#firering bitty | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

doodle-zombie · 3 years

Text

Lamia Bonding Drama

Finished RP with @theriverpersonshadow that turned into an absolute monster once we both sat down and started it. I think we finished this in under a week? The final word count is...25,546 (after some editing by me).

The only warnings that may apply are for language. If anyone has any triggers please let me know.

It's so long that it's under the cut.

Caring Coils was having one of its community events this week. While the shop was always open to the public (within business hours), the weather had been nice lately and they’d managed to rent out some outdoor space in a local park. The Lamia were absolutely loving it, in their own ways: a hoard of miniature pygmies were chasing after an RC car “driven” by a bitty Papython and actually driven by a Honeybo, the trees were draped with various Lamia but especially Chains, one of the larger rocks in the area had become a community nap pile for Cornies, and no small number of Kraits (and Oozy) were enjoying the pond as a few Mambas terrorized/were terrorized by the local goose population, thankfully far from the rest.

Nikolai was a mixture of happy and absolutely harried, trying to keep track of everyone who’d come. Some Lamia had opted to stay inside, like Hux, and some were too young (Piper was allowed to come, barely), but the park was absolutely teeming with various Lamia. It made his soul swell to see them so happy, but also, he probably needed to deal with the goose situation on top of general PR.

Keith was hanging out near the edge of the park, draped in a tree and soaking up some sun rays. Trousle was hanging with him - pun intended - and looking at the humans as they passed into the park, chirping out hellos with his little speaker. Piper, meanwhile, had claimed a bird nest as “his” and was enthusiastically showing it off.

“Oh! Look! That human has one like you!” Trousle said, tugging lightly at Keith.

Keith looked over towards Val, giving a wave. “Yo, nice to meet ya. Name’s Keith.”

“Look! I’mma mom!” Piper chirped loudly as his little lungs(?) could manage. This is clearly a child in a bird nest.

“Hello human!!!”

Valerie adored her boys and did whatever she could to make them happy but this was, admittedly, more for her than it was for any of her boys. She had joined tons of different groups geared towards Lamia, including a site that allowed her to see when a center was having any special events, and she stalked those sites when she had a few minutes to herself. It was through her obsessive need to stay on top of all things Lamia related that she heard about a center that was having a community day.

And it was open to the public.

Marmalade watched, so in tune that he picked up on her excitement before any of the other boys, as she prepared for a trip. It wasn't too far but it was enough distance that she was careful to pack a cooler full of snacks and blankets to create a nest in the back of the van. Because it was a given that Currant would be tagging along and Sangria would be the guardian of the property while she was away. His Mamba brother took his duties incredibly serious and he had a prankster Corny to watch over and a recovering Pygmy to take care of. Val left instructions on what to do if she wasn't back within a few days, leaving behind a phone she'd picked up just for them.

None of them liked to be away from her with no means of making sure she was alright, Marmalade didn't blame them.

Despite being the largest in the house, Marmalade had made no secret of his desire to go with Valerie and Currant on their trip. He coiled on the back seat, soaking in the light and enjoying the breeze, while Currant claimed the front seat with a nest carefully crafted. Val filled the trip to this community day with belting along to whatever song played, nudging Currant until he joined in and beaming at Marmalade in the mirror until he went along with their shenanigans.

Stars, he adored his bondmate.

Their arrival was met with little fanfare. Currant wanted to stay in the van, unwilling to risk getting lost or injured by whatever was going on at the park, and the windows were left cracked for his comfort. Val gave his skull a pet and eagerly left the car behind, Marmalade tagging along at her side. It was clear that all the Lamia were enjoying their time outside and he snickered at the sight of a cluster of Mamba trying to assert their dominance over a flock of geese.

Sangria would have been absolutely delighted to show the smaller Mamba how to go about proving their superiority.

Marmalade found his gaze drawn to his fellow Chains, draped across tree branches like, particularly strange vines. Val must have felt his curiosity because her gaze was also drawn towards the trees and she gave a delighted squeak. Her soul pulsed back pure joy at him.

"'sup," he drawled, acknowledging Keith's greeting. "'m marmalade."

"Ohmystars," Val breathed, clutching her chest. "You are just the cutest little thing."

Which Lamia was she talking to? Well, all of them if Marmalade had to guess.

"y'all don' get out often, do ya?"

"Not really! It's big out here!" Trousle said. If he was being honest with himself, it was kind of overwhelming. Thankfully, Keith didn't seem to mind hanging around with him, and it was nice having a familiar face as he tried to get used to it. Mostly he worried about how his speaker would work. It was small enough to be portable... for a normal-sized person, but it'd be a pain trying to carry it around at his size. But there was plenty to do just here! People to talk to, things to climb and play around in, it was all so much and it was great!

"They say 'm too lil. But I'm not! Not a hatchling! Nuh-uh!" Piper said. He grinned down at this human and looked at "his" eggs. He couldn't actually keep these, so... He slithers down to Valerie's level, tail wound around a tree branch while he makes grabby hands her way. The little one looks like he's got some scales stuck to his skull and arms, but a closer look reveals that they seem to be growing there (though might be in a shedding phase right now too, based on the flakiness). He chirped for her, little tongue darting out to catch the taste of the air.

Keith just chuckled at the little one. "Nope. What can I say, I've got my dice inside." He yawned and readjusted himself on the branch, muscles rippling as he found another position. "But it's pretty nice out here honestly. At least right now. It gets dang hot sometimes." Which might explain why there didn't seem to be many Firerings. While they probably would've enjoyed the usual summer heat, it'd be uncomfortable or even possibly deadly to those around them. "Heh, where y’all from anyways? I don't know you." The other Chain's scent was unfamiliar to him, and they were kind of the place to get a well-cared-forlamia in the state. Marmalade might've been a little roughed up from hunting in the woods, but he didn't really have the look of a rescue, and the linger scents were new too.

"nah," Marmalade teased, sockets narrowing as he smirked. "yer jus' small."

And adorable. Marmalade was so accustomed to being around smaller Lamia that he felt an instant need to protect any smaller Lamia around him. Lapis was the smallest at home and Marmalade often kept him safe from predatory birds and other larger creatures that might make a snack of a Lamia. Keith keeping Trousle close was something Marmalade approved of, it was what made Chains so reliable as companions.

"You certainly don't look like a hatchling," Valerie complimented, putting her hands out so he could slither onto her. Honestly, the spattering of scales upon his bones was beautiful. Val found the scales of Lamia to be incredibly pretty. If they didn't turn to dust when they came off, she would be tempted to collect them. "But your scales are really pretty! Currant would love you, he'd think you were a little gem."

Marmalade found Keith to be a little strange, for a Chain, but he figured that they couldn't go out into the woods from their center. It was the part he loved about his territory, there were so many huge trees he could climb and bask on. Plus, the rock that Sangria often showed off on when Valerie was taking a break from work. In fact, all the Lamia around here were pretty immaculate. He didn't see any signs of scars or any hints of lacking care.

"val drove us here," Marmalade shrugged. "we're a coupla states away, middle a nowhere. my home center was in a big city."

Trousle let out a breathy attempt at a "Nyeh", huffing. "That's not my fault! I was born small! I'm a good size for a Papython bitty too!" Though sometimes he did feel a little out of place with most of the DnD group being full-sized, but being small just meant he had more things to look at and slither into! More to explore, and a lot of puzzles just getting around!

Piper enthusiastically wound his way on there, letting out little chittering purrs as he accepted the compliments. "Thank you! You've got pretty too!" He was idly playing with the fabric of her clothing, but his eyes were on her hair. A stray strand caught his eyes and he zoomed up, pouncing for it and squeaking as he overshot, grabbing onto the back of Val's clothes as he fell. "I'm 'kay!" He said, little claws helping him climb up to her neck. With a little purr, he settled in against the warmth. "Smells nice."

Keith was gently stroking Trousle while watching Marmalade, curious about this other Chain. "Really? Huh... you're from far out, ain't ya? I haven't gotten around much myself. What can I say, I'm a bit lazy." That was a lie, partially. Part of him wouldn't mind getting out and about more often, see more of the outside, more of the world. He was old enough that he was pretty sure Nikolai could get some stuff sorted for him if he asked, but leaving would mean not living with Hux anymore, almost certainly. Hux didn't exactly want a human, and he seemed perpetually peeved at Alex...

"How'd you two meet anyways? I mean, like... How do you know?" He'd assumed he'd known, but Alex never said anything, so maybe he was just getting desperate. Could it work that way? Nikolai had assured him it couldn't, but he was too nervous to bring it up. What if she was avoiding it for a reason? "Ya seem pretty happy."

"Keith hasn't found his human yet," Trousle said.

Keith looked to the side, unwilling to dump his anxieties on the little guy. He wasn't leaving. Period. No reason to worry him.

"jus' kiddin', kid," Marmalade laughed. It had been a few months since he'd last been around a Papython, his home center had a high turnover rate for them, and those that were old enough to go tended to get adopted faster than he could learn about them. There was nothing wrong with Trousle, if you asked Marmalade, and he would have liked to talk more with the little guy. But Marmalade was a stranger to these Lamia and he didn't want to cause any fights by climbing into a tree with the Lamia here. "yer decent size. bigger than lapis at home."

Heaven. This must have been heaven. Valerie was very used to having a Lamia slithering on her, Lapis did it all the time, so she wasn't phased in the slightest by the little Pygmy darting around. She laughed as he zoomed, looking over her shoulder and putting a hand under where he was dangling. Affection filled her at his little compliments, her fingers gentle when she rubbed his little skull. "Thank you, sweetie."

Marmalade glanced over to Valerie, blinking as she cuddled with the small Pygmy. He could feel the waves of affection that were rolling off her soul in gentle waves. It wouldn't have surprised him if every Chain around could feel how much she adored the little guy. Well, he should have known she wouldn't be able to resist.

"you'd get along well with Currant then," Marmalade said, studying Keith carefully. Huh, a Chain that just... didn't know how to tell who his human was? At least Marmalade was used to offering advice, usually to his housemates. "she came in for a coral bitty, originally. an i jus' knew she was mine. soon as i saw her. she knew i was hers right after i bonded with her. val's more in touch with her soul now."

He looked at Val, the happy smile on her face as she pet the small Pygmy. "she's the best thing that happened to me. A real gentle soul, patient too. she even adopted the mamba from my brother clutch."

Trousle grinned, typing away. "Yes! And thank you! You seem good-sized yourself! I guess I'm just not used to being places where things aren't all bitty-sized. Well, other than the DnD table! And the humans. Humans tend to be human-sizedfor lamia, though children of course are smaller." All was forgiven, just like that. "It's good to meet you! Have I introduced myself? I'm Trousle! That little one is Piper, and this is Keith."

"You're welcome!" Piper chirped. He grabbed at one of her fingers, holding it to him to nuzzle against it. A few of his loose scales flaked off which was met with little sighs of relief - those had been itchy! "Like you! You like games? One time I got to be a dragon! I was the boss! Rawr!" He tries to roar, but it's squeaky and he devolves into giggles.

"Oh geez, that was sure an interesting session," Keith said, laughing at the memories. It was an absolute mess and it was amazing. "We let him join a DnD game once, he was my little Co-Dm."

"Mm hmm! I was the Boss!"

"He was also the dragon they fought... And the trickster god that our cleric summoned. Who immediately attacked his own follower."

"Was a mouse!"

"That it was." Alex had been playing a Mousefolk cleric and used a mouse toy as a token, so really that was almost set up that way, and it was hysterical.

Keith turned back to Marmalade, "I run a DnD game afterhours for some of my friends. Alex is a new girl, or was I guess? She's been visiting a while, seems pretty nice. Brought us Peanut butter and chocolate no-bake cookies, and wasn't gonna say no to that!"

"They were delicious!" Trousle said. "Liam tried to say he brought them, but he'd just stolen them! Nyeh! He's so silly!"

"He got caught pretty fast. But yeah," Keith said. "She, uh... seems nice. Like, real nice. But I don't think she thinks I'm anything special. Other than a good DM of course, and hey, what else can a nerd ask for?" He was hesitant to outright say it.

Sure, most of his friends were technically special needs in one way or another, but those were just surface level, right? Having a faulty soul-bond meant something was deeply wrong with him, not to mention he hadn't even tried until then.

Keith was idly clawing at the bark, muscles tensing and untensing as he slowly swung there, filling moments where he wasn't talking by humming the same few bars of a song.

If he was going to tell someone, maybe it ought to be them? Marmalade didn't ask for that though, and that's a lot to put on someone. But who else could get it and not have it get back to Hux? Nikolai had enough to deal with...

Nah, he was being silly. Might as well just enjoy the sunshine, if he could. "I'd offer to show you around, but I don't know the place much better. Plus it looks like part of the park is under attack by geese."

In the distance, Nikolai was trying to get some of the younger Mambas to leave the fucking geese alone while Liam tried to scare the geese into leaving the mamba alone. Oozy was making puns about this "fowl situation" while watching and being generally unhelpful.

Well, Trousle certainly made it obvious why Papythons were so popular. His temperament was excellent and things just seemed to roll right off his scales. It was a shame that Marmalade had never really connected with any Papythons when he'd been at the center still because they seemed like he would have gotten along great with them. "nyeh heh, thanks kid."

"Oh stars," Val squeaked, delighted beyond measure. She also took immediate note of his relief when several scales flaked away, revealing pristine blue beneath, and she gave soft scratches to areas that looked like they were ready to come away. "Oh, sweetheart, I love games! I bet you were the biggest, best dragon around!"

She feigned a shocked gasp at his attempt at a roar, grinning down at the little guy. Her heart was gone, he'd stolen it. All of these Lamia were adorable. As much of her attention as Piper had stolen, Val still didn't ignore Keith and Trousle. They were good with Piper, harnessing the chaotic energy of a young Pygmy.

"Every Lamia is special," Val refuted, cuddling Piper closer to her neck. "Maybe you should talk to Alex?"

Marmalade nodded along, giving Keith a curious look. He didn't know what DnD was but he knew about the soul and the bonds that Chains forged with their humans. Keith seemed awfully curious and cautious when it came to those bonds.

"you think you got the wrong human?" was Marmalade's astute observation.

"Oh!" Val perked, wide eyes turning to Keith. "You wanna stay with your friends, don't you? But you want a human too, maybe?"

Inevitably, her gaze was drawn towards the honking of geese. Not a sight that was common at home but nothing she had never seen before, either. It was certainly lively over at that side of the park!

Trousle nodded, “No problem!” He paused and typed more, tongue flicking as he did. “What’s it like where you guys are from? Do they have Papython there too?”

Piper was purring, rubbing against her hand both out of affection and in eagerness to shed some of his scales. He had stars in his eyes as he looked up to her. “Yeah! I love games too! I’m a great dragon! Mweheheh!” I dun hurt you though is ‘kay.” He gave her a little pat of reassurance. “Can only hurt the tokens. But I win good!” Piper made happy purrs and chitters, enjoying the warmth and affection. This was so exciting!!! “I special! You too!”

Keith couldn’t stay buried in his thoughts with that happening. A grin split his face. “Heh, hope you were looking to adopt.”

A twinge of jealousy rose up in Trousle’s soul, bitter and venomous, but he took a deep breath and swallowed it with a smile. He’d find someone one day. It wasn’t fair to hold it against Piper. Besides, he wanted to live closer to his friends anyway. “You can talk to Nikolai when he’s done with the geese if you’re thinking of taking him home! He practically owns the place. He’s the King.”

