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#fake/pretend relationship
wheredidhiseyebrowsgo · 6 months
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hi! i'm looking for an older fic that had stiles coming to derek's rescue and pretending to be his boyfriend. the one detail i remember was that derek would pull on his ear as a signal for help. thank you in advance!
Hi anon! @onedirectionfivedirections and @midnightwinterhawk and @velvxtmoss and @imonlyaliveforbuddie says it's this one.
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Sending Out an S.O.S. by fauvistfly
(1/1 I 6,552 I Teen I Sterek)
Derek decides he might be ready to start dating again, so the pack creates a signal that Derek can use if he ever needs saving from an uncomfortable situation. The signal somehow comes to mean that Stiles will pretend to be Derek's boyfriend. Eventually, Stiles saves Derek so many times that the lines begin to blur.
In which there are fake boyfriends, flirting, music festivals, a bit with a puppy, a cameo by Jack Falahee, and honest kissing.
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tanith-rhea · 1 year
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hii, I love your writing! I was wondering if you could do some fake dating for either Larissa, Miranda or Lucifer and female reader? :D You know the one where for some reason they decide it's good to pretend they're dating, but oh nooo they accidentally fall in love for real? 😱😏
Only Pretending
Hey, anon! Thank you so much for the request! I'm afraid it turned out bigger than I expected, I don't know what you envisioned but this will definitely be a multiple chapter one... Sorry!!!
Word count: 3k
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"That's all for today, guys. I won't give you homework, so enjoy the break and prepare for the quiz when we get back. Remember, the winning team gets a homework-free week!" you waved the excited teenagers out of class. It was the last period of the day and autumn break was officially started. Many wished you good rest and some a fun Halloween, but there were always the ones who bolted right after you said they could.
However, some stayed behind, too entertained gossiping to pay attention at the hour or — which was the apparent case — complaining about their mother coming to get them for "Family Halloween Traditions". Wednesday and Enid were still sitting at their shared desk, Enid trying to convince her roommate that "it" could be fun if she let herself enjoy the festive spirit and Wednesday complaining she would only have fun when Enid arrived.
You thought they were the cutest pair. So different and at the same time sparking out the most unexpectedly similar sides of each other; Wednesday encouraged Enid's feistier side through bickering and teasing and Enid made Wednesday smile begrudgingly with her cuteness.
"I think it'll be less horrendous than it's been before at least," Wednesday conceded, "Some different faces of people I actually don't loathe being around."
"Exactly, honey bun!" Enid chirped, getting up from their class and offering her arm for Wednesday to take, "I'll arrive early to rescue you from your mom and I'm sure Principal Weems will bicker with her enough to make you smile."
Wait, Larissa would visit the Addams? For Halloween? You could swear she barely tolerated Wednesday's mother from what you've heard of their history at Nevermore. Morticia seemed all right to you and according to other teachers and old acquaintances, quite fun to be around, but the poorly concealed disdain that overtook your boss' face every time the woman was mentioned fostered a small uneasiness and dislike to grow on you towards Wednesday's (un)beloved mother.
"Hello, girls!" you approached the pair with the pile of essays you had to grade and everything you needed to not return to class for the entire week in your hands, "Everything all right? Do you have any questions?"
"No, Professor! No worries," Enid hushes to say, and Wednesday got up as well, linking her arm to Enid's, "We were just about to go. Happy Halloween!"
You were about to wish them happy Halloween as well when Wednesday cut in, "Do you have plans for Halloween, professor?"
Curious of her to ask. You liked to think you had a good teacher-student relationship, but the girl rarely seemed to care for pleasantries or chit-chat for that matter.
"Actually, I'll just stay at the academy and rest a bit. I love teaching you guys but if dealing with ordinary teenagers is already taxing, teaching extraordinary ones is a whole other level." It was true, the amount of trouble your last students could get into was only exponentiated when added to the supernatural abilities students at Nevermore possessed. It was also much more entertaining. Yes, you had to keep them safe and punish troublemakers accordingly, but you loved the thrill to discover just what mischief they had got up to again. The best one so far was when a vampire kid turned into a mist to sneak out at night and changed into their solid state while floating atop the lake.
“Mother is hosting a Halloween party. I believe she’ll only pester Principal Weems to go but you are invited,” she said in her trademark monotone. Why you didn’t entirely know.
“I think that would be a matter for your mother to decide, dear. Although I am honoured you’d like my presence, I don’t think I can simply show unexpectedly.”
“The more sane, competent women there the direr it will be for mother, I only figured you could help me avenge the inconvenience of her smothering motherly love.”
Wednesday was quite the interesting girl. You thought it did make sense she’d want some friends around to endure the celebration, and while you understood and quite shared her respect and admiration for the principal, you were touched to find she regarded you similarly.
“If I cross paths with your mother, I’ll be sure to ask her, can we leave it at that?” at the youngling’s curt nod, you saw the pair leave the room and followed behind, closing the door when you left.
You took three or four steps before listening to the click of very well-known heels. Your shoulders sank and you quickly prayed to any god that might be listening for patience.
“Hello, there, beautiful lady!” Razvan, the vampire transformation teacher stalked at you to accompany your steps.
“Good evening, teacher,” your voice was calculatedly calm. You learned your lesson on being nice to overly adorable and excitable kittens as well as their human-like form.
“I was hoping to catch you alone to ask about that coffee date I suggested last week,” he was smiling like a child on Christmas morning, waiting to open their presents, “You said you were too busy planning the homework you’d give the students for the break but now we’re all free.”
It was cute how he seemed to like you, but he just wasn’t your type. When you saw the tiny black cat at the quad a few months back you thought it was only that, a cat, which you petted and played with and fed because its appreciative meows were cute. When it turned out to be the very not-cat, very impressionable vampire transformation teacher, you wanted to smash your head into the nearest flat surface, so what if it was a stone wall?
“You see… I haven’t got around to grading their essays yet, so I’ll be busy these first few days. Maybe later this week? I’ll see if I can make time and get back to you, ok?” it was really difficult to just say no. You weren’t the most proficient at negating people even in normal circumstances; the fact that he was so clearly infatuated with you made saying no seem like kicking a puppy.
“Oh… that’s fine… I guess. What about tomorrow? Right after lunch? You can check your agenda tonight and I’ll look for you for the verdict!” with that he puffed into a bat and flew down the corridor like a drunk butterfly. Was he making little loops? You had to end this and soon, it was too cruel to keep it up and even if it’d hurt him, it was best than leading him on.
Later that day, you and Vlad sat together eating dinner. He was telling you about an interesting countermove a second year made to get a point on their opponent and you were only half-listening and humming when you thought it appropriate.
Larissa was at the other end of the table, rather uncharacteristically talking to no one and wearing a tight face as if her food tasted like lemons and green limes squished together.
“Something on your mind?” Vlad inquired, following your gaze to the headmistress, “Oh, wow, someone’s not looking forward to rest and relaxation.”
“Hm?” you looked at him and noticed he was also studying Larissa’s sour complexion “Ah, yes. She does seems really angry, doesn’t she? If I hadn’t seen it before I would almost say she’s pissed.”
“That is because she is.” He explained, taking a sip of blood before continuing, “Morticia Addams visited earlier, and by what I hear she quite smugly questioned if Larissa would ‘finally’ bring a plus one to the Halloween Ball they host every year.”
Oh, so that was it. You’d seen Morticia’s verbal sparring with the principal before; you attributed it to their past roommate status and the complications that may arise with sharing a bedroom for three years. You had also seen the bickering and teasing on parents’ weekend, the elongated looks in yearly student reviews and all the times Wednesday’s parents had to be called in because their daughter got herself into trouble.
You knew the story of Larissa’s fancy for Gomez when they were young, but you didn’t think Morticia would still be gloating twenty years later that she got the cake.
“And is she?” you asked, looking back at her, something in your chest making you feel cold all of a sudden.
“What?”
“Is she bringing a plus one to the ball?”
Vlad examined you with those piercing dead eyes of his, knowing all too well why you asked, but respecting your wishes not to mention it.
“I don’t know. Haven’t heard anything yet. The closest person she had recently turned out to be a fanatic serial killer who tried to murder her.”
“Laurel, right? The one before me?” you were the second attempt at a normie teacher in Nevermore. You liked to think you were doing well, but few things could be worse than trying to destroy the school and everyone in it, so you couldn’t be always sure.
Vlad only nodded and went back to his drink while you lingered on Larissa’s face, then her hands, barely moving to pick at something on her plate.
