#fake petsite

[flightdescending]

here are some fake-alternate-petsite FR familiars (Creeping Tendril, Bantam Fangar, Bumble, Sparrowmouse, Elk, Radioactive Slime) but they're dressed up for some events we had (Halloween and Christmas, the clown was for our "birthday party" anniversary and the mashed potato slime was for thanksgiving lol)

[hanggarae]

💬🗯️💭 THOUGHTS ???

one shot smau’s about svt being horrifically down abysmal in chronological order

you might have some serious problems idk w jeonghan!

jeonghan plotting so that he can go on a date with the girl he saw in the library

there’s something seriously wrong with you too idk w joshua!

joshua fakes being a doctor so that the pretty girl in his class notices him

you might be an idiot idk w scoups!

scoups joins the basketball team so his crush notices him and his friends wingman for him

you need to get some help idk w jun!

jun pretending to be a tutor to get ask his crush out on a date

i think you need to have a discussion with a therapist idk w hoshi!

hoshi going the extra twenty miles to prove he should date you

ur still stupid idk w wonwoo

wonwoo wants to show you he’s your ideal guy that you tweet about

just tell her idk w woozi!

woozi helping your ‘little’ cousin with a music project because he’s scared of directly asking you out

i might’ve lost my mind idk w dokyeom!

dokyeom gets a dog bc the girl he likes wants one

you seem a little desperate idk w mingyu!

mingyu bothering the tl with his thirst traps for the girl he has a crush on

at least you’re determined idk w minghao!

minghao trying to make you confess after you guys had beef in high school

you make some poor decisions idk w seungkwan!

seungkwan says he’ll petsit for u

ur a little extra idk w vernon!

vernon starts a skincare brand to impress u

u need to get a grip idk w dino!

dino blowing his bank account to impress u

[lesgay-loser]

kinda wanted to do one of these even though im super late to the trend so!

tell me in the notes which ones if you have multiple !!

[klausinamarink]

Klaus’s Birthday Special!!

After an overwhelming acceptance to the idea, I’ve decided to make it official: in celebration of my upcoming birthday, I will write whatever you offer!

How it goes:

There will be a list of specific quotes, lyrics, and AUs in which you can pick one (or two if you wanna be spicy) and throw it in my inbox with any character/ship of choice. But it’s TOTALLY OPTIONAL! Otherwise, if you have a prompt that doesn’t fall under the below list, then you are welcome to suggest it anyway! I will gladly write it and you will die from joy.

While I will accept anything, I would have to to clarify that there are some certain tropes and ships that I will not write. A few I can list off the top of my head are omegaverse, soulmates, and any Billy Hargrove ships. Otherwise it’s free real estate.

Inbox will be open and the fics will be posted on the week of my bday (April 21-27)

✨The Birthday Prompts✨

Worms

Human/Monster

Accidental Confessions

Treehouses

Mythology AU

Attempted Sexy Times

Picnic

Proposal

Swimming

Babysitting/Petsitting

The Homoeroticisms of Blood/Gore/Viscera

Canon scene goes different

“Because you’re a jinx!”

“Okay but imagine if [insert wild train of thought]” “It’s 3 AM…”

“Why are you here?” “I have nowhere else to go…”

“Promise me you will be there.”

“What are you going to do, stab me?”

“You had one friend. I was your only friend.”

“I was on my own. I was all on my own.” “Not anymore.”

“Please god, just let me have one good day!”

“Two shots of vodka.”

“Know your place, you piece of trash!”

