#for the first one i listened to a lot of Shostakovich but my favorite of his waltzes has gotta be his lyric waltz from Jazz Suite No. 2

[atlas-atsus]

War is Over (not quite)

[bittersweet-adagio]

im gonna attempt to elaborate more on the childhood friendship between khoi and vera + them as kids in general 😭 if this makes zero sense im sorry im trying to get my thoughts out

i think for the most part guardian lycos and guardian kora lived near each other, and khoi would often find ways to sneak into vera’s home to hang out (as he was often alone)

i just threw out the love of my dreams (weezer) sounds like something khoi and vera would sing together! listening to it makes me think of stuff khoi would write to cheer vera up after a bad day of filming or if one of her siblings gets “punished” by guardian kora.

as children, i think khoi changes the most, unlike vera, who changes more as an adult.

when khoi was a kid, he was more ivan-like. he even came from a similar place as ivan, deep in the slums, so his birthday isn’t his real birthday. (can i admit his birthday is a ref 😭 another one of my ocs that i based him on has the same birthday…)

when he was younger he didn’t really know how to properly convey his emotions and he tended to be more blunt. it was vera who taught him how! vera is a very good actor (family vlogging channel) and she helped khoi with smiling, showing anger, etc. 

“How are you supposed to smile?” Khoi asked, contorting his face into an expression that would horrify anyone who managed to look in through the window. “Well, first of all, you wouldn’t do it like that! Maybe just watch me first,” Vera laughed, flashing her best polite, rehearsed smile. It wasn’t uncommon for her to show a fake smile, being filmed nearly every day led to that outcome. She didn’t like it, of course she didn’t, but if Guardian Kora’s viewers thought her pets were unhappy, it could lead to an extreme decrease in viewership. “I don’t get it.” “Wait, I’ll move your face for you. Look in the mirror.” 

khoi learned to hide his bluntness from vera as well, and that’s when his nicer and calmer personality started to develop. also, as a child, his music resembled people like shostakovich rather than the composers i mentioned before as a reflection of his mental state. he didn’t really start having a happier whimsical outlook on life until near the time he and vera were shipped to anakt garden.

i personally see khoi being a little weird and off-putting when he first arrives at anakt before he realizes “shit i think i should be less weird and off-putting” and starts to be more likable on purpose.

something i have not mentioned yet is the fact that like ivan, khoi also visits the wagyein! i’m aware of the fact that @aurienneirua also visits them and calls the wagyein “elkie” so i wonder if khoi and aurien had ever accidentally met while visiting the wagyein? if that makes sense? i just think it would be really interesting if they just saw each other and went like “so why are you here…”

in anakt garden, khoi and vera are still very close! they were shipped at the same time, but were placed next to different people. vera didn’t want to go to anakt, but was forced by her guardian. khoi wanted to go either way.

khoi’s first instrument was flute! here is a list of all the instruments he plays:

flute

violin

cello (his favorite!)

double bass

bass guitar

acoustic guitar

harp

most percussion instruments honestly

piano

saxophone

piccolo

khoi’s tendency to stare comes from when he was a kid. he’s very much known to have a creepy ass stare and pretty dead eyes. i have no idea if the darkness in his eyes would be a big freak out for people, but if it is, i’ll mention it now. 

khoi also has a younger sister named nene! (she may be in a future season... if i want)

this is his only sibling and she didn’t see him often because she was the one closest to guardian lycos. 

as for vera, her only turning point i’d say is the fact she almost died. as a kid, she was pretty much the same. she is a lot sweeter than sua is if i’m being fr. she has a lot of siblings so i dont have everyone named… but all of them are younger! in their little family vlogging channel she was one of the favorites and often met with her fans. i’d say she’s used to social interaction but never had much interest in people. she kind of only became friends with khoi because he kept bothering her (he’s very good at that unsurprisingly…)

i think some big differences between khoi and vera is that khoi loves people and would much rather be surrounded than alone, but it’s the complete opposite for vera. also, vera has a hard time accepting compliments and tends to be overwhelmed if she goes through too many interactions in a day! so while she was healing, it would’ve been a little bit hard for her to keep up with all the people visiting.

vera comes from a breeder! there's a lot of other pet humans that look similar to her out there.

vera's average in most things other than her singing, when she wishes she really wasn't. her self esteem is very low and she has trouble with getting criticism.

vera is very media trained and is popular among segyein communities. she garners a lot of sympathy from when she's older because of her attack in anakt.

khoi's voice claim is marshall lee from adventure time/fionna and cake! (if you're an adventure time fan please talk to me) and vera's voice claim is natty from kiss of life! (example songs are good little girl and sugarcoat)

khoi when he's alone reverts back to the idgaf face and he looks really menacing. when he's tired he has a really monotone voice and his eyes start looking scarier. vera is silent when she's alone and she makes a lot of different gifts and letters for others a lot more often if she's feeling really bad so people don't question her about it.

vera actually has depression. she desperately needs therapy

if you have questions about this please ask i feel like this is so unclear 🤧

[diagnosed-anxiety-disorder]

how i got into the composers that i listen to and or play frequently

Bach: My dad has most if not all of his no accompanist violin thingies i forgot what theyre called on his phone and he would play them a lot around the house. Aaaaaaand he's my piano teacher's favorite composer so I learned i think 5-6 of his inventions and uhh Bach competition and then it turns out my violin teacher is also trained in Bach so uhh yeah. Also his stuff is really fun to play on the piano

Mozart: forced to play Mozart. He's more fun on the violin than the piano but for some reason my sense of rhythm just disappears the moment that I see his sheet music

Beethoven: my teacher's teacher's teacher's teacher's uhhh et cetera was Beethoven. I don't know how and I don't know how far back but it makes sense but Im not gonna dox myself so Imma not explain. Also for some reason to stop me from having an anxiety attack my parents would play his 5th symphony 1st movement and I would calm down??? I also saw his 5th symphony live once it was amazinggg and idk when i first listened to 9th 2nd movement but I like that one. Timpanis go brr. I also played one of his piano sonatas and it was so fun I love it

Chopin: okok two reasons 1. my cousin forced me to sight read his nocturnes and other excerpts from literal jpeg images off of his phone when I was like 11 and told me to learn more of his pieces bc apparently he was the best composer to him 2. my friend with perfect pitch pretended to have a gay crush on him for like an entire school year and he ended up teaching me one of the runs in the Waltz in C# minor

Liszt: well first of all, im teaching myself Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2 because I was specifically told by my piano teacher last week that he wouldnt teach me Liszt at all so I was like fine ill do it myself reality can be whatever i want. But before that, friend with perfect pitch was learning La Campanella and wouldnt shut up abt it so I tried it out and I was like ooooooo jumps are fun

Shostakovich: His Jazz Suite is literally my childhood my dad would play his Waltzes a lot growing up haha. And I was in a Shosty piano trio once but we only played one piece :( and I started listening to his symphonies bc orchestra director likes them and i want to get on his good side ahfkljsd; but i also really like them so it's all gud

now, as you can see how short this lis(z)t is (haha im so funny), i really need to listen to other stuff so uhh if anyone has any piece recommendations ill take them! /nf

[findusinaweek]

top 5 favorite movie/game/tv soundtracks and/or albums!

Top 5 soundtracks

This was very hard to do! I had to narrow it down to film scores.

Hans Zimmer- Dead Man’s Chest (5:10-5:43 is the French horn part I was obsessed with). Hans is a rockstar of movie music. Is that good or bad? I don’t know. His music kind of all sounds the same but that’s true of many composers or bands. And does it get my blood pumping? Yes. So good enough. Also I found out about Tina Guo through him and I think she’s phenomenal with a cello (electric or traditional). I cannot exclude her from this post (ok this is her playing the Wonder Woman theme). As for Dead Man’s Chest, was it a good movie? Uh, not particularly. But did the music have a profound impact on my musical tastes? Yes. I took a year of French Horn because of that damn movie. Do you know how gross French Horn is? How much spit that thing gets filled with, especially for a teenager? You gotta turn that thing in circles during breaks in music to get all the saliva out. Anyways, I really liked the Kraken theme. I’d watch it on repeat and ask my mom “What’s that instrument?”. Hans is a master of using French horn (and organ) in any of his works actually. I got to see him (and Tina Guo) live in 2017 and it was just so cool. I couldn’t hear anything for a day afterwards.