The first day of break came as a welcomed cup of hot chocolate on a winter morning. It was chilly outside; some yellowed and orange leaves were stuck on your window with the early humidity. The corridor outside was so silent it felt almost eerie and gut-clenching. But you knew it could only mean one thing: freedom. Freedom from classes and teenager angst, freedom from having to get up and face the world. You could just get back to sleep if you so wished and boy that was quite something.
But you didn’t. In truth, the fact you knew most teachers would do exactly that, spurt you on to get out of bed and enjoy the entire campus at your disposal.
The kitchen was first. You made coffee with just this side of too much cream and stole waffles someone had made and left at the table. Then you went to the library and spent some hours in the lounge, readying cheesy romance and enjoying the sunlight coming through the big arched windows.
It was bliss, although short-lived. From the corner of your eye, you saw a small black cat silently but confidently making its way to you. The man shifted with a practised puff, almost like a magician popping into the stage from a cloud of smoke.
“Good morning, professor. I see you decided to venture around the school instead of having extra hours of beauty sleep. Not that you would need, of course,” he shifted excitedly beside you. You couldn’t mask the regretfulness on your face upon looking at him, and he realized it, mistaking your meaning and quickly adding, “Don’t worry! I’m not here to talk about our date. I said after lunch, and I’ll stand by my word. I just wanted to pop in and say good morning.”
“Oh... No problem Razvan, I’ll have my response by then, and good morning to you too. Have you been enjoying the time off so far?”
He seemed to brighten at your question, and although you were happy you could converse on something else than the blessed date, you were also fretful he would think too much of it.
In the end, he had something to do in Jericho and had to leave just a few minutes later, which you were grateful for. He was perfectly pleasant and even fun to be around but his lovesick eyes made your head pound in second-hand embarrassment.
At lunch, you and Vlad got together again at the gazebo in the woods. He slept through the morning, enjoying having the excuse to shift back onto his nightly routines, but not willing to fully shift or else he’d suffer to go back when classes started again.
“You will not believe what I’ve agreed to yesterday,” he told you in a voice that very much spelt migraine alert.
“Oh, Vladdy, break just started and you’ve already got yourself in trouble?” you teased, biting on your sandwich.
“I’ve got myself in trouble?” he asked, in an undignified tone “I’ll have you know that the person that got me ‘into trouble’ is your beloved Larissa Weems!” he pointed at your chest with an arched brow.
You looked around for anyone that might have heard him, no one was there.
“Hey, Vlad you know you can’t say that! What if someone tells her? I’d be out the door in no time, you know she’s especially strict with me!”
He just tsked and shook his head, “You are such an oblivious young girl, she couldn’t care less about you breaking rules. Besides, fancying your boss is not against any and Larissa’s just looking out for you because the parents pressure her into being careful after what happened.”
You knew Vlad had good intentions telling you this, but he wasn’t called every week, sometimes two times per week, to justify a comment or action some student or staff thought deserved attention.
Of course, she was always patient and never inquired too deeply into every situation but her cold demeanour told you everything you needed to know: she didn’t like you either, she just needed someone to show off when outreach between normies and outcasts was mentioned and you happened to be an overqualified and very capable chemist.
“But anyway, this is about me,” he continued, “and what I’ve agreed to is to pretend to be Larissa’s boyfriend at the Addams' Halloween Party.”
You were sure your jaw was on the floor. How had that happened? You knew Vlad and Larissa were friends for quite some time and very close for that matter, but pretending to date was just... another thing entirely.
“How are you going to do that?” you packed the rest of your sandwich, suddenly not hungry anymore, “Won’t they know you aren’t an item? I mean you know Morticia, and she knows you’re very good friends... To just start dating out of nowhere isn’t a bit suspicious?”
“She just really needs to give it to Morticia,” Vlad shrugs, a sorry half-smile in his mouth, “She asked me to her office yesterday night to drink. She was very upset by Morticia’s appearance and mean suggestion that Riss didn’t have a partner-“
“Of course she wouldn’t,” you interrupted, “She’s too busy being a badass successful woman at the head of a god-blessed academy!”
“Yes, yes, keep it in your pants,” he rolled his eyes fondly at you, “But she was breaking my dead heart and I suggested accompanying her. And first, she said it wouldn’t be the same, because we would go as friends and only confirm it to Morticia that Larissa was still alone. So I proposed we pretend to be a pair,” he seemed equal parts rather proud of himself and loathing his genius idea.
“I think it’s sweet of you. But I don’t think it’s going to work,” you said, not wanting to make him feel even worse, but enable to shake the feeling this was doomed to fail.
“Yes, I think you’re-“
“Professor!” a voice interrupted your friend’s comment and Razvan ran towards you, “I finally found you! I was looking for you to ask when we’re getting that coffee. I trust now you have my answer, correct?”
You were so full of this situation. Full of uncomfortable awkwardness, guilt and shame for playing with your colleague’s feelings, even if your intentions were benign. You had to tell him no, to say you didn’t like him that way. That he was too adorable and nice and you could never see him in that light.
“Oh, yes... about that, Raz...” you started, no idea of what you’d say next, “I’m sorry if I gave you the impression we could be more than colleagues and friends... but I’m-“
“In a relationship,” Vlad supplied.
“What?!” you and Razvan yelled in unison.
“C’mon, darling, it was bound to get out one time or another,” he kept going, the madman, “I know you’re worried about what people may think of her for it, but I swear Larissa is dying to go public.”
His maniac grin at your shell-shocked expression made you want to squeeze his neck until you heard it pop. It wouldn’t do much for him, but it would certainly be satisfying to you.
“Y-you and Principal Weems are together?!” the teacher was turning beet read and you had to give it to Vlad that it was a funny situation at least, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know! And of course, I understand why you wouldn’t want to tell me you were taken, that’s completely not my business... Oh my, I’m so sorry!” and with that he rapidly walked away, just shy of outright running.
“You little shit!” you exclaimed as soon as the other vampire was out of earshot, “What in the absolute heavens were you thinking?”
He was shaking with laughter while you punched his shoulder, which only made him go on a bit more before finally calming enough to talk, “You’re right,” he said, as if it explained everything, “I and Larissa aren’t a believable couple. But you and she are a pair one could easily sell.”
“What are you talking about?” you ran your hand through your face in exasperation. He was out of his mind, and now you were screwed if Razvan said anything to anyone.
“You’re here only a year. Morticia doesn’t know you and Larissa is comfortable enough around you to pretend to be with you. It might be even easier than with me because kissing someone after twenty years of friendship is admittedly awkward,” he reasons.
“Kissing some-? What are you even on about? I can’t pretend to be in love with her, you know I can’t! I’ll just make a fool of myself and let something slip.”
“Nonsense, girl. Let’s go, we need to tell Larissa about the change of plans,” he got up and held out his hand to you “And if she says no, we already told someone, so she’ll have to go with it.”
Chapter Two
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starchaserdreams · 4 months
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My fics on AO3
Alright, so I deleted my AO3 account a few months ago (thinking I was done with this) and orphaned all of my works. Well, now I deeply regret that. But I have collected as many of them as I could find here for anyone who's interested.
Jegulus/Starchaser
Temptation Eyes (New!) - My Jegulus Regency AU. Completed, being posted one chapter twice a week. James enters the London season hoping to find a wife. What he finds instead is Regulus Black, and he never looks back. But as implied by the era, it won't be easy for them. Background wolfstar, shown as a different approach to a queer relationship in the regency era.
Get Regulus Out - 82k, Rated M, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Working Through Trauma, No War/Riddle AU, background Wolfstar, background Marylily. James tries to convince Regulus to leave Grimmauld Place as Sirius once did, and save himself from his parents.
How to Spot Signs of Jealousy - 4k, fake/pretend relationship, mutual pining, miscommunication. After Regulus gets fed up with people asking him out because of his family name, he and Barty agree to fake date. For some reason, James Potter seems livid...and Regulus can only guess that it's because he's homophobic. That's got to be it, right?
But Where's Regulus - 1k. James on laughing gas after getting his wisdom teeth taken out and talking about how much he likes Regulus
Waking Up Slowly - 2k. James wakes up in bed with Regulus in the Gryffindor dorm, something Sirius might not take kindly to.
I've Read Your Book - 1k. Two one shots based on the same premise: Writer!James didn't even know Regulus knew about his book, let alone had read it, but Regulus comes up to him and says "I've read your book" aka the most exciting words of all time to start a conversation for a writer.
