#figure out how i need to restructure the rest of it.

[krytus]

a week ago i was ready to give up on kings blood and today i just finished outlining each new chapter of the restructuring/rewrite im doing 😌.....

[passionateseadruid]

Snake Kings Bride 11

notes: Unfortunately this will be my last chapter for a while... I need to restructure the story, figure out some personal matters, and focus on College and my dreams. I will however be posting a new mini series. Chapters will be longer and release monthly and I should be back to this in a month or two.

You felt bad for your new baby Fenrir. You and Lucifer adopted him and brought him home just yesterday and Lucifer is already being possessive over you two. He placed a strict order over the entire palace. All doors and windows were to be locked, all curtains were to be drawn. No one was allowed to leave the building much less look outside. So it was just the seven of you here today. You, Fenrir, Renesmee, Nina, Styx, Pluto, …and Lucifer. 

Lucifer had been acting weird since last night when he placed the order. He promised that it would only be for today. Before he locked himself in his room.

And stayed there surprisingly… no breakfast in bed, no snuggling up to you in your sleep, no watching you from the corner of the room or from beside the bed… he was actually giving you space?

Sweet! 

You hoped out of bed and got showered and dressed for the day. You may not be able to take Fenrir out with you today but that certainly doesn’t mean you can’t make his first day memorable. You dressed up an a maroon turtleneck, black leggings, and some fuzzy socks, going for a full wine-mom/soccer-mom vibe. 

“It’s so weird that I’m a mom now!” You excitedly tell Nina as she escorts you to Fenrir’s new room. For some reason, last night Lucifer insisted that Nina stay posted by your side at all times today. Nina looked different today, wearing a black double breasted mundir jacket and fitted pants.

“I’m sure Hell is buzzing at the news of a new prince joining the royal family.”

“Him and I are going to have the best day ever!” You had no idea what the future held. Would you even be able to escape Hell? Could you take Fenrir with you if you can? What will happen to him if you can’t? Would you be willing to stay in Hell for him? How are the rest of the staff going to react to his presence?

“Mommy!” The young hell hound smiled and ran to you as you entered his room. Renesmee has just finished buttoning up his vest as she young pup came running to you. He was a bit plump for someone who was in a rough system like the hellhound adoption center. His fur was as white as snow, much like one would expect from a Samoyed puppy. A gray cotton vest, light blue shirt, and black pants. Renesmee wore a gray shirt and black plaid dress.

“Hello my sweet darling!” You pick him up. “Look at you! From pauper to prince!” 

He giggled and hugged you. “Thank you for the new clothes mommy!”

“Of course sweetie! You’re so polite! What would you like to eat for breakfast today?” You walked toward the kitchen with him in your arms. 

“Bacon and eggs!” He cheered.

You two walked into the kitchen and Pluto was glaring at you two. She wore a simple black dress that went down to her knees with a v neck cut, the sleeves were frilly and went to her elbows, and to tie it all off there was a red fabric belt nestled right under her chest. You set him down at the kitchen Island, gave a small friendly wave to Pluto, and set up some music you could listen to while you cook. The song-Baby I Love You by Random Encounters-ramped up slowly as you pulled out the carton of eggs and pack of bacon from the fridge and the frying pan from the lower cabinet. You swayed back and forth as you cooked. Not noticing that your new tot was being escorted into the parlor by Pluto as Nina watched and shrugged it off. 

After about ten minutes you finally finished  making the food and were ready to serve him when you saw that he wasn't there anymore. "Oh no." You started to panic. you set the food down and started to run through the various halls and rooms of the palace as Nina was hot on your tail. "Fenrir? Fenrir?! Come out sweetie!"

"Oh you're looking for the boy? He's in the parlor with Pluto." Nina finally informed you.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?!" You both ran to the parlor.

"You didn't ask me sooner. I'm a succubus, not a mind reader." She said nonchalantly, not out of breath or breaking a sweat at all.

The two rushed in to the parlor to see him transforming into a human form. His human form was again small and round, but instead of white matted fur he has short messy platinum hair, and instead of red eyes and white irises he has red irises. She looks over and sees a human woman with dark drown hair and an olive skin tone, round cheek and a beautiful curvy, plumper figure, as well as the same dress as Pluto was wearing. The two look over at you shocked.

"P-Pluto?" You stuttered as you pieced it together

She looked down bashfully and folded her hands behind her back. "Y-yes... my lady." She transforms back in shame. 

She walks towards Fenrir and picks him up. "Why did you take him?"

She hesitated before you motion for her to speak her mind "I... I don't want him to be raised by a racist who only wants to use him for sport or for work!" She yelled at you, anger brewed on her face.

"I Would never! I love him with all my heart! I love all the hellborn species equally." You try to reassure her.

"Wait... really?" She seems genuinely surprised

"Yes!" 

"but... his majesty-

"Is not me! I'm not like him and I never will be!" You set Fenrir down and took Pluto's hands. "I stood up to Lucifer and Charlie because of the way they treated your kind. And I'll do it again in a heartbeat..."

She looked away. "I'm sorry your highness."

"Dont call me your highness. We are equals Pluto. don't let anyone else tell you otherwise." You pulled her face up and noticed the tears in her eyes. You wiped them away and smiled at her.

She hugged you, her figure shaking slightly as you held her. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I've been so rude to you since you got here, yet you've done the one thing I've never been brave enough to do!"

"What do you mean?" You pet her trying to calm her down.

"You stood up to the king! and the princess to boot! I-I could never..." She looked at you in awe.

"Are you kidding? Pluto you the bravest and strongest person I've ever met! Plus the only reason that I'm still standing is because for some insane reason he's in love with me! But regardless... I did it because for as long as I'm here, I'm going to protect the most neglected of society."

"Really?"

"I promise." You gave her a reassuring smile. You then turned to Fenrir to see him working on a puzzle with Styx who had joined the group in favor of Nina who had disappeared. "Where's Nina? and how long have you been here?"

"She went off to go make out with her wife. And since Pluto started crying." Styx's response made Pluto stutter embarrassedly.

"Why's your hair blue? Why are your horns different? Why are you so tall compared to the other imps? Why are you so stoic and sad?" Fenrir kept asking them questions about themself as they were the only one really focused on the puzzle.

"I'll go make you three some breakfast." Pluto offered.

"Thank you but that's really not necessary." You smiled.

"I know but I'd rather be anywhere than here right now..." She rubbed the back of her head and left.

You giggled a bit and placed Fenrir in your lap. "Focus on the puzzle. It's good for a growing boys brain."

"Okay Mommy!" He happily started to jam pieces together willy-nilly.

You sighed and looked over at Styx. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course you may." They said not taking their eyes off the puzzle.

"Why is everyone wearing black today? Is it a national holiday? ...Is hell considered a nation? A region? A province?" You said that last part more so to yourself than to Styx.

"To answer your second question, Hell itself works as both a nation and a kingdom. Each ring works as a micronation or a territorial state. And within the pride ring there are nine cities-formerly called the nine circles-and each city holds subsections, usually ruled over by either an overlord or a member of the Ars goetia."

"Of yeah Renesmee told me about that. Each ring is stacked on top of each other like a cake!"

"Like a cake?" Styx raised their eyebrow at me.

"That's what she said... though, she was hungry when she told me about it..." You trailed off in thought.

"Well she's not exactly wrong." Styx shrugged.

"Can I ask you one more question?" 

"Sure." They shrugged again.

You hesitated for a moment, only for a moment. "What do you know about this ring?" You showed them your ring.

"This is known as the Serpents grasp. It's said that whoever is in possession of it is doomed to have their soul devoured by the devoured by the devil himself! But that's just a false allegation. See the real story is far more interesting. See about 250 years ago a man fell in love with a beautiful woman, but she was engaged to another man so he made a sacrifice to Lucifer himself to give him charm unlike any other to woo the maiden and the girls family into giving her to him instead of her fiancé. But in exchange for this deed Lucifer demanded the first born girl of their family tree. Which was the girl you took the place of. Most believed he wanted her as a wife or a concubine. But he already had Lilith who... really only cared about the sinners of Hell instead of people like me and Pluto. Pluto had it the worst though, Lilith seemed to personally despise the Hellhounds so in the last years of her marriage to the king Lilith would often give Pluto outlandish tasks. But she got away with it because Lucifer couldn't bare to loose her..."

You looked at Styx in disbelieving, shocked by what you just heard. "But if he was so happily married why did he want the first girl from that family?" 

"He wanted a nanny for Charlie." They said nonchalantly.

You were taken aback by their attitude. When you went to say something you were cut off by Fenrir handing you two puzzle pieces.

"Mommy… the puzzle is broken." His lip quivered.

"It’s not broken! It’s just that those pieces don’t go together." You searched for the correct puzzle piece. "See?" You connected the pieces and they fit together nicely.

"Mommy’s magic!" He stared at you in adoration.

You guys spent a few hours watching movies and TV shows doing puzzles while you watched. Giggling, snacking, and cuddling. Fenrir even wanted to frame all the puzzles you did together. 

But it all came to a stop when Pluto cleared her throat and you, Fenrir, and Styx looked at her. Pluto motioned to the door, her and Styx gave each other a look (a silent understanding of sorts), before Pluto nodded at Styx. Pluto then took Fenrir from your lap and held him as Styx pulled you to your feet and pulled you out of the Parlor.

Through the winding labyrinth Styx lead you to Lucifers study. You don’t get why he needed a workshop, an office, and a Study. Rich people shit.

Much like everything else in the palace it was garnished with white and gold and covered head to toe in red. There were beautifully intricate book shelves. Horns and wings carved and painted into the walls and furniture. There was a beautiful curtain at the far wall satin fabric with embroidered Fleur-De-Lis on it. The curtain weren’t fully closed. A small piece of the fabric exposing the marble window.

You slowly crept closer to the window, curiosity pulling you closer with little to no resistance.

And there it was… the reason Lucifer didn’t want you to leave. The reason why he didn’t want you to look outside. The reason he locked himself in his room today. There were monochromatic angels descending from the skies. …And they were slaughtering every soul in their path…

[allkordelia]

Keep Me in Your Thoughts (10)

A/N: here's we go, i'm writing the next chapter right now which means i'm getting close to writing rhaelle and daemon reuniting. ☺️

Word Count: 8.5k

❧

My eyes moved boredly between my hand and the master of law as they talk about the stonewall problem back home, I shouldn't even be thinking about this shit right now. I finally don't have a war up my ass and here are these two ruining my trip talking about time delays and restructuring on the wall surrounding the serpent islands, the stonewall was what kept men from Westeros from continuing beyond the mountain of the wall. No one knows how long it has been there or who created it but what they do know is it is hard as shit to knock down and it helps a lot during the war.

"Can you both take a beat, please? Their no need to talk about this now, we're on vacation, so enjoy yourself. Drink. Gamble. Get your cocks wet..." My eyes go over to Banneth making the middle age white man go pink, "I didn't bring two big ass tents for you to just stand and talk about things that are being handled already back home, so please enjoy yourself. Have some fun." My hand hit both their arms before I walked over to the table of food and took some cut-up strawberries to my comfy little blanket pallet that I had the servants make up before I could go and relax and get in some reading, marrio, and valaena walked in.

I look at her and notice something wasn't right, even though she had a smile on her face as she look at baby adrielle, it didn't reach her eyes like it usually does. There was something off about her. I smiled when she caught me staring at her, and she came over with the sweet smile that I haven't seen in a well, note to self when I get back home valaena and I require some mother/daughter bonding.

"Hello, my little water nymph. How did the queen like the blanket." I asked before scrunching up my face so my nose would move as I made sounds making the baby giggle.

"It was a shawl and she liked it very much, even though it was hard to get a proper answer from her since I was bombarded with questions about the stepstones situation." I turn to her with a look of pity knowing that it was hard for her to talk...for anyone for that matter, even though I sent ships with supplies and men to help out. We have yet to hear about the war ending.

"Those old hags can never learn to keep their mouth shut, I swear...but don't let what they say get to you. They are just jealous." I grin when she giggled and shook her head, I move some of the white out of her face before resting my hand on her cheek. As I look at her I grow a little sad, she looks exactly like me when I was her age, and the thought of her getting married makes me want to hide her away from the world.

She looks at me with a puzzled look and asked me what I was thinking about, "Oh, nothing, just trying to figure out, how tall I should make your tower when men start asking for your hand." Valaena rolled her eyes with a smile before slapping my arm, I removed my hand from her face and smiled.

"You sound like thoros." She said making me smirk.

" That should tell you all you need to know, his fatherly intuition is never wrong and neither are mine." I look at the toddler and moved to feed adrielle a small slice of strawberries.

"Unrelated topic of fathers, otto wanted me to tell you the king wishes an audience." I let out a groan not wanting to talk or even see anyone, I spent three years in exile spending my time fighting a war and tending boring meetings. All I want is to be left alone with my family and relax. Is that too much to ask?

