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#eyebrow plucker
blueiscoool · 1 year
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Archaeologists Unearthed Dozens of Roman Tweezers in Britain
Archaeologists have unearthed dozens of Roman tweezers in Britain, revealing the ancient culture’s obsession with hairlessness.
The collection has now gone on display in a new museum at Wroxeter Roman City, which in its prime would have been as large a settlement as Pompeii.
The simple tools would have been used not only for plucking eyebrows but for removing any unwanted hair – including in armpits.
The tweezers are part of a wider exhibition of more than 400 artifacts which illustrates the Romans’ preoccupation with cleanliness and aesthetic beauty.
Among the other items on show are a strigil (skin scraper), perfume bottles, jet and bone jewelery, make-up applicators and amulets for warding off evil.
English Heritage, which runs the museum in Shropshire, revealed the find on its website.
Cameron Moffett, English Heritage curator at Wroxeter Roman City, said online that the find was one of the largest of its kind in Britain, indicating that tweezers were a “popular accessory.”
“The advantage of the tweezer was that it was safe, simple and cheap, but unfortunately not pain free,” he said.
The Romans greatly valued personal hygiene, attending communal baths daily. Many people would have had their own personal cleaning sets, including an ear scoop, nail cleaner and tweezers.
Usually associated with eyebrow shaping today, tweezers would have been used for general hair removal, including to pluck armpit hair, said English Heritage.
“It may come as a surprise to some that in Roman Britain the removal of body hair was as common with men as it was with women,” said Moffett.
“Particularly for sports like wrestling, there was a social expectation that men engaging in exercise that required minimal clothing would have prepared themselves by removing all their visible body hair.
Often performed by slaves, hair removal could be very painful. According to English Heritage, Roman author and politician Seneca complained about the noise at the baths in a letter, saying “the skinny armpit hair-plucker whose cries are shrill, so as to draw people’s attention, and never stop, except when he is doing his job and making someone else shriek for him.”
Wroxeter Roman City, or Viriconium Cornoviorum as it was known, is one of the best preserved Roman towns in Britain.
Previous excavations have uncovered the forum, the market, the bath house, a large hall known as the bath-house basilica and the town houses of wealthy residents.
By Lianne Kolirin.
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gaylittlerichie · 2 months
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hi so you said you'd always want reddie asks so I decided to give you some more because they're fun,,,
anyway,,, your take on a feelings confession? first move? love confession? (this can go as kids or adults, or both. have fun with it)
fav richie and/or eddie headcanons? (like relationship wise or individual)
and what do you think of the fics that have richie like publicly come out like careerwise? do you like the realistic ones where it's a slow process and it's scary? or do you like the more like easier to accept himself richie because he's a lot happier in his skin?
Anyway, feel free not to answer these, but I know that I would die to talk about reddie so I thought I'd send you some in solidarity lmao.
BLESS U FOR THESE! YEESSS LETS GET INTO IT REDDIE NATION!
so for a feelings confession: ive said it before and ill say it again i think they never even Announce it to each other they just keep getting gayer and gayer until it cant be denied anymore. they r very nonverbal communicators to me…it’s all about the well timed hand squeeze. the head on shoulder. the intricate rituals if u will.
either that or richie would just get Caught Out and eddie wouldnt believe whatever flop lie he tries to cover up with.
a fave reddie headcanon of mine is that eddie loves 2 pick at richie’s gross scalp like when apes groom each other affectionately. he is givingggg pimple popper he’s giving eyebrow plucker
as for richie’s big fat 40 yo coming out i do much prefer it being gruelling and weird to navigate cuz i have never wanted to be happy once in my life u see. fics that pull u along for his slow + reluctant + very very belated self acceptance journey r always DELISH!
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neplistens · 9 months
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I kinda want to yap about how i view miguel,
I loveee the idea of him resembling him mom a lot and him having slightly lighter hair than her that he inherited from his father, and moles that he also inherited from his father, but miguels hair,skin,eyes, face shape, body type is all from his mom
For example
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Heres a wip of miguel im working on, hair and lips,nose, and jaw are all derived from conchata.
I think miguel has much thicker eyebrows than their mom but only because Conchata is a chronic eyebrow plucker and keeps hers very thin and groomed.
Miguel does inherit some traits from his father, being his slightly lighter hair and moles and small freckles on her face.
What makes me sad is, i genuinely yearn for miguel having a loving family, a broken one, but loving all the same.
I feel like miguels story would be so much more heart wrenching if rather than just having two blatantly abusive parents. He has a workaholic emotionally unavailable father, a father that is great when hes around, but is at work far too often to be known by his wife and children.
And a mother, who is extremely emotionally dependent on her children, especially miguel for her emotional needs, conchata who has episodes of deep depression where she cannot get out of bed, where miguel must stand up and take care of the house, his mom, and his little brother.
Miguel who has to act like a father to his family, miguel who has to act like a mother to his family, miguel who has to act like a child for his parents, even though he has felt far from a child for years.
His mother is so loving when she can be, brushing his hair, making him snacks of cut up fruit and his favorite crackers. But when she cant be miguel feels squashed under the weight of tucking her into bed, reassuring her that she is safe, and becoming a mother for yet another week. Even though he has just only entered Highschool.
His father sleeps at work most nights, but miguel always makes enough dinner in case his father returns at a decent hour. If not, miguel eats his fathers portions in the morning, trying to fill the empty feeling in his stomach. It doesnt work.
