#fate mordred bag

[harpers-tartarus]

I am deep in my d20: fantasy high obsession and now I'm thinking up aus:

Where Adaine makes a friend in a race that her parents detest. Riz is never allowed over by the nature of him being a goblin, but Adaine is a staple in the Gukgak home growing up and learns to cook bc they are a single parent household and still they split what they have with her ("You, goblin, unhand her!" Sklonda looking at Adaine who is red in the face and mouthing apologies: "Sir, we met literally years ago. I'm the mother of your youngest daughter's best friend.")

All the parents find out that Fabian's been essentially abandoned by his absentee mother and gets strong armed into so many sleepovers between Mordred Manor, his place, and Riz's apartment. Riz and Sklonda investigate where the food actually is in his house bc Fabian cannot survive on milk alone. Fig comes over with so many casseroles and bags of tea from Jawbone. Fabian cries.

Future au from the perspective of students at AAA who have come to know Gorgug as the great barbificer instructor, Kristen as the cleric teacher (with the infamy of being the blessed saint to lesbian gods that she played a hand in resurrecting both) and Fabian as the fighter bard teacher who is married to the amazing choreographer Mazey Phaedra who he raves about every lesson. PI Riz Gukgak stops by to speak with Fabian and his class thinks he's getting arrested. The Elven Oracle is still in Kristen's room up until the bell and her students think a terrible fate is about to befall her. The Archdevil of Rebellion and the bassist and singer of Fig and the Cig Figs shows up in Gorgug's class and that's how his students find out the reason they only tour during summer break is bc it's drummer is their teacher. The students are mystified.

The parents staying up waiting for their kids to come home after the Last Stand and the profound relief when they get home bc it's been a whole fucking DAY. Sklonda is in a state and Sandra-lynn has to talk her off a ledge.

Fic about the difficulties all the Bad Kids: Riz with being a goblin, Fabian only having one eye, Adaine with her anxiety particularly after the Court of Stars kidnapped her, Fig about her insecurities, Gorgug feeling like he is the cause of his parents losing their family, and Kristen struggling with her parents casting her out without a second thought.

Someone wrote this idea on tumblr but it's gold: by some random chance (I know it's governed by seven immortal dancers but what kind of government is that??) The king of Fallinel has died and with so many descendants dead to disease or violence, the crown passes all the way to Solace, oddly enough to a young goblin. Riz is going to kill his distant ancestor for dying.

[morganarchy]

Guys I know it's The Year of Our Lord 2023 and I am still thinking about BBC Merlin that ended in *checks watch* jesus christ 2012 but I was rewatching the series with my partner and we were really enjoying it and I felt very validated that this show I had watched as a teen WAS good actually, but then...

Like why is Season 4 like that? Like why are the last two seasons so garbage? I'm sorry?? Why did we do Morgana like that? Katie McGrath CAN ACT I've SEEN IT why is she DOING IT LIKE THAT??

We still haven't been able to finish season 5 because it is a bit of a slog and they really just flattened several characters, most notably Gwen and Morgana, but others as well. Why is Gwen, who was absolutely a main character in the first three seasons who had a lot of agency suddenly like, a background character who occasionally intervenes but is otherwise there for Arthur's character development?

ALSO WHY is Morgana NOT a good villain?? There are NO STAKES when she's the antagonist of an episode or even a slew of episodes. I think the longest time she's been able to "win" is like...two episodes? Maybe? Morgana should have been like Cersei in terms of threat levels, but she's just not and that's so a) uncharacteristic in terms of her S1-3 characterization and b) NOT GOOD STORY TELLING because your BIGGEST VILLAIN isn't even the most threatening thing they've been up against. Ghost Uther was more dangerous than Living Morgana!

She's a goth paper bag in seasons 4 and 5 and they do a horrible job trying to make us sympathize with her but also fear her (something done much better for villains in GOT or other shows - GOT is just on my mind because of the shared aesthetic - and NOT COUNTING the last few seasons).

Also Merlin?? Hello?? Why has he become the cop? S4-5 Merlin is essentially that cop in all cop shows who has a "gut instinct" that THAT GUY is the bad guy and he'll go against the law to beat his ass up and get him to confess and when Gaius or Arthur or anyone else calls him out he's like "Yeah but I had a /bad feeling/ about them" like BITCH WHY??

I love Mordred's arc, but it's predicated on Merlin being the literal worst and obviously our main characters need to have flaws but Merlin hates Mordred in a very un-Merlin-like way. He used to reject his visions or at least try to change them, but as soon as he sees Mordred killing Arthur or whatever he immediately hates Mordred no matter what Mordred does to show Merlin that he is changed. Old Merlin would have accepted that! Maybe that was a deliberate writing choice in the "I've learned I can't change fate" kind of way, but it plays very poorly on screen.

Anyway this was supposed to be a one paragraph rant about how BBC Merlin did my girl Morgana dirty in later seasons and I just kept remembering things to say so thank you for listening to my TED talk feel free to interact I'd love to talk about it.

[smokeybrandreviews]

Belay That Order

Fate/Grand Order just dropped a brand new Saber Medusa and i feel nothing. Utter indifference. That sh*t is huge because Medusa is my favorite Servant, after Mordred. If this was, say, five years ago, I'd be mad hype. Type-Moon would be getting so much of my money off that Banner, it’s be disgusting. But now? Now this ridiculously awesome situation gets a resounding “Meh” out of me. How the f*ck did FGO fumble the bag so hard that i, as a Nasu Apologist, flat-out do not care that there is a new Medusaface, in my favorite Servant Class? Seriously, every Medusaface released, so far, has been fantastic. The art is dope, the skills are perfect for attacking, and all of the Noble Phantasm animations get the juices flowing. Saber Medusa continues that level of excellence AND she’s a goddamn Five-star! Not even Gorgon is Five-star, re you kidding me? I should be falling all over myself to get this card, when it releases over here in two years, but i can’t be bothered. Why? What the f*ck happened that made me lose so much interest in a game based on one of my all-time favorite franchises? Just SO much, actually.

The biggest issue that made me fall off was when i lost my original account. That was on me, sure, but recovery was stupid. That sh*t is a joke among the fan base. Once you lock yourself out of your account, it’s basically gone forever unless you’ve kept track of literally every metric you have, and it has to be identical or your sh*t is in the wind. The reason for this, is the fact that Fate/Grand Order doesn’t bind your accounts. When you transfer your game from one device to another, you need a goddamn transfer code. Who still does this? I get that was the way to go when FGO was first launched and, even then, maybe not, but benefit of the doubt. After all of these updates and revisions, these motherf*ckers STILL haven’t added the option to bind your account to an outside source. Azur Lane does. That sh*t is tagged to my Facebook account. BLEACH: Brave Souls does. Facebook account. DBZ: Dokkan Battle? Google Account. I was five years into my Grand Order journey when i swapped Bluestacks versions, didn’t get that code, and fought these motherf*ckers for my sh*t over the course of a full month, only to be told “yeah, nah. None f that lines up.” Just f*ck me then, because you assholes refuse to modernize your systems. You are living on that razor’s edge playing FGO for longer than a week because, at any time, everything you’re earned, invested into, and paid money for, can be gone in a goddamn instant; All because you didn’t get a Transfer Code and don’t know what your seventeenth Rider is. That’s juts the biggest issue. There are others. So very many others...

