#finally listened to the whole album yesterday and i absolutely love it

[vanillaflowerstuff]

made the little triangle guy from the what love? video for my jacket (:

(couldn't do the gloom division album cover because i don't have the right felt colors)

[homestylehughes]

18.

pairing(s): jack hughes x fem!reader

summary: jack proposing to his girlfriend, the girl he knew he would marry since he was 18.

warning(s): absolutely none. pure fluff, and cuteness :)

word count: 1.4k

authors note: hi loves!! my inner directioner came out when writing this fic! this fic is loosely based off of 18 by one direction (I listened to FOUR, the album, the whole time while writing this. 11/10 would recommend). this was so much fun to write, it kinda gives me romcom, or romantic movies vibes? I love writing jack all soft and cute. I hope you guys enjoy, like and reblog if you do! I hope you are all happy and healthy. much love as always <3

“I have loved you since we were 18, long before we thought the same things.”

Ever since Jack laid eyes on yn at 18 he knew she'd be the person he'd spend the rest of his life with. Jack can remember the day he met her, like it was yesterday. He had just got drafted by the New Jersey Devils as the number one pick, which threw him into a new life of superstardom. 

In the midst of being the 1st overall draft pick, the Yankees invited him to a game, having one of the best seats in the stadium, he couldn't help but smile over the fact that this was now his life. As the fifth inning came to an end, Jack decided to make his way to the bathroom. As he walks through the busy crowd, weaving in and out of groups of people. Finally making it to the bathroom, doing his business before quickly heading out. 

As he walks out of the bathroom, his phone dings from a text, pulling his phone out of his pocket to see that it's from his mom. Just as he begins to type out a response, he feels himself bump into someone. bringing his head up to see the prettiest girl he's ever seen in all 18 years of his existence, with a hot dog smashed into her chest. He's so close to her that he can see the red and yellow stains from the ketchup and mustard littered across her white as snow Yankees jersey. 

“Oh my gosh” the girl says, her head hanging low as she looks at the hot dog stained jersey.

“Shit. I'm so sorry. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.” jack embarrassingly  rambles out 

“It's..okay. It's nothing, it's just a jersey and hot dog. No biggie” she says, now looking at jack. 

“No it's a big deal, it's my fault. Here let me help you clean up.” Jack offers, as waves of guilt run through his veins.

“Are you sure? You don't have to, don't want to waste any more of your time.” the girl says

“If anyones wasting your time it's me, come over here” Jack says, taking the hot dog from her, throwing it in the trash, before turning around to look at her jersey. 

“It's pretty bad isn't it?” she asks him

“It is.. How about this, how about I buy you a new one?” 

“I can't accept that, it was an accident. Plus i dont your name.” the girl says, holding her ground as she looks directly in his eyes. 

Jack can't help but get lost in her eyes as they look at each other. 

“Yes you will, and my names jack.” flashing her smile before grabbing her hand

“Now come with me, we're going to go get you a new jersey and a hot dog, and anything else your heart desires, got it?” Jack says, briefly looking at the girl, who sends him a nod in approval. Turning back around, as he continues walking them through the crowd.

“Yn!” she says loudly behind him 

“What?” Jack asks, turning back around, confused by what she said to him.

“Yn, my name is Yn. Only fair if you know mine now” yn says with a small smile

“Well yn, what size jersey are you?” Jack asks, looking at yn, who has a slight smile on her face as she looks over all of the different jerseys.

“Umm..medium? Can I get the white one?” she asks 

“Of course” Jack sends her a smile as he talks to the worker, quickly getting the jersey for the girl. 

Sending the guy behind the counter a thank you, picking up the bad before handing it to yn.

“Jack..thank you so much” 

“You're very welcome, now on to a hotdog” he says with a smile

“Okat only on one condition.” she says

“And that is?”

“You let me buy them. I can't let you buy me anything else today.” yn says, looking at him sternly.

“Yes ma’am” 

“And so help me god if you get mayo on your hot dog, i will break down in tears.” 

“Mayo? On a hot dog?” he questions 

“Yes. it's sick and people actually do it.” she laughs 

“ well no, mayo on my hotdog for me” he smiles to her

“Good. That's what I like to hear,” she says, lifting her head up, sending him a smile before getting in line. 

Jack looks at her for a second, and in that moment he knew, hed just found the person he'd spend the rest of his life with. 

– 

“Quinn. I'm freaking out." Jack says as he paces on the dock.

“Jack calm down, she's going to say yes. Take a deep breath "Quinn says as soothing as he can, in an attempt to calm his brother's nerves.

“You don't know that” jack snaps at him 

“Yes I do, you guys have been inseparable for the last 5 years. You two are the same person, and can share the same brain cell. She will say yes.'' Quinn says. walking over to Jack, bringing him into a hug, hoping to help calm down.

Jack pulls back after a few moments, murmuring a soft thank you, before taking a deep breath, straightening his back before turning around to look out at the lake. The calm water seems to calm his nerves for a few moments. 

“She's on her way” quinn says, laying a hand on jacks shoulder giving it a squeeze before turning around heading off the dock, leaving jack alone with his thoughts. 

A few moments later he can hear the sound of the footsteps on the dock behind him, turning slightly to see her walking towards him in the prettiest white dress, the bottom of it flowing in the wind as she walks. 

“Hi, pretty girl” jack says while grabbing her hand pulling her to stand in front of him

“Hi” she says breathlessly like she'd been holding her breath the whole way here.

“I don't really know where to start but I'll start by doing this,” Jack says before slowly dropping down to one knee. Yns hands quickly move to cover her mouth, as she looks down at Jack with tears welling her eyes.

“Yn. you've been my rock, my best friend, my biggest supporter, and most importantly the love of my life for the last 5 years.” 

Yn lets out a choked sob that causes Jack to pause for a moment, to regain his breaths he can feel his eyes beginning to water, as he continues.

“I knew you would be the person I'd spend the rest of my life with the moment I crashed into you, spreading mustard and ketchup all over you. Even at that moment I thought you were the prettiest girl I'd ever seen. Thank you for always making me feel seen and loved, I wouldn't have been able to do any of this without you. I love you, and I promise I'll love you forever, until my heart gives out. So would you do the greatest honor of being my wife?” 

“Yes. yes. A million times yes, jack.” she says as she struggles to hold back her tears as she launches herself onto jack. The both of them wrapped in each other's embrace, tears of joy falling from both of their eyes. 

Jack pulls back enough to slide the perfectly cut, sized ring onto her hand. the ring going on perfectly, as if it was the last piece of the puzzle, laying perfectly on her hand. 

“Jack it's beautiful” yn beams at him, tears still falling, hitting her cheeks like raindrops on a window. 

“Not as beautiful as you” Jack says, bringing his fingers under her cheeks wiping them away. 

“I love you” she says 

“I've loved you since we were 18, '' Jack says softly before pulling her into a kiss. 

“I wanna love like you made me feel, When we were eighteen”

[mishacollinsthighsss]

I'm still not over what happened, but I have brain worms and they most likely make absolutely no sense and don't even go together but I need to get them out, so heh... guess you guys have to suffer.

THIS PROBABLY WILL INCLUDE A LOT OF TINHATTING BOTH FOR DESTIEL AND COCKLES.

You still there? Great, let's get into my not medicated adhd brain a little.

