#forbes you are now my mortal enemy

[genericfilmquote]

NO BUT SAME HAT THAT FORBES ARTICLE HAD ME FUMING

I love how every yellowjackets fan knows exactly what article this without from just the headline 😂 I sent it to someone else and they were immediately like 'saw this forbes is bullshit'! But honestly it was a dumb article, in my opinion season 2 has more than stepped up to the mark! The addition of Simone Kessell alone has been well worth it, really not seeing this supposed dip in quality 🤷‍♀️

[youwouldmissmeinyourbones]

I'm fairly new to Klaroline. There are so many incredible looking fics, it's hard to know where to start. What would you rec as the absolute must-read fics in the fandom? Any length, any rating. Thanks!

Welcome to our crazy little corner of the internet! We are definitely blessed with a lot of amazing fics, so I'll summarise my absolute favourites for you!

These are all on ao3, so please make sure you check the tags/ warnings before reading because I'm not sure what you're comfortable with. You'll also need an account on ao3 to read some of these if you don't already have one.

You may have already seen me raving about make them bow, which is absolutely amazing.

Other than that, we have:

Everything, Everything by Anyaparadox

Caroline and Klaus wake up human in another reality due to a spell. Oh, and they're married, which is absolutely the worst, until it isn't.

This fic was beautifully domestic, and the bitter-sweet ending has me in tears every time I read it. This is 100% one of my favourite fics EVER and I would go as far as to say it's the fic on this list I most highly recommend.

Words: 68, 491

Colored You In by @lalainajanes

AH-AU. Kol's broke (he scammed his trust executor, but don't ask, okay?). Elijah's playing the tough love card, Rebekah has no room (and Kol doesn't want to overhear his little sister having sex, thank you). And Klaus? Klaus will murder Kol inside a week if they're forced to live together. Caroline had a spare bedroom (now that Stefan's moved in with Rebekah) and Rebekah knows Caroline's weaknesses. A pair of Louboutin's and two days later Kol's moving in. It might be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Or possible the making of two mortal enemies. Time will tell. But suddenly Klaus is always around. Planted on her couch, offering snarky commentary, eating their food. Seriously, who invited him?

I'm not the hugest fan of AH AU's but this would have to be one of my favourites. It's hilarious and showcases relationships between all of the characters. (Especially Kol and Caroline, which you've gotta love)

Words: 85, 440

Someone That'll Look Like You by @cupcakemolotov

When Caroline Forbes finds herself barreling down the highway with no real memory other than her name, her only clue is the dead body in her backseat. To complicate matters, she's pretty sure that body isn't human. And neither is she.

This fic is super sweet with a healthy dose of Carenzo friendship for good measure.

Words: 23, 214

Sweet Present of the Present by VintageLilac

Time was a human constraint, and Caroline was immortal. Klaus had told her to explore humanity, to do all the thing she wanted in life, and he also told her it wouldn't be enough. She hated that he was right. And so when Rebekah Mikaelson showed up on her doorstep, asking her to take Klaus' daughter, Caroline said yes. -- In which Caroline raises Hope while New Orleans is at war.

Although this fic is absolutely fantastic, you should probably note that it's still ongoing (we're at 21/25 chapters right now) so if you only like to read completed fics you'll want to hold off a bit longer on that one. The author is still updating though so I don't think you need to worry about it being abandoned.

Words: 133, 068 (as of right now)

This is a Harvest by but_seriously

“Ask me to choose you, Caroline,” Klaus continues heatedly, “go ahead, and I will, with everything that I have. But in return, you’re going to have to do the one thing you’ve been fighting since the night I sat on your bedside and fed you my blood. You’re going to have to choose me back. It’s only fair,” and he spits these last words out.

I haven't read this one in a while but I remember really enjoying it so I've added it in. Really, I would suggest taking a look at everything by this author.

Words: 20, 104

I hope this list helps you find something you enjoy. There are so many talented writers out there and a bunch of them just happen to churn out the most amazing stuff for us to read!

