#feel free to build off of this or contribute ideas

[kitten4sannie]

ᴘᴜᴘᴘʏʙᴏʏꜱ4ʏᴏᴜ.ᴄᴏᴍ

ᴘᴇᴛ ᴘʟᴀʏ/ᴘʀᴀɪꜱᴇ ➠ ʏᴜɴʜᴏ

pairing: camboy! yunho x fangirl! reader (fem)

genre: camming au, fluff (lowkeyy), humor, smut

summary: dedicating your hard earned money and free time to your favorite camboy goodboy_99 comes with a lot of perks.

w.c: 3.9k

warnings: switch! yunho, switch sub leaning! reader, there’s some sub 4 sub vibes in this, monster cock yunho, yunnie’s got piercings, exhibitionism/voyeurism, masturbation, edging, use of a cock ring/golden retriever butt plug >:3), teasing, pet names (baby, kitty, kitten, etc), reader calls yunho puppy/pup and he loves that shit, dirty talk, lots of praise, some degradation, kissing, toy usage, nipple play (f/m), squirting, breeding kink, rough unprotected sex, cumming in mouth, snowballing, these losers lowkey fall in love <3

a/n: shoutout to felix @yourfatherlucifer for allowing me to build on your camboy yunho fic idea :3 you're such a genius for that concept <3 so yeah there’s not enough whimpering baby boys with monster cocks in fics i swearrr (if you know of any pls send them my way ><) so i decided to offer my contribution,, more like cumtribution am i right?? *crickets* anygays i had way too much fun with this one skjdhf you'll see what i mean >3< i hope you enjoy ~~

Now Playing:

ᴄʏʙᴇʀꜱᴇx ʙʏ ᴅᴏᴊᴀ ᴄᴀᴛ

0:01 ❍─────── 4:28

Volume: ▁▂▃▄▅▆▇ 100%

ᴘʀᴇᴠ | ꜰꜰꜰ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ | ɴᴇxᴛ

You've never missed a single stream from your favorite camboy goodboy_99, always willing to pull up his stream after a long day at work no matter how tired you were, never opposed to cranking one out in his honor. You sent him a countless amount of coins throughout your obsession, picking out new options from his personal menu, never tired of seeing him act them out with a cute little smirk on his face and your username gracing his pretty pierced lips. 

At first, you were a silent viewer, just concerned with getting yourself off, but then somewhere along the line, you began to leave lots of comments in the live chat, though they were more akin to sexts, and for some odd reason, Yunho paid more attention to yours, instead of the numerous other ones. Maybe it was because you were his number one fan, or perhaps, just perhaps, it was because he was into you too, but you assumed that was just your delulu mind at play. 

Regardless, here you were, sitting with your legs spread in your computer chair, a vibrator on your clit, and your eyes glued on the bright screen that was showcasing your beloved camboy in a similar position: his thighs spread open in his gaming chair, his pretty flushed face contorted in pleasure, fucking himself dumb with a purple pocket pussy, the base of his thick cock constricted with an even thicker cock ring. 

“Aaah, haaah…W-who made me put on this cock ring, huh? It won’t let me cum, guys, c’monnn, lemme cum,” Yunho whined out, a few beads of sweat dripping past his dyed black and red bangs down to the leather dog collar around his neck, giving his webcam a small pout, begging his viewers with his big brown eyes. 

➵ ᴀɴᴏɴ: ʜᴇ'ꜱ ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴏᴜɴᴅ ꜱᴏ ᴡʜɪɴʏ ᴏᴍɢ

➵ ʜɪᴍʙᴏ4ʏᴏᴜ: ʟᴏᴏᴋ ʜᴇ'ꜱ ᴅʀᴏᴏʟɪɴɢ. ᴍᴜꜱᴛ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ꜰᴜᴄᴋ

You brought one hand to your keyboard, pressing the rounded side of the large vibrator directly into your clit with the other, making you shudder and jolt, your fingers rapidly pressing into the keys. You’ve been in this exact position so many times before, you knew you couldn’t possibly cum until you saw Yunho fall apart in front of your straining eyes. 

➵ ᴜʀꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇᴋɪᴛᴛʏ: ᴅᴏ ᴜ ᴡɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴀᴋ3 ᴜʀ ᴄᴏᴄᴋ ʀɪɴɢ ᴏꜰꜰ ɴ0ᴡ ʙᴀʙʏ ʙᴏʏ?

Yunho giggled softly at your typos, running a hand through his sweaty hair, causing it to fall back down onto his forehead, spreading his thighs just a little wider. “Yes, fuck, I’m going to cum all over myself for you, baby.” He pressed his fingers into his aching balls, feeling how sensitive they were, before he slowly slid the cock ring up and off of his leaking cock. “I’ve been edging myself for so longgg, god, it's gonna feel so good.”

➵ ᴘᴜᴘᴘʏʟᴜᴠʀ: ɢᴜʏꜱ ʜɪꜱ ᴄᴏᴄᴋ'ꜱ ꜱᴏ ʀᴇᴅ ʀɴ ʜᴇ'ꜱ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ʀᴇᴄᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴜᴍꜱʜᴏᴛ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴜꜱ

➵ ᴀɴᴏɴ: ꜰʀ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ʜɪᴍ ʟᴇᴀᴋɪɴɢ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ꜰᴜᴄᴋ,, ʜᴇ'ʟʟ ɢᴇᴛ ᴄᴜᴍ ᴏɴ ʜɪꜱ ᴄᴇɪʟɪɴɢ ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪɴ ᴅᴇᴠɪʟᴍᴀɴ ᴄʀʏʙᴀʙʏ

Yunho arched his back off of the chair, holding the vibrator near the base of his cock, the vibrations sending endless waves of arousal through his jolting body, the silver chain links hanging from his collar rattling against his drool-stained chest, soft, staccato moans echoing from his drooling mouth, on the edge of ecstasy, but not quite getting there. “Fuck, m’ so close, so close, so close…”

About to catapult into ecstasy yourself, you found it in you to help Yunho reach his much-needed orgasm, rapidly clicking a few options on the webpage. It was the least you could do after watching him edge himself in various ways for your own entertainment. 

Yunho heard a familiar jingling tone emanate from his computer’s speakers, preventing his eyes from fully rolling back into his skull, instead bringing his attention to his bright monitor, his cock beginning to pulse, a few more beads of pre-cum spilling down the shiny, bright red tip. 

➵ ᴜʀꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇᴋɪᴛᴛʏ ʜᴀꜱ ꜱᴇɴᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ¹⁰⁰⁰ ᴄᴏɪɴꜱ

➵ ᴜʀꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇᴋɪᴛᴛʏ: ᴘʟꜱ ᴄᴜᴍ 4 ᴍ3 ᴘᴜᴘᴘʏ 

Yunho received a hefty dono from his favorite viewer, got a cute request from them, and got called puppy all at the same time? It was simply too much for a baby boy like him to handle, especially after being teased and edged by his dear audience for so long. “Cumminggg, oh my god, m’ cumming so hard,” Yunho moaned out, dropping the vibrator from his cock, just letting it hang at his side, his thighs jolting each time his veiny cock twitched up into his heaving abdomen. “F-uuuck…” Long spurts of milky liquid splattered onto his straining abs, some shooting across one of his pierced nipples, some of it even gracing his pretty, glistening parted lips. Yunho didn’t even realize he managed to cum inside his own mouth until he tasted the bitterness on his tongue when he swallowed his drool down. “Holy fuck, you guys, I just swallowed my own cum…I should’ve just aimed for my mouth the whole time…Mm, remind me next stream.” 

➵ ᴀɴᴏɴ: ɪ’ᴍ ɪɴꜱᴀɴᴇ

➵ ꜰᴀɴʙᴏʏ4ᴛᴇᴇᴢ: ᴄᴀʟʟ ʜɪᴍ ᴘɪᴄᴀꜱꜱᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʜᴇ ᴘᴀɪɴᴛᴇᴅ ʜɪᴍꜱᴇʟꜰ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴜᴍ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴜᴄᴋᴋᴋᴋᴋ

The visual and physical stimulation you were providing yourself proved to be almost lethal, dropping your now silent vibrator onto the carpet below, hunched over in your chair, resting the side of your sweaty cheek on your cat paw mouse pad, your twitching, tingling fingers gently pressing into your keyboard. “He looks so pretty…” you whispered to yourself, hearts forming inside your glistening eyes.

➵ ᴜʀꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇᴋɪᴛᴛʏ: ʟᴜᴠ ᴡᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴜ ᴄᴠᴍ ʏᴜɴɴɪ3 ,, ᴜʀ ꜱ0 ᴄᴜᴛᴇᴇᴇᴇ

Yunho slid his long, slender fingers through the puddles of cum splayed across his chest, bringing them up to his lips, sucking it off of them, his hooded eyes accompanying his curled lips, looking like a mischievous puppy. “If you love seeing me cum so much, Kitty, then you should see it in real life, doncha’ think?”

“Huh?” you reacted, suddenly sitting up straight, your eyes and mouth wide open, wondering if you had nutted so hard, you were having auditory hallucinations. 

While licking the remaining saltiness from his lips, Yunho’s smirk grew wider. “You heard me. Since you’re my biggest supporter, I thought I’d fly you out to join me in a stream. Whaddaya think?” He just sat there, looking smug as hell, confident in himself and his decisions, his heart pounding away inside his chest. 

As you sat there in disbelief, factory resetting in silence, Yunho turned his attention to the rapidly moving live chat, giggling a bit. “That's a pretty hot idea, huh, guys? Wanna watch us fuck each other stupid?”

➵ ᴀɴᴏɴ: ɪᴍ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ʙᴜꜱᴛ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴛʜɪɴᴋɪɴ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ɪᴛ ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ɪᴛ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴ

➵ ᴘᴜᴘᴘʏʙᴏʏꜱʀᴜɪɴᴇᴅᴍʏʟɪꜰᴇ: ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴡɪʟʟ ɪᴛ ʙᴇ ᴍʏ ᴛᴜʀɴ ᴛᴛ

➵ ᴀɴᴏɴ: ᴋɪᴛᴛʏ ɪ'ʟʟ ᴘᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴜɢ ᴏɴ ʜɪꜱ ᴄᴏʟʟᴀʀ ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ

The rest of the chat had an overwhelmingly positive response, further egging on Yunho’s insane idea and your urge to pack up your bags right then and there. You still weren’t sure if you had fallen into a coma or if this was your reality, but regardless, you hit enter on your poor keyboard. 

➵ ᴜʀꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇᴋɪᴛᴛʏ: ᴜ ʙᴛʀ ɢᴇᴛ ʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ᴘᴜᴘᴘʏ 

➵ ᴜʀꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇᴋɪᴛᴛʏ: ɪᴍ ᴄᴏᴍɪɴɢ 4 ᴜ ♡

You landed a critical hit on Yunho’s heart when your highlighted comments popped up on his screen, causing him to cover his face and spin around in his chair, tiny giggles escaping his throat. He peeked at his webcam through his fingers, whining, “Hurry up, Kitty, I'm waiting!”

࿏࿏࿏

Taking a flight over to him wasn’t too difficult, but what was incredibly difficult was standing with your luggage outside of Yunho’s apartment in an outfit you took hours deliberating over, left to your own devices, which meant that your brain would go over all the reasons why he would send you home as soon as he opened the door. 

Before you could get even more sweaty just from standing there, the door swung open. Yunho’s face suddenly froze, his eyes growing wide, resembling marbles and beginning to sparkle. He just stood there staring at you, taking in all of you, wanting to etch it into his memory. 

“H-hi, Yunnie, I’m Kitty, well, Y/N, heh,” you squeaked out, dropping your bag on the ground to give him a shy wave, your lips quirking up into a nervous smile. “Y-you look even cuter in person.” 

“You’re the cute one here, silly.” Yunho giggled softly, immediately stepping past his doorframe to pull you into a hug, burying you in his oversized dual-colored sweater. “I’m so happy I can finally meet you, Y/N,” he whispered near your ear, rubbing your lower back with his large hand. “We’re gonna have so much fun together…” 

Once he pulled away, you almost melted into the floor, your knees feeling a bit weak, still able to give him a big, goofy smile. “So much fun,” you echoed, your flushed face matching Yunho’s bright red ears. 

࿏࿏࿏

After spending a bit more time together just hanging out around Yunho’s apartment and taking time to talk about whatever, including a discussion about your sexual experiences and limits, your walls seemed to drop all together, realizing he was just as chill, and just as perverted, in real life as he was during his streams. Your heart still raced over the smallest things, but that was for a different reason. Your body was practically vibrating as well, but that also had a different cause, a far more explainable one. 

“So,” Yunho began, gently running his thumbs over your knuckles, licking at the piercing on the side of his bottom lip. “Should we go live now?” He squeezed your hand slightly, leaning in to drown you with his intense gaze. “Are you in the mood to play, baby?” 

You couldn’t possibly tell him that you were essentially the human embodiment of Niagara Falls, having to squeeze your thighs together as much as you could to keep your arousal from dripping down your inner thighs past your short skirt. “I really wanna play with you, Yunnie,” you replied, gently placing your hand on his knee, your fingers moving past his ripped jeans to make contact with his warm skin. 

“Then, let’s play, Kitty.” Blushing and returning your sweet smile, Yunho reached up to caress your cheek lovingly, before standing up to turn his webcam on and start up a new stream. 

Yunho sat down in his spacious chair, making sure his pretty guest of honor stood in front of him for the time being as his faithful viewers showed up in the chat in large waves, eventually holding his hands out near you like he was presenting a prize. “Here she is, everyone!” He gave the webcam a playful smile past your shoulder, coaxing you to sit comfortably inside his large lap, his hand going up to pet your head, which you nuzzled into, the small bell collar he put on you earlier jingling a bit. “My Kitty finally arrived for playtime.” 

➵ ᴀɴᴏɴ: ᴛᴡᴏ ʜᴏᴛ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ɪɴ ᴏɴᴇ ʀᴏᴏᴍ ??? ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅᴏ???

➵ ᴘᴜᴘᴘʏɢʀʟ: ɪꜰ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ꜰᴜᴄᴋ ᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇxᴛ ꜰɪᴠᴇ ꜱᴇᴄᴏɴᴅꜱ ɪ’ᴍ ꜱᴜɪɴɢ

“Now, c’mon Kitty, show everyone how excited you are to be here,” Yunho purred near your ear, reaching around you to grab your thighs, gently pulling them open as you spread them fully out yourself. 

