#feels like some conflicts could be solved just by not actively being an asshole/giving a fuck about others/literally just talking

[thats-my-passion-right-there]

Is it just me or are the dragons from the dragon prince kind of assholes? (Not counting Zym obviously)

[cryptovalid]

The Centrist Politics of the MCU

One of the most central themes of the MCU is its attitude towards authority and violence. It’s a very interesting topic, but I think it’s worth discussing the pattern.

Long story short, the MCU is all about using the aesthetics of revolution, while undercutting the substance of it. It is uniquely effective at marketing the idea of rejecting authority, while also reinforcing the status quo.

Captain America is depicted as defying orders in almost every property he’s in. Carol Danvers frames her entire character arc around questioning authority. Thanos and Kang are specifically framed as genocidal despots that justify their actions by claiming to protect the people. Ultimately, this is even Hydra’s justification. 

Freedom vs. Authoritarianism is often framed as a tension between ethics and security. And on a dramatic level, this works. It gives heroes a nice internal conflict and character arc, and can be repeated for every single threat. 

The problem is that the MCU consistently frames the authoritarian as both sincere and ultimately correct. And it consistently frames actual soldiers like Sam, Carol and Steve as agents of critical resistance.

Thanos’ plan is a good example: at multiple junctures, heroes call out the cruelty of his actions. But they never question whether or not his belief that eradicating half of all life would solve food shortages is true, or whether he believes it. The characters all take for granted that this really would prevent starvation.

In reality, of course, this idea is called Malthusianism and is fundamentally incorrect. It is also a cynically convenient justification for policies that hurt and kill marginalised and poor communities.  

Meanwhile, freedom fighters are repeatedly depicted as both insincere and naive. Often, their causes are so appealing that the movie makes them wanton killers for no reason just to give the protagonists reasons to oppose their plans. Imagine what Killmonger would be like if he didn’t kill any defenseless women, for instance. Imagine if Karli Morgenthau just really believed refugees should be treated better and didn’t randomly blow people up to make a point.

This would immediately make their goals extremely difficult to argue against. Killmonger is presented as an indiscriminate killer and manipulator, and Karli as a misguided idealist whose actions endanger people rather than save them. Unlike Thanos, they are depicted as being incorrect or deceitful.

In the recent Loki season 1 finale, we see another example of a mass murderer and despot who seems to truly believe there is no better way, and it seems like the story is set to vindicate his beliefs.

The villains in the MCU are generally either autoritarians who understand the way the world really works and are willing to do seemingly immoral things to achieve truly good ends, or they are revolutionaries who are naive or selfish in some way. 

A similar dynamic is present in the heroes of the MCU, particularly in Tony Stark. He is all about creating weapons of mass destruction. He seeks control. He does this with the Hydra carriers, he does this with Ultron, and he does this with EDITH. In all three cases, his weapons clearly put the power to spy on and murder people in the hands of a very small group of people. In all three cases, the weapons fall into ‘the wrong hands’ within weeks of completion, causing massive casualties. He blackmails Peter, a teenager, into fighting for him against Captain America, and then gives thim the responsibility to control deadly, powerful weapons with no oversight. And not once does this cause Tony Stark or anyone else to question whether or not this is generally a good idea. Whether there is such a thing as ‘the right hands’. Time and time again, the MCU vindicates the idea that Tony Stark’s arms race is at worst a zero sum game, but mostly a necessary thing. It does a lot of work to make Tony Stark into a martyr, whose paranoia saved the world.

This leads to an incredibly centrist worldview. Yes, dictatorships are bad. government overreach is bad. But if people are good, you can trust them with the ultimate power to spy on and murder people.  Meanwhile, revolution sounds good, but it’s never realistic or sincere. 

These are not openly stated beliefs of characters, but they are constantly reinforced by the narrative. It’s pro-status quo. Legitimate concerns are made unpalatable by having unreasonable, naive assholes voice them. And incorrect bullshit is presented as a sincerely held belief by smart people who can’t afford to be moral. Your moral compas as a viewer is being manipulated.

The narrative is manipulated to make the MCU marketable to all demographics and not to offend any government that could subsidize or ban it. 

This is why you will never see an anarchist in these movies that is both smart and sincere: because their arguments would endanger the interests of the Disney corporation itself. But at the same time, its heroes will be ‘rebels’ in that they will resist ‘authority’ when it tells them what to do (purely as metaphor of course, this will have no direct bearing on actual controversy) while also mostly being unsupervised unaccountable paramilitary operatives. Anyone who seeks to change the status quo pro-actively is going to be either deceitful or incorrect.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that Disney narratives are bad or not worth following, but it does feel important to keep track of the values and worldview that the MCU reinforces.  

[a-student-out-of-time]

(Mod, can this anon just say I really appreciate how much self-control you have? When that Haiji defender showed up on your blog, you just said "get off my blog". This anon really appreciates how you didn't scream at them, accuse the person of secretly being a pedophile themself, tell them to kill themself or to choke on broken glass, encourage your followers to harass Haiji fans, etc. Today's generation of pop-culture-fandom could learn from your example.)

//Now that you bring this up, if you’ll indulge me, I’d like to talk for a bit about fandom toxicity.

//There is, in a way, a feeling of entitlement and ownership when it comes to characters or properties. That, because these things hold a special place in our hearts, that they belong to us and that our interpretation of them is the correct one and that anyone who disagrees is wrong.

//So when there comes creative decisions or opinions made by others with those properties, even ones by the actual creator of the work, that don’t match up to our own, there can come a feeling that these are a direct attack against us as well. With that comes a lot of the worst parts of fan culture: harassment, insults, bullying, threats, and even actual attacks on these people.

//But the truth is, these people were probably just expressing their feelings and emotions about the same work, because they enjoy it too. They were never trying to directly or indirectly attack you, they just simply had a different opinion. It’s important to keep that in mind: the people you talk to online are human beings with thoughts and feelings of their own, and those feelings are rarely going to be the exact same as yours.

//An unfortunate part of the problem are the inherent psychological biases that we all have, and confirmation bias especially. Where we’ll focus on information we agree with (even if it’s factually wrong) and ignore anything that conflicts with that (even if it’s factually correct). This goes beyond just fandom, but I’m going to stay on topic.

//There is not a single human being at any point in history who hasn’t been guilty of these biases. You, me, everyone you’ve ever met, we’ve all done it at one point or another. The issue is when these biases get us to leap toward intolerant conclusions about those whose viewpoints we disagree with. “You don’t have the same opinion as me, so you must be stupid/evil/bigoted/brainwashed/etc.”

//It can be so easy to draw those conclusions about people, especially when the arguments aren’t well-structured and you’re in the heat of the moment. But let’s be real: we’re never all going to 100% agree on everything. And that’s okay. Hell, if we did, that sounds more like a dystopian nightmare scenario where free thinking has been suppressed.

//And thinking is an activity I’ve always encouraged. Toxicity is ultimately at odds with critical thinking, where any dissenting opinion is hunted down and suppressed and anyone who speaks up is bullied into silence. That is not what my blogs are about. It does kinda make me sad that I’m being praised for not being a toxic asshole, because I don’t really feel like that’s praiseworthy. I want that to be a normal thing.

//Here’s an experiment: take your favorite DR character and ask yourself why you like them. What is it about them that drew you to them? Their personality? Their backstory? Their role in the narrative of whichever game they were in? When you have those reasons in mind, consider the following: what about this character is flawed? What about them is inherently dark or troubling? Why might someone else dislike them?

//And then work backwards from there: take your least favorite DR character and ask yourself why you dislike them. Then find all the ways why someone else might like them without diving straight into intolerant conclusions. Look past the surface and dig a bit deeper to see what exactly makes them tick.

//That’s not me asking for essays, that’s something I want you all to consider for yourselves.

//I’ll be the first to admit I really disliked Junko. I didn’t consider her all that interesting of a character or a villain, and she just cames off as very annoying and overblown to me. I considered everything that she sets in motion to be far more interesting. 

//I have, however, seen a lot analyses and in-depth looks at her as a character and after going through those, I came away with a lot of insights I didn’t even consider before. My opinion hasn’t changed too much, but I can definitely see (DR3 notwithstanding) all the way she can and does make for a interesting villain.

//So the takeaway is, even if you don’t end up changing your opinion, you can at least say “I still disagree, but I’ve gained some perspective into why someone would feel this way and I’m better for it.” Critical thinking does not mean you have to give up your opinions, and there does exists a very wide middle ground between total agreement and toxic harassment.

//But critical thinking is at odds with the idea that it’s best to retcon, ignore, or fabricate details of canon that we disagree with to justify those opinions. This is why I got so mad at the anon who claimed Haiji was talking about fictional underage girls, something that is not at all substantiated by evidence in the game. You can’t simply ignore these details because you don’t like them.

//Critical thinking is about being able to either say, “Okay, I fully acknowledge that these details about this character I like are problematic and I understand why it might upset people, but they’re not the sole or central reason why I like this character”, or “Okay, after careful analysis, maybe I was wrong about what I originally thought about them.”

//Me personally, I look at these details and ask “Okay, but how can we build off of this? Can we tell a new story with it?” For example, while SDRA2 Chapter 0 left a bad taste in most everyone’s mouths, I didn’t want to just retcon it. Instead,  thought Kokoro being regretful over her actions and wanting to reconnect with her daughter would make for a very interesting story.

//But the most important part of this that I’d want anyone to take away is that it’s important to listen to others and consider their viewpoints as well, and again without immediately jumping toward conclusions and talking over them before they make their case. Listen to people, ask them questions, and remember that on the other end of the conversation is another human being with thoughts and feelings of their own.

//Now, there is that invisible fear that “understand that others have different opinions” is shorthand for “just accept that some people are into r*pe/inc*st/p*dophilia and let them make content of it.” I promise you that is not at all what I’m suggesting here. I hope my previous angry rant about Haiji cemented that fact.

//What I am saying is that we need to be acutely aware of both the thoughts and feelings of others and those of ourselves. That it’ll be better for us as well as others to apply critical thinking and careful insight into our opinions, not taking them as inherent fact simply because we hold them, and understand that others will not always enjoy the same content the same way we do.

//And most importantly, being able to separate those who are willing to listen vs. those who’ll prefer to stay toxic, bitter, and unmoving is a very important skill to learn. There is no shame in withdrawing yourself from any sort of talk with a person who upsets people for fun, and it will be better for your health in the long run.

//Finally, let’s be real, what’s gained from arguing with people online? People who you never have and probably never will meet? Not much. But if someone is not going to budge and only wants to share their toxicity with the world, it’s better for you to simply walk away, block them, cut yourself off, and move on. Their toxicity is their deal, and it doesn’t have to be yours.

//But I also think there are people who are willing to listen, who may simply not know that they’re engaging in things that are hurtful or toxic. And some frank but kind insight as to why can change their opinions. A willingness to listen, not to just defend their position, is what’s important.

//I’ll be completely honest here and say I was in that position once. I’ve said and thought some awful things before, and I feel so fortunate that I met the right people who stopped me from going down that road before I got too far. Not with hostility or arguments, but honest and kind discussions and insights.

//As fans and as people in general, we can, should, and need to be better. That’s why I don’t want my space to be full of hate and bullying, but just storytelling and creative discussions, where people are welcome to express their opinions, and even if we disagree, that’s alright. We’ve at least gained some insight into each others’ views ^^

//Compassion and wisdom are what I consider the most important virtues, and being more critical of ourselves is how I think we can solve the issue of fandom toxicity. That’s what I’ve tried to apply here. My goal is just to tell a good story for you all to enjoy here, and I appreciate each and every one of you who’ve followed, liked, reblogged, or even just considered any of my posts worthwhile to read

//And if you made it all the way through this, I hope you’ll consider everything I’ve said here as well. You can’t change every single toxic person out there, but you can change yourself for the better and encourage others to do the same.

[romansleftshoulderpad]

Chapter Four - Origins

How am I Going to be an Optimist About This?

Words: 2,277

Ship: None

Warnings: Remus and Deceit as characters, body mutation, caps, verbal arguments, swearing

Tags: @fandermom @patchworkofstars @poisonedapples @hogwarts-my-love @opaque-puppet @omni-hamiltrash @darling-elm @jynxlovesluck@madly-handsome@strickenwithclairvoyance@limitededitionsanderssidesblog@ab-artist@sometimeswritingsometimesdying @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @because-were-fam-ily @gattonero17​ @analogical-mess​ @joaniejustwokeup​ @whycantihavemorethan32characters​

---

As time went on, Patton was increasingly aware of how late it was. On the bright side, at least Roman was willing to video chat with him at 2 in the morning. “We’re never listening to one of Remus’s ideas EVER again!”

“Okay, okay, that’s on us,” Roman said. Patton shot him a glare. “Okay, me, that’s on me. Do you think Logan is going to get powers?”

“You are the worst,” Patton said. “Literally the worst.”

“Then why are you calling me?”

“Because Virgil didn’t give me the jar.”

“I have a feeling that you’re mad at me.”

“Do you now?” Patton asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Okay, okay, the skin around your eye is a little, uh, you know,” Roman said. “Just keep your eye shut, tell your parents you have pink eye, and then stay home.”

“Okay.”

“Okay, Virgil and I will be over tomorrow after school. Just text me your address and we can sort this all out tomorrow- test your powers and all that.”

“What about my eye?” Patton asked.

“Well Virgil’s arm went back to normal after a few days,” Roman said. “But then again, he turned purple before he got possessed. I’m not so sure in your case.”

“This isn’t fair. How come Virgil and I get all mutated but you look fine?”

“Excuse you! I have grey roots coming in!”

Patton took a deep breath, knowing that if he screamed he’d get in trouble for being up so late. “My eye is yellow, Roman! YELLOW!”

“Okay, okay,” Roman said, failing to hide his laugh. “Get some rest, you snake-eyed infant. Virgil and I will be around tomorrow afternoon.”

“What about Logan?”

Roman sat back for a moment, stretching out his face in his hands with a sigh. “Logan is... we’ll see. Expect me and Virgil, we’ll see if Specs is up to the challenge.”

