#fake mustaches

[wrynrambles]

Dick Grayson hands out ridiculous businesses cards for his side hustle: Hire Nightwing for Your Kids Birthday Party! He use to be an acrobat, so he's qualified.

Not a soul has put together the pieces yet, not even when he showed up in THE Nightwing costume. They all just think it's Dick Grayson, the acrobat, who is like... Unnaturally skilled at everything.

[fakemustaches-blog]

Fu Manchu Mustache

From the name itself you can guess that this is a Chinese narrow kung-fu style mustache. Fu Manchu is actually a character in an English novel and you could cosplay him with this long mustache. The mustache comes in multiple color options and it is made of good-quality synthetic fibers. You will find online the best matching costumes for this mustache as well. The mustache costs around $13.

[the-witchhunter]

DP x DC: Puppy Love

Waiting for my friend in the emergency room(they’re fine, we’ll not fine obviously but not actively dying) so might as well write on my phone

So if there are two things I’m adamant about it’s that Alfred should still be alive and that DC SHOULD GIVE JASON BACK HIS DOG

For those poor souls that do not know, Jason had a dog name, and this is 100% true, Dog. Jason is canonically bad at naming things so he named his dog Dog. And the storyline between him and her is actually really touching. He rescued her from a dog fighting ring where she was used to bait dogs. Jason earned her trust showed her kindness and she loves him for it and it makes me emotional. GIVE JASON BACK HIS DOG YOU MONSTERS

She’s not dead just got written out by giving her to someone, but still, that man loves and pampers Dog, gave her an engraved nameplate and everything

But consider Cujo, the ghost of a dog being trained to be a guard dog, put to death long before his time wanting the thing that made him happy in life: his toy. Danny finds him, bonds with him and helps him get back the thing he loves most, and Cujo loves Danny for it.

A story as old as time, a boy and his dog, or in Danny’s case a boy and his ghost dog.

So imagine this: Danny moved to Gotham with Cujo and things are going great, except for one thing.

Cujo has a little crush

Now normally this wouldn’t be a problem, but Cujo is a ghost. Aka he can walk through walls. So when Cujo wants to visit his lady friend, he just bolts right through the wall, and leads Danny on a merry chase.

Meanwhile Jason is confused to come home to his penthouse only to find Dog cuddled up with a smaller green dog that isn’t Beast Boy. The other dog is friendly and gets along with Dog, but it’s driving him crazy wondering how he got in without tripping an alarm. Then there’s a knock on the door

Jason opens the door to find an out of breath guy about his age with black hair, blue eyes and windswept hair that might have been intentional if it hadn’t been for a few leaves stuck in it.

And that’s how Jason met Danny

Cut to this happening a few more times and then turns into organizing little “dates” for their dogs and the while falling slowly in love with each other romcom style

That’s right, this has been a romcom about two dog owners falling in love because their dogs are literally obsessed with each other

Bonus: Danny giving Cujo “the Talk”

Danny, wagging his finger: Don’t make a rosemary’s baby, understand?

Cujo: Bark

Danny: ... good.

[ninjafuuzz]

the evil stache bj propaganda

[suntails]

⚔️🦈

this is a piece from my silver artbook, currently accepting preorders!! u can get a copy here!

non-UK: suntails.bigcartel.com

UK: etsy.com/shop/SuntailsArt

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Halloween and Wei Wuxian day!

[jojotier]

getting slightly emotional bc when i was 13 homestuck was about watching people like me become gods but now that im 23 it's about watching children kill themselves in the pursuit of becoming adults

[jadewritesficshere]

Y'all know those lil toy capsule machines at like arcades and pizza places? Eddie would be all over those. The adventure, the mystery, the suspense, the joy of whatever is inside!

Gets one of those temporary heart tattoos? Slaps it on his ass and asks you to help place it as he winks and shakes his behind. Fake mustache? He puts it on and adopts an accent just to make you giggle. You push him away when he tries to kiss you because the fibers are itchy. He immediately rips off the mustache so he can kiss you again.

Sticky hand? He is using it to grab quarters off the table to fling towards him. Slaps the hand against your butt and giggles at the resounding smack it makes. Slinky? He keeps tipping it over the table onto the ground until he forgot it and stepped on it, breaking it instantly.

Little rubber alien head? Sits on the dash of his van. Stickers? Sticks them in your notebooks with doodles and notes. Bouncy ball? Wayne confiscated it after it bounced into his coffee on accident.

But the most recent one?