With your thighs trembling, you revealed the bright pink vibrator you’ve had lodged inside you for the past hour, your cunt already so slicked up with arousal that the toy threatened to slip out of you if you didn’t keep clenching around it. “So full…” 

“Do you see, everyone? See how good I treat my guests?” Yunho asked his audience, making a downwards V over the top of your cunt, rubbing his fingers along your folds, making sure to stimulate your clit at the same time. “I watched her shove this toy up her cute little pussy earlier…She’s been walking around my apartment with it inside ever since like a good little slut.” 

➵ ᴅᴏɴᴛʟᴏᴏᴋᴀᴛᴍᴇ: ᴛʜᴀᴛ’ꜱ ɪᴛ ɪ’ᴍ ꜱʟᴇᴇᴘɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʜɪɢʜᴡᴀʏ ᴛᴏɴɪɢʜᴛ

➵ ᴀɴᴏɴ: ʜᴇ’ꜱ ᴘʀᴇᴘᴘɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴏɴꜱᴛᴇʀ ᴄᴀᴡᴋ ᴏꜰ ʜɪꜱ ᴍᴍᴍᴍ

Moaning at the feeling of Yunho pulling the toy out and slipping it back inside your hole, you leaned your head back into his chest, his stiff cock pressing into your ass, your hands moving back to play with his hair. “Wanna touch you too, puppy…” 

“I know you do, Kitty. You’ll get to put your hands all over me in a second, I promise.” Yunho nuzzled your cheek, giving it a gentle lick that made you shiver, pulling the toy out agonizingly slow, inch by inch, drawing a long moan from your lips. He slipped both of his arms around you, bringing his hands down to spread you open with his thumbs, your clenching cunt on display for every single one of his viewers to drool over. “Look at this pretty kitty’s hole, everyone. So pink, so wet, so ready to use, huh?” 

His follower and viewer count hit a sudden spike, making the both of you giggle to each other. Yunho then lifted one of your thighs up onto the chair, spreading his own thighs open a bit just in time for a golden retriever tail to become visible fo his viewers, his ass comfortably filled with one of his favorite plugs. “Kitty watched me put this in after she filled herself up. It slipped in so easily too, and my sweetheart got so wet, but I told her she couldn’t cum until you guys got to see. Aren’t I the best, guys?” His chat sped up a little faster, the majority of people talking in all caps, making Yunho chuckle.

➵ ᴀɴᴏɴ: ɢᴜʏꜱ ɪ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴅᴏ ɪ ᴅᴏ 

➵ ᴅᴏɢʙᴏʏ: ʜᴇ’ꜱ ᴇᴅɢɪɴɢ ᴜꜱ ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴛᴏᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ

When you whimpered and nudged him for his attention, Yunho nodded knowingly with his cheek against yours, nuzzling it. “Oh, I know, baby. You’ve been so good letting that toy fill you up for so long, but you need more. Is that right? You need puppy’s cock in your breeding hole, don’t you?” he teased you in a low, pouty voice, rubbing your wetness around your clit with one hand, using his other hand to push the vibrator in and out of your clenching cunt, going faster and faster until you began to cry out.

“Yes, puppy, please, I can’t take it…!” you voiced desperately, jolting against Yunho’s body, about to scream when he pressed the rounded end of the vibrator to turn it up even higher, your thighs beginning to shake. “Oh my god, i’m gonna…”

“Cum for me, Kitty, cum for everyone….” Yunho squeezed your clit roughly, simultaneously jamming the vibrator into you at such a velocity that you screamed, your arousal starting to pour out of you, the clear liquid getting onto Yunho’s thighs and the chair below. Yunho groaned at the sight, using his hand to rub your juices around just to hear how wet it was, moaning, “Oh, fuckkkk, look at that, Kitty’s making such a mess for us.” He brought his dripping fingers to his drooling mouth, eagerly sucking your cum off of them. “Did that feel good, kitten?”

“So good…” Feeling Yunho’s rock-hard cock throbbing against your lower back, you squirmed around against him, turning your head to look at him, still panting softly from your ear ringing orgasm. “Wanna make you feel good too, pup, with my breeding hole…”

“Oh, yeah?” Yunho nosed your neck, licking a stripe up your neck past your collar to make you shiver, looking you straight in the eye afterward. “Wanna squeeze around me, baby? Feel how big I am inside your tiny little cunt?”

You reached up to caress his hair, gently tugging on it, your eyes full of desperation for your favorite streamer. “Please. Want you to stuff me with your cock. Wanna make you cum from how tight I am for you.”

Yunho unknowingly began to rut against you, leaving streaks of pre-cum on the small of your back. “That’s my slutty little kitty…so eager to be filled by her puppy…” He reached back around you to spread your hole open once again for the camera, looking at his webcam with hazy, hooded eyes. “What do you think, chat? Should I fuck this kitty full of my pups?”

➵ ᴀɴᴏɴ: ᴅᴏ ɪᴛ ᴅᴏ ɪᴛ ɴᴏᴡᴡᴡᴡᴡᴡ

➵ ᴀɴᴏɴ: ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴏꜰ ꜰᴜᴄᴋ ɢᴇᴛ ɪɴꜱɪᴅᴇ ʜᴇʀ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ᴍʏ ᴅɪᴄᴋ ᴇxᴘʟᴏᴅᴇꜱ

Unable to take Yunho’s teasing anymore, you quickly stood up, wobbling slightly, before you sat back in his lap, this time facing him, the both of you struggling with his joggers to pull his cock out, already grinding yourself along it when it was finally free, the slippery ridge of his silicone cock ring supplying you extra pleasure. “Need you, Yunnie,” you whimpered, pulling at his collar to bring his parted lips onto yours, your tongues joining in the middle. 

Yunho moaned into your mouth, swiveling the chair to the side so that his viewers could still get a good look at your shared desperation, his cock starting to throb steadily against your slick cunt when you began to suck on his tongue — though the whining and whimpering noises Yunho was known for didn’t start until you began to rub and flick at his pierced, hardened nipples from underneath his sweater, his hands diving underneath your own sweater to grope and pull at your tits, eventually moving to your ass to squeeze it, your hips lifting up slightly so that he could tease your entrance with his leaking cockhead. 

You moved your hips back slightly so that you could reach down, grabbing at the base of his tail and moving it around experimentally until Yunho began to gasp for air, figuring you were rubbing against his prostate. “Does that feel good, puppy? Am I hitting the right spot?”

“S-so good, makes me wanna fuck you, kittennn, wanna fuck you dumb on my cock. Can I, please?” Yunho suddenly begged you, fucking himself back on the plug that you continued to maneuver around inside him, not hesitating to give you the most adorable, lust-drunk pouty face you’ve ever witnessed in your life. 

“Yes, puppy, please, please, please fuck me,” you answered just as desperately, ruffling his soft, slightly damp hair, letting go of his tail to wrap your arms around his neck.

Yunho quickly swiveled the chair back to its original position so that your ass and throbbing cunt was on full display from behind, using two fingers to spread your open for him, slowly guiding his thick cock inside you inch by inch, until he completely bottomed out, resulting in a blissful sigh from the both of you. “Look at you, kitten, so fucking full of my cock. I’m gonna fuck your brains out,” he groaned, his large hands encasing your hips, immediately jack hammering himself into you like he was using a fleshlight, your joined bodies creating a lewd symphony of slick sounds.  

Yunho rammed himself into you so roughly, you couldn’t do anything else except take it, bouncing on his monstrous cock over and over again, the tip of it repeatedly forming a bulge inside your stomach that only Yunho could see, throbbing inside you from the sight of it. “So good, it’s so good, Yunnie, love your cock…!” 

“Love your wet cunt, Kitty, love how tiny you are, like you’re gonna break just from getting pounded into by my puppy cock,” he moaned back, gripping your ass so hard, your flesh squished through his strong fingers, still driving you down onto his cock like you were made for him, for his pleasure. “Makes me wanna stuff you full of my litter….”

“A-aaah, but puppy likes being edged with his cock ring, doesn’t he? It feels so much better like this, yeah?” you huffed out, reaching behind you to squeeze one of his intensely swollen balls, receiving a high-pitched, pleasured moan from your playmate.

“Feels so fucking good, Kitty,” Yunho agreed, mindlessly kicking the speed of his thrust game into hyper-drive, mindlessly fucking himself into you so roughly, so sloppily, his cock almost slipped out a few times, requiring him to hold you down by your hips. “Your pussy’s clenching so hard around me, baby, it’s so tight for me…Feels like you’re gonna cum…”

“Yeah, gonna cum, puppy, feels too–aaah-good…!” 

Yunho locked his arms around your waist, his hips never faltering, his veiny length rubbing along your inner walls in just the right way, making you cry out. He pressed his lips onto your ear, slipping his hand in between your sweaty bodies to rapidly rub your stiff clit, purring, “Good girl, cum for me, kitten. That’s right, baby, squirt on my cock…” 

When you came, you came hard, your arousal leaking out around his slippery cock, your body jolting as each wave of pleasure coursed through you, resting your head on his shoulder, his sweater slipping down it. Once you recovered, Yunho pressed his lips against yours, whispering words of praise, among other things that his audience couldn't hear until you slowly lifted yourself off of him. 

“I think it’s time to make our good puppy cum, don’t you think, guys?” you asked his webcam, walking around Yunho’s chair to stand behind it, running your hands down his body, reaching for his twitching cock, slipping your closed fist up and down it until you made Yunho whimper pathetically, tears forming inside his eyes, causing the already rapidly moving chat to go completely ape-shit. 

➵ ᴡʏɴɢ: ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴇᴅɢᴇ ʜɪᴍ ᴍᴏʀᴇ, ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ʜɪᴍ ᴄʀʏ

➵ ꜱɴ: ɴᴏᴏᴏ ʟᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴏᴏʀ ʙᴀʙʏ ᴄᴜᴍ ᴀʟʟ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ʜɪᴍꜱᴇʟꜰ ʜᴇ ᴅᴇꜱᴇʀᴠᴇꜱ ɪᴛ :(

You continued to pump his reddened, leaking cock, replicating his incredibly needy facial expression, pouty lips and all, murmuring, “Awww, poor puppy wants to cum so bad, huh?” 

Yunho bucked his hips up into your hand, trying to fuck himself into your closed fist, his abs and muscles straining from his desperation, his ass clenching around his favorite plug, more drool beginning to leave his lips and dribble down his neck to his dog collar. “Please, let puppy cum, wanna cum inside my mouth like a dirty boy,” he babbled out, tears overtaking his vision once the pain of edging himself for so long began to overtake the pleasure on his almost orgasm. 

“Mm, then be good and cum, puppy,” you replied sweetly, suddenly slipping the pre-cum drenched cock ring off of Yunho and bringing it up to his mouth, watching him lap up the clear liquid off of it without you even having to ask. “Such a naughty boy, so good for us, aren’t you?”

“So good, Kitty, m’ so good,” Yunho echoed, running his hands up and down your forearms for his own comfort, practically panting like an actual dog would, his bangs plastered to his forehead with sweat. “Gonna cum so hard…” 

“Cum so hard for us, Yunnie, come on, that’s it….” Leaning yourself over his shoulder, you used both hands to milk his long, heavy cock, driving loud, whiny moans out of him, along with spurt after spurt of milky cum, watching the way he caught the stream of it on his lolled-out tongue. Yunho tilted his head back, looking up at you with teary, glazed-over eyes, making a small noise, clearly wanting to share himself with you. 

Without hesitation, you pulled him by the collar, pressing your mouth onto his, his tongue slipping inside it almost instantly, lazily swapping his hot cum and saliva with you, the both of you swallowing the combination down with ease afterwards, your hands caressing one another’s sweaty faces. After a shared gaze of affection, Yunho pressed a kiss onto your nose, making you blush harder than you had the whole night. 

When the post-nut clarity hit him, Yunho sat up a bit in his chair, giving his webcam a variety of hearts using his hands. “Thank you all for tuning in for this special stream, everyone! Love you!” 

➵ ᴀɴᴏɴ: ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ꜱᴀᴡ ɢᴏᴅ

➵ ᴘᴜᴘ: ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴀʟᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ ᴛʜᴇʀᴀᴘɪꜱᴛ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴏɴᴇ

➵ ᴡʏ: ʙᴇᴀᴛ ᴍʏ ᴍᴇᴀᴛ ꜱᴏ ʜᴀʀᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ᴄᴀʟʟ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴜᴛᴄʜᴇʀ

➵ ꜱɴ: ɢʀᴇᴀᴛ ꜱᴛʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴀꜱ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ʏᴜɴʜᴏ ♡

As soon as Yunho turned his webcam off, he brought you into a tight, comforting hug, nuzzling the side of your head with his own. “You did so good, Y/N…That was amazing, this is amazing…” 

You hugged him back just as tight, your heart fluttering, wondering if it was all just physical between the two of you or if there was something else blossoming behind the lens of the webcam. “I think so too, Yunnie…I just…” You began to pull back, causing Yunho’s happy expression to drop a bit. 

“What’s wrong, Y/N? You didn’t have fun?” he murmured, his bottom lip jutting out slightly. 

“No, it’s not that! I had tons of fun, Yunnie, the most fun I’ve had in a long time…” you reassured him, ruffling his damp dyed hair as gently as possible, smiling at him with your eyes. “I just don’t want to overstay my welcome, you know? So I should probably–”

“No, no, noooo,” Yunho repeated whinily, pulling you back into his arms, nuzzling your neck this time, enveloping you in his comforting scent and warmth. He eventually pulled back, just enough to rest his forehead onto yours, gazing at you, as if he was letting you take a peek at his beating heart through his eyes.  “Stay…?” 

You swallowed harshly to keep your heart from bubbling up into your throat, warmth searing into your cheeks, murmuring, “Are you sure?” 

Yunho bit at his bottom lip, lowering his head slightly so you didn’t have to see just how red he had become, though his bright red ears betrayed him. He eventually looked back into your eyes, swallowing down his nerves. “Y/N, what if…what if told you I was your number one fan too? What would you say then?” 

With your heart hammering away inside your chest, you pulled yourself together just enough to softly press your lips against his. You smiled up at him afterwards, caressing his cheek, your eyes twinkling with adoration for your favorite puppy boy. “Does that answer your question? Or do you need another?”

