#for himself i mean for the ravens it was the best thing that could've happened

[allpromarlo]

ravens 6-2 life is good

[sadtonight]

"Away, away my thoughts go"

Summary: getting lost in thoughts is nothing out of the ordinary for you: your mind slipping away from reality that is surrounding you while doing mundane things. It's best if he keeps you grounded, else you might fly away into the skies;

Characters: Riddle, Vil, Epel, Idia, Lilia;

Warnings: implications of unspecified mental illness, reader is gender neutral, established romantic relationships;

Side notes: another self indulgent one, I underestimated my capabilities a bit so the work came two days late ha ha. I've edited the notes for the third time and I don't know what to put here! Enjoy? Get better? It's not as bad as it might seem, try to fixate on the positive moments that are happening now instead the ones that occur in your head, my own advice.

Riddle

— honestly, Riddle did give you benefit of the doubt when you seemed a bit lost by assuming that you are just busy or still yet to get accustomed to Night Raven College. However he undeniably finds it mildly infuriating. Why are you not listening to him anymore? Just so you know, it's mannerless to lose focus in the middle of conversation! Your boyfriend can always come back to what he was talking about, but not all people are willing to do so. Riddle worries about your absentminded attitude, so he directly confronts you;

— at first he didn't sound all that receptive: Riddle, in his usual way, started from matter-of-fact speech only to drop it upon seeing your visibly getting distant, as if you were told off. The red haired boy signed and broke an eye contact he was maintaining so you wouldn't feel so tense and asked if anything was distracting you or if you needed his help. Despite not looking at your boyfriend's face anymore, you could tell that the last phrases sounded a bit stained. Riddle did care about your mental well-being, so instead off brushing it off you shared what you were comfortable with;

— Riddle could relate to your dissociation, but it gave him more anxiety than reassurance: he remembers his times back at home, locked in a room with complicated books pilling up from the floor to the ceiling, dreaming of eating sweets and playing outside with Chenya and Trey again, only to come back to reality and try to get rid of the pesky thoughts that got in the way of his studies. His heart aches when he thinks about negative experience that you could've gone through;

— the very next day, red haired has went straight to the library to get his hands on as much as textbooks as he could handle. Articles that described how to keep grounded were real life savers. Riddle used to do homework with you now and then, but this time it's a permanent activity, especially everything related to memorization and math. Your boyfriend knows he can be scary when he gets carried away with studies, meaning that you get special treatment from Riddle, him being more lax and also showing how proudly smiling and praising you when you succeed;

— something Riddle also took a great liking to is trying new different tea blands and sweets in the secluded area of the Heartslabyul maze garden. Red haired boy tells you to describe the taste, smell, texture and colours of the food. Riddle became generally more attentive of you, thinking about new positive memories he wanted to make with you so that you would spend more time with him instead of somewhere far away, in the back of your mind.

Vil

— the celebrity always had to keep himself together despite whatever challenges and whims life throws at him. And naturally, the beautiful male had not-so-beautiful things to share like any other human being and you were amongst the few people he could feel relaxed enough to tell you his worries. Although, recently your boyfriend had started to suspect that his dear lacks a healthy amount of concentration, and not only in regards him but the world around;

— so being a proper partner he has made up his mind to see what was the case: Vil summoned you to his room under the guise of trying out new beauty product that appeared on the market. The tall male sat you on the chair before the vanity while standing behind you, pretending to be busy, and begun talking about the product, gradually shifting to saying outright nonsense to see how would you react. And unfortunately you didn't show confusion or surprise: you only slightly nodded and hummed, signing that you were in fact hearing Vil, however not listening to what he was saying;

— all of the sudden you were snapped back to reality by your face being turned to the side to meet magnificent, amethyst eyes that had disappointment reflected from their owner. Vil expectantly made a remark that sounded more like a plea: did something bother you or did he need to work on your focusing;

— after being cornered like that, you had no choice but to confirm your boyfriend's suspicions. Now healthy amount of self introspection is always welcome but your introspection are borderline hurtful, that's what Vil believed anyways. Beautiful male would attempt to find the root of the problem as to why do you slip away, but if you wish to withhold that information he won't pry, although he hopes you can tell him one day;

— Vil decides to help you with concentration the very same day. One of the ways that helps him to keep himself grounded is by doing exercises or practising dance movements, meaning that you will start participate alongside. Not only will it better your blood circulation but also will help you train your muscle memory and attention to details. Additionally, it's a great way to organically include you into his busy lifestyle and equally great excuse to get to touch you a bit more than Vil usually is able to.

Epel

— the boy notices how forgetful you tend to be before getting into the relationship with him. But as time passed, Epel realised you also space out a lot whenever you two are hanging out. His first reaction was to find fault in himself: Epel didn't consider himself to be a capable man for you, but he was selfish enough to crave your love and affection. Could it be that, just maybe, you grew bored of petite boy or found someone better...?

— lavender haired sulks throughout the week, until one day during the lunch break worried Jack tells him to spill the beans. Following brief explanation, beastman suggested that instead of Epel being the problem you could have a lot on the plate, but not wanting to burden your boyfriend and deal on your own. This revelation sprung Epel into action, with him hastily excusing himself and getting from his seat rushing out of dinning hall, typing you to meet him;

— your boyfriend awkwardly stood before you, hands tangling behind his back, head hanging low: he was clearly debating on how to approach the issue, finally meeting your eyes with newfound confidence. Not without stumbling through the words, Epel questioned all sorts of things that could be the case for your dissociation. Since your boyfriend had caught on, you decided to let him on about your "habits";

—it's... hard for Epel to relate, however he tries his very best to do so. Even if his initial guesses turned out to be false, lavender haired boy still set his mind on working to better himself in the relationship department. It's okay, because you can rely on him: Epel will always remind you of everything you need to be reminded of! To eat drink or have a small snack (if you don't mind apples you are never out of apple based foods), to change clothes that correspond to current weather outside, to do your college assignments which he could hypothetically help you with or at least do them together, to take care of your appearance by supplying you with different beauty products from Vil etc;

— to keep you grounded, Epel often tells you about types and sorts of apples and gives you them to see, smell, touch and taste. After that, he asks you if you remember the names, the colours and tastes of each separate type. Your boyfriend lights up when you get the correct answers, not getting frustrated if you don't remember everything — the boy is very proud of you for making progress all the same.

Idia

— you both are not the chaty-est couple out there, which made it harder to spot if something was amiss with you. Idia actually became aware of the fact when you were playing video games together by observing how sometimes you would just stand in one place or stall in the inventory menu for a while;

— your boyfriend began wondering if you didn't like the games or found them unengaging, but soon he saw the same thing happening when you were watching movies or anime. Blue flamed male debated whether to do something or just leave you be, maybe that's just how you were. It didn't let Idia focus on his projects or hobbies and Ortho made it worse by listing problems you could potentially suffer from, trying to encourage his older brother to take action;

— ugh, it's really humiliating for Idia to confront you like that, what questions he should ask anyway? By pure miracle you somehow put together what Idia was trying to convey, so you let your boyfriend on what was the situation. After listening to you, he closed his eyes for a moment. Look, Idia gets you very well, maybe too well for his own liking. However, you have so much stuff awaiting you out there, unlike him who is stuck being the Shroud. To drag you down with him to the bottom of the underworld was never an option: you mustn't suffer like him nor you mustn't lock into your own mind;

— your boyfriend wants to support you as much as he can, though only as far as his comfort zone goes. Idia didn't need to go further than his own dorm thankfully, because one of the activities that helped ground himself were engineering. Cold metal tools, weird texture of materials, the smell of plastic etc. You don't necessarily need to be a pro or something —genius male won't make you do complicated stuff, it's not like there is some existing challenge. Due to aforementioned quality, your boyfriend can bite with words painfully at times so Ortho is there to defuse the situation;

— lanky male tries to be a bit more physical with you, like touching your shoulder when he sees you staring into nothingness or awkwardly sets his slander hand on your thigh when the two of you play video games. Idia is not all too pleased but if it helps you keep your mind here somehow....