Two giant eyes connected by a piece of plastic that make a ring. Eyes for a hand puppet. Eddie immediately placed it on his hand and started talking to his hand as if it was another person. Hearing him carry on a conversation in his regular voice, and then a high pitched squeaky voice was fun to watch.

You're showering when you hear a wolf whistle. You turn and two giant googly eyes on a hand is staring back at you. You can see Eddie's shadow through the shower curtain, but he can't actually see you. He moves his hand so it mimes the jaw dropping ," Wowza!"

You giggle as you slap at his hand," Get out!" Eddie bursts into laughter. "Can I join?" Eddie asks, moving his hand in time with his words. "No, you can't." You watch as Eddie's shoulders seem to droop. "But my boyfriend Eddie can." Eddie's hand immediately retracts and you hear the plastic eyes hit the ground followed by the sound of clothes coming off.

[sleepyorchidmonster]

So. About the Pajama Party Birthday series...

What if it's just a reference to Book 7 (since everyone's asleep).

What if the Groovies are just the character sleeping back in Diasomnia, with Malleus' Overblot form in the backround?

You can even make things a bit silly by having different poses for Malleus. Like, he's all menacing in Jamil's groovy, and then he's trying to learn card tricks in Ace's...

[wheats-pizza-tower-sideblog]

ive been in desperate need of an outlet for my pizza tower fixation so here is an art dump :D

expect a few other posts today for more specific projects/stuff that doesnt fit here

(adding cut so this doesnt clog feeds)

can you tell i really like the noise yet

[flowerquib]

GUYS MY ART WAS FEATURED IN THE QSMP MUSEUM OH MY GOD????

I- 🥹🥹🥹🥹

POMME AND RICHARLYSON <333

[bmair]

heck a fake smile

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

i have this really stupid idea in my head that im frankly a little obsessed with and the idea is this: trent crimm doing a drunk history episode on ted lasso's first tenure at richmond. is that how drunk history works? i don't think so. do i care? absolutely not. it's a special episode who cares because this image is not only hysterical to me but treasured. i treasure this image. i hold it close in my heart and also laugh and laugh and laugh.

[ofthecaravel]

I cannot wrap my head around Jake not only being his own opener, but announcing aforementioned opener with the only somewhat noticeable change being that he has more pronounced facial hair. Yknow, the most classic fake bad disguise gag in every Saturday morning cartoon ever. Does he even understand how fucking funny he is

[justaghostingon]

How to be a Bad Husband without Shijie getting Mad at You

A guide by Wei Wuxian

An arranged marriage au because i’ve been reading to many of them recently.

Just after the sunshot campagin, the jiang are still rebuilding, and jiang cheng realizes he has a problem

The jin want to marry jin zuxian to yanli, and take the jiang in as a vassal state, which he doesn’t want

And wei wuxian’s rep isn’t doing them any favors

He needs to rebuild his alliances, establish themselves, and do it fast

So when the lan’s offered a new treaty he said yes immediately, before reading it

He really should have read it, because it wasn’t a treaty, it was lan xichen, tired of his brother’s pining, offering an engagement deal between lan zhan and wei wuxian

Now jiang cheng can’t back out without losing face, and in this state he really can’t afford too.

So wei wuxian finds himself engaged to lan zhan, counting down the days towords their rapidly approaching marriage

As you can imagine, wei Wuxian is not happy about marrying someone who he thinks hates him and his cultivation methods

He complains bitterly to shijie and jiang cheng

Jiang cheng is as annoyed as he is but he can’t think of a way out without rhe lans drawing out first

Wei wuxian says he’ll just drive lan zhan away! Make him want to divorce!

Then yanli steps in, and scolds wei wuxian fiercely,

See lan zhan is marrying out, coming to yumeng to live to a culture he doesn’t know among strangers.

Jiang yanli, who was engaged to do the same once upon a time, has been trained on what to expect, a s knows exactly how hard it can be for someone who doesn’t have her husband’s respect

So help her, her brother will not be one of those faithless dogs!

Neither jiang cheng nor wei wuxian have ever heard yanli call anyone “faithless dog,” and in that moment she looks too much like her mother for either of them to cross her

But wei wuxian’s not out of the game yet.

No one knows lan wangji better than him

This goody-goody is here to play martyr, to play cleansing and keep wei wuxian from his wicked ways, but he doesn’t really like him

He’s hear to be a jailer, not a husband.

All wei ying has to do is treat him like a husband, with all the affection, touch, and teasing that comes with it! Lan Wangji’s three least favorite things!