Yunho pouted cutely, just about ready to melt inside your arms. “Another.”

fff: @itza-meee @chnt1 @k-hotchoisan @wonyobie @vampiregirl215 @yuyusbunny @christmastodoroki @luvt0kki @pieyoon @goldnhwa @choisanboobenthusiast @icyb3rry @maximofftrash @choism @yunhosmelonbar @nebulousbookshelf @astayinwonderland @slutologyy @10nantscompanion @ddaeing @pandagirl-016 @Randomgirl11-posts @staytiny816 @horanghae8 @smally97 @ateezzzser @crispybaguettes @bubblegumbird @midnightmaja @i2nsstuff @asimpelslut @svt-dinosaurus @wisejudgedragonhairdo @deathbyyeekies @firefox79 @wildesreblogs @everyonewooeverywhere @raspberrysannie @Whatintheninerealms @hyunjinsbby @Hyphenen @channiespup @abby-grace @seonghwaddict @mxnsxngie

Apply for the taglist here ⇢ ♡

© kitten4sannie, 2024.

[bioethicists]

Come Chat about Psych Abolition + Harm Reduction!

Over the past several weeks, I've hosted 5 Zooms where we chatted about psych abolition + its futures + the work we want to see in the world. It was a deeply healing experience for me + I appreciated hearing from all of you so much more than you could even know. As I discussed, I am hoping to host a second set of these Zooms, this time 6 in sequence, focused on harm reduction + psych abolition. Harm reduction is both my vocation + my passion in life + I'm really excited to share about it with you all.

As some people requested, the format this time will be a little different- I will open each session with a brief (~15 min) presentation from either myself or one of my comrades discussing the topic + explaining crucial works in a way that is accessible to someone with no prior knowledge of harm reduction. After that, we will chat similarly to the format of the first set of meetings, bouncing ideas off one another + sharing what resonates with us + what doesn't.

A reminder to anyone who wants to attend that under no circumstances may anyone contact the authorities as a result of anything spoken about during the Zoom. Free discussion of self-injury + suicidality + substance use are expected without fear of being “crisis” intervened upon. That being said, the goal of these chats is not necessarily to be a support group but more to talk about psychiatric abolition, build community, + increase knowledge.

I will be doing 3 weekday evening sessions + 3 midday Saturday sessions (apologies to those who observe Shabbat! My Sundays became a bit haywire), hoping to accommodate people with different work schedules + time zones. They will be via Zoom. Each topic will repeat 2x, but I still encourage people to attend both if they want to chat more about it! 'Lurking' (aka camera off, no speaking) is encouraged! Any way that you want to show up is okay- we regularly have people attend who do not engage at all, or only engage in the chat. Chat messages are read aloud by me to ensure that chat participants feel equally included in the group.

Also, I am looking for people who have resources that may be helpful for these, as well as people who might be interested in speaking about their experiences with these topics. Unfortunately this is all just done by me, in my office, so I don't have compensation to offer, but anyone who wants to contribute in any capacity is encouraged to reach out <3 Elliott @trans-axolotl will be giving the presentation portion for Harm Reduction (Self-Injury + Suicidality).

Also, if you would like to join the Madness + Liberation forum where we discuss psychiatric abolition at greater length, please feel free to fill out my Google Form here.

Those of you who need a dial-in number, please message me on Tumblr or send an anon + I will provide it.

Resource Masterlist

Summary of the first set of sessions, Substance Use

Summary of the second set of sessions, Disorderly Eating

UPDATED!Harm Reduction (Self-Injury + Suicidality): Monday September 23rd @ 9pm EST | 1am UTC

UPDATED!Harm Reduction (Self-Injury + Suicidality): Saturday September 28th @ 12pm EST | 4pm UTC

(image by asako narahashi, 2003)

[dailyadventureprompts]

Dm Tip: Playing the Villain/ Guidelines for "Evil" Campaigns

I've never liked the idea of running an evil game, despite how often I've had people in my inbox asking how I'd go about it. I'm all about that zero-to-hero heroic fantasy not only because I'm a goodie twoshoes IRL but because the narrative-gameplay premise that d&d is built around falls apart if the party is a bunch of killhappy murder hobos. Not only would I get bored narrating such a game and indulging the sort of players who demands the freedom to kill and torture at will (I've had those before and they don't get invited back to my table), but the whole conceit of a party falls through when the obviously villainous player characters face their first real decision point and attempt to kill eachother because cooperation is a thing that goodguys do.

Then I realized I was going about it all wrong.

The problem was I had started out playing d&d with assholes, those "murder and torture" clowns who wanted to play grand-theft-auto in the worlds I'd created and ignore the story in favour of seeing how much unchallenged chaos they could create. They set my expectations for what an evil campaign was, and I spent the rest of my time developing as a dungeonmaster thinking " I Don't want any part of that"

But what would an evil campaign look like for my playgroup of emotionally healthy friends who understand character nuance? What would I need to change about the fundamental conceit of d&d adventures to refocus the game on the badguys while still following a similar enough narrative-gameplay premise to a hero game? How do we make that sort of game relatable? What sort of power/play fantasy can we indulge in without going off the deepend?

TLDR: In an evil campaign your players aren't playing the villains, they're the MINIONS, they're mooks, henchmen, goons, lackeys. They're the disposable underlings of uncaring overseers who have nothing but ill intent towards them and the world at large.

Where as in a hero game the party is given the freedom to challenge and overthrow corrupt systems, in an evil game the party is suck as part of that corrupt system, forced to bend and compromise and sacrifice in order to survive. The fantasy is one of escaping that corrupt system, of biding your time just long enough to find an opening, find the right leverage, then tossing a molitov behind you on the way out.

Fundamentally it's the fantasy of escaping a shitty job by bringing the whole company down and punching your asshole boss in the face for good measure.

Below the cut I'm going to get into more nuance about how to build these kinds of narratives, also feel free to check out my evil party tag for campaigns and adventures that fit with the theme.

Designing a campaign made to be played from the perspective of the badguys requires you to take a different angle on quest and narrative design. It’s not so simple as swapping out the traditionally good team for the traditionally bad team and vis versa, having your party cut through a dungeon filled with against angel worshiping holyfolk in place of demon worshipping cultists etc. 

Instead, the primary villain of the first arc of the campaign should be your party’s boss. Not their direct overseer mind you, more CEO compared to the middle managers your party will be dealing with for the first leg of their journey. We should know a bit about that boss villain’s goals and a few hints at their motivation, enough for the party to understand that their actions are directly contributing to that inevitable doom.

“Gee, everyone knows lord Heldred swore revenge after being banished from the king’s council for dabbling in dark magic. I don’t know WHY he has us searching for these buried ancient tablets, but I bet it’s not good”

Next, you need a manager, someone who’s a part of the evil organization that the party directly interfaces with. The manager should have something over the party, whether it be threats of force, blackmail, economic dependency… anything that keeps the antiheroes on the manager’s leash. Whether you make your manager an obvious asshole or manipulative charmer, its important to maintain this power imbalance:   The party arn’t going to be rewarded when the boss-villain’s plan goes off, the manager is, but the manager’s usefulness to the boss-villain is contingent on the work they’re getting the party to do.  This tension puts us on a collison course to our first big narrative beat: do the party get tired of the manager’s abuse and run away? Do they kill the manager and get the attention of the upper ranks of the villainous organization? Do they work really hard at their jobs despite the obvious warning signs and outlive their usefulness? Do they upstage their manager and end up getting promoted, becoming rivals for the boss-villain’s favor? 

Building this tension up and then seeing how it breaks makes for a great first arc, as it lets your party determine among themselves when enough is enough, and set their goals for what bettering the situation looks like. 

As for designing those adventures, you’ll doubtlessly realize that since the party arn’t playing heroes you’ll need to change how the setup, conflict, and payoff work. They’re still protagonists, we want them to succeed after all, but we want to hammer home that they’re doing bad things without expecting them to jump directly to warcrimes. 

Up to no good: The basic building block of any evil campaign, our party need to do something skullduggerous without alerting the authorities.  This of course is going to be easier said than done, especially when the task spins out of control or proves far more daunting than first expected. The best the party can hope for is to make a distraction and then escape in the chaos, but it will very likely end with them being pursued in some manner (bounties, hunters, vengeful npcs and the like).  Use this setup early in a campaign so you have an external force gunning for your party during the remainder of their adventures. 

Dog eat dog:  It’s sort of cheating to excuse your party’s villainous actions by having them go up against another villain who happens to be worse than they are. The trick is that we’re not going after this secondary group of outlaws because they’re bad, we’re doing it because they’ve either got something the boss wants, or they’re edging in on the boss’s turf.  This sort of plotline sees the party disrupting or taking advantage of a rival’s operation, then taking over that operation and risking becoming just as villainous as that rival happened to be. This can also be combined with an “Up to no good” plot where both groups of miscreants need to step carefully without alerting an outside threat. 

The lesser evil: This kind of plot sees your party sent out to deal with an antagonistic force that’s a threat not only to the boss’s plans but to everyone in general. In doing so they might end up fighting alongside some heroes, or accidentally doing good in the long run. This not only gives your party a taste of heroism, but gives them something in their back pocket that could be used to challenge the boss-villain in the future.  

The double cross: In order to get what they want, the party need to “play along” with a traditional heroic narrative long enough to get their goal and then ditch. You have them play along specifically so they can get a taste of what life would be like if they weren't bastards, as well as to make friends with the NPCs inevitably going to betray. This is to make it hurt when you have the manager yank the leash and force the party to decide between finishing the job , or risk striking out on their own and playing hero in the short term while having just made a long term enemy. This is sort of plot is best used an adventure or two into the campaign, as the party will have already committed some villainous deeds that one good act can’t blot out. 

Next, lets talk about the sort of scenarios you should be looking to avoid when writing an evil campaign:

Around the time I started playing d&d there was this trend of obtusely binary morality systems in videogames which claimed to offer choice but really only existed to let the player chose between the power fantasy of being traditionally virtuous or the power fantasy of being an edgy rebel. Early examples included:

Do you want to steal food from disaster victims? in Infamous

Do you as a space cop assault a reporter who’s being kind of annoying to you? in Mass Effect

Do you blow up an entire town of innocent people for the lols? in Fallout (no seriously check out hbomberguy’s teardowm on fallout 3’s morality system and how critics at the time ate it up)

I think these games, along with the generational backwash of 90s “edge” and 00s “grit” coloured a lot of people's expectations ( including mine) about what a "villain as protagonist" sort of narrative might look like. They're childish exaggerations, devoid of substance, made even worse by how blithely their narratives treat them.

Burn down an inn full of people is not a good quest objective for an evil party, because it forces the characters to reach cartoonish levels of villainy which dissociates them from their players. Force all the villagers into the inn so we can lock them inside and do our job uninterrupted lets the party be bad, but in a way that the players can see the reason behind it and stay synced up with their characters. The latter option also provides a great setup for when the party's actually monstrous overseer sets the inn on fire to get rid of any witnesses after the job is done. Now the party (and their players) are faced with a moral quandary, will they let themselves be accessories to a massacre or risk incurring their manager's wrath? Rather than jumping face first into cackling cruelty, these sorts of quandaries have them dance along the knife's edge between grim practicality and dangerous uncertainly; It brings the player and character closer together.

Finally, lets talk about ending the villain arc:

I don't think you can play a whole evil campaign. Both because the escalation required is narratively unsustainable, but also because the most interesting aspect of playing badguys is the breaking point. Just like heroes inevitably having doubts about whether or not they're doing the right thing, there's only so long that a group of antiheroes can go along KNOWING they're doing the wrong thing before they put their feet down and say "I'm out". I think you plan a evil campaign up until a specific "there's no coming back from this" storybeat, IE letting the Inn burn... whether or not the party allows it to happen, it's the lowest point the narrative will allow them to reach before they either fight back or allow themselves to be subsumed. If they rebel, you play out the rest of the arc dismantling the machine they helped to build, taking joy in its righteous destruction. If they keep going along, show them what they get for being cogs: inevitably betrayed, sacrificed, or used as canon fodder when the real heroes step in to do their jobs for them.

Art

[jjngkook7]

Choices (6)

Werewolf Au! Jungkook x Reader / Enemies to Lovers [Angst and mature content. Not smut but almost smut.]

Summary: Jungkook finally found her. His mate. His lifelong partner. But she’s a human. Does he have to stay with her or can he stick it to whatever and whoever binds mates together and make his own decision? ***THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR PATIENCE. I PROMISE I WON'T MAKE YOU WAIT THIS LONG AGAIN***

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5

You rang in the new year with some coworkers. The night was a blur of lights, laughter and music. Despite being a lightweight, you didn’t get as drunk as you thought, in fact, you were barely tipsy. It was hard to have fun when your reality didn’t even feel real. You had all the ingredients to drink your heart out: you met who was supposed to be your soulmate, you find out that mythical creatures are real and your best friend in the whole world has been hiding all of this from you for a year. To add more salt to the wound, Jennie spent Christmas and New Years with the pack. Sad wasn’t quite the right word for how you felt, maybe confused or disoriented? You had been in a haze since the last time you saw everyone trying to figure out if the past weeks were real or not.

After Jungkook dropped you back off at the cabin, Namjoon decided that you should leave for your safety. Apparently having someone as unpredictable as Jungkook free from his chains while his mate was hanging out with other men was not a good idea even after you told Namjoon that Jungkook actually saved your life. Namjoon took you home that night and advised you to keep your distance for a while. He seemed sad when he dropped you off and truth be told, you were kind of sad too. You had a fondness for Namjoon because he was the one that made you feel sane and safe throughout this whole journey. You would miss your friendship with him and everyone else.

Your phone pinged, reeling you out of your thoughts. You thew it towards the edge of your bed when you saw that it was just one of those annoying marketing texts. Your eyes then glided towards the Christmas card on your nightstand as it did almost everyday; it was the one artifact you had proving that everything you went through was real. Everyone from the pack had signed the card, all except for one. You reached for the card and ran your fingertips over the glitter covered snowman on the front page. I wonder how he’s doing. Embarrassed didn’t even begin to explain how you felt. You felt like a fool, an actual idiot for still wondering about Jungkook’s wellbeing when he couldn’t even write his name on a stupid Christmas card for you-he probably laughed when Namjoon asked him to contribute. With one last read through of the card, you placed it under your bed and made never thinking about Jungkook again as your new year’s resolution.

