𝑼𝒏𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒚 𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒔 - 𝑳. 𝑯𝒆𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒖𝒏𝒈
❦PAIRING: heeseung + female reader!❦
❦WARNINGS: mentions of intimacy, angst, taboo relationship, small age gap, child abuse, cheating, (not reader) mentions of illegal racing & weed smoking, kissing, alcohol, selling drugs, divorce, violence, blood, injuries, cursing, crying (not as intense as it sounds but I did want to make sure I added all the warnings)
❦GENRE: step-mom reader, stepson heeseung, dysfunctional family, slow burn.
❦SUMMARY: in which you move in with your husband after your wedding, everything is perfect except for one thing, no matter what, you can't seem to get close to his stepson. Even after a year of knowing each other, you hadn't even spoken ten words until his 21st birthday rolled around, and funny enough he was the surprising you.
❦NUMBER OF WORDS: 14,364k
Find your way around!
Hello, this is my longest fic so far, so I hope it's okay. Please leave feedback and reblog! thanks so much, happy reading.
It had already been two months since you moved in with your husband, and things couldn't have been better. He gave you a key to the house and even bought a car for you as a welcoming gift which you thought was over the top, but he assured you that it was more than okay and that you deserved it, which made you fall for him even more if that was possible.
In the beginning, your parents weren't too fond of you marrying an older man when you were still in your late 20's it took a while to convince them, but he really made you happy, and when you introduced him to your parents over dinner, and they saw how radiant you were when you were with him they gave you their blessing, and you couldn't have been happier.
There was just one tiny little problem.
More like a big problem.
No matter what you did, his son heeseung wouldn't even spare you a glance, not when you first met, not at the wedding, and not since the day you moved in, absolutely nothing.
You knew it was probably hard for him to go through all this, especially as a twenty-year-old getting used to having a mom or (stepmom) all over again, but you've been in his life for about a year now, and he still hasn't warmed up to you yet.
"I don't think he likes me," you sighed as you cuddled up next to your husband on the couch in the living room.
He wrapped his arms around you to comfort you. "Don't worry, honey. I'm sure he'll come around soon. He's just adjusting to the new house and everything," he reassures you.
"I hope so." You said with a sad smile.
That conversation happened last month, and he still hasn't made any effort to communicate with you.
You've tried various things to get his attention, like taking him shopping or making his favorite foods. Nothing worked, but his twenty-first birthday was right around the corner, and you were going to try to use the special day as a way to get closer and bond with him.
You noted that he enjoyed listening to music like a lot, so you had bought him the airpod max hoping he enjoyed them.
You could only hope he didn't think you were trying to buy his affection cause you really weren't. You just wanted to get to know your son.
And speaking of your son, he didn't tell you where he was off to when he left earlier this morning, and when you asked him, he just slammed the door in your face without saying goodbye, which wasn’t surprising to you anymore.
You initially called your husband, but he didn't pick up the phone, which also wasn’t surprising anymore. You figured he was just working overtime like he often does.
But luckily for you, he had given you heeseung's phone number in case of emergencies, and to you, this was an emergency he left in the morning, and it was now midnight with no word from him, so naturally, you were worried about him.
Thankfully your worried heart was put to ease when he answered on the first ring, and you breathed a sigh of relief. "What?" His tone was cold and harsh, just like it had always been, but right now, you didn't care. You were just happy he answered.
"Are you okay? Where are you? What time are you coming home?" You said in a worrisome tone.
You could hear him sigh on the other end. "I'll be back soon" you could barely hear him from all the loud noise in the background.
"Okay, I'll heat up dinner for you when you arrive. Drive saf-" your shoulders slumped down in defeat when he abruptly ended the call.
Another hour had passed, and you began to worry again, but the keys jingling outside the door made you jump to your feet excitedly. At least one of your boys was finally home.
"Hey!" You greeted. "I'll go get you something to eat. I'm sure you're starving" Heeseung didn't even pay you any attention. Instead, he took his shoes off at the door and made his way upstairs to his room.
You could only watch him with a frown on your face once he was out of sight. You could have sworn you smelled the scent of weed coming off him, and you furrowed your brows. You didn't know he smoked, which made you wonder if your husband knew you made a mental note to ask him when he came home from work later on.
Which was apparently not going to be tonight, it was already two in the morning, and you fought to keep your eyes open so you could greet him when he came back, but as the clock struck 2:02 am, you found yourself shuffling off to your shared bedroom drifting off to sleep just minutes later.
The next morning you woke up to an empty bed, and you assumed you had overslept and hubby was already at work. However, when you turned to face the clock, it was ten in the morning. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes, double-checking the time, and your eyes were correct. Maybe he worked all night or had to take the early shift. You'd just have to call him and figure it out later.
You got up and stretched for a while before going to the bathroom to wash up a bit.
Once you finished and went downstairs, you were pleasantly surprised to see heeseung dining at the table. "Morning," you greeted him with your croaky morning voice and a gentle smile as you made yourself a cup of coffee.
He didn't say anything, but that was to be expected. He never talked to you during breakfast. Since you moved in, you never had dinner as a family. It has always just been you and your husband occasionally while heeseung stayed in his room doing god knows what or you and heeseung sitting in absolute silence.
Once your coffee was ready, you joined him and quietly sipped your hot beverage. "I was really worried about you last night," you confess. You didn't want him to get up and leave when you tried to talk to him, but you wanted to express that you cared, and if that made him upset, you were willing to take that chance.
He looked at you briefly and took a spoonful of his cereal.
You took that as a sign to continue. "You don't have to tell me anything, but please just be home sooner than midnight," you spoke softly, just barely above a whisper, so you wouldn't scare him away.
He only gave you a small nod, but that was enough for a smile to spread across your face since he had finally acknowledged your presence.
You and him continued to have breakfast in comfortable silence until the front door opened and startled you slightly. "I'm home~" your husband sang as he stepped inside and took off his shoes.
You got up from your chair and ran over to him excitedly, wrapping your arms around his back and giving him a peck on the lips. "I missed you," you pouted, and he poked your cheek with a smile on his face.
"I missed you more" you grabbed his warm hand and led him to the kitchen table.
"We were just having breakfast. Would you like me to cook you something?" Before he could respond, heeseung had stood up and washed his unfinished cereal down the drain, and took off to his room.
You looked at your husband with sad eyes and sat on one of the kitchen chairs. "Why the sad face honey?" he stroked your cheek with his thumb lightly, and you leaned into his warm touch. "Hey, look at me" he tilted your head up slightly, staring at your beautiful eyes. "You had breakfast together again. That's a win, right?"
You’ve been having breakfast with heeseung since you moved in, and nothing has changed. It didn’t help you get closer with him, but you tried to stay positive, and you supposed your husband was right.
"Right" you got up from your seat and kissed his cheek. "I'll make some pancakes. How does that sound?"
"That sounds lovely." He agreed and gave you that beautiful smile of his.
"I don't want to kill the mood," you mumbled as you cut into your fresh plate of pancakes. "But last night when heeseung came home, he reeked of weed" you bit your bottom lip nervously as you awaited his reaction.
He just chuckled in response. "Honey, he's been like that for years. Don't worry about it." He dismissed.
"Has he been coming home past midnight for years too?" You hadn't noticed this behavior until last night. Usually, you were in bed by ten, but since you stayed up late waiting for your husband to come home, you were up late enough to encounter this apparent habit of heeseungs.
He dropped his fork and grabbed your hand. "Yes, ever since the divorce," he sighed. "He's just been very troubled. I've tried to talk to him about it, but he shuts me out all the time."
You wonder how bad the divorce must’ve been for heeseung to act this way. Your husband always said it was the past and that he didn’t want to talk about it, and you respected those boundaries, but you were still curious.
"Maybe I should talk to him," you suggested. After all, maybe it was the lack of a mother in his life that made him act this way. Maybe you could be there for him in a way his father couldn't.
He let go of your hand and clenched his jaw. "I told you I've already tried."
"But maybe I could try a different approach" you were adamant about the idea cause if heeseung was struggling. Naturally, you wanted to help him.
"Fine," he threw up his hands. "You'll just be wasting your time" your brows creased in confusion at his response. He had never acted this way before when you and him talked about heeseung's behavior, but before you thought too deeply about it, you assumed he was just tired and let the conversation go for now.
He abruptly stood up from the table and went to the bedroom, leaving you alone with three plates of unfinished food.
Heeseung had just come downstairs, and he looked like he was going out. Judging by the clothes he had on, he glanced at you, and you tried to hide your hurt expression by giving him a weak smile.
He eyed the table noticing there was a plate in front of his chair where he usually sat, and it was untouched.
He checked the time, and he supposed he could spare a minute or two. He rejoined you at the table, devouring your pancakes like it was his last meal on earth.
You smiled slightly as you watched him eat in silence. "Aren't you going to eat?" He mumbles after taking a sip of water.
You nearly jumped in surprise when he spoke to you, but you quickly composed yourself. "Yes," you whispered and resumed eating your pancakes, and even though they were cold, you ate every last bite with a smile, cherishing this rare moment with him.
Once he finished, he took his dishes to the sink and washed them along with the bowl he had left from earlier.
“Bye, heeseung” you gave him a tiny wave from the kitchen that he didn’t bother to return.
He put his shoes on at the door, and without another word, he was gone.
But at least there was progress, or so you thought.
You're sure that someone would have probably thought you were crazy with just how many decorations you had bought for your son's birthday, but hey, it was your first time celebrating the special day with him, and well, you wanted it to be special.
