#fic: Unstable

[thelavenderelf]

Unstable Chapter 7 WIP

This chapter is taking SO LONG to write, and it's even more monstrous than the last one (currently looking at over 8500 words and I'm still not done writing). There is also a hint of what the sequel to Unstable will entail ;D So please enjoy the unedited part 1 of this chapter:

The first time Sylvana visited Nightingale Hall, it was dilapidated and cold. Memories that weren’t hers seeped from every crack in the stone walls, reaching out to her like the frail hands of a beggar, yet she was the desperate one. It feels like every time she’s here, she’s desperate; ready to sign her soul away just to get through the situation she is in. And here she is once again, sitting in the hall desperate for a solution, but at least she is in much cozier surroundings. It now feels like a proper home with the candle light and much cushier furnishings. 

“I can't thank you enough for doing this,” Sylvana says as she watches Karliah flip open a journal filled with sketches and notes on botany and potions. Each diagram is meticulously detailed with curly handwriting, explaining alchemical knowledge far beyond her simple understanding. What little she knows is from Karliah herself, the amazing woman she looks up to for so much. She’s able to pick out a few words as she props her head up on the table they sit at in Nightingale Hall. 

“You don’t have to. Kaidan is a friend,” Karliah states as she sets the journal open on a page of anatomical drawings of the effects of a type of poison on the body. “I won't be able to concoct a true antidote without knowing the exact ingredients, but I may be able to make something that will help based on his symptoms. Now, was his tongue blue?”

“Um, not that I saw,” Sylvana answers as she twirls a strand of hair around her finger, slightly tugging at it.  

“Okay, any purple crust around the entrance wound?” 

“No.” 

“Spots on the back of his neck?” 

Sylvana shakes her head. She can barely remember anything peculiar about Kaidan, but she chalks it up to being too distracted by the fact that he wasn’t waking up. 

“Is there anything you can tell me?”

“This may be a bit of a stretch, but I think I may have been struck with a similar knockout poison. The only thing that really stood out to me was that I dreamed.” 

“You dreamed?” Karliah raises a brow as she shuts her journal. “Are you sure you were poisoned?”

“I’m certain. I even found the bottle.” Sylvana pulls it out of her pouch and hands it over. 

Karliah uncorks it before taking a sniff, instantly recoiling from it. “Ugh, imp stool.”

“Yeah, it’s nasty.” 

“Hmm, I think there is a hint of mugwort which is strange, but it could explain the dreaming. An odd choice for a coma poison though.”

Sylvana’s eyes drift to the side, thinking of the strange Dunmer she met in Dawnstar. If anyone were to know a thing or two about dreams, it would be an ex-priest of Vaermina. Perhaps she should send Erandur a letter. “If only we could ask who made it.”

“Well, most alchemists add a hidden signature onto the bottle as a way to track them. If we’re lucky, we might be able to tell if this was bought at a shop or not.”  Karliah says before holding the small bottle up to a torch. “Ah, see! There is a bee scratched onto the bottom of the bottle.”

“A bee? As in the letter or the insect?” 

“The insect! Look!” Karliah passes the bottle back and Sylvana holds it up, scanning the crudely drawn bumblebee scratched onto it. 

“Do you recognize it?” 

“I don't, but it is a bit of a lead. Where did you get this?” 

“Silverhand,” Sylvana sighs. 

“Silverhand? What are they doing going after you?”

“I’ll spare you the gory details, but I raided a base of theirs, and turns out they all got sticks up their ass.”

“Was it at least worth it?” 

“As long as Kaidan lives? Yes.”

“I will do what I can to make sure of that, but I do want to examine him myself before attempting to make an antidote. I’ll head out in the morning, but there are a few stops I need to make before I go to Whiterun.” 

“Again, thank you. This means a lot.”

“Of course! And it’s good to see you again, even if it’s due to unfortunate circumstances.” Karliah smiles and grabs Sylvana’s shoulders before pulling her into a hug. 

“I know, I’m sorry it’s been so long. Everything has just been crazy, I can hardly keep up myself.” Sylvi relaxes in the embrace of her friend, letting everything go for just a moment. 

Karliah pulls back, only to cup Sylvana’s face to examine it like a doting mother. “I see that. You look tired, my dear. Have you been taking care of yourself?” 

“I’m alive, aren't I?” She offers a tired smile, but it only makes Karliah tut and shake her head. 

“Well, that is better than dead,” Karliah says as she pats Sylvana’s cheek. She moves to the other side of the room where she grabs a rucksack and begins to pack it. “Have you spoken to Brynjolf yet?” 

“Karliah!” 

“What? He’s been a mopey, neurotic mess who won't leave me alone since you’ve left. I’m surprised he didn't follow you out here.”

“I’m sure he’s not far behind,” Sylvana groans, plopping her head onto the table. She shouldn’t be surprised he’s acting this way despite the way they left things. He may present himself as this carefree man, but underneath is a graveyard of memories buried under mounds of anxiety that make him believe everything can fall apart in a moment. It’s been especially bad ever since Mercer betrayed the guild. The worst part is that she only adds to it. 

“He told me what happened, and I let him know what a fucking s’wit he is.” Karliah puts her journal into her bag, closes it up, and places the whole thing carefully near her bed. “I just don't understand what that boy was thinking, but that’s not why I ask. Maven’s been trying to move in since your disappearance, claiming that your absence nulls the contract.” 