“Okay,” Patton whispered. “Okay.”

“Goodnight, kiddo,” Roman laughed.

“Kiddo?” Patton asked but Roman had ended the call before giving a straight answer. He sighed and picked up an old teddy bear. He hugged the stuffed animal to his chest and sighed. “Well, Jack, we’ve got a long day ahead of us.”

Despite Patton’s mind racing with questions, it was late and his body was quick to shut down as soon as his head hit the pillow. His mind felt so active as he slept, as if his brain were made of snakes, untangling themselves and moving in any and all directions. His mind was plagued by a thousand philosophers all speaking in unison with conflicting words and values. It was all so much. So much noise. So much light. So many contradictions!

Patton had slept for six hours, but it had hardly felt like more than fifteen minutes. His head was pounding and he wished he could forget about all of the previous night’s events. He wished he could wake up and this would all be a bad dream. They would have never gone to the cave and Patton would be fine still just hanging out with Emile. No caves, no smoke, nor Roman or Virgil or Logan.

“Moooooooom!” he yelled, not even having the energy to get out of bed. “I don’t feeeeel goooood!” He kept his right eye shut tightly.

“Patton, you can’t just skip school every time you- oh dear lord,” his mother said, sitting on the edge of his bed. “Your eye looks terrible.”

“I think I should stay home,” he said. “Pink eye is awfully contagious.”

“Oh I suppose you’re right,” she said. “Just for today though, okay?”

Patton almost lost his façade. Convincing his mom to let him stay home had never been this easy before, and it always ended with him in some agreement to clean the house. Why was this time so different?

“Thanks, Mama,” he cooed with a bright smile.

“But if you’re staying home, you should at least give yourself a break from that binder. I know what those things can do to your ribs.”

“Fine,” he sighed.

“I love you, Cupcake.”

“I love you too, Mom.”

Patton had gotten dressed quickly, hiding his torso in a large grey hoodie, and grabbed his computer and notebook. He could remember the names of a few philosophers from his dream and he was determined to learn as much about them as possible. He started with the Greeks and, as he saw his reflection in his webcam, decided to write himself a reminder to read up on the gorgon sisters.

He read and reread articles as he wrote notes for the second, third, and fifth time. The names Kant, Plato, and Max Stirner popped up a lot. Patton decided that he certainly did not like Mr. Stirner.

When he heard the doorbell ring he got up in a panic. “Oh, fiddlesticks,” he swore as he looked at the time. He stumbled as he ran out of the room, his body weak from not eating all day.

“Friends of Patton? He didn’t tell me he was having friends over,” he heard his mom saying as he ran through the kitchen.

“It’s sort of last minute,” Roman explained. “We wanted to help him study!”

“Oh! Well, I’m Dot, it’s nice to meet you boys.”

“Roman Duke,” he said with a handshake. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Cupcake, your friends are here,” his mom said with a smile.

“Cupcake?” Virgil asked with a laugh. Patton wanted to hit his head against a wall.

“OkaycoolthanksMombyenow!” Patton said, grabbing Virgil’s hand and running out towards his room. Only, he froze at the door. He hadn’t had time to clean or hide anything. What if they all thought he was childish?

“Patton, did you forget how to open a door?” Logan asked.

“Can we talk out here?”

“I, uh, don’t think that’s our best bet,” Virgil explained. “We need to keep this between us.”

“Okay,” Patton said with a sigh. He opened the door and drowned in the embarrassment of his pink walls and the stuffed animals and dolls that lined his shelves. “Watch your step,” he warned, pointing to the pile of broken glass on the ground. “I, uh, forgot to clean that earlier.”

“Are you okay?” Roman asked. “You’re, like, wobbling or something.”

“I, uh, I’ve been so busy with research,” he explained. “I haven’t had lunch yet. Or, you know, breakfast.”

Roman dropped his book bag in the hallway and pulled something out of it. It was the first time that Patton had noticed that only Roman brought anything in with him. He pulled out a foil rectangle and paused before asking, “You’re not vegan, are you?”

“No,” Patton said.

“Great.” Roman tossed him the foil. “Ham and cheese. Eat up, Kiddo.”

“Thanks, Ro.”

“Oh shit what happened to your eye?” Virgil asked, completely ruining the moment.

“Same thing that happened to your arm.”

“Curious,” Logan said, walking up to Patton and grabbing his face. He poked and prodded at the boy almost as if he forgot he was interacting with another human being. “Very curious.”

“Logan, he’s not a toy,” Virgil said.

“His eye isn’t human.”

“Logan.”

“Maybe this is irreversible.”

“What?!”

“LOGAN ZANDER HAMILTON!” Virgil shouted. “Let go of him.”

Logan released Patton, who quickly wiggled away with his sandwich in hand. Roman couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Your name is Logan Zander Hamilton?”

“Don’t.”

“Logan Zander Hamilton,” Roman sang. “Your name is Logan Zander Hamilton.”

“You’re dead to me.”

“You’re lame,” he retorted, sticking his tongue out like a child.

“Anyway,” Virgil said, rolling his eyes. “Patton, have you had any powers yet?”

“Powers?”

“Anything odd, no matter how small it might seem.”

“I guess?” Patton said. “We should probably step inside.”

All four boys awkwardly stepped around the glass with Virgil and Roman going to sit on Patton’s bed and Logan staying far away on the office chair. “My mom just... let me skip school today,” he said. “No negotiations or protests. I just said I shouldn’t go and she agreed. That never happens!”

“We can’t rule out the possibility of mind control,” Roman said.

“What’s this?” Logan asked, picking up Patton’s notes.

“It’s a notebook, dipshit.”

“Chingas a tu madre.”

“Love you too.”

“Cut it out, Roman,” Virgil scolded.

“I was taking some notes earlier,” Patton explained. “You can take a look if you’d like, but I don’t know if it’ll do us any good.”

“Researching famous philosophers?” Logan asked, his voice sounding genuine for once. “I’m impressed.”

“Has, uh, He told you anything?” Virgil asked. “Remus, he called me ‘Fear’s pet’ and I know that means something.”

“Remus talks to me, sometimes,” Roman admitted. “Giving me... instructions.”

“Like giving me the jar.”

“Like giving you the jar. Sorry about that.”

“Apology considered,” Patton said.

“He talks about Fear sometimes,” he said. He turned to face Patton. “Of Morality.”

“And Knowledge,” Virgil said quietly. “The enemy of fear.”

“So there’s still another one of you guys out there?” Logan asked, looking up from Patton’s notes. “You have incredible handwriting.”

“I try,” Patton said with a smile.

“Not exactly,” Virgil said, exchanging a glance with Roman.

“No,” Roman said. “No way.”

“Roman, if we just follow the plan-”

“No! No, we’re solving one problem at a time and right now that means Patton. Nothing else.”

“What are you guys talking about?”

“The Fourth Spir-“

“This doesn’t concern you, Logan!” Roman yelled.

“Or maybe you can let Virgil speak, asshole,” Logan said.

“Logan, seriously, I’m just trying to protect you.”

“No, you aren’t! None of you care about ‘protecting’ me, you just expect me to solve your problems until things get serious and then you act like I don’t matter!” he yelled. “I’m real fucking sorry that I’m not a complete fucking dumbass who purposefully gets himself involved in this shit-“ He glared at Patton- “but that doesn’t mean you can just exclude me!”

“Lo, I don’t want to exclude you which is why-“

“I don’t have time for your excuses, Virgil,” he snapped. “I’m leaving.”

“How? I’m your ride home,” Virgil said.

“I’ll walk!” And with that, Logan stormed out of the room, slamming the door and causing several toys to fall to the ground. Patton flinched as he ate the last of Roman’s sandwich.

“I’m sorry about that, Patton,” Virgil said. “Roman can be a bit of a drama queen.”

“Oh, you are not blaming this on me!”

“He said it himself that he wants to be included.”

“You know what we went through, Virgil. What Patton went though! I’m not dragging another person into this!”

“But Patton is okay?”

“Are you kidding me?! I feel like shit because of that!”

“Guys, please,” Patton whispered. “Stop fighting. It’s making my head hurt.”

“I’m sorry, Patton. It’s just that- okay, yeah, not helping your head. Sorry.”

“What are you debating?” he asked.

“Logan,” Virgil said.

“And... the fourth Spirit.”

“Well, that’s not ominous at all,” Patton said.

“There’s a way to summon Him- the Spirit of Knowledge. I- I just know it,” Virgil said. “And I think that power should go to Logan. He deserves it more than anyone else I know.”

“But does he deserve the pain?” Roman asked. “Does he deserve to suffocate while faced with the knowledge that his life will never be the same ever again.”

“After that first night? None of our lives will ever be.”

“Our high school lives. What happens when we get older? Go to college? Are you really going to force Logan to be reliant on all of us just because you have a cr-“

“Roman, that’s enough,” Virgil said, the lights in the room going in and out as sparkes jumped between his fingertips.

“Okay, before Virgil destroys my bedroom,” Patton said, grabbing a fresh notebook and taking a seat at the office chair. He scribbled something down quickly in chicken scratch that looked nothing like the handwriting that Logan has complimented. He spun the chair around to face Virgil and Roman. “Have either of you actually asked Logan what he thinks about this?”

“We, uh, well-“

“No.”

“That’s what I thought,” Patton said, shaking his head disapprovingly. “Virgil, you want to make Logan feel included but by keeping this discussion a secret you’re only excluding him even further.”

Virgil nodded, biting his lip as he looked away in shame.

“And Roman,” Patton continued, “not everyone wants to be saved. You can’t protect Logan without him needing to be protected. He’s been with us so far and isn’t it better that we’re a team instead of strangers with these powers?”

“Is one of your powers being captain of the debate team?” Roman asked.

“Nope!” Patton said with a proud smile. “But I am campaigning for that next year!”

“Smart kid,” Virgil said. “Hey, I think your eye is getting better.”

Patton pulled out his phone and examined himself in the camera. “The skin around it is,” he said. “Still yellow, though.”

“Maybe it’s an acceptance thing,” Roman said. He shrugged as the other two gave him questioning looks. “I’ve just noticed that the faster you come to terms with this bullshit, the faster you’re, uh, mutations go away.”

“Roman, you moron, you might be into something.”

“Okay, now you’re sounding like Logan.”

“I take that as a compliment,” Virgil said. “Oh, my cousin is having a Halloween party. Make sure you guys are there.”

“Weird plug, but go on.”

“Think about it, it’s the perfect chance to meet up and, if it’s what Logan chooses, summon the Spirit of Knowledge,” he explained. “And purple skin and a snake eye?” He gestured with his arms open as he leaned back. “No one will question it on Halloween.”

[korranguyen]

I get a feeling br.yke really don't like middle-aged/older career-orientated women? Or at least women who didn't choose motherhood? Because the women who had families and are happily mothers seem to receive kinder treatment (like P3ma and Suy1n) but L1n gets bullshit flung at her and the earth kingdom queen is a villain who dies horribly. T0ph did become a mother but she seemed to be a reluctant one and maybe that's why they made her neglectful and a worse mother than K4tara who was warmer

I don’t know. I don’t think they were intentionally presenting that life choice in itself negatively so much as just misunderstanding the identity of “strong women”? It’s like the adult females of LoK exist in this dichotomy where you can either Shut Up and Make Me a Sandwich™ or be destined to forever be a cold, bitter loner.

In the conventions of Bryke, “happy” families only exist when mothers— namely, Pema, Katara, and Senna— are the feeble extensions of their husband’s legacies who dedicate their entire purpose in life to meandering around the confines of the family home, sucking up their menial housewifery with little to no acknowledgement in return like a fuckin’ floor roomba. Meanwhile, the women who require the space to achieve their own independent goals, ie. Toph and Lin, get kicked to the wayside to bleed as “women who don’t need, don’t want and/or don’t deserve???— considering the sickening implications that come with Housewife Pema being painted as the happy, easy-out option for Tenzin over Lin— male company”. Hell, you even see them start giving Korra this treatment as she matures: she starts off with this teenage girl impulsiveness and we see its development under the pressures of the Civil Wars arc in B2. But then her brashness isn’t treated like an integral part of growing up, but rather as a flaw ingrained in her that needs to be beat out of her so Loud Angry Woman can learn how to “suffer to be more compassionate”???

(... Anyone else notice this... parallel?)

So if the treatment of these women was motivated by an idealism bias, it would’ve been regarding the tendency towards individualism in the first place— not the validity of the fate it eventually leads them to.

If I’m being honest, though, we might just be reading into an accidental byproduct of Bryke’s fetish for contrived family drama and their writing team’s lacking ability to establish characters and conflicts in general. I’m saying this mainly because Kya— while a notable exception to the “rule” as an independent-minded woman whose eventual path in life never gets treated with particularly negative connotations— mainly gets saved from the trope because the “family drama” conflict she partakes in called her into a different role. So it might not be a conscious bias we’re looking at, but rather them blindly running into tropes by the force of bad taste? But still, one could argue that acquiring those tastes in the first place is damning in itself: much like cracking any kind of sardonic joke inherently delivers with it an implied, biased perspective of the subject matter it draws from.

I don’t even know how to address Suyin as a character. She’s written so nonsensically and with zero thought to realistic complexity— Woman with five (5) children!!!! Who runs a city!!!! And has 500 individuality-establishing activities!!!! But somehow never runs into time-management or internal identity-defining issues!!!! And apparently has a thing against established monarchy but somehow supports the ascent of the next monarchal ruler!!!! And is somehow righteous for condemning and disowning her adopted daughter and taking in her son, who participated in these same activities, with loving arms, no questions asked, with zero addressing of her bullshit bias*!!!!— that the only explanation I can think of for her character is that Bryke wanted to respond to their feminist critics without affecting the positions of their previous characters and gave us “One (1) PERFECT UNTOUCHABLE STRONG MOMMA!!! Problem = solved”. Especially considering this change of mind to the “empty yourself to a husk of your man or be a self-centered, volatile, lonely woman” dichotomy wound up being all-too-clearly superficial when they introduced Toph in the next season as the epitome of the latter trope: some asshole who ran away to a swamp to avoid her family for her own interests, with little to no concern to others’ internal conflicts, and even admits to being a bad mother with little regret in her voice.