First of all, starting Friday: The Album Drop

...do I need to say more? No? Well too bad, because I'm going to 😂 I'm a huge music freak, been singing since I was four, play guitar and the piano (I didn't say good okay, I'm actually very jealous of Jensen) and I've been obsessed with lyrics for pretty much forever. Alright, call me crazy but this album is so Dean Winchester coded it's unreal. Every song could be put together with Dean and I'm not even joking. You know what's even funnier? THAT THE DAMN SONG JENSEN AND MISHA PUT TOGETHER YESTERDAY COULD VERY WELL END UP AS A RADIO COMPANY SONG. The lyrics definitely needs some work (probably making it more vague), but... come on. The first thing my mind jumped to when I realized what Jensen was singing was Watching Over Me. MOVING ON.

Second: Jensen's answer about the Destiel reunion

This hole thing still drives me crazy. This was probably the clearest answer we've even gotten from Jensen, plus we got confirmation that he'd like to see a Destiel reunion AND ADDRESSING CAS' GOODBYE (I wanna say here that at this point I have no idea how that would play out if it would be something like "Hey buddy, I don't feel that way but I don't wanna lose you" or a full on love confession from Dean... I have no idea and that's okay, because I know Jensen knows how important that confession was to a lot of us, so I trust him not to invalidate Cas' feelings). Now, I paid a little attention to the words he said about maybe seeing it: first, he said that hopefully we'll get to see that at some point, and later he said maybe we won't. This immediately jumped out to me and you know what my brain did? Let me tell you: Jensen said that he doesn't talk about possible project before they aren't under the wraps because he doesn't wanna jinx them. Now hear me out: first, he said maybe we'll get to see it. Then he backtracked. He's talked about a reboot/6-10 episode thing for forever now. He WANTS to come back. My tinhat is firmly in place when I say that I have no doubt he's working on it already, but it isn't greenlit yet (hence the backtrack later). The description was just too specific to be made up out of thin air. (Watch me regretting those words later because I'm just too hopeful.)

Third and last: Whatever that Cockles Panel was

Listen, I could scream about them forever, we all know what went down, the only thing I wanna point out is: When Jensen said "...which is funny because so do I" he looked flustered as hell, we all know that by now. What gets me is that Misha had basically no reaction to this (he looked down, but that's it). So, did they plan something like that? I don't know, I just think it's weird as hell to have no reaction to something like this, especially when it's your "best friend" and he says that in front of hundreds of people.

(Plus, a little side note: still not over how you can SEE Jensens brain working while he's nervously rubbing his thigh.)

I don't even wanna go into the lyrics they wrote together, I've talked about it during the first point already, but something I wanna add is that I loved jensens face journey as Misha first mentioned the brothers but then immediately jumped to "The Angel". That was hilarious and by God, Jensen was planning on throwing together something romantic.

I'm very much not fine as you can tell, but it feels like the universe has shifted after the non-existent finale and now it's our turn. I always try to keep my expectations low, but the album and this whole weekend catapulted me right into the sun, so now all I can see is light and stars and it's wonderful.

[void-and-virtue]

First off, thank you for tagging me @moondal514 . This looks fun! It’s insane to me that anyone would consider me a mutual but I’m happy about it sksksks

currently reading: Nothing in particular? There’s a bunch of books I want to read but my brain is SO not on board with me branching out in the book direction rn. I did finally cave and read Son Nefes in full yesterday, even if that is only book-adjacent (It’s really good. If you’re an AFTG fan and haven’t read it, you should. Even if you technically already know all it says from various posts floating around).

Fic wise, it’s whatever @jtl-fics has going on with Fluent Freshman. It’s just prime comedy complete with memes, 11/10.

favorite color: Midnight Blue. I will sing my love for it from the rooftops.

last song: Take Me Back To Eden by Sleep Token. I’m frothing at the mouth about the entire album, but the title song in particular is rotating in my mind like a rotisserie chicken.

last show: I haven’t watched anything in so long I literally can’t remember. @statistical-improbabilities my beloved is trying to bully me into Shadow and Bone and The Good Place and I’ve had my eye on The Legend Of Vox Machina since it came out so my next pick is most likely gonna be one of those.

currently watching: YouTube. If anything, it’s YouTube. I cycle through video essays, Hollow Knight content, Critical Role VODs and the YouTube channel of the animal guy from TikTok like nobody’s business

last movie: Probably my nth rewatch of Howl’s Moving Castle about a year ago (oh god, what is time?) I really wanna go see Across The Spiderverse—the first movie was SO GOOD. Also, Everything Everywhere All At Once when I get around to it (can you tell how I’m always late to trends?)

sweet/spicy/savory: People here expect me to CHOOSE??

currently working on: My beloved monster child of a WIP that is shaping up to be absolutely MASSIVE. It’s an Andreil soulmate AU with telepathy because I am forever true to my brand of ‘what does it do to a person if they have mental superpowers, would that be fucked up or what?’. I passed 110k on this yesterday. It’s still potentially less than half the story. Save me.

current obsession: Take Me Back To Eden by Sleep Token. Ooooh my god. I started listening into this album a couple days ago but sat down today to listen to the entire thing in its proper intended order and. I have ascended into a whole other plane of existence. I am experiencing emotions in colors previously only known to mantis shrimp. I can see my Spotify Wrapped of this year going completely down the drain as this album becomes the only thing I listen to for the entire rest of the year, on repeat. I wish this was an exaggeration. I am dead serious. Sorry to my friends on discord who will be subjected to my lethal case of Not Shutting The Fuck Up About It for the next while <3

6 mutuals: I have no idea at which point following a blog makes that person become a mutual. All I know is that @statistical-improbabilities @i-think-i-lost-my-phone and @swamp-world are legally obliged to put up with my bullshit. @dumbenby I’m roping you into this too <3

Anyone who sees this and feels like doing it (or sees it and wonders why the hell I didn’t tag them because we’re obviously mutuals (I’m sorry)), feel free to take this as your invitation to go ahead and/or yell at me <3

[always-andromeda]

hi Meda!

I hope you're doing well and taking care of yourself! ☺️

I just wanted to check in and see if you had heard Melanie Martinez's new single yet?? I'm super curious to hear your thoughts on it!!

I think I need to do a discography re-listen since it's been a while since I've really gone through her albums. but I do know that the absolutely feral scream after the bridge of "pity party" is a whole mood and I may or may not have listened to that song on repeat just for that bit last semester 😅

I hope the week ahead is fantastic for you!!

best always,

charlotte 🎨

Hi ho, Charlotte!! It's been a rough few days but things might be starting to look up? Not quite sure, just taking baby steps, ya know!! What's been going on with you lately, dear?

I finally got a chance to listen to the new single yesterday and GOD, I ADORE IT. I remember seeing her first allusions to the whole concept of death and rebirth in K-12 and I loved it. I can't even pick out a particular line in the song that stands out to me just yet because they're all so gorgeous. Her lyricism has always appealed to me but she's writing straight up poetry this time around.

I'm looking forward to listening to the whole album, of course. But I think I'm most excited for Moon Cycle because I just know that one will get me so bad based on the snippet I've heard of it. I think I'll need to do a discography refresher soon too just because her music is an entire narrative experience that needs to be fully appreciated every once in a while!!

I hope this week is kind to you as well, dear!! Sending you all of my love, support, and hugs!! 💞✨

[fledglingmaster]

Clairaudience

Bonjour! This might read a tad janky, but this feels like the place to post this as it concerns my host and his demon. This is Bleu by the way. Hi!

I'm going, "how does he do that?" As if a demon/vampire (not sure how he'd identify these days, given how my host is I'm leaning towards demon) that is in spirit form (for lack of better words) couldn't drop a few signs here and there.

My host, more so than I, tends to notice things in songs. Or meaningful songs come on at the exact right moment and play in the background. He's into that psychic stuff. Not that I don't believe in it myself, I mean I've witnessed things...it's just not my cup of tea. I didn't inherit that gift from my mother. But my host will hear a song and a certain line might stand out as if it's louder when it's not. Or he'll hyperfocus on a song because something is urging him to listen. It's like someone tapping him on the shoulder insistently and going, "hey pay attention right now!" I believe it, I know how it is for him, but I don't usually experience such things.