"I can never get a minute for myself, " I said under my breath walking away after I kissed my daughter's head. I looked over at Vogero and Banneth and motioned to them to follow me, I walked out of the tent first before being followed by my guards and my advisors.

As we walk I could sense people staring, I snap my eyes around the camp making some of the men look away and go back to work. I shook my head continuing with my business, I finally make it inside the king's tent and looked around. The people inside stopped and got out of the way as I and my men walkthrough, we find viserys in his chair with *surprise* *surprise* otto whispering in his ear.

"King Viserys," I called out catching both man attention, they looked surprised and probably thought I wasn't going to show up.

"Queen Rhaelle." He acknowledged making me nod my head to him, "I am surprised to see you finally presented yourself, we were worried you were going to miss out on the hunt."

"Oh, no no no, I don't do hunting. I more skin and gut the beast rather than hunt, I leave that to the brawns." I smirked as I cross my arms, viserys had a polite smile as he nod.

Otto reminded viserys of the reason they brought me here, making viserys give a look of grimace before lacing his fingers together and resting them on his stomach.

"Well, Rhaelle, the reason we called you to join us to celebrate Aegon's second nameday is–"

"Is it for baelor to spend time with his siblings and you?" I asked, I truly hoped he didn't take me out of exile and bring my son here to talk about me delaying the trade.

"O-of course that and also...." I watched impatiently as he tries to me the other reason.

"We want to know why your exports have been getting delayed and our goods have been getting cut down, while the rest are still getting their full share of stocks," Otto said, I stared at him blankly trying to figure out how he became hand to the king, I mean you have to be either stupid or have no common sense to ask me that.

"Because of the war happening in the stepstones." Otto looked callous at me while Viserys gave a look of confusion, it seems I have to dumb it down for them, "Some of your goods are getting split in half to go your brother and his men, so they won't die of starvation." I said before smiling.

"We didn't agree to that when we sign our agreement."

"No, but I couldn't spare men or food for the stepstones, so I had my advisor write a letter to king viserys about his goods getting cut down for a while just until the war is over and he said okay." I smiled wider seeing otto's eye cheek twitch.

"I don't remember–" viserys said slowly as he looks to be trying to remember what he wrote.

"I do. Banneth." I look at the man as he took a scroll from under his arm and gave it to me, viserys and otto look at me speechless, as I opened the scroll and read out what viserys wrote me.

"Dear Rhaelle...how is baelor...that is all fine with the goods anything to help with the war, and will you and your family like to join us on celebrating aegon's secondname day." I scan through the letter before turning the scroll for them to read, viserys squints as otto let out an annoyed sound as he stood straight after reading it.

"Oh, I apologize I must've been drinking while writing it and forgot." He said looking at otto who looked unimpressed.

That and you're slowly becoming senile, I thought.

I gave banneth back the scroll before slapping my hands together and rubbing them, "So if we're done here. I would rather go back to relaxing and enjoying my free time away from my responsibilities." Otto held up his hand as if that was going to shut me up.

"No, you can't go. We still have to work out about our half of the goods–"

"That's not my problem, if you want your fair share back then help out and send food and supplies to the stepstones. I can't do everything on my own I have my people to worry about." I turned on my heels and walked out with my men in tow, we headed back to the tent to find the tent with more people in it.

I sigh going over to my pallet of pillows and flopping down, I leaned back with my arms behind my head and my right leg over my left. Let's see how long I can relax before someone ruins my mood. I closed my eyes trying to block out the sounds around me and try to find some peace in sleep, but it seems my brain is in a foul mood as the images of dead bodies occupied my mind making my eyes open. I hate when it does that, sometimes I wish I can take it out and scrub it clean, and make all the bad thoughts go away.

I look around me and took the book I had left and opened it, maybe reading can give me some peace. I heard the curtain of the tent move and footsteps, I heard the sound of baelor's voice making me look up at him with a sweet smile. I abandoned the book as he tells me about going over to viserys tent to see him, I could see it on his face he didn't want to go, but I know I can't keep viserys and he separated. He is my son's father and I don't want baelor to regret not having a relationship with his father because of what happened to me.

As we let go of each other. I moved to ruffle his hair before giving him one last kiss on the head, I gave him a small smile as he drag his feet and walk away leaving me. I look down at the pallet and the book deciding that it wasn't going to give me some peace, so I called for a servant, and like a drop of a cloak two appeared.

"You called, my queen." I moved to sit crisscross on the floor before turning my gaze back to the man and woman, I noticed a bowl of uncut strawberries in the man's hand.

"Where is everyone." My eyes turned to the honey skin woman with brown, long layered hair with a long, lively face, and lidded hazel eyes.

"In the woods finding more food for dinner, my queen." I quirked a brow asking about my daughter, "....she went along with lady adrielle and marra for some fresh air, it will be a while until they get back." I hummed before I leaned back getting comfortable.

"Hmmm, good that gives you two enough time to make your queen feel relaxed....undress." I look at the girl, and she gave a smile as she slowly peels off the straps of her dress from her shoulders, "I'm feeling a bit famish...come, boy." I turned my eyes to the tanned man with silver, fluffy hair that hangs over his strong, warm face. I can see his clear amber eyes scan over my body with lust and hunger, he took steady steps toward me before taking a seat next to me.

He feeds me a strawberry as the girl moves to sit on her knees in front of me, she pushes my long skirt up my legs to rest on my thighs. I grunt softly feeling her warm tongue against my folds, I move my hand to her head to guide her before turning my face to man. His lips find mine and our tongues swirl together tasting each other, I sat up slightly as the boy removed my black vest and tunic.

His lips went to my beast kissing and sucking leaving love bites in his wake, I let out a moan feeling the woman's fingers pump inside me slowly as her tongue swipe up my clit making me move my hips a bit to grind against her face. My fingers gently scratched at her scalp as she was bringing me close to my release, the man's lips released my nipple and kiss me as my hand rub his cock through his trousers.

My hand gripes his side as the other clenches the woman's hair, my mouth falls open against his mouth and my back arches as I came as the woman kept sucking my achy cunt. I breath heavy watching the girl come from under my skirt to lick her lips and her two fingers, I gulp as I sat up a bit making the man pull back, my feet tingle and since no one from my group made it back yet, why not continue the fun.

"Now, your turn," I said motioning between the two, the man peel off his clothes piece by piece with the help of the girl. I watch as their bodies molded together as they kiss and grope each other. As they moan, my left arm went behind my head and my right hand slid down my stomach to my wet cunt eager to be played with more.

❧

My arms stretch above my head wearing a dark red gown, my head turns slightly at the two servants as they walk out behind me. They gave me sly smiles making me watch them walk away to continue their chorus with a small grin, I know I shouldn't be doing it especially here of all places, but thoros did say I needed to find an outlet for my stress, and besides it not like I'm doing anything wrong. If my husband says it's okay to have a few paramours, who am I to say no?

I glance around before seeing the deer that ser keagan brought from his hunt laying on the bench table still not skinned. I tsk to myself forgetting to take the knives out like valaena told me too, I move towards the chest that was at the end of the table and opened it taking out the knives and an apron. After I put on the apron, I started to sharpen the knives I'm going to use to skin the deer, as I was examining the blade, a man with dirty blonde hair and a scruffy beard walked up to my camp.

"Queen Rhaelle?" I glance at him looking him up and down, I nod my head before I made a long incision along the stomach of the deer.

"I am Janas Mormont. I was the one who sent the raven about House Lash and House Farman." I hmmed as I kept on cutting, I remember them they were two of the eight houses that tried to take the serpent islands from me.

"Yes and thank you for that you saved me and my men some time to prepare for their attack." I stop what I was doing and turn to look at him, he smiled at me before bowing his head.

"Which leads me to ask, how did you know they were going to attack?" I watch him carefully as he moves closer before telling me.

"...against my father's wishes, I sent you the raven, and let's just say he wasn't too pleased with me." I look at him for a minute before looking away from him to rip the furry skin from the deer before laying it on the bench.

"I'm sorry to hear that, but why did you help me? Not to sound cynical but you gain nothing from helping me. We don't know each other." He nods.

"We don't. But, you knew my brother, Liram," My brows shot up at the name, "He fought in the Battle of Aegean, and before he passed he wrote letters telling me about new life in serpent isles." I look away from him, I didn't know liram personally but whenever I visited Aegean with Thoros, he was always the first to greet us with a bright smile. He was sweet. When I was first told about the attack on Aegean, I flew there immediately to find the enemies are gone and the kingdom and town burn to ashes. There were few survivors. The Lord who takes the island was dead along with his entire family and manpower. It was a dark day.

"I remember him, I'm sorry for your lost, he was a good man and a great soldier." Janas gave a sad smile before thanking me, "I know this might come off a bit rude, so you don't have to answer if you don't want to...but even though I didn't know your brother well, we did talk a little about his life before Aegean. I'm surprised someone of your stature would still talk to him since his...you know."

"A bastard?" I nod my head, "This might come as a surprise m'lady, but not all of us think the same. He was my brother, we grew up together, and we shared the same blood even though my father refused to knowledge him. He was still my family." I gave sympathetic look at the pain in his voice.

"I meant no disrespect–" he shook his head.

"I know." He cleared his throat before squeezing his hands to his side, "My father has no use for me, I have four older brothers and two sisters. I refused to go to The Wall and pledge myself to the Night's Watch, so I ask you, my queen. If I can accompany you back to magonsæte and serve you and your husband as a knight." I look at him taken back.

"You do realize what you are asking for lord janas, you could bring dishonor to your family and be painted as a traitor–"

"If serving to protect you and your family makes me a traitor then so be it, I rather die a traitor protecting a ravishing woman like yourself than die in an icy secluded hellhole." My eyes widen and my face heats up a bit at his compliment before glancing away from him when he smiled coyly at me.

"Flattery won't get you anywhere, lord Janas." He let out a deep laugh making me look back at him.

"I don't know, my queen. The ladies back home say otherwise." He said hinting at the woman in question, I scoff with an eye roll as gave him a teasing smile.

"Whores would say anything for money, especially to a lord from a high standing." Janas made an "oof" sound as his hand went over to his heart making me shake my head.

"That hurts, my queen." I let out a chuckle before thinking about his request, he could be of use to me since he knows a bit about the man who's been sending others to take magonsæte from me.

"It will be an honor to have you join my royal guard, lord Janas. My people and I will be leaving morrow at dusk," He nods his head before holding his hand out for me to shake, I planted the knife into the wood of the table before wiping my hands on the apron. We shook hands after a second past we let go and he told me he will grab his stuff before coming back, I nodded before watching him walk away.

I look down at the dead animal before calling a servant to preserve it, my head turns after hearing a horse and saw baelor throwing a rock at the princess. I hurriedly took off the apron and made my way over to janas and baelor, I stalk towards him looking at him angrily. I shook my head at his words as he told me what happened, I did not believe his words knowing that the princess would not do such a thing. As he tried to plead his case, janas stepped in telling me what happened, baelor argued otherwise making me shush him and told him to go to the tent. When he tried to argue again I didn't want to hear it and snap at him to go, I watch as he stalk away before looking at Janas.

"Are you sure you're alright, I can have someone look at you." He shook his hand declining saying he was fine, I look at him for a moment before letting go.

I excused myself and went to the tent to see what had gotten into baelor to make him behave like that before I walked into the tent I looked down the pathway towards the king's tent to see viserys stumble out as he look up and down for someone. I narrow my eyes at him.

What the fuck did he do now, I thought.

I walk in to see baelor on the pile of pillows that were in the far back corner, I could see his body shaking slightly making me frown and worried. He finally moved his face from the cushion for me to see his wet face, I walk over to him before taking a seat, we were both quiet for a minute before I ask what happened. After, some pushing he finally told me what occurred between his father and sister.

I am not an angry person and there's already too much darkness in this world to be such a thing, but there have been two occurrences in my life that made me fervent. One was a long time ago with my old handmaid, Magatha, which didn't end well and now. I should have known better than to trust viserys to try to keep level-headedness with my son, that is on me, I had been more worried about not being the reason our family breaks apart knowing that jaehaerys wouldn't have wanted that he would have wanted viserys and baelor to bond to be a father and son.

But, no more I have kept my mouth shut and allowed him to do what he wishes, I allow him to take baelor in while the war was happening and have baelor visit every month. I even told baelor to forgive that little bitch about her comments against me, I can take being called names, fuck I'm used to them by now, but calling my son a bastard to his face and telling him such things you heard from your father is going to fucking far.

My eyes go over to my valyrian bastard sword, Dreamcatcher, maybe a little talk with the king and princess will do them some good. The sound of the party coming brought me out of my thoughts as I turn to them, I look back at my son with a reassuring look as I wipe his fave with my sleeves. I told him I will have a long hard talk with his father and sister to make sure something like this will never happen again. I kissed his head before getting up and walking over to the corner to put on the belt that has the sheath on it before sliding my sword inside.

