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#faking
shipaxe · 1 year
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My experience being wrong about multiplicity
Hi. For a year and a few months more, I believed I was a system. Why did I believe this, and what are some reasons I did, as well as how I realized I was wrong? Why I thought I was a system Around September of 2021, I labeled myself as an endogenic median system. Upon finding the system label, I did nowhere near enough research before labeling myself as one. It felt like the non-traumagenic community didn't care; if you thought you were a system, you were one! If you didn't, you weren't. It felt black and white. Eventually, I realised I had trauma I was unaware of, and switched to the label traumagenic. I was no longer median, either. In less than a year, I had 100+ "alters", almost all "fictives". While this can happen, I don't believe I was nearly as stressed as I would have needed to be, and just.. didn't feel right. Other factors that lead me into the belief I have multiple other disorders. Specifically, I suspect I have BPD, and the dissociation, mood swings, sense of emptiness, and identity issues impacted me a lot. I mistook these symptoms for OSDD-1. I subconsciously started sectioning off parts of my identity, and felt more and more separate- hence the switch from median to multiple. I am also fictionkin and polymorph otherkin. Around 20 of my "fictives" ended up being kins. I am also, to put it simply, lonely. I never feel like I fit in. In the system community, sometimes I DID feel like I fit in. When I didn't, someone else was "chilling in cofront". A lot of them were like imaginary friends to make me feel less alone. Those ones don't even feel like a part of me, but they're not separate people, either. They're just.. figments of my own imagination. To be honest, I've felt much lonelier upon learning I am a singlet. How I realized I was wrong Honestly, it was somewhat obvious. Many of my "headmates" felt like they were a part of me, and if we had different bodies, it wouldn't be the same- because they were me. I also subconsciously started to copy symptoms I didn't have, I switched as I wanted, I was fictive heavy- which can happen, but it's rarer than people realise. My trauma was not severe or repetitive. I could go on. A big problem in the system community is the "everyone is valid" mentality; I believe MUCH more research should be done before labeling as a system, and not enough people talk about it. Another issue is that not a lot of people talk about being wrong, and personally, I was terrified to tell people I was wrong. It's fucking difficult. There's too much "you're valid! you're valid! you're valid!" and not enough "hey, it's okay if you're wrong!". When I panicked around the time I realized I was wrong (and denied it for weeks), I never received an "it's okay if you're wrong". All I got was "hey, calm down, you ARE a system". I think the community has a lot to fix. This has fucked up my dissociation issues and identity problems worse than they were before. I wish I had realized I was a singlet sooner or never jumped into this label. Not all of these mean you're a singlet, but if you relate to this, please be open to the idea of being wrong. Thanks for reading this. Please share this- my goal with it is to help others. Have a good day/night, drink some water, and know that it's okay to be wrong. ☆
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danandphil-lies · 1 month
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"You could swim in those eyes" (apple Phil picture) you cannot, in fact, swim in those eyes (it would be impossible)
thank you anon for bringing this lie to everyone's attention! seasoned veterans will recognize this quote from one daniel howell in reference to philip lester's eyes:
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some may claim that this is not a lie, but rather just dan being ignorant. perhaps, one might say, dan truly thought that he could go swimming in phil's eyes. however, dan is a man of science. surely he understood that it is physically impossible for a person to go swimming ("the sport or activity of propelling oneself through water using the limbs") in another person's eyes (not made of water, very bad if limbs enter). thus, we should, nay, are forced to draw the conclusion that dan was LYING!
why daniel j. howell would make such a blatant fabrication is unfathomable. this just goes to show that even in 2009, dan was a liar who did not care that he was obviously presenting falsehoods. and the fact that phil lester (AmazingPhil) would go along with said lie is repugnant.
we must fight for the truth! please everyone, i compel you to follow in the footsteps of this brave anon and submit more pieces of fiction from dan and phil.
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Dealing with Denial 101
We’ve gotten a few asks about dealing with denial as a system, so we wanted to put together a post that we can reference in the future.
