#felony does a thonk (shitpost style)

[enbies-and-felonies]

you see a man hunched over a sink, splashing water on his face and in the mirror he just keeps chanting “c’mon babygirl you got this, c’mon babygirl, c’mon-” to hype himself up because he’s clearly going through it

[enbies-and-felonies]

another brave blogger lost to the evil and devastating tummy hurty disease

[enbies-and-felonies]

mutuals to put into the plinko

[enbies-and-felonies]

*sees a post* oh hm. interesting “i guess” 🙄 not gonna reblog it tho duh

*sees the same post but from my mutual reblogging it* ohhhh *twirls hair* that’s !! so neat ong,,, tell me more,,, *kicks my legs back and forth* also ily btw 🥰

[enbies-and-felonies]

hmm. methinks that the world would be a better place if the anon icon had red heart sunglasses instead

[enbies-and-felonies]

local man had to do dishes without listening to music, 7 dead 18 injured

[enbies-and-felonies]

girls! if he’s a pathetic little man! if he is skrumbly!!! that’s not your wife, that’s blorbo from my shows!

[enbies-and-felonies]

babygirl i’ve got eyebags that could last you DAYS’ worth of shopping in the mall

[enbies-and-felonies]

get top surgery so your back only hurts because of the weight of carrying your immense sexiness

[enbies-and-felonies]

brain fog is homophobic because i try to think my gay little thoughts but before i can focus my brain fuzzes out like a 1980′s TV

[enbies-and-felonies]

no matter what this stupid site does, it ALWAYS comes back to castiel and/or superhell. you can’t escape superhell, you can’t escape eeby deeby, and you certainly can’t escape the plinko

[enbies-and-felonies]

if i had a little cowboy hat i would be unstoppable,,, little cowboy hat on my head with my comfy cowboy boots.... that would be the life

[enbies-and-felonies]

please, ma’am was my mother’s honorific. call me sir

[enbies-and-felonies]

well you see, i am normal and fine and *that* is why i listen to the same song over and over and over and over-

[enbies-and-felonies]

must one reply to a beloved mutual’s ask and messages? is it not enough to smile, silly and fond, before closing the app and not answering for another 3-5 business days?

[enbies-and-felonies]

creating art is like: i hope this kills me i hope i never pick up a pencil again i hope i look at this forever i hope my eyes burn out of my head i hope i die like this i hope i die before i have to do this again i hope i never stop creating i hope i never have to create again i hope my chest would stop burning with the incessant need to create