__________________________________

Maybe because there was no one to talk to about your new year’s resolution in full but getting over Jungkook was pretty easy. You hadn’t spoken to anyone in the pack in over a month and the memories of them become less and less clear by the day. Was it Jin that helped you with your injuries or Yoongi? Was it Namjoon that drove you home or did Hoseok tag along also? And did you actually feel sparks when Jungkook touched you or was it just your imagination? Either way, it felt good to feel less crazy. It was only when you and Jennie hung out that everything would hit you like a freight train. Seeing her was bittersweet. You were so happy to spend time with your best friend despite your guys’ schedule but you couldn’t help this building of resentment in your chest at the same time. Anger and guilt gnawed at you so raw that replying to her texts took hours to do. Luckily, both of you were so busy with work that seeing each other was few and far between.

One thing you had a really hard time forgetting was the night you had to leave. After Jungkook asked you to wait, you sat by his side and watched him catch his breath. It was hard seeing someone in so much pain despite the lack of physical wounds. Once Jungkook seemed to have a grip on himself, he told you to sit as far away from him as possible while he sat on the other side of the cabin. You remembered feeling like you were naked under his red gaze, like he could see every single movement you made. Jungkook told you that it wasn’t safe for you to leave yet and that you had to wait for a little bit. Unbeknownst to you, Jungkook couldn’t have you leave just yet. A wolf in the midst of his heat finally meeting his mate after being kept away from them was like a ticking time bomb. Jungkook needed to engulf your scent and calm his mind before letting you go back to a cabin full of fully grown men. He was surprised that you complied and that you kept your composure. Sure, he noticed your trembling hands and shortness of breath but you kept calm and collected. Jungkook needed to direct his attention to something else-anything- and so the small talk began. It started off with what you did for work and ended with Jungkook shit talking his pack mates. When Jungkook felt sane enough, he insisted he carry you home to be safe. You remember flinching when a low growl escaped from Jungkook when you hooked your arms around his neck. You felt his body shake as you wrapped your legs around his waist. It took a minute before he was able to hoist you up and get going. You remembered him being gentle and asking if you were all right the whole way back to the cabin. You remembered him letting you down a couple meters in front of the cabin because Namjoon would’ve killed him if he saw Jungkook and you together.

“Are you going to be okay?” you asked.

Jungkook offered you a nod, his bright red eyes doing the soft smile on his face an injustice. Perhaps it was the darkness playing tricks on your eyesight but Jungkook looked bigger. His muscles were more toned, his hair was thicker and his overall aura was just larger. You felt embarrassed drooling over his physique like some school girl despite almost dying a couple hours ago. Namjoon’s voice from inside the cabin redirected your guys’ attention and you suddenly remembered that it was below freezing outside.

“I-I’m going to go inside now,” you reached out your hand to give Jungkook’s arm a reassuring squeeze but retracted remembering how much he ordered you to not touch him, “goodnight.”

To your surprise, Jungkook reached out instead and caressed your face with both his hands. You closed your eyes and leaned into his touch pathetically. Jungkook left out an exhale of both relief and frustration. Every ounce of control he had was quickly slipping through his fingers. He was teetering towards the edge of danger with you right now. You opened your eyes to see Jungkook watching you but not like he did before. Just a couple of hours ago, you felt like a prey under his gaze. This time, he was looking at you like how Taehyung looked at Jennie.

“Do me a favor?” he asked, his voice almost hoarse.

You nodded and scrunched your eyebrows. What could you possibly do for him? Jungkook felt his stomach drop knowing what he was going to ask of you. The warmth that happened when you guys touched intensified as Jungkook brought your body closer to his. He knew he only had a couple minutes to relish your touch before his heat and his reality would take over again.

“I need you to forget about this night,” he finally said. Although subtle, he felt your pressure lift from his hands. “I need you to forget about me, about my pack, about everything. Make it like I never even existed, and I’ll do the same. Trust me, it’s for the best.”

As cruel as his words already were, Jungkook then sealed it by pressing his lips against yours. You couldn’t help but gasp which, he happily swallowed. A surge of electricity pulsed through you as he deepened the kiss. The heat from his body immediately making you forget how cold it was. As gentle as he was, you remembered his body began to tremble and the slight sting against your bottom lip when his fangs unsheathed.

And that was all you wanted to remember. Perhaps you were a masochist. Of all the memories you chose to forget, you just couldn’t let go of this particular one; no one ever really completes their new year’s resolution anyways. You knew you would never get an answer but it didn’t matter anymore. Every time Jennie saw you, she'd try to ask about Jungkook but you would either change the subject or give her vague answers. You didn't want to know more than you already did.

“Goodnight, Sooyoung!” you chimed.

“Goodnight,” Sooyoung replied with a sympathetic smile, “you should leave soon.”

“I will!” you lied, “see you tomorrow morning.”

Sooyoung hovered by your desk for a few more seconds before heading towards the elevator. It was common for you to stay after work but not for this long. You waved at Sooyoung until the elevator doors finally closed. When you were certain that there was no one else in the office, you closed the document you were pretending to work on and slumped against your chair. A tired sigh left your mouth as you roughly ran your hands against your face. Just as you were accepting your new reality, the past week and a half had you re-questioning your sanity. Being at home recently felt eerie. You were constantly checking over your shoulder and hesitant to sleep with your bedroom door closed. The nightmares you were having didn’t help either. Night after night, you would see the same things in your dream: rogue wolves chasing you and a Jungkook bleeding out to top it off. You’d jolt awake in the middle of the night and could only fall back asleep after taking melatonin. With the nightmares being a daily occurrence, the melatonin had stopped taking effect and you were left trying to calm your racing heart on your own. To your disdain, the only place you felt safe was at work. Your office was high up on the 25th floor and security here was pretty strict. You concluded that your paranoia was from these nightmares but those moments when you felt like someone was watching you felt too real to blame on lack of sleep. You put your head down against your desk and stared at the time displayed on your computer. It was nearing 7:45 and you promised yourself that you’d leave at 8pm. As the minutes ticked by, you tried to come up with some sort of game plan to combat another inevitable sleepless night.

____________________________________

“Jungkook!” Taehyung shouted as he kicked over a half conscious rogue towards Jungkook.

Jungkook caught it mid air and slammed it down onto the ground before ripping its head off. With that being the last rogue, Jungkook and pack were able to finally catch their breath as they examined the graveyard of torn limbs by their feet.

“Where the fuck are they coming from?” Hoseok panted.

Namjoons eyes wavered as he studied the carcasses on the ground. He had no answer for Hoseok. Rogue wolves attack here and there but never had he seen such great numbers. Their appearance usually coincided with the phases of the moon but recently, their attacks had been random and in hoards. He did notice that they foolishly always went for Jungkook first. As strong as Jungkook was, he was not invincible. Namjoon had also taken note of how haggard and tired his pack was from fighting almost everyday. If they didn't find an answer anytime soon, he feared that he would lose a pack member.

Everyone turned their head towards the trees when they heard a branch snap. In the distance, Jungkook caught a flash of white teeth and familiar pitch black eyes.

“I got it!” Jungkook shouted, before running after the rogue.

He was fucking exhausted. He really hoped that this was the last one because he was losing strength and fast. These recent attacks only fuelled his anger because if he had mated with someone of his species, he would’ve tripled in strength by now.

A yelp emitted from the rogue when Jungkook finally caught up and grabbed its legs. Jungkook swung the rogue against a tree, breaking its ribs in the process. As the creature whimpered against the ground, Jungkook winced when he saw that it was laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Jungkook sneered, angry that it was still breathing.

The creature seemed to be mumbling a familiar word over and over again but Jungkook couldn’t figure out what it was saying. Another yelp came out from the rogue as Jungkook kicked its face in. He crouched down and grabbed the creature by its scruff.

“Speak up!” He demanded.

Despite his impressive experience fighting rogues, Jungkook still had a hard time getting used to the disturbing ways these creatures moved and laughed even though they were near death. This rogue had its jaw kicked in and its tongue was hanging out due to the lack of the bottom half of its face. The grip Jungkook had on it tightened when it continued mumbling. Just as he was about to lose his patience trying to unscramble the creatures jargon, Jungkook finally put together what it was mumbling. The rogue seemed to notice the shift in Jungkook’s eyes and laughed even louder.

“I bet she’d taste so good too.” were its last words before Jungkook ripped out its heart.

Jungkook had to get back to Namjoon and let him know what happened.

It was mumbling your name this whole time.

The living room was quiet as the pack tended to their wounds. Jin went around ensuring that everyone was treating their injuries correctly even if it was just a little scratch.

"You need to clean it." Jin sighed, looking at the deep cut on Jungkook's forearm. The cut was his own fault. As Jungkook was ripping the rogues heart out, his arm got caught in the creatures ribs and it carved his arm as he was pulling it out of its chest.

"Just leave it, Jin." Jungkook grumbled, swatting Jin's worried hands away.

Namjoon and Jin exchanged glances, both annoyed and worried about the youngest member but Namjoon didn't have time to adhere to Jungkook's attitude. Thankfully, no one was seriously hurt but who knew when the rogues would come back to attack again.

"So," Yoongi said, sucking his teeth in the process, "anyone here knows what they want?"

Jungkook wanted to hear his members theories before jumping the gun because maybe the rogue was toying with Jungkook or maybe it wasn't even saying your name at all. The silence that followed confirmed Jungkook's fear. No matter what Jungkook did, he just couldn't seem to get away from you. All eyes were on Jungkook when he suddenly cursed.

"They're after her." Jungkook said, his fingers pinching his nose bridge.

"Who?" Jimin asked.

"His mate." Taehyung's grin only grew when Jungkook glared at him.

Amidst Jimin's surprise and the symphony of swear words thrown back and forth between the members, Namjoon felt his heart sink as a wave of deja vu hit him. The younger one failed to notice the sadness in the leaders eyes as he berated his pack mates who were teasing him with swear words.

"They're not after her," Namjoon finally spoke, breaking the fight, "Jungkook, they're after you and then her. They know that you'd go after them if they kill her before you mark her. They're after you first to get you out of the picture. As long as she's unmated, they're going to keep coming."

Namjoon felt a lump grow in his throat as realization washed over each member. All eyes slowly turned towards Jungkook who had his fists balled up. The pressure from his fists made his blood seep out from the cut on his forearm. Why did he have to deal with this? How come you were still intertwined with him despite being away for over a month? What did he have to fucking do to get rid of you for good?

"T-this could be different, Namjoon." Jungkook stammered, his mind moving too quick for his mouth to catch up.

"Jungkook listen to me," Namjoon said picking his words carefully as he approached Jungkook, "only you can stop this. We can't fend them off forever."

Jungkook grit his teeth and felt his breath labour. This wasn't fair. He didn't choose this and it seemed like life wasn't planning on giving him too many options either. Jungkook began to replay the conversation he had with Namjoon after he first discovered you. The blood from Jungkook's cut was now staining his pants as he remembered what Namjoon said about how strong humans were. What a fucking joke.

"I am stopping this! Who here in this room has killed more rogues than me? Huh? Who?!" Jungkook bursted.

Jungkook's brown eyes had now turned into a dark red shade.

"Killing them one will send ten. Killing ten will send a hundred. Killing a hundred will send a thousand. You have the responsibility to save her life," Namjoon argued tiredly, "look at your brothers. Look at you! We are not immortal, Jungkook."

Jungkook jumped up from his seat and grabbed his hair. His ears were now ringing. His responsibility?! He hadn't even marked you yet, why were you now his responsibility? He couldn't help but laugh aloud by how absurd everything and everyone was sounding. You had stolen what seemed like everything away from him-his freedom, his bodily functions and now even his morals. You kept taking from him and now you were his responsibility?

"Jungkook please," Jin pleaded, "can you please put your own ego aside and make a good choice for once in your life?"

Jungkook turned towards Jin and snarled, "Remind me who saved your fucking life just 20 minutes ago? If I hadn't ran to you in time, you would've been shredd-"

"Enough!" Namjoon yelled, "Whether you like it or not, her life is in your hand-"

"I will not be responsible for her death like you were for Irene!"

Within a second, Jungkook was slammed against the wall. His right cheek was throbbing and his nose bloodied. He wasn't sure if he had finished his sentence but the right hook from Namjoon answered that question for him. Before Jungkook could orient himself, Namjoon grabbed Jungkook by the neck and trapped him against the wall again.

"You will never utter her name in that context again do you understand?" Namjoon asked through gritted teeth.

Jungkook licked his lower lip, the taste of his own blood filling his mouth as he did.

"Do you understand?!" Namjoon bellowed, shaking Jungkook.

"Y-yes." Jungkook finally answered.

The older one finally let go but not without giving Jungkook one final shove.

"Have a better attitude tomorrow morning or you fend for yourself from now on." Namjoon threatened before disappearing into his study.

Jungkook kept his eyes on the floor as his members stood around staring at him. Jungkook could only count on one hand how many times he felt ashamed in life, he would now have to count on two hands after tonight. His members didn't say a word to him as they retreated back to their rooms one by one. Taehyung lingered for a little bit longer. He wanted to ring Jungkook out but decided to leave him to sulk all alone. Jungkook watched his blood drip from his nose onto his sweater. Would dying by some disgusting creatures be better than surrendering to fate? One thing was for sure, Jungkook would rather die with his brothers than alone. He turned his head towards the end of the hallway where Namjoon's study was. The searing pain from his broken nose was nothing compared to what he just said to Namjoon.

Namjoon had his head buried in his hands as Jungkook's words echoed in his mind. It had been years since Irene's death but it still pained him like it happened yesterday. He knew the younger one was speaking out of anger but if he only knew how much Namjoon did blame himself.

"You know, I couldn't even mourn her after she died. I think I finally did after three months." Namjoon spoke.

Jungkook figured it was probably the smell from all his blood that alerted Namjoon to his presence. He cautiously walked towards Namjoon and sat in front of him.

"Her death was the first out of the two times I ever regretted taking leadership of our pack." Namjoon continued, looking up to meet the younger ones sad gaze.

"And the second?" Jungkook asked, his voice barely audible.

"Tonight." Namjoon replied.

Jungkook let the uncomfortable silence engulf him. He stared at the picture of Irene resting on the bookshelf behind Namjoon and felt remorse like he had never before. Irene was Namjoon's mate. For years, Namjoon refused to mark her not because he didn't want to-because he did-but because he was afraid of bringing Irene in his world. He thought the best way to protect her was to keep her away. Jungkook had never seen someone love another person the way Namjoon loved Irene. He doted on her and gave her anything she ever wanted, everything except for one. Irene had begged and begged Namjoon to make her his official mate but he always rejected her advances. By the time Namjoon decided to turn a new leaf, it was too late. If Namjoon had marked her, he would've been stronger and maybe could've fought off the pack of rogues. That day, Jungkook and the pack were out hunting. When they came back, the cabin they had built had been ripped apart. The image of Namjoon carrying Irene's bloody body in his arms as he wept and called out her name was forever imprinted in Jungkook's brain. Namjoon's physical state was no better and if they hadn't returned when they did, they would've lost their leader too. Irene was one of the strongest people Jungkook knew. She was brave, unwavering and quick witted. Before Jin met Mina, it was Irene nursing everyone back to health after a fight and braving the forest to find medicine. Irene was strong and she was human.

