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tightjeansjavi · 6 months

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Slow Hands | Chapter 8

“If I ever were to lose you, I’d surely lose myself”

A/N: This chapter has taken me weeks to write, but I am so happy with the final results. This is another doozy, so tread carefully. Thank you for your endless support and love. 🤍

~word count: 7.0k~

Pairing | Joel Miller x f! reader

Summary: Joel tells you what happened to him and Ellie before they returned to Jackson.

Warnings: angst, anxiety, trauma, mentions of death, child loss, grief, fluff, flirting, another almost kissing situation, lots of flashbacks, mentions of a miscarriage, mild alcohol consumption, Joel gets a little shy, hurt, comfort, protective! Joel, Joel whump, mentions of alcohol consumption, self deprecating thoughts/actions, anger, frustration, alluding to past traumas, no age gap, reader has no physical descriptions, reader's nickname is beanie (coffee beans) +18, minors dni! heed the warnings please this is a very very heavy chapter.

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Angie was a real sweetheart. A country classic that you’d want to play over and over again. Toffee butter sweet with pure southern charm. She was one of the kitchen staff ladies working in the mess hall. She loved to cook. She prepared food straight from her soul that warmed the hearts, and kept all the bellies full in Jackson. Her bubbly spirit was a decoy to mask her ceaseless grief that weighed heavy on her mangled heartstrings that were poorly sewn back together with a dull needle and thread. She recently went through a misscarriage. The brutal endless cycle of life in all its beauty and cruelty swinging like a pendulum. Angie was forever grateful when you and Joel appeared on her doorstep with Honey the fawn tucked protectively in your arms.

“She miscarried last fall. Right before the leaves started turnin.’” He whispered softly to you as he reached up and thrummed his knuckles against the chipped paint on the wooden doorframe.

Angie struggled to let go of her loss. She held onto the hand-me down infant clothes. The baby booties, swaddling cloths and the bottles. Grief causes even the strongest people to break as the world as they know it shatters around them. They try to claw and grasp what little remains of that person, whether they existed in the world yet did not matter. Angie took one look at that innocence bundled in your arms and she immediately darted off to the kitchen. She returned moments later with a swaddling cloth and baby bottle that showed the faint remnants of little hearts and flowers. The decals were peeling upwards like a bandaid, but it was a small token of kindness that this poor woman had to offer for the cost of nothing.

Joel thanked her with a gentle squeeze to her shoulder. Tender hands that could bruise, tender hands that could heal.

Angie only could nod as she quickly wiped away her dewy tears that rolled down her cheeks and dripped down the curve of her chin. Her eyes were glassy, her lower lip trembled under the soft blooming glow of the porchlight overhead. She reached one quivering hand out to gently stroke the soft fur on Honey’s head.

A moment of silence followed by the swishing sound of the front door slamming shut.

Oh, Angie. You deserved so much better than the cards you were dealt.

The walk back to Joel’s home was one in deafening silence. He kicked a stray rock along the ground with the toe of his boot as his arms hung at his slides. He appeared to be deep in thought as you tried to meet his gaze. He was as hard as a stone with furrowed brows. Grief was so prominent, even in a town that was built around ‘peace.’ Grief was there in every corner. Every crack and crevice down to a grain of rice. Even in a garden of Eden, grief sprouted from the stems.

“She likes you.” He murmured gently as he pushed open his front door with a soft huff through his chapped lips. “Honey.” He added.

“I hope she survives the night.” Was the first thought that popped up into your mind as you met his thoughtful gaze.

“She will. She’s n’good hands with you’n me.” He reassured you as his hand came to gently rest along your lower back as he nudged you tenderly inside as the front door softly swung shut behind you.

Honey had curiously peeked her head up from the safety of your flannel to observe her new surroundings as you slowly walked towards the well loved couch in the living area. Your knees cracked noticeably as you sank down onto the cushion.

“Y’want anythin’ to eat or drink while I warm some milk up for our little one?” Joel asked you as he padded towards the kitchen. Seconds later you heard the soft squeak of the refrigerator door opening as you sunk further into the plush cushions.

“Oh, that’s alright. Thank you for asking.”

“Not a problem, darlin.’” He hummed soothingly under his breath as he turned the burner on the stove. Once the milk was adequately warm, but not too hot, he poured it into the baby bottle. It was hard for a wave of nostalgia to not pass through him as he slowly blinked.

“S’matter baby girl? Y’want your baba? S’okay, daddy’s gonna get it for ya.” a considerably younger Joel spoke to baby Sarah in her crib. On the nights she couldn’t sleep, he’d fix her a warm bottle of milk and rock her to sleep on the old rocking chair that he and Tommy built with their bare hands. He’d sing lullabies in her ear and kiss her little head of soft curls.

Fuck.

He stared down at the baby bottle that was nearly engulfed by the sheer mass of his hand as his thumb slowly brushed across one of the peeling faded floral decals.

Fuck.

Keep it together, Joel.

Be still, my foolish heart. Be still.

Please.

God, please.

I’m good.

I’m fine.

Really, I’m okay.

God, she was so tiny.

Used to nearly fit in the palm of my hand.

Remember when she would cry and cry and cry?

Only person that could calm her down was you.

“Joel?” Your voice sounded so far from his reach as if he was across the ocean desperately trying to hone in the almost sweet music of your voice. Not here, not now. Please. He couldn’t shake the feeling of crisp trepidation as he slowly sunk down to his knees in the middle of the kitchen floor.

Breathe.

In and out.

Through your nose, out through your mouth.

Y’can do it.

She was so tiny. So pure. She was my babygirl.

He wanted to scream. He wanted to wail and throw his fists up towards the heavens but instead he sat in stoic silence as his ears rang like a mocking symphony that had him cowering from the harsh reality that he was presently facing.

“Joel?..” There you were again, but closer. Much closer as you went to investigate. The sight that laid before you took your breath away in a morbid fashion. Joel Miller on his knees looking like a man that had the weight of the world constantly pushing down on his aching shoulders. He was vulnerable in this state. He looked ten times smaller with his chin tightly tucked into his collarbone as if he was trying to appear as small as physically possible.

Your heart split in two to see him in this state as you slowly sank down to your knees in front of him. Grief was indescribable. It gnawed at a person with jagged teeth and sharp claws. A constant reminder that what you once held in your grasp, was no longer attainable. It was ripped from the roots, dry and brittle as precious life is stolen so swiftly.

His lips moved as he struggled to speak. To say anything, but nothing. No words could be formed as he stared down at the bottle in his hand. The slightest flinch from your unsuspecting touch upon his cheekbones as the palms of your hands gently caressed his face. “You okay?..” You asked in a hushed tone, keeping the octave of your voice level and gentle.

“No.” He murmured in defeat as his freehand slowly traveled up the length of your arm before resting along your cheek with the utmost delicate care.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You wanted to give him that choice. The open space to speak his feelings only if he chose to.

“Dunno. I jus’ needed to sit down.” He confirmed with a soft wheeze as he squeezed his eyes shut tightly.

“That’s okay, Joel. Sitting is good. It’s alright to rest. I’m right here.” You were, and you weren’t going anywhere.

“She was jus’ so tiny. Tiniest lil bean. With the cutest toes. A button nose. Used to have to give her a bottle at night when she couldn’t sleep. Would sit with her in the rockin’ chair for hours, singin’ her lullabies.” He croaked out as his chin slowly lifted as his dull faded eyes met yours.

You knew he was speaking of Sarah, and you also recognized his silent desperation for comfort. The baby bottle clutched in his trembling hand was the root cause for his current episode. Loss was so difficult to rationally explain sometimes. It was something that couldn’t be journalized as being the same for every person, because every single human being reacted in a different way. Loss was universal, and inevitable, but dealing with the grief that followed was structurally diverse in its nature.

“She was one lucky baby, getting to have you as her father. She loves you so much, Joel. She’s right here.” You slowly dropped one of your hands down from his face and gently rested it against the left side of his chest, right where his heart lay. “She’s always going to be right here.”

“Jus’ miss her so much. S’been creepin’ up on me lately. Feel like I’m seein’ her everywhere.” He felt discouraged as he slowly shook his head with a heavy sigh. “Thank you for being here with me. You don’t understand how much that means to me. To have..someone jus’ understand me.”

“I know how much you miss her, Joel. It’s better to let yourself feel everything instead of bottling it all up. I know how much it means to you. I’ll always be here to listen, for as long as you’ll have me.”

Hope to have you till the end of my days.

“Should–should probably give this to Honey before it gets too cold..” He trailed off as his thumb gently brushed across your cheekbone.

“Do you want to give it to her?..I bet she’d love it if you did. After all, you are the one who saved her.” You offered purely to encourage him only if he desired to.

“I’d love that. Help me up? Knees are feelin’ a little stiff.”

“Mine too.” You murmured as you slowly stood up and offered him your hand.

A ghost of a smile crossed over his features as he grasped your hand in his and pulled himself up from the floor.

He followed you into the living room where Honey was curled up in a fluffy little ball on the end of the couch. Her head perked up when she could smell the milk in the bottle as she struggled to stand on wobbly legs. Joel was right there to aid her as he gently scooped her up under his arm. Her fluffy little white tail wagged excitedly as she let out soft little bleating noises that sounded more like squeaks if anything.

“S’alright, baby. Got your bottle right here f’ya. Daddy’s got it for ya.” He softly cooed to the tiny creature.

You swore you saw a silent tear trail down his weathered cheek when Honey began to nurse from the baby bottle all the while he was gently petting down her tawny colored ears, and humming under his breath soothingly.

When Honey had consumed every last drop from the bottle she curled up right against Joel’s chest. She felt safe in the presence of you and Joel, which was quite obvious from the way she made herself right at home. Joel was careful to not disturb the sleeping creature as he reached his arm over and set the now empty bottle onto the nearby coffee table. The two of you fell into a comfortable relaxed silence, until the rumbling of Joel’s stomach interrupted it. The last meal he had was around breakfast time, and there wasn’t much substance to it. A cup of coffee, slightly rubbery scrambled eggs, and toast with butter. His appetite had been long forgotten since he and Tommy had stumbled upon the gruesome scene of the deceased doe while on patrol. Time seemingly had gone by in a whirlwind, and judging by the late evening light, it was far past dinnertime.

He shifted uncomfortably when his stomach rumbled again. This time it caught your attention from where you were sitting on the opposite end of the couch. You were currently reading one of Joel’s many coffee table books. Exploring Space, Dinosaur facts, The American Mustang, Woodworking for Dummies. You had chosen The American Mustang, and as soon as you heard his stomach grumble for the 5th time, you gently closed the book with your finger holding the page down before you looked over at him.

“Did you eat today, Joel?”

“Jus’ a bite of breakfast this mornin.’ Coffee, toast, and slightly rubbery eggs. Had the pan on a bit too high.” He softly responded as he lifted his chin slightly in your direction.

“I didn’t have much to eat today either. I could make us something?”

“Darlin,’ you ain’t gotta do that. You’re my guest after all. It wouldn’t be right if I just let ya cook f’me.” He was already attempting to gently lift Honey from her curled up position on his chest when you reached your hand out and gently grasped his forearm.

“Joel, it’s okay. I really don’t mind at all. We both should eat something.” You gave his forearm a reassuring squeeze before you pushed yourself up from the couch.

His eyes slowly followed your movements into the kitchen as he let out a deep sigh. “Y’know, it’s times like these where I wish that takeout still existed. What I wouldn’t do for a pizza right now.” He mumbled as he pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger.

“Dominos, or Papa Johns? You better answer wisely, Miller.” You peeked your head around the corner with a playful smile playing on your lips.

“S’that even a question? Papa Johns. I’d order extra of those goddamn garlic sauces because the amount they gave you was truly never enough. I wish they would have started selling it in tubs or somethin.’” He stifled a chuckle. “Dominos was a last minute resort that I regretted every goddamn time.”

“That garlic dipping sauce was to die for. There was also that really good family owned pizza place on Main Street. Napoli Per Tutti I think is what it was called? They had the best Neapolitan pizza that I ever had the pleasure of trying.” You chatted casually as you opened his fridge.

“Darlin,’ you’re killin’ me over here with all this pizza talk. I actually never tried that place before. Sarah mentioned it a few times, but we Millers like to stick to our roots.” He chimed in as he managed to very carefully, and very gently, move Honey off of his chest and onto the couch where he then proceeded to cocoon her in a blanket that was draped across the armrest of the couch.

“I don’t know the first thing about making a Neapolitan pizza, but I can certainly try? That’s assuming that you have all the basic ingredients of course.” You could hear the wooden floorboards creak under the weight of his feet as you slowly turned around with your arms across your chest. “Just couldn’t stay away, huh?”

He sheepishly grinned and rubbed the back of his neck with a slight shrug of his shoulders. “Can’t stay away when there’s pizza involved, darlin.’”

“Fair enough. All we’ll need for the dough is flour, yeast, water, salt, and I think olive oil?”

“Well, we definitely have flour..water and salt. Olive oil maybe, but does it expire? I haven’t done much cookin’ around here lately so I really don’t know what I've got in the cupboards.” He stepped around you with his arm just barely grazing yours as he opened up one of the many cupboards in the kitchen. “I’ll be damned. Guess we do have yeast and olive oil jus’ layin’ around here.” He reached for the packet of yeast and the bottle of olive oil before setting them down on the counter.

There was something oddly comforting for the two of you to be putzing around the kitchen like an old married couple. You fit right into Joel’s domestic budding life without even grasping the idea of it just yet. You worked together at making the dough, but once it came down to the kneading part, you let Joel take over. Maybe it was your cheeky plan all along to see his hands at work, or perhaps it was totally innocent. Regardless, it was hard to not let your wandering eyes drift across his exposed skin where he had rolled up the sleeves of his flannel revealing strong, veiny forearms. Some areas of his skin were littered in scars, and indentations from years of survival, but his hands were the main part of the show. Strong, weathered, yet gentle as he didn’t want to knead the dough too much. The tendons in his fingers flexed as his eyes drifted upwards towards you.

Gotcha.

“Like what ya see?” He rasped with a teasing grin.

Fuck, were you really staring that long?

You could feel the heat rise to your cheeks as a nervous laugh bubbled up your throat. You struggled to find your words. “Joel, i’m so sorry I shouldn’t–”

“Hey, Beanie? S’alright. You can stare for as long, and as much as you’d like.” He reassured you with a slight nod of his head.

So, this is where you flirt back.

OH!

Right.

“You just..have really attractive hands.” You murmured softly.

Joel cocked a brow at your answer as he looked over at you. “My..hands? What about ‘em are attractive?” He held the same genuine curiosity like the time you had complimented his eyes.

“Well they’re just..strong looking? Maybe that’s not the right verbiage that I'm going for here.” You trailed off.

“S’you don’t mind that they’re a lil rough lookin'?’ Take this hand for example, I’m pretty sure it never really properly healed after I beat the livin’ daylights outta a FEDRA soldier shortly after Tess and I agreed to take Ellie to the fireflies. Sometimes I’ll get like these ghost pains n’my knuckles is what I like to call ‘em.” He shrugged as he grabbed a towel to wipe the flour off from his hands.

“No, I don’t mind at all. I’d honestly be surprised if your hands weren’t at least a little bit damaged. Y’know? I get what you mean with the ghost pains. I get them too, but usually in my wrists and ankles. It’s almost like a tingling sensation.”

Joel felt his heart slowly sink to the pit of his stomach like the sun gradually dipping behind the horizon. It was easy for him to draw the conclusion as to why you’d feel these sensations in your wrists and ankles. There were visible scar indentations along the inside of your wrists. Based on the scarred tissue, it was probably due to them being bound together by zip ties, rope, or possibly even chains. He felt a shiver roll down his spine when he remembered the charred women in the forest having their wrists and ankles bound together by chains.

“Well, I think your hands are beautiful too, Beanie.” He murmured.

I think you're more beautiful than the stars, sun, and moon combined.

You smiled at him. That same soft smile that sent his heart beat skipping every time he was graced by the simple beauty of it. It was as if there was a magnetic force between the two of you that was working on overdrive to bring the two of you closer in proximity.

“Thank you, Joel. I’ve got a real nasty nail biting habit that spurs up every so often. I guess..after you brought me home from the bar, I absolutely tore my nails to shreds, but I had no recollection of it happening..”

“If it makes ya feel any better, I also have a nasty habit of picking at the skin around my nails till it bleeds. Ellie’s yelled at me for it numerous times, but no matter what I do, I can’t stop.”

“Maybe we can help each other break these habits? Or, at least show encouragement when we’re struggling?” You suggested.

“Yeah, I'd like that a lot actually. It’ll be a good way to hold ourselves accountable. Lord knows I need to sometimes.” He agreed. “Well, this dough is gonna have to sit for a bit before we can roll it out..whad’ya wanna do in the meantime?” He had his hands resting along the edge of the countertop that was lightly dusted in flour as he awaited your response.

“That’s a good question. Do you happen to have any records? Maybe we could listen to one? I have a good feeling in my bones that you have impeccable music taste.” You mused with a small grin spreading across your lips.

“Y’know, I actually do have a box of records in the living room. They ain’t mine, unfortunately. They were here when I moved in. There’s a lot of classics in the collection though. I’m sure we can find somethin’ that we both enjoy.” He tilted his head towards the direction of the living room.

You let Joel lead the way as he showed you the box containing the records. There was everything from the Beatles, Prince, Queen, Zeppelin, Frank Sinatra, and so on. “Well,” You started, “whoever lived here, clearly loved their music.”

“Ain’t that right.” his tone was slightly rasped as you made yourself comfortable on the floor with your legs crossed.

“You want a pillow?” He asked softly. “Might be a lil’ more comfy.”

You gave him a small nod in response as you began to carefully flip through the record albums.

He grabbed two pillows from the nearby couch without disturbing Honey before he joined you on the floor.

“Who’s your favorite? I know it’s a tough choice t’make. I don’t even think I could narrow mine down to five.” He chuckled warmly as he rested his weight back on his hands.

“Oh, gosh. I also don’t know if I could narrow it down..Stevie is definitely at the top of my list.”

“Ah, yeah. She was incredible. I was a big fan of Linda Ronstadt back in the day. Although, growin’ up, there wasn’t a song or artist that I didn’t enjoy.”

You slowly looked over at him as your fingers gently played with a torn edge on one of the records. “Was music a big part of your life?..Before, y’know.” You chose your words carefully as you watched him take a deep inhale.

“Yeah, it was. Used to be a big dreamer, believe it or not. Always wanted t’be a singer. Taught myself how to play the guitar, wrote a few songs here and there. None of them were very good, but I got a lotta joy out of it. Then when Sarah was born, I knew I had’to hold down a real job, and push that dream to the backburner. Spent a lot of time playin’ the guitar for her though. She loved it. Used to tease me n’tell me that I had a god awful singin’ voice.” He snickered.

Your giggle was soft, sweet, floating like a warm breeze. “Hey, I’m sure your singing isn’t that bad! It's wonderful that you found a lot of joy in that hobby. What about now? Do you still play the guitar here and there? Perhaps..sing in the shower like the rest of us?”

“Wouldn’t ya like t’know?” He wiggled his eyebrows playfully in your direction. “Yeah, I’ve picked it up here n’there. Started writin’ some lyrics as well. Maybe..one day I can play for ya? Give ya your own lil’ private concert, front row.”

“Yeah, you dork. That’s why I'm asking!” You giggled. “Wow, a private concert, just for me? Well, I'd be honored.”

“Mmm.” He hummed, “don’t go gettin’ your hopes up jus’ yet, but I think I can manage.” He shot you a subtle, yet playful wink. “Now, whad’ya got there? Frank Sinatra, You Make Me Feel So Young?”

“An oldie, for the oldies.”

“I ain’t that old, darlin.’” He scoffed playfully.

“Mhm. Let’s face it, we’re a little old, but silver looks good on you.”

“Not nearly as good as it looks on you.” He countered smoothly.

“Charming.��

“Jus’ tellin’ the truth, darlin.’”

“And they say chivalry is dead.” You were looking directly into his eyes which naturally sent a blush rising to his cheeks. Yeah, he had it pretty bad.

“Y’wanna give it a listen?” He offered with a sheepish grin.

“Absolutely.”

He reached for the vinyl, fingers gently brushing yours as he gently removed it from your grasp before he stood up. He shuffled over to the nearby record player that had been neglected for years. He blew off a bit of dust buildup that had naturally settled along the surface before he placed the vinyl down carefully.

The needle slowly fell into place as the old turntable crackled to life, flooding the small expanse of the room in sweet music.

You make me feel so young

You make me feel so Spring has sprung

And every time I see you grin

I'm such a happy individual

Joel watched the way your eyes suddenly lit up, bright, glassy, beautiful. Your energy was infectious as his knuckles lightly thrummed along the hardwood. He wanted to ask you to dance, to make up for what happened at the Tipsy Bison. Why was he so apprehensive? What did he have to fear?

Connection. Intimacy. Devotion.