As I say this, when Sebastian has a message, even I feel like I'm being beamed in the face with it. The first time it happened was when I was co-fronting and my host was drawing. I asked him then, "is this what it's like for you?" I don't think it was coincidence that when he was working on a piece that dealt with his past, we both heard, "I'll be there as soon as I can. But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before." My host was so casually, "yeah that's Sebastian." Umm...I'm sorry this is fucking weird. It was like someone screamed those words in my ear. I mean the presence I felt, the line, I think I had my first ghost experience while (co)fronting.

I don't know how to interpret that message. Does that mean he's still stuck in the time loop? Does that mean he will manifest at some point in this life? If he manifests...I'm assuming he will come into someone's system. It would be really cruel for him to be human born and what? When he finally gets to be my host's current age my host would be in his 60's? No, we had two tragic lives, third time's a charm, right? I would think ideally, he'd manifest in our system. But I'm not sure if there would be issues with that. I know my host already has stated he'd rather not bind Sebastian to a human vessel and this one...it's not in the best shape. But enough on that...

I've been fronting since the whole dog thing yesterday more or less. I have random music on, kind of letting it do its own roulette sort of thing. We've been listening to Sleep Token since the beginning of the month. They were a band that happened to play, and we liked them. One of those 'suggested for you' type of things. My host really felt 'The Apparition' fit his situation well. Had a good cry about it and everything. So, this band neither of us knew existed until around a week ago, this song has my host an absolute mess. That is his new song. He loves it, it feels like his heart is being ripped out, lovely. (Oh my god...I can't some days with him...at least he's letting himself cry.)

There are probably many songs we haven't heard from the band but a new one, for us, came up today. 'Are You Really Okay?' This time I'm fronting but I felt how my host was feeling before that, and I know his mental state is poor. This was one of those stand out songs in a personal way. I did a look around the room and asked if it was Sebastian. Right after that song 'The Apparition' played and that felt like Sebastian confirming it. Now, me being the healthy skeptic I am, I had to look up albums and that is the order of the songs on the album. One could say logically that's why it played in that order. Though I find it interesting that we've listen to this band as well as other bands mixed for hours, probably a few solid days' worth and the first song never was played. As I'm attempting to be hopeful but I'm still doubting Motionless in White's 'Eternally Yours' plays next. Okay, I get it, it really is you. This is so freaky.

Anyway, host, Sebastian says you can't harm yourself. So, listen! You'll get over this rough patch. By the way, our likes are at 555, I know you like those angel numbers.

[speakingagain]

5.5.2024

Dear Zackary,

We both held music dearly to our hearts. You could spout out facts for hours on end about different bands and pieces and albums.

For me, music was an escape, a safe space, my emotional pit. I could be free from the emotions or I could finally feel them. It was my freedom.

It's been almost a year to date since I left. And I think I have been in the 'anger' stage of grieving for a long while now.

But yesterday I discovered a song. It's absolutely beautiful. The way it delves into the deep haunting notes of a cello, into the higher soothing and hopeful notes of the violins. It is a whole story in a few pages of music.

And the very few lyrics in the song, broke me the moment I heard the scream of "I loved you."

It shattered everything I'd built up as a protection for myself.

It disintegrated every wall, every brick. And I stood, undefended, feeling the music seeping into my bones. I could feel my heartbeat and it seemed to thump extra heavily with the heavy beats of the drums.

And it did something amazing.

I felt inspired for the first time. Not ever, of course. But in months. A year almost.

I was worried I'd lost it.

I could see the paint strokes, I could see the golds glistening in the light. I could see the hope and pain and the growth and death and everything forming on a canvas as a goddess formed.

Yearning for her lost love. Yearning for the good and the bad. Yearning to feel complete. Yearning to complete herself. Yearning to be loved as she thought she was. And finally knowing she was loved and good and bad and complete because she had loved them.

She had won. She had loved. She had lost and gained and broke and rebuilt. She had won.

Then, the song made me cry today. I listened to it a second time, same process as the night before.

Dark room, fan on, music playing, and I stared at my ceiling. I felt the beat in my chest, the cries in her growl as she sang with her whole body and her whole heart.

"And you loved me too."

Fuck.

The next stage of grieving had begun with a single sentence.

I think I would rather be angry.

I know, it's not linear. I know it isn't always the same stage, one after another. There's no time limit per stage. Yeah yeah. I know.

But if my life has taught me anything thus far, it's that people can love you and still do things to hurt you.

Them doing those things doesn't automatically mean that they secretly hated you.

It means they are human and make mistakes. It means they chose the path they wanted. It means they are going in a different direction and choosing themselves.

And I can say "I would never have cheated on my spouse."

But honestly, I don't know what I would do.

Morally, it's fucked up. I know what it feels like to be cheated on. I know what it does to a person. I know what it does to a family. I know it hurts everyone involved, indirectly or directly.

But until I had the opportunity, I never knew what I would do.

I still didn't cheat when given the opportunity. It was never an option for me.

Their love never changed. Your love never changed. It never grew.

I had assumed wrong.

I loved you more.

And you did love me. Of course you did. I felt it. I saw it. I revelled in it.

But it was so much weaker than I could have imagined.

And that's my fault for settling for such a weak love. I deserved better, and I think I knew it too. I just wanted the love I could give. I did give. I wanted to prove I was loveable and I was going to get out and do better.

Love was never meant to be an escape. And for that, I am sorry.

Thank you for loving me what you were capable of. The last six years were some of the worst years of my life. But some of the best too.

Thank you for showing me I could be loved. Thank you for showing me I deserved better.

Thank you for ending the love so I could find what I deserve.

And I'm so sorry for your loss.

I can solidly say, I won.

I was loved. I loved.

I grew. I learned. I am completing myself.

I am loving myself.

I am not 100% there just yet. But I'm getting there.

So thank you. And go fuck yourself, kindly.

No longer your love,

Or your other half,

Mae.

[chorusfm]

Liner Notes (November 4th, 2023)