“That contract has been nulled since we repaid our debt.” 

“She claims we still owe her, and I fear that she will continue to do so until she owns the entire guild.” 

“I won’t let that happen.”

“Sylvi, it was Maven who set you and your friends up on that job. She’s going to do everything she can to make sure it does happen. Look, I know you have a lot on your plate, but don’t forget about the responsibility you have to the guild.  And don’t forget that the guild is here to help you too. You’re not alone in this.”

Sylvana rubs her brow, attempting to soothe the headache starting to bloom. Of course, it was Maven, she should have known. This is perfect, just another problem to deal with. 

Fuck, she needs a drink. 

[luxaofhesperides]

For ghostlights: baby Ellie + tired Danny + Duke the baby whisperer?

He has no idea how his parents did it. 

Babies are exhausting. Toddlers more so. Any infants in the strange stage in-between? Doubly so. 

Ellie is wonderful and sweet and cute and such a terror that Danny genuinely has no idea how his parents managed to raise not one, but two kids. For all their eccentricities and absent-mindedness, he and Jazz turned out pretty well. Ignoring the whole halfa thing because that’s more his fault than theirs even if Jazz says they shouldn’t have created the dangerous environment in the first place.

That environment is exactly why Danny refuses to let Ellie go to his house in Amity Park. His parents say they’ve disabled all the weapons and ecto-sensors since he’s had to reveal himself as Phantom, but he knows that things slip their minds and if they can’t guarantee that the house is safe, then Ellie isn’t going in there. Simple as that. 

This means that they live somewhere else now. Danny had thought about it, during the hours Ellie was asleep and he was awake, exhausted and worn down to his bones, and took Jazz’s advice to accept Vlad’s offer of buying a house for him. Except he argued Vlad down to an apartment in a city of his choosing where he wouldn’t stand out too much and he would be safe, or as safe as he can be, from anyone trying to hunt down ghosts. 

So here they are. Standing in the empty living room of their new apartment in Gotham. 

Gotham may not be very safe as a city, but it’s good for two ghosts trying to pass as normal. 

Danny sighs yet again, and looks at the space he’ll need to fill. At least Vlad is footing the bill. It’s the least he can do for creating Ellie. Frostbite was the one who was able to stabilize her, though it was almost too late and resulted in her reforming as a baby, just one and a half years old. Jazz is the one who’s choosing most of the furniture, thankfully, so it’s something that Danny doesn’t need to worry about it.

It’s a new start to their lives and it feels so empty. So overwhelming. How did his parents do it? How do any parents do it?

Ellie smacks a small palm against his cheek and babbles lightly.

“I know, Ellie,” Danny says, giving her a tired smile. “Don’t worry, we’ll have this place looking good in no time.”

He adjusts her in his arms, then heads towards the bedroom. It’s the only room that has any furniture, and all that’s there is a bed, a crib, and a bookcase. There are a few boxes on the floor, labeled ‘bedroom’ and ‘clothing’ and ‘books’. Most of it came from his bedroom in Amity Park, but he’s pretty sure he caught Jazz sneaking a few things in before they closed the boxes and loaded them up into the car. 

“Can you be good for five minutes?” he asks Ellie. 

She babbles again and smacks his shoulder.

“I’m taking that as an agreement. Just let me open these boxes and start unpacking before you start causing trouble, okay?”

Ellie makes another sound, but it seems agreeable so Danny carefully lays her down in the crib and gets to peeling off the tape on the boxes. The opens the one labeled ‘bedroom’ first, finding blankets and sheets folded and stacked in vacuum sealed bags. One of them is his old childhood blanket, the one he carried around everywhere that was faded with age, barely blue, with white bunnies decorating it. 

He was so small when he had this. It makes him oddly emotional to unpack it and pass it on to Ellie, draping it over her so her pudgy little hands can grab at it. 

This is no time to cry, though! He forces himself to focus and makes his own bed, shaking out the sheets and fluffing up the pillows. He’ll worry about washing everything later; Vlad made sure to get an apartment with an in-unit washer and dryer, which means he was actually sensible while apartment hunting for Danny. 

He doesn’t mean to flop onto the bed once it’s made, but he ends up there anyways. He’s barely gotten a full six hours of uninterrupted sleep since Frostbite deemed Ellie healthy enough to leave his care. The drive up to Gotham was long and wore him down to his bones.

He doesn’t mean to fall asleep, but he does, drifting off as he wonders, distantly, when Jazz will be back from getting them dinner.

Ellie wakes him up at dawn with a loud cry. Danny jolts awake, heart pounding in his chest as he panics because Ellie isn’t here, she’s supposed to be in his arms, where is she? And then he sees the crib, where Ellie is staring at him through the bars, and he nearly collapses with relief. 

“Morning, El,” he says, voice rough from sleep, as he picks her up. She just stares up at him, then leans forward and rests her head against his shoulder.

It’s quiet moments like these that make his heart melt. Ellie’s had a hard life already; he wants to give her a better one, this time around. 

A quick check of the time on his nearly dead phone shows that it’s barely past six in the morning, and Jazz texted him a few times. All about furniture, saying that she didn’t want to wake them and that food is in the fridge. 