You seemed to recognize the inner turmoil he was presently facing almost immediately. The nervous thrumming of his knuckles, the way his brows furrowed inward as if he was deep in thought. The light unmistakable pursing of his lips.

“Hey, Joel?”

He blinked once before his eyes hesitantly met yours, “Yeah, darlin?’”

“You wanna dance with me?..It can be like a redo for our first date?” Your thoughtful suggestion was as comforting as a warm summer breeze as his fingers absentmindedly inched closer towards yours.

“Y’wanna make up for that night?..Beanie, we don’t gotta–I mean..only if you want to?” He was nearly stumbling over his words by the time you had gently grabbed his hand and interlaced your fingers through his.

“C’mon,” You replied with a small smile tugging on the corner of your lips. “Dance with me, Joel.”

His hesitation was evident, at first, but your gentle smile, and kind eyes eased his nerves as you both slowly stood to your feet. You could feel how clammy his palm felt around your own as his other hand slowly dropped to his side. He wanted to hold your waist, but after everything that happened, he was apprehensive.

“It’s okay, Joel.” You reassured him as your free hand dipped down to his side and delicately wrapped your hand around his wrist before coaxing his hand to rest around your waist.

“I’m a shit dancer, honey.” He murmured low and soft as his fingers slightly flexed against your waist.

“Joel, don’t overthink it. Just dance.” You encouraged him with a reassuring smile.

When his nerves slowly began to dissipate, he fell into a rhythm as he spun you around playfully. He was less worried about accidentally stepping on your toes, and more focused on the way the soft glow of the kitchen lighting bounced off your skin. How pretty you looked. How your eyes never seemed to leave his. The increased thrum of his heart drowned out the soothing crackle from the tabletop. All he could see was you.

It was as if a magnet was slowly pulling you in closer. The gravitational pull, foreheads touching, noses brushing, exchange of breaths. So close. So close. You could nearly taste him on your tongue–

“Beanie..” He breathed out. Pausing. Thinking. Just ask her. The worst she can say is no.

“Can I–”

“Please. Please kiss me, Joel.” Your thoughts were swirling, tumbling like a shaken up jar of marbles. You wanted him so bad. Terribly. You wanted and yearned to know what it possibly felt like to be kissed by Joel Miller. The moment was there in your grasps, and gone in a flash from the distinct creaking sound of the front door opening.

Ellie’s footsteps were soft along the floorboard as she pulled the door shut behind her. She was hoping that Joel wasn’t home. She wasn’t ready to confront him after what took place at the Tipsy Bison just a few nights prior. She was still hurting. Her curiosity got the best of her in the end when she saw that the kitchen light was on.

“Joel?..” She rounded the corner, eyes going wide, cheeks turning a deep bright red as she caught the moment you and Joel nearly kissed. She squeaked a fast apology, “Shit, I’m so sorry!” before darting out of the room like a bat out of hell.

You and Joel were startled by her presence to say the least. His eyes went wide before he was dropping his hand from your waist. He murmured an apology of his own before he slipped out of the kitchen to follow his kid.

“Ellie, wait! Kiddo, can we please–” He was hot on her heels as she scurried up the stairs and b-lined to her bedroom. If he was there a second sooner, he would have stopped her from slamming the door in his face.

“Kiddo, please. I jus’ wanna talk.” He sounded gravely defeated as his forehead came to rest upon the chipping paint on her bedroom door. He could hear her muttering to herself as she stuffed her backpack with overnight clothes.

Moments later the door flung open as she brushed past him with her bag slung over her shoulder.

“Ellie.” He tried one more time.

“I don’t want to talk to you, Joel. Sorry for interrupting your date.” She muttered before jogging down the staircase.

“Kiddo, please. I’m sorry.”

“I’m going to Dina’s.” Was her short response. He could detect the hurt in her voice as he pathetically watched her disappear through the front door once more. The entire house was silent as he scrubbed a weathered hand across his patchy beard. Healing took time, he reminded himself. It didn’t happen overnight, but fuck. He missed his baby girl so much.

The old floorboards of the staircase groaned under his heavy footsteps as he trudged back down the stairs. His brain was telling him that it was time to call it a night. Send you home so you didn’t have to witness his pain at the forefront. His heart told him differently. His heart urged him to seek out your comfort, so he did.

He found you right in the kitchen where he left you. You had just taken the freshly made pizza dough out of the fridge and set it out on the counter. Your eyes slowly flitted upwards at the sound of his footsteps.

“Hey, I think the dough is ready to be rolled out. Want to give me a hand?”

Bless you.

“Yeah, of course. I’m sorry for runnin’ off like that. She’s been avoidin’ me since that night at the Tipsy Bison.” He admitted in a hushed tone.

“It’s okay, Joel. You don’t have to apologize for that. Did you..want to talk about it?”

“No, not right now. Let's just..make these pizzas. I’m starving.” He sighed, feeling his own mental and emotional exhaustion begin to way down on him like a bag of cement.

He met you on the other side of the counter, shoulders brushing as he pulled out a rolling pin from one of the drawers. You rolled out half the dough in silence together. It was almost as if you were sharing the weight of his present grief, soaking it in and absorbing it like a sponge.

Once the pizzas were dressed and popped in the oven, he wiped down the counter before grabbing a glass from one of the overhead cabinets. “I uh–really could use a drink. Would you like one? I’ve got wine and some spirits.”

“I’ll have whatever you’re having, Joel.”

“Whiskey it is then.” He murmured as he grabbed another glass. “I really don’t usually drink. I jus–’ need somethin’ right now.” He didn’t know why he felt like he needed to explain himself to you, but it was too late to take his words back when they were already spoken.

“Joel, you don’t have to give me a reason as to why you need a drink right now. We all have our vices, and I hold no judgment towards yours.”

“I know I don’t have to explain myself to you, Beanie. I’m jus–’ I'm not okay right now. I don’t know whether I should laugh, cry, punch a fucking wall in.” He muttered bitterly as closed the cabinet door a bit too harshly. He shuffled past you to the wet bar area where he snatched up the bottle of whiskey with trembling fingers. He popped the cap off with his teeth as he poured a hefty splash of amber-colored liquor into his glass. He was considerate enough to give you half of what he was having.

“Joel, I know you’re not okay right now. Do you want me to?..”

“No.” He croaked softly, “No. I don’t want you to leave, please.” He took a sizable sip from his glass before he returned to your side, sliding your glass over.

“Okay, I won’t go, but is there anything you..need from me?” Your hand slowly grasped the crystal glass before raising it to your lips. The warmth of the liquor coated your insides like sticky molasses. It had a twinge of smoke, finished off with a hint of cinnamon. In short, it was fucking delicious.

“I don’t know.” He admitted somberly before he slowly sank down to the kitchen floor with his back resting against the oak cabinets, and the glass resting in his hand between his knees as his head fell back with a soft thud.

You descended alongside him with your legs outstretched, and ankles crossed. Sometimes all a person needed was a gentle soul. A wordless extended notion of comfort. Sometimes that was enough, but sometimes a person needed more. Whatever Joel needed in those crucial moments, you’d be there.

“Can I be honest with you?” He broke through the growing silence with a heavy huff through his lips.

“Of course.”

“I am fucking terrified of losing every goddamn person that I love, Beanie. I’m terrified of losing my brother. I’m terrified of losing my daughter, and I'm terrified..of losing you. I feel like a broken record that can’t quite find its rhythm because the vinyl is scratched, and the needle keeps catching. Do..you get what i’m sayin?’” His head slowly turned to meet your eyes.

Your heart skipped a monumental beat when he said that he was terrified of losing every person that he loved, and that you had made the cut. (not that there was one to make). You ignored the butterflies fluttering in your stomach, and focused on him, and his willingness to rawly communicate with you.

“Joel, I understand why you are terrified, but you haven’t lost Tommy, Ellie, or me. We’re all right here. I don’t think you sound like a broken record at all. Try and show yourself a bit of compassion, okay?”

He stifled a bitter chuckle as he brought the rim of the glass back to his lips. He took another sip before he closed his eyes.

“Beanie, I don’t think you’d be tellin’ me to have some compassion for myself if you knew what I've done, the people I've killed, the choices I've made. I ain’t a good person. No matter how many times I have tried to justify my actions, I ain’t a saint.”

“Joel, do you think that anyone is truly a saint? Do you believe that we’re all innately good? That we’ve never hurt a friend, or said words we didn’t mean? Joel, even if the outbreak never happened, and we didn’t lose the people we loved, we still would be making mistakes. We still would be hurting people whether it was intentional or not. I mean this with full honesty, your past isn’t going to scar me. It isn’t going to make me think of you in a darker light, because goddamnit, we all had to fucking make some hard choices in the name of survival. I’ve killed people too, you know that, right? I lost count years ago. I lost my fucking faith in the shreds left in the remants of humanity until–” you felt yourself choking up with tears welling along your waterline, and your words lodged in your throat, clawing to be set free.

“Beanie–”

“No, please. Please just let me finish, okay? Joel, you’re so incredibly hard on yourself, and hell, we all are. I just want you to realize that you are not a bad person. You’re not a bad man. You’re not some evil monster lurking in the shadows. You’re a fucking human being that has spent over 20 years trying to survive. You have endured and survived up until this point. You and Ellie will be okay. She’s hurting, and so are you, but one day she will forgive you, for whatever it is that you have done. She needs time to heal, and so do you.” You felt mildly exasperated from the energy you were exerting.

Joel was speechless. He was floored as his pupils were blown out wide. His jaw physically dropped. He scrambled to gather his thoughts so that he could come up with a well-rounded response. He struggled with his words, as you knew. All he knew is that he had to be just as vulnerable as you were being.

“I killed an entire hospital of fireflies. I killed every single one of them to save her. To save my Ellie. My light. They were going to kill her, Beanie. Ellie is immune. She’s the only one. Marlene told me that the doctor that was going to perform the surgery on her thinks that the Cordyceps has grown with her since birth. Because it’s adapted to her, it tricks the normal Cordyceps into thinking that Ellie is one of them. That’s the reason why she is immune. Tess and I were taking Ellie to the fireflies because I made a promise to Marlene. It turned into something else along the way. I grew to care for Ellie as if she was my own. I even–I even told her that we didn’t have to keep going. We could come back to Tommy’s and forget all about the fireflies. My baby girl didn’t want that. She wanted to save the fuckin’ world, but she didn’t want to die. I know she didn’t want to die, Beanie. She thought that after it was all said and done, that we would be going home together.

“And when we’re done, we’ll go wherever you want, Joel.” Ellie reassured him.

“Tommy’s, sheep ranch, the moon.”

“I’ll follow you anywhere you go.”

“But there’s no halfway with this.”

“We finish what we started.”

Ellie was determined to use her immunity to save the world, and Joel couldn’t stop her.

“Ellie..is immune?” You whispered softly as the weight of Joel’s words sunk deep into your soul.

“Yes, she is. You have to promise me that you won’t tell anyone, Beanie. Not even Maria knows. Only Tommy and I. The rest of the community would turn to chaos if they knew.”

“The fireflies were looking for a cure, and Ellie was the answer? But, Cordyceps–”

“Grow inside the brain.” He deadpanned as he finished off what was left in the contents of his glass. “I did what I had to do to save her, and if I had to go back and do it all over again, I would. She didn’t want to die. She never consented to the surgery. Marlene never gave her the option, and neither did I. The worst bit? Beanie, I lied to her. I told her that there were more people like her. People who were immune. I told her there were dozens like her, and that the doctors couldn’t actually make any of it work. That they’ve stopped looking for a cure entirely.”

“They’ve stopped lookin’ for a cure.”

“Where are my clothes?” Ellie mumbled.

“Raiders attacked the hospital. I barely got ya outta there, kiddo.” he squeezed the steering wheel tightly as he lied through his teeth.

“Were people hurt?..”

“Yes.” He didn’t lie.

“Is Marlene okay?”

Joel paused as he glanced back at his daughter through the rearview mirror.

“I’m takin’ us home.”

“You never told her the truth, did you?” You knew the answer, but you wanted him to confirm it.

“No, I did tell her, and she hates me for lying and taking that choice away from her. She feels like..she holds no purpose in life now, and it’s all my fault.”

“Joel, you did what every parent would have done for their child. Biological or not, she is your daughter. She was in danger, and you saved her. I can’t blame her for the way she currently feels towards you. Her emotions are valid, and you should have never lied to her. You should have told her the truth from the start, but I understand why you didn’t tell her. You felt ashamed of your actions.”

“I just wanted to protect her.” He murmured as his eyes casted downwards.

You reached your hand out and gently grasped his shoulder and gave it a firm, grounding squeeze.

“Joel, you did just that. You protected her. You saved her. You saved the world.”

His own eyes began to water. His lower lip trembled, wobbled with uncertainty as his glassy irises met yours.

“You’re right. I did save the world.”

And then, you were hugging.

His tears and your own fell freely as you cradled his head protectively against your chest with your chin resting gently against the top of his head. Your fingers threaded through his soft salt and pepper tendrils as he enveloped your frame in his strong arms. The oven dinged signaling that the pizza was ready, but neither of you moved an inch.

“Spend the night with me, Beanie. Please.” His words fell heavy on his tongue. His heart begging you with a steady thrum to stay.

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a-soft-hornytiny · 1 year

Text

On bad days.

Summary: You struggle to pick out an outfit for your date with Jongho and he helps you get ready.

Word count: 1.2k+

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: body dysmorphia, frustration, non-sexual nakedness (or maybe a bit sexual) but not really, Jongho is the sweetest bean beware of a sugar shock (let me know if I missed something) be careful while reading.

Notes: for anyone who needs this rn <3 you are beautiful the way you are. requested by @euphoric-emily16

Taglist: under the cut (let me know if you wanna be added)

———————

“Oh come on!!” You pulled the shirt above your head and threw it onto the ground. You were frustrated. It was the fifth outfit you had picked out for the date with your boyfriend Jongho at this fancy restaurant but nothing felt right.

The pants were always too tight, showing your belly more than you wanted, the skirts were too short, revealing your thighs and legs which you were so insecure about and every top you tried on sticked to your body in an uncomfortable way.

All you wanted was to get into a hoodie and sweatpants and bury yourself in your blankets so you didn’t have to look at yourself anymore. Not only at yourself but the disappointment on Jongho’s face when he sees you far from ready, even though the reservation was in less than an hour.

You felt tears swell up in your eyes. I’m so annoying, why do I always cry about nothing? You asked yourself as you wiped the tears from your eyes. Why can’t I just wear anything? Why does it have to feel good? I’m such a bother.. if Jongho finds me like-

“Y/n? Are you alright? I heard you swearing.” Jongho’s voice was right behind your bedroom door and you heard a soft knock.

You sighed deeply. “Come in..” You said, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to avoid the confrontation.

Jongho entered the room and you could see how his eyes were scanning it. Noticing all the pieces of clothing spread on the floor and on your bed. Finally his eyes stopped at you. You were sitting at the foot of your bed, shoulders slouching down and only wearing a pair of jeans and underwear. But Jongho understood immediately.

“Can’t find something that feels good?” He asked, causing you to lose the last bit of control you had. You started sobbing. How did you deserve him? He didn’t ask ‘nothing to wear?’ or ‘can’t find something that fits?’ or was annoyed because of the state or your room. No. He immediately knew that it was the feelings that were the problem.

You were so caught up in thinking that you didn’t even realize that Jongho had come to hug you. He stood in front of you, pushing your face against his stomach as he gently caressed your back.

“Want me to help you?” His voice was soft, nearly a whisper. You nodded slowly. He giggled. “I’m going to make sure that you’re the most beautiful person in that whole building.” He said, completely serious. You couldn’t help but smile a little.

“That’s not possible.” You responded, laughing but still wiping tears off of your face. Jongho immediately put his hand under your chin to make you look up.

“In my world you will always be the most beautiful person in the room.” He whispered, gently pressing his lips onto yours. It was a short and loving kiss but you still blushed. Compliments were your guilty pleasure and no matter how often he called you beautiful, you would always blush.

“Now where do we start?” He rubbed his hands against each other as if he was making an evil plan.

“I say you go to the bathroom, wash your face and put skin care on. In that time I’ll pick an outfit and then we’ll meet again here at your make-up desk so I can do your make-up.” He elaborated, already diving into your closet.

On your way to the bathroom you let out a little giggle. He always knew exactly how to make you feel better. Even if he was annoyed or in a rush, he wouldn’t show it. He would put on a smile and motivate and help you. That’s what you loved about him. He knew that fighting and accusations wouldn’t make anything better.

When you came back into your room after preparing your face for make-up, it was a bigger mess than before. All sorts of clothing were spread across the room.

“If we wanna feel good, we start with underwear.” He revealed a fancy set that you only ever wore for special occasions as it was quite expensive. You lifted one eyebrow skeptically.

“What? You look really hot in it.” He stated dryly, handing the underwear to you and turning around. You hesitated for a second but then you started undressing to change your underwear. He was right.

“Y-you can watch, i-if you want to..” You nearly whispered as it was incredibly embarrassing to say but you loved the way he looked at your body.

“Are you sure? Because I cannot guarantee anything if I see you like that.. I'm just a man after all.” He said while already turning around. His eyes were following your every movement. Your curves, your stretch marks, your skin, everything of it was his and he loved it.

When you were done putting on your underwear, Jongho shook his head a little to get back to reality.

“Okay now to the makeup.” He gestured to the little table with your cosmics on it. You sat down at it and Jongho immediately got to work. He knew quite a lot about applying makeup, one of his many interests, so you knew you were in safe hands.

After about half an hour he was done. It was discreet. Nothing much, but it was putting the emphasis on all the right places. Your eyes were shining under the little color he gave them and your lips were looking delicious. His words not yours.

“How does it feel?” He asked, giving you a kiss on the head.

“Good.” You answered. And it was true. You felt pretty. And worthy.

“Good. I hope you like the outfit I chose.” Jongho was already rooming around the room again, picking up what he needed to place it on your bed.

He picked out black dress pants and a silky coloured blouse. The blouse perfectly matched your eyes and made them shine.

He knew what he was doing. It was simple yet special. You had tried too hard.

Even though the dress pants were high-waisted, their cut and color perfectly hid the belly you were beating yourself up about. You smiled to yourself. The blouse fit loose but very well, the lower ends disappearing in your pants, putting emphasis on your waist and curves.

“Jongho this.. this is perfect.” You said, feeling like a completely different person. You knew you looked the same. That nothing drastically changed about you in the last 40 minutes. But you felt good. Unlike before.

“Nice.” You could see that Jongho was satisfied with himself, making you chuckle.

While you were in the bathroom making your hair, Jongho went to change. And when you met him again at the door you fell in love again.

He had color-matched you with the vest on his white his shirt, which was tightly hugging his body and his pants were also a black pair of suit pants.

A big smile painted both of your faces when he pulled you closer.

“Ready to impress?” He asked against your lips.

“Yes.”

—————

Tags: @jonghoisbabie @multidreams-and-desires @little-precious-baby @yunhofingers-writes @serialee @crimsonbubble @cometoceantrenches @em--ilysm @deja-vux @kawaiiloli00 @ddeonghwva @aaaaajonghooooo @sansbun @cookies-n-joong @plonys @hijirikaww @nari-nim @yunkiwii @mingi-ivity @racheloveyunho @seongsangsgf @jhmylove @lizsvcks @yunhobabygurl @leoninadecorazones @kerra-that-one-random-fangirl @star1117-archives @cheollipop @yeosangsbiceps @euphoric-emily16 @anyamaris @shinestarhwaa @seomisaho @starillusion13 @taemdivez @mingiultz @hongglovs

—————

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ghoststyles · 9 months

Text

Fairway to Heaven - Part 6

WC: 8.8K

Part 1| Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

_________________________________________________________________

Instead of hurt, betrayal or disgust, Briar feels heartbroken. Heartbroken Harry had to endure that. She moves closer, embracing him in a hug.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he violently cries into her shoulder. She rubs circles on his back, letting him get out his upset and frustration.

“You didn’t deserve that. At all,” Briar says softly. Harry nods, just thankful she’s not upset at him. It took him years of therapy to be able to openly speak about his situation.

“Do you know his name?”

“Oliver,” Harry rasps.

“That’s beautiful. I bet he looks so much like you. I bet he has your kind eyes. Your charm. Your ability to make anyone feel special. I bet he’s clumsy like you. And I bet he’d like to meet you, too,” Briar says slowly.

Harry cries harder, the sobs wracking his body.

They sit there for over an hour before Harry finally calms down. He musters up the courage to look at her. His eyes are so puffy and red, and snot is dripping from his nose.

“I understand if you’re upset with me, and if you never want to see me again,” he sighs in defeat.

“Harry, look at me,” Briar grabs his face and runs her thumb along his cheek. “I’m absolutely not mad. I wouldn’t wish this situation on anyone. I want to help you deal with this, whatever way you need to.”

“Thank you,” he whispers. “I think I want to sleep for a while.”

“Of course, let’s go up.”

“Harry, baby. Wake up,” Briar whispers, gently waking Harry from his sleep. It’s well past 11AM. She called Niall to let him know Harry isn’t feeling well.

