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#fic report
heynhay · 3 months
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scene from where the apple falls by @jupiters-junipers :-) wholeheartedly recommend any and all of her work
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justaz · 3 months
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arthur being able to feel merlins magic whenever he uses it bc it makes him feel all warm and tingly and at first he's stumped about it and goes to morgana for advice bc hello?? merlin makes him feel weird?? and its only merlin. it only happens when he's around. it's gotta be his fault. and morgana is like "lol nerd you like him" and he's like "oh fuck" bc he has the emotional intelligence of a walnut and begins to notice the warm and fuzzy feeling grows stronger the closer merlin is and is like "welp. im screwed" and then a magic reveal later and arthur notices the feeling happens whenever merlin uses magic and he's like "oh. thank god." and finally realizes the feeling was merlin's magic, not that arthur has feelings for him. it becomes the new norm and then merlin is dressing him for the day and makes a stupid joke before ducking arthur's hand that was going to cuff his ear, he laughs and walked around behind arthur and the warm, fuzzy feeling returns and he's like "stop. no cheating." and merlin is confused and arthur's like "i can feel you using magic, idiot. remember?" and merlin is like "i'm not using magic tho" and arthur scoffs like "alright, sure, whatever you say."
THIS becomes the new norm of merlin and arthur bantering and then arthur accusing him of using magic and merlin insisting that he isn't. then finally the feeling happens when merlin is staring directly at arthur, comforting him in a moment of vulnerability, and arthur can see his eyes remain blue but he feels as he normally does when merlin uses magic. he still accuses merlin of using magic but merlin just rolls his eyes and once again insists that he isn't, arthur can literally see when he uses magic bc his eyes flash gold. did they flash gold just now? hm? did they arthur? arthur then rebuts "then why did i feel all warm and fuzzy?" and merlin blinks thrice before grinning like the cat who caught the canary. he won't tell arthur about his feelings for merlin, he'll let him flounder for a bit. it's always fun to watch him be an idiot and as much as he wants to kiss his stupid face bc finally (finally) his feelings are reciprocated, it's enough for now to know that arthur feels the same. arthur is infuriated that merlin won't tell him. merlin is highly amused at his stupid not yet boyfriend
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arcventi · 10 months
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House rule: when Tim falls asleep on you, you cannot, under any circumstances, move. It's cat rules. You can't get up to pee. You can't get yourself water or a snack or the TV remote. You're stuck until he wakes up. Good luck.
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sixtysixproblems · 4 months
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i want to see Fox have the most chaotic ass relationship with some feral investigative journalists. and it somehow turns into a fix it fic. like this somehow leads to Palpatine getting taken down. how funny would that be.
like. journalists are fucking insane man (i mean this as a compliment), and insane in a way I think fanon Fox would 100% get along with. Like, what Palpatine didn't realize when creating a clone army to kill the jedi, is those clones might be very enthusiastic whistleblowers.
Fox stresses out the journalists by how much he's willing to divulge despite the potential consequences (or, yk, actual consequences cause it's palps), and the journalists stress out Fox bc they're catching up to Padme in number of assassination attempts. meanwhile--
Thorn: how many hours of sleep did you get last night
Journalist: i got like 30 minutes at my desk
Fox: omg twinsies
Thorn: nO
thorn's just. stressed.
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izzystizzys · 3 months
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TW: discussion of something approximating suicidal tendencies but with the usual crack programming of this blog
“Ah, High General Windu”, says Fox, pleasantly. “So we meet again.”
High General Windu raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him, Fox thinks, though it’s getting hard to tell with all the blood rushing to his head. “If I let you go, will you try to throw yourself out of another window?”
Fox makes a vague shrugging motion - or tries to, anyways. It’s hard to tell where any of his limbs are going, hanging upside down in the air as he is. “I am willing to discuss terms.” A bridge will do just fine.
Impossibly, the High General’s eyebrows climb even further up his forehead. “A compromise, then, esteemed Commander.” And so, he righths Fox the head way up in the air, but leaves him floating just above the ground, at which point several painted shells come skidding around the corner followed by billowing robes and screeches.
“WHAT”, says Kote, calmly, “THE BANTHA-KARKED, FORCE-LOVING KRIFF, FOX.”
“You’ll short out your helmet mic”, Fox advises him, sagely. Fondly, he thinks back to decimating his own on only his second time in the newly-christened official Coruscant Guard Scream Closet. He’d just received the comm about the Zillo Beast being transported to 000, and made sure to take his bucket off thereafter to improve the quality of his closet time.