One of the which, and probably more egregious than the aforementioned Account Binding if you look at it objectively, is the fact that the game is f*cking boring. You don’t “play” Fate/Grand Order, it plays itself. I mean, there is this weirdly passive action selection but, after that, it’s just you, watching a bunch of sprites do said actions. If you happen to trigger a Noble Phantasm, you get a cute little movie deal but that’s it. There really isn’t a whole ton of strategy involved. You can’t really delve deeply into a game plan. It’s just set it and forget it. There are mobile games which autoplay. There is an entire f*cking genre of these things. FGO ain’t that. it forces you to be present, while passively watching it play. How is that a game? For years, Fate/Grand Order was the only mobile game i played and it it left a horrid impression of the entire goddamn industry because of how bogus the game play loop was. And then i downloaded Azur Lane on a whim. Imagine how goddamn frustrated i was when i found out there were actual games that could be played on mobile. FGO’s game play loop is so bad, it made me dismiss and entire section of the gaming industry, for years. o be honest, i think that was by design. The reason the actual game play is so bad, is because the Fate franchise is, ostensibly, a visual novel. They’ve diversified into other things but, at it’s core, Fate started as an adult Visual Novel out of Comiket. FGO is a visual Novel before it’s a game but, even in that, it sucks.

There is a grand total of twenty-seven available Quests on the Japanese version of the game. That is twenty-seven visual novels to explore. Some of them are pretty good. I personally enjoyed Camelot and Babylonia. The rest? I literally couldn’t care less. I’ve been a fan of Fate for years. I own a fan translation of that OG Adult Visual Novel and it’s sequel, Fate/Hollow Ataraxia. Ataraxia sucks but Fate/Stay Night does not. Heaven’s Feel is my favorite of the routes available, Stay Night, Unlimited Blade Works, and Heaven’s Feel, but i simp hard for Sakura so that goes without saying. There are no narratives which com anywhere near the quality of those first first three stories, in Fate/Grand Order and, more to the point, there are SEVERAL, that fall short of even the meager standard Babylonia set. Seriously, London was the worst and i had to play through that sh*t, twice, to unlock the ability o pull Mordred out of the goddamn Gacha! That’s right, i played through London, again, years after i did the first time, because i opted to start a new account just for that. Mordred is my favorite character in the entire goddamn franchise and my original one, was perfected. axed out on all levels, lost to the winds because of f*ckery. I opted to go through that grind one more time, as a fresh brand new player, and actually paid attention this time around. That’s how  know the writing is bunk. Starting a new game, years into this sh*t’s lifespan, as a player who was there in the beginning but lost all of that work, was a whole as experience. And a bad one to boot.

I periodically take time away from these mobile games because i tend to get bored of them. Not Azur Lane. That one’s my baby. I love them Kraut Girls. Generally speaking, when you return after a while, you get bonuses because, you know, you need them. Just because you were gone, doesn’t mean the game stopped progressing. FGO kind of does this but not in any real impactful way or, at least, not when i came back to it after a few months n my old account. After i lost that account, i went through the seven stages of grief and signed up for another one. Imagine my horror when, as a brand new player signing up for a game which, by then, had been active for six goddamn years, i got nothing. Like, they let me roll one Five-star character and basically told me to fend for myself. I couldn’t skip the original Mission Quests even though, by that point FGO was rounding out the Lost Belt narratives. Cats didn’t even f*cking give you the option of an abridged version of these Quests, you have to play through the entire goddamn thing! Which i did because Mordred. Once i finished the slog that is London, i quit. I abandoned all the work to even have the opportunity to make a run FOR Mordred; The entire point of me opening up a second account, because that grind was f*cking absurd. Now imagine how disillusioning it would be for a fresh player wanting to get into this game because they saw the Babylon anime or those Camelot films? Imagine going into that thinking you get to make a run at Tiamat or Lancer Arturia, only to be forced into playing through goddamn Fuuyuki. And then Orleans. And then Septem. And then Okeanos. And then London. And then you’d still have E Pluribus Unum before you even sniff Camelot.

In this, the year of our lord 2023, Fate/Grand Order is a relic of the past. It’s everything that was wrong with the Mobile Game industry way back when. There have been so many innovation, so many improvements, but FGO refuses to change. It’s that lack of growth, that apathetic refusal to adapt with the ever changing market, which has the once dominate Fate/Grand Order on life support. It just such a bad time and the player base knows that. They’re leaving in droves due to the poor writing, lack of actual playability, and the overall, real world, cash cost. I didn’t even touch on how expensive this game is to play. You have to be LUCKY to roll Five-star servants, man, even if they have a Banner. And you straight up never earn enough Saint Quartz to roll anything grand. Sh*t doesn’t even have a Pity System, you just get to throw money at a broken and predatory system until you get what you want. Th wild thing is, Fate/Grand Order has always been this way. It’s designed this way. It was never a good game. It was never going to be a good game. It was designed to be a money pit so Nasu could get off all of his pet projects, which is fair. I get it. FGO hit four billion in lifetime profits way back in 2019. That’s a lot of duckets that can be spent of spiffy UFOtable animation. I only which that some of it went to improving the goddamn game which gilded your pockets in the first place. All that said, the free Five-star I got was Mordred so I take back everything I said. 10/10, perfect game!

[peachypendragon]

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Look at these cute bags!!!!

Aren't they just awesome? *.*

[neon-city-dreams]

Masterlist

Neon City Knights (Superpower AU)

Main story chapters

Calliope’s Box - Dreamcatcher x Gender Neutral reader The origin of the Neon City Knights began with that fateful night at the mysterious mansion.

After more than a few drinks and a dare from Gahyeon, Y/n finds themselves within the haunted mansion with no clue what mystery and horrors await them further in.

The First knight - Dami x Gender Neutral reader

A retelling of Calliope’s box from Dami’s perspective reveals hidden truths and secrets that she still keeps from y/n. Can she be trusted? Or will she fall from grace like the original first knight Gawain?

The Red Queen - Gahyeon x Gender Neutral reader 

Unable to sleep, your mind still rushing from the event of the mansion, you receive a text from Gahyeon, who wants to talk about what happened. Will she guard Dami’s secret, or will all hell break loose.

The Cat, The Wolf, and The Lion - Handong x Gender Neutral reader (Coming Soon) 

Handong makes a surprise appearance at your doorstep, needing a place to crash during her stay in Neon City. But something seems strange about her as she reveals that she too has a muse named ‘Dawn.’ It all seems far too convenient. Perhaps the time apart had changed her or was she one of the muses in disguise.

Neon City Side Stories

Side stories involving the cast of Neon City Knights. There canonicity is up for debate is ultimately up to the reader.

Kim 'Jiu’ Minji

Death of Mordred | Jiu

Kim 'Sua’ Bora

Death of Mordred | Sua

Lee Siyeon

Someone is yet to reveal the truth …

Handong

Nobody has let the cat out of the bag yet …

Kim Yoohyeon

Keep in touch. I’m sure there’ll be an update.

Lee 'Dami’ Yubin

Between the pages - A Typhoon consumes Neon City forcing you and your best friend to take shelter in the city library. With nothing but time until the storm blows over the two of you reminisce on your history together discussing if you’re just friends or something more?

Lee Gahyeon

It’s only natural that there’s nothing here.

Neon City Divergence (Alternate AU’s, requests and oneshots) Solomon AU

Introduction to Solomon

[merlinbingo]

October Round Up #1

This is it, the final round up of the first round, and my mind continues to be blown by how much you’ve all created. In October alone, you submitted a whopping 117 fills! As a result, I’m splitting the round up into three, otherwise no one’s going to be able to find anything in the mass of awesomeness you all are responsible for...

As per usual, fills are sorted by ship and then by rating. Please pay attention to any warnings, and practice self-care when choosing to click on that link!