"I'm going out for a walk," I said walking past the table.

"Don't be late for dinner," Valaena said looking at me and making me nod, I turn my eyes to my son giving him a comforting smile before leaving.

❧

I poked my head out of rhaenyra's tent to find her not there, I was planning on talking to her first since she has so much to say about me and my son why not confront her.

I really wanted to fuck her up, I thought to myself as I walk over to the king's tent. Before I could go in I was stopped by the guards, I told them I needed to see the king. One of the guards shook their head saying the king wasn't seeing anyone due to his "intense headache" making me roll my eyes, I turn my back to them glancing around before looking back.

"Well, once his over his hangover tell him I need to talk to him. It's about our son...." I told them I'll be over at the bonfire before walking away.

❧

The sun finally fell into the trees and the moon was hanging in the sky with all the stars, the wind blew gently against the trees and the fire that stood before me. My fingers twisted with the ring on my left hand as I was in deep thought, it had been standing out here. So long that my anger is subdued for now anyways, I hoped viserys got my message, what am I saying the guards probably didn't tell him anything, no one in these parts listens to me. I'm a joke to them. My neck jerked slightly making me drop my hands to my sides with a sigh.

His not coming, I thought.

I move to walk away from the blazing fire when I see viserys standing there looking at me, I furrow my brows looking at him oddly, he started to come closer making me step back a bit when stood in front of me. I look at him as he looks down at me, sudden a dream I had long months ago came back making me turn my head away from the fire.

"Please, don't say it. I already feel bad as it is." I side-eyed him seeing him see he was looking at the fire with a somber look.

"Imagine how my son feels." Viserys look at me with an exasperated look.

"I had too much to drink. I'm sorry–" I stopped him from continuing.

"Did you know that rhaenyra called baelor a bastard and told him, the only reason you want him around is that you pretend he baelor the younger?" I turn my body to look at him and I saw the guilt all over his face.

"So you knew...about all of it?" I questioned, the anger that I let go moments ago resurfaces as he nods his head.

"For fuck sake, viserys." I hissed looking away from him.

"Rhaenyra is still getting used to not being the only child, it is not her fault." I snap my head at him.

"Like hell it is. She is ten and eight picking on a child that she use to beg to hold not too long ago, and now she despises him." I move my hand to my mouth before taking it off, " How could you let this happen, how you could allow her to keep tormenting him? After, what she said." He looks at her with a look between guilt and anger.

"Do not look at me as if it is my fault if you didn't air out our business to the entire court out of spite. None of this would have happened." I look stare at him staggered, how dare he blame this on you, I thought.

"You think I did that out of spite of you." I walk up close making him look down at me, "I didn't do it because I was angry at you, viserys. I did it for me. I told my truth so everyone would know I wasn't some heartless whore who let some man impregnate me for the fun of it." I spit angrily as I stare up at him.

"I can never forgive you for what you did to me and your sorries won't take away the shame I bear, it won't take away the nightmares, or the touches and erase your smell from my senses." I shudder as my arms around my chest in dismay, viserys looking back at me with a frown.

"....I never meant to cause you so much...pain, rhaelle." he muttered, "I just wanted a son." I scoffed softly looking down at the patch of green grass, I slightly kicked the dirt under my feet.

"Well, you got what you wanted."

We stood there quietly nothing but the sound of the people in the distance, and the crickets and birds that surround us. I look up when he made a sound, he hesitated for a moment before saying what he needed to say.

"His bright our boy, sometimes when we talk I forget I'm talking to a child with how much knowledge he holds." I hummed in agreement while nodding.

"It feels like not too long ago he was babbling and crawling around, ignorant to the world outside the red keep," I stated thinking fondly about those days when everything felt normal.

"I wish I could stop thinking of him as mine and aemma's baelor, my fears of having to let him go so he wouldn't be affected by it. Seems like the only choice for him to be happy." I could tell the revelation that came over viserys pained him to say it, and as much as you want to agree you can't cause you know that baelor and viserys deserve to have a bond.

"When I was little jaehaerys told me the only thing that can tear down the house of the dragon was itself," viserys eyes lift to meet mine as he waits for me to continue, "And I wish not to be the one to do it, I can take the blame for baelor hating you and I'm making it up by forcing him to spend time with you."

"But, I can not do it alone, viserys. If you truly want a relationship with your son you must make some sacrifices, one being stop drinking around him." I emphasize the last sentence making him frown before nodding, "and the second is listening to your children, especially your daughter, if she feels like you're not hearing her, she will act out and baelor will be the one paying for it." Viserys sighs as he nods.

"I know and I will speak to her about her behavior as of late towards her brother, I promise." I nod, I was still going to have a small talk with the young girl but her father didn't need to know that.

"Good, so we agree no more drinking while baelor is visiting, right?" He nods making you give a satisfied look, "...alright, it is getting late and you must be getting some rest for the hunt tomorrow, so I wish you a goodnight, king viserys." I walk back slowly before turning away to walk away. I stop when he called my name making me turn back to him as he walk up close to me.

"I found something in your old chambers, and I hope to this as a truce between us..." I furrowed my brows as I watch him take something from his pocket, my heart crack a bit when I saw the little knitted bonnet I made for my child.

"It was stuffed in the corner behind the wardrobe, it still smells like her..." My eyes begin to water as I took the bonnet from his hand and held it between my fingers feeling the fabric, "I wanted to give it to you when you first came back, but..." He trailed off making me give a sad smile as I look at the bonnet in my hand.

"Thank you," I look up, and he nodded as he too stars at the bonnet, I could see his misty eyes cloud with sadness making me realize this was probably the only thing he had left of her too, "but I already have a token of her." I reach to my neck and pulled out a silver locket, I opened it to show a drawing of my daughter and a piece of dark hair stuck inside.

"You can hang on to it...if you like." Viserys looks up from the locket as I put the bonnet back in his hand, he gave me a grateful smile and held it tightly in his fist.

"The gods give just as the gods take away," I pause for a second at what viserys said, before closing my locket and putting it back inside my dress.

The gods had nothing to do with taking away my baby girl, I thought, but vengeful hands who underestimated my love for my children did.

❧

The next morning, I waited in rhaenyra's tent for her return, I sat on a chair as I flip through the pages of a book that was laying on the table across from her mirror. My eyes drifted up as the curtains to the tent were thrown aside by rhaenyra, I look at her with a raised eyebrow seeing her neck and chest covered in blood.

"What are doing in my tent? Who let you in." She asked as I abandoned the book on the table in front of me, I move out of the chair to stand.

"You said something to baelor to make him upset, I want you to apologize." Rhaenyra scoffed as she stepped further in with an indifferent look.

"Whatever he says is a lie. Now leave before I call my guards in here to have you removed." She moves making me move to block her way, she glances at me taking back at my movements.

"It seems you have a death wish, cousin." Rhaenyra snap.

"I can say the same for you, you little bitch." Rhaenyra's jaw dropped at my words.

"I have you completely gone mad? Have you forgotten who your talking to–" My hand went to her throat backing her into the table, she looked wide-eyed at me as her mouth gaped open.

"You call my son a bastard and I want you to apologize before that blood on you will become your own," Rhaenyra's small hand grasps my wrist as she tries to get my hand from around her neck.

"M-my father will have your head, whore." She struggles under my grip making her nails dig into my skin.

"You're not listening to me, so let me say it slower..." My hand tightens causing rhaenyra to grunt as she tried her best to pull my hand off of her, "I want you to get on your knees and beg for my son's forgiveness, and hopes he accepts because if he doesn't..." I took out my dagger and held it in the corner of rhaenyra's eye gently pressing the blade against her pale skin.

"I'll give you something truly to mourn and be pissed about, " rhaenyra watches me and the blade carefully, "So, now that I got your attention. What are you going to do."

Her face was twisted in a frown as she glare at me, I move the blade under her eyes and down her cheek.

"I wonder if the men of the seven kingdoms would still want you if you were missing a tongue and an eye, hmmm, " The sharp blade pressed against the flesh breaking the skin and causing a sprinkle of blood on her cheekbone, she tensed and clench her jaw.

"You will kill me over a word." I leaned my face close to her.

"I'll kill you for just looking at him funny, you have no idea what length I would go for my children, princess." I could see the uneasiness in her eyes making me smirk a bit, "Tick Tock, princess." She let out a disgruntled sound before opening her mouth.

"I'm sorry for calling baelor a bastard," she grits out, I loosen my hand off her throat and pulled her off the table.

"That wasn't so hard now was it, princess." The blade was put away making rhaenyra snarl at me after she pulled her hand away from her cheek to have her finger have a bit of blood on them.

"I leave at dusk so you will have until then to come up with a sincere apology for my son. Okay?" Rhaenyra just stared at me as I walk back to the spot that I crawled from to get in there.

"How about I just tell my father what you did to me," I turn to look at her.

"I won't stop you. I can't stop you. But, know this if you don't apologize to baelor before we leave, I'll tell your father about you and daemon's inappropriate alone time on the throne all those years ago." A mixture of shock and confusion appeared on rhaenyra's face.

"We did nothing–".

"Sure you didn't. But, he doesn't know that and your uncle does have a habit of taking things that don't belong to him, and besides who can ignore the looks you two give one another." That leaves rhaenyra dumbfounded and speechless, I smirk before bidding her goodbye and leaving from where I came.

❧

Rhaelle watches from her seat on the bench as rhaenyra and baelor talk from a distance, baelor looks reluctant while rhaenyra stood awkwardly as she talks to the boy. Rhaelle tilts her head to the side as she watches her son starts talking and something shifts between them, rhaenyra looks taken back at the young boy before baelor moves to wrap his arms around her waist making rhaenyra slowly do the same. Rhaelle hummed to herself happy, viserys soon walk out going over to the two siblings causing them to break apart.

Viserys looks to his daughter before looking at baelor, he said something before moving his arm out for baelor to walk ahead inside the tent. Rhaelle caught viserys eye giving him a small bow of her making the older man give a small smile before going inside to talk to baelor, rhaelle's eyes shifted over to rhaenyra to catch the young woman looking at her. Rhaelle raised her hand wiggling her fingers making rhaenyra scoff and turn on her heel to walk away, rhaelle smiled to herself as she make her hand fall to her lap. She soon got up and went inside to help pack up to head home, even though she didn't get the needed peace she wanted.

An hour or two passed, the tent was empty and everything was packed for travel, rhaelle was talking to banneth and vogero when baelor ran up to her clinging to her side. The two men walked away giving some time with the queen and her son, rhaelle smiled down at baelor and asked about the conversation with his father and sister.

"It went well, I'm still upset with the king, but rhaenyra and I found some common ground together." Rhaelle look down at him with a proud smile happy to hear such things, four huge carriages with engravings of house velfrey sigil on them came making the servants and knights start gathering up their stuff.

Rhaelle walked with her son still clinging to her hip when she was stopped in her tracks by baelor who looked into the opening of the woods.

"What is it, sweetie." She asked looking at him, he looks at her before looking at the woods again. She look where he was looking and saw a white stag standing there in the sunlight, she furrow her brows in awe at the beautiful creature.

"It's real," Baelor whispered making him look up at his mother with a grin as she look down at him with a puzzled look. They heard a crack and look back to where the stag was and it was gone as if it was never there.

Odd, rhaelle thought.

She pulled baelor along to the carriages where her people were waiting with viserys, alicent, rhaenyra, and otto.

"Thank you, again. King Viserys for the invitation I hope to have many more in the future," she said standing with her family and friends behind her.

"Of course and I hope you will do the same, I am curious to see the serpent islands. Maybe we can celebrate baelor's nameday there." He smiled looking down at his son before looking back at her, she nods with a kind smile.

"That's a great idea, my king."

Viserys and Rhaelle sensed the many eyes on them as they stood across from each other, viserys look at rhaelle as her eyes were looking at the servants putting things in the carriage.

"Safe travels, queen rhaelle." Rhaelle look back at viserys, she was shocked to hear him address her as queen but held it in.

"Thank you, cousin." Viserys held out his hand for rhaelle to shake, and she grasp his hand before shaking it.

Rhaelle moves to wish the queen and the other two goodbyes before removing her hand from viserys grip, rhaelle and her family bowed to the royal family making viserys and the others do the same. Rhaelle and her people piled into the carriages, as the door shut baelor and valaena waved out the window as the carriage moved to take them back to king's landing.

❧

I yawned rubbing my eyes as I finish the rest of my painting, after visiting King's Landing and Diftmark, I still had a ball of energy in me. I blew out the candles and walked out of my art room to wander down the halls of Stonehold, sometimes it baffles me how I, valaena velaryon, became a princess. I shook my head lightly as I traveled down a corridor with huge portraits of old kings and queens with their children on the wall, I stop for a moment to admire a portrait of thoros and his sister-wife, they look so youthful and happy, something you never imagine seeing in a married couple.