High General Windu’s face does something complicated between sympathy and constipation.
Because the Galaxy doesn’t hate Fox enough already and Cody wasn’t enough on his own, Wolffe elbows his way through their batch to plant himself in front of him, shoulders squared and shaking with repressed rage. “If you try that again, dickhead”, he begins, in a low growl that quite frankly sounds more cringe that intimidating, “I’m going to resurrect you and then kill you again.”
“Ah, Wolffe”, Plo Koon says, in his deep, shivery timbre, “Remember our conversations about effective conflict resolution and communication of needs?”
Wolffe’s eyes narrow at Fox, because all non-Guard are sweet summer children who walk around buckets off on 000 like absolute lunatics. Fox prays they never have to find out why that’s a bad idea. “I feel”, his ori’vod presses out between clenched teeth, “that if you make me watch you throw yourself out of another window, I’m going to jump after you and strangle you on the way down, you little bitch.”
“That’s fair”, says Fox, and watches High General Kenobi bury his face in his hands. Wolffe twitches in place and makes an aborted groaning noise, the hypocrite.
“Excuse me, High Marshall Commander Fox, but I fail to see what’s so dire about this situation that the Jedi High Council and your brothers cannot help you solve”, says Windu, the only sane one left on this Force-forsaken bloated corpse of a planet. Behind the gaggle of Jedi and ori’vode already gathered in front of Fox, the rest of them come veering around the corner in a commotion that’s quite frankly embarrassing. High General Yoda is mounted on Skywalker’s back like he’s a race-Eopie, which is Fox’ only consolation.
He got up this morning at 0300, bleary-eyed and with a pounding headache as always, and all was right in the world. And then Fox got called into the Jedi High Council’s chambers and was ceremoniously informed that in the wake of Chancellor Palpatine’s unfortunate demise (hah), and through the emergency state of the Senate, as well as several invented promotions foisted on Fox to make the delegation of any and all paperwork less shady, he was now next in the chain of command and-
Well, Fox is the acting Chancellor, in short.
Haha, he had said, and been meet with several seconds of silence, until it got both awkward and exceedingly painful. Wait, he’d said. You’re kriffing serious.
Kriffing serious, we are, had said High General Yoda, and thus Fox launched himself out the first best window with a maniacal cackle of, you’ll have to catch me first!
And catch him, High General Windu sure did.
“The will of the Force this is”, Yoda interrupts Fox’ train of thought. He scans him thoughtfully from beneath his wizened brow, and hems to himself. “Shake things up, this will. Determine the fate of the Galaxy, this shall. A feeling, I have, that a good Chancellor you will make. A better one, hmmm.”
“That’d be high praise, if not for the fact that a dead lemming would make for a better Chancellor than the last one”, says Fox, drawing and indignant gasp from Skywalker. He doesn’t bother with either that or the green goblin’s cackle, lost in the deep sense of resignation that settles over his shoulders like a suffocating blanket.
“Alright, then, get me Thorn on the comm. As my first act in office, I’m firing all the Jedi. No offense, but you’re kind of a disaster. Then, someone get me to the Chancellor’s office, I’m calling Dooku to let him know the war’s off. And please get me Judicial, they’ll be up all night working on my datafolders - I’m having the Senate arrested.”
“Who - is - arresting - “, Bly pants, hands on his knees from where he’s just come sprinting around the corner with his Jedi.
Underneath his bucket, Fox smiles a smile that’s all teeth. “The Senate”, he says, sweetly, wondering if he’s just imagined the shiver that’s gone through the room. “I’m suing the Senate, and taking them all into temporary custody for abuse of sentient rights.”