Harry stirs, the memories of last night flooding his mind. He’s not even sure if he slept. Briar runs her finger nails along his back, gently soothing him.

“I called us both out of work today, so we’re going to spend it how you want to.”

Harry exhales. He can’t even think of the last time he took a day off. Or the last time he had a panic attack. The two probably coincide.

When Camille left him, he buried himself in work. He quickly rose to the top as an associate, eventually becoming a manager. Now that his predecessors are retiring, Harry sometimes works from 6AM until 8PM. Even on Christmas Day.

He takes some labored deep breaths.

“Can we go get breakfast?”

Briar scrunches her eyebrows, not expecting his answer.

“Of course. Take your time getting dressed.”

Briar leaves the room, already having been up and dressed for hours. She tossed and turned wondering how anyone could treat him that way. Harry loves so strongly and so deeply. She already knows he’d be an incredible father, based on his love for Gus. But, she didn’t know him in his 20’s and 30’s. Maybe he wasn’t as mature as he his now.

Her heart broke again watching him sleep. He looked sad, even when unconscious.

Harry eventually comes downstairs, slowly and solemnly. He pets Gus, reveling in his fluff. He is truly their emotional support dog.

“C-can we go to this place to get a full English? You’ve had it before, right?”

“Yes, when I went to London in high school. Will you eat my beans?”

Harry laughs softly, “Yes, I’ll eat your beans.”

She guides him out to her car, knowing he’s probably not in a state to drive. She’s too nervous to drive his nice car. It’s a beautiful day, so she took the top of her jeep off. She can’t wait to see his hair flying in the wind.

They pull up to his requested breakfast spot. The parking lot is a little deserted. She is relieved, because if he needs to cry a little he can do so without judgement.

The waitress greets them with a chipper tone, but quickly adjusts based on their sad demeanor. Briar orders them both a coffee and full English breakfasts.

They sit in silence for a while.

“I know I don’t know her, but, should you call your mom? Is this something you’d talk to her about?”

“I did in the beginning; my sister, too. But then it just became a cycle of discussing the same thing over and over. So I just stopped bringing it up.”

Briar nods, knowing the feeling. After her dad died, she was enrolled in therapy. As a 6 year old, she didn’t have much else to talk about.

“I saw a therapist for a while. I was a little unwilling to talk about any of my other issues, so after a while they just gave me a prescription and sent me on my way. I felt like I got kicked out.”

Briar grabs his hand across the table, squeezing it. “That’s the tough part of it; they give you the tools and you’re supposed to just figure out how to use them. There were so many times I just wished my therapist had told me what to do and what to say.”

Harry hums. The food arrives a few minutes later. He gently breaks his egg yolk, “I’d really like you to meet my mum and sister.”

She smiles, “Aw, yes, I’d love to. It didn’t even cross my mind since you met mine so early on. Well, not my mom, I guess.”

“When was the last time you saw her?” He asks, happy to move onto a different topic.

Briar blows air out of her mouth as she tries to recall the last time she saw her mother.

“Christmas, I guess.”

“Can I meet her? Or do you just want to wait until it happens organically?”

“No, no. I should call her soon, anyway. I’ll try and set something up,” Briar says, pushing her food around. She supposes they're both facing their demons head-on today. “Do you mind if my brothers come? They usually need to be coerced into seeing her.”

“Of course not. Whatever is most comfortable for you guys.”

They eat in silence, only speaking up when the waitress returns to the table every so often.

“I send him birthday cards,” Harry says, staring at his hands.

Briar lifts her head, giving him a look to continue his thought.

“Every year around Christmas time. I’m not even really sure when his birthday is. I’ve never written a note, or anything. I just sign my name ‘Harry’. For all I know, she’s never even told him about me. Or even given him the cards.”

Briar’s sadness returns, evident in her facial expression.

“H-have you tried contacting your mutual friend? The one that introduced you?”

“I did, years ago. Everything was kind of fresh at that point, and I definitely think he took sides. I’m pretty sure they’re together now. His parents own an art gallery and are involved in high-society over there,” he coughs. “I just look like a schmuck in comparison. The craziest part of it all, I don’t know what I did to deserve no contact. I’m scared I’ll die never knowing.”

Briar closes her eyes, willing herself not to cry, “Did you ever fly to France to try and find her? Or her family?”

“I did. Once. I’d say about 6 months later. I drank whiskey the entire flight to Paris. I didn’t even have any luggage with me. I just marched off the plane and went to where I last knew she lived. I should’ve known her keeping her Paris apartment meant something.”

“You couldn’t have known,” Briar says softly.

“I knocked on the door. She opened it so quickly. I think she was expecting someone else. Her jaw dropped, and she tried to close the door on me. I was able to get inside, but she started throwing bottles at me. Then she threatened to get a restraining order against me. She was really showing at that point, so I didn’t want it the police to get involved.”

Briar is horrified the more he tells her.

“I went home to my mum’s for a while. Then flew back to the US and just went back to work. I can’t say I’ve done anything substantial since then.”

“Oh, stop. You renovated a gorgeous house. You started going back to Wynnewood. You’ve become your own boss,” Briar rattles off his accomplishments.

“I just thought I’d be married by now,” Harry chokes up a bit. She moves to his side of the table, leaning her head on his shoulder.

“I know this is ironic coming from a 23 year old; but, there’s no timeline on life, baby. You faced adversity and are moving on from it. That takes a lot of courage.”

Harry chuckles, wiping away a stray tear. Briar is so emotionally intelligent for a 23 year old.

They leave the café, opting to go back to Harry’s house. They grab books from his shelf and read them outside on his comfy lounge chair under the cabana, hoping the sunshine heals them both. Harry eventually dozes off, finally achieving deep sleep after a rocky 24 hours.

Briar massages his head, twirling his curls in between her fingers. As much as she wants to comfort him, she can’t help her tendencies to meddle.

She visits Niall’s Instagram, immediately checking his following list. She scrolls, closely examining every profile to find even a tiny breadcrumb that could lead her to Camille. Harry never said her last name, so she’ll have to pull out the big guns of internet stalking.

Nothing stands out tremendously; He doesn’t follow many people. Just a few OnlyFans models, golf companies and Barstool Sports. She spots a familiar name, Lydia…Where does she know that name from?

Briar’s thumb gives one last ditch effort scroll, when she lands on an account: @Fingermonkey

She clicks on it, and her heart immediately stops. Camille. The woman who made her boyfriend lose sight of who he was. The account is public, so she cautiously proceeds.

She’s a striking woman; she can see why Harry fell for her. She exudes beauty and class. It’s almost palpable.

Briar shudders, unsure if she should continue. She’s on her page for selfish reasons; to see Harry’s son. Her curiosity gets the best of her. She scrolls some more, before stopping at a photo of a tiny hand. Briar bites her lip, staring back down at Harry.

“No going back,” she whispers to herself.

After another few scrolls, she finds what she’s looking for. It’s from around 5 years ago. Camille is holding a tiny boy with dark brown curls and green eyes, bright as day. They’re on the swings, bright smiles adorning their faces.

Briar feels like she’s been sucker punched in the stomach. He’s a beautiful little boy. A boy Harry never even got the chance to love and help raise. She takes several deep breaths and scrolls back even further to 8 years prior.

Another blow. The engagement photos.

Briar winces, zooming in. They seem to be taken in California, just as the sun is setting. Camille is holding Harry’s face as she kisses him, the ring being the main focal point. She reads the caption:

J'ai trouvé mon éternité.

I found my forever.

She clicks off Camille’s page, rolling her eyes. She clears the search history, knowing she’s been caught stalking in the past.

Briar has so many questions.

Does she want Harry to find her? Why is Niall still following her?

Briar is physically at Wynnewood, but mentally elsewhere. After her stalking session, Harry woke up feeling better, so they decided she should go home. As much as he loves her company, he always needs alone time to process things. She was happy to oblige, needing her own time to breathe.

Briar is taking inventory after her shift when she spots Niall on the practice green. A lump forms in her throat, but she knows she needs to confide in him. He smiles, waving her over.

“Hey, Briar. I heard about the other day. I was up in the clubhouse already when everything went down. How’re you doing?” He asks, pulling her in for a hug.

“I’m good, thanks for asking. Everything was taken care of, so I just needed some time to shake it off.”

He nods, fiddling with his putter. Niall looks around, not really sure what else to say.

“Hey, Niall, can I ask you something?”

His eyes go wide, clearing his throat, “Listen, if it’s about Lydia and I…”

Finally, it clicks. Lydia from the party. Lydia who told her she’s also dating someone from the club. Briar gasps, “I, uh, what?”

“Fuck.”

Briar crosses her arms in front of herself, “Um, I was just going to tell you that Harry told me about Camille, and about the baby.”

“Fuuuuck,” Niall scratches the back of his head. “Can you ignore what I said before?”

Briar laughs, “For now. We can talk about that later. I just wanted to see if you had other insight. It was obviously a very emotionally charged conversation.”

“Yeah. Are you off now? Do you want to go inside for a drink?”

She nods and waits for him to clean up his stuff. They walk back to the clubhouse in silence, so Briar grabs a table outside while Niall changes in the locker room. The club is empty enough, so she’s not worried about members seeing them together.

He sits down, sighing, “I-I don’t really know how to proceed. Do you just want to tell me what he’s told you?”

“Sure,” she says quietly. Briar begins filling him in about their dinner at Ashmont and Jonathan revealing more than Harry was willing to share. Her heart races as she shares more details.

“That’s tough, darling. I know he was going to tell you eventually. The situation absolutely wrecked him. It took years to feel like I had my friend back.”

She nods, biting her lip, staring down at her shoes. Harry bought her a pair of lavender and white New Balances; her initials stitched in the tongue.

“You’re a very rational person, even at your age,” he smiles, leaning to put his elbows on his knees. “So, I know you’ll both work through it. But, what are your feelings?”

Briar sucks in a breath. “I’m not angry, and I want to support him, of course. But, I can’t help but have this sinking feeling in my stomach. I did some Instagram stalking.”

“You found Camille on there?”

“Yeah, through your account,” she waits for Niall to look back up at her.

He meets her eyes, “I keep a distance. I don’t speak to her or our mutual friends from study abroad. But I like to keep tabs. He’s my mate and I want to protect him.”

Briar nods, picking the skin at her cuticles.

“He’s a cute kid, isn’t he?” Niall smiles.

“Yeah, he is. Harry didn’t deserve that. At all,” she says, sitting back in her seat. “Should I meddle? Or just stay out of it?”

“I would hate to see this kid get any older without meeting his father. And, if you think you’ll be,” he trails off, smiling to himself. “Sticking around for a while, I think you have the influence on him to face it head on.”

“I hope I’ll be sticking around for a while,” she smiles.

Briar feels slightly better after talking to Niall. She has to remember to ask Harry if he knew about Lydia.

Briar was in need of some cathartic release. If Harry was willing to face this obstacle, she’s willing to face hers. She sits in the driver’s seat of her Jeep and scrolls her list of contacts before landing on Catherine Barlowe.

She dials, going through several cycles before finally being answered on the final ring.

“Hi, Bri. How are you, sweetheart?”

“Hi, Mom. I’m good, how are you?”

“I’m so good, honey. I’m so happy to hear from you. Dean and I are actually getting ready to move in a few weeks.”

“Oh? Where are you going?” Briar scrunches her eyebrows. That means her mom is selling the house she bought with her dad. The house she lived her first 9 years in before her mother’s addiction led to the 5 of them being placed with her aunt and uncle.

“I thought your brother may have told you. We’re going to California, honey.”

“Who? I thought the last time we all saw you was at Christmas time? And why California?”

“Jasper. He comes to see me. A lot more recently. The other boys only contact me when you do. I don’t think I’ll ever hear from Welles on his own,” Catherine sighs. “Dean is from California. He has young daughters, so we’re moving there to be closer to them. You remember? I told you about them.”

Tears begin welling in Briar’s eyes. Her mother, now 4 years sober and remarried gets to go play house with Dean’s young children. Instead of tending to her own.

“Yeah, I remember. There’s three of them, right? But they weren’t at the wedding,” Briar says quietly, remembering the rushed ceremony that took place the week after they finished their program together. Welles was furious, Jasper and Callum didn’t say a word, and Cormac cried the entire time. Patrick couldn’t bear to go. Meredith went in support of the siblings.

“Yes, he didn’t have custody rights at the time. But, that’s all settled now. We’re so happy, Bri.”

“I’m glad, Mom. Listen, I have to go, but I wanted to see if you’d be interested in going out to lunch soon. I’d like you to meet my boyfriend,” she rasps out.

“That sounds great, honey. Just text me the details. Talk soon.”

“Bye,” Briar chokes, throwing her phone into the passenger seat. She takes a few deep breaths to regulate her breathing. The tears continue to fall as she pulls out of the parking lot of Wynnewood.

Her phone begins to buzz, seeing Harry’s contact photo pop up.

“Hi,” she says solemnly before placing the phone between her shoulder and ear.

“Hi, Birdie. Are you okay?” He asks, sensing her tone.

“Yeah, yep, I’m good. What’s up?”

“Nothing, I figured you’re leaving Wynnewood. Was gonna see if you want to grab Gus and come over. I can make us dinner.”

“Um, I’m kind of tired. Think I’m just gonna go home, if that’s alright.”

“No, yeah, of course, love. Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yes, I promise. I’ll text you when I get home, okay?”

“Okay,” he says softly. “Bye.”

She hangs up, not even bothering to say bye. Briar knows she shouldn’t take it out on Harry, but she’s struggling to hold herself together. She hears a crack of thunder before feeling thick rain drops hit her face.

“Fuck!”

Briar never put her Wrangler’s roof back on the other day. The droplets get more intense as she nears her apartment. Pulling into her spot, she frantically runs to her storage area to grab her roof parts.

It’s down pouring now, but she charges forward with her parts, lining them against the car. Her biceps are burning trying to lift the piece on top of the car. Tears are starting to roll down her face, her hair beginning to stick to her neck.

Briar squeezes her eyes closed, defeated as she feels two arms wrap around her. She whips her head around, startled by her boyfriend.

“What’s going on, love? Let me help,” Harry says, pulling her down from the step of her Jeep. She steps to the side under her apartment’s overhang, watching him effortlessly put the roof of her Jeep back together. He’s absolutely soaked, his gray sweatpants now a charcoal color. She watches the way his back muscles move under his white t-shirt.

He fastens the parts from the inside of the car before grabbing her backpack in one hand, and her hand in the other. He guides her to her apartment while fumbling with her keys. Gus greets them at the door, unsure who to go to first.

Harry sits Briar down on her ottoman before grabbing the fuzzy blanket from her sofa.

“What’s going on? I’m a little scared,” Harry says, his eyes full of concern.

She takes a shaky breath before sobs take over her whole body. She folds in on herself, burrowing into the blanket.

“I-I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” she wails. Harry is stunned, unsure what she’s apologizing for.

“I should be supporting you and here I am getting so overwhelmed and then trying to deal with my own bullshit,” Briar cries. He places his hand gently on her back.

“Baby, I’m lost. Did something happen today?”

“I called my mom. She’s moving to California to raise her new husband’s kids,” Briar cries, snot pouring from her nose. “I should’ve fucking known. I don’t even know why I called.”

Harry can’t help but feel a little guilty. He mentioned it at their breakfast to get himself out of the hot seat. She took his bait.

“And because I can’t stop meddling, I looked up Camille online,” she confesses. “I even talked to Niall about it all.”

Harry freezes. He figured she would confide in Niall. But he didn’t think she’d look Camille up. He’s too afraid to ask what she found.

Harry guides her to sit up. He grabs her cheeks with one hand and makes her face him, “Hey. Hey. I need you to breathe, Briar.”

Briar cries harder at his use of her name. She can feel herself start to hyperventilate. He wraps himself around her tight. He holds her until she stops shaking. Gus has brought them 5 of his toys to try and lighten the mood.

“Gus, go to your bed,” Harry commands, voice deep. Briar flinches.

She lifts her head, taking in a deep breath.

“I hurt my own feelings today. I went looking for information I shouldn’t’ve,” she admits quietly.

“I think we all do that sometimes. Which part do you want to talk about first?”

Briar loves how diplomatic Harry is. Even when they have their spats, he always makes her feel like an equal partner. She also loves when he completely dominates her in the bed right after.

“W-we can talk about my mom,” she says, assuming that’s the easier of the two. “Her husband has 3 young daughters. So, now my mom gets a do-over. Poof. Our family is just out of the picture.”

Harry sighs. His father did something similar after his parents divorced. It stung for years, and took time to mend. Now they’re very close.

“That’s awful, Birdie. I’m so sorry. Are you going to see her before she leaves?”

She nods, wiping her nose on his chest, “Yeah, told her about you. Apparently my brother has been visiting her in secret. I’m so angry.”

He smiles lightly, “I’m happy to come along. Or not. Whichever makes you more comfortable. Don’t hold it against him. You all have to deal with things differently.”

“Thank you,” she says.

“Of course, baby. Now, do you want to tell me about the other situation?”

“Only if you want to. I crossed a line,” she starts to cry again.

She wraps her hand within his, squeezing tightly. Comfortable silence is usually never an issue for them, but the tension could be cut with a knife.

“Well, social media is public information, baby. I could’ve done it years ago, but never did.”

“I saw him,” Briar blurts out. It was now or never.

Harry closes his eyes, feeling nauseous. He takes a deep breath through his nostrils, “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. He’s gorgeous, Harry. Really,” she sniffles. “You shouldn’t give up. She’s wrong for what she did. And I want to help you fight for this.”

He can’t help but feel his heart swell with pride. His tough girl is ready to sit in the trenches with him. To fight the biggest demon holding him back from his happiness.

“I wrote a letter years ago,” Harry starts. “Let’s send it.”

Briar gasps, sitting up to face him, “I don’t want you to feel pressured by me.”

“I’m not. I’m not sure if this is too soon, but I already know I want to keep you around for a long, long time. This will help me get over my last hurdle.”

Briar cradles his face, kissing him gently.

“I’m yours, if you’ll have me.”

They huddle together.

Briar starts to snicker, “Did you have any idea that Niall and Lydia, the server from the club, are dating?”

Harry’s head shoots up, “Huh?”

“Okay, good. I would’ve been pissed if you hid that from me."

“How’d you find out?”

Briar laughs, “I said, ‘Hey, Niall, can I ask you something?’ And he confessed immediately.”

Harry throws his head back laughing.

Harry is in his study, silently reading his letter from years ago. His tears are falling onto the paper, dotting and blurring the ink. He was 32 when he wrote this. It sounds old, but he was a kid. It was hard to keep him at home. He had access to disposable income, so he used it to its fullest.

Camille lived a simple life, finding pleasure in gardening, reading and going to cafés. Her job always came first, which kept her busy traveling around the world. Harry was restless; always chasing the next big thing, and partying until his body physically shut down.

It didn’t help that he was a touchy person. Even though Camille had his whole heart, he shamelessly flirted with other women. He let them hang on him at bars, on yachts, and anywhere he could get attention. People in their circle talk; leaving Harry in the hot seat more than once.

He’d be naïve to blame it on Camille’s attachment style. She was generally cold, not showing him much affection. But, nonetheless he pursued her, absolutely enamored by her beauty and grace.

He was dumb enough to suggest an open relationship one time; about 6 years into the relationship. His needs in bed became too much for Camille. She didn’t understand his need to get off and dominate her. He slept at a hotel every night that week. She gave him an out, but he couldn’t take it.

When Camille left, he started hooking up with women more regularly. His heart hurt so bad, but he was finally getting his physical needs met. None of them lasted, until Briar.

Over the course of 8 years, his heart slowly healed. It’s not ideal that Briar is so much younger, and an employee of his country club. There’s a strange power dynamic there. He loved how flustered she got when he looked at her; she still does sometimes, but he can feel the difference.

They bring encourage each other’s confidence. They drive each other to be a better version of themselves. They feed each other’s deepest desires; scratching every itch that had been culminating over several years.

Harry begins rewriting the letter; changing the tone from blinding rage, to one of neutrality. He wishes her well. He hopes she’s healed.

From what? He’s not sure. He hopes she understands his point of view, and will consider letting Harry meet his child. He’d do anything at this point.

He seals up the letter, addressing it to Camille. Not even sure she still lives at this address, he walks it out to his mailbox anyway, lifting the red flag to signal the post man.

He feels weight lift from his chest that had been there since the day he met Camille.

Briar and Harry are sitting at a nice restaurant on the water. She sips gingerly at her mojito while they wait for her mother to arrive. Briar extended the invite to her brothers, but received radio silence from them all.

She’s anxiously bouncing her leg, to which Harry firmly grasps her thigh as he locks his jaw. She inhales sharply, closing her eyes. After the emotional turmoil they’ve experienced over the last few weeks, their sex life has toned down immensely. She misses his hand around her neck and his dirty whispers.

“Relax. I’m right here,” Harry whispers in her ear lowly.

Briar gasps when three of her brothers appear from the restaurant’s entryway. Jasper must’ve picked up Callum and Cormac from Patrick’s.