(Sidenote: the way they treated Toph in LOK probably pisses me off the most, because the whole point of her character arc in ATLA was that identifying as the “tough tomboy individualist” she was didn’t need to detract from her ability to empathize, and her growth throughout the series was interpersonal: a young girl learning to open up and rely on others)

Now, as an American, I actually think Suyin being the “motherhood trope breaker” could’ve worked (at least on some level) if we had gotten to see her directly challenge that choice as well. Because the shitty reality is, because of the double standards of soft essentialism in first-world conceptions of gender roles (women are considered the “more-diverse types” who can “choose” between career and home tasks, while men nearly always have the affirmation of being “destined” as the career-oriented breadwinners— making the female choice more of an illusion when you’re practically obligated to be the one to step down in that familial situation), women do often wind up stuck between their drive for individualism and their desire to raise family, and pointing that out through the matriarch of a major city could’ve been a very compelling character arc. But unfortunately, by dodging this point, Suyin’s presence in the series ultimately served to make it even more obvious that the writers have no idea what being a mother is like.

*Maybe they will address this in Ruins of the Empire. It looks like they’re taking that route. I would be pleasantly surprised and delighted to see it— provided I summon the time and motivation to read it.

[nenastrology]

Please talk about johnny joestar he is my favorite jojo character and your brain is huge

anon you are the only one i respect i swear to god im constantly thinking about him.. ok this is going under a cut out of respect for everyone who follows me who doesnt give a shit about jojo or part 7 and its gotten horrifically long im sorry

see this is where me actually liking part 1 and having rewatched the non hamon battle parts like 4 times finally pays off because i can mentally go into constant excruciating detail about like the ways part 1 is reimagined and like how they are both essentially the disfavored son in comparison to a brother but like jonathan is given a conflict that can directly contend with his family issues like he can punch dio and work that out hes given a perfectly laid out heroic quest to solve his turmoil and also confront if dio really is like better than him johnny is given no like easily narrative closure to those similar fears he could never like prove if he is better than his like very human extremely normal brother like he couldnt beat him in a race and like be like tee hee im the better horse racer or something and like side note jolynes definitely given the best version of the narrative conflict tying into familial and emotional issues that she like is both coming to terms with her relationship with her father while also like fighting a villain with ties to dio and like understanding what he went through and like she also like becoming her own self and reconciling with him all that shit ok back to johnny..

genuinely hes like the only jojo with a real arc… like id say jolyne and hermes are definitely like prototypes for characters experiencing um development and their past issues with their family and whatever like being part of how they grow and like become closer and trust each other but like johnny and gyro are the finally realized conclusion of araki being dragged into learning what character development is idk i really love johnnys entire journey that like he finally has somebody who gives a shit about him and he has like something he actually cares about that like ends up pulling him out of his aimlessness and he discovers how ruthless and driven he can be it drives me absolutely insane how nobody seems to um get his character that hes like some soft uwu boy when hes like absolutely one of the most ruthless and definitely the biggest asshole of all the jojos like god its sooo funny how like jonathan and dio its like dio has all the asshole energy and also they grew up together so theres reason for the animosity but johnny and diego have the same level of asshole energy and johnnys first reaction to seeing a dude who beat him at horse racing a few years ago like probably mortally wounded is just like hm he can die i really hate that guy but they barely know each other nobody gets it man…

but back to other things god im sorry i mean you know how disorganized i am you signed up for this sending me this ask jsd;dks; idk like god the fact that the fights actually became vehicles for character development forcing johnny and gyro to each face their own fears and like come to terms with what they truly value really gets me like johnny finally able to like go from idk needing to just be selfish out of survival instinct because everyone who had cared about him rejected him and like being forced to pick between the like thing he thought was giving his life meaning (the corpse parts) and gyro who was actually what was making the journey worthwhile and like he really for a moment thought he couldnt do it like didnt know if he had it in him at like his lowest point there and like he realizes hes far stronger than he thought he was and that he ultimately will do whatever he has to for the people he loves which like all really comes full circle with the lil flashback in part 8 showing johnnys death like that sugar mountain saying those who lose everything will ultimately gain everything well he does finally get the corpse back and in his possession and when he finally has it like its purely to use it to save his wife and son and like his sacrifice both tying back to jonathan and erina and like everything he learned in the course of sbr like ugh ;w; its sooo sad but ultimately like the perfect ending even if im gonna go like weep now..

im really saying things and going nowhere i havent even gotten back to his father oh my god i really love that like after hearing his father be proud of him like he literally just rides away and ultimately doesnt finish the race that like its this weird odd melancholy way of ending the whole thing like he idk stops when he needs to stop and has like found his own self worth apart from his fathers approval also hm its very weird i think later on how his disability is written that like literally some of the first things johnny says in the entire story is that him saying its the story of him learning to walk again is not in the literal sense but in the metaphorical sense but then by i guess convention that araki got too lazy to figure out how to make some of the later fights work and i guess because he hates metaphors that arent pounded into ur skull cuz i guess if u are making the stupid choice to read jojo u are stupid enough to need everything spelled out for u he decided he needed some other way to signify johnnys growth and its just very awkward and weird when like the whole story is him becoming more at peace with his past and everything that has happened to him its lazy and stupid and whatever ok i literally am like forcing myself to stop typing because im feeling the deep shame kick in because i dont think ive written this much about any character other than like yusuke or sasuke probably and i feel like the little spray bottle in the back of my mind that activates when i think too hard about jojo but like ok ive said my piece you may ask me more specific questions if u want me to elaborate.. whatever stan johnny joestar… this whole text wall was me coming to terms with him probably being my favorite jojo..

[breakingarrows]

The Duology of Sherlock Holmes and A Game of Shadows

[This was originally published on VerticalSliceMedia.com in 2018 and is republished from the latest draft I have]

Holding Sherlock Holmes dear to my heart I was delighted to watch the 2009 adaptation directed by Guy Ritchie and starring Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law. Having started reading the classic novels and short stories during junior year of high school, the release of the film only propelled me further into the many adaptations of the character and continually draws me into new ones. The soundtrack is great, the action fit the canon, the chemistry between our two lead actors is entertaining, and the mystery is fun to follow due to the truth hiding underneath the shadow of the supernatural, something past Holmes’ story The Hound of the Baskervilles did to great effect. Two years later and all the key people return for A Game of Shadows, this time featuring Holmes’ greatest adversary, Professor Moriarty. While my younger self initially enjoyed the film as a follow up, frequent viewings and thinking since has degraded it to a mediocre follow up with some bright spots to save it from utter failure.

Immediately apparent in Sherlock Holmes (2009) is that the film does not shy away from, and instead embraces, the fact that the Holmes of the classic novels was physically adept and knowledgeable in hand to hand combat. The film combines this with his rapid deductions, as he observes a combatants physical body for weaknesses and proceeds to list out the varying blows and strikes necessary to knock them out. This is done at the very beginning as he infiltrates Blackwoods ritualistic killing grounds and again later during an underground boxing match. A Game of Shadows succeeds in expanding upon this, with an introductory fight flashing images and heightened sounds in place of a methodical breakdown. Holmes later gives a detailed breakdown but is interrupted by Zimza’s throwing knives midway through its execution. Lastly, his mental projections are turned against him, as Moriarty recognizes it and begins his own list of counters and blows until Holmes realizes his ultimate defeat. These scenes are a clever combination of the often overlooked fact that Holmes was an excellent fighter in addition to his wealth of knowledge. Deductions on the opponents status and likely responses, as well as their time of recovery, are medically detached. This matches Holmes’ approach to not just criminal cases but interpersonal matters.

 Humor in the 2009 film came from dialogue between Holmes and Watson and the formers manic energy when moving around the scene. From his thinly contained panic at the presence of Irene Adler, to shutting down when Watson proposes a meeting with his soon-to-be-fiance, Mary Morstan, Robert Downey Jr. does a phenomenal job portraying Holmes in all of his eccentricities. A Game of Shadows continues this but tends to rely on greatly exaggerated scenarios. Holmes crossdresses in order to infiltrate a train; his brother walks around fully naked despite the presence of Mary; Holmes drives an automobile of his own design, and has a fear, or distrust, of horses to the point that he rides a miniature one. Due to A Game of Shadows’ reliance on an excess of the strange, the humor fails to capitalize on the success of the first. Even the dialogue, one of the greatest assets of the original, is jeopardized by a recycled conflict.

 In Sherlock Holmes (2009) the primary conflict is the mystery regarding Blackwood’s return from the dead and his end goal. The secondary conflict is that Watson is moving in with his future-fiance Mary. Holmes does not want this to happen but can’t outright say it because to do so would be to acknowledge his attachment to Watson. In Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows the primary conflict is the mystery regarding Moriarty’s bombings and his end goal. The secondary conflict is that Watson is marrying and leaving on honeymoon with Mary and Holmes does not want this to happen but can’t outright say it because to do so would be to acknowledge his attachment to Watson. While the primary conflict differentiates itself by playing on international tension in Europe and the inevitability of the first world war, I cannot forgive the recycling of tension underlying Holmes’ and Watson’s relationship.

 At the end of the 2009 film, Holmes regifts Irene Adler’s stolen gem to Watson as an engagement ring. This serves as both an apology for causing Watson to lose the original one during the case and as his blessing in regards to their union. However in A Game of Shadows it is reverted back to Holmes complaining about how Watson is making a mistake in marrying Mary. It is as if the filmmakers could not come up with another secondary conflict. They could have centered it around Holmes’ self-destruction during his obsession with Moriarty and Watson’s attempts to stem the tide of mortality threatening to consume Holmes. Or they could have evolved the Watson versus Sebastian Moran angle they so desperately wanted to play into but potentially left open for a undeveloped third film. Instead we retread a conflict solved by the first, something that really sullies sequels and other Sherlock adaptations. Star Trek: Into Darkness was criticized for retreading Kirk’s stubbornness, and by the fourth season of the BBC’s Sherlock series people were tired of Holmes constantly teetering between an asshole and caring about those around him.

 Matching RDJ’s manic portrayal of Holmes is the soundtrack to the 2009 film, which has a cohesion and energy to it that creates a wonderful album that frequently drives my focus when working or writing. Each track has a recurring reliance on violin and piano for its core sound. One of my favorite pieces of trivia regarding the soundtrack is Hans Zimmer’s quote, “We rented 20th Century Fox’s underground car park one Sunday and did hideous things to a piano.” Tracks vary between rise and falls of volume, with the opening track “Discombobulate” being the greatest example as the opening features a few light notes before a sharp change to bombastic orchestra. Another standout is “Not in Blood, But in Bond” which accompanies a slow-motion, audio-drained scene of a dock being blown apart. The drab violin solo gives way to a mournful orchestra to accentuate the emotion of the scene.

 While Hans Zimmer returns for A Game of Shadows the full soundtrack features too many tracks that simply do not fit the mood of the rest. The opening three tracks form one long theme and acts with the intention to usurp “Discombobulate”, as the introduction is nearly the same. However, instead of an instant jump into bombast, it is a long, drawn out process with some crescendos that crash like waves in and out. “Tick Tock” is the standout for this album, as it patiently builds and builds until it finally breaks into a full on sprint forward, spilling its energy into the next track. Unfortunately, “It’s So Overt It’s Covert”, “Romanian Wind”, “To The Opera!”, “Two Mules for Sister Sara”, and “Die Forelle” cause such confusion as to the overall tone of the soundtrack that it derails the quality.

 A successor to “Not in Blood, But in Bond” is seen in “Zu Viele Füchse Für Euch Hänsel” which plays during a great sequence in which our heroes are attempting to escape Moriarty’s forces in a forest. The framerate frequently slows down to showcase bullets destroying the surrounding trees. An inspired section within this sequence shows the camera moving in unison with the positioning, loading, and firing of a large artillery gun. This camera movement plays into the soundtracks transference of energy from the film into the audience by transforming the camera from a still observer to active participant. Sadly small glimmers of high quality such as this cannot save the otherwise mundane sequel.

 Irene Adler’s insertion among the conflict of the first film, as both an interested third party and clever way to lean into Moriarty for the sequel, was wonderfully done. She brings about a panic in Holmes when she first appears, with her legacy as making an “ass” out of Holmes twice. Such a strong character with a unique relationship with Holmes has such potential that it was a shock to see her removed so early on in A Game of Shadows. I understand the reasoning behind it though, as killing Irene both establishes Moriarty’s cruelty and capability given her status as a beloved figure in both our and Holmes’ hearts and her history of beating Holmes at his own game, twice. The scene itself is evocative, as Moriarty causes the entire restaurant to exit upon his cue and kills Irene via poison despite her request for a fresh batch of tea to be served in place of what was awaiting her. Causing the exit of one strong character to establish the arrival of the villain is effective, but the impact doesn’t have much weight beyond the initial shock. Moriarty’s intent to harm Watson establishes his cruelty on its own and his capability is shown via a misdirection when Holmes goes to the opera instead of the hotel wherein a bombing compounds the already present anxiety between European countries. New character Zimza subs in for Irene but fails to deliver anything close to the performance of Rachel McAdams.

 Most of A Game of Shadows feels rushed and lacking much thought. The removal of Irene Adler early on makes a good initial impact emotionally but lacks any depth upon further reflection. Holmes gives his life, but that sacrifice is cheapened by a final reveal. While I understand the necessity behind having to show Holmes alive for a still-undeveloped third film, it removes any emotion of his sacrifice to eliminate Moriarty out of fear for Watson and Mary’s life. Disguises are overdone instead of subtle, the soundtrack frequently undermines itself, and some character interactions just fall flat. A conflict between Holmes and Watson is recycled, the humor continually fails to do anything clever, and while Moriarty proves to be a sinister and entertaining antagonist, it doesn’t save the movie from failing to continue the success of the first. Sherlock Holmes (2009) is an excellent adaptation of Holmes and Watson in their comradery, in Watson’s own capability separate from Holmes, in the exemplification of Holmes’ combat prowess, and as a mystery with supernatural leanings that turn out to be scientific in nature. Given more time I do believe a third film could be great, I just wish A Game of Shadows was better than it is.