“Don’t let the fangs fool you. He’s basically a mom,” Keith said. “Gotta love him… Heh. You might get along, or else I need to get better at hiding things. Am I that obvious?”

Trousle looked up at him. “Alex is yours then?” He hadn’t known but wasn’t surprised either.

“I don’t know,” Keith said honestly, shrugging. “Thought I felt something, still do, but she hasn’t said anything, so I ain’t gonna force it. Besides, I’d rather keep hanging with y’all.”

“I appreciate it, but don’t stay just for my sake! You’ve been here longer than me! If you think you’d be happy with her…” Then he’d say goodbye.

“Ain’t my call anyways lil dude, but thanks,” Keith said. He turned back to the others. “I might just live here long as they’ll have the gang and me. Made peace with it a good while ago.”

This time it was Valerie who answered Trousle, happy to soothe the Papython that there was someone out there who would love him and take him home. "Oh, I see Papythons everywhere when I go into town! Everyone loves a Papython. You guys are super helpful."

She was quickly distracted by Piper once again, enthralled by how adorable he was. The point of coming here hadn't been to adopt but she wasn't going to rule it out, not when faced with a Lamia this adorable. Valerie had always assumed Pygmy were too energetic for her but Piper was just perfect. The right amount of energetic and sweet, with a little bit of snuggle tossed in. "A precious dragon," she beamed, "Oh, Admiral and Sangria would love you!"

Valerie laughed at Keith, keeping Piper close to her. "I'm not opposed! I have plenty of space at home... and toys. And I already have the perfect little bandana that would look just adorable on him."

"course ya do," Marmalade huffed, amused. "ya got a lil' bit o' everythin' at home."

"That I do!" Val agreed, smiling at Keith and Trousle. "I even brought a couple things to give out, if you want something Trousle. I think you'd look really cool in this little red scarf I bought. None of the Papythons at the other center were the right size for it."

"don' let val think she'd get along with a king," was the mumbled warning from Marmalade, his gaze mischievous. "she debated on a king or a mamba once. still don' know if she won' bring home a king some day."

Her answering laugh was completely unapologetic.

"Gotta say, Keith, if you feel like she's yours then she probably is. There's a lot of reasons a human wouldn't react. Maybe she doesn't have the space for you and all your friends but she doesn't wanna separate you?"

"don' count yourself stuck, keith. even if ya don' live with her she's still yours. an you're hers."

Trousle beams, puffing out his little chest as much as he can and showing off his scales. He's a bit too busy posing to type right now, but his grin is practically splitting his face. He nods enthusiastically at the idea of a little scarf. Wouldn’t he just look great?! Even greater than now, he wasn’t sure it was even possible!

Keith smiles down at him. "Yer pretty cool, y'know? Can't believe you haven't been scooped up yet. But hey, this way I get to keep ya. Wouldn't be the same without such a cool guy at the gaming table."

Trousle's face was bright orange. He attempted to hide it behind his hands, flustered, but he kept moving his hands to peek out.

Piper purred, too enthralled by Val to pay much attention to Keith and Trousle. "Yeah! 'm the best dragon. They love! And I love! Where they?" He looked over at Marmalade, squinting as he tried to figure out which one he'd be. "Sangria?"

Keith chuckled, "That's Marmalade." With so much happening, he didn't blame Piper for missing a few details.

"No. Sangria."

"That's not how that works...“ Trousle said.

"Sangria," Piper insisted, crossing his arms. Guess Marmalade's been renamed now, sorry dude. "Gonna play toys with Sangria! Mweheheheh! Toys toys toys! Yes yes yes!" He tightened around her neck - not nearly enough to hurt - in enthusiastic cuddles.

"He really likes you!" Trousle said. Feeling a bit bolder, he started winding his way down towards her and Marmalade too. Keith helped by stretching his arm out towards her for him. Dude wants cuddles too it seems like.

Keith's soul ached at the thought of Trousle leaving too, but Val seemed nice, and it sounded like he wouldn't be low on company. It was a bit early to call though. "I hope ya'll're right. I mean, she keeps coming back, so hey, that's a good sign! Just don't wanna come on too strong, y'know?" He turned to look over at the goose situation. Some park administrators had managed to catch and contain most of them, but Liam had the tell-tale sign of a successful hunt around his fangs. Good for him. Nikolai had redirected the younger Mambas towards something less destructive: showing off for humans with posing and play-fights. "If ya wanna keep the kiddo, you can talk to Nikolai or Maia, the old lady. She owns the place, but Nikolai's been keeping it running the last year or two. She's getting too old fer it."

Oh. Oh no. Trousle was adorable too and Val felt awful knowing she would gladly take him home too, away from his friends and so far from what he'd known that he might never be able to visit when they had their sessions. But Keith brought up a good point... why hadn't Trousle been snatched up yet? He was a sweet Papython, perfectly sized for apartment living but also the right size that he could help out around if he wanted.

Her attention was taken by Piper once again, cooing at just how sweet he was. Her poor heart couldn't handle all that adorableness. If she combined him with Admiral... Val would probably collapse from the combined cute of two Pygmy, even if they were different sizes. Her face actually hurt from how much she was smiling.

"I only brought Marmalade and Currant with me, Piper," she gently told him, grinning at Marmalade with waggling brows. "Sangria is my big Mamba, he's protecting the territory and making sure Admiral doesn't get lonely. But Sangria is so awesome I'm sure Marmalade doesn't mind."

Marmalade narrowed his eyes at her but it lacked any real heat. Sangria was a Mamba that defied his species, a far more tolerant creature that was essentially the den mother of all Lamia Valerie had at home. It wouldn't surprise any of them if Sangria was cuddled up, beyond exhausted dealing with Admiral and Lapis, when they got home. Val was good for them, he was somewhat surprised she didn't have a whole hoard of Mamba roaming around.

"I really like him too," Valerie told Trousle, offering a hand so he could join Piper on her. Papython cuddles were the best. And she'd only ever cuddled a few full-size ones! As much as she would have loved to take him home too, Valerie didn't feel like Trousle was destined to stay with her. Someone out there would adopt them all together, she could feel it. But she would never deny a Lamia some cuddles. "I should go get Currant, though. Don't want my grumpy boy to laze away in the car. It's about time to exercise, anyway."

"she probably feels somethin'," Marmalade shrugged. "i bonded with val as soon as i saw her. didn' wait a second."

"It's true," she laughed. "I walked in for a grumpy Coral and wham! Soulbonded to a Chain within minutes. I can kinda feel all my boys, now."

Valerie trailed off, not knowing how to ask Keith if he wanted to go to the car with her so she could get Currant and the things she could give to other Lamia. Marmalade saved her from having to ask, aware of her on a level deeper than anything she'd thought to have.

"wanna come with us to the car, keith? val wants to grab some stuff and trousle an piper are safest if she holds 'em. you can meet currant."

Piper nodded, "Mamba can be mean, but can be nice! Some go hiss, but others like hugs. Like Cobalt!" Cobalt was hatched around the same time. The little mamba could be protective sometimes, especially when some of the meaner mamba or corals teased him about his weird bone-scales. (The fact that Piper was quick to give affection and fawn over him miiiight've helped). "Can I meat Cur-Currant... Curry! Curry!"

Trousle slithered up Val's arm and draped himself across her in one big cuddle, clicking softly in a muted purr.

Keith smiled down at Val, she had such a way with the kiddos. If she ever needed a job, she could probably work here, provided she didn't try to adopt the entire store. And knowing that Alex might know something, well... Maybe he should have a chat with her. Lost in thought, he stretched himself out wordlessly in answer, winding down and placing himself next to Marmalade, ready to go meet Currant. Hopefully he'd be nice to Trousle, or they'd have a problem.

"Sangria is nice," Val assured Piper, knowing it was true. He could bluster and yell insults as much as he wanted but he was the first to investigate any noise, the first to take the others outside without her asking, and she had woke up on a few occasions to already thawing food for her boys. Piper would be adored at her house, she had no doubt. "We're going to meet Currant."

Marmalade was shamelessly snickering over Piper's nickname for the Coral, slithering along as she walked towards the van. It was a dirty thing, big enough to transport her collection of Lamia and the large amount of groceries she got monthly. Some curious Lamia had slithered close, likely to scent the new smells she'd brought around, and Currant could be seen in the front seat. His face was barely visible over the door, just eyes and the dome of his skull. Well, what wasn't covered by the blanket he'd been snuggled in. His deep red eye lights enlarged when he spotted Val.

Before they even got to the van, Currant was bolting out and winding around her legs. Val laughed, petting Trousle and Piper while Currant made himself at home around her ankles and knees. He shamelessly slithered up her legs and wrapped around her torso, clinging in the way he was used to. The fact she had other Lamia didn't bother him in the slightest. His purrs were deep and happy, gloved phalanges kneading in her shirt and sneakily petting Trousle and Piper.

"And this is Currant," she told Keith, completely wrapped in Lamia but loving it. Her current situation was nothing out of the ordinary, after all. "He's still a little anxious but he's such a sweet little gem!"

"spoiled, ya mean."

"jealous?" Currant grinned, both golden fangs on full display. "sup. 'm currant."

Safely riding on a human, Trousle looked around, trying to take in all he could of the big, wide world. And it was definitely big! It was hard to imagine that even this much existed! It was all so exciting! His tongue was flicking in and out, trying to catch every taste he could. Instinctively, he hissed when Currant moved so fast, rearing back, but let out little huffs as he laughed it off. His "voice" came from Keith's pocket as he said, "You startled me!"

Keith similarly had tensed up, not expecting the other to dart out like that, but relaxed just as quickly seeing Val react so well. "Aaaaw. Heh, he really likes ya. Man, he's a world different than Hux. Good to meet ya dude, I'm Keith."

"I'm Trousle! Er, I'm the Papython." Trousle said, leaning his head up to let Currant scratch some of his favorite spots.

"Oooooh! Curry! Curry's a Coral!" Piper gasped. He was partly hiding behind Val's neck, hoping that this Coral at least wouldn't make fun of him. Not that every single Coral did, but it was mostly corals. Still, he was getting pets, so maybe this one was a nicer one? His eyes closed as he let out happy little chirps, occasionally play-nipping at Currant's fingers.

Keith was just internally cooing. "Ya'll too dang cute. How dare. Geez..."

One of the local Cornies was trying to slither into Val's car, seeing a nice blanket and a warm, sunny nap spot, and a random Honeybo was trying to see if he could sneak stickers onto Currant's clothes.

Confined as she was beneath coils, Val couldn't do anything about the other Lamia clustering around. She made a careful mental note about the Corny but didn't attempt to prevent him from sleeping in the blanket pile, Lapis did just that. Before she left she would do a sweep of the van, to make sure she didn't have any tagalongs. Currant was well adjusted, careful work done to make sure he knew how to articulate and that he could always hide if it became too much for him. He was a far cry from the grumpy boy she'd brought home.

"sorry," Currant muttered, butting his nose against Trousle's back. "oh man, val! lapis woulda loved this."

"He would!" she chirped. "All the bitty Papython from his brother clutch got adopted out so I couldn't get one. He would love to have a Papy that would pester him awake, I just know it."

"maybe we can bring 'im next time," Marmalade shrugged. "make a day o' it. let everyone meet everyone."

"it'd be chaos," Currant deadpanned. "imagine sangria bein' around all these mamba? his tail is a lot nicer."

Well, Valerie didn't want to say that but she hadn't seen another Mamba with the same level of iridescence that Sangria had. Currant was drawn to Piper, the little Pygmy hidden from sight until a nip finally registered. Val mentally counted down, smirking with the knowledge that Piper looked like a true prize. Bright blue, even where his scales needed to shed, and so unique that Currant's eye lights swelled huge. He loved pretty, unique things.

"yer scales are pretty," he wheezed, shimmying closer to Piper. His instincts told him Piper was still young and he needed to shed those itchy, dull scales. So Currant just... gave a little lick. Val likened it to a mother cat bathing her young and it was adorable.

"Aren't they just the prettiest!" Val agreed. "All the others must be so jealous of such a handsome boy like Piper!"

Keith was helping that one Honeybo sneak stickers onto Currant. He was gonna be covered in glittery smiley faces and hearts by the time the conversation was over at this rate. Naturally, Keith regrets nothing about this... Okay, maybe he has one regret, but that's that they're stickering Currant like this and not Hux. It'd be hysterical seeing him turn red as he realized what had happened.

Trousle gives him a few little scratches in appreciation. "I might consider it! I'm just not sure about living so far away. Though I'd love to have a person! And it seems like you have quite the troupe!" If it weren't for the distance, he'd be on this faster than Liam was on a bowl of sour candies. "I'd love to meet him!" It was always nice meeting new friends! Or seeing old friends again, in some cases!

Keith chuckled, "I feel that. I wish I could vouch for Liam, but he can get a bit showy around other Mamba. I mean, and in general, but it's worse around his own. Though given that he was the only one to actually beat a goose, he might have a point." Sometimes Mamba and Kings were rented out for pest control... and occasionally Chains, when the pests in question were snakes.

Piper turned yet another gorgeous shade of blue in the face, partly covering his cheekbones as he squealed and chirped, not really sure what to do with all the sheer happy stuffed into his little body. Kid purred like a kitten as some of the scales peeled off, revealing the vibrant, fresh hues underneath. Shedding was always the worst, but also such a relief to get out of his too-small skin.

Keith mentally relaxed. Currant seemed like a pretty cool dude so far. "Dang you're too freaking sweet. Geez. Ya sure you didn't adopt a Papython?"

Currant was aware that he was being covered in stickers, this wasn't the first time he'd been on the recieving end of some shenanigans, but he had long since grown used to things like this. Val had taken great care in making sure he was capable of handling whatever could be thrown at him. She wouldn't let anyone tell her that he was too dangerous to go anywhere, his behavior would guarantee he made anyone that called him a menace eat their words. Grooming the young Pygmy was much more his speed, he tended to do the same with Lapis if he caught him in shed.

"Oh, Trousle, I know there's a human out there for all of you," Valerie assured him. She felt a little sad that she couldn't take every Lamia home... but maybe she could volunteer here, sometimes. "I'll bring Lapis next time. Even if I don't take you home you could always message him and be friends that way."

"ooooooh," Marmalade drawled, feeling the need to talk up his brother. "jus' a goose?"

"Marmalade, hush! They don't have a forest around here, not like Liam could hunt foxes like you and Sangria do. But I bet he'd catch one!" She didn't actually know if that was the case because she didn't know which Mamba was Liam but if he was anything like Sangria he would have a high prey drive. She had many hunted stuffed animals that were displayed around her home. "Piper... are you alright with Currant holding you? I'm going to grab some things."

Marmalade huffed, amused at Keith's comments towards Currant. "nah, he's a gremlin. val jus' hates how people talk shit 'bout currant when we go out so she helped him get better adjusted."

Said gremlin was carefully holding Piper, grooming the Pygmy with loud rumbles in his ribcage. Piper had Coral approval. Val opened the back of the van, grabbing a couple of bags that had some gifts she'd brought along. The whole reason she'd come to the park was to give some things to Lamia that didn't have homes. Marmalade took some of the bags while Val plucked a little red scarf out just for Trousle. It was made of a soft material and the shade of red was bright but not eye burning.

"You can have this, Trousle," Val announced, looping it loosely around him. "And you can help me hand out the other stuff! Maybe I have something for each of your friends."

Piper nodded, "Mm hmm! Like Curry! Is real nice." He was purring back, mostly letting Currant do his thing and thoroughly enjoying the attention, only squirming to give him better access to some of the scales that needed to come off. "Best Coral!"