I’ve stood here before inside the pouring rain

After the night, when I wake up, I’ll see what tomorrow brings

All day I’ve been wondering what is inside of me / Who can I blame for it? I say it runs in the family

I’m in waking hell and the gods grow tired

Mirror talk, fake love, but I’ll take a pound of your flesh

The scene ends badly as you might imagine in a cavalcade of anger and fear

I’m singin’ at a funeral tomorrow for a kid a year older than me

And I hope the junkyard a few blocks from here someday burns down

You should have raised a baby girl, I should have been a better son

[kiriel123]

MDZS/The Untamed fic recs

this quiet violence by curiositea

Post canon wwx wakes up one morning and finds that lwj is trapped in sleep. Alongside Lan Qiren, they dive into lwj’s mind to bring him back to the waking world. The family bonding! The EMOTIONS. No one out here doing it like ao3 author curiositea

Veritas by trickybonmot

Modern AU wwx has been taking increasingly terrible fake dates to family functions for years in order to stop matchmaking attempts. When his latest date cancels on him, lwj steps in, motivated to be the best fake date yet. And he doesn’t disappoint!

I will be chasing a starlight by feyburner, sundiscus

Star Trek fusion and what have you been doing with your life if you haven’t read this?? Lwj is a Vulcan, wwx loves ships, and even with telepathy emotions are hard to understand. Especially with telepathy. Features wwx’s brand of heroic recklessness. All time classic, instant favorite

A Sword With No Hilt by Deastar

A/B/O alternate canon omega lwj goes into heat in the Wen dungeons and beta wwx fakes being an alpha and terrible person to protect him from Wen Chao. But even though the acting is fake the consequences are real. Mind the tags, but a really good exploration of trauma and non-traditional a/b/o

I search myself (I want you to find me) by ilip13

Modern AU feature straight boy Wei Ying. Wwx doesn’t really think about much when he masturbates until he comes across a surefire fantasy – lwj and a pretend girlfriend who in no way resembles wwx. It takes a while but wwx figures it out in the end

Come sunset by danegen

Post canon wwx falls victim to a curse that can only be cured by lying in the arms of his beloved. Since wwx knows he has no beloved and is doomed, he goes to Gusu to bid lwj a farewell. You’ll never guess what happens next!

all this, and love too by friedkiki

Post canon wwx picks up a little ghostly traveler during his travels, nothing to be concerned about, except his little traveler really wants to taste human flesh – specifically lwj flesh. The ghost is a romantic cannibal

work song by lianhua_lianzi

Post canon wwx travels and sends letters back to Cloud Recesses, and lwj mysteriously finds he has business in the area that wwx was last seen in. They both have plans. Marriage plans. Such a sweet fic

Adventures in Pet Sitting by raitala

Modern AU lwj offers to petsite his brother’s many animals while Lan Xichen is off traveling with NMJ, and ends up cohabiting with nhs and wwx. There is much bonding and self discovery and thirsting happening in that apartment

of nothingness of everything of nevermind by Spodumene

Modern AU wwx asks best friend lwj what he wants for his birthday, to which there’s only one answer: to marry wwx. After thinking about marriage and the many things they could do while married for a month, wwx takes action

[salt-volk]

honestly reading up on anji's past with ayways makes the shitshow that is DV make so much more sense. customs aren't going to change because anji's made exactly the type of site she wants. she does not care about the economy or fake petsite class divide whatsoever; she got popular from ayway's shitty breeding system and wanted to recreate the same thing. giving suggestions on how to make the system more equitable and fun for a wider variety of players will do nothing because she LIKES things this way. which like, it's her site, so power to her i guess, but if you don't like it then please for the love of god stop giving DV money. they are not going to take your suggestions, they are not going to change. they don't care!

.

[terra-tortoise]

(tomswifty-fr) For the ask meme - Ashfall Waste, Icewarden, and Trading Post!

The Ashfall Waste - What’s your favorite part of the site?

umm gosh i think it may be how easy the dressing room / scrying workshp are to use. i could just design fake dudes forever with ease. no other petsite has given me that. obvs they could be easier but theyre the easiest ive seen so far.

Icewarden - Does FR’s official site lore play into your own?

it does!! i dont follow it to the letter and ive diverged a bit since i first started playing but a lot of my lore like. uses official lore as the foundation. i ignore a Lot of stuff for fun tho

Trading Post - Have you made friends through or because of FR?

i havent actually! a lot of ppl i was already friends with ive like. learned they play FR and i started playing Because of a friend, and i am Friendly With a few ppl on there on a regular basis (like, there are people in the earth discord i have spoken to enough times to be like yeah we're acquaintences) but no one i talk to regularly!