Unfortunately, earlier in the morning, when you were getting ready to go shopping, your husband informed you he wouldn't be home which totally ruined your whole entire mood. It seemed like everything went against you when it came to getting together as an actual family. If heeseung wasn't abruptly walking out of the room every time his dad entered, then his dad would be leaving for work nothing seemed to be working out for you.
"Can't you just call in? just this one time?" You all but begged him to stay home for Heeseung's birthday.
"No, I can't," he said flatly as he put on his dress coat. "He'll be fine. I always miss his birthday, whether it’s a business trip or for work, and besides, he's got you now" he turned around and flashed you a quick smile.
"Yeah," you mutter sadly while he kisses your cheek and waves goodbye to you.
You sighed at the earlier memory, but you weren't going to let it get your spirits down, especially when heeseung’s room was now decorated from head to toe. You smiled to yourself at the finished product taking a picture and sending it to your husband since he couldn't be there.
Now all that was left to do was wait for the birthday boy.
Heeseung trudged up the stone path to his house, sighing loudly when he saw the empty parking lot, which was a sign that his dad wasn't home.
"Seven years in a row," he mumbled sadly as tears welled in his eyes. He's not sure why he even still cared if his dad celebrated his birthday with him or not.
You'd think after seven years of hating his dad, he'd be over it by now, but he wasn't.
He remembers all those years ago when his mother did her best to make him feel loved going as far as inviting all his friends over to celebrate his birthday, but no matter how many people showed up, nothing could replace the absence of his father, not even the outrageous amount of gifts he received could replace that relationship he so desperately wanted with his dad.
Heeseung doesn't even know when it all started. All he knew was one day, he was a small child enjoying picnics at the park every Sunday after church, and the next moment he was a young teen, and his mom had turned into an alcoholic once she found out her husband was cheating on her, and just like that, everything fell to pieces and the perfect family was ruined all because of his piece of shit father.
Unfortunately, since heeseung was so young back then, he didn't have a choice in who he wanted to take custody of him after the divorce, and sadly there was no chance of him living with his mom. She didn't have enough money and a stable home for him to even stay in, so naturally, he was stuck with his father for the time being.
But now that he's a full-grown adult, he could make his own decisions about where he wanted to live, but stupidly enough, he was waiting and hoping that his father would change and that he would somehow care about him the way he used to but after two years of hoping heeseung had given up and decided to take his life into his own hands.
Which was probably not the best choice, but he needed money to move sooner than later, and a nine-to-five just wasn't going to cut it, especially cause he was secretly helping his mom get by cause, of course, his mother’s well being was no concern of his fathers, So naturally heeseung had resorted to the quickest way to make loads of money by selling drugs, betting, and racing illegally. It wasn't safe, but it was a safe bet to get him where he needed to be, and that was out from under the roof of his heartless father.
Especially right now, he's never wanted to leave so bad the fact that his dad had the fucking audacity to remarry was baffling to heeseung. He had the perfect wife, and he fucked it up for some random woman that he'd never see again, and that angered heeseung to the point that he couldn't even fathom he couldn't believe that his precious mother was brought down and reduced to absolutely nothing at the hands of his own father the thought made him feel sick.
And now that his father was doing the same thing with you made him feel even more sick. He never saw you as his mother. That’s for sure no one could ever replace her, not in a million years, but he could tell you were a good girl, and you were trying, which he appreciated. Even though he didn't show it, and even so, you still did your best and put up with his attitude to bring the family together, and you just had this glow that could change the whole atmosphere from dull and uninteresting to happy and cheerful, something his father didn't deserve he doesn't deserve your kindness because even after he fucked up with his first wife he didn't learn from his mistakes cause he was still going out behind your back every single night.
Heeseung wanted to tell you so badly about his dad’s unholy doings, but he didn't know if that was his secret to tell, so he stayed quiet. But right now, he didn't really care about respecting his father's privacy anymore cause not only was he cheating on his own son's birthday, but he was also out cheating behind your back, just like the old days.
You didn't deserve such treatment in heeseung's eyes. You deserved a real man, someone who could appreciate you for all your efforts and hard work, someone who could be there for you instead of leaving you home alone for ten hours a day, someone who could love you the right way.
Heeseung feels so terrible for even thinking about you like that, but fuck, it was impossible for him not to. You were the perfect wife. Quite literally, everything about you was ideal for him.
He could see himself in his father's position so easily coming home from work to be greeted by you with warm hugs and kisses and a hot meal waiting for him on the table.
Except with him, it would be so different. He would answer all your calls, he would never come home late without telling you first, he'd give you massages when you were tired, and he would appreciate you for every little thing that you do.
Cause that's what you deserved, not a pathetic excuse for a man like his father.
As he got closer and closer to the door typing in the security code, he hadn't realized it yet, but his tears had subsided, and maybe that's all it took was for his dad to miss his birthday one last time cause as he took his shoes off at the front door he didn't have that heavy feeling in his gut anymore if anything it felt like a weight had been lifted and he could finally let go.
This felt like the last time his dad had to prove himself, and when heeseung came home to an empty parking lot, he accepted the fact that his father would never care about him the same way again, and as much as that hurt him in the beginning, it also felt like a relief cause now he didn't have to hang onto any false hope how could he when his own father gave him absolutely nothing to hang onto.
He was finally free, and he accepted his fucked up reality for what it was, something he wished he would have done years ago.
But, at least he can say he tried cause he really fucking did, no matter how painful it had been.
The house was oddly quiet normally. You would have been running down the stairs to greet him, but you were nowhere in sight, which made him frown.
He'd never ever ever ever admit to you that he liked it when you greeted him, that he liked it when you cooked his favorite dishes and liked how you worried about him and his safety when he was out late.
Cause god knows he loves all those things about you. Sometimes he'd leave the house just to hear you say bye, and he knows that sounds pathetic, but it's true.
He hated that he couldn't reciprocate your cheerful attitude. He wanted to so bad, and he almost slipped up so many times, but he was afraid that once that happened, there would be no going back. He was already basically in love with you at this point, and if he had to engage with you every day in a friendly manner, he'd be a goner, so instead, he gave you the cold shoulder and acted harshly towards you and it hurt him to know that he was hurting you, but if he ever acted on his desires for you he knows he'd ruin the family just like his father did, and he never wanted to be like his father ever.
He quietly made his way to the kitchen keeping his noise to a minimum, assuming you must have been tired and had gone to sleep early.
He decided to eat one of the apples you had bought from the market the other day. You had been talking about how good they were, and he remembered the sad look on your face when his stupid ugly, nasty father rejected them, saying. "I OnLy eaT oRgaNic fRuiT."
Oh, how heeseung wished he could have stuffed all those apples down his dad's throat at that very moment.
As heeseung bit into the apple, a smile unknowingly spread across his face. You were right. They were delicious, or maybe it was just cause you bought them, who really knows, but he enjoyed every last bite of it before throwing the core into the trash barrel and jogging upstairs to wash up for bed, not knowing that he was about to nearly have a heart attack after he opened his door.
"Surprise!" You popped out from hiding behind his door and held a cake with two big candles reading twenty-one on it. "Happy birthday, heeseung!" You smiled brightly.
His eyes went as wide as saucers as they scanned all the decorations. There were white, green, and purple balloons decorating his ceiling, and on the cake was his favorite cartoon character, buzz light year.
He couldn't do it.
He couldn't treat you harshly anymore, not after something like this. How could he?
This was far more than anything he could ever ask for, and he couldn't help but tear up. How did you know he loved Toy Story? His dad didn't even know that, not that that's saying much, but still, he couldn't believe that someone actually paid enough attention to him to even notice.
His silence was making you nervous, but before you could start overthinking, he quickly blew out the candles and set the cake on his nightstand, pulling you into one of the tightest hugs you've ever felt.
"Thank you, y/n, thank you so much," he cried on your shoulder, and you were shocked. You were not expecting this type of reaction from him, but you thoroughly enjoyed it and quickly hugged him back.
"You're welcome, birthday boy" you ruffled his hair, and it was difficult for you not to cry as well. Your son was finally hugging you for the first time since you met.
You rubbed his back gently as his cries started to die down a bit, and he pulled away from the hug, looking at you with teary eyes. It took everything in him not to kiss you right now, and he's thankful that you broke eye contact with him first. Otherwise, he probably would have done something really stupid. "Come on, let's open your presents" you wiped the tears off his cheeks, and he smiled before closing his door and joining you on his bed. "Okay, first one," you handed him the box excitedly. It was a Ferrari Lego set wrapped in Toy Story themed paper.
He didn't want to ruin your beautiful wrapping, but he couldn't contain his excitement as he ripped the paper off, gasping when he saw what was in his hands. "You didn't have to. How did you know?" You giggled at his reaction and nudged his shoulder playfully.
"Mothers know these kinds of things" he froze when you said that, being reminded of what this actually was a mother and son celebrating a birthday. He realized he was painting a different picture of what was actually happening inside his head, a more romantic one, so he calmed down his excitement while silently reminding himself that you only thought of him as your stepson, nothing more, nothing less. "Besides, your whole room is full of legos" you pointed to his shelf with all his little figurines, and he smiled at that, happy that at least someone paid attention to him.
"Thank you!" you felt saddened that he still hadn't called you mom yet, but your husband was right. It's the small wins that count. Heeseung would come around soon enough, you thought, especially after tonight.
"Okay, next!" You handed him another big box, and you couldn't wait for his reaction to this one.