I continue down the hall, my mind shifting to my brothers, urging how I could kill those two, I know in my heart that they're still alive but my faith in them coming back soon is decaying and I wonder if he is still mad at me. I never told my mother this or anyone for that matter the reason me and Aeron stopped writing to each other, when I told Aeron of my marriage to boremund, he was livid and wrote me bunches of the letter telling me how bad the idea it just like my mother did.

But, I was stupid then I changed now that I understand, why my mother was against it. But, back then I was adamant about my decision, and some harsh words were exchanged as a result. I leaned against the wall, and the large windows that sat on the other side bathed me in the moonlight, I closed my eyes feeling my chest tighten. What if that was the last thing he read and his now on the beach covered in sand and crabs, and the last thing thought was that I hated him?

"...valaena?" I got off the wall and look up to see my mother in the distance, I sniff and realized I was in her part of the wing.

"My sweet girl, are you alright." She asked walking up to me in her nightgown, her hair was long passed her shoulders and she held a candlestick in her hand.

"I-I'm sorry, I must have got lost in my head and led me here, silly me." I watch as she gave me a worried look as she reach her warm hand to wipe at my cheek.

"Have you been crying, my dear?" I didn't have the strength to lie to her, so I nodded before glancing down at my bare feet.

"Come on, sweetie." She takes me by the hand and pulls me to her room, I look around at the decor in the room before being pulled to the fireplace where it looks like she has been sitting with a packet of letters and a ball of yarn.

"You couldn't sleep either." I look over at my mother as she took a seat in the armchair where her yarn was laying before she grabbed her wooden needles.

"Knitting gives me peace of mind before I go to bed, how about you why aren't you asleep yet? I know you have a busy day tomorrow?" She asked starting back knitting as I took a seat by her side before putting my left leg over my right.

"I couldn't sleep so I stood up to finish my painting, I have a lot on my mind," I whispered the last part making my mother glance at me before stopping what she was doing.

"You want to talk about it." I turn my head to her look at her, I could tell my mother had the world on her shoulders with threats of more wars to come for our new home, and the familiar feeling of not wanting to be a burden burn in my chest.

"It's nothing, mama. I just worry about the boys." A look of realization made it to my mother's face before she started knitting again.

"From what my letters say, the boys are fine still fighting that damn war, but fine." My eyes glance at the multiple letters on top of each other on the small table between the chairs, I move to pick up an envelope and saw the targaryen sigil, this was from daemon.

"When did you and daemon start writing to each other," I asked looking at my mother, she gave an annoyed look probably thinking about him.

"He writes to me." I raised my brow.

"And you don't write back?" She shook her head.

"Nope. Most of those letters in there are him telling me sweet nothings, while the others are updates on the war." I nod my head moving to get another envelope and opening it.

"How do you know which ones are love letters and which ones are not," I asked with a small smile making my mother kick my foot.

"The targaryen sigil in black is for an update, while the one is red ones are for 'my eyes only' " She made finger air quotes making me giggle, before taking a red sigil envelope and opening it.

My eyes scan the page expecting crude words spread across the letter but were met with sweet words that I never expect could come from the prince known as the rogue prince.

"By the gods, mother, these are beautiful," I look at her, but she didn't look at me as she shook her head slightly, she didn't look impressed.

"I never knew daemon to be such a poet," I say as I move to open a new letter to read, another heartfelt letter that speaks of memories on the beach with each other back at king's landing. I move to pick up another and another and another, before dropping my hands in my lap as I look at my mother.

"I don't understand how your not fawning over these...these are amazing, look what he wrote here...." My mother looks at me as I read out the words of her once-former lover, I look over at her when I finish seeing her staring at the fire, an air of melancholy surrounded her. My mother didn't tell me much of her and daemon's relationship only that they were friends who ended up in the most unforeseen affair.

"Why are you sad, mother? Do these make you miss him," I asked without thinking, my mother look at me with a mixture of emotions in her lilac eyes.

"These letters...make me angry and confused, because I do not know what his purpose in writing these is."

"It sounds like he declaring his love for you," I said looking down at the letter.

"If he wanted to declare his love for me, he would have ended this war a long time ago, he knows I know he can, I feel there is something else at foot." I shook my head at her and her paranoia, but I'm used to it when you have people trying to kill you and your family, and you begin to expect everyone to be out to get you.

"You're being paranoid, mother. For all you know, this is daemon's way of saying he wants to be with you again and..." she looks at me with furrowed brows, "I think you give him a chance." Her furrowed brows shot up near her hairline.

"Valaena, I am a married woman–"

"With multiple paramours, I know what you do in your free time when everyone else is busy. I have eyes." A look of guilt and fear wash over her making me put my hand over her own, "I'm not angry with you, thoros already told me the situation between you two before I started noticing." A faint look of relief passed through her eyes before it was replaced by worry.

"No, I can't. I made a promise long ago that I leave what we had in the past, and I will stick to that til the day that I die, the only important to me is my family and my kingdom." She stated I could tell that she was done talking about and meant what she said, but the thought of your mother not getting the love she deserves didn't feel right to you.

I moved to grab another letter, this one is a bit older than the other and longer, as we sat in silence and read over the letter. My eyes sparkle with an idea after reading what daemon wrote and from what mother said earlier, I glance at her from the corner of my eyes to see her yawning.

"Mama, can I sleep with you tonight, I don't feel like walking back to my chambers." My mother gave a bright smile before nodding.

"Of course, my love. I'm about to head to bed now, you coming." I shook my head making up an excuse and making her nod again, she picked up her yarn and needles putting them away before coming back over and kissing my hairline.

"Goodnight, my love."

"Night, mama," I said back watching her walk to her bed and get under the covers.

I waited a bit and when the sounds of her soft snoring came I got up and went over to her to double-check check, she was out before leaving the room. I headed to her mother's studies that were just down the hall from her chambers, I slipped in before lighting a candle to see. I went over to her desk pulled out a parchment from her bottom drawer and dip the quell into the ink in front of me. I look down at the blank parchment thinking, what would her mother say to daemon, my hand moved as I wrote on the paper. When I was finished I reread my work back to me, after I thought it was convincing enough I found it and put it in an envelope. I used the sigil for our house to stamp it to keep the envelope close.

I quickly walk out to tie it to a raven before sending it off, I made it back to my mother's chambers quietly before gently getting into bed next to her. Now, all I have to do is hope that daemon takes the bait and ends this war.

@beggarsnotchoosey @cleverzonkwombatsludge @green-lxght @stormgirlfriendd @supermassiveblackhope

[eccentric-nucleus]

covid stuff

the last several years have really done a number on my emotional wellbeing. like i would have already said on the whole i tend to be a fairly unhappy person but it's definitely gotten substantially worse with covid. basically every time i go out there are these waves of sadness and anger that just kinda wash over me continually. it's not great.

i don't really like being around people. when i was a kid i got yelled at a lot for, like, not wanting to go to the babysitter's, not wanting to spend time around other people, not really wanting to be in any kind of position where i could be observed by other people. there was a lot of, you know, "listen everybody has to deal with other people sometimes, and part of existing in society is not making things an enormous hassle for other people". yeah yeah plenty of stuff makes you miserable but it is genuinely not the responsibility of other people to restructure their whole lives around whatever upsets you; sometimes you have to just suck it up and deal for the overall good of, like, society. sure. it feels like i am constantly tolerating a lot of things for the good of society

and then covid hits, and it becomes clear that nobody really meant that, not really. i learned the lesson wrong and thought the point was 'for the good of society' and not 'people should never be expected to restructure their lives'. oh, right, it was always about normality all along. if keeping things normal requires hassling some introverted kid, then we gotta hassle that kid. if keeping things normal requires millions dying and who-know how many getting serious, still-unknown long-term medical issues from a plague, well, that's just a cost we'll have to pay. i'm kind of furious every single time i go into a building and i see nobody wearing masks. it's the smallest fucking thing but this vast confluence of habit and pressure means that oh i guess even that was too much to ask.

like a little personal information, i guess: literally every single time i have gone outside in the past four years i have been wearing a mask. it's been annoying! i got pressure bruises on my nose several times! i'm really lucky i don't actually have some job that requires me to interact with people for 8 hours of the day, b/c then i'd have to have figured out something that doesn't wear away at the flesh of my nose longterm. wearing a mask kinda sucks, actually. it's still such a small fucking thing to do and it has such a well-documented impact on transmission rates

it's not like covid went away! covid is going to be around for the rest of human history! waves will come and waves will go, and it's still mutating furiously, & all we can really hope for at this point is that at some point, uh, probably in the next hundred years, it spreads to a form that doesn't give people organ damage. another huge scientific breakthrough that manages to kill off the common cold would be okay too, i guess.

just... seeing all of society go laser-focused on pretending things are fine and nobody needs to go out of their way to mitigate risk or accomodate other people just seems deeply and utterly grotesque. a profound and utter abandonment of any sense of morals or ethics, just to keep things Normal.

so yeah covid on the whole has made me a much more unhappy person. i go through this whole train of thought basically every single time i step outside, which is probably unhealthy. but that's how it is

[raigash]

Just For The Day

[Inky Depths Masterlist]

Pascal and Rose content for the first time in a little while! Their story needs a bit of restructuring, but I wanted to write a new taste of them before I got to work editing the old. TWS for intimate whumper, victim blaming, and the most prominent- fever/illness whump! I hope you guys enjoy!

There are ghosts swimming in the shadows, and for the life of her, Rosalind cannot figure out what it is they want from her. Wispy clouds of pitch black dance along the baseboards of this haunted home, and she can hear their whispers. Can feel their frozen fingertips reaching ever closer to her heated skin.

Her world feels like it’s on fire, and freezing over, all at the same time. Everything hurts. Every breath she fights to take feels Sisyphean as her chest flutters and collapses within seconds of each inhale. The rough fibers of the study’s carpet dig into her exposed skin, reminding her just how exposed she truly is.

She doesn’t even remember when the bedroom melted away into the study. She barely remembers making it there from the dining room table before that. Time has been a fickle keeper these last few….days? Hours? Seconds?

She doesn’t know. And that, in and of itself, is a problem.

Her mouth is dry. It has been since that awful tasting liquid was held to her lips, and she was forced to swallow the bitterness down in shuddering gulps. The pressure behind her eyes has eased some since, but her shoulder still screams in agony that refuses to be quelled. Is it bleeding, still?

She shivers, unable to feel a difference between untouched skin, and that which has been carved by Pascal’s fury. Everything hurts, right now. Every old wound rising from the depths of her mind feels brand new as her body screams in pain that it cannot escape. For good reason, apparently.

That thought keeps surfacing as the waves of fever crash over her again and again. Keeps digging claws into her and forcing her to remain alert through the torment. She was here for a reason. This was all happening for a reason.

That reason does little to soothe the nausea, but it keeps her from giving into exhaustion’s pull. What right does she have to sleep? To rest? To reprieve? This was her doing.

This was her penance.

The Study door does not squeak when it opens- she has taken too much care in her duties to allow that. Still, though, she hears the change, and with Herculean effort, she lifts her head from the floor.

Save me. Heal me. Remake me.

Words bounce around her head in fervent spirals, cascading thoughts and pleas and condemnations all splintering into nonsense before dissolving back into the dark, and being given new form. She is lost in this darkness, in this sweltering abyss from which she cannot escape. And she looks to this artificial lamplight in the absence of the sun’s warmth.

There are words, but they are… garbled, at best. She squints to try to get a better view, and her world spins violently- so much so that she whimpers as her head drops back to the floor. Everything hurts.

The garbled sounds continue even as she feels icy fingers trailing up her back, touch gentle, but searing. Maybe these are her ghosts. Maybe that’s why they taunt her so. Maybe they are gifting her back the memory stolen from her by time.

Pascal draws closer to the shivering form on the floor, face set in a frown as she remains unresponsive. She is bare, save for a pair of tacky sweatpants that he keeps for times when things may get messy. The tepid wound festering on her shoulder blade certainly qualifies for the occasion.

She shivers, face burrowed into the carpet as though it’s a pillow. Her skin is soaked with sweat, and her breaths come in ragged puffs. This shouldn’t be happening. He has never had something like this happen before, in all his years. And this is far from the first time he’s done a carving in this manner.

He has a feeling it is more than a simple infection, but either way, he may have to procure a physician to assist in getting her back on her feet. He is not losing his prized paragon. Not like this.

Pascal crouches beside her, then, examining her closer as he brushes a hand through her sweat soaked hair. It needs combing, but he supposes it’s fine given the circumstances. A small noise of worry, followed by another attempt of lifting her head, is the response Rosalind is able to give.

He takes pity on her as he watches her neck begin to falter, and cups her cheek in his hand, supporting her head. Her foggy gaze falls just below his cheekbone, just as it should. Her skin is practically on fire, and his expression twists further into one of worry.