#commander fox#corrie guard deserves better#sw tcw fic idea#look fox has been planning this coup for a while okay he just needed to adjust and get over the initial reaction of Fuck No#if they’re sentient enough for their signatures to have authoritative quality on military reports and to be promoted to chancellor on a#technicality then they’re sentient enough for everything to be victims of systemic oppression and abuse#fox still does not want this position and will yeet it the literal second bail organa isn’t watching his step religiously#a custody battle ensues between Corries and GAR ori’vode for who grts to tackle him (affectionate)#it is solved by getting a bigger room so they can all do it at once#thorn makes a point of jamming his elbow in some soft places. cody and co are disgruntled but accepting of this#he has a bit of a point admittedly and wolffe has to promise not to threaten murder again#plo makes him go to another Effective Interpersonal Communication Seminar (it’s the fifth that year)#anakin is initially outraged on padme’s behalf but she could literally not be happier#fully supportive of being arrested in the name of Fox’ Good#we can still do book club though right she asks. visiting hours don’t apply to chancellor probably#fox shrugs. it’s his next act as chancellor#count dooku: live slug reaction#the systemic issues fuelling the war cannot be solved with a phone call but in absence of someone with two braincells to rub together#the whole thing loses steam and strategy steadily#look it was always a sham that house of cards of a republic/confederacy was waiting to be blown over by literally any light breeze#general grievous implodes from pure rage. legend has it his last word was KENOBAAYYYYY. wipes away tear#thorn laughs so hard when he hears all this he cracks a rib#another day another post of utter nonsense#ponds makes sure to give his fox’ika a hug as soon as he’s floated down bcs ponds is the best#which is why he didn’t get it in the last ficlet for anyone wondering#the only functional one#much like mace windu
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pseudowho · 4 months
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I'm struggling with the amount of Nanami paedophilia fics I'm seeing here lately.
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(stupid meme edit by @pseudowho)
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foolishlovers · 9 months
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anything can be a good omens au if you’re unhinged enough
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Folding Laundry, Spy x Family mini fic
Decipher the intercepted report. Prepare intel for Handler. Pick up groceries. Loid ran through his seemingly endless list of tasks, calculating each step of execution and strategizing on the most efficient plan of action. But when he set the laundry to fold on the couch, Yor appeared with a smile.
“Let me help with that.”
It would take two minutes and thirty seconds to fold it himself, and he only had three minutes to spare on this mountain of clothes before he had to start on his patient files. But Yor was humming a tune as she started separating the clothes, and, after a moment, he sat down beside her and quietly started folding. 
The afternoon sun streamed in, warm and fuzzy. Bond yawned disinterestedly at them and shuffled into Anya’s room. Sitting so close to Yor, Loid wondered again why she never seemed to wear perfume. 
Focus. Like any operation, Operation Strix could collapse in an instant if he wasn’t vigilant.  There was the slightest tension in Yor’s shoulders, a slight discomfort or unsureness, that he’d noticed before in these very quiet moments. 
“Do you miss your life before this?” He asked, blunt in a way that only a moment like this could allow.
She looked up, surprised. Her eyes drifted to the window as she absently smoothed the creases in Anya’s frock. Loid found his next breath hinged on her answer.
“In an odd way, yes.” 
He knew it. Operation Strix was in danger.  He had to find out more, a way to fix this. He had to keep this fake family happy for the sake of world peace.  
Yor continued on. “After my brother and I came to the city, I was by myself. I kept a small apartment. Just a bed, a kettle, a few clothes. I didn’t go out much, didn’t have friends really.  Yuri would visit, of course, but he was busy with work.” 
Loid tried to picture this life and found a familiar echoing pang. “That sounds lonely.”
Yor shrugged. “It was all I knew. Pain doesn’t feel like pain when it’s all you know. But this?” She looked around, noticing the room and him in the same way he’d done. “This is unfamiliar. And that’s harder.” 
Her eyes widened, and red colored her cheeks. “Not to say that I don’t want this or- or I’m not grateful!” She rushed to explain. “This is arrangement has been the best thing to happen. It’s just…”
“New?” Loid supplied, though it wasn’t quite the right word.
She hurried through the folding, and a moment later, nervously asked, “Do you miss your life before this? I mean- I mean, before Anya and your first wife?”
Loid slowly buttoned the shirt he was folding. He remembered the brutal military camp he infiltrated to get close to an officer. The snooty soirée to seduce the minister’s daughter.  The loud explosions of the battlefield.
“There wasn’t much of a life before,” he admitted.
She nodded gently, and the slight tension in her shoulders eased. And to Loid’s surprise, so in his. They folded the rest of the clothes, taking in the warm sun and noises from the street. 
He gathered his clothes and she took the rest to hers and Anya’s rooms. Putting them away, he ran through his list of things to do again. He’d wasted too much time. He still had to prepare reports and patient files and get dinner. But the buzzing, stomach-turning anxiousness to get everything done had quieted, and that left him nervous and paranoid.
 So when he heard a ruckus, he rushed to Anya’s room, grateful for something to snap him out of this calm. 