Lilia

— hellooo, Twisted Wonderland to his distracted mortal beloved. Lilia can be extremely perspective when he wishes to be, and so prior to you getting together, while the bat had been courting you, he noticed how your mind could wander somewhere else. He understands: you also must have a long history just like Lilia. Sometimes he snapped you back to reality, sometimes he started to reminisce about his own past, saying sotto voce, vague remarks that you usually didn't catch on;

— but what worried your boyfriend was the fact that you were so young yet dwelled on whatever occupied your mind. You would occasionally skip meals and forget to bring textbooks, notes and stationary supplies to classes. Lilia had experienced the same, many times, but he has lived for decades and his memory gets blurry over time. You have to be pulled out of your daydreams or else the fae will lose you — like a candle, you will melt before his very eyes. Experiencing real life sensations what makes one feel alive, Lilia knows that personally, though he doubts you would appreciate real battles for life that he has been forced to go through frequently during his war general days;

— no matter the reason for your condition, Lilia won't pry into your personal life unless you tell him. That's why he never really had a talk with you, opting for leading you straight to the point. Playful old bat flicked his fingers before your face or scared you when slipped from the conversation, popped out of nowhere and dropped his oversized jacket onto your shoulders when it got colder and you forgot to bring something warm, pulled out your college utensils from thin air when you swore you lost them somewhere in your room-

— at any rate, Lilia became very clingy all of the sudden: now short male holds your hand or hangs on your arm all the time. You don't have a chance to get used to the weight pulling your arm because he specifically drags your limb differently every day. Another weird habit that Lilia took up was to constantly make stupid jokes. He doesn't stop at the unfunny ones, no, he continues until you smile or better yet — laugh. Your boyfriend wants you to come back to him, to where he could reach you and where he could bring you as much joy as he possibly could so you wouldn't escape to dreamlands again.

[ripspaghet]

bff | 06

↳ series m.list | 00 | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | ongoing

→ pairing: yoongi x reader

→ word count: 5,860

Prologue Summary; Your best friend's boyfriend takes an unhealthy interest in you and just as he shows up something from your past starts to creep up on you again. Could this strange and mysterious man have something to do with it? And should you trust him, or your instincts to run far, far away from him?

→ warnings: angst, swearing, cheating, self hate, trauma

Gone. Gone again. Anytime he feels he's gotten closer to unearthing the melody it slips from his fingertips, like water. It would all be so much easier if he didn't have this desire, this want. Every time it's silent he feels there's this void, something gaping within him, and life begins to feel dismal - yet, he still finds himself here, in this dark and desolate place that doesn't belong to him. A single red light aluminates in the darkness and he's left with no choice but to approach, shatter the glass, and enter. It isn't until screeching alarms pull in attention that he truly realizes that this place is not his own. Invaded. Breached. Ransacked. He's an unwelcome guest - although, these simple facts don't stop him. They pull him in, glass crunching beneath his shoes as he takes a seat. Fear and adrenaline suffocate the darkness looming around him, screaming that he is not wanted. He just needs to remember it. His fingers run along with the ivory keys, the smooth melody of the first five notes flowing into each other, only for an eerie pause of silence to follow. He lets his fingers slip from the keys. It's useless.

A soft echo of notes makes his eyes open.

He turns, looking for where the tune originated - but there's nothing, no one as far as the eye can see in this dense cloud of darkness. Nothing but the alarm filters through.

It's been exactly a day since it happened. The way your nerves are making your heart quake has, if nothing else, increased with time. You've been utterly restless - pacing around your dorm, spacing out while staring at the chipped paint of your white walls, and picking at hangnails excessively. You know you're going to have to face this. Otherwise, the rug will be pulled out from under you when you least expect it. It's safe to say you'd rather be the one pulling the rug, then be the one standing on it, waiting anxiously for your inevitable downfall.

You knock on the door about five times before it finally opens, making way to the threshold beyond it and a pair of pleasantly surprised eyes. Her gaze makes your stomach drop, so you opt for studying the interior details of her apartment. It's spacious and open, natural light pouring in from just about every nook and cranny. It suits her, she's never been one for reciting in the dark - despite her, more often than not, glaring gaze.

"____," She opens the door wider, "I didn't know you were coming, I would've made food if you called. Come in." You oblige, taking off your coat as you enter the apartment, the smell of scented candles, and floral encasing you in a spring time-capsule. You hang your coat on the rack next to the door. "It's been so stressful since the new semester started, we've barely had any time to hang out." You follow her into the kitchen after removing your shoes. "Work has been crazy too, you remember that kid that kept coming in and ripping the flowers off their stems?" She circles the center bar, making her way to the fridge and pulling out a pitcher of what you presume to be tea as she pours it into a glass, "Well, the manager refuses to ban him. He blames me for allowing the kid to destroy our merchandise." She slides the glass to you, "You prefer it cold, right?" She sighs, "That manager, such a prick. I'm really considering quitting if this keeps up." Remaining silent you watch as she fiddles with her own glass as she rambles, "I didn't mean to neglect our friendship or anything. It's just between all this and...Yoongi," Your stomach drops and your ears go fuzzy. You don't hear much of what she says, swearing you're about to barf up the chicken you'd had for lunch not all that long ago. Her voice lowers as if she's afraid someone might be listening in, "He's being so strange, showed up h-"

"Mina, I need to talk to you about something." You don't dare meet her eyes, you keep them downcast on the dewdrops of condensation rising on the glass of your untouched drink. She falls silent, the air around you becoming heavy. With a sigh, you take a seat at the bar but still neglect to touch the tea in front of you. Mina moves to take the seat next to you, still silent, observing your exhausted expression. "Listen, about Yoongi - I don't really know how to say this, so, I'll just say it. He k-"

You're startled into a flinch as fumbling footsteps followed by a loud crash of glass and fuck knows what else, cuts you off. As you turn your head, a lanky body stumbles out of the hallway into the kitchen, their back to you and Mina as a harsh swear makes your breath hitch. Dirt and glass is now spread out across the marble floor in a messy display and Mina moves quickly while you remain in your seat, watching as she rushes with worried words, "Are you okay? Did you cut yourself?" 

As if you hadn't already realized, your eyes nearly bulge out of your head, heart slamming up into your throat as his dark hair falls over his brows and shifts ever so slightly with the tilt of his head, "I'm fine, " His dark eyes never leave you as Mina scans him for injuries, "your plant, not so much."

"I'll get the broom." Mina saunters off, leaving you alone with the source of your guilty conscience - you're dripping with it, a metaphorical layer of sweat against your skin that's almost suffocating.

"____-"

"Don't."

"Got it! Yoongi, hold this for me."

His mouth is quick to clamp shut as he takes the dustpan that's shoved into his chest, his eyes darting away from you, "Yeah, sure."

Mina works quickly as always, swiping the dark potting soil up into the yellow pan that Yoongi holds steady. Nervously, you shift your gaze away from the two and pick up your tea to take a large gulp.

This is going up in flames. How are you supposed to tell her with him here? You don't want to be- No, you shouldn't be caught up in this. You should have never let it happen…

"There," Mina's voice pulls your attention back up, "I'll-"

"No, I've got it." His hand lightly brushes her wrist before he turns to dispose of the dirt. The gesture is small enough to convince you that neither of them really noticed it - just a natural loving touch, nothing unusual - though, it's enough to make you look away again.

"____? Are you alright?"

Your breath hitches and you have to force the hard expression on your face to loosen, "I'm f-fine." They are together, happy, maybe even in love. He hasn't said a word to her about any of it, yet, he wasn't alone in the act. You could've stopped him. You could've pushed him away, should've told him no. She's your best friend and you let him-

"What was it you were saying? Something about Yoon-"

"Nothing," You force a big smile, "I think I was just a bit worried about you. As you said, we haven't made time for each other lately."

"Oh, " Her lips purse, "we should make time for each other soon then."

How selfish are you? Never in your life have you thought of yourself as a horrible person. But now? Your skin is crawling with self-loathe. Every time you meet Mina's gaze your stomach drops - not because of what happened, but because of how it made you feel. The images that run rampant in your head shouldn't be there. It's all the worse that there was no lust driving your actions - there was a deep-rooted desire, an intoxicating burning beneath your skin that makes you dizzy just thinking about it. A passionate fire had dwindled to life beneath your ribcage. It should make you sick. You should be repulsed at the mere thought. "I should get going now. I don't want to intrude on your couple time. I'll see you in class."