Yet miguel isnt mad, he cant be mad. He cant complain. His mother is sick. And his father works so hard just to be able to support this family. miguels family.
His parents have never done anything to hurt him intentionally, they are the kindest, sweetest people Miguel has ever met.
But they shouldn’t have been parents.
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palmer · 2 years
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Straight men can play gay characters all they want but they’ll never be able to make me believe they sucked dick and liked it. It takes a special kind of eyebrow-plucker to sell that.
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bargainshouse · 4 days
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#UKDEALS Professional Scissor Handle Eyebrow Tweezer Slant Tip Tweezer Flat Tip Tweezers Hair Plucker Pliers Beauty Tools for Women and Men, Straight Tip Hairgripping Eyebrow (Sliver) https://www.bargainshouse.co.uk/?p=124357 https://www.bargainshouse.co.uk/?p=124357
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yukyunotabibito · 4 months
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[ Makeup Parlor ]- A recent troupe of beauty specialists have been reserved to lend their services to the Ethereal Ball. Crushed pigments, rouge, blush, eyebrow pluckers, pore-blurring powder, mani-pedis, hair clippers, and more, they offer it all! Got an emergency to take care of mid-ball? Look no further! You will be back to turning heads by the time they’re finished. What better way to look at the Ethereal Ball than irreproachably perfect.
"I don't trust anyone to fix your makeup." Naesala's way of greeting Nasir is almost as if they are good friends -- Naesala knows better than that, though. "If you are wearing makeup, that is. Here, sit down, let me put a little eyeliner on you."
He nudges Nasir towards a chair. He feels comfortable enough with that, at least. With a smile he produces as small amount of both eye makeup and blush. "Sit back. Relax. You'll look lovely as ever."
He knows haircare, how much harder could this be?
Nasir raises an eyebrow as King Kilvas approaches them, and with certainly an odd proposition. Did he think they were that close? Surely not.
And it wasn't like Nasir would ever need makeup anyway. All of their life, they had been blessed to have a naturally attractive appearance. But they shall indulge the raven for now. They are direly in need of a little entertainment anyway.
"Lovely huh? I never would have dreamed of the day that you, Naesala, of all people would be saying that to me," They chuckle softly, blue eyes sparkling with mischief, "I am in an indulging mood, do what you wish."
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pweetykitten · 11 months
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Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: NWOT Brows Palette.
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prettyininkbylorie · 1 year
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What is Microblading Brows? Who Should Consider It, and Why?
Microblading brows is a progressive method that has surprised the magnificence world as of late. Whether you're worn out on managing rowdy eyebrows, have scanty or over-culled temples, or essentially want a more characterized and cleaned look, microblading is a semi-long-lasting arrangement that could change your magnificence schedule. In this blog, we will dig into what microblading foreheads are, who ought to think about it, and why it's turned into a unique advantage in the realm of restorative upgrades.
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Figuring out Microblading Brows
Microblading is a semi-long-lasting restorative system that includes the utilization of a handheld device with super fine needles to store shades in the skin's upper layers. Dissimilar to customary eyebrow inking, microblading makes hair-like strokes that mirror the regular appearance of eyebrows. This method considers a more practical and redone look.
The Microblading Process
The most common way of microblading brows normally includes a few stages:
Consultation: The excursion starts with a meeting with a prepared and guaranteed microblading expert. During this meeting, you'll examine your ideal eyebrow shape, variety, and any worries or questions you might have.
Planning and Design: The specialist will cautiously allot and plan the state of your eyebrows, considering your facial highlights and bone construction. This step guarantees that the end product is impeccably custom-made to your extraordinary face.
Numbing: A skin desensitizing cream is applied to limit inconvenience during the technique. Most clients report just gentle inconvenience or a slight scratching sensation.
Microblading: Utilizing the handheld apparatus, the specialist fastidiously makes hair-like strokes in the ideal regions. Color is stored in the minuscule entry points, bringing about regular-looking eyebrows.
Last Touches: When the microblading is finished, any vital changes or last contacts are made to guarantee balance and flawlessness.
Recuperating and Contact Up: After the technique, your temples will go through a mending interaction. A final detail meeting is generally planned within half a month to address any blurring or lopsidedness and to guarantee the end product is immaculate.
 Who Ought to Think about Microblading Brows?
Microblading is a flexible arrangement that can help many people. Here's who ought to think about it:
Those with Scanty Brows: Assuming you have normally meager eyebrows or have encountered balding because old enough, ailment, or over-culling, microblading can fill in the holes and make the deception of more full foreheads.
Over-Pluckers: Assuming you've succumbed to the over-culling pattern of the past or have harmed your temples, microblading can assist with reestablishing their normal shape and completion.
Occupied Individuals: Microblading is a life hack for the people who need to awaken with impeccably prepared temples without the everyday problem of attracting them.
Alopecia Sufferers: For people with alopecia or different circumstances causing balding, microblading can give a certainty helping arrangement.
Chemotherapy Patients: Patients going through chemotherapy frequently experience eyebrow balding. Microblading offers a method for recapturing a feeling of predictability and confidence.
Individuals with Sensitivities or Sensitivities: If you have aversions to cosmetics or skin-responsive qualities that keep you from utilizing conventional forehead items, microblading is a hypoallergenic elective.