"What did you get me?" He asked with a teasing smile. Honestly, being like this in front of you was easy for him. He felt light whenever you were around. Everything was just so carefree and comfortable. That's one of the many things he loved about you. Even if you two never spoke properly before, this felt natural, and he knew it did for you, too. He knows all the effort you put in to get closer to him, so he knew this meant a lot to you too, and he was grateful cause that let him know you cared and you didn't just give up on him like his parents did no matter how many times he treated you rough you were always patient with him which made him wonder how his worthless dad was lucky enough to get a girl as perfect as you.
"Open it and see" your cheeks hurt from smiling so much, but you were just so happy that he was finally opening up to you and letting you in. It made you feel so much joy that he trusted you to show you his real emotions. This moment meant the world to you, and you'd definitely never forget it.
"No way!" He stared at you in shock. "You're freaking crazy," he said, getting choked up as he examined the headphones.
You're not sure if he was crying cause of the present or the fact that he was finally celebrating this day with someone after so long, but it didn't matter to you as long as he was happy. "Do you like it?" You side-hug him and lean on his shoulder.
"Of course, y/n," he sniffles. "I love it" you leaned up, watching the smile that never left his face until he turned to look you dead in the eyes. "I love you" he used the opportunity to slip those words in just to let you know he knew you'd think of it in a mother-son way, but he didn't care as long as he got to tell you before he left.
Those words nearly brought tears to your eyes. That was even better than him calling you mom. You smiled brightly. You were so happy, and you couldn’t wait to tell your husband the news.
"I love you too" you quickly pecked his cheek as you stood up from his bed to grab the cake. "How about some cake?" He looked at you and nodded. "Come on," you said in a whisper and gestured downstairs.
"Can we eat it here?" He asks sheepishly, and if you didn't know any better, you'd think he was turning five and not twenty-one from his childish request, but who were you to say no to eating cake in bed?
He sat back on his bed and tucked his feet under him while the bed dipped down next to him from your weight. He swiped his finger along the cake, gathering some frosting and licking it off his finger. "Good?" You ask, laughing at the way he decided to eat it without a fork.
"Yeah," he mutters shyly as you do the same, tasting the sweet frosting and humming at its delicious taste nodding in agreement with him.
You both ate the chocolate cake until there was barely anything left, and he sat it back down on his nightstand before he joined you on the bed again.
"You don't know how much this means to me," he whispered and trailed off while playing with his fingers nervously.
He looked like he wanted to say more, so you waited patiently for him to continue like you always had.
"This was the best birthday ever," he breathed out and looked at you with an unreadable expression.
"I'm so happy to hear that" you smiled genuinely at him and gently patted his shoulder.
Before you could even register what was happening, he was leaning in and kissing you.
It was if time had stopped.
You were paralyzed when you felt his lips on yours. You couldn't react from your state of shock as your eyes widened. He continued kissing you, tilting his head slightly and brushing his lips over yours.
When he placed his hand on your knee, you finally were able to react to the situation, and you pushed him back roughly by his shoulders. "What the hell are you doing?" You wiped his saliva off your mouth and stood up, distancing yourself away from him as you caught your breath.
He immediately hung his head low, knowing that he had messed up big time. You could hear him sniffling lightly. "I'm sorry," he whispered as his voice cracked. "Y/n, I didn't mean to." He looked at you with tears now trickling down his face. "I-I don't know what came over me, I'm sorry" he got off his bed and reached for you, but you backed away from him further, and his heart ached when he saw the pure look of utter disgust on your face.
Your heart felt like it was about to leap out of your chest from how fast it was beating. You had no idea what to even think. Your mind was blank as you rushed out of his bedroom and into yours, locking the door behind you just in case he tried to follow you.
You curled up in bed and let the silence take over, trying to make sense of what the hell just happened.
As you were lost in thought, you heard a few soft knocks on the door, and you jumped slightly. "Y/n, please don't be mad at me," he pleaded softly, and you could hear the hurt in his tone. "Please…” he whispered shakily, and you heard a soft thud on the door when he rested his forehead against it.
For the next three minutes or so, you could hear him quietly sobbing outside your door, and you were torn on what to do. Your stepson had just kissed you out of the clear blue.
You didn't know if you should talk to him about it or not. Maybe he had been smoking and just made a mistake, but you can’t remember smelling any smoke.
You ruffled your hair in frustration and did the first thing that came to your mind.
You tried phoning your husband. Maybe he could give you some answers.
You just sighed when you heard the dial tone.
Of course, he didn't answer like usual it annoyed you that he could never answer his phone because of work. You knew he was more than likely in a meeting, and he couldn't be disturbed, but every time you needed him, he was never there. You knew that’s what you were getting into when you married such a busy man, but that didn’t make it any less upsetting.
You tossed your phone to the side and sighed loudly. You could still hear heeseung’s faint sniffles from behind the door.
"I know there’s no excuse for what I did, but for what it's worth, you made this birthday the best one yet" he dragged his index finger down the length of the door. "G-goodnight, y/n" he walked back to his room and lied on his bed, feeling absolutely terrible about himself. Not only did he kiss you without permission, but he also kissed a married woman. "What was I thinking?" He mumbled quietly into his pillow.
He knew exactly what he was thinking, and he let his emotions get the best of him, but it was so hard to control it when you looked at him so fondly. How could he not get emotional when you had set up all those things just for his birthday? How could he not get emotional when you remembered the things that he liked?
It's been almost a decade since he felt those types of emotions, and he wasn't ready to feel those things again, especially not with you, especially when he couldn't control his feelings for you.
All those thoughts, feelings, and emotions came over him so fast that he didn’t have time to second guess his actions, but as soon as his lips were no longer on yours, he realized that he had made an irreversible mistake.
The last thing he saw before he cried himself to sleep was his leftover cake on the nightstand.
You woke up in the morning, and unfortunately, the first thought that came to mind was last night. You frustratedly massage at your temples, trying to rub out the headache while looking at the alarm clock that read 8:27am.
You turned to your husband and wrapped your arms around him, hoping to seek some comfort from him after what happened last night, but he rolled on his side after mumbling something about it being too hot as he scooted away from you.
That was another thing that has been troubling you lately. Maybe you were blowing things out of proportion from all the stress you had been carrying with you recently, but he seemed so standoffish lately he'd barely kiss you unless it was before he left to work, and god forbid you mentioned your worries about heeseung to him, he'd just blow you off, and tell you that heeseung was an adult that could do what he wanted.
But the worse part was you couldn't remember the last time he took you on a date or the last time he made love to you, and getting married only seemed to create distance between you both, and you hated it. You felt so alone being cooped up in the house all day. Sure, you'd go shopping sometimes, but that only took your mind off of things for a little while.
And heeseung never talked to you, so that made you feel even more alone, and after last night everything kind of just hit you like a ton of bricks. You felt more isolated than you ever have, and you had no one to talk to. You moved far from your parents, and the time zones were completely different. You hadn't contacted your friends in years, and now it was just you all alone by yourself to figure out what you should do after your stepson thought it would be okay to kiss you, and your husband was practically ignoring your needs as his wife.
This whole time you've been so worried about getting the mother approval stamp from heeseung that you barely even had time to focus on your life with your husband, and now that you realized that, it felt awful.
"What do I do?" You whisper as tears well in your eyes, sobbing quietly so you wouldn’t wake your sleeping husband.
For the whole day, heeseung didn't even think about leaving his room. He just couldn't face you after what he did last night.
Remembering the look on your face was enough to have him curled up in bed until midnight.
Once he saw all the lights were shut off, that's when he decided to leave. He made his way to the door, and he almost shirked when he saw you lying on the sofa all by yourself.
He tiptoed to the door, praying you wouldn't wake up, and to his luck, you didn't. He hastily put his shoes on and haphazardly wore his jacket and went to his secret racing spot.
You stirred in your sleep. Once you heard the door shut, you must have passed out while watching tv again. "Babe?" You called out, but you got no answer. You turned the tv off and went to your bedroom to see your husband fast asleep. "He didn't wake me up?" You mumbled you were once again waiting for him to come home from work, but you fell asleep, and he didn't even think to wake you up before going to bed.
Which reminds you, if he wasn't the one leaving, then that must have meant it was heeseung, and it was past midnight since your talk with him over breakfast. He seemed to understand your concern for him being out so late and made it a point to come home no later than ten.
So why was he leaving past midnight again?
You wanted to call him and tell him to bring his butt home, but after last night you're not sure where he stood with you or where you stood with him, to be honest.
Heeseung didn't want to leave past midnight and make you worry, but after what happened the night of his birthday, he figured you didn't care about him coming or going cause he made you mad, and he hated knowing that he ruined the little relationship you had both formed just as quickly as it happened.
But if he looked on the bright side, at least now, you probably hated him and wouldn't try to get close to him anymore, so that was a good thing. Maybe that would help him suppress his feelings for you, and besides, he'd be leaving soon anyway, so how you felt about him didn't really matter.
He was going to use the money he made from his nightly races and drug deals to move out. He now had more than enough to afford his own place and live alone comfortably.
Of course, his dad wanted him out a lot sooner and would be more than happy to buy heeseung his own house to get him out of his hair, but heeseung didn't want anything to do with his father once he was gone.
Everything that happened in this house he wanted to be a thing of the past, even if that included you.
Sure, it was a cop-out move to just avoid what happened that night, but in his mind, there wasn't a need to address that situation again. He fucked up, and that was the end of it.
That wasn't the only reason he wanted to move though his dad played the bigger role in that, and now after that incident with you, it was fuel for him to leave even sooner than he had originally planned.
He closed his eyes as a few tears rolled down his cheek, and the crowd roared his name as he revved his engine.
And as soon as the two black and white checkered flags were raised, he pressed his foot on the gas, going full speed ahead, pushing all his worries down just like his gas peddle, even though he knew they would all surface again and haunt him once he reached the finish line.
