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ficthots · 10 months

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A/N: Okay, another fic that has been 95% completed and I finally got around to wrapping up. PR relationship, drunken wedding, enemies to lovers, all the good stuff. As always let me know what you guys think and enjoy!

Warnings: 18+ content only. DNI if under 18. Smut.

Word Count: 8k+

Strengths and weaknesses make us who we are. They are the foundation of our entire beings and personalities. Concocting in a fashion that swirls around us and presents us to the outside world. Special groups can become world class athletes while others thrive in the arts, presenting world altering pieces to the public. Niche groups of writers can put pen to paper in ways never imagined before, the opposite can be said of mathematicians. Some individuals are wonderful public speakers.

Take your childhood best friend Jake for example. The man thrives on the attention when it settles to him. Putting his best self forward when in the presence of other people Yet, he still utterly despises ninety-nine percent of the general population. It’s why you two got along so well.

Also why you and his twin did not.

Your strengths? Well, they lie in solo activities. Anything that needs to be completed alone, you thrived in. Preferring not to work with others unless you absolutely had to. Even then, you weren’t going to be happy doing it. An intellectual, not an artistic bone in your body. Not understanding how he and his brothers can create literal magic in their minds and then go and perform for thousands of people.

Not being a people person was one of the main key characteristics of your personality. You had your small inner circle and that was more than enough for you. Even better that they spent most of their time away from you touring.

If you were together all the time, it would make the time spent together less exciting. Less meaningful. Sure, some people would say it was you being shy and to yourself, but you knew that wasn’t really it.

Okay, maybe just a bit.

Who could blame you though? Being in the public eye like your closest friends sounded like a nightmare. Not being able to keep any information about your private life hidden because it seemed as though someone was always watching. It sounded like hell. It was hell.

That was the life of being a celebrity though. Which is also why you strayed as far away from it as possible. Even when you went out to lunch with Jake when he was in town, it was not a rare occurrence for him to be stopped on the street for a picture or something of the like. Keeping your distance and watching from over his shoulder some few yards away was where you were most comfortable in situations like that.

He would then come back to you, exasperated because of the constant stopping for fans. Jake wasn’t as annoyed with it as he let on to believe, secretly loving when he was approached by adoring fans showering him in praise. It always earned an eye roll from you. Such an attention whore.

Just not to the extent of his twin. Josh craved it. There was hardly ever a time when he wasn’t ecstatic to discuss the intense life he led on a daily basis of being adored by fans and the like. Not to mention the annoying personality trait of needing to be best friends with any individual he was an acquaintance with.

His pursuit of reaching that level with you had been nonstop since high school when you and Jake had hit it off. It was thoroughly exhausting fighting the man as often as you had to, but it was the only way to get him to leave you alone.

He loved it. Finding it hysterical how truly annoyed you were by his sheer presence. Honestly, he wasn’t entirely aware of the actual reason why you didn’t want to be around him. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t lost sleep over it more than once.

Thinking it was just a silly game, not comprehending that you truly wanted nothing to do with him. It was frustrating. Dealing with this since high school and you truly believed he knew the main reason why, but opted to ignore it for the sake of not self reflecting. Jake on the other hand, similar to his familiar counterpart, could always guarantee a chuckle from your interactions.

Never getting into full arguments, but you had been known to raise your voice at him on a few occasions when he refused to leave your personal bubble. It was borderline anxiety inducing. Always having a few Xanax on hand for when you knew you would be having to spend more time than necessary with the boy.

Like on vacation.

Jake had invited you as soon as they had decided where they were going to be taking a weekend trip to. Given you had never been to Las Vegas, you thought it was going to be an absolute blast. Staying at an incredible resort, relaxing by the pool, occasional gambling whilst enjoying the complimentary drinks. I mean, in what world would someone turn that down?

You seriously considered it once you heard that Josh was going to be in attendance. Being trapped on a plane with him, having to do every vacation activity together, getting little to no break from the 24/7 Josh show. Way to ruin a trip.

Given how desperately you did need this getaway, biting your tongue and accepting the fact that the thorn in your side was going to be even closer than normal was what you were just going to have to deal with despite the bile burning the back of your throat at just the thought of it.

Knowing that you would at least have the reprieve of the flight out to Nevada was adding a little bounce to your step. Until he plopped himself down in the seat directly next to yours with a loud sigh echoing in the shell of your ear. Without a moment of hesitation you placed your earphones in, not wanting to give him a chance to engage, or attempt to engage, in conversation with you.

It didn’t last long. He grabbed the left one from your ear much to your dismay, giving a large grin. “Everyone got to pick one activity for the weekend. What’s yours?” Snatching the item from his fingertips and placing it back where it should’ve been the entire time, you sighed.

“Pool morning.” His eyes lit up, going to speak again, but luckily the flight attendants began their aisle explanation of rules and regulations. Smirking at the interruption, you let your head recline back onto the ridiculously uncomfortable headrest, your eyes slipped shut.

You couldn’t be one hundred percent certain of how long your eyes were closed, but it felt like two minutes later when he nudged you to gather your attention on him. A large exhale left your nose, still trying to ignore him. It only worked for so long until he began incessantly tapping your shoulder.

“What? What? What could you possibly want right now, Joshua?” You snapped, staring him dead in the eyes, but he wasn’t phased in the least by your outburst. Holding up a ziplock bag to you, he offered another large smirk. “Trail Mix?”

Josh had set himself a personal goal for the trip. By the time the wheels were up on the way home, you two were going to be fast friends. Deciding on that after having a group dinner together one night and you did everything in your power to avoid him. Whilst he and Jake chatted in his kitchen he racked his brain at the possibilities.

“Can I ask you a question?” Jake hummed in response, eyes stuck to his screen. “Why does buzz not like me?” Jake’s eyes briefly glanced at his spitting image and sighed. “Because you’re you.” Josh let the words simmer for just a brief moment.

Before giving a response, Jake continued. “It’s just a lot for her to handle. You’re on constantly and it drives her up the wall. You know how she is. More reserved than any of us and you're just elevated by ten.” Josh’s brow furrowed, leaning against the counter, shaking his head.

“Yeah no, I don’t think that’s it.” Jake’s hands shot up, deserting his task of trying to get Josh to understand why his best friend did not adore his twin like every other individual under the sun. He was going to get her to be friends, even if it was the last thing he did.

A blinding migraine is what woke you up. That and the feeling of someone's arm wrapped around your bare waist.

Blinking your eyes open slowly, you could feel whoever was next to you, breathing deep and even into the crook of your neck. The disheveled hair was tickling your cheek and jaw, hand twitching every so often as he slept.

When he began to feel you stirring, he himself was slow to get up as well. Having no clue if this person was a complete stranger or if you happened to know them pretty well, had you beyond nervous to turn around and look.

Then it hit you. Patchouli.

Eyes blowing wide open, you turned your head to see him in the same position as you. Wide eyed, shock, and confusion painted across his face. Entirely sure he was mirroring your expression as well.

Neither of you said a word to one another as you laid there. Eventually, you pulled your gaze away from him and chose to stare at the ceiling instead. “Buzz?” He finally broke the uncomfortable silence drenching the room.

Making the wrong decision to shake your head, you groaned, stilling your skull and attempting to stop the room from spinning further than it already was. “No, no. Don’t say a word.” You seethed out between gritted teeth.

He took in a sharp breath, fingers laced soundly over his comforter covered torso. His phone vibrated on the nightstand and when he grabbed it, he only showed you the message from Sam. They were all downstairs waiting on you both to join them for breakfast.

Silently getting dressed, you stepped out of the restroom to see Josh waiting patiently for you. “We do not speak a word of this. To anyone. You understand me?” His lips were pulled between his teeth, but he nodded at you. “Of course, absolutely.”

As you two took your seats at the table, all eyes were glued to you both. Trying to play it off, you pointed to the pitcher of orange juice sitting on the other end of the table by Josh. He handed it off to you, but everyone's attention had yet to leave you both.

Finally giving in, you stared down Jake. “What? What’s wrong?” His chin rested on the backs of his hands, a small knowing smirk gracing his lips, sunglasses blocking his hungover eyes. “Are we going to talk about what happened last night?”

Shrugging, your brow furrowed at his words. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. What happened?” Sam snorted, sipping his coffee before responding. “Josh invited us all to watch,” your head snapped to the boy next to you, shooting daggers at him.

“You fucking pervert,” Josh’s cheeks burned crimson red at the response bit out at him. Danny finally spoke up through a bite of toast. “Like we weren’t going to watch our best friends get married.”

You perked up in his direction, looking at the paired off couples seated around the table. “Oh my god, who got married?” Josh was excited to hear the news himself. Jita’s confused gaze met your enthused one as she spoke.

“Uh, you two?” Eyes falling down to the table, you and Josh gasped at the same time, the memory slamming into you. Your hands covered your mouth as it hung wide open, staring at the man in pure shock. Slowly shaking your head, you stuttered over your words. “No-no, ther-there’s no way.”

Josh’s head fell back, swallowing thickly as his brothers erupted in laughter around the table. “How did they let that happen when we were so drunk?” You whispered out, staring at Jake for answers. He shrugged, “That’s the way most people get married, buzz.”

Letting your head fall into your hands, Josh finally spoke. “It’s fine, we’ll get it annulled and it’ll be like nothing even happened.” Nodding at his words, you shoved his phone into his hands from the resting place it had been on the table. “Now. Do it now.”

Standing from the table, he excused himself as he dialed his lawyer's number. Deciding that it was probably best to check your own phone for any inkling as to what had gone on the previous night, you checked what was buried in your purse. The screen was continuously lighting up with notifications from Instagram, Twitter, any and all social media known to man.

“Oh-oh my god,” you breathed out. Slowly lifting your head and looking at the youngest brother, you calmly asked him a question. “Samuel?” He huffed in response, spreading jam onto his toast. “Did you post the wedding on your Instagram last night?” Dropping his butter knife to the table with a loud clink echoing, everyone immediately took to Instagram.

A chorus of oh no’s, fuck’s, and holy shits were spoken by all of the table. Josh sat back in his seat and turned towards you. “There’s a problem,” you nodded, eyes never leaving Sam. “Oh, trust me, we’re well aware.” He breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Oh great, I don’t have to be the one to tell you.” Sam bit into a piece of muffin, shooting you a wink. “Happy honeymoon!” His attempt to release the tension that hung heavy on the group did not work as he had hoped.

The remainder of the trip you spent as much time away from Josh as possible, absolutely mortified about the circumstances and what had gone on. The only interaction you had with him was right after brunch when he told you his lawyer was working on it and he had made their manager aware of what was going on.

Otherwise, you had kept your distance like Josh was a plague. It hadn’t been too bad afterwards. You spent the rest of the time relaxing by the pool, enjoying great food, and before you knew it you were on the flight back home.

To face reality.