[quichelewoof]

Weekly Woof #27

What are you most looking forward to regarding the full launch?

Definitely looking forward to being able to keeping wolves and solidifying the lore I have to permanent wolves. As well as creating custom outfits and items for them. Way too excited for that.

[the-breloominati]

JESUS FUCK ITS THE CRYSTALLINE GALA HOW AM I FINDING OUT AT 11:03 PM WHAT THE FUCK

[flightdescending]

ok i'm gonna post just a few of the many, many edits on the bases lol. here's some FR familiars (Radioactive Slime, Creeping Tendril, Bantam Fangar, Elk) but they've been painted with a Neopets paint brush

[crayons-and-cartoons]

Gift Ideas When You Have Little/No Money

Acts of Service

-Babysitting: if you know any parents (especially newer parents) offer to watch their children for them to give them a break, for many parents getting the gift of free personal time is wonderful

-Petsitting: It’s the same idea with babysitting, and if you know someone will be traveling for Christmas, offering to watch their pets while they are gone can be a great stress reliever!

-Cleaning: Offering to come over and clean someone room/house for them can also be a great stress reliever, especially for those who you know struggle mentally (many with seasonal depression related to the holidays will as well) and this can often lead to their living space becoming cluttered and messy and having someone else clean can be a big help (please also consider that cleaning someone else’s living space can be a very intimate thing and/or a hard thing to bring up for some, so I would advise to only offer this if you know the person well and know it would help them)

-Cooking: You could offer to cook a meal for someone, bake holiday treats with someone, or surprise someone with an at-home dinner date!

Handmade gifts

-Bring Someone a batch of homemade cookies

-Create your own spice mixes/ rubs for someone else to use while cooking

-Make your own recipe book for someone

-Make homemade chocolate truffles

-Write them a heartfelt letter

-Make your own sugar scrub for someone

-Create a playlist for them

-Make ornaments for them (you can find many ideas online)

-Make play-doh, you can find recipes for homemade salt dough online that are easy to make a fun to play with

-Make slime! The ingredients are really simple and you can make all different kinds for them!

-Make a heat pad, if you stitch a simple shape you can fill it with rice and it makes a microwaveable heat pack! You can make a big one for someone to put on their stomach or back, or a small pocket sized one for a hand warmer

-Shaped crayons: if you buy silicone molds and crayons you can meltdown the crayons, pour them into the molds and then when they cool it makes shaped crayons!

-A tie blanket, tie blankets are no-sew blankets made out of 2 pieces of fleece which is typically a very cheap fabric, if you’ve never made one you can find tutorials online

Skill based gifts

(These are primarily for people who would already have this specific supplies on hand, but if you are able to acquire the supplies, trying to do one of these for the first time is a great idea to make/give a gift and learn a new a new skill at the same time!)

-Make them a candle: you could make them a personalized scent, you could also use recycled jars and/or wax to make them!

-Knit something: scarves, hats, plushies are some things you could do, you can find many patterns and ideas online as well

-Make soap: you could personalize it by making it a fun shape, a specific smell, their favorite color, or by decorating the jar

-Sewing: similar with knitting, there is many options for things you can sew, some ideas are, clothes for dolls or plushies, winter pajamas, plushies, you could even make fake food out of felt!