It’s only the mention of food that makes him realize how ravenous he’s feeling. Danny makes a beeline for the kitchen, ignoring everything else, and pulls out the boxes of take-out Jazz left stacked in the fridge. He devours it like he’s been starving for weeks, then gives Ellie her Ecto-Jello, the only food she’s allowed to eat until Frostbite gives the okay for solid, human food. 

Once he’s got her burped and cleaned up, Danny looks out of the kitchen and realizes that Jazz was very productive while he was asleep. The living room isn’t empty anymore; a dark green couch is against the wall, a low, rectangular coffee table made of dark wood in front of it. Two armchairs are on both sides of the couch, and a television has been installed, fixed into the wall. 

Jazz is asleep on the couch. Her legs hang off an armrest and she’s drooling slightly. 

Her phone is charging on the floor, so Danny takes it and snaps a picture of her for later teasing, then sends it to himself and writes a note to her that he’s going out with Ellie to explore the neighborhood.

He’s finally feeling more settled, energized from sleep and food.

In the warm dawn light spilling in through the windows, Danny looks down at Ellie and thinks that they’ll be just fine after all. 

. . .

Four months ago, Danny had hope. He was optimistic. 

Gotham was a fresh start, a new lease of life for Ellie. It is Danny’s attempt to be a single parent, sacrificing college for Ellie, and he’s planning to go out and beat the gangs black and blue if they start anymore shootouts in the next year.

He had just gotten Ellie to sleep. She was actually peacefully taking a nap.

And then a drive by shooter raced down the street, gunshots echoing down the road, and Ellie work up crying. She still hasn’t stopped, despite how Danny rocked her, soothing her as best he could.

They had been outside when Ellie fell asleep, her head on his shoulder. He had been catching up with Sam and Tucker when the car drove by, people ducking and crying out to avoid the bullets. Danny instinctively covered Ellie and made them both intangible, saving them from any stray bullets, but they ruined her nap and he needs to make them pay for that. 

“Shh,” he soothes, “You’re okay. We’re both fine. It’s okay, El, it’s okay.” 

Her little hands clutch at his back, twisting the fabric of his shirt, and she lets out a heartbreaking wail. He pats her back, hurrying down the street to get back to his apartment building, ignoring the looks people were giving them as they passed by. 

“I know it was scary, but you’re alright. You’re always safe with me, El.”

Ellie’s cries down down a little, but they don’t stop. She whimpers, burying her face against his shoulder as he finally reaches their apartment building.

The door’s locked, which wouldn’t be a problem except Danny can’t get his keys from his pocket. He knows he has them! But his pocket refuses to relinquish them and he has to stop every few seconds to pat Ellie’s back, trying in vain to calm her down. 

“We’ll be inside in a second,” he tells her, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice, “as soon as I can get these freaking keys!”

“Hey, you alright?”

Danny startles, whirling around so fast it makes Ellie go quiet, clinging to him so she doesn’t get flung into the air. There’s a guy standing before him in a gray hoodie, looking at him with clear concern. It speaks to Danny’s level of constant exhaustion that he hadn’t clocked someone sneaking up behind him. 

The guy offers an awkward smile. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you or anything. Um, do you need me to open to door? I live here too.”

Danny wonders for a moment if this someone dangerous, someone hoping to hurt Ellie, but she starts to cry again and he steps to the side. “Please. I can’t get my keys.”

“I’m Duke, by the way. I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before.”

“Danny,” he replies, watching as Duke pulls out a large key ring, jangling with the amount of keychains on it, and easily opens the door. “I’ve been here a few months, but I’m usually inside. Or walking around in the mornings with this little monster.”

“That would explain it,” Duke says as he holds the door open, letting Danny in first. “I’m usually in classes at GCU, but I decided to take a mental health day after my lab, so here I am.”

Danny walks in and waits for Duke to follow, making sure the door closes properly behind them. “Thanks. How is GCU? What do you study? I was thinking of going there myself once she gets a little older and can go to school.”

“Oh, I’m majoring in English and Human Services.” He goes to say more, but Ellie wails again and Danny winces.

“I’m so sorry. That drive by woke her up and it’s really rattled her.”

“Hey, no need to apologize. I get it, Gotham is rough to kids.”

Danny tries rocking her back and forth, but it doesn’t help. He resigns himself to another hour of her crying before she exhausts herself, and makes for the stairs, going up to the fourth floor. Duke holds open the door again, then follows after them. It makes Danny wonder if Duke is planning to do something to them, then decides he can beat Duke in a fight, so it’s fine.

Duke doesn’t try to hurt them or steal Ellie away. He opens the door to their floor and stops before they do. “I’m in here,” he says, “If you ever need me to open more doors.”

“Thanks. Um, actually, I might need help opening mine?”

Duke just smiles and makes his way back to them, following them farther into the hall until Danny stops in front of his apartment. 

“If I could just get my keys,” he starts.

“Here, let me hold her for a second so you can get them,” Duke offers. Danny wants to insist that it’s fine, but Ellie cries directly into his ear and Danny, at the end of his rope, passes her over. 

Like magic, Ellie settles as soon as she’s in Duke’s arms. She sniffles and hides her face away, clutching to Duke’s hoodie, but she stops crying. They both go still, surprised, and stare down at her. 