Gen

automatic by catasterisms Rating: General audiences Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: Kind of a Humans AU, but also kind of a re-do of Merlin ep1.

fathomable by catasterisms Rating: General audiences Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: Gwen figures out Merlin has magic.

deference by catasterisms Rating: General audiences Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: A scar reveal that doesn't really focus on the scars. Set in some nebulous point in s4.

out of the bag by catasterisms Rating: General audiences Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: Accidental magic reveal. Sort of.

Game Night by That-One-Annoying-Fox Rating: General audiences Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: Does anyone want to play a game, whilst we wait for the apocalypse? Merlin asked, quite suddenly. (In which Merlin plays Cluedo with the knights, and regrets it instantly)

When we make it back home by 50quid Rating: General audiences Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: Merlin couldn't help frowning, but he would much rather that Arthur come to learn on his own terms that there were also sorcerers who don't harm- - sorcerers who weren't so hellbent on revenge for their fallen brothers. It might take a while, and Merlin will have to look out for his King until then.

Cheese by That-One-Annoying-Fox Rating: General audiences Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: Merlin has one job to do. He gets distracted.

Come Morning by That-One-Annoying-Fox Rating: General audiences Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: Merlin contemplates how Camelot is treated.

Awakening by 50quid Rating: General audiences Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply, Major character death Summary: Red. All Merlin could remember was red.

Mew by That-one-annoying-fox Rating: General audiences Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: Merlin is working on a transformation spell. It goes right. For once, that is not a good thing.

Lamia episode by Ice-mint Rating: General audiences Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary:

Willpower by That-one-annoying-fox Rating: General audiences Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: Uther asks Merlin to help him, not estimating where his loyalty lies.

Never Saw It Coming by 50quid Rating: General audiences Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: Of course Guinevere had invited them to join them. And of course the knights were all there too, and making conversation with the teen-aged children.

The Grief You Thrust Upon Me [FANART] by Sable_Nakahara Rating: Teen Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: I was born to Hate you To be your Lethal Doom. The Grief you thrust upon me has made this fate true.

you don't miss me too? by 50quid Rating: Teen Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply, Major character death Summary: All of these people--even including Morgana, Mordred, and 'High Priestesses of the Old Religion', at least according to Morgana--and still the one that's kept all of them together, the one whose actions were more than pivotal to the kingdom of Camelot, was nowhere to be found. Gwen had suggested that maybe he had yet to be born, she'd told Arthur when he held a sleeping three-year old Mordred in his arms one night that they visited him. He glanced down at the child, and felt a sudden surge of nausea rise from deep within his gut, and the loneliness that he's been all too familiar with ever since he recalled his memories- that loneliness had come back, and hadn't left Arthur.

The Curious Case Of The Hunithsons by That-one-annoying-fox Rating: Teen Ao3 warnings: Major character death Summary: Olivia meets a very strange old man. After meeting him, her work seems to pick up. And then she meets his even stranger (and yet possibly not any less strange) grandson.

To Miss The Sunrise by MerthurAllure Rating: Not rated Ao3 warnings: Graphic depictions of violence Summary: Mordred was born a seer. In Camelot, seers were punished by having their eyes removed.

Mithian/Morgana

moving forward by catasterisms Rating: General audiences Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: Set in an AU of s4 with good Morgana. Morgana meets Mithian, and gives herself a chance to be happy.

Arthur/Gwen

The King And His Servant (Or The Warlock and HIS Servant?) by That-One-Annoying-Fox Rating: Teen Ao3 warnings: Major character death Summary: Arthur always thought that dying would be the hardest thing about..well, dying. It is not.

Isolde/Tristan

Remembering Isolde by gremlinbehaviour Rating: General audiences Ao3 warnings: Major character death Summary: Every autumn, Tristan returns to Camelot to visit his wife's grave

Merlin/Freya

Acceptance by That-one-annoying-fox Rating: General audiences Ao3 warnings: Major character death Summary: In the middle of the winter, Merlin sneaks out to meet someone.

Uther/Ygraine

When The Spell Breaks, the Mother will Fall.. by That-one-annoying-fox Rating: Teen Ao3 warnings: Major character death Summary: ..And so will come Baby, Expiring All. (Events surrounding the purge: A summary, as remembered by Alice Thompson of Camelot)

Merlin/Mordred

I Honor Your Path by MerthurAllure Rating: Mature Ao3 warnings: Graphic depictions of violence Summary: Prince Merlin witnesses a familiar ritual and makes a deep connection with a young druid.

Merlin/Arthur

Dar Diddley Qua Qua by camelittle Rating: General audiences Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: In which sticky ends are reached. Sticky with mud, that is.

dancing around the fact by catasterisms Rating: General audiences Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: Strictly Come Dancing AU

let's make it my favourite colour by 50quid Rating: General audiences Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: And all those people who firmly believed that Arthur's favourite colour was Pendragon red? Well, sorry to say but that's all in the past now. He had a new favourite colour now.

driven by the rhythm like the beat of a heart by 50quid Rating: General audiences Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: Leon was the worrywart of their trio, so if Gwaine of all people was worried, then Merlin was sure this was either going to fail spectacularly, or he'll just manage with a bump on the head, and get a certain someone looking to find his name.

A call in the night by Castilian Rating: General audiences Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary:

The (not quite so foolish) fool by That-one-annoying-fox Rating: General audiences Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: News from Camelot doesn’t shock the queen of Gwynedd as much as it ought to.

The Tears of Arthur Pendragon by MerthurAllure Rating: General audiences Ao3 warnings: Major character death Summary: Five times Arthur cries plus one time he cries happy tears

I Could Recognise Him by Touch Alone by queerofthedagger Rating: Teen Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: In theory, it's the perfect plan. Who better to impersonate to get close to the newly crowned king than the King's personal manservant, the court physician's apprentice—Emrys himself? In reality, though—in reality, Arthur knows Merlin far better than anyone would've expected, down to the fact that Merlin is keeping secrets. Neither Merlin nor Arthur thought they would be revealed like this, but when all is said and done, it's probably the best outcome of an assassination attempt anyone could ask for.

The Confectioner by Camelittle Rating: Teen Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: Having banished Merlin for doing magic, Arthur becomes a sulky grumpyguts of a king. At the end of her tether, Gwen encounters a mysterious confectioner who has opened a shop in the lower town. The shop's sign bears the message “Magical sweetmeats to sweeten the sourest of tempers”. Surely it must be worth a try?

little assumptions by TheCourtSorcerer Rating: Teen Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: On his way home, Arthur sees Gwaine out with another man. Thinking Merlin and Gwaine were in a relationship, he's horrified to find out Gwaine is cheating on his best friend. Now, he's only left with one question. How does he tell Merlin?

for you I would ruin myself (a million little times) by queerofthedagger Rating: Teen Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: Over a thousand years of waiting, and one split-second of slipped control. Merlin destroys the centre of the Sidhe's power, but destiny has never been this easy to fend off.

Arthur Pendragon, Poet. Or Something… by Clea2011 Rating: Teen Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: Arthur was terrible at poetry. That didn't stop him trying to create a masterpiece for Merlin on National Poetry Day. Oh dear...

And I Will Keep Loving You Forever by tehfanglyfish Rating: Teen Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: It was a relief to see Arthur safe and sound. The sight of what he was holding, though, well that was a different matter. “That’s… that’s my book.” More precisely, it was the grimoire and the only thing keeping Merlin from panicking about it being in Arthur’s hands was the fact that it was drenched in water.

We’re taking on the world (together) by heartsocold Rating: Teen Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: “Who’s at the door?” Arthur’s voice calls as Merlin continues gaping, the color all but gone from his face. “Merlin?” Arthur makes his way over and places his hand on Merlin’s shoulder, frowning at the lack of a reaction. He turns to face the woman standing on their front porch, knowing she’s responsible for Merlin’s reaction, “I’m sorry, you are?” “Freya. My name is Freya,” The brunette whispers, her fingers interlocking nervously. Arthur glances at her protruding stomach and suddenly, Merlin’s shock makes much more sense.