Keith also felt the need to defend his own brother's honor, standing up and huffing, "I mean, if he hunted a dog, I think he would've gotten in trouble. People love those things! Also, have ya ever fought a goose? Those things will..." Shit there are children present. "They've got more teeth than we do. Some of which are on their freaking tongues. I have questions for whoever thought up geese, 'cause they're nightmare birds. Dude's pretty dang cool if ya ask me."

"Thank you, I'd love to meet him and see you again! But I'm not sure that anyone would want, well... Us. We're kind of weird, honestly. I mean, I'm mute for starters, and, well... But maybe there's a human that lives here, at least who could take me! Then I could visit a lot, probably! Or I guess I could live with Nikolai, but I think he wants to focus more on Maia right now." Trousle said. His head darted up as he caught a familiar scent. "Oh! Alex is here! Hi!"

Keith's soul skipped a beat as he looked over and saw her. "Howdy. Heh, good to see ya."

"Look! I just got a scarf!" Trousle wound the scarf around himself, arcing himself up to show himself off. The scarf fluttered in the breeze; he had stars in his eyes.

"Oh my gosh! That's so cute!" Alex squealed.

"Right? Heh, this is Val. She's from out of town."

"Oh! Good to meet you! I'm Alex. I'm from in town! Or at least from the suburbs."

Keith got a little closer to Alex, not enough to crowd her, but enough to feel close. "Wasn't sure if ya'd make it honestly."

"I've got Fridays off dude. 'Course I came!"

"heh, i like ya too kid," Currant mumbled, taking Piper's directions to heart and moving to a new patch of dull scales. Piper wasn't the first Pygmy that Currant had been around but he was the youngest and he needed to be protected and cared for. He was so invested in his task that he ignored Keith and Marmalade's posturing.

"we've hunted geese before," Marmalade snorted, puffing his chest out. "val don' care what we eat out in the woods. they're bears an stuff out there too."

Not that Sangria or Marmalade had hunted full grown bears but if they had snatched a cub or two from a mother before they ran her off. Well...

"Anyone who judges you for what makes you unique can get punched in the kidney," Val grumbled, momentarily sour over just the thought of anyone thinking ill of Trousle and his friends. "You'll get adopted, I know it. Sweet guy like you? Pfft, you'll find the best human out there."

Valerie was kind of nervous around another person but Alex didn't seem like a very mean person and she had similar taste in what looked adorable on Trousle. Anyone that could enjoy these Lamia as much as Val did wasn't capable of being a bad person. So she gave a little wave, petting Currant's head to soothe her own nerves.

"I'm Valerie," she greeted, tugging on her stretched lobes. "You can call me Val, though. Everyone else does. I was just about to hand out some presents to the Lamia here."

"we're from a few states away," Marmalade supplied. "'m marmalade, the coral is currant.... an it looks like we'll be adopting piper today."

"As soon as I hand out the gifts I'll look for Nikolai."

Piper absolutely beamed up at him, making the task of grooming him slightly harder as he insisted on trying to hug and give little nuzzles and licks to Currant's face. He was trilling in joy, already enamored with this big Coral who had decided he was a cute lil guy. Maybe he was going to get adopted! This was so exciting!

"Have ya ever wrestled a burglar? 'Cause I know Liam has. He ain't supposed to kill, so had to hold back on the venom and everything. Dude had a gun." Or, well, a taser, but Liam didn't find that out until after the police had already taken the guy into custody.

Trousle blushes, signing a quick thank you at her and sinking into the warmth.

"Really? That sounds terrifying," Alex said.

"Eh, you know how Liam is. He's a cool dude," Keith said. "Got him before the rest of us even realized we were in danger, he's just that cool."

"Heck yeah," Alex said. She looked at Piper being groomed by Currant and grinned, "Aaaw, they're really getting along, huh? Guess I won't be casting Divine Intervention anymore."

Keith laughed at the memory, "I don't think it ever actually helped."

"It was cute though!" Alex said. "But I'm glad he's getting someone. Little guy seems pretty happy! Trousle too. You thinking of adopting him?" There was a bit of an edge in her voice. She didn't want to admit that maaaaybe she'd been considering the little guy...

Keith swooped in, "Nah. He'd rather stay local."

Relief washed through Alex alongside guilt at being relieved, "Gotcha. Can't say I blame ya. It's nice being near friends, isn't it?"

Trousle nodded. "Maybe we can all get adopted together?"

"I'm sure someone would try!" Alex said. She was keeping a bit of a distance from Currant, which Keith noticed...

"This is Currant. Dude's a sweetheart to lamia and humans alike." He knew that she wasn't oblivious to Hux's opinions, even if she wanted to hang around the rest of them enough to deal with it.

Alex nodded, "Nice. Good to meet ya then!"

Currant finally seemed to twig to the fact that there was another person around, turning his large eye lights onto Alex for several moments while Piper nuzzled him. His teeth parted and he could smell her nerves, not an unusual occurence whenever someone happened to be around him. It wasn't even Currant's fault. Coral Lamia were known for their tempers and nobody would look at him and think he was different than his species. He made no move to attack, content to keep hold of Piper like Val wanted him to, but he wasn't instantly friendly either.

He just... stared. Gauging her.

"dude," Marmalade droned, looking incredibly done with the posturing already. "there's a reason Sangria is in charge of watching the house."

Which wasn't a lie. Val didn't often get trespassers on her proprty. Not ones that she was aware of, anyway. But there would always be people up to no good deep in the woods, where they thought nobody would find out what they wanted to do. Sangria and Marmalade had chased off their fair share of would-be burglars and wannabe hermits.

"Yeah, I'm gonna grab this little guy and take him home," Val booped Piper as she said it, enamored with his scales and his squeaks. "I would love to take Trousle, he's a sweetheart don't get me wrong, but I just feel that he's not for me. Ya know? I did wanna bring my Corny, Lapis, to meet him sometime! Maybe Admiral and Sangria too."

"'lo," Currant finally muttered.

"He really is a sweetheart, Alex," Valerie insisted, yanking her phone from her pocket and quickly scanning for pictures. She had plenty of snapshots of Currant and her other boys in various stages of absolute cuteness. Currant sleeping on Sangria's glittering scales, the Coral's blushing face when he got to eat his favorite snack, and the one memorable image she had of him dancing with her. "See? Corals are so sweet. Cute grumpy faces and all!"

"not cute," Currant grumbled.

"Cutest," Val sang, smooching his skull.

Keith realized he was going overboard a little and chuckled, “Guess ya got a point. Sorry, just think he’s pretty cool, y’know? Maybe ya’d like to meet him.” His soul twisted in sympathy for Currant. Poor dude… “Corals can be really sweet in general honestly, if ya can get through a layer or two of posturing. Currant seems better about that though.”

Alex grinned at the photos, bouncing a little in place at the cuteness. “Aaaaaw! That’s precious, oh my gosh. My heeeeeart!” She looked over at him, “Mind if I pet you? Sorry. Just not always good with people sometimes…”

Keith gave her a lazy hug from behind her, “Eh, ain’t for everyone.” He’d been around her enough to know that she at least couldn’t get along with Hux. She didn’t mean to, but she tended to rub Hux the wrong way. Though Hux sometimes seemed to be looking for reasons to snap at her. Still, what was he supposed to do? Kick out his soul-bond, or kick out his best friend?

“Yeah, but I just feel bad…”

“Don’t. Hux just ain’t great with humans. Currant is.”

Before Marmalade could comment on how it would be cool to meet another Mamba, Val piped up with an affirmative. "We'd love to meet Liam! He sounds super cool."

Currant puffed up at what he took as praise, knowing he was arguably the best Coral around. He still had his days where he tended to want his space but they were few and far between now. The people that wouldn't give him a chance just because he was a Coral were missing out. Alex had calmed down once she'd seen his general cuteness so he offered his head for a pet, making sure to keep Piper safely tucked against his chest.

"Don't feel bad about not getting along with everyone," Valerie tried to soothe. She didn't know Alex very well but she didn't want any awkwardness between their mismatch group. "I worked a lot with Currant. Maybe you won't ever be best friends with Hux but you can learn when he needs his space! It might not seem like a big step but it's something to keep in mind."

Marmalade nodded along, having plenty of experience with all kinds of Corals. Some were sweet and just couldn't communicate what they wanted but there were others that earned their bad reputation. Unfortunately, that bad reputation was more common than the good because they were such a naturally emotionally constipated Lamia.

"here we go..." Marmalade muttered.

"I have some stuff Hux might like," Val confessed. "If he's the type to enjoy a treasure hoard or blankets and stuff. I have a lot of Lamia stuff that none of my boys wanted so it should get put to good use!"

Keith grinned, “Oh yeah, he’s cool.” Being a lazy bastard who didn’t want to stop this conversation, he just texted Nikolai to send Liam this way.

Alex stroked Currant’s head, smiling. “You’re really good with these guys, aren’t you? I don’t think I have quite the same knack for it, but I like visiting and stuff! Nikolai lets me in the nursery sometimes and it’s absolutely precious! Baby Lamia are adorable!” She was bouncing on her feet again as she scratched underneath Currant’s chin. Piper was also getting in on the affection, giving Currant little pats and purring.

“He does have a little hoard, I bet he’d enjoy it! He can be kinda prickly though. Don’t take it personally,” Keith said. “He’s just like that.”

A Mamba of about average size came over and cleared his throat to announce his presence, splaying out to show off his scales as he set his head on his hands all sassy-like. “I heard I was called~?” He was keeping his good side towards Val and Currant, not that the hole in his skull was particularly noticeable, he was wearing his fitted mold today. It was a bit hard to make out the tacky substance holding it in place through the layer of bone-colored makeup, but he couldn’t hide that one of his eyes were dark.

Keith slithered over to cover Liam’s bad side out of protective instinct and habit. He was fairly certain there was no sneaking up on the dude anyways - he’d gotten crazy good at feeling vibrations in the ground - but it made them both feel a little better. “This is Liam.”

“Good to meet you~”

"I did a lot of research before I decided to adopt," Val admitted, plucking nervously at her sleeves. Currant was basking in the attention he was getting, more tolerant than blatantly loving having someone else patting him. Alex was gentle with her pets so he didn't attempt to pull away. The words coming out of Alex's mouth finally registered and she wished she could have stars in her eyes when she heard about baby Lamia. Her voice was an excited whisper. "Baby Lamia?!"

Marmalade and Currant both rolled their eyes at her glee, knowing that she should never be allowed to see the babies or they would never get her to leave. Valerie already adored bitty sized Lamia but if you added in babies... she would be a goner.

"we got some geodes," Marmalade told Keith. "coupla things that any coral would love to have in their hoard. currant don' collect 'em as much since his hoard got too big to fit 'em all in his nest."

A new arrival pulled Valerie's attention away from talk of babies and she brightened immediately. It might have been biased but she felt like Sangria's scales were a little glossier than Liam's, not that she would tell him that. She didn't react at all to the site of one darkened socket, used to Admiral's darkened socket looking in her direction. Marmalade was careful about how he slithered, not knowing how Liam might react to movement he couldn't see.

"You're a very handsome Mamba, Liam," Val complimented, the words nearly second nature after dealing with Mamba for so long. "The way you hunted was really impressive!"

Alex kept scratching, watching her hands instead of looking to Val as she said, “They’re SO CUTE! I’d offer to show you, but Nikolai might try to kill both of us… Keith took me there to meet him and I thought he’d bite my head off, but he apologized afterwards! He’s really protective of them though, like, murderously protective.”

Keith grinned, “Daaaang. He’s gonna love that! And if he’s pissy about it, I’ll gladly take them instead…” Subtle dude. Subtle.

Liam took good care of himself, but he couldn’t stand up to Sangria in size or shine. That said, he would absolutely try to fight Sangria anyways if given the chance.

Liam stood up, hands on his hips and chest puffed out, moving his tail to make his scales glimmer. “Glad to see someone can recognize a hunter around here.” There was still a bit of blood on his teeth where he’d bitten the goose and hadn’t completely managed (or wanted) to lick it away. “Do I smell another mamba on you? You’ve got good taste, but I bet I could take him.”

Keith sighed, “Liam, don’t…”

“I’m just saying!” Liam huffed.

“It’d a sight to see,” Alex said neutrally.

“How big is he anyways? Four foot?” Oh Liam noooooooo… He’s huge sweetheart.

“I maybe should’ve warned ya that he can be competitive with other mambas,” Keith said.

“It’s not my fault they’re all so spoiled.”

“You literally have plush pillows and a heated blanket in your enclosure,” Alex said.

“And I hunted them myself!” Liam said, arms crossed and grinning. “I can take care of myself just fine, unlike those little pipsqueaks. Losing to a goose, hah!”

Keith was realizing he should’ve let Liam cool down more first. He’d just proved superiority over his breed and wasn’t gonna shut up for a while, was he?

"Oh, I don't want to make Nikolai angry! I'd ask first, of course." She might not have had any experience with Kings but she knew that anyone who was charged with protecting babies would have their instincts dialed up to max. Add on the fact that some Mamba would gladly eat the babies... she didn't blame Nikolai for getting angry that Alex had been brought around the younger Lamia without him approving it beforehand. Piper was close enough to a baby for her, for now, and that was all she needed if she wanted to be able to leave. "I'd never leave if I saw them now."

"if he don' take 'em he's got awful taste in treasure," Currant grumbled, giving Keith a grumpy look. Yeah, he was onto you buddy.

Now Liam had touched on a weakness of Valerie's. She loved to talk about her boys and Sangria was among the prettiest Lamia she had ever seen. Sure, he had knicks and scars from his tousles in the woods but she still adored how he shined in the light. When Liam mentioned smelling another Mamba on her, well, she lit up. Marmalade chuckled, knowing she was almost as bad as he was for bragging about Sangria. Nevermind the fact that Liam was declaring he could fight a Mamba larger than himself. It would be funny to see them posture at each other.

"Oh, don't worry! Sangria, that's my Mamba, is pretty good around other Lamia so I wouldn't worry." She giggled at the guess at Sangria's size, finding the isea of a Mamba that small to be hilarious. Liam was shorter than Val was tall! "Oh no, Sangria is seven feet long. Or there about!"

"maybe a few inches longer," Marmalade tacked on.

"Maybe," was Valerie's agreement. "Sangria protects the house and the property. I live on a couple of acres of forested land and it would really suck if I had wild animals stalking me when I went outside!"

She may or may not have been teasing Liam, just a little, to see how riled she could get him. Just enough he might show off some more!

“Oh definitely,” Alex said. “He probably wouldn’t say yes until he knows you better though.”

“Not gonna lie, that first meeting was me being dumb. Shoulda told him I was bringing her, but still took a few months,” Keith said.

“Oh yeeeeeeah! Nick went HISSSSS!” Piper said. “I was there! Mm hmm!”

“Were you one of the ones curled on him?” Alex asked.

“Mm hmm! Was hiding. Am a sneaky!” Piper said, hands on his hips.

“Ya sure are kiddo,” Liam said, giving the world’s gentlest fistbump to the kid. He moved around a little, getting a look at the car and taking in some of the scents, curious about this new place, aaaaand… “Are these what you were talking about? I might keep them for myself honestly.” Liam had 100% actually stolen the geodes while you were watching him, somehow. He’s the real sneak.

“Liam no,” Keith said, trying to stifle a laugh. “I called them first.”

“Finders keepers~” He held the rocks to his chest, sticking his tongue out at poor Keith. “I bet that Sangria can’t manage that. Maybe he’s bigger, but I could slither circles around him! He wouldn’t even know what hit him! Size isn’t everything, after all.”