Of course, you couldn't get any sleep cause heeseung was still out, and it was now three in the morning, not to say you would have been able to get any sleep with your husband snoring loudly next to you anyways.
You quietly got out of bed and put your robe on. You walked downstairs and poured yourself a glass of wine, sitting on the sofa, waiting for heeseung to come home.
It wasn't long before the door was creaking open, and you heard the familiar jingle of heeseung’s keys.
He turned around and twisted the knob so he could shut the door silently.
You cleared your throat, and he nearly jumped out of his shoes as he slowly turned around with a grimace on his face. "Mind telling me what you've been up to?" You traced the rim of your now empty glass as you crossed your leg over the other.
"S-s-sorry, I won't do it a-again," he mumbled as he hung his head low and kicked his shoes off at the door.
"What exactly is it that you won’t be doing again?" You asked and slowly held the cup to your lips, taking a small sip of the alcoholic drink.
He gulped nervously from your stern tone. "Just hanging out late with some friends," he lied. He didn't have any friends, not since his parents divorced.
You hum and nod your head. "Do these friends happen to smoke?" You questioned.
How the hell did you know that? "Yes," there was no point in lying. He wouldn't want to make you more upset.
You pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed. "What did I tell you about being out past midnight?"
"I know, and I'm sorry," he mumbles. "I didn't think you'd care" he bit his lip nervously.
"Why wouldn't I care? You're my son," his expression hardened at your words.
"Please stop saying that," he whispered shakily.
"What's wrong? I know I'm not your biological mother, but I'm trying here" you pushed down the lump in your throat and ignored the ache in your heart as he said those words to you.
"You just don't get it, do you? That's just the thing, you're not my mom, and I'll never see you as my mom" he clenched his jaw in annoyance.
Now you couldn't even pretend that didn't hurt like hell that's all you ever wanted was for him to call you mom but the way those words fell from his mouth so carelessly broke your heart. "W-what did you say?" Your voice now matched him with a shakiness that made him instantly regret what he said.
He came closer to you, wrapping your frail body in his arms. The smell of smoke invaded your senses as you inhaled sharply. "No, no, no, that's not what I meant," he whispered as your shoulders shook in his hold. "You know what, screw it" he pulled back and stared into your eyes intensely. "I'll never see you as my mom because," he took a deep breath before continuing. "Because I like you" his bottom lip quivered, and you could feel his body shaking slightly. "I know it's wrong, and I swear I tried not to, b-but I just couldn't help it, and on my birthday, I just couldn't control how I felt. It's the first time someone has shown me any type of affection in years, and I-"
You cut him off. This was nonsense. He was speaking. There's no way that's how he truly felt. "You never even talked to me before then" you pulled away from the hug and waited for him to explain.
"I know," he whined out. "But that's why I didn't want to get close to you 'cause this whole time I've had…" he trailed off, but you got the point. "And on my birthday, you just" he looked down at his feet, embarrassed and ashamed to even be telling you this. "You made me feel special, and I haven't felt that in a long time." He whispered.
You looked at him with a million questions swirling around in your mind, but you asked the burning one. "What about your father? He's great to you. Surely he makes you feel special" you tried to make sense of what heeseung was saying, but you couldn't wrap your head around it, and getting angry wouldn’t help, so you spoke calmly while hoping to get some answers.
He just scoffed at your words and shoved his hands into his pockets. "He didn't even wish me a happy birthday." He poked his inner cheek with his tongue.
A look of shock overtook your features. Of course, you knew your husband wasn't going to be there on his son's special day, but not buying him a gift and not sending him a text was outrageous. "Maybe he was just too busy," you reasoned. There's no way he would not have sent his own son a happy birthday text unless he was busy.
"For the last seven years? I don't think anyone is that busy" he rolled his eyes. "It's obvious what's important to him, and I'm not."
"Don't talk about your father that way. He's a great man and a great husband, and you're just being ungrateful right now. He's working himself to death to take care of us both," heeseung just gave you a sad smile.
If you had any idea.
"If you say so," he wasn't going to argue with you about this. He was afraid he would slip up and spill his dad's secrets, and that would make everything so much worse than it already was.
"Just go to your room, and you're not going out tomorrow." You concluded that was all that needed to be discussed right now.
Without another word, he quietly went to his room and left you stressed out on the couch with so many unanswered questions.
"Honey will you call that deadbeat son of ours from his room," your husband joked as he sat at the table.
You just chuckled at his statement, knowing he meant no harm, and went to get heeseung from his room.
You knocked a few times and waited for him to answer. He cracked the door open just a sliver, and you saw his eyes widen slightly. "Yes?" He whispered.
You hated how he almost seemed scared of you after everything, but right now, there was nothing that you could think of to fix this situation between you and him, so you’d just have to be awkward around each other for the time being.
"Dinners ready, and your father wants you to sit with us," you informed him in a soft tone hoping that would help unnerve him, but it didn't seem to work.
"Ok," he said quietly and opened the door, fully exiting his room and coming downstairs with you.
"There he is! Finally decided to crawl out of that den of yours," heeseung sighed while sitting at the table. He knew this was going to be absolute torture. He was only doing it cause he knew you wanted to. "So your mother told me you've been smoking, is that true?"
You gasped in shock. This was not how you wanted him to bring this up. Tonight was just supposed to be a simple, peaceful dinner, nothing more, nothing less.
You shook your head and signaled for your husband to stop, and heeseung looked at you with a tinge of hurt on his face. Not believing the fact that you had told his secret.
Apparently, your husband didn't get the memo. "So are you going to answer, or do I have to beat it out of ya" his father joked, but neither you nor heeseung was laughing.
You smiled awkwardly and took a sip of your lemonade, staying quiet.
"What does it matter?" Heeseung responded harshly.
"To be honest, I don't care what you do, but your mother here is worried about you," he said while cutting into his steak.
"Babe," you scolded him for his choice of words. You knew he was just frustrated and didn't mean them, but you still acknowledged how inappropriate that was to say. "Sorry he's been drinking," you murmured to heeseung, but he knew even if his dad wasn't drinking, he would still say those hurtful words to him without thinking twice about it.
"There's nothing to worry about" heeseung dismissed the topic from going any further.
"See honey? I told you it's fine" you just sat there uncomfortably for the rest of the dinner. Maybe it was just you, but he didn't seem to care about his own son's reckless behavior, and it left an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. "What I am worried about, though, is when you're going to get a girlfriend. I mean, you're a grown man, and you haven't dated anyone." He chuckled.
Heeseung glanced at you feeling embarrassment course throughout his veins.
You were surprised to hear that. Heeseung was a good guy. From what you know, he was intelligent and interested In making music, plus he had handsome features, so you were bewildered at the new information.
"Isn't that something, dear? He's twenty-one and doesn't have a girlfriend."
"Well, that's his choice, babe. Maybe he just hasn't found the right one," you try to ease the tension of the conversation, hoping heeseung would loosen up a bit, but he didn't.
The conversation started out in the wrong direction, to begin with, but now it was completely lost.
"I suppose, but he hasn't even had sex yet" this was the first time you had ever heard your husband talk in such a manner, and it was revolting, to say the least, especially at the dinner table.
Has he always been like this? You wondered.
"Dad, we can have this conversation another time," heeseung gritted through his teeth. He knew his dad was trying to get under his skin, not to say he cared, but heeseung just didn't want you thinking differently of him for being a virgin. He didn't want to think he was any less of a man.
Of course, his dad wasn't going to listen to that, not when there was a perfectly good opportunity to humiliate his son. "Hell, he hasn't even had his first kiss yet," he chuckled, and heeseung's mouth parted as he stared at his dad in shock, unable to comprehend why he'd want to put him to shame like that in front of you.
Heeseung looked at you scanning your face for your reaction, and you could have sworn you saw tears in his eyes before he got up from the table and ran off to his room.
"Why would you say that?" You asked, knowing that you weren't the only one that could obviously see that heeseung was upset when he left.
"Say what? It's harmless fun. He'll get over it" he took a drink of his beer before shrugging his shoulders.
"That didn't look harmless to me, and it wasn't funny," you said sternly while throwing your napkin on the table.
You may not have been on good terms with heeseung, but he didn't deserve to have his love life aired out for your husband's drunken amusement.
You could only imagine how embarrassed heeseung felt.
You stood up from the table and headed to your room as well. You couldn’t believe he had to ruin the evening. "Honey, wait, I'm sorry," you heard him drunkenly apologizing, but you continued on to your room, too stressed and tired to put up with him or anything else right now.
After you finished washing up, you went to check on heeseung. As hard as it was going to be to speak to him, you just wanted to make sure he was okay after what happened.
You knocked on his door, hoping he hadn't already gone to sleep. You waited a few seconds after knocking, and you didn't get an answer.
Maybe he was listening to music, you thought and cracked the door slightly. He was lying in his bed listening to music, just like you had originally thought, and he was wearing the headphones you bought him for his birthday. You smiled at the heartwarming sight before opening the door further and revealing yourself.
His head shot up to the door when he noticed the light from the hallway shining into his dimly lit room. When he saw it was you, he quickly took off his headphones and straightened out his blankets, running his fingers through his hair, trying to tidy up a bit.
"Can I come in?" He just looked at you and nodded his head. You shut the door behind you and sat on his bed, pushing away the thoughts of the last time you were in his room on his bed. "Sorry about him," you apologized on your husband's behalf.
"It's not your fault" he scooted away from you and hugged his knees to his chest. "It wouldn't be the first time he's done that" the words accidentally slipped from his mouth, and he panicked.