As you walked to your car, his voice echoed through the parking garage to gather your attention. Only stopping because you had to, you turned to face him and saw him jogging towards you. “So, uh, my lawyer wants to meet with us tomorrow morning. Manager will be there, too.”

Nodding in agreement, you didn’t say anything else as you loaded your luggage into your car and then yourself. He didn’t try to speak more, knowing how truly furious you were with him for this.

Knowing that this now being public information was going to make the situation that much worse to deal with. Not like it would have been if this was a normal person, no, you had to deal with the ramifications of being black out drunk and marrying a celebrity.

Awesome.

When you arrived at his home the next morning, you let yourself in, seeing a man dressed in a suit standing in his living room and the man you knew as their manager quietly chit chatting with Josh. He only offered a nervous, sheepish smile to you as you walked in and sat on his sofa.

“Alright, so what do we need to do? Sign some papers?” You spoke out first, grabbing a pen from your purse and looking at everyone expectantly. They were all nervous and you couldn’t figure out why.

The boy's manager cleared his throat and called you by your name, but you shook your head, offering your nickname instead. No one ever used your legal name, it was odd to even hear it spoken out. “Buzz, then. So, unfortunately, this is going to be a bit more,” he paused, trying to find the magic word, "more complicated than we originally assumed.”

Not responding, you only blinked slowly at him. Acknowledging the lawyer to step forward and speak, your head inclined towards him. “The annulment itself is not what complicates matters. It should only be a few months until everything is squared away based on the legal proceedings. What does make things sticky is the social aspect of this.”

His hands waved to you both, but you refused to look at Josh. He could feel your energy humming with pure anger at what was being said to you. His manager spoke up once more. “Yes, so, Sam posting this definitely made it more difficult. In order for you both to get out of this as unscathed as possible, we all discussed the options.”

Your face contorted in confusion. “Excuse me?” Everyone’s eyes settled on you. “I was not consulted for any of this. So when you say we all discussed the options, no we didn’t.” Josh’s wide eyed gaze looked at the two men standing, blankly staring at you.

Jaw setting in annoyance, you spoke again. “I don’t understand how there can be options in the first place. We get it annulled and call it a day. Wipe our hands of it. That’s the option here.” Josh cleared his throat, turning to face you from his seat.

“Buzz, listen. It affects our image. It’s one thing to actually be married, but for us to have gotten drunk in Vegas and then got married, and within seventy-two hours to get it annulled. That’s so bad,” you scoffed at him, but before you could speak they all chimed in.

“It puts a very bad image on Josh. We’re just trying to get damage control done right now. All we’re suggesting is that for the next few months, until the annulment is officially granted, you two continue to put on a facade of sorts to the public that you two are actually together.”

Unbelievable.

“And what about me?” You breathed out, staring at these men like the fucking vultures they were. His manager shrugged with a laugh. “You get to date Josh Kiszka for a few months. This will boost your image too!”

Standing up from your seat, you exploded on them. “Well, I’m not fucking dating Josh Kiszka! This is the problem with you, Josh! It’s all about you and your image. Doesn’t matter who else's life you screw up along the way as long as your image remains clean. Go fuck yourself. Let me know when I need to sign the papers.”

Storming out of his house, when you got to your car, you sat there in silence, trying to catch your breath. A scream left your throat as you continuously hit your steering wheel over and over. Admittedly, you had done some incredibly stupid things in your time, but nothing to this magnitude. No, this was truly life altering stupidity that put you here.

And you did it with the worst human imaginable. You hated yourself for letting this happen. This wasn’t like you. Getting married on a bender in Vegas? Nope. Bets were always going to be on Sam to do something like this. You? Not in a million years. With Josh? Not even in the realm of possibilities.

Yet, here you were.

Sitting in your apartment, you drowned your sorrows in a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, watching Bridgerton as you sobbed about the utter mess you were in. Josh had been blowing up your phone all day, honestly you were surprised he hadn’t shown up at your door.

Ah, spoke too soon, you thought as a rumbling of knuckles on your front door drew your attention. Sniffling, you wiped your face with a stray tissue, praying it wasn’t too dirty, before walking to the door.

“I’m not in the mood right now, Josh.” Sighing as you took in the sight of who was at your door, you were overjoyed to see someone else standing there. “Well, damn good thing I’m not him then, huh?” You didn’t hesitate, throwing yourself into Jake’s embrace, continuously sobbing into his shirt.

His hands rubbed your back with a sad sigh, leading you back in towards your sofa. Sniffling as he grabbed a tissue, he wiped your tear stained cheeks that were positively swollen from the day spent in absolute waterworks. “What’s up, buzz?”

Your hands hit your thighs in exasperation, shrugging as more tears welled up. “They told me I have to date Josh until the annulment is done. I don’t want to do that, Jake.” Chin wobbling, he wiped at your falling tears again, nodding in understandment.

“I’m so stupid! How did this even happen?” He handed you the box of tissues before speaking. “First of all, you’re not stupid. You were drunk beyond belief, we all were. Second, who said you have to date Josh?” Eyes staring at the crumpled fabric in your hands, the sadness that sat on your shoulders sank further in.

“Your manager. The lawyer. Josh. They said it was to protect his image. That a drunk Vegas wedding doesn’t look good as is and then getting it annulled or having the paperwork filed a few days after is even worse. Like, they didn’t even consider me!” Your body shook harder as more tears fell, sobs escaping your throat as you laid on Jake.

A deep sigh rumbled in his chest, hand smoothing your hair down. “You’re gonna hate my response then.” Pulling back from his embrace, you shot daggers at him. “You want me to do it, too? Seriously, Jake? You know why I don’t want to be associated with him. I’m not doing it!”

His hands went up in defeat, but raked through his hair as he watched you move to the kitchen then back to the room in a nervous pace. “Buzz, listen. It’s not just Josh that’s affected. Honestly, if it was I would 100% be on your side and let you do what you wanted to do. I’m worried about you,” your brow furrowed at his words.

“Being associated with someone like us is not easy. You should see the toll it takes on Jita sometimes. It’s rough and brutal,” you cut him off, his words only aiding your reasoning. “Exactly! That’s one of the main reasons,” he didn’t let you continue, speaking over you and grabbing your hands to bring you back to sit with him.

His thumbs brushed over the skin on your wrist. “It’ll be so much worse if the annulment news gets out this quickly after what happened. Buzz, your life will be decimated. It will be horrible. It will affect your daily life, your work, everything. I want you to do this so that way it’s more sound when it does happen. Otherwise,” he shook his head as he trailed off.

With a groan, you flung yourself back onto the couch. You had never hated life more than you did right then. Grabbing your cell phone, you sent Josh a message only sending a Fine, as Jake patted your leg. “Good girl.” You kicked him in response.

A carefully drawn plan was created by everyone. Keeping public appearances at a minimum, their manager stated that only a few were necessary in the amount of time needed for it to be legally done. However, what was necessary was social media posts.

Since your…wedding, had been so publicly broadcasted, making an appearance on his social media whether by posts or stories was absolutely necessary according to them. The goal was to keep actual posts minimal, but stories more often. Which also meant that you and Josh were going to have to be spending more time together than you ever had before.

You were dreading it to put it lightly. In fact, you only wanted to crawl under your bed and hide for the rest of eternity. All you could think about was why this had to happen with him. Why not Danny? You loved Danny! Sweetest human being known to man.

Instead, you were legally bound to the person you despise most. Why must the universe laugh in your face like this? You believed you were a fairly decent person, so why you? It was that question that was on an ever repeat in your mind as you sat at a restaurant you couldn’t even afford to look through the window at.

The two of you were sitting in dreadfully uncomfortable silence. A fake engagement ring sitting on your left hand, a band on his. Waiter already having come and taken both of your orders, you didn’t know what else to do at the moment. Nibbling on a skinny breadstick, your eyes scanned the scenery around you.

People that would never give you the time of day if they were to spot you on the street filled the tables around you both. Occasional glances from the younger crowd falling over you two made you shift in your seat.

Taking notice of wandering eyes himself, he reached his hand out across the linen covered table, grabbing your hand with his. Speaking through a smile, your look of disgust made him laugh. “Can you at least try and make it look like we’re having fun? We’re married and people are looking, buzz.”

Forcing a grin onto your face, you squeezed his fingers, a hiss escaping from his teeth as he pulled his hand back. “You’re right, I am having fun!” Rolling his eyes, he expelled air from his ballooned cheeks.

“So what do you do for work, again?” He asked. You stared him down, opinion of him sinking further. “I’m an archivist. Do you know what that is?” Your smug tone had his face falling, mocking you. “Yes, I know what an archivist is. Asshole,” he mumbled, playing with the straw in his drink.

Sighing, he leaned back in his seat, eyeing you from across the table. “What’s your deal with me? Why don’t you like me? Everyone likes me. I’m Josh!” Elbows landing on the table with a clatter of plates and glasses, you began listing the reasons on your fingers.

“You’re selfish, snobby, too energetic, think you’re better than everyone else, an attention whore,” he cut you off, arms crossing over his chest. “Alright, alright, alright. I get it. But I’ll have you know I’m not any of those things.”

Your eyebrows shot up your face. “Really?” He nodded, a smirk tugging at his full lips. “Of course! There’s so much more to me.” Snorting, you pointed at the table. “If you’re not a snob or selfish then why would you bring me here? I don’t even like fish! I’m allergic to shellfish. I literally ordered the only thing that didn’t contain any fish. A fucking salad, Josh. I don’t like salad.”

Continuing with your rant, he listened to every word you said. “Not to mention that a place like this,” you waved your hands around, “is the last place I would ever want to come to. I’m more of a Chili’s girl,” his nose scrunched up in disgust. “You see! This isn’t going to work, Josh.” Catching your head in your hand, he tried to ease your spiraling mind.

“Okay, okay. I promise that next time we will go somewhere you want. I just figured that this was a good spot to get noticed and that is working. Three different people have taken pictures which I am almost 100% certain are already circling Twitter.” Your face showed your confusion because you hadn’t noticed that at all.

“I promise, next time, we will go somewhere or do something you want. Scouts honor,” he held his hand up in the salute, earning a tired laugh from you. “Ah, see! We’re already making progress. You laughed at my joke.”

Smile falling, the waiter appeared with your food right then. “Actually, I was laughing at you. Not at your joke.” He shrugged, digging into the salmon on his plate. “Still counts.”

Awkward small talk consumed the remainder of the evening. Walking to your own car that had been parked a few blocks away from the restaurant, Josh stood behind you, ensuring you got to your car safely.

Not offering a parting word, you got in your car, but Josh tapped on your window, a smile on his lips. Rolling it down, but only a crack, you tilted your head towards it. “What?” He placed a sloppy kiss on the glass, much to your dismay, but laughed right after.

“I had a great time with you, buzz. Make sure you’re at my home this weekend to make an appearance in a social media story!” He called out as you reversed out of your spot, driving off with your middle finger extended in his direction.