"I'm really sorry. I didn't mean what I said and I shouldn't have said that," Jungkook apologized tearing his eyes away from Irene, "I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you."

Namjoon smiled. Although brash and somewhat arrogant, Jungkook always meant well at the end of the day. He couldn't even count how many brawls Jungkook got into because someone slightly badmouthed a member of the pack.

"Please, your life will probably end in the next few minutes with the amount of blood you're losing. Just let me punch the other side of your face and we can call it even." Namjoon joked.

Jungkook scoffed and wiped his nose. He really was losing a lot of blood.

"Jungkook, I couldn't save Irene but you have a chance here. Learning to love someone...don't you think that's better than losing someone," Namjoon wanted to laugh when he saw Jungkook flinch at the word 'love', "and if you can't do it for her, do it for me. For Irene."

Jungkook swallowed the lump in his throat, "I-I don't know if I can mark her right away, you have to give me some time."

Namjoon nodded understandingly.

"But I promise," Jungkook sucked in a breath, "I'll protect her with my life."

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

Skizzekai Community AU

Welcome to the land of Hermiton, a world saturated with magic in the very ground and air itself. In this AU, the hermits are adventurers, rulers of kingdoms, merchants, and more, all in the setting of a medieval-ish fantasy world. As with past community AUs, the contributions of all you headcanoners will be the driving force. But as a framework to build off, here's a summary of the key points in play at the start of our story.

THE MAGIC

Magic flows through everything in this world, with different types of it being most prevalent in different regions. The most dominant type of magic tends to be absorbed by native plants and animals, changing them to fit, so an area saturated in fire magic would be populated by fiery creatures. This includes sapient species- there are no humans in this world, but there is a staggering variety of fantastical races. Most creatures simply channel their magic through inherent traits, like enhanced speed or a breath weapon, but sapient species can additionally shape and direct their own magic for use as spells, learning and growing their skill with practice. Magical crafting and alchemy is also possible, by using the magical properties inherent in everything from a dragon's scales to the smallest of plants.

THE WORLD

Although independent towns and unclaimed land do exist, most of the world is split up into kingdoms, each one with a different magical specialty from the most dominant type of magic within their borders. One example is the kingdom ruled by Joel Smallishbeans, a king recently ascended to semi-godhood from the belief of his people and the application of his own powerful magic. The magic of this kingdom is that of fate and stories, prophecy and lore, and a recent prophecy has been particularly interesting. They say a hero must be summoned from another world, and that they will be needed to defeat a great evil.

THE SKIZZ

And here comes the titular character. Skizz Leman, a completely normal human from Earth, is brand new to this world. He's just been summoned by a man who calls himself a god, told he's the chosen one, and sent out to save the world. He has no idea how to do that.

As for the roles of other Hermits, the magic they might specialize in and the species they may be- that is all up to you! Assuming you've read the guidelines (under the cut), the fate of this AU lies in the hands of the inbox. Happy headcanoning!

Rules and guidelines:

- The end date will be announced later, when the AU feels like it has hit a natural stopping point. A post announcing the end will be made a day in advance of the inbox closing.

- After the AU closes, any remaining asks will still be posted, and discussion on the discord is still encouraged!

- Canonicity of submissions will be taken on a first come, first serve basis. If a later submission contradicts an earlier one, it will be considered an alternate and not part of the "main" AU canon.

- Alternates will be posted with [ALTERNATE] text. They will all still be posted, every idea should be seen, and discussion of alternates is encouraged on their own posts and on the discord.

- Au-related art and writing is strongly encouraged! Please tag hermitcraftheadcanons in your posts if you would like us to see and reblog it.

- Non-AU-related headcanons are still accepted, but will not be posted until all the Skizzekai asks are cleared out once the AU is over.

Thank you all for being understanding and patient about these rules. If you need clarification, feel free to ask.

[meazalykov]

redirection II

esmee brugts x barcaplayer!R

last chapter: redirection I

next chapter: redirection III

walking into my apartment, i shut the door and place my black nike sports bag on the bench in the foyer. there was a light breeze in the kitchen because i left the balcony doors open when i left home this morning.

i didn't want to do anything right now since i had a busy morning. i had to wake up at 6am, eat breakfast, get to ciutat at 8am, complete paperwork and contracts, do medical tests, take pictures for my first day, and have my first training practice with the team.

the excitement in my body wouldn't go away though. barcelona is the best club in the world currently, i had high hopes for this season and just want to contribute to the team.

turning on my phone that was in my back pocket, the time read 1:23pm. well, in europe it's 13:23. however, it would take me a while to get used to that as an american.

i saw a few texts from a phone number i didn't recognize too.

hi y/n!

what time are you free later?

we should go to la selva. it's a restaurant in the city. i haven't been there before but ingrid recommended it :)

i blushed as i remembered the conversation with esmee earlier. i appreciated the idea of going out to eat with her, i want to build bonds with my new teammates the same way i had with my old teammates back in washington.

considering that i've met her today, i couldn't say that i had a crush on her (yet). that would be too fast. however, i thought about her on the drive back to my apartment. i'm excited to spend time with a new friend and teammate.

y/n: esmee!!!!

y/n: i'm free around 17:00/5pm. i have to do some things for my apartment and i'll be ready.

y/n: i just looked up the location to la selva restaurant. it's not too far from my apartment. it's a 6-minute walk from me :)

i added esmee's phone number into my phone as "esmee :)" before i clicked off of imessage to go on instagram. clicking on my notifications, i saw "esmeebrugts followed you 5d" meaning that she followed me five days ago.

going on her profile, i see that some of my friends back in america follow her and she follows a couple of them back. everyone kind of knows each other in this sport so i am not surprised.

i don't go on instagram when i am not posting, so i felt bad when i saw that she followed five days ago. i followed her back immediately.

s/n went back to america earlier with our mom and i miss her already. we walked on the barceloneta beach before dinner last night, celebrating my new life in spain. she took pictures of me and i feel happy enough to post them on instagram.

(pretend this is you in the pictures)

y/n.l/n

barcelona, catalunya, españa

liked by esmeebrugts, sscofff, and 41,375 others

loving barcelona already 🌞💙

comments

y/nhive THE PRETTIEST

ingrid_engen So cool 😍

malpugh obsessed with you 🥹

woso21 when she scores in her debut I will be there

leahwilliamsfan8967 ME TOO!

randomuser267 Golden girl '23 ❓

janafernandez3 🥰

trinity_rodman 🔥🔥🔥

-

when i told esmee that i had to do things for my apartment before the dinner, i wasn't lying. throughout the past week i've been decorating my apartment so it felt like home. i know it will take a while to get used to this place, since i am across the atlantic ocean in a new country away from my old home.

three hours had passed and i've finished completing everything for my apartment. i picked up my phone from the coffee table and the time read 4:12pm/16:12. i saw i've received 5 text messages from different people:

esmee :) 2hrs ago: la selva isn't far from me as well, see you at 17:00!

trinity r 2hrs ago: heyy girl! how's barcelona?

emily f 2hrs ago: sent 2 tiktok attachments you at camp 😭💀

unknown number: hi its ingrid!

the first person i texted back is ingrid, i gave her my number before she left training earlier with mapi. i changed her contact name to just "ingrid e".

y/n: hi ingrid!

i texted trinity back as well, saying that barcelona is great and asked her how she's doing back in washington. i reacted to esmee's message with a like and emily's with the "haha" reaction.

i had about 45 minutes until i had to meet esmee at la selva, so i quickly went into my bedroom and changed into a different outfit than what i had on this morning.

deciding to do my usual hairstyle (imagine whatever you want, reader <3), i placed on a bit of brow gel, concealer, mascara, blush, and lip balm as part of my makeup routine. i constantly checked the time on my phone, making sure that i am not late to meeting esmee. i promise this obsession over the time just isn't due to my interest in her; with friends i'll try not to disrespect their time by being late to an event.

after putting on my outfit (photo above^), I checked the time and it's finally 4:45/16:45. i grabbed my purse, put on my sandals, made sure to lock my apartment door, and followed my phone gps towards la selva.

stepping outside, the warm weather with the nice breeze made me smile. my white oversized button-up shirt flowed with the soft breeze. usually, my social anxiety would plague my thoughts about hanging out with someone new in my life. i used to feel shaky and hesitant about these situations. however, i promised myself that i would be more open with others once i came to spain.

i turned the corner away from my street, heading to walk straight for about a quarter of a mile. suddenly, i saw a group of girls. one girl had box braids with a nice orange sundress on. another girl was a redhead with freckles, wearing a pair of jean shorts with a green shirt. the third girl, who was closest to a restaurant door they were standing out of, was a brunette and wore a 22/23 barcelona kit with a pair of light-washed jeans. these girls were a few years younger than me, if i had to guess.

when the girl in the barcelona shirt saw me walk by her, she gasped before coming up behind me and tapping me on the shoulder. i didn't walk past her to ignore her, i figured that since i'm new to barcelona i wouldn't be recognizable yet.

"are you y/n l/n? you look so pretty in person. sorry i- um- wow i am such a fan of your talent." the shy girl spoke with a spanish accent. i smiled at her as her two friends stood behind her, looking at me with admiration too.

"thank you so much! i appreciate your kind words." i responded.

the girl pulled out her blue-cased iphone to give to her friend, "can i take a picture with you?" she asked. i responded yes kindly.

after taking pics with the three girls, i continued to walk to the restaurant. turning onto the street where la selva was, i heard my imessage notification go off in my back pocket.

i clicked on my lock button to see that i received a text message from esmee. the time is currently 4:57/16:57. the restaurant is in view from where i am walking so i wasn't late.

esmee: i am here! i got us a table already so i am inside.

y/n: i am right outside. heading in now :)

as i approached the restaurant, i stopped and took a deep breath as my nerves started to increase in unfamiliarity. my social anxiety won't ruin this potential friendship i want to have.

i smiled in awe when entering the steakhouse. the place has beautiful lighting, nice vinery, and was pretty spacious. there was nobody up front at the hostess station, so i continued to walk into the restaurant to find esmee.

as i turned the corner, i saw the dutch girl sitting. she had her familiar braids with her back facing towards me. she's looking down towards her lap so i know she is on her phone.

if i knew her well enough, i would've scared her from behind. a "boo!" could've been funny. oh well, next time i will.

"esmee!!!" i said, going to sit down in the seat across from hers. the chairs in the restaurant were hanging from the roof, the whole area was pretty.

"y/n hey!" esmee clicked off of her phone and placed it upward on the table. i placed my bag in the chair beside my left leg before i fully acknowledged esmee's appearance.

i cannot deny it. i found her attractive since seeing her at training this morning. she had this shy and sweet aura to her. don't get me started on her adorable smile…

she wore a black nike hoodie and had on a nice gold necklace. i can't see her pants from below the table, but i believe i saw black cargos when walking towards her from behind.

"i'm sorry i am a little late, a fan recognized me and asked me for a photograph." i giggled. i knew i didn't have to apologize because it was exactly 5:00/17:00 when i arrived, i just hoped that she didn't wait long.

"it's totally okay! i just sat down when i saw your message about you being outside." esmee responded. the dutch accent when she speaks english is pulling me in, emotionally, as i look at her with a smile.

be cool, y/n. i thought to myself.

"okay that's good. i didn't want to keep you waiting." i commented.

"you're fine, no worries… so i see a fan recognized you already." esmee said with her recognizable smile.

i laughed lightly and was going to respond until a waitress came up to our table.

"hi, i'm maria, i will be your server tonight. can i get you started with any drinks?" the brunette, who had french braids in her hair, smiled at us.

i looked at esmee, seeing if she wanted to answer what she wanted first. she nodded her head at me, offering for me to go first. we nearly laughed before i said to maria, "i'll just take a water." esmee wanted the same thing and maria smirked at us before walking away.

"yeah, a fan did recognize me. she had on a pedri shirt and stared at me walking by her before she stopped me for a picture. she had her friends with her and they were so kind." i said.

esmee nodded her head, "that's good. i'm glad they were kind to you."

"same, the last thing i need for the end of my first week in spain is a mean person coming at me." i shook my head at the possible thought.

"have you had any fan interactions here since tuesday?" i asked esmee. it's monday today so esmee arrived in barcelona before i did.

"i had a few actually. a few oranje fans saw me and asked for a picture. i went to mexico with the team for a friendly on thursday and was able to meet more fans there too." esmee commented. the barcelona team had a friendly in mexico against club america from what i saw on their instagram pages. my contract wasn't signed until a few days ago, when they came back to barcelona, so i wasn't able to go.

"you're so lucky! how was mexico?" i smiled.

esmee looked up, thinking about her few days for the club america friendly, before looking back at me with a smile.

"mexico was fun. we didn't walk around or do much. however, i saw an old teammate from psv that plays at club america so that was nice. uh… it was nerve-wracking too." esmee said.

"i understand, it was your first time playing with the team. friendly or not. being nervous and excited is normal." i validated her feelings.

"that's true. i did good in mexico so the worry was for nothing." esmee lightly laughed as i looked at her with a blush.

maria came by with our waters and asked what we wanted to eat. realizing that we spent most of our time talking instead of looking at the menu, we asked for a few extra minutes. the waitress accepted it and smiled before walking away, giving us time.

esmee and i looked through the menus deciding what we wanted. most of the menu was in spanish, so we had to flip to the english part of the menu. while looking through the menu, esmee and i didn't talk. the silence between us wasn't awkward since there was a nice jazz song playing throughout the restaurant.

"have you ever had salmon?" i asked esmee. the girl looked at me with a smile before nodding. i smiled back before saying, "i never had salmon before. the salmon with pineapple and avocado sounds good though."

"you never had salmon before? you should try it, it's good." esmee said as she looked back at her menu.

"okay, i'll try that." i closed the menu and placed it in front of me on the table. esmee looked at the menu for a couple of more seconds before closing it as well, "i'm going to get the same thing." she smiled.

"copy cat." i joked.

"i am not copying you… you just have good taste." esmee rolled her eyes playfully which made me laugh.

