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morgana-ren · 4 months

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Gortash and Durge writing you say? 👀

Oh yes, I find their dynamic absolutely fascinating. I hate it, but I love Gortash. I find him captivating. He's completely fascinating. I love his dynamic with Durge, and I've thought about it more than I care to admit. I've known about the stinky Dead Three for a long while since I grew up on DnD, and their followers interest me, but Banites first and foremost, because Bane has a code. He is not like Bhaal who just wants wanton death and murder and blood. He is not like Myrkul who his whims are slightly unknowable but revolve around death and the capture of souls. He has very real aspirations and structure for his followers. He has clawed his way into Godhood and he expects greatness from those who claim to follow him.

Here's the fun thing people forget about Banites: their entire schtick is domination. The strong eat the weak; The strong take as they please, and if you cannot fend them off, or defend yourself, or stop them, you deserve whatever happens to you. It's a strength hierarchy where the smartest, most powerful, and therefore, the most deserving rest at the top, and failure is not an option. Hate, tyranny, all of their portfolio sounds very hacky, but it's actually quite intricate and laid out.

Gortash is, in essence, the Banite prince. He is Bane's chosen. Of all the Banites, of all the power in Toril, it was Gortash that was chosen. His power was not inherited power. It was not swindled. It was clawed and torn and ripped and shredded by nails and strength and bloody teeth. He earned Lord Bane's respect. He worked his way to the top from literal hell through sheer fucking willpower and desperation, and that is a constant you will find in Banite culture.

The weak do not survive. They are fodder for the strong.

That is why Durge and Gortash would have worked in the beginning. Gortash respects strength. He respects intelligence. He respects control. When Banites look at Bhaalists, they see a cult of undisciplined, violent little edgelords who worship the edgelord supreme who stole full Godhood from their Lord. Gortash looks at Orin and sees an unhinged, obnoxious, desperate little thrall of Bhaal with daddy issues and a distinct lack of control or principles or any redeeming qualities. She isn't clever, or patient, or calculated. She wants death death death now now now red red blood sweet blood red and sticky and sweet impulse impulse, death death--

And he finds it lacking, to say the least. He will work with her because Lord Bane commands it. But in truth? He doesn't respect her at all. He openly shows dislike for her, and distaste at her proclivities. She actively defies his beliefs in a strong mind, a strong will, and a strong sense of control.

But Durge?

He expresses admiration for Durge. He expresses genuine kindness as far as he is able and a very real desire to be around them, work with them, and that is the highest compliment a Banite can give. They see everyone else as simple-minded, foolish, and weak. But Durge? He liked them. He respected them. He welcomes them back after they were bested (a huge sign of weakness by Banite standards) by their shitty little sister and have foiled his plans and thrown a wrench in his whole work.

He found an equal. He puts heavy emphasis on equal. Again, for Banites, no one is their equal. It goes against their entire theological belief structure. Strength, strength, earn, earn, power, strength, blood. The scale is a triangle and there is only room for one at the top. Only one can be the best. Only one takes that power and deserves it.

Gortash will not betray you if you work with him. He will hold fast to his word. He will share power. He will be wary of you, as all Banites are (because they are in a religion where you must be smarter and stronger and constantly ready for backstabbing especially when it comes to the parallel Gods of the Dead Three) but he will trust you and work with you. He will test you and test your mettle and ensure that you are as sharp and respectable as ever, but that is the nature of Banites. Earning their respect is a constant.

(It bugs me how easily they killed him off, but to be honest, I understand that from a story perspective, there is no other way. They couldn't have him sticking around. He was an antagonist. They couldn't flesh out an entirely different story and ending if you decided to be with him. He had to die, one way or another. But choosing to keep him around until the sticky end if you keep your word? That was a deliberate choice. It was showing his respect for Durge-- and respect is earned with fire and blood, and it was earned between them.)

Banites actually do have tenants. They have a code they live by. They have a very strict code, actually. You can see glimpses of it with Gortash and his holy books. You earn power by right of might. Not by swindling and cheating and lying and stealing. Gortash has nothing to gain from pretending to like Durge. It would be seen as a weakness and a form of submission to them to play so so nice. Dominance is required.

Gortash breaks this code. He breaks it with the lonely nobles he 'seduces.' Using sexual prowess is, in a way, weak, because it means you are not strong or capable enough to take what is yours. You are 'playing nice.' You are using wiles rather than asserting your raw fucking power. False kindness and compassion is actually looked down upon, if I recall correctly. Your strength lies in yourself. Not your cock. Not your body. It's you.

I'm sure Gortash had to pay penance for this, but he probably deemed it necessary for a plan of such an ambitious scale. Sacrifices had to be made.

What I'm saying is that I highly, highly doubt he would play nicely with Durge simply to smooth the path. It goes against everything he believes. Swindling money from some lonely rich housewife? Well, he can pay for that. But do you think Bane would have sat by and watched him play submissive to his enemy's literal blood-child?

No. Durge earned that. And so too did Gortash.

Gortash showed ferocity and prowess. He showed a willingness to work together, which is exclusive to Banites almost specifically. He never ever kneeled before Bhaal in any regard, but he did earn Durge's respect with their raw capacity for murder and blood. He showed initiative. There was genuine conflict in Durge's mind over their admiration for Gortash and knowing that they would, inevitably, be forced to betray him to end the world in blood.

They admired each other. They liked each other, which it seems like Gortash is more willing to openly admit because it doesn't go against his beliefs. They have proved themselves strong and smart. They have, in a way, earned Lord Bane's respect as well, and working with them is no weakness. It is no ploy because Durge is a 'threat' and must be placated. He likes them. He admires them.

Durge has a lot of guilt for liking Gortash. They try to rationalize and justify it at every turn, seeking penance from their father, writing scrambled notes on why why why. But Gortash? Gortash accepts it. Durge has earned their respect. It is no weakness to accept this.

I have no doubt that Bane had his own whims in mind. In the end, I'm sure he wanted all that power for himself. That's his entire gimmick. He's pissed off at Bhaal and Myrkul because he feels like they took power that was rightfully his. Gortash even outright says that their alliance can never be truly repaired; it is not in their nature. I'm sure it would have deeply conflicted Gortash when Bane finally put forth his Black Hand and Command and told him what must be done.

The child of Bhaal must die. The power must go unto the righteous and the deserving.

And I'm sure Gortash was already thinking of ways to circumvent this. He knows his Lord and his designs and peculiarities.

He praises Durge's ability to resist Bhaal's influence. He commends your control. He commends when you show restraint and condemns when your sibling does not. Perhaps he had fully intended to make them his Banite other. Perhaps he thought they could be swayed and brought unto Bane. Durge showed resentment at being controlled and forced and maneuvered about-- and Gortash never had that issue. Bane allowed him the space to conquer, and trusted his will and intellect. Perhaps Gortash thought that eventually, Bane might appeal to Durge-- and could free them.