Briar stands to hug her older brothers, while Harry pulls Cormac in for a hug.

“Where’s Welles?”

“Not sure. I haven’t heard from him,” Callum says simply.

She rolls her eyes. He’s 28, but he is the most immature out of all of them.

They sit, easing into a conversation with Harry. She’s grateful she can entertain them while she’s somewhere else in her head. He reaches over to lock pinkies.

Her mother walks in, looking stunning. That’s one thing that Briar has always been jealous of. It’s why her addiction flew under the radar for so long. She was always put together and exuding happiness. But in secret, she was struggling.

Her strawberry blonde hair is longer than when she saw her last, loose waves falling over her shoulders. She’s in a floor length floral gown, a sweater over her shoulders to fight the chill of the restaurant.

She spots them after speaking with the hostess, her smile lighting up the room.

“Hi, my babies!”

Jasper stands to greet her, while her other brothers hold in a groan. She walks around the circular table to press a kiss to Briar’s head, before turning her attention to Harry.

“And who’s this? Don’t think I popped him out,” she laughs, waiting for Harry to stand up.

“Mom, seriously?” Briar grimaces.

“Hi, I’m Harry. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” Harry says smiling, pulling out the chair for her.

“Pleasure is all mine, Harry. I’m Catherine. Isn’t my daughter incredible?”

Harry smiles, nodding. He can sense Briar’s discomfort. He assumes this praise is just for show.

Her mother brings up every topic under the sun, effectively avoiding topics regarding Briar’s father, the move, and her new husband.

They eat, letting Cormac talk about school, Callum talk about grad school and his new girlfriend, and Jasper about his new job. Briar realizes she’s done a shit job at talking to her brothers lately. She doesn’t know any of this.

“Where’s Wellie, Briar? Didn’t you invite him?”

“I did. Didn’t hear from him.”

“It would’ve been nice for you to follow up with him,” Catherine snipes. “It’s not everyday I get to see all five of you.”

“Really? How about you? When was the last time you talked to him?” Briar crosses her arms at her mother.

“It doesn’t matter. This is family time,” Catherine raises her eyebrows, waiting for Briar to snap.

“You know all about that, don’t you mom? Just counting down the minutes until you can go play house with Dean’s kids in California.”

Callum and Cormac look between the two women, stunned. Jasper’s eyes widen.

“California?” Callum questions. “Mom, what is she talking about?”

Catherine looks around, “I thought Jasper would’ve filled you all in. I’m moving to California with Dean to be closer to his kids. They’re younger.”

Jasper looks down, pushing the vegetables around on his plate. Callum shakes his head, throwing his napkin on the table before storming off. Cormac starts to cry, to which Harry puts a hand on his back.

“Mom, how can you leave?” Cormac asks, his lip quivering.

“Baby, you’re all adults. You don’t need me anymore.”

“I’m only 17, Mom,” Cormac chokes.

Briar has tears streaking down her face. Briar hasn’t needed her mother since she was 12 years old, hoping and praying for her to come back. Cormac barely knew her; only fantasizing what their relationship could’ve been.

Harry pays the bill before suggesting Catherine leaves. She nods, standing to grab her purse. She silently looks each of her children in the eye before walking out of the restaurant.

“I’m sorry, Bri. I thought she changed,” Jasper says solemnly.

“It’s okay. You deserve to handle your relationship with her however you want.”

Harry and Briar walk out hand in hand after spending 20 minutes consoling her brothers.

They climb into Harry’s car, silently staring ahead. Harry grabs her hand again.

“That was rough, pup. I’m sorry,” Harry says softly.

“Can we just go home? I miss you, Daddy.”

Harry clears his throat as his cock twitches.

“You have me, Birdie. Let’s go home.”

“Be rough with me,” Briar pleads from the bed. “I want it so bad.”

Harry chuckles as he pulls his belt from the loops on his pants. She’s completely bare, her wrists fastened to each corner of the bed. He opts to leave her feet out of the restraints, hoping he can toss her around a bit.

“Daddy’s been taking it easy on his Birdie for the last couple weeks,” Harry says, trailing his knuckle along her rib cage. She keens, shivering from the light touch. “But don’t think I forgot about your stunt at Ashmont.”

Briar freezes, remembering their escapades. She taunted him, removing her panties in the stall, waiting for him to come after her. It’s a shame the night turned into a disaster soon after. She whines, not sure what else to do.

“Hm? Remember that, Birdie? Words,” he stares straight into her eyes.

“Yes, Daddy. I was naughty,” she bites her lip.

He doesn’t like that. He shoves his middle and ring fingers into her mouth, choking her a little. “Leave that lip alone. I bite that.”

She purrs around his digits, goosebumps rising on her skin. He removes them from her mouth before sticking them at her core. He barely grazes her folds, seeing how she’ll react. She jerks around, slightly moving her pelvis to meet his hand.

“Ah, ah. No. You’ll be taken care of how I decide.”

She nods, swallowing thickly. She’s eating up everything he throws at her.

“Think I’m gonna take my time tonight,” Harry let’s out an exaggerated sigh. Briar whines, pushing her face into her shoulder. “Mm-mm. None of that.”

Harry pushes Briar’s legs in the air, holding her ankles together, so the lips of her vagina are peaking out between her thighs. He growls at the sight.

“This little pussy is so used to getting what she wants. What does she want tonight, Birdie?”

“Your mouth, Daddy! Please!” Briar balls her fists, wiggling slightly.

Harry spits, watching the liquid drip down her thighs and cunt, “Nah, I’m good.”

Briar’s jaw locks in frustration. She watches as he walks to his closet grabbing her plug and vibrator. He generously applies lube to the plug, gently circling her ass. Briar closes her eyes, laying her head back.

He gently pushes the plug in past the tight muscle, moving it in and out a little.

“Oh my godddd,” Briar exhales. Her chest is rising and dropping fast.

“I think tonight’s the night, baby.”

Briar whines, half out of horniness and the other out of nervousness. He flicks the vibrator on, pressing it firmly on her clit. She throws her head to the side.

“Look at me. Don’t look over there,” Harry threatens, increasing the speed.

She wills her eyes open, staring into his, her mouth opening slightly. The tension is building in her pelvis. She’s sure to come once he starts circling the vibrator on her clit; his signature move. Within seconds of him doing that, she’s crumbling.

Harry shuts off the vibrator and adjusts her leg position so her legs are open wide, one resting on his shoulder.

“Wanna see your pretty face when I fuck your ass,” He says, peppering kisses on her face and neck.

“Please,” Briar whispers.

Harry reaches between them and pulls the plug out and tosses it on the floor. He’ll clean it later. He extends his hand to rest in front of her face.

“Spit.”

She spits on his fingertips, a line of spit connecting them to her lips. He lowers his hand to lightly touch her hole before inserting his middle finger. Briar groans, pulling on her restraints. He quickly inserts another, rocking them in and out of her gently.

Harry’s cock is neglected, standing tall and proud, nearly touching the tip to his torso. Briar begins to panic, unsure if his girth will fit in there.

“Relax, baby. I got you. Do you remember your word?” He says, petting her cheek.

“Bogey,” she says softly.

“Good girl,” he kisses her again. Harry has never withheld kisses, even in her worst punishments. “One more and then we’ll go for it, okay?”

“Mhm,” she nods, a single tear escaping her eye. She trusts her boyfriend with her entire being, but her heart rate is skyrocketing.

The third digit enters her, eliciting a whine. Harry flexes his fingers, giving her a delicious stretch. A thick layer of sweat has formed behind her knees and on her forehead.

Harry kisses her forehead, licking the saltiness from his lips, “All good, Birdie. Doing so well for me.”

After a few more minutes of stretching her out, Harry pulls his fingers out and lowers himself to be eye level with her ass. He licks a long stripe over the now open hole. Briar shivers, pulling on the restraints.

Harry rises from his spot on the bed to pull his underwear all the way off, his cock bobbing as he moves. He grips his length firmly, giving himself a few generous pumps. He kneels over her, undoing her right hand’s restraint. She looks at him curiously, but understands when he entwines their hands.

He uses his right hand to line himself up at her delicate center. Briar sucks in a breath in anticipation. Harry presses the bulbous head of his dick in, groaning as he moves. His pace is painstaking, taking in every facial expression from the angel below him.

“Such a good girl. Letting Daddy be the only one to fuck this little hole,” he pants, nostrils flaring. His forehead is starting to drip with sweat.

“Only you,” she whines as he pushes in little by little.

“Let me know if you need me to stop and take a break, lovie.”

She furiously shakes her head, still holding in a breath. Harry is finally working his way up to full thrusts.

“Breathe with me,” Harry pleads. “1,2,3, exhale.”

Briar feels high. That breath sent her senses all the way to her pussy.

“Daddy,” Briar breathes heavily.

“What do you need, baby?”

“Fingers. I-In my pussy,” she cries. “Please.”

“Okay, baby. I know y’empty in there,” he smiles down at her lovingly as he untangles their fingers so he can stick them inside. “So wet f’me.”

The sensations are too much once he starts petting her g-spot with his fingers.

“Coming, Daddy,” she babbles.

“Go ahead, Birdie. So fucking proud of you.”

She squeezes her eyes closed, letting out a cry of relief as she hits her wall.

Harry chuckles at her babbling. She is fucked out to high heaven. He wants one more out of her before he comes. He alternates thrusting into her ass and fingering her pussy. He releases her other hand from the restraint. She’s too distracted, so her hand remains in the same spot.

“Rub your little clit, baby. One more f’me.”

“Ugggghnnnn,” Briar whines, drool coming out of her mouth. She circles her clit three more times before she’s clenching hard on his fingers and cock.

The squeeze of her ass pushes Harry into his own orgasm, a ringing forming in his ear. He gives two last lazy thrusts, emptying himself into her. He closes his eyes and hangs his head low before slowly pulling out.

Briar squawks, so he shushes her gently. Harry could come again at the sight in front of him. His come is leaking out of her ass hole, dripping onto the sheets below. He picks some up with his finger, smearing it on her pussy. She mewls, her head lolling to the side.

“So fucking good for me. Gorgeous, baby.”

Harry takes a mental image before hustling to the bathroom. He starts the bath, making sure to throw some epsom salt and lavender oil in there. He wets a towel with warm water for Briar, and throws two towels into his towel warmer.

He reenters the bedroom to find his girl curled up, her back to him. He runs his knuckles down her protruding spine. Harry gently dabs the towel along her labias and ass to clean up.

“Birdie, I ran us a bath. Gonna lift you,” Harry coos. Her eyelashes flutter as she looks up at him with moony eyes.

Harry lifts her from her armpits and knees, and swiftly carries her to the tub. Her eyes are shut, but she rests her head on his chest. He’s become a pro at maneuvering themselves into the tub.

Harry positions Briar at the front of the tub, before finding his seat at the back. He leans forward to pull her body to his chest. Harry closes his eyes and rolls his neck along the edge of the porcelain tub, listening to their uneven breaths.

He plays with Briar’s hair; twirling the long pieces between his fingers. She hasn’t said a word, but he knows she’s elsewhere right now. He moves his fingertips to her scalp, gently scratching around the nape of her neck, hoping she’ll come back to him soon.

“Mmmmm,” Briar hums, smiling to herself.

Harry smiles, increasing the pressure and speed like he’s petting Gus.

“Stop,” Briar whines, her hair now in her face.

“Sorry, Birdie. How do you feel?”

“Good. Sleepy,” Briar yawns.

“Hungry? I can order us something,” Harry taps her sides.

“Can we have Caesar salads and Diet Cokes?” She cranes her neck to look back at him.

Harry laughs, “Sure, baby.”

“And french fries.”

“You got it,” Harry leans down and kisses her.

Briar is staying at Harry’s while he’s in the city for a few in-person meetings. It’s been nice; she does yoga outside in the mornings, takes Gus for walks around the picturesque neighborhood, and cooks using his expensive appliances.

🦊: Hi, Birdie.

🐥: Hi Daddy

🦊: Miss me yet?

🐥: I like being able to lay sideways in your bed

🦊: You can do that when I’m there.

🐥: You’re too hard

🦊: How’d you know? Send me a picture.

🐥: It’s 10AM. Pay attention to your meeting

🦊: I’m not asking.

Though Harry isn’t home, Briar still walks around his house scantily clad. An idea to terrorize her boyfriend pops into her head. Bolting up the stairs, Briar grabs her plug from Harry’s special area in his closet. She smirks to herself, feeling the cool metal in her hand. She walks outside, peering over Maureen’s fence to ensure no one will witness what she’s about to do.

She gathers spit in her mouth before lubricating the plug. She places one foot on the lounge chair for leverage, before nudging the plug past her entrance. Waddling around, she moves two lounge chairs to face one another. Propping her phone up on one, she shuffles to the other to get into position. She removes her sleep tank top and silk shorts, staring up into the sky to get some sun on her face.

She kneels, making sure to pop her ass out more. The phone is set to video so she can take screen shots of the poses she likes best. Or just send the whole damn video to him.

She makes sure to twist her body to fake some curves, looking over her shoulder and touching her hair. She fiddles with the plug, making her whine.

Yup, she’s sending the video.

After a few minutes, she gets up from the lounge chair, being sure to flash the camera. She grabs the phone, scanning it over her body before blowing a kiss.

Delivered

Looking around again, she quickly throws her clothes back on, opting to leave the plug in for the day. Gus joins her outside, laying on the chair opposite hers. She has an urge to shut her phone off completely, just to push Harry’s buttons a little more.

Her quiet morning is interrupted by her ringtone blaring. She picks up without saying anything.

“Do you think you’re funny?”

“Who is this?” Briar is holding back laughter.

“I am in a meeting, little girl. You sent that video when all I told you to send was a photo.”

“So are you jerking yourself in the bathroom?”

“What a fucking mouth on you, huh? And yeah, your little video is causing a problem,” Harry grits.

Briar whines, “Don’t you wish it was my little hand, Daddy? Or my mouth?”

Harry slams his fist against the bathroom stall. His neck vein is protruding as he growls.

Briar is full on smiling to herself. She’s not particularly horny right now, but she’s happy to aid Harry with his issue. She can hear his panting increase before a clattering of the phone.

“Harry?”

“Fuck, I dropped my phone,” he laughs incredulously.

“Oh my, well, maybe I should let you go,” Briar trails off.

“No, baby. Almost done. Just tell Daddy how much you love,” he groans. “Love him.”

“I love you, Daddy. So much. Come for me,” Briar says, leaning into her chair.

Harry releases into the toilet with a strangled moan. He prays to God the conference room walls are thick. He grabs a wad of toilet paper to wipe down his misfires before flushing.

“Thanks, Birdie. You’re in so much trouble when I’m home. Love you.”

“Okay, bye.”

She hangs up, shaking her head. She looks over her shoulder to see Maureen standing at the fence, watering her plants. Briar gives her a tight smile and wave, to which Maureen grimaces in response.

Briar lounges for a few hours before feeling intense boredom. She cleans a little bit, making sure to dust Harry’s various trinkets from his travels. She lightly wipes a ceramic elephant he got in Thailand, a Russian nesting doll from his time in St. Petersburg, and a clay shark from South Africa. While Harry has been all over the globe, the two share a desire to one day back back in South America. She hopes a llama trinket will one day sit on this shelf.

It’s been a few weeks since the lunch with Briar’s mom and since Harry sent the letter to Camille. While she’s happy Harry is attempting to get to know his son, Briar can’t help but feel extreme anxiety. Why hasn’t Camille responded?

The shrill sound of the doorbell and Gus’s subsequent bark breaks Briar’s train of thought. She can see a figure through the frosted glass of Harry’s front door, lingering at the table of snacks designated for delivery drivers.

Briar can see the UPS logo on the man’s shirt, so she lets him pick his goodies before opening the door. She waved to him as he drives away, looking down at the package at her feet. She wonders if Harry sent her something for when he returns.

Bending over, she’s surprised at the package’s weight. If it were new lingerie, it’d be light. She bends at the knees, inhaling when she lifts the package. Shooing Gus away, she manages to get the package to Harry’s long kitchen table.

She’s wracking her brain what it could be. The entire package is wrapped in brown paper. She flips it over to see the label. Harry’s name written in cursive letters using a Sharpie. Her eyes are drawn to the left hand side; the sender.

C. Rowe 4 Rue Dupetit-Thouars Paris, France 75003

A lump forms in Briar’s throat. It’s been a few hours since she talked to Harry this morning. Her fingers start to dial his number.

“If you’re calling for a follow-up to this morning, I have to let you know that Niall is right next to me.”

She hears Niall groan in the background. When she doesn’t laugh or respond, Harry tries again. “Birdie?”

“Hi, I-I wanted to tell you that a package came f-for you,” Briar chokes out.

Harry scrunches his eyebrows, “Okay, just leave it with the others. Anything else?”

He wants to be sweet with her, but she knows not to call about random things while he’s in meetings.

“I-it’s from Camille.”

Silence. Briar closes her eyes.

Harry sighs, “I see. Okay, thanks for letting me know, pup. I’ll be home tomorrow afternoon. Are you going to be okay until then?”

“Y-yes, I’ll be fine. I’m sorry. I’m not sure why I’m so nervous.”

“It’s okay. This whole thing is a little odd. Just try to take your mind off it. Throw it in my office if you don’t feel like seeing it.”

“Okay, I will. I’ll talk to you later. Love you.”

“Love you.”

Harry sighs. Niall looks over at him empathetically.

“So when were you gonna tell me you’re dating one of the servers?”

Niall’s eyes go wide before rubbing his temples, “She told you?”

“What? Why wouldn’t she? She’s my girlfriend.”

“We’re not dating. We hooked up once...twice.”

“Mhm,” Harry laughs. “Better nip that in the bud, then.”

Niall groans again just as their next meeting begins.

The anticipation is killing Briar. Harry is due home any minute, so she’s pacing between his kitchen and living room. Sitting on the sofa, sitting on the stool, sitting on the chair, standing by the window. She can’t keep still.

She joins Gus in his outburst of barking and running from window to window when they hear Harry’s car pull into the garage. She pokes her head into the garage to see Harry unloading his bags from the back.

She walks over to him, pressing her hands into his chest.

“Hi, Birdie. Missed you,” Harry says, pressing a kiss to her mouth.

“Welcome home,” she smiles back at him.

She grabs the wheeled suitcase, lifting it over the threshold of the door.

“Let me change and we can open it,” Harry says simply. Briar’s stomach drops.

“Okay.”

Briar corrals Gus to the sofa, the two of them perching in the corner seat. Harry changed into colorful sweatpants and a t-shirt that says ‘vote vote vote’. He grabbed the package from his office on his way back into the main living room.

He places the package on the coffee table. The two of them stare at it silently.

“Are you sure you don’t want to do this alone?”

“Mm, no, it’s okay. If there’s a letter, then I’ll read that on my own.”

Briar nods, waiting for him to open the box.

Harry peels the brown paper from the edges, tearing straight through his and Camille’s names.

He removes the paper in its entirety, examining the oversized shoe box before pulling the lid off. He places it off to the side while peering at the contents. From first glance, it looks like junk.

He scrunches his eyebrows when he spots one of his old shirts. Did Camille really use this as an opportunity to send his shit back?

He moves the shirt to reveal a few envelopes, a baby rattle, a small pair of vans, a stuffed dog, and drawings.

Harry opens one of the envelopes to find a stack of Polaroid pictures. He can feel his eyes start to sting. They’re in chronological order, showing his son grow from a tiny baby to an excited 7 year old. Briar has her head on his shoulder, silently viewing the photos. The birth photo has words scribbled in Sharpie at the bottom.

Oliver Styles Rowe 18-11-2016 3.3kgs | 53 cm

Harry is crying now. Briar rubs his back, trying to encourage him to keep going.

He flips through the photo, feeling vomit bubble up his throat. This kid looks like a lot of fun. Fun that’s killing him to not have been a part of. Camille keeps him well travelled; there are photos from Tokyo, Australia and Mexico.

Unlike most babies, Harry’s had his signature curls from the start. Briar gasps at the photos as they get closer to present day. Oliver is Harry’s twin.

Oliver receives great marks in school; he’s pictured with several certificates and trophies. He even seems to be a footballer.

Harry puts the stack on the coffee table, turning to face Briar.

“Wow,” Harry says, wiping a tear from his eye.

“What’re you thinking?”

“Just heartbroken all over again.”

Harry went into his office to read the letter. He stops at his bar cart to pour himself some tequila.

It’s short, but gives Harry some closure. Over the last 8 years, Camille embraced motherhood by focusing less on work. She meditates, volunteers regularly, and is extremely involved at school activities.

She and Theo, their mutual friend from study abroad, have been together since she moved back. That sends a pang to Harry’s heart. They got married about 5 years ago, and have a little girl named Amélie. She only talks a little about Oliver, saying how much he reminds her of Harry.

Camille apologizes, which Harry didn’t expect. She recognizes cutting him off from his son was wrong. She also left her contact information, followed by the last line.

He would love to meet you. I think it’s time.