Anya had gleefully seized Yor’s interruption to abandon homework and was playing spy with Bond and her toys.
“But Agent Anya, what about your homework mission?” Yor cried in her TV-spy voice. 
“The mission is in trouble! Agent Anya needs hot coca to save the day!” Bond borfed. “And cookies!”
“Okay, if Agent Papa says it’s okay to take a break,” Yor said, turning to him standing in the doorway.
“Agent Papa!” Anya saluted. “Hot cocoa and cookies!” 
Their eyes were shining bright in excitement. Bond wagged his tail. The house wasn’t just warm with the afternoon, but with the joy of this little fake family.
Loid remembered the cold of the military camp sinking deep beneath his clothes, leaving him freezing and sick. He remembered the bitter bile taste of choking back his words when highbrow ministers spewed hateful words.  He could feel the splintery wood of the makeshift cot as he lay at night, waiting for bullets to rain down on them in the morning. 
He put on his best impression of Handler for his waiting family, but he suddenly understood what Yor was talking about. All of his past lives were hard. Terrifying even. 
But not as terrifying as this. 
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california-112 · 1 month
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shanastoryteller · 11 days
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okay i know it literally lost the poll but the heart wants what the heart wants ect and 4 days and 20k words later here we are. it was supposed to be like 5k. to be clear. i hope the three people who voted for it like it T_T
dumb luck or good ghost
Dean wakes up after the accident and his father tells him that Sammy is dead.
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zaritarazi · 2 years
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Watched all the helnik scenes in s2 i'll post more spoilery content later today but i'll say i wanted more but i do get that they're setting up for if they get the big one and the last scene of theirs that they shared this season... ugh. My children.
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chyarui · 4 months
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What happens when padawan quin miraculously comes back from a shadow mission gone wrong…
More quinobi, now with a side of angst!!
And look, I adore quinlans locks, but sometimes sacrifices must be made for the plot (I will not ask for forgiveness)
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although most of his beautiful hair clasps are gone, at least obi was able to hold onto one for him (what he thought was likely the last piece of quin he had left) 💔
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poppy-s-rampage · 1 month
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Once a Hero.
Chapter 1: Too late!
Warnings: Blood, Gore and violence. You can't sue me now!
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Prologue| Masterpost| Chapter 2!
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The Master of time leaned over the unmoving form of his young protegee, forceps needle and thread in hands. The old ghost deftly redid the stitches on the youngest torso. Slowly but surely closing the jagged ‘Y’ shaped wound shut.
‘How did it come to this?’
All it took was one minute of inattention for the young Halfa's timeline to be put in jeopardy. In a single moment of inattention, Daniel’s timeline tangled with another stray unstable one and merged. By the time Clockwork noticed, the timelines were already fused to the point of no return. Reality wrapped to fit the new Frankenstein series of events. So he did what he could, snip at some parts, and twist at others to make it so his protegee could have a chance of survival and still having a goodish timeline.
The gaping wound now finally shut, the old ghost went to treat the boy’s muzzle cuts and throat. The apparatus, when destroyed by the wail, had split open the right cheek’s flesh from the corner of the Halfas mouth, carving a morbid half smile. The boy’s tongue was bloody but could still be salvaged with diluted ectoplasm. The real problem was the throat; it was impossible to currently heal to a usable level with the concentration of ectoplasm he could safely use on Danny.
He was no Frostbite, but he was more than capable of putting back together the young ghost in a Time out. Daniel was too unstable to stay in the infinite realms, his core still too raw for pure Ecto. It would be like feeding a 10-year comatose patient a buffet after being kept alive via IV, transfer the concept to a fragilized and forcefully balanced core, and you get the idea.  It was also a way to better realize the consequences of his mistake. But not to apologize, nothing would ever be enough to fix what Daniel had endured.
Clockwork stopped believing in apologies an eternity ago.
It all had happened so fast, Phantom had no chance of changing the course of events. Ironically, the current timeline was the best possible outcome after the incident.
While his protegee’s original timeline’s parents would have been accepting of his heritage, the ones of the intruding unstable timeline were not. ‘Monsters’ would have been too kind of a word to describe them. Curiosity plagued individuals who could have given Dan a run for his money. The origin of a world’s collapse, the cause of too many deaths, terrifying geniuses with an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and slaves of their obsessions. Even their children didn’t hold enough value for them to spare.
Thankfully, this world didn’t come to that and was still salvageable. Unfortunately, too many people have already lost their lives and existence to his mistake.