Little Ball of Fire - 1k. Regulus gets into an argument with Snape. Regulus begins threatening him, so James picks Regulus up and carries/drags him out of the room before anyone gets hurt.
Prongsfoot/Bambibelle
What's in a Name - 5k, Soulmates AU, secret crush. In a world where soulmates exist and can identify each other by the feeling they get when they say each other's names, it's pretty easy to identify who your soulmate is. But for Sirius and James who only call each other by their nicknames, it takes a while to finally know.
The Bachelorette - 15k, mutual pining, Bachelorette AU. Sirius and James are both cast as contestants on the Bachelorette. Although their stated goal was to woo Lily and capture her heart, they don’t quite manage it. They fall for each other instead.
A Real Marriage Under Wizarding Law - 6k, mutual pining, fake/pretend relationship, drunken shenanigans. Sirius and James get a quickie drunken marriage in Knockturn Alley. When they wake up in the morning, they decide not to get it annulled so that they can save Sirius from an arranged marriage.
The Only Transfer Students to Ever Come to Hogwarts - 9k, arranged marriage, hijinx, angst with a happy ending. Sirius is upset to learn that not only does he have to transfer to a new school, but his parents have set up an arranged marriage for him. James assures him that's impossible, but Sirius knows his parents don't make empty threats. (Written for Prongsfoot Bingo)
The Smell of Water - 4k, Amortentia, idiots in love. Sirius and James argue about what they're smelling without realizing that there's Amortentia in the room. When Sirius realizes, he becomes a whole mess about it. (Written for Prongsfoot Bingo)
Wolfstar
Wolfstar Microfics Theme: Love - 8k, a collection of 22 microfics themed around love
6x James Found Out, and 1x Harry Did - 10k. Six ways James could have learned about Sirius and Remus' secret relationship, and one way Harry could have learned about it. *This is specifically ATYD fanfiction, and it's set in that universe.
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earlgreyinpajamas · 11 months
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Any more love spell or fake dating fic recs for merthur? :)
love spell
Kiss Me Now (Kiss Me Forever) by pendragonally (@pendragon-ally)
When is a love spell not a love spell? When it’s just Arthur trying (and failing) to express his feelings— not that Merlin knows this, of course. Figuring it out leads to more than one revelation.
~~~
technically not a love spell fic, but also,, like merlin i was also firmly on the oh yeah he's enchanted camp dhfadjlhk so im counting it
2. Book Of Love by messandahalf (@messandahalf10)
Arthur has just lifted the ban on magic, and despite having Merlin around to answer his questions, he decides to try to do some research on his own. Books on magic are scarce in the castle, so he digs around in the library alone one night. What he ends up reading has some… interesting consequences.
~~~
love spell makes arthur obsess over his true love. hmmm wonder who that is
3. Call It True Love by orphan_account
Arthur falls under the effects of a love potion. Merlin has a headache.
~~~
adfhjkhfd poor lancelot
fake relationship
I Want Love, I Want Us, I Want Peace by InkThroughHerVeins (@ink-through-her-veins)
The Queens of Albion throw a ball every year for noble families to introduce their eligible sons and daughters. Except Camelot doesn’t officially have a queen. So, Arthur makes Merlin help with the planning.
Written for Merthur Week 2022. Each chapter uses one day’s prompts.
~~~
merlin being queen before even being queen!!!
2. For You, For Me by Camelots_Daffodil (@camelots-daffodil)
Merlin and Arthur are taken captive by a slaver with slightly deranged tendencies, and in order to save Merlin's life, Arthur claims that he is his consort. Their captor decides he wants to test the strength of Arthur's love for his supposed consort.
Written for Merlin Bingo 2022: Misunderstandings
~~~
fake relationship for a cause!!
3. Charting Stars On A Stained Glass Ceiling by mornmeril (@mornmeril)
Merlin leads a relatively content life - or as content as is possible under the rule of a magic-hating King. When the arrogant son of said magic-hating King starts becoming a regular at his coffee shop, Merlin is a little puzzled. When said Prince prat then proceeds to ingest a love potion on Merlin's watch that results in him having to move into the Royal Palace as Prince Arthur's (fake) boyfriend, Merlin wonders which deity he has angered. Things only get more complicated from there.
“Welcome to The Drip and Grind, what can I get for you?" “The same thing I always have,” Prince Arthur says, sounding vaguely disdainful and unbearably posh. “One would think you’d remember my order by now." Merlin scowls. He remembers His Haughtiness’ order perfectly well, but sees no reason to inflate an already unbearably large ego. “You’re not my only customer,” Merlin keeps his voice coolly polite; barely. “You realise that’s not the proper way to address me?” And is that a smirk at the corner of the stupid prat’s, stupidly gorgeous mouth? “Apologies, your High-and-Mightiness. Now do you think you can tell me your order or must I divine it from my crystal ball?”
~~~
excellent, spectacular, life changing, loml
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pollyna · 1 year
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au in which Mav and Ice start a fake relationship because of reasons and never stop dating. It should have been a thing of a weekend, but they got home and just went on as if the weekend was never over. It literally takes them a year, 365 days, and Hollywood remarking their anniversary must be close to make them realise what's happening.
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wangxianficrecs · 4 months
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The Architecture of Heartbreaks by tigersugargirl
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The Architecture of Heartbreaks
by tigersugargirl
T, WIP, 5k, Wangxian
Summary: In the span of days, the foundations of Wei Wuxian's bright, idyllic life crumbles : His aunt discovers that he's dating a boy and disowns him for shaming the conservative Jiang family, and he finds out that Lan Wangji, the guy he's dating, has only been dating him as part of a bet. Left adrift, Wei Wuxian nevertheless tries to slowly rebuild his life, with the help of his friends and the kindly Uncle who shares his love for historical buildings. It's nothing grand, but he thinks he's on his way to building a small, warm home for himself in the world. But when Lan Wangji is finally forced to face his feelings for Wei Wuxian and comes knocking on that painstakingly built home, will Wei Wuxian let him back in? Kay's comments: This story hasn't been updated in a hot minute, but it shouldn't deter you from reading it. I already love the story it tells. In which, Wei Wuxian's life falls apart in one day. He gets kicked out by Madam Yu after it came out that he dated Lan Zhan and it's also revealed that Lan Zhan apparently only dated him as part of a bet. However, there are still people who have Wei Wuxian's back. Chief among them He Su (and I love, love, love it when he appears in stories, he's a chronically forgotten character) and Lan Qiren (who doesn't know that the guy who broke Wei Wuxian's heart is his nephew rip). Excerpt: And three months ago, Lan Wangji told him he loved him, and Wei Wuxian had thought that like that, his life was just perfect. Now, three months later, Wei Wuxian is chased out of his own home - Someone had seen him with Lan Zhan and told Madam Yu, and he is given barely an hour to pack his things. A bad influence, she screams. An immoral wretch like you, just like your mother. Now, three months later, Wei Wuxian stands in the middle of a room of laughing, drunken people as Meng Yao calmly, almost sweetly, congratulates a drunken Lan Zhan for upholding the end of his bet for three months : Dating the campus flirt Wei Wuxian. Now, three months later, the foundations of Wei Wuxian's life cracks and crumbles - spider-like cracks creeping through the walls of his heart, shattering his windows and buckling his columns. He runs past laughing, jeering people, through the open doors, and doesn't look back.
pov alternating, modern setting, modern no powers, homophobia, college/university, fake/pretend relationship, break up, implied/referenced abuse, rich lan wangji, student lan wangji, student wei wuxian, volunteer wei wuxian, families of choice, good uncle lan qiren, healing
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~*~
(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)
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aziraphales-library · 5 months
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Hi! I hope y’all are having a good day! I’ve been looking for a fic that I’ve read a couple times but now I can’t find at all. It was about Aziraphale taking a more feminine shape and wanting to buy her bookshop but was having trouble because the dude selling it was being sexist and had Crowley come in and help her intimidate the guy into selling it to her. I remember it was either mature or explicit and was a historical au I think Victorian era. I’m starting to think it got deleted but I thought I’d check here anyways. Thanks!
Hello. Could this be...
An Arrangement of Convenience by Blue_Sparkle (E)
Aziraphale works to purchase a bookshop space, but currently being a woman-shaped creature has its drawbacks when faced with rude property owners. The most obvious solution is to get Crowley to act as his husband and deal with all that nonsense, of course.