Tears are fully falling on Harry’s cheeks as the heaviness of the last 8 years hits him. His son has Styles in his name. He smiles to himself, feeling the butterflies in his stomach.

He shoves the letter in his desk drawer before wiping his eyes. He joins Briar and Gus back in the living room cozied up by the fire.

____________________________________________________________________

OHM YGOD. SOMEONE PLZ TALK TO ME AB BIRDIE AND HARRY I AM LIVINGGGGG

Taglist:

@daphnesutton @pandeebearstyles @anxiouswaterss @gem1712 @stylesfever @awesomenavy @crazygirlinthisworld @butdaddyilovehim-hs @luxiorchive @alchemxx @narry-heart

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #Harry styles smut #harry styles imagine #fairway to heaven #dom!harry #dom!h #daddy!harry #daddy!h

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carmybears · 2 years

Text

BF!Carmy Headcannons

I swear I'm still working on Carmy fics (slowly but surely I promise!!) but here have some morsels that have been living in my notes app -- all carmy x reader fluff

You’re the one who has to initiate the first kiss bc you’re pretty sure you were going to grow old waiting for him to do it

It was obvious that he wanted to kiss you (lots of long, lingering looks at your lips like WOW) but he’s still so uncertain of himself in romantic situations that he let his hesitations get the best of him

And let’s be real, you had been flirting your ass off trying to get him to kiss you — it could not have been any more clear that you wanted to just make out with him, but he was just not reading the signs

So the next time you caught him trying to turn away suddenly after letting his gaze linger on your lips, you caught his jaw and just planted a sweet kiss on his surprised lips

Just kiss him silly!! He deserves it!!

Physical touch is absolutely his love language, but he’s so touch starved and concerned about screwing up his first real relationship that it takes him a while to come around to being physically affectionate with you

Like, you come over to his apartment after a shift at the restaurant one night just to watch cooking shows together and he can’t even concentrate on TV because he’s too busy overthinking whether it’s ok for him to put his arm around you

When he finally comes around though, you can hardly keep his hands off you

If you’re in the kitchen cooking dinner together, Carmy’s gonna find a reason to put his hand around your waist or lower back. If you’re sitting together on the L, he’s got his hand on your knee. If you’re hanging out together on the couch, he’s got your legs draped across his lap

He is bad about holding hands tho

He doesn’t dislike holding hands by any means, but he’s not good at it — just too fidgety. He’s always toying with something (emotional support spoon) or talking with his hands, so holding hands for any period of time doesn’t work out for him that well. He’s always quick to give your hand a reassuring squeeze if you need it, or to run his thumb softly over the back of your knuckles though

Whenever you’re out and about together, he always makes sure to walk on the sidewalk between you and the street. Similarly, when standing at street intersections or on the platform waiting for the L, he angles himself toward you defensively, keeping half of his body tilted behind you so that no one could come up from behind and shove you forward into danger.

As a transplant to the Chicago, you make it your life’s mission to make Carmy take you on dates to typical touristy destinations around the city, even though he insists that they’re overrated

He complains the whole way out to Shedd Aquarium but then the two of you end up having the best time watching the fish and touching the stingrays in the touch pool. He won’t admit it, but it’s actually kind of a relief to be out of his normal environment and to have some time enjoying the city through your eyes.

Afterward, you drag him through Millennium park to see the Cloud Gate (and make lots of jokes about him being able to find the bean along the way)

When you arrive, the sun is just getting ready to set, and the reflective surface of the sculpture glows in shades of orange and pink. The stainless steel is smudged with fingerprints, but you still pull out your phone and take pictures in the mirrored surface, including your favorite photo of yourself and Carmy where he has his arms draped loosely around your waist as he presses a kiss to your temple

Because his work schedule makes it hard to plan out specific date nights, you start making a habit of texting him a picture of the ingredients for whatever dinner you’re making that night, telling him you’ve got enough food for two

When late summer gives way to a brisk autumn, you can’t help but notice the way carmy’s cheeks and the tip of his nose turn red in the cold wind as he walks to and from work everyday, so you take to greeting him with a kiss, cradling his cheeks in your hands

“I’m just helping you defrost” you explain, feeling the sharpness of his cool skin under your warm palm

(He thinks that maybe you’re defrosting him in more ways than one)

The first time you come back to his apartment after a shift at the restaurant, he clams up a bit, slightly embarrassed at the state of the place with its minimal decorations, oven full of vintage denim and nightstand cluttered with Pepto and 5 Hour Energy. It actually makes him a bit nauseous to imagine what his place must look like to you. But he’s relieved when you take it all in stride, choosing instead to flip through his stack of cookbooks and ask him how he got into vintage denim collecting.

The only thing you rib him about is his choice in peanut butter as he makes you both pb&j’s. “Really Carmen, creamy peanut butter,” you mock disgust. “What are you? Afraid of a little crunch?”

He has crunchy peanut butter in his cabinet by the next time you visit.

Carmy definitely has some trouble with an avoidant attachment style, and frequently needs his own space, especially after sharing anything with you that is particularly sensitive or vulnerable. He’s really working on being a communicative partner though, and does what he can to make sure you know that he isn’t pushing you away and that he appreciates you respecting his boundaries.

He’s always sure to make it up you out afterward though — whether it’s leaving work early enough to cook you dinner, taking you out for date night or just spending some extra time cuddling together, he’s determined to make sure you know how special you are to him.

When Carmy realizes that he’s in love with you, it scares him shitless because oh my god he really didn’t expect to ever feel this way about someone and he had pretty much accepted it as a fact of life that he’d always just be coming home to an empty apartment

The trouble with realizing that he loves you is that he absolutely obsesses over how to tell you, and he ends up acting strange and shy around you for a full week before you finally crack and ask just what the hell has gotten into him lately

“I’m sorry it’s just that I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you that I love you.”

“You love me?”

“Uh, yeah. I hope that’s ok.”

Instead of answering, you kiss him tenderly and tell him that you love him too.

#carmy berzatto X reader #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto fluff #carmy x reader fluff #carmy berzatto x reader fluff

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egcdeath · 10 months

Note

For your writers block request!!

Pancakes 🥞😌

pairing: joel miller x reader

summary: you and joel celebrate his birthday in jackson.

word count: 610

warnings: mentions of food, tooth rotting fluff—like call your dentist now fluff, lightly edited

author’s note: the one word prompt drabbles are BACK! feel free to send me a random word and i’ll try to write a fic about it!

When Joel smelled the unmistakable scent of maple and coffee coming from his kitchen, he could’ve sworn that he was still dreaming. After the outbreak hit, most average foods became a bit of a delicacy, especially when compared to your standard canned vegetables and beans. Even in Jackson, there wasn’t much variety of the food that became available—limited by what was in season, what could grow in that climate, and the lifecycle of both livestock and produce alike.

So when Joel picked up on that beautiful aroma, he was immediately drawn out of bed and downstairs to the kitchen, as if he were a cartoon character following the scent trail of a warm pie. While part of him still thought he must’ve been dreaming, he was more than pleased to find you in the kitchen, flipping an egg on the skillet with a steaming stack of pancakes on a plate on the countertop and a mug of coffee next to you.

“Happy birthday, baby,” you said in a sing-songy voice, plating the eggs as well before hurrying over to Joel and pulling him into a big hug.

“Pinch me?” Joel asked, still not quite believing what he was seeing.

“There’s no need,” you hummed, burying your face in his neck and closing your eyes with contentment as you felt the familiar feeling of his rough beard on your skin.

“How did you even find all this?” he exclaimed in delight, looking around at what you’d arranged once you finally pulled away.

“Well, the pancake mix, I found on patrol,” you explained while grabbing the aforementioned plate and heading for your table. “Actually, I didn’t find it, Dina did. But she was gracious enough to let me take it.”

You sat down in your usual seat as Joel brought over the rest of the food, including his highly coveted coffee.

“For this much fruit, I had to do a little bargaining with Maria. Let’s just say, I’m gonna be busy the next few weeks knitting a lot of socks. The eggs, I got from our very own Cluck Norris. Now the coffee… You don’t even want to know what I had to trade to get it,” you laughed softly to yourself.

“Well, now I’m curious,” Joel raised a brow at you.

“You’re gonna have to torture that information outta me. Otherwise it’s coming with me to the grave,” you shook your head. “Now please, dig in! Ellie should be here any minute now, but you know how that girl is with her alarms.”

Joel looked at you fondly, adoration clearly twinkling in his eyes. “You’re too good to me,” he said softly. What remained unsaid was how shocked Joel was to have landed such a quiet, soft life after such a hardening and brutal past twenty years. You knew exactly what Joel meant, as he’d shared this sentiment with you a number of times. While it was clear he was still occasionally hesitant to believe that he did in fact deserve good things, it seemed to become a little easier for him with each passing day.

“Not at all,” you pulled your chair over to his side and gently leaned on him. “You deserve all the good things.”

Joel simply blushed and shook his head, still new to receiving the gentle praise you so frequently dished out to him.

“One of those good things being this meal that I worked all morning on,” you gently tapped his nose, a dopey grin on your face.

“Thank you,” Joel said, a matching soft smile on his own face and hearts in his eyes. “I love you,” he said genuinely, pure joy and love written all over his face.

“Love you too, birthday boy.”

#joel miller fluff #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #the last of us fanfiction

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jeonqkooks · 1 year

Note

Congratulations once again on the milestone Jen! You are amazing and deserve every big milestone coming your way! For the request can I please get prompt 19-“i’ve never seen anyone look so cute and ridiculous at the same time.” with Jin? Thank you in advance and I hope you have fun writing it!

pink bean fever | ksj

pairing: seokjin x reader

genre/warnings: best friend's roommate to ??, college au, fluff, swearing, mentions of pink bean but they're 1000% inaccurate bc i know nothing about maple story pls don't come for me, unedited !!

word count: 1.8k

note: jiya !! thank you so much for requesting this :') i had fun with it and i hope you like it too!! also, it's still jinnie's birthday somewhere so i will still consider this a birthday fic lol

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

Kim Namjoon, you’re going to kill him.

Kim fucking Namjoon.

Forty five minutes ago, you were getting ready to walk to your best friend's dorm so you two could go get dinner together somewhere nearby. Now, you're sitting on his bed, Namjoon nowhere in sight, just a few feet from his roommate Seokjin.

The guy that you have the biggest, fattest crush on.

You swear Namjoon did this on purpose. That motherfucker.

You watch Seokjin as he practically screams into the mic attached to his headset, his fingers skillfully bouncing on the keyboard of the laptop in front of him, playing a game you know nothing about.

"Jungkook ah! Where the fuck were you?! I almost got killed!"

This has been going on for almost twenty minutes now - you awkwardly perched on Namjoon's bed while Seokjin either screeches in excitement when he wins, or wails in agony when he loses the game. This is the fucking worst way to spend a Saturday evening.

You glance at your phone, praying to every god to make Namjoon reply to your hundredth text message cursing him out and asking where he is. You never should've told him about your crush on his roommate. He even had the audacity to laugh when you finally revealed who the object of your affection was. That fucking guy.

Objectively speaking, Seokjin is pretty lame. From what you can tell, he basically has no social life. He doesn't party, doesn't go out, doesn't take an interest in anything that doesn't have the words "Maple Story", "Super Mario", or "League of Legends" in it. All he does is play video games all day with his friends, whom you assume are the same people he's yelling at now. Namjoon told you that once, Seokjin forgot to eat anything for two days straight because he was on his computer the entire time.

That begs the question: If Seokjin was so lame, why are you so enamored with him? The answer is very simple. Seokjin is as cute as he is lame, which is to say that he is very fucking cute. When you met him earlier in the semester when Namjoon got assigned a new roommate, it was love at first sight.

However, you don't think you've ever held a one-on-one conversation with him before. Tonight might be the first time, when he opened the door for you and said you could wait for Namjoon here. You had squeaked out a shy Yes and followed him into the room where he offered you a glass of water before he returned to his computer, leaving you to wait around for a person you knew had left you to fend for yourself in the wilderness. This is exactly why Namjoon is doing this, you think. He's been telling you for a couple weeks now to just talk to Seokjin like a normal person instead of tripping over your words like a lovestruck idiot.

Occassionally, he looks over his shoulder at you, and you have to whip your head to the other side of the room so quickly you're surprised you didn't pull a muscle, just to not make it obvious that you've been staring at him like a weirdo.

After a while, Seokjin takes off his headset only to replace it with a hat. A... cap? You don't even know what it is. It's got a face of something pink with big round eyes and purple horns, and looks like it should be a plushie instead of something to wear on one's head. His friends have probably gone elsewhere, because he turns off the shooter game he was previously engaged in to play something else by himself.

"Sorry," he says. "I was pretty loud, wasn't I?"

"No, it's fine. I didn't mind," you tell him sheepishly. "Did Joon, uh, tell you when he'd be back?"

Seokjin shrugs. "No. He just said he was going for a quick walk. Went out right before you got here, actually."

Someone give you strength.

He turns back to his screen when you give a hum in acknowledgement. You go back to sitting in silence again, only this time, you notice that when he curses at the game, he makes an effort to lower his volume. Seokjin has a really nice voice, you think. Even when he's cussing, you just want to put it on a tape and listen to it for hours on end.

Okay, that is one thought that you should probably never say aloud. Especially not to Kim fucking Namjoon.

Another 15 minutes pass until Seokjin pauses the game to down the glass of water on the table in front of you - the one between his and Namjoon's bed. You pretend to look around the room even though you've got it memorized at this point. It's pretty small, and the guys don't really have a lot of decorations. Aside from a couple of Namjoon's art prints on the wall and a few of Seokjin's stuffed animals - how fucking cute is that? Jesus Christ, you are so whipped - the room doesn't have that much personality.

You can feel him looking at you as he gulps down his water, clearly not knowing what to say either. You could pass out from the sheer awkwardness that's suffocating the space.

You clear your throat. "Can I, uhm, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What is that on your head?"

Seokjin puts down the glass and takes off his cap, holding it out so you can see it better. "Pink Bean!" he says with a grin. Goddamn, he is beautiful.

"Is that a character?"

He gasps, running a hand through his hair - which looks so, so soft that you want nothing more than to just run your fingers through it. His eyes widen until they're almost as big as the ones on the strange Bean creature. "You don't know what Pink Bean is?!"

"Should I?" you ask, unconsciously making yourself smaller as he stares at you. Seokjin looks equally as excited as he looks offended, shooting up from his chair to bounce onto Namjoon's bed, right next to you.

Your chest almost explodes. In your head, there's a series of question marks floating around; in your heart, there's a bunch of exclamation points detonating like fireworks. Oh god, what is happening?

"Uhm, yes! It's just one of my favorite characters of all time, duh! Okay, okay, so-"

Seokjin launches straight into a whole TED talk on Pink Bean, giving you its extensive backstory and just about everything in the universe that's related to Pink Bean - the quests, its powers, something called a Chaos Pink Bean? Every word he's saying is going into one ear and out the other. To you, he might as well be speaking a different language because you understand none of it and frankly, you don't even care.

But holy moly, he is so passionate about it. He talks about this stuff like Pink Bean is the love of his life and he's gonna marry it one day. Even though you're retaining about zero percent of all this information, watching him ramble is so endearing. His eyes are so bright, and throughout this impromptu presentation of his, he has to pause for a few seconds to catch his breath from all the talking.

You stifle a laugh, and he stops. Seokjin scratches his neck, putting the cap on his head again and looking at you with a sheepish smile. "Sorry, I didn't mean to talk your ears off."

"No, no, it's just-" You shake your head with a chuckle. "I've never seen anyone look so cute and ridiculous at the same time."

As soon as the words leave your mouth, you freeze. He freezes. You want the ground to open up so you could fall into that chasm and never be seen again. Life does not have any meaning anymore. Fuck Namjoon, you're not staying here anymore.

"I mean- Not that I think you're cute, it's just- Well, wait, no, I do think you're cute, but it's not-"

You could see a deep blush painting Seokjin's face, from his cheeks to the tips of his ears. You tear your eyes away from him like the idiot that you are. Your lips part, but no words come out because your brain is just blank at this point. You knew you would say something dumb and now you're knee-deep in embarrassment in front of your crush. Stupid, stupid, stupid-

Seokjin clears his throat. "Do you and Namjoon have plans tonight?"

You purse your lips and nod, though you're not sure if he's still looking at you because you're suddenly so keen on not looking at him. "We're just getting dinner," you say with faux nonchalance, as if you hadn't just called him cute two seconds ago and both of you seemed to have absolutely no idea what to do about it. "Joon said there's a new ramen place or something near campus."

"Is it the place where they have ramen sliders? I told him about that place. I've been meaning to go too but, uhm, I don't have anyone to go with."

Oh, hell no. You are not going to invite him to join you and Namjoon after that comment. In fact, you're not going to see Seokjin ever again. You're going to make Namjoon apply for a room reassignment just so you don't have to cross paths with Seokjin. Welp, this silly crush has been fun and miserable. Goodbye forever-

"If Namjoon ditches you, we can probably go together. Or something. Maybe. I don't know."

Your body stiffens, and you know he can probably tell since he's still sitting so close to you and you're not exactly being subtle. Heat creeps up your neck and splatters color onto your cheeks. You're thankful that your hair can cover some of it to preserve what little dignity you have left.

"It's okay. You don't have to. I'll probably- I should, no-" you stammer, "I'll just go home."

"Y/N," Seokjin says, "it's dinner. I'm pretty sure we'll survive a meal together."

"No, I know. It's-"

"Okay. Then let's go."

Before you can say anything, he's standing up. Your panicked eyes follow him as he moves to his side of the room to grab his jacket and ditch the Pink Bean hat. You rush to your feet, spluttering out every polite variation of No, please don't make me do this. I'm practically in love with you and this will only kill me dead that you could think off, but Seokjin is already ushering you out the door.

When he stops by the entryway to grab his keys on bowl next to the door, you could feel his chest pressed against your back. You're going insane with nerves and butterflies and mortification and anticipation and infatuation with this man and this is not fucking helping.

Behind you, Seokjin's low voice sends shivers down your spine with what he tells you next.

"For the record, I think you're cute too."

#seokjin x reader #seokjin x you #seokjin fluff #seokjin imagines #seokjin scenarios #seokjin reactions #seokjin fanfic #seokjin fic #bts x reader #bts x you #bts fluff #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts reactions #bts fanfic #bts fic #seokjin #bts #fic: pink bean fever

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scarlettjohanssons-mistress · 2 years

Text

Baby fever

Warnings: PURE fluff

Word count: 1.5 K

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Requests: OPEN

Prompt: Natasha will learn to take care of her baby, while each day she falls a little more in love with her little princess; of course, not forgetting Y/N.

The ending Natasha deserved

[Main masterlist] [Marvel masterlist]

Narrates Y/N

"Is it normal that I love her too much?"

Natasha asked as she gently rocked the tiny newborn baby.

"Of course, it's your daughter"

Seeing how my two girls bonded was the best feeling in the world, seeing how Natasha's eyes lit up just by seeing how the baby gave her tiny smiles made my chest fill with tenderness and admiration.

“You are the most beautiful girl in the world, you know that?” the redhead spoke directly to the baby, while giving her a little kiss on her tiny nose

"And where am I?" I crossed my arms, trying to act offended, but not letting go of my smile.

"No, my love, our little Olivia is beautiful, thanks to her resemblance to her precious mother Y/N." She carefully took my hand and gave it a tender kiss. I just managed to shake my head, while I laughed, but, I can't hide a yawn "Oh, my Королева , you should sleep, you worked very hard today" the baby only managed to babble and take her redheaded mother's finger with her tiny little hand “She and I will take care of you”

With a smile, and knowing that my little girl would be safe, I began to close my eyes, ready to go to sleep.

———————————————————————————

Narrates Natasha

Making sure Y/N had fallen sound asleep, I was finally able to lay eyes on the baby in my arms.

In short, she was the most beautiful little thing I had ever seen, she had big gray eyes, with long and thick eyelashes, a nose, quite similar to mine, with chubby cheeks, and pretty little lips.

“Do you know that I love you with all my heart?” I began to distribute small kisses all over her face, making the little girl moan and open her huge eyes "Hi, Olivia, it's me, Nat mom" the little girl was staring at me, I knew she couldn't see me quite right, but, anyway, sure, she had recognized my voice "you know, you are what I have wanted most in life" I felt my eyes begin to water, until a light knock on the door made me wipe my tears "Go ahead"

Wanda's head snapped forward, her curious eyes scanning the brightly lit room.

"Hi, can I come in?"

"Sure, are you just coming?"

"Yes, I knew that if I let in eight men who wouldn't stop arguing, talking, or even singing, they would wake the baby up...although it looks like Y/N would be woken up."

“Yes, she was exhausted”

"It's her?"

Her eyes had landed on the small bundle in my arms, which was beginning to move, trying to find the warmth that radiated from my chest.

"No, it's a girl we found in the garbage"

"Always so funny Romanoff " Wanda came over and sat next to me "can I hold her?"

"Of course"

The baby stirred a little uncomfortably in the witch's arms, until she found a comfortable position, while Wanda's hand caressed her little head, full of brown hair.