Dario Marianelli- Anna Karenina (I wrote a paragraph about how much I like Pride and Prejudice more and then realized that is not true. The P&P explanation makes more sense but oH BOY do I LOVE Anna KAReNINa and Dario Marianelli omg I forgot how obsessed with his music I am). Oof. Dario Marianelli is my favorite. I am endlessly upset that my aunt, who knows him, has not introduced me to him. But honestly it’s for the best, I’d make such a fool of myself. I’m including a movie clip because while this is not the best song or moment in the movie, this clip (until 1:34) explains my love of how Marianelli ties well with the foley artists and choreography. The music lines up chair scrapes and footsteps and accordion and trombone and traditional Russian folk music (The Girl and the Birch/ Vo Polye Byeroza) and and and! An ashtray as a cymbal?! I’m obsessed. He also ties in train noises throughout the movie (Briony in Atonement uses a typewriter as percussion). Also Marianelli was listening to Shostakovich while coming up with music for this movie and Shosty is literally the first music I remember so of course I was going to like this. Dance with Me is just such a spectacular waltz, It kinda reminds me of Shostakovich's Jazz Suite No. 2 VI. Waltz II which is uh...my current favorite classical song (idk if there is a connection there or if I'm tired and I just really like music).

Kenji Kawai’s score for the Ghost in the Shell movies. I think that Kenji Kawai’s work for Ghost in the Shell and Ghost in the Shell: Innocence are some of the best examples of mixing traditional music with symphonic music in a score. He uses Bulgarian folk harmonies (which are sooo tight and blow my mind, Marianelli also included a song in the Redemption soundtrack which is imo the only reason to watch that movie) and classical Japanese choral and percussion (the drummer (taiko, maybe?) in the video is mesmerizing) alongside some subtle strings that really drive and build the tension and I get goosebumps or cry almost every time I hear it.

Philip Glass- The Hours. Philip Glass makes me feel things over arpeggios. His work is more simple than many composers but it’s just so, so gorgeous. I find his overall work very grounding. I’m stunned they got him to do a soundtrack? A lot of the themes are taken from his older works but he still composed specific songs for the movie? And honestly the movie isn’t very good without his score (despite my absolute adoration of Meryl Streep). I listen to this music at least once a month, it’s one of my absolute favorite things.

Nicholas Britell- The King. Britell is currently known for his theme to Succession and while that is a lovely theme I adore him for The King. The movie was ok but the music really stuck with me. My feelings on the score are almost entirely vibes based, which is not my M.O. when it comes to soundtracks/scores. I usually want to just KNOW things about the music but in this case I just let it exist with me. It’s full of grief, it feels like a heavy blanket dampening your soul. Sometimes that is what I need, something to sit with to force my mind back into my body. And under that grief is a strength that builds into something hopeful, regal. Strings and choir. Britell mentions he tried to get a “whirling” sound in it. When I’m overstimulated or panicked I gravitate towards songs that just…feel circular, I don’t know what that means. But this soundtrack is chock full of that so I listen to it in times of distress.

[profblahson]

On that Puss in Boots brainrot, so here’s a list nobody asked for that I can’t get out of my brain

Classical Music I think characters would appreciate for one reason or another, usually because of the story or impetus behind its writing or meaning, in an increasingly longer title

Disclosure: these are just my thoughts. Feel free to comment, reblog, add, discuss! I’m just some dude on the Internet talking about fictional characters, have fun with it!

Under a cut cuz it’s long and there’s a lot of video links

My goal was to explore the music a bit more, get into the reasoning behind its existence, and how that story might play into why I think these characters would appreciate to it. (Sometimes, though, it’s a bit more simple than that)

Gotta start with our favorite, fearless Hero

Puss

“Heroic” Polonaise in Ab, Frederic Chopin

You’ve probably heard this one before, as it’s one of Chopin’s most popular works. Some research, however, I found that Chopin apparently didn’t like attaching descriptive titles to his work - “Heroic” was added by the modern listeners and music historians. The piece was written during the revolutions of 1842, and Chopin’s love at the time, Amantine Lucile Aurore Dupin de Francueil - known by her pen name George Sand - wrote that the piece had the energy and passion needed for the French Revolution. It seems their correspondence was a part of why it gained the name “Heroic” later in life.

While initially I chose this piece because “haha heroic for the hero,” I found I had a “wait a minute” moment reading about how the name was added later on. If having a title and being perceived a certain way doesn’t describe this cat (at least, for most of the film), then I watched the movie wrong. But the energy and vigor with which it clearly gets performed with, the emotional weight it can carry for so many people, during a time of political upheaval…I think Puss would resonate with that, being a Robin Hood himself.

Death

I have to talk about my boyfriend my boyfriend next, of course, being the reason for Puss’ journey in the first place.

Piano Trio No 2 in e, Dmitri Shostakovich

(This is likely the most difficult piece to listen to and talk about, tonally and emotionally. It’s incredibly dark. I’ve linked the fourth movement, because it beautifully synthesizes all the themes and ideas from the previous three, but if you have the time and spoons to spare I highly recommend listening to the entire composition start to finish.)

I’ve actually mentioned this piece specifically in this context on my blog before, but now I can elaborate a bit more. Shostakovich was heavily scrutinized by Stalin’s regime, and his works and performances were subject to the whims of the government for most of his life and beyond. He often had to write as carefully as he could so as to appear to be aligned with those in power, but often would write using themes and motifs counter to what the government would have liked.

The Piano Trio No 2 in e was part dedicated to Shostakovich’s friend and mentor, Ivan Sollertinsky - who passed away during the writing of the piece -, and part dedicated to the Jewish prisoners of war during WWII. Apparently, Shostakovich heard they were made to dig their own graves, and then dance on them. The fourth movement I linked makes the most clear use of a Yiddish-sounding theme in the violin, and the tormented nature of the composition is undeniable. As a character who clearly values life, I feel Death would appreciate the dedications and thought behind the piece, but also enjoy how beautifully macabre it sounds.

Kitty

Kitty was difficult for me, to be honest. Trying to find something that captures her arc is tricky, as I don’t personally know of much music that discusses trust, both in general, and the way she experiences it. But I do think she has a lot of pride in herself as a strong individual, and has pride in her work, which is why I went with

Danzon No 2, Arturo Marquez

The Danzon is a partner dance that developed from the Habanera, and is an active musical form in Mexico today. Marquez’s Danzon No 2 takes this to the next level, in a high energy and blistering work that will leave you humming it for hours. This piece is important as a modern work, as its popularity brought about not only greater respect for Mexican composers, but caused people (read: Western classical musicians) to explore and perform more Hispanic literature, especially Marquez’s. This is also the only piece on this list by a living composer, premiered in 1994.

Being of Hispanic descent, I felt Kitty would find pride in her nation’s music and dances becoming popular across the world due to the popularity of this piece. We also know this cat likes to dance, and it’s incredibly difficult to resist when listening to it.

Perrito

Nimrod, from Enigma Variations, Edward Elgar

The Enigma Variations are small vignettes written for Elgar’s friends. The most recognizable and known of the Variations, Nimrod is an absolutely gorgeous piece of music. The title “Nimrod” is a play on words - the friend in question’s name was Jaeger; Jaeger means “Hunter” in German; Nimrod was a biblical hunter of fame.

Jaeger was not only a friend, but Elgar’s publisher. He would offer advice and helped Elgar rework sections of music here and there. Jaeger’s presence as a confidant is shown in the slow moving lines, reflecting on years of support. If Perrito doesn’t embody dedicated friendship, support, and love in this way, then again - I must have watched the movie wrong. He learns to sit and listen through his time with Puss and Kitty, and this movement almost forces you to take a moment and really sit, listen, and appreciate what you’re hearing.

Goldi

Symphony No 1 in c, Johannes Brahms

I literally cannot think of a better “just right” story in music history than this piece. Brahms was known for destroying his manuscripts of works and sketches he didn’t approve of - he famously ached and pained over writing his first symphony, despite having already solidified himself as a successful composer. He was afraid of the looming shadow of Beethoven, who he had already been compared to by audiences and critics. Some records say it took 14 - others upwards of 21 - years for him to finish this first symphony, and even still he trialed it before publishing.

It seems things ended “just right” for this piece, after all. It was received positively, and spurred him on to compose his second symphony in about a year after the first. Music historians have pointed to this as a shift in the romantic symphonic style. While comparisons to Beethoven were still made (Brahms apparently being frustrated by this - not because of them, but because he felt it was obvious), Brahms had carved his own path of symphonic writing.