[tumblunni]

Wow i had such a weird dream?? The story itself wasnt too unusual, just an emotional moment of an anime that doesnt exist, but the way the dream delivered it was really confusing!

The plot of this apparant anime was that there was some sort of ragtag group of monster people wandering the earth looking for a place they could belong without being hated. And i got the feeling here that they'd just found a place where things were going good, but the show's recurring villains appeared and revealed their secret to the town and now they had to flee again as everyone they thought was a friend took up pitchforks against them.

And the main focus character was really interesting? I dont think he was actually the protagonist but he got the focal role in this episode. Cos the monsters had to disguise themselves as humans to live in this town, and this was the youngest monster who didnt know how to do that yet. He had a really emotional struggle of pushing himself so hard to try and master this skill, because he was actually unique amoung the group for being a monster that was actually once human. So it was a combination of frustration at being a burden to his new friends, with desperation to finally see his own face in the mirror again.

And I feel like maybe before he became a monster he was bigoted against them and scared of them? Within the dream i recalled watching that other episode some other day, and apparantly it was super emotional. It started off just seeming like another 'we find the town of the day along our journey and meet some friends and/or solve a conflict' type thing. And this kid was mostly antagonistic through the episode, a dumb naive kid who believed everything negative about monsters and now struggled with the situation of being the only one who knew the truth that these guys are monsters but also now theyre doubting whether they should reveal it because these people seem so..normal?? And scared?? Starts to doubt whether all the other monsters executed by the corrupt church in their town were fully sentient too, and every time the 'nice' priest was teaching them how to spot liars he was really teaching them how to kill innocent monster people who were just as scared as the humans are of them. But the roots of gaslighting and abuse from this priest ran deep, so the kid struggled with the choice and ultimately made the wrong decision. Also i think maybe theres a reveal that the priest was actually their biological dad too, just for even more levels of why theyd make that wrong decision. And more reasons why its horrifying that the priest dad just treats his kid like shit once they outlived their usefulness. Im thinking something like the kid tries to make up for their mistake and save the protagonists but they get captured by their dad and like.. Ok holy fuck this dude is outright willing to murder his son and he's eminantly aware that these monster people are 100% sentiebt because he's using the threat of killing his son as a way to get them to lay down their weapons and agree to be recaptured. And then i think there was something super messed up when it was revealed all the monster attacks that happened to the town to get them so scared and paranoid were actually orchestrated by the priest as a form of control over his citizens. He had some sort of Ominous Doom Science to both turn people into monsters and control them to do his bidding. And like the predictable asshole he is, even after the protagonists gave up in order to save the kid he still killed him anyway. And after snapping his neck he threw him down into the prison cell with the protagonists and was like 'lets torment them by making them fight the kid they wanted to save'. Because it turned out he'd been doping the kid with a special dose of the monster formula ever since birth, and he was his 'secret weapon' all along without knowing it. Ultra super mega concentrated doom form of the artifical monsters he uses in his army, activated upon the moment of the kid's death. But then it turns out the ultimate experiment was too much for him to control and the kid was able to keep their mind in their new form, and turn against him to save their new friends. But when they realized what had happened to them, they broke down in fear. And everything was super depressing cos the protagonists knew this poor kid was now doomed to share their fate as monsters, and theyd have to take them away fron everythung theyd ever known in order to keep them safe. But also heartwarming at the same time because the kid had never known a truly loving family before, and as they passed out in the arms of main protagonist mom friend werewolf they felt like maybe this is what having a real family is like...

So anyway that led to a bit of an angsty team dynamic with this new recruit? The kid was obviously all new to monsterness and terrified of everything. But also even now they were struggling with that 'what if my abusive dad is right' instinct drilled into them from all those years. They still struggled with really believing that monsters arent evil, and like 'no i must have only disobeyed him because i was infected and i didnt know it, monsters are evil and i became one because i'm evil too'. Unwilling to believe that their dad did that to them and trying to find excuses where it would be their own fault. Maybe the kid was even tricked by another villain at some point who lied about having a cure? Like even whenthey became more able to trust their new monster friends they were still like 'theyd be happier if they became normal right?' Lots of angst and messing up and this poor kid feeling not only weak and useless to the team but also outright toxic to them.

So all of this led to this situation where disguising yourself as a human is a skill all the other team members already mastered and this kid is struggling real hard to accomplish it in order to save the day. Ans its extra depressing cos they havent seen their original human face in months, and theyre trying to cling onto the memories but scared they migjt forget what it was like to be human. And then i cant really recall all the details but i feel like the writing and cinematography were just super amazing emotional on this scene of the kid struggling to Do The Thing in time to save their friends, and like.. Atone for all their mistakes.

Also i think like the kid had this big super kaiju ultimate chimera form which was what their dad designed them to be, but also most of the time they were poofed into a tiny mascot sized version of that. And theycd never actually managed to control their powers enough to turn into their battle form willingly until now. Just this super depressing and also uplifting scene of this fuckin tiny monster kid being pinned to the ground underneath the villain's heel, trying desperately to turn human again to save their friends. And i think it was an awesome moment where they did manage to regain their old face for just a few seconds, but instead of actually learning to master the human transformation they learned to master their battle form instead. Like, accepting that that old face isnt who they are anymore, and it wont help like they thought it would. What they really need now is their REAL face! Some sort of dramatic badass speech about this that cuts the villain's philosophy right in half, and then a badass scene of tiny kid finally being able to control (and not be scared of!) their beast form, and fight the whole damn army singlehandedly to save their friends!

Also i think there was an extra emotional moment somewhere along the way where one of yhe villain generals was like 'no, stop, i want to see if they can do this', and actually started motivating the kid. Like i think they were a brainwashed soldier of the old priest bastatd who was sent to kill these monsters supposedly to avenge the priest's dead kid but they were actually starting to have doubts when this terrifying monster that 'killed them' seemed to act so much like a child. So this was the big moment of them finall believing the kid, and getting to see proof it really was them and the priest really was a manipulative evil bastard all along. So i think they switched sides and joined super powered up kiddo in fighting their fellow knights, giving them the keys to go free their friends. And possibly this knight person also joined the team after this and was the first proper human ally theyd ever had? And probably had loads of emotional plots of atoning

ANYWAY that was the cool really engaging story of my dream that i wish i could watch a real anime about!

But the weird part was that this was all delivered really fragmented cos of how little sleep ive had lately. I was seeing it in the form of (for some reason) laying down on the stairs at my abusive father's old house, listening to it playing on the tiny tv he had in his room. And you may have noticed i kept mixing up the kid's pronouns, thats because everyone in the dream was represented visually by a character from some other franchise and it was REALLY confusing! The kid was like an amalgamation of all the dudes from Wolf's Rain which i guess is where the concept of wandering monsters in human illusion came from. (Tho they werent all reverse werewolves like in that show) It was weird cos i knew this character was meant to be a child but they looked like five ripped teenagers smooshed together? Cos i havent seen that show in ages and couldnt even remember the protagonist's name. (Was someone called Hide or is that a guy from tokyo ghoul? I think they had the outfit of the tokyo ghoul guy.) And then predictably the evil priest dad was cornello from full metal alchemist mixed with my old doctor who had the same name. But less predictably the redeemed villain holy paladin knight guy was replica riku from kingdom hearts?? Ans specifically his medal from the app game, like he came with a floating medal attatched to his waist like a mermaid who was also a coffee table.

Also it just ended with a floating box of hair dye that turned to face the camera and it was actually coffee in a hair dye package. Like an exact replica of the blonding bleach i usually use, right down to every detail, but all the text was replaced with coffee info. I..i dont know what that has to do with anything else that just happened...

Oh also i think maybe one of the other teammates was a big cuddly 50-something circus ringleader type guy? He was the friendly comic relief but actually deep downn the most tormented of all of them. He'd been imprisoned as a circus attraction for most of his entire life and dressing up like a ringleader now he was free was kinda a way of coping? But yeh i think he bonded well with the kid cos they both didnt have much experience with being free and everything seemed new and scary. This guy also didnt have much experience of monster society either cos he'd been enslaved since he was a child. Man this anime sounds so fuckin intense and dark and emotional but also full of powerful friendship!! Why cant i watch any more episodes!! give me a sequel dream!!

[buffyverse-rewind]

S6 E5 “Life Serial”

Augh, I hate this episode. Is this review probably going to be biased?  Yeah, probably.  I’ve literally put off watching this episode for weeks.  

Right off the bat we have Buffy coming back from her off screen rendezvous would Angel, bringing home a bucket of chicken, taken by surprise by the fact that the others have already eaten.  

(Sigh) Seriously, I know this was early 2000s, and Buffy may or may not have had a cellphone, but who comes back from out of town after, what, at least a day or two, and stops to pick up a family dinner without first checking with the family if you should?

But never mind that, what the actual hell Giles?  Buffy’s home a minute and she’s supposed to have her life plans figured out?  He’s not necessarily wrong to want to engage her on that subject, but come on, asking her out of the blue like that, apropos of nothing and in front of everyone?  Why right then?  Why not give her a little after whatever drama you know probably went down with Angel, and more importantly, why wait until you can have this conversation with Buffy privately, when the two of you are alone?  

But of course the segue into Giles’ question is that “they’ve been talking about Buffy’s plans” – meaning that Giles and the others were discussing what Buffy should do with her life without her; which is super classy.  Girl was dead for months, back a week and everyone’s so concerned she doesn’t have life all figured out.  Fuck you Giles.  What happened to the tactful, thoughtful Giles from season 3, who was the only one in the group with concern for Buffy’s emotional well being; and actually took the time to draw out from her the issue that was bothering her about how things went down with Angel at the end of season 2, so that she wouldn’t feel pressured or backed into a corner?

And then there’s the fucking Trio…. God I hate this season.  Like, Warren was pretty much an asshole from his first episode, so him as a recurring villain doesn’t surprise me.  Andrew is… Whatever.  He was invented for the purposes of this plot and he continues to serve whatever purpose the plot dictates.  But come on, Jonathan should arguably be better than this.  Yeah, he’s done fucked up on a couple of occasions, but the idea that he would out and out be on board with intentionally being a super villain or criminal is ridiculous.

A bigger issue here of course, as is often the case with the conventional depiction of most “super villains” is the sheer redundancy of their goals.  They want to be rich and powerful yet have all of these resources that already suggest they already are.  I mean, Jesus Christ, with all the shit Warren can do, why does he even need to mess with the Slayer?  Why does he have to do any of this?  He could go to Silicon Valley and practically print his own money and do whatever the fuck all he wants to do; legal or not and he’d be rich enough to get away with it.

The time dilation part of the episode makes zero fucking sense.  What exactly is happening with Buffy from Tara’s point of view that she continues to go about her day like Buffy isn’t just frozen in place?  At one point she even just leaves Buffy behind.

And then there’s Buffy’s day with Xander.  Can I just say, “Fucking Xander.”  It has nothing to do, necessarily, with what’s happening in the plot, just in general that Xander is a fucking tool.

Now of course, there’s the scene itself and Xander…. Well, he’s not strictly a tool in this scene, but he does seem to be a fucking idiot.  I mean, Jesus Xander, have you only just met Buffy?  You’re acting like you haven’t fought demon possessed robots or been possessed by a Hyena; and feel the need to tell Buffy not to talk about the strange things you all encounter on a regular basis.  Although considering that “Tony” the foreman also lives and works in Sunnydale, evil lint is probably the least crazy sounding thing he’s heard about or seen firsthand.  For that matter, neither should the creatures that attack them later.  This show loves to have its cake and eat it too; Sunnydale is a hotbed for paranormal activity, high mortality rates, all manner of demons casually going about their day; yet it’s still supposed to be like any other run of the mill city where no one has ever seen nothin’ out of the ordinary and skepticism abounds.

And then Xander introduces Buffy to the less than enthusiastic crew, gives her no kind of job orientation and promptly ditches her to work elsewhere; so… yeah… even when he’s doing Buffy a favor getting a job, Xander’s kind of a tool here too.

(Sigh)  Why do you have to go and ruin a perfectly fun Groundhog Day-esque time loop trope with this crap?  And come on, this causes Buffy to never want to work in the magic shop afterwards, that she’d rather work at the fucking Double Meat Palace?  She’s at the shop all the fucking time otherwise, why not get paid to fucking be there?  

And she didn’t include shipping, well that’s on fucking Giles and Anya for not properly training her, or making sure her first sale was done right.  Jesus tap dancing Christ, this episode pisses me off.

And if the fucking hand can move on its own, why is it just out where it could escape or something? How did Anya or Giles expect to find it when they need it, let alone catch it or package it?  How was it transported there in the first place? Why didn’t Buffy fucking ask for help?? God, I hate when writers have to resort to making the characters idiots in order to make the plot happen.

And was Buffy saying the hand was just “playing dead” a nod to Monty Python’s Dead Parrot sketch? Because if so, fuck you.  Don’t besmirch the Python with this shit. (Warren’s line pretty much confirms this.  So yeah, fuck you.)

If time is looping, how are the Three Amigos watching each loop?  Is time only looping within the shop? If so, how does the unsatisfied customer keep coming back?

And fucking playing poker for God damn fucking kittens…. Fuck season 6.

 Does this episode get credit for introducing us to Clem?

…. No… Because what the hell do they actually do with him, other than use him for comic relief?  He becomes Spike’s funny looking sidekick.  

Because drunk Buffy was such a comic winner in “Beer Bad,” the writers felt the need to revisit it.

Now, you see Giles, this is when you should be talking to Buffy about her life and her plans; you’re alone and these things are on her mind. She doesn’t need to have the answers, but you could be helping her find the path that might lead to those answer. THAT is what she needs.  The check is arguably appreciate too in the meantime, but given that he’s so concerned about her being dependent on him that he soon leaves the fucking country, this last scene may or may not be misstep for you. You could be making the case for her to come back to the magic shop.  You could be helping her figure out other ways of supporting herself financial that wouldn’t interfere with her Slaying; which no matter what anyone else is says, is her job; one for which she doesn’t get paid, but takes first priority over everything in her life, including her life and expecting her to find a job that she can live on that won’t conflict with that is just absurd.