I have found that the arrogance of Banites is their downfall. They earn their power and their right, but they forget: never underestimate your opponent. The folly of a clever man is to think the world around him a fool. And Banites commit this cardinal sin, and it plummets them every time.

After all, the Netherbrain was using the arrogance of Bane to puppet him and his followers into freedom and the Grand Design. Hell, they did most of the work for it. It was using the destructive and murderous need of Bhaal. The deathly urges of Myrkul. In a way, they're sort of one of a kind. That arrogance. That conceit. That raw need for ultimate control. It was a Banite and a Bhaalist that hand in unlovable hand almost ended all of existence.

But Gortash was not solely Banite. He was mortal, as was Durge. He had other wants and needs and desires, however much his religion took up of himself. He could see real value in Durge. He saw something in them: An equal. By nature, again, Banites do not have equals.

But Gortash spent his life alone. He spend it miserable and clawing, with no one anywhere caring for him. He was never given anything. He was forced to take; the very thing that drove him into the arms of Bane in the first place. A God that justified his will and recognized his ambition and power and the repulsive things it takes and justifies them inherently. The kind and compassionate and loved do not turn to Bane. The desperate and traumatized and hateful turn to Bane. He went from a captive in hell sold to a warlock by his parents, and then to a devil, and then used his sheer fucking intellect and will to escape. He went from a lowly no one loved by not even his parents to the most acclaimed, beloved man in the entire fucking city that once raised him in the gutters. He did not only take that throne where it did not exist-- he created one to sit upon.

And he was going to sit upon it alone forever.

But he looked at Durge and saw someone of similar struggle. Someone who has never been loved. Never coddled. Never cared for. Someone who was born to be a tool (feed his family's debts/serve thy Father's will) and had no will of their own (obey the devil to whom you belong and accept your place at his feet/you are an extension of your Father's clawed and bloody hand with no mind of your own) and had been seemingly created only to suffer (You are not loved, you are used and you will obey/ You are not loved, you are used, and you will obey) and he took them into himself.

Hand in unlovable fucking hand, they could have had everything.

They could have been good for each other.

#morgana and friends #gortash x durge #gortash #durge #me and my banite rambling #forgive me i know you probably wanted like WRITING but I had to get this out #don't worry I'll actually write something less whiny and faux-philosophical and get around to the interesting smut later tonight hopefully

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yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt · 8 months

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More Nonsense from My Ambrosius Stan Account Post:

As someone who got on Tumblr a couple years ago not really knowing the culture and rarely posts because I don't think anyone cares about the silly worms in my brain I'd like to give everyone who thought it was funny and left a like or a tag or a reblog a very I Love You and here is some more thoughts about it I had through the day that I thought nobody would care about but am posting now

The account was named @gold_loin_love and gained notoriety for being the only stan account Ambrosius actually followed

During the live stream Ballister answered the questions (that he had his followers submit beforehand) while still in character, despite the fact that he was laughing his ass off and Ambrosius was with him.

Example: "'Do you think Ballister and Ambrosius are going to get divorced?' Absolutely. They're terrible together and honestly not even cute. They probably had some cringy beach wedding with their weird pink child officiating. Ew, next question"

Ambrosius would frequently interject

"Do I think Ambrosius was toxic for cutting off Ballister's arm?"

Ambrosius, stealing the phone: "Yes he needs to be cancelled immediately."

Ballister, taking it back: "Wrong that weird creep deserved it to be honest"

He read a couple questions that were defending him and after giving them his joke answer about how they were wrong, thanked them sincerely

(sad time) The first thing he posted after the events of the movie, during which he obviously wasn't posting although how fucking funny would it have been to be Ambrosius and see Ballister's fake stan account post "lol get his ass I hope he died" over footage of him MAIMING HIM in light of all that was happening was "I'm sorry that I've been gone, the death of the Queen really took a toll on me, she was a real role model and inspiration of mine. I'm especially sorry to Ambrosius. I wish I hadn't run away. I wish I'd been there for you through all this, I know it must have been so hard. I really hope everyone forgives him."

(sad time over, silliness resumed) He'd use the account to make fun of Ambrosius and himself in every capacity imaginable

"Check out what Ambrosius wore to the national conference, I love how it's so shiny you can't tell how busy and incongruent the patterns are 😍 we love a maximalist king!!!"

"Ballister Ballhard surprises nobody wearing armor he got at the emo booth of a Renaissance Fair."

There is so much potential for this and I'd love to see more of Ballister being a silly goofball

#nimona #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin #goldenheart #idk tumblr culture if i do something wrong pls tell me #im always scared to post if i might commit a faux pas #and to the people who said they'd want to draw this or write or read about it #you have my every permission #and i love you #if someone made something inspired by my cringe brain?#id cry so hard i threw up from love #ive stolen so many people's headcanons for the jumbled fic in my google drive that will never see the light of dat

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eri-223 · 6 months

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Eris Morn sat in her reclaimed Moon habitat and enjoyed her victory. Chamomile tea, brought so far, steamed in the mug in her hands. What sign would she find at the bottom of the cup? Her bare-metal habitat cocooned her with charms and blankets. A door never meant to hang open had dug a deep swipe into regolith. Eris sighed. With hard-won discipline she told herself how she felt: I have won. I have taken my long-sought revenge.

Crota. Oryx. Her fingerprints marked the destruction of each Hive ruler. Now she had banished Xivu Arath, a less direct blow than the first two, but still a final strike.

And Savathûn. Oh, Savathûn and her ludibrium. Eris held Savathûn’s Ghost as collateral, and what an impossible statement that would have been when Eris first heard the Witch-Queen’s name! Eris and Savathûn had played their cards against each other, not Whispers but something with higher stakes.

Eris resettled her tense hands around her tea. She breathed in the scents of chamomile and sugar. Don’t focus on the game. The pieces have been put away. See, there they sleep.

The Guardian had been right to claim Xivu could not be defeated by fighting. Ikora, too, had been well-meaning, when she was wary of Eris taking Oryx’s throne. She had been right to worry: the power had made Eris want to take more power. But Ikora also had a right to worry, Eris thought, in the way the people who looked at Eris herself with suspicion did not. Ikora had held a Hive worm in her own hands. The Warlock Vanguard had earned enough trust that Eris let Ikora worry for her. Guardians who had suspected Eris of being a Hive agent from the moment she returned from the Hellmouth had not.

