Tumgik
#feeling really emotional after greywaren
ravenclawboys · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
did anyone else start reading the raven cycle when they were twelve and it was just the raven boys and then go through their entire teenage years marking time by the release of each new book, constantly online talking about blue, gansey, adam, ronan, noah, glendower, and space-time fuckery, drawing art here and writing stories and making theories here and making friends here, then getting the dreamer trilogy in their early twenties as their own world starts to shift dramatically in time with the characters, only to get to the final epilogue and start sobbing here, at this line?
because yes being a teenager sucked and this book series made it better. it made it so very much better. and we will all always love, love this group of friends because we feel like we are a part of it, but them growing up and recognizing how something more both gives and takes is so important to me. they're all moving on to relatively normal adult lives and somehow that means i can, too.
excelsior.
140 notes · View notes
one-squash-one-end · 17 days
Text
I wrote a giant Raven Cycle analysis
Hi! Over the last year or so I've been working on a sort of essay about various themes in the raven cycle series, and I finally finished it a few weeks ago.
It is titled: "Why I love The Raven Cycle - An excessive analysis of the themes of friendship, queerness and growing up".
And since tumblr loves its meta (and bc I love peer validation) I've decided to start uploading it bit by bit here, making this the masterpost (if I can figure out the logistics of the linking lmao, bear with me)
(beware of spoilers up to greywaren starting at like 3b!)
Introduction
What even is the Raven Cycle?
Trust me, the characters are queer as fuck and I can prove it a) Blue Sargent b) Gansey c) Adam Parrish d) Ronan Lynch e) Noah f) Henry Cheng g) Honorary mentions
The Gangsey is a polycule
Analyzing the reoccurring themes a) Friendship b) Being a teen/growing up c) (Found) Family d) Magic (as a metaphor) e) Further themes I appreciate
Drawing a conclusion
Click here to start with the introductory parts!
1. Introduction
So here’s the thing: I love fiction almost as much as I love my friends. There’s something deeply comforting about the escapism, even if the book actually makes me want to scream and throw it on the floor (only one book has been thrown so far, I promise!).  Fiction is a healthy thing to occupy my thoughts with: headcanons! Quotes being on loop in my brain! Just fandoms!
And for me, if I am hooked on a book (series), it does not even need a good plot where a lot of things happen. In fact, I would say that my enjoyment of a book is made up of 30% plot and about 70% characters and vibes. If the characters are bland, if they do not make me feel much emotion, it likely won’t be more than 4 stars (additional info: I am way too nice rating books!). I really, really need to love the characters, to be able to relate to some aspects of them, or it just won’t become an obsession.
Since I have already started explaining that a bit, let’s look at this question: What is important to make a book special to me? 1. I need to cry reading it. 2. I have to think about it often, even weeks to months after having read it. 3. Obviously, I need to love the characters. 4. I need to be in the fandom! This can be hard with some books, but the internet is a whimsical space allowing you to find at least a small number of people who are obsessed with a work of fiction to a similar extent as you are.
Now, why am I elaborating on this so much? It’s because The Raven Cycle did all that for me. It is my favorite comfort book series at the moment, for all those aspects mentioned, but of course I cannot just leave it at that. No, I wrote a whole-ass analysis on headcanons and some of its themes. You’re welcome.
2. What even is The Raven Cycle?
The Raven Cycle is all I adore and live for (next to my friends). So, naturally, it’s a book series, specifically a four book young adult contemporary fantasy series by American author Maggie Stiefvater. The books in question are: The Raven Boys (2012), The Dream Thieves (2013), Blue Lily, Lily Blue (2014) and The Raven King (2016), and yes I will admit that the publishing dates are a bit of a red flag. There is also the very relevant follow-up series called The Dreamer Trilogy (Call Down The Hawk, Mister Impossible, Greywaren), but it’s a lot less easy to get into that here as I do not know these entire books by heart, so I’ll stick to the original tetralogy here.
To stick to red flags, the books are set in the fictional Henrietta, a rural town in non-fictional Virginia, US, in the 2010s. However, that doesn’t really say *that* much about the plot, so let me summarize that really quick, because I can do better than the official synopsis! (Or let’s pretend I can.)
Blue Sargent comes from a family of psychics, yet she does not have any powers of her own. Even worse, she is a bit of an amplifier for the others, meaning she is always somehow but never directly involved in the business. As if that isn’t enough for an identity crisis, every psychic she has ever met has told her that her kiss would kill her true love. Yikes.
But because she is that amplifier, she comes to a church watch on St. Mark’s Eve, where psychics see the spirits of those to die within the following year. It’s important business, but to her it’s really just staring into the dark. Until she does actually see a spirit: That of Gansey. Of course this is not a coincidence. No, to add to this teen’s mount of problems, there are only two reasons why a non-seer would see someone’s spirit: They are their true love, or they killed them. Or, in Blue’s case, maybe both.
The aforementioned Gansey is Henrietta’s Golden Boy, the son of politicians (read: he’s fucking loaded). He does not run with the Republicans though, he runs with dead Welsh kings, meaning he has been searching for the probably dead, presumably sleeping Welsh king Glendower (*1350; †1416; yikes) for the past like seven years. Why the fuck would he do that? Well, legend says that he will grant a wish to whoever wakes him, and our favorite PTSD-ridden guy really wants that favor.
Aiding him are fellow Aglionby students Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch and Noah Czerny, plus Henry Cheng, though only a lot later in the series, but I really did not want to leave out that menace (affectionately) here. The paths of Blue and the boys cross because of Gansey’s search for Glendower, plus the fact that Blue works at a popular pizza place, but that’s a lot less whimsical. And, well, there’s the implication that Gansey might also be her true love, but perhaps she just kills him because of his bad fashion sense, it would be justified. Anyway, in true Famous Five fashion (Ronan is the dog; I won’t elaborate, the girls that get it, get it) they are of course not the only ones searching for the king, so it’s not completely a wholesome friend bonding activity all the way through.
Be prepared for: friendship and growing up, lots of treasure hunting, family mysteries, magical forests, illegal and slightly distasteful activities (our favorite of course), but most of all, heavily queer-coded (or even canonically queer) characters. Be Gay, Do Crime.
70 notes · View notes
squash1 · 1 year
Note
pynch was literally my favorite couple of all time but I really think (not even on purpose) maggie destroyed their relationship post cdth...like it became unhealthy in a way that never got addressed
Tumblr media
i disagree so much and here’s why:
trc adam & ronan are teenagers. and they act like teenagers. they have incredible emotional intimacy for their age but they are still just kids who are not completely honest about everything & don’t really have to face deep problems within their relationship (the problems are usually external). there’s a lot more ease to relationships that exist in one place at a time when both people are at the exact same stage in their life which is trc ronan & adam. i think dreamer trilogy ronan & adam show the complexities of a relationship that has existed over a long period of time as the people in the relationship change.
cdth is the beginning of a new portion of ronan & adams dynamic because it’s the first time they aren’t tied together by place (same school, same town, same friends). adam goes to harvard and ronan is left at the barns, partially by choice and partially because he can’t really leave bc of his dreaming (mental illness coded). the dreamer trilogy is ultimately about ronan lynch more than adam, although ronan isn’t ronan without adam, and so we really see ronan’s struggle to find who he is in a context that is removed from adam and the rest of his friends. the dreamer trilogy is a portrait of what it means to move from being a teenager to being an adult and that includes the changes a romantic relationship undergoes through that transition.
mister impossible ronan & adam are not functional even though they still love and care for each other. this is mainly because ronan is lost and has chosen a path to being “found” that isn’t real or productive. but he has to figure that out. what ronan goes through in mi — distancing himself from friends and family, searching for people “like him,” and feeling ultimately just lonely all the time — was a necessary journey for him. the whole time adam is trying. and ronan is trying too. but they just aren’t in the same place but that doesn’t make their relationship bad, it makes it real. and then in greywaren, ronan is able to have a literal break from the world and work through his issues and realize what’s important and who he is and what he needs. and adam does the same thing — reevaluating his priorities and his future. they both are learning how to be truthful with themselves first, and then with each other. greywaren is the ultimate reckoning. and i can never ever say that ronan & adams relationship was destroyed after cdth because in greywaren we get this:
Tumblr media
and if that’s not the definition of love, of finding your way back to each other, of unconditionally holding another person up, i don’t know what is.