Keith couldn’t help himself, “Then why is Nikolai the only one who can tell ya what to do and you listen.”

Even from here, it was plain to see that Nikolai was on the larger end of the spectrum for Kings, a good foot or two larger than even Sangria.

“His bite is worse than his bark, when he chooses. I’m not suicidal,” Liam said. “He’s worse than anything that could possibly be in your woods! Just let me come over one day and I’ll make the whole forest bow to me!”

“Huh, I thought he was playing a Sorcerer, not a Druid,” Alex said.

“… no fireballs irl,” Keith said, secretly a little terrified by sudden mental picture of Liam with fire magic… or a flamethrower.

“Not yet at least!” Liam said, almost certainly unable to actually follow through with that threat. “I just need to trace myself back to a dragon…”

"That's fine, I'm probably gonna come back a few more times!" Considering she was looking to take Piper home, she wouldn't deprive him of coming back to visit the place he'd called home for the start of his life. She may have hated interacting with people in large number but being surrounded by Lamia was leagues better than that. It helped that these guys were all hilarious. Valerie had only passing knowledge of DnD so she kept that to herself, lest they assume she was going to be able to come and join their games. Sure, that would have been fun but...she lived too far away and worked too much for it to be consistent.

Currant was slightly wary when Liam got close to Piper, edging back just a hair, but the little Pygmy didn't seem anxious so he kept his hissing to himself. He did end up scooting backwards a little so his tail could coil around Valerie's legs once again. Unlike his first meeting with Sangria, Currant wasn't mesmerized by the sight of Liam's scales.

"Are you sure you want the geodes?" Val asked, biting her cheek to keep from grinning. She wasn't surprised that Liam had managed to grab the geodes, those had been with Marmalade and her Chain was always weak for the wiles of a Mamba. It was a good thing she had kept the Mamba specific treats. "I mean...I was going to give you a bag of candy."

"warheads," Marmalade tittered, knowing her usual bribe when she wanted to convince Sangria to do something. "she woulda got toxic waste but sangria thinks the package is ugly."

"Sorry, Liam, I think Piper is the only dragon here." Val outright laughed, petting Piper along the length of his spine. "Actually confirmed dragon. The best dragon."

All this talk of Kings was making her want one, deep in her mind, but she knew that Sangria wasn't ready for another large and possibly aggressive Lamia.

"But you guys could come over to see the forest, if you want. So long as you had permission to leave."

"Bring your Corny next time! He was... Azul?" Trousle said, drawing a blank on the name. He remembered it had to do with blue at least? "I'd love to meet him!"

"And I'll gladly settle it on who'd win," Liam said. "It'll be me, of course, but he can certainly try!" He was internally considering the trade... The geodes were gorgeous, of course, but sour candies. His mouth was already salivating, and catching the scent on his tongue didn't help in the slightest. "I think that'd be a fair trade..." Liam said, keeping his eye trained on the delicious candies while he handed back the geodes. The second they were in his hands, he bolted away a few feet, intent on keeping his prize. Immediately he ripped the bag open, sticking a candy in his black-coated mouth and crunching down on it. He took more time with the next candy, letting it dissolve to savor it, but he kept the pack on his good side, just in case any of the smaller upstarts got any funny ideas...

Piper chirped happily, "Yeah! Yeah yeah! I'm the best dragon! RAAAWR!!!" He pretended to breathe fire, wiggling lightly in place.

"Wouldn't mind getting out a little more. Real trees are way better than fake ones," Keith said.

"I'll decimate it," Liam purred. "I'll ask about it. It'd be nice to get to stretch my tail. Rabbits and geese are nice and all, but I've always wanted to go after a wolf. Or maybe a buck!" They wouldn't just let him loose on the countryside to roam free, or he'd try catching one in the state (plus there were laws and legal issues about it), but if he was temporarily under the jurisdiction of another....

"Lapis?" Valerie reminded. It was a point in his favor that Trousle even remmebered that her boys were usually named after colors. Obscure colors were something she took great delight in making into names. "I'll bring him! I would have brought him along this time but he'd have eaten the snacks I brought for the Cornies here."

Although it was looking like Trousle and all his friends were going to be getting everything she'd brought! It was nice to have her presents appreciated. Particularly when Liam made the trade for the candies and she was once more in possession of the geodes. She could see a few Mamba with their tongues flicking, likely already aware of the treats, but Liam seemed intent on keeping them all to himself. Sangria was similar at first, hoarding his sour prize away from anyone else, but now that he was the only one in the house that ate sour candy he was less aggressive about it.

Currant cooed at Piper, nuzzling him. Marmalade made a dramatic attempt at ducking the pretend fire, a hand over his soul and widened eyes. "whoa, kid. watch the fire."

"an then there's the baskin' rock," Currant whispered, giving the coveted rock its due by his hushed tone. "'s right outside val's work window, gets light all the time."

"sangria loves that rock."

"I certainly have a lot of trees," she told Keith. "Caves too, decorated for whenever the boys need some space and wanna sleep outside. And no neighbors so...you could absolutely hunt whatever you wanted, Liam."

Valerie didn't know the particular laws about hunting local wildlife but she'd made sure that her local rangers knew she had Lamia that hunted in her woods. Of course, she also kept plenty of contacts so she could purchase live food if they didn't go hunting.

"Yes, him! I'll get it sometime!" Trousle said. "Understandable too! Leave some for Oozy! I think he's in the lake right now."

That Corny who had previously been napping stirred upon hearing that there were snacks for cornies. "Mine?"

Liam was absolutely keeping these all to himself, just as he always did. One of the younger lamia - not quite at their adult height yet - loudly called him out on it... So he sat on him, cackling and putting another candy in his mouth while the smaller one screeched... But there were multiple mamba in one place. There was no stopping the swarm. They'd smelled candies and saw them in the hands of That Jerk, so it was a matter of seconds before they put aside their differences and all decided to tackle and constrict Liam at once. A dozen or so bony hands all scrabbled for the remaining candies as Liam screeched about dishonor, cheating, and betrayal.

Keith was laughing his ass off and being of absolutely no help whatsoever. Alex was trying to hide it, but she was absolutely laughing too.

Piper saw the action happening and tried to wiggle over, not wanting to be left out of this game.

"I'll tell him all about you," Valerie promised. She gave a delighted little sound, bringing out the little melonpan she normally reserved for Lapis (and herself, she loved the ones with custard inside). They were a little big for bitty sized Corny Lamia but Lapis had never seemed to care about that and she doubted her little stowaway would. "Here you go, a token of confection that's Corny approved."

Marmalade, Currant, and Valerie all turned to the Mamba shenanigans and none of them attempted to hide their amusement. Looks like the pack had decided to overthrow their ruler when it came to the unfair division of the coveted sour candies. She had expected something like this but Sangria had only been convinced to part with one bag of his favorite, all the other sour things she had were less sour. It didn't make them less sought after among Mamba, or so she'd found, so she set the bag down for perusal.

"careful, kid," Currant said but he didn't hold Piper back for long. A Pygmy that wasn't allowed to zoom could become quite the sassy thing. Despite letting Piper go, Currant stayed close by in case he needed to snatch him away from a bad situation.

"guess we should summon the hoards to get their gifts," Marmalade said. "before we get swarmed like liam."

The stowaway very much didn't care! He was a snake, and he'd stuff himself as much as he could! Sometimes. When wanting sweets overcame being lazy at least. Caught up in the treat, he took a minute to notice the pun, but he broke into a grin and started laughing into the treat as he did, falling into a happy, laughing lump. He couldn't even top that! "Like you!"

Liam whined as his rightful treats were stolen from him. He managed to shake some of the mamba off, but it was hard when they were ganging up to beat him! "Not fair!" He could take two, maybe three, but there were at least six!

Piper zoomed over to help tame Liam, making little roars and holding onto his arm, play nipping his clothes. He was being no help whatsoever, but was sure having fun doing it!

Alex nodded, "Oh yeah. I don't wanna get caught in the snake swarm. Or at least not in this way."

Honestly, Valerie felt a flood of warmth in her chest at just how happy the Corny was. He made her miss Lapis, knowing her little prankster would have been punning away at her. Lapis was the whole reason she'd gotten so deep into pun hell in the first place. She couldn't resist petting his little head, expression going soft and fond. "Thanks, bud. I like you too."

Currant huffed, sparing a warning glance towards Val so she didn't get any funny ideas. Lapis was already a massive handful when he got into the mood to dish out chaos, they didn't need him to have a partner in crime. Speaking of pranks... Lapis would likely have a lot of chaos to rain upon the inhabitants of this adoption center.

Marmalade took the initiative to wrap the geodes into his coils so they wouldn't be snatched up. The bags had other shiny things that some of the Lamia might enjoy hoarding but the geodes were going to be offered to Hux first. And if Hux didn't want any then Keith would get to take what he wanted, provided Liam didn't get them first. Once they were safely tucked away in his grip, he nodded at Valerie.

"Hey!" she called, hands cupped around her mouth so she could gain the attention of every Lamia around. "I got some presents! Candy, blankets, and anything you might want."

Then...then she braced for the swarm. And oh, what a swarm it was.

HOPE YOU WERE PREPARED FOR THE SWARM.

Alex stands a bit away, having fun watching but a little overwhelmed at even the idea of being in the middle of all that... No thanks. Keith cuddles her by the sidelines, content to watch as well. Piper is chirping back at all the lamia, going absolutely nuts trying to catch absolutely everyone. Pygmy or not, he'll definitely need a nap when all this is over. Liam nurses his wounded pride off to the side.

The sheer numbers of the swarm draws over Nikolai, though he hangs back and lets the rest take their picks. He's very well cared for, after all. He just waits until the herd thins to introduce himself. "Good to meet you. I'm Nikolai, vice manager of the company." His eyes dart over to all the happy lamia playing with toys, blankets, snacks, and his soul just absolutely melts. "You've made them quite happy. Thank you. It's good to meet you." He gives a little bow, bringing himself slightly lower than Val's level. Dude's absolutely huge, about twelve and a half foot total, and standing a little over six feet tall.

He'd probably be more intimidating if there weren't a handful of bitty kraits peeking out from his pockets, a mini-corny napping around his neck, a young chain wound around one of his arms, and a full grown honeybo deciding to be a cheeky bastard and flop down right over his tail.

"This would be the local mom-friend," Keith said. "I will say outright, you can't take him home with you. He lives with Maia already."

"That I do. She's having a lovely time really, it's good to see her getting to be out and about like this, and she's having fun seeing everyone else outside too." He spoke warmly of her, body relaxed as he turned to wave at her. She was sitting on a bench with a corny curled up next to her like a scaly house cat.

Valerie was completely prepared for the pure chaos. Toys getting snatched up and tossed around, blankets disappearing and reappearing in suspicious lumps, and the steady stream of content sounds that meant the candy and junk food snacks had been well received. She didn't back away when the swarm hit, used to being in the mix of large crowds. Currant was darting after Piper, keeping the Pygmy in his sights, but he lacked the energy to keep up that pace for very long. Marmalade tolerated the small hoard that had decided he made a good perch to get higher.

Nikolai is slightly intimidating by his sheer size but his tone and expression are both incredibly relaxed. It's easy to forget that he could very easily decide to take a bite out of her or drive her off. As much as she would have loved to fawn over him, Valerie kept her interaction with Nikolai friendly and semi profressional. Keith had already mentioned that Nikolai helped Maia so it had been easy to guess that he must already have a home.

"It's nice to meet you, too. I'm Valerie." She can't resist leaning forward to quietly greet the Kraits that she saw peering from Nikolai's pockets. He certainly looked like a mom, with all sorts clamoring over his bulk. "It's my loss but I don't think Sangria is ready for me to bring another large boy home."

Now she found her nerves kicking in, nails lightly scratching at her left wrist until Marmalade grabbed her hand. Their bond pulsed gently with confidence, his soul telling her that she could do this.

"Keith was telling me that I should talk to you about adopting Piper," she finally rushed out. "Sorry. How could I say no to such an adorable guy?"

The kraits waved back. Mostly. One got shy and hid his face, he seemed younger than the rest, not used to strangers at all yet.

Nikolai spotted the little one and smiled, “I see you’ve adopted before.” His tongue flicked out, but he couldn’t even hope to pick out what all Val had after that swarm. It was a jumbled mess of tastes that felt so very much like home. “And they look to be getting along well too. It’s always for the best when people bring their Lamia and/or pets, that way we can be sure they’ll get along, but I see we’ll have no issues.”

Piper was trying to keep awake, wanting to be part of the fun, but all the excitement was starting to tire him out. He was wrapped loosely around Currant and yawned, doing that thing kittens do when they try to fight sleep. His head bobbed up and down, eyes fighting to stay open, but sleep was intent to steal him.

Nikolai couldn’t help but coo over it, “Aaaaw. Nyeheheh. I knew Piper wouldn’t be staying too long, but he looks pretty happy, and you seem to know what you’re doing.” He wasn’t willing to completely streamline the process, but honestly? She seemed perfectly ideal, provided… “I will say that he might need a bit of extra care for his scale condition. The scales on his bones might shed more frequently or out of synch with the rest, that’s nothing to be concerned about. Likewise, it’s not unheard of for scale patches to flake off entirely, though the area where it was might be softer and more prone to infection or injury for a day or two. But it’s equally likely he might grow more scales over his bones. The areas where bone and scales meet do get irritated sometimes, especially since dirt likes to get stuck there. Clean it carefully with a q-tip and apply ointment and he’ll be fine.” It was his first priority, after all, yo make sure he was cared for. “We have a spare tube of the cream we’ve been using on him. If you’ll come inside, you can have it for free, my treat.”

He turned to look at the honey-bo half-assedly pretending to be asleep (he had one eye peeked open, looking right at him, and was grinning), rolled his eyes, and gently removed him.

Piper had utterly lost the fight against sleep, completely conked out while snuggled with Currant.

Alex took a picture. How could she not?

As adorable as the Kraits were, Val was careful not to overwhelm them with her attention. She didn't want to risk paying one so much attention they got sad if she didn't take them home with her. Besides, Nikolai was talking and it felt more important to hang onto what he was saying.

"Yeah, almost all my boys are adopted from a center but I do have a rescue." Nikolai had a way about him that made her more willing to talk about Admiral than she had before. "My full-size Pygmy, Admiral, was given to me by some kid at a park. His family was using him as a free babysitter and one of the kids cracked his eye open, so his left socket is empty. He's come a long way since then."

Piper's crash came at a perfect time. Currant was also getting tired but far older and capable of resisting passing out after some play. He pet Piper instead, hoping to ease him into sleep easier. Poor guy was likely going to deal with similar crashes for a while once he met Sangria, the Mamba had the most energy out of any Lamia Currant have ever met.

"I figured he would have some special needs," Valerie admitted. She didn't know what the condition was but she had noticed Piper had scales on his bones that seemed itchy but it didn't seem he was in a full shed. The grooming necessary wasn't anything she didn't already do for Sangria, though it would likely take far less time for Piper. "I already have a brush to get dirt from scales, my Mamba insists on being groomed at least twice a week so I have tons of supplies I can use for his scales. I can always message you if I have more questions about how to care for his scales."

Since all the gifts had been handed out she put the bags into the van and closed it up again, grabbing Currant so he could once more settle around her. He was grateful for the reprieve from having to slither after them when he was already tired. If Liam thought Mamba were spoiled he was in for the true spoiled boy of Val's.

Holding onto Currant had the added benefit of allowing her to keep an eye on Piper. "Lead the way."