The power of the tithe-taking had insisted on itself, the way the sword logic claimed it did. And yet, Eris had known exactly how to resist it because she had planned out step by step what meeting Savathûn again would look like. She had been able to resist it because, despite every Guardian who suggested she might have a grand and cruel plan, she did believe in the value of Ikora’s quiet libraries in the Tower. She believed in the peace humanity had carved out and in the determination of its enemies. Eris Morn had never wanted to join the Hive, even as she took from them more and more of what she needed.

Her plan had been in support of the Light all along, and she would not be ashamed of having a plan.

Instead, she had gained her last victory for her fireteam. Scale-clad, dripping with ichor from her eyes and with tithe-blood in her magic, she had become physically unrecognizable to her old friends but utterly reshaped by her love for them. Their Nightmares no longer disturbed her sleep. (She glanced at the beads around her wrist, the technique Sai taught her.) She loved her lost fireteam in memory. Killing Savathûn for her tithes and sundering Xivu Arath from her throne world had been the culmination of the Raid against Crota.

Finally, the long quest was over.

Instead of her fireteam she had Ikora and the Guardian. Even Savathûn, Xivu Arath, and Immaru had helped Eris take her vengeance.

Six, who ascended out of a Pit.

In another world Eris could have taken the Dreadnaught. She had felt the dead ship as she held Xivu Arath’s soul, all of its empty catacombs and dust-caked armaments. Had she, in that moment of rejecting all of that power, won the Flower Game? Had she stepped outside of its bonds? Did one player leaving the board simply leave room for another to step in? After all this time?

The Guardian would see those flowers in the flesh soon, when the portal opened.

Eris can take the vacancy and leave it again.

Eris sat and enjoyed her victory. She thought of how she had felt firing the Crow’s Light-imbued gun, and smiled. She thought of the heavy swing of the sword as she had wound up, and the green burst and old-coin smell of Savathûn’s blood, and smiled.

Her mind was quiet and open like an eggshell. Dust moved in waves and devils across the surface of the Moon. Eris’ books sat with her, her candles, her cards. She finished the tea, its warmth in her mouth. The dregs held no portents at all.

#destiny 2 #writings #eris morn #season of the witch #destiny 2 spoilers #faux grimoire

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canthandlethishit · 1 month

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prompt: timetravel fix it (?)

Damian somehow traveled back in time and meet robin!Jason mistaking him for Dick, after a while he caught up and realized, Jason was headed out to the place he’d be taken and later be killed at the hands of joker, Damian now have to contemplate changing the timeline to save Jason or not

go wild

#it could go all fun and rainbows and jason in the future personally collecting the siblings and finally gets to meet damian and woah happy #or it could go the time travel stuff is very fragile and telling jason could mean great alternative future where everything goes to shit an #and damian is stopped from revealing and he leaves and grieving sad when he returned and batfam notices but he wont talk wont tell what #happened and finally jason turns to check up on him in his faux aloofness and damian gives him a hug or sth #and damian’s grief is lessened by the end of the night because he realized a piece of the brother he knew remained and not all is lost #jason todd #robin #damian al ghul #red hood #batfam #batman #damian could also idk get an insight onto dick in his angsty angry teen days ig s #if you still want more extra plot stuff #but if youre goin timelines are sensitive route damian shouldnt meet too many people voluntarily #batfam prompt #writing prompt #ao3 #robin!jason #robin!damian

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laceratedlamiaceae · 2 months

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ok i know what gets tumblr to watch movies so here's a werewolves being gay compilation. watch faux paws

#i'm mostly shilling this movie so hard because i think i might actually write fic for it and i want someone to actually read it lol #faux paws #aka the:#gay #werewolf #movie

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faux-fm · 7 days

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Belated WIP Wednesday 🗡️

thanks for the tag, @loki-is-my-kink-awakening xD

working on a big fic wip and this part from the fic should be intriguing! wonder what the heck did Don saw there 🤔

With Don taking charge of the house once more, the boys were finally allowed to play outside. Although they were disappointed to hear their dad will not be partaking in their game of pretend medieval, understandably they left him in his own accord and let their imagination fulfill the empty space that was Don, the king. Not that he didn't want to play along, but a couple of rude customers, the clouds blanketing over Cleveland, and a future lacking certainty had made his heart clouded with cynicism. Deep down, he knew this isn't a mindset a Salesman Don would show outside. However, how would he cope with the piling burden on his back? He was not religious by any means, but, just for today, he would pray for a sign. Just before he was able to drift away on the couch, he felt a tug on his vest. He blinked for several times to see his sons were yelling something at him, amazement sparkled on their faces. "Dad! Quick! You need to go outside!" Kevin exclaimed. "There are two weird people in front of our house, said they're waiting for you!" Sean added in the details. "What? What weird people?" Don questioned. Were they following him back home, he wondered. "One of them looks like you!" Okay, my kids are making stuff up, Don concluded. The flight-or-fight instincts may had waned as soon as it had arrived, but the description had weirded him enough to finally join this new game of pretend as he got up from the couch. Kevin and Sean were gifted with unbridled imagination, there was no doubt about that. Don reminisced the one time they wanted to play spy, with him as the villainous mastermind. He tasked the boys with finding clues to beat him. Don was so invested with the game, he actually gave it a lot of thoughts hiding the objects so the boys had a hard time looking for them, with trails that were easy to miss. A phone on the countertop, a note on the fridge, a remote control on the backyard, and a toy knife near a tree later, they were able to find Don in his secret lair, known as the basement. Later that day, as part of the agreement, they were treated with their favorite flavors of ice cream. Don thought this would be the sequel of the spy game they had few months ago, as he reached the door first to open it. However, he was faced with the strangest occurrence he had ever seen in his whole life.

This is open ended so for everyone who sees this, be my guest :D

#wip wednesday #faux writes #long post

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f1-stuff · 6 months

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Thank you for tagging me @c2-eh ! ❤️ Let's see if we can get @vegasgrandprix @penaltyboxboxbox @nottiinrosso and @ayceeofspades to do this 😁 (even if you only share 1 idea, I will Eat It Up...)

tell me about 1-5 ideas that you’ve not written a single word for yet. notes don’t count. (I have so many...this will be hard. All are charlos bc I have a problem.)

Last of Us AU - You know that episode with Bill and Frank? Yeah, that's where this idea came from. Carlos makes a fortress out of his Mallorca home after the apocalypse goes down, and finds Charles in one of his traps one day. Carlos hasn't interacted with a non-infected human in years, but he lets Charles into his home to shower and eat...and other things.