“Seriously?” Danny says as he finally pulls out his keys, “Are you trying to say that I’m the problem?”

Ellie babbles lightly, and Duke turns his head to futilely hide his grin.

He grumbles as he unlocks the door and pushes it open. Ellie is acting as if she’s never been upset before a day in her life, making herself at home in Duke’s arms. 

“I can’t believe this. Betrayed by my own blood.”

Duke laughs as he follows Danny into his apartment, lightly patting Ellie’s back. “It’s always the smallest, cutest ones that do this.”

“Yeah? Do you work with a lot of kids or something? Used to being betrayed by the little ones?”

“I don’t work with kids per se,” Duke says, “But my foster family is a hot mess and the youngest of them likes to keep us all on our toes.”

“Family,” Danny says in a tired, fond tone.

“Family,” Duke agrees.

With his door open and Ellie calm, Danny’s ready to just lay face down on the floor for the rest of the day and not deal with anything else. He moves to take Ellie back, holding his arms out, and Duke tries to pass her over.

The key word being tries. 

Ellie tightens her grip and kicks at Danny. She refuses to be taken away from Duke, making him awkwardly try to pry her off his hoodie. Danny really hopes Duke doesn’t notice how she goes slightly intangible to make his hands fall through her arms and legs. It shouldn’t be noticeable, but it’s hard to focus on anything but a kid that clings to you, so Danny holds out for Duke’s goodwill and silence.

“As nice as it is to meet you, you need to go back to your… parent?” Danny nods when Duke looks at him in askance. “You need to go back to your parent. Okay? Come on, kid, he’s waiting for you.”

Ellie shakes her head, makes a frustrated noise, and then turns and reaches out a grabby hand towards Danny. 

She still refuses to be taken from Duke when Danny tries to pick her up again, so he settles with just letting her hold two of his fingers. 

“I’m so sorry about this,” he says to Duke, face burning. This is why he hasn’t been going out and being social since he moved in; Ellie is a handful even on the best days, and Danny doesn’t want someone to judge him as unfit to parent her and have her taken away.

Duke shakes his head, stepping closer. “It’s all good, man. I don’t mind. It’s not like I had any plans today. I’m already skipping my classes, might as well spend it with you two than sleep all day.”

“Are you sure? I’d be happy to invite you in, but I know Ellie can be a lot and not everyone wants to spend their day off with a baby.”

“I’m sure. Besides, I’d just be down the hall anyways. It’s no skin off my back, man.”

“Well,” Danny says, stepping to the side to give Duke full access to his open doorway, “Come on in, then.”

Ellie keeps them connected, one hand in Duke’s hoodie and the other holding Danny’s fingers, and though her cheeks are still red from how hard she had been crying, she’s calm now with her eyes shining with mischief. 

As the door closes behind them, Danny realizes that this is the first time someone he’s not related to has been inside his apartment. Not even Vlad has come in, always choosing to invite Danny and Ellie out for lunch instead. 

It should make him nervous, but Duke is calm and easy going and kind. 

He’s making silly faces at Ellie to make her laugh, completely at ease with her in his arms, as if he’s done this a thousand times before. 

Gotham is a second chance at life for Ellie. It’s a sacrifice for Danny, to be alone and without friends or family around. He’d been ready to give up everything for Ellie, to focus solely on raising her, but with Duke filling his apartment with laughter, he thinks that he can make a life here too.

All he needs to do is take that first step, reach his hand out, ask Duke to stick around.

He can do this.

[d3arapril]

modern!ellie headcanons

my take on modern ellie. why? cos i love her 🙄 pls enjoy! feedback appreciated as alwayssss~ <3

✧ warnings: brief we3d mention but other than that, none! just ellie being ellie. safe for all audiences!

ellie was quite reserved when u first met and now ur dating she can still shut down sometimes but she's working on it

she's quiet if she doesn't know u...if ur close... ur gonna wish u weren't

literally NEVER shuts up sometimes?? she can be like one of those wind up toys and chatter on and on for HOURS if she's in the right mood

knows random facts about the most obscure things

"babe did u know that there are more than 60,000 tree species on earth??" *silence* "uhhh.... thanks el?"

CHRONICALLY ONLINE!!! knows every meme under the sun, would still use xD un-ironically if u didn't bully her for it

her tiktok screentime is probably like 7 hours a day bc she could spend endless hours just laying in bed scrolling, u get home from work/school and she's sent u 30 messages. u watch every single one <3

she's fairly active on instagram but doesn't really care about followers etc... just posts random photos whenever she feels like it and has several photo dumps dedicated to her fav pics of u. has a highlight called ‘❤️’ with pics of u

would comment on other ppls tiktoks but not post her own vids.. she’s a bit of a troll sometimes LOL

bites her nails/fingers all the time til they bleed... it's a habit

u got her the nail polish that tastes nasty to try and help her reduce the amount she bites her nails but she just started enjoying the taste of it 😐

"i thought this was supposed to taste bad???" she'd ask u with a thumb shoved in her mouth

so obviously gets bitches but is so oblivious to her surroundings and doesn't notice people ogling at her whenever you're walking around together

however if people are looking at u?? its on sight

gets very jealous very easily and has a mad short temper. lowkey toxic sometimes

will wear an 'i love my girlfriend' t-shirt without even being asked because..she loves u..duh?