[averseunhinged]

guess what. it's wip wednesday. SHUT UP IT IS IF I SAY SO.

this is from the next chapter of and all that i've learned is everything burns and the rewritten version of this sentence. there's a kind of rough snippet with bonnie from earlier in the chapter right here. i wanted to give actual klaroline this week, but literally every scene between them in this fic has declared me its mortal enemy, and we must fight to the death, for there can be only one.

caroline didn't grow up in mystic falls but she's in town because of Reasons after the death of sheriff bill forbes. that is still the plot and we're slowly moving toward the why of it all. so, here's matt donovan! fun fact: he was turned by katherine in place of caroline in the original 7429475 versions of this, and it didn't work for a bunch of reasons, but mostly because i love the secret good matt who lives in my head and didn't want secret good matt to stake himself. normal matt kind of can go ahead and do that, tho. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"Top shelf vodka, Grey Goose if you have it," Caroline compelled the blond bartender, "and Coke with a splash of grenadine and four,” holding up four fingers to emphasize the number, “cherries, please."

“I don’t know. That’s a lot of cherries.” He was adorable and very much not compelled when he grinned a toothpaste commercial smile at her and replied, "Caroline, right? Bonnie said you'd probably come by. I’m Matt Donovan."

She groaned and gripped the edge of the bar, rolling her head along with her eyes and stomped her boot. "Seriously?"

"Seriously. You can have two drinks, maximum. You pay for them and tip well," he offered and shook a highball glass at her, raising his eyebrows.

"Deal," she agreed with a pout, unbuttoning her coat and shaking it off her shoulders, "and obviously, I'm going to pay. What kind of jerk compels stuff when they don't have to?"

"Try every jerk in this town,” Matt groaned and scooped ice into the glass.

"Well, not me,” Caroline reassured and slid onto one of the tall bar chairs. “My mom's head would explode if I even thought about it, and believe me, she would know. She always knows."

"Not much of a troublemaker, huh?” he queried in that casually interested, but undemanding way good bartenders always seemed to develop. “Are you sure you want top shelf in this? Not trying to talk myself out of a better tip, but you probably wouldn’t be able to taste the difference with all that sugar.”

"Okay, now I know it’s vervain and not the other one, because Smirnoff tastes like rubbing alcohol, now that I’ve,” Caroline waved her hand indistinctly before leaning forward and folding her arms across the bar, “other oned. And Mom totally is a troublemaker! Except her kind of trouble is overthrowing a two-hundred-year-old vampire's oppressive political regime like she's Jean Valjean. I just went to a frat party when I was fifteen."

Matt laughed, dropping exactly four cherries on top of her drink with obvious aplomb. "Your mother went to prison for stealing a loaf of bread?"

"Well. Sort of. It wasn't real prison, and it was because she killed a vampire who was trying to murder a witch, because she wouldn't do some spell for him. Mom was only in there a week before Enzo broke her out, and they came away with a ton of new witchy friends and babysitters for me.” Caroline shrugged. “So, all’s well that ends well."

[phoenixfeatherquill]

Chop and Change (10/15)

Chapter 9

“All Soul’s Night”

Caroline’s eyelids fluttered.  There was a dark shape bending over her—instinctively her body shot forward and she snarled, barely conscious.  

Alaric raised his hands.  “It’s all right, Caroline. You’re safe in here.”

She shivered at his voice.  It didn’t feel that long ago that Alaric had died—and even less time since he’d murdered her father.  And now they were at the same house?  She supposed it made sense that Alaric was in the spirit world—he wasn’t a mortal any longer—but it was nevertheless disconcerting.

“Daddy,” Caroline croaked. “Are—”

“I’m here, baby,” Bill Forbes said soothingly. “It’s all right.”

He was next to Alaric.  She seemed to be in a living room or parlor.  Everything seemed off-color, like a faded photograph.  A sepia tone overlay her surroundings.

She rubbed her eyes, slowly coming to.  “Where—what is this place?”

“It’s a little hard to explain,” Alaric said gently. “I think the short version would be to say that the underworld is a shifting dimension—there are pockets, kind of valleys where things can’t affect you. Your furies can’t reach you.”

“Furies?” Caroline blinked.