Denial, imposter syndrome, and fear of faking are all incredibly common system experiences. Unfortunately, when dealing with something that is so heavily stigmatized and not well understood among the public, these issues come all to easily. Just because you experience these things does not mean you aren’t a system, however! Here’s some things to remember that may help with dealing with feelings of denial:
1. Every system is unique!
You do no favors for yourself, your system, or others by comparing your experiences to those of other systems. An endogenic system’s experience is going to look entirely different from a system with a dissociative disorder, and even within certain origins there is so much diversity! There is no need to deny your system due to having unique experiences. There’s a lot that brings us together as systems, it’s true, but there’s also so much that sets us apart from each other and makes us different and unique! Take pride in this fact and don’t use it as an excuse to deny your system.
2. Created/spontaneous systems are valid!
If you find yourself wanting to deny your system on grounds of being endogenic, feeling like endogenic systems can’t exist and therefore your system can’t exist, we’d like to reassure you that that couldn’t be farther from the truth! Endogenic systems are and have always been an important part of the plural community. Your experiences as an endo system might be totally different from the experiences of a CDD system, but that’s okay! And it doesn’t mean that either of you are inherently faking your experience with plurality.
3. Comorbidities can (and do) happen!
It is possible to be a system (whether disordered or nondisordered) and deal with a myriad of mental illnesses. You can be a system and still have personality disorders, anxiety disorders, developmental disorders or any other sort of mental disorder. The only exception to this would be, you probably can’t have DID and OSDD at the same time. If you’re wondering about comorbidities and your likelihood of experiencing more than one disorder, please consult a mental health professional! Having comorbidities is not an indication of faking plurality and shouldn’t be a reason for you to deny your plural experience.
4. Communication is often difficult!
For many systems, communication does not come easily and is something that needs to be practiced regularly in order to improve over time. Some systems never reach a place of excellent communication, and that’s okay! It’s also perfectly normal to have a system that goes through communicative cycles, with periods of lots of activity followed by periods of silence. Just because you aren’t hearing from your headmates multiple times every day doesn’t mean that you’re not really a system!
5. Introjects are normal!
It’s okay to have tons of introjects in your system, or even for your system to be made up entirely out of introjects! It’s fine to have fictives, factives, octives, faitives, fuzztives, and everything in between. Yes, you can still be a system with a bunch of anime or smp headmates! Yes, you can still be a system of your introjects are weird, “cringe,” canon-compliant, canon-divergent, factives of celebrities, fictives from popular sources, or anything else! None of these things should cause you to deny your system - lots of other systems are in similar situations!
6. Some members are more prone to denial!
Even in diagnosed CDD systems, sometimes hosts, persecutors, or other members dig their feet in and refuse to acknowledge the system’s existence. We know this definitely happened in our system! Just because a particular member often tries to deny the system, doesn’t mean that you’re faking at all! For some members, the realization that they’re a part of a system can be scary, frustrating, and anxiety-inducing. Some may choose to deny that the system exists in order to protect themselves, or to preserve their way of life. A bit of kindness, patience, and persistence can go a long way in getting these members to accept the reality of your multiplicity!
7. A syscovery may happen at any time!
You don’t need a therapist or specialist to confirm that you’re plural. You don’t need outside validation in order for your system to exist. You may discover your system at a very young age, or well into adulthood. Both of these are perfectly fine times to learn about your plurality - there’s no magic age you must be before you can learn about your system! If your system deals with heavy denial or dissociative barriers, it may take multiple syscoveries in order for the realization to stick. This is nothing to worry about and definitely not proof that you’re faking your plurality!
8. Fakers don’t usually stress about whether or not they’re faking!
Faking an illness is a conscious effort that takes time, knowledge, and dedication. Fakers also don’t worry too much about whether or not they’re faking - for the most part, they absolutely know that they are! If you’re worried that you’ve been faking your plurality all along, honestly chances are slim that you’re actually faking. Try to stay calm and patient, and allow your headmates to speak for themselves on whether or not they think you’re faking your plurality!
9. It’s okay to question!
It’s okay to spend a long time wondering whether or not you’re actually plural. It’s okay to experiment with labels and try some out before you’ve figured out the origins of your system. It’s okay (and recommended, and healthy!) for you to question whether or not you have a trauma history or childhood memory gaps, and to rule out trauma as a cause for your plurality first. It’s okay to have a “pillowgenic” label one week and a “stressgenic” label the next. Questioning is a big part of self-discovery - the mere act of questioning your plurality doesn’t mean that you’re not actually plural by any means. Take your time with figuring out who you are!