Lan wangji will be screaming for divorce in a week!

Wei wuxian doesn’t get to put his plan into action until after the wedding, as he isn’t allowed to see lan wangji until then

But once its over, he puts his plan in full swing

First step: cuddling. Lan Wangji hates touch, wei wuxian loves it. So naturally to drive lan wangji mad, he needs to touch him constantly, sitting in his lap, holding his hand, cuddling at night, etc

This does not work. Lan wangji was a little hesitant at first, but now he seems to be tolerating it with only the slight reddening of his ears to show his rage

He even seems upset when wei wuxian isn’t sitting in his lap!

Wei wuxian thought at first that this was because they were inside their house and home, but when he plopped himself down on lan zhan’s lap at a sect conference, in fromt of everyone…lan zhan put his ARMs around his WAIST like this was NORMAL

Now wei Wuxian is the weird one who’s tucking his head into lan wangji’s neck, embarrassed

From this experience wei wuxian realizes something: Lan Zhan’s a secret cuddle bug!!!

He just never got the chance thanks to all those stuffy clan rules

And well, wei wuxian can’t leave a fellow cuddle bug hanging can he? Think about all thr hugs lan zhan has missed that he needs to make up for! He’ll just have to think of something else.

Step Two: presents. Lan zhan never liked any of the porn or alchol wei wuxian tried to give him before, so clearly he’s gonna hate it if wei wuxian gives him that and more!

Wei wuxian starts piling lan wangji with gifts. Porn! They’re married now so he can’t refuse! Alcohol, the best of the best! Spicy food he made himself! This pretty ribbon he saw at thr market and thought of lan zhan! This lantern with a bunny on it! That silk with bunnies…this painting of bunnies…

He might have gone a bit overboard with the bunnies

No matter what he gives him, lan wangji takes it with solemn grattitude, and tries it out. This proves a problem when lan wangji keeps eating the spicy food even as it clearly hurts him

Shijie frowns disaprovingly at him once while watching lan wangji guzzle water, and wei ying swore to do it never again

The less said about the alcohol incident the better

There is one more serious gift he gives lan wangji, one he knows he won’t dissaprove of. Smuggled among the presents and clothes, he brings in new “attendents” who look suspiciously like those wen remandents who seemingly vanished into thin air from their containment camp.

Lan wangji takes them in gravely, and soon their home is filled with the sound of laughter as a small boy runs after lan zhan

So clearly gifts aren’t working. Time for step three: sex

…..

…..lan zhan won.

Maybe all those gifts of porn were a bad idea, sullying such a pure mind

At this point Wei Wuxian is getting desperate, nothing he does is making lan wangji less willing to marry him. Its time for desprate measures…

Step Four: tell the truth. He’s never going to stop demonic cultivation and return to the sword path. He can’t.

He needed to tell him anyway, with all the touching they do, it was only a matter of time before he figured it out himself.

Lan Wangji says nothing as wei wuxian explains how he lost his core (still not mentioning how, he’ll take jiang cheng’s secret to the grave) how he was in the burial mounds, how its gone, gone gone and this is all he has left!

Before he knows it he’s a sobbing mess, tears and snot trailing down his face.

Not a very pretty picture for a husband huh?

Lan wangji only opens his arms, and pulls wei wuxian close, letting him cry himself silly in his arms.

It hurts, but it also feels good, safe, like lan zhan is a rock who will stay steady even against the tide of his own emotions

Still, it was a lot, and once he calms down he thinks this time, for sure, lan wangji will leave. He was kind in the confession, because that’s his nature, but surely, surely he doesn’t want to stay chained to a man who can’t even cultivate.

Jiang yanli asks to speak to lan wangji privately, to check in on how he’s adjusting, and wei wuxian sneaks in to listen, bracing for the worst

…when had the worst become lan zhan leaving?

Yanli asks if he has any complains, wei wuxian tenses, and lan zhan…

“I’ve never been so happy,” lan zhan says, because lan’s do not lie.

Wei wuxian is so shocked he tumbles from his hiding place. Yanli frowns with exasperation at him but all his attention is on lan wangji

Do you mean it? He asks

Of course,” lan wangji nods, then adds, “i love you” as if it were the simplest thing in the world.

Wei wuxian is laughing, he’s crying, he has an armful of lan zhan and the taste of his lips and well…

Maybe this marriage thing is pretty great actually.

The end

[oshaskell]

Gay semiotics (1977) by Hal Fischer (Buck and Eddie edition)