I hope everyone had a good week this week. This week’s supporter Q&A post can be found here. If you’d like this newsletter delivered to your inbox each week (it’s free and available to everyone), you can sign up here. A Few Things * This will probably be another shortish newsletter. It’s a slower music week, and it’s the time of the year when there’s not much happening in the music world, and I have a lot of family commitments. It’s nice to take some time off and enjoy my favorite time of the year though. It’s wild to think that next week will be Hannah and my fourth wedding anniversary. The plan is to relax a little, have some nice meals, and get some things done around the house to prepare for the holidays. In Case You Missed It * Review: Taking Back Sunday – 152 * Review: Boys Like Girls – Sunday At Foxwoods * Green Day Announce 2024 Tour * Anberlin Share Matty Mullins Vocal Clip * Major Labels Trying to Stop Artists from Re-Recording Songs * Taking Back Sunday Play Fan Wedding * Brian Fallon Reviews Every Gaslight Anthem Album * The Gaslight Anthem Perform on CBS Saturday Morning * 20th Anniversary Edition of ‘Take This To Your Grave’ * Albums in Stores – Nov 3rd, 2023 Music Thoughts * Things I enjoyed that came out yesterday were the final Atreyu EP, creating a nice 12-song album that leans more into their pop side but works for me this time of year. And Spiritbox also released an awesome EP that continues their hot streak. * My week was spent between the current releases (Blink-182, Gaslight Anthem, Taking Back Sunday) and revisiting some albums that always feel great in November (Matt Nathanson, Patrick Droney, anything Ace Enders touches). The Stats: Over the past week, I listened to 36 different artists, 45 different albums and 443 different tracks (479 scrobbles). And you can follow me on Apple Music and/or Last.fm. Entertainment Thoughts * From the very first one to the latest, I’m a sucker for all the Mission: Impossible movies. I enjoyed Dead Reckoning, but I did feel like it was hurt by only being a “part one.” There are some great action scenes and set pieces. But not quite up to the level as my favorites from the franchise on first watch. * We did a bunch of Halloween movies last week: Talk to Me was the best of the bunch, The Blackening was a lot of fun, and Suitable Flesh was weird. * Whenever I think I’m about to just cancel Netflix they release something that pulls me back in. Currently, that’s Bodies. The first four episodes have pulled me in. Curious to see where it goes. Random and Personal Stuff * Next week’s project is to get the bedroom track lights fixed. The power supply for them died, and of course, they don’t make it anymore. After talking to a few electricians, they all think the whole system probably needs to be replaced because of how old it is (like 15 years?), and they don’t make anything compatible anymore. So my “this shouldn’t be too annoying to fix” project became a “this is going to be absolutely obnoxious” project real fast. Ten Songs Here are ten songs that I listened to and loved this week. Some may be new, some may be old, but they all found their way into my life during the past seven days. * Spiritbox – Ultraviolet * The Beatles – Now and Then * Sigrid – Borderline * Blink-182 – Turpintine * Taking Back Sunday – Juice 2 Me * The Gaslight Anthem – The Weatherman * Patrick Droney – We Got Old This Year * Matt Nathanson – Soundtrack * There Will Be Firewords – Smoke Machines (Summer Moon) * Paint it Black – Dominion This playlist is available on Spotify and Apple Music. Community Watch The trending and popular threads in our community this week include: * NFL Gameday Week 9 * Nutella vs. Cookie Butter * Kevin Drew – Aging (November 3, 2023) * MGMT – Loss Of Life (February 23, 2024) * FOOTBALLHEAD – Overthinking Everything (March 1, 2024) * Tour Prediction and Speculation Thread * Video… https://chorus.fm/features/articles/liner-notes-november-4th-2023/

[fairycosmos]

hello hello! seeing gerard way in a skirt has finally made me listen to mcr for the first time in my life! teenagers is a bop and ive been listening to him yell for 30 minutes straight! but ive also realized how huge the band is and i have no idea what their best songs are/where to start so i figured id ask you since you have absolute excellent taste chefs kiss mwah mwah (please help me i am so lost lmao he has a great voice but they have like 500 songs where do i even begin)

god this is so exciting i would pay to be you and listen to mcr for the first time ever again!ahhhhh. also this is licherally the power of gerard in a skirt it's really unspeakable im. anyway! if you want my opinion i think you should just start by listening to their album the black parade. like, in full. maybe that's a controversial starting point for ppl who stan them but it's their most famous piece of work for a REASON and the songs are just bloody brilliant. you can listen to it all on youtube. then move on to three cheers for sweet revenge if you're looking for a second album to fall into LOL because that is a whole masterpiece im not even kidding. the rest can be discovered like a diver unearthing a gorgeous shipwreck full of jewels one by one........:^)  also, ppl wil say danger days is their worst album but don't be afraid to listen to it bc it's got some incredible songs on it it was literally just a slight artistic diversion and it's still so GOOD.....

some of my personal fav songs from mcr: the sharpest lives, MAMA, cancer, i dont love you, famous last words, disenchanted, the ghost of you, give em hell kid, cemetery drive, it's not a fashion statement it's a fucking deathwish, the foundations of decay, dead!, the kids from yesterday, demolition lovers, early sunsets over monroeville etc etc

[spencersstrawberryjello]

Treat People With Kindness (The BAU)

Summary: Garcia gets Reid into Harry Styles and everyone subsequently loses their minds over it.

Content: Honestly just funny I’m not sure what to call it

MC’s name/pronouns: No alternate main character, just Spencer.

Word Count: 1706

A/N: This whole fic was inspired by the fact that a fan gave Matthew Gray Gubler a Treat People With Kindness pin, which then sparked my friend Emily and I to theorize that Spencer Reid would absolutely be a Harry Styles stan. So yeah, this is literally just the product of one fan interaction lmao

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I got a good feelin’.”

“... What’s he doing?” Emily leaned over and whispered to JJ, who just shook her head.

“I’m just takin’ it all in.”

“Ok, what happened to Reid?” Morgan joined them, and they both shrugged, watching Spencer walk through the doors of the office. 

“Floatin’ up and dreamin’.”

“You know, maybe I need to add him to my drug test list too.” Hotch had stepped out of his office, trying to hide his grin as they saw Spencer making his way to his desk, headphones in and practically dancing over to his seat, mouthing every word of the song he was listening to. He plopped down in it with a little spin, opening a file on his desk without ever taking his headphones out. 

“Try ‘Dancing with the Stars,’” Emily laughed, and JJ broke away from their group, heading over to his desk. 

“Hey Spence,” She rested her arms on the divide between his desk and Emily’s, tapping on it to get his attention. 

“Maybe we can find a place to feel good.”

“Spence!” She tapped his arm this time, and he practically jumped out of his skin, turning to face her.

“And we can treat -”

He quickly tore the headphones out of his ears, setting them down on his desk and looking up at her, clearing his throat.

“Sorry. I was listening to something.” He gestured to the headphones still connected to his phone, as if that wasn’t already obvious. 

“Yeah, I noticed,” JJ laughed.

“Do we have a case?” 

“Nothing yet, you’re good.” She tried fruitlessly to hide her grin, and he gave her a strange look.

“Ok…”

“So,” She plopped down in Emily’s chair, rolling it over to sit near him, “What were you listening to?”

“Oh!” His face lit up, and he grabbed his phone, holding it out for her to see. She put the headphones in her ears, hearing the final moments of the song he’d been jamming to.

“And we can treat people with kindness, find a place to feel good.”

“Harry Styles?” JJ laughed incredulously, handing him back his phone. 

“You’ve heard of him?” He asked, taking the phone and sitting it back on his desk and turning back to her.

“I’m pretty sure most people have heard of him, Spence.”

“Ok, well, I hadn’t. But on Saturday I was speaking at the University of Mary Washington with Rossi, and one of the girls gave me this, after the lecture,” He grabbed his bag off the back of the chair, pointing to a round pin clipped on the strap. It was enamel, with light pink on the inside and a red rose in the center, encircled by the phrase “Treat People With Kindness” in black lettering. “And you know, naturally I thought it was a good message so I put it on my bag and I thought that was all it was. But then I ran into Garcia.”

“Oh god.”

“I was walking in yesterday and she saw it and kind of freaked out a little bit, and pulled me into her office and played me the song - the one you just listened to - and it was amazing and so I told her I thought it was amazing, which made her freak out even more and then you called with a case so I left, only to receive a a YouTube playlist a few hours later that she told me I had to watch every video on or she’d stop printing the case files for me.”

“You know she loves you too much to actually do that, right?”

“I mean, the odds were low, but I wasn’t going to risk it. Either way, I sort of listened to every single song on Fine Line and Self-Titled in one night and also a whole bunch of interviews that she sent me and he’s really funny and his music is great and the moral of the story is I kind of love him.”

JJ sent back in her chair, dumbfounded. “Dude… you mean to tell me Garcia made you a Harry Styles fan?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“I - Penelope!” JJ left without another word, making her way into Garcia’s office. Spencer just shrugged, returning to the file he was looking at - and his music - as Garcia spun to face JJ.

“Jennifer, my love, to what do I owe the pleasure? New case?” She asked. JJ just shook her head.