232 notes · View notes
ganseyenthusiast · 1 year
Text
anyways since the theme of post-TRK seems to be that every single character ignores any development they had and gets worse, I'm listing everything out here + with a rating of how likely I, the authority of everything ever, think it was. greywaren spoilers obviously
1. Declan: Decides Dad was good all along, disregards real actual emotional abuse and parentification as "misremembering" how great Niall was. 6/10. CDTHEU Declan is a very different character to TRK Declan, I still think he's been too self aware throughout to suddenly walk it back THIS severely. I predict a severe breakdown for him age 30 since I've never witnessed someone do Denial as their last stage of grief.. it’s gonna be explosive
2. Ronan: Disregards his family for the majority of his arc, is worse to them than in TRC. does not call gansey for months. finds a new FP instead of a therapist. emotionally worse off. does find himself via terrorism I guess? 9/10. pretty on brand for Ronan to go scorched earth and suffer zero consequences. I do wish he was made aware of his birth circumstances and displayed the same love/grief for aurora/niall that he's shown in every book except greywaren. are you telling me he can look at the New Fenian and be OKAY?????
3. Adam: ‘Reinvents’ himself, suffers, lies, suffers again. Does not call gansey. Suffers in the VoidSpace, apparently with no lasting consequences. becomes a narc. 7/10. I was hoping for a more self aware adam post TRK but him choosing to pull a Henry Cheng is also pretty on brand. wish he'd actually broken up with Ronan for at least a week. him becoming a narc is unfortunately pretty accurate to character but government jobs are not famously well paying so it really does feel random? the only thing he’s done that’s close to sleuthing is inventing pedo murder charges for his teacher/keeping with the bryde stuff. plus he's still not utilizing his magic skill so this just feels like a continuation of the Harvard arc for the rest of his life which is REALLY baffling when u compare how many times TRK insists he's a magician and will remain a magician/psychic despite everything. seems he's growing MORE disconnected with himself. i’m all for negative development but it’s really being framed as a happy ending which is baffling ngl
4. Gansey: has a sociology degree + is only associated with blue (and nobody else) in the 4-5 years since TRK. Completely reversed his stance on henrietta being home, on "I'd take all of you anywhere with me", on his dedication to history/archeology. does not seem too concerned about Ronan going insane, still odd despite the time he's had to get used to it. 5/10. horrible representation of gansey but I DO like that he's focusing on himself instead of raising pynch. as i say this i remember the ring thing and grit my teeth. complete ignorance of Henry AFTER his whole "friends forever and ewer" TRK thing gives me a good playground to make things worse so I like it but it's definitely weird. how did being a teenager specifically suck for you king because I think Being Dead trauma is unrelated to age
5. Matthew: nearly found independence + love in the abrasive way that lynches give it, then was disregarded emotionally and still not given an apology for the Everything from declan. 8/10. extremely on brand for the lynches to not hold each other accountable. Matthew seems to have improved somewhat + Declan is less overbearing about him, so I like it, I'll take it
6. Henry: went into Seondeok's black market low level mob business, got divorced?, does not speak to bluesey. 10/10. it’s so bad. absolutely off brand for the entire theme of him rejecting the Orders his mother who Literally Forced him to come to henrietta gave him (did not begin this game looking for a friend etc). refutes the entire "find your own something more" theme, refutes the "three of us" theme, refutes the "im going to make something great" motives. and I love it. TRULY my worst ending for Henry is becoming yet another fairy market nepotism casualty. he will Literally never escape and it’s FANTASTIC it is so much fun. Ha Ha You Have Become Your Mother
7. Fenian/Mor: live at the fucking barns now. 1/10. you are telling me a series whose entire THING is based on growing up/overcoming grief/moving on ends with THE FUCKING LYNCH FAMILY BACK AT THE BARNS?????????? WHAT THE HELL???? WHY IS EVERYONE OKAY WITH ANY OF THIS??????????????????????????????????????????????????
207 notes · View notes
nibblette · 27 days
Text
Tumblr media
My Favorite Pynch fics
Inspired by @kelliealtogether, 10 of my favorite TRC/Pynch fics (and some honorable mentions) for TRC making it to 10,000 fics posted on Ao3. I didn’t realize until I made the list how many BDSM Pynch fics I really knew and loved. So be warned, lol.
1. Like @kelliealtogether my favorite pynch fic of all time is “we all fill up with time”
by Interropunct. Such great writing and emotions! The BDSM scenes are so creative and well written, just amazingly constructed! And hotttttt!!!Consent is emphasized! Ronan lives in a named building (the Brownstone) with Chainsaw the chicken in NYC! Adam has made it as a big shot lawyer with the dustless modern apartment, with its secret bedroom full of plants! Gansey, Ronan and Noah have a super strong friendship bond! Highly recommend this fic!
2. Another Interropunct fic, the SW AU, “The kids aren’t alright.
Part 1 is “blessed be the boys” is young SW Adam’s POV where Ronan becomes his main client. Part 2 is “put your curse in reverse” from client Ronan’s POV. The writing is just so great and I marvel that Interropunct published these fics in 2015 before The Raven King even came out. The morphing of Adam’s and Ronan’s relationship from anonymous transaction to boyfriends is so delicious! Ronan’s angst over his dreaming is what draws him to visit a SW and continue. (CW though since later in the fic it’s revealed by Adam that he was only 17 yo when he started SW on his own)
3. Man of Masks by EtoileGarden
(CW for SA) A very inventive take on the slow burn where the kink/sex comes before the romantic relationship. The feels! The scenes! The longing! (All the characters are aged up) Ronan comes to Adam after being assaulted by Kavinsky during their meeting for drugs/sex/Ronan’s punishment. Adam convinces Ronan to come to him for submisssion/pain/“punishment” instead. Adam surprises Ronan by setting boundaries and emphasizing consent. Ronan is already in love with Adam but it takes a while for Adam to realize his feelings for Ronan, despite the increasingly sexual and emotional nature their kink relationship takes.
4. And the Forest Began to Sing by rootingformistopheles.
A short and sweet and hot smut fic. Cabeswater merges with Adam to physically please their Greywaren. Includes vine tentacles and bondage!
5. “In a hurry” by PennyByTheBlock
Adam and Ronan have a Sunday morning quickie at the Barns before work and church, respectively. It’s so hot, I’ve read it like 20 times already. It really captures the Adam/Ronan dynamic.
6. There’s No Place Like My Room by Lil_Redhead
8 notes · View notes
friendofcars · 7 months
Note
for the ask game!