Light of the Sun by Clea2011 Rating: Mature Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: This is the story of two generations of palaeontologists. A tale of love in a time of dragons. And dinosaurs.

Liar, Liar, Tell Me You Want Me by queerofthedagger Rating: Mature Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: Three weeks ago, Arthur ended their friends with benefits arrangement because he'd done what everyone tells you not to do and caught feelings. And alright, maybe he didn't exactly go about it in the best of ways, but he thinks having to share a bed with Merlin for three nights is a rather harsh punishment, even for karma's proportions.

Rec list - Rule 63: queer version by queerofthedagger Rating: Explicit Ao3 warnings: No archive warnings apply Summary: A rec list for the trope "Rule 63" with a focus on queer and/or trans characters

[300iqprower]

Continued from last ask, imagine being in a relationship with someone and you have a twin who is friends with your bf/gf and the gf thinks they're going out with your twin because they like the twin, not you. I normally don't get mean but damn. I need fate writers to never write ships or couples ever again. The only good ship in this entire series is Ryouma x Oryou because somehow they wrote the Ryouma and his dragon wife as a realistic couple better than any other couple/"couple" in the game.

to respond to both this and the last one the Medb x Skadi thing is a mess but not for those reasons. It's only played the first time in Sparrow Inn as a "Medb can't tell the difference between them" and ever since it's been a reoccurring thing. The issue is they dont develop the relationship at all and just make the same """"""self-aware joke"""""" every time of "Skadi is Scathach despite having zero connection to her and acting like the opposite in fact!"

it pretty clearly started as a "all the celtic servants are bi and horny" thing (because Fate considers the celtic people the "savages" in contrast to a "chivalrous" britian. Because yay teaboo imperalism) but they also didnt want to commit since Medb and NotSkadi have to treat Guda as their love interest bc waifu, obviously. So what you're left with is a tone deaf "self dig" at an objectively lazy and horribly written character (and yet it's also consistently a better written version of NotSkadi than in her own lostbelt...) combined with a ship that exists for the sake of it and does not progress in any meaningful way.

The need for waifuism is why the only well written couples in FGO are those who are on a conceptual level connected to their loved one. Ryouma and Oryou, Sigurd and Brynhildr, Yu and Xiang Yu, stuff like that where it's inextricable. Servants who have a canonical love interest but said love interest is not in game almost universally get rewritten or have some excuse to turn Guda into their love interest (gestures to every Yandere fauxzerker). I think Tomoe is like, the only exception, at least off the top of my head. I definitely dont count the mommy shit like what they do with Boudica and Qin Liangyu because it's very obviously just a way of making it a kink thing that isn't TECHNICALLY direct romance. And then you have Bradamante whose every other line reads like NTR wish fulfillment.

Oh wait did I say servants who have a canonical love interest? I meant JUST FEMALE ONES, duh. Gil and Enkidu have their totally not gay disasters relationship, Fionn is allowed to openly adore his wife post Sparrow Inn, etc.

But this hasn't stopped them from introducing a ton of obvious ship teasing only to drop it like a bag of rocks the moment it reaches a point where they'd have to commit, and actually develop the characters, and make them not unequivocally gushing over Guda. Salter and Jalter, Musahsi and Weebat, Scheherazade and Nitocris, Mordred and Fran, the list goes on, and on, and on, of ships tocuhed on just enough to act as a short distraction before being dropped or repeatedly trodded out just to tread the exact same ground for fear of actual depth, which is exactly what Medb and Skadi's has been like so far.

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

I don’t think this needs to be said, but there is a VERY anti-Sakurai stretch of the F/GO community, almost assuredly because Sakurai is one of the only female writers in Fate period, and controversy and/or hate has continually dogged almost everything Sakurai has been the head writer on. 

Septum: people hated Septum because it wasn’t well written, but this can be forgiven because the game was incredibly new and nobody had any experience with the market or the medium. F/GO is groundbreaking for being a mobile game with an in-depth story and good writing, because so many other mobile games have shit tier writing. 

Shimosa (speculated, it is worth noting that very few writers have been confirmed for story chapters since Arc 1, wonder why???????): Immediate claims of plagiarism from Makai Tenshou, despite an even cursory look at the story showing that could be farther from the truth

Gotterdammerung: People claiming without proof that Minase wrote part of it (more on this in a minute)

Olympus (Very heavily speculated, but it fits the pattern): People blaming Sakurai for what they felt was lackluster writing, despite no confirmation she even wrote the chapter

Sakurai is the proverbial kicking bag of the community even more than Minase is, because Minase only generally has Agartha levied against him (and I guess the new Valentine’s day event with Sei Shonagon). 

Now, did Minase write any part of Gotterdammerung? To be blunt, I’m fairly certain the answer is no. Every piece of Minase’s writing in F/GO (Prism Illya event, Agartha, Sei Shonagon event) is super characteristic and none of that is present in Gotterdammerung at all. The most anyone has said is that sometimes the writing gets repetitive, but that’s just bad writing. Nothing typical (meaning huge honking fetishes and pedophilia) are present in Gotterdammerung. 

Writers often do help out with scenarios too, there have been confirmed cases of this. But extremely notably, this has only been in cases where they are writing characters that come from their works. It’s not super consistent, for example its known Sakurai wrote London but Higashide didn’t write Mordred’s parts, but it is known that Sakurai wrote the parts in Camelot where Serenity, Arash, and Ozymandias took part in, and both Higashide and Sakurai wrote their respective singularity nodes in Solomon. 

Nasu is the only exception to this but...it’s Nasu. I don’t think I need to explain that. 

I’m not saying everyone who believes that Minase wrote part of LB2 hates Sakurai, and I’d bet some of the accounts who have are very likely to not be like that, but I just find it incredibly strange and concerning yet another Sakurai work has had the controversy gun pointed at it again.

[newobsessioneveryweek]

The Merlin AU Nobody Asked For Pilot: Part 1

Merlin - Hyrule

Gwen - Midna

Arthur – Twilight

Morgana - Zelda

Uther – Time

Gawain - Wild

Lancelot - Warrior

Percival - Sky

Blacksmith – Four

Mordred - Wind

Morgause - Cia

Gaius – Legend

Edwin (A Remedy To Cure All Ills S.1 Ep.6) – Ravio

In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young boy. His name: Link.

When a mysterious magic user stumbles into Hyrule he receives the shock of his life when he discovers the kingdom’s hostility towards magic of any kind. Together with prince Link he must work to keep the land safe from malicious sorcery whilst also keeping the prince from falling to the evil magic.

 No young man, no matter how great, can know his destiny. He cannot glimpse his part in the great story that is about to unfold. Like everyone, he must live and learn. And so it will be for the young warlock arriving at the gates of Hyrule. A boy who will in time father the legend. His name – Link.

Link strolled into Castle Town, beaming from cheek to cheek with childlike wonder in his eyes as he made his way to Hyrule Castle Town. His mother had sent him on a journey to Hyrule from their small village. Though Link loved his home town of Ordon, his mother knew he couldn’t remain there, for fear of someone noticing his special abilities.

As Link neared the castle the unmistakable bellow of horns blasting over the bustling of the courtyard could be heard. Drums sounded their eerie call and it was at that moment Link noticed the gathering crowd of people around a platform that held a wooden block with a basket sitting just in front of it. Link’s stomach dropped.