“How many do you have, if I may ask?” Nikolai said. He asked partly out of curiosity, and partly to make sure she wasn’t getting into more than she could handle.

He hissed under his breath heating about Admiral, “Some people… ugh! I won’t say it’s the worst possible idea, I’m technically a service Lamia myself, but I’m certified, an adult, and, well… I’m well aware that I’m bigger than most people. But even then, there’s a difference between that and being a babysitter!” He did his best to keep his anger in check, well aware that he could be terrifying and not wanting to scare Val or anyone currently present. He sighed, trying to let some tension go, “I’m not mad at you of course. I’m mad at those imbeciles! But it sounds like he’s in better hands now. Do you think he’ll be okay having a little one around after that though? I know Piper isn’t exactly a human child, but…” He had to ask these things, of course.

Nikolai let’s her into the shop. It’s mostly empty, but there’s still a person at the cash register. A few Lamia run around the front, bitty and full-sized alike, but the vast majority are outside. A few chirp hellos at Val, some hide, everyone’s got their own thing.

Nikolai motions to let her further in, past a door saying “Full sized area” and then to a supplies closet. He pulls out a tube of cream and a little pamphlet. “Here. I’d had this prepared for whoever might adopt Piper. It gives a basic overview, some good links, and diagrams.” It’s got the name of the condition on it (whatever that is… names are hard) and is smattered with images of Lamia with scales growing over bones. One extreme case, a Krait apparently, had scales covering his full body.

Meanwhile, that Corny was absolutely still napping in the car. He’d moved away from the blankets, finding a shady, safely enclosed spot to sleep off his food-coma: the glove box.

"I have five boys, currently," she admitted, knowing it might seem like a lot to the casual asker. "But I work from home so I have plenty of time for all of them and a few more."

She was of a similar mind when it came to what a full-sized should do. One as large as Nikolai could be a service Lamia because he was of a size where he wasn't likely to be taken advantage of my humans. But a Pygmy like Admiral was nowhere near large enough to babysit human children, regardless of how much energy he possessed. She could also understand his concerns of whether or not Admiral would be able to handle having a young Lamia in the house but this was one thing she had tested. "Admiral is fine with all Lamia, even young ones. It's just human children he panics around. Piper already has experience with Liam so seeing Admiral with one blank socket shouldn't startle him."

Currant looked around the center, more at ease since he knew that Valerie wouldn't drop him off here, but wasn't overly concerned with anyone who greeted Val. He rather liked that his human was so coveted by other Lamia but had chosen him instead.

"You take such good care of everyone here," she told Nikolai. "It's no wonder everyone respects you... I'm happy to be good enough for Piper, thank you."

Since she has her arms full, Marmalade takes the tube and pamphlet from Nikolai and puts them carefully into one of his jacket pockets. Valerie will obsess over them later.

"anythin' piper might wanna have when we go?" her Chain asked Nikolai. "he's young so a new place might be scary."

Nikolai looked worried at first, but nodded when he heard her situation. “He’ll have company then, that’s good.”

“They live in the woods too, so the bigger, stronger ones have room to hunt,” Keith said.

Nikolai smiled, “Great to hear then. That is one of the downsides of cities, it’s hard to let all of these guys outside as much as they ought to.”

It seemed like she had everything in order then. Admiral would be fine, she had a good track record, Piper seemed to love her and her Lamia already, and even asking for something for him. “I think I know. Give me a minute, I’ve got to go get it.” He slithered off towards the nursery, looking around for one particular toy…

And in the meantime, Hux had caught scent of a human and unfamiliar Lamia. “Heh… Surprised to see you in here. Figured you’d be outside. Like, most of us who ain’t out there are fine staying here y’know.”

Keith bit back a sigh, putting on a lazy smile instead, “And that’d be Hux.”

“Yo,” Hux said. His eyes wandered to Trousle, who was still casually draped on Val, and his soul dropped. He picked up Trousle and stuck Trousle on his own neck instead. “There. Better.”

“I was fine over there too.” Trousle said.

“Yeah, well… Yer with me now.”

"Yeah, I have a lot of space." She rushed to assure Nikolai. "Honestly, I think Sangria wants me to have a gaggle of Lamia sometimes. He acts like he hates when I bring someone new around but he's the biggest mom in my house. Piper won't ever be in danger with all my boys, that's a promise."

"she drove kinda far to get us from our center," Marmalade revealed with a shrug. "plenty of stuff to hunt but we got safe havens set up all over the woods. pretty sure at least a couple of wild lamia have taken refuge in our caves too."

The whole situation was exciting. Piper was adorable and he would encourage Currant into being more active without bribery, since it seemed he'd taken an intense liking to the little Pygmy. Currant's coils tightened around Valerie's waist, his sockets narrowing at the arrival of another fucking Coral. He wasn't threatened, Val didn't seem to notice Hux was there yet, but he did make his displeasure known with a single warning hiss.

"Oh!" Val startled, not expecting Trousle to be suddenly taken off her. She smiled at Hux, figuring he was treating her to the grumpiness she'd heard he was known for. "No, I'm not adopting anyone from inside! I was just getting some stuff for Piper, I'll be taking him home."

Currant narrowed his eyes even further, almost closing his sockets, and carefully situated Piper within his jacket so Hux couldn't grab him too. Marmalade rolled his eye lights towards Hux, keeping an eye on the situation in case he neeeded to diffuse any tension.

"Do you like Trousle's new scarf?" Val asked, turning to give Hux more attention while she adjusted her grip on Currant. "I had gifts for everyone. Liam almost took yours."

Nikolai couldn’t help grinning when he heard that. It sounded like a perfect environment with enough hunting Lamia to keep little and lazy ones safe.

Hux just laughed at Currant’s hiss. “I promise, I ain’t here to steal your bitch. You can keep her.” He was hesitant to take his eyes off the bunch, not sure how to feel about strange Lamia in his home, so he compromised and brought Trousle up to look at him. “Looks good on ya, Trus. Compliments your scales.”

Trousle beamed, hiking himself up to show off, throwing the scarf behind him like he was in a beauty commercial and it was long, flowing hair.

“Nice.” His pride wanted to not accept gifts… but his desire to hoard things won out. “That sounds like Liam alright. He calls himself a hunter, but pretty sure he’s just a fucking thief. Slick fucking bastard, thinking he’s the shit.” He lowered to a mumble as a dusting of red started to glow from his cheeks, “Just ‘cause he’s strong and could kill me with those fangs - thinks he’s so great. I’ll shove it down his throat sometime, but he’d probably just laugh and push me down. Fuckin…”

Keith was not the least bit oblivious to Hux’s crush, but chose not to comment on it… with other people there. In private, he’d gladly tease him mercilessly.

… okay, maaaaybe Keith couldn’t resist. “Dude fought through a flock of geese. Actually caught one or two. You should’ve seen it.”

“Of course he did!” Pause. “Did he save any?”

“Absolutely not, but maybe you can lick the blood off his fangs.”

Hux turned bright red, eyes going huge at the idea, and Keith laughed uproariously.

Desperately wanting to change the subject, Hux yelled out, “OKAY PRESENTS NOW.” But he couldn’t drown out Keith and glared at the traitor. “I hate you.”

Ah, now Alex's wariness made plenty of sense. Hux was one of those Lamia that had high defenses up at all times. Valerie wasn't surprised that he seemed particularly against her, either. She was a stranger and if he already didn't like humans then she was doubly on his shit list. It was a good thing she didn't have a burning need for him to like her, and being insulted wasn't new either.

Currant, on the other hand, never liked to hear her be insulted. He wasn't normally a very confrontational Lamia but he would happily throw his weight around if it meant she wasn't sad. His hidden bastard side came out to play the moment he sensed something that he could pick at, the only reason he didn't let loose on a barrage of verbal hatred was because Piper was there.

"hope ya never have kids with that mouth," Currant hissed, cupping a hand around where Piper's head was. Like that would prevent him from waking and hearing the garbage Hux was spouting.

Marmalade didn't understand the teasing. Of course Hux would want to mate with a Mamba, it just made the most sense. Sure, Liam wasn't as great as Sangria but a Mamba was a great catch as a bondmate. It likely helped that Liam and Hux were closer in size, any larger of a Mamba and Hux would be pining forever. But there was more important things to worry about, other than what some stranger wanted to mate with.

Hux had insulted Valerie.

At any other time, Marmalade might have let it go. He was a gentle Lamia at his core and Val really disliked when they fought but he was more than capable of defending himself and her. Better Marmalade take care of this than Sangria decide that Hux no longer deserved the pleasure of being alive. Should they ever meet, that is.

"dude," Marmalade deadpanned. His tail coiled around Val, a flash of warning in his gaze. "insult whatever human ya fancy but keep yer opinions on our human to yerself, got it?"

The tension was thick enough to cut with a knife... holy shit. "Anyway!" Valerie blurted, pulling one of the geodes out so Hux could see it. Hopefully nipping any fights in the bud. "I have some geodes. Liam seemed to think they were pretty and I'm sure that he would love whatever you didn't want."

Please, she mentally begged. Take them and don't fight.

Hux wasn’t so easily dissuaded, at least not from Marmalade. “Wow, geez. Ya don’t have to be so desperate to suck her lady-“

“HUX! CHILD!” Keith knew too well what was probably about to come from Hux’s mouth. “Also that’s just rude!”

Hux huffed. “Right right, whatever. Soul bonds and whatever, who needs that shit! You don’t, right?” He looked up at Keith, grinning in a fakely laid-back way.

Keith stuffed his hands in his pockets, looking away, “Right.” He was lying through his teeth.

“Bros before hoes,” Hux said. “But geez. That weirdo can’t keep her hands off nobody, huh? How do you guys stand that? She tastes like bug spray and dirt.”

Keith sighed, “She works outside.”

“Whatever.”

…

“Do you want the rocks?” Keith said. “No. I know you want the rocks. Are you gonna stop being a butt long enough to take them, or should I keep them forever?” He could take the guy’s vitriol, and he’d rather Hux come at him than the others. That shit could just roll off his scales, and they’d make up when he wasn’t as tense. The others didn’t have that option.

“… yes please,” Hux said, looking aside and blushing. “Oh. And good. I’d be a shit parent, mom or dad. Why have them anyways? Not like they wouldn’t end up being given out… But the rocks will be mine forever!”

Valerie usually had no trouble keeping her own vulgarity in check, because she didn't want any of the boys to pick up on her own foul mouth, but Hux was clearly deserving of a brand new title. It was a lot harder to insult her than it was to piss off her boys. Of course he would cause her filter to fly out the window. "Wow. You're a little shit."

Currant huffed, annoyed but amused at the same time. Hux was obviously no threat, likely all talk, so he was easily dismissed. At least by Currant. Marmalade, however, was giving Keith a peculiar look and making no secret of it. It was obvious that nobody else knew about the bond he shared with Alex and he was lying about it. Badly, at that.

Which, fair. Hux clearly didn't like humans for whatever reason and they did live in the same center. But to deny a soulbond... no Chain should ever want to do anything like that. Marmalade cocked his head, staring at Hux now and occasionally shifting his attention to Keith.

"every chain has a soulbond," Currant huffed, not paying attention to Hux but keeping half a mind on the conversation. "even a baby knows that. an unless yer bonded died they're out there."

Probably not the best thing to say but Val hoped to distract Hux with the geodes. Now it was her turn to be a bit of a little shit because he wasn't getting one unless he took it from her. She was likely just as used to hearing nasty comments from someone as Keith was. Hux kind of reminded her of her brothers, thinking that everyone wanted the same things out of life.

"I don't get the craze about having kids either," Val shrugged, waving a geode. "And they're geodes , not rocks. What kind of idiot do you take me for? Rocks can be found anywhere but geodes are rocks with crystals inside."

“I ain’t denying it,” he huffed. “Keeps the weirdos away.”

Keith couldn’t meet Marmalade’s eyes. He could guess we’ll enough what the other was thinking. Hiding a soul bond, he must be nuts! But he’s not even sure if it’s legit, not if Alex hasn’t said anything, and she hasn’t made any move to adopt either, so why get Hux all worked up?

“Yeah, well, either the fucker’s dead, or ain’t interested,” Hux said, curling protectively around Keith and hugging him insistently. “We’re lifers, right dude?”

“‘Course we are. Twenty-four years and nothing, why would there be…” Maybe it was just sheer desperation making him drawn to Alex. Maybe the cookies, or the dice. Could you be so wanting that you accidentally faked one with the wrong person just fo have something?

Hux went, “Pffft. A Crystal is a rock. It’s just a good rock. I mean, Great Danes are good dogs, but they’re still dogs. And hey, I ain’t above a rock collection…” He was still coiled around Keith, physically insisting on affection from the other (who, indeed, gave him a hug, stroking his skull) as he kept his eyes on the prize. “What do you say dude? Split ‘em best we can? Look like they come in halves, so I take one half and you the other?” It was like a friendship bracelet, but expensive and actually something they both wanted.

“Ya gotta convince her to give you your half first,” Keith said.

“You said you’d get them otherwise! So just give me half.”

“Eeeeh… I’ll consider it.” He was grinning cheekily, tongue flicking out as he leaned his weight against Hux.

“Rude.”

“I know ya are, I’m just another victim of gravity,” Keith said.

Hux was getting slowly crushed. “Why are you like this.”

“You looooove me.”

“Shut up… but yeah…”

Hux wasn't wrong. Being a little shit did keep the weirdos away. That was something Valerie knew from experience. She felt that, had things been different, she might have gotten along with Hux and even liked how blunt he was. The way Hux acted about humans and getting adopted made her wonder why he acted that way. Had something happened or had he just been passed up too many times?

Keith should certainly have been wary of meeting Marmalade's gaze because Marmalade was staring even harder. He doubted that the bond between Keith and Alex was fake, he'd never heard of a Chain that couldn't form that bond, so whatever foolish thoughts Keith was having were likely false. Unless... did Keith just not know anything about soulbonds? Humans didn't always feel it, especially if they were a little more on the dense side.

It would be a miracle if Marmalade kept his mouth shut.... and he just couldn't allow Keith to get away with denying it. "or the human jus' don' know what it feels like. ya can' acknowledge a bond without knowin' it's there."

"A crystal is not a rock," Val denied, already having researched this because Sangria hated rocks being in the house. "Crystals are made up of a highly ordered arrangement of atoms that repeat in a three dimensional pattern, they're closer to minerals."

The dedication Hux had for his friendships was admirable but he was still a little shit and he riled Val's inner sass to maximum levels. She still held the geode aloft, fully prepared to offer them to someone else if Hux continued to resist.

"I mean I guess if you're too chicken to grab one," she hummed, pretending to look around for someone else to give it to. "I can always find another Lamia that might want a geode."

"snrk!"

Trust Currant to recognize her game, she'd played it with him often enough.

“I guess?” Keith said. “Some people can have trouble with they stuff I guess…”

Trousle looked at Keith, unamused, “It’s not like it’ll change everything. You’re not a slave to it, you know.”

“Really? ‘Cause, uh… honestly, I don’t know how you guys do it,” Hux said, looking at Marmalade, “Or even why. Someone hijacks your soul and makes you feel shit, so you get closer and make it worse. Why deal with that? Why not just run and hope it goes away? ‘Cause it sounds like some kinda fucked up brainwashing to me.”

Keith kept his mouth shut. In the past he’d agreed with Hux to some extent, but now he wasn’t sure… Was that proof that Hux was wrong though, or that he was right and Keith was just falling victim to it?

While Keith was distracted, Hux tried to slither out from under him to grab the geodes, but Keith still had the presence of mind to flop down even harder, quietly delighting in the noises of rage even through his thoughts.