The Benefits of Microblading Brows
Now that we've covered who ought to consider microblading, we should investigate why this system has acquired such ubiquity:
a. Normal Appearance
Microblading makes surprisingly regular-looking eyebrows. The fine, hair-like strokes mix consistently with your current forehead hairs, making it almost difficult to distinguish the microbladed regions from normal ones.
b. Time-Saving
One of the essential advantages of microblading is the time it saves. You can express farewell to the day to day everyday practice of penciling, powdering, or pomading your foreheads. Your eyebrows will be all set when you awaken.
c. Certainty Boost
Full and obvious eyebrows can help your certainty and improve your general appearance. Microblading can assist you with accomplishing the foreheads you've needed for a long time, giving a huge certainty of support.
d. Low Maintenance
Microbladed eyebrows require insignificant upkeep. While a final detail meeting is prescribed every 12 to a year and a half to keep up with the dynamic quality of the shade, you won't have to invest energy in day-to-day upkeep.
e. Customization
Each individual has extraordinary facial highlights, and microblading considers this. Your specialist will work with you to make eyebrows that supplement your face impeccably, guaranteeing a tweaked outcome.
f. Semi-Permanent
Microblading isn't long-lasting like customary inking. The shade blurs progressively over the long run, giving you the adaptability to change the shape or shade of your eyebrows as patterns change or your inclinations develop.
g. Negligible Discomfort
Most people report negligible uneasiness during the methodology, on account of the skin desensitizing cream applied in advance. The slight distress experienced is certainly worth the delightful outcomes.
h. Reliable Technique
Microblading has been refined throughout the long term, and present-day procedures are protected and viable when performed by ensured experts. This strategy has a demonstrated history of progress.
I. Prompt Results
Not at all like a few corrective techniques that require a long time of recuperating, you'll see the consequences of microblading very quickly. Your foreheads will look normally full and obvious just after the method.
 Focusing on Microbladed Brows
Appropriate aftercare is fundamental to guarantee the life span and liveliness of your microbladed temples. Here are a few ways to focus on your recently upgraded eyebrows:
Keep away from Water and Sweating: For the initial not many days after the technique, stay away from water, perspiring, and difficult exercises that could cause unnecessary dampness on your temples.
Keep Them Dry: Tenderly smear your eyebrows with a perfect tissue if they become sodden. Abstain from scouring or cleaning.
No Cosmetics or Skin Care Products: Avoid cosmetics and skincare items on the treated region for basically seven days.
Safeguard from the Sun: Sun openness can blur the shade. Apply sunscreen to your foreheads or wear a cap when outside.
Abstain from Scratching or Picking: Irritation is typical during the mending system, yet fight the temptation to scratch or pick at your foreheads.
Follow the Aftercare Instructions: Your professional will furnish you with explicit aftercare directions. Follow them cautiously to guarantee the best outcomes.
All in all, microblading brows is a groundbreaking and certainty-supporting system that has turned into a famous decision for people looking for normal-looking, low-upkeep eyebrows. Whether you have scanty temples, have succumbed to over-culling, or just need to smooth out your excellence schedule, microblading offers a variety of benefits. By picking a guaranteed and experienced specialist, you can partake in the advantages of this imaginative semi-long-lasting restorative procedure and wake up each day with impeccably prepared foreheads that improve your normal excellence.
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raleeshpoy · 1 year
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Beauté Secrets Nail Cutter Set, 18 Pieces Grooming Kit (Eyebrow Razor, Tweezer, Hair Plucker, Baby Nail Cutter, Ear Cleaner,Nail Cleaner,) Pedicure Gift for Men and Women, Green
Price: (as of – Details) Product Description Beauté Secrets 18pcs Manicure Set & Pedicure Set Beauté Secrets 18pcs Manicure Set & Pedicure Set Pink has all the tools you need to make professional manicure and pedicure. Just prefect size and lightweight make it convenient to carry, great for travel and daily life! Every tool is manufactured by the careful process of cutting to make sure it can…
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norahaze · 2 years
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marjanbaby01 · 2 years
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Dorco Tinkle Eyebrow Razor, Hair Trimmer Shaver, Tough Up Tool, Facial Razor with Safety Cover, 6 Razors | Skincare Party Favors | Dermaplaning Tools....(Under $10)
For more details and get it amazing prize CLICK the below link:
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ongaku-ato-kakikomi · 3 years
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Hellooo!! If you’re still writing for monster prom can I get a scenario with the main 6 where their s/o pranks them by not saying I love you back for like the entirety of the day lmao (that is if you’re accepting requests ofc! Love your work btw!!💞💞)
(A/N): It’s been a while since I’ve written about these six, thank you so much for requesting! <3 
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Miranda Vanderbilt:
“Alright, I’m ready!” Miranda smiles brightly at your reflection in the mirrow, her hands clapping together once as she turns towards the room’s exit. “I’ll see you in the car, honey!”
“Okay!” You speak out as you try to apply some mascara, your face making a weird expression in the process. “I’ll be in-”
She cuts you off before you can finish, her form disappearing in the hallway. “I love you so much!”
You giggle at her words, your head shaking before you continue to apply your mascara. “I’ll be in the car in a bit!”
Silence follow that exchange, to the point where you’d almost believe Miranda already left the house, only for her to quietly walk back into the room with a stern look on her face.