“Let this serve as a lesson to all,” a voice called over the crowd, deep and authoritative. The young boy looked to a narrow balcony situated above the scene. A tall man with greying blonde hair and sharp blue eyes spoke firmly over the throng of witnesses. “This man, Osfala James Collins, is adjudged guilty of conspiring to use enchantments and magic. And pursuant to the laws of Hyrule, I, Link Pendragon, have decreed that such practices are banned on penalty of death. I pride myself as a fair and just king, but for the crime of sorcery there is but one sentence I can pass.”

Link waited in anticipation as the executioner’s axe was raised above the man’s neck before being swiftly brought down, separating head from body and causing Link to feel severely ill. Link shut his eyes and turned his head away from the scene, gagging. He excitement was ripped from him the second Osfala’s head hit the basket with a dull thud. The king, who upsettingly shared the youth’s name, spoke again. “When I came to this land, this kingdom was mired in chaos, but with the people’s help magic was driven from the realm. So I declare a festival to celebrate twenty years since the great dragon was captured and Hyrule freed form the evil of sorcery. Let the celebrations begin!”

The people began cheering and the king turned to leave when all of a sudden the sound of a man wailing filled the square, catching everyone’s attention, even the king’s. “There is only one evil in this land and it is not magic, it is you! You killed my apprentice, you hateful tyrant!” The old man yelled, anger and sorrow lacing his weak voice. “I promise you, before these celebrations are over you will share my tears. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, and… a son for a son!”

”Seize him!” The king ordered his men. The soldiers on the ground sprang into action, charging the elderly man. Seeing that he was outnumbered the man’s eyes grew wide and he ducked his head and began muttering non-Hylian. Link did not recognise the language, nor was he completely certain of the stability of the man’s mental state, then, out of nowhere, a fierce wind erupted from where the man had been standing and before Link could fully grasp what had happened the old man was gone.

Without so much as a second thought the crowd dispersed. A few murmurs, but nothing more than a second glance at the area the man had been standing. Surely this wasn’t a regular occurrence in a land deprived of magic, but Link decided, mostly for his sanity, he would forget about the incident.

He returned to his mission, asking the guard at the entrance to the castle where he could find the court physician. The guard curtly directed him to the room upstairs then continued his rigorous routine of doing nothing. Link idly went about his day, trotting up the stairs and stopping by an unelaborate wooden door. Without hesitation he opened the door and took a peek inside.

“Hello?” Link addressed the room, but when nobody answered he decided to take a look around. Beyond the door was a large cylindrical room filled with dried herbs, bottles and phials of odd smelling chemicals, and piles and piles of books reading about medicines, ailments, anatomy, as well as the odd book about plants and gardening. Curious.

A sudden movement above Link caught his eye and he realised his host was home. Link cleared his throat to grab his attention. The person looked close to his age – must be a prodigy – with blonde hair and blue eyes whom his mother had referred to as ‘Link’. Must be a popular name. The other Link turned his head to regard his visitor with a welcoming smile. He fellow took a step back and clumsily tumbled over the edge of the platform. Link panicked. Instinctually he used his magic to slow the flow of time and maneuvered the patients’ bed that was situated at the other end of the room underneath the falling man.

CRASH!

His landing might not be the only thing broken.

“Ow!” The other Link yelped when his back hit the mattress. “Mother of Hylia!” Link stalked further into the room to check if the guy was okay. He had managed to get up with no problems (thank goodness) and quickly turned on Link. “What did you just do?” he asked, firmly. Link spluttered, not knowing how to respond. He didn’t want to meet the same fate as Osfala. “Tell me!” the other Link ordered.

“I-I have no idea what happened.”

“If anyone has seen that-”

“No no no, that had nothing to do with me.”

“I know what it was, I just want to know where you learnt how to do it.”

“Nowhere,” Link argued desperately. This guys was relentless.

“How is it you know magic?”

“I-I don’t! I swear.”

“Where did you study,” the other Link asked curiously, unconvinced of Link’s statement. When Link didn’t answer he demanded he tell him. “Answer me!”

“I’ve never studied magic, or- or been taught.”

“Are you lying to me boy,” the man said, inching closer so their noses were nearly touching.

“What do you want me to say?” Link whined.

“The truth!”

“I was born like this!”

“That’s impossible.” A pause. The other Link looked away for a second then turned back with a strange expression. “…Who are you?” he asked dumbly.

Link smiled, humor meeting his soft brown eyes. He scratched in his bag and produced an envelope. “I have this letter-“ Link said, holding out the folded slip of paper.

The other man squinted, his brow creasing as he looked at the letter. “I don’t have my glasses.”

Link quired an eyebrow but just decided to introduce himself instead of helping the other guy look for his glasses. “I’m Link.”

The other Link tilted his head curiously before realisation replaced his confusion. “Hunith’s son?”

“Yes”

“But you’re not meant to be here till Wednesday.”

Link’s face went expressionless as he delivered the news to the other Link. “It-it is Wednesday.”

“…Ah.” The two Links just stared at each other for a moment before the other Link spoke again. “Well, you better put your bag in there-“ he said, pointing to a private room across from the front door.

Link nodded and walked over to what was now his very own room before the other Link stopped him.

“Oh, and Link, I should say thank you, you know, for saving me.” The two shared a smile before Link left the room to pack his things away.

[teatitty]

Thinking about an apocrypha fan?/comic where Kairi buys Mordred a really silly sleeping bag and wondering if it's worth digging through my likes to find again like

I have a whole folder on my computer of Fate fanart and I dread going through it cuz there is just. So much

[queer-ragnelle]

snake and shark?

🐍 thoughts on Mordred

Mordred is special because I like every take on him all the way from bad seed/anti-Christ levels of evil to “he did nothing wrong he is a cinnamon roll” which is exclusive to him for me. Even appearance and other traits like the goth aesthetic? Blonde little cherub? Tallest brother? Bean? Trans? Gay? All valid. Other characters I am pickier but all Mordred’s are valid. I personally write him as a tragic victim of fate, many of his “bad deeds” being accidents or misinterpretation. But I do relish in his villainy if the author I’m reading chooses to take him that direction. I also enjoy pairing him with Galahad as a narrative foil/love interest. I just think they’re neat. And I love his dynamic with Agravaine. They can cause problems on purpose together and that’s lovely. I also like his son Melehan after the role he played in Idylls of the Queen by Phyllis Ann Karr so yeah! Mordred good.

🦈thoughts on Guinevere

Hate her. I’ve now read her in both medieval lit and modern lit being an absolute brat at best and gaslighting abuser at worst and I’m not at all a fan. I totally acknowledge I am a hypocrite though because I like horrible characters like Agravaine and obscure douche bags like Pinel Le Savage and excuse their bad behavior only to vilify Guinevere for hers but...eh! I can have some bad takes. It might also be the books I’ve read so I do intend to read some Guinevere-focused ones in the future and maybe it will improve but all medieval takes on her I’ve read do not endear me to her whatsoever. Hated how she treated Lancelot in Knight of the Cart as well as the Vulgate and Le Morte d’Arthur.

ALSO hated how she embarrassed Galahad about his origins the moment she sat to talk with him like hello? Leave the kid alone, stop forcing your weird adultery with his dad in his face. She just came on really strong and it bothered him and I was like ew!! Please exit the narrative ma’am thanks. As much as I dislike BBC Merlin, I did think that Guinevere was sweet. And that’s about all I liked about that show was casting lol so yeah! Guinevere bad

[islecaptain-a]

@memorystxrs​ | Harriet for Zadie

“I’ve got some things for ye’?” the pirate walked towards the younger girl. In a surprising turn of fates, it was Cain’s turn to be avoided by Harriet. Usually it was Raven Harriet avoided, but the latter had already proved he would come storming into her Captain’s Quarters if hse avoided him and then ditched Mordred as her babysitter. So while she left Sammy to deal with Cain - because clearly Heath couldn’t be trusted; she hand delivered the items she found on the barge. “Yer’ cousin Evalyn said ye’ like techie thing aye?” Harriet held out a bag of computer parts discarded by Auradon.