Okay I’m done here that’s as far as I got

If you made it down to here, congratulations! This idea came about because, uh, I thought it’d be fun! It gave me a chance to research a bit, and it was fun to try and think of music these characters that I can’t stop rotating in my head would appreciate.

Music is so universal, you could probably find a reason in any piece to give it to anyone, but that’s also what makes it so great. I am by no means an authority, and if you read all this way, feel free to let me know what you think!

Thanks for your time.

[musicaespansiva]

From August 2023 -- Spending the weekend immersed in Vaughan Williams up at Bard College. As soon as I saw Sinfonia Antarctica on the program list, I knew I wanted to come up.

First two concerts down on Friday night:

First night:

I loved “Flos Campi”.  Such a weird, fascinating scoring (for small orch, viola and wordless chorus).  Pre-figures a little bit of the sonorities of Sinfonia Antartica.  Distinctive and original sound.  Also clearly of a piece w/ Ravel’s Daphnis et Chloe, showing Ravel’s teaching influence on VW.

I’ve never thought much of “Five Variants of ‘Dives and Lazarus’” on disc.  Live it was a lot better.  It’s such gentle, delicate music that I don’t think its virtues come off in the recordings I’ve heard.  Optimistic, hopeful and harkening back to an older time.

The Lark Ascending — amazing piece, as always.  Not quite as ‘taking off’ as you might hope, but is that just the mind’s perfect envisioning not happening?

Loved “Capriol Suite” by Peter Warlock.  Perfect light music (no implied pejorative) - esp. enjoyed the very delicate pizzicato playing.  Why isn’t this played more?

The two small Delius pieces are pleasant but slight and could have been skipped.  Holst’s St. Paul’s Suite is a much better piece.

And then there’s the Elgar.  More and more I find I truly dislike the lugubriousness of his Serenade for Strings.  Is it the way it’s played?  Is it that for this piece, the string orchestra just seems to be a muddle?  (But the other pieces showed how this need not be the case.)  In any case, I need to not listen to this for a long, long time.  It’s not Elgar in general (see, Cello Concerto or Enigma Variations), but to me it’s just sludge.

Second Afternoon:

Best were:  Jacob’s Sonatina, Bartok’s Rhapsody, Rubbra’s Ave Maria … and VW’s String Quartet #2.  Though I wish the String Quartet had been played with a little more bite and angst.  It’s almost as if, since it’s VW, they wouldn’t go as harsh as they would with DSCH or Bartok.  But it's clearly there in the music.  Still good.

The talk before the performance also highlighted the leading role of the viola in VW’s quartet, and that the quartet was written for and dedicated to the violist of the quartet who first premiered the piece.

Second Evening:

This was the highlight of the weekend. One of my favorite Vaughn Williams symphonies — Sinfonia Antarctica — was the big draw for me.  As soon as it started, I just broke out in smiles.  I could quibble about a few minor things:  the soprano soloist emoted a bit more than I’d like — she’s “implacable nature,” not a dying diva; a few random emphases here and there.

But this was one of the first times where Botstein played an ‘unknown’ piece that I know well, and didn’t let me down.  Orchestral detail was fantastic, the chorus was wonderful.  Hearing it this way with concentrated viewing (as opposed to on headphones, etc.) did make it seem like VW should have probably edited about 5 or so minutes out of it   But it was still incredible.

The projections of the ‘superscriptions’ on the wall behind the orchestra was a fine middle ground between speaking them (which seems awfully stuff in person) and ignoring them (which misses the benefit completely).  Some of the other Antarctic pictures were a little cutesy, but others were good.  And it did fill up the time (see last paragraph).

Equally impressive was the Symphony No. 8, which wasn’t one of his that I knew the best. It has a freshness of musical and orchestral experimentation that is just fun.  It tries out tricks and never lets the energy flag, while being charming all the same time.  Take the charm of Prokofiev’s Classical Symphony, the spontaneity of Shostakovich’s 1st Symphony, and add it to VW’s wonderful orchestration and you have this symphony.  It won some awards at the time, and this committed performance really made you believe it deserved them.

The rest of the evening was fine.  Maconchy’s “Proud Thames” was a fine short tone poem, but not enough to make me buy more of her music in the lobby.  Sibelius’s “Andante Festivo” is nice, but wasn’t necessary.  Walton’s “Partita for Orchestra” was the best of the lot, but it got blown away in my mind by the 8th Symphony that followed it.

Third Morning:

The smaller chamber music concert.  Again best was the substantial VW piece — the Violin Sonata in A Minor.

The rest has mostly faded in the memory.  Probably most interesting was Michael Tippet’s Piano Sonata No. 1.  Eclectic but not as forbidding as his later works would be.  (This was his first ‘authorized’ piece.)

Third Afternoon:

I’ve never been a fan of the Falstaff story, and especially the Merry Wives of Windsor.  It seems to me the story of an annoying blowhard, who everyone just tolerates and then forgives. I didn’t like it in Chimes at Midnight, and I’ve always kept a distance from the Verdi.  The parts of him in Henry IV are fine, but it’s really only the renunciation by Henry Vth that really is very interesting to me.

With that having been said, both the production and the musical quality of VW’s opera “Sir John in Love” (adapted straight from The Merry Wives of Windsor”)  were quite enjoyable.  The production dressed everyone in garb appropriate to the 20’s (when VW wrote the opera), which worked well.  And solo writing is a lot of fun.  It still seems like that cute tale that grandpas and grandmas can chuckle at in the theater, but it was a very pleasant way to spend an afternoon.

Each of the characters is nicely characterized in the music, and the excellent performances brought that out well.  It’s not something I’d seek out again, but I’m glad I saw it.

Two small notes:

1.  Small mention of Martin Luther Clark — that queen came out looking fabulous in these pump boots and dangly earrings in the Saturday afternoon concert to perform the vocals in the Rubbra setting.  And then turned around and did an excellent job of being the befuddled, slightly nerdy Swallow in Sir John in Love.

2.  Walking back to the car I heard this couple musing over Greensleeves (which is used as the basis for some variations in Sir John in Love).  They apparently had never heard of it before (!!!) or at the least felt that it must be much more significant to the English, since it was largely unknown to them.  I kept wondering what planet they were from.

Bard Summerscape, Vaughan Williams and His World, August 2023.

[littlethingwithfeathers]

pick your favourite fic or just one you're proud of! 2, 13? :)

I'm going to answer these for my Chernobyl fic "Intercalation." It's one of my longest fics and definitely one of my most complicated and challenging. I had to learn a lot about some arcane nuclear physics to make all the symbolism weave into the narrative... it was great fun. 2: What scene did you first put down? Almost without exception I write in chronological order. This keeps me from just writing my favorite bits and procrastinating on other stuff, and it keeps me locked into the timeline so I don't get turned around on the order things need to happen in. However, this was something of an exception. While I did pretty much write everything in the order it was presented (flashbacks and all), there was a fair bit of pre-work that had to be done in regards to the aforementioned research into nuclear physics. A friend of mine with a doctorate in particle physics helped me work out a great deal of the more technical symbolism (like the difference between ionization and Cherenkov Radiation for example) and we did a lot of writing together for some of the scenes... particularly the "lecture" between Legasov and Sherbina. So those scenes were in the works and in some cases were already partially written and waiting to be pieced together when I got to those scenes. It was a little like working with legos, which is not my usual method save for a line here or there than I want to remember to use. 13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

I usually do listen to music to get inspired. If you look at the breadth of my work, you'll see song lyrics as fic and chapter titles almost everywhere. But again, this fic was something of an exception. I didn't really listen to much music for inspiration for this piece. I think mostly because the bulk of it takes place in such a melancholy and depressive mood, and usually the music I listen to is for upbeat or action-oriented scenes like fights, struggles, or reunions. And it's almost all very American and modern... not really suitable for getting in the headspace of Soviet Russia. Instead, I looked to a lot of writing for inspiration and tone-setting, as I was also reading a lot of nonfiction about Chernobyl and other major nuclear disasters at the time. The science as well as the politics sets the symbolism in this fic, so I was always looking for little scraps to gild my ideas with. If I were to suggest some musical accompaniment, I would say first to check out the Chernobyl soundtrack if you haven't already. It definitely... sets a tone to say the least. But then I would also suggest looking for things that give that sort of flat, gray melancholy that pervades a lot of the fic. Look for things like "Stairs of Fire" from the Silent Hill 2 soundtrack... a lot of Japanese horror games will have piano tracks that are this sort of restless depression. Also the moody bombastic music of the great composers of Soviet Russia are good choices... Prokofiev, Rachmaninoff, and Shostakovich are all excellent listening companions and Prokofiev particularly for the scene at the Bolshoi. Romeo and Juliet perhaps? Thank you for the ask, lovely! <3