“You broke Reid.”

“I did not break Reid!” She defended with a grin. “I merely helped him reach his true form.”

“He willingly used technology, and he came into the office today practically dancing to Treat People With Kindness. So yes, you did break Reid.”

“JJ, dear,” Garcia got up from her chair, taking JJ’s hands in the doorway, “Do you remember when Reid got that adorable little shaggy haircut?”

“Despite the fact that he changes his hair like every month, yes, I do.”

“And do you remember what Hotch said?”

She thought for a moment, then her eyes widened in shock. “You did all of this… because of the boyband joke?”

“Like I said: true form.” Garcia returned to her chair, spinning around with a laugh. “In my defense, I didn’t know he was going to get a Harry Styles pin. I just took advantage of the opportunity when it presented itself. I already failed at teaching him to worship Lady Gaga, I could not miss another chance to try and pull him out of the dark ages.”

“You are ridiculous, you know that?”

“That’s why you love me!” 

JJ laughed, leaving Garcia’s office and heading up to hers, ruffling Spencer’s hair on her way by.

“You should grow your hair out again.”

“You think so?” He reached up and fussed with his hair, just as Garcia emerged into the main room. 

“Spencer Reid, my beautiful boy genius, did you do what I asked?”

“Garcia, I figured out how to download music to my phone because of you. So yes, I did what you asked.”

“You are officially my new favorite person.”

“Hang on, what is this all about?” Emily asked. Garcia grinned, hardly able to contain her excitement. 

“I’m finally bringing the lovely Dr. Reid here into the 21st Century.”

“Penelope,” Emily raised an eyebrow at her, “What did you do?”

“Garcia thinks she did something revolutionary by getting me into Harry Styles’ music,” Spencer clarified. Emily immediately clapped her hand over her mouth, about to respond before Derek piped up from his desk.

“Oh, she converted you too?”

“‘Too’ - you mean to tell me that you, Derek Morgan, are a Harry Styles fan?” Emily was looking between the three of them now, practically in shock. Derek just laughed, holding up his hands.

“What can I say, the guy’s got an incredible voice.”

“And the make up of his songs is so interesting as well; I mean, when you look at the music he’s produced in the last few years in comparison to what he performed while he was a part of One Direction -”

“Oh my god please tell me you’ve also listened to One Direction,” Emily said, laughing when Spencer nodded. 

“I don’t understand why you guys are making such a big deal out of this. He’s a singer, it’s not like he doesn’t have fans,” He defended. 

“Reid, two months ago you didn’t even know who Lady Gaga was. This is kind of a big deal.”

“Conference room in five,” JJ walked through the group, heading upstairs as everyone else got up to follow her. 

“Do not think I am dropping this,” Emily pointed at Derek and Spencer before jogging to catch up with JJ. Derek laughed, falling in step with Reid. 

“So, what all did Garcia make you watch?”

“Oh, just a bunch of interviews. I did some of my own reading though -”

“Of course you did.”

“- and what I found really interesting was One Direction’s actual rise to fame. Because the thing is, they didn’t even win X-Factor. They came in third, and yet they became the most famous group to come from that season of the show. In Forever Young - their book - they talked about their time on X-Factor, but it was so strange to me because their first album - Up All Night, that came out not even a full year after they finished the X-Factor live tour - sold 4.5 million copies within the first year. And they just kept growing… Morgan why are you laughing?”

“I’m sorry,” They’d walked into the conference room by now, sitting down next to each other at the table while Derek tried to stop himself from laughing, looking at Reid in disbelief, “You read their book?”

“And their Wikipedia page - I told you I did my own reading!”

“You said you did some of your own reading, you didn’t say you’d memorized everything about their career!”

“Eidetic memory, remember?” He tapped his forehead, and Derek rolled his eyes.

“You never let me forget. I’m assuming you know everything about their solo careers as well?”

“Well I got into Harry’s stuff first, but I ended up reading all of theirs since I didn’t have anything else to do last night. It’s just so interesting to think about what One Direction’s situation reveals about human nature and celebrity culture. I mean, a lot of their fans are dictionary definition erotomaniacs, and yet -”

“I shouldn’t even be surprised that you read this all in one night.”

“Like I said: didn’t have anything else to do.”

“As much as I’m glad you boys are bonding, we have more important things to worry about than Reid’s newfound love for a British boy band,” JJ interrupted.

“Niall Horan’s actually Irish -”

“Spence. The case.” She pulled up the photos on the screen, and Spencer nodded, opening the case file in front of him as JJ began to review everything they needed to know. She finally closed out, and Hotch grabbed his tablet and rose from the table. 

“Alright, wheels up in thirty.”

Everyone nodded, gathering up their things and vacating the room. Spencer and Derek trailed out after everyone, Spencer picking up the conversation as soon as JJ finished. 

“You know, I’m considering learning how to knit - there’s this cardigan that Harry wore...”

[radical-rapscallion]

Ok then, Song Recs: The Reckoning, MCR Edition

-ok if you’ve not heard Welcome To The Black Parade we have a problem

-S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W , (love)

-Bulletproof Heart , (also love)

-Im Not Ok (I Promise) ,(mood)

-Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na) , (what it’s a good album(guess how the song starts))

and finally, The Foundations Of Decay

No need for the whole chart if you don’t want to, just tell me how you liked them!

- ur spouse, Alex <3

the black parade - my beloved <3

S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W - absolute banger 10/10

bulletproof heart - GRAVITY DONT MEAN TOO MUCH TO ME IM WHO IVE GOT TO BE THESE PIGS ARE AFTER ME AFTER YOU RUN AWAY LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY first time listening to it i love this so much

im not ok (i promise) - i dont wanna make it. i just wanna *SICK GUITAR RIFF*

na na na - god i hate the name but it's such a good song 😭

foundations of decay - gonna be honest i kind of zoned out here but it sounds funky (first time listening to this one as well

[killmygoldenn]

Finally listened to the whole album and here are my first reaction, favourite lyrics and ranking from favourite to least favourite.

1. Love Of My Life - No words. Tearing my hair out and crying and shit. "I won't pretend that I've been doing everything I can to get to know your creases and your ends are they the same?"

2. Matilda - I'm in TEARS. oh absolutely LOVE. probably the best lyrics in the whole album. "You can throw a party full of everyone you know and not invite your family because they never showed you love, you don't have to be sorry for leaving and growing up."

3. Music For A Sushi Restaurant - THIS SONG IS SO INSANE AND WEIRD AND SUCH A VIBE??? TRUMPETS!!!! "If the stars were edible and our hearts were never full, could we live with just a taste?"

4. Late Night Talking - such a cute ass song captures the new infatuation with a person so well. "And nothing really goes to plan you stub your toe or break your camera I'd do everything I can to help you through."

5. Satellite - a VIBE. "Spinning out, waiting for you to pull me in, I can see you're lonely down there, don't you know that i am right here?"

6. Little Freak - oh I really love the chorus wow so damn sad wtf. "You never saw my birthmark."

7. Daydreaming - TRUMPETS. "She said love me like you paid me."

8. Cinema - she's such a GROOVE. "Do you think I'm cool too or am I too into you?"

9. As It Was - she's a bop we have been know. "go home, get ahead, light-speed internet I don't wanna talk about the way that it was."

10. Daylight - So cute, the infatuation again I like the sound too. "You'll be the spoon, dip you in honey so I could be sticking to you."

11. Keep Driving - It's so carefree and random wow. "Maple syrup, coffee, pancakes for two hash brown, egg yolk, I will always love you."