"Is beautiful"

"Of course she's beautiful, she's Y/N's daughter"

———————————————————————————

Narrates Y/N

Thanks to Natasha's retirement, it wasn't much easier to get out and enjoy the outdoors, so we thought it would be a good idea to travel to California so Olivia could experience the beach.

"Baby, why don't we take the little принцесса to Manhattan Beach?" Natasha asked as she drove through the hot streets of Malibu.

“Baby in Manhattan Beach, it's 73.4°, and the pediatrician told me that it would make her very cold, she's just a little bean, she can't take that much cold”

"And it's hotter here?"

"Just a little longer, still, I'll have to keep her warm"

We parked the car quickly, and predicted to put things down, so Natasha could get Olivia out of her special seat.

“Are you excited to meet the ocean, Долли ?”

Olivia just laughed out loud at the kisses she received on her tummy.

Gently, I took her in my own arms, putting on a slightly warmer garment, to withstand the cold wind, while she played with her little stuffed bunny, a gift from her aunt Yelena.

" Are you ready , little princess" I picked her up again while kissing her neck, causing her more laughter

"God, I love her laugh, it's definitely my favorite sound in the world" We arrived at the beach and Natasha arranged 2 large towels on the sand, so that the 3 of us could sit down

“Trust me, she loves your voice too”

"Seriously?"

“Honey, are you going to keep ignoring the fact that you are her favorite person in the world?”

"Of course I'm not"

“Just talk to her”

"What?"

"Talk to her like you always do"

"Hello, my love, do you want to come with mom?"

The little girl began to let out little high-pitched screams as she clapped her hands and kicked her feet for attention from her redheaded mother.

"See what I mean?"

"Oh, she's just a mommy's little girl, don't be jealous, mommy."

"I'm not jealous"

"Yeah, sure, and Steve is straight."

"Well, I'm not going to try to deny the obvious"

She only managed to get closer to my face and distribute small and light kisses on my face, until small chubby hands made her separate

"Oh, sorry, персик , are we not paying enough attention to you?"

The redhead picked up the baby, making the little baby laugh out loud, trying to take her mother's nose with her little hands

"Stay there, let me take a picture"

I took out the camera that I had kept in my backpack, and quickly walked away so I could take the photo. Natasha quickly got up with the baby in her arms, and walked to the edge of the beach, with onerapid movement, bare Olivia's small legs, and made her step on the wet sand

“Quick baby, take the exact moment the bean touches the sea”

I ran up to them, while adjusting the camera for a video, because a photo would not fully capture my princess, it would not do her justice.

A small wave approached, little by little, until it touched the baby's little feet, causing her to open her little mouth, shocked, and with a strange sensation.

"How are you? Do she like this?" asked the redhead, who couldn't see her face

"I don't know, she just opened her mouth"

Another wave hit her little feet, but now, the little girl managed to free herself from the grip of one of her hands, to be able to touch the water and the sand with her own little hand, making the girl scream, and try to throw some water towards me

"I think she likes this"

“Apparently yes”

———————————————————————————

Narrates Natasha

Going to the supermarket alone always seemed boring to me; when we were just Y/N, we always spent time playing, buying food and even playing hide and seek, and when Olivia finally arrived, while Y/N became the responsible housewife, I only dedicated myself to seeing the little girl, admiring every inch of that adorable little creature; but doing it alone was torture.

When I was finally done, I drove to our house, which was on the outskirts of town, in a quiet neighborhood, perfect for raising a little girl.

I arrived at the house, with thousands of bags in my arms, only not to make two trips, finding myself with a first floor, completely empty

"I'm here"

I could only hear, what I came to consider, the best sound in the universe, the little laughs of my princess, followed by Y/N trying to silence her a bit

" Tasha , honey, can you come over for a second?"

Without waiting for a second call, I put down the bags and started upstairs, heading to our room, only to find Olivia sitting patiently in the middle of the bed, dressed in an adorable white fuzzy onesie.

When the girl saw me, she began to crawl and babble until she reached me.

"How are you, my little bear?" kiss her lovely cheeks "Where's mama, bear?"

"Mama"

My mind went completely blank, and I had to sit up so I wouldn't drop the baby.

"What did you say, sweet girl?"

"Mama"

"My love!" I yelled, trying to call Y/N “Baby Oliv said 'mama'”

Out of nowhere, Y/N came out of the bathroom, recording me directly

"That's why I asked you to come up, so you could hear it with your own ears"

Release the baby, so she can come back to her little stuffed rabbit

"So, you heard her and didn't call me right away?"

"I'm sorry, my love, I didn't want to rush you with the purchases" she kissed my cheek, giving me a smile

"I'll only forgive you if, Olivia tells me mom again"

As if the little girl could understand me, it didn't take long for her to answer me

"Mama"

But, when I turned to congratulate her, I saw how Olivia was looking intently at the little bird that was looking out the window

"No, my love, that's a bird"

"Mama"

"Silly Bird"

Note:

I plan to make little snippets of our favorite girls, who have a strong maternal instinct, or whose dream was to be a mother.

I hope you enjoy it

I appreciate the reblogs, the likes and the comments

taglist: @littlebitchsposts

message me or send an ask to be added to my taglist!

Translation:

Королева - Queen

принцесса - Princess

Долли - Dolly

персик - Peach

496 notes · View notes

lynsexperience · 1 year

Text

Because I love you, Windblume..

Summary: After a long day, you just wanna lay down and cuddle with Venti. But intrusive thoughts starts to flow in your mind, and Venti has reminds you why he fell in love with you.

Venti x Reader.

Warning: FLUFF, smut-ish so, MINORS DNI.

A lil something for my two friends, I hope you guys enjoy this. :)

(A mini collab with my friend, Asahi<3)

After a tired day, you finally able to take a rest and be with your love for the rest of the night.

"What an exhausting day.." You mumbled.

You entered your Sereniteapot just to visit your beloved. You slowly open the door, seeing him sleeping peacefully. You smiled by just seeing him,

Venti has been guiding you and your travels for a few years now. You sat beside him, and kissed him in the forehead. The moment after you kissed him, you saw him smile as he got up afterwards.

"Well, isn't my Windblume back?" Venti excitedly says, he was very happy seeing you after a very exhausting day. “How have you been?”

“Great, just tired. My body is so sore from ALL the work..” You sigh as you take of all the heavy items off -Venti helping you in the process- “All I just wanna do is lay down and cuddle with you..”

"Hehe.. sure! Come here!" Venti gestures. You gently come up to him and lay beside him. Venti gently pats your head and comforts you, he knew you tried your best on helping other people.

You smile as you close your eyes and relax, melting in Venti’s warmth as you wrapped your arms around his neck, nuzzling your face on his neck as you breathe in his smell.

Venti smiled as he pulls you close, kissing your forehead softly while rubbing his hand up and down your back gently.

“Hey, how about you go take a relaxing bath? That will help you get the soreness away!” Venti gestures, gently pulling you away.

“Hmm.. Sure, that would be nice..” You smile as you sat up and get up as you go get a more-comfortable clothes.

“I’ll get the bath ready for you, you really need it Windblume!” Venti smile as he gets up too and run to the bathroom, readying the warm bath for you.

You smile and chuckle from Venti’s cuteness.

“Such an adorable bean..”

----

After taking a bath, you two finally cuddle on the bed as you two melt in each other’s warmth.

Venti is such a sweetheart. You don’t even know how you got lucky to have him by your side, with you, together. Oh how you wonder on Celestia did you deserve this?

Not until you asked him, the Anemo Archon.

“Hey.. Venti?..” You called for him softly. “Are you still awake?..”

“Hm, yes Windblume?” He looked at you, smiling brightly. Oh you love that smile so much.

You take a deep breath and look at him.

“How did you fall for me?..” You said as you look down, not having an eye contact with him. “I mean.. I’m just a traveler, looking for their sibling.. And not as pretty as the others from Teyvat”

He look down at you, surprised from your words. WHY did you ask such a SILLY question?

“Windblume..” He softly call for you, sighing as he hold your hand. “Look at me..”

You look up at him, with an almost teary eyes.

“Wonder why I fell in love with you?..” He repeats your question, you nod.

He moved a lil as he hold your chin, lifting your face up.

He kissed you.

Your eyes widen, from the sudden kiss.

You slowly melt as you close your eyes, kissing him back as you squeeze his hand.

He licked you bottom lips, asking for permission. You open your mouth as you let him in. This kiss isn’t the lust type of kiss, it’s love, as he kiss you, giving you the kiss of love you deserve.

He kiss his way to your jaw, down to your neck as he suck it. Leaving love marks, as you moan.

He pulled away, giving you a quick kiss.

As he said his answer.

“Because I love you, Windblume...”

#venti #genshin x reader #genshin x oc #venti the bard #lynexperience #venti x traveler #venti x reader #venti x reader smut

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ppoppokari · 5 months

Text

the fae of the oktober woods

pairing~ park seonghwa x oc! reader (this is for my bff katt ya'll)

genre~ (au) (h) (lowkey fluff)

ghostwritten for~ @horanghaejamjam (as a part of the atiny halloween project)

synopsis~ when katt had moved to quiet do-gooder neighbourhood they find that they got more than they bargained for. behind each preppy student and righteous priest was a fascination with the occult. what katt really wanted was to find love, but there was no way that they would find love in a town that felt like hell on earth... right? maybe just maybe they would have to look darkness in the eyes to find a love that would last for an eternity or more.

… or the one where curiosity finally got the better of katt.

wordcount~ 6.5k

featuring~ mentions of christianity, talk of ghost sex but no ghost sex actually occurs, an amateur summoning ritual (mentioned but no graphic summoning happens ), a haunted house, course language, a predator/prey dynamic, alcohol and drug consumption (every one is legal in this fic so don't worry and it's mentioned for a brief second, only seeing it if you squint), strange dreams, hints of smut at the end but no actual smut, i don't want to spoil it but seonghwa isn't who he seems to be- but spoiler he isn’t a faerie

playlist~ 🍄

a/n~ hi! it me~ i may have gotten way too carried away in this one, i was a horror writer for ten years of my life. so this really makes me feel nostalgic. and surprise katt!! i nearly spilt the beans so many times while writing this.

i love you so much buddy 🥹

also a huge thank you to @atinyhalloweenproject for giving me the opportunity to participate and for being so kind and patience, i truly truly appreciate it.

this is kind of creepy, like duh it's horror but this is the uneasy type of horror but it's still kind of sexy?

“Tonights terrifying tale takes us to an everyday neighbourhood, the houses are perfect, the American apple pie life we all want and to make it better the people are just as perfect. But this isn’t about them, it’s a tale of lust, deep desire, and a dance with the devil.

In this episode we will peel back the streets of suburbia and you will find something dark and twisted… if you dare to look.

I’m your host Barry Collins and this is…”

There was no bad blood between you or the ancient, living skeleton of a host but with a swift movement you reached for the remote. Upon doing so you were immediately relieved of the grating static of the old re-run of some ancient black and white Halloween special that had been on loop since you moved in.

Bringing your hands up you lightly pressed your fingers into your temple, an attempt to soothe the persistent migraine that had been lingering since the early hours of this morning.

To say your dreams were getting out of control was a huge understatement, but how could you put it into words. How could you approach your parents and say that you woke up feeling as if an invisible weight was pushing down on your chest paired with sharp ringing in your ears, oh, and don't forget the immediate urge to throw your blankets to the ground and remove your pyjamas that clung to you.

Technically you could, but that wouldn't even touch the surface of everything that had been going on.

One thing was apparent as you looked ahead and saw a human-shaped blur sitting next to you through reflection on the blank screen...The only thing you had control over was the tv.

With a sigh you stood, feigning ignorance as you often did. Three months in this house and such things were a common occurrence, whether it be out of pure exhaustion or extreme confidence you let everything remain as it was. There was no need to search for all your missing items if they didn't want to be found.

Passing by a generous handful of misplaced shadows you made your way to the kitchen, stopping to pet Prince and Gizmo who trailed close to your feet. "You want a treat? You both deserve a treat for guarding my room last night." Crouching low you kept them occupied with a scratch behind their ears before tearing the scrap of bacon that remained on your plate in half. Wiping the grease on the hem of your t-shirt you all but threw your dishes into the sink as you brought your hands up once again.

"Shh stop it, no more headaches, just calm down Katt, it's okay." Your self-soothing was starting to work until a cold hand gripped your shoulder.

A sharp exhale knocked the little air you had as you spun around on high alert. Your sporadic movement startled both you and your mom, you honestly didn't know you had it in you.

"Katt! My god, what's gotten into you?" "Mom, you scared me!" Your shaky voice was a dead giveaway that something was eating away at you, call it luck or mother's intuition but she could sense your invisible thoughts, words that never formed.

"You're so skittish today, is there something I should know?" "I'm not skittish! You literally came out of nowhere, and who grabs shoulders like that. You're like every horror movie mom ever." You were the only one amused by your comeback, which was apparent by your giggle and the fact she just stood their analysing you. So, you decided to break the uncomfortable silence "Don't worry I'm just a little tired."

"If you're too tired you might have to miss the church service tonight, I know they're expecting you to be there but you're honestly not going to miss out on much."

"What?! No! I mean I'm well enough, I'm so energetic right now don't sweat it."

You weren’t looking forward to the bi-monthly sermons that most of the town attended. There were only two things you wanted most in this world, 1. A boyfriend and 2. To spend as much time as possible away from your potentially haunted house. And church could probably give you two of those things but at what cost?

Luckily for you, you really didn't have to submit yourself to an extended church service, opting instead to abandon the sermon and have a bonfire with your friends.

At this point in time, you were being quite generous with the whole ‘friend’ title in a frantic attempt to distract yourself from how shit this town actually was. Normally you would have refrained yourself from being half as critical but honestly Birch Lake was unnerving and the people even more so. Your friends were as preppy as they could get, yet they had their generous dose of duality with their obsession with the colourful history of ghosts and the occult. In any other circumstance you would casually avoid them, but right now you had to make the best of what you had.

"If you need to rest you can stay home, the last thing I want to do is force you to go."

In a motherly fashion she brushed your bangs to the side, resting the back of her hand on your heated forehead.

"It's your call, do what feels best."

Your sleep deprived mind was playing havoc with the words you spoke, resulting in the most gracious word vomit.

"I don't know, I want… I want to, I need..."

"You need to get laid."

“What?”

Phoebe didn't even attempt to hide her eyes rolling to the back of her head “Katt I’m not repeating myself twenty fucking times because you have insomnia or some shit.” Even with all the attitude her eyes met your and she smiled. “I was just saying, you’ve been here for like what? Five months?”

You nodded your head, trying to play it cool as the rest of the group eyed you, it was hard to tell whether the heat came from the bonfire or from their collective gaze burning holes into you. If it wasn’t for the shitty craft beer flowing through your body, you probably would have had the energy required to give a decent response, but you stayed silent drinking in the flames.

Having realised that you weren’t going to bite the bait Phoebe readied another comment before she was abruptly cut off by Tao “It feels like you’re overcompensating for something Phoebe, the lord asks us to look within, and from where I’m sitting, looking through you I see that you’re the one who needs to get laid.”

Amongst your group of friends who you truly would have avoided under any other circumstances, Tao was the most harmless. Regardless, he was still the leader of your group. He didn’t seem like much, but he had wit and charm, he was the shepherd who led your group away from the bible school hall, past the theatre and into the forest to get to a small clearing. Tao was the son of the head pastor meaning he knew how to skip sermons without anyone noticing. He was also the only person who had your back…when he felt like it…which made him a D+ at best but he was still appreciated.

Each person broke into a mocking chorus of laughter, which Phoebe joined in on “Haha ha ha hahahaha fuck all of you, I hope you all die in a ditch in your next lives.”

Taking her comment with a pinch of salt you all resumed back to what you were doing before, listening to Jeremy as he mentioned some old lost media legend. “That reminds me, Jeremy you’re into lost media and stuff, have you seen this black and white tv show it’s kind of like the Twilight Zone but it’s just supernatural horror?” Jeremy looked over the rim of his tortoise-shell glasses, squinting at you, his attention was peaked. “What’s it called?” “I don’t know the name of it, I always miss the opening credits or switch the channel.” “So, it’s one you’ve seen?” “Yeah, it’s hosted by this old guy Barry Collins that’s all I know.” Jeremy raised a brow contemplating what you had just told him “I don’t think I’ve heard of it.” “That’s strange it’s on probably eight times a day and it’s the same episode on loop, or at least I assume it is.” You may have been far too optimistic assuming he would solve this mystery in a mere couple of minutes “Well, sounds like a good show, maybe I can come over sometime and see it”.

As the minutes passed a layer of fog seemed to cover everyone’s eyes, a result of the weed and alcohol stash everyone contributed to. You initially wanted to dull down your senses, hoping the one can you had would serve as mental cough syrup, even though it wasn’t strong enough you refused to have any more. So, you sat, keeping yourself entertained by picking at your black and orange pumpkin nails.

It was when you looked up once more when you noticed something flicker at the corner of your eyes and your throat tightened, if it wasn’t for the size of the bonfire, you wouldn’t have noticed it. But the silver switchblade was shimmering as bright as the stars above. So, you could confirm that you weren’t jumping the gun or losing your mind you did a double take, what you didn’t know was that this would result in the worst mistake you had ever made.

Phoebe noticed the nervous flicker in your eyes as you looked towards her drawstring backpack that was slouched at the edge of the log she sat on. In an instant you had sprung to your feet, though you wanted to run your body was stuck in invisible quicksand, fear ceasing your muscles. There was a delayed reaction of a couple of long seconds before anyone noticed you jumping up in fear.

“Damn Katt you need to chill; you scared me half to death.”

“No! I’m not going to chill! You can’t tell me she isn’t going to hurt me! She has a knife!”

If this were any other circumstance, you would have taken a chill pill and even laughed about it, but this was a sick kind of déjà vu. It was hard to determine when the dream had occurred, each night blurred into one, but one image you would never get out of your head was the one where the infamous Phoebe stood, knife in hand, a piercing look in her eyes as a foggy darkness outlined her petite frame.

“You’re totally taking this out of context, this knife isn’t for you. I had other plans tonight.”

“But…” “No Katt, you spoilt the surprise, I thought you could all do a favour for me. I wasn’t going to mention it yet, but I did some soul searching and realised people suck, and there is no way I’m dating Justin again, but I totally need some dick so the next best option. Obviously summon a ghost to sleep with and call it a night.”

The saddest thing about that was the fact that you couldn’t tell whether she was that drunk or whether she had always been this insane.

“I can sense the judgement don’t act all high and mighty you would do the same thing.” “As far as I can tell I definitely wouldn’t do the same thing!” “Well, the knife isn’t for you, no blood sacrifice, it’s to cut hair, string and other some other stuff. I did the other part of the ritual earlier, but I needed an open fire, so I thought I’d get some help.”

You took a step back, grabbing your bag, you didn’t have to be superstitious to know that this was something you didn’t want to be involved in.

“You’re seriously overreacting Katt, hey, if you help me with the ritual maybe we could have a threesome with the ghost.” A thin layer of bile formed in your throat at the idea. But what truly made your stomach churn was the fact that no one was batting an eye, they had made it clear that they wanted to be in on this either for the thrill of it or they were all equally as insane as each other.

Having stood your ground as best as you could for the whole entire night, you allowed yourself to turn in the other direction and run as soon as the candles were lit, and the sigils were roughly etched into the dank soil next to the fire.

Feeling permanently stuck in flight mode you found it impossible to catch your breath, though you were in motion already the swamp green forestry started to spin. In that moment you were waiting to fall face first into the mud and be taken out of this sweet misery but instead you kept moving, losing balance you hopped a few steps forward and into something, or more appropriately someone judging by the sharp sound of them being winded.

You had already made it up in your mind that if it were Tao or literally any one of those phonies you would shove them away and continue running. So, you readied yourself by pulling your arms back, but like an unstable slingshot your arms snapped down to your sides as you looked up to see the kindest doe eyes that were slightly covered by his loose black hair. Considering how you literally winded him, he still held a gentle gaze as he looked down at you, though nothing was said your heartbeat fell into a soft rhythm. For someone who looked as magical as the forest around him it was almost impossible to imagine what his voice would have sounded like. It was up to the stranger to break the silence and he did oh so gracefully, with a comforting smile he spoke his voice just above a hushed whisper.

“It’s okay, you’re safe, deep breathes. If you’re in danger just squeeze my hand.” It wasn’t like you to trust someone so quickly, but this felt different. “I’m fine, they probably weren’t going to hurt me, I just wanted to go home but I don’t know how to get out of here.” He opened his mouth to respond but paused as he heard the ominous snap of branches. Without hesitation he wrapped his arm around you “I can help you get out of here you just need to stick close and tell me everything. His grip was firm, but not vicious as he led you back to where you came from, you hesitated, your pace slowing down.