"You don't-"

"Call or text if you need me."

The hallway is clustered with people, bumping shoulders with you as you drag yourself along. Maybe it's best you act like it never happened, that Mina remains happy and not miserable knowing the man she is in love with kissed her best friend...and that her best friend allowed it - kissed him back even. And maybe you deserve this dreadful feeling that's swelling inside, growing larger day by lousy day.

You stop abruptly, a student behind you swearing at you for making them walk around. You don't know why you've stopped, don't know what urges you to turn your head but, never the less, you do. You blink at the letters next to the door. Shifting your weight from one foot to the other, you peek through the small door window. It's tantalizing, filling you with more anger than any remorse. You let this thing, this object, control you. Your every move and action revolves around running from it and for what?

Before you can convince yourself otherwise you're yanking the door open and marching in, heading straight for the ivory keys sat on the opposite side of the music room. How could you be afraid of something so ridiculous? It's pathetic. You plop down on the bench, eyes set to kill as your fingers naturally fall into the correct posture. And with a soft and steady exhale of air, your fingers slowly ignite, brushing along the keys with a fevered nostalgia.

'Prélude no.25 in C sharp minor, Op.45', a piece you once knew like the back of your hand. The memories of it still linger fresh in your mind, so much so that your hands could flow with the smoothness of the lilting notes even in your sleep. Your turmoil seems to whip and lash at your fingertips like a ravenous animal as the song crescendos, the tempo increasing with veracity and then it cuts through you, a sharp pain traveling up your right wrist and you yank your hands away. The room falls silent, nothing but the sounds of birds chirping outside and the wind whistling. Your eyes sting with unshed tears and you can't help but slam your foot into the floor out of frustration.

"____?"

Your breath catches in your throat, fear falling in the pit of your stomach as you turn your head.

"What are you doing in here?"

The sight of Jimin's blonde hair and worried eyes only calms you a little. You'd worried that maybe someone else had found you here, but it being him wasn't exactly any better. "I just-" You turn to look back down at the piano, your brows knit together, "I don't know."

"Come on," Jimin is quick to make his way over to you, yet you don't turn back to face him - even when he wraps his hand around your wrist and gently pulls it up to inspect, "you shouldn't do this to yourself." You turn slowly, reluctant to face anyone at such a vulnerable moment, but you manage to frown at him as the pad of his thumb traces soothing patterns into your skin. His hair is swept neatly across his forehead, a soft smile plays on his lips that doesn't meet his eyes, "Does it still hurt?"

"It hurts every day, Jimin." You turn away, "You know that."

"You're strong ____."

You flinch, not expecting him to say that, of all things.

"After everything that's happened, I've never known you to give up. So, stop putting yourself down." He pauses, coming to sit beside you but never letting your wrist go, "I know you can't play anymore, but your talent doesn't just exist within a piano. It's a lot more than that." Still refusing to meet his gaze, you begin picking at a hangnail, "Here," He lets your hand go and you briefly glance over to see what he's doing just as he holds a small yellow sucker out to you, "it's lemon flavored."

You glance down at the thing held up to your face, "Why-"

"You like lemonade, right?" He smiles, eyes twinkling, "Hurry and take it, we have to get to class before you're late again."

You snatch the candy from him, sniffling in annoyance, "What am I? A five-year-old?"

"You don't have to be a child to enjoy the sweeter things in life."

You abruptly plop down into your chair between Mina and Jimin, exhaling dramatically as you do. If only it'd all been a dream and you could just forget it. How many times have you thought that now? Were you in the Hundreds now? Thousands?

"Everything alright?"

Like clockwork, you sputter nervously under Mina's gaze, "Ah, yeah, just tired. Must be insomnia or something."

"Insomnia?" Jimin raises an eyebrow and tilts his head to look at you, "Do you have that?"

"Yes? No? Maybe? I'm not a doctor. Where is the professor?" Both of them turn their attention to the front of the class, seemingly not taking notice of your jumpy behavior. Though, you're sure Jimin did. He just knew when it was time to leave you be.

"Oh, that, " Mina nibbles on her bottom lip to keep herself from smiling, "Professor Lee caught some nasty bug over the weekend."

"I fail to see why that would make you smile like a little school girl that just wet herself."

She scowls at Jimin, "The professor asked a former student of his to teach the class until he returns."

What?

"Oh, wow, so Loverboy is subbing just so he can stare at your toxic face all day? I don't buy it. He must be into guys."

"Excuse me?"

You think you're about to vomit up your breakfast.

"He finds me cute and couldn't get enough."

"He absolutely does not!"

Please, for the love of all that's good in this world.

"Told me himself."

"Stop making shit up, Park!"

"As soon as you stop buzzing in my ear, you fly."

"I am not a fly! You-"

The classroom door slams and you jump in your seat, making both Jimin and Mina turn to you questioningly as you squeeze your eyes shut in denial. Slow footsteps make their way to the front of the lecture hall and the echo of them makes you cringe.

There is absolutely no way the universe hates you enough to-

"Hello, my name is Min Yoongi, a music producer and a former student of Professor Lee's. Unfortunately, the Professor is bedridden and has asked me to substitute for the time being, let's get along well."

Never mind, the universe doesn't hate you - it loathes you. You'd think that after everything you'd have no trouble avoiding him. Hell, you thought that he'd do the same, but you suppose Min Yoongi isn't going to be giving you any breaks anytime soon.

You let your head fall from your hands and slam into the desk beneath you with a concerningly loud thud.

"Woah, are you alright?" Jimin places a hand on your shoulder and you miserably slug away from him.

"Don't touch me."

The class drags on like a snail and you've sat here long enough to, staring at a head of dark hair, try to hex the man it belongs to about a thousand times - give or take. You've yet to see a beehive fall from the ceiling and send him running home though.

When the bell finally does ring you're not even granted the semblance of running out yourself as Mina cuts you off, "I'm having my birthday party early this year."

"Oh, really? When is it?" You keep your head down as the two of you mosey along, closer and closer to the front of the classroom.

"Tomorrow at my place."

You nod, more focused on escape than anything else.

"It was going to be on my birthday week, but Yoongi and I made plans together for the day of my birthday. We're going to-"

"That's great Mina. I'm sure the two of you will have a great time together." You force a smile as if your life depends on it, "Say, what time is the party?"

"Oh," Mina laughs with realization as you inwardly sigh with relief at the welcomed change of subject, "it's at eight."

"Great."

Mina bounces over to the exit with excitement, "You'll be there?"

"Of course." You force another smile as you follow after her.

Almost there, almost home free.

"Great, I'll see you then."

You nod again at the threshold, watching as Mina waves back to you.

"____, I need to speak with you."

You freeze, a deadly chill rushing down your spine. "No, thanks." You wave behind you, not turning back as you continue with your escape.

"It's about your test."

You freeze again, your eye twitching at your lack of luck today, "I'm in a real rush, I can't-"

"Come here, now."

Fuck the universe, that vindictive bitch. 

Reluctantly, you turn and make your way back towards the center of the desk you had passed by with ease not all that long ago, "You failed your last test. Professor Lee informed me that you need to retake it, or you'll fail this class."

You keep your eyes directed on the wall behind him, not once sparing him a proper glance, "Okay, I'll find a tutor and-"

"There's no available tutors, because it's exam season. I told Professor Lee I'd handle this, so I'll be teaching you."

Your eyes are quick to dart to his now, "No!"

His fingers tap against the desk and they draw your attention as his eyes narrow in on you, "This has nothing to do with-" He pauses, letting out a steady breath of air and you lift your gaze back to his. Rather than being irritated or annoyed, as you expect, your surprised to find that he looks super uncomfortable, maybe even anxious, "our relationship outside of this room. And might I remind you that this test is half this semester's grade. You'll only fail again without proper help." You grit your teeth, holding back your protests. You hate to admit this, but he's right - again. "Starting next week come here after you've finished all your classes. I will be in the office grading papers. And-" He slides something across the desk to you, "your laptop, you left it."