“Tormenters,” Bill crossed his arms. “The supernatural live in a sort of purgatory, they…I guess pay for any evil they committed against others. Especially humans.”

“I see,” She said slowly. “So my furies…they’re the witches. Among other things…” Given that line of logic, she might have quite the list of furies.  

Her eyes widened. “Wait—if an Original is here—” His furies would be overwhelmingly cruel and unrelenting.  Her stomach curled in fear for Klaus.

Alaric sighed while her father’s expression hardened.  “I’m surprised you’re so concerned about Klaus.”  

She shifted as she tried to think of a response.  Her heart was hammering, thinking about Klaus alone in this place…how many “furies” could he have accumulated by now?  Her heart lurched as she tried to think of how to respond to her father.

“I don’t like unpaid debts,” Caroline finally said, carefully. “He’s done a lot of terrible things. But he’s also saved my life. And I can’t forget that.”

Bill opened his mouth to argue the point but Alaric cut him off.

“Regardless,” He cleared his throat. “We need to get you out of here. And quickly, before the door closes.”

“Trust me, I do not want to be here,” Caroline said firmly. “But I can’t leave without Klaus!”  

As if on cue, there was a knock at the door.  Bill’s teeth gritted and he nodded curtly towards Alaric, who sighed upon approaching the door.

He opened the door and Klaus glared at him with a frightening sort of pleasantry.

“Hello,” He said through bared teeth. “It appears that mortal rules work in this godforsaken place. I would greatly appreciate it if you would invite me in.”

“Klaus,” Caroline elbowed her way past Alaric, a wave of relief washing over her. “Good. Come in—the witches didn’t get you?”

“I actually came across some other enemies,” Klaus stepped across the threshold, assessing Caroline quickly. “But never fear, love. Here I am, safe and sound.”

She exhaled impatiently.  “We need to get out of here. Alaric says the doors are closing soon.”

“Right,” Klaus nodded. “Not to mention, Lalaurie has had ample time to marshal her forces. New Orleans won’t be quite as charming once we’ve returned…”

“Both of you, come with me,” Alaric ordered. “I know a way out.”

Caroline turned towards her father.  “Daddy? Are you coming?”

He shook his head.  “I’m going to provide a distraction. Be safe, Care Bear.”

Her eyes widened.  “Daddy…what are you—”

“Don’t worry about me,” He hugged her tenderly, gruffly kissing her forehead. “I love you, baby. You’ll be okay.”

Klaus watched this exchange with an inscrutable expression.  Alaric cleared his throat politely.  

Caroline wiped her eyes.  “Let’s go.”

XXXX

Alaric led them out of the house.  The false air was oddly still and Caroline immediately felt nauseous.   She dug her fingers into her palms, breathing deeply.  She would not faint.  

“What about the others?” Caroline asked suddenly. “Elijah and Rebekah? And Kylie…”

“If we’re lucky,” Klaus growled, his hand tightening around her palm—he was holding her hand, she suddenly realized—“Kyle has been torn to pieces for her betrayal. But that may be wishful thinking. As for my siblings…”  

His expression darkened and Caroline impulsively squeezed his hand. His eyes met hers and she shivered a little.  If they continued like this…how long could she hold off?  Their connection washed over her in waves and she knew eventually, it would rip her away from her senses.

“Here,” Alaric stopped and Caroline broke her gaze from Klaus.  They were surrounded by raised graves of stone, all of varying shapes and sizes.  She licked her lips uncertainly, trying to place it.  

“St. Louis Cemetery,” Klaus hummed a little. “Well done, Alaric. The veil is thin here—we’ll be able to return.”

Alaric nodded.  “Notice how these graves look like doorways?” He asked grimly. “There’s a reason for that.”

Caroline blinked.  “You’re saying…if we crawl through these graves, we’ll wake up on the other side? Any one of them?”

“I’m afraid so,” Alaric exhaled slowly. “And there is a lot coming into your world right now…spirits, gods, monsters…you better hurry.”

Caroline turned to Klaus.  “What about Rebekah and Elijah?”

“I can lead them here,” Alaric said quickly. “But they may already be over. Like I said…things are passing through as we speak.”