“I said...” She takes a breath in, mimicking her ealier tone of voice with a slight hint of irritation in it. “I love you so much...!”
You snort at her, finishing applying your mascara. “Okay, and I’ll be in the car in a bit.”
She breathes in and out sharply, her eyes almost glaring at you as she starts clapping each syllable of her words. “I! Love! You! So! Much!”
“Yeah, I heard you, honey.” You use your hands to make sure your hair looks nice, your eyes flickering at her reflection in the mirror. “Why are you saying it so much?”
“Because you’re not saying it back!” She huffs, her arms crossed over her chest. “You know I can execute you for breaking my heart, right?”
“I’m breaking your heart?” You can’t help but chuckle, your head turning towards her with a soft look in your eyes. “Aw, babe!”
“Nuh-huh! Don’t ‘babe’ me!” She rises a finger in the air, taking a step back when you approach with pluckered lips. “I won’t forgive you until you say it back.”
“Alright, alright... I love you much more.” She gives out satisfied grin just as you peck her lips with yours, your head shaking at her. “Can we go in the car now?”
“Yes.” She stretches her arm so you can grab it, the two of you walking out of the room together. “But don’t think I won’t take my revenge for this.”
You just chuckle as an answer. Miranda always had a need for a dramatic scene.
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Damien LaVey:
A giggle escapes through your lips when his lips tickle your cheek, his arms wrapped around you giving you a tighter squeeze as he speaks. “I love you.”
You hum as a response, still gigling from the ticklish sensation his lips leave against your skin. He takes a pause seconds later, his mind having seem to realized that you haven’t answered him yet.
“I love you.”
“I know.” You gently pat his cheek with your hand, slowly getting out of his grip so you can continue the organization of a shelf you were doing before he interrupted you. “But I’m busy, babe.”
His expression hardens for a moment, his arms crossing over his chest. “So you’re mad at me.”
“What?” You genuinely blink in confusion, turning your eyes to him in an instant. “I’m not mad at you.”
He quirks an eyebrow, not believing your words for a second. “What did I do?”
“Nothing!” You chuckle, turning your attention back to the shelf so you can swap two things. “I’m just busy re-organizing, that’s all.”
“... okay.” A smile of relief takes over his lips a few seconds later, his lips finding their way back to your left cheek so he can press a kiss on your skin. “I love you.”
Your lips stretch into a teasing grin. “Yeah, I know.”
He gives out a sigh of frustration. “You’re mad at me.”
“I’m not...!” You give out a sound of disbelief, looking back at him once more. “I’m not mad at you!”
Your words only seem to bring a wave of confusion upon his face. “Well, if you’re not mad at me, then what’s the problem?”
“I told you, there’s no problem!” You notice that he doesn’t quite believe you, your head tilting at him with a genuine smile. “I’m not mad at you and there’s no problem, I promise.”
“Well... then...” He closes and opens his eyes a few times just as you turn your attention back to the shelf, his confusion increasing with each second that passes by. “Why won’t you say ‘I love you’ back?”
You stay silent after his question, humming a song under your breath as you swap objects. Damien squints his eyes at you, slowly realizing that you’re playing with him.
“Hey.” He interrupts your work once more, gently turning your head to him. “Kiss me.”
You rapidly press your lips against him, giving him a smile right after. “There. Happy?”
“No.” He shakes his head, looking into your eyes with a determined look on his face. “I love you.”
Your smile turns into a teasing grin, the mere sight of it turning his expression to a frustrated one. “I know.”
He gives out a desperate groan as soon as you pronounce those words. “You’re driving me insane!”
You give out a yelp of your own when he roughly grabs you into his arms, a laugh coming out of your mouth when he runs and drags you into another room.
He’ll make you say it back no matter what, even if it takes him all day to do so.
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Scott Howl:
“Ah!” Scott rapidly gulps the last bite of his breakfast when he looks at the time, his body soon standing up from his chair and grabbing a nearby coat of his. “I’m almost late; I gotta go!”
“Okay!” You take a bite of your own breakfast, making a wave-movement in his direction with your fork. “Bye bye!”
He flashes you a grin as he steps out of the room. “Love you, bye!”
You hold back a grin from your place. “Bye...!”
His body freezes and his smile drops, a sad expression rapidly taking over his features as he takes a few steps back into the room. “(Y/N)? I love you...”
Your lips form a sweet smile, your cheeks full of food. “Yeah, I know!”
His eyes sadden at your words, and he takes a few more steps back towards the table. “But I’m leaving...”
“Yeah, I know! Have fun at work!” You make anothe wave-movement with your fork, gently urging him to leave. “Go, go! You’re gonna be late.”
You feel your heart drop as soon as you see the tears fill up his eyes, his bottom lip quivering as he whispers out his next set of words. “You don’t love me back?”
Regret washes over you in mere seconds, your hands already letting go of your breakfast.
“Oh, no, Scott!” You rush over to him as fast as you can, your arms wrapping around him in a tight hug. “I love you more than anything! You know that, right?”
“Yeah?” You hum at his question, his arms hugging you back even tighter. “Then why weren’t you saying it back?”
“Forget about it, I was just trying to do a stupid prank.” You slightly move back to be able to look into his eyes, your hand gently holding his right cheek. “I love you. Now go to work or you’re gonna be late.”
“Okay!” A wide smile takes over his lips just as he presses them against yours for a quick kiss, the action making you giggle. “See you later!”