leaves u notes all around ur home... u open the fridge and she's written on the empty carton of milk that she left in the fridge :/

'i love u ps were out of milk :('

wears flannels/hoodies, vests/plain tshirts and baggy jeans (maybe skinny jeans if she’s feeling crazy. u tell her she’s outdated) with converse every day. 'lesbian uniform' she calls it...

carabiner queen but doesn't actually have any keys attached to it, just keychains... her fav is the spiderman one she won at the arcade. also has a fidget cube attached. Locked And Loaded

tobey maguire is her favourite spiderman :) closely followed by andrew garfield. she says she’d probably have a crush on him if she liked boys. also loves wanda.. obviously

listens to old 2016 rap.. fetty wap has been in her top 5 spotify artists for the past 2 years

also listens to deftones (her fav songs are teenager and cherry waves btw)

uses wired earphones still because she can’t let go.. they’re busted and chewed up to hell but somehow are still going strong

i’m a strong believer that ellie would LOVE watching berleezy and quotes his videos ALL THE TIME. it's "..and bricked.... hello!" whenever she sees u looking nice (which is all the time to her)

knows all the fnaf lore (somehow?? shes never even played it)

super light sleeper, always tossing and turning and she's actually fallen out of bed several times bc she gets so ridiculously restless

always sleeps in until she only has around 15 mins left to get ready. is somehow rarely late

she has no skincare routine but has perfect skin 🙄 just washes her face with some random cheap face wash she found on sale and moisturises when she remembers. she also doesn’t use conditioner bc she ‘doesn’t believe in it’ but has soft hair? tf

always staring at u? she frowns a lot but when she looks at u her entire face softens and she has that lil half smile that she doesn’t even realise she’s doing

u guys have an intricate secret handshake that she practised in her own time so she could get it right

her journal is full of sketches of u, poems about u… girl is so in love sometimes it scares her a lil

made a scrapbook for ur birthday full of everything she’s kept from everywhere u have been together, she even kept the stickers from ur starbucks drinks and stuck them in there <3

wrote a lil song for u and waited until ur bday to sing it to u for the first time… she got so embarrassed straight after so she just hid under the covers

big ol stoner! if u dont like weed she won’t smoke when she’s with u but if u also smoke/don’t mind she’ll loooove to smoke w u. gave u her fav grinder as a token of her love

tried to make special brownies but u both burnt them to a crisp 😔 el tries so hard to be optimistic (for once) “it’s fine babe we can just eat it anyway” “ellie it’s literally crumbling when u touch it…”

tried to stick n poke herself several times but couldn’t commit so she just has unfinished pieces on her upper thighs

loves head scratches and pants like a dog when u scratch the right spot

is this emoji 🧍🏼‍♀️ frequently

that’s all folks (for now……) …. i love her

[ulgapodatkowa]

I wish all the Beelzebub/Gabriel shippers and enjoyers a year of good fortune and I ask them for prayers and manifestations for those beneath them

[celestialwrites]

“they were just being mean-”

“what is their first and last name? home address? what about family members?”

[darkbluekies]

Hi, could I please request one for Hedwig where her darling tries to end the relationship not because they don't love her but because they believe they aren't good enough and could find someone better.

since darling always hears people wonder how someone like them got someone like Hedwig.

[I really, really enjoyed this one, i think its one of my favorites!! I love writing unstable yanderes <333]

I'd kill for you!

Female!yandere OC x reader

Summary: people have been telling you that you don't deserve Hedwig and when you're trying to break up with her, all Hell breaks loose. She can't let you break up with her.

Warnings: clingy yandere, possessive behaviour, obsession, love bites, angst, suggestion towards killing

Word count: 1.8

To Hedwig’s protests, you did actually sleep at home yesterday. She wants you to be as close to her as possible at all times of the day. This morning, she tells her chauffeur to drive quicker to school so Hedwig can meet up with you before class. 

You’re sitting in a chair in the back of your classroom. You’ve placed your bag on the seat next to you to make sure no one else will sit there. To be fair, you need a little break from Hedwig and her suffocating thoughts. If you let her know what you’re thinking, she will babble until you change your mind and think like she does. You have to get your head straight and make a list in your head before approaching her. If you’re not strict and firm on your ground, she’ll break you down. 

People have been saying that you don’t deserve someone like Hedwig. She’s out of your league in every way possible. Their jealousy has carved a hole in your brain and caused your self esteem to spill out. People haven’t been secretive with their opinions about you. You’ve heard it all. You would be lying if you said that it didn’t make your heart clench. Hedwig is your everything. You have no other friends than her — which is all thanks to Hedwig — and she treats you so well. She gives you everything you want, brings you with her for the smallest tasks and stands up for you when others track down on you.

She deserves someone better than you. 

Hedwig enters the classroom with a smile, happy to sit beside you. Except for when she’s about to move your bag, you stop her hand. 

“I’d like to sit alone today”, you say.

“Why?” Hedwig asks. “Is something wrong?”

“I just need to be alone for a little while.”

“Does this have anything to do with the fact that you didn’t want to stay over at my house last night?”

“Yeah …”

Hedwig places her handbag on the table and takes your hands in hers. You try to pull them out of her grip, but she won’t let you. 