Stepford Wives/Inception AU - I had this idea of like charlos in the suburbs - married, white-picket fence etc. But actually, it's all a dream (they've been incepted) and they slowly figure out that it's not reality, and remember that they're F1 drivers who are not in fact married. The dream collapses and they return to their real lives, only to kinda miss being a married couple lol

Sex Competition AU - asfghfhsjgdk so this idea came to me like...what if charlos think they're both better than the other in bed, and the only way to prove it is to watch each other with the same girl and have her (after signing an NDA ofc) tell them who's better at sex. But then she says their better than each other in different areas. And this bothers them immensely. So they decide the only way to settle it is to experience for themselves what the other is so good at smhhh these IDIOTS

Princess Diaries 2 AU - Charles is Mia and Carlos is Chris Pine... Mostly bc I want that garden party scene where Nicholas kisses Mia mid-argument and then she somehow makes them both fall into the fountain. Also, charlos getting caught sneaking out of closets in the palace, and Charles is fuming like 'No, I hate him!! It's not what you think!' Also, Carlos Sr being mustache-twirly villain who's trying to get his son to steal the throne from Charles, and his son is like 'I know! I'll seduce him!' (Carlos Sr: 😕 'You'll...what now?') We talked about this extensively in the discord and it was sooo fun. I'm determined to write it one day if someone else doesn't do it first.

Stripper AU - I had two ideas for this: #1, they're both strippers at the same club, and Carlos does the more "manly" stripping (firefighter, boxer, construction worker etc.) while Charles does the more "twink" stuff (heels + lingerie, you get me). #2, based on this real story I read about, charles is a stripper who gets his own gigs on days off. Someone (Carlos) hires him to come once a week and clean his apartment in only his underwear, and that's it. At least, for a while...😅

#and there's sooo many other ideas i wanna write...#(girl dads fic pacific rim au groundhog day fic rbr!carlos fic fake dating au (inspired by that 'faux beau' hannah montana ep ashfgahdk))..#but these are probably the most fleshed out ones lmao #tag game #fic game #rpf #charlos #c2-eh

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roseltheteacup · 4 months

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Bomb Rush Cyberfunk: Story Headcanons, Faux

Major story spoilers under the cut.

Faux has undiagnosed schizophrenia, but I'll be talking about his anxiety as a result of the psychosis he experiences, specifically.

Despite how suspicious others seem to be of him, I personally can't see him always being as cruel as we see him at the end of the game. He definitely knows how to sweet talk people and get them to trust him, but he never had any grand plans to kill all writers. At worst, he felt no remorse in letting other writers pay for his crimes. His charisma played a part in convincing his father to keep his record clean, but he gradually grew to regret and detest this. Faux was always aware of how others would treat him if they knew his father was a cop. Too aware, in fact. It weighed him down and pulled at him and caused him to see many of his relationships as strained for the fact that he couldn't let anyone know of his background.

Regardless if he was doing it to himself or not, Faux was haunted by thoughts of his peers discovering his roots. Of the community he thrived in plotting to overthrow and abandon him, and he tormented himself by not reaching out to his two closest friends: DJ Cyber and Felix.

Felix, of course, discovered Faux’s roots anyway. He did not tell Faux about this.

He still saw the Big 3 as comforting, though. Cyber and Felix were, naturally, the furthest you can be from the police, so it gave him a rare peace of mind whenever they were together.

It didn't last forever. The day Felix announced that he would be going solo for All City was the day that Faux broke. All of his fears, to him, were true. Felix abandoned them. He abandoned him. Surely, it was all because of what Faux had done, and he would go on to plot the end of Faux’s career as a writer. To Faux, that was surely what it meant.

Perhaps Faux was in love with Felix. Perhaps, he was in love with both of them. Whatever it was, it only made Felix’s choice hurt more, and Faux’s mental state worse.

Faux’s downward spiral was kept entirely to himself. He practically disappeared off the face of the earth once Felix went solo for All City. That was until Felix finally got into contact with him again and asked Faux to help him throw up some graffiti one night, assuming that it would be casual and low stress for both of them.

I still don't believe that Felix’s death was plotted intricately beforehand. The combination of Solace being present, everyone's opinion on Faux, and how him and Felix were so close to the building Cyber and Prince were located– all of this just leads me to believe that the murder was an impulsive decision, spawned through everything that had been on Faux’s mind. A psychotic episode. He just couldn't take it anymore, and reacted in the worst possible way he could have because he simply didn't know what else to do. And he had to live with that. Or, at least until Cyber presumably killed him that night at the police station.

But Faux did not die. He was captured, and made to be the test subject against his will for the unseeable future. Time scraped by him while he was hooked up to Algo– painful and unrelenting, where he could do nothing but sit as a pathetic human head and think about everything that had led him to his situation. Whatever shreds he had left of a coherent mental state soon rotted away as he began to lose his mind.

His operation to kill all writers was also not planned. Initially, at least. Throughout the first half of Red’s journey, Faux merely provided misinformation in order to get more writers arrested and injured. He was also, at the time, still trying to retrieve his body. Reports of a “stolen body” began circulating because he really did want his full self back.

By the time the BRC challenges DOT EXE in Millennium Mall, Faux is set on killing any writers who get in his way, and he establishes control over the police force using the same technology that they had used to flay his mind for information. Faux is, to his credit, dastardly cunning when he wants to be, but it just so turned out that this time it was to every writer’s detriment. Through this control, he could call in as many officers and mecha as he pleased, and it even extended to him being able to contact Devil Theory for a deal, in which he would unceremoniously double-cross them once he got what he wanted.

Faux has Berlage killed and begins modifying himself, finally making his escape from the bureau’s basement inside the mecha tank we see him piloting after Futurism is defeated. In Mataan, he's determined to kill all writers, regardless if they've crossed him or not.

About Rietveld; I initially gave Faux the benefit of the doubt that he spared her, but given how far gone he is at that point it's more fair to say that Rietveld is just incredibly skilled at self defence and managed to escape him alive.

Despite all of his plotting and bloodlust, when confronting the writers in Mataan, a single thread of composure holds Faux back. That is until he attempts to kill Felix and gets sprayed in the face with paint. It's no holds barred at that point. Faux is both out of his mind and intoxicated with spray paint fumes, and it leads him to scrap whatever humanity he had left– transforming into a horrifying beast of metal and wires. He becomes the monster that he thought everyone saw him as.

It's clear that he still intended to return to a human form after wiping out all writers, though, because he kept Solace alive.

Faux fights and screams until his final moments and spends his last line still trying to communicate how he feels.

But nothing changes.

#can you tell that I'm itching to write stuff on this game but I have literally no fic ideas #the entire faux think piece #he skates around and my brain is the half pipe #bomb rush #bomb rush cyberfunk #brc faux #bomb rush cyberfunk spoilers #headcanons #cyfaux #faulix

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randomnameless · 2 months

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Reverse uno card : Jugdral edition

2014 : "yay, i can't wait for a Judgral remake, with updated graphics!!!"

2024 : "gods please no remake"

What happened in ten years to make me dread the remake I would have sold my soul for back in the days?