"What do you mean?" You ask him, puzzled.
Heeseung was quick to come up with an excuse. You didn't know much about his relationship with his father. From the outside looking in, they seemed like they got along pretty well, and heeseung knew what he said just now would make you ask questions, and those questions he didn't want to answer cause ultimately they would reveal what his dad was doing to you this whole entire time.
"Uhh, you know, just the teasing and all" he smiled uncomfortably and hoped you'd buy that lame excuse, and it seemed like you did when you nodded your head in understanding.
"Just so you know, it's nothing to be ashamed of" you were going to reach your hand out and comfort him, but you decided it'd be best if you didn't.
"I don't want to talk about it," he said lowly, and you sighed in defeat as you sat up and walked out of his room. If he didn't want to talk about it, you weren't going to force him to. You assumed he needed space, and you were more than willing to give it to him.
You went back to your shared bedroom to find your husband already lying in bed waiting for you. "Honey, I'm sorry," he apologized again while you got into bed next to him. "I'll talk to him tomorrow. He's probably upset with me," he mumbled in the crook of your neck as he wrapped his arms around you.
You cuddle up closer to him, and he presses soft kisses all over your neck, tickling you. "Babe!" You shouted when he started tickling your sides playfully.
"What?" He answers back as if he's unaware of what he was doing to you.
You giggled and squirmed, trying to get out of his hold.
"I gotcha now," he teased and continued tickling you while laughing at the noises you were making.
Heeseung could hear you both talking and laughing. He hated how his room was right next to your guy’s, and he could hear literally everything.
He turned up his music to full blast, drowning out everything. The last thing he wanted was to hear you being intimate with his father.
His father didn't deserve to see your body, heeseung thought. You should have been in his bed making love to him. He was confident his father couldn't please you the way he could. Hell, it wouldn't even be a comparison.
If heeseung had a chance with you, he'd give you anything you wanted. He'd take his precious time with your delicate body, trace his fingers over every dip and curve of your beautiful figure whisper praises in your ear about how good you make him feel. He'd stare directly into your eyes and tell you how much he loves you and how precious you are to him as he slowly strokes inside you while you moan his name and clasp your hands tighter with his.
You should be in his room right now with him.
Little did heeseung know you were unfortunately not getting intimate with his father cause after the little tickling session, he passed out from all the alcohol he drank earlier in the evening, leaving you to fall asleep unsatisfied for the countless night in a row.
A few weeks had passed now, and things were starting to get better with your husband. He was taking you out more and spending more time with you, which was great, and it kept your mind clear.
Unfortunately, things were the same with heeseung, and even still, you had no clue what to do. You wanted to tell your husband, but you had no idea what kind of mess that would have caused, so you ignored it entirely, and heeseung went back to his old ways of giving you the cold shoulder, which you were happy about cause that made you feel better about not addressing the situation somehow you twisted it that if he wasn't talking to you you weren't going to talk to him and you convinced yourself this was his fault for shutting you out.
Besides, he hasn't made a move on you since, so there wasn't anything to talk about, right?
Finally, you got your much-needed break from everything that has happened this past month, and you couldn't have asked for anything better than to be where you are right now, hugged up to your husband on the couch, watching movies as he stroked your hair.
Your guy’s movie marathon was interrupted by heeseung making a surprise visit to the living room. He scoffed and made his way to the couch, handing his father his key to the house before retreating back to his room.
You eyed the little transaction, and you furrowed your brows, looking at the house key that sat on the entertainment stand in the living room.
"Babe, what was that about?" You wondered why heeseung was giving up his house key.
"Oh, he didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what?" You say, growing more confused by the second.
"He's moving out next week," he told you as if it was just something as small as a story from one of his co-workers or something.
You sat up abruptly. "What?! No, he didn't tell me" you knew things weren’t going great with you and heeseung right now, but you didn't expect him to keep something this important from you. "Why didn't you tell me?" Now that was the strange part he didn't know about yours and heeseung's falling out, so why would he assume heeseung would tell you when he didn't even speak to you?
"Cause it's not a big deal" he shrugged and tried to hug you, but you backed away.
"It is a big deal. You know how hard I've been trying to get close to him, and you didn't even think to tell me he would be moving?" You raised your voice slightly.
"What does it matter?"
You couldn't sit still any longer. You got up from the sofa and went to heeseung's room. Maybe he could give you a better explanation than the bullshit your husband just gave you. "Why didn't you tell me you’re leaving?" Your tone was still harsh, but it wasn't aimed toward heeseung.
"Didn't think you'd care" he disregarded the way you just stormed into his room without knocking.
"Why would you think that?" Your expression softened, as well as your tone.
"We haven't talked in weeks, so what's the point? For all practical purposes, I'm not even here," he angrily shoved his belongings into his suitcase.
You knew it was your fault why he felt like that, and it made you feel terrible. You could no longer deny the fact that your and Heeseung's relationship diminished because you were not handling what happened like an adult. "I'm sorry. It's all my fault."
Fuck fuck fuck.
He wanted to punch and kick himself for thinking you looked cute apologizing right now. That's not what this is about, heeseung focus. He took a deep breath and put on his hard exterior once again. "I forgive you," he said with no emotion at all.
He couldn’t understand why you’d take all the blame, though, cause he definitely had a part to play.
You watched him packing, and you still felt guilty for everything, even if he had forgiven you. "So that's just it then?" You asked sadly, you knew at this point having a mother-and-son relationship was out of the picture, but you’d still miss him when he was gone.
He sighed and zipped up his bag, opening a smaller one for his toiletries. "What do you want from me, hmm? I already told you this," he pointed back and forth between the two of you. "Is never going to happen. I can't give you what you want, and you can't give me what I want."
"Heeseung, I don't know what to say. I want to tell you I'm sorry, but I'm not. I'm a happily married woman, and you have to understand that," you tried to explain to him in a way he'd understand without hurting his feelings.
"Exactly, and I can accept that, so why can't you accept the fact that this picture-perfect family idea of yours is never going to work? I'm moving out, and now you can live the rest of your life happily with that-" he had to bite his tongue to stop himself from talking and saying something he shouldn't.
"Honey?" You heard your husband calling you from downstairs, and heeseung sighed. You wanted to finish listening to what he was saying, but you opted to leave his room and go to your husband.
"Fuck” heeseung said under his breath when you walked out.
He wanted to let you know what was happening, but he was scared. He didn't want to hurt your feelings, or worse, what if you didn't believe him?
He shook his head and finished packing. It wasn't his mess to sort out. He tried to convince himself.
Everyone glossed over what happened over the next week, and so did you heeseung was leaving today, and there wasn't anything you could do or say to stop him.
It was in the evening, and you were supposed to be going out to dinner with your husband, but he wasn't answering your calls. He said he'd be ready by six, yet it was eight, and he didn't even bother to call you to inform you what was taking him so long, and you started to get worried.
Tears unknowingly pricked your eyes and cascaded down your face. Everything had gotten to you, and you couldn't contain your emotions anymore and finally let out all your frustrations.
You sobbed into the palms of your hands while sitting at the kitchen table. Everything seemed to be going wrong the past month, and you had no idea how to fix it heeseung was basically done with you, and your husband didn't even seem to notice how stressed you were lately. You were hoping to talk to him over dinner, and now that fell through, so here you sat sobbing like an overgrown baby waiting for your beloved husband to come home.
To make matters even worse, when you looked up, you met eyes with heeseung, and he was just staring at you.
You must have missed him coming down the stairs while you were crying hysterically.
You quickly grabbed a napkin and dried your tears. Obviously, it was too late to hide them, but you still tried.
Heeseung dropped his moving boxes at the door and made his way over to the kitchen. He didn't hesitate for a moment to lean down and wrap his arms securely around your shaking shoulders. "Shhh, it’s okay" he kissed the crown of your head and rested his cheek there while fluttering his eyes shut.
You didn’t have it in you to tell him off for his overly affectionate gesture, so you let him comfort you instead.
You grabbed his hand and held it tightly. You didn't have to tell him why you were crying. He saw his mother in the same position you were in right now, all beautiful and dressed up, ready for the big date that never came.
"I'm going to tell you something that I know I shouldn't, but you deserve to know," he whispered and squeezed your shoulder reassuringly. "My father is cheating on you" heeseung's heart rate increased as he finally spilled his father's filthy secret to you.
"What?!" You pushed his arms off you, and he stumbled back slightly while you stood up from your seat. "Why would you say that? He would never" you defend your husband. Little did you know he would, and he was at this very moment.
Heeseung hung his head low. "That's the same thing I thought when my mother told me," his voice cracked. "I know it's hard to accept it. I've been there before, but it's true."
"No," You felt more fresh tears welling in your eyes. "Take that back right now. How could you ever speak about him that way" this was absolutely preposterous, you thought.
"Because it's true, I wanted to tell you for so long, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings, okay?" He stepped closer to you, and you let him engulf you in a hug, but you didn't hug him back.
"How do you know?" You asked, nibbling on your lip. You wanted to fight back, but something about the look on heeseung's face made you feel like he was telling you the truth, and it made you feel sick.
"Call him and ask him where he is," he responds quietly. You broke away from the hug.
"No, I get it now. You're just trying to break us up 'cause you can't stand the fact that I don't want to be with you" that had to be it cause the man you married would never cheat on you, and you knew he loved you, too much to do that to you.
"What?!" Heeseung said, shocked that you would not only accuse him of lying but the fact that you would think that lowly of him. "I would never lie to you, y/n that's not the type of guy I am, and what would I gain from lying to you? I know you'd take his word over mine any day, and besides, I'm leaving today, so even if I was trying to turn you against my father, that'd be pretty stupid given the fact that once I walk out of that door in the next fifteen minutes, you'll probably never see me again."