- Mod D
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Only Pretending #6
Word count: 3.5k Author's note: sooo, I've decided that until I'm shadowbanned, I'll be posting this series here! I'll still reblog the chapters so it is on my primary blog. I won't be able to reply to comments still (as this is a secondary blog), but know that I sincerely appreciate every single note you people leave, so thank you so much in advance, you are so beautiful!
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If pressed, you wouldn’t be able to tell how long you spent kissing that night. Wouldn’t be able to remember when you straddled her lap, holding on for however long you could.
Larissa’s hands were the gentlest torturers you’d ever known, softly but surely going from caressing your face to gripping your neck and ending up on your hips, pressing you closer with a desperate feel to it.
You could not remember the last time you were so thoroughly studied. Maybe never. There was no part of you her hands did not travel through and for the first time, you cursed your fuzzy pyjamas. What wouldn’t you have given to feel her fingers grip your thighs without any barrier between you? It was a curse but also a blessing. If you had felt cold fingers on your heated skin, you might not have had the strength to stop it.
Larissa was following a clear path. She had a goal, and it was undeniably thrilling to know she wanted you, but you were both intoxicated by more than one another. This was not a pure desire-driven endeavour; you were drunk and while your feelings and want were very clear to you, you could not know of Larissa’s. Hell, only yesterday she had asked you to be her friend. You could very well be the available option.
When you felt her hand skirting dangerously up your thigh, you mentally kicked yourself and put your hand over hers.
You separated for just a fraction, looking her in the eyes. They were heavy-lidded and you could see more than just a simple adjustment to lighting on her wide pupils. It killed you to know what your next words were when she looked so incredible, still towering over you even when you were on her lap.
“Larissa…” you whispered, and she chased your lips, stealing a brief kiss before you had the strength to part again, “I know this is frustrating, and you might hate me or thank me tomorrow, but I’d prefer having the knowledge that you were completely clear minded before choosing to go down this route with me.”
“Why are you so concerned about me all the time, it should be me who’s saying this,” she sounded defeated, dumping her head on your shoulder for the second time that evening.
You brought your hands to her nape and started to gently scratch her scalp.
“You’re concerned with everyone around you all the time.” You smiled. “Only fair that someone does the same to you.”
Her arms circled your waist, and she buried her nose in your neck. You kissed the tip of her ear and nudged her up to face you again. You felt a satisfying surge of pride seeing her small affectionate smile, and had to kiss it one more time, just as affectionately.
Getting up and turning to lie on the bed, you pulled her with you so she would be the one on top. You went down kissing, smiling, and chuckling once when she pressed her thigh between your legs a little too much and made you groan.
“Tomorrow, we discuss it, ok?” you breathed in the now darkened room and felt Larissa nod against your chest.
“Good night, y/n,” she whispered.
“Good night, Larissa.”
You woke up alone the next morning. Sunlight was coming through the half-opened deep-red curtains, warming a line up your jaw and burning your ear. Larissa must have woken with it in her eyes.
You got up and dragged yourself to the bathroom. Larissa was probably downstairs, which shouldn’t bother you, but you thought you would talk first thing in the morning and the fact that she preferred being in Morticia’s company instead of waking you to accompany her was nauseating. Maybe she was sparing you the bother of putting up with the woman and you were just worrying unnecessarily.
Taking your time to get ready and dress, you left the bedroom almost forty minutes later.
Upon stepping into the main hall, you were surprised by the large front doors opening abruptly. Through them, a squealing Enid ran inside, dropping two travel bags by the stairs and returning just as quickly to hug an unimpressed Wednesday, walking calmly inside (though the slight quiver on the side of her mouth hinted at her true feelings).
“I can’t believe I’m finally here! Stop with the pout, Addams! Your brooding days are over, time to enjoy the holiday!”
Wednesday rolled her eyes in your direction, still in Enid’s arms, as if she could convince you she wasn’t happy her girlfriend had arrived. As if it wasn’t all she talked about at dinner last night on the rare occasions she bothered to make a comment.
“Professor!” you were next in the queue of hugs, and Enid’s joyful skips towards you managed to soothe the minor discomfort that Larissa’s absence had caused. “I’m so happy that you’re here,” she whispered timidly and quite adorably, “I didn’t talk with my parents yet. I’ll do it in person, but I wanted to thank you again for our talk.”
“Of course, dear,” you tightened your arms around her, “And I’ll be here no matter their reaction if you want to talk again, ok? We can go to the Weathervane or the park, whatever you’d like.”
You separated and she smiled sweetly at you. You knew it was young love, but you wished they’d work out because looking at them, you could think of no one else who would protect Enid as fiercely as Wednesday and not a single soul that would keep Wednesday in check as Enid did. They were such an adorable pair you almost felt jealous.
“Rissa?” Morticia’s voice sounded again, a bit louder, snapping Larissa out of her reverie.
“Yes?”
“If you’ve finished eating, I’ll summon Lurch to clear the table for you.” She gestured while seating in one of the garden chairs around said table.
“No, I’ll wait for y/n, thank you. I think she’d like to have breakfast in the garden,” she smiled, remembering your idea of what your first date would have been like. She didn’t know much about you from these last few days, but she was certain you’d appreciate the fresh air and Morticia’s deadly plants.
“You know, I don’t understand what you think you’re doing,” the woman replied, rushing through the words in an uncommon manner.
“Whatever do you mean, Morticia?”
“Oh, don’t roll your eyes at me! I can see clearly what’s happening here!” she sounded impatient, which wasn’t unheard of, but she rarely showed it to anyone; that’s how Larissa knew they were alone, she got used to that secret side of the woman twenty years ago.
Masking her discomfort with a long-since practised smile, Larissa tidied the spread while choosing her words.
“And what do you think that would be?”
Larissa heard a snort, “You’re being used! You always had a soft spot for the unremarkable and that is a very generous quality of yours. I admire it, truly, but it’s the third time around, amore, and this will end up badly.”
“What?! Careful with your lies, Morticia, they’re getting bigger and bigger, and someday they’ll lodge in your throat,” Larissa was shocked by her own reaction. She thought she’d mastered how to maintain the higher ground around Morticia, but clearly, she was mistaken; at least when it was about you, apparently. “Be honest, you can’t care less about how this will end. You didn’t care the first time, why would you now?”
At that, her old roommate stilled.
“I didn’t know about her, and you know it very well,” her tone was dangerously controlled, she was looking ahead with her jaw set and from time to time her eye twitched, “When I heard the news, Gomez didn’t even have to finish sparring, I just ran to the car.” With a deep breath, Morticia turned to face Larissa, eyes sparkling and nose flaring. “You are an intelligent woman, Larissa; we both know that. So, you must have noticed the recurrent theme of charming young ladies trying to use you for their own purposes.”
“Don’t forget to include yourself on the list,” Larissa’s tone was colder than she’d expected, but Morticia’s uncharacteristic avoidance of her gaze was an exquisite treat.
Without another word, the woman stood up and walked back through the path from where she came.
The previous night, you attributed the mansion’s imposing aura to the melting of its high towery roof against the darkening of the skies that created a strange sense of elongated walls. However, through the morning sunlit corridors, the high ceilings and medieval-like decorations didn’t alleviate you of the notion in any way. You could swear one of the rooms you passed through had an actual medieval torture device.
When you started walking down the rock path, Morticia appeared from around tall white oleander bushes, looking sour, and even though her sweet smiles had been mostly false until that moment, you preferred them. Whatever happened to her, you prayed you didn’t have to know.
Upon seeing, though, her face morphed back into “alluring menace mode”.
“Good morning, my dear. Did you sleep well?” she said in a slightly hoarser version of her baritone, coming right up to you and standing close.
“Yeah, you have very good beds,” you smirked, “they barely make a sound.”
The twitch of annoyance in the corner of her lip gave away her feelings, and her expression changed again in a matter of seconds, brows knitting together and downward lips.
“Oh, did something happen in the morning then?”
“What do you mean?” what was she talking about?
“I’ve just spoken with Rissa, and she seemed very pissy about something, could barely talk to her for a minute…” you knew you shouldn’t trust her concerned tone, the glint in her eye had amusement written all over it.
So, Larissa wasn’t in bed because she was angry? Or she regretted your actions last night and seeing the person whom she started this all for irritated her? If she hadn’t wanted to prove Morticia wrong, nothing would have happened. No cuddling on the sofa, no trips and highroad hugs, and definitely no kissing like mad until you fell asleep.
She placed her hand on your shoulder and murmured, “I’d say to approach carefully, you never know when she has a temper.” before parting with her usual saunter.
So much for hope, in the end. You could only be grateful for the chance at knowing what it could be like to be… you didn’t want to finish the thought, even that felt tainted by Larissa’s repentance.