10. It’s okay to be wrong!
There’s so much more we’d like to add here, but the last thing we’ll say is it is absolutely fine to be wrong about your origins, headmate count, or your plurality overall! You are not hurting anyone by exploring the concept of plurality, wondering if multiplicity affects you, and ultimately deciding you’re a singlet. It’s also perfectly fine to be wrong about your origins or to discover you’re traumagenic later in life. Deciding you’re endogenic after discovering childhood trauma may not be a wise thing to do, but other than that, it’s okay to be wrong about your experience and the language you use to describe it!
Sorry for the long post! Hopefully some of these affirmations will be reassuring for struggling systems out there. Remember that we’re in your corner rooting for you regardless of your origins or whether or not you experience denial! Please know we’ll always believe you, and we hope that one day you’ll be able to believe in yourself and your system!
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(Image ID:) A pale orange userbox with a cluster of multicolored flowers for the userbox image. The border and text are both dark orange, and the text reads “all plurals can interact with this post!” (End ID.)
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drowninginred · 9 months
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mochinek0 · 1 year
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Daminette December 2022: 14-Toxic (Meme)
"Mrs. Wayne, I apologize for the call, but there is a situation at the school with your daughter." a voice spoke, "We need you to come down to the school."
"I'll be right there." Marinette answered.
Marinette quickly made her way to her husband's office.
"I have to head to the school. They called and said something happened with Amaya." she stated.
"What happened?" Damain asked.
"I don't know." she frowned, "They just asked me to head over there."
"I'm coming, too." Damian declared.
They both knew what likely awaited them. Amaya had told them of a girl, who was deemed as 'New Pop'. She was the latest popular girl at school for dating the basketball star. The girl had become angry when she learned that her boyfriend had previously asked out Amaya and she had turned him down.
Marinette frowned as she walked the halls. After hearing Amaya saying how people were questioning her, she quickly filled her in about dealing with Lila. She never wanted her daughter to feel that way.
"Where are this girl's parents? You told me her mother would be here thirty minutes ago!" a voice screamed.
'Why does that shouting sound familiar?'
'The school called me ten minutes ago, that liar!'
Damian quickly grabbed Marinette's hand. He knew if he didn't stop her, he also would hurt whoever was yelling about their child. Marinette slammed the door open and glared at the people inside. She quickly recognized their newest secretary. She had seen the way she stared at her husband.
"M-Mr. Wayne!" Claire exclaimed, "Wha-"
"I think the question is why are you shouting at my daughter." Damian growled, "We can hear you down the hallway."
Claire shook under the glares from the Waynes. Amaya quickly rushed over to her parents and hugged them.
"What seems to be the problem?" Marinette asked.
Claire cleared her throat, "Your daughter is bullying mine!"
Mari sighed.
'I thought as much.'
"We have taught our daughter to never bully anyone." she replied.
"Well, you didn't do a good job." the secretary huffed, shoving her daughter forward.
"And you didn't let me finish, Claire." Marinette interrupted, "I taught her bullying was wrong because I was bullied. I also taught her to look for all the warning signs."
"Warning signs?" the principal asked.
"For example, before calling me, you asked where this took place and looked up the footage. We pay good money to make sure this place is ran correctly."
"The altercation was in the bathroom." the principal answered, "No cameras."
"I see. How did she hurt you?" she asked the injured party.
"She hit me." the girl sobbed, revealing her bloody face.
"With what?" Marinette questioned.
"Her hands." Michelle sniffed.
Marinette got her daughter's hands and looked them over.
"Delicate and soft. Not a scratch or a scar. Nothing under her nails and none of them are broke or chipped. There's not a sign of bruising or blood." Marinette stated, turning over her daughter's hands infront of them.
"She washed it off!" Michelle shouted.
Marinette smiled and pulled out a black tube. She clicked on a button and it lit up. She hovered it over her hands.
"This is a black light." Mari announced, "Not a trace of blood. Even if she had washed it off, this would have revealed it. There's not even a trace of it on her clothes. Also, she would have had defense marks from you trying to hurt her."
Claire looked down towards her daughter.