You weren’t a firm believer in the idea about people changing. People are the way they are, especially once in adulthood. The way someone acts by the time they’re in their early twenties, in your experience anyways, was how the person was meant to be. Which is why you were entirely confused about why Josh was growing on you.

After spending more than a few evenings at his home to appear in his stories or Instagram posts, even making it into a TikTok, you were growing more comfortable around him. Even opting to hang out without the need for posting purposes. You hadn’t even given a second thought to why you were okay with it.

It honestly started after your suggested publicity date. After having a night out at a fancy dinner, you decided to do something a tad more laid back for your date choice. However, when you realized that they wanted you to be seen out in public together, it dawned on you what to do.

The boys were still on tour, so like any normal “girlfriend” or “wife”, you flew out to spend some real good quality time with your partner. He even went the extra mile to pick you up from the airport. Your decision to keep him in the dark of what your planned outing entailed was driving him insane.

It is also why he was standing in the happiest place on earth with the largest scowl on his face you had ever seen. With your Minnie Mouse ears adorned, Mickey Mouse t-shirt, and Nuimo sticking out of your cross body bag, you were beaming from ear to ear. Walking up to Josh, you stood directly in front of him, placing a pair of ears on the frowning boy.

“No, no. Absolutely not.” Giggles fell from your parted lips as he took them off with a loud sigh. “Okay, Mr. Grumpy, what would you like to do first? Space Mountain or Autopia? I think we should do Autopia because it’s a car perfect for your frame and one you might actually be able to reach the pedals in.”

He mocked a fake laugh, walking in the direction of Space Mountain. Josh could try all he wanted to feign irritation with where you two had landed for your date, but by mid-afternoon, he was smiling more often than not.

Even indulging in a churro although it was against his dietary restrictions. You two were sitting in New Orleans Square, splitting a box of popcorn, giving your feet a rest after the incredibly long day, but your mood and spirits had never been so high around him before.

Laughter and smiles had been a regular throughout the course of the day, nearly riding every ride you could. Josh was grinning like a child after having indulged himself all day. “I can’t believe you actually bought the picture from Splash Mountain. It’s so dumb!” You spoke through laughs.

Whipping the picture out, you were cowering over, blocking yourself from the water, face contorted in fear while Josh had both hands up, the biggest smile you’d ever seen as he yelled out in excitement. As he put more popcorn in his mouth, his eyes narrowed at you.

“Why’d you pick here?” Smirking, you sipped from your novelty alien sipper cup. “For starters, I knew you’d be pissed when we walked in.” He shrugged in agreement, a light tint falling on his cheeks. “But I also knew that you would warm up after a few rides and snacks. Almost everyone does. And I picked somewhere where I knew we would be spotted.”

Sliding your phone across the tabletop, a photo of you and Josh on the teacups was circling the Twittersphere. “I think I’m starting to get the celebrity appearance thing.” Taking a bite of your salty treat, Josh eyed you in surprise.

“Well, look at you.” His gaze settles on you for just a beat too long, causing you to fidget in your seat. Looking back at your phone to get away from the uncomfortable feeling worming its way in your stomach, you spoke out. “C’mon, we have a lighting lane for Indiana Jones.”

Josh stared after you as you stood and began walking in the direction of the ride. His plan was working.

It was pissing you off to no end. You didn’t want to like Josh or be friends with him. Not since his fuck up in high school that was the root cause of all of this. So why was he growing on you?

Refusing to fall for the sweet Josh act, which you were beginning to doubt was an act at all, after your Disney day, you decided to keep contact and visits extremely limited. Only showing up at his home to appear in a quick story and then immediately leaving. Josh wasn’t a fan of this sudden change either.

Becoming downtrodden each time you rushed to leave his home after making brief appearances. Keeping conversations to a minimum. When you received a text from Josh saying one of your final dates was ready to take place, you were dreading spending an evening with him. Not excited about the confusing feelings that were happening.

Yet, here you were at a concert for the boys. Given you were as good of friends with Jake as you were, most people figured that you were constantly at concerts. Not really. Actually, you had only really seen them perform a handful of times. Now that you and Josh were married?

Of course the perfect opportunity for a sighting was going to be at a concert, supporting your fake spouse. Okay, not entirely fake because the marriage itself was technically real, but whatever. Standing off to the side of the stage, you smiled warmly at them putting their best efforts into their show.

It was hard not to notice the wandering eyes of fans falling to you and realization dawning on the crowd who you really were. Animosity towards you hadn’t been too much to deal with. Sure, there were people who truly didn’t comprehend how you and Josh were together. There had never been a mention of you before, Jake working overtime to ensure that through your friendship, and now all of a sudden this random woman is married to Josh?

Bonkers.

As their encore wrapped up, once Jake stepped off stage, you jumped in excitement, offering your happy praises of how well the show had gone tonight. Walking off with Jake, you halted as their manager’s wide eyes observed you, subtly nodding his head in the direction of who you should have been walking with.

Jake offered you a knowing smile, continuing towards his dressing room as you waited for Josh. As his curly hair bounced towards you, you offered a large smile. He knew what he was doing as an arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you towards him and connecting your lips.

You froze, not expecting him to do something like that. As he retreated, his arm never left you, a smile still adorned as he turned you around and walked you towards his own room. Skin positively on fire from the encounter, your stomach was a chaotic mess of nerves.

Sitting in the general waiting area for Josh to finish getting ready to head to the hotel, you were literally sitting on the edge of your seat. You weren’t stupid, you knew why Josh kissed you right in the viewline of hundreds of fans. So, why was your mind running about the passion behind it? And why did you like it?

His curly due popped out of his door, a big grin greeting you as his wet hair dripped down his temples. “Ready to go?” Nodding with no verbal response, his hand linked with yours, escorting you down the tunnel. Your eyes were glued to the faux wedding rings adorning your hands.

Some fans waved you off in the private cars that headed in the direction of the hotel. Not muttering a word, Josh could sense the vibe was just ever so slightly different than normal. He knew you weren’t upset, but you weren’t exactly dripping with excitement either. Nervous?

It remained silent in the elevator ride up to the floor of your rooms. When he walked to his door, he finally made eye contact with you for the first time all evening. “Do you want to come inside and talk for a bit?”

Your wavering voice would give away your endless thoughts, so you just bob your head in agreement, stepping into the suite before him. Sitting on the overly large sofa for one person, Josh immediately knew something was different when you didn’t give a snide remark about that.

Finally sitting next to you, he handed you a drink from the bar. “Alright, what the hell is wrong with you? This is the longest you’ve ever been silent around me.” Sighing, you battled how to word this, but Josh beat you to it. “Was it the kiss? I’m sorry I should’ve asked you beforehand, but so many people were around I thought it was what I should do.”

Shaking your head, you felt heat creep up your neck. “No, no it’s fine. I agree, it was what should have been done. It’s just,” trailing off, his eyebrows furrowed. “It’s just what?” Deciding against telling him how you truly felt about it, you changed conversation tracks.

“Just that it was a lot of fun seeing you guys perform. Makes me realize who I’m actually married to.” He bought it. Immediately smiling brightly at your words, he relaxed into the stiff couch. “I can’t get over that. We’re married.” You both chuckled, eyes going to the wedding rings you wore.

“Do you remember the night at all?” He questioned, seeing if you had any recollection of how it came to be. Eyes going to the ceiling, you laughed as you tried to replay the fuzzy night. “I remember laughing. A lot. It was at one of those twenty-four hour chapels on the Strip. Jake was your best man, Jita was my maid of honor. Jake signed as our witness. Sam recorded the whole thing on Instagram.”

You two were erupting in laughter at the sheer stupidity of the situation. “You wanted to consummate the marriage right there in the chapel on the pew.” Josh laughed into his glass. Your jaw opened in shock, refuting the claim. “I did not!” Josh’s eyebrows raised as he recalled it. “Oh yes you did.”

Sitting there and staring into his eyes as his laughter died down, you gave a shrug. “Okay. So, what if I did? Would you have taken me right there?” He didn’t hesitate, not an inkling of nerves as his response came quickly.

“I would’ve taken you right there if we had been alone.” Swallowing thickly, in the blink of an eye Josh had ended up on top of you. Teeth hitting in a messy, hurried encounter. His tongue trying to explore every inch he could.

It moved so quickly you weren’t sure how you had ended up entirely nude in his bedroom. On your knees and hands, Josh pounding into you from behind. Hitting so deep inside of you that you were certain you were going to split in two.

Your moans were borderline murderous screams. Body being moved forward which each meet of his hips to your ass. The sounds ridiculously lude as your soaked bodies continued to join over and over.

As his cum painted your back and ass, you felt like you had run a marathon. His fingers still lightly tracing circles over your throbbing clit, instead of stopping all at once, easing you out of the pleasure that wracked your body.

Limbs turning to immediate jelly, you weren’t sure how you ended up in the shower together, going for another round. Fairly certain your body would never be able to recover again. Yet here you were, accepting him again with pleads. Years of pent up aggression with one another colliding.

Heavenly.

Well, that complicated it a bit more. What the hell was the matter with you? It was Josh for god’s sake! All you needed to do was show up for the concert, hang out with him for a few minutes, then go to your own room, and fly home the next afternoon. You couldn’t even do that right.

Because you were currently entangled in bedsheets with the boy, limbs intertwined, and you didn’t want to move. He was just so warm and soft, comfortable beyond belief. The gentle rise and fall of his chest nearly eases you back to sleep.

It was only a couple minutes later when he stirred awake, humming in content at you still being there. Arms tightening their grip on you. His deep, husky morning voice broke the gentle air, erupting your skin in goosebumps. “Morning,” his lips landed on the crown of your bedhead, trailing down to your cheek, then neck.

Easy was one way to describe it. The head of his cock breaching your entrance slowly and deeply. Lifting your leg as you remained on your side, Josh right behind you. His fingers danced on your clit, and in no time at all, you two fell apart.

Wanting to return back to the safe slumber of your life, he refused. As your eyes slid shut, they shot back open as his tongue traced your leaking hole. It was going to be a long morning. Which you didn’t really mind.

Letting Josh take you to brunch probably wasn’t the best move, but you couldn’t bring it in yourself to come up with a phony excuse as to why you couldn’t. You wanted to spend some time with him, it wasn’t a crime or anything. If anything, it only strengthened the PR relationship you were putting up!

Oh, shut up.

Even when you got home, you found yourself looking forward to hearing from Josh. He didn’t understand what the change had been or when it had actually happened, but he wasn’t complaining. If anything, he was celebrating it. You were no longer doing everything in your power to avoid him, but instead were actually reaching out to see when you could see him again.

This was the literal best case scenario for him. His yearning for you over the years had only grown stronger through all of this and what had been a silly crush on his brother's best friend was blossoming into an actual romance.