You grab your laptop quickly before turning to leave, all the while not uttering another word to Yoongi.

The bathroom mirror is fogged over completely - except for a small spot that you've whipped at in order to dab foundation onto your neck, thoroughly painting over the purple and yellow discoloration on your skin. You juggle with your phone in your other hand, holding it to your ear, "I just- hear me out?"

"Why should I? I don't like her, so the answer is no. End of conversation."

"Please? I don't want to go alone."

"Why not? It's not like it's going to be a fun party. Doubt there will even be alcohol."

"You-"

"Get out of here already!"

"Shit," You begin shoving your makeup back into your bag, fumbling with your phone in the process.

"Listen, I know you've been having a hard time lately but there's no way in hell I'm-"

"Fine! Don't go! It's not like I need you there or anything!" You slam the bathroom door shut behide you, sure to piss off your roommate, who is washing shampoo from her hair.

"Don't be like that, ____. You know she wouldn't even want me-" Throwing your bag over your shoulder you pull the phone away from your ear and hang up. After all the things Jimin has put you through, he can't even do you the smallest of favors. You stomp over to your dorm room door, storming out into the hallway, and down the stairs. You shove the glass door to your complex open, letting the cold wind blow tangles into your freshly brushed hair as you stride toward the Lift driver that's been waiting for you at the curb for the past thirty minutes. Under normal circumstances, you'd apologize to the driver for making them wait, but as you've established, time and time again, these are not normal circumstances. As you buckle your seat belt the driver takes off, drifting at about thirty on the speedometer.

A heavy sigh falls off your lips and you lean your head against the window as the first ticks of rain make contact with the transparent glass. Your phone buzzes in your lap and you glance down at it. You half expected it to be a text from Jimin, although the notification is from an unknown number.

Message from Unknown Number-8:32pm: Let me make up for lost time. Please, answer your phone.

You begin typing only to be cut off by another buzz.

Message from Unknown Number-8:33pm: Don't try telling me I've got the wrong number. Jimin gave it to me.

You scowl down at the small screen before abruptly turning off your phone. You curse Jimin as you shove the phone into your bag.

"Thought you said you weren't going to come."

He fiddles with the ends of his hair, all the while avoiding your gaze, "Well, Jungkook agreed to come along so-"

"You can be a real jerk sometimes, you know that?"

Sighing, Jimin leans against his younger friend, but Jungkook's attention seems to lie elsewhere as he completely ignores the two of you, "You know how I feel about Mina."

"Yeah," You turn to see what's got Jungkook so preoccupied, "and you know how I feel about parties." Across the room you spot Mina and Yoongi. The two are conversing rather aggressively and you inhale sharply, barely managing to remind yourself that it's normal for Mina to blow things out of proportion and it's probably nothing. You don't need to worry. You force your attention back to Jimin.

"I have no idea how you feel about anything nowadays. You're-"

"I swear I'm never doing anything for that she-devil again."

You turn to see a rather annoyed Seokjin now standing behind Jungkook, with a large birthday cake in hand. 

Raising an eyebrow, you tilt your head, "What are you doing here?"

He looks away from Jungkook, who is now laughing at his elder's misfortune, "I was conned."

"Ah," You nod and point at the cake, "she made you bake that?"

Jimin shakes his head, "What a shame you let her walk all over you."

"Yeah," Seokjin rolls his eyes before glaring over in Mina's direction, "it's too quiet in here. I'm going to start some music."

You watch Seokjin make his way over to a speaker and then leave for the kitchen. The smell of birthday cake tickles your nose now as the sound of soft pop music lulls the small crowd of people in the apartment space.

"God, this is boring."

"Beyond boring."

Those two seem to be unable to keep their moping to themselves since you arrived, although you haven't paid them all that much attention. You're more concerned with how you're going to avoid eating cake later on. You hate overly sweet things with a passion and Mina's cake is sure to taste like a sugar rush.

"We should liven it up a bit."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

"How about it ____?" You drag your gaze away from a frowning Mina to glance over at Jimin, who's holding a plate full of crumbs that were previously covered in chips. Jungkook stands next to him, bordly munching on some handmade snack you couldn't remember the name of. The two of them refused to stay anywhere that wasn't right beside the snack table. You guessed since there wasn't any alcohol, they were making do with what's available.

"Can you two behave until the candles are blown out? I don't wanna hear Mina yelling until I've already told her my excuse to leave."

Jungkook nods, "Understandable,"

"I suppose I'll wait."

You just want to go home and get some more sleep, you couldn't care less what these two goons had up their sleeves. Yes, you want Mina to have a good birthday, but you can only maintain your act for so long while around her. Faking isn't your strong suit.

"Oh, God,"

"Wha-Oh,"

You glance back over at the two of them to see that they're staring across the room. Jimin is frowning, while Jungkook looks as if his whole life is flashing before his eyes. You turn to see what it is, only to find yourself wishing you never did.

"____! There you are! You sly fox, you. I've been looking for you everywhere."

Your stomach drops, "Who told him?"

Jimin scowls as his friend makes his way over to you, "It definitely wasn't me."

"Sorry, ____. He promised me he wouldn't come if I told him." Jungkook scoots away from you out of fear of your wrath.

The guy approaching you is quick to move to your side, placing an arm around your waist. You're sure to send Jungkook the deadliest of glares that has him cowering behind a now, rather aggravated Jimin.

"Tae, what are you doing here?" You almost choke as you force a smile onto your face.

He pulls you closer to him, a smirk playing on his lips, "I heard from a little birdy that you'd be here." 

As a strong urge to knee Jungkook in the crouch starts to settle in, you grit your teeth, forcing yourself to bear it and not cause a scene.

"Yah, Taehyung, who do you think you are, clinging to my best friend like that?" Jimin's brows have shot up in question as he stares Taehyung down with accusing eyes.

His arm doesn't leave you, though you can feel him stiffen under Jimin's intimidating gaze, "I-"

"If you want your dick sucked find some other girl to do it."

Taehyung frowns, "Jimin, I'm not-"

"Taehyung, " You pat his shoulder, gaining the attention of all three boys' in the process, "how about you go get me a drink from the kitchen?"

He looks back and forth between you and Jimin, slightly suspicious before nodding, and heading off.

Jimin scoffs, "The nerve of him."

"I'm going to get some fresh air. Tell him I went to the restroom or something. Also, try to keep from fighting. Like I said earlier-"

"Yeah, yeah, you don't want to ruin Mina's birthday party. Blah, blah, blah."

"Jimin," You glare, "I'm serious."

"Alright, " He groans, rolling his eyes, "I'll stop. Just go before that horny baboon gets back and tries humping your leg."

You roll your eyes but nod never the less. Jungkook whispers another sorry to you as you walk past them towards the apartment door. You only wave him off, not caring enough to bother with his inability to keep a secret. You're too tired and honestly just wish you could go home. You mean, you could go home with the excuse of, "I started feeling sick." Which wouldn't be a complete lie - thanks to Taehyung. You know Mina wouldn't fall for it though.

Luckily, her apartment is on the bottom floor and it doesn't take you long to make your way outside. The warmth from the building's heater almost seems to melt off your skin in the chilled air. It's only around dinner time, but you suspect the sun has begun to set behind the rain clouds, due to the darkness that has started settling over the city. Your steps are small as you watch your breath puff out into a cold cloud passed your chapped lips. Fiddling with the sucker that still rests in your pocket, you shut your eyes and listen to the downpour that assaults the sidewalk. You hadn't planned on being so weak, so vulnerable. After all these years you'd hoped that maybe you would've grown stronger by now - but you feel weaker than ever.

An exaggerated sigh startles you and your eyes snap open. 

His back is to you as rain showers down onto the awning above, black shoes resting in a puddle on the curb of the street as he stares at cars zipping by. You've never noticed before, but the rainy weather compliments his skin. You find your eyes lingering on the pads of his fingers and the blue veins below red knuckles - a perfect contrast of colors. Really, you know better than to approach him. You know better than to go anywhere near him - but, knowing better doesn't stop you from making your way over to him with a misplaced sense of determination as he reaches into his pocket, nor does it keep you from plopping down next to him as he places the retrieved object between his velvety lips.