“Please tell me what’s wrong, Y/N”, she pleads. “I will do anything. If I have done anything to make you sad, I will fix it immediately.”

“You haven’t done anything”, you sigh and avoid her doe eyes. “I just want to be alone for today.”

“Oh … okay …”, Hedwig says quietly and takes her designer bag. “I’ll … I’ll leave you be then … I love you, Y/N.”

You mumble something back but neither you or Hedwig is sure of what it is. She sits down by one of her friends and gives you a worried glance over her shoulder. You notice it, but you ignore it. Instead, you lean your head down on your arm to hide your face. Hedwig’s friend seems surprised that she’s sitting beside her for once, but Hedwig doesn’t give her any attention, all of her focus is on you. None of you listen to what the teacher says, you being too scared of how to break your thoughts down easily to Hedwig and her head being filled with worry for you. You’ve never asked her to sit somewhere else. Even in your darkest moments, you’ve let her sit beside you. 

As soon as the break starts, she walks back to your table. 

“Do you need anything?” she asks. 

You shake your head and stand up, grabbing your things. 

“Y/N, please talk to me”, she begs with a worried voice. “Tell me what’s wrong! I’ll help you.”

“I don’t know how to say it to you, so I’m waiting until I can come up with a good structure”, you sigh. “Give me some time.”

She gulps. “Okay … okay, I’ll give you the time you need, but can I please be with you?” 

She takes your hand, but you pull yours away. Her hazel eyes fill with tears and you have to look away before you give in to her. Again. 

“Y/N, please”, she whispers with a trembling voice. “You’re scaring me. Please tell me what’s wrong. Please let me be with you. I-I’m not going to make any sounds, I’m not going to bother you at all!” Her voice dies out. “I just … I just need to hold you.”

You want to give in and tell her to come with you, but you don’t. It’ll hurt her now, but she’ll be much happier when she realizes how much you weigh her down, just like everyone tells you. 

You leave the classroom and hear how Hedwig starts to sob behind you. You can’t see how she wipes her tears and gives you a glare through the window. She’s not going to give up on you so easily. 

The next day, it’s the same. You’ve placed your bag on the chair beside you and denies Hedwig access to it. You can tell that she’s more of a ticking time bomb today, about to explode at any minute. She’s touch deprived and needs your presence to keep her at bay. Everyone else’s attention doesn’t matter, it doesn’t satisfy her the way yours do. 

“Get up”, she says sternly. “We need to talk.”

“Class is about to start”, you remind her. 

“Get up, Y/N. Now.”

Surprised by the sudden strength in her voice, you find yourself doing as she says. She grabs your hand tightly and drags you out of the classroom, away from everyone’s eyes. You get pulled through corridors until she reaches the empty bathroom. She pushes you up against the wall to prevent you from running away. 

“What is going on?” she asks frustratedly. “Why are you avoiding me?!”

You have never seen her eyes so light before. It’s as if they’re burning with anger. 

“Why can’t you tell me?” she asks. “I don’t care if you don’t have a good structure to not hurt me, this is hurting me! This … this game of ‘show don’t tell’! Just tell me! I don’t care if it’s bad. Stop torturing me!”

“Fine … I think we should break up-”

“B-Break up?”

The furious light in her eyes is gone as quick as it appeared. Her doe eyes widen as she shakes her head, denying what you just said. 

“Hedwig-”, you start, but her trembling voice cuts you off. 

“Don’t you love me anymore?” she asks. “Have I done something-?”

“No, you haven’t. It’s just … I’ve heard that other people look down on us. They say that you deserve someone better than me and I’ve come to agree.” You shrug sadly. “You’re a great girl, Hedwig … and I don’t think you realize yet that I’m just ruining your reputation. I care about you so I can’t let you waste your last year of high school like this.”

“‘Waste’?” she repeats in shock with tears in her eyes. “Y-You think I’m wasting my time with you? Please don’t say that! I really love you, Y/N … a lot. Much, much more than you could ever imagine.” She grabs your face in her shaking hands. “I-I’d bring down the moon for you! I’d give you every diamond in the world! I’d … I’d kill for you!”

You shiver. Her voice has never sounded so raw before. She’s turning into a sobbing mess and you’re afraid that she’ll break. If she breaks, so will you.

“Please don’t leave me”, she cries and caresses your face with her thumbs. “I-I don’t care what other people say! I’ve never been happier than when I met you!”

“I care about you. I don’t want you to be badly treated as well.”

“I don’t fucking care, Y/N!” she shouts and leans her forehead onto your shoulder, suddenly losing all her energy. Her voice dies out again. “I want you. I don’t want anyone else. Please … please don’t let this end. You love me too, don’t you?”

You nod, voice not holding up. 

“We don’t need other people’s approval”, Hedwig says and nuzzles her wet face into your warm neck. “We only need each other, right?”

“Are you sure you want to take the risk?” you ask. 

Hedwig nods and kisses your neck once. “Of course.”

You sigh and nod for yourself. Maybe she’s right. You wish you had her confidence and determination. She doesn’t care what other people think. If only you could do that too. 

Hedwig pulls back and wipes her runny nose with the sleeve of her white cardigan. 

“So we’re not breaking up?” she asks quietly. “Right?”