Well... IS's policies and new writing, mainly.

While I was joking about "Genealogy of the Holy Self Insert" in 2015, I still had faith in eventual Jugdral remakes. Sure, we were in the big Fateswakening era where the only things I could frown at IS were the "writings" worshipping self inserts (Ryoma being jealous of Corn's talents, when Corn was like, 5?) - but I still had hope for a more "serious" FE, and I first I was very delighted by FE15 - no self insert, a more "serious" setting, no hyperbolic time chambers to try to explain in watsonian words why second gens exist, etc...

But there was still something ringing dead wrong with FE15, which I only noticed thanks to FE16 and its years of discourse - at one point, IS's writing went in a certain direction that makes it impossible, imo, for us to have a "correct" Jugdral remake, as long as IS still follows this direction.

I'm not talking about uwufest - even if it is part of the larger problem - but back in FE15, I remember being really pissed at the schizophrenia of the plot : saying one thing and the inverse at the same time.

The narration reminds us of the classic Kaga lesson : whatever madness exists in dragon/gods, a greater madness/evil lurks in the heart of men.

And yet, we have the Hero (who was so cajoled by the plot that, at times, you have to wonder if Alm wasn't the devs's self insert, he's lavished with praises almost as extensively as Ike was!) saying nonsense - without being contradicted by characters at all (or when Celica does it, she admits later she's wrong) - like Duma being responsible, mainly, for the events that transpired in Valentia and, novelty that wouldn't have been in the original game since the character was made for the remake, Berkut's fall and madness.

By that point in the game, the player saw that Berkut hunts low class people for what he sees and perceives as sport, is the textbook classicist asshat noble, but has a lot of pression on his shoulders due to his role of being the heir of the Empire, pression that isn't alleviated at all by his Uncle who mocks him and refuses to give him a third chance... to fight against a person said uncle very well knows cannot be defeated by Berkut himself, especially as said Uncle pretended to "care" for him, only to pit him against his trueborn son whom he names his heir just before dying.

Point is : Berkut feels betrayed by Rudy and goes mad - because of this betrayal : Rudolph named him heir when he fully knew Alm was alive and was the true heir he always wanted, in Berkut's eyes, no matter what he did, it wouldn't have mattered to Rudolph since Rudolph planned on giving Alm his throne since day 1 - of course, without telling him a thing and making him believe he would one day become Emperor.

Is it Duma's fault that Berkut went off the deep-end in Part 4? Because Rudolph's shit gambit involved playing with the life of his nephew and crush it in a bid to have Alm unify the continent against Duma ? Or... it's just Rudolph being an asshole, not curbing the worst of his nephew tendencies (and in a larger part, of Rigel in general) ?

Now, Rinea. She too, is called one of Duma's victims, and yet, who pushed her in Duma's magic pyre that turns women in witches? Duma himself?

No.

Berkut, who already, when pissed tells her "silence woman" pushes his fiancée and love of his life in a pyre to sacrifice her, because in his grief and rage (caused by Rudy!!!) Rinea is only a pawn to be sacrificed to gain more power to kill Alm. Sure sure, Berkut is redeemed in death and Rinea - in a classic Kaga style writing that wasn't here made by Kaga since this plot is basically new so where the fuck does this sexism come from - forgives him and they both die and ascend to another plane of existence.

The point is, despite what Alm says, Berkut and Rinea's fates weren't caused by Duma's degeneration - but by Rudolph and Berkut's own actions.

Heck, I remember when I was sort of live-blogging my run back then, Desaix's greed and lust for power wasn't fueled by Mila's apathy : it wasn't Mila who burnt Celica's house and tried to cook Conrad, it was Desaix, and why Desaix did it? Because he wanted to become king. That's it, and that's all.

So why FE15 - while giving the Kaga message - still tries its hardest to pin the blame of everything "wrong that happened" on... dragon gods, refusing to acknowledge the own responsibilities of humans in their suffering?

I think we had that lunar dialogue at the end of FE15 (or in part 4?) where Clive (i think?) tells Alm without gods giving their blessings, people in Valentia will starve, and Alm saying that may be so, but ultimately Valentia will survive and work hard through those upcoming harsh times to demonstrate how humans, when they work together, can achieve things without needing to rely on Gods - basically, King Alm tells his people to starve now because Humanity will come out stronger afterwards, since they will have learnt to grow their own food without needing magic dragon blessings to make the ground fertile.

... yeah. That's definitely going to work.

FE15 took the Kaga lesson to try to hammer some "humanity fuck yeah!" Square JRPG message and it completely messed up what FE2 tried to say.

(I confess, retconning Duma'n'Mila in dragon gods like Naga from Archanea was a big part in this shitstorm - that was also retconned to explain Grima from FE13! - i mean Duma'n'Mila have to die because they're degenerating, but they didn't get the memo from Gotoh living overseas that degeneration can be stopped by using dragonstones, instead of being a fatality that must be dealt with death...)

Humans cannot be held responsible for what they did, everything BaD that happened is somehow due to the influence of dragon-gods : even if it means "suffering" and sacrificing a part of your population, this choice is a good one to get rid of the obviously nefarious influence of dragon-gods.

So, is it so surprising that FE16 - the most popular title in the franchise uwu - went in the same direction?

Even if it tried to mitigate the "gods BaD" spiel because the avatar - Billy - is the Goddess reborn, the thing is the CoS - aka the dragon - is blamed for humanity's mistakes through each route (AM dodges the question completely) and all routes end up with the dragon going away (her skull being cracked open, or she retires, or she dies off-screen, or she dies because the plot commands so unless you want, as the player, to shag her).

"But in VW, Claude reconsiders his initial stance!"

And yet, it is only off-screen that he seemingly becomes aware that Fodlan people are not superpals with Almyra because Almyra raids them, not because Rhea told them Almyrans are BaD, that's why he tries to negotiate - off-screen and post-game - some sort of ceasefire between the two parties, or at least make it so Almyra doesn't try to raid Fodlan every Thursday for their weekly dick measuring contest.

No matter the ending, Rhea retires and in the worst support, muses on her failings for "having turned a blind eye" to Fodlan and its people in her quest to resurrect Sothis : aka, Rhea (and the game, since Billy doesn't tell her anything) believes Fodlan's state is due to her inaction and not, you know, the action of the humans who lived in the continent and ruined it of their own volition.

Which is also what fuels the endless discourse about what kind of power she has - or not : Rhea BaD for using her power, but also BaD for not using it and letting humans to their own devices.

Supreme Leader's memetastic line from the trailers ring even more true : in Fodlan, Crusts are to blame for everything. For Adrestian being attracted to young women because otherwise without crests they surely wouldn't seek to bed a 12 years old Doro, for Miklan trying to murder his younger brother (and not because, at least FE16 wise, Miklan is a terrible person who is very jealous and not afraid to kill even a child to get what he feels like he deserves), and for people basically killing their wives/letting their daughters die to get a "suitable" heir.