Turning where Morticia came from, you saw a few meters ahead a beautiful black iron garden table with matching chairs. Larissa’s shoulders hung softly. She didn’t look tense from her back, more contemplating with her fingers absentmindedly tracing the rim of a teacup.
You approached slowly, and when you were in front of her, she didn’t look near throwing you the cup. Unsurprisingly, Morticia was fond of hyperboles.
“Before you say anything, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. It was a mistake, it’s ok…” you felt your throat tight and breathed slowly in to control your emotions before continuing, “We were both drunk, and I’m happy we stopped because if not this conversation would have been a lot more awful than it already is to have. I won’t say a thing to anyone, and I won’t ask anything of you, as well, don’t worry. We can just pretend it never happened.”
Larissa’s confused expression didn’t last long. You could point out the moment she stopped being Larissa and became principal Weems in front of you. Her unguarded posture swiftly shifted to the picture of a professional stance, her face was neutral and her voice calculatedly suave.
“Of course. I’m glad that we cleared it out, I’d hate for it to be a source of miscomprehension between us,” she smiled, “Good thing that we both feel the same and can act as adults about it.”
You only nodded, too stunned to muster a response.
“Well,” she got up and gestured to the overstocked table between you, “I thought you’d enjoy breakfast in the garden. You did seem rather fond of picnics if I recall,” she ended with a breath. If you knew any better, you’d say she sounded wounded before she circled you walked away.
As soon as her towering figure was out of sight, which you knew because you watched her go without so much as blinking, you let all the air you’d been holding out, finishing with the mixture of a broken whimper and a sob. Now you knew, undeniably, that your feelings weren’t reciprocated. You felt so drained you couldn’t even cry; you simply fell into the closest chair and ignored the food by your side until someone came to get it.
When Morticia saw Larissa’s face coming from the garden, she concluded her little deception had worked.
More guests arrived in the afternoon. A lot of them very eccentric and intriguing. There was one particular guest you found very charming. Wednesday introduced him to you as Cousin Itt; apparently, he also attended Nevermore years back and was a consistent winner in debates.
“I and Pugsley facilitated his marriage years ago,” Wednesday said curiously by your side, a sinister smile indicating her rare amusement, “It was good fun to dispose of Cousin Margaret’s late husband.”
“Whatever do you mean by that?!”
She only smiled a bit more and stalked away to join Enid at the garden.
Larissa was missing for the greater part of the day. After lunch, which was stilted and awkward, only balanced by Enid and Gomez lively debating Wednesday’s adventures in the previous year, she left for who knows where and only appeared in your bedroom closely before the party was scheduled to start.
You knew you still were trying to deceive Morticia, and by her comment that morning she did seem to believe you were together, but now you didn’t know if Larissa wanted to continue with the plan; she looked so tired.
“Do you think we should talk about it?” you asked when she left the bathroom in one of the fluffy robes.
“Talk about what?” her tone was clipped.
You really wanted to maintain the illusion of being an adult, but it was so difficult with her displeased principal face. You felt like a child politely scolded for your bad behaviour. Your shoulders hurt and your chest ached; spending one afternoon away from her, not knowing what was going through her head was torture. You wondered how you’d survive the rest of the year now, if it would all fade away or if the dull aching would be a consistent reminder of all you wanted and could not have every time you walked by her or were called to her office.
It was Larissa who talked fist, prompting you out of your misery with an exasperated voice.
“Fine!” she snapped, “You want to talk about it? Let’s do that. Where do you want to start from? The part where I-“ she cut herself, looking at you with ill-concealed rage and… betrayal? What? “You know what? You start… this was your idea, to begin with,” she ended in a much quieter tone, rummaging through her belongings and producing a wine bottle before dropping into one of the armchairs by the unlit fireplace.
“You brought wine?!”
She was silent for a few moments before speaking, “I thought we could share it the first night, but you were already drunk and I was tired so I didn’t even remember it,” she sounded defeated, and the emotional rollercoaster of feelings this trip was putting you through was starting to exhaust you. You wanted just that. Simple things. Sharing wine and giggling about fooling her old roommate, being friends and not worrying about screwing everything up all the time.
“Can I have some?” you approached and seated in the chair in front of her.
“We don’t have glasses.”
“Do you really mind sharing a bottle? I mean, we did worse than that already…” you winced at the comment, but when she huffed and smiled you felt almost overwhelmed with relief and fondness.
She unscrewed the bottle and took a swing before passing it over. It occurred to you it wasn’t even the first time you drank from the same place. Last night you shared your last glass you whisky without even thinking about it.
You gulped down a healthy amount and were surprised by the sweet smoothness of it. It was the same you shared the first time you went to her office. She smiled again when your eyebrows shot up and you took another sip, savouring it this time and not just swallowing for the sake of liquid courage. You didn’t know quite what to say at the sweet gesture.
“How about we start with the reason you disappeared on me the entire day,” you prompted, gently, passing her the bottle.
She huffed a laugh again, but it was bitterer this time around. “I think you know why that was.”
“I really don’t,” you were speaking quietly, as if it was any louder something would shatter, “I can guess, but I’d prefer knowing. Not knowing things have already caused enough commotion between us, don’t you think?”
“Ha, I wonder how we’ll ever work together again after this,” she didn’t take the time to appreciate the drink, downing an amount that had her throat moving slowly to manage it.
“I think you should stop with that for now…” you took the bottle and set it on the floor. She did have a different system than you, but it was starting to feel like too much too soon.
“I don’t usually… I have been drinking much more than normal the last few days,” she confessed, her eyebrows kitting softly.
“It’s ok, I just think we’re always out of sorts before having honest conversations. The time in the car was the healthiest discussion we ever had, and it took us very high amounts of stress to even start talking.”
“You are correct, once again.”
“Again?”
“You said before that it was a mistake,” her voice was just above a whisper.
“And you agreed… with me.”
“Do you really believe that?” she huffed again, “You must know by now how I feel, you’re just too kind to tell me it is one-sided. Stop trying to protect my feelings, I’m more than a decade older than you.”
You were a bit oblivious sometimes, but you couldn’t misinterpret what she was saying, however, you could not believe it either.
“What do you mean, Larissa? Please don’t say things you don’t mean thinking it will make me feel better.”
She hid her face in her hands with a deep breath. Her hair was wet from the shower and even looking cosy and casual in her robe, all you could see in Larissa was tense exasperation.
“Who stopped us yesterday?” she murmured, dropping her hands, eyes almost boring holes in yours with her piercing determination, “Who came to me this morning offering me an out, implying we both made a mistake and not only me?”
“I thought you were…” you started saying, but she cut in.
“You thought I was what? Not interested after kissing myself molten in your arms? That I regretted while waiting for us to eat together in the garden? What did you think, y/n? Enlighten me because it really is a mystery to me what passes through your head.”
You were stunned into silence by her small outburst. She really was incomparable when her eyes lit up like that when the persona of masterly disguised feelings was put aside, and the real Larissa appeared.
“M-Morticia told me you were mad… in the garden before I met you,” you breathed, “I thought you snapped at her because she was the reason we’re doing this in the first place.”
At that, Larissa got up, you were still dazed to accompany her movements, but you felt her hands on your shoulders and suddenly she was kneeling in front of you.
“This is just a guess, but don’t you think Morticia would love nothing more than to ruin whatever it is we have since it’s exactly what she’s been trying to do since we got here?” you could very well drown on those resplendent blue eyes, clear as the Weddell Sea with emotion, “It would be laughable if we were actually together, let’s be honest, her methods are ‘petty teenager’ level, but I think we are so deep into our heads we’re falling for them just like a pair of teenaged fools.” Her hand came to caress your cheek, and you weren’t sure you were being played or if this was really happening, but you couldn’t think of any words, even less muster a sentence to agree with her, so you just had to pathetically wait for Larissa to fix everything by herself. She didn’t seem to mind so much, with a small smile and drawn eyebrows.
“Did you really regret it?” she whispered, looking almost vulnerable if it weren’t for her resolve to soothe your insecurities, “Or would you say something different if Morticia hadn’t found you before me?”
“You were all I could think about…” you covered her hand on your cheek, “I just wanted to be sure your feelings wouldn’t change…”
“They didn’t,” she said simply and leaned in to kiss you.