[octobersymphony]

behaviour >:)

put an album in my ask and i'll tell you my 3 favorite songs and my overall opinion

>:) thank you sarah!

i adore every pet shop boys album, but i think behaviour is among the best of the best - i would put it and very as like, tied for first place favourite. (i will say that if i had to pick just one favourite psb album i would lean slightly towards very but it's very (lol) close). it was hard for me to narrow it down to just 3 favourite songs because honestly?? every song on this album is just spectacular and they're ALL my favourites. but here goes (this is long)

1. being boring: honestly i think this is unequivocally their best song. literally absolute perfection in every way, being boring is soooo beautiful and poignant and really showcases some of neil's absolute BEST lyricism - like "i never dreamt that i would get to be / the creature that i always meant to be / but i thought in spite of dreams / you'd be sitting somewhere here with me" MAKES ME INSANE BRINGS ME TO MY KNEES SCREAMING AND CRYING. i love the progression of the verses as it reflects through time across the decades as an elegy and honestly the production on this track is SO rich and lush i love the guitar i love the drums i love the multitracked vocals i love everything about it. i think neil said once that he wanted the vocals to sound like it was being whispered into your ear and it makes it feel so personal (because it is so personal!).

2. my october symphony: with this url i feel obligated to give a shoutout to this one lmao but honestly it fully deserves it... honestly it's So neil tennant to read a book about shostakovich and the fall of the soviet union and then have this whole song about like, reflection on the collapsing past and looking towards an uncertain future etc etc (i don't remember where precisely it was from, but i remember reading someone's commentary about putting it in the context of being a gay man following the aids crisis which. Much To Think About) i think neil's lyricsm really shines in kind of these big picture contexts if that makes any sense at all. but that being said, one of my favourite lines is "shall we remember december instead? / or worry about february?" honestly i partially just like it for the internal rhyme (remember/december and worry/february) - i think there's a lot of moments where the rhyme scheme and wordplay and all is just. really fantastic just the whole "as an indication / change the dedication / from revolution to revelation" is SO clever. and sonically?? i LOVE this track i love the backing vocals and the uwuwuwuwu ahhhhhhhhs and the double tracking in octaves and the bassline and the house piano and the guitar (shoutout to johnny marr) and the strings near the end and literally everything about it. literally just writing this up in a couple minutes for a tumblr post is making me realize how much i adore this song

3. the end of the world: i actually had kind of a hard time picking what song i wanted to put for #3 here (i actually started little writeups for jealous and nervously) but i eventually decided on the end of the world - this is definitely a track that feels like My Song because it was somehow like the 2nd psb song i ever heard due to idk spotify algorithms or whatever and it's right up there at the top of my most listened spotify songs of all time (up there with west end girls and it's a sin and always on my mind) just due to the longevity of it being in my listening repertoire. so really it's a hit single in my heart. i love the line "prophets all predicted exinction / the virgin spoke in apparations / and if it all came to pass now / you feel we'd all deserve it somehow" SO dramatic and the juxtaposition of that with the chorus "it's just a boy or a girl / it's not the end of the world" is soooo good. also love how neil is trying to emulate enjoy the silence with the guitar here lmao

i was considering doing an honorable mentions section here at the end with other songs but quite honestly i think i would just be listing the entire rest of the album. i think behaviour is such a special, poignant album that really shows off some of psb's best work

[morbidly-malicious-muffins]

What Kind of Music Slashers Would Vibe to Headcanons♪

This little thing popped into my head. Fyi, the canon timelines are thrown out the window for this so... Yeah.

Bring forth the bop~

RZ Michael Myers

"Let my weapons be your children, let my armies be your damned. Try to suffer on in silence, try to stop me if you can." --- This Cold Black by Slipknot

I think he'd really enjoy metal in general. I can totally see him unknowingly stomping to some Marilyn Manson and Meshuggah, though the lyrics and message probably will just fly over his head.

He listens to some heavy shit, but probably all the more mainstream bands/artists.

The loudness and organized chaos of the genre fills the void in his soul and reflects the state of his mind, despite his stoic and non-verbal outer demeanor.

Someone please do everyone a favor and introduce Michael to some death metal. Admit it, it really fits his aesthetic.

This is just based on speculation, but I suspect a 70% possibility of RZ Michael resonating with Cannibal Corpse. Fight me.

He hates classical music with a burning passion. Back in Smith's Grove, they played Bach's Air Sul G on tap. (its canon in the first movie lmao) He hates it. Mikey no likey.

Freddy Krueger

"No stop signs, speed limit, nobody's gonna slow me down. Like a wheel, gonna spin it, nobody's gonna mess me around." --- Highway to Hell, by AC/DC

Freddy listens to classic rock, period.

This guy is ngl a supporter of music taste discrimination. You listen to pop? Disgusting. You listen to Jazz? Disgusting. Classic rock is the epitome of all music.

He'll call you music-related slurs you never knew existed.

As stubborn adamant as Freddy is, he does harbor some guilty pleasures, including 70's hair metal and glam rock. Pshh. What a heckin hypocrite.

Some of his all time favorites are Guns N' Roses, Led Zeppelin, Van Halen, and AC/DC.

(Basic bitch)

*Hip thrust movements to go with his 'The Sprinkler' dance moves, Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N' Roses blasting in the background*

OG Michael Myers

He doesn't listen to music, but if he did, he would probably enjoy Jazz.

Michael only listens to Miles Davis because he enjoys his music and can't be bothered to discover more artists.

Oml Michael I know Miles Davis is amazing but don't neglect other iconic artists plzzz. Someone please make him listen to some Teddy Wilson and/or Dave Brubeck.

I imagine him sitting stiff-straight on a rocking chair (he just likes how it moves), knife in his lap, rocking and zoning-out relaxing to 'Blue in Green'. (I love that piece)

#AfterHeFinallyKillsLaurie

#RetirementGoals

He also hates classical music because of the same reason as RZ Myers. Seriously, if either of them so much as hears the opening chord of Air Sul G, expect the speaker to be stomped to a pulp in a split second.

Bubba Sawyer

Alright let's all be honest with ourselves... 70's pop and country is Bubba's shit.

Look me in the face and tell me he wouldn't adore ABBA, The Jackson 5, and Dolly Parton. Thats right you can't

Everytime 'Dancing Queen' starts playing on the radio, Bubba will drop everything and start busting down.

Ain't nothing and nobody stoppin him. Drayton is powerless against the supreme sovereignty that is ABBA.

But let's also appreciate the fact that our Bubster can motherfuckin get down. *wipes sweat from forehead + heart eyes*

He would also do passionate lip sync with his heart and soul, to Dolly Parton's 'I Will Always Love You'.

50% chance of him starting to cry right after he finishes his earnest performance.

*Holding Bubba in your arms, rubbing comforting circles on his back as he bawls hysterically, incoherently babbling on about how much he loves you*

I also feel for some reason he'd really like Joan Jett & The Blackhearts.

Thomas Hewitt

"For one moment, I wish you'd hold your stage, with no feelings at all. Open minded, I'm sure I used to be so free." --- Citizen Erased by Muse

Y'know what I have a hard time imagining the type of music Tommy listens to. Kutos, Mr. Hewitt, you have defeated me.

siKE

(This is where I yeet the timeline out of the window y'all)

Thomas enjoys Muse, Evanescence, and Radiohead. (Fight me)

He just loves how emotional their songs are. He'd have one earbud in as he works away at his projects for hours. The music helps him concentrate, it is also a source of emotional support to him.

Hearing the heart-wretching lyrical content of 'Lost in Paradise' performed so beautifully by Amy Lee's angellic voice is really comforting to him. It's like hearing about another person's experiences. It makes him feel less alone in dealing with his emotional and mental turmoils and burdens.

The first time Thomas heard 'Creep' by Radiohead, he almost cried.

He also listens to My Chemical Romance sometimes. He only knows the Black Parade album, but he loves it. If 'Creep' didn't make him cry, listening to that entire album from top to bottom sure did. He started sobbing half-way through 'Famous Last Words'.