Still, you were hiding your reasoning for seeing him behind the PR aspect of this arrangement, but the more you presented it and accepted when he did, the more hopeful he was becoming. It might be silly wishes, but after having harbored these feelings for you for as long as he had been, getting this close was playing with fire.

Did anyone have any idea about this infatuation? Not in the slightest. Josh knew he had done a wonderful job of keeping it at bay. Perhaps it came off as an elementary level crush where he teased you relentlessly, but he seriously had little to no game and that was how he knew to get your attention.

Some fine tuning was most definitely needed, he would admit that.

Did the teasing that Josh relentlessly tormented you with sear into your memory and want you to second guess what you were doing? Absolutely. In fact, one night in particular would always stick out to you. A junior year pool party where Josh announced to the entire party during a truth or dare session that you had never slept with a boy let alone kissed a boy, mortified you.

You could remember the shocked faces of your friends who had all recently gone on sexual journeys that school year and were no longer at your clumsy virgin level anymore. Only having told Jake in confidence, you were horrified to discover that Josh had obtained that information and that he thought it would gain some laughter and bump him up in popularity to divulge it.

He had regretted it immediately after it left his mouth. Your vision of him forever tainted. Of course, you would never admit that was the line he had crossed, instead picking other things about him that annoyed you. Josh knew the real reason.

So, where did that leave you both? Sitting in Josh’s living room about to sign your annulment paperwork after four months of fake dating. He had called you that afternoon at work and said his lawyer had dropped them off and all that was needed was a signature from you both.

Holding the pen to paper you signed your name, handing it over to Josh and seeing him do the same. Letting out a shaky laugh with a puff of air, you eyed him. “Okay, well that nightmare is now over.” He chuckled with you, hands rubbing nervously over the tops of his thighs.

“I am sorry about all of this.” You finally broke the tension by saying. Josh knew what you meant. This had been your idea. The entire thing. Having made a bet with Jake that if you could win on a $200 bet in one go at a blackjack table, he owed you $5,000. Being as inebriated as he was, he hastily agreed. Yet, when he asked what would happen if you lost it left you fumbling for an answer. Something worth at least that monetary value, you reached your decision quickly.

“I’ll marry Josh tonight.” Everyone hooted and hollered, watching you place your bet and of course, losing on the spot. Josh immediately invited everyone to come to the chapel with you both, saying he couldn’t imagine marrying you without his family there. One Instagram livestream and twenty some odd stories later, you two were hitched.

He shrugged with a chuckle thinking back to it. “It’s a funny story we will always look back on and laugh about.” Agreeing with him and not sure what your next move was, you rose from his sofa, heading toward the front door when your name echoed in the large room.

Turning, you saw Josh cross to get to you. Colliding together, your purse fell to the floor, wrapping your arms around his neck as he crushed you to him. “Don’t go.” He spoke out. You nodded eagerly, bringing him back to you.

“I like you. A lot.” He spoke out in between kisses. Only a muffled mhm and me too escaped your throat before Josh led you to his room.

It was like answering a craving that your body was shaking to get its fill on. Like a drug you had never experienced before. Needing him in you more than the air you breathed. Filling the void that only Josh could fill.

Only Josh. That was all your mind could think of. Could handle. Even as he eyed you, laying nude in his sheets, he riddled every thought.

“Can I take you out?” You laughed, seeing him eyeing you from above you. “I’m serious! I know we kind of did this backwards, but I really do like you. I want to take you out. For real.” Narrowing your eyes at him, you grabbed his chin in your fingertips. “Promise you won’t marry me this time?” He nodded, looking at you like you were crazy.

“Absolutely. The plan is to knock you up this time.”

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ficthots · 1 year

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Secret Ingredient

A/N: Surprise! Two new writings in one week? (don’t expect this of me more lol). I missed Peter so here’s a Peter piece. Enemies to lovers, living situation inspired by New Girl (literally one of the best shows ever), only the best of the best. As always let me know what you guys think and enjoy!

Warnings: SMUT. DNI if you are under 18. 18+ only

Word Count: 11.6k+

Being in your twenties is such a surreal time in life. There are people who are getting engaged and married. Others are having children. Some work part-time jobs while going to school. The best part is that for the first time ever there is no set in stone plan to follow. You do what you think is right and hope for the best.

That’s why you didn’t second guess your living situation. Honestly, you loved it. Sure, the loft was cramped and at times could be hell on earth, but mostly it was home. Your safe space.

The loft had four of you in it. You, Noah, Logan, and Peter. Your roommates. The people you spent the most time with. Who saw you at your best and worst. They were who you ate dinner with almost every night, fought over bathroom schedules with, and who you complained to about the shitty coworkers you had to deal with.

Logan was who you had known the longest. You two had met in college. Your first encounter with him was finding him sitting naked on your roommates bed, screaming as you walked in instead of her. He claimed that she had said she was going to be back at the dorm within a few minutes, but had yet to return. It was supposed to be a sexy surprise, but turned into a traumatizing experience for the both of you.

When they stopped seeing each other, you two kept in touch. Late night study sessions, lunch in the student union, and more parties than you cared to admit you had attended were all filled with Logan by your side. He moved away the last year of school to play AAA baseball, but an injury halted that track and sent him home, effectively ending his playing career.

He had his own friend group that he hung around, the other boys you lived with, but you didn’t know that much about them at the time, and you had Lily.

You and Lily had grown up with each other and spent more time together than apart. Were you two complete opposites? Absolutely. Lily was a professional model who had moved to New York way before you to pursue her passion and it had paid off. She lived with other models in a tiny apartment, but she loved it and you loved it for her. However, when you became homeless because of your ex you knew that moving in with her wasn’t an option.

Steven was your ex who you had lived with for nearly three years. He cheated on you, quite literally leaving you on the curb and you turned to Logan. The fourth bedroom in his apartment had just recently opened and they hadn’t found another renter yet. You entered their lives and had been there ever since.

You grew closer with Logan when you moved in and became quick friends with Noah. He was the most “adult” out of all of you. He had a great job that made him decent money, had a new car, and was overall doing fairly well for himself. Apart from the living with three other people thing.

The first night you all shared dinner together, the week after you had moved in, you all joked around the table, trying to get to know them all better, Lily joining as she had been helping you move. “So, Noah, do you have a boyfriend?” Logan choked on his beer at the question, doubling over in laughter and collapsing from his chair as Noah’s large eyes widened even further at you.

“Wha-what? You, you think I’m gay? Why would you think I’m gay?” He stuttered over his words as Logan wiped the tears from his eyes, Peter snickering behind his beer bottle as embarrassment coursed through you.

“Jesus, I am so sorry. You’re just so put together, you know? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a straight man's bedroom look as clean and as planned out as yours. Plus, you wear a lot of cardigans. You have more bathroom products than the rest of us put together. It just seemed to fit,” you shrugged as Logan climbed back into his chair and Noah scoffed at you.

He stabbed his chicken with his fork and laughed as he spoke. “I appreciate you noticing all of those things, but just because I am more put together than all of you hooligans combined does not mean I am a homosexual,” you shot a look to Logan, silently seeing if he agreed with you. He nodded his head in response, letting you know that he in fact thought the same when he first met him.

Lily spoke up in your defense. “I read the listing for the apartment on Craig’s List and I thought it was for an apartment with all girls. You wrote it, right, Noah?” His utensils fell to the plate in a clatter as he folded his hands on the table. “What made you think that? Was it the use of actual educated vocabulary?” She shrugged as he continued on.

“Also, have you not seen the amount of women that come in and out of my room?” You shook your head, trying not to laugh as he dove in to his graphic tales of sexual encounters with said women. Peter practically ignored the rest of the conversation, being the first to leave the table that night as everyone shared funny stories.

Noah’s room, you would come to learn, was an ever revolving door. When you went to the bar that Logan worked at you saw his demeanor with them and most of the time he didn’t even use a real name.

The first time you heard his alter ego's name, Richard Hurtz, you actually cringed. The boys thought it was hysterical and clever, Peter throwing in a comment about you not understanding it, but you got it. You flat out told them, Dick Hurtz, was just not funny. You got called stupid in return.

That was Peter. Oh, Peter. You didn’t know what his deal was, but when you two were introduced at your apartment interview, he was immediately put off by you. You had tried every trick in the book to get him to talk to you, but no matter what you did it was a wasted effort.

His room was directly across from yours, meaning that encountering each other was going to happen quite a bit and you wanted to be cordial. Hell, even friends. One night you found yourself alone in the apartment with him and you tried getting him to eat dinner with you, but he turned you down, locking himself in his room instead.

You begged Lily for advice on the phone, practically in tears because you just didn’t understand why he didn’t like you. She had told you that he was just an asshole, but you didn’t believe that.

The look he had given you when you had met was one you hadn’t seen directed at you before. You thought you were a fairly friendly person. It was rare to have someone not like you and it made you uneasy when someone didn’t. Especially when that person was who you were going to be living with.

Over time he spoke to you a bit more and kept the looks to himself, but the snide and snarky comments did not stop. You assumed it was because Lily had cornered him in the bar one night and threatened him to be nice to you or she’d kill him. Eventually you ended up confronting him about his utter disdain for you and he didn’t seem taken aback by the question at all.

“Have I done something to offend you?” He eyed you as you stared at him from the dining room table, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. “I can tell that I have done something to upset you and keep you from talking to me and whatever I did I am truly sorry. I’m not used to people not liking me and honestly it makes me want to throw up every time I’m around you because I want to be friends with you,” you rambled as he watched you, but he finally cut you off.

“I didn’t want you to move in. I didn’t want a girl in the apartment. I liked the way it was before you moved in,” you chewed on your lip as he spoke, but broke into a big grin at the end. “Hey, there’s no reason for you to have to act any differently around me! Just treat me like one of the guys,” you awkwardly tried to lean back in the chair, tucking one hand into your pants and sipping the beer that had been sitting out on the table for god knows how long. You gagged, making a face as the liquid went down your throat.

“Good lord, how old is that?” You just wanted him to like you. He shook his head, sighing as he walked out of the room and you groaned, letting your head rest against the table top. You really did try everything you could, even reading one of his old college textbooks from his room to try and understand what he was talking about when he spoke about work.

He worked at Oscorpe and according to Noah and Logan, was a borderline genius. You figured that if you attempted to build a relationship with him in regards to his interests he would love it!

It didn’t impress him. Instead only earning a narrowed eye stare and silence in return as you tried to make small talk about an “article” you had read earlier that week from the Times. Really, all you did was a quick google search on science stories and memorized the title.

It was finally your chance as you two were alone in the loft, he was parked on the couch watching tv and you approached quietly, not wanting to frighten him off. You sat in silence for a bit before you shakily spoke up, clearing your throat to signal that you were going to speak. “Did you see that article about how some scientists restored organ function to pigs after they died?”

You flipped through a magazine, as nonchalantly as possible as he sat at the other end of the sofa, watching the news about Spider-Man. His head turned towards you and gave you that look and offered no response as you tried to drag any conversation with him out. You didn’t look up from the magazine in your hands as you spoke again, “Pretty crazy, huh?”