Tag list: @anti-bright-places, @the-bagel24, @regalbootie, @tundra1029, @thoroughly-confused, @lilsmeaux, @poorwritingandstalecoffee, @alder-saan, @jelly-frogss, @enchantressb, @imean-its-just-me, @lvinhs, @iloveyall-18, @kimiinou, @jeweleegrey (why won't your names tag? What am I doing wrong?)
Chapter Seven
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strawberryspence · 2 months
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i have never loved anyone as i have loved you... i say as i hold fake/pretend dating trope gently in my arms.
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phantomstatistician · 5 months
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Tag: Fake/Pretend Relationship
Sample Size: 13,085 stories
Source: AO3
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steddieficrec · 1 year
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throw your dice (take your chance) by theamazingbard
(7/7 I 26,819 I Teen I Steddie)
“I mean, what if I never find someone? People like… like me. I’ve never seen it end well.”   “Well, the first step is probably hanging out with someone other than your friend, right? Meet new people?”
Will frowns. “But you still hang out with him. How’re you supposed to get over Eddie if you’re still hanging out with him all the time?”
Steve’s eyebrows shoot upwards. "Uh. What?"
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Touched and a little confused after Will Byers came out to him, Steve decides he'll do anything in his power to make the kid feel a little less alienated. Including orchestrating a pretend relationship with Eddie Munson.
(ah yes. fake/pretend relationships, miscommunication, pining. All the good things.)
AND
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@mad-h-w says there's a podfic right here.
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wheredidhiseyebrowsgo · 7 months
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Because I can't stop myself im also going to ask if you know a sterek fic where werewolves are known, and when Scott got bitten stiles walked up to the hale house (alive hales) and lied about being his boyfriend so they could stay together because humans can only be in packs if they are tied by blood or relationship. however first day of college scott meets Allison and they have to "break up". Stiles is so upset about leaving the pack and Scott does not get it. as a no longer pack affiliated human, stiles would have to stop going to full moon events and move out from living with scott. meanwhile, the whole hale pack is devastated and trying to set Stiles up with other members. Derek has been in NY most of this time and comes home and emedially latches onto stiles. they end up living together and eventually get together. does this sound familiar?
Hi @distractedducky! @hedwig221b says it's this one.
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Don't You Worry (Stiles) by Watermelon Wolves (RogueMarieL)
(1/1 I 17,785 I Teen I Sterek)
After Scott was bitten, Stiles told a very small lie in exchange for a very huge prize -- pack membership -- and he has spent the intervening years winning every Best Fake Boyfriend award on the books. Now, however, Scott wants to be in an actual relationship, and Stiles is losing his pack. Enter Derek.
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tanith-rhea · 1 year
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Only Pretending #2
Alright, you asked and I heard! Here's Only Pretending Chapter 2
@the-bagel24 you have 24 hours!
@regalbootie, @tundra1029, @thoroughly--confused I hope you all enjoy this one just as much ^^
@anti-bright-places you didn't ask but I'm tagging you on your fanfic!
Word count: 3.9k (ooof I did not realise that before)
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“It was entirely his idea, principal. I had nothing to do with it,” you had no qualms against throwing Vlad under the bus. It was his brilliant idea and if she hated it or thought it ludicrous he should be the one reprimanded.
You were sitting in the leather chairs in front of Larissa’s table. She was at the other side, looking from you to your backstabbing friend with a calculating expression.
“And why do you think this is a better idea, coach?” she arched an eyebrow at him, they were having a small staring contest and you wished you could understand their silent conversation, but they were friends for about two-thirds of your entire life, so tough luck on that front.
“I believe,” he accentuated the word with an arched eyebrow of his own, “that since our friend here isn’t much more than acquainted with Morticia and vice-versa, she would be a better fit to fool her into believing you’re together.
“Let’s make it a thinking exercise, shall we?”
“You don’t have to speak to us as if we’re children, Vladislav” Larissa drawled, seemingly annoyed. She probably was regretting the entire charade. It hadn’t even started yet but she looked like she could not phantom any more of it.
Vlad smiled and bowed his head minutely, “I’ll be more serious, then. Forgive me,” his tone changed nothing, “But imagine: if you and I appear at the Addams Manor, hand in hand saying we decided to, after twenty years, take a step further and pair off, what would they think? After so long not wanting anything similar and giving others no indication of a potential flame?”
“Flame? Vlad your centuries are showing,” you snorted, trying not to laugh, and could see the glint of humour in Larissa’s eyes as well upon seeing your predicament.
“Shut up, child!” he hissed, but you knew he could take a teasing, “As I was saying… on the other hand, if you appear with a new teacher, young, charming and professionally accomplished, the chances of people believing rise exponentially. You are simply fitter for each other than you think, and other people would agree, thus making it easily believable,” he finished with crossed legs and both hands atop his knee as if delivering the god’s law.
Larissa had a bothered expression on her face again, but she was mulling it over, you could tell. Vlad’s words seemed more as if he was trying to convince you to go on a blind date than to just pretend to be a couple. You had to give it to him, but you also wanted to punch him in the face for painting pictures in your head.
“I admit you have a point,” Larissa conceded in a soft voice, “But you shouldn’t have dragged another co-worker into this without their consent, Vlad, and that is highly unprofessional and disappointing of you.”
Vlad was easily a hundred and fifty years older than her and she still could pull off talking to him like a disappointed mother while making him actually listen and even agree with her fond chiding. You were in awe of her, and nothing would ever change that.
“However, if Razvan is also involved in this and presuming he couldn’t keep it to himself, more people know. Which I’m regretful to acknowledge is a good starting point for our little fabrication to seem real,” at that, she looked at you with a questioning look. You were sure if you said no, she would immediately ask someone to clarify the rumours and wipe away any trace the idea of you two together might have made. You loved her a little for being committed to everyone’s well-being to that level.
“It is,” you stated, looking at your lap for a brief moment before returning her gaze, “And I wouldn’t mind playing the part. I was mad at Vlad for doing it without your consent, you decided on any of this as much as I did, but if you’re ok with it, I can say I am too.”
That was very eloquent. You mentally patted yourself on the back for not mumbling, squeaking, stuttering or doing any of the things fitting of your panicked and excited state. Larissa smiled at you with what seemed to be… relief? Did she actually think you would say no? And loose on the chance to pretend to be hers? As if.
“I’m happy you’re amenable to that. If we’re being honest it would be rather more credible for me to be with a woman, and although Vlad should have asked you first,” at that, she gave him a severe look, “I can’t say I’m disappointed with the results.”
You were a single praise away off screaming like a schoolgirl with a crush, but Larissa only gestured for Vlad to leave, saying thank you and don’t ever do that again before the door clicked shut.
“So,” she started again, you weren’t saying much but, in your defence, it was out of fear of ending up impersonating an overwhelmingly happy quokka, “I think we should meet a few nights to discuss how we’ll be doing this. We leave in a week’s time, on the 30­­th­, so maybe two times before that we could plan for general questions and get to know one another a bit. I’m so sorry this is how you’ll spend some of the time you should be off work but I promise to compensate you for it.”
“No, it’s no problem at all!” you hurried out, “I would just spend it here anyway. This way I’ll go to an Addams’ party,” you shrugged, smiling. Yes, the Addams’ party which wasn’t even near as delightful as spending time with Larissa; that was the good part, of course.
“In any case…” Larissa looked away as if embarrassed, “This situation is far from adequate, and my motives aren’t the most selfless, so I’m very sorry you got caught up in all of this. Even if you say you don’t mind.
“I am aware you don’t feel the most at ease when I’m present and I wish I could fix that, but at least know that I don’t want you to do this thinking I’ll hold it against you if you don’t or out of feeling intimidated, or whatever reason you might have,” she seemed deadly serious, and if that didn’t make you like her even more.
“It is really not a problem, as I said I don’t mind helping if you don’t mind it being me. I’m just happy I can be of use and a party full of outcasts seems like a very fun time,” you smiled fondly at her.
You loved the outcast community, they were far more accepting than the normie people from your past, the close-minded village you were raised in would spit at you on the street if they knew about your work, your beliefs and especially your sexuality. As if liking women would affect the growth of the crops or bring a storm to the town.
“Right. Then I’m very glad it is you who’ll accompany me,” she returned the smile.
“Really? Aren’t you just saying that because you have no other choice?” you said it jokingly, but your eyes searched for anything there that might betray her words. You only found an amused smirk and a playful eyebrow.
“Oh, absolutely. I can never stand being near someone beautiful and funny, they steal all of my attention, and I can’t get anything done.”
You felt your cheeks burn. You asked for it, but the teasing was a bit more than you could take. Damned stunning blondes and their ability to make a mess out of you!