He pauses his actions to glance over at you curiously. You frown at him before reaching up and plucking the purple lighter from his left hand, "What are you-"

You shove the lighter into your pocket, exchanging it with your sucker. You know you'll never eat it, might as well put it to good use. You hold it out to him, "You should replace bad habits with healthy habits."

He turns away with a scoff, nibbling on his lower lip - an obvious attempt to keep himself from smiling, "That isn't particularly healthy."

You glance at the sucker, "No, but it's better than what you had before." Nudging the candy into his now empty hand you purse your lips.

Reluctantly, he takes the cigarette away from his mouth and slides it back into its pack, "So, you're talking to me again?"

"No," You stare at him as his long fingers unwrap the yellow sucker and plop it into his mouth.

"Then what do you call this?"

You look away, opting to stare at the wet asphalt and listen to the constant pitter-patter of the rain, "Why were you and Mina fighting?"

Silence falls over the two of you for a moment before he sighs and rolls the stick of the sucker along his tongue, "She wants me here while I need to be elsewhere."

"It's her birthday party."

"Yeah," He snaps, eye sharpening as they flicker over to you, "I told her a month before she planned it what days I'd have work. She did this on purpose."

"Why would she-"

"Because she thinks I'm cheating on her with my coworker." The words are spat bitterly, the sound of the sucker cracking between the tension of his teeth. Your lips clamp shut and you look away from him. Why are you getting involved? You're only making things messier for yourself. "She's not all that wrong, though. I guess I deserve this."

Your head whips back over, "W-what? Are you cheating with a coworker?"

He turns to look at you, brows furrowed, "What? No, I-" He pauses then shakes his head, deciding against it and laughs, "Why are you here ____?"

You glance around, "I-Uh-Mina said I had to come and I-"

His head tips forward, dark hair falling over his lashes, "No, why are you here, with me."

"Oh," You watch the rain as it begins to slow, "I'm not sure."

"Thought you hated me."

"I should." You grit your teeth in annoyance.

"But you don't." Rather than it being a question, it's more of a statement, as if he already knows exactly how you feel.

You don't say a word, you just blink over at his side profile, heart thudding against your ribcage.

He sighs, turning to look at you, "You and I, I know it isn't good. I know I should stay away from you and you do the same to me...but," His dark eyes trace your features, as if trying to memorize them, "I don't think-"

"Jimin! You asshole! Get out! You were never invited for this exact reason!" 

You both turn to see Jimin stumbling out of the apartment complex, Mina hot on his heels, "It's not my fault your party was boring!"

Shit.

"Shut up!" She lands a solid slap that echoes off the back of Jimin's neck and through the rainy streets.

"Fuck! Jungkook! Do something she's touched me! I'm infected!"

Jungkook isn't far behind the pair, seeing as a second later he's the next person to rush out onto the sidewalk. Mina shoves Jimin's chest and he barks with laughter as he stumbles back, "Are you a child?!"

"Sure, if that's what you want me to be."

"Jimin, come on, stop. ____ said to-"

"____ said what?! Is she the one who brought you?!"

Shit.

"What? No, I-"

Next to burst through the door is Taehyung, who is quick to step in between Mina and Jimin, "Really sorry about all this Mina. I'll escort Jimin home."

"You?!" Jimin laughs dryly, "Why? So you can have another go at ____?"

Taehyung's brows crease as he opens his mouth to speak, but when he glances over to see you sitting on the curb he shifts gears, "____! There you are!"

Fuck.

All of their heads turn to you, Jimin raising an eyebrow, Jungkook looking confused, and Mina narrowing her eyes at you as she assesses the fact that her boyfriend is sitting next to you.

"The fuck are you doing out here?" You can tell that her question is directed at Yoongi, only by the small shift of her eyes. Yoongi simply shakes his head and turns away to watch the cars again. 

Somewhere in all the commotion, Taehyung had made his way over to you, seeing as when he plops down next to you and snakes an arm around your waist you flinch, "Is this where you've been hiding?"

"For the love of God, Taehyung, if you don't-"

Jimin is cut off when Yoongi stands up, pulling you with him by the wrist, and glaring at Taehyung in such a way that he freezes on the curb - hands kept to himself. You fidget at the feeling of Yoongi's cold fingers wrapped around your wrist, holding your breath.  The group turns dead silent before you eventually pull away from Yoongi, taking your wrist back, "Taehyung, please take Jimin home."

"What?!" Jimin squawks at you, "You said you needed me-"

"And I should've just asked Jungkook instead." You're quick to cut Jimin off, glaring at him as if he'd just stepped on your toe.

"I can't believe this. I literally-"

"Aw, poor Park. First time getting dumped on a sidewalk?"

"Shut up!" The snarl takes all of you by surprise, even Mina takes a step back, mouth clamping shut.

"Jimin,"

Jimin's eyes shift back to you, flickering over to Taehyung, then Yoongi before settling back on you, "Are you going to tell me what's going on with you?"

"What's going on with me?" You scoff, "You're joking, right?"

"Well, other than the usual shit show you have going on." His words are harsh and they catch all of you off guard for a second time. Jimin tends to be blunt when he needs to be, yes, but never harsh, "I'm fed up, ____. You won't talk to me. You're just bottling it all up. You can't expect anything the change if you-"

"You're the one who gave Hoseok my number!"

.

.

.

a/n: sorry it took me so long to post and that this is kinda filler🙇‍♀️ but it's the start of some character development and the conflict is raising so it's about get crazy real soon👀😳

@team-work-made-the-dream-work @seokchella @crackhead1-800 @chogiyeol-utopia @thatchampagnebitch @jeonchan26  @loveyoongles @ghoularaki @team-wang-puppy

To be tagged send an ask 🍬🚬

[aestheticsuwu]

🛋 I Wish I Didn't Care All The Time 🛋

F.W.B AU! Klarker

Clark Barker x Jack Kline

.... ..... ..... ..... ..

Many people have many opinions on F.W.B , but one opinion that is mainly seen and heard is that at the end it tends to blow up at your face .

Jack wasn't one to get involve into some shit that he will regret . On the other hand , his best friend Clark has done some shit that have gotten both of them in trouble .

Keep in mind half the time Jack wouldn't be involved and he somehow get caught red handed . He blames it all on Clark , well that's his excuse cause he doesn't want to get the wrath of his parents .

Sure he can ignore the raven man and hang with his other friends and live a simple , relaxing life . The problem is that Jack doesn't quite have other friends . He just has his older sister Claire . And her friends only talk to him out of pity .

He met Clark in high school when the guy tried to convince him to do the class project all by himself . From then on they sorta clicked , they were inseparable.  Many people thought they were dating .

He wasn't blind , his friend was attractive and by all the times Clark had told him he was hot . He could see why people thought that they were a couple , the latter was quite touchy .

And it wasn't like it never crossed his mind , but the thing was Clark is basically fuck boy . He doesn't do relationships , the only thing he can commit is to drugs,  food , and music .

On the other hand he didn't have a problem with commitment issues , but all his relationships just never seem to work out . The problem mainly being Clark , that's what his exes would tell him .

" Fuck them , they dont know what their missing out , And being honest she was annoying . " 

That was always his response , pointing out what he didn't like about the person .

" you don't like no one " it was like a relative

thing . He wasn't lying when he mentioned about his failed attempt at love .

" I like you , don't I " Rolling his eyes , as the raven haired holds him close . All he can do is take in the somehow soothing smell of cigarettes and cologne .

.....

Being in college is frustrating , mainly being filled overload with homework , essays , projects , and you can't forget anxiety . Jack was just overwhelmed , he just wanted to go home to his dad's and listen to them bicker . Have a fight with Claire about anything , help his father with his garden and watch the bees .

He wants to spend time with his uncle Sam maybe playing football , even he's terribly bad at it . Laugh with his aunt Eileen,  when Sam and Dean get competitive over who's actually winning .  he just wants to be with his family .

Thank God break is coming soon , if not he would've exploded . When he mentions it to Clark,  he just say he's probably frustrated because  he hasn't gotten any action . He usually just throws his pillow at him .

..... ...... .....