Nikolai finally walked back in - making Hux stiffen up because he was absolutely caught being a dick again - with a light blue teddy bear that looked like it’d been through its paces. The scent of home was soaked into it, and he’d noticed that Piper especially tended to like it. “Here. He likes curling around it when he’s tired or not feeling the best.” He’d gotten oddly protective of the toy at times, fending off those who’d try to hunt it. Best he could tell, he was trying to mimic Cobalt - the little mamba who defended him from teasing - but with Mr. Bluebeary.

“Now then, what exactly’s happening here?” Nikolai followed up.

“Keith’s crushing meeeeee,” Hux whined, making grabby hands for the geodes while trying to wiggle out. Maybe he could get sympathy?

“Hux is being rude.” Trousle said.

Nikolai was not remotely surprised. “Hux. Don’t be a jerk. Especially not if you’re the one seeking out the people!”

“I didn’t!”

“Why are you in the supplies closet then?”

“…”

Nikolai sighed. “Sorry about him. Are you all alright?”

"'s nothin' like brainwashin'," Marmalade said, a slight hiss in his tone. The very idea that he would be forced into a bond was insulting to everything that he was. It clearly showed that none of them understood the bond at all. If Keith did, he wasn't showing it. "the human has nothin' to do with the bond. 's all in the chain. we feel the bond an we decide if we forge it or not. 's a matter of feelin' complete, havin' someone that understands."

Trying to explain how right a completed bond felt was not dissimilar to attempting to explain astrophysics to a toddler. Marmalade's gaze was inevitably drawn to his bonded human, the one who had calmed his doubts and made him feel like he had worth beyond his species. He hadn't thought he would ever get a human either but Marmalade had known as soon as she walked in that she was his and that made her perfect.

"yer bonded fills a void you didn' know you had," he settled on. "but tha's not all they do. 's different for every chain. you jus'... you know tha' the human is fer you and that you would make their world brighter."

It was in no way accurate for what the bond was, any Chain would know that, but the soulbond wasn't so easily defined by one Lamia. What the bond meant to Marmalade would likely not be what it meant to Keith, or any other Lamia.

"Aw," Val cooed, tucking the bear into Currant's jacket so Piper could cuddle it in his sleep. "Thank you, Nikolai."

As much of a shithead as Hux was being, he still didn't deserve to be punished for caring about his friends and not wanting to be alone. So Valerie allowed him to try and hide his blunder, even if it didn't work, and didn't even try to hide her snicker. Hux may have been an asshole but he wasn't a complete lost cause.

"Clearly he wanted the geodes he must have smelled," Val countered. She was giving Hux an out, giving him a way so he didn't have to seem like he'd sought out a human and had just been drawn by presents. She did take pity on his woes and gently laid the geodes into his hands, a collection of them ranging in color and size. "He's quite the character, Nikolai. An absolute little shit."

"snrk!!"

"val," Marmalade laughed.

"I'm fine," she beamed. "Honestly, Hux may be a little shit but Keith seemed to have him well in coils."

Piper subconsciously coiled around Mr. Bluebeary in his sleep (apparently just absolutely exhausted since he slept through this), letting out a sleepy purr.

Keith should theoretically know better, and Nikolai and other Chain have told him better, but… Well, after all those years without one, all those years of him and Hux living together, all those years of watching others leave and clinging to those who’d probably stay…

It hurt less to convince himself that it was brainwashing. Hurt less to say he didn’t need one. Hurt less to pretend to pity those who went off happily with their bond mates instead of being jealous…

And then he found one, and she’s actually pretty sweet and fun and just a bit of a weirdo, just like them. Then he started looking forward to her coming. But the old thoughts still haunted his mind, saying he’d been forced into it, that it wasn’t real, but why not?

Keith kept his mouth shut on the matter.

Hux, thankfully, took the bait this time and decided to keep his mouth shut, instead greedily putting as much of himself as he could over the geodes as he inspected them. “Thanks.” His eyes were starting to go wide like Currant’s as he looked inside, peering at the crystals and the way they shimmered, catching the light. “Changed my mind. I ain’t sharing.” He was absolutely keeping these forever.

Nikolai attempted to stifle his laugh, but a chuckle still slipped through, “An apt description of him.”

“I love you, but yes,” Trousle said. Even he wouldn’t deny it.

“Eh… He’s my buddy,” Keith said. “Just a bit prickly.” He captured Hux further in a big hug. Only Hux’s head was sticking out now, the rest trapped under Keith. “Kinda a goober too.”

Hux pressed his face to the floor to hide the rising blush.

Currant cooed at Piper, delighted and so enthralled with having a young one to watch over that he didn't care about anything else. Didn't care about anyone else. Marmalade finally allowed the conversation about soulbonds to drop, feeling he had made his point. He peeked closer at Piper, the little guy not having been handed to him, and carefully made sure to take in the Pygmy's scent. Piper would be safer if Marmalade made sure he remembered what he smelled like.

Now Hux was starting to sound like Currant, too. Hoarding the geodes beneath his coils. It was always a little strange to see just how similar different Lamia were within their own species. Yet they were so different too. Hux had finally taken his eyes off her and she didn't feel like he was waiting to take a bite out of her if she moved wrong.

"I've found that the little shits are worth the most," Valerie said, agreeing with Keith. "It's the ones you work with, the friends you make that you have to fight for, that are the best you can have. Hux is one of those lifer friends, isn't he?"

"seems that way," Marmalade muttered, eyeing Hux's position on the ground.

But this was also an experience that Valerie couldn't pass up! She whipped out her phone and snapped a quick picture of Hux, trapped beneath Keith's coils, and sent it off to the boys at home with the caption a little shit being taken in coil with an appropriate amount of giggling. The picture she got in return was.... not a picture at all. Loud laughter spilled from her phone.

"LITTLE SHIT," Sangria wheezed in the video and she saw the grin Lapis directed at the phone camera, along with his typical finger guns.

"Why didn't I think of that?" she whisper-yelled. "A video call with my boys at home... ohmystars I feel like an idiot."

"eh," Marmalade grinned. "val's kinda a goober too."

Piper is happily snuggled against his teddy in his new best friend’s pocket with his favorite teddy. That is one blissful bitty bones.

Keith nodded, “Yeah, Hux is a lifer. I ain’t leaving him in to dust for anything or anyone.”

Hux groaned as he realized he was being laughed at, “Just end me now.”

“Nah. You’re trapped in cuddle land,” Keith said lazily, giving him an affectionate squeeze.

“How dare,” Hux said with absolutely no bite, enjoying this but also super embarrassed.

Nikolai chuckled, “These two are quite the pair. Good to hear from you.”

“I’m guessing one of ya is the famed Sangria,” Hux said. “Hey Currant, wanna show ‘em your new lil treasure?” Let the dude show off. It’ll be adorable.

Nikolai had no objections to this. If anything, he was trying to get closer to see Sangria and Lapis’s reactions.

Sangria puffed up in the video, gloves hands upon his hips and grin widening at the fact that people knew his name without having to be introduced. Yes, his malevolence was well known to Lamia all over! He didn't quite know how to ask Val how everything was going but things seemed to be going alright. Lapis was giggling, obviously being the one that was holding the phone.

He was hoping that Valerie wasn't bringing any of the full-sized hooligans into his territory, perking at the mention of a treasure.

"Oh, Sangria, he's adorable!" Val was gushing, pointing the camera towards Piper's sleeping face. "Look at him!"

Everyone was treated to the sight of Sangria's eye lights going huge in his sockets, slit pupils expanding into circles that nearly overtook the color. Lapis peeked around the phone so he could see what had caused that reaction. His grin widened.

"IS THAT A CHILD?" Sangria whispered, looking like he wanted to get closer. "ADMIRAL COME LOOK!"

Within seconds there was a cluster of eyes and skulls looking at Piper, a group of cooing Lamia enthused to see him. Well, Valerie hadn't expected this kind of reaction. They had even ignored Nikolai's introduction!

"HI!" Admiral squealed at them, being the first to notice all the others. His darkened socket and scarred cheek momentarily taking up the screen. "Baby?? BABY, BABY, BABY!!"

Aaaand he was off, distantly screeching.

"'pologies," Lapis drawled lazily. Sangria squeaked, demanding he be released so he could speak to everyone. Looks like Admiral was overcome by the zoomies. "mighta gave the kid a lil' too much caffeine."

Caffeine? A caffeinated Pygmy?

That was terrifying!

At all the noise, Piper started to stir, eyes peeking open as his mouth opened in a yawn. He started stretching out to wake up, but his coils instead tightened around Mr. Bluebeary. His head bobbed up and down as he fought to wake up, squeaking and chirping, but he lost and drifted back to sleep against his fuzzy little friend.

Nikolai chuckled, giving Piper a little head pat, “He got so excited when he found out about our park week that he didn’t sleep for a few days. Between that and all the excitement of being outside and meeting you, I’m sure he’s exhausted himself.” He then turned to Lapis, “And you. What in the vast reaches of the entire universe possessed you to over caffeinate a Pygmy?”

“Dude. You’re braver than me,” Hux said. “The zoomies would be horrifying.”

“Good luck Sangria,” Keith said, not wishing this fate on any. Well, at least they didn’t over-caffeinate a mamba…

The little sounds Piper made as he settled back into sleep were the most adorable thing Valerie had heard in a while and she barely resisted the urge to scoop him up and cuddle him close. He was going to do well with her boys, they'd keep him busy and make sure he was able to sleep through the night. Soon, he would have them all wrapped up in his adorable shenanigans.

"Lapis," she groaned, horrified at the idea of Admiral hyped up on caffeine. "I know you love your pranks but this... I don't see the a peel here."

Lapis beamed, giggling to himself and turning the phone so they could watch Sangria zip around after Admiral. The Pygmy was climbing all over the furniture and babbling too fast at the windows for his words to make any sense. These zoomies were fast-paced and chaotic, Admiral's voice so enthusiastic that Sangria was grinning.

"not brave," Lapis corrected. "jus' need to make sure sangria sleeps tonight. what better way than to have him chase admiral?"

"Its possible Sangria doesn't care," Valerie laughed. "But you had better not caffeinate Piper, Lapis. We don't need two zooming Pygmy."

She had to pause to mentally picture that and it was.... enough to make her nervous. Lapis would absolutely do that to her if he felt like she could handle it and it would be funny.

"thought it'd be funny," the Corny shrugged. "they were both mopin' around."

“He’s too young for it right now anyways,” Nikolai said, always the responsible parent. “And keep in mind, at his size, a little caffeine goes a much longer way. I wouldn’t give him anything stronger than white tea and dark chocolate, even as an adult.”

“That sounds like a way to do it though,” Hux said. “And a hilarious way at that! Why deal with mopes when you can watch ‘em zoom?”

“I almost wanna argue against that, but I can’t,” Keith said.

Even Nikolai had to admit, “I suppose that is a strategy…”

Valerie turned a mildly horrified look to Hux and Keith, knowing it was already too late to stop the monster they'd created. Lapis was a lazy guy, sure, but when it came to pranks and causing chaos he was the best in the house. And they were fueling his fire by the way he grinned at them.

"jus' make sure nothin' breaks," Currant grumbled with narrowed sockets. "they could go outside."

"a great idea," was Lapis' easygoing reply. "more roomie for the zoomie."

"What have you done?" Val groaned, watching the train wreck happening at her home. Lapis had opened the front door and Admiral was off like a rocket, Sangria hot on his tail. She couldn't help but smile at the way they zipped through the grass and trees, Admiral briefly posing on top of the basking rock with a 'MWEH HEH HEH' that was too cute.

"an when three o' them zoom together..." Marmalade shuddered. "stars..."

Nikolai was thinking to himself… partly out loud. “I suppose if Liam gets bored, that’s a way to do it…”

Hux laughed and flashed a devious grin, “I apologize for nothing.”

“I’m guilty as charged,” Keith said. “Agent of chaos, right here. Fear me.”

“Good luck if Piper zooms too,” Hux says. “Kid tried to fight Liam, he might try Sangria too.”

“I am glad they are getting exercise, but there are better ways!” Trousle said, the electronic voice muffled between Hux and Keith. “Like watching Avatar and trying to do the martial arts despite not having legs.”

"Oh stars," Val giggled, so horrified by her own imagination that she had ascended beyond groaning. "Imagine if someone caffeinated all the Mamba and Pygmy, though. It'd be an apocalypse!"

Now that she had said it aloud, Valerie felt like she might have just put pure chaos into the center's future. The only benefit she could find was that caffeine didn't last forever and the Lamia would crash pretty quickly.

"eh, sangria likes a challenger on occasion," Marmalade said with a snicker. "an piper 's already a dragon so sangria 'll be impressed. kid has guts."

"but he's jus' bones."

"Oh, Trousle," Val smiled. "Sweet summer child. My boys are basically feral when it comes to having fun and exercising! Even Lapis, the laziest noodle, has chaotic ways he moves when it's time."

"but val," Lapis cackled, "thought ya liked corny zoomies?"

"you jus' do the worm, though."

"Oh stars," Nikolai gasped in sheer horror at the thought. "I'm putting locks on all the coffees and tea. Staff only."

"Noooooooo...." Hux groaned, "I wanted to do it."

"I take no responsibility whether it does or does not happen," Keith said. He wasn't gonna bring the apocalypse, but wouldn't stop it either...

Trousle grinned, "Well then! We should hang out sometime! I bet I could "worm" better than you! Lazybones! Heart. Heart. Heart." He stuck his tongue out, wiggling playfully.

"That's probably for the best, really." She shuddered a little, cursing her own imagination with every colorful swear she knew. "Better watch the keys too. If you have any Cornies that are even remotely like Lapis, those keys might get stolen. Or the locks picked."

"or you could convince someone on staff tha' you wanted tea an jus' encourage a Mamba an Pygmy hoard to attack the hiding place," Marmalade said with a grin.

"whose side are you even on?" Currant demanded.

"anarchy," was the deadpan response.

"oh," Lapis peered closer to the phone. "hey there, kid. didn't know a papython was around. cool scarf... the worm ain't exactly a papython move, not cool enough, but it'd be fun."

"It's okay, I'm the small one! I understand." Trousle said. "Thank you! Val gave it to me! It looks so great!"

"There's no stopping the apocalypse. Just stock up while you can," Nikolai said.

Hux and Keith were laughing.

"I heard that we're not telling Cornies something?" said a Corny. "Also, pass the water bandages, will ya? Rings got cut on a rock."

"Oozy! My man!" Keith chirped.

Nikolai gave Oozy the bandages.

"Give him a pet, yeah? He likes those," Hux said to Val. The layer of ooze on Oozy was thinner and clearer than usual, water having diluted and washed quite a bit away, but there was still a hard-to-see the layer of slime on him.

Oozy was too wrapped up in what he wasn't supposed to be doing to pay attention to the waterproof wrappings (or Hux) though. "Soooooo... what am I absolutely not supposed to know?"

"yeah, she loves to give gifts. can't wait to meet you, kid."

There was no doubt that Valerie would be going to the center to see Trousle and all of them again. Next time it would be a big thing where everyone would go.

This new side to Hux was a far cry better than him being a little shit. It felt more like the real Hux had made an appearance and Keith was right, he was a huge goober.

"anarchy now," Marmalade declared. "didn' want a corny to know someone was plannin' on caffeinatin' the mamba an pygmy to bring about the apocalypse."

"don' forget the lockpickin'," Lapis delighted in tacking on.