"Electric joy surged through Ronan, overpowering the worry."
hi!
my guess: definitely feels like it came from the dream thieves and the word "electric" is making me think it's in chapter 27, which is the substance party chapter (is the worry perhaps about being around gansey and kavinsky simultaneously, or the mitsubishi burning?). i suppose this could also be after ronan dreams the replacement camaro later in the book but i think it's less likely. also as i'm reading my answer back to myself i'm realizing i am biased since i literally just finished re-reading tdt and it might be in greywaren when ronan is sleeping and hears adam talking to declan (chapter 9??? whichever the chapter is when adam tells declan he's deaf in one ear) but ALSO this might be in the sweetmetal sea soul merge chapter. oh wow this is exceedingly difficult but very fun to try to figure out. final answer is the sweetmetal sea "reader, i merged souls with him" sequence. which may or may not be greywaren chapter 25. the "through Ronan" is giving me the sense of not being in a physical body and it would be logical for him to be worried about adam being untethered from his body in such uncharted circumstances.
the answer: it is in fact the sweetmetal sea scene when adam scries and his consciousness finds ronan (although the chapter number is 19, not 25). not sure how i stumbled into the right answer but here we are.
my thoughts on this line: i love how ronan's emotions are described as electric (as things that can surge, like power) given his intrinsic tie to ley energy. and while it was a speculation when i was guessing, i think the fact that ronan (rather than his body) is mentioned emphasizes the fact that he's in his most greywaren-like form, which makes me think back to the dream thieves and how we learn that ronan is both dangerous and beautiful (and manifests both danger and beauty). here, we see him in an otherworldly form but with intense human emotions. the way he swings from worry to joy feels very in character for him, and we learn why his emotions are so intense and all-consuming in the same book. i think it's particularly apt for his feelings regarding adam, specifically, to embody electricity and power given symbols and plot points in trc (the thunder and lightning in the dream thieves, adam essentially rewiring the ley line to give ronan the brief moment of time necessary for ronan to decide to save himself, etc.). the joy is because adam has "come all this way" to find him in the sweetmetal sea, because ronan no longer feels abandoned. he's like a dog with separation anxiety who destroys the house and then jumps for joy when its owner gets home, as if they never left.
i know this chapter gets a lot of criticism for evading what could have been a more satisfying conversation between ronan and adam re: their relationship and i do agree. greywaren could have been 100+ pages longer imo. i think there should have been more writing devoted to better resolution of character arcs and more thorough exploration of interpersonal relationships.
HOWEVER i do really enjoy the chapter itself, even if it's a symptom of greywaren's main weakness as a series finale. i like how adam embraces ronan's eldritch self so readily. i love the refrain of they were wanted, they were wanted, they were wanted. i think it's wild how integral they are to each other's sense of integrated self (this is terribly unhealthy but fascinating to read about). i think due to personal problems the lack of verbal communication is actually kind of appealing in isolation even if i don't condone it. i am thinking about how ecstatic ronan is when adam is with him and how despondent he gets when adam's not and how there's some emotional object permanence issues going on here that i'm a little scared of thinking about. i'm getting off track here but at some point i imagine my focus will shift from trc to td3 and i'll do a much more thorough analysis of the chapter beyond this line/my general opinion.
8 notes · View notes
ganseybois · 1 year
Note
pynch prompt! Post Greywaren, adam and ronan reunite after some time apart working
here you go :) i hope you enjoy!
Adam was in a terrible mood.
Exhaustion had hit him like a train over the past few days, and with that mental and physical toll came a deep sadness. This was the longest he and Ronan had ever been separated; they just couldn't find a way to meet in the middle this time. They tried so hard to take jobs where they could manage seeing each other, but occasionally, it was unavoidable to end up on different continents, and now, here Adam was, miserable because of it.
He sighed, his eyes heavy. He wanted to sleep. Or cry. Or call Ronan. Perhaps all three. He rarely felt this out of control with his emotions, but not even Adam Parrish could keep it together all the time.
Dragging his feet, Adam fished through his messenger bag for his keys and unlocked the door to the hotel he was staying in. As it closed and automatically locked, he dropped his bag to the floor, and ran his hands over his face, letting out a soft groan.
"Well," a voice said, "you look like absolute shit, Parrish."
Adam looked up from his hands, disbelief causing him to stay rooted to where he stood, despite the fact that the love of his life was across the room, waiting for him on the armchair.
"Ronan?" he asked.
Ronan got up, and started to walk over to him. "What's wrong with you?" he asked immediately. Clearly, he had been expecting a better welcome. Adam couldn't blame him.
Adam finally willed his legs to move and met Ronan in the middle of the room, roughly pulling him in for a hug. One hand on the back of Ronan's skull, Ronan's arms wrapped firmly around him, Adam's nose rubbing along Ronan's neck. Home, home, home.
"Adam?" Ronan asked, voice softer now, concerned.
"I just really fucking missed you." Adam sighed, pressing himself tighter against Ronan.
Ronan's hand was slowly moving up and down Adam's back. "I missed you too." he kissed Adam's cheek, pulling back slightly to look at him. "I just took off. It was too long."
Adam nodded. "Much too long." he finally released Ronan, but kept their hands twined. Adam felt a furious surge of love when Ronan brought Adam's hands to his lips to kiss. "Did you...I mean, did you know?"
"Know what?"
"That I was miserable."
"Maybe." Ronan shrugged, caressing the side of Adam's face. Adam leaned into it, he was addicted to that—Ronan's loving touches. "Our souls know each other, Parrish, so I wouldn't rule out telepathic connections."
Adam grinned, he already was feeling better. "I'm just saying that your timing is impeccable."
"For once."
Adam rolled his eyes but kept smiling, leaning forward to plant a soft kiss on Ronan's lips. He was addicted to that too—kissing Ronan after a smile. They kissed and kissed and kissed, until Adam had to take a breath, after Ronan bit his lip, after hands started grabbing and pulling.
Adam let out a shaky breath. "When do you have to leave again?" he asked, trying not to show how sad he was.
Ronan smiled. "I'm not."
"What?"
"I told you, didn't I? I took off. Did a half-ass job, might have to go back, but everyone is alive and well. So I came here. I'll go back when you can come with me." Ronan ran a thumb over Adam's eyebrow. "It was too long, Adam." Adam, My Adam.
Adam kissed him again, hoping that his gratitude was clear from his eagerness. He practically crawled his way into Ronan's welcoming arms, legs wrapping around Ronan's waist, as he brought them to the bed (and later, to the armchair, on the desk, in the shower).
Adam, who had been so tired, would be up most of the night, kissing, fucking, and talking, talking, talking. Adam listened to Ronan talk about people he met, who he liked, and hated, and the awful food he ate. Adam laughed, asked questions, and told his own stories too. But mostly he listened. He listened to the sound of Ronan's handsome voice filling the room of the hotel, watched his lips move around the words, and watch his hands become part of the story as he expressed his joy or frustration. He was reminded, not for the first time, how much he loved this man next to him. How he could listen to him, watch him, forever.
They had missed each other so much that Adam had refused to fall asleep until around two in the morning. And even then, it was Ronan who had to gently coax him into it. Adam didn't want to miss a moment with Ronan, but Ronan could see how tired Adam was.
"I'll hold on all night." Ronan promised as Adam closed his eyes.
An hour and a half later, sleep took Ronan too.
In their dreams, they met again, their hands reaching for each other in the bright sunlight of Henrietta.
Home.