[animeficlets]

Fate Mini Story: The Battle of Chaldea’s Kitchen

Mash adjusted her glasses as she stood nervously outside her senpai's room. Ever since they had gotten back from the last singularity, the last master of humanity had been hard at work studying to be a better Master with the materials the late director had left behind. He had been studying for a good few hours and his reliable kouhai decided to pay him a visit.

He was probably hungry, and she had made him some sandwiches which she had wrapped up and was currently holding them behind her back, nervously looking at the door to Ritsuka’s bedroom. She usually just walked in without even thinking about it, but for some reason she found herself feeling nervous. What if Senpai didn’t like her sandwiches or what if she was just bugging him by entering the room while he was hard at work?

While Mash fretted over whether to enter or not, the beloved mascot of Chaldea saw no reason to hesitate and jumped from Mash’s shoulder, pressing the button to open the door before launching himself back onto her head. The door slid open almost silently, but it caught the attention of her senpai, who turned and smiled weakly at her. There were bags under his eyes and the desk next to his bed were littered with screwed up bits of paper.

“Hey,” He laughed weakly. “Is everything okay? Did Da Vinci and Dr Roman sort out access to the next singularity?”

“No Senpai,” Mash shook her head and stepped into the room, smiling softly. “I just figured I would check on you. You’ve been locked in here for a few hours.”

“Oh right,” Ritsuka rubbed the back of his head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you… it’s just…” He closed his eyes and a familiar vision assaulted his mind.

A teary-eyed Olga Marie reached out to him as she was pulled towards her doom. Her eyes begged him to save her but no matter how quickly he ran, it wasn’t fast enough.

“No-No, No! Someone help me! Help! I…I don’t want to die here!” Tears trailing down her face, “Because I’ve never been praised… I’ve never been praised by anyone! Why does this always happen to me?!” She howled in sorrow and rage, “No one ever valued me! Everyone hated me!” She was suddenly ripped off of her feet, dragged towards the burning sphere of Chaldeas, “No! Stop! No, no, no, no, no… I haven’t accomplished anything yet! From the moment I was born, I’ve never been accepted by anyone!”

“DIRECTOR!” Ritsuka cried out as she was drawn into the fiery orb the signified the disintegration of all humanity.

“No, don’t do it Senpai!” Mash grabbed him and pulled him away from Lev, “If you approach that man, you’ll die the same way!”

Ritsuka opened his eyes to see Mash’s face barely inches away from his own, “Are you alright Senpai?”

“Gargh,” He cried out in alarm and stumbled backwards, “Ah sorry. Just thinking about the director. Maybe if I’d put in the effort before hand I could have changed something.” He glanced at the books on his desk, “But it seems I have little aptitude for book learning.”

“Maybe you need a break from studying,” Mash suggested.

“I…” Before Ritsuka could say anything else, his stomach rumbled, and a crimson blush coloured his cheeks. “Hah… I guess a little break wouldn’t hurt.”

Before Mash could present the sandwiches, the door to the room swung open and a bright, red haired woman charged in.

“Sounds like someone needs a meal!” Boudicca, the British Heroic Rider Servant, declared as she marched over to Ritsuka. “Just leave it to your big sister Boudica! I’ll whip you up some good old fashion British cuisine!”

“I’m not that hungry…” Ritsuka weakly protested but the Rider was having none of it.

“Nonsense! You’ve been locked away for too long. You are able to supply magical energy to all of us servants, so it is only fair we help you maintain yours. Besides you are looking awfully pale. Leave it Onee-san, you need lots of meat!”

Mash watched her senpai get dragged away before glancing at the door. ‘Wasn’t it a slide door. I’ll have to get some of the staff to repair it.’ Letting out a soft sigh she put down the bundle of sandwiches and picked up the damaged door, leaning it against the wall before hurrying after her master and the ‘big sister’ servant. When she arrived at Chaldea’s canteen she saw an exasperated looking Ritsuka stood between a pouting Raikou and Boudicca.

“He needs meat!” Boudicca pointed out.

“Mother knows best and I saw he needs a light Japanese meal. Not your uncultured British slop.” Raikou grabbed Ritsuka hugging him tightly against her impressive chest.

“Look at him! His iron levels must be really low,” Boudicca snatched her master back from the Japanese heroic spirit, who tried to grab him back.

“W-wait! You are hurting senpai!” Mash quickly ran over and disentangled Ritsuka who offered her a genuine smile as thanks. “Isn’t there a better way to solve this? Maybe if you ask senpai if he’d prefer a big meaty meal, a light Japanese meal or even just some sandwiches you wouldn’t have to fight.”

“Honestly, the sandwiches sound pretty good,” Ritsuka admitted and Mash suddenly felt happy, before remembering she’d left the sandwiches in his room and cursing herself.

“Nonsense,” Raikou smiled, “He is only saying that to protect that servant’s feelings. How could a British spirit cook a meal worth eating?”

“Better than your slimline Japanese meals. No wonder prior to the end of humanity you had a declining birth rate. How is anyone supposed to have the energy to make babies if all you eat is rice and vegetables with the occasional bit of fish? Besides he’d probably have to have someone taste test your food to make sure you didn’t try and poison him just, so you could nurture him back to health”

“Japanese cuisine is much more that just rice, vegetables and fish,” The Japanese berserker spirit smiled with her mouth only. “And I would never poison my beloved Master, which is more that can be said for your cooking.”

“It is obvious there is only one way to solve this!” A proud voice declared, and the assembled servants and master turned to see another British Servant, Saber Artoria.

“It’s time like these you truly feel her Rank B Charisma,” Mash whispered and Ritsuka couldn’t help but nod in agreement. She radiated an aura that made you want to bow your head and follow her to the end.

Satisfied that she had everyone’s attention, she pointed to the two bickering servants. “There should be a competition!”

“Competition?” Came the confused reply.

“Indeed. What better what to settle a rivalry such as this than to prove once and for all who is the greater chef! Of course, in order to ensure an accurate judging, I shall offer my talents as a judge!”

‘So, she just wants to eat a lot of different food…’ Mash and Ritsuka thought in sync with a sigh.

“Very well!” Boudicca nodded. “I shall show you why I am known as a Heroic Spirit of Victory!”

“Wasn’t Boudicca defeated by Nero’s army?” Ritsuka whispered to Mash who nodded.

“She was the one who came closest to forcing Nero to abandon Britain but ultimately failed.” Mash confirmed under her breath so as not to agitate the fired-up servant.

There was a sudden discharge of magical energy and everyone froze.

“Senpai look out! Someone is using their noble phantasm!” Mash pushed the last master of humanity to the floor, shielding him with her body.

"I am the Bone of my Knife

Steel is my Body and Fire is my Oven,

I have created over a Thousand Spatulas,

Slayer of Hunger,

Prolonger of Life.

Have withstood Pain to create many Dishes

Yet those lips will never taste anything.

So, as I Pray--

Unlimited Kitchen Works"

Archer Emiya intoned as he entered the canteen, various tools appearing around the canteen as he adjusted his apron. “If there is to be a competition of cooking, then let it be known that I have some pride in my abilities.”

“I approve!” The King of the Britons declared. “In fact, we should invite all who wish to prove themselves!”