Places to look for cheap gifts:

-Goodwill

-5 Below

-Dollar tree (This is also a good place to get craft supplies to make some of the gifts listed above)

-Walmart

-Etsy (while online shopping can get pricy especially with shipping costs, Etsy is a great place to find $5-10 gifts that are also from small businesses and/or artists)

[saltminerising]

now that i think about it, i'm not really sure why people choose to ask for real money commissions on fr. yeah sure there are plenty of teenagers who have their own income, but i imagine a lot of the younger userbase struggling to convince their parents to spend money for digital artwork. i know marketing yourself on serious platforms can be just as difficult and people have found great success on fr, but you're also competing with hobbyists who price their work low in fake petsite currency

[luigra]

Omg I had a dream that I tried to spread fake screenshots of Season 4 of the Life series, about how it was planned mostly by the Empires people and how they were scripting full-fledged plot for it and also it apparently was being planned to have petsite mechanics??? At this point I don't think I myself knew what I was leaking but it sure wasn't season 4 of third life

[batfoonery]

Dogsitter Dick! AU

Yes, another part of the ever-growing Flower Crown AU

So, it starts innocently enough. His neighbor in Bludhaven is going to be out of town for the weekend, does he mind feeding her cats? And cats basically look after themselves (plus if there's a problem his gremlin bro/child is basically a Disney Princess and can work his freaky pet magic).

And it becomes a regular thing. She leaves him $50 ($25 per day) and all is well.

But then she tells the old lady who lives on the second floor. And this is cool, totally manageable. Dick agrees to sleep over in her apartment to petsit her Yorkie with separation anxiety. Totally fine. It's not like he's far from home, and the dog is tiny and old.

Damian gives him a Look and snorts. Loudly. But Damian is also covered in baby bird down (the rescues are molting) and fake flower petals from his flower crown side hustle, so Dick elects to ignore him.

Barbara also gives him a Look and snorts. He also ignores her. It's easy money, and he can work it around his schedule. All in all, being a petsitter is considerably easier to maintain as a career when you're a vigilante than anything else he's tried. And if it's contained to the apartment building, it isn't a problem.

Except then the lady in 3A tells her friend at a complex a few blocks over. But whatever, it's still the same neighborhood, so Dick figures he can pull some overnighters there too. No biggie.

Everyone except Dick sees exactly where this is going. Duke and Tim both try to warn him and are promptly brushed off. Duke just shakes his head and pats the shoulder of an aggravated Tim.

Dick realizes that maybe he has a problem when he's on the other side of town, trying to wrangle a very mean rabbit. His name is Sir Oliver, and he's adorable, but even Dami can't get a pet in.

Sir Oliver's house becomes on of Dick's regulars. He can't say no, because the house owner is also his dentist and he's terrified of her.

The house has no wifi and a weird TV hookup that he can't figure out, so typically by hour 3 he's literally bouncing off the walls. They're conveniently located by a park, but one of the dogs (Lady Lemongrass) is an old English Sheepdog with hip issues so he can't walk her, one (Madame Margaret) is a Coton de Tulear who is too uppity to be permitted to walk on a leash, and the terrier mix (Fred) apparently has no idea how to walk on a leash. Dick stares at the park with deep longing. How is this his life?!

That house becomes both longed for (they pay well, he's able to charge them more than other clients because of distance, the number of pets, and also because they're rich white people who keep snubbing him so there's no emotional guilt) and dreaded. Especially when they decide that it's perfectly acceptable to have work done on the house while they're gone and not tell him more than an hour before the workers get there.

"I'm fine with the painters," he complains to Babs over the phone. "They're a group of sisters, and I could probably fend them off if needed, but I don't know if I feel comfortable being alone with an unknown male contractor."

"You're a vigilante, you routinely save the world. You'll be fine," she's quick to remind him. Dick decides she's soulless and clearly doesn't care if he goes missing. Dami would probably protect him, but he's in school and Bruce is mean and won't let him skip.

Instead, Dick slumps over the kitchen island, bored out of his mind as he sits and just.... does nothing, other than occassionally fidget with his phone to see if any new Pokemon have shown up.

Is is appropriate to leave your petsitting charges alone when there are workers over? He has no problem leaving people alone in his own apartment, but he has nothing of value and no pets. It feels morally wrong to do the same here. But he's out of snacks and coffee, and the dogs are locked away, so he sits and tries to look non-threatening and wishes he could go out to grab a nap in his own bed or fetch Dami from school so they can work on his flower crowns together. He's bad at putting them together, but he's great at cutting them up!