"i'm just kidding es. you can copy me as much as you want to without me feeling annoyed." i smiled before freaking out internally, "oh my god, i hope she didn't take that as flirting. i don't want to freak her out already." i thought. my face still had a smile and esmee lightly laughed so i dropped the thought.

after maria came back and we ordered our food, esmee and i took the opportunity to talk a lot more. we discussed our soccer/futbol journey before coming to barcelona, our families, our upcoming game with madrid cff, and our love for video games. we have a lot in common.

the dutch girl never mentioned having a girlfriend while she talked about the people close in her life, i took note of that.

maria came back with our food around 45 minutes after we ordered. esmee and i didn't talk much as we had our food but it's okay. again, the silence wasn't painful or awkward to me. other conversations from people around us and the light music kept my mind occupied.

i didn't want to stare at esmee, since that would be weird for our first time hanging out, but she looked so pretty. sometimes when i looked at her, she already looked at me with a shy smile. this made me blush, she noticed it but didn't say anything.

the check came back and the price wasn't expensive at all. esmee and i forgot to ask if we could split the check but we didn't want to bother Maria who is helping with other tables.

"I can pay for it!" I said as I placed my silver credit card on top of the receipt on the table.

esmee shook her head no as she placed her credit card on top of the receipt, handing me my card back.

"I offered to take you here so it's on me." the dutch said. she wasn't lying but i didn't want to make her feel obligated to pay for my food when i can.

"yeah but-"

"y/n, it's okay." esmee spoke softly before Maria took her card and walked away. I blushed knowing that I couldn't debate with the girl.

"okay but next time I am paying."

"there's going to be a next time?" esmee teased, her eyes filled with admiration.

"oh absolutely!" I said enjoying her company.

Next Chapter: Redirection III

a/n: long chapter, hope you enjoyed :)

[solar-sunnyside-up]

WARNING-- Reaping Week is coming (Oct 26th - Nov 5th)

I've alluded to this a few times and chatted with a few ppl behind the curtain over this but I wanted to give a heads up to anyone who wants to either block the tag or do something to add to it!!

Tldr- if you want to avoid the more grim and possibly triggering stuff going on this week feel free to block #reaping week it won't be for everyone.

What is reaping week?

As @my-chemical-ratz helped me create the name for, reaping week is gunna be a Solarpunk (heavy on the punk) week of rebellion, rebuilding community and defiance!

Gathering its name both from the harvest season and from the Hunger Games reaping of tributes this week I'm gunna be posting things that are a little less cheery than my usual stuff. More focused in the anger, rightful rage, and how to direct it to action in your area. My hope is to build fires in all of us and burn some stuff down!!

What this going to include?

There's a few different facets I wanna cover---

Personal - DIY stuff. projects, local events, personal victories!

Sources of inspiration- as Solarpunk is built off of the idea of creating something to bring it to life I'm also going to be shoving certain media in your face that might give you food for thought, music to listen to while planning your rebellion, or quotes/movies/books to consume to inspiration your directed rage to a proper target.

How to organize and and build community directly in your area + Histoical movements (bread and roses, union strikes, things that have worked in the past)

Can I contribute/use the tag/join?

ABSOLUTELY BABES!! While I currently only plan on doing this with the stuff I've been saving over a few months in my queue everytime I got to pissed off to be hopeful, feel free to do your own works/posts as wanted!

Have a fave union victory? Share it!

Have a recommended piece of media that stokes fire and passion in you? Share it! Send it my way!

Wanna show off some grim and angry project or vent about how things are terrible? This is your chance!

[leonscape]

my honest thoughts/criticisms of chevalier

i’m gonna get canceled so hard for this. but it’s fandom and we are all allowed to share our opinions and discuss them

i know i am in the minority. of course we will always have a few people who like or dislike a certain thing so im not going to claim that im the only one that feels like this.

this is not to disrespect chevalier or his fans. i just wish to share my opinion and i know im subjecting myself to criticism as well. i’ll just cry about it later

you probably shouldn’t read if you don’t want to hear someone complain about chevalier 😅

but do read if you wish to see chevalier from the point of view from someone who isn’t a fan of his.

with his cold nature and emotions, as a reader, it is very difficult for me to develop a connection to him. he has nothing to latch onto.

i will go into detail on what i mean by something to latch onto so i will go off on a tangent here, feel free to skip this. for example on this idea of something to latch onto: with jin, the comedy is easy to connect to. his story is able to explain why he does the things he does and it does build up emotion between emma (or you the reader) and jin. with clavis, it is easy to admire his hard work. he also purposely pokes and prods to bother emma which brings out emotions. for leon, he brings comfort and warm emotions, it’s easy to get attached. yves is also quite comical as well, but he’s also very kind and it’s not hard to connect with him. licht, nokto, and luke’s stories are very heavy as it deals with abuse and negligence so it’s not hard to develop empathy for them.

for chevalier, he simply just is. no event has influence over chevalier. he is described as always being the way that he is. he was born a genius. he was reading books on complex topics, seemingly ever since he learned how to read. he always appeared emotionless; he sheds blood without batting an eye. it came to a point where it scared his own mother. he just has photographic memory. i know it’s possible for some to have such a thing, but it’s simply just given to him. i dare say he has never worked for anything in his life. everything has been given to him and he’s never struggled. if he’s so intelligent and everything is so easy for him, he doesn’t need to break a sweat in putting in effort. there is nothing to inspire a sort of connection. it’s hard to feel bad for someone who is quite apathetic and unbothered.

although, i do think it’s perfectly fine to have a character like this. there is a way to have chevalier be this inhumanly perfect person. for me, i actually really like the idea of him being into romance novels. it is very endearing and it does bring out a human side. but they don’t do anything with it! i say this because it feels like emma and chevalier’s relationship is one sided. all the effort is coming from emma. emma is the one that has to prove to chevalier the value of love. chevalier doesn’t do anything to contribute to developing the relationship. it’s only about emma proving its worth, thus it feels like the effort falls on emma alone. when he is shown to care about emma and have feelings for her, it feels unnatural to me. because how is he gonna develop an intimate relationship with some he’s known for one month, putting in little effort, when he barely has relationships with his brothers, where he puts no effort, and some of whom do care for him (i’m trying to get at jin who cares for him and leon who’s never expressed any fear when interacting with him.)

my overall point here is that it would be nice if we did have chevalier put in effort, or more effort if that tickles your fancy. have him imitate what he reads in books since he has no experience. this would make it feel like he is putting in effort and it would really highlight his charming clumsy affection. personally, i can really relate and connect to this; when i write romance, i mimic what i read and see in media because i have not experienced it for myself yet. it’s an easy fix but it means so much!

something i noticed is that many people say that, “chevalier never received love/affection from his parents, therefore he has a hard time expressing himself emotionally [we should praise him when he does so].” this is a sound argument, i agree with this, i do think he deserves praise. however, i cannot fully support this statement. he does the bare minimum and people applaud him for it because he has never known love and affection. take leon for example. now i am not comparing leon and chevalier because leon is my favorite, i am using leon’s story to draw this comparison. leon doesn’t know his parents, therefore he never received loved from them. his “adoptive” parents also never had a lot of love to give. it would be accurate to say that he never experienced love and affection. i bring these two points up to compare it to chevalier who also never received love from his parents. this shows that receiving love from one or both parents does not affect their characters here. you could even argue the same with sariel who has little to no memories of his own parents. although i guess you could also argue that the king became his father..

so to sum that all up, his cold nature and his inability to express emotions are not the result of the absence of parental love and affection. so for me, this argument feels like something that’s meant to make you pity chevalier, when the same could be said for leon which isn’t acknowledged at all.

another thing i find interesting is that we have interpreted chevalier’s memorization of the name’s of knights as an emotional thing. chevalier himself expresses it as an obligation as a royal and i just think it’s interesting how he looks at it from a duty standpoint versus our emotional standpoint. because it’s not explicitly stated, one could assume that he doesn’t do for an emotional reason, but rather it’s just his job to honor those that have died for the kingdom in service to the royal family.

something else that i think should be talked about is how chevalier is put on this weird pedestal. he’s always labeled as a genius while the other guys never get praised for their intelligence or accomplishments. it gets tiring to hear “chevalier is a genius” over and over in the game and it doesn’t hold any weight because every brother is quite intelligent. it’s also much more telling than showing.

chevalier and charisma: i have expressed this opinion before and i would like to take this opportunity to explain and defend myself. i think the word authoritative describes him rather than charismatic. authority still implies respect and loyalty. charisma on the other hand is closer to charm and likability. the reason why i disagree with the idea that intelligence equals charisma is because you can be dumb as a box of rocks and still have charisma. there is a reason why people love sweet himbo characters. intelligence isn’t the determining factor here, it’s about how likable you are. charismatic people (with good or bad intentions) make things sound good and inspire loyalty because they are charming, they are likable. not because they are smart. they are able to get people to follow them because they know how to use their charm to play their cards, they don’t need to be a genius to figure it out. if you have to change the definition of charismatic, then he’s most likely not charismatic. chevalier doesn’t try to be likable. he never explains himself and he just does what he deems as necessary, even if it’s not the kindest thing or if the majority doesn’t agree with him. therefore, charismatic is not an accurate description of his character.

this was actually just a long rant and not helpful at all. i don’t think anyone is gonna read all of it anyway. ok im done committing social sui/cide

[ego-sandwich]

OKAY SO, with the new Soulsucker lyrics "out" (from what can be figured out from videos and things people have posted), I think the idea I had of Soulsucker was kind of wrong. But now I have more theories for St*rfucker!!! So I'll share some of them here, but feel free to contribute because sometimes this gets hella confusing!!

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THE PROPERTY is the safe space Awsten built to protect himself from his fears or insecurities, as known as the demons.

THE SOULSUCKER comes from the part of Awsten that doesn’t want to leave his safe space. In order to protect the Property, he will destroy everything that tries to enter it (like in self sabotage when he ends a relationship before it can hurt him). However, that overprotection is also harmful, because that means Awsten won’t try to step out of his comfort zone and confront his demons. Because of that, the Soulsucker is also a demon, something Awsten needs to get rid off in order to leave the Property.

It's been a pleasure (So destroy my world, I'll tape the cracks) – you can try to ruin the property, but he'll protect it

It's nice to meet you ('Cause what you give out's what you get back) – he will destroy whatever tries to harm the property

THE ST*RFUCKER, as mentioned in the song of same title, is the only way out of the Property. If leaving a comfort zone means facing what you’re hiding yourself from, then the St*rfucker is Awsten’s alter that has learned how to face the demons, or is trying to (ex: the lusty lyrics that reject religious guilt).

To be honest, I'm still trying to figure him out, but that's what makes sense in my head for now. We mostly got Soulsucker content, such as Intellectual Property, but the next album/thing will be St*r's perspective supposedly so there's that. Just have to wait a little!

The St*rfucker and Soulsucker hate each other, but it hasn’t always been that way. They were once one, Awsten, but grew apart due to inner his conflicts. Now while Soulsucker wants Awsten safe inside the property, St*r believes he’s better off out of it.

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STORYLINE

We can't really pin point where exactly the story starts, but it was surely presented for us in Greatest Hits. Throughout the dreamy section of the album, we see Awsten talking about the demons and how they haunt him, as well as the presence of another character and the need of being somewhere safe.

I see his fucking face but he's not me - MAGNETIC (hinting Soulsucker)

Driving where no one can catch me Need a place to breathe and the sun is setting - Ice Bath (hinting the property)

Enough time to right my wrongs because I've wronged a lot - Ice Bath, hinting the religious guilt, another reason why he'll be hiding himself in the Property.

I won't quote the whole album, but every song show one of his fears or insecurities if you get deep into the lyrics.

What I think that happened: by the end of Greatest Hits, Awsten builds the Property (and I suppose he built it because all of the worker outfits he's been wearing to shows). The need to keep himself safe originates the Soulsucker, the protector of his safe space. Intellectual Property shows his ways of protecting the Property with destructive behaviours, such as self sabotaging (take a wild guess) or distancing himself from things that could possible hurt him (Closer). His strong prensence, especially on stage, means that he has taken over while Awsten is still inside the property, unable to leave.

St*rfucker originates from the needs of confrontation, facing what it takes to get the things he craves for. Overcoming the demons, facing his religious guilt in order to be able to love, to be loved and enjoy things that his demons wouldn't allow him to. He is the only one who can get Awsten out of the Property, and I believe the next releases from the band will show him trying to do so.

[iamdarkness]

About Lif's material and form.

Ever since I saw Lif for the fist time I could do nothing else but wonder what he was made of. Lately I have seen people wondering about it too and I took this chance to give my opinion. This of course does not in any way undermines anyone else's idea or headcanon. I just want, as I said before, to contribute with my idea and reasons as to why I think it is so. I take as proof other works of fiction as there are no concrete evidence of real activity. At least none that does not look like fake 1800's seance pictures.

First of all I want to say that to me the most obvious material used in Lif and Thrasir's making is Ectoplasm. Why do I think it is obvious? Well it is what ghosts, apparitions and the like are supposedly made up off in other works of fiction.

But what is Ectoplasm in Paranormal Studies? The psychical researcher Gustav Geley defined ectoplasm as being "very variable in appearance, being sometimes vaporous, sometimes a plastic paste, sometimes a bundle of fine threads, or a membrane with swellings or fringes, or a fine fabric-like tissue". Arthur Conan Doyle described ectoplasm as "a viscous, gelatinous substance which appeared to differ from every known form of matter in that it could solidify and be used for material purposes" -Wikipedia

As an example of an entity that has most of these properties in one I present to you :

The spirit of H H Holmes. The famous serial Killer who was haunting the apartment building of the courthouse he was killed on, on the show Supernatural. He demonstrated to be able to be solid enough to kidnap the girls he wanted and he left traces of slime ectoplasm as well as becoming vaporous.

If we take this information that ectoplasm can be solid, gelatinous, viscous, vapor and even crack and break, then we have an explanation of Hel, Thasir and Lif's bodies and why they look different but look to be the same material.

First let us take Hel, and why she appears to be solid enough to crack. Hel has always been this way and has existed for time untold. She is powerful as well and her feelings seemed to be always under control.

Let us take Gozer from Ghostbusters . Ancient and powerful, Gozer can be vaporous and is able to posses humans and is as solid as any living creature. When Gozer is defeated they break as if made of stone. Gozer's resemblance to Hel comes from how old they are and the command they have of their bodies and emotions. They also have always been this way and so they do not have an issue with their physical makeup.