12. Boyfriends - Damn Harry's "All men are trash" anthem. "You lay with him as you stay in the daydream"

13. Grapejuice - Cute song. "yesterday, it finally came, a sunny afternoon I was on my way to buy some flowers for you."

[redbaretta]

the GazettE "MASS" Album Thoughts and Impressions [2021.05.26]

Who has listened to the album 😍? I've been listening since yesterday and now that it's marinated a bit...some thoughts!

Two things I noticed overall: 1) The audio quality is much better in MP3/FLAC compared to Spotify. I'm not sure why, but when it comes to rock songs, Spotify tends to squish the instrumentals a lot compared to the CD quality, and 2) The mastering here is definitely crisper compared to NINTH, more similar to DOGMA, which I appreciate so much.

The songs though...!

COUNT-10: This intro!! The beat, the intensity of it, just- I kinda wish this was a full song on its own!

BLINDING HOPE: I enjoy this a lot more ripped compared to streamed. The chorus instrumentals are less compressed and you hear the nuances a lot more. It's like I'm finally hearing it how I'm supposed to. The acoustic guitar and Ruki screaming "Come back to the light!" is definitely the highlight for me.

ROLLIN': THIS GOES SO FUCKING HARD I LOVE IT! The crispness and absolute relentless momentum of the music, balanced by Ruki's melodic singing, THAT KILLER BASS INTERLUDE IN THE MIDDLE! This is a favourite for me.

NOX: Compared to the other non-ballads it's actually quite mellow. The highlight is definitely the breakdown at 2:34 and the following guitar interlude.

HOLD: Another favourite! THE CHORUS ABSOLUTELY SLAPS. They go hard and they go in, love it when a band does not hold back. This song is gonna break so many necks when they get a chance to play it live.

Daku (濁): This song was my most anticipated in the album preview, and y'know what. It delivered. THE LEAD-UP AND BRIDGE/CLIMAX IN 2:12-2:48. OH MY GOD!!! IT'S SO GOOD!!!!! THIS IS MY FIFTH BREAKDOWN OVER THIS SONG!!!! OVER THIS PART!!! FUCKFJADKFLSDJ 😭😭😭

THE PALE: Once again, EXCELLENT. And yet again, they absolutely nail the climax of the song at 2:41-3:04, that haunting guitar solo creates such a mood!

MOMENT: Okay here's where I get real and say I'm not into this style lmao I'm sorry 😂. But for acoustic ballad lovers craving something softer, I think this definitely delivers!

BARBARIAN: A fast song, though not as relentless and forceful as ROLLIN' or HOLD. Necks will have time to rest here lol. The interlude and female vocals at 2:44-3:28 keeps the song refreshing and interesting.

FRENZY: A banger that's a little on the short side compared to the others, but still enjoyable! The part that sold me was definitely the guitars at 1:15-1:29.

LAST SONG: These song names ISTG LOL. Because the preview was so long I feel like I've heard this song in its entirety already, and essentially the preview is kinda the whole song. Nonetheless it maintains its integrity and richness up until the very end!

[queen-of-my-goofball-army]

Why YOU should give Rush a chance

Okay, so right off the bat, this is not going to be like my other posts on my blog. This is not a post about some show that has captivated my interest or anything at all related to animation. If that's not your cup of Dot rambling coffee, than I would highly recommend you take your L right now and come back for your regularly scheduled programming in a few days.

Are they gone? Okay cool! For those of you that stuck around past my forewarning let me tell you about my newest special interest to join my now growing music love affair with 80's and 90's Rock n Roll. For those of you that don't know, I'm guessing that most of you do not know what Rush even is. If you are not somehow on the autism spectrum or know a lot about music in general than this band will be entirely unknown to you. Rush is a three man progressive rock band born in Canada made up of three incredibly amazing men Gary "Geddy" Lee, his best friend since he was 11 years old Alex Lifeson, and last but most certainly not least, the amazingness that was Rush's drummer and songwriter Neil Peart. Together, the three of them changed the world of progressive rock through Geddy's unique vocal qualities, Alex's incredibly underrated shredding guitar skills, and Neil's immaculate drums and lyrics. I am here to tell you, yes YOU reading this length rambling message in three sections to keep this fair. Each member will get their own sections and I will try my hardest to keep personal bias out of this. I also just watched Rush: Beyond The Lighted Stage yesterday with my mom so I will mention some things that we talked about during it to try and sell people.

Geddy Lee:

* Geddy has one of the most unique voices in all of rock music. This will most likely be the thing that turns off the people that do listen to me and wind up listening to a couple of songs. He has had a lot of critics for his higher pitched voice usually yelling lyrics. However, I love his singing voice. It is filled with energy and power to it. His voice has a weight to it that not a whole lot of other people can really nail if they really want to.

* You want to talk about sheer talent? How many of you all know lead singers that are a one and done kind of singer? They can play one instrument and they're done? Well shove them aside because Geddy can play not only bass guitar but a double neck bass, synthesizer, and piano. Yeah I think all you haters can stand aside because this man will always be amazing technically.

* So many of lead singers in my opinion, think that they own the band. Because they get to sing the songs right? That means that they get to make all the important decisions and they can't ever do anything wrong. Well for those of you that know Rush, you will remember the synthesizer era. The era of new wave Rush where Geddy shelved his bass guitars for his synthesizer. This caused a small rift between Lee, Lifeson, and Peart who were not at all fans of the way that the synthesizer was going. While Geddy was having a fun time with it, he shelved the synthesizer almost for good and went back to his roots. I don't know many other lead singers that would put up something that they were legitimately having a good time with just for his bandmates.

* Geddy's just general goofball personality is something that continues to make me chuckle. Since he and Alex have known each other for practically ever (they met when they were 11) and have been there for each other for most of their lives they have very similar energy's.

Alex Lifeson:

* Alex Lifeson is an underrated guitarist. There I said it. I feel like of the three of them (Geddy, Alex, and Neil) Alex gets talked about the least due to the fact that Geddy also plays guitar. While it might be a different brand of guitar some people forget just how genuinely face melting his solos are. I could listen to his riff in Tom Sawyer all day long I swear. I'm still working my way through every Rush album in chronological order (I'm just now finishing A Farewell To Kings an absolutely beautiful album.) But his skills are not one to be downsized and I think he is an amazing, amazing guitar player.

* You want to talk about the group goofball? If Geddy is goofy, you look in the dictionary this man is the pure definition of a hilarious and quirky character. When Rush was FINALLY indicted into the Rock N'Roll hall of fame in 2013, after Neil and Geddy's beautiful and moving speech's about how important this means to them, Alex gets up there and his entire speech is spoken in very animated BLAHs. But what's really funny is that if you watch carefully he is actually trying to tell you a story. It's a story about how they all got there past the critics that tried to stop them along the way.

* I love the relationship between Alex and Geddy especially. They're just both such unique kinds of people but they have similar quirks and traits that are evidence of decades upon decades of friendship. I get massive big bro vibes from watching the three of them play together and it's really touching that they never let the fame go to their heads.

* While watching the documentary, I found myself in awe of just his general personality. He was a jokester and the life of the party, and even if sometimes Neil was exhausted by his presence it was obvious that he loved his bros.

Neil Peart:

* If you are asking me, the heart and soul of Rush, was their drummer Neil Peart. Neil wasn't just their drummer though, he also wrote all of Rush's songs after their first album together. Neil grew up probably the biggest bookworm to ever bookworm. He was a socially awkward kid it seemed since he was always reading as his parents explained in the documentary (more on this laster). This resulted in lyrics that are absolutely gorgeous in any context and sound like literature themselves. One of my favorite Rush songs is their song Rivendale themed to Lord Of The Rings.