That was true, but maybe heeseung didn't want you for himself. Maybe he just wanted to ruin your life cause you didn't accept his advances.
He could see the apprehension on your face, and he took the opportunity to further prove his point. "He said he would be home today at six, right?" You just nodded your head. "And he also said he was going to go to work, right?" You nodded once more, feeling a heavy weight settle in your gut. "So if I call his work right now, he should be there, right?" You knew where this was going, and you didn’t like it one bit. You were going to leave and go to your bedroom, but he quickly grabbed your wrist and stopped you from moving.
He let go of you and pulled out his phone, and dialed his dad's work number, putting it on speaker as the phone rang three times before someone picked up. "Hi, could you give me Mr lee's extension? I'm his son, and he's not answering his phone right, and I'm worried" you listen, as whoever was taking the phone call informed heeseung that Mr lee had not been at work today and that he was always off on Sunday. "Oh, okay, thank you. Bye," you stared at heeseung with tears in your eyes.
But you were still in denial. "He's probably just off doing some work elsewhere," you smiled and convinced yourself.
Heeseung couldn't believe how much you were defending his father, but he understood he was the same way when he found out from his mother, but he was going to prove to you that it was true one way or the other. "Y/n, I need you to listen closely to me. I'm doing this for you, okay? I love you, and I don't ever want to see you hurt. I don't want to sit back and watch the next most important woman in my life get reduced to nothing at the hands of my father, not again" it was hard for him to contain his emotions. Talking about this topic was something he thought he had gotten over, but it felt like the wound had never healed, even though he thought it did years ago.
You stood in silence, wrapping your arms around yourself, preparing for what he was about to say. If you were being honest, you had your doubts about your husband a few times, like when he smelled like women's perfume, and he told you he worked around females, so that's why he smelled that way at the time that sounded true, so you went along with it the other time you saw a red stain on his shirt that looked a lot like lipstick, but you thought you were reaching and didn't bring it up to him but now as heeseung was giving you all this information you weren't so sure so instead of telling heeseung off for saying such foul things about his own father you stayed and listened cause deep down you were afraid you had been right all along.
"Remember all the times I always left the table when he came home? It's cause we don't get along. He made it seem that way, so you wouldn't think any less of him, but he knows deep down I hate his guts, and he hates mine. You remember all the times he came home from work late? He was out at the club. Remember all the times he didn't answer his phone or come till the next day? He was off with somebody else while you were waiting at home for him like a good wife" before you could shut him down, he pulled up a picture of your husbands' car in the parking lot of a club, and that's when it felt like your world had come crashing down you had a feeling but you being you just thought you were overthinking all the time, and you stupidly gave your husband the benefit of the doubt when evidently he didn't deserve it.
You were sad, hurt, and upset. "Why would you do that?" You said to heeseung while crying. He just looked at you, mirroring your hurt expression cause this was just as hard for him to relive all over again as it was for you finding out. "You're lying!" You screamed at the top of your lungs. "You're lying!" You pushed his him. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" you hit his chest, punctuating your hurtful words each time your hand came in contact with his body. Tears brimmed in his eyes as he let you weakly pound his chest. Eventually, he grabbed your wrist and stopped you pulling you into a hug instead. "You're lying," you choked out through sobs as you let him engulf you in a hug. This time, you hugged him back in your weak and vulnerable state.
You couldn't believe everything was a lie right from the beginning. You don't blame heeseung for not telling you sooner. You blame yourself for being so stupid and naive to believe such ridiculous lies. You hated yourself for having blind faith in your husband, and you hated your heart for loving him so foolishly that even when things seemed different, you just brushed it off.
Heeseung rubbed your back soothingly to comfort you. "Remember all the times I came down for dinner when he was gone? I did it so you wouldn't feel alone. Remember all those times I came back early? I did it so you wouldn't have to worry about me anymore. Remember all those times when I was here for you, and he wasn't?" You could feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest while he poured his feelings out to you. "If I was in his place, I'd never come home late. If I was in his place, I'd never look at another girl, and if I was in his place, I'd treat you right" he held onto you tighter, giving his words more significance.
He leaned back to look you in the eyes, trailing his hands over your hip bones. "If I was in his place, I'd never make you cry" he scanned your face, and his heart broke for you. You looked lifeless and completely broken as he wiped away your stray tears. It was like he was looking in a mirror at his fourteen-year-old self when his mother told him the same news, except when he found out he had no one to confide in cause his mom practically abandoned him for alcohol and left him in the hands of his abusive father, but he wasn’t going to let you go through the same thing that he did he was going to be that person that was there for you when no one else was he was going to be that person his mother couldn't be for him.
Heeseung thought it was now or never and closed the gap between you two before he could think twice. Besides, no matter the outcome of his actions, he'd be gone tomorrow, but he was here today, he was in this moment, and he was going to make every second of it count.
You responded to the kiss, and in your weakened state, all you wanted was his comfort. It was something you needed more than anything in the world, especially right now.
It felt so right.
No matter how hard you tried to be his mother, you never quite made the cut, and deep down, you knew it was because you never really saw him as your son. You were just too wrapped up in trying to be the perfect wife for your husband that you lost sight of everything, and right now, after everything heeseung had told you, kissing him didn't feel wrong cause you didn't feel like you were kissing your stepson no, you felt like you were kissing a man that loved you and a man that actually cared for you and your well being.
He hummed into the kiss pulling you closer by your waist as he kissed you passionately, slowly, lovingly this was the first time you had ever felt this way from a kiss. You never felt the butterflies in your stomach that you were feeling right now when you kissed anyone else. With heeseung, you could actually feel the love he had for you.
He leaned back and fluttered his eyes open, slowly placing one last loving peck on your lips.
He's been waiting for the moment for far too long. It was definitely worth the wait. He'd live his hellish life all over again just for it to lead to this very moment with just you and him and no other distractions in between.
Your lips were just as soft as he imagined, your kiss was just as electrifying as he daydreamed, and your embrace was everything he ever prayed for. "Come with me," he says out of nowhere. "Get a divorce and leave him live with me. I promise I can take care of you, trust me" he rested his forehead against yours. Everything was happening so fast, and you could barely breathe, but one thing you knew for sure was right now, heeseung had told you the truth you had been searching for, and his embrace made you feel safe. He proved you could trust him, but you don't know if you were ready to move on so quickly you didn't want your emotions getting in the way of making such a big decision, and heeseung seemed to have read your mind.
"We can take this as slow as you want" he gripped your shoulders, leaning down a bit to hold eye contact with you. "Look at me, okay? All I'm asking is for you to come with me, if, a month down the road, you decide you don't want to try with me. I’ll completely understand, but right now, I just can't stand to see you hurt. I can't let that happen to someone I love not again," he meant every word wholeheartedly. He couldn't be there for his mother, but he could be there for you.
You nibbled on your lip in thought you had no money outside of your husband's income, and you couldn't afford to move right now. "Heeseung, I can't." You whisper.
"Why?" He breathed out and placed his hands on your cheeks. “Hmm?”
"I can't afford to move, and I can't go back to my parent's house," you told him your concerns for the first time in months. You felt comfortable speaking your mind out in the open.
"You know how I always go out at night?" You nodded your head as he stroked your cheek softly with his thumb. "I hate for you to find out like this, but I was doing illegal things to make money, and let's just say I could buy you a house twice this size. We could fly to your parent's house and be there in the morning. Whatever you want, I can give to you." He looked at you intensely to prove to you that he was dead serious.
You could feel a headache coming on. This was all too much for you to handle alone, but Heeseung wasn't going to let you handle this alone, not this time. "I couldn't ask that of you."
"I want to give you a life that you deserve, let me" the look in his eyes was indescribable, but if you had to put it in words, it was love mixed with hate, sadness mixed with anger, but behind everything, it was hopeful and sincere. "Let me be the man in your life that my father couldn't be" you didn't need to hear anything more you gave him a quick kiss sealing off his promise and wrapping your arms around him tightly.
"Thank you," you mumbled into the crook of his neck wetting his shirt with your warm tears, but he didn't mind one bit as he reciprocated the hug.
"Anything for you. I got you" he disconnected from the hug and smiled, wiping your tears. "Let's get you all packed, yeah?" He wasn't trying to pressure you, but the sooner you both could leave, the better.
"Wait" you put your hand on his chest, stopping him from going anywhere.
"What's wrong?" He asked softly and rubbed the back of your palm with his thumb.
"I'm scared," you muttered.
"It's okay. I’m here now, and I won’t ever let him hurt you again" he led you upstairs, and you grabbed only your necessities. You didn't want anything that reminded you of your soon to be ex-husband.
Heeseung gave you a reassuring smile to ease your worries as you dropped your bags off at the door.
You both sat in the living room, waiting for him to come home. "It's okay," heeseung whispered and grabbed your hand. "I'll be here every step of the way. You have nothing to worry about" he kissed your hand but quickly distanced himself from you when he heard the front door crack open.
"Hey, isn't this a surprise you guys are actually getting along for once," he said, and it was now clear as day how condescending his tone was, and it only occurred to you now that that's how he always talked to you when it came to you trying to get close with heeseung you can't believe you didn't notice it sooner.
You can't believe he didn't even mention the date you two were supposed to go on. Then again, if heeseung never showed you what your husband was up to, you probably would have summed it up to him just being tired from “work” like you always foolishly had.
"Can we talk?" You ignored his slight jab and walked over to the kitchen heeseung parted his mouth to say something, but you smiled at him, letting him know you were okay.