It had been like any tranquil day in young Daniel's life. He woke up groggy after a night of patrolling, went to school, hung out with his friends, patrolled a bit, saved a few weaker ghosts, stopped a few accidents and then went back home. The young Halfa had planned to finally reveal his identity to his parents- with no little insistence and encouragement from his sister and the reassurance of the previous Freakshow happenings. (He, of course, delayed the moment as much as he could.)
Of course, Clockwork had already watched and analyzed all the possible futures caused by this decision. He had assured Danny that no harm would befall him.
And since every possible happening was in Daniel’s favor, the ghost of time left the timeline out of his watch in favor of fixing yet another mess the Speedster’s had caused.
Seriously, what kind of mentally challenged troglodyte would erase an entire timeline to enjoy a cheap burger in loop instead of buying another!
*Crack*
The forceps broke in his hand. The Ancient summoned another one. Moving to stitch the lacerations on his king’s arms and legs.
It had, sadly, taken a while for the Master of Time to fix the Flash themed issues. It then took him an even longer while to salvage the tangled mess of timelines. He was far too late to save Danny’s loved ones. Humans, even Liminals, were fragile.
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The reveal had gone well at first, Jack and Maddie had accepted their son’s new nature. But then the timelines merged, the Fenton parents became one with their alternates and the world was set ablaze.
The youngest Fenton was promptly drugged and knocked out, only to wake up on a dissection table. His parents and a few GIW agents circling him, tools in hand. The hours, maybe days, Daniel spent in these creatures’ grasps were a nightmare made real.
His sister and friends tried to free him, only to be captured and fall victim to the same fate. Amity Park’s younger population mutinied against the agency and scientists but quickly got shut down. Brutally. The city was deemed a lost cause and put on lock down. The elder Fentons and the GIW galvanized by their success, went after every single being standing in their way in the name of science and self-defense.
It was too much for the young Halfa. His every waking moment being haunted by monsters wearing the skin of people he used to know and love. To hear the same people who raised and loved him gloating at the harm they caused his fraid. At the harm they caused him, vindictive. Every ounce of strength Danny had went into figuring out a way to save what he had left. But alas, he was too late.
Everything culminated the moment the agents and his parents reentered the room for the how manyth time. Their make believe faces fixed into a cruel smirk, smiles too wide, eyes too bright and too many teeth. Were the ghosts truly the monsters ?
Black opaque bags were dragged into the room next. A dreadful foreboding feeling caressed his spine. It was different. What were they planning?! What did they do?!
Panic seized the Halfa’s heart, hair standing on end. Eyes wide and pupils dilating as he noticed the strong smell of copper permeating from the bags.  His restrained limbs shaking at the realization of the truth he oh so wanted to deny. 
The monsters kept talking, taunting and accusing him of something. Blaming him. But he didn’t ‘hear’ them over his ever rising dread.
They opened the bags and his world came crashing down.
Three lifeless barely recognizable corpses. Chest opened in a bloody imitation of a butterfly. Missing limbs and organs. An innumerable number of lacerations. All indicators of a painful and slow death. But yet their eyes remained closed into acceptance and welcoming the relief of death.
He wailed.
Despite the muzzle, despite his already severed vocal cords. The wail coming from his very core blasted everything in his surroundings. The muzzle shattered, the monsters vaporized into a red mist and the walls became debris.
The building shook. The creatures in human skin panicked trying desperately to flee the premise but they were too late.
The latest experimental portal meant to be mass produced by the GIW resonated with the Wail and destabilized. The explosion that followed erased the facility and its surroundings and triggered the original Fenton portal which in turn wiped the city above off the maps.
Every single being died. The GIW agents, the Fentons, the citizens and some of the weaker ghosts. The stronger Phantom rogues weren’t even in the range or succeeded in escaping. The Fentons and GIW were still ‘thankfully’ useless when it came to capturing them.
And then there was Phantom.
Unfortunately or fortunately for him.
Forever the exception.
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Prologue| Masterpost| Chapter 2!
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Author note:
Hello! Thank you for reading! This time I didn't write this at 3 am!
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I wrote it at 5am! Insomnia says what?
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jacesvelaryons · 2 months
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Jacaerys Velaryon Previews
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Hey everyone! Wanted to give an update on the fic ideas I've got cooking so far, share my progress and build up excitement on what you'd like me to finish and publish first! (Don't worry I haven't forgotten my ongoing series and requests)
As always, please let me know what you think, I live for any interaction you give me, reblogs and comments who help me be encouraged to share this with everyone.