He’ll need to find someone fast

Without wasting time explaining, he scoops his little songbird up easily. The sudden change in elevation startles her, and she cries out, only to be shushed back into miserable silence. She is carried from the study, down the hallway, and into the master bedroom. The sheets feel prickly against her skin as she is laid atop them, but less so than the floor. It is a miracle she recognizes where she is enough to be utterly confused.

It must show on her face as she nestles deeper into the uncomfortable embrace of satin, because Pascal answers her with a hum, and a hand though her hair once more. “Just for the day. Don’t get used to it, little dove.”

He leaves her there, then, without another word, and closes the door behind him. Alone, Rosalind closes her eyes and drifts in the tumultuous sea of existence.

[seeingteacupsindragons]

Random ask, do you have any books (eastern or western) or manga/manhwa that inspire your writings?

An interested question about my writing?

Anyway, yes, obviously. Why do you think I write meta? It's so I can learn from things I like to figure out how they're written and what various pieces do, so I can consider how I might do them myself.

What pieces inspire what works depends, of course. I have a series of short stories that are pretty heavily inspired by JR--I don't think anyone who's read both hasn't seen the connection. They're very soft, gentle short stories about two men traveling around and solving domestic emotional problems and their magic is a blatant allegory for queerness.

And then one of the projects that's on hold until I can finish up the revisions I'm currently working very hard on is inspired partially by wanting to write a character dynamic similar to Sherliam's, "I saw you and you knew me, because the things about me that I thought kept me isolated were reflected in you." Like, the characters are a couple of disabled teenage musicians, not criminals or detectives, and they're not even rivals, but that vibe is something I wanted to capture specifically. And the much of the rest of the book is inspired by my job: I don't read books for work, but I came to terms with how much less I read these days than I used to when I remind myself I spend almost my entire day job reading things about a couple of very rare diseases and medications, and I've learned so much about them and the experiences they come with that they've filtered into my writing now.

The current project I'm working on, I don't know that I would say is directly inspired by any particular work. It's been a long time writing it and working on it and it's been very much a recovery project for me and a rebuilding of who I am as a writer and how I write as I pull myself out of a horrific writing crash. It doesn't have any strong particular elements from any specific thing like I mentioned above, but a lot of what I've learned over the last few years have gone directly into it in other ways.

Anyway, I think finding inspiration for your own art in art you love is vitally important. That art resonated with you for some reason, so of course it makes sense to radiate that back out--it matched some frequency of your soul, and your soul sends frequencies out in your own art. Finding a frequency of your heart you know and recognize can be a great thing to use.

Of course, there were some very Formative influences from when I was younger and still inventing my own writing style that stick around in some form or another. Zelazny's refusal to explain anything and trust the reader a little too much is the one I recognize most easily, but there are others.

And I think...I think YuuMori may have changed me fundamentally as a writer. I think about stories not completely differently, but in many emphasized and changed ways because of it. It's very different and its strengths are ones I've not often been drawn to, and it's so easy for me to pick apart and evaluate, and something I'm so impressed by, during a time period when I really needed to restructure my entire process and conceptualize stories, that...I think that's going to stick with my fundamentally for a long, long time. I'll write stories that don't look anything like it, I think, but the way it changed me as an artist will still be there, I think.

[narrativedisorder]

the only reason climate change is a "wicked" problem is because of the constraint we have put on the solution: that it not require us (the relatively wealthy of the world) to change our lives in any significant way.

That is why we keep getting stories about plastic-eating bacteria and carbon capture and planting a billion trees, anything that will take care of it at let the rest of us continue as we are. Not that we shouldn't be doing those things; at this point, we'll need them anyway. But we KNOW how to stop, or slow climate change. We just don't want to. and by "we", yes I mostly mean the very rich, corporations, major industry. But we are all complicit and over-comfortable. That's why we create and cling to those technology myths. (See: Peeters, Paul; James Higham; Diana Kutzner, Scott Cohen; Stefan Gössling; "Are technology myths stalling aviation climate policy?", Transportation Research Part D: Transport and Environment, Volume 44, 2016, Pages 30-42).

The problem we need to solve isn't "How do we slow/eventually stop climate change?" It's "How do we support vulnerable people through the drastic societal changes that will slow our environmental damage to reasonable levels?"

It's not even a $ issue, given how absurdly wealthy the major offenders are. But I'll admit it's a fairly wicked set of problems to figure out, e.g., how to make it possible for people to live where there is literally nothing non-residential in walking distance without a car. Would it make sense to requisition a house every couple of blocks and turn it into a grocery store/low-key restaurant/community kitchen? set up bike relays for the people who don't qualify for emergency vehicle use?

Or, to take another: restructuring global trade so that vital non-local goods, like medicines and medical technologies, get through under the new far more restricted means of transport, while things like plastic garfield phones do not. this is how we have squandered our times of plenty.

In any case, there is plenty of money, these problems are solvable, if interesting (and certainly not cookie-cutter, will need strong local leadership). There is no impossibility here but those we have made for ourselves.

Of course, the problem we've ended up needing to solve instead is: how do we make this happen against the selfish interests of the rich and powerful in a society where we value wealth, power, and individual incentives over health, creativity, and planetary well-being?

(reposting a twitter thread from a year ago)

[void-botanist]

🖊 for anyone in the fourth android? :0

Oh boy that's so many options. I changed my mind at least five times about who to talk about, because I'm thinking about at least five of them at every moment. But I finally settled on Anni.

As I'm restructuring the beginning of TFA I'm adding in more scenes with her, which I'm happy about, even though I keep second guessing how good I am at writing from her POV. But I enjoy writing about her putting on her headphones (they're cool headphones with light-up stripes) and one of her like twenty curated playlists and getting in the coding zone. Approaching fictional android problems with the same kinds of strategies and frustrations that I have when I code. And having an excellent dynamic with her primary coworker at the bookstore, Urma (they/them), who is a (human) cryptid with a taste for this world's equivalent of any peach-flavored alcohol and the daily newspaper crossword (for solving, not imbibing). Anni spends a lot of time with Zel in this book, obviously, and I'm slowly figuring out how to show what their dynamic is, partly by showing everything around it (family, friends, jobs, etc.). And I am so excited for when I eventually get to the point of writing Anni having "gossip hour" with her older sister Halli (she/her) and younger brother Brandon (he/they) when she goes home for solstice. After a day's happenings they can all pile into someone's bedroom and speak of their dark secrets, such as "do you know where they store the solstice lights the rest of the season???" (Bran knows. He works for the city) and "I think I'm getting serious about Zel. should I be getting serious about Zel? is Zel getting serious about me?? is it too soon to ask??? Halli you're engaged please advise me how to gay correctly????" (Halli is engaged. in a beautiful t4t sapphic romance. and betrothed too I guess).

Also, I remembered that in an earlier draft of TFA it was important to the plot that Anni used to be really into cosplay, because Dez swiped some of her stuff to attempt to pass as human while he ran away. I kinda want to explore that side of her even though I don't think it's super directly relevant to this draft of TFA. Did the cosplay stuff just sort of fade into the background because she got into other stuff? Did she get frustrated with it for some reason? Did Bran do duo costumes with her all the time and were they always extremely cute? (That one is obviously a yes.) I also wonder what kinds of cosplays she would do. It's probably the one area of her life where she dresses in colors that are not primarily blue. Maybe she got into cosplay because of Bran, who got into it because he wanted an excuse to dress up and look cool, and Halli could connect him with her community theatre friends for sharing/making costume pieces. Anni and Bran used to play her favorite MMO together, but while Anni wants to play the game more or less as intended, with all the grinding and gearing and guilds that entails, Bran just wants to take in the world, find some shiny rocks, and do every possible sidequest (thinking about it in Breath of the Wild terms: "yeah it would be tough but I bet I could do a no Beasts speedrun" vs. "the Stone Talus on the Great Plateau is the most breathtaking and terrifying thing I've ever seen in my life. What do you mean there's 29 more"). So it was fun until he started being chronically underleveled and kind of lost interest in the game. So then they started cosplaying to have something related to do together? (I should clearly write more of these character rambles because I'm figuring stuff out.)

Anyway, Anni is fun, and I need to get her talking to Julian more and figure out what she knows about sailboats.

[madmaryholiday]

Uh-oh girlies (gender neutral), this might be one of those "don't leave me alone with my thoughts" kind of nights.

I can't quite pin down the source of the feeling, but I just feel gross and sad.

I'm hydrated, I ate a protein-packed dinner, I showered, I've brushed my teeth, and I'm not in noticeably more pain than usual. I think I have most of the physiological side of things covered.

Maybe it's work stress? A supervisor who theoretically will be out of a job soon thanks to management's "restructuring" admonished me for talking to a coworker for too long right after I started my shift today. "You can't be doing that" and "when you clock in you should be ready to work" and the enigmatic "that's why these changes are happening."

I was extremely offended by what I read as the implication that I was slacking off, because I am a goddamn professional, but I was also just bewildered by the sudden comments.

I asked the coworker I'd been talking to if the supervisor had talked to her, too, and she said he hadn't, which just made me MORE confused. You'd think he would want to follow up with the other half of the too-long conversation, right?

But later, I remembered that when the supervisor came up to me, he opened with a comment about my "earbuds."

For reference, we're not allowed to wear headphones on the warehouse floor for safety reasons. People still do sometimes, and it's something I do actually want management to crack down on because, well, safety.

But I was wearing reusable ear plugs, NOT earbuds, and I popped one out to show him.

And THAT was when he said I'd been talking to my coworker for too long.

Which leads me to believe that, upon realizing he couldn't bust me for a significant infraction, he decided to redirect his desire to reprimand me to something harder to defend against.

Which is gross, and not something I had previously expected him to do, but the whole vibe of the interaction was so fucking weird that i don't know how else to explain it.

It also threw me off for the rest of the day, so....

Yeah, I think I figured out why I feel so off tonight. I know I need to get better at not taking shit personally, but that specific "you are not working hard enough" implication really fucks me up. I do my goddamn best every goddamn day, and I pride myself on the quality of my work. (Tbh I work way harder than management deserves, but I honestly just can't turn off my inner quality control.)

Idk, man. Work is still a shitshow, though I do finally know who I'm supposed to report to now. And like Everything Else, it's making it harder to deal with any given thing.

At least I have therapy tomorrow, I guess.

[themculibrary]

Loki/Mobius Masterlist 2

part one

A New Reality (ao3) - kickcowsE, 39k

Summary: Loki finds himself stuck in a new branch of reality, and seeks guidance from the one person he knows will help him - Mobius. 

A Well-Made Mistake (ao3) - Springandastorm loki/mobius, valkryie/sylvie M, 36k

Summary: The existence of the Sacred Timeline is predicated upon the divine judgement of the Time-Keepers, untangling the threads of everything that could happen until they've decided what does happen. 

Things don't always go according to their plan, though.

Something seemed to dawn on Loki, his eyes widening slowly. "Tell me we aren't where I think we are, Mobius."

"Where do you think we are?"

"...Sakaar?"

"In that case, I can't tell you we aren't where you think we are."

Borrowed Faith (ao3) - kcscribbler T, 2k

Summary: Decades into his quest for a solution to the impending Loom meltdown, Loki begins using a Memory Cell to give himself an occasional, brief respite from the chaos.

He Speaks Daggers (ao3) - oprime, zerospoons_onlyknives (oprime) E, 59k

Summary: “Come on. I’m terrible with this.”

Mobius waves the dagger around wildly as if to prove his point.

“That’s why you need to practice.” Loki steps forward, ducking under the swinging arc of the dagger, to adjust Mobius’s grip on the hilt. “Stop holding it like a toddler.”

“You give knives to toddlers!?”

“It’s a dagger and I got my first one when I was two and a half.”

“Yeah, and your upbringing is the standard by which all should be measured.”

OR

Loki commits to teaching Mobius self-defense and gets a little more than he bargained for. (An alternate take on S2:E2 just for fun.)

like vines we interwined (ao3) - thumbbird E, 8k

Summary: “This isn’t a game,” he said, catching his breath.

Mobius coughed. His eyes crinkled and his hand squeezed Loki’s shoulder. “No, but I’m having fun anyway.”

Loki huffed. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You love it,” Mobius said with a weak smile.

(Or the one where Loki and Mobius track a variant to a planet full of killer plants and one of them decides to make Mobius its next meal… unless Loki can figure out how to free him).

Misaligned (ao3) - thunderously_halo T, 2k

Summary: After fixing his time slipping issue with Mobius, Loki isn't quite aligned with time. He refuses to rest and suffers the consequences.

Miserable Lonely Life (ao3) - art_ro_vert G, 1k

Summary: “He is in love with you," Sylvie said suddenly, ruining the comfortable silence that hung between them. She placed her mug on the table with a loud thud, catching Mobius’ attention and making him look up from where he was sitting across the table.

“What?”