He does lose his patience when one contractor tries to get flirty with one of the painters, who is clearly not into it. But they're also quick to fall into line when he threatens to call the houseowner. They're known to be Karens, and nobody wants to deal with that.

"Never again," Dick says when he flops onto the bed, the four days of torture finally completed. He's nursing a bad bunny bite, and a migraine. Oh. And a backache, now that his spine is off of that way-too-soft mattress. His joints pop loudly in solidarity against this form of torture.

"Aren't you already booked for another long weekend in two weeks?" Jason points out with a smirk.

Dick groans. He really needs to up his rates.

[adultswim2021]

The Aqua Teen Hunger Force #55: “Carl” | October 24, 2004 - 12:00 AM | S04E13 AKA “Spacegate World”

Our long national nightmare of Spacecataz is over. And now we get this: an episode in which Carl petsits Meatwad’s dolls (by setting them on fire and freaking WHIZZING on them), sexually harasses women in his high school year book, and then gets slaughtered by stuff in the Aqua Teens’ home after breaking and entering. He broke and entered the domicile and was compromised to a permanent end.

I like this one a lot, and it feels like a minor classic to me. Carl-heavy episodes are always welcome. They are usually darker than most episodes; he’s detestable character who does detestable things but he is genuinely pathetic and (Ricky Gervais voice) he’s huuuurting.* and it speaks to the human condition in that there’s a remarkable amount of human trash out there leading miserable lives they don’t necessarily deserve but can’t fix. WE ARE ALL CARL.

The Aqua Teens aren’t much better than Carl; Shake is cruel to a homely woman who is compulsively eating ribs (I AM HER TOO). Frylock is trying to mack on a woman in a steel neckbrace who gets obliterated by Frylock’s security robot. The only good guy in this is Meatwad, who vandalizes Carls’ house, which is a good thing because that is how my antifa brethren behave so I support it.

*INSIDE JOKE HUMORLESSLY EXPLAINED! When The Office aired on Adult Swim, they included new introductions from Ricky Gervais that me and my friends found endlessly hilarious because they shot these cheeky promos where he’s doing his cheeky beaky shtick, and then you actually watch the intros and they are these dour little self-serious monologues about how much David Brent is “huuuurting”, as though he’s trying to retcon The Office as a Greek tragedy.

EPHEMERA CORNER

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Halloween Marathon with Angus Scrimm

On Halloween night, ATHF got a nice little 3 hour marathon hosted with bumpers by Angus Scrimm. I believe I recorded this using some convoluted method involving a faulty DVD-RAM disc (an extremely niche format that I embraced for various reasons but wasn’t super compatible with other machines), so the recording didn’t survive. Not sure if a full recording exists elsewhere. But If I recall correctly, there were unique introductions for each episode. Here’s a promo!

MAIL BAG

What do you think of Birdgirl?

Not only have I never seen Birdgirl but I’ve also never seen a Birdman episode with her in it. I remember a gross live-action promo where it’s a fake lawyer advertisement but it’s for the Birdman show and the guy is like “SEXY BIRDGIRL” and I think they showed some clips of her being wacky and it immediately flashed back to a bad drawing a guy on a message board made of a sexy redheaded girl but she had robot arms and legs and she was holding a sign that said “PORK”. Like it’s this weird pathetic fantasy that dorks have that “what if hot women were... Pythonesque? (raises eyebrow)”

Horatio Sanz also used the "I'm a scamp" excuse when he preyed on a teen. Thankfully despite his deep comedic bonafides (SNL, Big Lake, Boat Trip) he's never disgraced the Adult Swim stage except for an appearance on Adam Scott's awful Greatest Event in Television History shorts. Hopefully you will be doing those. They really feel like the death knell of the UCB era of comedy. Even has "The comedian's friend" Jon Hamm in them. Yucko!

Louie Anderson got #hetoo’d (that’s when a guy gets groped) and he was like “oh I was a big flirt” and then he morphed into a bowl of blueberries and never came back. Also, those Greatest Event in Television History things sucked, I agree.

