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#family-trauma
family-trauma · 1 year
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Do you think you do this to yourself?
I think I tend to do this occasionally when my family members gaslight or manipulate me into thinking I'm a horrible person for living normally. When individualism isn't recognized, codependency, enmeshment and close mindedness causes toxic behaviours from others (imo).
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FNAF movie Vanessa and Michael would get along so well
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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catwingsathena · 2 years
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My sister puts glasses away upside down.
Because our mother does,
Because her mother did,
Because her mother lived through the Dust Bowl.
One day my father sat me down and told me about epigenetics.
How the trauma he went through
As a child in an abusive home
Wrote itself into his DNA
And, in turn, into mine.
How he and his brothers,
In various ways,
Are all sick from it.
How I might be too, someday,
And I’m not sure I’m not.
I hear people say,
When will we get back to normal?
And I think of a woman born in the twenty-first century
Who puts her glasses away differently
Because of what her great-grandmother endured
Ninety years before.
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ministarfruit · 2 months
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day 12: karma ♡
(femslashfeb prompt list)
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Will I always be alone in this house? Reading books that are too hard for me in the long fatherless hours?
let your dad die energy drink - daniel lavery and cecilia corrigan/bob’s burgers, 2011/family line - conan gray/@parentless-suggestions/promises of gold - jose olivarez/unknown/dna - lia marie johnson/unknown/part of me never left that house - mada hayyas/unknown/father - demi lovato/franz kafta/unknown/primer - aaron smith/family line - conan gray/untitled - frank wright
***sorry for all of the unknowns on this one. I really do try to find the sources for everything but I kept coming up empty w these. If you know the sources pls comment/send me an ask or dm and lmk!!
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cerleansky · 1 year
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My therapist was so real for saying the meaning of life is found in connection.
People hug their friends when they meet up and hug them a little tighter when it comes time to say goodbye. My grandfather rebuilt the broken rocking horse my grandmother had as a child, a gift from her father. There's an indescribable ache that goes along with seeing someone you used to know intimately, the becoming of a common stranger. Coincidences that bind, one time I got an uber and the driver used to live in my home before me. It was the last place he saw his father alive as a child and he nearly cried when I told him the walls were still the same colour.
Has anyone ever gotten over their childhood best friend? Is that alone not a testament to the fact we are more than blood and bones.
It's all about connection, friends.
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selfhealingmoments · 3 months
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maemaybe · 7 months
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This post is for everyone with trauma that is that is difficult to explain to people who haven't lived it.
It's for everyone who has ever talked about their trauma and had to explain why their experience was traumatizing.
It's for everyone who has ever talked about their trauma and had it compared to something normal, because people don't get that what happened to you was not normal.
This post is for everyone traumatized by:
growing up in dysfunctional families
sibling abuse
hoarding or growing up in an unsafe/unsanitary environment
parents struggling with mental illness or addiction who were abusive or neglectful despite their good intentions or best efforts
not getting support to deal with things like grief or disasters
parentification or emotional enmeshment with a parent
anything else not included on this short list of examples
Your trauma is real. You deserve to be heard and understood. You deserve compassion and kindness as you recover.
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ursiday · 3 months
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Doodles of Elsa and Viktor from a little while back that ended up going along with this small animation I did
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kittyoverlord · 4 months
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Brennan tearing up at this part was so heartwrenching. I don't think I've ever seen him break like this. As someone who's been in the unfair position of having to comfort my parents, this scene cut to my soul.
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family-trauma · 8 days
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Deep down, FNAF movie Vanessa and Michael are siblings
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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...
#not a shitpost#serious post#ask to tag#tw trauma#cptsd#c-ptsd#and if so we should TALK about it#because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays#like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc#bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times#and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact#2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc#3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation#and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie#4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories#and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong#weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards#i got lucky there#also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons
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girls be like “fighting demons😤🤪” and the demons be their moms
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notsomeloncholy · 6 months
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"The inky black presence flicked a forked tongue. So it is, he said. So it is. May a Skywalker always find another by the trail of blood. I will lead."
Comic based off of a lovely passage @husborth wrote about the way Leia interacts with the force
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