“Loki!” Sylvie specified helpfully. “He is in love with you!” she stated louder this time, with desperation in her voice like she was declaring the truth that everyone had been ignoring for years.

Nail your colors to the mast (ao3) - TheMissingMask N/R, 26k

Summary: Mobius talks to a Loki he knows will never come back. Sometimes he gets an answer.

Post-S2 fix-it

of glory and goddesses (ao3) - loosethreadsofyoursoul T, 35k

Summary: “We’re no longer destined to lose.” Sylvie's voice is just a whisper, but Loki hears her despite the chaos around them trying to drown her out. “Don’t you want to know who you could be? Don’t you want the chance to live a story you can write?”

-

When the Loom is destroyed, Loki isn't the one to replace it. Instead he's left to deal with the aftermath in the form of a restructured TVA, a frazzled analyst, and a blank space where his own glorious purpose used to be.

On a Wing and a Prayer (ao3) - lydiagwilt T, 33k

Summary: The words spilled out unbidden, before Mobius had time to think about what he was doing or what the implications might be. Heyr þessi prayer ek pray, loki trickster, fire, ok vinr, hvere þú eru haileð með love…

Mobius had never thought of himself as religious, not really; but now that his faith in the Timekeepers had been shattered, he found he desperately needed something – someone – to believe in.

He believed in Loki. He always had.

Or, Mobius is imprisoned by a sinister alternate TVA and prays to Loki for help. Loki hears him.

Queer Eye for the Sad Suburban Guy (ao3) - mistbored T, 13k

Summary: The Queer Eye crew are on their latest mission to help yet another person in need. Don is a down-on-his-luck dad who is having trouble adjusting to some big life changes recently. He also might be suffering from hallucinations, but it’s hard to say for sure….

Reacclimate (ao3) - blackbirdofasgard G, 1k

Summary: Everyone—B-15, Casey, and O.B.—had been so excited to see Loki back in their company, beyond relieved that their plan had worked. But seeing that Loki needed more time to adjust, they'd returned to the TVA, leaving him to Mobius, who patiently waited while Loki stood there and took in everything he'd been missing for so long.

After Loki is released from the heart of the multiverse tree, he takes some time to appreciate everything around him. Even the less-than-perfect things.

Six Feet Closer (ao3) - lonelyhourglass47 T, 11lk

Summary: Loki and Mobius get stuck in quarantine together for a minimum of two weeks. Loki likes to mess with Mobius. They both have repressed feelings for each other.

Or, five times Loki falls asleep in Mobius' bed and one time Mobius asks him to.

the absence of green (ao3) - pinkpeachtea T, 135k

Summary: Mobius didn't like the color green anymore. It should have been silly, really, but he couldn't help it. It was enough to go outside, see the grass and the trees, to be reminded of Loki. But it didn't even start, or end, there.

——— Or, Mobius tries to build a life for himself and move on. That is until Loki randomly shows up at his doorstep one day and asks for his help. But helping Loki means assisting him in leaving Mobius again and Mobius isn’t sure if he can handle another missed goodbye.

Too bad Loki has to stay at Mobius’ place until they figure things out.

the end is where we start from (ao3) - Insert_Witty_User_Name_Here G, 6k

Summary: It’s cold at the end of time. Not technically. It’s not technically anything at the end of time. It’s not warm, not cold. There’s no day and no night, no changing of seasons. But it feels cold. Loki can’t quite explain why.

It’s a cold that seeps into every fiber of his being until eventually… he’s numb. Which is easier, he supposes, in a way.

Or Loki loses himself to the stories of Yggdrasil. Luckily, Mobius and Sylvie are there to bring him back. A post season two reunion fic.

Time Passes, Come Closer Now (ao3) - rumblebee M, 50k

Summary: Mobius M. Mobius goes on a little adventure with unexpected results.

Loki laments and gets into interior design.

Both of them spend too much time remembering.

time will pass, darling (but my feelings, they won't) (ao3) - burnthatbridge M, 15k

Summary: Loki looks down and Mobius sees his throat move as he swallows around the pain of what he has to stay. “I need to go now.”

Mobius tightens his grip on Loki’s forearms, wants to rail against it, to refuse to let him go. But he knows he can’t. Or he could, but it would make no difference. Loki has to do this and is committed to, that is clear from every line of him: resolve and resignation in equal parts.

So instead, Mobius wraps Loki in his arms once more, this less crushing embrace and more holding hug, and says, “Just come back.”

Loki squeezes him once, whispers, “I will,” close to his ear, and then he’s gone, Mobius left holding onto nothing.

A year's worth of time passes before Mobius sees Loki again.

Two Beating Hearts (ao3) - Ficus98 T, 56k

Summary: There was something about Loki.

Maybe it was those green eyes, or his silver-tongue that helped him slip out of trouble. Maybe it was his undying strength that seemed to never leave him no matter what horrors he had to endure, but when Mobius first met him in that prison, he felt something in himself.

Would it be enough to break Loki out and help him heal? And even if that were possible, could Loki recover from what he’d gone through?

While Loki battles his way back to health, Mobius finds himself battling his own feelings.

While You Were Sleeping, I Fell In Love (ao3) - 19960821 T, 2k

Summary: “Your place or mine?” Loki asked casually as they reached the elevator.

Mobius flushed a deep pink, his brain short-circuiting at the implication of how people usually used those words together in a sentence.

Loki was quick to notice this, and he smiled mischievously. Mobius kicked himself internally for being so obvious. He would never hear the end of this.

...

Or Loki and Mobius nap together for the first time in Mobius' bed.

(You Made It Feel Like) Home (ao3) - imalivegrace G, 16k

Summary: Don didn't know the man that stood in his shop, but he wanted to learn everything about him. Something inside of Don told him he could trust this mystery man.

or

When the timelines are saved and no one has to be a tree, Mobius gets sent back to his timeline. He has no memories of the TVA, waking up as if it's just a regular day in the life of Don Lewis Jet Ski salesman and single father. Don Lewis's life becomes a bit more exciting when a mysterious man starts to show up at his work.

[daydreamerdrew]

Comics read this past week:

Marvel Comics:

the Wolverine stories in Marvel Comics Presents (1988) #76-84

These stories were published across March 1991 to June 1991, according to the Marvel Wiki. This was chapters 4 through 12 of Logan’s Weapon-X backstory. All were written and drawn by Barry Windsor-Smith. Each of the stories was 8 pages, except for the last one, which was 24 pages.

The narration of the opening panel of the chapter in issue #76, which is drawn from the perspective of the Weapon-X employees looking down on the confined and unconscious Logan’s face, reads: “Create a monster. Terrible knives. Mutant! Beast… Once a man. But scored to the bone. Claws! Still human. Mindless. Restructured. Murdering. Trained. Animal!” This functions as a summary of most of the themes so far.

In this story is the beginning of Weapon-X’s attempts to brainwash Logan. It’s referred to that “His brutish impulses being greatly exaggerated since the adamantium bonding” and it is advised that Logan shouldn’t be addressed by his “former name” as “We’re trying to eradicate that stuff.” The controlling/suggesting commands made to him begin with “You are a beast- You are an animal born to serve!” Logan is also told, “You have no will but to serve me!”

Logan is unconscious for most of the story. In a convenient science fiction tool, the screen on which is meant to be depicted the commands being given to Logan instead show “internal feedback,” of which “The imaging is so powerful… It’s burning circuits!” The extent to which Logan is still a person- despite the dehumanization used to excuse and shape his treatment- inherently, naturally rebels, even when he is incapable of physically doing anything that all.

Though he has physically fully-healed, the screen shows Logan as the raw, still reforming gore-y state he was soon after the adamantium fusing to his bones. This anguished figure screams in pain, expresses horror about what’s been done to him, and fantasizes about killing the man he was told is his master. At the end of the chapter it is being argued that he is a “beast” and “wild animal” that must be killed.

In the chapter in issue #77 we see a test of Logan’s fighting capabilities in which he is made to fight starved wolves. The first page of the story juxtaposes a panel of one of the wolves open, focused eyes over a panel of Logan, eyes closed and with a restful expression and posture, covered in cords that monitor him and blood, which is soon explained to be sheep’s blood that was purposely put on him to attract the wolves (as opposed to what a reader may have first assumed, blood he drew and covered himself in through fighting).

Despite the fact that the testers know that Logan can hear the wolves, he initially experiences no heartbeat/pressure/adrenal rise and doesn’t react at all when they charge at him, making it seem like he’s not even alive. Not until the wolves are eating him does Logan finally extend his claws and fight back. The professor exclaims, “Listen to that feral roar! The bloodlust!” Another scientist corrects, “I think it’s pain.”

Logan is described as “beyond human” and “far more bestial than those he’s slaughtering!” Right after this one employee raises the idea of saving the animals, which is dismissed, because the professor is “enjoying this far too much.” The professor then projects onto Logan, claiming that Logan was not crying out in pain earlier, but instead “The wolves kill for food… or territory perhaps- But this man- this living weapon… His passion is the fear of his prey… and to relish in the odor of the blood!” And he justifies, “Despite his original protestations… I know we’ve done him a great favor. His most bestial needs… are about to exceed his most primitive dreams.”

In the story in issue #78 there is a moment where Logan is being controlled by levers and as he’s made to walk forward it’s noted “how the naturalist movements imitate the human.” And the system is described as, “When the power’s on, you’ve got him by the tail… When it’s off- like now- he’s just dead meat.”

At the end of the story in issue #79 Logan, who was described earlier as “imbecilic” because of how the adamantium bonding effected him, goes from sitting still to suddenly attacking the technicians working on him. A scientist immediately assumes that it is the professor, who had talked earlier about wanting to test Logan against a man and not just animals, making this happen and calls him a “maniac.” In the story in issue #80 it’s made clear that Logan hasn’t actually broken free, but is being controlled by an unknown person that the professor has secretly been working for, and is being used to clean up Weapon X by killing everyone, including the professor. However, it’s revealed in the story in issue #84 that none of this was real. Despite the story being told almost entirely from the perspective of the scientists, this part was all a simulation they were putting Logan through to teach him some kind of lesson. This feels like a cheap twist to me.

It’s not completely implausible to have Logan experience a simulation from their perspective- there’s an emphasis on Logan’s overall time at Weapon X feeling like a dream and dreams can be strange like that. And the writing of Logan’s mental state in the story in issue #84 as he’s reckoning with what he is really at the end of the simulation strong. But I think the justification for why they would do this to him is really weak. The story ultimately ends with Logan actually breaking free of his mental control and heading to attack his tormentors, and then cuts to after that’s all done and he’s wandering through the wilderness alone. I think that this bait-and-switch muddles with the portrayal of Logan’s torture, that he went in and out of awareness of, as like strange dreams, and then his experience later in life of being affected by a trauma he doesn’t remember.

In the story in issue #83, when we are still in the simulation and not in reality, the professor is portrayed as shocked that Logan is still coming after him even though the equipment attached to his body was all destroyed in the professor’s attempt to burn him to death. He exclaims, “You’re still transmitting to him-! Controlling a corpse! A walking dead man!” Logan asks, “Am I… dead? Is that what you… Done to me? Dead? Walk-ing dead man? Am I?” Logan ends up declaring to him that he is Logan and that he is a man, not an animal. I really like the concept of Logan as a “walking dead man” and wish it was real within the story.

The prologue of this story in issue #72 opens with Logan’s life he escapes from Weapon X, intersected with panels of the Weapon X staff members before Logan is brought into the project and flashbacks from Logan’s perspective of the torture they would/did put him through. This was a strange effect. It was confusing to me to start after the events of the story the reader hasn’t learned about yet, and initially made the flashbacks to Logan’s trauma come across as prescient flash-forwards to me.

Logan’s narration over all this talks about his feelings as he’s haunted by that experience he’s repressed and doesn’t consciously remember: “I’ll get away… from…. what’s comin’. Yuh… do that… get… away.” He describes, “Ever felt like a rat? In a trap? Or… whaddaya call those things? Pinwheels or something? Like you’re runnin’ for you life… but you’re gettin’ nowhere…” This is clearly about Logan’s experience when he was trapped by Weapon X and being experimented on, regenerating from his physical injuries but not able to escape. This also describes a common format bad dreams can take. Logan continues, “Just… nowhere… ‘cept the edge… of the dark! And th’ dreams… of death… in the shadowed rooms… of the Prophecy!” The Prophecy being the name of the place where Logan is living at that time.

In the story in issue #82, still in the simulation, when Logan looks at the body of one of the scientists who had been working on him, he thinks, “I… know this man… In a memory. Of a dream. A dream of… dying.” And at the end of the story in issue #84, as Logan is wandering the wilderness, overlaid is narration of a conversation between two Weapon X employees before everything went wrong. That scientist who Logan recognized justified his participation in Logan’s torture by saying, “I dunno about forced, Hines. See, if you listen to the Professor… It’s like… this is all kind of pre-ordained. It’s like Logan’s destiny or something. […] Some guys- they got the worst destinies, y’know?”