41 notes · View notes
faeparrish · 1 year
Note
I feel like Maggie literally totally forgot about Matthew in the last few chapters I mean *greywaren spoilers*
She literally made everyone think he was DEAD and then just … didn’t bring him back till the last chapter and had no resolution at all?? It’s as if she was so busy trying to wrap up everyone’s else’s story she just forgot about him lmao 😭
don’t get me started… matthew’s arc had SO much potential. like here is a character who had his autonomy ripped from him, his entire personhood questioned and denied, and his agency and freewill taken away — and the people doing this to him were the people who were supposed to care about him the most!
my absolute favourite concept in fiction is characters who appear to be human, but aren’t actually “human” in the sense that they were created, not born. because it then becomes a question of what we consider human life to be. these kinds of stories tend to explore what happens when the definition of humanity is questioned, because the existence of these characters challenges everything. when a society is restricting “nonhuman” characters’ autonomy and dignity, but these characters behave and think and feel in the same way humans do, where is the line? when is it crossed? it tends to be a theme that lives in science fiction. channel 4’s humans did this really well; the girl with all the gifts also covered it in a really interesting way, and so did jeff vandermeer’s borne; ex-machina and westworld are also good examples.
so based on how the foundation of matthew’s arc had been laid out in cdth, i was really excited to see the concept explored in this series. most stories that cover this topic place these characters in robots, so i was really interested to see how this would play into characters that are organic; living and breathing people. dreamt people are created not born, and yet for all that, they still exist as people; they eat, they feel, they bleed, they cry. the only thing that puts their humanity into question is how they were brought into existence, and their continued dependence on their dreamer. to what extent are they just an extension of their dreamer? how much of their mind is their own? matthew was essentially created by ronan to serve a function (being the “perfect” brother) but when he finds out he was dreamt, something shifts in him. he behaves in a way that neither ronan nor declan recognises; he becomes aware of his built in behaviours and he begins to challenge them (it was a similar journey for jordan although her arc leans more into the idea of her separating herself from hennessy, which is a whole other post).
the moment he switched from this version of himself, the moment he “woke up” was the point where i got really invested in his arc, because this was supposed to change everything for him. as soon as that moment happened, declan stopped pretending to treat him like a human. he stops humouring matthew, he doesn’t hide the fact that he views matthew as a burden, he doesn’t try to protect him emotionally in the way matthew had grown accustomed to. matthew spent the last two books being treated like an object or an animal. and because declan was matthew’s legal guardian, matthew’s life became dependent on a person who, despite loving another dream and accepting her as real, still didn’t see or treat him as such. whether he’s conscious or not is decided by declan, his emotions are ignored or brushed aside, he’s left to lie stagnant on a bed for days and is then switched on again as if nothing happened. the part where he realises he hadn’t been taken care of while asleep is so heartbreaking; his teeth hadn’t even been brushed, he was still wearing the same clothes.
and then after ALL that, his only moment of pushing back is punching declan and taking the car. and then everyone just believes him to be dead for the rest of the book until he walks home at the end. and he was too afraid to call!because even after everything that happened, he still believed declan would just be angry at him. after EVERYTHING, the main takeaway for his character was that he still believed he wasn’t worth worrying about. he got no resolution. the reality of how he had been treated by his family was never explored or challenged in a way that felt deserving of his character. he got so unbelievably sidelined at the end of this series.
27 notes · View notes
Text
Thesis:  It takes more than just love to be a good parent, or deconstructing Niall.
One of the big emotional reveals of Greywaren was how much Niall loved Declan and how much Declan loved him back.  The big reveal to me is how little this changed my opinion of Niall.  Because for a man that truly and devotedly loved his sons, he sure was a fuckup as a parent.
It occurred to me, after rereading Greywaren, that none of the complaints that Declan had about Niall in MI were wrong, and knowing Niall loved him didn't change that. 
Declan wanted to hate his father, Niall.  For being a bad businessman, for never paying attention to the details, for bullshitting himself to death.  For being a bad father.  For having favorites. For having favorites who weren't Declan.  (MI chpt 10)
So for starters, anyone who has followed this Lynch family blog knows that I always thought Niall cared about Declan. The signs were always there.  I did NOT think Declan was his favorite. On the one hand, it makes sense that Declan was the favorite, given he was the only one of the boys who was an actual biological son.   But I think Declan (and the reader) can be excused for thinking Ronan was the favorite.  Niall, in his attempt to appease the eldritch god he brought home, must have really layed the praise and adulation on thick, because Ronan and Matthew also thought Ronan was Niall's favorite (TDT chpt 22).
Also, Niall WAS a bad businessman, who didn't pay attention to details.  Its a major plot point in TRC that Niall set unsavory people after Ronan by carelessly throwing "greywaren" around, that Declan spent the majority of time behind the scenes in TRC cleaning up the mess that Niall left, that Niall's business dealings got him killed, thus traumatizing all three sons.  It's also canon that Niall's business dealings got Declan
capriciously stuffed in the trunk of his father's car, while listening to his father being roughed up, or handcuffed and forced to watch his parent's barn get tossed in front of him, or beaten senseless and left half dead in his Aglionby dorm room (TRK chpt 28)
All of those are pretty understandable reasons to be angry at your father.
And bringing your 10 year old kid to black market meet-ups as a perverted form of quality time as a love language - well, that doesn't cut it either.  At the Fairy Market in CDTH, you sensed that they could be dangerous, but it was presented as an adventure.   Yet, Declan is nervous the whole time and furious at Ronan's recklessness.  At the New York Fairy Market, you saw why.   These were not child-friendly places.  What had Declan seen before?
********
Of course, the real elephant in the room is the situation with Mór and Aurora.  The premise in Greywaren is that Declan's been lying to himself as a coping mechanism to deal with the grief of losing his parents. But where did he learn that?
Niall's death was not Declan's first loss.  Declan lost his mother at approximately age four.  Now, I suspect Mór would have left eventually, since she wasn't cut out to be a mother.  And Niall and Declan would have grieved, but moved on.  Instead, Aurora was created so that Niall could feel loved and go on creating the illusion of a perfect, loving family.  Declan was not troubled because Aurora was a dream, but because she was an impostor.
Niall gaslit Declan for years that Aurora was his real mother, thus preventing Declan from grieving properly.  How confusing that would have been. You can see how unhappy Declan is about this both by Ronan's memory of Declan trying to knock Aurora's wedding ring down the sink (Mór and Niall weren't married) (Greywaren chpt 15). Its also evident in Declan's frustration with accepting Matthew since he was already expected to accept the lie of Aurora (Greywaren chpt  25) Declan was given no way to manage his grief except to lie and pretend he didn't care.
******
In TRK, Ronan observed that the Barns "had never been his home.  The Lynches had never tried to make it Declan's home." (TRK chpt 34) What I think this means is that Niall created the Barns because *he* needed to feel loved and secure. Understandable, since he wasn't sure Mór loved him, and he was very sure his mother didn't.  Nearly every choice Niall made is either to appease someone so they would accept him, or to meet his own need for love.  He created Aurora and brought Declan along on business trips to prioritize his own needs, not anyone else's, even though he said (and did) love them. Even giving up his memories so he couldn't remember things like how happy he was when Declan was born, were to meet his own needs, with no thought to how that might make his son feel later. Niall was a very damaged man.
But if you are going to have children, there comes a point where you have to consider their needs as well your own.  And maybe prioritize them over your own at times.  Not all the time, of course, or you end up with a Declan and Matthew situation.  But enough so they feel safe and respected.  And this is what Niall failed to do.
