#family trauma

[cerleansky]

My therapist was so real for saying the meaning of life is found in connection.

People hug their friends when they meet up and hug them a little tighter when it comes time to say goodbye. My grandfather rebuilt the broken rocking horse my grandmother had as a child, a gift from her father. There's an indescribable ache that goes along with seeing someone you used to know intimately, the becoming of a common stranger. Coincidences that bind, one time I got an uber and the driver used to live in my home before me. It was the last place he saw his father alive as a child and he nearly cried when I told him the walls were still the same colour.

Has anyone ever gotten over their childhood best friend? Is that alone not a testament to the fact we are more than blood and bones.

It's all about connection, friends.

[curseofsisyphus]

always an angel never a god

take my uquiz guys!! (tw teeny bit of gore)

are you the angel or the god

[mssrell]

I was a kid but I wasn't clueless, Someone who loves you wouldn't do this.

Conan Gray

family issues // generational trauma

[composer-clover]

i am grieving my upcoming illusory death

counting down the days to my living funeral

where i will be as good as dead in your eyes

while i just stand here

tears, no doubt, streaming down my face

and you ignore me like a ghost

not fully dead, but in my own hellish purgatory

for not doing as you say

[dittomoon]

So, I drew this back in October 2021 but only shared it on the BoJack Horseman Reddit - I liked the idea of lining up the diamonds in Bojacks family tree, ending up with Hollyhock breaking away from their family trauma. I only realised after the sketch that Honey doesn’t have a diamond but I still wanted her to be at the top.

[loveyourlovelysoul]

Emotionally immature/unstable parents can easily project onto their child their own fears and insecurities, making it all about them: they feel triggered or attacked by their child's behaviour and are not able to comfort them, cause they haven't been comforted either in their childhood. This can teach the child that their emotions are related with how they make feel the other person and not with how they feel. So the child may grow knowing that they don't need comfort, that they're misbehaving and start self abandoning themselves, in order to make it all about others.

Please, if you're/have been into such a cycle, remember your emotions are about yourself and yourself alone. And it doesn't depend on you how others feel about them or how you may involuntarily trigger them: it's their own job to discover and heal their wounds. You only have to care about you, and feel and validate your own emotions, to heal yourself. And to care about yourself again: don't give up on yourself ever. You never deserve this.

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

Childhood trauma culture is being grown and still getting really into whatever was popular with kids/teens when you were that age because you feel like you missed out

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Playbook: Questions To Ask When Evaluating Your Relationships

Whether it's a friendship, colleague or professional relationship, romantic/sexual relationship, one with a family member, mentors, or with yourself. Here are some questions to ponder when trying to evaluate someone's true character and intentions. Consider the following if you think someone is trying to deceive, manipulate, love bomb, or blindside you in any way.

Do they live with integrity? Not the "I'll start tomorrow" type of integrity, but do they live in alignment with their general life philosophy, opinions, and values?

Do they take accountability for their actions, behaviors, and mistakes? Listen to whether they acknowledge their role in how a situation played out automatically when recounting a story to you. Even when another person is at fault, do they see the situation objectively? Do they play the blame game to make themselves appear like the innocent victim at all times or try to see how their actions may have consequences for others?

When you share your successes with them, is there immediate action to double down on making you feel good or do they automatically claim your win by telling them how it makes them feel or feel about you?

When you make a mistake or share a failure with them, do they seek to understand/offer support, try to distance themselves from your claim/actions, or provide unsolicited advice?

When offering criticism, do they judge your behaviors, attitude, and actions, or do they immediately start evaluating your character?

Do they engage in conversations to win or understand?

Do they make assumptions about your or your perceptions before hearing what you have to say about a particular situation? Do they ask or assume how you're feeling?

In a conflict, do they initiate a conversation by opening a dialogue or immediately jump to criticize you? Do they speak about an issue with you first directly, or do they try to get others on your side behind your back before confronting you?

Are they loyal to you, or do you believe they can "switch sides" at any time? A friend to all is a friend to none.

Do they seek connection or perceive you as a source of consistent attention? Do they ask you how you are or go on endless monologues about themselves/their struggles? When speaking about yourself to them, do they ask questions and seem curious or act dismissive in an attempt to redirect the conversation back to themselves?