As if he could read your mind, he went on to soothe you with his words once again. “We need to cut through here, there’s no way I’m letting you go back there. But now you’ve calmed down I need to know what you were running from.” “I don’t think you’re going to believe me.” You pause awaiting his name. “Seonghwa.” “Seonghwa.” The way his name felt falling from your lips was addictive, “Well.” He paused too “Katt.” “Katt, I doubt you’d be this shaken up for no reason, plus I definitely heard some shouting.”

“I just escaped one potential murderer, so I hope you don’t mind me asking, what are you doing out here so late?” Without missing a beat, he answered. “I was picking mushrooms.” Man, he was really out here being the most ethereal forest being in the universe. Noticing your bewilderment, he continued “My grandma used to forage as a child, and she asked me to go get some mushrooms.” Despite his simple explanation many of your questions remained unanswered, yet your curiosity pushed forward. “So, you’re a fan of ghost mushrooms then, interesting.” Seonghwa grinned at your dry retort “I’m more of an oyster mushroom guy, I imagine the poison would be too bitter for me.”

Scoffing at his response you were captivated by the instant shimmer of light that cast itself onto his cheek, as if he was warmed by the rays he hummed in delight, even though it was a mere streetlamp.

“There you go, I should be getting home.”

Your mind had already weaved a beautiful narrative of discovering “the one” hiding out beneath the shady leaves, so you held onto his arm for a few seconds too long. Seonghwa noticed, tilting his head like a curious rabbit before realisation set in. His soft gaze flickered with a sense of confidence, “Unless you’d prefer that I walk you home.” “I would like that but please don’t keep your grandma waiting.” “I don’t think she’ll mind; evening walks are kind of a norm for me.” “Thank you so much, I owe you one.” Seonghwa looked off into the distance shielding you from his suave grin, part of him hoping that you would give him something sensual in return. Despite his sinful temptation he looked back at you his sharp eyes softening as he feigned innocence. “Katt” He savoured each syllable, “You don’t owe me anything, unless…” He dropped the sentence hoping you’d bite back enough for him to charm you. “Whatever it is, yes.” “I guess I’ll be seeing you tomorrow, friend.”

For the first time that night you genuinely laughed.

“It’s your lucky day, I’m definitely looking for new friends.” The transition between extreme fear and instantaneous lovesickness left you in a daze, so much so that you didn’t realise that either A. Seonghwa knew where you lived or B. That you subconsciously knew where your house was, nor had you realised that you had released his arm from your tight, timid grasp. The swinging of your arms brought forward the autumn winds which then brought forward the faint smell of dirt and mushrooms. The conversation itself was way more colourful than the streetlights that made his eyes twinkle.

The house called your name, but you refused to listen, hesitant to leave Seonghwa’s side. It’s not like you fully believed that it was haunted or evil it just wasn’t it. If he noticed your hesitance, he didn’t acknowledge it. There was something he wanted to say, but instead he glared at the house as if he had a vendetta against it.

“Thanks for walking me home, I really appreciate it.” “Of course, anything to see you safe from the Oktober ghouls and witches.” He said that part with a smooth chuckle, swiping his lower lip with his tongue.

“I hope to see you sometime soon Katt. You made my night even though you practically winded me.” “Hey! I said I was sorry, I think, look I was scared.” “Well, how about you make it up to me with a hug next time? Good night Katt.” One sheepish smile and a polite wave later and Seonghwa was up the road, looking back at you as you entered your house. What he didn’t see or hear was the delighted squeal you let out as you clutched your heart, excited butterflies warmed your heart as you closed your eyes, his face, no his smile, no… his everything was a good enough reason to keep your eyes clenched shut as you walked to your room, again it felt like you already knew this place like the back of your hand. Once you had made it to your room you fell back on your bed, too dazed, and your heart feeling too light to notice the misplaced shadows or the murmuring that surrounded you.

You had fallen asleep, something you found hard to believe, but what was more of a shock was the fact that you also left the door unlocked. Your parents were prepared to enter a house devoid of all your belongings. Luckily nothing had been stolen and even better, after losing sight of you at church, they returned home to find you asleep with a peaceful smile on your face. Even so, they wasted no time questioning your whereabouts as soon as you made your way downstairs for breakfast. You had a keen sense of self-awareness in the way that you knew that your lie was utter bullshit, yet you decided to commit to the bit and claim that you were there for most of the bible study session until you got a stomach-ache and that the church knew about the entire situation and that Tao had walked you home.

“You know you can be honest Katt.” “I’m telling the truth! I haven’t been well lately; it might be a summer cold or like an autumn cold? All I know is it sucks, and I still don’t feel good.” Your dad was certainly more amused by your flailing arms as opposed to your mom who shovelled more syrup-drenched pancakes onto your plate, hoping you would calm down and eat. You didn’t show any sign of stopping, so your mom took any type of silence to interject “Don’t let your pancakes go cold.” Hoping that you had convinced your parents enough you ate, savouring the syrup. You were in no rush to finish them trying to delay the ordeal of doing the dishes today, yet it was that day that your saviour arrived at the door.

As soon as the knock resounded throughout the entire house you jumped up, speed walking away from your parents prying gaze. At this stage you would have been relieved to see the damn mailman, However, you were greeted with something way better. His hair gently fell across his forehead, even though it was a wavy mess it seemed calculated, and he wore a plain white shirt. Only one thought crossed your mind, ‘Were his lips always so rosy?’ Being so captivated by his morning beauty, you overlooked the basket in his hands. “Good morning Katt, I hope I didn’t wake you, but I’m just dropping by to give this to you, see it as a housewarming gift from both of us.” “I, that’s so sweet! You didn’t have to do that, really.” You hadn’t been able to put your finger on it last night but there was something about his eyes, whenever you looked into them you felt even more determined to keep him a secret, he was your own personal fairy, he was magical in every way, a midsummer’s night dream.

As soon as you heard your parents approaching you leaned in close to him, your breath catching the corner of his ear “I’m inviting you inside act like you don’t know me, I haven’t told my parents about you yet.” Seonghwa nodded “Why don’t you come inside?” Seonghwa was about to step inside, but he hesitated, unable to shake the feeling that he was being watched. Cursing on the inside he stepped inside, lured in by the way you looked over your shoulder, beckoning him to follow you.

Seonghwa had always been perceptive, he could sense when he wasn’t wanted and even though he knew you were ecstatic to see him the constant chattering of disembodied voices was headache inducing. Still Seonghwa smiled appearing as charming as ever when he introduced himself to your parents “I can’t stay for long, I just wanted to drop this off.” You couldn’t tell if his ethereal nature was lost on them or whether they were in awe of him like you were. They seemed almost robotic in their response; it was rare for them to be this polite to anybody especially a guy that you liked. He must have had that effect on people.

“Park Seonghwa, I just got back a couple of days ago, out of town for my grandmother’s knee operation, we made this together to welcome you. It’s sort of a tradition of ours.” Your mom stood, impressed by his reserved nature. She reached for the basket noticing that it was predominantly food combined with a few small ornaments. “It’s all homemade.” He had a habit of smiling whenever he mentioned his grandma and it made you wonder if she was just as kind as Seonghwa.

Your mom was somewhat shocked at the revelation she gestured to the wooden ornaments “These too?” “Yeah, we carved them out of oak.” You knew her silence meant that she was impressed, marvelling at the fine lines etched into the wood but Seonghwa couldn’t read her. “It’s not a good luck charm or anything it’s just something good to look at.” “I think it’ll look perfect right here.” Pushing it into the centre of the dining room table your mom scooped the basket into her arms. “Wait, is that strawberry jam? Pass it here.” Passing you the old hand-painted jar she walked into your kitchen, you assumed they were probably going to wear his name out behind his back, it was apparent by the fact that your dad trailed after her instead of Gizmo or Prince.

“You’re so magical I was literally craving strawberry jam.” Since they had walked away Seonghwa had relaxed, a flirty smile overtaking him as he noticed you struggling with the jar. The brush of his hand sent a jolt of flaming electricity down your spine, but it had yet to disappear as his cool hands lingered on top of yours. “I’ll get that.” Upon passing the jar to him it was open in one swift motion of his wrist, as a force of habit you reached for the jar “Oh my, I told you I got it.” Placing the jar on the table he dipped the discarded butter knife into it collecting the jam. He did the following with such ease, tearing off the edge of an untainted pancake and smearing it with red.

It was naïve of you to think that Seonghwa was an innocent man, devoid of any form of lust, in the short time you had known him he was constantly dancing on the fine line of being an innocent boy and a man fully aware of everything around him. In short, he knew what he was doing when he brought the pancake up to your mouth. His fingers were skilfully positioned to ensure that once you took a bite the jam would dirty them, in any other situation he would avoid anything sticky or that wasn’t mud. Unlike those moments he knew that someone, you, would clean them for him. Instead of removing his fingers he let them linger until you licked the jam from his fingers.

“That’s it.”

Seonghwa’s words meant nothing at the time, but that was then after spending each day together that’s the reality you now had. You went from taking comfort into Tao’s kindness to chasing after Seonghwa, or at least you would be the one chasing after him if he didn’t show up at your house or approach you while you were out and lure you away. Following the situation with the strawberry jam Seonghwa was subtle. He would edge you by showing the side of him that was willing to kiss you silly, but for some reason he never did kiss you. He wanted to but not yet. So here you were in a section of the woods that you most likely ran past in a panic on that one night that you never wanted to relive. For once your life seemed like one every suburban teen lived even if you were a little too old to be considered one. You sat on the ratty tartan picnic blanket drowning in happiness.

Seonghwa made a habit of occasionally looking up at you from his section of the clearing, his hands littered with dirt as he ran his hands across the clumped dirt while he hummed along to the radio. “I swear I’m not holding it against you, but you did promise to help me.” “And I will I’m just thinking.” “About?” “Things… but more importantly why don’t you ever wear gloves when you do that?” “It depends on the answer that you want. I can give you sane or insane, take your pick.” “I’ll take the Seonghwa answer.” “Maybe it’s not the weirdest thing ever but I like the feeling of the dirt on my fingers so damp and cool, plus who needs cologne when the dirt makes you smell so fresh.” “Seonghwa, you know that half of the time I can’t tell whether you’re telling the truth or not.” “Yes, and I thought that’s what made you like me. I’m pretty sure you said you liked my Hozier charm, even though he probably copied my likeness.” Seonghwa prodded at the dirt again.

It was the second time you broke your promise to Seonghwa, you did say you would help him collect, mushrooms, acorns, and butterfly wings amongst other things. It sounded like a fun Saturday afternoon but as the time came you just wanted to admire how beautiful he was, a hobby that you discovered days after meeting him. The leaves blocked out the afternoon sun, providing you with the privacy you needed to make the next move.

Seonghwa looked straight ahead, despite being away from you he could hear the thudding in your chest, he sensed fear. But it didn’t make sense he hadn’t done it yet, immediate dread filled him. It seemed you had finally caught on to his lies. Instead of showing his exasperation he kept looking ahead at him, ignoring the centipede that crawled over him he pressed his palms into the wet dirt trying to calm himself. He didn’t feel fear, don’t get it twisted his dread came from the fact that the game of cat and mouse had been cut incredibly short.

“Seonghwa, I have something to tell you.” That’s not what he expected, he sighed in relief he had never been the best at reading human emotions. Bracing himself to be ever the gentleman you knew him to be Seonghwa rose from the ground, patting his on his upper thigh. Approaching you he kneeled peering into the deepest part of your eyes “What is it?” Honestly you were prepared to shout it out to him but having him this knocked all the air out of your body.

‘Get it together Katt’ you thought when he brought his hand up to your shoulder. His gaze was hooded waiting for permission, he was monstrous on the inside, but he wasn’t devoid of sympathy even if it was false in nature.

“I didn’t keep my promise.” “You silly thing, you can always start by searching over there.” “Not that promise… You told me the night we met that you wanted a friend, I owed it to you, and I can’t do it.” He thought he knew how this was going to end, yet you had him stumped. “None of this makes any sense Katt.”

“I don’t know how else to say this Seonghwa, I love you and that’s it.”

If Seonghwa knew how to feel guilt he would have but that wasn’t the way of the incubus, then again, he didn’t know whether he ever acted like his kind. As far as he knew he was the only one who played with his victims before devouring their lustful souls. It was the thrill of the chase he wanted more than anything. After your confession you had looked away from him, your nerves had gotten the best of you. But by the time you looked back up at him your heart that you had so lovingly given to him got caught in your throat. Your first reaction was to scream so you did, but over the loud radio and his hand pressed against your throat there was no way that scream would grace his presence.

Looking ahead all, you could do was shudder at the man in front of you, though he no longer looked like a living man. His skin was light pewter, coated in thick crackling mud that hardened across his arms, except for the mud on his finger which smeared against your skin. And his eyes? Oh, his eyes were something, even in your terrified state you wanted to swim in his too cold to be orange and the too hot to be blue eyes.

“Sshh little one, if you listen to me I… Well, I doubt you’ll be getting out of here anytime soon. But don’t fret.” The creature between you clicked his tongue against his partially sharpened teeth, but he faltered as you gurgled out a panicked gasp. “Katt, Katt, Katt what am I ever going to do with you. You betrayed my trust; you said you would promise to be my friend yet you’re looking at me like I’m a monster. Seonghwa leaned in his cool breath tickling the edge of your ear. “I couldn’t sense lust like I did when I first met Pheobe, she was lying there inside of the string circle oh so desperate. But let me tell you this. I didn’t want her. I wanted you.” Seonghwa released you and to his surprise you didn’t run, and it warmed him. After all, Seonghwa truly felt like he wasn’t like any other incubus, he didn’t know love, he thrived on fear, but you had captivated him. So, he intended to use the time he had with you to present you with the offer of a lifetime.

“Seonghwa, please I don’t want to die like this.” Seonghwa brought both of his hands up again but this time he cupped your face “Don’t be sorry sweetheart, you have no reason to fear me. You’re lucky she was so far north, if she was in any other part of the forest she could have easily summoned San, Mingi or Hongjoong and trust me they wouldn’t have let you leave. It’s still me.” It was frankly insane, this had to be one of your elaborate nightmares. “Katt, I was willing to kill you, but not now, I have other plans. I just want you to hear me out but first I would like you to enlighten me. Tell me… why were you so keen to want me?”

The urge to run was still present but looking at him you still managed to see the man you fell in love with, it was odd to still love something like him but his voice, this everything was enough to have you chasing after him. “I thought I finally found the person who truly understands me, I thought you would fool me into liking this stupid town but turns out I was the stupid one.”

“If you’re a fool then I am as equally so for I have a proposal.” His eyes were flickering like two sleepy flames ready to die out, you would have run but one thing was keeping you where you were, the growing warmth in his touch.

“I recall each word you uttered to me, you want the nightmares to stop, you want the voices to stop. What if I said I could help you?” Your throat was ashen dry, so you gave up on answering him, but your eyes said it all. “Instead of making a deal with the devil I would like you to consider making a deal with an incubus. Even if you failed to keep your promises, I know you will be able to keep this one.” At first you had assumed that your compliance was a way of survival but as strange, sick, and twisted as it sounded your heart already found a way to love him. “Tell me about this deal.”

Today was a day of firsts and Seonghwa finally had the pleasure of saying that he had experienced resting his head against that of someone he would have loved if he were human. “If you agree to do this, let me bed you out here let me give you a part of myself I can guarantee that no one in this town, human, demon, or ghost will harm you. I will protect you Katt, I will take away all the noise and all your nightmares if you let me.” “Please do it.”

He crashed his lips onto yours, you savoured the taste. It was rough but knowing Seonghwa or whoever this creature was it was safety. Bringing your arms up you clasped them around him encouraging him to dip his body down. “I’m trying hard Katt, but I want to taste you.” “I didn’t think incubuses cared about their victims.” “You’re mistaken you’re definitely mine but a victim? Of course not.” Seonghwa’s touch seemed to transition from stone cold to warm and comforting with each lingering kiss. After dragging them across each inch of your body he unbuttoned your black and orange cardigan. One, two or three kisses and you were addicted, it was hard to tell as each kiss bled into the other. Instead of letting the cardigan fall off your shoulder Seonghwa hooked the edge of it with his finger, dragging it down. Expecting more gentle touches you were startled by the sensation of his teeth nipping at your bare skin, ever the mystic forest fairy he seemed to be he made roses bloom in his wake.

You had snuck through the back door this time, another faint smile gracing your lips, another difference was the fact that your parents were home this time. They remained optimistic, you were bright and talkative over the past few weeks, but this time you walked straight past them. Taking a seat on the couch you stared at the black screen ahead of you, you looked a mess, but you loved it. Your eyes were too cold to be orange and too hot to be blue, the mud was beginning to crack on your skin but probably the thing you were the most grateful for was the fact that Seonghwa kept his promises, the voices in your head ceased to exist and for a split second you could see Seonghwa sitting next to you.

“Whatever I feel for you Katt know it’s the most powerful thing in this waking world.” His words melted away along with his smoky figure. Staring ahead of the screen you couldn’t help but sigh as you rubbed your head before laughing, that was a habit you could stop now. The pain and the voices ceased thanks to him. As you closed your eyes, reliving the sensation of Seonghwa’s body on yours, his tongue wrapped around your most sensitive areas and his hands scratching down your back you closed your eyes. All that was heard was the tv turning on as the same ancient host was brought back to life.

“I will let you in on a little secret, listen closely. Sometimes love and terror can prove to be as beautiful as one another, we chase love because we fear that we will be alone but some of us look fear incarnate in the eyes and we fall in love. Next door to that everyday neighbourhood, that American apple pie life, is a forest. And some of us let curiosity get the better of us, but it’s certainly not all bad for we find new life by running away from the old. The piercing yowling of the ghosts cease to exist, because Katt looked evil in the eye and hidden underneath his heaving breath Katt heard a faint thud of a heartbeat."

#atinyhalloweenproject #park seonghwa #ateez x reader #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa x oc #ateez seonghwa #kpop x reader #ateez #au #demon au #demon seonghwa #ateez demon au #ateez x oc #incubus seonghwa

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arecaceae175 · 1 year

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GUESS WHO SHOULD BE WORKING ON XYR FINAL PROJECTS BUT WROTE THIS HYRULE SNIPPET INSTEAD

(hint: it's me)

@miadancer24 I DID IT HERE'S YOUR BOY! This is a portion of a fic I'm working on that's basically 8 times Sky defends another member of the chain and one time they all defend Sky :D

So here, have 675 words out of context fluff / hurt/comfort first draft of our most precious bean learning to love himself (just like all of you should):

(Warnings: discussion of low self esteem)

[...]

Sky gently lowered himself to the ground next to Hyrule. Hyrule had his blankets wrapped snugly around his head and shoulders, and his eyes were still drooping despite the stamina potion from Wild. Legend had argued they needed to let Hyrule sleep, but Sky knew Hyrule would need food and water for his body to heal.

"Hi," Sky said softly. Hyrule's gaze flicked toward Sky then fell back to his mug.

"Hi," Hyrule said.

"Can we talk?" Sky asked. He pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them.

"I'm not going to say what I did was wrong," Hyrule said.

"I know," Sky said. He felt a small smile on his face. "I'm glad you're standing up for yourself."

Hyrule's face burned red and he averted his eyes further.

"I want to talk about what you said," Sky added. "Do you remember?"

Hyrule paused a moment, then shook his head no. Sky sighed.

"I won't repeat it, but... Hyrule, can you look at me, please?" Sky asked. Hyrule slowly brought his gaze up to meet Sky's. Sky took a deep breath and put as much sincerity into his gaze as he could muster.

"You don't have to earn your place," Sky said. "We love you for who you are, not what you can do for us."

Hyrule couldn't hold Sky's gaze. He turned away and ducked his head into his shoulder. Sky scooted closer and hovered a hand over Hyrule's shoulder, but let it drop back to his knees.

"Your worth is innate. You deserve to be here because you're an amazing hero, and you have so many skills and talents, and you're a wonderful person to be around, but also because you just do," Sky paused, and let his own gaze fall to his feet.

"You know I get sick a lot. Before I figured out how to keep my body healthy, I would be stuck in bed for days at a time," Sky said. Hyrule kept his shoulders hunched, but turned his face enough for Sky to see the tears glistening in his eyes. Sky took a grounding breath, and continued.

"I felt like a burden, sometimes. I felt like I had to make it up to everyone when I was healthy since they took care of me when I was sick, but I would overdo it and end up sick again. Once, I admitted to Zelda that I felt guilty for being a burden on her, and..."

Sky chuckled as the memory of her, frankly adorable, angry face came into his memory.

"She was so mad. She was offended I thought that of her, and upset I thought that of myself, and mad at herself for letting me believe that about myself. Overall, not pleased," Sky continued with a smile. Hyrule's returning smile was small, but it was there.

"Now when I have bad health days, or bad mental health days, I just tell her, or Groose. It works a lot better that way," Sky said. He shifted until he was in front of Hyrule and put his hand on the dirt between them.

"I know you want to help, but you can't overdo it like that and risk your own health. We would still value you even if you never used your healing powers again, or never helped in battle again, or anything, okay?" Sky asked.