He sighed, turning the volume up on the tv as you abandoned that method. You decided to talk to him about Spider-Man. Everyone knows about Spider-Man and you even had a personal encounter with him. “He saved me once,” you mentioned as you watched the news. His jaw set tightly as you said that. Peter offered no suggestion to continue with the story, but you did anyway.

“Yeah, he saved me from a burning building. The dorm I lived in. Some idiot was cooking with a hotplate and it caught fire. I was asleep with my headphones on and didn’t hear the smoke detectors. He got me out of the building. He was a really cool guy and offered me some tips on safety like not sleeping with noise cancelling headphones on,” you chuckled at the memory, feeling so stupid about the circumstances.

Peter’s gaze bore into you as you spoke and for a split second you swore you saw his lip quirk a tiny bit at your tale. “I always like seeing him in the news. Means he’s still helping people. Hopefully, I will not need his assistance again,” you met his eyes and he looked away, attention going back to the tv.

“Knowing you, you probably will.” You wanted to scream and jump as you got him to actually respond to you. No matter how cool you tried to play it, the smile that spread over your face couldn’t be hidden.

It was rare to have a private moment at home because someone was always there. Always. That’s why as you ended the awkward first date you had been on with some guy a girl at work had set you up with, you were actually grateful that they were home.

He was the most bland person you had ever spoken with before. You couldn’t even remember his name, it had been that bad. He spoke like a robot and his most enthralling story of the night had been about how at work last week he made a rubber band ball. He wasn’t the type you would normally go for, but hey a free meal is a free meal. Now you regretted it as you approached your door, positively drained from the evening.

The young man quickly dropped you off and made his departure as you walked in the front door, throwing your purse on the entryway table. The guys all sat on the sofa, watching football as you walked towards them, taking your corner spot with a loud sigh.

“Date didn’t go well?” You took the beer offered to you from Logan’s outstretched hand. “Nope. I watched ice melt to keep myself entertained. Food was shit too,” you reached forward and grabbed the bag of chips from the coffee table. You looked around to see where the beer had come from and Logan pointed to the floor.

“Cooler. Now we don’t have to get up,” you nodded your head and leaned back against the couch and chuckled. “Nice,” you stuffed a handful of chips into your mouth as Noah spoke up.

He shrugged as he scrolled on his phone. “You need to stop dating and just do what I do. Makes it so much easier,” you contemplated his words and nudged him with your foot. “I haven’t had sex in three months. You think you could help me find someone to hook up with?”

The guys all collectively groaned at your announcement, but he nodded his head. “You need a casual hook-up. Logan works tomorrow night at the bar. When you’re off work, meet us there and I’ll help you,” Logan’s attention never left the TV as a team scored, he cheered as he checked the sheets of paper in front of him, marking things down.

Logan ruffled your hair and you slapped his hand away as Peter stood from the couch. “I can’t wait to see this. You have the worst personality for casual flings,” he stretched as he walked to his room. His shirt slowly rode up and offered a quick glance at his abs, arms flexing below the fabric of his sweater.

How the hell was he so built? He works in a lab and you had never seen him workout before. You snapped out of your thoughts when Logan and Noah shouted again, jumping up from the couch as one team stole the ball from their competitor. “That wasn’t very nice,” you said as you sipped your beer and Noah laughed, shaking his head at you.

“I needed that for my fantasy team,” Logan murmured as he opened his phone.

You sat at the bar, sipping on a Long Island Iced Tea as Logan and Noah scouted the room for you. Lily sat beside you, acting as your hype girl for the night. Your eyes widened at the incredibly attractive man that entered the building. “What about tall, dark, and handsome over there? Mama needs a piece of that,” a chorus of ew’s echoed from the boys as Logan shook his head.

Lily nodded hers and smiled. “Hell yes. He would be perfect,” Logan gave an overexaggerated shutter. “Don’t talk like that. It’s so gross,” you straightened your dress hem as you stood up, ignoring his words.

You wore one of your favorites tonight and you thought you looked pretty good. “Okay, I’m going. I can totally do this,” you were trying to hype yourself up as Peter rolled his eyes at you. Lily pinched his arm and he leaned away from her, hissing in pain, rubbing the spot.

“Just don’t be yourself and you should be fine,” you shot him a mean glance, but took his words more literally than he probably meant. Don’t be yourself and you should be fine. Don’t be yourself.

As you sauntered over to the other end of the bar the man smiled. You took the seat next to him, trying to be alluring and mysterious, but saw Noah shake his head and mouth, “Change your face!” Lily chewed on her lip, whispering with them as they all watched.

You quickly shook whatever look off that he had pointed out and the man spoke up. “Can I get you something to drink, gorgeous?” You fluttered your eyelashes at his question. “Sure, thank you. I’ll take a vodka cran. Light cran,” you thought of the girliest drink you could and that was what came to mind first. You decided to roll with your plan.

Don’t be yourself. “I’m Jonathan. What’s your name, beautiful?” You shook his outstretched hand gently. You needed this. Something different. No strings attached.

His smirk grew as you offered a fake name, sipping the drink that Logan had placed in front of you. You two chatted for a while quickly realizing you two had nothing in common. This was good! It was exactly what you needed.

He had leaned into you more as you two continued chatting, hand landing on your knee as he whispered to you. “Wanna get out of here? We can go back to my place?” You bit your lip, nodding as you stood with him, letting him lead you out of the bar.

You shot a glance over your shoulder and saw the group shoot you a thumbs up, cheering you on. Peter sat with a grimace on his face that you ignored. Nothing new with him.

When you got to Jonathan’s place things escalated quickly. You two were in a messy kiss that you were not enjoying as he took your bottom lip between his teeth.

“Um, ow. Sorry, can you not do that?” You laughed, trying to keep it light as he nodded, leading you to his room. Most of your clothing was forgotten as he started to attempt to rub you. That should’ve been your warning sign, but you kept it going, silently hoping it would get better.

It didn’t. The rest of the experience was a horrible let down. He obviously did not know about female anatomy because he never found what he was looking for and given you didn’t know this man you didn’t offer assistance. His dirty talk mostly consisted of asking if you felt good.

When it was finished you climbed off of his lap and sat on the bed next to him. A large smile took over his face as you wrapped yourself in the top sheet from his bed. “Wow. That was amazing,” he kissed your cheek as you only nodded your head in response.

Within minutes he was snoring. You quickly gathered your clothes and got dressed, making your way back to the apartment. When you got home you sighed into the quiet space and went straight to your room.

You fought within yourself, feeling incredibly dirty and just wanting to wash off the night from you, but so frustrated with how the evening's events played out that climbing straight into bed sounded like heaven. Everyone's doors were shut, no lights peering from underneath as you made your way to the shared bathroom.

You felt grimy and began scrubbing yourself, using the removable showerhead to get your back. You didn’t mean for it to happen, but when you felt the water pulse against you an involuntary moan slipped out. It was well past one in the morning. Who would know?

You let the water push against your throbbing clit, breaths going shallow and feeling yourself warm up. The pleasure was building now in your belly, but you were teetering on the edge, not able to fully fall over it. Your mind began to wander and you thought back to the events of the other night.

Seeing his shirt expose his toned and ripped torso, the hidden muscles on his arms flex as he stretched. His head rolling to the side showcasing his incredible jaw line that had light stubble growing on it that you imagined scratching your inner thighs. His large hands wander over your body, kneading at your flesh.

As you were about to finish, the coil in you about to snap, you heard the bathroom door shut. Your eyes snapped open, your orgasm long forgotten as you mustered up the courage to poke your head out of the curtain. No one was in there, thank god, but you weren’t sure how loud you had been.

You felt shameful that you had let your mind think to one of your roommates in order to cum. What the hell was wrong with you?

You wrapped up your shower and wandered back to your room when you saw it. The light streamed out from underneath Peter’s door, but turned off as you walked by. Your face burned at the idea that he had heard you.

There was no possibility he had known you were thinking of him, but it felt horrible knowing you had used your mind to get off on the thought of him.

You got to your room and softly shut the door. Maybe he didn’t hear anything. Maybe he opened the door, heard the shower was on, and left. The chance of that being true was little, but you clung to that thought. It was what helped you fall asleep, pissed that you had been robbed of an orgasm twice that night.

The next morning you gave yourself a pep talk to go into the kitchen, ready to face whatever was waiting for you. A breath of relief escaped you as you discovered the living quarters empty.

As you poured yourself a bowl of cereal, reveling in the rare silence that hardly ever came across the apartment, you heard feet shuffling. Bringing the spoon to your mouth, you tried not to let any attention fall to the boy who had entered the room.

He made no effort to chat so there was a chance that you had been worrying for nothing. There was a chance it wasn’t even him who came to the bathroom last night. Peter probably didn’t hear anything.

The sound of your spoon hitting the bowl and his movements around the kitchen as he made a smoothie echoed off the walls, filling the uncomfortable silence that settled over you two whenever you seemed to find yourselves alone together.

A glass was placed in front of you, a light pink liquid filling it half full. “I made too much,” your eyes widened in surprise as he walked out of the room, sipping his own.

“Thank you!” You called out after him, but he stopped and turned on his heel. “By the way, if you’re going to masturbate in shared spaces, keep it down so you don’t disturb the entire loft,” your jaw fell slack at his words, speechless as he turned and continued his walk to his room, a laugh falling from him as he did.

The group all cackled as you sat at the bar, sharing the story of your failed one night stand from the previous week. “He fell asleep how fast?” Your face burned at Noah’s question, playing with the napkin that sat under your drink. “Within like five minutes of completion,” Logan gagged at your response.

“God, don’t call it that. You’re gonna ruin sex for me. It’s like hearing my grandmother talk about it,” an exasperated sigh left you, lightly bouncing in your seat. “Guys, please help me! I just want good, no strings attached sex,” Peter snorted into his beer, leaving his spot at the bar and saying goodnight to everyone as his phone went off.

Was that a news alert? What normal guy had news alerts on his phone? Lily snapped you out of your thoughts, asking you questions about what else you were looking for instead.

Noah scouted the room and pointed at a man by the jukebox. “He’ll do. Go,” before you could protest, he shoved you off the stool.

The night ended worse than the week before. He finished within three minutes and you left as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

You prayed the apartment would be quiet with everyone asleep as you shut the door behind you. The TV’s noise indicated that your prayers had been left unanswered. Even worse, it was Peter on the couch occupying the space.

He eyed you as he sipped his beer. “You’re home early.” It was meant more as an out loud observation rather than a segway for conversation, but this was your chance and the most he had ever offered you.

“In the last week I’ve had two awful sexual encounters. I’m giving up,” you sat on the opposite end of the couch, following your patterns from the last time this happened, not wanting to spook him. You just wanted this to go on a bit longer.