But Val wasn't really listening to them. She was looking at Oozy and trying to decide if Hux was playing a trick on her or not. It wasn't typical for her to just reach out and pet a Lamia without asking first but even if Oozy did bite her, he wasn't venomous and the worst that could happen is it would hurt. It wouldn't even be the worst pain.

So Val reached out and pet Oozy on the back of the skull. The resulting mucus on her hand was disgusting but also very interesting to pet and she became far more invested in petting it than was normal. She made a noise of intrigue, reminded of patting mud pies as a kid.

"gross," was Currant's hiss.

“I look forward to meeting you too!” Trousle said. “Have you ever played DnD? My friends here and I play a few times a week!”

Oozy’s eyes widened, “That sounds like a disaster…” He was totally saving that idea for when he got bored. “Lock Picking Lawyer is pretty cool. I started watching him on one of my YouTube dives. Heh. Learned a lot about locks.”

Oozy’s eyes were on Val’s handy; he was giddy with anticipation, both for the affection and the almost inevitable gross-out. The dude couldn’t help giggling at the face she made, but would never say no to some friendly pets. He shrugged at Currant, used to it, “Eh, it’s life. Slimy, slimy life. Name’s Oozy, good to meet y’all.”

Hux was also laughing at poor Val for falling for it. Keith mentally gave her props for petting him anyways, even if it might’ve been morbid curiosity.

“Mmm… Geez, this has been a good year with girls for me. Might get spoiled at this rate,” Oozy said, longing to capture her in a cuddle, but he got the feeling that would just gross her out. Ah well, someday maybe.

"i've helped val make dnd characters before, when she was feeling like drawing chaos. never played any."

"lapis can pick locks, somehow." And Marmalade was still in awe of that random talent. None of them even knew where he'd picked up that skill from. Val couldn't reliably hide anything from him if he became determined enough to get it.

Currant was staring at Val's hand as she petsOozy. This must have been how people felt when they witnessed a horrible accident, horrified but unable to look away. The more she pet the more interested she became and the most enthusiastic about continuing to pet him. It was gross, yeah, but she was fascinated by the fact he was slimy. Like a frog or a salamander.

"Ohmystars," she breathed, using both hands to pet and probably resembling a kid meeting Santa for the first time. "This is so gross but so cool too! You feel like a salamander, ohmygodwhydidtheynameyouOozywhenyoufeellikethis???"

"oh no..."

“I could teach you if you want! Keith DMs.”

“I’m Keith,” Keith says, trying to keep Lapis up to speed, “The one I’m sitting on is Hux. Our King is Nikolai.”

Oozy’s eyes went starry and he splayed himself out for maximum petting. “Right? Heh. We can’t quite figure out why? But it’s a thicker ooze when I ain’t wet… or haven’t been in water recently, I’m always kinda wet. And, well, there have been worse Corny names. We seem to attract them.”

“Poor Spoon,” Nikolai said. “I should get naming guidelines…”

“Still better than Radish,” Hux said.

“I think Radish was a honeybo though,” Keith said.

“Still kinda respect the hastily renamed Mamba ‘Little Tucker.’” Oozy said with a grin, bearing his throat for some neck-scratches.

“Princess Garbage Lamp thankfully had that name changed,” Nikolai said.

“Didn’t YOU start that nickname?”

“In my defense, you weren’t born yet to witness that fiasco.”

"that'd be great, kid."

The amount of shenanigans that Lapis could inflict upon them is enough to make Currant and Marmalade giggle like schoolgirls. Lapis is still smiling but they can tell he wishes he was the one getting the pets and attention that Oozy is getting. Val was so excited about something different.

"I named my boys after colors," Val's voice was distracted, the feel of Oozy beneath her hands much more interesting. She itched to take pictures so she could draw this later, knowing it would be a huge boon to her visual library. "Color names are the best."

"val's an artist so she likes to name us after stuff she likes an knows." Currant paused, flushing a little. "she also tends to call us gems."

"the truth comes out," Marmalade teased. "nikolai can't name."

"Does it float in the water?" Valerie asked, moving her petting to Oozy's neck and using her nails to scratch lightly at his prompting. "Like, does it come off you and float? Or does your body absorb it, somehow? Does it have a taste? What does it mean for your scales? Do you shed?"

Keith smiled, “That’s adorable actually. Like, it’s freaking precious when someone shares part of what’s special to them with you.”

Nikolai agrees with the sentiment, but is also blushing, “I have many talents. Naming isn’t one of them.”

Oozy purrs deep in his chest, eyes shutting in bliss. “Depends on how thick it’s gotten. Fresher ooze might thin out a little bit, but if I’ve been sleeping in it a while, it’ll probably slough off and dissolve after a while. I’m kinda numb to the taste, but apparently, it’s got a salty and tangy vibe, but gets bitter if it stays there too long. I apparently have really uneven shedding, more like parts of the skin just get really soft until a slight bump tears it off. Usually dusts before it fully leaves the slime. I can’t really feel it when it happens though. From what we can tell, this stuff has ups and downs. Have to be careful about fungi, but I out-ick most other grossness. It seals up any cuts, burns, or whatever I might get and keeps them more or less sterile. Not that I get hurt much…”

"prolly also helps that none of us had names," Marmalade added. "the center we came from didn' give us names, we knew who was being talked to without that. Jus' easier to let adopters name us."

"don' think piper will get a different name though," Currant said, finally having enough and slithering off Val. "'s a cute name."

Valerie was far more interested in what Oozy had going on. She wasn't inclined towards science but she was curious about everything new that she found out. It must have been a little inconvenient to be covered in goop but it was fascinating that he knew so much about it. She was almost tempted to taste it just to see but Valerie wasn't that adventurous when it cameto trying new things. His word that it was salty-tangy was more than enough.

"Shame you didn't use the pun," she finally grumbled. "Coulda said something about how you can't become too much of a fun gi... But it's really cool. Like a protective layer, right?"

“We tried that, but names stick,” Nikolai says. “It’s almost impossible for them NOT to end up called something.”

Oozy’s eyes went wide and he laughed, “Dude. That’s hissterical. You’re really treating me to a good slime here!” He laughed a little more, then went back to explaining, “Maybe? I won’t say I’m entirely unique, but it’s a super rare condition. Ain’t been many chances to study if, so no one’s fully sure what causes it. I’ve had some science dudes and doctors and stuff come look at me. Nothing bad of course. Pretty sure Nikolai would’ve maimed them if they tried to go mad scientist.

“We’ve got a few theories. Some think that my soul is really stubborn in believing that I’m supposed to be an amphibian, or maybe I had an ancestor or two who were part frog or salamander or something. Others think there’s an issue in magic processing, like maybe my body just doesn’t know to slow down, or maybe something in that whole process is just completely borked. Point is, we ain’t sure. We’ve narrowed out a few possibilities, but don’t know why I do this, how to make it stop, or if that’d even be a good idea.

“But eh… whooze worried ‘bout that anyways?”

Oh no, he was a typical Corny all right. Puns, something Valerie had only really started to find funny after getting Lapis, spilling forward so easily she was momentarily stunned. He was slightly better than Lapis was and that feat was impressive enough she would have made sparkle eyes at Oozy if she could.

"Or maybe it's just you being such a slick guy that you can't contain it." She wiggled her eyebrows comically, a wheeze from Marmalade accompanying her words, and wasn't she just the smuggest person ever at that? "I guess you could also come from mixed genetics... maybe you had someone aquatic in your history? Aquatic creatures produce a slime too."

She was trying to resist commenting how he might actually be aslug, a lazy slug, but figured that would be rude. And then she had a sudden epiphany that caused her so much glee it almost physically manifested in a subtle glow from her chest.

"Or maybe..." she bit her lip, fighting back a massive grin. "You're a sea slug."

Oozy didn't even try to stifle his chuckling as a grin split his face, but he absolutely lost it at sea slug, letting out one of those "Pffffft"s of when you're caught off guard, then throwing his head back in laughter with his hand on his face. "Dude. Omg. That's a newt one. Good thing I'm a sea slug though and not a regular one, 'cause I'm being assalted with puns! Eel give you that, you're pretty good."

Hux was audibly groaning, getting more and more exasperated with every passing pun. Keith was laughing along while Nikolai fondly watched.

Valerie lost her battle with laughter, Currant's sockets narrowed in warning while Marmalade nearly collapsed as he wheezed along. She also heard Lapis giggling from the phone, beside himself with the fact he had so thoroughly corrupt her sense of humor with his own shenanigans.

"They just keep coming and I didn't even planet that way. Lapis' humor just seemed to mussel in when I brought him home. I'm not shellfish with the puns, either. Feel free to use 'em anytime."

Marmalade was wheezing so heavily that she was honestly concerned about his health and Lapis had descended into such high pitch giggles that she felt proud of herself. No Corny stood a chance now.

Oozy wasn’t sure he could top that. And he DEFINITELY couldn’t while he was too busy laughing his ass off to breathe. Hux was screaming into the floor in exaggerated anguish. Keith was howling. Even Nikolai was laughing along with the rest. This was the best possible result.

And through it all, a confused Krait awkwardly takes the water bandages from where Oozy sat them down, slithering back to the rest and avoiding whatever all this is.

It was comical, how she sat back with such a smug look on her face while surrounded by hysterical Lamia in various stages of horror or laughter. They were all lucky they wouldn't pass out from laughing so much or she might have been in trouble. Currant had grown used to the insane amount of shenanigans so he wasn't quite screaming but he certainly wasn't amused by the chaos.

Well, Marmalade had declared that it was anarchy now!

"Don't terrier yourself up about this. I'm pawsitive you can pun back. Though all this laughter is a nice jester from you."

Marmalade was on the ground, almost convulsing with laughter and she didn't even know Lamia could do that.

“Hey, hehehe,” Oozy was trying to talk through snorts of laughter, “Oh geez, pffft. Throw me a bone here! You’re doggone good at this, but I’m feline fine!”

“How did we get to cats and dogs? We’re snakes,” Nikolai said with amused befuddlement.

“Eh, she’s petter at some puns than me, but she’s not weaseling her way out of this so easily!”

Hux let out a muffled scream of, “I’M IN HELL.”

Trousle was trying to hide laughter behind an exasperated facepalm.

"Oooh, getting into a tearable pun territory now," she teased. "Well, I have a meowtain of puns. Dog puns are a bit ruff but I'm sure I can mange a few. Don't worry, you'll achieve grapeness if you wine a little."

The puns were all over the place and that was what had Marmalade on the ground, flailing around. Lapis never punned with Val like this and now that he knew she could they were all doomed. Just a little taste and Marmalade was unable to control himself. Lapis was sobbing now and showed no signs of stopping.

"look what you did!" Currant announced with a small screech of dismay.

"no grater way to go," Lapis wheezed.

“These puns are starting to get cheesy, but I’ll brie fine. Cheddar get ready, I can milk this for all it’s worth if ya let me have my curds ‘n way.” Oozy was NOT one to back down from a pun-off.

This was the most effort Nikolai had seen him put in in a while, so he wasn’t going to stop him…

Oozy kept going, “Cheese and crackers, sometimes I can go against the grain. Wheat’re ya gonna do plow?” He has no regrets. “I’ll keep punnin’ till the cows come home, no need to raise the afarm, but y’know, there’s a reason they call me - (snrk) - Corny.”

Oozy was good at this! Val had to pause for just a moment to try and think of a few things she could use. His means of punning was very one track, with a single vein that he went into and kept on, but she tended to like chaotic punnery instead.

A pun battle it would be, then.

"You've goat to wait for gouda puns. Don't pastaway on me now or we'll have a latte problems. Meow you've gone and bun it. Beating you at a pun battle won't be impastable for someone like me. Beclaws I've been practicing."

“I’d say it’s your mewve, but I’ll whisker ya away with these, and cat’s not all I have to say.

“Victory’s fleece-ing, but you can sheep well tonight. Cow about ya keep trying, or are ya chicken?

“‘Cause that won’t cut it. Not to hammer in the point, but I’ve nailed it. You saw it, right? I’ve got the tools to win.”

Val resisted her laughter for all of five seconds before she snorted. It was loud and hurt a little but it heralded the end of her pun game as she then descended into her hysterics. Keeping up with a Corny was difficult but her mind felt good from having to think up all those puns and her soul felt lighter. He'd been a perfect opponent to flex her punning muscle against.

"I don't think I can top that," she giggled, petting him with barely a twitch. "Probably a good thing too because I think Marmalade is having a fit."

Which was only partially true. Marmalade had exhausted himself and was flopped into a pile on the ground, twitching every time he snickered.

"that was a pawesome pun battle," Lapis declared from the phone. "Cornies win again."

Hux was still just screaming into the ground, muffled under a pile of Keith. Keith was coming down from his bout of hysterics (albeit as much from Hux's reaction as the puns themselves), and Oozy grinned. "That was great. Heh, haven't done that in a hot minute. You're dang good at this, y'know? Like, super good."

Hopefully, Hux would realize they weren't punning anymore and calm down. It had felt good to be able to sit back and dish out whatever randomness her brain conjured up, pun battle or not. Valerie was just happy to have not made a complete fool of herself. Shame no other Corny had joined in, it would likely have caused permanent mental damage to someone.

"So it's been a cold minute?" She couldn't prevent the question, grin turning smug once more. "Lapis has ruined my sense of humor for all eternity. Puns were one of those things I used to do without realizing but I notice them a lot now. And they're funny!"

"I think you mean he improved it, heh," Oozy said. "Man, that was great. Thanks, lil corny. Lil popcorn. Nah, popcorn's too energetic. You're a Kernal. Thanks, Kernal."

"Bet you wish you were that good at nicknames," Keith said to Nikolai.

"It was ONE time! And you know good and well what that Corny did with that lamp."

Hux huffed, finally calming, "What did I do to deserve this?"

"Many things," Trousle said. "You might be prickly, but you still deserve Keith’s cuddles!"

"... You can't pull that surprise sweet shit on me like that," Hux said, red-faced.

"I can. You cannot stop me."

"Nikolai, make him stooooop."

"No," Nikolai said, heading towards the door, "I should be getting back now, who knows what's gone on while I was gone. I don't know when you'll be leaving, Val, but if you can, try to wait until Piper wakes up so he knows what's going on and gets a chance to say goodbye. Thank you."

"Depends on who you ask, I guess." Clearly, Hux and Currant thought her sense of humor was ruined, although Currant changed his tune when she was telling him knock, knock jokes. "I'll never hear the end of it. He'll call himself that and Sangria will throw a fit until Lapis says he's waiting to pop into corn."

Which, again, was fair. But Sangria would be equal parts disgusted and horrified. They were lucky he hadn't heard their pun battle or she would never have been able to get away with leaving him out.

"nah, thank you buddy," Lapis said. "clearly I need to come along next time."

"clearly," Currant parroted, a pained look upon his face.

"Puh-lease," Val directed towards Hux. "It was obvious from the start you were secretly a huge softy beneath all the prickles. Just like a cactus."

It was, too. After a while, anyway.

"anarchy," was Marmalade's grave response to what had likely gone on in Nikolai's absence. "pure chaos."

"Oh yes, it was probably a Mamba apocalypse," Valerie agreed. "We'll stick around until Piper wakes up, let him say goodbye, and get numbers so you guys can talk to him until we come back around. I'll be making another donation to the center sometime in the next few weeks."

"I apologize for nothing," Oozy said with a shit-eating grin. "I look forward to seeing ya Kernal. We'll have a good slime. Hehehe."

"I'm glad I ain't the only sane one here. Other Coral. Help me!" He managed to wiggle an arm out, reaching for Currant. He was blushing more as he tried to ignore Val's assessment of him.