At the end of Greywaren, Declan is remembering all the good things about Niall, and I think he needs that emotionally to move on. But in some ways this is just splitting - seeing only the good, or only the bad. You can hope that in some future imagined world Declan can develop a realistic memory of his father and make peace with it. Where the story leaves us, Ronan has the far more integrated view of Niall.
26 notes · View notes
christ-with-a-why · 1 year
Text
I finished reading Greywaren today and just have so many feelings 🙃 but anyway i can't believe this book really came in to absolutely fucking wreck me with this one incredibly insane family and how they're all messed up and hurt each other but still actually all love each other but don't know necessarily know how to show. i mean we already knew abt the brothers lynch at this point but learning about their parents???
like niall's not a good dad, and he did a lot of things wrong, but reading abt how actually declan was his favorite (and ronan only seemed like it cuz he was trying so hard to make ronan feel as much of niall's love as niall felt for declan), and he showed it by bringing declan along with him everywhere even though they were so different, and how he got him a flat in dc even tho he thought politics was dumb but knew that it was important to his son, and how the first memory he gave up was declan's birth because it was too perfect a moment for him to keep in the broken world he and mor built.
and how mor doesn't feel emotions the way other people do and you think maybe she's about to go serial killer crazy and that's why she and niall split up but actually niall comes to understand that the reason she told him is because she loves him in her own way, more than she's ever cared abt anyone else, and that she tells him so they can fully understand each other and be loved as who they are, but she can't stay after ronan- who she urged niall to help create, but who she couldn't handle the reality of- but she doesn't really want to leave niall, so instead she comes up with the idea for them to create different versions of themselves that can stay with each other- aurora to be the loving mother and wife that stays, the new fenian to be the younger niall that traveled across an ocean with her and would follow her anywhere- and anyway i'm not remotely okay
14 notes · View notes
nightvvash · 1 year
Text
fics I need after Greywaren (spoilers):
- how the fuck did Matthew get home someone please tell me about his adventures
- Ronan and Declan thought Matthew was dead and Declan didn’t cry about it (he said he cried for the first time since Niall died on whatever day that was a few days after Ronan came home so clearly Declan didn’t cry about Matthew with Ronan until at least after that). But I guarantee you Ronan went and sobbed in Matthew’s room shortly after he got to the barns. Someone please write this.
- Clearly now that Declan had his breakdown in the driveway his tear ducts are on overdrive. Someone please write a fic where Declan makes up for lost emotions where there’s lots of tears about everything for days/weeks after this. Like, make this kid out-cry Ronan. I want him to cry over the most random shit. All the tears he’s been suppressing for 20 years. And obviously Ronan will playfully tease him about it but everyone will actually be really supportive. And at some point Declan will cry over toothpaste or something and it’ll make Ronan cry too bc Ronan is just like that.
- I need all the fics about the three brothers Lynch hugging each other and crying after Matthew walks back in the front door. How did they become friends again? Give me all the heart to hearts and messy fights and emotions that got them there.
- the first time Adam and Ronan are somewhere private and alone after the apocalypse. What happens. How to they reconcile. I need it.
- Ronan’s first phone call with Gansey after the apocalypse to tell him what happened.
- Ronan’s reunion with chainsaw and Opal.
- surely Adam has some lasting effects from having his consciousness separated and brought back together. Is anything missing? How does he adjust to his new normal?
- Ronan knows who he is now but that’s just the start of his existential crisis. How does he cope with being an eldritch forest demon from another dimension? How does Adam?
- a few years later Ronan and Declan get in a fight for old times sake and Declan drops the “the only reason our parents didn’t kill you before you could talk was because I loved you first” lol.
Ugh I have so many feelings and I’m not a writer only a reader so I’m just going to keep waiting and watching and reading everything everyone writes about these kids. I love them so much. If any writer reads this and genuinely wants to take any of these ideas and run with it, go for it!
5 notes · View notes
adamsrcnan · 1 year
Note
when I find myself in times of trouble I… seek comfort on your blog🥲
that last Greywaren sneak peek has me in absolute shambles and I have no idea what is going to happen between Adam and Ronan in the sense that I’m so worried about the book being too short for everything to be fixed thoroughly :( Like I know they will be okay eventually but I hate that Adam would think Ronan didn’t choose him and I also wanted to ask your opinion on this: I know we only had an out of context line so it might not be what we imagine exactly, but would you think it would be weird for Adam not to realize Ronan is going through something and needs help? Granted, he has every right to be angry and disappointed for Ronan’s behavior 💔
Helloooo
You're so cute omg 🥺🥺 i'm so glad that my blog brings you comfort !!
I know exactly how you feel !! It completely threw me off and made me like Not want to read the book lowkeyyyy.
However, that being said. I do have a little faith that everything will be okay. I said this in a previous post as well i really really don't think Maggie will undo everything she's built up with Adam and Ronan. It would be a huge mistake and just make no sense at all. Why spend an entire series bringing them together so beautifully just to break them down????
And if she DOES do that then ha ha jokes on her because i suggest we collectively act like the dreamer trilogy doesn't exist.
But seriously i think Adam and Ronan will be okay. I mean it's one line we have no idea what it's in reference to or what context it's said in. We can only assume or guess and of course we will assume the worst because it does sound like such a heartbreaking thing to say.
I think it is a very sticky situation they're in. But from the story so far i'm kind of on Adam's side (not that there are sides per se and that's totally NOT biased at all bc i was PISSED he didn't respond to Ronan at the end of cdth). The way I see it Ronan is a little out of control and being Very reckless and gotten himself into a huge mess kinda?? And then I mean he called and texted Adam and then threw his phone away how was Adam supposed to contact him?? He answered as soon as Ronan did call him at the end of MI so Ronan clearly misunderstood what was going on. Adam is concerned for Ronan and he never ever wanted to stop him from going after the answers he needed. He only asked him to wait for him to come back. So he could help him. I think Adam is just really hurt and confused right now. He's got his college to worry about as well that he's absolutely killed himself to get into (and Ronan knows and values this). I think if Adam knew more of what went down and had more information on the situation he would be more understanding mayhaps?? He might still disagree with the choices Ronan made. But he knows Ronan like the back of his hand. I think he just expected Ronan to respect his opinion on the matter and Ronan kind of didn't? He went along and did what he wanted to do anyway. I think thats where the problem lies. But i can't see them not getting past it.
Clearly a lot of shit is going to go down and i think we best prepare ourselves for a lot of angst and emotional drama and heartache.
Ronan and Adam are for life. They've been through hell before, they can handle anything. And they will always handle it together.
If Ronan needs him, Adam will always come.
And if i'm wrong... then clearly I have broken off into another timeline where everything is the opposite of what it should be. A thread in the multiverse that i would not care for.
2 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
Rating: Explicit
Relationships: Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish, Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent, Jordan/Declan Lynch, Carmen Farooq-Lane/Hennessy, Matthew Lynch/OC
Tags:  Kid Fic, Magic, Parent-Child Relationship, Parenthood, Established Relationship, Adulthood, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Found Family, Family Love, Grief/Mourning, Adam Parrish Loves Ronan Lynch, Ronan Lynch Loves Adam Parrish, Greywaren Spoilers, Running Away, Piercings, Tattoos, Mentions of Death, Vomiting, Minor Injuries, Coming of Age, Anal Sex, Mentions of Depression
Summary: The sample size was small, but literally everyone Ronan knew, besides Hennessy and Carmen Farooq-Lane, were having babies. He didn’t necessarily consider himself the baby having type. Most people would look at him and think that he would be the one to drop said baby. He would be the first to say that his lifestyle was not necessarily accommodating to a baby. But nonetheless…Ronan Lynch wanted a baby 
OR 
The one in which Lindenmere manifests a baby and catapults Ronan and Adam into Parenthood
Excerpt:
Time seemed to fly by. 