Tommy is emotional boi 🥺

Brahms Heelshire

C l a s s i c a l

No matter how stinky Brahms is, you can't tell me that he's not classy.

Schubert is his bitch. Schubert's style tends to be quite majestic and/or dreamy, (generally) and can change color/sound very abruptly yet appropriately. (This is just my opinion based on experience with Schubert's pieces, but then I only know his piano pieces soo) (let's still cue that maestoso to scherzando transition)

But of course, Schubert isn't the only thing he listens to. He prefers the romantic period, so Mendelssohn, Rachmaninoff, Chopin, Shostakovich, Brahms, Schumann, you get the gist, all the staples. Oh yeah Elgar too. To be a proud English lad.

*Brahms swaying in the living room with the grace of a baby giraffe, engrossed in the beautiful melodies in Schumann's Kinderszenen.*

(Oml please check out 'Von fremden Landern und Manschen' and 'Kind im Einschlummern') (For those who play piano, they aren't that difficult too totally recommend) (Ok sorry I'm done now)

Brahms would totally waltz around alone to Chopin's waltzes and nocturnes.

Oh yeah apart from that classy shit, he likes to jam to meme songs.

"Hey now, you're an all star, get your game on, go play---"

*cut to Brahms passionately fortnite dancing*

Listens to The Strange Man Who Sings About Dead Animals for a good laugh. (Please, all of his songs are gold)

Vincent Sinclair

He'll have 'emo' and 'classical' with a side of metal, thanks.

I headcanon that Vinny McWaxy is an INFJ, so the boy is likely prone to crippling existentialism. It would make sense for some aspects of his music taste to reflect that.

*cut to Vincent sitting rock-still on his workbench/stool, hands hover in mid-air, staring straight ahead, some John Cage piece playing*

You'll never hear this from Vincent but he enjoys sexy-time music. He has this whole erotic playlist he listens to while working. (Boy likes to feel sexy on the job, I respect that.)

I think its pretty much canon that Vinny loves MCR. (Hello fellow emo piece of shit 👋) His favorites are everything by them really. A hardcore fan. He used to have MCR, P!ATD, and 30 Seconds to Mars posters plastered everywhere in his workshop until he had to remove them all to add to the intimidation factor of his waxy hell for passer-bys. For the record, he is very gay for Frank Iero.

On the metal part of his spectrum is mostly classic metal, groove metal, and thrash/heavy metal.

Rammstein, Pantera, Vildhjarta, new and old Metallica, Dream Theatre, Coheed and Cambria. His bitches.

He also uses music to scare victims when bringing them down to his workshop. *cue horror movie soundtracks*

*KI KI KI MA MA MA*

Is a whore for the dramatics when in a good mood.

*Lacrimosa by Mozart plays as he makes a point to bring the wax painfully slowly down toward a drowsy and petrified victim*

A lament for your upcoming death, pitiful human.

Bo Sinclair

"The day has come for all us sinners, if you're not a servant you'll be struck to the ground." -- Beast and The Harlot by Avenged Sevenfold

Bastard boy is into dad-music™. (same)

Dad rock, classic rock, pop punk, punk rock, old school pop, his shit.

He listens to a lot of the same bands as Freddy, but Bo (generally) doesn't discriminate and explores a more diverse variety of music.

Its a fandom canon that Bo loves Avenged Sevenfold. I totally agree.

A7x is the perfect amount of cynical, political, and shred for Beauregard, (I hc that ge hates his full name so plz don't ever call him Beauregard)

He listens to the radio whenever he's at work. Whatever that might be.

Will NEVER admit it, but he thinks Vinny's music taste is dope as hell.

He'll turn off the radio just to strain his ears to listen to Vincent's music downstairs. No one will ever know that though. You don't.

Actually likes classical music too. Its not one of his main genres but there's one piece he really likes, Second Movement of Shostakovich Piano Concerto No. 2 in F Major.

He never thought he'd enjoy this type of music. Its so.... Calm. He discovered that piece from Vinny's playlist. When he first heard it on his brother's speaker, he fell in love. It was one of the extremely rare cases in which he'd be committed enough to ask Vinny the name of the music.

Tiny shuffle for man-kind, huge fuckin step for Bo. Good job Bo, we're proud of you.

Also pleeeeeaaase message me or request stuff, I'm bored and have little inspiration 🦊

I might do a pt2 of this, since I didn't write many of the boys and gals🤷‍♀️

Also sorry if I've neglected some genres/artists (Like i've neglected non-piano classical pieces.... Bc ya girl is just a pianist), a person can't know everything😗

---Zali 🖤

[zukkau]

HEHE MUSIC OKAY so i listen to a lot of piano-only works which’ll show up in my list lol—but first for something very sad and pretty but also very normie there’s the perennial favorite gymnopedie no. 1 by satie. i’m a huuuuge debussy stan and any of his piano or orchestral works are fantastic but some of my faves are arabesque no. 1 & 2, prélude a l’après midi d’un faune, all of la mer, les roses l. 28 (this one is operatic), all of his images pour orchestre, etc etc. mendelssohn’s octet in e flat has been my go-to study work for AGES. i performed Beethoven’s symphony no. 1 in C once for my orchestra and I’ve been a huge fan ever since, especially of the third movement (allegro molto e vivace). (full disclosure i am a violinist so that effects my judgement lol.) oh man he’s technically not classical but i LOVE stravinsky. the rite of spring and the firebird suite have been jams of mine since i was a kid. i got to play the firebird suite once with my orchestra and i cried lol. if u want something that sounds REALLY dramatic those are a good bet, especially the infernal dance, lullabye, and final hymn. lastly he is definitely not classical but he is definitely gay! leonard bernstein everyone! i REALLY like the chichester psalms by him lol, especially the second movement. sorry so many of these are modern (or modern-ish) but i still hope they help and that you enjoy them lol! 💕

WAIT LAST ANON HERE sorry I can’t believe I almost forgot shostakovich’s piano concerto no. 2 op. 102 in F major. a classic song to be emo to. i hope u have a good day 💖

— 

THANK YOU FOR THIS ! this is so detailed and full of gems i just know it so ahhhh thank you !! (also the violin effecting ur judgement is perfect zuko energy for the au so asdkalhdka it works) i hope you have a great day too thank you! 

[mikrokosmos]

Hello, asking for help. I have this plan of listening to a composer for a week in order to get familiar with his style and smth related. Schubert, Ravel, Rachmaminov and Beethoven are the ones for this month. May you suggest me pieces or collection of works, please? What other composers would you consider to add to my list? In both cases, from underrated gems to great masters. Thank you in advance :).

Ah sure thing, that sounds like a lot of fun! And those guys are all among my favorites so a great first month,

Schubert can be a bit ‘daunting’ at first because he wrote very long pieces of music, and the aesthetic is kind of an acquired taste, which sounds weird since he’s one of the ‘greats’ and is super popular, but for me at least it took a while to really get into his chamber works and solo piano sonatas where much of his greatness lies. Here are some works to get into him;

Auf dem wasser zu singen

Der Erlkonig

“Death and the Maiden” String Quartet

Piano Sonata in a minor, d. 845

Impromptus, op.90 and op. 142

Fantasy for violin and piano in C major

Wanderer Fantasy

String Quintet in C

Die Schone Mullerin

The ‘last three piano sonatas’

Piano Trio no. 2

Ravel will be a lot of fun, I say listen to like, everything he wrote since he has a relatively small oeuvre, and everything he wrote is great

Gaspard de la nuit

Miroirs

Pavane for a Dead Princess

Ma mere l’Oye [for orchestra or piano duet]

Rapsodie espagnole

Tzigane

String Quartet

Introduction and Allegro

Le tombeau de Couperin

La Valse

Piano Concerto in G

Piano Concerto for the left hand

Daphnis et Chloe

Rachmaninoff is awesome, can’t go wrong

Piano Concerto no. 2

Piano Concerto no. 3

Cello Sonata

Piano Sonata no. 2

Etudes Tableaux

Preludes

All Night Vigil

Symphony no. 2

And finally, Beethoven, whomstve is awesome of course;

Piano Sonatas 3, 8, 12 - 18, 21, 26, 28-32 [have fun lol]

String Quartets 7-16 

All 9 Symphonies

Piano Concertos 4 and 5

Violin Sonatas 5, 8, 9, and 10

Piano Trio “Archduke”

That’s more than enough listening for one month, hope you have fun :D

For the future? Hm...I’d say it’s fun to go through the music of Debussy, Stravinsky, Shostakovich, Mozart, Liszt, and Berlioz

[hpoelzig]

Hurwitz on Classical Music

David Hurwitz is a music critic who currently has a YouTube channel upon which he presents his ever-growing body of reviews of recordings of classical music. I very recently discovered this wonderful resource, but I had known him over the years for his written reviews for High Fidelity, Fanfare, Amazon.com, and Classics Today (he’s a founder and executive editor). An ebullient curmudgeon with a rich vocabulary, Hurwitz presents his thoughts and feelings in an earthy, energetic manner. Clearly, he’s quite “well-listened”—and I’m curious as to how he currently evaluates recordings, whether he uses headphones or speakers and what sort of sound-reproducing facilities might be his “rig.” There are quite a few videos, with sometimes several added in a day, so I’ve yet to find whether he’s mentioned that somewhere amongst them.