You slowly shake your head at him leaving in a rush, the werewolf’s tears now completely dry when you witness him step out of your home a few seconds later.
In the end, you just couldn’t do this to him.
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Liam de Lioncourt:
“I’m gonna go to the store real quick.” You press your lips against Liam’s temple as you speak out those words, grabbing your car keys on your way to the door. “I’ll see you in a bit.”
“Hm.” He barely reacts to your actions, his eyes preoccupied with reading the words poured on his book pages. “Love you.”
“Okay, bye!”
You close the door behind you with a grin on your face, already wondering the kind of face your boyfriend might be showcasing right in this moment. Liam, on the other end, simply blinks a few times in confusion, his eyes looking back at the closed entrance door with an unreadable look on his face.
A light of realization passes through his eyes a few seconds later, his lips forming the hint of a grin soon after.
Oh, you wanna play this game? Well, let’s see who will win.
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“I’m back!” You walk into your home with a bag in your hand, your eyes rapidly spotting your boyfriend still reading his book on the same couch’s spot. “Did you miss me?”
Liam slowly turn a page with his fingers, his eyes not even flickering towards your form once. “You’ve only been gone for twenty minutes, (Y/N).”
You give out a frown, wondering if he even noticed that you didn’t say the precious little words back earlier. 
“Hey.” You sit down next to him, dropping your bag on the floor as you give him a grin. “I love you.”
His own lips stretch into a small smile; in the end, you couldn’t even do your prank for more than thirty minutes, and you were gone most of that time. 
“I know.”
Your expression drops, your lips immediately forming a pout. “Liam...”
“Hm?” He looks back at you with his head tilted, a teasing light in his eyes. “What is it?”
You suddenly seem to realize the reason behind his expression, your pout worsening as a result. “Why are you messing with me?”
“Why are you surprised? You’re the one who messed with me in the first place.” He slowly closes his book, turning his full attention to you. “What? Want me to say it back?”
You slowly nod, your cheeks heating up when he approaches his face to yours.
“Try again tomorrow.”
You give out a gasp just as he re-opens his book, the vampire going back to his reading despite your fist gently hitting his arm. “You’re so mean!”
He only gives out a grin as a response; this is what you get for trying to prank him.
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Polly Geist:
“Bye, (Y/N)!” Polly screams out those words as she runs down the stairs, her eyes flickering towards your form sitting at the kitchen table on her way to the door. “I’m going to a friend’s party; I’ll be back later!”
“Okay...!” You look up from your paperwork to give her a grin, trying your best not to let it seem teasing. “I’ll see you later!”
She extends her neck back so she can look at you a little longer, the rest of her body continuing to walk out of the room’s view. “Love you!”
You chuckle just as she disappears in the hallway, your words coming out a little louder so she can hear you. “Okay, have fun!”
The rapid steps she was taking towards the house’s entrance abruptly take a turn back towards the kitchen, a pouty Polly rapidly arriving into view.
“Hey.” She speaks in a sad tone, her eyes looking at you with an expected glint in them. “I love you!”
You have to bite your tongue to stop yourself from saying it back, trying your best to keep your eyes glued to your paperwork. “Okay! I’ll see you later, babe.”
“(Y/N), I love you!”  Polly takes a few steps into the room, a slight hint of suspicion taking over her mind when she notices your lips twitching into a grin. “Why aren’t you saying it back?”
“Huh?” You try to look at her with a dumbfounded look, already knowing your prank is failing when you see her lips stretching into a wide grin. “Saying what back-”
“I love you!”
You give out a yelp when she throws herself at you, pushing the two of you on the kitchen floor as a result, and you can’t help but let out a chuckle despite the pain of such a violent fall. The laughter increases when Polly presses her lips against your face over and over, her arms bringing you close into a hug.
“I love you! I’m not letting you go until you say it back! I love you!”
“Okay, okay!” You gently push her head back from yours, your eyes staring into hers as you give out a fond smile. “I love you.”
Her grin stretches onto her cheeks just as she presses one last kiss against your cheek. “Thank you!”
She frees you soon after, her feet rapidly taking her towards the entrance door while you continue to chuckle on the floor. You should have known Polly would manage to take the words out of you... she’s even more stubborn than you could ever be.
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Vera Oberlin:
Vera rapidly types a message on her phone as she walks into the main living area of your home, her body making a temporary stop next to the couch you’re sitting at.
“Got a meeting in town, so I’ll be going.”
“Okay.” You barely look up from your own phone, your eyes glued to your screen as you try to hold back a smile. “Make sure you come back alive.”
She gives out a scoff, her lips forming a small grin as she walks away. “Can’t promise anything.”
You look at her back just as she reaches the door, your eyes gluing themselves back to your phone when you see her hand reach the door knob.
“I’ll see you later.” She opens the door with one hand while simultaneously typing with the other, already taking a step outside of your apartment. “Love you.”
You bite the inside of your cheek, hoping it’ll be enough to stop you from smiling. “Okay, bye!”
Just as the door was about to shut close, Vera’s hand grabs its handle and slowly pushes it back open, a quirked eyebrow on her face. You look back at her as soon as you notice the shift in the atmosphere, trying your best to showcase a confused expression.
“Um... bye?”
“... bye?” Vera’s upper lip slightly twitches, her head tilting at you. “I said ‘I love you’.”
“Okay...?”