Let her using the training space in the back of the shop to offer self-defense classes.  My personal preference would be for the two of them to open a funeral home together.  It makes all sort of sense as a front for a Slayer; you have early access to the recently deceased, it explains you coming and going from all of the cemeteries.  I say mix some holy water in with the embalming fluid and the instant a new vamp turns they go poof.

But barring that, just sign your fucking share of the magic box ownership over to Buffy.  Maybe that’s too unfair to Giles.  After all, it’s his business, his income, but he doesn’t apparently need it.   The only reason he bought the business in the first place wasn’t because he needed the money, but because he was bored; and now he intended to be a silent partner in the business while he did fuck all in England.  His status as a reinstated Watcher is ambiguous at best, but at the very least he got some hefty back-pay and may still be receiving a check from them. Meanwhile, if Buffy got his share of the magic shop business, it may not be much, but it would ostensibly be enough to keep Buffy afloat.  She could be as much of an active or silent partner as Giles was.

But oh, no, that would solve all the contrived problems that Buffy is facing this season.  Giles wouldn’t have a reason to leave (which would presumably cement his status as active Watcher, meaning he’d definitely still be receiving his own separate income from the Council, while ensuring Buffy’s financial security.)  Buffy might have found the strength to confide more so in Giles than in Spike and avoid that toxic relationship. Who knows if Giles being around would have made much of a difference with Willow, seeing as he was there for Tabula Rasa, but maybe he would have stepped in before things escalated following Amy’s return. But I digress.  I hate this episode.

[skhanyisoblose]

How To handle fight or disagreement properly in relationship ?

So after all good answers that members have contributed these question on Quora   “ what Couse fight in relationship ?”  . I think it also important to know how handle fight properly when it already stated .As you know that fights or disagreements are unplanned they just happened unexpectedly and unintentional. So it is beneficial to know how to handle them properly .

So below are my 10 rules or tips that we can use to handle fight / disagreement in relationship .Some of them maybe hard to follow for the first time but the more you practice them the better you will be in terms of solving disagreements with your partner.

1.If you feel a slow burn, STOP! Often when you get mad it feels like an eruption. You feel a rush of anger or rage that sweeps your entire body and mind. It may feel like you lose your train of thought or you forget what you want to say. You want to explode at the other person. Stop! It’s not the right time to talk.

2.Remember this is not your enemy. Right now, your survival system sees your beloved as a threat, the enemy, and a source of pain. Only survival counts. So you may feel inclined to say anything, fight with all your might, win at all costs. It’s a big mistake!

3.Avoid mental/emotional associations with your love or marriage relationship that don’t serve you. When you get upset you are “activated.” Your survival system has begun making associations, or links, between your beloved and those who hurt you in the past. An inner voice may be saying things like: “This is what all women do.” Or: “This is what my Dad used to do, and I don’t want to be in a relationship with my dad.”

4.Take a “time out.” Ask: “Am I too upset to resolve this right now?” If the answer is yes, you need a break and some distance. Notice, I didn’t say storm out. I didn’t say, slam the door, bolt to your car, and burn rubber as you speed away. Keep your head and say, “I am too upset to talk about this right now. I need a break and to get out of here for a little while. Let’s talk later.” Sometimes tiny skirmishes dissipate naturally. If you feel the anger dissipate naturally, let it go.

5.Stay on the topic at hand. “Emotional vomiting” is off limits. This is not an opportunity to unload all the upsets you have not been holding in. Let some things go. If you use this as a dumping ground you will start a painful fighting cycle with no end.

6.Let your partner save face. If you are fighting over who’s right and who’s wrong, you will both lose. In a one couple’s counseling session, the woman kept correcting the man’s memory of the facts. Then she complained about how mean he was getting when he asserted his memory. She didn’t see that he needed room to save face and feel like he was right, too. She needed to drop the facts. Ask yourself, “Do I want a harmonious love relationship or to be right?”

7.Both partners must get a full turn. To start say: “OK, let’s take turns. You go first and I will listen, and then let you know what I have heard you say. When you are done, it will be my turn to speak.” If he says, “I am angry that you leave the counter dirty,” say, “What I hear you saying is that it makes you mad.” Then you can ask, “Why does this make you angry? How else does that make you feel?” When you have heard your partner’s point of you, it will be your turn to talk about your feelings. Make a sincere effort to fix upset areas.

8.Try to stand in your partner’s shoes and see the world from his/her point of view. Wanting to understand does not mean you are “giving in” or being weak. It means your love or marriage relationship comes first. You want to the bottom of the conflict so you can resolve it. Being understood is the number one diffusion technique in any conflict. It can prevent years of marriage counseling. You can say, “What I hear you saying is …” Drop your pride and be willing to say that you apologize even if you don’t think you did anything wrong. Intentions are not always interpreted as they were meant. You say, “I am sorry, I do see how it could have come across that way.” Only then will they be open to hear your point of view.”

9.Offer a heart-felt apology. It doesn’t matter that you didn’t intend to do anything wrong if the other person in your marriage or love relationship feels offended. You can say, “I am sorry. I do apologize for that. I can see your point of view and imagine how that would feel.”

10.Do not under any circumstances call names. When you call your love a bitch, bastard, whore, asshole, idiot, stupid, and so on, you are being abusive. You may win the current battle but your marriage or romance will suffer. Don’t be surprised if you need marriage counseling or your love relationship suffers.

Keep in mind, both of you have a right to feel the way you do. What counts is being heard and understood. Your friendship, love or marital relationship can grow, deepen and be a place of safety, love and expansion when you follow these simple rules.

You might be interested in 10 strong relationship tips to make it stronger and healthy .

[baskingintheinsanity]

Disturbia: Chapter 7

A/n: Yes, I am aware it has been years since I updated this story. I am not dead. And it is not abandoned. I’m just a human trashcan sometimes. I have been verrrrry busy. Like hey I got into a PHD program kind of busy, so that’s cool. But I really want to start spending more of my limited free time on fanfiction and my original stuff. So enjoyyyyy. Again, I’m sorry for the wait.

 Klaus’ POV

This was impossible. She was impossible. How was I supposed to believe in her? Did she not know I hadn’t truly believed in anything for a millennia?

I started shaking my head and couldn’t stop, refusal was my only defense against her. She found a way in without my noticing and I couldn’t stop it; she was inside me, my thoughts and my heart or whatever I had left in place of that.  

“Why would you want that, Caroline?”

She blinked, startled by my sudden quiet tone, “Why do I want you to have faith in me? Why wouldn’t I? I already…I already kind of blurted out that I…care for you,” she swallowed, almost uncomfortable with admitting again that she cared for me, but then why would anyone willingly admit such a thing?          

“Look, I know that character flaws like insecurities and daddy issues can’t be changed in like… a week, but all I’m asking for is for you to maybe acknowledge that I’m not just someone you enjoy shagging against a wall,” I had to smirk in despite of my mood upon noticing that she was starting to mimic my speech, “And I know that you’ve had multiple lifetimes for your deranged ideas to be cemented in your mind, but believe me, someone is capable of loving you and she’s standing right here and she kind of feels like an idiot with how you’re staring at her like a psycho…”

My brows furrowed, conflicting emotions of outrage and some strange sense of amused endearment for her preventing me from settling on a response, which in turn ended up with me indeed staring at her like a madman. This woman, the only person that can make me look remotely foolish.

“Daddy issues?”

She deadpanned, possibly out of surprise that my anger had deflated slightly in place of shock at her boldness. I doubt I’ll ever be sure of the motivations behind her actions.

“Seriously? That’s what you choose to focus on? I’m being serious, Klaus.”

“I know,” I gestured to her face, “You’ve got the little crinkle in your nose you get when you’re upset.”  Hold on, when did I start mentally cataloguing her mannerisms in reference to her emotions, or at all?

This won’t work. I’ve proven to myself I am not capable of this. The sooner she learns it, the better.

I shook my head as her eyebrows shot up at my out of character comment, “I meant that I know you’re serious, but I don’t know how you wish this conversation to end.”

“I just told you what I wanted you to say! I literally just laid out how I wanted the conversation to go, do I have to spell out every word?”

“I know exactly what you want me to say, Caroline!” I pushed myself into her personal space, a tactic I used that usually ended up paralyzing the other person in intimidation, yet she stayed exactly where she was. Perhaps she’s used to me being in her personal space, or maybe my first impression of her was right and she is simply brave beyond measure. And misguided.

“That I love you, that you mean something to me, that we will be happy by each other’s sides for the rest of our immortal existence, but do you know what the real issue is, Caroline?? I don’t WANT to say it; that isn’t who I am! The real issue is not my insecurities or my bloody father, it’s that I’m a miserable, homicidal asshole and you refuse to accept that! I’m not the man you are trying to convince yourself you feel something for! You don’t care about me, Caroline. You’re a fixer and you’re trying to do the best with the cards you were given and fix me. Wake up, sweetheart, it isn’t fucking possible!”

The words tasted like lies even as I said them, and some part of me recognized that I wasn’t being honest with her. Or myself.

Something in her eyes broke, like a light being snuffed out on top of a candle. I had done what I had scolded my ignorant hybrid for, I’d diminished her brightness. It was necessary, or I told myself that.  She saw me as a broken puzzle to solve. But someone had to teach her that broken pieces will never fit together.

Her eyes were red and glossy as she marched up to me, resembling an angry goddess more than a teenaged vampire,”…Fine.” Her cornflower blue eyes turned to steel as she lifted her chin with pride, as if refusing to let me harm her. “Do this. Push me away. Lie to yourself like the coward you are. But you know that you’ll never convince yourself of your own bullshit, and all of this effort you used to deny your feelings and hurt me so I’ll give up on you, it will have been useless. You care about me. I can see it in your eyes. But you’re too damn afraid of ANY feelings to try at all! Do you know where that’ll leave you? Not all powerful and in control, but sitting alone wondering why NOTHING seems worth the effort anymore!”

           And with that, she was gone. The whirlwind of a woman sped out of the building in a flash, leaving me completely alone. For reasons I wouldn’t dare to sort through, my stomach dropped and my dead heart seemed to restrict in on itself. I breathed in sharply at the feeling, the smell of her perfume still lingering in the air and burning my throat. I didn’t understand this feeling. It was ridiculous-mortal and weak. I wasn’t sure he had ever experienced it. It was as if I had suddenly contracted one of those frail human illnesses; my entire body ached from the inside. I’m still not sure how that was even possible. I sniffed the air,  shocked when I smelled blood. I looked down at my hands and realized that I had clenched my fists so hard that my nails had cut into my palms, a drop of blood falling from my hand.

           I ignored the sting and  looked up at the door that Caroline had just fled through. I tried to take a step towards it, deciding it would be best to go make myself a drink. To my great displeasure, my traitor legs shook when I attempted to walk. In fact, my entire body may have been shaking…I wasn’t sure, I had nothing to compare it to in my immortal memory, but I think I… was scared. I vaguely remembered a feeling sort of like this when I was a human child, Mikael coming at me with a raised fist.

Suddenly, I was looking at myself from above, standing in the foyer of that expensive hotel room. I looked paler than usual, weak. I detested it.

           I had the strange sensation of awareness entering my limbs once again. I didn’t realize I had lost sensation in my body. I hastily stumbled to the couch in the corner, falling onto it. I pushed my fingers into the plush material I was sitting on, grounding myself to the world so that strange floaty feeling wouldn’t return. For once in my life, I didn’t know what to do with myself. So, as I often did when the rare occasion arouse that I didn’t have the answer, I called my nuisance of an elder brother.

           Elijah answered on the second ring, “Brother,” he greeted, sounding slightly surprised, “What could have possessed you to call me in the middle of the night?”

“Oh,” I answered dazedly, remembering that Elijah was currently in a different timezone, “Right. I forgot the time difference.”

Elijah sounded concerned when he answered. He waved away a voice that was pestering him to come back to bed. With as hazy as my mind was, I couldn’t be sure if that was a Petrova or not that I heard…, “Niklaus….What has happened? Are you alright? You sound very strange.”

I shook my head, momentarily forgetting Elijah couldn’t see me over the phone, “…I…feel strange.”

“Okay…and what prompted this strangeness?” Elijah replied calmly.

“Caroline…she left,” I frowned, trying to comprehend the words as I said them. I had told Elijah about my kidnapping and consequent fling with the young vampire a while ago. Elijah had an annoying preference that I keep him updated of my life.

Elijah sighed, “Oh, brother, what did you do?” “Me??” I seethed, “She-she was the one w-who broke into-“ I sucked in a breath roughly,trying to calm myself. I could feelmy lungs tighten as I started actively thinking about the situation.

“Nikalaus,” Elijah started soothingly, “Are you sitting?”

It sounded like Elijah had just figured something out. If he knew what was happening, why wasn’t he just telling me??

“Y-yes, but how is that,” I marveled for a second as I felt my hands tingling, “How is that relevant??”

“Good. Now put your head between your legs and count your breaths.”

I frowned, confused at my brother’s seemingly random instructions. The situation seemed oddly familiar, but after a thousand years, I sometimes couldn’t discern if that feeling meant I  had forgotten an old memory or if I was recalling a dream.

“Why-“

“Just do it!” Elijah ordered.

I blinked; I wasn’t used to orders being hurled at me. This side of the dynamic was foreign to me. Usually, I wouldn’t have let Elijah get away with the order, but the strange tightness in my chest was unsettling so I decided to see if following my brothers advice might make the suffocating feeling leave me alone.

I bent over and held my head in my hands, between my knees. I breathed in and out roughly, trying to slow my breaths as I counted them. Slowly, but definitively, I started to regain myself. I could ascertain one thought from the other in my mind now.

After a minute or so, Elijah asked, “Are you feeling more collected?”          

I swallowed and nodded, “Yes, I believe so.”

“Good.”

“…Elijah,” I started hesitantly, not eager to admit my bewilderement to anyone, “How did you know that would help? Do you know what that was that….just happened to me?”