Aoife grew like a weed, keeping Ronan and Adam on their toes, especially once she was walking. There had been many an occasion of chasing her down hallways, and scooping her out of the way of restless animals and over exuberant cousins on snowy hills. 
Their life had been given a complete overhaul. Nothing was perfect. Some days were better than others and time away for just the two of them was necessary. But overall, life with Aoife was great. 
Adam had been surprised by his own reaction to being a parent. If he was honest, he would have liked to have had a little more time to mull things over, but from the moment he’d seen Aoife, he knew that he was already done for. 
He really shouldn’t have been surprised by how she had come into their lives. It seemed so typical for them. 
He had thought that he would have had a harder time loving Aoife, because love was a tricky emotion for Adam. 
He’d only begun to really parse out what love was for himself after having realized that he loved Ronan. 
[Chapter Nine]
[The Beginning]
1 note · View note
wolives-town · 2 years
Text
pynch told through taylor swift songs
in chronological order here are songs and vague explanations that tell the story of pynch from trb to mi!! I might go into deeper detail like I did with my “mine” lyrical breakdown but this is the gist :)
The Raven Boys
Gorgeous - this is more notable in MI when Ronan explains seeing Adam for the first time and praying for him but it also encapsulates their conflicting dynamic where they have a rough friendship at the start but are developing feelings
Better Than Revenge - ignoring the misogyny in this song it reminds me of when blue comes into the picture w Adam, and if you read closely there r so many instances of Ronan being jealous/treating blue unfairly bc of it
seven - in general this song is very gansey and adam but it works for Ronan too with the whole concept of wanting him to get away from his dad and find safety somewhere
The Dream Thieves
You Belong With Me - I read a really great lyrical breakdown somewhere about why this is the perfect pynch song but it’s about ronan’s internal monologue towards blue and adam maybe noticing the issues they’re having 
Untouchable - presumably post blue and adams “breakup” and pynch is having their st agnes sleep overs and a lot of pining on ronans end and the whole “second secret” thing
Blue Lily, Lily Blue
gold rush - this is adam’s pining and when he’s staring to get to know ronan better and see all the sides of him he didn’t get to see before
The Raven King
I Think He Knows -  at this point both of them are very aware of their feelings for each other and its just all the flirty banter and tension they have for like the whole book
ivy - the more angsty side of their developing feelings would be the fear that adam kind of feels and how ronan “doesn’t do games” and the overwhelming emotions that both their feelings give them
Everything Has Changed - they get together!! this is the token friends to lovers song so of course i had to stick it in and it fits perfectly 
Opal Short Story / Miscellaneous period before TDT
Mine - I did a more detailed post on this but as the year following trk goes on everything just settles in and theyre very in love and make it through their troubles together :)
You Are In Love - this is more detailed in MI with the description of the gloves/boots and how they’re living their lives together but this is when they fall fall in love and start tamquam alter idem-ing hahaha
Afterglow - it’s a little random but throughout the Opal short story/kinda into cdth they have a few hiccups together but they’re able to put things back together with a surprising amount of apologies
Call Down the Hawk
Renegade - its mostly the line thats like “is it your anxiety that stops you from giving me everything” and how ronan and adam r having issues with ronan not being able to move into cambridge and the whole disaster at the beginning of the book
Call It What You Want - despite their argument or disagreements at the beginning they still care a lot about each other (ie. ronan’s birthday chapters is what i’m thinking)
Mister Impossible
peace - I think this song applies to basically every book in TDT so far but ronan feeling that adam deserves someone better and his whole monologue about dying and having to leave adam and his feelings from not being able to move into cambridge
Forever Winter - adam making that call at the end of the book where he had no idea what was going on with ronan and wanting to help him even though ronan is ignoring him etc
All Too Well - it reminds me of Adam after Ronan hangs up on him and doesn’t call the whole book bc of lyrics like “you call me up again just to break me like a promise” 
Back To December - technically this is mostly predictions for Greywaren (yay title drop for TDT 3!!) but it’s what i expect ronan and adam to kinda be when ronan gets back from whatever happened at the end of MI and ronan realizing that he messed up !!
that’s it but i hope you listen to some of these in order while doing lyrical analysis bc thats the true experience of my pynch taylor swift musical universe :)
34 notes · View notes
off-in-the-moors · 3 years
Text
Joseph Kavinsky analysis, part 1
aka how did I get here and why is he the reason
Warnings: spoilers for the whole Raven Cycle, mentions of: drug-use, abuse, death, murder, homophobic slurs, xenophobia
Part 1 // Part 2
After finishing The Raven Cycle and analyzing every chapter, character and the overarching plot with my friend, we were left feeling empty. It's been few months, I kept looking-up more TRC related things, other people's opinions, look through fandom content and even read some post from the author's, now deleted, tumblr account, trying to find answers to why I'm feeling like this. Why the books seem to decline for me in quality as I kept reading? Why I can't see Ronan in the same light as the rest of the fandom? Why I couldn't like the author? And the answer was looking me in the eyes the whole time.
"Depending on where you began the story, it was about Joseph Kavinsky."
I loved his character from the moment we met him in The Dream Thieves and still think about him to this day. But why? In a way, Kavinsky is too familiar to me, from his attitude, through appearance to his voice. It’s like I knew him, and this isn’t surprising. I met/saw Kavinskys on the streets, I know Kavinskys, and I was a Kavinsky once in my life. Although I'm the opposed to him, I still sympathies with him and understand how it feels to be in dark places in your life. And I'm not the only one, many people adore him and don't deny his actions to be terrible. But on the other side, the majority of fans hates him and titles him "the worst/most evil antagonist of the series". But why? What about K makes him so polarizing? The simple answer is: the way he was presented and the function he played in the plot. Even then, K's whole arc in TDT was handled horribly and damaged the way readers will view, not only people like K but also themselves. This and also future posts, I’ll be analyzing everything relied to K, including his treatment after book's release by the author and what some deleted scenes and unused ending can shine on.
This is part 1 of a series of posts to come.
This part is about the narrative and characters views of Kavinsky.
Narrative and characters
Narrative is a powerful tool of telling a story, well crafted and coupled with character's internal-voice makes the reader view the story under different light. In a PoV of one character, one thing might bring-up different emotions and ideas, than the others. Exploring relationships and events differ, because everybody experience it differently. But problem begins when the narrative forces a reader to a opinion, without backing it up with reasons or giving a opposing one. In case of Joseph Kavinsky, before we properly meet him, we are told by the characters to hate him and the narrative backs them up in reasons to hate him. All the reasons given to us at that time, boil down to "I heard a rumor."
Gansey hates him, because "There was nothing about Kavinsky that wasn’t despicable" and "he thinks life is a music video". He doesn't want Ronan to associated with him, which is connected with him covering and getting Ronan's ass for the mess he made, having him project his anger and frustration he has with Ronan on to K, who part-takes in the same activities and probably with Ronan, is understandable. But I didn't expect much from a guy who: payed the school officials so they won't kick Ronan out; insulted Adam and throw Adam’s abuse at his face, just to instant of apologizing to him, make a pity party for himself (also having Adam apologies to Gansey for his rightful outburst isn't okay), is fine with having a romantic relationship with Blue while she's still with Adam, hurting him even further but makes it all about himself, etc. Him hating K, just because of his lifestyle, made sense. But were the line was crossed, was when he started to decide on other people's worth. Lines like "we matter" (on which I'll extend later in the post) or "Ronan is fixable and has a soul [Kavinsky doesn't]", were used not only to show what Gansey himself thinks of K (he isn't a human being to him), but also demonize K and make the reader not consider him an equal to the Gangsey (a teenage).