“What, you can’t say it back?” Her eyes squint at you, slight frustration taking over her features. “It’s common sense, hun. If I say it, you say it back.”
You give out a snort, your lips breaking into a teasing grin. “Okay. I’ll see you later.”
“Well, maybe you won’t.” Her frustration increases when she realizes that you’re playing her, not quite wanting to play this game with you today. “This meeting could end badly. I could never come back.”
“Even if you die, you’ll find a way to come back here.” You dismiss her words with a small movement of hand, your eyes glued back to your screen. “You’re gonna be late, by the way.”
She glares at you from her place, her frustration now fully swirling inside her chest. “I hate you.”
A laugh comes out of you just as she steps out with a pout on her lips, your mouth forming an O shape as you give out your next words. “Aw, Vera! I’m sorry, I love you!”
You only hear muffled words through the walls, making your laughter turn into chuckles. You know you’re going to regret pulling this little prank on her; after all, Vera always finds the perfect revenge right on time.
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“Don’t be much longer”-Heath ledger’s joker
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You and J had been dating for around a year now. J had stumbled into your living room one night in seek of someone willing to nurse him back to health and despite the nagging in the back of your mind telling you to kick him out and call the police you didn’t. You let him use a pair of eyebrow pluckers from your makeup bag to dig in his arm for a bullet that had lodged itself in his tricep. From then on whenever he was in need of a place to lay low your sofa was always there, until one night when he ended up in your bed rather than the sofa.
Granted dating the clown had been difficult and finding a way to fit into each other’s lives was always a challenge but somehow it worked. Sure each of you had your moments and sometimes you questioned your love for the man so many feared but you would never leave him. And he would never leave you.
It was an average Saturday evening and you had just finished cooking lasagne. J had been out all day on ‘business’, leaving in the early hours of the morning, but had promised to be back by seven to eat with you. It was a common occurrence that every Saturday evening J would make an effort to come home to you and spend time in each other’s company. It was a sort of non verbalised rule between the two of you. However it was now eight o’clock and the food on the table was beginning to grow cold and the red wine you had poured had been left untouched for an hour now.
You fumbled with your sleeves contemplating on phoning him. The emergency burner phone that J had gifted you after a month of being together had lay untouched in your bedroom drawer, not necessary until now. Worry ate away at you as you made your way to the bedroom you and your partner shared. Pulling the draw open you grabbed the phone and quickly pressed the call button.
The phone buzzed in your ear as the repetitive vibrations rug continuously but finally there was an answer.
“What’s wrong doll I’m in the middle of something here” J’s gruff voice spoke through the receiver. You breathed a sigh of release almost expecting a Gotham PD officer to pick up the call.
“You’re late for dinner,” you replied voice soft in hopes that J wouldn’t be mad that you had called him over something so silly. Shuffling could be heard on the other side of the call as the sounds of muffled voices spiked your interest. J had never conversed with you over his plans when he went out, the only times you knew what your lover did when he left the house was when it was plastered all over the news that the joker had struck again.
“Ah yes, sorry doll got a little let’s say carried away here. I’ll be back soonish” he spoke, voice menacingly calm and almost quiet.
“Don’t be much longer,” you said laying back on your shared bed, “I miss you.”
J hummed in response and the line went cold. You knew deep down that J had missed you too, although he would never admit to it. He cherished nights when the two of you would curl up together and forget the worries that life brought. Being in each other’s arms savouring the soft kisses that you shared as the heat of the night enveloped you both was something magical that neither of you would purposely miss. A part of you knew that J would do anything to be there with you, cackling over a stupid joke he had made.
Knowing that your clown was safe you made your way back to the kitchen table, picking up the plates and scrapping the uneaten food into the bin. I think takeaway would be your best bet for tonight.
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jeeperso · 2 years
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D&D Quotes Without Context
Ravenloft Edition, Har-Akir Arc, part 2
GM: Last time on the yawning portal runners Ravenloft edition. You guys arrived in Har Akir, the land of mummies. You ran into Nima, who was running a scam that was scummy, you got in a mess with the local constables, who are dummiies, and found out about Kat's family, who are all extremely punny. Gorbash: “Not Funny!”
Marshal: "We do not muck with hippos.” Jonni: “The fuck’s a hippo?” Willow comes up, "You know those mammoth things youtalk about? Think them, only they go in the water.” Jonni: “Are they worshipped by fuck sticks?” "One of the local gods has a hippo head yes." Simone says.
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Simone: ”Anyway, I thought I'd yet you know. that my brother has decided to write and star in a satirical one man show protesting my treatment today. So if you have to save his stupid ass from being hanged later this week you'll know why.”
Gorbash: “And this is why Irost is New Eddie.” Jonni: “Only if I’m allowed to set people, your brother included, on fire.” Simone: ”If he's not lit on fire he wont learn anything.” Jonni: “I could do it now, save us the trouble.”
Edmund: “I do not have a magical gambling problem. It was one time!” Gorbash: “Did you forget the riverboat?” Edmund: “It was two times! Two times is not a problem!” Marshal: “The only reason you still have your soul was because Poom drew a full Exodia.”
"Young man, did someone send you to deliver this scroll? I wonder who would have such a message for us.” “Any of the people here who hate us?”