He only shrugged as he nursed the beer, but you continued talking, nerves wracking you as you spoke to him. “I guess sex just isn’t great for girls. Like when I was with Steven, I mean he loved it, but I never climaxed. Every hook-up since has just been a let down,” Peter’s eyes widened at you.

“You’ve never finished with a guy before?” You shook your head as his eyes nearly bugged out at you. “No. I know I can finish cause I mean I can do it myself,” your cheeks burned as you rambled on, feeling awkward talking about this, especially with Peter.

“Sorry, I ramble when I’m nervous. This is the longest we’ve ever talked and it’s about my sexual blunders. I will actually keep talking if you do not stop me. Do you always make girls finish? Noah brags all the time about it. Guys always do though like this guy I went to highschool with. I was at a party and he asked me if he could finger me and I punched him for asking. Another time in college I heard some girls talking about fisting and when I looked it up online I almost passed out. There was this one-,” Peter finally cut you off, putting both his hands up watching you.

“Please just stop talking for two seconds. You ask questions then leave no space for responses,” you leaned back on the cushion and groaned. “And yes. Most guys do so either you’re doing something wrong or they are,” his words played around in your head.

What if he was right? What if you were the issue? How the hell could you fix this? You wanted to be able to have good sex and for once have an orgasm, but if you were doing something wrong how would you know? Your head slowly turned to Peter, reaching your decision at lightning speed.

“Have sex with me,” he choked on his beer, a coughing fit following as the words settled over him. “What the hell? Absolutely not,” you moved closer to him on the couch. “Please? Peter, it would help me so much! You would be able to tell me what I’m doing wrong and coach me through it. Plus, you’d be getting sex for it. Obviously, we wouldn’t tell anyone. We aren’t that close so it wouldn’t be too weird. I mean it’s not like me sleeping with Logan, you know what I mean?” he was shaking his head as you continued on.

“No. That would only make things weird. I’m not your sex coach,” your bottom lip pushed out as you gave the best puppy dog look you could. You clasped your hands together in a begging motion as you moved even closer, thighs brushing one another.

“Just think about it. You don’t have to give me an answer right now. Think about it,” You didn’t wait to see his reaction, going towards the restroom to shower off another failed night.

You didn’t see Peter all of the following week. He was ignoring you of course. Each day that passed was a painful reminder of what you had asked him to do. You still thought it was a good idea.

You and Peter were not close. Having sex would be like having sex with a stranger. A stranger you lived across the hall from, but it would be fine. You would be able to continue on with life afterwards like nothing happened and hopefully have better sex thereafter.

That was what you kept telling to yourself to make you feel better about asking that of him.

It was late on a Friday and you had the loft to yourself. Noah was out with some girl, Lily was busy, and Logan had a closing shift at the bar. Having the TV free meant a Twilight marathon and you were so happy.

Rain lightly fell outside, the room was chilly as you sprawled out on the couch, a thick blanket over you. You had no idea who’s sweatshirt you were wearing, but it was cozy and kept you warm.

Peter’s door flew open and revealed a dripping wet boy. You paused the TV as his gaze fell on you. You awkwardly smiled and waved at him, but confusion etched across your face as you took him in.

“Why are you wet?” His wide eyes looked frantic as he tried to respond to you. You knew it. What little, tiny progress you had made with him was gone because of your ask of him. He was nervous to be around you!

“I just showered,” he responded as he walked to the kitchen. Your brows furrowed. You didn’t hear the shower running, but discarded your follow up question as he walked past where you sat, looking for a matching sock.

You gently took his hand in yours and his head snapped to you. “Have you thought about what I asked?” He sighed at your question. He removed his hand from yours like he had been burned. You watched him close it into a tight fist. You let your hand go to your chest, worried that you had hurt him in some way.

“Yes and the answer is still no.” Your smile fell and you sat up, discarding your blanket and facing him. His eyes fell to the sweatshirt you were wearing and he pointed at it. “That’s mine,” you looked down and started issuing apologies as you went to remove it.

“Oh, I’m sorry. It was on the back of the couch and I got cold. Noah doesn’t let me run the heater,” you chuckled, but his hand landed on yours, stilling your movements. “It’s fine.” You thanked him, but you had questions gnawing at you about why he wouldn’t sleep with you.

“Peter. Why won’t you sleep with me? Is it because I’m not your type? Or am I not pretty or something?” A bewildered look took over his face at your questions.

“No, no. It’s not that. You’re very pretty,” your heart skipped a beat at his words. Peter thought you were pretty. “I just don’t want things weird around here,” you waved him off, pulling him onto the couch with you, but he put distance between you both as he sat.

“Don’t worry about that! I promise it won’t be weird. It won’t,” he shook his head at your words. So, you went to the last resort.

He sighed, rubbing his eyes as a chorus of pleases and pretty pleases flowed from you. It went on this way for a minute as he turned and eyed you and in the blink of an eye, Peter’s lips collided with yours. His hands enclosed around yours that sat on the tops of your thighs.

The shock faded from you as your eyes slipped shut, returning the kiss. Peter broke off and his eyes scanned your face. “One time. I will sleep with you one time. It will be tomorrow at one when everyone is asleep. It will happen in your bedroom. No one knows, especially Lily. This stays between us, do you understand?”

You nodded your head quickly, feeling butterflies erupt in your stomach. He got up from the couch, going to his room. Your breathing was ragged and uneven as you tried to calm down. What the hell did you just do?

You were going to sleep with Peter Parker.

The following day you didn’t see Peter once. He was gone before you woke up and not home when you got back from work. The work day had been entirely pointless, your mind only able to think about your arrangement for later that evening.

You were going to give Peter a chance to back out. A nagging feeling was pushing into your thoughts that you had pressured him into this. What was this going to do to your relationship? Honestly, it couldn’t go further south than it already was.

You stood in front of your floor length mirror, your robe opened at the front, looking at your bra and panties. The light green material with floral embellishments suited your skin. The cups were mesh, showcasing your entire breast. The thong matched, leaving nothing to the imagination. It was your favorite set you had.

When a light knock on your door shook you from your thoughts, you quickly closed the robe and went to answer it. Peter stepped in after you and you both stood there, looking at one another before you spoke.

“Listen, Peter, if you don’t want to do this, I completely understand. I don’t want you to feel like I pressured you or anything,” a smirk took over his lips as you spoke. “I said I’d help so I’m gonna help,” you lightly nodded as he stepped closer to you, hand going to your jaw.

You giggled and pulled away. “I’m so nervous. Just-uh, tell me something about yourself. Like a fun fact or something to help me,” he rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Like what?” You shrugged, bouncing from one foot to the other, hands playing together as you sighed.

“I don’t know. Anything,” He narrowed his eyes and looked at you. “I’ve lived in New York my entire life,” surprise took over you at the fact. “Oh my gosh, really? You seem like the type of person who’s lived in New York his whole life, but I didn’t want to assume. What was high school like?”

He shrugged and sat on the bed. “It was good. I went to a science high school so I was destined for the science path,” you moved closer to him, standing between his legs as he talked. “You seem like it. Really smart I mean,” you spoke quieter as he looked up at you, hands moving to your waist as you pushed the hair out of his face.

It was softer than you imagined. His thumbs swept across your hip bone as he gave a soft smile. “You have a really pretty smile,” you chuckled as your hand went lower, lightly cupping his jaw. His smile grew slightly larger as yours beamed at him. You bent down just slightly, Peter almost your height even sitting and connected your lips together.

The kiss was gentle at first, exploring one another in a way you hadn’t before. You two kissed for awhile before Peter broke away and his honey eyes swept over you. You hadn’t seen them this close before and they were gorgeous, unbelievably easy to get lost in for hours. “I’m gonna kiss you again and take your robe off, okay?”

His breath fanned over your face as he whispered to you. He connected you both together, lips dancing as you both started breathing heavier. One of his hands left your hip, pulling at the silk tie of your robe. You let it fall off your shoulders and Peter pulled back as he eyed you, brows furrowing.

“You bought lingerie for this?” You shook your head, moving your hands to tangle in his locks as his eyes scanned over your near naked frame. “No, this is just my bra and panties. I have a bunch like this,” his eyes closed and he chuckled as he pulled you to him.

“Of course you do,” his lips landed on yours again as your arms wrapped around his neck. He tasted so good, you didn’t want to stop as his tongue explored your mouth, small whimpers leaving you at the feeling. Your hands moved to the bottom of his t-shirt, pulling it up and discarding it in the room.

Peter pulled back, lips swollen and glistening. “Okay, so kissing isn’t the problem,” he chuckled breathlessly as you peered down at him, relief evident at his revelation. He nudged you gently towards the bed and you laid down, Peter following and putting his weight on you.

“Let’s just let this naturally progress so I can see what you do, okay?” You agreed as you laid back and his lips attacked your skin. His hands brushed across your chest, a gasp leaving you as his finger pinched your puckered nipple through the thin fabric.

“There’s condoms on the nightstand,” you mumbled as he kissed your neck. He pulled away and stopped, seeing your confused look. “We’re not even close to that,” your confusion only ran deeper as Peter stared down at you.

“I have to get you ready first. Has a guy ever warmed you up before he just fucked you?” You felt embarrassed by his question. Too mortified to respond, you just shook your head, hiding behind your hands.

He gently removed them from your face. “Hey, don’t hide from me. It’s not your fault. That’s their job, not yours. I need you to tell me how this normally goes for you. What have you done?” You shrugged thinking back to your past sexual experiences.

“They normally kiss me for a bit, throw a condom on, put me on top, and that’s about it. Oh, I’ve also given blowjobs. Not many, but a few. That’s about it,” Peter’s jaw fell open and he grew almost angry as you explained.

“Have you ever been on bottom?” You shook your head, a small no following. “Have you ever been given oral?” You offered the same response as before. “Have you ever been fingered?” You laughed, trying to lighten the mood. “I’ve done it to myself, but never by someone else. Last week the guy spent most of the time rubbing my left lip and I just wanted it to be over so I didn’t say anything,” Peter’s eyes shut as he calmed himself down at your words.

“Jesus christ. Alright, I’m gonna fix this,” before you could respond his lips were back on your neck. A sigh fell from you at the feeling, but you tried to hold it in, Peter reluctantly pulled away, eyeing you. “Don’t hold back for me. I need to hear you,” you nodded at him as he bent back down, lips attaching to your nipple over the mesh of your bra, a nervous laugh escaping at his words that faded into a moan.

Your breath stuttered at the feeling, his hand working your other breast. His hands went behind your back, unhooking the bra and removing it. He went back to work as your breathing grew ragged. His fingers brushed down your torso and paused at the top of your panties. He gently let his fingertips skip over your core.

“Fuck, you’re soaked,” he groaned as he felt you. “M’sorry,” you mumbled as he chuckled. “Don’t apologize, that’s good, dove.” That name. You knew that name. Someone had called you that name before.