"Her father and I noticed a bottle of paint in the hallway, on the floor. I hope that wasn't yours." Mari smiled.
"Wh-why would it be?" the 'New Pop' answered, looking away.
"Oh, good then." Marinette sighed, in exaggerated relief, "For a second there, I thought we needed to call an ambulance. It said it contained toxic chemicals. To keep away from your face and that it could cause burns and blindness."
The popular girl screamed and quickly ran out of the room. Marinette smiled.
"How?" the principal asked.
"My bully tried the same trick with me." Marinette shrugged, "Poor thing was a model. Now, she's not."
Claire quickly moved to rush after her daughter.
"Claire." spoke Damian.
"Y-Yes, sir?" Claire questioned, hesitantly.
"You are fired." he declared.
"What?" she asked, shocked.
"Your daughter must have learned her tricks from someone close." he stated, "As I recall, you called out sick today. You look perfectly healthy to me. From your appearance, you appeared to have wallowed in someone's bed and rushed over. Your lipstick is still smeared and your heels are on the wrong feet."
Claire whimpered and rushed out.
The principal smiled, "I'm sorry for calling you. I know you would want to know."
"I'm glad that the situation was taken care of so quickly." Marinette smiled.
"Bullying needs to be dealt with swiftly, not down the road. We are never too busy for her. If possible, I would prefer them to be with separate teachers and lunch schedules." Damian declared.
"I'd also ask a student that is truthful to the staff to listen out for any rumors or even ask if they have heard any already." Marinette brought up, "If she's anything like mine, she's been telling people this has been going on for awhile. They will likely believe the other girl over our daughter."
"I'll ask the art students about the paint. They know who goes in and out of the room, the most, and can help spread the word." the principal replied.
"Can I go home for today?" Amaya questioned.
"I think that will be best." the principal answered, "I'd rather have you here at your best."
As the Waynes left the school, they noticed an ambulence in front of the school.
Amaya smiled and shouted, "I hope they can remove all that paint you put on your face, Michelle! It would be a shame if you blinded yourself with toxic paint!"
The girl cried harder as she was loaded into the back. Quickly, everyone started whispering.
'That's my girl.'
"Amaya, are you okay?" a girl ran up and asked.
"Yeah." Amaya smiled, "My parents took care of it. They saw a paint bottle and mentioned it. They said it was toxic and could blind people. Michelle ran out screaming and outted herself as a liar, in front of her mother and the principal."
"Are you going home?" the girl asked, "Are you in trouble?"
"I'm not in trouble." the Wayne heiress declared, "I'm just going home early. I'll be back tomorrow."
The Waynes walked away from the school and towards the car.
"If you ever get in an actual fight, I expect you to win." Damian spoke, as he closed the car door.
"But show restraint. " Marinette stated, "We don't need a call that you put a kid in an ambulence for breaking their ribs."
Amaya smiled, "What about a finger?"
Marinette rolled her eyes, "As long as it's not severed."
Amaya looked to her father, who smirked at his little warrior.
"I'm glad you listened and waited for us to arrive." Marinette spoke up, "I never want you to go through what I did."
"I don't think Father would allow it." their daughter replied.
"Who said I would do anything?" he answered with a smirk, "I'm sure Todd would be just as effective in relocating a child, while you appear publicly, with a solid alibi."
TAG LIST: @maribat-calendar-events @animeweebgirl @a-star-with-a-human-name @meme991001 @vixen-uchiha @abrx2002 @alysrose-starchild @fandom-trapped-03 @dood-space @moonlightstar64 @saltymiraculer @marveldcedits20 @09shell-sea09 @icerosecrystal @animegirlweeb @insane-fangirl-of-everything @blueblossombliss @nickristus-dreamer @megawhitleycalderonpaganus
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pluralprompts · 9 months
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"Pff these idiots are so easy to fool" Person A leaned back in their chair. They had been faking being a system for a while now, and it was surprisingly easy. Just make up a few personas and act them out. It was basically roleplaying.
Then a message popped up in the Discord chat they were in, a reply to a message they didn't remember sending, which was odd, because they had a pretty good memory.
Perturbed, they went to the message. It was apparently a whole conversation, with a proxy they had never used before.
Omg, did they finally figure it out?