“So, what do you think about we meet the night after tomorrow and one before the day we go?” she cut your train of thought and you only nodded, getting up and preparing to leave.
“I’ll see you then, principal Weems,” you gave her a curt nod and went to the door.
“Ah, and y/n…” she said right before you opened the door, “Thank you for doing this. I am truly in your debt.”
If only she knew she was gifting you the thrill of a lifetime.
The brief conversation might have been the longest you’ve ever had with the principal after your interview, and far more cordial than any interaction you’ve had. When you were admitted, Larissa had a very serious tone and severely set face while questioning you on why you wanted to teach at Nevermore, your previous career, and if you had contacts at the other institutions you’ve lectured at who could vouch for you.
You remember thinking it all a bit much for some time, and then you became friends with Vlad, the fencing coach, and discovered the whole Mexican Soap Operathat was the year before you arrived.
So, you knew Larissa was reluctant to like you and you didn’t blame her for that. What did disappoint you was that after an entire year, she still kept you at arm’s length and weekly visits to discuss your interactions with students were still a thing. You didn’t even have what to talk about at these moments, she just asked how was the week and if someone caused any trouble or if you were still happy in your position. It was as if she was waiting for you to get fed up and leave at any given moment.
But leaving the principal’s office that day was different. She had been in such a vulnerable position, asking you to help her deceive an old… nemesis? It certainly looked more and more like that with every passing moment.
The next day was a blur of picking outfits, researching outcast Halloween parties and freaking out to Vlad in your ridiculous excuse of card game night.
“So I don’t buy a costume?” you place your last chip on the ten of clubs.
“No, absolutely not. This is the normie tradition. Why would a werewolf dress up as a mummy?” Vlad draws a ten of clubs and a three of hearts.
“Goddamn it, I’m horrible at this,” you give up and Vlad seems very pleased at having all your chips to himself. Two of them were dead bets and the other six were just very bad luck.
“For us, Halloween parties are more of a formal gathering with music and canapes,” he explained, shuffling the cards and putting them away. “I remember the actual balls,” his expression turned almost forlorn, reminiscing on who-knows-how-old memories.
“So you’d say a formal dress?”
“Maybe a suit, whatever you’d feel comfortable with, dear.”
You did have a burgundy blazer and high-waisted trousers you’d never gotten around to wearing. Not many occasions at Nevermore for it and the last Raven was themed Mothman’s black and red.
“I’m sure Larissa will be pleased with anything you wear…” he gave you a sly smile before continuing and you were already looking for something to throw at him, “or don’t.”
“Just shut all the way up you… insufferable man!” you got a handle on a stress ball left on your table and missed his face by half a foot. He laughed and you threw yourself on the bed. “I hate you.”
“You love me. And you depend on me,” he sat on the bed looking down at you, “If it wasn’t for me, you’d still be nowhere near getting onto Larissa’s skirt and now you got an entire weekend to do just so.”
“It’s pretence, you madman! We won’t do any of it!” he wanted to torture you; you were sure.
“Yes, and you won’t hold hands in public or casually kiss when you feel like it because that’s not what infatuated new couples do,” he arched an eyebrow at you and laid down at your side.
He had a point. In the back of your mind, you knew from the start that you’d have to keep close proximity to Larissa, and while that was not a problem to you and she was an adult and could deal with the consequences of her decisions, it was still a bit intimidating to think about.
You wouldn’t have to kiss; you were almost certain. You’d love that, but if Larissa draws a line you will keep yourself behind it.
“Why are you acting like she actually wanted it to be me?” your voice was little more than a whisper, “She asked you. You are her friend, she’s comfortable with you. If I don’t annoy her, which I’m almost sure I do, the most I am to her is her employee.”
He didn’t respond for a while, leaning on his elbow to look at you, “I wish you weren’t so horrible at this. You are a very special girl, y/n-“
“I’m almost thirty, c’mon-“
“Still a girl, shush. What I mean is that you are incredible company while also not being too bad on the eyes.”
“Ouch, thanks-“
“Stop interrupting me, insolent child!” you both laughed a bit, and you decided to keep quiet, “Larissa might not know you personally, but she asks about you, she is interested in your well-being and impressed by your achievements. I wish I could say more without spoiling your fun, but what I can say is that I know you’ll get along like a house on fire.”
You only smiled at that. Vlad had a wisdom only someone who lived a very long life could attain. Sometimes he took rash, irritating decisions that turned out to be a lesson in the end, and soon you realized he only did things the hard way to add some spice. Life probably got boring after seeing two centuries of it.
“I trust you,” you conceded, looking at him with all earnestness, “I just wish I could understand you better.”
“You will, soon, my dear.” He kissed your forehead and got up. “Good luck tomorrow and good night.”
Seeing Larissa should not be this nerve-wracking. You did it every day, in some way or another. Passing by in the corridor, bringing the coffee someone asked you to, discussing students’ results or weekly reports. But this time it was different. You were meeting her, purposefully meeting her for wine and planning. It was akin to work but with the added atmosphere of decidedly not work. Your stomach was in a knot.
“Come in,” the gentle tone welcomed you when you knocked.
Larissa wasn’t at her usual seat behind her laptop. She was in front of her fireplace, leafing through a leather journal, a pen gracefully kept between her index and thumb. Another chair had been brought to face her own with a side table where an empty glass sat.
“Am I late?” you walked to her and sat.
“No, I was just going over some questions,” she smiled, putting her own half-drunk glass down on the floor.
So professional. Even to lie. It was amusing how Larissa could transform everything into work. So much for being nervous; she had everything under control.
“Questions?”
“Yes, but that can wait.” She put the journal down on her lap and leant to pour you a drink. “How was your day? Have you rested a bit already?”
“Oh… not so much, I picked some clothes for the trip and graded students’ works to clear my next few days.” You admitted to being restless when there was still work to do, but you were planning on relaxing a bit soon. Even more now that all you had ahead was enjoying Larissa’s company and maybe getting her out of your system once and for all.
“Yes,” she chuckled, “I understand. I just sent my last e-mails for the day and still have some things to figure out in the morning before finally being free.” She picked up her glass and took a long sip, you could hear her swallow, “I confess I can’t wait for a good twelve-hour sleep.”
You smiled at that. Imagining Larissa giving in to leisure and spending an entire morning in bed. In your head, you would be massaging her feet and encouraging her to keep napping however long she wanted.
“So…” she filled her glass again before continuing, steeling herself. “I think we should establish boundaries and discuss a simple but credible set of events for us to be together.”
“Agreed.” You took your first sip, and the velvety sweet taste surprised you. Larissa noticed because a small smile crept the side of her mouth. “This is really good!”
“I thought you’d be the type to enjoy sweeter things,” she seemed proud of herself and nudged you to continue.
You took another sip, and wow it was even better now you knew what to expect. The taste lingered in your mouth, and you felt strangely content.
“As I was saying, I think it wise we discuss boundaries. I would like to know whatever things you wouldn’t like to do as displays of affection go and which you can handle.”
“Jesus, Larissa, I won’t die for holding your hand,” you tried to joke, but she was serenely serious.
“Some people are very sensitive about touch; I just want to make sure.”
This woman was going to kill you. The fire lighted the side of her face, casting the other in a soft shadow, making her eye shimmer in the dark.
“I’m ok with touching. Handholding, sitting close, caressing as long as it’s innocent. I’m not big on public displays of lust, affection I can do.”
“What made you think we would need to-“
“I don’t know, Morticia and Wednesday’s father were a lot the first time I met them. I just can’t do any of that.”
Larissa let out a deep, thundering laugh at that, and god was it a vision. Her exposed neck, head back with a hand covering her mouth.”
“No! No, we won’t do that.” She assured, regaining control and trying to school her face, but she was still looking amused, “Gomez and Morticia are a lot. Their level of love and devotion borders obsession and although sweet it is also nauseating to everyone around them. You are not alone in this, trust me.”
“Oh, thank god! I mean, if they're happy, great for them, but I don’t need to be part of it.” You didn’t realize, but your glass was almost empty, and Larissa arched a brow questioning if you wanted more. You nodded.
“So, touch is fine. What else?” she asked.
“Tell me what you feel comfortable with,” you goaded, drinking some more.
Larissa seemed caught at that, not expecting your prompting.
“Hm… I don’t mind touching of any kind, as long as appropriate. I’m not opposed to kissing-“ she interrupted herself at that, having another sip while looking away and then back at you, “In the cheek, hands, forehead-“
“Mouth?” you let out, immediately regretting it. Larissa was purposefully not saying it, it was obvious she didn’t want to kiss you in public. And in private came without saying.