“You really don’t have to go to this length,” Ritsuka laughed weakly as he stood up, Mash helping him with a sheepish expression. “Just a small snack would be fine and I really need to focus on my studies so…”

“Fool!” Artoria slammed her fist on a table, causing her Master to leap in surprise. “It is your duty as a Master to allow your Servants to better themselves by competing! As a king I had to hold tournaments to allow my knights to prove themselves. Did I want to see them hitting each other and getting hurt? No! Although in hindsight I should have had Sir Mordred face Sir Lancelot more often, seeing that traitorous knight humbled would be satisfying for me now. But I digress! It is your duty, nay your obligation to allow your servants to compete is such an event! There will be starters, main courses and plenty of deserts!”

“Your true motives are showing,” Mash rubbed the back of her head.

“Do you understand?!” Artoria stood up and Ritsuka couldn’t help but kneel. “Even if you cannot eat it yourself, it is your duty to suffer hardships for the sake of your servants, just as they do for you!”

“Yes, your majesty!” Ritsuka replied, “I shall fulfil my obligations as a Master!”

“Good!” Artoria returned to her seat. “Now summon the servants for my extravagant fea… I mean the competition!”

Sometime later

The cafeteria was a hive of activity as Artoria, Ritsuka and Mash walked amongst the many servants who had decided to join in the competition. All early pretences had been dropped and Artoria was happily going from contestant to contestant, sampling meals and sighing happily. For the most part all the competitors had served food with nothing strange about it, but there were a few exceptions.

“Please Master, have a bite~” Kiyohime smiled as she offered a spoon to Ritsuka. “This rice was lovingly cooked using the flames of passion you inspire within me.”

“Its smells a little strange.” Ritsuka paused. “You didn’t put anything in this?”

“Oh, just a little secret ingredient~ My own patented love sauce.”

“Love sauce? What is…” Ritsuka was cut off by Mash pushing him to the next stall.

“I think it is better not to ask that, especially considering as Saber-san has already eaten two bowls of it.”

“Hm?” Artoria looked thoughtful. “It had a strange taste to it that I couldn’t quite place. Still a respectable effort.” She nodded sagely as they approached the next table where a downcast servant was waiting for them.

“Ah… Sorry master…” Hassan of Serenity looked at the floor. “Everything I touch… turns to poison. I should never have tried to join this competition.”

“Serenity…” Ritsuka steeled his stomach, ‘It is the duty of a master to suffer hardships for his servants!’ He recalled Artoria’s earlier words picked up a dish containing a middle eastern meal that was rendered unrecognisable by Serenity’s toxic touch. He wolfed it down and turned to the teary-eyed servant. “D-Delicious…” He tried to ignore the sensation that his internal organs were fusing into a single mass of pain, instead focusing on the look of happiness on the Assassin’s face, completely oblivious to Cursed Arm and Hundred Faces watching him warily from the shadows, a stomach pumping kit ready for use at a moment’s notice.

While Ritsuka struggled to walk with Mash’s help, Artoria had already visited several of the competitors and had come to a stop, glaring at the next stop on her gluttonous tour.

“What is this?” Artoria scowled as she beheld a large steel container full of boiling water and various meat and veg.

“It’s a stew father,” Mordred smirked. “I might be a third-rate knight but even I know how to make a decent meal! Feel free to try and it and see for yourself!” ‘Hah! Father loves food. Let’s see him try this and not praise me!’

“I have no desire to eat food from a traitor. It is probably more poisoned than Serenity’s cooking anyway.” Artoria moved on leaving a shell-shocked Mordred.

“W-Well maybe I didn’t want you to eat it anyway! Jackass! Moron!” Mordred crossed his arms and looked away. “Stupid father…”

“Don’t lose hope,” Mash smiled softly at Mordred whilst Ritsuka patted him on the shoulder.

“I don’t get why you’re both looking at me like that but it’s pissing me off,” The Knight of Treachery scoffed and looked away, a hint of an embarrassed blush on his face.

Somewhat recovered, Ritsuka and Mash found themselves at one of the initial contestant’s tables. Raikou smiled sweetly at him and offered him a small tray of dango.

“I originally had the idea to cook you a full meal, but I wouldn’t want to put you to too much trouble. Eating all this food is not good for you.” Raikou mothered Ritsuka, who was in no state to resist her but fortunately there was a sudden clamour and Mash pulled him away, stating that two servants were butting heads and he should intervene.

When they caught up with Artoria they saw her trying to push an irate Ibaraki Douji, whose cheeks had swollen up like a hamster’s, away from Archer Emiya’s table.

“Foul demon, begone will you! I am the judge here and I should taste these sweats!” Artoria declared.

“Foolish human!” Ibaraki yelled after snatching the last of the cake. “I am an Oni and I take what I want! All the sweets are mine!” She cackled arrogantly. “No-one can stop me!”

“Why don’t you take these dumplings and let Artoria-san have some of Archer’s deserts?” Ritsuka offered the dumplings to the Oni, who snatched them up gleefully.

“I accept this meagre offering human!” Ibaraki declared proudly. “But shall not relinquish my grasp on such fine sweets!” She stuffed a whole stick of dango in her mouth then used the skewer to steal some more of Archer’s sweet treats.

“Isn’t that Master’s dango you have there?! Did you steal it from him?” Artoria declared in a loud voice, drawing the attention of a certain motherly berserker.

“What? This is mine! I was given it fair and…” Ibaraki froze up as she felt an unholy amount of killing intent and turned to face a scarily blank faced Raikou.

“What was that, golden insect?” Her voice carried threats of unimaginable pain, and all the small Oni’s courage evaporated as she decided to seek refuge elsewhere. “Why are you eating the dango I made for Master?”

“W—Whaa!” Ibaraki took off in a yellow blur. “Shuten! Shuten! They’re picking on me!”

“Get back here you insect!” Raikou charged after the fleeing Oni, leaving her own stall unguarded and allowing the King of Britons to claim its contents without much competition.

“That was sort of childish don’t you think,” Mash sighed as a smug Artoria helped herself to some of Archer Emiya’s cooking to go with her recently acquired plunder.

“It was a grand strategy as befits the King of Knights!” Artoria declared.

An hour or so later

“I can’t eat another bite…” Ritsuka groaned, wincing as he turned to face Artoria who had just finished off another plate of Tamamo Cat’s cooking.

“Such are the trials of leadership,” Artoria nodded sagely, before reaching for another plate of food. “Still to think that I would be able to taste such a wide variety of food. Being summoned to Chaldea was definitely worth it.”

“Where do you put it all?” Ritsuka wondered aloud before sighing loudly. “Have you made a decision then?”

“Pardon?” The King of Knights turned to face the young man.

“Whose meal was the best?” Ritsuka prompted, gesturing the gathering army of servants.

“Master…” Artoria laid her hand on his shoulder. “It is your duty as master to choose the victor of this event. All I can do is advise you.”

“And your advice is?”

“They were all wonderful.” Artoria nodded sagely before getting up and leaving, a cheerful spring in her step.

“Ah…” Ritsuka started to sweat nervously as the gathered servants looked at him expectantly. “It was a tie?”

His announcement was met with a general murmur of discontent, but it was quickly decided that by most contestants that they had won, but their Master was just trying to spare the feelings of the other contestants and Ritsuka was able to make a hasty retreat.

Archer Emiya chuckled softly as he watched the scene.

“It is nice to see so many servants working together in harmony.” Artoria commented.

“Hm…” Emiya nodded.

“…For the record I believe you won.” Artoria remarked in an off-hand manner before walking away.

Archer watched her go with a soft smile before heading to clean up the kitchen, humming a tune that reminded him of a past life and what could have been.

Back with Mash and Ritsuka

“I’m sorry Senpai,” Mash bowed her head as they returned to his room. “I didn’t intend for you to spend so much time away from your studies.”