His face went stony and he raised his hand, pointing past Caroline and Klaus. The two turned and Klaus staggered in shock.  Kol Mikaelson was grinning at them.

XXXX

“Rebekah!” Elijah shouted. “Rebekah! Caroline! Niklaus!”

There was no answer.  Growling in frustration, he concentrated, trying to hone his senses.  He thought he sensed Rebekah, calling out to him, but he couldn’t be sure.  The spirit world was sure to have phantom calls, meant to lead the unwary astray...

He would have to trust that they could get out on their own.  Caroline and Klaus had been linked; they had their mating bond to fall back on—Elijah was sure that Klaus would be able to track her down wherever she winded up.  He could only pray that Rebekah could find her way out as well…

Something brushed against his skin.  He roared, turning around, snarling and froze.

Katerina Petrova smiled at him.  

He gaped at her stupidly.  Was it…truly her?  Her smile sparkled in the fading light and he could not seem to stop himself from reaching out to touch her cheek.  She closed her eyes at his touch.

“Elijah,” She purred. “I’ve missed you so.”

“Can it truly be you?”

“Of course!” She stepped nearer to him and rose on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “I’ve longed for you…waited for you in this awful place. But now that you’re here…we can leave together.”

The urge to take her into his arms was overwhelming.  He wanted to so badly it ached.  But her words revealed the truth.  

“There’s nothing I’d like more,” Elijah said softly. “But you…are not my Katerina.”

Her pretty smile faltered.  The longer he looked at her, the more her edges blurred.  Katerina was all sharp angles and pretty blades; this…illusion…was a cheap and colorless imitation.  The fact was, if Katerina were somewhere in this world and she sensed the door open…she would not waste time trying to find him.  She would be first out the door.

“A fury…the fury set to torment me. How very…apropos.”  

The false Katerina blinked at him in brief confusion.  Then her blurred features hardened.

“Does it matter, Elijah?” She stroked his upper arm intimately and he flinched at her warmth.

“Of course it matters,” He spat and jerked away from her.  She chuckled in a low and husky voice.  She circled him like a vulture.  

“I sense your exhaustion, Elijah. You tire of the mortal world…it’s palpable. Why not stay? Stay with me and forget the trials you endured on the mortal plane. Allow yourself to slip into sweet oblivion, wrapped in my arms…”

There was a brief and shining moment where Elijah hesitated.  He was shamed by the intense temptation that swarmed around him, how a part of him badly wanted to rest eternally with this false Katerina.  But before he could rebuff her a final time, Katerina stiffened.  Her neck twisted unpleasantly and she crumpled to the ground. Rebecca stood behind her, looking bored and petulant.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” She remarked. “Elijah. I’m bored of this place. Shall we go home?”

Elijah was only too happy to agree.

XXXX

“Gods,” Klaus swore. “Please tell me the whole damn family isn’t at your heels.”

Kol laughed uproariously.  “My heels? Oh, big brother…I lingered, simply for the sweet pleasure of seeing your face again. And seeing your face as I cross the borders back into the mortal world…”

“Oh, no you don’t,” Caroline snarled. “You’re staying right where you are.”

“Caroline!” Kol seemed genuinely pleased to see her. “Hand in hand with Klaus. I always thought you two were meant for each other. And really, sweet Caroline, what on earth do you intend to do stop me? There are openings to the mortal world everywhere.”

“And what?” Klaus bared his teeth. “You intend to stop us from crossing over?”

“Now, what would the fun in that be?” Kol wondered aloud. “I came to give you a warning, big brother. The whole family is not at my heels but they will be at yours. They have all crossed over to the mortal realm. Father, mother, Freya, Finn…”

Klaus stared at him stone-faced.

“Anyway, that’s all I had to say,” Kol mockingly checked his wrist for an imaginary watch. “See you on the other side, brother.”

He turned away from them and stepped through the grave.  Klaus stared after him, seemingly immobile, until Caroline tugged at his arm.

“Klaus,” She sighed and closed her eyes. “One thing at a time, okay?”

“They’ll come after us,” Klaus muttered. “They’ll come after me.”

“Then we’ll face them together. But we need to get on the other side before the door closes. Quickly!”