I was also really interested in the way Logan’s memory issues and dehumanization parallel his backstory in Wolverine: The Origin (2001), which is about when Logan’s mutation first developed. In that story Logan’s mutation is triggered in him as a child by a traumatic experience, and afterwards he’s very mentally out-of-it. He doesn’t remember his name or understand the situation he’s in. This is like the “brutish impulses” caused by the negative mental affect the adamantium-fusing has on him. He has to be guided and over the years afterwards he starts to function more normally, but meanwhile is becoming more at one with nature. This all culminates to when he finally remembers on the cusp of adulthood what happened that caused his powers to develop. And there is very similar language used in the story that Logan is an animal and not human.

Sgt. Fury and his Howling Commandoes (1963) #28-33

These issues were published across January 1966 to June 1966, according to the Marvel Wiki. Issue #28 was written by Stan Lee. Issues #29-33 were written by Roy Thomas. And all of the issues were penciled by Dick Ayers and inked by John Tartaglione.

In issue #28 the Howlers work with civilians to liberate a French town. While they’re going over the plan, one of the civilians recognizes another as a spy that had betrayed them earlier to the Gestapo and attacks him, making the two of them tumble over into water. After neither of them resurface Nick jumps in after them, thinking, “It wuz a personal fight for that kid… so I gave ‘im his chance! But I still got a mission ta worry about!” The spy managed to escape, but Nick saves the other from drowning. This leads to a dramatic moment where the French teenager says, dying from his injuries, “I… should have let you… tackle him!! They say… one should never send a boy… to do a man’s job!! I… I am sorry.”

In issue #29, while he’s fighting Baron Strucker, Nick gives the order to Reb to pass along to the other guys to evacuate the town before it’s blown up. When Reb is asked about Nick, Dum Dum interjects, “You guys know Fury! He’s got a personal beef agin’ Strucker! He’d demolish us if we interfere! Let’s move!”

Later, having survived all of the explosions that destroyed the city, Nick runs through the ruins, thinking, “If anyplace ever proved that ‘war is hell’… this is it! Fire.. explosions… destruction… A city in ruins! This must be the way it was… the night an air raid got Pamela Hawley! Pam… Junior Juniper… an’ the casualty list keeps gettin’ longer! Where will it end? Where will it stop? But, as long as it lasts, I ain’t goin’ under… not till I’ve taken a few more backstabbin’ Nazis with me, anyhow!”

He also thinks, “I know we went all through that ‘war to end war’ jazz before! Still, a guy can’t help hopin’..! Yeah, every once in a while, I get ta thinkin’… mebbe this one will be the last war! Mebbe… Aw, come off it, Fury! Stop yer day-dreamin’! Leave the thinkin’ to the free world’s bigwigs- they’re gonna need it!” This made me think of Nick’s later position at S.H.I.E.L.D., where I think he could be considered one of the world’s “big-wigs.”

In issue #30 the Howlers fight in Italy for the first time. I think this is the first time Dino’s Italian heritage has been really prominent. In this story he tells the opposing soldiers, “It’s just little ol’ Italian-American me… Dino Manelli… doin’ my bit to speed brother Benito into an early retirement!” And, “So this is Italy… my birthplace… reduced to being Hitler’s junior partner in his insane bid for world conquest!” An Italian soldier threatens to “forget you are a fellow Italian” if Dino doesn’t stop insulting him, and Dino responds, “Go right ahead and forget, pal… It don’t bother me, as long as guys like you are in charge.”

Over the course of the story Dino and the undercover spy in the Italian army that helps them, Carlo, discover that they’re cousins on their mothers’ sides. Carlo turns down going back to England with them, saying, “So, it is only fair that one of us stays here, to look after our family interests!” And Dino says, “We’ll meet when Italy and America are friends once again!”

During the mission Dino reads documents that are in Italian. It makes sense that he would know Italian, though it hasn’t been mentioned before. Dino is usually the Commando that’s assigned to impersonating the enemy, both because he’s a professional actor and because he’s the only one of the Commandoes that speaks German. There hasn’t been a backstory reason given yet for why he knows German.

In the story the Howlers are also helped by another teenage partisan, who Nick at one point addresses as “kiddo.” Nick tells the youth, “Look, kid, I know it’s none o’ my business, but ain’tcha a little bit young to be traipsin’ across the countryside without yer mother?” The teenager responds, “It is none of your business… and my mother was killed by the fascisti six months ago!” Nick estimates the kid’s age as “about fifteen, at most,” and the teenager corrects him that she’s 16 and also reveals that she’s actually a girl. Her story ends more positively than the other teenage freedom fighter, with Dino promising to find her after the war is over and make her a movie star.

In issue #32 Izzy is brainwashed by Nazis to betray the Commandoes. He was unaware that he was the traitor, first guided by a “vague but irresistible impulse stirring in his confused brain” to reveal the Howler’s location, then being activated by the trigger phrase “Long live the thousand-year reich!” to turn his gun against the Howlers. However, he breaks free from the hypnosis when he’s ordered to actually shoot the Commandoes. He explains, “You hadda keep spoutin’ off about killin’ Americans… until somethin’ snapped inside me… an’ it turned out to be yer blamed hypnotic spell! Everybody has some principles he won’t go against.. an’ when you tried to get me to shoot the Howlers, you ran smack dab into mine!”

Also, early in the issue Bull McGiveney makes fun of the Commandoes when Nick lectures them, saying, “We wouldn’t wanna upset Papa Fury by havin’ any of his little brood disagree with him, now, would we?” And at the end of the issue there’s another scene where, as Fury makes the Commandoes run, he says, “Well, lookit that! If it ain’t Auntie Fury and her Sunday school drop-outs, out fer an afternoon stroll!”

There is yet another character who’s emphasized as young in issue #33, a Greek political leader “who’s one of the few people who can unite various guerilla factions [in Greece] against the Nazis.” The narration describes him as “a youthful but commanding figure- one who has seen the fierce ravages of war, without abandoning the eternal hope for peace!” At one point Nick describes their responsibility for protecting him as “Kazantis is our baby till he’s joined the rest’a the main partisan force.” Nazis capture the Howlers and Kazantis and make him give a speech on the radio encouraging the Greek rebels to surrender, but instead he tells them that they can succeed if they unite. The Howlers are able to protect him and get him out of there, but in the end Kazantis is dropped off with friends of his while only Nick was able to make it to the rendezvous point to be taken back to England, with the rest of the Howlers ambiguously either captured or dead.

Dum Dum’s backstory is delved into for the first time in this issue, as he avoided having the Howlers meet his family in the furlough issue and went off on his own off-panel. At one point he thinks, “Back when I wuz a circus strong-man meanderin’ around Europe, I performed before kings ‘n stuff.”

Also, Captain Sam Sawyer had an insult I particularly liked in this issue, when he assigns the Howlers to their mission in Greece and says to Nick, “Maybe you heard of it during your three years in the second grade!”

The Avengers (1963) #43-44

These issues were published across June 1967 to July 1967, according to the Marvel Wiki. Both were written by Roy Thomas and penciled by John Buscema. Issue #43 was inked by George Roussos and issue #44 was inked by Vince Colletta.

In issue #43 Clint goes to China to rescue Natasha, who he has learned did not actually betray the United States but was working an undercover mission for S.H.I.E.L.D., and has since been betrayed by a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent herself. He feels guilty that he previously believed she was actually a traitor. This issue is also the first appearance of the Red Guardian, whose mission is to defeat Captain America, and has a belt emblem that he throws, like Captain America. When Clint confronts him about Black Widow, he asks, “What is that infernal, lying female to you, Avenger?” And when Clint answers, the Red Guardian says, “You love her- love that tiresome tool of the decadent democracies?”

The Red Guardian defeats Hawkeye and locks him up alongside Natasha, after which he unmasks himself. Natasha reacts, “You! All this time- all these years- I thought you were dead!” Clint is concerned to hear the Red Guardian address Natasha as “darling,” Natasha hesitantly explains that he’s her husband, and Clint says, “Then, I guess… you don’t have to waste your breathe explaining anything to me, lady! It couldn’t make any difference… now!” The Red Guardian says that “soon, both of you shall die! Yet first, it is our wish that you witness the downfall of the great Captain America!”

In issue #44 Natasha reveals to their captors that she is not actually a traitor to the communist cause. The Red Guardian’s reaction is to say, “I sensed from the start, my beloved Natasha, that you would never truly betray us! Though I taunted you before, now once again will I be happy to call you… my wife!” And Clint thinks, “Talk about bein’ mixed up! I got myself captured because I thought Natasha was on our side! But now… No! I won’t even think it! I’ve got to trust her.. I’ve got to!” Later, when Hawkeye’s cell mysteriously opens, Clint says, “I gotta catch up with ‘em… before they can do anything to ‘Tasha! ‘Cause I got me a hunch she’s on our side- and that she’s the one who gimmicked my cage!”

Natasha tries to use to distraction of the Captain America and Red Guardian fight to sneak away and destroy the Psychotron, thinking, “This may be my one chance to fulfill the mission for which I have risked all.” General Ling notices and attempts to shoot to kill Natasha, but the Red Guardian jumps in front of the bullet, saying, “Stop! You must not kill tbe woman I lo… Ohhhh!” This allows Natasha to complete her mission in that moment. General Ling tries again, but then Hawkeye arrives, and his arrow at least prevents the shot from being an immediately fatal hit, and he catches Natasha when she falls.

The Avengers all leave the burning ruins of the base. Hercules was going to go back for their enemies and save them, too, but General Ling made one last attempt at killing Captain America, which the Red Guardian stopped, saying, "He... and the woman I have wronged... must live, even though we must die!" And this makes it so that that neither one of them are able to escape.

Natasha explains all of her actions to Clint at the end with, "What does one life matter, my darling... if the world is safe!" He tells her, "One life always matters, 'Tasha! That's what you fought for! Besides, it matters... to me!"

While Natasha is in surgery, Clint tells Steve, "If I should lose her now... just as I've really found her..." Steve tells him, "I... think I know how you feel, partner! But, never abandon hope... no matter how slim it may be! It may not be much... but it's all we've got!" I assume Steve's "I know how you feel" is because of his experiences with Sharon Carter.

After her recovery, Natasha explains her backstory to Clint, with Alexi's faked death and her becoming a spy to avenge him, which I already knew about from retellings of it in other comics. I didn't know about Natasha's assessment of Alexi's behavior, which seemingly implies that he was brainwashed as she was: "They changed him somehow... made him crueller! He seemed hardly the same man I once loved..." Steve tells him, "Ling and his cronies spent years training Alexi... to be just a super-powerful puppet of the state! But, when the chips were down, his feelings for you triumphed over that training... and he died a man!"

I also liked what Steve thinks about the Red Guardian after his death, head in his hands: "From what I've pieced together, I owe my life to... the Red Guardian! Strange... We were born only to clash... Yet there was an invisible bond between us! We fought on different sides... but each by his own code! And, for that code, the man named Alexi was willing to die!"

Timely Publications:

the Captain America stories in Captain America Comics (1941) #18-19

In this batch of 6 stories I went from September 1942 to October 1942, according to the issue cover dates. The stories ranged from 12 to 24 pages, with the outlier of a 4-page story to promote buying war bonds and stamps.

The story “Captain America and the Tomb of Horror” (written by Otto Binder; penciled by Al Avison and George Klein; inked by Syd Shores and George Klein) in Captain America Comics #18 is revealed to be a dream in the end, just like “Captain America and Ivan the Terrible” (written by Joe Simon and Jack Kirby; penciled by Jack Kirby; inked by Joe Simon and Jack Kirby) in Captain America Comics #4. In the "Tomb of Terror" dream Captain America and Bucky are attacked by two foes they've previously defeated, the Black Talon and the Black Toad. It becomes clear it's a dream when Betsy Ross and Sergeant Duffy also inexplicably show up when there's no reason for them to be there with Steve and Bucky in the pyramid in Egypt. In the end Steve wakes up in the sun outside of the pyramid. In the "Ivan the Terrible" dream Captain America and Bucky help Betsy Ross, who is somehow the princess of a faraway kingdom that's being taken over. It's clear it's a dream because Betsy Ross has appeared previously, so we know she's not a princess, but also Steve and Bucky act as though they're meeting her for the first time. In the end Bucky wakes up in his cot at Camp Lehigh.

Also, in Steve’s dream Betsy Ross announces that she and Sergeant Duffy are going to be married, and dream-Bucky interjects, “B-b-but you’re engaged to Steve Rogers!” This is the first I’m hearing that that’s Steve and Betsy’s relationship. Previously she's been portrayed as a secret agent with a positive working relationship with Captain America and a less-positive but not-negative relationship with Steve Rogers. She's friendly with Steve but doesn't always respect him because of his act as an incompetent private.