"Sure" he took off his shoes and followed you to the kitchen smirking at heeseung while doing so.
"Look, I don't want your explanation. All I want is a divorce" you slid the diamond band off your finger and set it on the counter.
"What?" Your ex-husband chuckled incredulously.
"I know exactly what you've been doing behind my back, and I don't want to be with a person like you. I can't live the rest of my life with a liar," your whole body shook with nerves and fear.
"What are you talking about? I haven't been doing anythi-"
"Don't! Just stop!" you yelled at him for the first time ever. "Save it for someone else" you tried to walk past him, but he grabbed you by your wrist heeseung was watching the whole time from the living room, and as soon as his father laid a finger on you, he was quick to stand up and make his way over to you.
"Don't you dare touch her again" you looked up and saw that heeseung had gotten in between you and was shielding you from his dad.
"Oh, so he speaks," his dad chuckled. "Stay out of this boy. It has nothing to do with you" he pointed his finger in heeseung's face.
"It has everything to do with me," heeseung gritted through his teeth. "You heard her what she said. Now leave her alone."
"Watch your tone with me, boy" he balled his fists and got ready to throw a punch at heeseung, and you screamed in fear, but luckily heeseung was quick enough to dodge out of the way.
"Stay back," heeseung said to you before turning back to his father. "Do not make me do this" he stood up to his father, looking down on him from the height difference heeseung had definitely outgrown his father. He was no longer the helpless teen boy that couldn’t defend himself all those years ago. He had grown into a man that was able to stand up for himself and protect the people he loves.
His father didn't listen, and this time, it was heeseung who was raising his fist and landing a powerful punch to his dad's jaw, knocking him straight to the ground.
Heeseung immediately jumped on top of him, pinning him to the ground while beating his face to a pulp with every punch. He could hear his mother's cries, and with every punch, he saw your sad face, and he went into a fit of complete rage, landing every blow, each hit more powerful, Than the last, as he screamed. "No more!" Over and over again. “I’m not letting you hurt me or the people I love anymore!”
You stood there in shock, whimpering with your hands covering your mouth as tears ran down your face. "Heeseung, that's enough" you went closer to him, and he pushed you back slightly and continued to punch his father's face in, pretty soon. It would be unrecognizable. "Heeseung, please stop" when he heard your broken voice, he immediately snapped out of it and turned around to see you crying. He quickly let go of his father's collar and stood up, wrapping you in his arms protectively.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. You could feel him shaking with pure rage, and it scared you, but you knew he'd never do anything to hurt you. "I'm sorry, love.” He spoke gently and stroked your head. “I just don't want him to hurt anyone anymore." He took a deep breath to calm himself.
"It's all okay now," you comforted him and rubbed his back gently.
He sighed and rested his chin on the crown of your head. "It's okay," he reiterated, swaying your body back and forth in his hold" "ready to go home?"
"But your hand" you held his bloody hands, examining the broken skin on his knuckles, and he winced slightly.
"I'm okay for now. Let's just get out of here" he kissed your forehead softly.
You looked at the floor where the man you once called your husband was laid out unconscious, and as you looked at his bloody tattered face, you felt no remorse, not after he tried to not only hurt you but heeseung as well after you found out everything about him you couldn’t feel one ounce of sadness for him.
Heeseung followed your line of vision, and he felt nothing but resentment toward the man he once called his father. "He can take care of himself" heeseung spat on his unmoving body and hooked his arm around your shoulder, and headed to the door. "Are you okay? He didn't hurt you, did he?" Heeseung said with worry.
"No," you whispered and shook your head softly while clutching onto his arm.
“Good” he whispered and kissed your cheek, a faint smile graced heeseung's features, and his eyes lit up as a warm feeling spread throughout his chest. He couldn't put into words how happy he was that you felt comfortable and safe with him.
You grabbed your suitcases and walked out the door hand in hand with heeseung. Once the car was fully loaded with your belongings, he opened the door and helped you inside, buckling your seatbelt and placing one last loving kiss on your temple as you smiled softly at him.
After he got in the driver seat and buckled himself in, he held your hand in his, rubbing soothing circles on your palm, and you're not sure what the future held for you and heeseung, but for right now, you were going to go wherever he takes you.
Cause, after all, it was heeseung that helped you break your unholy ties.
Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate each and every one of you who made it to the end.
For the romantic dialogue prompt 11. “Don’t make me say it. I can’t say the words.” Nat is in love with reader but doesn’t want to say it because she doesn’t think reader will feel the same/she’s insecure and doesn’t think she deserves reader. Ofc reader loves Nat (who wouldn’t?) and they get together and live happily ever after. lots of hurt/comfort
Authors note: sorry its so late, but I hope you enjoy it!
Authors note 2.0: requests are still closed. I’m trying to clear my inbox before opening them again. Thank you for your patience 💖
Word count: 3251 Nat Masterlist Main Masterlist
Natashas heart hammers in her chest as she runs down the compound's various hallways. The quinjet landed only minutes ago so she's racing to make it to the med bay where she knows the team, and therefore you will be.
As she enters through the double doors the sound of Peter sniffling coupled with the crestfallen looks on Tony and Clints faces tell her all her worst fears are coming true, and she almost doesn’t want to face that. But she knows she has to. If not for herself, then for you. She can be strong for you.
“How- how is she?”
Tony lowers his gaze, “Not good. She got hit really hard out there.”
“We honestly didn’t think we’d get her back in time. She's very lucky.” Clint admits, looking at Nat in a way the billionaire had never seen before. If he had to describe it he’d say it was a mix of stern disappointment yet hopeful encouragement. How a person can combine those looks is beyond him, but he's sure it's some sort of signal. A way for the two spies to communicate without words like they so often do.
“Y/ns strong.” the redhead proclaims, trying to calm herself, “She’ll be ok.”
Clint looks away from her then too and she can feel her stomach drop and her mouth go dry at his lack of agreement and comfort. She swallows harshly, desperate to keep her tears at bay. If she doesn't cry then she can act like this doesn’t affect her, like none of this is really happening. You aren’t in some operating room right now hanging on against the odds, fighting for your life. She's not head over heels in love with you, desperate to be yours and be by your side forever…But you are, and she is.
She very much is, and right now she can’t help but feel like an absolute moron. Despite her fears and insecurities she should have risked it. Maybe then she would have had time with you. To hold you, to cherish and love you and get the same from you in return. But now…no, no she can’t think like that. You’ll be ok. You have to be, because if you're not, then she won’t be.
“I’m so sorry Miss Romanoff” Peter whimpers, and her head swivels to look at him, “I really messed up. Y/ns hurt because of me….I’m so so sorry”
Natasha doesn’t know what happened out there, but she knows your affinity for the boy, how you became attached to him nearly the second Tony brought him in. So much so that your protectiveness for him rivals the fatherly instincts the billionaire himself has for the young hero. And she knows Peter, she's been training him, so she knows him better than he even thinks she does. He doesn’t always watch his six and he would never hurt a teammate on purpose, least of all you. This was an accident. Sometimes missions just went wrong, it wasn’t anyone's fault but the enemies and she knows you wouldn’t want Peter to be blaming himself for this.
“Malen'kiy pauk(little spider), Y/n would do anything to keep you safe. Whatever happened was not your fault, because you've done nothing wrong.”
Faster than humanly possible Peter launches himself into her arms, and as his head comes to rest against her shoulder she finally lets her resolve crumble. Hot tears run down her cheeks faster than she ever thought imaginable, and she hopes Peter can't feel the sheer volume that's landing against his neck, though she knows he wouldn't say anything about it even if he did.
“She's hurt really bad” Peter whimpers out through his sobs, “She might be dying”
Natasha desperately shakes her head, “No. She'll pull through.”
A few moments of silence pass before she's brave enough to speak again, “She…she’ll pull through. She has to. I- I need her to be ok.”
Finally Clint comes over and wraps his arms around the two of them. He knows by the way Natasha trembles that she’s close to her absolute breaking point. And he's not sure that she’d be comfortable being that vulnerable in front of Tony and Peter, even if the genius absolutely knew about the not so secret pining. And of course the teen had his own suspicions. Nat was secretive when it came to emotions, and she had her reasons to be. So he’ll do what he can to help her keep some comfort.
She clutches onto the archers shirt as if it were her lifeline, and he tentatively squeezes her shoulder to prove he's there for her. He’ll be her rock whenever she needs him to be, it's been this way since she opened up to him all those years ago and he’ll happily let it stay that way until the very end. He considers it an honor that she trusts him enough to let him see this perceived weaker version of herself.
“Tell me she'll pull through Clint, please.”
He sighs, the answer won’t be what she wants to hear and it will break her further, but he owes the truth to her. He can’t give her false hope. She needs to be prepared. “I wish I could Nat, truly. But she really was in a really bad state when we got her here. If Tony hadn’t flown her here from the quinjet I don’t know if she would have been breathing”
Sure enough a sob escapes her, and her trembling only worsens as Peter all but collapses against her. Clint holds them up to the best of his ability while sparing an urgent glance in Tony's direction. The older man quickly makes his way over to the three and gently loops his arms under Peters.
“C'mon kid. I got ya. Let's get you sitting down, alright?”
Peter only manages to nod as Tony walks away with him, leading him back to where he’d first been sat. Natasha allows Clint to fully envelope her in his embrace then, and she finds the guilt of all the possibilities that could have been between the two of you is crashing down on her shoulders with the weight of cinder blocks.