Then we have Thrasir. Thasir is younger than Lif but her life as Veronica has not been as free as Alfonse. Veronica has been possessed so not being herself is nothing new to her. Veronica also seems to be used to suppress her feelings and thoughts. I mean she does look depressed and accepting of whatever fate befalls her when she is Letizia's prisoner. So I feel that her lack of emotional reactions or suppression of them plays a part in this. It feels more like acceptance of her new form and new self in my opinion. For this reason I take that even though she is younger than Alfonse she has more command of her essence than Lif. Still she has not been this way all of her existence so she is solid enough not to "bleed" but not enough to be hard as stone or crystal. As shown on her art. I think their mental state plays a lot on their command on their essence.

And here is where the difference with Lif is. Alfonse of course being a prince has been taught to not show what he really feels. He has restrains as well as parental issues on top of all. The difference with Veronica is that he has at least more freedom and is more of a revel than her. His line in the castle where he tells you that he may not behave as a prince should comes to mind along with the fact that he should not have been part of the Order but still enlisted any way. We see him get angry and sad and react very badly to different situations during the battles. Now imagine what they went through and think of this old saying. " Life is like boiling water. It either hardens you ( like a boiled egg) or it turns you into mush ( like carrots)." Thrasir hardened in that she looks like she is more adapted to being the way she is. She became used to it in a way. Lif though did not and it shows.

Take Slimmer as an example of this.

In the cartoon (Yes I went to watch it when I was little. I'm a geek ok?) Peter asks why Slimmer is the way he is and the explanation was that he was anxious because he wanted to help them but also because he was helping them hunt his own kind. He had the tendency of eating a lot because he wanted to be accepted. He gets be solid enough to eat but turned to slime and vapor as well depending of the need. There was always a pressure on him of not being accepted by Peter and it played a lot on his actions. Guy had existential issues Ok? SO who else has existential issues?

Lif in a way is like this. The artbook mentions his armor is empty but it can not be so even if he was but vapor, because vapor is something to begin with. Also because you can see the change of his ectoplasm from solid to somewhat liquid and vapor. He has also bones and ABS on his ectoplasm body.

And what glorious abs he has. He can Slime me any day he wants

Yeah...just like that.

But I digress. The point is that he gets angry and he looses a little solidity because

The vapor coming out of his mask when he is angry.

And the bleeding of his liquid ectoplasm when he is injured as well when he is protecting Thasir in their Day of Devotion alt is proof that he is a more emotional person than Thrasir and therefore his ectoplasm changes with his mental state. Alfonse seemed to have had self esteem issues to begin with and the physical change seemed only to aggravate them so I believe that he is of course not accepting his situation, not only that his people has died but what he himself looks like and what he has become. I think this was also a part of why he says he can't use the name Alfonse anymore. He does not feel himself anymore so his command of his new body is not always the same.

In conclusion:

He will get flustered when he has a making up cession and someone (preferably me) will get slimmed and maybe not in the good way if you know what I mean ;)

Where was I ? Oh yeah they are made of ectoplasm in my opinion. Now I just need to know why he glows like Hel but Thrasir does not. I feel it is also because of emotions and mental states but who really knows. I like to think that he glows brighter when he "blushes".

[vylad243]

Honestly with the way the Goethals act in general it could be safe to say most of them go down the line of “Anyone I perceive as lower than me I treat like shit” with a few accepting members like Stolas

But speaking of Stolas, if you feel more comfortable going off of what is canon, then maybe the idea could spin off of him? We know him to be respectful and to have enough pull to get meetings with a Sin so it wouldn’t be too far off to say Ozzy asked Stolas to check out the hotel to sponsor it. Maybe during introductions he only bows to Lucifer, the Sins, and Vox and everyone is confused?

Just spitballing with the other anons idea! Whatever you go with will be amazing regardless!

Also just a small question cause I’m curious of what you have planned but how many prompts are you planning on writing/is in your Que? I have like a shit ton of prompts in my inbox and need filtering advice if you’re willing 😭

I am the goddess of fucking around and finding out

I don't mind canon or going off canon. My Alastor and Vox are very ooc after all, but I know the fandom tends to hold Helluva Boss in a higher standard. I never really liked it that much. I've watched it- but I'm Striker. Why does everything gotta be a sex thing? The two season finales were my favourite of Helluva Boss, which ironically included little to no Stolas

I could definitely see Stella and her brother treating the sinners and overlords are faith on their shoes while Stolas and Octavia hold the sins and Vox in higher regard

Ozzie would definitely be pulling the strings to get Stolas to visit the Hazbin Hotel if I go that route.