Elijah chuckled sympathetically, “Yes, brother, I do. I wasn’t sure if you recalled. You were very young when it used to happen. You just had a panic attack. You used to have them occasionally when we were children…after father hurt you,” his tone was regretful, probably wishing he had tried harder to protect me from father.

I paused for a long moment, contemplating the words and interpreting them as nonsense.

I scoffed, “I’m a thousand year old immortal, Elijah. I do not have panic attacks.”

Elijah responded by rolling his eyes, “I was old enough to remember clearly. Your treatment during childhood gave you extreme anxiety. I remember what you sounded like when you tried to speak through the attacks. It was just the very same.”

I could feel myself scowl, putting a hand on my chest to feel my own body. Of course I didn’t have a human pulse, but I could feel the human blood I had consumed earlier in the day pumping through my veins much faster than usual. I looked in the mirror above the couch to examine my own face…I didn’t recognize it for a second. I looked stricken. That’s not me. I touched a hand to the mirror for a second to confirm it was real then shook my head.

“I felt sick…But that isn’t possible. How could I still have a human ailment that I had so long ago?”

“Because it isn’t started by a virus or anything physical, Niklaus. It’s an emotion driven thing. I surmise you never experienced this as a vampire before because you have never been so invaded by real emotions before.”

“I am not-“ I started to protest indignantly, but Elijah cut me off once again.

“Lie to yourself, not to me. It’s irritating. If you didn’t care for Caroline in some way, you wouldn’t have reacted this way. Your body likely reacted for you before your mind could understand what you were feeling.”

I often hated how naturally perceptive my brother was, “I don not live that way, though. I do not entertain relationships like that. There is my family and there are my enemies, everyone else is a means to an end.”

“Hmm…” I could practically see Elijah’s face as he pondered the situation, “Perhaps…without your permission, your subconscious has started to see her as family.”

I stopped for a moment to think about his words. I had been blindingly angry when Caroline broke into my meeting, my entire being rebelling against the idea of her being in such danger. Ironically, I think I had done the things I had so feared the wolves were going to do-erasing Caroline from my life.

I tried to ponder that thought a little longer, to understand why or how she was affecting me so much. But the longer I spent thinking about her absence from my life, the stronger the feelings of unease got. It started to feel like I was going to throw up my internal organs, so I quickly stopped the contemplation.

This is not alright.

Caroline’s POV

He will regret this. That was the only thought that kept running through my mind. I will make him regret this. Of course I understand the reasons behind his cruelty, his insanity. But that doesn’t change how it feels to be subjected to it.

           I may have been a patient, forgiving person when I was little girly, human Caroline. But that isn’t me anymore. I haven’t been that girl in a long time. Sure, I remember her favorite movies and I know who she loves and doesn’t give two shits about. But I don’t connect with her now.

           I knew that as a vampire, I had grown stronger, braver, more resilient. But this was different; the more time I had spent around Klaus, the more my perspective on things started to change. My friends back home…our entire world was so small and limited. He was right about one thing; that wasn’t enough for me. But he was wrong about another; I’m not just light. Light is harmless. Light is innocent and weightless. But I aimed to have an impact. I think I’ll be fire instead.

           Something about how he rejected my compassion…it made me feel ridiculous. Like I was an idiot for even trying to break through to him. Like I was some delusional little girl. And that feeling-well the embarrassment quickly changed to rage and something in me had broken. The light went out and came back stronger, a flame ready to burn. Cheesy, I know, but some of my human has to come out sometimes. Even switching the flip doesn’t change my entire personality, just emphasizes a different side of it.  As I strolled down the freezing streets, immune to the Russian cold stinging my cheeks, I laughed. Klaus thought he was so in control, so all-knowing. I bet he doesn’t know the monster he just created.

I arrived at the river in the middle of town, Neva something, and stripped off my bulky winter clothes. They were a front-I didn’t need them. Just like the sunshine-y version of myself that so hoped Klaus would understand his feelings. She was a front-I don’t need her.

I grinned to myself as I dove naked into the ice cold water.

  A/n: I’m sorry this is so short and unedited, but it’s kind of a transition chapter. The next one with badass Care will be longer. Please let me know if any of this got too cheesy or formal. I’ve been writing adlock fanfiction at the same time so I am used to their POVS, which are quite different from Caroline’s. Let me know if you’re excited for dark Caroline and hit me up with suggestions in the comments! I like to include you guys’ ideas.

00

[fireandgloryrpg]

Name: Fergus Fitzgerald

Age: 18

Faceclaim: KJ Apa

Heritage: Son of Oceanus, Legacy of Venus

Affiliation: Second Cohort Centurion, Member of Cult of Romulus

Status: Retired. Deceased. (previously played by Bah)

Headcanons:

Son of the Ocean, legacy of Luna and somewhat down the line of Lelantus mostly means Fergus biological clock is opposite to day people and that his powers are always stronger from 6PM to 5AM, just like the tides. He is, indeed, ruled by the rising and retreating tides, his mood is deeply connected to the marine weather. Instead of him having power over the Seas, it’s more of a symbiotic relationship. Whereas Fergus bad mood could cause storms, the naturally occurring ones make him cranky and hostile, and so on. Though he has adapted to the Legion’s strict daily schedule, it’s no wonder people think him hostile and sullen most of the day, it’s when his energy is at its lowest, specially between 12 and 4 PM. It’s not uncommon to find Fergus napping during the day between whatever duties he has to tend to. 12AM on Full Moon nights are when his power and energy take him the closest to his Godly heritage as possible and thus when Fergus avoids being anywhere near the Ocean. The fact his personality and mood is so deeply tied with the Sea and its nature, he’s see as an absolute asshole most times, with a fickle personality.

Fergus is a big asshole. Maybe not entirely unwarranted, most times he’s stern, rispid, sullen, hostile and with a bad temperament. He doesn’t talk a lot and solves most of his problems either by himself. Though most people may think it’s just because he’s an asshole, he is one but not out of spite, and simply because he does not know how to deal with people. He wasn’t properly socialized as a child, always focusing on training and being the best he could be, he is great at war and he is excellent at teamwork but he’s God-awful at socialization. He doesn’t know how to read social cues, he doesn’t know how to deal with people’s feelings and emotions, considering he doesn’t know how to deal with his own. Anyone who gets any closer to him soon realizes he doesn’t mean to be a dick but rather he was made out to be one.

Fergus denies his entire heritage from Oceanus – everything else, Luna, Venus, Lelantos, Mars, whatever’s on the Fitzgerald family tree, he’s alright with it, but he’d rather pretend he’s nothing but a long standing legacy than admit he’s the son of a Titan. Not only for the fact he was never officially claimed, plus the fact his father was in the “wrong” side of the second Titan war, but the Ocean is too dangerous to be related to. In an incident as a child, on a temper tantrum he created a small scale tornado, destroyed half of the Fitzgerald estate, killed two dogs and almost drowned some relatives including his mother. Ever since he’s dedicated to control and suppress anything water-related, he despises his water powers and his relationship with the ocean. That can and will eventually lead to something that’ll only cause him harm but so far, he’s living with it.

Biography:

!! TW: BLOOD, TORTURE, CHILD ABUSE !!

A direct descendant of the original Deirdre of Sorrows, the Venus daughter from over 600 years ago whose beauty waged wars among men. She fled the Éire after the conflicts caused over who would wed her and moved to a Roman settlement in England at the time, being guided by her mother. Fergus Fitzgerald followed her suit and later they married.

The Fitzgerald family has been with the Roman group of demigods ever since, though they chose to keep their last name such as not to shed the family’s origins. Some of Deirdre’s grandchildren also returned to Ireland later and part of the family also remains there, including legacies from other gods that were born into the family. They live in a place named Valley of Love, a much smaller version of places like Camp Half-Blood and New Rome. The borders have protective magic and the valley itself was blessed by the goddess of love herself.  

The Fitzgerald’s have been actively participant in the formation of New Rome ever since they settled in San Francisco, before that many of the family were part of the civil war against the greeks and such. They are known for being passionate and honest to the point of bluntness in their ways.

Rowan Fitzgerald was the third child of Venus to be born in the direct descending line of the family, being Oleana Fitzgerald’s grandfather and Fergus great-grandfather, he was a Centurion of the First Cohort and known for his beauty. He was considered “a distraction” on the battlefield and used it. The family is well-known for their beauty and while there was mockery among their Roman counterparts in the beginning, it has long delved into most respect and admiration.

Oleana was a prominent centurion of the First Cohort, as harsh as she was pretty, she had a meteoric military career but when turning 21, during war games she was thrown off a tower by accident and that was the end of it. She almost died and while mostly recovered, her spine was fractured in three different points. She had dreams of becoming Praetor and those were crushed along with her spine. While her mother was part of the Roman council, frustrated and angry, Oleana left to Ireland where some of the family remained, to step away for a while.

Bound to a wheelchair, she still had a too-wild spirit and didn’t quite accept set backs. She became a Mixed Martial Arts Instructor, taking her frustration and anger out on her trainees. Trying to find herself again, while her anger started to subdue, she became friends with the homeless man that lived by the sea near the Fitzgerald’s house in Belfast. Their friendship lasted three long years and she never realized he was the ocean Titan. Though most people tended to avoid him, Oleana hadn’t. She wasn’t afraid, nor repulsed. There was no romantic love but there was deep respect between the two of them, forces of their own right. She was set to return to New Rome and decided to tell her “homeless friend” whom she actually was – so he revealed who he truly was as well.

It wasn’t a romance but more an agreement on the parts, they were friends and he could not heal her, but he could give her something to be equally proud of, rather than a career. A powerful child to carry on her family’s legacy and to carry on her dreams. He warned Oleana he was never going to be around and unlikely to ever meet his child and if he did, he had never loved any of his children. To that she didn’t mind, she could love a child for both of them and raise them to be a demigod like New Rome had never seen.

Returning to New Rome, Oleana turned into the political life like most of the women in her family – she gave birth to Deirdre eight months later due to a very complicated and fragile pregnancy. When her child was a year old she also married the daughter of Phoebus Apollo, Dana, who helped her through it all. Together they were set on raising the baby girl as happy and as dutiful as any roman family would. Maybe Dana was the one most responsible for the happy part and Oleana too set on raising a good child.

The demand and expectations were high from the moment the child learned to walk and talk – child of a Titan, legacy of other Gods, from a prominent family, Fergus started to learn how to throw a spear even before he knew how to properly write down his name.

Speaking of names, from age eight he was categoric in the fact he did not like being called a ‘she’ nor appreciated the name ‘Deirdre’. While most of his family deemed it a phase and let go, as long as he was a good soldier, his mothers kept a close eye to make sure he wasn’t going to suffer any more for it.

The moment he went to join the First cohort following on his mothers’ footsteps, Fergus donned the name of his ancestor for the first time. He also desired to be addressed as a male, had his hair cut and presented as such. From then on, his mothers were nothing but supportive as they followed through with even the appropriate paperwork.

Though he only always had the support of his family, Fergus felt he had to prove himself twice now – from the shadow of his mother to the fact he wasn’t biologically male, also going through the fact he was never claimed (technically, even if it was no secret), he was insecure and anxious about his place in the Twelfth Legion, which only made him grow stern on the outside.

It was no surprise to anyone when he became Centurion for the Second Cohort, trained since age five, ten years down the line he was an outstanding legionnaire. Loyal to the legion and his Cohort, stern and with moral standards almost too high to demand from anyone. Fergus set the highest bar for himself and a bar almost as high to everyone else.

[politicsiscomplicated]

Instead of Punching Nazis, Steal Their Target Audience From Them

If America today is analogous to Nazi Germany, the people I'm arguing against act like we're in 1938, with annexations of our neighbors and Kristallnacht looming near.  We're not.  We're not even in 1933 at the beginning of the dictatorship yet.  We're still somewhere in the 20s.  The Nazis are clearly, obviously evil, going around attacking people and screaming about how the Jews/liberals/non-whites/foreigners/etc. are ruining the country, and even have some friends in high places.  But most of the country still isn't willing to vote for them.  We the enemies of Naziism, all of us from ultra-conservatives like Orrin Hatch all the way to leftists and progressives like many of you my friends are, aren't in the place of some underground resistance movement fighting a guerrilla campaign against the omnipresent Nazi menace.  We are right now all in the place of the other political parties that fucking failed to fix Germany by peaceful means after WW1.  And there are a lot of disgruntled but politically detached people out there who aren't Nazis but might be persuaded to vote for Nazis if we don't get to them first with better ideas.

We saw this last year when millions of disgruntled former Obama voters and millions of voters who said they normally don't vote at all came out to support a notoriously incompetent asshole who stumbled into being the first major presidential candidate since Wilson to receive the endorsement of the Klan and not disavow it.  Never forget that Hitler didn't gain power through coercion like Mussolini or revolution like Franco.  He was the leader of a major political party, elected partially because of terrorism, but also largely because his party was able to convince the public that they could solve their problems.  The Nazis and their ideological cousins in the alt-right are competing with us now to win over the people who are, frankly, ignorant of or disinterested in politics and therefore vulnerable to Nazis winning them over by presenting their mix of paranoia and outright lies nicely.

The people we are competing with them over, or ought to be, are the people I've heard ranting my entire life — and I know, any of you New Englanders, that you have heard them too, and are probably related to some of them — about "reverse racism" and "handouts", and how the Clintons are secret murderers, and so on blah blah blah.  They're wrong, and they don't understand what we're talking about.  But that's not how we respond to them.  Instead, we respond to them by writing them off as unfixably hateful and accuse them of lying rather than not understanding.  We push them away into the waiting hands of Nazi propagandists.  Nazis, like the toxic right-wing talkshow media, respond to them by egging them on to embrace and use their anger, Emperor Palpatine-style.  Any chance we give the Nazis to portray themselves as the victim of leftist aggression is another voter who, when it is time for our equivalent of the 1932 elections, will go to the polls and support the Nazis even though they may not personally be a Nazi.