Humanity/Humans can get a pass for doing horrible things (Berkut burning his fiancée alive) because those horrible things can sort of be linked to "dragon-gods", and so, the blame exclusively lays at their feet.

I am always reminded of that Obi-Wan reply to Anakin when Ani accuses him of having turned Padmé "against" him, Obi-Wan basically tells him he brought this upon himself.

Now, what would Obi-Wan tell a non-recruited Doro who blames the Goddess for the War, the leader she is actually protecting, started?

Billy is no Obi-Wan, so we are left in this limbo where characters are telling you everything wrong that happens in Fodlan is due to "dragon blood" aka their existence and presence, even dragons who blame themselves for "being blind" - but not once do we have the Kaga message, or an Obi-Wan reminding people that they have to take responsability for their own actions : Hanneman will blame crests (dragons) for having killed his sister, but not the man who forced her (marital abuse?) to bear him many heirs until one was "good enough" for him.

Claude blames dragons for creating, both literal and metaphorical walls between Fodlan and Almyra - and it's only in his best ending, after the game credits and off-screen that he seems to realise that those walls were built by Almyrans raiders.

"enough about the fodlan rant, what about jugdral?"

Jugdral was sort of unique for not having a giant eldritch abomination as a boss, unlike the later FE8, we never fight Loptyr in his "original" form, Loptyr is fought through his host, Julius.

And I love Jugdral because unlike Fodlan, the local evil death cult might stage a few skirmishes and manipulations here and there, but Jugdral people are... asses, in general.

Elliot will mount an army to seduce Raquie while Eldie is away - and it's not because Manfroy told him to seduce her, no, Elliot does it from his own will.

Reptor'n'Langobalt'n'Andrei rebel against Kurth and Azmur? Sure, Arvis is pulling some of their strings, but Reptor'n'Langobalt are ambitious, even without Manfroy whispering anything.

Arvis pulls out his gambit... with Manfroy's help (and blackmail?), but also because he genuinely thinks he can sacrifice lives to make HIS world a reality because HE has great ideas about how the world should be and will torch anyone who opposes him.

F!Lewyn, as much as I dislike the character, reminds the cast that while Travant's actions might seem justified to him and to the Thracian people, he is still a man who assaulted a bunch of randoms + non-combattants in a desert, amushed them and slaughtered them : no matter his reasons and how justified he was, Travant is still a criminal to Jugdral people.

In Jugdral, people do things and have to take responsability for it - Oldvis basically dies after losing everything he had - by Seliph's hand (and with his own participation!!) because Oldvis has to take responsability for what he did in Barhara. Ditto for Travant, who accepts to die if it means the peninsula will be united (tfw his son doesn't understand what he meant !).

Dragon blood and Dragon people are never blamed for the shitty state Jugdral is in in the 1st or even 2nd gen, if Danan turned Isaach in giant brothel, it's not Julius-Loptyr who asked him to do so, nor Manfroy.

At least, that was the case for the pre FE15/FEH/FE16 Jugdral.

Now...

While I want to blame FE16 for this shift, I know the roots are more ancient (FE15?), IS's writing seems to favour a certain narrative, aka people having sad and or complicated fates because of their brands and Holy Blood - when the ONLY case of having a fate tied to Holy Blood was the Curse of the Gae Bolg, aka a sibling quarrel between Dain and Noba that will eventually "curse" Noba descendants, but through the events of the game we know that curse is more like a prophecy : Quan doesn't die because he had Noba Holy Blood, Quan dies because Travant kills him in Yied. Why Travant kills him? FE5 reveals Quan and his forefathers are basically letting Thracians starve and refuse to "give" them arable lands, or even export food.

Now, did Travant kill Quan because Quan had major Noba Holy Blood, or because Quan (and his forefather)'s policies made Thracians so desperate that their king feels like he has to resort to murder to "save" his people?

The issue is more complicated than "he has Noba HB so I had to kill him".

Come FEH and we had, in 2018 (before FE16 but after FE15) this :

My blood has granted me gifts, it's true. I have expended every effort to be worthy of those gifts. That same blood makes it impossible for me to live a peaceful life. That's a lesson I learned from my mother...

Now, even if I was dissecting and hc'ing and posting about Saias a lot for 5 years, I fully understand Saias is a character with maybe 20 lines in FE5, so you can only dissect the script and theorise and read between invisible lines to get something about the character.

But this?

It might be a reference to Cowen's last words who basically tells him his job is to "pass on" his Fjalar HB, and how having major Fjalar HB was the reason why Manfroy tried to kill him when he was younger (his mother Aida died to protect him).

And yet, FEH here seems to imply Aida died because Saias had Fjalar HB, and not, y'know, died because Manfroy wanted to kill him due to this HB.

It wasn't HB who killed Aida, but Manfroy!

FE5 never reveals why - but if Fjalar HB was the reason why Manfroy targeted Saias, then why the fuck wasn't Oldvis iced earlier, since he has the same brand and blood?

In a way, Saias blaming HB here as the "reason" why his mother died and why he cannot live a "peaceful life" is similar to a Leif who would blame Quan'n'Ethlyn for being the reason why Travant and the Empire were after his life : what is to blame, their "blood" that makes people want to kill them, or the fuckers who want to kill them?

Granted those lines from FEH completely miss the point of Saias as a character - FE5!wise Saias is in a class that cannot use fire magic, when his HB automatically gives him the highest rank in fire magic, and he is funnily enough the only character who "retreats" in his death quote -> Saias doesn't "expend" every effort to be worthy of HB, he hides and doesn't use the abilities given by said HB!

We can say, mkay, this was just FEH trying to fit their "gods and their influence BaD" narrative and missing the real culprits, aka humans themselves (Manfroy is one!) - from FE15 - in Jugdral, even if it meant retconning a character no one cares about.

But then, last year, we had Galzus' FB :

You speak of the blood of the Sword Saint Od. Perhaps. Is that the reason you have been set on a path of violence and bloodshed?

Nyx says Galzus' "curse" isn't tied to his HB, but it's basically his regret at not having been able to save his daughter.

So far, it's completely the inverse of what I decried, so this was a good FB, right?

There is no doubt that the blood within you compels you to lead a cruel life. However, the loss of your daughter was the wedge that split your life into pieces and let the curse in.

Damn it Nyx, why???

Why Galzus's brand "compels him" to lead a cruel life - when it was just established that Galzus fell to despair and became a mercenary who kills for money after the loss of his daughter?

Before losing Mareeta, Galzus, at least per this FB, wasn't killing people right and left as the merc he now is (or was in FE5).