It wasn't the first time he seen his friend drunk , it was after all was a constant thing he would do . Watching as his friend struggle to take of his jacket and stumbling to go lay down , it wasn't no surprise when he had fell down . He also couldn't help but laugh along with Clark.

" seems like you had a fun night , here let me help you " Helping him stand up , he starts to remove his jacket .

" Fuck yeah I did , you should've have gone . You could've released some of your pent up frustration . "  Clark spoke as he looked at the blonde .

" can you not , just be glad you did . God you reek of ciggaretes . I don't know when your gonna learn when to stop smoking .

Hold on I'm gonna help you change , please try not to fall . "

removing the other boy shirt , he walks to the drawer taking out what he needs . returning to the now slighty naked drunk .

" I missed you "

" i missed you too . you should lay down.  " turning around to lay down , he was stopped .

" can you lay with me tonight . please . "

 Clark asked still holding on to his wrist . as they both layed down , he didn't know why his heart was beating so fast . Maybe it was the way his friend was looking at him or how all he can think of how was to kiss him . But there was that warning bell

going off his mind warning him to not cross the line . but by the time he was gonna acknowledge it , Clark had started kissing him .

He wasn't the one to be blamed , if you were being kissed by the same person who was incredibly a good kisser you would also ignore all the warning signs .

His lips tasted like beer and cigarettes.  Clothes were thrown across the room . Darker hands roamed gently across soft pale skin , Holding him down firmly . As he racked his nails down the ravens back from the pleasure he was receiving.  And he should've known everything wouldn't be the same after that night .

.... .... ....

The morning after , Jack got his ass up from the bed and quickly left as he could . Scared he had to face him . cursing himself for being so weak , he shouldve have stopped . He knew he should go back to his dorm and got talk to Clark,  but it didn't mean he couldn't avoid it for a few more hours .

walking in the dorm , he expected to see the latter in the room but he was nowhere to be seen . So he sat down and waited . minutes after minutes then  turned to hours . Might as well get started with his paper that was due this week .

It was dark when he heard the door open . looking up from his computer , watching as Clark walk in . Obviously ignoring him , he went straight to bathroom . They didn't spoke at all , just Jack watching him change . but he didn't once look at him .

Right he was about to step out , he just quickly spoke and left .

" I'm going out , don't wait up "

The silence didn't quite helped him feel better .It made him feel like shit , it just made it worse when he started to cry .

.... .... ....

All he can see was darkness , he kept glancing at the clock . The time was just there mocking him as if it knew he was waiting for someone that might not come . checking again it was still 2 : 00 AM like it was two seconds ago .So he just turned on the lights .

Coming to the conclusion that the raven haired  was probably in someone else's bed . He gets out of bed  to turn off the lights , the door opens .

" your awake , I thought you were asleep already ."  a surprised look coming across his face .

" I was going to , I was just ......... " silence overtook the conversation .  they just standed for a good minute until Clark spoke but didn't even look at his direction .

" alright . night . "

Shame crept up in his skin , he knew he should've kept his mouth shut . but the words just tumbled out his mouth .

" you had fun ? I mean by looks of it . "

finishing getting undress , he responds by shrugging . not being able to stand the cold shoulder , he tries again but unfortunately that's when his tears started to come in .

"  Jack ,  are you crying ? "

startled by the voice , he looks up. He didn't even notice when his friend came closer.  He latches on to the older boy ,not wanting the other to leave him . feeling Clark hold him tight and giving him a kiss on his temple made him calm down .

Later that night they talked and both agreed it was an  amazing beautiful mistake but both knew it would affect their friendship . So they agreed to move on , keep going with their life's. 

Unfortunately , Clark haven't been able to sleep with anyone else after night. It seemed nobody was good enough for him . It just seemed pointless , and he doesn't want to remember when he try to have sex but he couldn't get it up .

So it lead him to masturbating and smoking . But he couldn't do it because he didn't have time to do so . And it seemed both him and Jack were playing a game that they didn't even know the rules to .

All broke loose when he saw a guy try to give Jack his number in front of him . HE was just boiling and it was like the blonde knew what it was doing to him . He started flirting back with that dumbass .

When they both got back to the dorm , they locked the door .

The next day they both went to find the guy and jack had to explain to the guy he wasnt interested , not because what had happen in that same day .

And if Clark had a smug smirk all day nobody mentioned it

.... ....

They agreed on a Friend with benefits agreement . There were rules that had to be followed so at the end their friendship wouldnt get ruined .

* 1 . Don't tell anyone

* 2 . once feelings start to form they had to call it quits

* 3 . They're aren't allowed to sleep with anyone else 

( Jack agreed with that one right away , he wasn't trying to catch a disease or something . well that's what he kept telling himself .)

* 4 . They can stop whenever the other doesn't want to continue .

* 5 . Always ask consent !

Jack was really proud he came up with that , even if Clark retorted

" I think when your all over me it should be more clear that you want me to F- "

covering his mouth he ends the conversation to point out their first time .

 " you were the one that had  asked me the first time .:

And well they couldn't quite finish the list , because one kiss lead to another and well how can you blame Clark when the blonde was smiling at him like that .

When both come to the conclusion that had fallen way before they had come to the point they were . The blonde tries to show the other , how maybe they didn't have to be just friends . While the other pretends , it all just distraction like playing a board game .

Even if it broke Clark's heart having to remind himself , it was just that and nothing more .

...... ..... .....

there should be more klarker fic

[xmilenavsch]

the only exception: a pat murray x fem!reader one shot

gif credit: @hollyjollyriphunter

pairing: pat murray x reader

word count: about 2,3k

warnings: none! maybe a little angst if you may see it like that & a lot of fluff!

a/n: my first fanfiction on here and my first one after literal years, haha! (bare with me for that matter) also, keep in mind that english isn't my first language, so i'm really sorry for any mistakes!

this is mainly written for & because of one of my best friends leila - leave her some love on her insta @ angelmazzello! <3

summary: y/n is a worker at the d-back's agency, as the woman for basically everything – mostly bringing the boys snacks or drinks or just for their entertainment, considering that all of them are mad obsessed with her & never fail to show her that. but for her, there's only one: the world's most angry but soft boy, patrick murray.

enjoy this fan fiction for now & don’t forget to request me stuff in the comments or via dm!

It was a sunny and hot Saturday in August, when you, Y/N, got ready for work. The Californian sun shone into your bedroom as you were getting ready, excited for the game, and excited to see your favourite team in the world in action once again. They didn't always gain as much as they may have wanted to, but you knew that they gave their best every time and how much they lived for the game.

Leaving your appartment with fast steps, getting into your car and driving to the field, the only thing you could think about though was this one specific man, who you couldn't keep out of your mind since the minute you saw him for the first time. You never really knew if he was feeling equally, but the only thing you really always knew was that the things with him were different. For better understanding: The D-Backs team is a dysfuntional team of college allumni baseball players, who never manage to close their months and who can't go a day without insulting one another so much you might think they'd hold it against each other until the end of time. But when you see them on the next day, everything's back to normal and everyhing happens all over again. You love watching them being by themselves and also their dynamic on the field. They had some kind of magic within their group that amazed you every time. Well, maybe it was just the magic that your best friend, John „Mazz“ Mazzello always tried to point out, but you really didn't care. You loved these boys. And they loved you too.

About that: They didn't just love you, they were quite literally obsessed with you. There was never a time when they saw you where they didn't whistle after you, told you how good you looked with your tied up hair and in your jumpsuit and how well you smelled when you hugged every one of them. It didn't really bother you, you in fact found it extremely funny and always told them that – even when Vinnie sort of revealed to you that all of them had a list and a bet on the go who would get you in bed first – but you still didn't care, you also had a share on that one after all. But there was still just one of them who never really was into that whole thing – it could've been no other but Pat Murray. Mazz's childhood friend, the most enthusiastic screamer on the field, who deep down just was somebody who needed and wanted a lot of love. Which you never told him of course, because those were just thoughts in your head, and you would never dare letting those out. It was too risky for you. Because you definitely didn't want to lose him. Even though you weren't the closest friends, there was always something about your bond that was different to the ones you had with the other boys. But you never knew how you were supposed to tell him that. You just couldn't. Even though you felt his stares, his gazes, his secret attention he gave to you. The little smile he made when he heard you laugh. But he also couldn't admit to himself that there could be more between you guys. He just couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that someone so pure, beautiful, kindhearted, amazing, supportive and angelic like YOU would actually want him. HIM. The messiest person to exist. So you were stuck in your denial of wanting the other and living with it for as good as years now. And so far, this life has been really good. You were just too tired from it, which didn't make it any better. „But it is what it is! Y'know!“, something Zapata would say from time to time when they lost another game.