My requests remain open, and thank you for your patience.
masterlist
requests OPEN
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status: just came up with fic idea and made poster, after brainstorming with my muse @hxtd
summary/premise: y/n is feeling the effects of inflation as bills rise and tuition is due for school soon. good thing her friend jace, who happens to just be the grandson of the targaryen corporation chairman and hails from the richest family in existence. he promises to support her with no interest and due date to pay him back, other than to accompany him in return to events so they stop pestering him to find a girlfriend. rule number one? no feelings.
deals with mentions of the dark sides of sugaring, critically looking at sugaring, relying on rich men, nightlife, if you've seen baby (2019) on netflix
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status: poster, summary, brainstormed idea
summary/premise: reader is determined to get her husband back after the battle of the gullet. she uses magic to bring him back to life. he looks like jace, if you ignore the scars, and acts just like he did before, but it's slightly off. some horror elements if you squint.
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status: around 900~ words, sections written out of what to put, out of my fics the one most written already
summary/premise: like how Otto Hightower made his daughter wear her mother's old dresses to become the future queen, Y/N Celtigar hears of this and tries to see if the trick will still work for newly widowed Prince Jacaerys Velaryon after his late wife Baela passed in battle.
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status: poster, summary and idea
summary/premise: Inspired heavily by The Great as poster implies, Y/N Targaryen firmly believes in a prophecy her dear sister Helaena has shared one night, that she was meant for greatness, with a crown on her head as queen. enticed with grandeur for sketches and daydreaming of plans of how to improve westeros and rule, she knows her greatest shot to be queen is to get jace's fancy and convince her father the king and her mother the crown princess that there was no other option for his consort but her. no seduction at first, more teasing and brain games. smut to follow in later chapters if sequels turn the one shot to a series
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status: poster, summary, ideas
summary/premise: Reader was always the awkward one at King's Landing Academy, never fitting in, but Jacaerys Velaryon, heir to Targaryen Corp and descendant of one of the school's founders, never saw a reason to treat her otherwise. Until after one summer she shows up all glowed up, teenage features polished after puberty finally kicked in, and she learned how to do her hair, makeup and style herself to what suited her best. Now suddenly all the boys want her attention, and Jace ain't having it, knowing how superficial they were, and well, weren't there before she became the beauty standard.
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status: just the poster, idea and summary written up
summary: dealing with post partum mood swings and balancing wife of the heir duties, jacaerys being the most respectful husband and doting father never rushing you, just an angel, smut and all, just loving worship sex
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izzystizzys · 3 months
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There is a scratch mark on the floor of the Council chambers that Mace has never noticed before. Not a deep one, mind, quite shallow. This matters because it’s making the white-hot pulse of agony stabbing through his eyeballs ebb momentarily. Then, he chances a glance upwards at the fidgeting Knight in front of them, and it returns in full force.
Huh, he’s never seen Oppo Rancisis’ face turn that colour before.
“Hmm”, Master Yoda hums, deep and scratchy. His expression is unreadable even to Mace beyond a baseline gremlinness, and the force with which he grips the edges of his seat is making his bones creak. Master of the Order you should become, they said. Follow the calling of the Force, you should. A fulfilling purpose, it will be. Mace is going to hunt the little goblin for sport when this is all over, and he’s going to laugh the whole time.
“Show us the livestream again, could you, Knight Parvo?” Yoda asks. Mace bursts a capillary, he’s pretty sure, and so does poor Knight Parvo, whose orange Mon Cala skin tips all the way into blood red with stress. “Most unusual, this is.”
“Absolutely not!”, Ki Adi intervenes before Mace has to, thank the Force for little mercies. Plo Koon’s tusks tremble slightly with either suppressed laughter or abject horror, maybe both, and Stass Allie has her head in her hands. “The holo stills should be enough”, Ki Adi proceeds to add, and Mace has to reconsider all feelings of grace he just felt towards his fellow Councillor.
He never wants to watch Yoda zoom in on someone’s abs again. Or Depa raise her eyebrows at the curve of thighs bent over the dripping front of a speeder.