Do they put effort into acknowledging your needs, interests, or preferences? Do they do favors or nice things for you that don't necessarily benefit them or relate to their interests, purely because they know you would enjoy it, without having to ask once they know you well?

Do they respect your boundaries? Do they react with understanding and compassion or rage and condescension if they cross them?

Do you feel supported or like you're nagging when expressing your needs to them? Do they value your input or say they do yet dismiss your needs through their actions?

Do they more often say or show that they're a good person? The more someone needs to validate their character, the less likely they've confronted the truth about themselves.

[wedarkacademia]

And when neither parent is a comfort, you live haunted by their shadows instead of finding your way out from under them.

Soman Chainani, from Quests for Glory

[thatweirdgirlyousatnexttoinmath]

It's been almost five years since The Haunting of Hill House came out on Netflix. And it has irrevocably changed my life.

The depiction of grief. Addiction. Depression. Loss. Identity. Family relationships. Family dynamics. Healing your inner child. Having to deal with your inner child. The fact that in some ways you never really grow up, you're that exact same person inside that is dealing with all these increasingly complex and difficult things, trying hard to not let the child in you react because you know it shouldn't.

Thinking about Theo taking her gloves off. Nell going to therapy, putting in work, and still having her demons chase her around all the way to the end. Shirley's entire life and career being based around wanting to help people in their darkest moments the way someone helped her (though isn't that what they all do, too? Especially Theo). Luke as the youngest, being left behind or not believed and eventually having to find ways to self-soothe, which as an adult are not as health-friendly as other options out there. But it's what he had to do to cope. And Steve... everyone knows a Steve.

I know people have commented before about the five Crain siblings and the five stages of grief. But they also each experience those themselves, and in some ways the five of them simply display how much grief and living can do to a person. Juxtaposing the entire modern part of the series with them as children reminded me how much the things I do now can also be drawn back to little Me. The decisions I make, what scares me, who I reach out to. What haunts me? I may not have a big scary terrifying Death House in my past, but I mean... we've all got our version of a big scary terrifying Death House.

The tragedy of Hill House, the complicated love that's shown, the connections and relationships we have with our families, the world, ourselves. I cannot, will not, should not, would not forget it.

[bunnighost]

[ahopelessromantika]

"I'm trying."

"Well, you aren't trying your best."

"But I am!"

"Still, your best is not enough."

"That's because nothing I do will be enough in your eyes. I don't even know why I'm still trying my hardest to please you."

-by ahopelessromantika-

[theereina]

I want it just for the cover.😝

[daremna]

When your parents say "she gets that from me😌" my brother in christ, get what from you, trauma?

[thoughtfloss7]

Holes

I'm not sure I'm alive.

I might even be dead.

I hope its a Comedy, I did always want to read Dante, and Bronte, and the other thespians in between. And listen to Solange, and Beyonce. And experience the culture of my Mom, say? Nah. I'll pass. That racist shit, all holier than thou, grew up on a farm, in a trauma pit, cooking up delicious little lies, devious rhubard pies, swatting flies.

Back n forth on the porch, in your handmade throne of tyranny. Fighting the same damn fight that we just held in January, You know? Annually

Its insanity. like the Clockwork fucking Orange. Seriously? Responsibility? I beg of you to show me accountability. You're killing me.

Give me 5 minutes of your time without laying into me. Free Will versus Conditioning, it's interesting, Beethoven's Ninth Symphony I'm listening, but its no longer interesting.

It's interesting, It's just solo negativity, A conductor of mental dystrophy.

An epiphany… My tendencies are controlled by your shoestrings. Damn, look at your hand, fire is lighting up your mood ring.

Let it out, Let me have it, I'll grow up to be an addict, we won't talk, I'll walk away, It'll be my fault til you're grey, and I'll come get up, lift you up, read you to sleep.

It's complicated, this constant shouldered complaint.

But I will carry your bones.

There will be no dust left to settle between us two souls.

Only love and blood and all these old holes.

[classycookiexo]

BINGO 🎯🎯🎯