Blue hates him, because he's yet another Raven Boy. Her hatred comes mostly from her distance for them, rich boys with privilege to which Gansey gang is an exception (although two out of four are exactly the kind she hates, and she told Noah directly she wouldn't be friends with him if he was alive) (There can be made a whole post about Blue's hypocrites regarding Raven Boys, but this isn't it). She also talks about how she doesn't feel comfortable around K and "if she couldn’t forgive Kavinsky for always managing to make her feel so insignificant", which makes sense. But while describing him, she calls him "a import from somewhere else", not only lessening him as a person but also making a xenophobic comment, noting his long nose as one of the factors (you could say, she meant him being from New Jersey, but you don't "import" stuff from inside a country, you only "import" from abroad and K is Bulgarian, doesn't matter if he's an immigrant or just has Bulgarian roots). Later, while discussing what to do with K draining the ley lines, Greyman offers to talk to him, to which Blue asks him "can you make him feel worthless while you do?”. Yes, she asked a hit-man, who killed not only Niall Lynch but also multiple people (including three on pages, which was described in the case of the ones breaking into Montmouth) for money. (Yes, fans say it's fine he murdered Niall, because he was a dick and horrible father, but what we forget is that it wasn't a fast death. It was slow and brutal, having him bludgeoned to send a message to Declan. No "he was a weapon in Greenmatle's hand" can excuse it.). Plus, he beat-up and threatened Declan with a gun if he doesn't give him the Greywaren. "Making him feel worthless" can only mean the worst. Kavinsky was a asshole, but he didn't deserved that. Also Blue gives the idea to give Kavisnky to the Greyman instant of Ronan, which was shot down, but not because it's horrible, inhuman and they can't decide on someone else's life, but because they think Greenmantle's people will come back also for Ronan. They were ok, with K being basically a scapegoat so Ronan will live.
Adam just "hates that prick" and "looked at the table with a studied disinterest" when K approached their table at Nino's, those are his only interaction in anything Kavinsky related (In a part regarding the "original" ending, we'll see it wasn't always the case.).
Noah barely exists in the series after The Raven Boys and never comes in contact with K or gives any opinion on him, outside of "ducked his head down into his shoulders, but couldn't take his eyes off the newcomer".
Ronan's relation with K could be its own post all together and there already are some good post about it, but for this one, I'll only mention few things. He gives us a very "I hate him but I'm into this lifestyle" attitude. He races against K but doesn't want to have anything to do with him or he's "dogs". (Yes, Dream Packs canon name is "Kavinsky's pack of dogs" as Ronan calls them. Ironically, Ronan gets angry then Declan and K called him "Gansey's dog" but is fine when Gansey calls him "his dog".) He never thanked or acknowledged K saved his life from the Night Horror. He accepted K's help in dreaming-up the new Pig but afterwords ditches him without even a slit gratefulness (his motivation being remembering Gansey's words), and mocks that K thought there could be anything between them (friendship or relationship, it dependents how you interpret it), turning this into just using K to get what he wanted. And yes, what K did while Ronan slept (tracing Ronan's back tattoo with his finger) was unacceptable, if it really happened and wasn't just phantom-touch while falling asleep (if it was real, it can be interpreted as K acting out of his internalized homophobia, letting himself a moment of “curiosity”, but it still wouldn't make it fine).
Ronan and K insult one-another multiple times through-out the story but the difference is quite showing. K's insults are mostly homophobic, calling Ronan a "fag" or implying Ronan and Gansey are together. This is a typical teenage insults, but are also showing of K's internalized homophobia if viewed through "Don’t say Dick Gansey, man. Do not say it. He is never going to be with you. And don’t me tell you don’t swing that way, man. I’m in your head." and "It's a bomb. Just like you." scenes.
But Ronan, excepting the typical insults like "ball-sack", goes after who K is. "Bulgarian mobster Jersey trash piece of shit" or "Russian" (to the latter, K responded "Hey now, let's not make this ugly") are personal, referring not only to from where K's from, implying he's a mobster like his father and just calling him "a waste". Unfortunately, K's whole character is already one big stereotype of Slavs as viewed not only by Americans. But insulting someone for being "Bulgarian", something they had no control over, is xenophobic. (And for "Russian", as a Slav myself, let me tell you. Calling a non-Russian Slav "Russian" is a quick way to get on their bad side.) And if you're like "Ronan isn't xenophobic, because he's Irish" or "Maggie isn't xenophobic, because Ronan...", you have no idea how things work in Europe. This is the same argument as "He can't be racist, because he's black". TRC fandom is always ready to bring-up all K's sins and even enlarge them, but when in comes to Ronan, all his sins are either forgotten or excused.
One more thing I want to touch on is one of K's parties. After Monmouth got broken into by people looking for Greywaren (which Greyman broke into first), Gansey thinks it must be Kavinsky's doing, because of the fake ID left in front of the door. Him and Ronan go to K's party, he tells them, it's a substance party and asks where are theirs. As an answer, Ronan hits him in the face and throws through a car, just to show him his blooded knuckles with "This is your substance.". The rest is Gansey and Ronan not believing K, that he didn't trash their place, and a "different Gansey" throwing a Molotov cocktail at K's car. After that, they leave. But one thing isn't sitting right with me. The "This is your substance" is a beloved, may I say iconic, scene that is glorified by fans and cited as this "Ronan is so cool and K soo deserved it" thing.
Here's the thing. K is in full right. It's his party, on his rules. Gansey and Ronan just came from nowhere, probably for the first time, so the rule is stated for them. And Ronan's response? Physically assault K. Even if he's angry about the apartment, still he shouldn't just assault him. And Gansey does nothing. And one more thing: K never hits Ronan back. Not in next chapters, not at the end. Never.
Before the chapter ends, we get probably my most hated line from this book:
"Closing his eyes, Gansey leaned his head back on his seat, chin tilted up, throat green in the dash lights. There was still an unsafe sort of smile about his mouth — what a torment the possibility in that smile was — and he said, “There was never a time when that could’ve been you and me. You know the difference between us and Kavinsky? We matter."
We matter. And he doesn't. I could talk about this line and how damaging it is to people who see themselves in Kavinsky, but instant I'll say, why I hate it.
I have anxiety mixed with being introverted and back-in-the-day I felt isolated from my classmates, desperate for friends but only had toxic ones who dropped me so the popular girls would talk with them, just to be friends with me again after some time, bullied to the point of breaking multiple times, and hating myself for not fitting in, unable to connected with my peers in anyway. The line "we matter" echos my worst fear and thoughts from that time. "Everyone matter, you don't". I was too young to even have those thoughts, but they were always there. In the back of my head, like a recurring nightmare.
Just the idea, someone can say with confidence that someone, anyone, doesn't matter, makes me sick. No one has the inside to what's going on in someones life, to what thought are plaguing their head. Everyone's life matter and to say something like this in a book targeted to 12-18 year olds, who are at there most vulnerable stage, is not only irresponsible but enraging. Gansey is saying this about a guy his age, who is drug-addicted and self-destructive, because he doesn't like him and wants Ronan to stay away from. No one calls him out on it. Not Ronan, not the narrative. Nothing.