Unsurprisingly, since Hurwitz resides in Brooklyn, over the decades we’ve both attended many of the same concerts. I lived in Manhattan for 35 years, near Carnegie Hall and Lincoln Center, and was at many performances in those venues as was he. We’ve likely passed close to one another a number of times without meeting, a pity, since I suspect we’d enjoy hours of conversation about the music for which we both have such passion. I value that Hurwitz is a fellow musician (a percussionist—as was I in my early years of college) and he’s also a fellow tam tam aficionado—he mentions he has a collection of them amongst his personal array or percussion instruments (I’d love to spend some time with those!). He is deeply conversant with the scores for the works he’s discussing, and may even have played in performances of such pieces over his career. He also values many of the same mainstream composers I favor (including Mahler, Shostakovich, Dvořák, Haydn, Strauss, Sibelius, Brahms and Bernstein) and he has written “Owner’s Manuals” regarding their works. I’m now tempted to read those. He’s even done scholarly rebuttals to the folks who promote early performance practices regarding use of vibrato. Hurwitz, contrarily to most, contends it was commonly in use. He also shares my love for some lesser-known composers such as Nielsen, Leifs, Gillis, Lloyd, Englund, Koechlin, Pettersson, Raff, Shapero, Kalliwoda, and Magnard. 

From the episodes I’ve currently enjoyed, Hurwitz typically does not play examples of the recordings that he is discussing, and, to be fair, that would add a great deal of time to the video blog, so that’s not a problem. He may at times be speaking to the part of his audience who are also similarly well-listened, dismissing some performers who are generally considered to be weak in certain repertoire without necessarily making it abundantly clear why that would be the case. Those coming to this channel who are new to classical music might not at first grasp why he either raves for some or condemns others to the “schwach” bin. However, I’m discovering that his tastes frequently coincide with mine, as he has similar aesthetics about what qualities make for both exemplary music and performances of it. And, he’s made clear, both in the episodes and in the spirited comment stream for them, his perspective. These quotes from him in response to comments on his review of versions of Beethoven’s 9th Symphony (he wears a tie when discussing this work) make things abundantly clear:

“It's not wisdom, just experience, and there are many commentators who, I'm sure you will discover, also bring a useful fund of experience to bear on their judgments. There are also a lot of fakes and phonies, unfortunately, but that comes with the territory. If I may make one suggestion? Take your time, live with the music and your favorite versions, then perhaps sample another and see how it strikes you. There's no hurry—the point is that the experience should be as enjoyable as possible. I meant what I said originally—there is no performance out there that someone doesn't love, but if you want to try to get the "best" versions, more important than seeking out the advice of others is to know your own preferences, so you have a basis to judge what they say. Be selfish. It's your money and your time!

“Of course no hard feelings. You are more than free to disagree with me, and I respect that. Of course Karajan sounds different from Szell, and I greatly prefer Szell, but I chose Karajan not because I like him, but because he had a distinct point of view that he realized superbly in that recording, and I felt obliged to give credit where credit was due. That is the difference, sometimes, between criticism and mere fandom. I do feel an obligation to acknowledge different interpretations, take into account the general consensus, and consider other factors beyond my own personal preference. It may not exactly be "objective," but it isn't totally "subjective" either. I see it more as an aspect of professionalism as a critic. I take great pride in recognizing excellent work, whether I happen to like it or not, and telling listeners about it so that they can come to their own conclusions.”

I’ve been pleased to discover that Hurwitz shares my thinking about the quality of Rachmaninov’s Symphony No. 1 (his best—and we share admiration for Ashkenazy’s recording), but, in contrast, I do like the actual bell sounds in the first movement, which for me directly evoke Rimsky-Korsakov’s orchestration of the Boris Godunov coronation scene while Hurwitz prefers that passage to be less literal. My readers might know of my Mahler connection (including my years with the Gustav Mahler Society of New York which began in 1976) and I frequently find that Hurwitz knows and appreciates some of the more obscure Mahler recordings…Muti’s 1st, Slatkin’s 2nd, Barshai’s 5th. Our listenings and evaluations often coincide, but we don’t always agree. While he prefers the wind band arrangement, I love hearing the full orchestral version with choral parts for the Berlioz “Funeral and Triumphal Symphony.” Singing “Gloire et Triomphe” while conducting “air baton” always adds to my enjoyment of that splendid work. 

Hurwitz’s video blog reviews are definitely worth your while, whether you are beginning to explore classical music or are a seasoned aficionado. So far, he’s clued me in to some treasures that I’d not yet enjoyed, including Finn Mortensen’s splendid symphony and Fricsay’s superb reading of Dvorak’s 9th. Many of the recordings he mentions are currently posted on YouTube. While he doesn’t provide links, but you can easily find them, so you need not deplete your funds ordering hundreds of CDs. Do your listening and then you can purchase those CDs that intrigue you most. You’ll quickly get used to his raspy voice and cheerful monologue. The sight of his smiling face framed by the pagan halo of one of his substantial tam tams will be a welcome sight. 

For many, getting acquainted with classical music is a rather Hellish experience. I know, for I’ve spent decades assisting people to discover the glories achieved in that art form. There are centuries worth of material and thousands of performances of wildly varying quality, and that can be a formidable barrier. Would-be initiates to this vast repertoire often need a knowledgable guide. So, I suggest you let Mr. Hurwitz be Virgil to your Dante as you descend what might seem at first to be the nine circles of the abyss, but which will instead ultimately prove to be an opening of your ears to transcendent beauty. Queue Liszt’s “Dante Symphony”—with the optional fortissimo conclusion to the choral Magnificat—volume turned up!

—Peter H. Gilmore

[doomedandstoned]

AS I DIE AT MY DESK

Interview by Shawn Gibson

Can you tell me the meaning of the band name As I Die At My Desk? I imagine dying in a cubicle in corporate hell!

The honest answer to this is that it was a joke. I overheard a co worker say it at work and I thought it would be a hilarious band name. It is also a bit ironic as I always told myself that I would do work I truly love and follow my passions as they tell you that stuff in high school and college and it hasn't worked out that way for me yet! I am not deterred. I do get to make music in my spare time. Music gets to be my fun escape. It gets to be my artistic outlet that I don't have to share if I don't want to. All that aside I am a man who loves to laugh and loves to joke. Despite the themes and sounds of the music which are very real and emotionally heavy for me, the band name was a way to take the piss out of the situation. I can laugh at myself for being a weirdo who likes heavy music, where people scream and howl like demons and laugh even harder at how ridiculous I must look doing that in the bedroom for my music. I am pretty serious about most things, but I have to remember to have fun. That is what I think is important. I'm sorry it's not a very metal answer!

Suicide as Cleansing by As I Die at My Desk

You do everything in As I Die At My Desk, all instruments right?

Yes, I do all instruments and my main goal is to try to not suck. I actually record through a pre amp and I use different virtual amp sims like Amplitube for my tones. I used my Sterling by Music Man John Petrucci 7 string guitar, Ibanez BTB7 7 string bass, and an Alesis brand electric drum set for this record. It's a pretty basic setup, but given the size of my recording space, it's the best I can do. I have been writing for the past eight years or so. This is my first attempt at a metal release despite the fact I am a huge metal head! I was pretty happy with what I was able to do by myself.

What are your influences musically?