Now, much like Saias...

Why was Galzus left to roam around Jugdral with a toddler to begin with?

I had a daughter. When my wife died, I brought my daughter with me as I traveled around Jugdral.

This FB establishes that Galzus settled with Mareeta's biomom for a while, but when she died he "traveled around". Why Galzus couldn't return "home" and had to "travel around"?

You know the Ribaut family was devastated by our own House Isaach.

Timeline wise : Ribaut is already demolished during the prologue of FE4, and Mareeta is no older than Leif himself, which means she was born after Galzus' grandfather and Ayra's brother, aka, his uncle, beheaded his dad and demolished his kingdom. Galzus, in exile, had Mareeta, and then had to "travel around" Jugdral because his home had already been demolished by "House Isaach" -

Note how Ayra talks about the Ribaut (i prefer rivough but meh) family when she talks about her very own sister - Galzus' mother. Jugdral family trees being what they are, Shanan, Larcei, Scatach and Galzus are actually cousins, Galzus is Ayra's own nephew, just like Shanan!

Anyways, in FE4, the reason given behind Ribaut's destruction is their attack on Darna, so the Isaachian royals killed them.

Galzus' "cruel life" wasn't compelled by his HB, Galzus' life took a turn for the worst when his Uncle and Grandpa knocked at his door and slaughtered his entire family, destroying their Kingdom.

So why FEH tried to fit his backstory in some sort of "dragon blood is to blame" Fodlan narrative?? They at least acknowledge the bad blood (lel) between Isaach's royal family and Ribaut's, hell, Ayra even wants to say Mareeta is a part of Isaach's royal family in her FB with her son, so it's not to whitewash the Isaachian royal family because their units are more popular and would sell more...

Contrary to Saias, Galzus's writing and his FB seem to have been made by people who cared and didn't completely ignore what the character was about so... why this emphasis on his HB ??

Are we bound in post FE16 releases to have, at least with the current writing team, the excuse of "dragon blood is to blame" ? Galzus cannot blame the Isaachian Royal Family or even the slavers for his (and his daugher's!) fate, but he can blame his HB, aka, a non-entity?

Will HB be now used as a "responsibility free" card, because the fate a character suffers or their actions are only tied to said HB? Arvis will get a pass because his HB compelled him to save the world (tfw Victor prefered to "seduce" women instead), Lewyn will be lightly chided by his mom instead of receiving the beatdown he has in FE4 because his HB now makes him unable to stay in place? Ditto for Ced, Karin won't chew him out for abandoning his mother and sister because his HB compelled him to travel around, so in the end, dragons are to blame for him abandoning his sister and mother?

That's what I'm the most afraid in future Jugdral remakes, that had humans characters with human flaws in a crapsack/shitty verse, the insertion in a future remake of a very Squenix "but aksuhally gods and church bad" when Jugdral is the pinnacle of "the world sucks because people living in this world suck". No need for secret sects manipulating everything in the shadows like FE16's Agarthans, Chagall is a horrible person without needing Manfroy's help, and Hilda will not say "Holy Blood is to blame" when she tortures Tailte to death.

When Tailte is caught and Hilda'd, it's because she participated (or even commited) in parricide, and because her camp/army lost the battle. She doesn't die because of her HB, she dies because Hilda kills her, most likely, for having killed Reptor (Hilda wants to avenge her "father" when fought, i'm pretty sure she means her father in law aka Reptor!).

As befits a game called "Genealogy of the Holy War", people aren't targeted because of their HB, but they are targeted because they are part of a genealogy - see the Leif comparison earlier on : Leif is hunted because he is Quan's son, even if he doesn't have Noba major blood. Seliph is hunted because he is Siggy'n'Deedee's son, not because of his Baldo HB.

In FE4, Manfroy tells Julius Arvis was a thorn at their side because "Fjalar's ways" ran too strong in him - implying he had some moral fiber that would make him oppose the return of Loptyr (but those same "ways" didn't prevent him from torching his own brother and conquering the world...) - I will have to check the translation and og script, but was Saias targeted because he had Fjalar HB, or because he could develop the same moral fiber Arvis does in his later years, or just, because he is Arvis's son? Cowen seems to suggest it is FB, but we know Fjalar HB cannot harm Loptyr so... what was the true reason?

Blaming dragon-gods reduces the complexity of Jugdral's setting and characters - and in a post FEH world where tropes win character contests and sell a lot of alts if they are flanderised enough + a post FE15/16 world where characters, to be likeable enough, have to ditch their responsibilities or at least have the plot elude them to pin them instead on vague and non-important (gacha wise) gods, what is going to happen to Jugdral?

Fanfics are fanfics and people are free to write whatever they want - but I wonder (especially after Nopes and the plethora of 'golden endings' fics that ended up with the CoS as the big bad lol) if fics where Mareeta and Ced blaming their HB for their various hardships is going to become the new canon...

I seriously hope it will never, and it if happens then...

I guess I'll still yell at cloud and nerd about the 1990s versions of those games, completely ignoring the new releases (save for maybe updated artwork).

Tl;Dr : FEH makes me afraid Judgral remakes will borrow the "humanity fuck yeah" page from FE15 and FE16 and put the blame of Jugdral's shitty situation from Jugdralians to... Holy Blood and "dragon-gods", completely missing and rewritting the point of those games. IS already said "fig" to Kaga once or thrice, but this might become the most contentious "fig" they ever give him if they decided to write a Jugdral remake this way.

#rant #heroes salt #fe series salt #at least the few last games #FE17 is a breath of fresh air #will it become the new standard or will we have more and more shit like those FBs?#jugdral stuff #at this point i'm afraid of that fandom syndrome #where you put much more thoughts and love and care about a setting than its own authors #so when said authors develop it you're disappointed #because you feel like it's a downgrade to what it was before #like star wars maybe?#i'm very worried about the writing of future games especially since the faux issues raised in Fodlan games apparently #made people want more writting as consistent as pudding #as long as has a veneer of being solid and realistic

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rockingrobin69 · 9 months

Text

Winner

Beyond the farmhouse the fields lasted forever, stretching goldeny-crisp in the morning air. The sound of cows in the distance, the gentle gurgle of the stream, but—

“No chicken,” the man in the red cowboy hat said. “Noticed? Not roosters, no clacking, no nothing. Usually at this time there’d be a racket.”

Some clacking: just Malfoy’s boots, with the sharp, pointy edges that Harry couldn’t help but stare at indefinitely. Coming out of the barn, and the gleam of his hair in the morning light made something clench in Harry’s belly, too tight.

“All there,” Malfoy said and came closer. The crease between his eyebrows was familiar: the look of a puzzle. Harry lived for the mystery: Malfoy lived for this. The answers. He was sort of perfect, as a partner, at least.

