#exmormon

[samwisethewitch]

Something I've been thinking about lately: In conversations about being intentionally child-free, I see a lot of people talk about how much they resent constantly being told that they'll change their minds someday. And yeah, that sucks. When you tell someone that they'll regret their choices or go back on them someday, you're telling them you don't trust them to make their own decisions. And that's a dick move.

But what I see left out of a lot of these conversations is the fact that some people do change their minds about kids, and that is also okay.

People change. Our priorities and our values change. Someone identifying as child-free at 20 and then realizing at 30 that they actually do want to be a parent doesn't invalidate other people's decision not to have kids. It doesn't even invalidate that person's previous decision. They're growing. They're changing, and that's okay. Healthy even.

When I was 18, I felt very strongly that I would never marry and never have children. For me, this was a reaction to growing up in a religious environment where women were second-class citizens, and what little autonomy/independence single women had immediately went away when they got married. And once you had kids? Well, once you had kids, your personal life was officially over and your identity now started and ended with being so-and-so's mother.

If your only model of marriage and parenthood is a nuclear family where the husband is in charge and makes all of the decisions while his wife does all of the housework and childcare and not much else, OF COURSE you wouldn't want to get married or have kids! My thought process at 18 was basically, "Well, I want to have my own money and make my own choices and have an identity outside of being a mom, so clearly the family life isn't for me."

I'm 25 now. I'm married. My husband and I both kept our own last names, and we maintain separate bank accounts. I have a job that I'm good at, and a lot of people know me from my work. I still have my own money, make my own choices, and have my own identity. None of that went away when I got married. All that's changed is that I have a partner and best friend that I decided to do life with, and we had a ceremony and signed a piece of paper to make it official. We're not quite at the having kids stage yet, but it is something we both want someday.

Me wanting marriage and kids now doesn't invalidate my decision at 18. When I was 18, focusing on my education and career was absolutely the right choice for me. I needed to be able to focus on myself without considering how it would affect a spouse or kids. Eventually, I realized marriage and parenthood can look a lot of different ways. I realized I can decide what they look like for me. I don't have to follow the model I grew up with. And I realized I do want raising kids to be part of my life, just in a way that looks different from what others might expect.

This is a process a lot of people go through, especially women and femmes. If you're in the middle of it right now, just know that you're allowed to change.

And of course, a lot of people don't change their minds. A lot of people who identify as child-free at 20 still don't want kids at 30, 40, or 50. I've met people in their 80s and 90s who never had kids and don't regret that decision. My point here is that some people changing their minds about something doesn't mean it's not a good option for other people.

(And, let's be real, unfortunately a lot of people go the other way: they think they want kids until they have them. That's way more complicated because now there's a whole human person involved who is dependent on them for care and this definitely deserves its own post, but the best advice I can give is if you're young, you need to give yourself time to figure out what you want before committing to anything.)

[xmo-rmon]

“Inseminary”

or “Lockpick to the Priesthood” or “Come Unto Me” or “Pearl Necklace of Great Price” or “Faith is Like a Little Seed”

Authentic stolen holy text, Near Clear silicone, gold pigment.

I went to the mormon church’s website, looked up their views on homosexuality, noted the scriptures they referenced, ripped them by hand out of the bible and book of mormon I stole from their chapel, and then mixed them into a silicone dildo of my own design like confetti. A dildo which will of course be used for homosexual purposes (with non-lubricated condoms and water based lube, for safety).

I’ve wanted to try dildo making for literally over a decade. I don’t have any fancy equipment like a 3D printer or a vacuum chamber, I made the sculpt by hand, and I fucked up a lot along the way, but all that being said I’m proud of what I was able to accomplish and I learned a lot. I put in more gold than I meant to, but honestly, it was meant to represent scripture’s gilded edges, and as it turned out, it looks really beautiful or quite filthy depending on the lighting, which feels entirely appropriate for scripture.

It was hard to read all of those verses. But as I tore them up I bathed them in the intention to take words that were meant to inflict queer pain wherever they go, and say “Actually, I pull those words out when I want some queer pleasure.” Build joy where they want you to have it the least.

Read about/donate to the Timpanogos tribe, for whom brigham young sent out an “extermination order”

LandBack

[the-jesus-pill]

Teaching children thinking bad thoughts about someone is the same thing as murdering that person is fucked up. 