You didn’t have time to dwell on it because you felt his slender finger pull your panties to the side and run a single knuckle through your folds.

Your breath hitched as he moved from your chest to your cunt. His forearm landed on your lower stomach, locking you in place with an insane strength, forcing your legs to stay open for him. “You have the most beautiful pussy I’ve ever seen,” you giggled nervously as his fingers gathered your slick and landed in his mouth.

“Thank you,” his laugh made you jerk, his breath fanning across you. His tongue flattened and you jumped, eyes going wide at the new sensation. His grip didn’t let you get far, holding you to the bed. The singular flick of his tongue drove you wild, desperate for more.

Your panties slid down your hips, being discarded behind him as he kissed along the inside of your thighs, inching closer to you. When Peter attached his mouth to your core, you moaned, loud and deep.

Eyes squeezing shut and your body going rigid as he sucked your clit inbetween his teeth, tongue lapping at your hole. Whimpers and moans flitted from you, warmth radiating off of you in waves. You knew you were close and Peter moved you closer to your release as his finger slipped into you.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he murmered as he slowly thrusted his fingers into you. “Oh my god, Peter,” his eyes darkened as he looked up at you, gathering your gaze as you moaned his name.

He added another finger, moving quicker as you thrashed below him. “C’mon, dove. You’re close. Cum for me.” Almost on command you felt like the wind had been knocked out of you as you hit your high.

Stars filled your vision as Peter milked you through it. “There you go. Good girl,” he whispered as he removed his fingers, coming back up to you and meeting your lips again.

He reached for the nightstand and grabbed a condom. The trash discarded as your eyes traveled down as he removed his sweats, seeing how large he was. Your eyes slightly widened and he smiled at the reaction.

“Inflate my ego, please,” you rolled your eyes and as you went to retaliate, his head slipped in. “Shit,” he breathed out into your neck. As he slipped further in, the more noises came from you. “You fit me perfectly,” he laughed momentarily as you thanked him, begging him to move right after.

You couldn’t fight the smile that took over your face at Peter’s laugh. It was so nice and something you didn’t hear often. Forcing your heart to flutter at the noise, a special music that only played for those that earned it.

“You have a lovely laugh,” it was breathless and panted out between moans, but you wanted him to know. He peered down at you, sitting fully in you and he started moving, connecting your lips.

As he picked up his pace, hitting deeply inside you, your moans mixed together in his mouth. He lifted one leg, sitting it on his shoulder, hands moving to your hips as he thrust deeper into you.

“Dove, don’t flutter your walls like that. I won’t last,” he grunted out as your eyes rolled shut, head falling to the side. “Sorry,” he shook his head, placing a kiss to the side of your knee.

His thumb landed on your clit, rubbing fast circles that had you a mumbling, moaning mess. Tears fell from the corners of your eyes, feeling another orgasm quickly approaching.

“Peter, m’gonna cum,” he picked up his pace at your words, keeping the same force, thumb still working you. “Cum for me. I’m right there with you,” you released around him, gutting moans silenced as he kissed you, you involuntarily tightening around his dick as he came.

He slowed his thrusts to a stop as he released your leg from his grip, leaning down and kissing your collarbones, trying to catch your breath as he did. “Was that okay? Did I do good? I feel like I didn’t do much,” You were still fighting to catch your breath as you asked. His gaze caught yours and you watched something flicker through his eyes as you waited for him to say something. Confusion? Anger? Hurt?

It was gone as quick as it appeared, but he got dressed quickly, not saying another word as you slipped your robe back on. He left the room as you got up from the bed, awkwardly grabbing your discarded bra from the floor, scanning the space for your panties.

Mortification hit you like a truck. Was it really that bad? You thought it had been pretty good. Wonderful actually. It must not have been as good for him. You should’ve done more.

The door to your room opened and Peter came in with a glass of water, watching you as you made eye contact with him. He handed the cup to you and you quietly thanked him, sipping as Peter grabbed your free hand.

He pulled you to him and gently kissed your forehead. You stood there in shock at the intimate movement. “You are not the problem,” you blinked up at him, not knowing what to say as his thumb swept on your cheekbone before he pulled away, saying goodnight and leaving you standing there like a deer in headlights.

You looked around the room, continuing with your search to keep your mind off of what had just happened. You had sex with Peter and it had been great. He even thought so. You giggled, jumping with a whispered, “Yes!” following the movement, a huge smile taking over your features.

Now where the hell were your underwear?

You expected the next morning to be weird and uncomfortable, but it wasn’t. It was how it always was with Peter. He simply acted like you didn’t exist. Noah checked the time and whistled as you appeared in the kitchen.

“Looks like someone got laid last night.” You froze in your spot, stuttering as you looked at the boys around the island. “Wha-what?” Logan smiled as Peter stared you down from behind them.

“You’re literally glowing and floating into the room. You got some last night. Midnight mystery man knows how to do it,” a shaky breath released from you as you laughed, cheeks burning.

“Oh-oh. Yeah, I had a guy over last night. It was okay,” you shrugged as Peter set the milk down, eyes narrowing at you. Noah bit into his bagel, talking as he chewed. “Just okay?” You sipped your orange juice and smirked into the glass.

“I mean, I’ve had better,” Peter audibly laughed, causing all eyes to fall on him. “I doubt that,” your eyes widened at him. “Is that so?” He smirked at you, arms crossing over his chest.

“By the sounds I heard last night, I’d say so. Sounded like you were having the time of your life,” Noah and Logan watched you two like a tennis match, heads bouncing back and forth between you two.

Noah’s phone went off and he groaned. “I would love to see how this ends, but we need to go,” he grabbed Logan and dragged him from the kitchen despite the protests of wanting to watch this.

When the front door closed, you two stared at each other before Peter spoke first. “You’re a little liar, dove,” he slowly approached you, backing you up against the counter, trapping you. “Hmm, am I?”

He smiled as he looked down at you. His smile was breathtaking as you saw his features morph with it as it grew. “You are. You know I’m the best you’ve had. I’ll even top myself,” Peter leaned down, nose brushing along yours, lips achingly close to yours.

Your eyes shut, waiting for him to make the next move, but he pulled away. “I’ll see you tonight,” he sauntered out of the room, leaving you to stabilize your breathing and stop the shaking of your hands at his promise.

And he did. Multiple times after that first encounter. It had become a regular occurrence during the week. Peter would slink into your room in the dead of night, the two of you fucking for as long as you could possibly last, testing the limits with one another, and then you would act like neither one of you existed the next day.

It worked at first. The first few months went without a hitch with that unspoken agreement. Until you started to notice the shift in his demeanor to you on a daily basis. The once asshole persona that he put on for you was slowly cracking as you chipped away at it.

He started sitting next to you on the couch even when there were other seats open. When you got to the bar after everyone else, your drink was sitting at the stool next to him, waiting for you. If he knew you two were alone in the loft after fucking you raw, he would carry you into the shower, laughter bellowing from the two of you as he had you over his shoulder. Peter would wander into your room, sitting on your bed to just talk to you about your day.

Things were changing and while you were happy about it, you were confused. These feelings that you felt blooming were not supposed to be happening. You didn’t want him to leave after you would sleep together, but knew that was crossing a threshold. You wanted to hang out more, just the two of you. You craved him when he wasn’t around. It wasn’t good.

Peter laid on your bed, cheeks burning and flush after another late night session, but you jumped up, giggles flowing from you as you grabbed your robe and threw it on. His laugh flitted through the air at you, hand grabbing your wrist and tugging you back to him.

You hummed as his lips met yours, hand caressing your jaw, smiling into the kiss. “Where you going, dove?” Your teeth sank into your bottom lip as your hand rested on his chest, stomach flipping at the pet name. You pecked his lips again, fighting with yourself to go and get what you wanted or stay in his warm embrace.

“Stay here. I’ll be right back,” he nodded, lips landing on the tip of your nose as you hurried into the kitchen, grabbing the plate of cookies you had made earlier and a small glass of milk for him.

When you entered your room, he hadn’t moved. His arm was tucked behind his head, still completely nude and only covered by your duvet. His bicep was flexed unintentionally, the expanse of his chest was massive, his toned torso had you drooling.

His smile grew as he saw what you had in your hands. You sat on your knees on the bed, handing him the plate and the glass. “Post sex snack. I’m trying out a new recipe and want to know what you think,” his eyes fluttered shut as he bit into the cookie, a groan following as he took the glass of milk and chugged it, grabbing another cookie as he did.

With his mouth full, his eyes met yours and smiled. “Fucking phenonemal. You can bake, baby,” you giggled as he ate, snagging the plate from your hands and hoarding them from you. “They’re yours, promise!” He placed the plate on the nightstand table and grabbed you, placing you on his lap, lips skirting across your collarbones.

“Baking cookies for me to eat after sex, doesn’t get better than this.” His hand covered your mouth, knowing a squeal was going to follow as he flipped you both, placing you on your back and attacking your skin once again.

Peter didn’t leave your room that night. When you woke up the next morning to an empty bed, your heart ached. You didn’t know when he had left, but it hurt. You missed Peter.

He didn’t make any further advancements. You didn’t know what was going on, but the lingering touches and gazes he shot at you, even around the others, had your head spinning. You knew he didn’t want anyone to know about this little thing and you understood why.

The loft’s ecosystem was fragile and the tiniest things could cause major shifts. You all knew the rules and one of the rules was no sleeping with each other. Now you understand that even more.

When Lily set you up on a date with someone else, you didn’t know what to do. Would Peter say something? You were fairly certain he was feeling the same, the icy man you had known was almost completely melted and a new, adoring one stood in his place.

“Lily wants to set me up with someone.” You had blurted it out one night as he slipped back into his briefs. It was like watching a new personality shift and take his place. His body tensed, freezing entirely, but nodded and shrugged. “I don’t know if I want to go though,” he cut you off before you could finish with a harsh laugh.

“You should. I’m about done with this anyways. Think it’s time to be done. Should’ve stopped a while ago, but it’s so easy with you just across the hall.” It was like he had slapped you across the face. He turned on his heel, sauntering out of your room right after those words had left his mouth like it was nothing new.

It shouldn’t have been something new for you. This was how Peter was and this was a temporary situation. Nothing more. Despite how you felt and what you were slightly hoping would happen. It was silly. You were nothing more than a convenient and easy lay for him. He would never feel the same way.

Lily sat waiting for you at the restaurant, drinks and appetizers already ordered. When you sat across from her, her scrutinizing gaze washed over you.

“Are you having sex? Like good sex?” You had barely situated yourself and you stared at her, mouth hanging open. “What? What makes you ask that?” She shrugged, monitoring your every move.

“You’re carrying yourself like you did,” you rolled your eyes as you sipped your drink. “I was. Not anymore though. Tell me about that guy you were talking about,” she instantly perked up, trying to pry the information out of you.