But the propaganda is out there, and the rallies are happening, and they have an audience.  Clearly something must be done.  So what is to be done about the Nazis themselves?  How can we possibly avoid seeming to engaging them as equals, which would give them the same false balance legitimacy currently enjoyed by creationists and anti-vaxers and climate change deniers?  Not through preemptive violence.  We should certainly be willing to fight in self-defense, or in the defense of another we can help, but remember, there is already a narrative out there of "violent leftists" who need "law and order" brought down upon them.  The president himself buys into and spreads this.  We need to make him look ridiculous.

When the NAACP took up the case of Rosa Parks, rather than any of the other people who defied bus segregation before her, it was because they and Parks understood how easily-swayed people are by victim-blaming.  When a bad thing happens to someone, it seems to be a baked-in human instinct to examine the victim to see why they "provoked" something bad, rather than examining what's wrong with the offender to make them think victimizing someone could possibly be okay.  They sought out a person about whom the fewest negative things could be said.  This is an effective tactic.  It anticipates and shuts down the stupid but popular arguments people are drawn to.  By showcasing the most clear-cut, inarguable cases of injustice, that bulk of disengaged public sees that a system they were previously indifferent to ought to be actively changed or destroyed.  By fighting only defensively, I believe we can preempt any attempt by the Nazis to use that tactic on us.  Make it clear that the victim of an act of racist or other bigoted violence did nothing to provoke it, and you turn the public's outrage on the offender, and maybe even on the ideology that encouraged the violence.

It is also worth remembering at this point that, as Jon Stewart put it, the bias of the mainstream media is towards sensationalism, conflict, and laziness.  They want someone to get pundits enraged at because enraged pundits get them viewers or listeners or readers, and viewers or listeners or readers get them ad revenue.  Let someone make a heinous speech and the news cycle will be about what a fucking piece of shit that person is.  Punch someone making a heinous speech, and the news cycle will be fake-balance arguments about how there's "anger on both sides".

So what about "fighting" metaphorically, by disrupting the lives of Nazis (or Nazi-allies)?  Public shame will do something, right?  Well, maybe, if you get the right person.  A friend did a back-of-the-envelope-type estimate using some demographic data about this.  If we assume for the sake of argument that every alt-rightist is a white American man, distributed randomly among all white American men in general appearance, and we have pictures of every single alt-rightist based on estimates of how many of them there are, and we only make mistakes 1% of the time in matching the alt-rightists' faces to the faces of all white American men, the number of innocent people we falsely identified as alt-rightists would be over 24 times the number of correctly-identified alt-rightists.  Indeed, we've already seen some false identifications based on pictures of people from the "Unite the Right" rally.  (And just a few years ago, internet vigilantes also came to confidently wrong conclusions about the identities of the Boston Marathon bombers in exactly the same way, by poring over mediocre-to-poor-quality photos of the event, although thankfully police realized quickly these were incorrect.)

And even if you do get the right person, are you sure you want to actively encourage managers to fire people for their activities outside of work?  Remember those people I mentioned earlier who are outraged about "reverse racism" and so on?  Some of those people are managers.  Some managers will fire Nazis because, quite accurately, they understand that Nazis are bad.  But other managers will, based on the same encouragement, fire Black Lives Matter protestors.  It's not hard to find examples of political commentators or even politicians calling BLM black supremacists or even terrorists.  Because you know what?  People don't make rational decisions based on what is actually true.  Ever.  About anything.  They make vaguely-approaching-rational decisions based on what feels true.

You may trust yourself, or a really good boss you have, to make this sort of decision.  I may even agree with those judgements.  But recall the worst boss you've had, or the worst boss someone you know has had.  Someone obnoxious, petty, ignorant, mean, or clearly looking for an excuse, any excuse, to fire someone.  Now imagine how they'd react if you said "you should fire people for being hateful outside of work".  They might fire a Nazi, but I'd place my bet on them firing a BLM supporter, or someone with a different religion than them (because, of course, disagreeing with someone's religion is blasphemy, and blasphemy is hate speech!), or someone who is very much not a Nazi but the manager falsely thinks they are because they just read a wrongheaded book or blog post that argues that some group of people actual Nazis hate, like gay people, or completely mainstream moderates, are the "real" Nazis.

If you really feel compelled to take matters into your own hands, proceed with the extremest of extreme caution, understand your own ignorance and failures and biases, admit to and suffer the consequences of your mistakes if you harm the innocent, and absolutely do not fire unless fired upon.

The last several days of arguments I've seen, and occasionally participated in, online have just gotten nasty and frustrating.  So this post is all I intend to say on the topic.  I am sick of being misconstrued by people I would otherwise firmly agree with.  I would just like to remind them that I understand exactly what is on the line if the Nazis actually win; just off the top of my head, there are at least three, maybe seven if you really reach, reasons I will be sent to a concentration camp if America truly follows the trajectory of Nazi Germany.  That's why I am so emphatic that we must head off the Nazis.  We must stop them from using the media to their favor, and we must win over their target audience of people who are vaguely upset and frustrated but do not know at whom their frustration should be directed.  We must reach out to the angry but not very politically engaged public and do a decent job of explaining ourselves to them and debunking Nazi paranoia and lies before the Nazis have the chance to suck them in first.

[fullysowerewolf]

My Thoughts on Resident Evil 2 (2019); It Could Have Been Great

I've taken some time off to reflect on Remake 2 and take into account all of my thoughts on its gameplay and story. And I think it's time for me to give my full review on the game.

WARNING: This post will contain unpopular views on a well liked/received game. Turn back now if you want to return to the comfort of the status quo.  

Resident Evil 2 (2019) is not a bad game. It is entertaining as an experience and functions as it is supposed to. The atmosphere, outside of some issues I have with the tone and how they've been marketing it with the series presently, is good. The revamp they gave the environments and and enemies, while not something I personally give much value to, is impressive. The sewers look grimy and disgusting, the BOWs look like rotting corpses and react to getting their heads blown off like, well, someone getting their head blown off in real life. The best environment by far is the police station though. I am completely satisfied with how they've designed the station here.

On paper, the zombies function well and their AI is decent. Mr. X is the breakout feature of the game and he does end intensity to the game but I think he overstays welcome a bit too much and steals away attention from G-Birkin, as I feel there's not enough scenes or standout gameplay moments with G. Sherry's segment is actually tense and I like it.

Some of the story works, the new addition of the Orphanage is good and adds a neat new location to experience in the city as well as a chance to actually explore the city outside of the station. Something that fans had complained about in the original. Annette Birkin and Marvin Branagh both stand out as well portrayed characters, with Annette being given more things to do in the story and interact with the characters. And Marvin's interactions with Leon and Claire (Leon in particular) are great and make you feel for him and his steady decline in health. Annette's death scene in Claire's story and the scene with Kendo were the only moments in the game I felt an emotion for. It's not the worst story in the series. But it's not the best. It fulfills its requirement of being a story. As a whole, it is a good horror game to play and an ok RE game.

This game, however, may as well be called "Missed Opportunity the game". They had the ability to really make this game pop out and be a new experience while still giving a good showing of what made RE2 so great and they completely dropped the ball.

Files are omitted, something well known and beloved in the series that's used to add flavor and life to the story and environment are gone and replaced with bare bones explanations that just tell you how to solve puzzle Y.

The option to interact with the environment is removed as well, something that's been a part of the games since the beginning and only RE6 has ever done until now. Why?! This is the perfect game to add these kind of details in, to add more charm and flair to the setting and even some depth to the character you're playing as and to make the story feel more alive. They may not add anything to the mechanics of the game, but it gets you further invested into the story and environment around you. This is the ultimate irony of RE2 remake. The environment and graphics look and feel more realistic than ever before, but you are completely unable to simply look at or comment on them like a real person would in the world, be able to experience them. You can look, but you can't touch.

Characters this time around feel off and simplified from how they were in the original.

Irons is an example, in the original his villainy was more understated. You couldn't trust him as far as you could throw him, but he still came off as someone in command and faked being morose about what was happening. It was only later after you meet him in his torture chamber and after reading the various files throughout the game that lay out his depravity he really becomes unhinged. But in this new telling, he just automatically beats up Claire and kidnaps Sherry right on first meeting him, no subtlety, no buildup, just straight up asshole. And that's just not interesting.

Ada feels very cardboard in this game, there's not very many standout moments with her, even when she's given her own gameplay segment, she immediately makes herself suspicious with her noir ripoff coat and glasses and behavior. Gives away that she's here to steal the G-virus to Annette when originally she didn't break cover as John's girlfriend until the very end of the game. Her 'death" is unrealistic and contradicts what Capcom has been giving us as her death scene for years by now, as well as just not being as emotional or engaging. And her relationship with Leon come off as more like a partnership the likes of Helena in RE6 than of a growing romance that eventually spans decades. It felt more like manipulation mixed with appreciating Leon as a person overall and not as "wow, this guy really cares about me and is charming, there's something I really love about him".

Leon comes off as much flater than he did originally as well. Originally, he took charge of the situation and made it his mission to gather survivors and get out of dodge as fast as he can. Even though he was a rookie and in over his head, he actively tried to help people and get them to listen to him and what he had to say. Here, Leon just fumbles around obeying whatever anyone says to him. He never questions Ada and her odd behavior until the end, which comes off as weird considering he did everything she asked and never has seriously questioned or brought up concerns about her until that point. Just blindly says he's got to talk to Irons first when Ben begs him to let him out, rather than question seriously what Ben had to say about Irons or how he had locked Ben up in the first place. Leon's really passive this time around rather than being active in trying to help people. 

Claire (and also Leon) is way too casual about this whole thing. Neither really reacts appropriately to seeing this messed up shit. Some of this might also be the lackluster dialogue (which tried too hard to be gritty and edgy at times especially when it came to Claire, my god) and acting on Claire's VA's part but it's still negative. 

Claire should not be so gung ho about facing down a 15 foot tall abomination against nature like it's Revelations 2 rather than it being her seeing these things for the first time ever. Critical Nobody made a good point in how in the original the boss fights happened out of the blue and neither Leon or Claire actively tried to take on G- Birkin or Mr. X. They were ambushed and had to fight their way out of the conflict and neither made some dumb action quote line during it as well until the very final boss where it was warranted. It's like Ethan and RE7 all over again with the generic action movie responses to shit he should be freaking out about. And once again it takes me out of the experience.  

Claire's story revolving her brother just gets dropped like a sack of bricks during it for dumb reasoning, after being placated by some coded message with which her mild confusion at doesn’t sell me on her being so concerned she’d fly to Paris and bust into Umbrella’s HQ over later on.. What I think they should have  done if the devs really wanted to sell this one being more “real” than the original, was put that scene with Leon and Claire in the STARS office over some limp wristed attempt at Chris writing a coded message. That scene in the original was one of the best in the game. 

The scenarios and how they handled them is fucked. We all know it. They completely shat the bed when it came to making use out of the A/B gimmick. 

Both the 1st run and the 2nd amount to playing the same story, only you don't meet Marvin in the 2nd. Which is not enough of a difference to justify the existence of a A/B scenario thing. In the original, A and B discs gave you an obvious difference. Characters have different deaths, the boss fights were different, there were changes in the actual story if you play Leon or Claire first or second that affected the B scenario, whatever items you picked in the A scenario affected the B one. This greatly increased the replayablity of the game and added much more bang for your buck in enjoyment.

I understand if they seriously weren't able to really do an A/B gimmick like before due to different constraints on the budget that differed from the 90's. Which is why when I heard they weren't going to do the A/B thing that didn't bother me. But they either lied or changed their minds mid production and shoehorned it in, most likely for nostalgia points and to haphazardly add more replayability. What is the point doing alternate scenarios if they don't differ or add anything new to the game? That's just a waste of resources and everyone's time. They could have spent their time on simply making two solid stories/campaigns that worked coherently, but they didn't. 

Turns out IGN weren't completely lying or wrong when they said that the two stories played the same way. Even when you play the 2nd run there's no real difference.

The story changes are really bunk as well. Why omit the police knowing about the Mansion Incident and making Marvin and Co look like idiots who can't put 2 and 2 together? Why change things like Claire's story progression and removing the interactions between the two throughout the game (even though this game really wanted to push the idea of them being an item they only had two scenes of them interacting??)? Leon and Claire talked with each other via the radio the whole time and really let you believe these two were working together to get out alive, even with you weren't face to face most of the time in the original. Leon also played a roll in saving Sherry as well, which carries over into future games but that's completely scrapped here. 

Why is Ada's connection to the original game, (which is still in Remake 1 which now is the prequel to this game), absent? Where's new lore and enemies like Lisa Trevor? Where's the potential of connecting things to future events like the Simmons thing with Ada from 6?They had a golden opportunity to clear up some confusion about what events from which scenario were canon or not here and to really add some surprise into the story, but nothing was done with it. 

The enemies are all bullet sponges, even the bosses, that makes fighting them really cheap and frustrating. You have to shoot a zombie something like 4 times with a shotgun to put it down. I repeat. A Shotgun to the head takes more than two times to put down. And even than that's probably not good enough. That's not good enemy design, that's just an exercise of my patience that I am now very in short supply of.

There's also a severe lack of enemy variety. You only get zombies, lickers (for one part of the game), zombies with a plant skin, and G-embryos. That's it. No Licker B's, no giant moths, no giant spiders, no new enemies that could add some more challenge to the game. Nothing. And with most of those enemies being of the zombie mold, that means more repetition in gameplay. Add in the frustration of everything being a bullet sponge, and you're not in for a good time.

The Characters you're playing as feel the same with little to no different weapons or attributes to set them apart. Unlike in Remake 1, where both Chris and Jill had completely different defensive items and skills such as exclusive lockpicking, more inventory space, and a lighter preset. Remake 1 also had interesting mechanics that really added more challenge and intrigue to the game in the form of a new enemy (Crimson Heads) and a way to effect directly how much challenge you want in your playthrough (you could choose to leave the corpses unburnt and make life harder or make things easier by burning as much as you can). In Re2make, there are no such distinctions between between Leon and Claire that really make them stand out as unique characters in gameplay.

The soundtrack is bland and generic. You also can barely even hear it. You absolutely have to play the OG OST to really get any kind of musical accompaniment in the game. Too bad that's something you have to pay Capcom $3.00 for. I think the only music that really stands out are the G-3 and 4 boss themes and The 4th Survivor music.