You shake your head and she breaks out into a relieved smile. She dries her tears and hugs you, leaning her head on your shoulder. You hug back, holding her gently in her arms. Her happiness quickly turns into anger when she realizes that these thoughts of yours actually weren’t yours. People have been tainting her perfect darling to the point where you want to leave her. She can’t let you and her be surrounded by people who try to break you up. 

“Y/N, could you please tell me who made you feel like this?” she asks carefully. 

“I don’t know their names”, you admit. 

“You can point them out in the yearbook, can’t you?”  

“I think so.”

“Good.” She pulls back and smiles at you. “Everything will be okay, Y/N. I promise.”

You give her a small nod. Hedwig looks down at your neck, thinking. 

“Can I mark you?” she asks. “Please? I want to show people that you’re not going anywhere.”

You nod again. Headwig dives into your neck to create her own watermark on you. No one can steal you and claim you as theirs. The small, almost inaudible sounds you let out convince her that she can never let you go. She loves them so much, she needs to hear them. 

“So beautiful”, she smiles as she looks at her creation. “Now, let’s go back to class. I’ll sit beside you now.”

“Your makeup”, you remind her. 

“Oh right, thank you.”

She fixes her makeup and in a matter of five minutes, no one can tell that she’s been a crying mess. She smiles at you and holds out her hand. You take it and together, you walk back to class. The teacher scolds you for being late, but Hedwig tells him that you were helping her with something. The students can clearly see the mark on your neck and probably think you ‘helping’ her meant something completely different. 

When you come home to Hedwig’s gigantic villah after school, she sits you down on her bed and gives you the yearbook and a red pen. You have to circle everyone you’ve heard talk badly about your and Hedwig relationship. She leans against you while you let the pen mark out the students. Hedwig watches carefully, eyes darkening. Those people will pay dearly for trying to take you away from her. She will hire someone to take care of it for her and then you’ll never have to be afraid again. You’ll be able to live happily ever after with Hedwig!

[tul1ps1]

skin (AU)

angst! satoru gojo x y/n

mentions of! self harm, break up, smut, mentally unstable reader, cheating (possibly more)

🥀 🥀 🥀 🥀 🥀 🥀 🥀 🥀 🥀 🥀 🥀 🥀 🥀 🥀 🥀

satoru thrusted roughly inside of you, he had you pinned down hard onto the bed, not allowing you to move. causing you to scream and moan in discomfort. but something felt off. he wasn’t spilling sweet nothings into your ear like usual. instead all that came out his mouth were a few grunts here and there. and he was being oddly rough, not in a kinky way, in a way he was hurting you. sex is supposed to be making love to your partner, but there was no love going on here. it seemed like you were being used as nothing but pure stress relief right now. “fuck.” he murmured once he came inside you. satoru wasted no time in pulling out and getting dressed. what was going on? he silently put on his clothes with a cold look on his face. the blue ocean eyes you once knew, quickly became lifeless grey ones. who was this man that stood before you? breaking the silence he finally spoke, “y/n.” the room was quiet and dark. you could only see satoru through the gleaming moonlight. slowly sitting up, covering your exposed body with the sheets, your voice choked, “baby, whats wrong?” never in your entire relationship with satoru have you felt the need to cover your nude body around him. he made you feel so beautiful, so loved. but now only insecurity came over you. the look in his eyes now had no love, they almost looked shameful. like he felt ashamed for fucking you right now.

silence. satoru had now put on his shoes, clearly he was leaving. “lets end things y/n.” hearing those words come out of his mouth shattered your heart into a million pieces. why? how could he leave you like this? after everything you two have been through? after mentally and physically healing you? how selfish could he be? anger, confusion, and sadness came over your body. “don’t do this, please satoru.” you trembled, however managed to swallow the tears. you wouldn’t cry infront of him, not now. he leaned closer to you and cupped your face with one hand, caressing your cheek with his thumb. “i have feelings for someone else. im sorry. i didn’t want it to end this way.” with that being said he grabbed his things and left, leaving you with so many questions and thoughts. tears came rushing out of your eyes. tears turned into sobs, and sobs turned into wails. your mind suddenly went to a dark place it used to be in. you turned your attention to the cabinet drawer next to your bed. there it was. your body froze before picking it up. you winced and clenched your hand as the razor sliced your wrist. you watched as the blood dripped down onto the white bedsheets leaving a puddle of blood. oh how you missed this. the comfort it brought. the physical pain washed over you, pushing the mental pain away. the more the razor cut your skin, the more relief you felt. but you knew the feeling was only temporary. just like satoru’s love for you.

hours has passed and you stayed in bed. you were still naked, havent moved a inch. after crying so much, you felt somewhat numb, but tears kept streaming. the pain from your wrists still stung, the cuts were pretty deep. however you didnt even bother to clean up the mess so the bloody razor remained as well as the blood on your skin. satoru gojo offically had blood on his hands.

authors note! to the people who read this, should i keep going with the story? and i wanted to mention if there are any errors im sorry, english isn’t my first language :) ! i apologize for the overuse of the pronouns such as he, him, you, etc. i really wanted to show the readers pov. i hope you guys like this as much as i enjoyed writing it, much love <3

[tideswept]

in the face of all that isn’t yet [e] → chapter 4

The glare of the city lights bores into Obi-Wan’s eyes. He’s been staring out the window, throat snarled with nerves, for too many hours. His shoulders hunch close to his bowed head, index fingers pressed over the bow of his mouth as if to pinch his lips shut against the barrage that might spill out if given the chance. He hasn’t slept yet. Unpacked yet. Hasn’t prepared a report for the Council. All he’s done since that damned chronometer slipped into his waiting palm is sit at the edge of his bed like a beaten creature.  He feels like a great, sodding fool.