“Okay, tell me all about it. How is it? Are you finishing? Is it the same guy or different guys? What’s his name? What does he look like?” As her questions came quickly, one after another, you noticed your table start to shake. Every other second, the whole room vibrated.

A hushed silence fell over the restaurant as everyone waited to see if it would stop. You peered around Lily, having a clear view of the street outside. A large, robotic creature came pounding down the street.

Your jaw fell slack as you grabbed her hand, a rush of other restaurant goers running towards the back of the building to exit through the alley, but there were too many people trying to get out at once. You and Lily crouched behind the bar with a scream as the glass walls that adorned the front of the building smashed open, a mail truck sat blocking the front.

The red and blue blur of his suit landed on the mail truck that sat half in the building and half out. Lily peeked over the counter, pulling you with her to see what was happening. A few other of the employees and people just simply trying to enjoy their dinners took up the space around you both.

You couldn’t make out what Spider-Man was saying, your adrenaline pumping too hard to focus on what was being shouted, but he sounded familiar. You knew that voice. You knew it. His masked head turned and saw people still in the building and yelled for everyone to get out through the back.

You froze dead in your spot as realization washed over you. No. There was no way. There was absolutely no chance it was him.

It was Peter. That was Peter.

As you went to stand with Lily, you watched as his head did a double take in your direction. You looked directly at the white eyes, holding each other's stare for a few seconds too long as Lily grabbed you, screaming your name and that you needed to go.

You looked at her briefly and started moving, stepping over broken glass. When you turned to look back at him, he was gone.

The boys all sat on the couch, watching the breaking news of what had happened in the last hour as you both bounded through the door, shaking uncontrollably. Noah and Logan looked towards you and saw how frazzled you both were.

As Lily began explaining what happened, you scanned the apartment. “Where is he?” They all stopped and looked at you. “Peter? He’s in his room,” Noah said as Lily sat on the couch with them, trying to calm down.

You moved quickly to his door, trying to open it, but finding it locked. You pounded on the door. “Peter! Peter, open the door!” There was no movement, no noise on the other side.

The tremble in your hands grew more frantic. Your stomach was in knots. Peter was Spider-Man. Peter Parker was Spider-Man. Who knew? Did the guys know?

When you turned back to the living room, everyone's eyes were on you. “Are you okay? Did you hit your head?” Logan asked, moving towards you. You stepped back from him. “Oh, I’m fine! I need to talk to Peter. When he comes home, tell him I need to talk to him,” they all stood dumbfounded at your outburst, not used to seeing you act like this.

You went straight to your room and opened the door. As you did, a gloved hand went over your mouth, muffling your scream as they kicked the door shut.

“Calm down, calm down. It’s me, it’s me!” Your eyes whipped to the side as you saw Peter standing there in the Spider-Man garb. “I’m going to remove my hand and I need you to keep quiet, okay?” Your breathing evened out and you nodded your head.

He moved his hand and you turned, scanning over his figure. “Holy fuck! Are you okay? Did he hurt you? I don’t understand. I don’t understand. Peter, are you Spider-Man? Seriously? Are you?” He watched you as your hands had a death grip on his forearms, fingernails digging in through the fabric of his suit.

He was frantic, panic taking him over as he searched you. “I’m fine. I’m not hurt. Are you hurt, dove? I saw you at the restaurant with Lily and I don’t know how close you were to the windows,” his hand cupped your cheeks, tilting your head around as he searched you for any visible injuries. “No, I’m fine. We’re fine. We were towards the back,” he nodded his head, crushing you to him as he pulled you into a hug, a big sigh leaving him, lips placing a chaste kiss to your forehead before withdrawing his touch.

You instantly missed it, the comfort it offered gone as he moved back in your room, away from you. What the hell was happening?

“Okay, good. Yes, I’m Spider-Man. I’ve been Spider-Man since I was fifteen,” your jaw fell slack as you looked at him. You were roommates with Spider-Man. You had slept with Spider-Man.

“Holy shit, Peter! What the fuck? Who knows?” He started removing the suit and as you watched, your features morphed into one of confusion. As normal Peter came back to the room, suit discarded, you recalled the events of the night from just a few days ago. The two being completely different entities. The words he had said to you replayed in your mind. You halted and stepped back from him. “You’re the one who saved me,” it came out as a whisper, brain almost unable to piece the information together.

The sweet, sarcastic, funny superhero who had been your savior and who had sat and chatted with you for a bit after the dramatic saving was Peter. Asshole Peter who wouldn’t give you the time of day until you continuously spread your legs for him.

His eyes darted to your figure as he stepped into his regular pants, stopping his motions as he slowly nodded. “Yeah, it was me.” You couldn’t help the feelings of anger that coursed through you, some sort of betrayal washing over your mind.

“So, he can be nice to me. He can joke around with me about the shitty situation that I had been in, but not you. Not unless my legs are spread for you? Because it’s nice to have an easy fuck when I’m across the hall. Wouldn’t talk to me in public, wouldn’t let me sit next to you on the couch, would leave a room when I entered it. You know what, Peter,” you scoffed, irritation bubbling up in you, tears slowly falling down your cheeks, “get out. If you don’t want to treat me like a person then go. You said you were done with this anyways.”

His mouth was open, brows furrowing and shaking his head, moving towards you to try and calm you down as the words flew from you. You opened your bedroom door, not caring that everyone was still in the living room and stood next to the door, forcing him out.

You didn’t want him in your safe space. He didn’t deserve it.

Lily left later that night and you laid in your bed, tears hitting the pillow at the sheer stupidity of the problem you had. Why did you think Peter would act like a decent human to you? It had been years of continuous shit and a few months of secretly sleeping together would change it? Dumb.

A tapping at your window had you rolling over and seeing the culprit in his garb had you sitting up in your bed, a bewildered expression on your face as he pointed to the lock and was asking you to open it.

It was freezing out and raining. You didn’t want him sick because then he would get everyone else sick. That’s the only reason to open the window.

As he climbed in, removing the mask and shaking his wet hair out, his skin was pasty with the red tint sitting on his cheeks and the tip of his nose. You turned and grabbed the spare throw blanket you had, holding out your entire arm to him with the blanket on the edge of your fingers.

He thanked you and wrapped it around himself before sitting on the edge of your bed, eyes never leaving you despite your attempt to steer clear of his gaze. You left the room and went to the kitchen. You wanted to postpone this conversation by all means. If that meant making yourself some hot chocolate with some extra for the asshole that was shivering in your room then so be it.

When you came back and handed him the mug, no whipped cream or marshmallows, he chuckled at you. Yours was piled high with the extras, even the small pink marshmallows that you fawned over in the grocery store with him during the weekly grocery trip for the loft, sat on your mug.

He remembered how you justified them being an extra fifty cents because they didn’t get stale as fast. He knew it was because they were pink and thought it was adorable that you tried to win him over on the purchase. He would buy you a million pink marshmallows if it meant seeing that look of excitement take over your features.

“What do you want, Peter?” He sighed, a pained expression taking over his face at your words. “I need to explain some things to you, dove.” You sipped your drink and sat in your desk chair across from your bed and nodded, not letting yourself look at him.

“Why do you call me that?” You whispered out, finding the whipped cream and chocolate shavings much more interesting. His laugh followed your question. “Do you know the first time I met you?”

You nodded and answered. “The loft interview.” You couldn’t fight it anymore, you had to look at him. A deep sadness sat on his shoulders, face sunken like he hadn’t slept, the stubble growing quickly on his jaw.

“No. I met you at that Halloween party in college. You brought a tray of cupcakes, the only person to do anything like that, and when Logan introduced us you gave me one. You said that your secret ingredient was a small dove chocolate in the middle. You were already so drunk, you thought you were whispering it to me, but you were yelling out over the music. I never heard your name when he brought you over so I called you dove for the rest of the night,” your memory of the night flashed in front of your eyes.

You had completely forgotten about that. Logan had gotten you absolutely shiftfaced and you ended up blacking out, memory erased. You had met Peter that night.

Hurt hit you like a truck, guilt following. “Is that why you were mad at me? Because I didn’t remember?” He laughed and shook his head, leaning forward and staring into the mug.

“Dove, I fell in love with you the minute you walked in that fucking door. I couldn't care less that you didn’t remember. We all got so fucked that night, it would’ve been impossible for you to know.” A permanent shocked expression sat on your face at Peter’s words. It made even less sense than before.

“My Spider-Man responsibilities are dangerous. They have ruined my life before and I cannot let it happen again,” his eyes met yours and they were brimmed with tears, a sniffle following as he squeezed the mug in his hands.

“What happened, Peter?” You walked over to him, taking the mug from his hands and letting your fingers go into the pillowy soft locks on his head. His hands landed on your hips, head resting on your chest as he tried to speak.

“Gwen happened. I dated her in high school and I loved her, dove. She knew about Spider-Man, she was in danger because of it, and I couldn’t save her. I don’t know how it’s possible, but I think I love you even more and that was the last thing I wanted to happen. I thought that if I put some distance between us, and didn't let you get close to me, that you would be safe. I can’t let anything happen to you. I need you safe.”

He was crying as your thumbs brushed under his eyes as he spoke. “I’m sorry about everything I have said to you. You are not just a fucking lay to me and when you said that Lily wanted to set you up it was like me opening myself up to more had been a mistake because you don’t feel the same. You are everything. I tried to hate you and tried to not care about you, but it didn’t work. I love you and I want to love you, but I’m so scared.” You gave him a soft smile and a wet laugh, tears falling to match his.

“Peter. That’s not how it works. I am so sorry about Gwen. I can’t even imagine what you went through and going through it so young is horrible. But you can’t protect me from everything. I’m a grown woman who has to take care of herself. Me knowing what you do and who you are doesn’t put me in any more danger and if it does I know what you’re capable of, Peter. I know you will be able to save me again.” You gigged at the end, hands playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“And I love you too. I do,” his smile grew at your words, pulling you in between his legs even further and connecting your lips.

As he laid back on the bed, taking you with him, you let him deepen the kiss, but pulled back, straddling his waist. “We’re going to have to sign a new loft agreement.” He nodded his head, hand cupping the back of your neck and bending you back over to meet him. “We’ll deal with it in the morning.”

“Please don’t make me save you again, dove. It was terrifying seeing your dorm building on fire and knowing you were still in there. Can I have more cookies too? I burn a lot of calories on patrol nights,” You nodded eagerly, lips trailing down his neck, your breathing picking up.

“I’ll bake you all the cookies you want. I use dove chocolate on those, too,” you whispered out, sitting up from him, hands resting on his chest, “My secret ingredient actually isn’t that though. It’s love,” you batted your eyelashes at him in an over dramatic way. His laugh echoed in the room at the cheesy comment, before wrapping his arms around you and crushing you to his chest.

“That’s what it is. Keep putting that in, ‘kay?” You nodded, letting him kiss you slow and deep, heart doing somersaults at his words. Peter loved you and you couldn’t wait to find out everything you could about what made him, him.

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