Maggie takes the scroll and opens it "Ezra dammit I can't read this moon speak.” Edmund inspects the scroll, adjusting his glasses. It’s written in Har Akir Hieroglyphs. Jonni: “Eye, bird, other bird, backwards facing guy, sexy lady, sexy lady…”
"Dearest daughter, welcome back to the land of your birth, please come home for dinner tomorrow night. Bring your pet birds and any other of your companions you think will amuse us." Maggie raises an eyebrow "Did they just call us pets?” Jonni: “Fireball’s got a long range. They’ll never know it was me.”
"I'm not a thief, I'm a treasure hunter. Big difference. Besides they probably have the town guards bribed big time.”
"Look we can't murder the in laws before we even meet them. Save that for the Festival of Thanks. Or when politics comes up.”
"If it comes to it, I can excuse us by playing the missionary card. They'll leave us be if I present pamphlets.”
Irost: “I'd love to entertain, but I’m in the middle of writing my one man satire play.” Simone: “I. WILL GET. A HOSE.”
"We can be the bigger people here. “ "In my experience being the bigger person is overrated.” “You’ve never slept with a storm giant, then.” Gorbash: “I'm pretty sure we have the moral high ground... also Marshal and I are probably bigger than them.” "If they are bigger than you two, I will be worried.”
“Can I Rob [sic] them?”
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"At least wait until after we eat, Jonni. Never pass up a free meal.” 
 "As kin to our hosts, Maggie has right of first refusal regarding loot.”
Gorbash: “We'll see how the evening goes. If its just unpleasant and awkward, swipe the silverware and other small valuables. If they really suck, looting everything not nailed down and breaking out the crowbars is always an option.”
"Foreign gods are not recognized here. Under the law, I have no authority and thus no strong feelings one way or the other regarding larceny.”
"We're gonna totally fuck with my moms Peacocks.” “I can cast polymor…. Oh with. Sorry.” "No no keep talking."
"I have a bad feeling about this. We're going to have to fake being dead again before this is all over.” "But we haven't used plan #4 in a while, it will be fun.”
“Can’t sleep. Hippos will eat me.”
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Poom is dragged around by her voices to look in "antique" shops. Yog-sothoth: "And this is a brain-plucker: they jam it up the nose to drag out the head-meats, which they think are just some kind of cooling system.”
Edmund: ”Do we need to take gifts? Would it be rude to show up without something?” Gorbash: “...In that case I would only suggest bringing a gift if you can find one with a blatantly insulting meaning to it.” Jonni: “I usually bring the smallest dong I can find when I do that.”
“Which one is the god of curing impotence?”
Emblaming tools: you only ever use them when someone's dead.
Kat holds up a tiny statue of a Hippo headed god "Behold Sute, who sows despair and discord.” "A god of chat rooms.” “Good, bad, it’s the god with the gun... and a chainsaw, apparently.”
"Please don't. Mummy Rot is NOT to be joked about.” Azathoth: "Depends on the affected part.”
"Let's just focus on being political with Kat's family... Polite on the surface, mildly insulting under excusable sleight-of-hand expressions..”
Nyx: ”It is when they have enough power to snuff out your life without you having even a chance to fight back. Semantics.” Gorbash: “Life is sadly filled with many things with that sort of power.” Marshal: "Yes, I too am familiar with capitalism.”
Kat: ”I imagine we will be at open blows before desert. My mom is the Goddess queen of microaggressions.” Gorbash: “Well I'd lay money that we're better at open blows than your folks.” Jonni: “I’m better at macro aggressions.” Gorbash: “Just remember not to set the place on fire while we're in it.” Jonni: “I promise nothing.” "Some of us aren't fire resistant.” Gorbash: “Well not everyone is born with it. Can't be helped.” Marshal: "Nor access to the elixirs of Maybelyne.”
"That's only because Jonni is very careful not to burn us. She shows alot of restraint considering what she COULD do…" Jonni: “THANK you. At least SOMEbody noticed.” "I notice every time. It's why I have no problems traveling with you. You are in no way a Pyromaniac. You are a Pyro-saniac.” Poom: "I thought she was a Nymphomaniac.” Gorbash: "She is. Jonni contains multitudes.” "She is a mani[y]-maniac…"
"Only 40 Mauve peacocks. Peasants in the eyes of Vesh.”
Poom doffs her cloak to the mummies. Which may or may not mean she is now naked.
Jonni holds out the statue. “Yo. We got you this gift. It’s a statue with a head of one of those hairless bears in the river.”
"Oh Sweetie you made it. And you brought the circus, how thoughtful.” It seems like mom is deep into her third cup of wine of the evening. "Oh, it looks like the circus was already here before us, with all that make-up I thought you were a clown.” Azathoth: "Clowns have better accents.” "I know, Azathoth, but I'm trying not to push it just yet.”
Jonni: “Oh, I plan on putting on a show.” Poom: "Just make sure we survive.”
Gorbash: “As Jonni usually says... Don't threaten me with a good time.”
Poom: "Roast kenku never smells that good.”
Jonni: “Oh, if you like, I can regale you of tales of my affections.” Kat’s Mom: ”Oh I bet a lovely lady like you turns all the young men's heads.”
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There is the sound of three Elder Gods going "Da fuck?”
Jonni tosses cat-mom at the Guards and turns off polymorph. Guards: "You may come with us to the hall of judgement and WHAT THE DEVIL?” Jonni: “CHEESE IT!”