* Peart was one of the most technically amazing drummers of all time. I don't think I'm saying new information when I say that. He has been praised for not only his technical prowess but the intensity of how he played as well. He was a force of nature when you put him in front of a drum kit. The drum solos in Rush are not easy. They are technically extremely difficult and always leave me to collect my jaw from the floor.

* Lyrically speaking, his lyrics were so intelligent and beautifully worded that it's hard to focus on them sometimes. I've listened to Fly By Night I can't tell you how many times just within the last few months. They are so unique, so beautiful, just so Rush. I can't think of any other word to describe them other than Rush. Nobody else could have written lyrics like these other than Neil himself. Even though he's gone now (Rest In Power you absolute Mad Lad.) I still feel like his music will resonate with millions of future generations to come. It could be the year 3000 for all I care and people will still be jamming to Tom Swayer, just you watch.

* Lastly about Neil himself, this is of the opinion of my mom and I, and you heard it here first, I think that Neil was aspie. He was the quietest of the three of them, he hated getting spotted by fans while the other two seem to tolerate it, he was constantly stimming with his drumsticks on and off the stage by spinning them around his fingers, he was totally nerdy and antisocial, he loved literature more than anything else growing up and would rather have a book in his hands than go out to a public place with his classmates, and he grieved in a different way than most people do. When his wife and daughter passed away, he hit the road with his motorcycle and most often Geddy and Alex wouldn't hear from him for months at a time. They had cute little nicknames for each other that Neil would always sign the postcards with. It was a different one every single time.

Thanks for listening to me ramble on this day guys! I really appreciate it, I know that this hasn't been your regularly schedule Dot programming but I really appreciate you sticking around! Give Rush a listen to if I've piqued your interest you will not regret it.

[bangtan-sonyeonddaeng]

Got7 reaction: They become distant from you

Jaebeom

You had barely spoken to 5 words to each other over the past few days. So many thoughts were buzzing around in your head. Did he even still love you anymore? Was he going to leave you? Did he meet someone else? You’d barely slept over the past nights and could feel the exhaustion settling in. But you still couldn’t sleep until you got an answer. You opened up your phone to your last message which was 5 days ago. He had cancelled on your date night and you decided to just stop trying to contact him and wait for him to talk to you. Of course he didn’t. 

Do you even still want to be with me anymore? Or should we break up be honest with me. 

It was an hour later when you finally got a response.

?? 

What??? 

Hang on I’m calling you. 

Sure enough you see his photo popping up on the screen with a video call. You answer it.

“What do you mean should we break up? Do you want to?”

“Do I want to? No, absolutely not but you’ve been so distant from me lately I can’t help but wonder if you even still love me.” 

“Of course I still love you. Why would you think that I don’t?”

“Do you even realize how long it’s been since we’ve last spoken to each other?” He looks away from the screen as if he’s trying to remember.

“Yesterday?”

“5 days ago, Jaebeom. 5 days.” His face falls at that. 

“Y/n I am so sorry. I’ve been in the studio working on our new album and time got away from me. I’ve been a horrible boyfriend to make you think I didn’t love you anymore.” You sigh and look away from the phone. 

“Yeah you kind of have been.” 

“Let me make it up to you. I’ll come to your home and stay with you for the next 5 days to make up for it. We’ll spend every day together.”

“Can you do that with your comeback coming up?”

“I’m not going to ask I’m just going to do it. I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“Okay..”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Mark

You noticed after a few months into your relationship that Mark had started to distance himself from you. You still talked, and he came to see you. But when he did he barely hugged you or kissed you anymore and whenever you tried to initiate skinship he would move away from you. You knew something was obviously wrong but you also couldn’t stop that nagging voice in your head that said maybe he just didn’t love you anymore. So you decided the next time he came over you would talk to him about it. You two had ate dinner together, and then Mark immediately stood up from the table but you asked him to stay. 

“I need to talk to you about something.” His shoulders tense up but he sits back down, not meeting your gaze. “What’s going on lately?”

“What do you mean?”

“Mark you know what I’m talking about.” He sighs and rubs his face with his hands. 

“I just... I really love you. Like a lot and it scares me. What if when we go public with our relationship the attention is too much for you? What if you decide you don’t always want to be in the spotlight and leave? I’ve just been so worried with these thoughts plaguing my mind and I just pushed you away.. I’m sorry.”

“So you were afraid of losing me... but pushed me away anyway?”

“Well when you put it like that it sounds rather foolish huh?” You giggle at that and stand up from the table and walk over to his chair, pulling him up into a hug. 

“Mark, listen to me. I knew what I was signing up for the moment I agreed to be yours. I am prepared to deal with everything that is going to be thrown our way when our relationship is public. Have a little more trust in me, okay?” He kisses the top of your head. 

“It’s not that I didn’t trust you I just was worried is all.”

“Well don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere. I love you too much.”

“I love you too.”

Jackson

Jackson was stressed to say the least. He had a comeback coming up with Got7, plus a solo project coming up, a list of artists that wanted to collab with him, and a clothing line that was dropping. He barely had time to breathe. So the second he got home and his head hit the pillow he was out. He hadn’t talked to you in quite some time and he knew that. He felt horrible. So he jumped in to take an ice cold shower to wake him up so he could talk to you. He called you, and you didn’t answer. He tried calling again and you declined the call. So he texted you.

Y/n?

What

What are you doing?

Oh now you suddenly care? Did you remember that you have a significant other?

Please answer the phone. 

He calls you again and this time you do answer. You don’t say anything and you wait for him to talk first. 

“Is ‘I’m sorry’ going to make up for anything?”

“It’s certainly a start. An explanation would be better. Thought you went missing so I texted Jinyoung and he told me he had seen you plenty of times at the studio.”

“Y/n I can explain. There’s been so much going on lately with our comeback, and my solo projects. I think I’ve only slept for 5 hours in the last 2 days. I was stressed and exhausted and the only thing I had time for was to eat and sleep.”

“You still could have texted me and told me that. It would have taken 10 seconds and I would have understood. I would never try to come between you and your career don’t you know that by now?”

“You’re right. I should have. I just wasn’t thinking. The lack of sleep will do that to you.” You are quiet for a few moments before you speak in a gentle voice. 

“Are you okay?”

“No, not really. But I have the next few days off finally so I can finally rest. And come to see you of course!”

“Jackson if you’ve been working that much you need to sleep, don’t worry about me I can wait.” 

“No absolutely not. You’ve been waiting long enough and I’ve been neglecting you. I’ll sleep tonight and then we can go out for lunch tomorrow and we’ll spend the next few days together. Is that okay?”

“Yeah just... don’t disappear on me again, okay?”

“I promise I won’t. I love you.”

Jinyoung

You were sleeping and woke up to the sound of knocking on your front door. You glanced at the clock and saw it was past midnight. You ignored the knocking, assuming that whoever it was had the wrong house. However it didn’t stop and only got louder. You sighed and threw the covers off of you, putting on your slippers and walking to the door. You glanced through the peephole to see your boyfriend standing there. At least you think he is still your boyfriend. He’s been very distant from you and honestly at this point you weren’t sure what to think. You unlock the door and open it and he’s holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers with a sheepish look on his face. 

“So is this the part where you ask for forgiveness?”

“No. Because I don’t deserve it. I’m just going to say I am sorry. You don’t have to forgive me.” He hands you the flowers and steps away from you, giving you the option to close the door in his face if you want to. However you step aside and gesture for him to come in. You both sit on the couch as you wait for him to talk to you. He had been avoiding you since you told him you loved him. He didn’t say it back, just kissed you and walked away and barely talked to you after. 