“It’s fine,” Ritsuka laughed. “Besides it was nice to see everyone working so hard at something so minor. It’s not a bad thing to have days like this… Day’s where we aren’t worried about fighting to the death or dying horribly.”

“I was genuinely terrified when you ate Serenity’s meal senpai. Plus, my instincts tell me it was a good thing you didn’t eat Kiyohime’s offerings. Even when it is something like this you come far too close to death for my liking.”

“Don’t worry. I know if I die then that’s it… Humanity is doomed.”

“More than that…” Mash mumbled under her breath, “I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you.”

“Hey, did you leave these?” Ritsuka blinked as he held up a small bundle containing the sandwiches Mash had made earlier.

“Ah… They were for you Senpai, but I guess you’re full now so… Senpai?” Mash blinked as he unwrapped them and took a bite.

“They are delicious, thank you.” Ritsuka smiled. “I think they are the best tasting thing I’ve had all day.”

And as she stood there, her face bright red and a strange feeling in her chest, Mash felt as if all the fighting was worth it, if it led to more moments like this.

“Thank you Senpai!”

[darkgreyclouds]

Hey everyone, I’m headed to Anime Expo this week! I’m so excited to be going back to LA ;w; I’ve been hyping up stuff that I’ll be bringing (mostly on Twitter and IG) but here’s an overview of what I’ll be bringing~

I’ve actually got quite a few new things, but I’m gonna highlight some stuff:

Today’s Menu Cú with Cat Reusable Shopping bags will be free gifts with purchase! (These are limited quantity, you must purchase a Fate Item to qualify for these)

New Cú Puppy charm is a limited edition item. I will not be reprinting him. He comes with a tail and is double sided. If you hold him in your hand, it’ll look like he’s cuddling your hand. :’)

FateGO Selfie charms have new characters added: Tamamo, Waver/Rider, Arjuna/Karna, Mordred

MHA High Five charms have new characters: Tsuyu, Shinso, Present Mic, Inasa

New Scáthach Kindercare books are in! They are ~5.5 x 8.25 in, with 26 pages, in full color, Rated: G! It’s the full series in a book!

Inigo Bunny plushes have a special AX package deal! One free print and two buttons will be given per purchase (as long as supplies last)

I’ll be at table E-47! See you there!

[coe-lilium]

Camelot ”Zero”

I’ve recovered the translation for “Camelot Zero”, aka Nasu’s blog post on the Singularity backstory before Chaldea’s arrival and thought others could be interested in it.

Translation is courtesy of BL member McJon and can be found in the Fate Grand Order Story and Lore 3D on p.1009

Beware for feels

[empty-dream]

Me Watching Fate/Apocrypha ep 21

History of humanity is a history of war we have an entire edgy series about it.

The very same series also tells about someone who tries to bring salvation for humanity and look how wrong he went.

It’s mandatory for Type-Moon heroes to stand alone on bloody battlefield with mangled corpse.

Chiron: “That’s arrogant.” Achilles: “So are you and your wish.” Chiron: “Welp, yeah.”

Sometimes I forget Achilles is a rider and not a lancer.

His calling ‘Sensei’ sounds so sincere I can’t

Astolfo vs the bloody laser boom sound effect

“FINALLY I CAN SPEAK MY GREETING WITHOUT GETTING HIT FIRST” -Astolfo

Wow that’s pretty rad laser gun you have Semiramis- Wait, isn’t that a fidget spinner?

“Dodge this.” -Semiramis

“Destroy this” -Astolfo

…… Um, I ain’t holy but why do you have to say “kimochi’ like it’s out of ecchi game

When magecraft fails, call your local sun god.

KARNA’S SMILING HOLY SHIT MY HEART

HE’S PRAISING ASTOLFO HOLY SHIT I CAN’T HE’S SO NOBLE AND BEAUTIFUL

Like, he is, well, fucking Karna, and Astolfo without his magical items is pretty subpar, but he praises him and oh my God you are just the real mvp Karna

And then they go playing tag for the rest of the night.

Yo people you haven’t forgotten that Mordred and Kairi are still alive and kicking and ready to take the grail home

DRIVE WILD MORDRED!

No wait Mordred actually don’t if Kairi dies you die too

Sieg: “He’s obsessed with Siegfried. So I’ll transform into Siegfried and act as decoy.” Jeanne somewhere on the sky: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT SIEG

Karna: “Siegfried?" Sieg!Fried: “Who the hell is Siegfried?” Karna: :(

Damn I know Sieg is not here for enjoying a battle to death but Karna literally has no goal aside from protecting his master and meeting Siegfried once again

They make it look like Astolfo is going on suicide attack and it makes my heart skip a beat even tho I know the ending

HAHAHA EVEN SEMIRAMIS THINKS ASTOLFO IS A GIRL

Ain’t no entrance like ramming your jet to your enemy’s face

I miss Mordred’s trash talk

HAHA Chiron’s running is so stupid-looking what even is the purpose of this animation

“My spear’s true power isn’t to stab people. It’s to make a MMA tournament.” -Achilles

I always love Achilles addressing Chiron with ‘Sensei’ it’s just so very him.

“Wasn’t I always the one who kicked your ass in pankration?” I know Chiron probably doesn’t mean to diss him but I’m still laughing

Let’s have a fair fight- ONE PUUUUUUUUUNCCCHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Everybody’s Kungfu Pankration fighting!

Wow this bare-handed fight scene is actually good like I actually have an idea of their movement

I can’t with these student-teacher talks between their fight I have too much feels

I didn’t exaggerate when I said this is ancient olympic reenactment at 5000 ft above sea level.

See, that’s why nobody wears a long ass scarf in a bare-handed fight Achilles, it will only make you a punching bag

I TOLD YOU I HAVE TOO MUCH FEELS DAMMNIT

“I’ll show you, why I am called One Punch Rider!” -Achilles, punching through Chiron’s torso

100% sure Makoto Furukawa is hired to voice Achilles solely because of this scene

TOO. MUCH. FEELSSSS.

Achilles winning a brutal pankration duel against his teacher and still standing up like a nervous timid student is my new favorite thing

Chiron: “You have defeated me. Now what’s next?” Achilles: “Defeat everyone else and survive.” Chiron: “Really?” Achilles: “Jk I don’t know I didn’t think I’d get this far”

Chiron: “Can u lend one of your noble phantasm to my faction?” Achilles: “U fucking kidding me?” Chiron: “Pretty please with cherry on top?” Achilles: “Ugh okay okay!”

I still think Chiron is a damn skilled wordsmith.

“Well, it’s kinda an asshole move but it’s pretty convenient to use so, yeah.” -Chiron, on Antares Snipe.

His last words are to pray for Fiore and Caules to live brightly like the stars that’s so beautiful

His name was Chiron and he died a great servant plus a great teacher

“Sensei that was unfair as fuck.” -Achilles, just like every pupil on their teacher

Atalanta: “RULLLERRRRRRRRR!!!!!” Achilles: “Crap she gets worse.”

Saori Hayami is just the best

Atalanta: “Jack the ripper weren’t murderers!” Jeanne: “Bitch tell that to the people they have tortured and killed.”

Jeanne’s acceptance on being called a ‘child murderer’ by Atalanta is practically a big “Sigh, whatever."

Jeanne: “Yeah I’m bad for exorcising those killer kids. Whatcha gonna do bout it?” Atalanta: “Discard my heroic side and become insane monster to kill you.” Jeanne: “That’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard."

And here is Atalanta, Fate/Apocrypha poster girl of “You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain.”

Achilles: “I have business with you. Rider to Rider.” Astolfo: “Sounds shady. I’m in."

NEXT: If it’s not about the ultimate reason why I watch this show in the first place then I’ll eat my shoe