Jonni: “I don’t care if you’re innocent of not. Fuck everyone that was in that room.” Poom: "I'd object, but I have eaten people.”
"Oh Gods, I left Katerninetales back there.” Gorbash: “Do we need to make another round of cat-knapping?”
"The dad checked out long ago and is avoiding showing any emotions to keep his sanity.” "Ah. Minimum wage experience.”
"He probably had a little miniature town in his basement he meticulously reconstructs as a hobby.” The two kats look at you "You are really on point with the insights." "He imports these little connecting brick toys form Borca. It’s weird.” Poom: "I thought those were disguised caltrops.”
"Okay, someone has to stay here with Kat and her brother, who is going with Marshal to rescue the wife?” "Irost, which way is the moon?” "Up there, obviously.” "Ah, a volunteer. Thank you.”
“I can fly.” "I can create holes in walls.”
Gorbash: "Jonni, an excuse to mess with Nima just came up!” Jonni: “Mess with or kill?” Gorbash: “At least the first, probably the second as well.” Poom: "There needs to be a line?”
"Yeah. I know where it is. And we are NOT going there. You will die.” "Not the first time.” “Everyone says that. It never takes.”
"No idea, but anything that touched the ground was eaten alive.” Poom: "Sounds like Thanksgiving at my family's place.”
"Even if they're horrible. Family is family.” Poom: "Yours isn't trying to eat you alive.”
"After we get her ring can we please just end Nima once and for all? Pretty please." Nyx makes puppy dog eyes.
“What, exactly do you want?  The longer you talk the greater the odds I kill you and fish the ring out of the ashes.”
"But just because we don't trust each other doesn't mean we can't be of use to one another.” "Mutually assured sudden-yet-inevitable betrayal. A distressingly common occurrence to us.”
“No one controls Jonni. Jonni can’t control Jonni!”
"We'll just be borrowing your ten-foot Poky Stick of Knowledge, though.”
OOC: This sounds like a situation that ends with riding a skeletal T-Rex. OOC2: Considering where we are? A Mummy Rex. OOC3: Nah, giant mummy hippo the size of an elephant.
OOC: If the book contains rituals… I may have a plan. OOC2: Use the book to rid us of Oloch? OOC: Two plans.
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papercutsmp3 · 3 years
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plucker accident leaves girl without eyebrows (again) why do i keep doing this ... maniacally i would say .. now i am upset 👎
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elliesgaymachete · 4 years
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For the writing prompt: #1 with Beauyasha, featuring Jester the wingwoman! Beau's torn up about her feelings, but Jester just cuts through her doubts with a simple truth that pushes Beau to go for her angel: “It’s really not that complicated.”
Jester always knew how to approach Beau when she had loose lips. Thanks to all the alcohol that Kent Plucker brought to Runblecusp, the party at TravelerCon was in full swing and Beau was pleasantly tipsy when Jester sat across from her at the small table.
She rested her chin in her hands, batted her eyelashes, and gave that signature Jester smile that was equal parts calming and disconcerting.
Beau froze, her drink halfway to her lips, and raised an eyebrow at her friend. “Can I help you?”
“You know, we haven’t had any girl talk in a while,” Jester said.
“So?” Beau scoffed.
“Sooo...” Jester leaned across the table. “You and Yasha? Spill.”
Beau’s cheeks flushed, and instinctively her walls shot up around her. She knew she hadn’t exactly been subtle about her feelings for Yasha, but she was good at one thing: lying like hell.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Beau brushed off.
And if she had been talking to someone less insightful than Jester, the lie might have worked. Unfortunately for her, Jester was smart, especially when it came to romantic dealings. She said nothing and hardened her glare, eyes boring into Beau’s skull until Beau had no choice but to relent.
Beau’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “It’s complicated,” she sighed.
“What’s complicated about it?” Jester asked.
Beau knew she would keep persisting until she had all the answers she wanted. It was no use trying to hide anything from her best friend.
“I dunno,” she shrugged. “She’s beautiful and strong and kind of incredible. And I’m...” Beau trailed off at a loss for words. She sighed. “We never know what to say around each other plus there’s the whole dead wife thing that we haven’t talked about because, again, I can’t fucking talk to her, and—“
“But you like her, right?”
At Jester’s interruption, Beau hesitated. Not because she needed time to think about the answer, but because it surprised her how simple it was.
“Yeah,” she muttered.
“Then it’s really not that complicated,” Jester said.
Beau rested her head in her hands and peered over Jester’s shoulder to the arts and crafts area where Yasha sat on the ground, surrounded by a gaggle of children while she braided together flower crowns. She had a bright smile on her face, a rare occurrence for Yasha. It was beautiful. She was beautiful.
Yasha looked up from what she was doing and found Beau watching her. She froze, and the flowers in her hands fell to the ground. Beau held back a smile at her adorable fumbling, and waved.
Yasha bit her lip, but a little gnomish girl tugged on her arm and Yasha redirected her attention to the children around her. She picked up the crown, braided the last flowers together, and placed it atop the girl’s head.
“Just talk to her,” Jester said. “It’ll be a lot easier if you just say how you feel.”
Beau frowned. She probably should just talk to Yasha. The answer felt so simple, but at the same time, she was terrified.
Beau finished the rest of her drink and turned to Jester again. “If I do, then you have to take your own advice,” she said.
Jester blushed, but before she had a chance to reply, Beau stood up and walked straight to the bar for another drink.
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