Shhhhhh, you'll ruin the surprise!!
...What the fuck
[PT: Omg, did they finally figure it out?
[Shhhhhh, you'll ruin the surprise!! / End PT]
Submitted Prompt #103
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riversidekid · 1 year
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Getting Older - Billie Eilish
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melblogsgfreethruptsd · 9 months
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Different faces for different spaces. 🎭
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weeblmaodotcom · 6 months
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Do you think that Sarada is being faking her eyesight all alone? , Meme by Weeblmao.com
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alostlittleriverlotus · 5 months
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well the thing seems to be over. They aren't ban avoiding, maybe got device banned? But whatever. I'm just glad it's over. If they try to bother me again, I'm just blocking. I mean, I did block anyway and didn't interact with anything they did, but still. Now to have a peaceful night with my safe person Mikey so I can just come down from that horrible episode. Imagine thinking it's funny to mock someone mentally ill until they have a breakdown, delusions of being watched and stalked by you, and have a panic attack. Then think it's justified because you think they're faking. On a mental health app of all places.
And all because I interacted with their aspd posts cause I have aspd, but they think I'm a faker so they comment how they're gonna mock me then avoid a ban to continue to bother me and feed into my delusions. It doesn't matter if I'm faking, you're literally harassing me.
Anyway. Enough. Letting it go. Going to work on calming down and feeling safe with Mikey. I'm okay. I'm getting through it. I'm proud of me.
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butchrat · 2 years
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"I want to be good more than I want to be anything else, I've never been good before you see" feeling like you are the issue
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Richard Sikken
@pissandrats
Salem S
Jaymes young
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hi, i believe i might be plural and im not sure im very scared im faking :[ could i get some support?
Hi!
So if you’re still questioning, we definitely recommend checking out our post with resources for questioning systems:
Remember questioning is a process - there’s no need to jump to any conclusion straight away! You’re welcome to take as long as you need to find the labels that work right for you and understand whether or not you really are plural.
Wondering about yourself and being wrong isn’t the same as faking. Also, as far as we know, faking plurality would take lots of time, effort, and dedication (not to mention the faker would have to understand that they are actually faking or pretending!). So if you haven’t spent much time consciously faking being plural, chances are, you’re not faking.
And another thing on faking…
Even if you are faking your plurality… so what? Pretending to be plural ultimately doesn’t harm anyone. We believe that plurality is an opt-in label that anyone can use if it helps them define themselves and their experiences. If pretending to be plural is useful for someone, then we’ll never stop them! As long as fakers are not trying to manipulate others or causing real harm to themselves or other people, we see nothing wrong with pretending to be plural and will treat these individuals with kindness and respect.
So please don’t rush or jump to conclusions regarding whether or not you’re plural! It’s okay to take things slow, and fear of faking really shouldn’t be something to worry about.
Of course, if you worry you may have or be faking an actual complex dissociative disorder, or some other mental illness, we’d encourage you to please reach out to a therapist or mental health professional. Talking to someone with education, experience, and training can really help provide insight as to what’s going on in your mind.
We hope this helps! Best of luck to you with everything :)
🌸 Margo and 🐢 Kip
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dreamdropsystem · 1 year
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(old art)
Faker Faker Faker Faker
words don't even seem real now
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unwelcome-ozian · 1 year
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do you have any words of reassurance for systems like me who often question themselves or internalize fakeclaiming? sorry if this is heavy, hope ur having a good day
It’s normal at points to think you’re making things up, misremembering, those things didn’t happen, all kinds of things.
It is a lot to take in and one way to protect yourself is to say it’s all fake. That’s a sign things have become overwhelming and perhaps a bit of rest is in order. People who are faking don’t ask if they are faking they know they are.
In those times focus on the impact. The impact isn’t fake. The steps you take in recovery and healing aren’t fake. The feelings aren’t fake.
I’m having a pleasant day. Thank you for asking.
Take care,
Oz
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dissociation culture is i'm me. i'm you. i'm me again. i'm that guy on the bus. i'm my childhood imaginary friend. i'm me a little to the left. i'm faking. i'm here. i'm yesterday. i'm home alone. i'm at work. i'm faking. i'm faking. i'm faking. i'm faking.
.
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