( OH RIGHT, Y/N is literally on her way to their next game! Back to that topic I guess. )

As you arrive on the parking lot next to the baseball field, you start your normal routine – getting out of your car and locking it, checking yourself in so you at least gain a little money from all of this, getting into the building of the D-Backs home place with their lockers and all, getting into its kitchen and getting everything they needed for the day. They had a home match, meaning they must all have been pretty nervous and maybe even scared to fail. Which is always a matter of the atmosphere within the team, which was different every time, which amazed you always. So you get their snacks and drinks, say Hi with a bright smile to everyone you cross paths with and head to your boys.

As they see you from afar, you can already just smell Palacco's grin towards you and Dells' whistles. „Well well well, look who it is! Our entertainment during our misery!“, the raven haired yelled at you. You scoff a little. „I'm also really happy to see you boys, Johnathan. And just for your reassurance: Go fuck yourself loser.“ All of them laugh at you, which just makes you roll your eyes. As you hand them their snacks, Mazz walks up to you last to get his own, giving you a kiss on your cheek. „Thanks for doing this every time Y/N, you know you're an angel“, he winks at you. You just nodd your head slightly, while looking over to the boys. After some time you just look confused at them, because one special one is missing. „Hey, has anyone seen Murray? He normally is the first one to get this snacks every time. Stress eating and all.“ Arthur just nodds at the field. „He's right there, just checking out the grass' new cut. Y'know, he likes to play specified.“ Another laugh leaves the boys' mouths. You just shake your head and walk up to him, his snacks in your one hand, the other one stuffed into the bag of your jumpsuit.

From afar you can already see his auburn hair glowing in the sun, how it matches with his red team uniform and how his light skin just looks purer than anything else you've seen in your life so far. This sight makes your heart jump into your stomach and you need some time to catch a breath, before you raise your voice a little. „Murray!“, you yell towards the man in front of you. He quickly turns around to see you and you could've sworn that there was a slight smile on his lips as he faced you. „Oh, Y/N, good afternoon. What's the matter?“ You just walk closer to him and hand him his food. „Here, you weren't with the others when I handed it out, so I just thought I'd bring it to you like this.“ He nodds his head and takes it on. „Yeah, I just wanted to check if all the lines are still on track after the grass was cut a couple of days ago. So we don't fail completely. But thanks.“ You scoff, following his eyes as they're sampling the ground. He then sighs, a sound he makes very frequently and which you were already used to hearing from him. „What's wrong Patty? You worried you guys are gonna lose today?“ He laughs a little at the nickname, but then faces you again. „Well, you know Y/N/N, I'm always worried we will. But with home matches-“ - „-it just hits different, I know“, you cut him off. „But y'know, I will be there cheering you guys on from the fence, right next to you. You guys will rock this“, you reassure him, patting his right arm a little bit with your left hand. You wouldn't be lying if you admitted that the both of you felt some type of electricity from that embrace.

He just nodds his head about what you said and actually smiles a little. „Yeah, I know that: It's always you cheering us up the most. And it's the sweetest thing ever.“ You smile hard at his words, probably harder than you should, and do you even blush a little from them or is that just the summer sun shining straight in your face? You don't really know, and maybe you don't even care. What you do care about though is when Mazz yells over to you guys so Pat comes back to the rest of the team to get ready for their game.

You know he does this every time you and Murray have a moment like this, because he doesn't want you to get hurt. Pat didn't have the best experiences when it comes to love so far in his life and because of his broken soul he sometimes makes decisions that don't only hurt him, but also his partner-at-the-time. His last relationship ended pretty bad, you were the one comforting him, already being head over heels crushing on him. But you didn't want to let your feelings in the way of him being hurt, because he was your friend and you wanted to be there for him. Now things are way different and he kind of got over the heartbreak he experienced, but you still couldn't find the guts to tell him. You just couldn't. And Mazz knew that. So every time you guys talked about it, he accepted your decision, even though he was basically the only one believing this thing between you and Murray could work. But he accepted your decision, and whatever decision Patrick would make, because you guys were his best friends and he didn't want anything bad happen to you, nor to lose either of you. So he was just there. Being the secret admirer of secret admirers.

-

As Murray and you get back to the rest of the team, you hug every single of them, wishing them the best of luck. Mazz comes last. You embrace each other the tightest, because you knew that'd give him strength. The only one you didn't hug was Pat, but you just never did that. It sort of never „fitted the vibe of your bond“, as David would say. So you just walk over behind the fence, watching the game elope.

-

From the beginning the match was an intense competition, not only between the two teams, but also between the teammembers within one. But with the D-Backs, that was normal. You were used to listen to them insulting one another in the worst ways possible, with words you didn't even think were a part of the English dictionary. But you just watched and enjoyed the whole thing.

-

After a lot of time has passed and a tie has been declared, somebody had to be chosen for the last pitch to win the whole thing – this time for the D-Backs. You nervously stand on your tip toes, waiting for a decision to be made. The referee had decided to select the performer at random. So they try to find someone, everybody in the crowd is extremely tense, just like you and the rest of your boys are, when they make a decision. „Patrick Murray, 7th, centerfield!“. You gasp loudly and a shiver runs down your spine. Oh god, this can't end well. But Pat walks up to his supposed spot with a kind of confidence you've never seen before on him, with his bat, his baby, his basical everything, standing there and waiting to hit it off. As he's waiting, he turns around a little to face the crowd, finding your face and looking you straight in the eye. You just nood at him, fingers intertwined next to your mouth, and somehow, this gives him all the strength he needs.

As the ball flies up to him, he stands on his position, waiting for the right moment.

Then he hits it.

And then he gets it.

-

The crowd and the rest of the team are cheering more than ever. They really did win! The disappointment on the faces of the opposite team were probably able to be seen in a country 10,000 miles away, but you didn't care. You just were so incredibly proud of your team and especially of your man, Murray, who practically wasn't your man yet officially, but that didn't stop him from owning your heart to the fullest. You push yourself through the cheery people, ignoring the rest of the D-Backs being all over each other, walking fastly towards Patrick. As he sees you, he drops his bat and also walks up to you, hugging you tighter then ever, which gives you more and more shivers and just lets all the adrenaline overflow you that you could ever be able to. Out of the sudden, he picks you up, making you squeak a little, spinning you around for a moment. He let's you down again, looking you straight in the eyes, you just smiling at him the brightest way possible. God, he freaking loved your smile. And from all the previous events, all the strength you had given him, he finally says the one thing you've desired to hear from him for such a long time now: „Go out with me Y/N. I mean it. As a Thank you for helping me today.“ You gasp a little, holding your breath, still having your arms around his waist. „Are you sure? You know that was only you being the talent you are just a few minutes ago.“ He scoffs. „Yeah, I know, but I'm also sure. And dead serious. Just go out with me, sweetie. You won't regret it.“

You just shake your head in agreement. You would most definitely finally go out with the man who owns your heart. And then you'll see what will happen from then on.

[minjoonalist]

Predilection | Chapter Four

Pairing : Jikook x Reader [Feat. Taehyung]

Words: 1.7k

Genre: Angst, eventual Smut, fluff 

Warnings : explicit wording

Description: you want him, he wants you, but he also wants him, and him wants you- but him hurt you. So You hate him.

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In the middle of a much needed relaxing bath, The sound of the apartment’s front door opening and slamming shut could be heard from the master bathroom. It's been a stressful and yet long day for Jimin, so He didn't bother to peek outside of his view when the presence of his highly flustered and confused boyfriend appears In its doorway. Unknown to him, jungkook walks straight in and takes a moment to stare at the content boy before beginning to strip off his clothing.