I like working off of your guy's ideas. It's very fun and helps me world build 🙏

~~~~~~

Ahahaha my ask box is also full of different prompts. I have omega-verse, the Vee's joining the battle, and injured Alastor are three I can name off the top of my head (because I'm writing them right now) but I think I have like 10 or 11 in there. One is also a beauty and the beast ay which I'm mulling over

As for how I filter them out- prompts are things I want to be able to enjoy writing. Some of my prompts have been quite large- and while I don't mind the large ones, it gives me a lot less freedom with them because I feel like I have to rewrite a whole story that was just in the my box. I never deleted any, though. I just put them in their in tag just in case I feel like writing them later- but ones I am writing right now/want to write sit in my box so I can shuffle through them. It keeps it organized

I haven't encountered any rude people yet- so I haven't had to reject anyone for demanding things from me (which like I'm always ready for a debate on the internet, I find them funny) and with how nice everyone is, I usually feel bad for denying them. It's way I take so long to deny people. I want to make sure this is actually something I don't plan on writing in the near future

My way to filter out prompts is

- I need creative freedom to write so I don't feel miserable writing. This is one of the main ones. My brain is very hectic and I find myself tapping out if I can't bring my own ideas to the table. It's also why none of my works are exactly like the prompts im given

- I have enough context to write a fic on it

- I would actually enjoy writing it

- it's a world/au I'm aware of or contributed to. Nothing is worse than being handed a fully built universe and being asked to write for it with little to no explanation on how the universe works

- the people are nice to me.

- I know I make a few jokes here and there, but I like to keep in mind that I'm making free work for people. I'm not being paid to do this, and people aren't paying me to write out the prompts. I love writing fanfiction and it's a great hobby, but if you're genuinely just not interested in doing something- you don't have too. Writing it meant to be fun and inspiration is a fickle thing. You don't want to push it too hard or it's going to shove back. I've learnt that the hard way

- bonus way to do it- sometimes people leave comments, and I find them funny, and I get creative with them. I censored a whole chapter of month in rut because someone told me to let the characters swear. I'm also a very petty person

This is just personal, but I keep my prompts 1k-3.5k words just so it's decently sized, but not overly large

Hope this helps!

[rpatersonblog]

Healthy Boundaries

THE IMPORTANCE OF SETTING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

Everyone has a personal line whether they are intentionally set or not and the act of setting boundaries with yourself and others is to keep you safe and feeling secure within your own mind and space from other’s opinions, ideas, and actions but also to protect others from your opinions, ideas and actions as well. 

It builds trust and strengthens bonds. 

Mutual respect. Now that you’re honest and open about your needs you’ve learned to be considerate of others as well. The trust that you have with other people who respect your boundaries and trusting and respecting yourself: to learn consideration for others’ boundaries and that you are able to stand your ground even if it was difficult at first.

Setting boundaries will help you find out more about yourself (or make clear the things you already knew but pushed aside for others needs), what makes you comfortable, the do’s and don'ts, etc. 

Feelings of being free and relieved will be recurring emotions. How exciting is that? You’re finally putting yourself first and it will never not feel amazing.

Gaining confidence and overcoming social anxiety. 

It reveals those who have never fully respected you. Those who benefit from your lack of boundaries.

WHERE AND HOW TO BEGIN

Take a step back and analyze where you’re at in life; in terms of your day to day emotions. Are you content with how you handle yourself? Are there specific times in which you find yourself saying “I should have said no.” or “I really should’ve done abc instead of xyz.” 

Take your time! This isn’t something you should rush into. Start off slow and small and as time goes by, you’ll find more ideas and come across a bridge of events that can make a light bulb go off and go “ah, i should really work on this as well.”

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself: am I prioritizing others' needs more than my own? What are some things i could do differently that will make me feel better about myself? Why do i constantly worry about what others think about me? Does it truly matter? Do i care about my safety and peace? Do my actions contribute to that care?

[crystalelemental]

It is finally over. After all this time, I have finally finished Class of Heroes 2. 100% of all quests are completed. It's finally...finally over.

Compared to Class of Heroes 1, this game is such a substantial upgrade it's almost unreal. The majority of the game feels incredibly well balanced, and I feel like you could reasonably achieve victory with just about any (balanced) team composition. For my part, I went with Bahamoon, Felpurr, Celestia, Human, Elf, and Gnome. All six were in their personalized classes.

Bahamoon's Dragon Knight is a great tank, but has little else going for it. I never felt like damage was all that impressive, and their spells are uninspiring. At least they can heal, including the ever-essential revive.

Felpurr's Beast was kinda whatever early game, then reached the point we got Diamond Knuckles on both hands and was swinging for the best damage any party member could manage. They were excellent, loved them. Fell off exceptionally hard in post-game.

Celestia's Fallen Angel is about the shittiest thing I can think of. No seriously, they suck. Their claim to fame is having magic, but their damage output on spells is inconsequential, and none of their weapons excel. I get the idea of instant death on their weapons, so there's a stretch of time where it vaguely matters, but I was not particularly impressed due to their frontline nature, low HP for such a role, and limited capacity to contribute meaningfully to the team without a good pre-promote class choice (Mage for Revive, Ninja for Defense boosting skills).

Human's Gunner was really good, mostly because inherent insta-kill off of Gun attacks, and being the only promote with Thief abilities. They're downright essential, I cannot imagine trying to build a party without one. Their attacks weren't particularly strong until postgame, though, when we came across a stupid powerful gun that hit three times as opposed to the one, resulting in a massive damage jump that put them over Beast.

Elf's Summoner is, without question, the most essential class in the game. If you are not running a Summoner, you are not clearing post-game, I think. Like, you can beat 95% of the game without them I'm sure, I basically did because I forgot I had summons as an option, but holy shit. Seraph on the female Elf feels downright essential. I'm talking one-shotting the bosses with little issue, and being the only thing reliably taking out dragons near endgame. You should always, ALWAYS have a summon up, and frankly, it's the only reason I could beat the true postgame. Those final few bosses took like nothing from our entire party and healed more damage than we could deal. Seraph was the only one contributing, the rest of the party was just a mad dash to not die as a game over condition. It's that absurd. My only gripe is that when you summon, its HP value is random and wildly different. At the same level, one call got 1500, another got 4500. It's a massive difference.

Gnome's Alchemist...is fine? The ability to perform Alchemy free of cost is something, but truth be told, it's not hard to farm out gold when you really need to, so I personally don't see them as particularly valuable. Combined with a terrible early game due to lack of direct Mage access and few options besides, and absolutely pathetic base HP that results in them getting one-shot from mid-game on by anything that looks at it funny, Gnome is just a terrible pick.

Dwarf's Berserker is a class I didn't use, but if and when I play this game again, I will. I actually kinda like Dwarf, just conceptually, and the Berserker feels like something that can potentially dish out funny haha numbers. I do think Dwarf will have tremendous accuracy issues though, which is why Beast won out. But they're likely an excellent frontline tank, similar to Dragon Knight, but without the revive capabilities.

Diabolos' Necromancer...confuses me. I can't tell if I have to actually capture the souls or if it's just normal spells. It might be incredibly good, but I'm not convinced. I dunno, nothing about it appealed, which is sad because Diabolos Puppeteer is one of the cutest designs.

Fairy's Sage feels decent but uninteresting. It's main claim to fame is MP recovery while walking, which would let it be a more persistent healer, but if I recall correctly, Fairy is low HP growth, and spells just don't significantly hold up. The regular type of spell, anyway. So Fairy feels unimpressive.

Khulaz' Geomancer is the one I most wanted to run a while into the game due to Gnome underperforming. Khulaz has a few things of interest. One: unique single-target spells that might actually deal damage, and that pack potential status effects for disruption. Two: Actual HP growth. Three: Passives that boost drop rate, and in postgame, will boost EXP and money yields. Khulaz feels potentially life-changing, given how many enemies have really low drop chances for T4 and T5 materials.

Now, all that in mind...the game is not exactly...good.

Exploration is brutal. I was wondering all through CoH1 when they'd do the bullshit trap combination of "Deep" and "Antimagic," to cause everyone that doesn't innately float to immediately die. It turns out, CoH2 does this almost immediately, and then persistently does it in every zone like all the time. It turns out, this is a centralizing effect, that results in every grounded ally needing to give up an accessory slot entirely just to not fucking die and stay dead every step through these traps. It is an absolutely bullshit effect.

Despite Mapor being massively upgraded to give you essentially a regular map, antimagic still dispels it and renders it useless, and is too prevalent to be of significant use.

Your inventory caps at 100. This is only a problem because you can save in the dungeon, return to title, then load up in town where you can sell and store items, then return to the dungeon where you left off. Which is...free. "Isn't that good?" No, you have to do it so often. And if the mechanic can be so easily subverted, why does it exist at all?

Dungeons frankly go on longer than you'd want them to, and have certain sections that are just way too annoying to me. It really overstays its welcome. Teleport can simplify a bit, but that costs MP, so early game is just a ton of trekking through nonsense.

Most bosses aren't that scary. I didn't experience a threat from a boss until the final three. Prior to that, they were all easily handled, but god help you if you find a decently sized squad of tough randos.

Stats going down on level is still a very real, very obnoxious thing. HP values do not go up that well for most, to the point postgame bosses will one-shot anyone regardless. Apparently, to make matters hilariously worse, the one good space to level grind later game? You can get hit with -2 levels. I just. I can't with this game sometimes.

Mechanically, the game is just still too messy to be truly good. But unlike the first game, equipment actually progresses at a linear pace, and you feel like you're playing a game. In addition, you have tools that are so hilariously overpowered that it's gamebreaking in your favor. I think these changes make it a more sound experience, and one that I think is worth pursuing overall. But I do think postgame is a mess. That's common for a lot of games, though.

On the whole, CoH2 earns a "decent, might replay, but didn't love it as much as I'd hoped."

I don't know what I'm going to play next, but truth be told, my wife's been playing Rune Factory 5, so it might be that. It seems cute, and I am very attached to this kind of micromanagement.

[strandnreyes]

more from the post-war fic

“I need a job,” TK declares as he greets Carlos in the kitchen. 

The other man is already dressed in his overalls for work and TK immediately wants to get him out of them, but he refrains, focusing on the thoughts that have been rattling around his mind for a while now. 

If he’s going to stay here, he wants to contribute, and even then he needs an income for expenses beyond groceries and bills. TK is still living off of the few items he brought from New York and eventually he’s going to want more clothes and a new toothbrush. He wants to feel like he’s physically building a life here, putting down roots.  

Carlos sets his cup of coffee down, swallowing his sip before laughing slightly in amusement at TK’s entrance. 

“Good morning to you, too,” he smiles.

TK’s shoulders slump, a sheepish smile creeping onto his face as he crosses the distance and kisses Carlos. “Good morning,” he greets, cupping Carlos’ face and looking him in the eye before repeating, “I need a job.”

TK lets Carlos go when reaches for a mug, giving him time to think over potential options as he pours another cup of coffee. He slides it on the counter to TK before moving to the fridge to get the milk. 

“You used to do work for magazines, right?” Carlos asks. 

“I did,” TK confirms, cradling the mug in his hands as Carlos adds just the right amount of milk. “No offense to Texas, but there was a bit more of a market for that in New York.”

“Fair,” Carlos laughs, “but what about working for a newspaper instead?”

TK considers the suggestion, finding he isn’t all that opposed to it. There likely would be something different to capture every day, keeping him from getting restless, and it would help him explore the new city he now calls home. He might even get perks, he thinks, smiling at the thought of possibly taking Carlos to a baseball game instead of watching him read the stats the next morning.

“That’s not a bad idea,” he smiles and then clears his throat, a little more solemnly adding, “I was at Austin American-Statesman last week actually.”

Carlos’ brow furrows. “For what?”

TK taps the counter and then looks up at Carlos with a sad smile. “Looking for your obituary.”

“What?” Carlos asks, his face contorting into a distressed frown 

TK takes a breath and then whispers, “I had to be sure.” He swallows hard. “After I found out about the fire I— I had to be sure that you...”

Carlos abandons his coffee and then carefully plucks TK’s from his hands too before pulling him into a tight hug. “Baby,” he exhales. “I’m sorry you had to do that. Even if you didn’t find anything, the thought alone is awful.”

TK hums, pressing his nose harder into Carlos’ neck, right over his pulse. “Not my favorite day.”

Carlos kisses his temple and then holds him for a second longer before slowly letting him go. He doesn’t let him get far though, smiling softly and steering the conversation back to the present. “Do you have any of your work with you?”

TK nods. “I have a few of my shots from before the war. Some photos from out west and then a couple that were published in Time.”

“Time?” Carlos asks, clearly impressed.

“Mh hm,” TK shrugs, but it’s hard not to smile when Carlos is looking at him in admiration. 

“You could take a few with you,” he suggests. 

“Like a portfolio,” TK says and Carlos nods. 

“The Austin newspaper is no Time magazine, they’d be stupid to pass up a talent like yours,” he says easily and TK bites his lip, a smile breaking free a second later.

“Okay,” TK decides. “I think I should.” 

“I think so, too.” Carlos smiles back and then tilts his head in consideration. “Actually… I have something you could borrow. Stay right here,” he says, planting a kiss on TK’s cheek before ducking out of the room. 

When he returns, it’s with a brown, leather briefcase in his hands. He sets in on the counter in front of TK. “I got it for my interview with Paul,” he explains, laughing slightly. “I was completely overdressed.”

TK smiles at the endearing thought and then looks away from Carlos, picking up the briefcase and testing the feel of the leather strap in his hand. “Thank you,” he says earnestly.

“Of course,” Carlos responds effortlessly. He waits while TK undoes the latch, peering inside at the different pockets, and when the briefcase is shut again, he says, “You’ve been holding out on me. Show me these photos that landed you in one of the most famous magazines.”

[merge-conflict]

counterpoint

cyberhanami day 5: "Words That We Couldn't Say"

content warning: a dash of internal homophobia

Johnny Silverhand/Kerry Eurodyne

summary: Johnny is working on some new material.

-----

When people said That’s our song! they meant it like it was something tangible, one single theme symbolizing love and devotion and whatever other corny romantic shit they could think of. Like the essence of the thing could be covered by just one song that they could dance to when it came on the radio. Like it was something anyone else could hear and understand. Like it was something someone else could sing.

The thing with Kerry was he wrote songs. They both did. Someone else’s song wasn’t going to cut it. But their catalog didn’t exactly lend itself to the kind of feelings you could build anything on– not that their relationship was like that, which was to say it wasn’t anything like what he had with Rogue (had had with Rogue). Not that Rogue was the kind of chick who was remotely interested in having a song– he could only imagine what she would have said if he had ever suggested it. Called him a self-interested narcissistic rockerboy, probably.

“I was thinking about a new piece,” Johnny said. “Something instrumental.”

“Instrumental?” Kerry repeated, brow furrowing as he finished the last stroke of black polish on Johnny’s thumb. He refreshed the brush to start on the index finger, the polish cool and heavy. “Not really your style.”

“My style is whatever I say it is,” Johnny replied, irritated. “You’re the one always saying we should shake things up.”

“Shake things up, sure, but instrumental–“ Kerry trailed off thoughtfully, but then his expression soured, lips pursed in a frown. “You never listen to a damn thing I suggest, so why’s this coming up all of a sudden?”

“Jesus, forget it.” Johnny almost tugged his hand away, but he could never get it to look decent when he did it himself. “What’s got you so pissy?”

“For fuck’s sake, I’m not pissy, I’m just asking a question.” Kerry sighed as he wiped away at the thin line of polish he’d gotten onto Johnny’s fingertip. “Fine. Let’s do it.”

“Don’t strain yourself with enthusiasm.”

“Fuck you.” Kerry’s response was reflexive, like punctuation.

He finished the pinky nail– smooth and steady on the final pass, and after he’d taken a moment to admire his work he released Johnny’s hand. Kerry’s own nails were starting to chip, but he did his himself, or else Denny helped. Johnny’s contribution to his wardrobe started and ended with the pair of leather pants hanging a little loose around his hips.

“What have you got so far?” Kerry asked, rising from his chair just long enough to find his guitar and settle back down with it in his lap. Johnny wiggled his freshly painted fingers. “Oh, right, well you can play it for me when they’re dry. But you gotta give me something to work with.”

“Been tooling around with a melody,” he said, rearranging himself more comfortably with his boots up on the table now that his hand was free. “It needs some sort of counter melody though– I was thinking of a sort of a give and take between them. Like a struggle.”

“Or a battle,” Kerry said, interest piqued. He picked out a few notes while he chewed on the idea, which melded into the infamous Charge! melody. His smile was subtle, but the eagerness in his dark eyes gave him away.

“Yeah,” Johnny said. “Kind of like a battle.”

“Good and evil,” Kerry suggested. “The underdog comes out on top at the end.”

Johnny opened his mouth and then shut it. “Yeah,” he said, picking at the edge of one cuticle with his thumbnail and smudging the polish. “A classic.”

[bashfulgnome]

10 Years of Wrecking, Week 5 – Overflow

10 Years of Wrecking

Week 5 (Nov. 26 - Dec. 2): Free Week

My friend @cr1ms0nlord shared some lovely art with me and asked if I could write a fic based on the same concept (thanks for the idea buddy!). Well, what better time to release it than on the final day of 10 Years of Wrecking?

The fic is under the cut, but I would also like to thank everyone who participated in this month-long celebration and shared their WIR art, stories, and thoughts with the fandom for the anniversary. I'll continue reblogging any more contributions that I've missed and you're free to keep creating whenever you'd like (believe me, I take a really long time to make fanworks) but a big thank you to all participants and all of my wonderful friends I've made in this fandom. You've made these past 10 years amazing and I'm so glad we've met and bonded over this awesome movie. I hope to have many more good times with you all in the future!

She'd just about finished her ramen, but he hadn’t even noticed. 

The cool early-evening breeze in the shady outdoor patio ruffled the awnings of the shops and hotels along the main street in Extreme EZ Livin' 2. Felix had told her when she met up with him that it might be a little chilly, and insisted on lending her one of his shirts for an extra layer over her tank top just in case. The little button-down uniform wasn't exactly a comfortable fit, but the thought alone warmed her up just fine. It was pretty cute that he’d forgotten the height difference, too.

Tamora watched Felix struggling with the noodles, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, clearly unaccustomed to this kind of utensil. The chopsticks were smooth and free of splinters (a testament to the quality of the restaurant) but this didn't exactly help him grip his food. He'd spent the entire meal trying to make sure everything went perfectly. She was accustomed to chaos and disappointment–surely nothing could've SNAFU'd a lunch date that badly–but he seemed hyperfocused on making sure he didn't spill anything, or splash any hot broth, or make any noises.

Watching his consideration in overdrive merged affection and pity, how he cared about doing his best for her so much that he suppressed his little quirks and nervous habits. Not that it could've have been possible for him to even do anything in this situation that would drive her off; even when Felix was completely out of his element he always meant well.

It was something that attracted her to him, that even this early on in their relationship he tried so hard and valued what they had started building so much, but she couldn't help feeling that she was killing him somehow. Sprites passing through Game Central and hiding fearful glances, making a hole at her approach...did he sometimes see her that way too? Was he just better at hiding it?

If she stayed too long, would she erode what made him...him? The sweetness, patience, loyalty–how could he stay in one piece? He was used to such a simple life; how could she be anything other than too much? 

Tamora felt her own grip on her wrist tighten. The thought that eventually he'd be disappointed–or worse, hurt–if he got into this any deeper...burned and scratched inside her head. Just looking at him, a tenderness welled inside her chest that compelled her to keep Felix safe, to make sure his happiness wasn't wasted. She couldn't deny her own feelings for him of course, but he'd fallen hard and fast, riding higher than a past-midnight BurgerTime customer. Whatever image he had of her would have to shatter under its own weight eventually, in spite of them both. 

And still, what she’d been through tore at the scars whenever they had started to close, the cuts even deeper with the knowledge that it technically wasn't "real", never had been. That barrier was invisible but solid as any boundary at the edge of the map. It amazed her that the warmth he radiated was even able to pass through that wall, or that she'd turned out to be capable of sending any of her own back out towards him.

Maybe she was healing, the wounds opening less often and closing a little more tightly and quickly each time. Whether it was at his expense she couldn't tell.

Chancing a peek over at Felix, she noticed his cheeks had flushed from the heat of the dish. He lifted his head from the bowl, looked around, and made eye contact with her as he became reacquainted with his surroundings. 

"Still hot?"

His face went blank for a moment before he answered with a delayed startle.

"Oh yes ma'am...the ramen! The ramen's still pipin' hot! Had to take a break or I would've steamed my face right off!"

The corners of her mouth quirked into an unguarded smile. She could listen to that voice read a technical manual.

In a fit of nervous laughter Felix glanced back down at his chopsticks, still awkwardly adorned with a tangle of ramen–the broth dripping onto the table and his pants. Panicked, he took one bite and inhaled, pulling the noodles in with a loud, unintended slurp that bugged his eyes out in surprise.

Something in her chest twisted itself loose. Before she could think, a gale of laughter blew out from deep inside her. She leaned her forehead into one hand and gripped the table with the other, the crashing double-wave of that goofy visual and sound pummeling her previous train of thought and knocking her off balance.

Felix scrambled for a clump of napkins to dry his face and table before that...beautiful sound pealed in his ears. He'd heard chuckles and snorts from Tamora before, but never this lovely outburst of uninhibited happiness.

He reached out a hand to clasp over hers in affection and felt the tickle of an oncoming laugh himself. Unfortunately, he didn't make it past a sharp breath before being immediately reminded that all the spice had settled into that last mouthful of his meal.

“Tha-haaaaat” he wheezed, “wa-haaas a mistake!”

His violent coughs finally shook her out of her laughing fit as she watched him down the rest of his drink in one shot.

"Felix..." she panted, "I-I'm so sorry, the…! The sound just–I couldn't help it, are you okay?"

"Whew…oh my land… I'm just dandy! Nothing a cold drink couldn't wash down. 'M sorry I made such a mess–"

"Don't be. Haven't laughed like that in ages." 

She put a hand across his back, letting it linger on its way, and leaned in to kiss him on the nose. Felix didn't bend, or break, or recoil. He just laid his hand atop hers on his shoulder, and leaned into her with an even redder face and contented sigh.

"I'm glad I got to hear it, Tammy."

It was such a sincere response that she couldn't bring herself to hold eye contact.

"Y'know, next time don't fuss so much. You're gonna need to save that stress for everything else I put you through."

"I'm not jokin', you have a wonderful laugh. I wanna make you do that more often."

"I'm not joking either."

Felix paused. He looked around again and lowered his voice to just above a whisper.

"This isn't about dinner, is it?" He fidgeted with his hammer, running his thumb over the head’s curve. "I know I've been a bit jumpy lately but...I just don't wanna step on any toes. You don't have to tell me anythin' if you don't want to, but I won't be goin' anywhere if you do either. I can handle it, I promise."

Tamora pulled him a little closer.

She'd eaten the stalest crackers and ugliest MREs the service had to offer, but he cooked homemade soup, chili, and pies for her anyway.

She'd show up at her game’s exit covered in blood and grime from work and gotten into some brutal fistfights, but he still politely took off his hat and kissed her hands anyway.

She'd learned to manage the lingering mental scars and nightmares, but he did his best to understand and take care of whatever he could to put her at ease anyway.

Felix may have been a lover rather than a fighter, but if he was tough enough to stay by her side...well, maybe she didn't have anything to be afraid of. All those things Tamora loved about him weren't just painted on. She couldn't wear away something that filled him from the inside out, not any more than he could ever take away the fire that'd forged her relentless spirit in everything she undertook. He'd only ever stoked it.

"I'll take that chance if you will," she finally replied with a smile. "Maybe I can return the favor."

He kissed her knuckles and gazed up into her eyes with that entranced look that always settled across his features in moments like these.

"You already have..."

That settled it. He wasn't about to be one more thing that her past would take away from her.

—

Tagging some of my WIR buddies: @ask-icancraft-it @ashleybenlove @sgtcalhouns @coneygoil @kittysfigurines24 @fix-it-feesh @sadboy-tristan @make-it-mavis @datamining-your-heart @scarfboyxiv @wirridrs @doodlexx

Let me know if you would like your name added to the tags for future fics!