DC Comics:

Action Comics (2016) #1066 and Superman (2023) #15

These issues were both published this month, June 2024. Both were written by Joshua Williamson. The main story of Action Comics #1066 was drawn by Rafa Sandoval and Miguel Mendonça and colored by Alejandro Sánchez. It also contained a 10-page back-up story titled “Lex and Lena” drawn by Laura Braga and colored by Prasao Rao. And Superman #15 was drawn by Rafa Sandoval and colored by Alejandro Sánchez. This was the conclusion of the “House of Brainiac” event.

The first two pages of the “Lex and Lena” story are made of up panels that are recreations of moments in the original Lena II’s appearances, which I liked. I think the most notable things that are established in that story are that Lena aged at an accelerated rate after she was returned to Lex after her time with Brainiac 13, that period of time in her life not having been depicted before, that Lex had Lena live with her grandmother because he felt that he did not deserve her. This is a far cry from his original treatment of her before he traded her to Brainiac 13. For example, he had her mother put in a coma so that she wouldn’t be competition for him for Lena’s love. I am not really very interested in this era’s portrayal of Lex, particularly in comparison to that previous one it’s working with when it invokes Lena’s history, and it’s difficult for me as a reader to see the throughline of how he changed so significantly. In the “Y2K” event Lex infamously traded his daughter, who he claimed he loved, away for personal gain. In the “House of Brainiac” event Lex risks his life for Lena’s safe, motivated by genuine love, and ultimately sacrifices his intelligence.

I plan on continuing to follow Superman (2023) because I believe Lena will continue to appear in it, even though I’m not necessarily particularly invested in the current stage of things. I assume Lena will have some responsibility in looking after her father or his company. But the next three issues will be a Superman and Zatanna story as part of the “Absolute Power” event.

Batman (2016) Annual #2

This issue was published in November 2017, according to the DC Wiki. It was written by Tom King. The first 30 pages were drawn by Lee Weeks and colored by Elizabeth Breitweiser and the last 8 pages were drawn by Michael Lark and colored by June Chung.

[so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed]

✨✨✨✨🫱Care to share🫲✨✨✨✨

The message was sent to you because someone loved your writing and stories. ❤️

▪️What are your writing suggestions for newcomers, or what would you have liked to know when you first started?

▪️How do you write different personalities and perspectives? Could you explain how you came up with the manner you written your favorite or any character?

▪️What do you do when you have writer's block?

▪️How do you come up with new ideas and develop them?

▪️Any messages for your readers or fellow writers? You are welcome to answer if you have the time and desire, or you can simply respond to the questions that come to mind.

💐Thank you for your work as a writer and as a member of this fandom!💐

Oh my gosh this is such a cute message! Thank you nonnie!

▪️What are your writing suggestions for newcomers, or what would you have liked to know when you first started?

That writing is hard. That sometimes you won't make the deadline no matter how much you want to, and that that's okay. Life is a lot, and writing can be great for your mental health, but it shouldn't take over everything else. Aside from that, the most important thing is you're never going to like your first or final draft as much as anyone else will. It's because you know the story you're trying to tell and you're focused on all the ways it's not measuring up to what's in your head. But others don't have that, and they get to see the wonderful story that it is. So allow others to show you the joy.

▪️How do you write different personalities and perspectives? Could you explain how you came up with the manner you written your favorite or any character?

I try to find common ground between the characters and myself. If I can't find any, I try to figure out their reasons for behaving the way they do. I like psychology and I like finding out what makes people tick. And I just go from there.

Oh and I make them on the aroace spectrum whenever I can, because I can.

▪️What do you do when you have writer's block?

I used to just push through, because writing is like a muscle and all that. Nowadays I try to look more at what's causing writer's block. Is it the lack of free time? Is it not being excited about the plot? Depending on the answer, I either talk to my friends about the story, or try to restructure my time while not sacrificing rest.

▪️How do you come up with new ideas and develop them?

Again, mostly through talking with friends. But any sort of media can inspire an idea, I will typically note them down somewhere and forget about them look through them when I sign up for a fest.

▪️Any messages for your readers or fellow writers? You are welcome to answer if you have the time and desire, or you can simply respond to the questions that come to mind.

I love everyone who has ever read one of my fics. I see all your comments and I cherish them, even if I had to sacrifice replying to them because it simply cuts too much into my writing time. I'd rather focus on creating new stories for you all instead. But I need you to know that even if I don't reply, your comments are what keeps me going, so thank you thank you thank you.

For fellow writers: what we do is hard, and you're doing great! Keep on at it, I'm so proud of you! ❤

[creativecourse]

Design Intensive Master Training Information Design Intensive Master Training appears to be a program designed to help brand and website designers scale their income by adopting a specific project structure known as a design intensive. A blueprint to help brand and website designers dramatically scale their income with lower budget inquiries and short timelines Trying to scale your income as a designer can be beyond frustrating. 01. No matter what you do, you only get “low budget” inquiries that make raising prices feel impossible 02. Your timelines always go over which makes booking new projects stresful and staying motivated to finish projects exhausting 03. You feel like you have to offer more to justify charging more which leaves you feeling even more burnt out than before WHAT IS A DESIGN INTENSIVE? A design intensive is a type of brand or website project structure. Instead of a traditional design process that takes 4-8 weeks to complete, we “intensify” the process to only include what is absolutely necessary for a solid rebrand (or website); a strategic prep period, 1 prep meeting and 1 design day to design a full rebrand or 5 page website. THE SIX FIGURE DIFFERENCE Last summer, I learned that day rates were a thing and I decided to implement them into my business right away. I made an IG post that night and pressed “post.” *Crickets* My excitement faded. I decided to pitch it on my next sales call later that week but the response was disappointing. They weren’t interested and it confused them. Ugh. I continued to try on future calls but was losing hope. No one wanted it. I only booked 2 day rate projects the rest of the year. Determined, I decided to re-approach and restructure the entire offering. Through lots of trial and error, I made significant changes then BAM! It clicked and everyone I pitched it to started saying “yes!” without hesitation. Now, I consistently book 1-2 of these offerings per week and my schedule is full over a month out! I’m making $10k+/month with intensives alone (not including the full branding projects I still do!) and am only working part-time hours. I started talking about it on IG and the response was overwhelming. Now, I’m teaching other designers my exact process for creating, selling and executing a design intensive offer so you can do the same thing! What You’ll Learn In This Course? 01. My sales pitch (and call script) for Design Intensives that makes them a no brainer decision for the right client. 02. The mindset you need to fill your schedule and start making $10k+/month working just 1-2 full days per week 03. The Design Intensive structure and process from inquiry to prep work to design day to final file hand off 04. How to strategically prep for a successful design day so your client leaves happy and you feel confident 05. How to fill your schedule, automate/streamline your process and scale this offer to include junior designers 06. How to differentiate this offer from your full brand and website projects so you can still book those too! More courses from the same author: White and Salt

[livingroombeat]

Progress update 12\11\23

Yo!! Ive been randomly gone for like 20 days so heres a progress update finally! Im going to post the rest of a3 eventually, tbh i just couldnt be bothered because uploading pages is super tedious, it takes about 2 minutes per page, which doesnt sound that bad but when i have to upload almost 100 pages in one session that means it takes over 3 hours to upload! and it is a super tedious process too. So i kinda just kept putting it off because of that. Eventually i would like to make a new website where i can just bulk upload all of the pages super quickly. But you cant do that with blogger and i cant code lmao.

But while ive been putting off uploading the pages ive been kinda thinking about the problems with the comic as it stands. A3 did not need to be 300+ pages long, it couldve been a third of that, but i kept putting a single line onto each individual page, which resulted in the page count being way too high. But that is a simple problem to fix, just put more lines onto each page in the future. So im gonna do that with a4 and beyond.

But there is also a problem that has been kinda cropping up as ive been turning my plan in the google doc that i plan the comic in into actual comics, and i could go on a long rant about this for thousands of words but i wont do that because that would be super annoying. There would also be loads of spoilers. So instead im just gonna say that there was a major problem with the structure and progression of the story which was rooted at the foundation of the entire plot, and i have been thinking about how to fix it for all of these (around) 20 days. But now today i finally figured it out, so im gonna post the rest of the pages soon-ish whenever i get around to it and then i will work to restructure the rest of the story A LOT. The structure will be COMPLETELY CHANGED. The actual story itself wont be changed tho. But yeah anyway thats the update. Sorry about being a bit vague but i couldnt go into more detail without spoilers.

[smokeybrandcompositions]

Relax, it’s FedEx

Three attempts later, and i finally got the rest of my medication. It was supposed to be here last Friday, i had ran out Thursday afternoon, and Fed Ex just kept f*cking up. It needed to be signed for because of insurance purposes, which shouldn’t have been a problem because there are two people at home, all day, but for some reason, that sh*t never happened. Friday, they apparently never knocked and i came home to a doortag. Monday, they didn’t even make it into the gate, even though there are instructions on how to do so on my account, and just left the doortag outside of the apartment, itself. Yesterday, that last delivery attempt was supposed to be by 12. I had my mom literally wait outside by the gate to make sure i got my package. 12 came and went so i checked the tracking at about 230. Final attempt made at 220.

Bro, i lost my sh*t. I called Fed Ex and cussed them out. To their credit, the Customer Service guy was pretty chill We were able to set up a delivery time for the next day, today, by 6pm so i would be home, and added text alerts to it. About an hour later, i get a call from Georgia. It was the Fed Ex driver She was told by Dispatch to make another attempt. What the f*ck? I didn’t do ask for that. I was under the assumption i would get that sh*t today. Well, apparently, my ma came in and called these assholes, too. She went full Karen over the phone and got a redirect. I finally got my meds but, after a week without them, my tolerance dropped and i passed out super early yesterday. First time i went to sleep at 9pm in some time.

Now, this isn’t the Driver’s fault. It’s not even the Dispatcher’s fault. This is a corporate issue. To make up for losses, Fed Ex has restructured routes and it has everyone f*cked up. The Drivers hate it. Dispatch hates it. Loaders hate it. Sh*t is total mess. Cats are being tracked so, sometimes, in order to stay “on task”, Drivers just don’t deliver sh*t. They are on a timer per stop and it’s easier to throw on a doortag, say there was an attempt, and move on to the next delivery. It sucks, sure, but if this is your only job, i get it. If yo have to make two hundred and fifty stops just to keep food on the table, someone ain’t getting their Amazon delivery, bro. It’s chickensh*t, for sure, but it’s on Corporate for installing such greedy, draconian, workloads. Everyone is hurting except for those Executives at the top getting sic figure bonuses. Why would they care? It’s funny to me that these were the guys Trump wanted to replace the Postal Service with. Like, bro, word?

[smokeybrand]

Relax, it’s FedEx

Three attempts later, and i finally got the rest of my medication. It was supposed to be here last Friday, i had ran out Thursday afternoon, and Fed Ex just kept f*cking up. It needed to be signed for because of insurance purposes, which shouldn’t have been a problem because there are two people at home, all day, but for some reason, that sh*t never happened. Friday, they apparently never knocked and i came home to a doortag. Monday, they didn’t even make it into the gate, even though there are instructions on how to do so on my account, and just left the doortag outside of the apartment, itself. Yesterday, that last delivery attempt was supposed to be by 12. I had my mom literally wait outside by the gate to make sure i got my package. 12 came and went so i checked the tracking at about 230. Final attempt made at 220.

Bro, i lost my sh*t. I called Fed Ex and cussed them out. To their credit, the Customer Service guy was pretty chill We were able to set up a delivery time for the next day, today, by 6pm so i would be home, and added text alerts to it. About an hour later, i get a call from Georgia. It was the Fed Ex driver She was told by Dispatch to make another attempt. What the f*ck? I didn’t do ask for that. I was under the assumption i would get that sh*t today. Well, apparently, my ma came in and called these assholes, too. She went full Karen over the phone and got a redirect. I finally got my meds but, after a week without them, my tolerance dropped and i passed out super early yesterday. First time i went to sleep at 9pm in some time.

Now, this isn’t the Driver’s fault. It’s not even the Dispatcher’s fault. This is a corporate issue. To make up for losses, Fed Ex has restructured routes and it has everyone f*cked up. The Drivers hate it. Dispatch hates it. Loaders hate it. Sh*t is total mess. Cats are being tracked so, sometimes, in order to stay “on task”, Drivers just don’t deliver sh*t. They are on a timer per stop and it’s easier to throw on a doortag, say there was an attempt, and move on to the next delivery. It sucks, sure, but if this is your only job, i get it. If yo have to make two hundred and fifty stops just to keep food on the table, someone ain’t getting their Amazon delivery, bro. It’s chickensh*t, for sure, but it’s on Corporate for installing such greedy, draconian, workloads. Everyone is hurting except for those Executives at the top getting sic figure bonuses. Why would they care? It’s funny to me that these were the guys Trump wanted to replace the Postal Service with. Like, bro, word?