“Speeder Wash For Our Troops”, his former padawan reads out loud from a still of what has to be hundreds of the things gathered in the public senate parking lot. “Fund Our Boys And Get A Wet Seeing-To!” The series of images features dozens of Coruscant Guard troopers in various stages of unkitted, gleaming and shining with soap suds and water. The fact that the whole thing is also massive shatterpoint after massive shatterpoint is, quite frankly, insulting.
“Well hello- oh dear”, Obi-Wan’s blue form crackles to life in his chair, followed by several sounds of choking that are definitely not him. Good, Mace thinks acidly. If he has to deal with this, then so does kriffing Skywalker. “I’m sorry, why am I looking at Commander Thorn using a washrag like a lasso on top of a speeder?”
“Oh, the Guard’s little fundraising project”, Bail Organa says, as he steps into the Council chambers. Normally, Mace likes the man well enough. Now, he just smiles and adds on, “I’ve already donated, in mine and Breha’s name. Remotely, of course.”
“The Guard’s fundraising speeder wash?”, Obi-Wan repeats, edges of his holo form flickering with what Mace suspects is Skywalker very unsubtly trying to edge in. Force, but the man really is horrible at any and all stealth, like kissing his secret wife in an open arena in front of his Master. “And they are fundraising for…?”
“GAR budget allocations have to come from somewhere”, Organa shrugs. “And with the tide of public opinion turning, they’ve been tending towards cuts. The Guard feels them more keenly than any other sector - they’ve been reduced from half to quarter rations, and medical supplies have not made more than a token appearance in the last draft. The Chancellor has cancelled three consecutive meetings on the matter, and thus it was agreed that a more hands-on approach was needed. Any surplus will go into the Army fund.”
“Surely it can’t be that dire”, Oppo protests, a slightly less concerning shade of purple now. Senator Organa shrugs again, jostling the smattering of cracks slowly building around his person in a way that makes Mace wince quietly. “It’s all publicly available data, Masters.”
It really can be that dire, as it turns out. And quarter rations is only scratching the surface of how dire, considering the Guard has apparently never had access to bacta in all their posting, and also includes requisitioning forms available to the Senate for reconditionings and decommissionings, two words Mace has only heard Ponds whispers amidst shuddering in the early days of the war before Shaak Ti went off and just about tore some throats out over it.
“Alright”, he concedes, rubbing at his temples. “Fair enough, we have failed to tackle a massive blind spot in the Guard’s well being. There is no Jedi assigned to Coruscant, and that’s an oversight on our behalf. But how in the everloving kriff did this get past the Chancellor and Commander Fox?!”
Who have both signed, black on white. Bail Organa smiles cryptically. “Well, if you scroll a bit past that one image, up to the industrial speeder in the back - Commander Fox is currently having credits stuffed into his codpiece in the back, I believe.”
“HE’S WHAT IN THE WHAT NOW”, Commander Cody screeches through the speaker of Obi-Wan’s holo image, and Mace has to summon every bit of Jedi-serenity he possesses in his body to keep from dropkicking a cackling Yoda through the chamber windows.
#fox forged palpatine’s signature is how it got past him#it’s not like anyone can admit to that considering the backlog of official reports he’s been forced to do it on#‘come for me and we’re both going down bitch’ fox says#triple dog dare#fox himself is in such a constant state of sleep deprivation delirium that a sexy speeder wash sounded fair enough#or not worse than anything else that happens on the daily on coruscant anyways#padmé’s handmaidens make it rain with whoops of joy and take a commemoration selfie with all the commanders#‘wait. where’s kit?’ obi wan asks halfway through the meeting ‘wasn’t he supposed to land on coruscant an hour ago?’#‘oh No’ says the council collectively#‘coruscant daily breaking news: residents are horrified by half-naked nautolan streaking through the city apparently making for thr senate’#‘wait that appears to be JEDI MASTER KIT FISTO-‘#it’s very good advertising it turns out#the vod who suggested it (nuisance) gets promoted against his will#the remaining clone commanders have to be restrained first from dogpiling civilians launching their credits at corries#‘BUT GENERAL THEY’RE OBJECTIFYING FOX’ wolffe cries to plo koon#then from murdering several senators aides and the chancellor when certain records surface#‘this is all public knowledge??’ fox asks very confused and still dripping water under six robes his ori’vode launched at him on sight#‘i don’t understand where this is coming from?’#cody is too busy making slitting throat motions at anyone who looks at his vod’ika too long to bother responding#palpatine chokes on a raisin in shock and dies#‘BREAKING BREAKING NEWS: CHANCELLOR EXPLODES IN A BLACK CLOUD AT SIGHT OF WASHBOARD ABS’#and thus the galaxy is foxed#i’m leaving that typo#commander fox#corrie guard deserves better#coruscant guard#jedi high council#mace windu#oh mace my beloved i am so sorry but it’s so funny putting you in Situations#sw tcw fic ideas
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ilikeredcars · 11 months
Text
Two hearts, one love
Charles Leclerc x Wife!Reader
Summary: Formula's one cutest couple also happens to be between a reporter and a certain pilot in red
Warnings: Broken bone (leg)
An: Hiiiiii!! I'm very very proud of this work (so if you don't like it pls don't tell me 😌) anywhoss, just remembering yall that I'm brazilian so English is not my first language, that means you have to forgive me if I make any mistakes LOL, ENJOYYY!