Thought crime doesn’t exist. No one has ever been harmed or killed by someone thinking negative thoughts about them. 

You know what has harmed people though? Teaching them they are evil for things they can’t control. Especially those who have intrusive thoughts. 

Here’s for everyone who has been taught their thoughts make them evil.

Intrusive thoughts are not your secret desires. 

They are involuntary. 

You don’t need to be ashamed of them. 

They will pass.

You are not committing taboo. 

No one can read your mind.

No one will ever know what’s in your thoughts unless you feel like telling them.

No one can judge you for what you are thinking, whether voluntarily or involuntarily.

Your thoughts are private

You are not a bad person.

[wetassspossum]

i feel like having religious trauma from mormonism is so fucking lame. like at least other branches of christianity have cool imagery like rosaries and stained glass windows. wtf am i supposed to romanticize, Joseph Smith? Family home evening? That one very specific painting of Jesus that every mormon knows?

[nobetafortomorrowedie]

It really bothers me when people describe the way I grew up as "sheltered" when in reality I was not being sheltered or protected. I was intentionally confused. I was kept in the dark. My reality was being controlled.

[exmojoe]

Is your love language really acts of service or were you raised with the sole purpose of being a caregiver for all of eternity??

[imsoglitter]

I don't know what atheist needs to hear this but when someone tells you they're a cult survivor, telling them that all religions are cults is both untrue and unhelpful 😌💕

[godsporncollection]

My boyfriend did a thing

[apostatement]

Your body is not your enemy. It isn't a shell that you inhabit or an empty temple. Your mind is not a separate entity, your soul is not an inhabitant. Its desires and needs are not the devil trying to trick your soul. The 'natural man' is you. Your body is you. That's YOU.

It's okay to treat yourself with love and respect.

[bizlybebo]

anyways since it’s the holidays shout out to religiously traumatized people, people questioning their religion, people who just got out of their religion, people considering getting back into their religion, people who miss their religion even if it ended up hurting them, people who never practiced religion, people who have practiced religion their whole lives, and people who don’t celebrate christmas/celebrate other holidays because of their religon

and FUCK the mormon church

[midnight-in-eden]

One of the little joys of leaving the church? Getting to enjoy my hobbies guilt free.

No more “Is this movie inviting the Spirit into our home?” No more “If you spent as much time reading scriptures as you do reading novels it would be a way better use of your time!” No more “You can play some fun songs on the piano but you should mostly focus on learning hymns, then God will multiply your talent!” No more “You seem to care about this collection a lot, it’s not becoming a false idol to you is it?” No more internalizing all those critical thoughts until I can’t even enjoy those hobbies when I’m alone.

Now I celebrate the things I love. I don’t feel guilty or like I should be spending my time on more ~righteous~ activities. I know that humans need a variety of hobbies and outlets and I cherish the interests I have that let me experience different facets of life. Everything doesn’t have to have a gospel related purpose. Sometimes I can love a hobby with my whole heart just because it’s so fun :)

[arch-aeology]

But Jesus said unto him, Judas, betrayest thou Son of man with a kiss?

closeup and rambling under the cut :)

slowly healing from religious trauma by viewing the Bible as a work of literature (rather than The Old Book That Runs My Life) and its interesting as fuck tbh,,, also I recently watched Jesus Christ Superstar for the first time and I am absolutely obsessed. Gethsemane and Heaven On Their Minds go so damn hard. Anyway I felt like doing an actual rendered piece and was having thoughts about Judas Iscariot and this was the result!!

[goose-onthe-loose]

Happy Tears

[hereforthevampires]

don't worry, i'm out here counterspelling every mormon who tries to pray for you

[xmo-rmon]

“The Devil’s Temperature”

Authentic pilfered holy text and two weeks’ worth of forbidden, “unwise” beverages.

Read about/donate to the Timpanogos tribe, for whom brigham young sent out an “extermination order”

LandBack

[fallenandproud]

I DONT CARE HOW YOU JUSTIFY IT THIS RELIGION SHOULD NEVER MAKE SMALL CHILDREN SUICIDAL!!!! THEY ARE IN THE THIRD GRADE THEY SHOULD NOT WISH TO BE KILLED