[salt-volk]

1. This isn't about anyone specific; it's about a general trend. If you are a custom owner and what I have to say doesn't apply to you for whatever reason - your custom is private, you sell it for cheap, you give copies away, you make your public custom accessible for all walks of players instead of just the rich/other owners - then this post isn't about you. Same with if your friend is a custom owner and this post doesn't apply to them.)

2. Also, I support the existence of private customs. This is about exorbitantly priced customs available for potatoes, and custom trade only customs.

3. I know real life inequality is worse than fake petsite inequality. But since we've all decided to care enough about a fake petsite to gather here on Tumblr to complain about it, I'm going to talk about fake petsite inequality anyway. If you're here to tell me it's not that deep, consider you are also invested enough in DV to come here and discuss the goings-on - so I feel comfortable discussing them too.

With that out of the way.

I am really getting tired of this trend where we can only talk about flaws within the custom system by first going out of our way to insist that we only hate the system, we don't blame any custom owners, the entirety of fault lies with staff, etc. 

I understand why we as non-owners do it; we worry custom owners will get defensive and refuse to support our efforts to make the system more fair, or they will get their feelings hurt and make their customs entirely unavailable out of spite, and we don't want to take the opportunity away from people who currently can access them, or we don't want to be called entitled, even if what we are talking about is more about a system that favors 2% of users, not about whether we have a "right" to individual customs. And even when we make these disclaimers, half the time, custom owners come to us and complain that we didn't make enough of a point to only blame staff, or the words "rich user" hurt their feelings, or they don't like our "us vs. them" attitude. Even if we are just describing, in the plainest terms, the reality of what is happening on site.

The fact of the matter is - one, yes, the main problem here is that DV has made its custom distribution system an absolute nightmare. I won't get into that because there are posts all over DV and posts all over this blog about why that is. We've all read them. If you don't think there's a problem, either you're naive, you're a beneficiary of the system, or we fundamentally disagree on how the site economy should be structured to the degree that neither of us will be able to change the other's mind. However... custom owners are not helpless.

Custom owners have the right to price their customs however they like - therefore custom owners who choose to charge hundreds of thousands of potatoes per copy, up to a million potatoes in some cases, are making that choice. Staff is not making them. Other users are not making them (a custom owner who spitefully hikes up the price because they're angry about how people view their custom isn't being made to do anything, they're choosing to take out their anger on a few people on all their potential customers). The same goes for custom owners who only allow other custom owners to custom trade for copies. They don't have to make that the sole way to get their custom. They want to.

And if those owners offer lip service, saying they know the system is wrong, they don't like it either, they want it to change, they think the system excludes people - my question is, why not be the change yourself? Why wait for staff to, say, ban custom4custom trading, impose price caps, whatever it is that you tell people you think they should be doing? (I'm not speaking out for or against any of those suggestions, they are examples.) Why do you need to be forced to offer your customs fairly if you believe all users should have access to copies of non-private customs?

Yes, the source of the problem is staff and the system they put into place. Yes, we should spend our energy encouraging staff to make changes. No, we should never, ever harass, stalk, dox, or abuse individuals with customs (making a post about how custom owners, in general, treat non-custom owners is not abusive; I am talking about individualized, targeted abuse). No, bothering individual custom owners is not the way to get a fix.

But. But. Being allowed to do something unfair doesn't mean you should. 

And I wish we could admit that custom owners who still don't see the problem with custom trading or 200kp+ customs are knowingly being unfair to everyone else.

We've all admitted that it was wrong of people to exploit the Irining glitch to get up to a dozen customs each, even though the glitch was the fault of the staff, and the fact that they got to keep the customs instead of being refunded was the fault of the staff. We've still been able to come together and admit, "After that person got two or three customs at once, they should have realized something was fishy and stopped. Or they should have given away or sold some of their copies to give other people a chance."

So why can't we admit "You may be allowed to exclude non-owners from access to your custom, but it isn't right" or "You may be allowed to charge 500kp for your custom, but it isn't fair"?