My influences range from classical music to jazz to anything under the rock umbrella. I am particularly interested in Soviet era composers. Dmitri Shostakovich, Sergei Prokofiev, and Igor Stravinsky. The first instrument I started playing was a cello at age 10. I graduated college in 2016 and gave a recital featuring Shostakovich and Prokofiev. The desperation and darkness they were able to convey so beautifully have influenced me greatly. I don't have a lot of experience with jazz, but the works of Coltrane, Thelonios Monk and especially Miles Davis have influenced me, as well. I just love especially experimental music and anything that ties to reshape and reform the genres wherein they find themselves pigeonholed. My music doesn't really sound like it to me, but Dream Theater and Iron Maiden are two of my favorites. I didn't actually start to get into doom or sludge until college. Now I love that stuff! Eyehategod is one of my newer favorite bands, as well as Sumac and YOB.

What are some of your favorite books and movies?

I tend to read non-fiction. I am a big history nerd. However I have spent a lot of time in the fiction world, as well. Some of my favorites are Catch 22 by Joseph Heller, Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Twelve Chairs by Ilf and Petrov. I am a big Lynch and Tarantino fan! Blue Velvet and Eraserhead are two of my favorite films. Reservoir Dogs had a really big impact on me, as well. I first saw it when I was 14. It was so gritty and real to me then. That was a very realistic show of violence.

Are you a fan of horror books or movies?

I was a bigger fan of horror when I was in high school. I must have read every Stephen King a dozen times. I don't tend to like a lot of horror books or movies. There are some exceptions, I love monster movies. Give me Jaws or Godzilla any day! I tend to like movies that are creepy or unsettling, but I don't get into paranormal stuff. There are plenty of flesh and blood horrors in our world that are much more terrifying than ghosts.

You have some very heavy music with some very dark themes. What inspired 'Suicide As Cleansing' as your album title?

I am depressed and have anxiety. What more is there to say? To answer your question, though, the title popped into my head one day. I remember I was reading something on social media about mental health and the act of suicide. Someone described suicide as an act of cleansing. That idea stuck with me and I thought about it for quite some time. I decided to use that in an overall positive way. I thought that since I was channeling my negative and destructive feeling into my music, I was attempting to kill myself. Attempting to kill a bad part of myself that I don't want to have to deal with all the time and thus conducting a cleansing of sorts. I wanted that to be the album title because it reflected the whole reason I was making the record. It doesn't help to keep those feelings bottled up cause they fester. I urge anyone who has suicidal or self harming thoughts to seek help. Talk to people; they will listen. You may feel like it doesn't help, but it does. I struggle, but I feel better when I know I'm safe to talk about it. Here's why I give my wife a huge shout-out for being so supportive and understanding!

What was the inspiration for your songs on 'Suicide As Cleansing'?

The inspiration for this whole record was feeling trapped and depressed. Modern day life appears to be doing that for younger generations these days. Waking up one day and realizing careers that you were dead set on are no longer sustainable. Seeing all of the political strife becoming more prominent and ruining friendly and familial relationships. We live in a very depressing world. I don't need to get into all the issues facing us but there are many and enough that are potentially world ending are enough, to make anyone uneasy. In that way I feel that genuine themes of feeling trapped, powerless, isolated and really angry are appropriate.

I would say "No Pride" is one of my favorites. The gallop of the drums, the riff! I feel myself rocking and swaying. Definitely banging my head!

Thanks! It might be my favorite song on the album. It was actually fun to record that one and I did it in far fewer takes than the other ones.

"Trapped In The Bass-Ment" is hypnotizing! It's almost a chance to catch your breath from the other six songs that precede it!

I appreciate the comments! The whole track was written and recorded in one sitting. I am a big fan of drone and ambient music so it seemed fitting. I felt that even I needed a break after "No Pride." It just hit me really hard in conjunction with all the earlier tracks. I worried it might be boring for people, but I silenced that voice. I try to make music for myself, but I really appreciate it when people like my work!

"Annihilate Me" is the equivalent of the musical Dim Mak! Nine-minutes-and-fifty-eight seconds of destruction! Tell me about this song.

"Annihilate Me" was written over a span of about three days. I was in the middle of a very depressive episode and I remember sitting down with my guitar and playing the heaviest, angriest, gnarliest stuff I could get out of it. There was no preconceived plan as to lyrics or vocals. After I recorded the guitars and drums, I screamed anything that came to mind. It was a very cathartic episode and I view it as the perfect ending to an unpleasant journey.

Where did the artwork for 'Suicide As Cleansing' come from? What does it mean to you?

The cover art is a photograph taken from my lovely wife, who gets another shout-out. We were hiking at the Englewood Metropark and we noticed the tree almost all by itself. She took a bunch of photos of it because it was cool and interesting, also creepy. One thing I remember clearly, was the tree's base was covered with these beautiful yellow flowers. In a way I felt it represented the album. The tree itself was dead and bare. It was a little unsettling especially in the photos my wife took. The fact that life had sprung from this dead tree seemed to fit this theme of killing a part of yourself or perhaps a rebirth.

Calculating the Cost of Existence by As I Die at My Desk

Your second album 'Calculating The Cost of Existence' (2019) came out in December. What can you tell us about the new project?

I will say in terms of sound, the new record came out with a different sound. It's a doomy, sludgey mess for sure. There are more introspective parts included. The music is expressing a greater array of feelings than the first.

Another one-man effort?

Yes, I did all the instruments again. As long as I possess the tools to do it, it certainly makes it easier in the creative process not having to deal with other personalities or egos on something so deeply personal to me. Now with that said, I don't mind collaborating or anything in the future.

Is that strenuous at times doing everything in the band?

The worst part about recording is I am not the best musician. It is strenuous when I have to perform everything and I am not that great. (laughs) My skills on guitar and drums are intermediate at best. I have played bass longer so I am a much more confident bass player than I am anything else but that's not saying a lot. It also doesn't help that I don't like the sound of my voice. I fancy myself as a composer, not a performer.

As I Die At My Desk is from Dayton Ohio right?

Yes, the band is based out of Dayton, where I have lived for most of my life so far.

What are some bands from Ohio you love?

To be honest, I don't know a ton of bands from Ohio. I will say I am a fan of Mouth of the Architect and Others by No One out of Dayton, Cloudkicker out of Columbus. Oh I can't forget Skeletonwitch!

Have you been to Ohio Doomed and Stoned Fest?

This might be shocking but I have never heard of Ohio Doomed and Stoned Fest. So no I haven't been but I am certainly interested now!

Will As I Die At My Desk play live or tour down the road?

Well, As I Die At My Desk will probably remain a studio entity. As I said I wouldn't be opposed to any kind of collaboration or possible touring but I don't have any plans for that at the moment. Now for my pretentious answer. As an artist I do not want to feel confined to any one medium as it exists. As I Die At My Desk was born out of specific life circumstances. As long as these circumstances provide emotional weight and depth for me, this project will continue. Once that source dries up(if it ever really does) then I will move on to a new project. As it stands I have a few other projects that I am working on that I can't discuss much yet. Stay tuned!

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[eun-binnies]

get to know me tag!

answer these questions then tag people you would like to get to know better!

thanks for tagging me bex @uwujpgs i love u lots n lots n lots oml one of my fav mutuals

nickname: san, sandy cheeks, sandy buttcheeks

height: the doctor says that i’m five foot eight but i’m closer to five foot nine with shoes on a daily basis LOL

time: wait what??? is it asking for the time rn bc it’s currently 3:32pm when i’m making this post (prob won’t be posted until a while later tho LOL)

fave bands/artists: this is a question i like to avoid LOL i listen to too many things so i’ll provide genres and then list out a few artists/bands/groups that i stan!

- kpop (of course): astro (ult), nct dream (a close second to astro), monsta x (a close third to nct dream LOL), gfriend, RED VELVET, sunmi && more!