She stayed silent for a while, looking at the floor in front of the fireplace, where a few of the glowing ambers were falling and dying out.
“I know this is unpleasant for you. I promise to try my best at making you comfortable for the entirety of it, and I won’t ask you to do that.”
“And what if I want to?” woah what? That was a bit too much, backtrack, fast! “I mean, what if I don’t mind? Just like touching. It’s just kissing Larissa, we’ve done more with other people, it’s not a big deal,” nice. Good save.
She took a deep breath and looked at you again, “If the moment arises, I’ll ask. How about that?”
Sometimes you win, and sometimes you don’t.
“That’s fine.” You conceded, standing up and taking the bottle from the floor beside her chair. You filled your glass and offered to fill hers. She accepted, and the bottle was empty. “If we’re going to be close, I think we should get accustomed to that, don’t you?”
You could not only stop at the clear fail with the kiss subject. You were a bit drunk, and Larissa was so there it almost ached not to touch her.
“What do you suggest?” she seemed curious, standing up as well.
“We can sit on the sofa together. Come up with our story. Not much, just the casual closeness a couple would have,” for a tipsy fool you were proud of how much sense your argument made.
“That’s reasonable. Very well.” She walked to the sofa, and by her less upright and proper posture, you could tell she drank a bit more than you but also held her alcohol with much more ease.
She sat close to the middle, and you sat right beside her, your bodies touching from shoulder to knee, in your case; even sitting you only got to her bicep.
“When did we get together?” you were tempted to phrase it as how did you fell in love with me, but you guessed her tolerance had a limit and you didn’t want to find it.
“I think good old office cliché. We met at work, spent some time together and our mutual respect and admiration mixed with feelings of attraction and fascination and someday it was simply too plain not to see.”
That was very rational. In a way, it was sweet and simple, and you thought no one would need much more than that.
“Makes perfect sense.” You leant your head on her arm, and to your surprise, she shifted so you were resting on her shoulder and her arm laid around yours.
She smiled, looking down at your stunned face, “Comfortable?” she seemed entertained by you, “If we’re going to do this, we might as well be friends. You are doing me an enormous favour; I think we are past being shy and awkward about physical contact. It will only make things more difficult.”
“You’re right.” You buried yourself further on her chest, catching the fading scent of her sweet perfume. She always wore that one and you loved it.
“So how was our first date?” she prompted, a laugh on her voice.
“Hmm… I took you out for a picnic. You were wearing heels and it was early so it was a disaster to walk on the grass. I regretted making it a surprise because I thought you weren’t enjoying yourself, but when we arranged the things down, you took off your shoes and laid on my chest, saying you couldn’t care less about dirt in your heels.”
The image came to life in your head as the floral scent reminded you of vast fields in spring. Larissa hummed and her fingers came to put a few strands of your hair behind your year.
“That’s a very sweet thought,” she mused, and you smiled to yourself at the gentleness of her voice.
“Do you think we’ll need much more than that?” you whispered; you were feeling sleepy.
“Maybe a timeline and some more getting acquainted with being close. But it can’t be that hard to convince people someone is dating, it’s not like it is completely unfounded that I would have a partner, is it?” her last words were weaker than the rest of her sentence, and you felt a pang in your chest. Of course it wasn’t. Larissa was focused on work, but she was so much more than the principal. She listened, protected and cared for everyone around her. Always trying her best to help everyone succeed and be happy.
“No, it’s not. And I’ll look so in love with you that it won’t even cross their minds for a second.” With that, you leant away, looking at her face, and planted a soft, slightly longer than necessary, kiss on her cheek. “For practice.” You whispered and got up, wishing her good night and leaving to your room.
Chapter Three
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dewitty1 · 3 months
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Fire Meet Gasoline
lettersbyelise @lettersbyelise
Chapters: 14/14 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Characters: Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Luna Lovegood, Ginny Weasley, Astoria Greengrass, Scorpius Malfoy, Original Characters, Original Pet Characters Additional Tags: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Slow Burn, Unresolved Sexual Tension, idiots to lovers, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Minor Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley, Past Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Past Astoria Greengrass/Draco Malfoy, Past Draco Malfoy/Original Character(s) - Freeform, Healer Harry Potter, Quidditch Player Draco Malfoy, Person of Color Harry Potter, Snark, Banter, Harry Potter Has Issues, Draco Malfoy Has Issues, Drinking, anger management issues, Canon-Typical Violence, Workaholic Harry Potter, Sleep Deprivation, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Pregnant Minor Character, Shower Sex, Smut, Dirty Talk, Sectumsempra Scars (Harry Potter), Swearing, Implied/Referenced Past Murder of a Parent, Bisexual Harry Potter, Bisexual Draco Malfoy, Happy Ending, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, H/D Erised 2022, Digital Art
  Summary:
When Draco’s anger management issues land him in St Mungo’s, he thinks his Quidditch career is over. But Harry, A&E Healer and notorious workaholic, is faced with a similar predicament. To save their jobs, the two of them decide to fake a relationship. All they have to do is convince their friends and employers… and not fall in love in the process. Simple, right?
(੭ˊ͈ ꒵ˋ͈)੭* . * ・ 。゚☆
Excerpt:
Harry’s hands pressed into fists. How obvious was Harry’s listlessness if even a conceited twat like Malfoy could read it on his face? How pathetic and useless must he look, a Healer without patients, robbed of his vocation?
But Malfoy was right. Harry wasn’t his Healer. He wasn’t anybody’s Healer for the foreseeable future. And if there was more to life than work, it didn’t involve worrying about Malfoy and his dumb disregard of basic medical advice.
“Suit yourself, Malfoy,” he said. “Wear the fucking brace or not. But when your hand is useless, don’t come crying if nobody hires you to play Quidditch again.”
Malfoy closed the gap between them in one step. Closed his fist into the front of Harry’s shirt. His face was inches from Harry’s face. “Who told you that?”
Malfoy’s breath shook when Harry grabbed his collar. “Lay your hand on me one more time, and I’ll hex you back to fucking France.”
They glared at each other, hands tangled in each other’s shirts, when a feminine voice called from afar, “Draco?”
Malfoy inhaled sharply, eyes wide. There was a split-second of panic in his eyes.
Then Malfoy yanked Harry to him and kissed him square on the lips.
Harry stumbled back as Malfoy let him go. Malfoy turned a genial smile to the posh young woman striding their way. “Hello, Astoria.”
But the woman paid no attention to Malfoy. She stared at Harry. Her pretty mouth hung open, possibly the only concession to utter surprise that her upbringing allowed.
Harry, though, had no such upbringing to fall back on. Draco Malfoy had just kissed him. They’d been fighting, that much he remembered. They’d been fighting. Harry was so fucking irritated by Malfoy, but it hadn’t been a horrible feeling. The heat that had raged through Harry’s veins was a welcome change after two weeks of quiet desperation. But then instead of punching him, as Harry half-expected, Malfoy had kissed him. Pressed his lips to Harry’s lips. With no forewarning whatsoever. What the fuck.
He blinked at Astoria like a spooked owl.
(๑ˊ͈ ॢꇴ ˋ͈)〜♡॰ॱ
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mastercherry · 1 year
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Let's see if I can do another popular trope.
Fake/pretend relationship? What about this?
Real relationship grows cold but they haven't had a chance to tell their friends and families plus a big event is coming up so they don't want to worry anyone or ruin anything so they agree to keep up appearances until AFTER the big event so they force smiles and hold hands and act like they aren't shaking apart at the seams and then the big event happens and they both have to catch their breath a little bit because WOW you look amazing and then it kinda feels like their first date all over again and they kiss for the first time in a while and it's like everything snaps back into place
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longlivesteddie · 1 year
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Tw: fake/pretend relationship, omegaverse, mating runs, omega!Steve, alpha!Eddie, fake it till you make it.
When Steve presented as an omega, he thought his father will kick him out. And thinking back at it, he would prefer that to what was awaiting him.
His father was sure that the upcoming mating run will leave Steve without an alpha. And so he made a deal with one of his friends to give Steve to him for a piece of company.
Steve's only option to avoid that was to find someone, who would catch him during the mating run event. Someone, who would be willing to pretend to be his alpha for a year, just long enough for Steve to save some money and leave Hawkins. Someone, who would act as if they're mated.
There was only one person crazy enough to say yes.
Eddie the freak Munson.
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