“See? Just as I said. Chickens all there, roosters all in their place, but nothing. Like someone’s come and zipped their little beaks shut.”

Malfoy jotted something down in his notepad. “You say it began three days ago?”

“At sunrise. Everything suddenly went quiet. Thought, something this weird, I gotta tell my Marge, and then she called you folks.”

“Has anything like this ever happened before?” Harry asked. “We got reports from the neighbouring farms about something they call ‘the alligator’. Ever heard of it?”

Cowboy-hat went still. “Alligator, you say,” with an exaggerated tilt to his frown he definitely didn’t have before, “no, don’t think I have.”

“Hmm,” Malfoy tapped the notepad with his pen. “Well, thank you for your time, Mr. Griffin. If you remember anything else, please let us know.”

He nodded, chewed his bottom lip, opened his mouth, then closed it. Walked away to his truck, to the sound of a tractor in the next field and, still, no chickens.

“He knows something,” Harry said.

“Obviously.” Malfoy was already collecting his things in that little bag he always insisted on carrying. He looked so strange in those boots, in that shirt, so oddly different and blaringly himself and annoyingly, overwhelmingly handsome. It was too early in the morning, and Harry was losing his mind. Malfoy being a condescending arse shouldn’t make him feel like that.

“Obvious? What’s so obvious about this?”

The tip of Malfoy’s mouth tugged upwards. “You mean you didn’t notice the secret hatch in the barn?”

Oh, he forgot how absolutely brilliant Malfoy could be. Fighting his own grin: “Of course I noticed it.”

“And you noticed, I presume, the carving in the chicken coop that is probably the password to unlock it.”

“Naturally.”

“A bit tacky, if you asked me, but then of course I don’t farm chicken, so. ‘Winner winner, chicken dinner’ it is.”

Harry shrugged. “Got a charm to it. So, do we try it right now, or…”

“Potter,” Malfoy laughed, a hand out to stop Harry, already on his way back to the barn, “I was joking. There is no carving. Although I do think there should be a way to crack the hatch open, in the right time. Sunrise or sunset, I reckon. Sorry, I just—you’re too easy.”

The problem was that Harry really was. Too easy for him, too charmed and too out of it in the heat of Texan summer, too early in the morning. “You’re an arse.”

“Astute observation, Special Agent Potter. Now, we have some hours to kill before out next chance at the spells. How about we take a drive to the river, see if we can dig up anything more about that ‘alligator’ from the fishermen?”

“Sure thing, Dr. Malfoy. If you wear the hat again.”

He frowned. “It really doesn’t match the shape of my face.”

“There’s nothing wrong with your face,” Harry growled, somehow not for the first time since joining the Hex-files. “Come on, let’s go. The river’s not a bad idea, but you still owe me breakfast.”

“Anything for you, Potter.” With that tiny almost-smile that drove Harry mad.

“I’m just saying,” Harry started, arms waving—

“Say it, then, don’t spray it!” Malfoy dabbed his face with a napkin. The movement so gentle, so prim, it dragged a reluctant smile out of Harry; made for something inside him go warm. Distracting. “Honestly, Potter. Don’t pout. One must insist on at least some table manners.”

Harry flipped him off with a chip. “All I’m saying is, it’s connected. The fish disappearing, the alligator, the chicken going silent—there’s something that connects them all.”

“The chicken curse,” Malfoy said with a delicately-arched eyebrow.

“Something of the sort.”

“You don’t truly believe it, do you?” without the mocking Harry still half-expected. “The chicken conspiracy those farmers were talking about.”

Harry took his time with the plastic cup of soda. Let the last couple of days untangle in his head, collected the bits and pieces of information. “I think I might,” he said carefully. Malfoy nodded, and laid down a couple of napkins on the table.

“All right. Show me.”

He’d do that sometimes: when Harry built theories upon theories in his head, make him stop and lay it out. Then say something that would shake Harry’s world to the core, like you’re a bloody genius, Potter or it’s amazing how you can do that, all delivered in a neutral, level tone.

So Harry pulled out his wand and threw a covert Notice-Me-Not. Drew it all out: from the fish in the river to the wheat in the fields to the ever elusive ‘alligator’ whom, he suspected, wasn’t so much a wild animal at all. Malfoy took it in with his calculating look, and tipped his head slightly in the way that meant he was interested.

“All right,” when Harry was finished, “if alligator is code, what do you think it stands for?”

“I’m not sure yet,” he confessed, heart hammering in his chest. This was the moment when his old partner would laugh at him, or his boss start shouting, or his friends would roll their eyes.

Malfoy said: “Okay. Where do you want to start?”

And Harry thought, I love you. Swallowed it, distilled into something he could use, the way he’s been doing for weeks now, for months.

“I think we should go back to Mr. Griffin. Got this feeling we’ll find what we need there.”

“Your feelings are usually right,” Malfoy shrugged, and got up. “Shall we? Sunset’s in about twenty minutes. Give it another try.”

I love you, Harry thought again, nonsensically.

It turned out the hatch opened to a wardrobe, and in it were—

“Alligator costumes,” Malfoy, with his eyebrow, with his eyes only slightly round in surprise. “Part Animagi, I assume?”

Mr. Griffin shrugged. “How did you know it was me?”

“Special Agent Potter figured out your schedule had to do with the fish disappearing.”

“I didn’t mean to scare the chickens,” Mr. Griffin said sadly. “Do you think they’ll ever forgive me?”

“Probably,” Malfoy again, more gently than Harry thought he was capable. “Let’s go inside and think of a way to reverse this. Suppose no one was actually hurt. No harm, no fowl.”

Harry grabbed his wrist to stop him. “Malfoy,” a little choked with it, “want to have food tonight? With me. I mean, a meal. I mean, a date. I mean—”

“Yes,” Malfoy’s lip did that thing, this almost-smile that was the dearest thing in Harry’s heart. “Yes, Potter, I’ll go on a date with you.” After a moment: “But I’m not wearing the hat.”

“I think you look very charming in it.”

The tiniest of blushes. “Wherever you take me, they’d better not serve chicken.”

I love you, Harry thought. Grinned with his whole face, and raced Malfoy back to the ranch, where Mr. Griffin was going to undo the curse.

Another mystery solved. And something bigger, too, he thought: something much brighter.

For my dear @short666bread who gave me the coolest prompt from this list. Hey, you could do it too!

#drarry fic #the hex-files #special agent Harry fox Potter #dr Draco Dana Malfoy #do you know. the temptation to string 'fox in the hen house' somewhere in there #one day when i write a 10k of this.#1.3k #texas and fast food and sort of serious date #rockingrobin69 #Harry faux Potter? Draco dunna Scully?

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