A slight shuffle is momentarily heard and jimin whines softly after being lifted forward to make room for him. “Jungkook? What are you doing?” he asks just wanting to be left completely alone. The hot water shifts between the two as jungkook’s hard chest comes into contact with his back and the usually silent male doesn't say a thing, Only wrapping his muscular arms around jimin’s waist to pull him back further.

Dammit...he curses inside his head, unable to resist the light urge of titillation that makes him shiver whenever jungkook touches him. giving in, Jimin then sighs contently and after what seems like 10 blissful minutes of the unexpected, silent embrace “Kookie?” He calls out rather softly.

“...Yeah? ” The boy answers a bit hesitant.

“ what has you so worked up?” Jimin’s eyes slowly flutter open, lazily watching as jungkook’s toes fidget under the water next to his. Even better, because the male’s head laid comfortably onto the other’s chest. He could hear the alarmingly fast pace of Jungkook’s beating heart.

“I'm not worked up. Im relaxed.” Jungkook swallows, now trying to will his body into not being so tense. Jimin then chuckles at him “ sure if relaxed means nervous”. He then moves, his head lifting up so that he could turn to look his boyfriend in his face. Once he does, Jungkook’s eyes switch away immediately, focusing fondly on the small mole that sits at the bottom of jimin’s neck. The smiling boy then slowly pouts at him.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that? I didn't do anything.” Jungkook says once he notices the change of atmosphere and the way that his boyfriend kept his piercing eyes on him. Jimin however did not appreciate how defensive his boyfriend had suddenly become. He was acting completely out of his character…

“I...didn't say you did…” he says slowly after staring at him for a moment. He then pulls back a bit “Kookie we don't hide secrets from each other right?- I mean, at least that's what I thought before I found out about your previous situation with y/n…” jimin then mumbles and the sound of uncertain disappointment tugs heavily at jungkook’s heart. The boy only then finally bringing his hurt soaked eyes to meet the other’s.

He didn't trust him…Jimin doesn't believe in his word anymore.

“ Jimin-”

“ No... no, Its okay” the silver haired boy quickly interrupts jungkook with a fake giggle, making him snap his mouth shut immediately. Jimin then takes a deep breath, thinking carefully about what to say next.

“ I know I’m just overreacting…” he whispers silently, so low he wished jungkook never heard him say it. Of course, that wasn't the case.

“Its just- y/n, she’s beautiful y’know? and I can't believe I never noticed her back then, and with you?... I feel so guilty, I hurt her before I even knew her.” jimin pauses, staring into space. “You know...I tried to approach her in the library today? And when she didn't notice- I chickened out and pretty much ran away” he confesses bitterly with a scoff, a pitiful feeling settling within his weak stomach. He could remember this exact emotion when he turned away from you earlier, feeling defeated at the thought that you really might not want anything to do with him.

When the hell did the tables turn?

Jungkook could only sit and watch as jimin tries to pull himself together and suddenly stand up from their bath. Inside his mind , he continued to scold himself. Angry at how much of a terrible choice he made years ago, was somehow able to cause such a huge shift within his current relationship.

If you were angry that I kept you from y/n , could you forgive me for indulging in her?

….

a long excruciating silence.

While your feet patted constantly against the hard floors of taehyung’s dorm, he on the other hand sat still as stone on top of his bed. Your arms perched upon your chest, as a hand pulled constantly at your now swollen lips and On your hundredth turn back towards your best friend’s direction. Only then do you find yourself growing tired of his lack of words.

Your eyes suddenly move to him. “So?”

The gesture snaps him from out of his silent thoughts. Taehyung’s arm tightens slightly around the soft pillow, holding it closer towards his chest and he pushes up the square rimmed glasses on his tired face.

“right…” he starts, coming back into reality “ and you’re sure you werent dreaming this? because you know you tend to fall asleep while studying a lot.” He questions rhetorically while squinting his eyes, making you pause in the middle of your pacing. This wasn't the time to be making jokes, and yet you weren't surprised by your best friend’s lack of concentration.

“I think I can tell the difference between reality and being asleep Tae…we were not in some crazy dream.” you frown impatiently, just wanting any kind of help for your current problem. You then try to take in a deep breath, your hands shaking and stomach squeezing itself together at the thought of what had happened earlier. screw your life... What the hell was Jeon thinking , suddenly kissing you in the middle of the library like that?

But more importantly, why do you keep thinking about it?

“well at least you can do that! I can barely tell if seeing two of you is normal...” he starts to grumble under his breath, creating a small pout while rolling his eyes in sleepy irritation. Once again showing you how lightly he was taking all of this.

“ ugh Taehyung!” You suddenly whine out his name before stomping your foot like a child. This makes the man hold up his hands in surrender, not realizing how aggravated you really were becoming. “Alright, alright! ” your best friend exclaims suddenly, interrupting your mini tantrum. He chuckles slightly, watching how your face screws and unscrews from it’s adorable pout- sometimes you really seemed like his cute little sister. your red puffy cheeks and lost puppy eyes. his brow then lifts...Honestly, he wouldn't think passed it if that same cute expression, was the reason that snake suddenly couldn't deny his obvious attraction towards you.

The thought suddenly has the boy glaring... “ y/n, I'm just trying to understand this. Ever since I first met you, you’ve hated Jungkook with a burning passion and now you’re telling me you kissed him-”

“Woah!...Emo boy kissed me , I did not kiss him.” you correct tae immediately, offended that he would even assume you made the first move in the first place. Hell if that weren't insulting enough, then it was definitely the skeptical look he gives you in return to your claim.

The gesture then makes you roll your eyes while letting out a deep sigh. “I didn't kiss him…” you practically plead, the soft words accompanying your tiny voice.

“I believe you.” He nods and you sag in relief.

That being said, While his voice was sincere, the way Taehyung had begun to walk circles around you, told you that you wouldn't be so at ease with where he was leading this conversation.

“Did you kiss him back?” Tae stops, turning towards you.

And you’re not, you’re completely uncomfortable.

“Pardon?” You swallow visibly.

Tae tilts his head while narrowing his eyes, he then crosses his arms together. “did you...kiss him...back?” He repeats the question a bit slower, leaving no possibility for you to not understand what exactly it was that he was asking you. For some reason it catches you completely off guard and Your stomach squeezes itself in even further at the highly fresh memory.

It probably took way longer than normal for your body to realize what was happening at that moment. Your heart had jumped entirely into your stomach and On the table below you, your hands quivered in shock. With your eyes wide open, you stared up into jungkook’s face. Your cheeks flushed, breathing uneven, and an unwilling sigh of pleasure is let loose when...his incredibly soft lips begins to mold cautiously against yours.

Within a matter of seconds, you had gone from screaming out your anger towards him, to the boy himself suddenly stepping around the table to come a bit closer. His tongue then running across your lips , somehow managing to pry it’s way pass your weak attempt to prevent it. Your mind then goes blank With a huge pull of arousal and you allow your eyes slowly slide shut as he dominantly takes your mouth for his.

“Mmm” in moment of carelessness, jungkook hums out his satisfaction of something he’d dreamed of doing many times and as much as you hate to admit it, it sounds pretty damn good. It could've been the drought of sexual activity in your life or simply that you've never experienced anything like this… but you couldn't remember the last time anyone has ever kissed you with so much passion and hunger. But then again, no guy was just as selfish and greedy like jungkook…-wait.

Jungkook??...Jeon Jungkook is kissing you and you’re kissing him back?...oh no.

Immediately your eyes snap open and you abruptly pull away from the unsuspecting boy. Jungkook could barely blink. The dazed raven following your quick movements with his eyes and not long to follow, the harsh sound of your hand connecting with his face could he be heard throughout the entire library. Jungkook’s head violently snaps to the side and as if to process what exactly had just happened he stays that way for a few seconds. Meanwhile all you could do was sputter a handful tasteful curses before somehow grabbing all of your things and dashing down the library’s isles.

Blinking away the scene that played in your head, you find yourself crashing back down into a harsh reality. The realization hitting you like a cold wave, that you in-fact kissed your sworn enemy back. While standing eerily quiet before your best friend, taehyung shifts his head just a bit lower to catch your reaction. His awaiting stare turning into one of surprise once you give him his  long overdue answer.

“Of course not” you lied.

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