In the end, I was let down heavily from Remake 2. I wanted to like this game. I wanted to see Capcom learn from their mistakes with the foreign, lackluster 7 and see them make an actual RE game again. They succeeded, somewhat with the latter. RE2 '19 IS better than 7 and does feel like an actual RE game and deserves the title of such. But it's not better than Remake 1. Or even as good. Every time I look at Remake 2, all I see is what could have been. And every time I think about the positives of this game, a niggling thought of "but it could have also done..." is there in back of my mind. While seeing and viewing this game, I was in an emotional dead zone, not excited, not angry, just a near continuous state of "meh".

The story's mediocre and feels simplified from the previous one. The environment, while looking nice, feels lifeless (and not in a good way). I don't feel like I'm in a real breathing world, fighting against zombies. And this trend towards photorealism and making things more "gritty" for the sake of gritty while sliding further and further on quality in writing is not something I wanted or expected of this series. And it feels like the heart and soul of this series is getting drained out and replaced with some mediocre expy of the latest horror trends rather than doing its own thing.Which to me seems like we're going to head for another slump like what happened with 6, where the series gameplay quality generally increases, but the meant of the characters, writing and series' uniqueness gets worse and worse.

Before Remake 2 came out, I was excited to see what the remakes of Nemesis and Code Veronica were going to be like. But now I'm very wary of what they might do to the story and gameplay of those games when they remake them. And I'm even less enthused than I already wasn't about RE8 or any new games going forward.

Remake 2 was Capcom's last shot of getting me on board with their new "vision" for the series started with RE7. And I'm just not interested. So this will be last game I give any attention to for Resident Evil.

[hyacinthetic]

You've interested me with potential Reitotsu from your "swimming, swimming, swimming" meta. Please expand on this. More detail about preventing territorial blowout, how would Totsuka achieve this? Seri and Kusanagi haven't done it.

i’m going to answer you a bit backwards – first by talkingbriefly about how awashima and kusanagi were bad fits for bringing peace,second by discussing why totsuka would bother, third by addressing reitotsu andwhy it interested me in 2015 but i don’t see it working out too hot.

as a preface: let’s be clear that the full context of my original sentence was “totsuka tries to overcome all his fears of a s4 v. homra territorial blowout” (emphasis added). for various reasons,* his odds of succeeding were always going to be shit. but i do believe that (i) it’s within his wheelhouse to have tried something; and (ii) he’s better-positioned for it than awashima + kusanagi combined. let’s take those points backwards.

( * it’s mikorei. when in doubt, i am always talking about mikorei. )

RE: WHY AWASHIMA AND KUSANAGI FAILED TO RESTRAIN THEIR KINGS

this point makes sense largely if you consider totsuka’s service to his king v. kusanagi / awashima’s services. our most extreme example comes in s1, when mikoto goes hurtling headlong to his death and his childhood best friend—the one who knew him best before he ascended—stands by and tells the empty night, “you were the best king we could have asked for”, knowing perfectly well that suoh mikoto never wanted to be king. similarly, awashima never brings up her concerns with munakata directly in s2: she only confronts him after he comes back and he’s made his own choice. both fall into supporting roles; they don’t tell the kings who to be, they only work to ensure that the kings meet their own goals.

totsuka, by contrast, is a kingmaker in a very real sense. the post you mention quotes snippets such as totsuka’s enthusiastic cry to “make this a great kingdom!” and to convince mikoto that he’s a protector. kings do not default to violence and territoriality  – see ichigen miwa, who lived alone in the mountains and picked up an apprentice almost by happenstance. totsuka tells mikoto what being king means, and mikoto takes his cues to lead. munakata and mikoto may have philosophies at odds with one another, but totsuka��s the reason their conflict’s ongoing. so if you were going to change mikoto’s path without developing any of his canon relationships, totsuka would be the go-to option. he’s done it before, and it’s not out of bounds to think that mikoto’d be willing to change again at totsuka’s word.

RE: TOTSUKA’S MOTIVATIONS FOR STEPPING INTO THE FIGHT

assuming that totsuka has the capacity to change things, the question becomes motivation. we know that totsuka enjoys playing the weakling who acts only by influencing others (see: that time he took homra out to an amusement park to force mikoto’s hand in scattering a bunch of thugs following anna), and that others consider this his role in homra. (“We’re a breed of team where power is like our meanin’ for existence. And on top of that, we’ve got a bunch of guys together who let the blood rush to their heads. Someone who, within that, won’t let them drown in their power… who’ll keep everyone together using a method that isn’t forceful, is needed.”) so what would drive him to push suoh mikoto, the man he’s only ever wanted to follow?

the end of my “swimming, swimming, swimming” post was a throwaway joke, but not out of line with how i’d answer the question seriously: totsuka acts according to his own interests. he started following mikoto in middle school, not for any serious purpose, but because he thought that mikoto had a kingly air and he wanted in on that. so if he thought that munakata was (physically) interesting and he saw an advantage in ingratiation, it doesn’t seem to be a stretch to suggest that totsuka might try to involve himself with munakata to bring peace to the homra-s4 conflict from the other side.

i’m going through totsuka’s motivations in some depth because i can’t, in the end, answer your question positively: i don’t believe he’d win the day re: bringing peace. totsuka’s advantage with mikoto is that mikoto accepts other people for who they are (provided they aren’t actively hurting others), and uses his own strength to protect them. totsuka held onto peace for as long as he did by making sure that mikoto had people to protect. this is not a tactic he could use with munakata, whose core philosophy is that humans need structure and a just system. his power comes from working within the system to bring justice. if there’s one thing we know about totsuka, it’s that the system doesn’t suit him much. he can’t even stand the consistency of keeping just one hobby. and i don’t buy that totsuka would charge in where he didn’t think he had good odds for success.

RE: REITOTSU AT LARGE, or a study in fucking around with paragraphs that have no topic sentences; don’t do this at home, kids.

i’d argue there’s some leeway for at least a superficial friendship based on both their interests and the the way they deal with the relationships between ‘being king’ and ‘being human’. you don’t need canon to tell you that totsuka definitely has at least five 3-D puzzles and three books on japanese tea ceremonies propping up a table somewhere. further, unlike mikoto, munakata seems to feel the gap between humans and kings as an actual loss. (see: various remarks throughout canon in which he tries to assert a connection with people who don’t want him that close.) they have a common philosophy: a king shouldn’t need to be lonely. i’ve addressed above why totsuka would be interested in munakata; it doesn’t seem unreasonable to think that munakata wouldn’t respond to that interest to some degree, particularly in light of totsuka’s connection to the main thorn in his side.

ultimately, however, what brought totsuka to munakata’s door would likely drive them apart, too: mikoto may be a brute, but totsuka’s the one who motivates him to stay in power. let’s take a moment to remember that munakata’s main issue with mikoto isn’t that he’s an asshole – it’s that he chooses to act outside the law, and a large part of that choice derives from totsuka’s encouragement. to give them any kind of serious relationship, you’d need to address the conflict. which is difficult, because the nature of any system is that it presumes a set of baseline truths about a population. homra’s there for the people who fall through the cracks, either because the law doesn’t apply to their problems (see: yata “my mum’s new family doesn’t need me and i’m dumb, who am i even and what am i good for” misaki) or because they’re in a position where they can’t go to the law. they solve things with violence both as a deterrent and because it’s the way mikoto needs to blow off steam. you and i understand this, but munakata likely wouldn’t: at the r:b timepoint, the system is everything to him.

but let’s step back for a moment. there are three core principles to the munakata-suoh conflict: (i) suoh lives outside of the system and munakata within it; (ii) suoh and munakata have people to protect; (iii) suoh and munakata are the slate’s chosen kings. 

as such, totsuka’s options for defusing the homra-s4 conflict are three: (i) bring suoh into the system and make sure he lives by it; (ii) remove suoh’s people to protect; (iii) get suoh to step down.

(i) and (ii) are instantly out of the question – (i) was contrary to suoh’s character even before he became a king;** (ii) would never be true for as long as totsuka was alive, and losing it (per s1) could drive mikoto to burn out instantly. that leaves us with (iii) – which is difficult but not impossible. totsuka’s understanding of mikoto as ‘king’ began long before the slate chose him, and arguably has very little to do with mikoto’s slate-granted powers. what totsuka wants, at his core, is for mikoto to be king and to have human bonds with others. neither of these require that he keep powers that are killing him. munakata’s in an especially good position to convince him of that.

if i were going to do reitotsu in any kind of canon setting, i’d start there.

(** i mean, there’s a workable au in which the japanese parliament sees the rising tide of strain incidents and strikes back against the gold king’s ‘shadow government’ by passing a set of laws that require strain registration and restrict travel for registered strains/clansmen. in the ensuing power struggle, shizume degenerates into territories divided between the rule of separate kings. munakata wouldn’t like it, and frankly totsuka would have to grow the fuck up before he could cope with such an au, but at least then munakata’d have to recognise mikoto as a king with specific grounds for rights. while the catalyst for s4 and homra’s constant battles comes down to totsuka + principles, their actual conflict derives from the fact that homra, in theory, falls under s4’s governance. give them a system in which they maintain separate spheres of power and negotiating peace gets a lot easier.)

IN SUM

i realise the above is very negative. this isn’t to say that i don’t find the relationship interesting in its own way. the canon theme is that nobody ever calls totsuka out on his shit – mikoto periodically sees through it (see: again, their scene at the amusement park) but really doesn’t challenge him. kusanagi’s in a similar position to see through the facades, but arguably has too much to lose by trying to change his dynamic with mikoto and homra. (remember – kusanagi thinks it’s important for homra to have a weakling + a restraint, something that only works if he lets totsuka play his games.) munakata’s as close as we get to a bystander who’s nevertheless involved enough to tell totsuka exactly how much damage he’s doing by using someone else to play kings – and more than that, how little totsuka’s doing for himself by perpetuating a system where his only role is supposedly ‘support’ when he’s capable of so much more.

as for munakata’s interest in totsuka – well. totsuka’s one of the few characters we see who’s fearless with his king. supplemental materials make munakata’s quest for just such a person fairly clear.

[going-through-some-stuff]

Entry Fourteen - Wednesday, October 16 2019

Ok so I know it’s been two and a half months, but in my defense I’ve been busy with shit. School is a lot, work is more, and life is just busy. Applying for internships has been fun, and by fun I mean pretty stressful. I haven’t heard back from one of my top choices, which wouldn’t be as worrying if Fiona hadn’t heard back from them almost a week ago. I’m trying to keep the “it is what it is” mentality that I normally have about this kind of stuff, but it mostly sucks that I haven’t heard anything back from them. Like if I could just get an email back saying that I didn’t get it, I could at least move on, but until I get that happens I’m there’s going to be apart of me that is still holding out hope for it. Nobody I know that interviewed with the first company I interviewed with has heard anything back, which might be even worse. The last company I had a formal interview with was just last week, and they said it’d be a few weeks before we heard anything. This company is my second choice, and I feel pretty good about the interview for that one, so I really hope I get to intern there and then hopefully get a full-time job with them after I graduate. One step at a time though. This semester has been a whirlwind so far. Aside from the 17 credit hours, the new position at work, and the interviews, the house has been all over the damn place. Started out pretty strong, there there’s been a bunch of drama involving virtually everybody, and it seems to have settled for the most part, but I’m not holding out any hope about it. Drama will always find it’s way in when there’s five people living under one roof. Jeremy is moving out at semester, and idk if he’s told any of the other roommates, but I think it’s for the best. It sucks, but he’s been at the center of a lot of this drama and it’s taken a pretty big toll on him, so moving out will hopefully help. I’d say I’m worried that I’m going to see him less, but we don’t really see each other that often anyway because we have pretty conflicting schedules. I’m just pissed of honestly. Megan first gave off the impression that she was just a confident person who doesn’t take shit from people, but it turns out she’s more of a self-righteous dick most of the time. It seems like if a relationship is actively and wholly benefiting her, she just cuts it off. Like she met some guy, and they were just friends, and everything was going great from what I can tell. Then one day she’s in a pissy mood and he pushes the wrong button and she comes home and is going off about how she never wants to talk to him again. And it’s not like he was super shitty, he just kinda irritated her and she lost it. She’s just super hypocritical about things. Like she’s allowed to make snarky comments no matter what mood you’re in and if you get upset you’re the asshole, but if she’s in a bad mood you get the “today’s been a long day” or “I’m really not in the mood” type shit, and then you’re the asshole. She just has a super short fuse and is just frustrating because she refuses to acknowledge that people are different than her and that being shitty and passive aggressive about things doesn’t solve shit, but holds others to the standard that if they have a problem with her, it’s on them to fix it. So even when she knows or thinks other people have beef, she won’t change or acknowledge it in any meaningful way because apparently relationships aren’t a give and take system where, rather than seeing how you can change and grow as a person and doing something about it, you should just not change and say fuck it. Obviously there’s limitations to this where the other person won’t be willing to change and they expect you to do the changing (basically what she does), but like I said it’s a give and take system. You can’t expect others to change if you aren’t willing to either. Megan would rather just give up on the relationship altogether than try and put effort into fixing it. It’s just frustrating to deal with. 

On a more positive note, I finally had the courage to tell Fiona how I feel about her. We had a talk about it, and while she wants to give it a shot at some point, she thinks right now isn’t a great time because we’re both so busy that we won’t be able to put the proper amount of time and effort into a relationship (not that I’d know how much time and effort goes into a relationship, but I think I have an rough idea at least). Hopefully this semester will slow down and we’ll get to see each other more, not that I really see that happening based on the pace it’s at now. Maybe next semester will be easier because I’ll be in fewer credit hours (and even have one online class), which means I should hopefully have more free time. Not sure if both of us will, but I’m hopeful. She’s graduating a semester earlier than I am (December 2020 vs May 2021), so we don’t have a ton of time before we go our separate ways, assuming I don’t get an offer with my top choice. If we get a solid chance at it, awesome, but if not, it is what it is. On that note, it’s ya boi, AW, signing off.