- uhh... songs on the radio now / that were mainstream? (idk bro this is a “genre” comprising of MANY): billie eilish, migos, ariana grande (occasionally but not all the time), drake, aminé, etc etc y’all get the gist

- french (LOL IK): edith piaf, joe dassin, jacques brel, && more

- piano: shostakovich, beethoven, mozart, debussy, haydn && more

- broadway!!!!!!!: dear evan hansen and hamilton are my TOP two

you’re welcome y’all i basically summarized my entire spotify library

song stuck in my head: it’s always either dear diary by yeri or would u by red velvet like literally sm station songs are BOOOOPS.

last movie i saw: uhh... I DON’T REMEMBER LOL I USUALLY WATCH TV SHOWS AND SUCH

other blogs: oop it’s @ncitysofthourz i write blurbs n stuff on there shhhh

do i get asks: ehhh just once in a while LOL not quite often

why i chose this username: i chose eun-binnies because 1. i was a eunwoo & bin stan at first (because i started this blog after watching my id is gangnam beauty,,,, aka me being googly eyes for eunwoo and then finding astro) so i wanted to make my username about them! 2. it has a dash because .. apparently i thought it looked weird w/o it LOOOOL

following: like. 280-something? i don’t remember my bro aahha

what i’m wearing: soft cozy sweater w/ ripped jeans n some vans heh

dream job: ok actually like a pediatrician is like my. ACTUAL GOAL but if i had the opportunity to go into any field i want then i would choose to become a musician or a marine biologist !!!

favorite food: i really can’t choose. i’d eat almost anything LOL. maybe crab actually!

play any instruments: piano, violin, and some guitar!

hair color: brown but! i did have ombre tips at one point (yike middle school)

language you speak: english, vietnamese, french, and learning korean rn!

most iconic song: sorry sorry by super junior IS the MOST ICONIC song and anyone can fight me on that

random fact: i have sleep apnea so. sometimes i just stop breathing while sleeping OOPS (i promise i’m okay moots don’t worry)

describe yourself in aesthetic things: books on books on books, painting at a park, sitting in a cute coffee shop while doing hw, sleeping in, fairy lights, polaroids on the walls, & waves crashing (did i do this right???!!!)

so ! @astro-lovelies @enchanting-exo @just-an-aroha @teddybear-shownu @goldflare-web @soulclub (rae did u get tagged yet) and anyone else who wants to do it bc we ARE on 80 year old memory once again 

[rosyyeols]

helloooo @sweet-teeth-mfs tagged me a while ago to answer some q’s!

1. What takes up too much of your time?

Studying probably, also the 10 billion films I’m trying to watch

2. What makes your day better?

A hug from my best friend

3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today?

My final was EASY. Easy peasy. Got it in the bag

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

Edie said the smut world, which is absolutely ingenious and incredible, so I’ll take two of those

5. Are you good at giving advice?

No, not really :/

6. Do you have any mental illness?

I’ve never been officially diagnosed with anything so I’m gonna say no but I underwent a really rough patch a couple of years ago that involved undergoing testing for anxiety, and that’s all I really want to say about that.

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

A couple of times I think

8. What musician inspired you the most?

Tchaikovsky and Shostakovich! They’re really incredible musicians

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

Yeah and it was really unfortunate

10. What’s your dream date?

Oh god I have three.

1. A day at the amusement park, riding all the rollercoasters and feeding each other cotton candy, maybe kissing by the pier (there’s a very specific amusement park I have in mind for this)

2. A night stroll down a really nice square or an old-town kind of place, just window shopping and holding hands and chatting.

3. Movie night with tons of blankets, complete with multiple lazy makeout sessions and falling asleep on the couch.

11. What do others notice about you?

Uhhh probably my weird ass teeth or my acne. Or probably my laugh because it’s super loud

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

I’m kind of a flake. I’ve been getting a lot better about it but my social anxiety used to be super super bad and I wouldn’t go anywhere or cancel at the last second

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

No because I don’t waste my time on assholes

14. How many exes do you have?

5

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

Oh god. I have very many little playlists but my whole library is probably 12+ hours

16. What instruments can you play?

Violin and ukulele, and a teensy bit of piano

17. What do you have the most pictures of?

Screenshots and quick pics of my notes LOL other than that probably selfies

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

Paris! And I’m probably going to in the next few years because my best friend in moving there in December

19. What is your zodiac?

Gemini

20. Do you relate to it?

No. I connect more with Cancer

21. What is happiness to you?

Wanting to wake up in the morning

22. Are you going through anything right now?

Just exams, really. Had a bit of a falling out with a friend but whatever/

23 What’s the worst decision you ever made?

Genuinely believe it’s taking a certain class that I have a final project due for next week. Barely started. :)

24. What’s your favorite store?

This boba place (instagram peeps know it as my sadness cafe)

25. What’s your opinion on abortion?

I will never have one but the act of having one is a choice that only the woman can make and should be respected and carried out safely

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

I do one year to year, but not really a huge “Before I Die” list.

27. Do you have a favorite album?

Atlas: Space by Sleeping at Last is my alltime

28. What do you want for your birthday?

A new laptop pls this one is taking its dying breaths

29. What are most people’s first impression of you?

A lot of people think I’m really shy and once I talk a lot of people think I’m super kind. Which is like... not entirely untrue but I say ‘fuck’ a lot and talk about sex and I’m not sure how synonymous those traits are with ‘kind’

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

I’ve heard 18-20, which is about right

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

Literally right next to me

32. What word do you say the most?

Probably... fuck. Or ‘like’.

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

Uh to be honest like 10 years older than me

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

One year younger than me is the furthest I’ll go

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

I’ve always been told something in the general therapy area or a writer

36. What’s your favorite music genre?

Definitely pop or r&b

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

I’ve been in the US my whole life and can’t imagine being anywhere else, but France is looking like a nice option right about now

38. What is your current favorite song?

I’d have to say the whole new Billie Eilish album, ‘The Killing Kind’ by Marianas Trench, and ‘In Case You Don’t Live Forever’ by Ben Platt

39. How long have you had this blog for?

Since December

40. What are you excited for?

Summer and writing smut again!

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

Listener definitely

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

Study

43. What do you want for Christmas?

Is money an acceptable answer?

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

Anything having to do with English and History

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

5

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years?

God I hope I’m a psychiatrist and I’m having sex on the regular

47. When did you get your first heartbreak?

I was fourteen

48. What age do you want to get married?

God, I don’t know. Late 20s?

29. What career did you want to have as a child?

Actress

50. What do you crave right now?

Sleep. And a movie.

Not sure who’s done it but I’ll tag @junemyeon @yeoldontknow @whitenoise-exo @suhoerections and anyone who’s followed me within the past month! I wanna get to know yall, sorry I’ve been absent.

[imnothinginparticular]

#finishedbooks The Symphony by various. Found this at #thebookthingofbaltimore , a mid/century Pelican (non-fiction branch of Penguin at one point) edition of a collection of essays on symphonic composers. Think in 2013 I had a few random symphonies by Dvorák and Tchaikovsky that I used pretentiously as background music whenever I read Russian literature (the former isn't even Russian lols). In 2016, I read Dr. Faustus and to get the finer points of the dialogue required some knowledge on the symphony and so I tried again by watching some documentaries and teaching myself the structuring, history, and its development...and immediately fell in love completely with Beethoven, appreciated Schubert's unfinished and his 9th, liked Mozart's last two, some of Haydn's London Symphonies, and the literary symphonies of Liszt and Berlioz and kinda just stayed within the realm of those. It has always been daunting as was jazz since none of my schools had music programs so I have no training at all in reading it, etc. I randomly at 25 took up trumpet for two years and had a hard time keeping up with everyone else because I couldn't read music and ended up making a system of shapes to represent the fingering patterns on the trumpet that probably proved as useless and needlessly complex had I just learned to read. But this fact always handicapped me (finally sold the trumpet to fix my Leica) so with this book and those documentaries it has been fun to just develop my ear by going to Apple music over the past months reading a composer's chapter at a time, following their symphonies as I read while listening for what was suggested. And that proved effective as it was fun and could immediately appreciate say the spaciousness of Bruckner, loathed the tacked on quality of Mahler's choral attempts, and felt that because Tchaikovsky came from the ballet that a lot of his earlier symphonies struggled to develop ideas beyond his first movements as they just taper off till about his 4th. I can now not fully but more clearly hear why Beethoven in the symphonic form was far superior to anyone before or after. One thing I noticed that I didn't like was that because it was written in the 50s in the US, "Soviet" composer Shostakovich was just flat out ignored even though he had to fight being purged to make true music under Stalin as he was attacked as the vanguard of his medium like Eisenstein in film and Bulgakov was in literature. His symphonies are my favorite right after Beethoven. Also was interesting to see how the reputation of certain symphonies have changed over the last 70 years, Berlioz's Symphonie Fantastique was heavily criticized in this book for its over "technical-ness", where modern critics praise it precisely for that (as do I), but was none the less interesting to see how not the music but how we change towards it. P.S. Fully convinced had I stayed with the trumpet...I would still suck at it lol.