Nikolai let out a sigh that turned into a chuckle, "I shouldn't expect anything else. Oh well. I guess I'll go save the world." He went for the door, stopping long enough to say, "Thank you. We all appreciate it. I'm sure he'll be really happy with you." Then he left.

"as marmalade said, anarchy now," Lapis took great delight in repeating. "we'll have a whale of a good time."

Currant's initial assessment of Hux may not have been very nice but he did have some species pride. He huffed, as if aiding Hux was the greatest weight upon his shoulders, but reached out with his magic nonetheless. The fact that he had magic to spare was a matter of pride, his meals were so carefully planned out just for this reason. A crook of his fingers and he yanked Hux forward.

"Go save the day, Nikolai," Val said with a wave. "I'll try and make sure none of these hooligans get into trouble."

Hux whooped and stuck his tongue out at Keith as he managed his great escape… with aid. “Thanks, dude, owe us one.”

Nikolai chuckled, “I appreciate it. And good luck with that.”

Everyone waited for five seconds after he left. Then Oozy immediately said, “Alright, who wants to storm the coffee?”

“NO!” Hux snapped.

“Maaaaybe,” Keith drawled.

“Can I have some?” Trousle had a wide grin, bobbing back and forth in excitement.

“… what have I done,” Oozy said, staring down Trousle.

Now Val might have said she would watch the others but she doubted she'd be able to stop any shenanigans that might occur. Currant and Marmalade wouldn't join the chaos, she hoped, so it came down to watching all the others and making sure they didn't cause trouble. But of course Oozy would be the one that would have pranks on the mind, seeing as Cornies were agents of chaos.

"COFFEE?" She heard from the phone, a battle cry that sent her calm expression diving into horror. Sangria had a very distinct tone and he must have out zoomed Admiral to still be awake. The stamina of a Mamba was no joke. He didn't sound like he was as full of energy as usual but not tired either. "DO NOT GIVE COFFEE!"

"no roomie for the zoomie," Lapis announced sadly. "you're all in the city. too much could happen if ya give everyone coffee."

"like that would stop anyone," Currant huffed, cradling Piper against his chest and wondering how the kid could sleep through this.

"anarchy now," Marmalade agreed solemnly.

This did not discourage Oozy, "I'm gonna give 'em coffee. Just you wait! I'll do the Boston tea party, but in a krait pond with coffee! JUST TRY ME!"

Hux, trying to stop the apocalypse, pounced on Oozy, nose scrunched as he held the other down. "No. Nope. Nope nope nope nope."

"... ya have to get off eventually," Oozy said, not remotely struggling to get free.

"Bold of you to assume you can out-lazy me," Hux said.

Keith was laughing... and slithering off to grab some coffee.

Piper was stirring some now and then, making noises of displeasure at all the noise, but he'd been on and off zoomies for a few days without sleep. His body finally forced him...

Or tried to. "Coffee!" Piper yelled, demanding.

Oh no.

Secretly, or not so secretly, Val doubted Hux could out-lazy a Corny and that the apocalypse wouldn't be happening. She had resolved herself to witnessing the zooms that would be happening, feeling the looks of horror upon her for not stopping this. All she could hope is that it wouldn't be too bad.

And then she heard the little demand and all the terror crashed upon her shoulders. Currant was looking down in shock and Marmalade pressed his face into his coils.

"Oh no," Valerie whispered, scooping Piper up so she could pet him. Even if he wanted coffee she couldn't resist some cuddles from an adorable Pygmy. "I don't know if you'll like coffee, Piper. It's pretty bland."

Please let him be easily convinced by thinking coffee had to be served plain and nothing else.

"UNLESS YOU ADD SUGAR," Sangria muttered from the phone, drawing her stare. "ADMIRAL DRANK THE SWEET STUFF."

"Sangria," She whined but it was too late.

Oh no, indeed.

Keith has found a 12 pack of a certain type of cold-brew coffee in the fridge. He shook some of the snacks from the snack machine in trade, sticking a note on there that he regretted nothing.

Calmly, he went out and started distributing the contraband to Mambas and Pygmies.

“Nnnnn!!! But! Need zoom! Get to play outside but ‘m tired and ‘s not fair! Dun Wanna sleep…” He was getting fussy in the way an over-tired child does when they desperately want to keep having fun, little tears budding in his eyes and hiccuping. “Gimme zoom juice! Wanna play!”

Piper was hitting her right in the underdeveloped, curdled maternal instincts. He sounded like he was on the verge of a full-on tantrum and she didn't want him to get that upset over some coffee. It had been a while since she'd been around a fussy child that didn't make her want to run in the other direction.

It was an awful idea. She knew it was an awful idea. But Valerie couldn't deny Piper a little bit of fun before they left.

"OK," she took a deep breath. "You can have a small sip of zoom juice. Just a little bit. You can play but we do have to say goodbye. Sangria is waiting at home for you."

"INDEED," her large Mamba huffed. "IF YOU ZOOM NOW YOU'LL SLEEP ON THE DRIVE AND YOU CAN ZOOM AGAIN AT HOME."

Piper stared for a moment like he didn’t expect that to work. But once it processed that he had more playtime, he broke into giggles and a grin, trilling happily. “YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY! YA… Yawn AY!”

“Told ya you can’t stop me. I didn’t even have to escape,” Oozy said.

Hux had his jacket hood over his skull and was trying to melt into the ground to escape (ignoring that he could just, like… leave).

Outside, trouble was already brewing as the more energetic Lamia began to ZOOM! One mamba was trying to declare himself king of the entire world, hampered by the Pygmy who had decided to be a superhero all of the sudden and was playfully fighting him. A few bitty mamba were trying to tip over Val’s van (without success, thankfully). Nikolai was holding back swears as he tried to stop one mamba from starting a fire. A Pygmy had somehow trapped himself in a tire swing. It was chaos.

Keith was wondering when he should tell them it was decaf. Placebos are killer sometimes.

Some distant part of Val's brain thought she might have been played but she ignored it. Piper had no way of knowing of her soft spot for cute and small creatures, that the sight of tears would break down her walls faster than a wrecking ball. A sip of coffee wouldn't cause him any harm.

"You gonna come out with us, Hux?" She asked, looking at him from the corner of her eye. "Most of the humans should be gone now that the zoom is happening so you don't have to worry about getting adopted. Plus... won't it be funny to see Nikolai handle this?"

Currant huffed at the blatant manipulation but even he doubted Hux would go out to see what had been brought upon the park. He was keen on watching Piper but just keeping up with his excitement from earlier had tired Currant out and he would have preferred going back into the van to sleep.

"let's get the kid some coffee," Marmalade drawled, slithering out before stopping at the chaos.

"Oh my," was Val's faint response, eyes wide as she stared at the sight of the zoomies. It was frightening. She didn't even want to go out there. "I don't know if I'm scared or impressed..."

In his defense, Piper wasn’t TRYING to be manipulative, he was upset about it. But usually, when he’d get fussy about needing sleep, people took him to bed and tried harder to have him sleep. But now he’s happy! He gets more zoom!!!

Currant could try to sleep in the van, but there were even MORE bitty mamba trying to push it over, some of them pushing from inside. Even with their combined might, it wasn’t happening.

Nikolai had to hiss some very stern warnings at Liam to keep him from helping, all while holding onto a teenaged, full-sized Pygmy that was trying his best to wiggle free.

Keith was coiled up next to Maia, having told her his trick.

And Hux was willing to watch from afar, if only to see the madness.

This only got better/worse when some random dude decided to make an impromptu donation of three dozen beach balls, including two gigantic ones. No one could escape from the park-wide impromptu game of dodgeball… except the pygmies and mamba that were reenacting the boulder scene from Indiana Jones.

Valerie groaned at the hoard gathered around her van, hoping that nothing went missing from inside and holding Currant back from storming it and driving the hoard away. It was just lucky that no larger Mamba or Pygmy were attempting to join in.

"I'll let you go find some coffee to drink but please come back to me when you start getting tired," Valerie fussed, lowering Piper to the ground. "Make sure you tell everyone goodbye too. We'll come back to visit but ask for numbers and bring them to me to save."

She fussed over Piper for a little bit longer before she let him zip off to get himself some zoom juice. The grass was soft enough that she had no shame sitting down, cheek propped on her palm. Currant and Marmalade wrapped around her to keep away the worst of the shenanigans.

"At least everyone is having fun..."

Piper nodded and gave Val a little kiss on her hand before going off. Keith was kind/smart enough to give the kid some Mountain Dew: much better tasting, but with actual caffeine, even if not as much as coffee.

Once it hit his system, Piper started to ZOOM, alternating between playing and excitedly talking about his adoption, hugging all his little playmates, and bringing some over to meet Val, Marmalade, and Currant.

He was explaining to some of the mamba - who had given up tilting Val’s car and were now grumbling about it being full of bricks - that he was gonna go home in that car (while chasing a beach ball in circles) when a particularly young bitty mamba shot out and glomped him.

“NO! No you don’t! Mine!” The mamba screeched.

“But I leaving!”

“No! You stay here! I protect.” Cobalt the mamba pouted, holding Piper to his chest and wrapping around him protectively.

“Isssss ‘kay Cobalt! Val’s nice! And Curry loves! They not hurt me.”

“No no no no no! No! You stay! No leave! Is mine!”

“You gonna get a person too!”

“I wan’ YOU!” Cobalt had worked himself into tears, not wanting to let go of Piper…

Piper wasn’t sure how to handle it, “Sssshhh! Shhhh! No cry! No cry! Is ‘kay! You’re real good! They just jealous! ‘Cause pretty scales!” He was just mimicking some of what Cobalt had said to make him feel better.

“I pretty?” Cobalt said, sniffling. “I miss you…” He thought for a little bit, then went over to Val and slithered on her with Piper in tow, “We go now!”

Even though there were a lot of Lamia zipping and zooming, Valerie tried to keep her attention on Piper instead. He was a ball of energy, making her tired just watching but filling her chest with joy right along with that. She was introduced to so many Lamia that she had no hope of remembering all the names being tossed at her.

She didn't see what was going on but she heard the screeching, the absolute dismay in someone's little scream. Her soul throbbed with pain and she hoped someone would come along to offer assistance because there was no way Valerie would be able to crush someone's feelings. Marmalade tensed beside her, feeling the feedback of pain within his chest.

It was made even worse when the owner of the screech slithered onto her and she was torn by how small the Mamba was. He was the smallest bitty Lamia she had ever seen and there was the hint of tears upon his face that tore her up inside. The little guy had nothing on Sangria's iridescence, few did, but he was such a pretty color.

Valerie looked around, hoping for someone to offer assistance before she gave in and took him home too. Petting his little head as soon as he seemed to have settled.

"Oh, little dragon," she cooed at the Mamba. "What has you so upset?"

Maybe if she stalled...

"You can't have Piper! Is mine! He no go! I keep!" Cobalt hissed. He knew better than to bite, even in the midst of a tantrum, but he was tempted. But then Piper would probably cry...

"But I want go!" Piper said.

"No!" Cobalt said. He clung stubbornly to Piper. "I protect forever! Can't go..."

"You protect good! But I go now."

"Noooooo!" Cobalt sobbed.

Hux couldn't watch any more of this, slithering back inside. It'd been mostly fun watching the others cause chaos, but he knew all too well how Cobalt felt...

Thankfully, the freed Oozy came to the rescue... "Heya kid... why the long face?"

"Piper's LEAVING! But he can't!"

"Sure he can. Yer old enough now. Both of ya."

"But-But..." Cobalt sniffled, nuzzling Piper.

"It ain't like you'll never see him again," Oozy said. "I've had friends get adopted, but they still come back all the time. And I know Val's gonna keep in great touch. He can still call you."

"Not same..." Cobalt said, half holding and half leaning on Piper. "He's friend..."

"I know kiddo... I know. But hey, you'll get someone too one day, y'know?"

"You haven't," Cobalt said with a huff.

"I'm a high-maintenance Corny, you're an awesome little mamba. We're two different things entirely. You'll be loved."

"... I want Piper with me," Cobalt said. "You stay?"

Piper kissed Cobalt's cheek, "Love too! But I go. I come back! And bring toys!"

"Promise?"

"Mm-hmm!"

"And talk! Phone talk!"

"Yeah!"

Cobalt sniffled, holding Piper close. "... 'kay." He then looked at Val, little stare withering. "Take care! Be extra nice and give treats! Tell him he look good! If you be mean, I bite you!"

"She nice!" Piper insisted.

"Better be..."

Meanwhile, in the background, Nikolai let out a loud shout of, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT WAS DECAF?!"

She knew there was something wrong with her when she found the tantrum to be more adorable than anything. In typical Mamba fashion, his tantrum came down to someone taking what he viewed as his and a lot of yelling. Nikolai must have told them that biting was a very bad thing to do because he didn't try and take a chunk out of her in the midst of his ranting.

Oozy was a gift. Calming down the tantrum and saving her from giving in to the cuteness of the little Mamba's attitude. If he had been full-size she would have been more intimidated than she was but he was adorable before he was frightening.

"If I didn't have Sangria at home I'd take you too." Valerie couldn't hold the words back if she wanted to. "But I know a little dragon-like you will get a good home. Who wouldn't want such a pretty Mamba?"

Hopefully, the compliments helped because she would rather not get bitten.

"don' worry kid," Currant said, calling attention to his own warning stare. "val 'll take good care of piper. he'll have his own rock to bask on, his favorite candy, an' so many toys he'll be able to share with ya that all the other mamba 'll be jealous."

"not ta mention she might let piper bring ya sour candy jus' for you next time," Marmalade added. He heard Nikolai's shout and had a devious idea. "an' we can bring more coffee next time."

Cobalt sniffled again, but wiped his face and smiled up at her, "Yeah... 'M pretty cool! I gonna get good! Mm-hmm!" He giggled and nuzzled Piper. "You get good too. Deserve it. Miss you..."

"Miss you too. But is 'kay! I see again."

"Yes! And bring sour candies! And coffee!"

"Okay! We do!"

"Good!" Cobalt said. That said, he was still reluctant to go just yet... "We go play now."

"Okay!"

And they did! The two zoomed around the park together until Piper once more started losing the fight with sleep. Cobalt had to half-drag him back, and even then almost started crying again, but they said one see-you-later, and Piper curled up to sleep on the ride home...

And that Corny, who ate more sweets and has now conked out in the glove box, is apparently coming too.

Disaster averted, Val flopped back against Marmalade and Currant while Piper ran through his caffeine buzz with his friend. It was much better to see a happy Mamba than to see one that was likely contemplating biting. It likely wasn't long enough for the Mamba to come to terms with having to say goodbye but he did. Currant accepted Piper and they all wished everyone a good evening, saying their own see-you-laters.

"Everyone will sleep good tonight," Val mused, helping Currant into the front seat of the van so they could settle into the blankets. She searched around to make sure there weren't any stowaways and Marmalade assured her they'd all left. "We got a long drive ahead of us, I'll stop and get more snacks for the road."

She climbed into the drivers seat, feeling warm and good about how the day had gone. It was one of those perfect days where she made plenty of friends. Once at home she would put numbers into the phones and have Piper call so everyone would know he'd gotten there safe.

Marmalade picked a song for the start of the ride, Val singing along, and they began their journey home. Unaware of the hidden Corny in the glove box.

#zombie writes #lamiatale #roleplay #lapis #marmalade #piper #currant #sangria #admiral #lazuli #the asterisk mark changing writers #self insert

9 notes · View notes