“I never told her” she whispers into his chest, and he doesn’t ask for clarification because he knows all too well what she means. He'd been trying to convince her to admit her feelings for years now, “I need more time…I just wasn’t ready, but I should have pushed myself. I should have found a way to make her understand even if I can’t say the words.”
He pulls back from her, places his hands on both her shoulders and looks her dead in the eyes, “Then Natasha, if she makes it through this, that's exactly what you do, ok? You march in there and you do whatever you have to to get your chance.”
Her lower lip quivers, “B- but what do I do if she doesn’t? What if…what if I never get my chance because I was a coward?”
“Oh honey” he coos, pulling her back into a hug, “You were scared. Scared to be loved and to be vulnerable. Scared Y/n wouldn't feel the same. Scared that you wouldn’t know what to do. Scared you didn’t deserve her. And all these are normal feelings somebody has in this kinda situation. Unfortunately the circumstances of your past made those fears even worse for you, that doesn’t make you a coward.”
She looks at him, tears streaming down her reddened face with her lower lip trembling. His heart sinks in his chest seeing her like this. So open and with her feelings, so scared to lose you. He gently wipes her cheeks with his calloused thumbs, “You're the strongest and bravest person I know Nat.”
“I second that statement” Tony speaks up from next to the teen, “And I’m lab partners with the Hulk so i know a thing or two about strength.”
His reply gets a small twitch of her lip and roll of her eyes in response, and he knows that with the way she feels right now that those actions were worth more than a Hollywood actor's showstopping grin. And the fact that he was able to gain that response makes him beam with pride. He cheered her up, if only just a tiny smidge, but he’d gladly take it.
Before anything else can be said by anyone the med bays main doors open, and a doctor steps through. Natashas attention is on him at once, and she quickly approaches, “Is Y/n- er, Agent Y/l/n alright?”
“We’ve got her stable now. It was touch and go there for a bit. Her heart stopped on us once but- ” That's all she registers beforese zones out of the conversation. The same words playing on repeat are all she can focus on. Her heart stopped.
You had died. If anything had happened to slow the quinjet down and keep it from bringing you in then the doctors wouldn't have been there to revive you, and instead of worrying in the med bay she would have been mourning your loss at the landing platform. And that fact terrifies her.
She isn’t even aware that she zoned out for as long as she had until Tony's hand grasps her shoulder, “Nat?”
“W- what?” she stutters, blinking her previous thoughts away while looking around, “I’m sorry”
The doctor nods in understanding, “It’s alright. Agent Y/l/n was successfully resuscitated and though she's currently stable she's still in critical condition. She's still sedated, so that coupled with her original trauma will most likely keep her unconscious for at least the rest of today and potentially into tomorrow.”
“But she’ll be ok, right?” she asks, needing to hear something hopeful
“I'm afraid it’s still too early to tell. For now all we can do is wait and see if she makes it through the night. But if she wakes we can properly assess her.”
The Russian can feel her chest tighten, “If…if she wakes? I don’t understand?”
“She acquired a lot of head trauma. Alone that trauma is enough to potentially keep her comatose, but when you add in the use of anesthesia that risk becomes even higher.” he explains, “Now normally we wouldn’t have used any, but with her multiple stab wounds we were left with no other options.”
Her lower lip trembles as she swallows the lump in her throat, “Can I see her? Please?”
He nods, “Follow me”
When she arrives in your room a feeling of nausea fills her. The room is dull, with its lights dimmed and blinds closed but she can still see you clearly. Your skin is paler than normal, lacking its usual glow and she can already see the swelling and bruising settling in on your face, arms and collarbone. The steady beating of the heart monitor is the only noise that fills the small room, and while normally such a noise would put her on edge she finds it calms her this time, because it tells her that you're still here. You're alive.
Tears roll down her cheeks as her hand makes its way to yours, “Y/n, I...I don’t know if you can hear me, but I’m here. I’m right here dorogoy(sweetheart), so please don’t go anywhere.”
As the hours pass by she continues to sit with you, she's too afraid to leave your side or let you out of her sight. She worries that if she allows either of those things, then the worst will happen to you. Which rationally she knows is ridiculous, her presence and vigilante watch wouldn’t be enough to stop death from taking you if that's truly what was in store for you. But still, being here with you gives her some small comfort and right now she needs all the comfort she can get.
At some point she had fallen asleep, it had been rather restless as she didn’t want to risk sleeping through anything that may occur, so she forced herself to stay out of her REM cycle. So what little rest she did manage couldn’t even be classified as such really, but it did end up working the way she intended it to.
The faint beeping that she'd become accustomed to suddenly picks up in speed slightly, and her eyes immediately shoot open. She quickly scans the machine to make sure it wasn't malfunctioning and once satisfied they move to you. Nothing appears different, at least not in a bad way. Your skin seems to have gained back a bit more of its natural color and though this relieves her she's still uncertain about your heart rate. Before she can worry any more, a nurse enters.
“What's going on? Is she ok?”
The nurse smiles kindly at her while checking your chart, “She's doing just fine Agent Romanoff, the slight increase in heart rate is a good thing. It means she's trying to wake up”
Natasha can’t hide the excitement that takes over her features, and she grabs your hand once more, “Pozhaluysta, vernis' ko mne. Ty mne nuzhen zdes'(Please come back to me. I need you here.)”
As if hearing, and understanding, her whispered words, your eyelids begin to flutter and though the room is nearly completely dark you still groan at the way the light affects your sensitive eyes. Sensitive or not though there's no mistaking that bright red hair, or who it belongs to. Even if her form is a bit blurry.
“Uggh…Nat?” you rasp out, and she immediately moves closer
“I’m right here” she responds, hoping you don’t notice the tears rolling down her cheeks, “How are you feeling?”
Your honest reply pulls a laugh from her and she gently squeezes your hand as the nurse walks over to your other side to begin checking you over. Once she's done with her various tests and writing notes in her chart she leaves the room, leaving you alone with the Russian you've come to love. Your eyes glance at your hand to see that your suspicions are correct, the weight you feel in your hand is indeed her own. You gently squeeze it before allowing your gaze to meet hers.
“You've been crying” you state, allowing your free hand to brush against her reddened cheek. The way she nuzzles her face into your palm takes you by surprise, but you allow to seek comfort this way and cup her cheek. You watch in awe as her whole body relaxes at this embrace
“I thought…I thought I was going to lose you” she admits in a whisper and her lower lip trembles as she closes her eyes. Despite this another tear slips down her face, but you quickly brush it away. A small whimper leaves her at this gesture, and she leans further into your hand
And that's when things start to click. Sure, you've had your suspicions that the Russian spy had feelings for you, but she's so closed off to emotions that it's hard to get an accurate read on her. If you were reading too much into her friendship and just projecting your own feelings you didn’t want to make things awkward by confessing your love for her, so you stayed quiet. Those suspicions never quite went away though. And now yearn to know if there's any validation to your thoughts.
“Nat, I- ” you start to talk but she cuts you off with a shake of her head
“No Y/n, you don’t understand. When you got here, your heart stopped. You….you died” she trembles slightly, “And you never would have known…”
You look at her softly, the weight of what she said sinking in. You knew the dangers of this job when you took it, still you're glad to be alive and you can’t help but feel guilty for what Natasha has gone through since you decided to throw caution to the wind and blow your own cover in a means to get attention away from a stuttering and fumbling Peter that had just raised suspicion by admitting to be a Stark Industries intern.
“What wouldn’t I have known?”
She thought that by now, after everything she'd be able to get those three words out, but when she tries her throat goes impossibly dry and her mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water.
“I- I…” she huffs, “Don’t make me say it. I can’t say the words.”
You smile at her sympathetically, “How about you show me then? Think you can do that?”
She eagerly nods her head, desperate to prove to you how much she cares. She moves even closer and you remove your hand from her face to give her full freedom of movement. She removes her hand from yours and gently cups your face. Her thumb brushes over a small bruise while her other hand tucks a stray hair behind your ear, and her eyes swim with a multitude of emotions as they take in your appearance close up. She takes one last deep breath and surges forward, allowing her lips to meet yours.
It's sloppy, full of desperation and tears, but it's also full of other things too. Regret, fear, and most importantly, love. She finds she needs air far too quickly for her liking so she relents in breaking the kiss. She doesn't move away though, instead she rests her forehead against yours and lets her nose bump yours too. You melt against her, grateful for her open show of affection, her way of saying she loves you without having to actually say it. That will come when she's ready, and you won’t push.
“I love you too Natasha”
She gives you a wide watery smile, gratefully that you not only understood her gesture but that you felt the same way she does. She carefully and quickly crawls into the bed next to you and gently wraps an arm around you as she buries her face against your neck.
“I was so scared” she admits as your own arm wraps around her waist
“I can imagine. But I’m ok, Natty. I’m here and I’ve got you.”
She sniffles, “You promise?”
You tighten your hold on her and plant a kiss to the top of her head, “I promise”
She nods against you but you can tell she's still not fully at ease. To help calm her fears you take the hand that's around your waist and place it on your chest. She can feel each strong beat of the muscle under your sternum and it's only then that she relaxes against you.
“You're ok” she says, more to herself than you
“Mhm, I’m ok” you reply, “Great actually, now that I have you”
She moves her face away from your neck to look at you with a softness you've never seen before but know is only reserved only for you, “You mean that?”
“Of course I do. This is all I’ve ever wanted, you're all I ever wanted.” She smiles widely before settling against you once more, kissing your collarbone affectionately and you somehow know what that means, “Love you too Natty, love you too.”
By the time Clint comes to check in he finds you both fast asleep, intertwined with each other in the small hospital bed, and he happily smiles because you were ok, and now all was as it should be.
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