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Being a reporter for Formula One truly isn't easy, but you love it and always did. You were indeed always fascinated by all the cars, drivers, teams and everything that had to do with the sport, so it wasn't surprising to anyone when you graduated college and soon got a job as a reporter to a highly successful TV channel. Your job was great, you could do together the two things you loved most, work for TV and Formula One. And that is how you met the third thing you love most: Charles Leclerc. He had just signed with Scuderia Ferrari when you two met. It was your first year as a field reporter, which meant you went around interviewing drivers, mechanics and team principals, basically anyone that you passed through who had time and knowledge enough to be interviewed. The day you two officially met was in the first Grand Prix of the season, it was qualifying day and Charles had just done amazingly well for such a young driver, fortunately the universe was on your side and you managed to get a interview with him, il predestinato, all dressed in red and with sweat dripping from his hair to his forehead and onto the sides of his face, that was the first time you saw him so close, and the moment he looked inside your eyes, the driver knew that the purpose of his life, was to make you his wife. And he did it, two years later you married in a beautiful church just outside Monaco, and it was the happiest day of your lives.
Current days
It is race week! And you couldn't be more happy with the excitement of every fan who passes by your side, you just love everything the paddock has to offer, maybe except for the giant cast on your right leg that couldn't go by unnoticed even if you tried. The week before you were walking home and in your way you encountered an old lady whose cane had fallen, without thinking twice you bent down to pick up the object for the poor woman who could clearly barely bend down, unfortunately for you, a car next to you lost control and hit you hard, fortunately he was not driving at a big speed and so the only injury you received was a broken leg, you were released from the hospital a day later with a cast on your leg and a crutch. And that's how you ended up here, this is officially your first race as Charles' wife and not as a reporter and you couldn't be more excited, with Charles help you got out of the car and was immediately flooded by questions and fans wanting to take a picture with your husband or wanting an autograph, you told him it was okay and gave him space to talk to the fans for about ten minutes. After some of the fans went away he walked slowly toward you with a giant smile on his face, "Sorry about that mon amour, let's get you to the garage okay?"
"Okay" You smiled and gave him a small kiss to his cheek, "I love you so much angel" "And I love you more bébé"
As you were walking to the red garage that was near the end of the paddock a reporter stopped you and you immediately recognized her as Rachel, the girl who was filling in for you until you took off your cast and could go back to work.
"Charles! YN! How are you love? Are you getting better after the accident?" She asked smiling towards you. She had a microphone in her hand and the cameraman had the camera pointed at you, Rachel can be your friend but this was still an interview and you had to be careful with what you and Charles said.
"Hey Rach! Fortunately I'm great! The accident wasn't too bad and I'm not feeling pain at all!"
"That is awesome YN!"
"Yeah! And let me tell you a secret..." You felt your husband's hand wrap around your waist and smiled. "...I have this great guy by my side who is helping me with everything I need!"
You turned to Charles who gave you a passionate smile and slowly pulled you in to give you a loving kiss (appropriate for the cameras around you, of course), you smiled and found home in his embrace.
"Okay okay, let's let the lovebirds be! Haha! It was great seeing you both. Good luck on the race today Charles and hope you get better YN!"
"Bye bye Rach! Thank you!"
"Merci Rachel" Said Charles before turning once again to you and helping you continue your way toward the garage. As soon as you entered the space you grabbed your husband's hand carefully.
"I love you so so much and I'm so proud of you my love. You have no ideia how much I look up to you"
"Je t'aime tellement mon ange, je l'ai toujours fait et je le ferai toujours"
*I love you so much my angel, I always have and I always will*
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