Hyrule's gaze was locked on Sky's hand. Slowly, Hyrule pulled his hand out from his mound of blankets and placed it over Sky's. Sky felt hope surge through him as he flipped his hand to grip Hyrule's and squeezed it reassuringly.

"I know one conversation isn't going to completely change your mindset. You don't have to believe me right now, but... can you at least say you're going to try?" Sky asked.

Hyrule nodded, and Sky watched a tear slowly slide down his cheek. "I promise."

[...]

#ace writes #:D #sky defends the chain #linked universe #lu hyrule #lu sky #this is only first draft #hope it's good to read :)#i was feeling the feels when I was writing this 🥲#IT GETS BETTER GUYS #IF YOU'RE WHERE HYRULE IS RN #I CAN PROMISE #IT GETS BETTER #<3

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maxzinn · 2 years

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warnings: age gap (it’s not that big, you’re older by 3 years than shoto), fluff, tooth-rotting fluff, fluff, fluff, fluff

Ok just hear me out.

what if ok? what if shoto was younger than reader and he started to have feelings for “onee-san” and he knew he just HAVE to act before some bastard who doesn’t even deserve you takes you away from him.

so it started when it was halloween, five years old shoto dressed in a white cloak and has a pumpkin head for a helmet (if ya guys know what i mean). after putting his costume on and his mother gushing and taking pictures of just how cute he is, midoriya and bakugo came to his house to pick him up for trick or treat.

midoriya suggested that they start it their neighbourhood since him and kacchan knew people who would gladly give them lots of candies, and so they did. they roamed the neighbourhood, passing by the kind old lady who gave them candies and red bean paste or free, before finally stopping by your house.

midoriya immediately rang the bell and waited for you to come out when you finally opened the door and saw three little gremlins standing by your front door in their little halloween costumes. shoto was starstruck. he couldn’t stop staring at you as you smiled sweetly and kindly while putting candies in their own baskets. you took notice of his bright eyes staring at you with his mouth slightly gape and you chuckled, pinches his cheek and gives him candy.

and when it was time to finally leave, you gave them a kiss on the cheek before they leave for another candy hunt. shoto blushed as you pressed your lips on his soft chubby cheeks and from that day, he just knew he wanted to see that kind big sister in izucchan and kacchan’s neighbourhood.

cuz of that, he started to force his mother to take him to his favourite neighbourhood under the pretense of “wanting to play with his friends”.

Bitch, he even fought his mother for it

Rei, eventually gives up and brings him to the neighborhood every time he asked. She then found out about his little crush because he’s so damn obvious and Rei was like “ohh :o”

And she came to realize that her son is a little sh-

Rei found it cute though, shoto’s face goes bright red and his eyes sparkles everytime he stares at you. But ofc, she didn’t take a kid’s crush too seriously. I mean, all of us eventually have crushes as a kid so why tf not? She thought “yea, it’s normal” and thought that it will pass and disappear once he gets older.

But oh boi is she wrong. It didn’t disappear.

He enrolled the same school as you and even forced his friends to come with him like “boi if you little shits don’t come with me, I swear to god I’ll kick your asses”—

Long story short, they ended up entering the same high school as you 💀

You being their “senpai” ofc ☺️

(You’re 3 years older btw)

This dude tried all that he could to get your attention without you seeing him as a “baby brother”, but eventually, he failed.

How could you be so cruel? 😭😔

It came to the point that he, eventually, couldn’t take it anymore and went for drastic measures.

So he approached you, grabs your arm and KABEDON.

You were like 😳🧐😃❓❓‼️

“Shoto, what are you-“

But before you could finish, he leans to your ear and whispered—

“Nee-chan~” 😩😏😮‍💨

He really knows how to test your patience, this motherfucker- 🫣

HAHAHA it’s been on my mind alright? I just need to share it ig

#maxzinn #shoto x y/n #shoto x you #shouto todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto x reader #bnha shoto #mha shoto #todoroki x reader

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bleujae · 1 year

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・❥・𝔹𝕖𝕒𝕦𝕥𝕚𝕗𝕦𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝔹𝕣𝕠𝕜𝕖𝕟・❥・

❥ Summary: Is love something that someone always "deserves"? Shouldn't it that can be given to everyone?

❥ Pairing: Jake x fem!reader

❥ Genre: fluff, angst

❥ Word count: 3.2K

❥ Warnings: cursing, mentions of abuse, and alcohol,*let me know if there's anything else I should add ^^*

"계절은 변한대도 난 너인걸, 난 너를 사랑해~"

•———————————————•°・❥・°•——————————————•

“That will be $14.50. Your drinks will be out in a bit.” Jina smiled at the customer before turning to the back to make the three drinks.

She threw the ingredients for the smoothie into the blender and took out the coffee beans for the iced americanos that were ordered as well. As she waited for the coffee to brew she leaned over the counter and took a deep breath.

Because it was a Saturday, Jina had been working since morning and now it was close to closing time.

She looked up when she heard the blender stop and grabbed a cup, pouring the drink into the clear cup. She had also finished the coffee drinks and handed them to the lady.

“Have a nice day~” She slightly bowed to the lady.

Jina scanned the empty cafe; well, almost empty cafe. Her eyes landed on her boyfriend that was working on his computer, with different notebooks scattered around the table. His huge physics textbook was on his lap as his eyes darted from his notebooks and textbooks constantly.

She slowly creeped up behind him before wrapping her arms around him. “I told you to get some dinner. It’s not good to eat dinner this late.”

Jake turned around to face Jina and pouted. “But I wanted to eat with you.”

“But I still gotta clean up.” Jina giggled when she saw her boyfriend's face. “It’s close to 10pm.”

“It’s ok. I’ll wait. Then we can get something to eat, ok?” Jake smiled as Jina nodded before she turned around, going back to behind the counter.

-------

“Wait, so she’s been collecting more money than she should be?” Jake exclaimed.

Jina nodded. “Yeah, I confronted her about it and so everything's fine now.”

“That’s so messed up though….. All your hard earned money….” Jake trailed off. It was understandable that Jake was angrier than Jina was. Both were very nice and understanding, known for being sweethearts on campus. However it was more known that Jina was extremely patient and understanding, hence the reason why Jina had just let her landlord go.

“It’s fine. She apologized and all. She is a nice person though. Let’s just hope she doesn't do that to anyone else.” Jina smiled, patting her boyfriend’s hand who was getting riled up.

“Always positive and understanding. That’s why I love you so much.” Jake chuckled as he brought his soda can up to his lips to take another sip. But he quickly stopped when he realized what had slipped out.

Jina’s chopsticks stopped moving as she was about to grab her food and her eyes widened. She slowly turned around to face Jake, whose face was getting slightly red.

“Y-you…. You love me….?” Jina breathed out.

The truth is in the two years of dating, Jake knew he had loved Jina after their first anniversary passed. But everytime he wanted to say those words out loud he would get a flashback of that one night when they both got drunk and Jina had confessed something. She doesn’t remember but he remembers every word so clearly.

“I’m afraid of falling in love. I don’t know what love feels like and I’m afraid that when the time comes, I won’t know if it’s real or not.”

“Jaeyun-ah…. I’m so broken”

“I don’t think I’m capable of loving someone. And I don’t think I’m capable of being loved” Jina whispered out as she had tears streaming down her face.

Jina had been in an orphanage for most of her life. Her birth parents couldn’t provide for her so they had left her at an orphanage when she was a newborn baby. And the multiple families that had adopted her weren’t very kind to her. They never showed her love, actually they showed the exact opposite of love. She had finally gotten away from her horrible adopted parents when going to college, but she still had no idea what love felt like.

Jake, on the other hand, had a very normal childhood. Of course since he is human, he did grow up with scars but he grew up around a loving family and friends. When he had transferred to Korea from Australia in his first year of university, he was lucky that his friends had taken him under their wings and made him feel comfortable in a new environment.

Sure, Jina liked the male, very much. Whenever he would smile at her or do something, her stomach would flutter. Whenever he would hug her or he would kiss her, she did feel tingly. But she didn’t know if that was just skin deep feelings or something much more.

It was silent before Jake spoke up. “I-I….. I do….. I love you.” He confessed while stumbling over his words, scared of what her response would be.

Jina couldn’t speak, she felt the breath sucked out of her. “I…” She felt like her words were caught in her throat. She had her mouth opened, but no words would come out.

Do I love him? What should I say? What if I say it now but I actually don’t?

A million thoughts were running through her head. They were broken when Jake cleared his throat, gaining her attention.

He slightly pulled on his turtleneck, feeling slightly uncomfortable of what the atmosphere had become. “Y-you… uhm… you don’t need to respond to me right away… I think I should get going. Jay and Sunghoon were texting me, asking where I am.”

Jina quickly stood up, picking up her bag with her. “Uhm yeah. I gotta go back. I have to take Cloudy out on a walk before she goes to sleep.”

“Uhm, want me to walk you to the bus stop?” Jake offered.

“No, it's fine. It’s not even a two minute walk.” And before Jake could say anything, Jina quickly turned around and started walking towards the bus stop in a fast past, desperately wanting to get away from the awkward atmosphere as soon as possible.

She arrived at the bus stop and plopped down on the bench. She looked at her phone and saw it was 10:10. The bus usually came at 10:15 so she had time.

She let out a deep sigh, having the scene from earlier replay in her mind. She kept thinking of Jake’s heartbroken eyes and his wavering voice that he was trying to keep calm. It was very obvious that even though Jake understood her reaction, he couldn’t help but feel hurt that she couldn’t say anything back.

To make it better, she heard her phone buzz. She opened her eyes and looked at her phone once again, curious what it was.

Hi, is this Kang Jina? This is Park Yeseul, your birth mom. I heard you were looking for me. Can we meet this weekend?

Jina felt her breath hitch in her throat again, reading the text messages over and over again. She brought her phone and sighed again.

“What great timing.”

-------

“Really you did? Congrats Jina~” That was the first thing Jake heard as he plopped down in class next to Jay.

It was two days after Jake confessed his love to Jina and there were no calls or messages on both ends. Jake, for the first time in months, didn’t go to the cafe that Jina worked at on Sunday, afraid that the awkward atmosphere would make both of them uncomfortable. And Jina had no guts to text or call him. Both were too anxious to call the other person, afraid that now the other person might hate them. Jake beat himself up for saying it too fast, saying it at a time when Jina wasn’t ready. Jina was thinking about it constantly, thinking if her childhood was different, would she have answered back “I love you” wholeheartedly with a confident tone.

“What? I can’t go with you. Why not ask Jake?” Jay asked the girl. The Australian boy whipped his head around when he heard his name come out of his friend’s mouth.

“Oh? Ok? Bye Jina.” Jay put his phone down, confused on why Jina seemed so flustered and desperate to end the call when he mentioned Jake.

“That was Jina? What were you congratulating her for?” Jake cautiously asked. Even though it’s only been two days, he had missed the girl terribly, wanting to know how she was doing.

“Yeah. Apparently she got in touch with her birth parents and they’re meeting for dinner this coming weekend. Isn't that great?” Jay answered, happy for his friend.

Not only did Jake know, but Jay, Sunghoon and Heeseung all knew that Jina was searching for her birth parents ever since she got to college. She had no freedom in her old household so as soon as she was able to leave her old house she started searching for her biological parents.

“Yeah…. That’s amazing.” Jake trailed off thinking of what Jina had said to him when she first opened up to him about her childhood and adoption.

“You know Jaeyun-ah? When I find my biological parents, I want you to come with me to meet them.” Jina said.

“Why?” Jake asked.

“Cause I want to introduce you as someone who was the closest thing to family after them.”

Would she even want me there now?

-------

Jina sat at the restaurant table, nervously fiddling around with her fingers and bracelet Jake had gotten her a while back. She had come fifteen minutes early out of nerves and now she had been just sitting there staring at her phone.

Should I text him…. No. Why would he come… He probably hates me now.

Jina thought aloud and shook off the thought of calling Jake over. Even when she called Jay, she did consider talking it over with Jake and inviting him over. But she was too scared to face him again after the incident, afraid that she had created a gap in the relationship that she couldn’t repair. She was too afraid that she had made one of the most important people in her life hate her now.

Her train of thoughts were cut off when she felt a presence behind her. She turned around to come face to face with a man and women with two kids by their side, one looked about 8 years old and the other looked about 2 years old. The couple looked like they were about in their late 30s or early 40s.

“Jina…..?”

“Eomma….?”

Both whispered out softly.

The woman’s eyes started tearing up as she scanned her daughter’s face. “You grew up so much. Last time I saw you, you were only one year old.” Her mom whispered out.

Jina at the moment had no words to say. She had dreamed of this moment since she was young, she had thought of a million scenarios in her head, what it would be like when she met her biological parents. Her eyes started to tear up seeing her mom emotional.

“Why… Why did you leave me?” That was the only thing that Jina could ask, not knowing what else to say. She didn’t hate her parents, she just wanted to know why her parents didn’t want her or why they couldn’t keep her.

“Oh sweetie, I didn’t want to leave you. But I conceived you when I was still very young, at the age of 19. That time I had no money, as a broke college student and neither did your father. We thought it would be best to give you away from a nice family to provide for you.” Her mom answered.

Nice family….

Jina thought as she suddenly got flashbacks of her life before university. All the beatings she had received. The degrading words that now have stayed in her heart as scars. The treatment that no human should ever have to go through.

“Are you ok? Is something wrong?” Jina snapped out of her trance as she saw that both of her parents looked at her, worried.

“Hmm? Uhm.. yeah. I’m fine.” Jina smiled to reassure the two adults in front of her. Today was a happy day and she didn’t want to ruin it by telling all the horrible stories from her childhood.

Her parents sat down across from Jina while both kids took the spot on each end of the table. They had ordered their food and were waiting for their food.

The entire time, Jina's eyes keep trailing over to her phone. She didn’t know why. It’s not like Jake knew about this appointment and Jay wouldn’t come, since he did say no to her…. multiple times.

“Are you waiting for someone’s call?” Her mom had noticed Jina getting distracted and was glancing at her phone a lot.

“Huh? No I no-”

“Sorry for being late.” A voice cut her off.

Jina’s eyes widened as she recognized the voice and she quickly turned around. There stood Jake, with a white button up shirt and black trousers with a big beige coat over it. His hair was swept, revealing his forehead. It was such a simple outfit but the male looked ethereal in her eyes.

“Oh Jina, who’s this?” Her father asked, curious about the mysterious man who showed up.

“I’m Sim Jaeyun, her boyfriend. Nice to meet you.” He slightly bowed while introducing himself. He leaned over to shake Jina’s father’s hand which the older male gladly received.

“Oh my oh my! You should sit.” Her mom had gestured to the seat next to Jina.

“Thank you.” Jake took a seat on the vacant seat next to Jina, letting out a small shaky nervous breath. Even though he didn’t show that he was nervous, he definitely wasn’t completely calm. He knew how important this day was for Jina and wanted to make a good first impression. He wanted to be there for her…. Even though she might not love him back.

Jake felt a small tap on his arm and he turned around to see the eight year old tapping his arm. She shyly put her stuffed bunny on the table. It was a white bunny that had a small yellow ribbon tied around one of the ears into a pretty bow.

“Is this your bunny?” The male asked the girl. “What’s its name?”

“Mimi.” The girl answered brightly. “Lookie, it even got a bow on it.”

“Oh wow. It’s yellow too. That’s my favorite color. Is it yours too?” Jake smiled at how happy the girl looked.

“Yeah. It’s the color of sunflowers. My favorite flower.” The girl beamed as she pointed to the pin in her hair. It was a simple pin that had three small sunflowers lined up next to each other.

“That’s very pretty.” Jake complimented as the girl giggled.

Jina admired from next to him, how he interacted with Jiyoon so naturally. It was cute seeing him talking in a softer tone for the younger girl, seeing his mouth stretched out in a small smile while he cooed at how cute Jiyoon was.

“So, how long have you guys been dating?” Jina’s mom asked the two students, curious about her daughter’s relationship.

“Two years. Our third anniversary is coming up soon though.” Jake answered the older female.

“Aww how cute.” She cooed at the younger couple. “I remember when my husband and I were like you guys. Ahh so in love, right?”

Jina slightly stiffened at the word love, remembering what happened last week. Jake noticed this and placed his hand over hers under the table. He slowly rubbed his fingers along the back of her hand to calm her down, while maintaining eye contact with Jina’s parents.

“Tell me about Jina. I tried asking Jina earlier to tell me some stuff about her but she had a hard time answering.” Jina’s mom asked, turning to Jake.

“About Jina? There’s a lot.” Jake chuckled before thinking about what to say. “Jina is kind and hardworking. Even though she’s tired when she works at the cafe, she’ll always have a smile on her face for the customers. And she has such a big heart too. When people ask her favors, she does her best to fulfill that request as best as she can. The dog she has now was actually a stray dog she picked up. She brought her home despite her being scared of dogs at the time. And she’s so lovable too. Not only does so many adore her but she’s loving to so many people and caring. She’s absolutely gorgeous in every way inside and out.”

Jina sat there shocked by what came out of her boyfriend’s mouth. She never knew that he had viewed her this way and was surprised when she heard him say that she was a loving person. She never thought she could be capable of giving love out to people as she was told by her adopted parents that she wouldn't give or receive love.

“Thank you for telling us.” Her mom said to the younger male while putting her hand over her husband’s. “And thank you for being a second family to Jina when we weren’t able to be her first.”

-------

Jina had finished having dinner with her parents and was now walking home with Jake. The male had insisted even though she had declined, worried about her walking alone at night.

There was a slight gap between the couple and an awkward silence that hung around them. It was weird for both of them to not have their hands intertwined. But it was hanging on each other’s sides, lightly brushing up against each other as they walked. They had walked with that same atmosphere all the way through until they arrived at Jina’s house.

“Well here we are. Go in safely.” Jake smiled as he turned around to go back to his house.

“J-Jaeyun-ah.” Jina called out.

Jake halted his steps before turning around. “Yeah?”

Jina’s hand felt clammy as she couldn’t formulate the words she wanted to say. “I.. uhm… never mind.”

Jake's eyes narrowed slightly, noticing that she started to fiddle around with her bracelet, a habit she had when she was nervous. “You sure?”

Jina nodded hesitantly. “Ok…. well I’ll get going.” He turned around once more and started to walk back.

Tell him you love him, idiot. Tell him now before it’s too late.

Those two sentences were the only words echoing in her brain as she saw Jake’s body getting further and further away from her.

Jina slowly started to walk up to Jake’s figure whose back was facing her. She hesitantly put one foot in front of the other, thinking again and again to confirm her feelings.

She realized at the restaurant that she, too, loved Jake.

All the butterflies erupting in her stomach when he would say something sweet, was love

All the times she felt fireworks going off in her heart from the way he kissed her, was love.

The fact that she absolutely adored everything about him, even the bad parts, was love.

The way she looked at him in admiration for his inside and out beauty, was love.

When she reached him, she grabbed his arm and swung him around to face her before standing slightly on her tippy toes and pressing a kiss on his lips.

Jake's eyes widened slightly but immediately responded to her, melting into the sweet kiss filled with love.

“Thank you for coming today.” That was the first thing Jina said when she broke the kiss. “You were always there for me, always caring for me. And that’s why I love you so much.”

Jake blinked, not believing his ears. “Y-you…love me too?” He breathed out.

“I do… All this time I couldn’t say I love you because I was scared. I was scared that my adopted parents’ words would be true, that I wasn't capable of loving someone. I was scared that I wasn’t good enough for you, that a nicer girl can come and get to you. But now I know what love is. I love you, Sim Jaeyun, I really do. I love how you’ll sing any song I request, even though you’re tired. I love how soft your voice sounds in all the songs you sing. I love how you can enthusiastically go on and on about anything science related, even though nobody really understands what you’re saying.” Jake lightly chuckled at the third sentence. She was the only one that would patiently listen to all of his rants about the research he had done. “I love how clumsy you are even though every single time I need to patch up your wounds. I love how kind you are to everyone around you, even though the favors make you go out of your way to fulfill them. I love how cute you look when sometimes you get annoyed or frustrated. I love that even if you're a bit stubborn, in the end you’ll give in because you want to see me happy no matter what. I love all these small little things about you that sometimes I don’t think you realize but really, I love all of it.” Jina breathed out.

Jake looked at her with loving eyes, while he caressed her hair and moved her baby hairs that were getting on her face. He wasted no time before he placed his hand on the back of neck before he pulled her into a kiss.

The kiss was quickly broken off when they heard a motorcycle zoom past behind them. They both jumped out of the kiss before giggling.

With his hands still cupped on Jina’s cheeks he leaned in for a third kiss. Jina wrapped her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. Jake slowly started walking forward, causing Jina to back up until her back hit the wall.

Fireworks exploded in both of their hearts as their lips moved in perfect sync, filled with love and passion.

They both pulled away, slightly out of breath. Their eyes were glued onto the other's not being able to tear their eyes away. Their eyes were practically dripping with love looking at their lover.

Jake slightly caressed Jina’s cheek. “Kang Jina, I love you so damn much.”

Jina smiled. “Sim Jaeyun, I love you too… so damn much.”

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