“I don’t really know what to say... I panicked I guess? I never fell for someone as quickly as I did for you and hearing you say you loved me out loud just made all those feelings real and hit me all at once. I was worried, going over so many different scenarios. What if our fans weren’t happy and sent hate to you or threatened you? What if the company didn’t approve and told us to continue to keep our relationship a secret or even worse, break up with you? I didn’t know if I was ready to say it back.” You take in his words and consider his feelings, although you’re still upset with him for ignoring you, you can’t say you don’t understand. 

“Why couldn’t you have just told me that?”

“I really don’t know. I was worried you wouldn’t understand, I guess.” You shake your head. 

“I would have if you just talked to me. That would have been so much better than me sitting here thinking I scared you off and this was just some fling to you.”

“I’m really sorry. It wasn’t just some fling to me, you mean so much more to me than that. I realized that I don’t care what other people think. I... love you too. So much. I don’t want to keep us a secret anymore, and I don’t care about whatever backlash comes. I just want to be happy with you.” Your heart melts when you see the sincerity in his eyes and you can’t help but kiss him. It’s gentle and sweet, him trying to portray how sorry he was and you trying to show your forgiveness. It must have worked because when you pull away he’s finally smiling at you again. 

“I promise I won’t make that same mistake. I’m going to keep you close to me and not let go again.”

Youngjae

Youngjae came home and collapsed in bed. It was another late night. He was surprised to find that you weren’t in bed next to him.

“Y/n?” He calls your name but gets no response. He goes out to the living room wondering if you fell asleep watching TV but you aren’t there either. Panic is slightly starting to take hold as he searches the whole apartment and still hasn’t found you. You couldn’t be in the guest room, could you? He opens the door and finds you laying there with your back to the door. He approaches you and can tell you have been crying by the tear marks on your cheeks and the puffyness of your eyes. He crawls into bed behind you and wraps his arms around you, placing a kiss to the back of your head. 

“Y/n? Angel, wake up. What’s wrong, why were you crying?” You scoot away from him closer to the wall and throw the blanket over your head,  his heart breaks a little. “Are you mad at me?” 

“Yes... No. A little.” Your quiet voice comes from under the blanket.

“What’s wrong?” You throw the blanket off and glare at him. 

“I don’t know, you tell me. You’ve been so distant lately and whenever I try to talk to you about it you avoid me or just flat out ignore me.” Had he been? He really had his mind in another place these past few weeks and he feels terrible. 

“I didn’t realize I had been acting that way. Really. I’ve been so focused on other things that I have been neglecting you and that’s not okay. I’m sorry.” He lets you go and moves to give you space but you grab him and pull his arms back around you.

“I understand you’re busy. Really I do. But just.. don’t ignore me? Check in with me once in a while and let me know you’re still alive and still love me?”

“My love for you is never going to change. But I promise no matter how busy I am, I will make sure to tell you once a day. Maybe even multiple times a day. You’re going to be smothered in so much love you won’t even know what to do with yourself.” He attacks your face with kisses and you giggle happily as he continues placing kisses all over your face before placing a final one to your lips. “I’ll do better. I promise.”

Bambam 

“Guys this has to be perfect. It’s our 1 year anniversary and I want y/n to know how much I love them and that this past year has been the happiest I have ever been.” 

“We got you, Bam! Don’t worry!” Yugyeom gives him a thumbs up and finishes hanging up the last of the fairy lights around the rooftop set up. He had a table and chairs for you two to eat together, and a little blanket/pillow fort surrounded by fairy lights to watch the sunset and stargaze together. He even brought a speaker so you two could dance together. He wanted tonight to be perfect. He’s picturing the wonderful night you two will have together when suddenly Jackson throws the door open, looking rather annoyed. 

“Bambam you’re an idiot you know that?”

“Um.. some context would be nice?”

“You’ve been planning this whole wonderful great surprise for y/n but when was the last time you talked to them? Y/n just called me crying asking me if you were going to break up and said that you don’t love them anymore.” Bambam’s heart sinks into his stomach.

“What now? Oh my god. I really have been distant while I’ve been planning all of this. I didn’t even call y/n this morning to say happy anniversary. Oh my god you’re right I am an idiot. I need to go.” He goes to run out the door but Jackson grabs him and pulls him back.

“You stay here. I told y/n I would pick them up so you two could talk face to face. Don’t worry okay? I assured them that couldn’t be farther from the truth.”

The 30 minutes it took for Jackson to pick you up and bring you there felt like 3 hours. He was pacing back and forth and when he heard the door open he immediately ran to you and pulled you into a hug.

“I’m so sorry! I was planning this big surprise for you and I completely forgot to be a boyfriend in the process because I was so focused on this.” You open your eyes and glance around him and see everything he has set up for you. You gasp and pull away. 

“You did all of this for me?”

“I did. I wanted our first anniversary to be special. I love you so much and I would never want to end things with you.” You can’t help but smile and feel tears collecting in your eyes.  “Ah don’t cry!” He lifts his hand up to cup your face and wipes away your tears.

“I’m not sad anymore. I’m just relieved and happy. And amazed that you did all of this for me. Thank you.”

“Of course. I would do anything for you.”

Yugyeom

Yugyeom was surprised when he heard you talking to your friend. He came to your apartment to surprise you for a visit. He had a spare key and let himself in, but could hear you were on the phone. He knew he’d been barely talking to you over the past week because he was working on a few choreographies. But he never imagined it would make you think he didn’t love you anymore. 

“I’ve called him and it goes to voicemail. Sometimes he declines my call... I don’t know what to do, what if he doesn’t love me anymore?.... Yeah I’ll talk to him. If he ever answers my calls. Thanks for listening to me rant. Bye.” 

He hears you sigh and flop back onto the bed. He knocks softly on the wall since your door is open and peeks his head in. 

“Yugyeom?”

“Hi, baby.” He walks into the room and practically collapses on top of you, hugging you as tightly as he can. “I’m so sorry y/n. I’ve been so busy with this choreography and I’ve been completely neglecting you. I came here to surprise you and take you out to dinner today but, I understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore. Just know that I do love you and if you want to be with me I’ll make sure you never doubt it again.” You’re quiet for a moment but then gently run your fingers through his hair and pat his head. 

“Silly. I’m not going to leave you. I just was worried that’s all. But hearing you say you still love me makes me feel better. Just.. from now on if you’re busy with work just tell me. Don’t leave me in the dark, okay?” He lifts his head up and kisses your forehead. 

“Okay. Deal. Do you still want to go out to eat with me?”

“I’d love to. It’s a good start to you making it up to me.” He chuckles and rolls off of you. 

“Alright. Let’s go then. I guess I have a lot of making up to do.” 

[dragonsruby]

I have been unable to stop listening to SaL's song 'Overture III / Awake' lately, and while the whole song is absolutely gorgeous, the OPENING LYRICS... Oh gosh...

So what do I do now?

Sunrise, I'll set it into motion

Pick up right where I left off

I'll make up for all the time I've lost

Okay, maybe not

Daybreak, I'll make amends

For yesterday's 24 failed attempts

Now I'm afraid I'll lose my way

Before another day ends

Today, I'll survive

Tomorrow, I'll make sense of my life

It's just a matter of time

Our stories will keep us alive

It's just a matter of time

Also 'fun' fact that I feel is important to share. According to the podcast, Overture / Awake, as the first song of the album Atlas III, was written as a response to Atlas II's final song Nine, a very personal song to Ryan as the writing process sparked an identity crisis that lasted for a very long time. The lyrics directly reflect that, with the opening stating that he had "been sleepwalking since [he] was fourteen" and the ending stating the conclusion he came to upon the end of the crisis; "To know and love ourselves and others well is the most difficult and meaningful work we'll ever do." As the response to Nine, Overture III / Awake opens with the line that Ryan had upon the conclusion of his personal awakening: "So what do I do now?"