Until the kidnapping of Matthew and the paradox/question "did the tattoo tracing scene happened?", Kavinsky did nothing to earn hatred from the reader. He was living his life, being a stupid, reckless teenage boy with a power to get everything he wanted. Ask yourself a question: "If you had the power to pulled anything* from your dreams, wouldn't you go crazy with it? Maybe in a very selfish way?"
*  Throughout TRC and CDtH, we see no limit to what a dreamer can pull-out. From a pen or working car, living creatures (animals, copies of real people or purely made-up) to abstract things, like a word with power to animate the dead or an apocalypses.
Yes, K's dreaming drained the ley lines, causing Cabeswater to disappear. But did K knew about it? He knew that he needed to wait for it to recharge before dreaming more things and he did just that. The over-draining was cause by preparations for this Fourth of July party (dreaming many copies of his Mitsubishi) but same did Ronan’s dreaming (but Cabeswater acts as weird gatekeeper, so Ronan seems to be forgiven). But did he knew about Cabeswater? Or furthermore, Glendower? We can't confirm or deny it, but considering K isn't from Henrietta and probably is there only for school, he's there for about 2 years. Would he be interested in some random forest or some Welsh King, which just idea of him being in America is so far fetched to believe in?
No. All he was interested it, was parting and wasting himself away.
We don't get any other or opposing opinions on Kavinsky, only the ones given by Gangsey. They are the outsiders looking in, not having any inside, just rumors and their shallow observations/interactions. But we don't even get any "inside", not from other Raven Boys or even the Dream Pack (who are barely characters). After K's death, the only thing we get is Gangsey's not caring or being glad K's gone. Aglionby is silent and Henrietta, doesn't even acknowledge Fourth of July's Party even happened (but to be honest, the town feels like a theater stage than a living place). The only mentions about K that gives some idea someone noticed anything, was his name alongside Whelk’s and Dittley's in the newspaper at the end of BLLB (but this plot point is never mentioned again).
64 notes · View notes
ashes-and-ashes · 4 years
Text
Ah where do I even begin?
It’s still @of-stars-and-moon’s birthday where I am (I was going to post it yesterday but I got sick!) So HAPPY BIRTHDAY - I hope you had an incredible day you amazing, gorgeous person.
Asu - you were the first person that I befriended on here. I fell in love first with your incredible fics and then with your incredible personality, your overwhelming support and your ability to always see the good in things. You’ve grown from being someone that I completely admired and idolized into someone that I can talk to about anything - from Pynch, Andriel and Wolfstar to selfie positivity, adorable baby cousins and complaining about rain. I am so, so grateful that I can call you a friend, and hope you had an incredible day ❤️❤️
~
Adam finds him on the roof, legs hanging over the edge and hands braced behind him, the light of the sunrise painting the sky in shades of red and gold and pink. For a minute he almost can’t breathe; the fields dotted with dream creatures, the stars just barely fading out, the bold lines of the tattoo snaking across Ronan’s shoulders.
It’s almost too dark to see but a collection of tiny glowing rocks litter the roof, too strange to be made from anything but dreams. Adam carefully steps over them, trying not to slip as he joins Ronan, legs dangling over the edge.
“Hey,” he says, cautiously. He never really knew what to expect with Ronan. Adam had woken up this morning to the tense set of Ronan’s body next to him, the hard lines that only came after a dream. It was too dark to see what Ronan had brought back, but he knew it was something small; Ronan had cradled it in his hands like he was scared of it shattering. “Are you okay?”
Ronan just shrugs. There’s something strange about seeing him like this, the strange sense of vulnerability that was rarely seen with Ronan. Adam watches the rise and fall of his chest, the slight curve of his neck as he tilts his head back.
“Yes,” Ronan says, and he’s lying. There’s enough of a bite in the words, though, that Adam lets it go. He leans back and watches, the sleeping cows and the silver deer and Ronan above it all, a Prince of Dreamers.
He’s often wondered about it, in the late hours of night. Gansey was a King and Ronan was a Prince and where did that leave Adam? He never really knew, even after everything.
Ronan’s still refusing to look at him, his eyes firmly fixed on the rising sun. Adam swallows. Breathes in and out and then holds his breath, heart pounding in his chest.
“Tell me,” Adam says. “I won’t go if you tell me not to.”
Ronan lets out a short laugh, as vicious as the rest of him. It doesn’t bother Adam though - he’s grown too used to Ronan’s sharpness, the way he moved through the world like a fighter.
He’s always found it strange, how a warrior like Ronan could also be a dreamer. Sometimes he wonders if Ronan would give it up.
Ronan finally turns his head, meets Adam’s eyes and it’s always been a bit like looking into the sun, all the heat and searing emotion and the way it made Adam’s heart stop every single time. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to give your dreams up for a boy?”
“You do,” Adam says; the forest whispers behind him. “You do it all the time.”
Ronan just smiles - his true smile, the one that’s beautiful and radiant and soft. “It’s not the same though,” he says, and Adam loves the slight roll of his words, the lilt of an accent. “I have dreams to give up. You don’t.”
“I’d do it for you.”
“No,” Ronan whispers, in a way that almost sounded like a sigh. “You wouldn’t. I wouldn’t want you to.”
Adam closes his eyes and tries to imagine it - a different world, far from the fairy tales of dead kings and magicians and greywarens. He both hates it and wants it with a yearning that makes him slightly ill, a twisting in his stomach and a pain in his heart. “What will you do?” he asks, and the corner of Ronan’s mouth goes up.
“I don’t know. Stay at the farm. Take care of Opal. Dream.”
“What if you - “
“I won’t,” Ronan says, with so much conviction that Adam can almost believe him, as if he hadn’t woken up too many times to see the darkness pouring from Ronan’s eyes. As if he hadn’t seen the things that Ronan brought back with haunted expressions; blood and bones and, once, a glass orb the same shade as Adam’s eyes. “I’ve got it. And I have Opal, I guess. She’s enough.”
“Not always,” Adam murmurs.
Ronan shakes his head, his expression firm. “No,” he breathes. “You’re going to Harvard. It’s your dream. I won’t be the one to take it from you.”
Adam swallows down the feelings inside of him, a mess of conflicting feelings. He’s about to say something - anything - when Ronan holds up his hand.
“Here,” he says, and pulls something out. It’s wrapped in an odd golden fabric, the colour so rich that it could only come from a dream. “It’s for you.”
“What - “
“I don’t know. I just wanted to make something that make you remember and this came out. Take it.”
Adam does. The fabric is soft again his skin, slipping through his fingers. He pulls it aside to find a leather band - like the ones Ronan wore, shot through with threads of the same shimmering golden cloth that he had just cast aside.
“It’s beautiful,” Adam breathes, and Ronan smiles. He lets Ronan tie it, fingers brushing against the inside of Adam’s wrist and making him shiver. “Are you sure - “
Ronan shuts him up with a kiss.
They’ve been together for long enough now that the edge of their kisses had been dulled, no longer threaded with that frantic desperation, the feeling of the sky collapsing around them. This kiss was full of promise, of the sunrise and the sweet air, the rasp of the grass in the Barns at sunset, the taste of Ronan’s lips against Adam’s.
He watches the sun rise through half-shuttered eyelids, the feeling of Ronan’s hands against Adam’s hair, and he lets himself sink into it as the stars start to fade into the sky.
81 notes · View notes