[lovesickeros]

☆ what a kind god, what a cruel god

{☆} characters zhongli {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings blood, light angst {☆} word count 0.5k

You are a kind God - with hands that heal instead of hurt. Words that forgive, instead of rightfully insult. The stories do little justice to the breadth of your gentleness, extending your love to the slimes that coalesce at your feet, eager to know the touch of the Divine. The birds that sing with the wind your praises from upon your shoulder.

But to him, your kindness is so very cruel.

They do not deserve it. He does not deserve it.

Your forgiveness should be a blessing after all they have done, but it feels like swallowing acid instead. It makes him feel sick and lightheaded, throat constricting until he struggles to breath against the weight of his sins, heavy upon his chest.

He wonders if your hatred would be easier. Even apathy, he thinks, would be preferable to the way your screams intermingle with the softness in your voice as you cradle his face between his hands within his dreams. Even in the waking world, your every word is shadowed by broken pleas, drowned in golden ichor as it rises up your throat, silencing your screams - it haunts him, and he cannot handle seeing the way you look at him in concern. He does not deserve it.

Try as he might, he cannot forgive himself. He does not think he ever can - not when he wakes to the feeling of blood on his hands, his tongue, filling his lungs until all he tastes and smells is blood.

If you had been a little less kind, he thinks he would find comfort in your cruelty.

Your anger would be a mercy.

But you are not. You are..kind. Gentle. So many things he once praised on bruised knees at an altar that towered far above him, drowned in gold and silks, every word he speaks a prayer to the most Divine. And he cannot bear the weight of knowing that he could have destroyed that part of you - he cannot bear knowing that he didn't, and you look upon the man who wore your blood like a second skin with a kindness that burns him like a hot iron.

He did not deserve such a loving God.

"..Zhongli?"

He pauses in his internal struggle, hands shaking on his lap. He clenches them into fists, blunt nails digging into his palms until they stop - yet you look at him with furrowed brows, concern gleaming in your eyes, and he feels sick all over again. But for you, he would do anything. Even if it meant pretending he did not feel like a monster in a mortals skin when you smiled at him like he was worth anything.

"Yes, Divine One?"

He chokes down the phantom taste of iron upon his tongue, forcing himself to smile to soothe the worries that crease your brow.

"You said you'd take me to the Chasm today."

He feels..relieved as the worry melts away from your features. It is the very least he can offer - he shall take upon your burdens, your worries, so that you may look upon Teyvat with love, and not fear. He will carry the sins of the many, so that you may look upon the nations with pride, and not horror.

It is all he can do, to ease the way his chest aches when you smile at him, hand tugging at his sleeve and forcing himself unsteadily to his feet.

He does not deserve you - but for today, he can pretend. Just a little while longer.

[thelavenderelf]

Unstable Chapter 6 is out!

Vilkas and Sylvana travel to Riften where they come across some familiar faces.

Please enjoy this monster of a chapter!

[dukeofthomas]

"Jason just needs to see things from his family's perspective and understand how much they love him (despite them never actually communicating or showing him through their actions)" is out. "The batfamily putting a single bit of effort into understanding Jason and reconciling with him on his own terms" is in.

[love-toxin]

can't believe this lanky little popsicle stick with long hair has me thinking about being some kinda child-bearer, in THIS economy⁉️

[mistylacrimosa]

So AO3 is down again

[cha-melodius]

I know I’ve told you this before but it can never be said enough times imo - your fics have changed my brain chemistry and I literally think about them all the time. Specifically False Dichotomy, Body and Soul(mate), and All the Old Showstoppers. But there are so many other great ones, I couldn’t possibly list them all here. Basically everything you write is a home run and I’m so grateful for the time and effort you put into your stories, they bring me so much joy. 🙏💖

Oh you have no idea how much I needed to hear this lately (or maybe you were able to divine it from my slightly desperate tags lol). And I do have to also thank you so much because you have always consistently been in my comments letting me know how much you're enjoying my fics, and that means so, so much to me. Not only that, but also seeing comments in the replies or reblogs of my snippets, which provides motivation that I sorely need lately.

I've felt a little wobbly about fic posting lately for various reasons that I probably shouldn't get into on a public forum lol, and I don't want for this post to sound like I'm trawling for pity or something. Instead I'll just to give a shout out and huge thanks to the folks who aren't shy about sharing their love with me.

I see you. I notice you, especially if you're there consistently. It means the world.

[luffythinker]

bkdk fic rec of the week!!

it's one that I've had in my marked for later for A YEAR now and today i just suddenly got the urge to read it and dear god it's so good . had me screaming and biting my hand because I wanted to get into the screen and shake them like a doll :D really good, so yeah give it a read

[mintedwitcher]

The cherik brainrot has once again consumed me