His face shifted when she said the word ‘together’.  Caroline almost wished she hadn’t said it.  She had promised herself a long time ago she would never again entangle herself up in the Mikaelson family.  They didn’t even know what family meant, too busy on killing and avenging each other every century or so.  

But who was she kidding?  The moment she’d said yes to Rebekah, she was inveigling herself again.  And as long as she shared this connection to Klaus—this bond, this relationship, this mating—she was involved among them.  

She squeezed his hand and they stepped through the doorway to the mortal world.

XXXX

New Orleans was dark as pitch.

It was wrong.  Even at 3:00AM, New Orleans was a city of color, lights and parties illuminated every street, music on every corner, bars open until the dawn peeked over the Mississippi.  But the city was deadly silent as Caroline and Klaus walked out of the cemetery, still hand in hand.  

“Where are Elijah and Rebekah?” Caroline whispered.  

“We’ll find them,” Klaus inhaled deeply. “I can smell them. They’re not far.”

“Thank God they made it out,” Caroline said in relief.  She blinked suddenly and turned towards Klaus.

“I never thanked you,” She cleared her throat. “For coming after me.”

He looked at her in surprise.  “Did you think I wouldn’t?”

She smiled suddenly.  “No. I knew you would.”

There was a terrible howling cry in the distance.  Caroline did not recognize it; it was neither vampire nor werewolf, something more evil and more ancient.  She could smell the darkness of the underworld cloaking the city.  It was crawling with monsters and spirits.  And it was very likely they would not make it out of this one alive.  

She wished Elena was with them.  Her friend had such a way of comforting her, calming her down, assuring her that everything would be all right.  But…this wasn’t Elena’s story.  This was Caroline’s.  Caroline’s and Klaus’.  

“Caroline,” Klaus said quietly.  She looked up at him and his eyes met her gaze intently.  

“You don’t have to be here,” He told her.

She shook her head.  “Don’t start that crap, Klaus. No noble ‘protecting me for my own good’ crap. None of that Salvatore nonsense. I’m here with you and I’m not going anywhere. We’re in this together.”

“Together…” Klaus mused.  He lifted her palm to his lips and kissed it.  She felt butterflies dance against her chest.

“I rather…like the sound of that,” He murmured. “But this may be the end of our time together. Are you ready?”

Caroline thought for a moment.  Impulsively, she dropped his hand and raised herself on her tiptoes.  She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his.

She could taste his surprise.  But she didn’t care.  It felt good to kiss him, and it had been far too long.  God, she loved the feel of him, the way his hands traced her back, how he tasted of cloves and woodsmoke.  

She broke away from him before she could get to lost in the sensations.  “Now I am. Let’s find your siblings.”

She took his hand again and they disappeared into the night.  

[theworkofxanderking]

The Originals: Bad Blood (The Alternative Season 5)

Episode 1 - Bad Blood: Before and After

Warnings: I do not own the original content to “The Originals”, “The Vampire Diaries” or “Legacies” or any of the characters from the television shows.

15 plus, displays of Violence, Gore, Torture, M/M, F/M, F/F.

After the Hollow: Year One

Rebekah just stood there from a distance in the bayou as she looked over to see people gathered round on chairs late at night, fairy lights dangling on the trees and an altar made from white roses. Standing at the altar was her brother Kol in a fitting black suit and his bride Davina wearing a lace material wedding dress that Rebekah found simply beautiful which was quite the task considering Rebekah’s large wedding dress collection.

She looked over to the few people gathered around them noticing Marcel, Freya, Josh and Keelin knowing how much it meant for Marcel to be there for his adopted daughter Davina’s wedding day even if he didn’t like her choice of groom. Rebekah was pleasantly surprised to see Freya there with her girlfriend Keelin knowing of her troubled history with Davina and how huge it must’ve been for Davina to allow her to be there after everything.

She was desperate to vamp speed over to them all, congratulate her brother, welcome her new sister and catch up with her older sister but she knew if she got any closer to Kol the effects of The Hollow would quickly begin to appear and that was something that nobody wanted to happen so she had to make due watching from afar the first of her siblings get married.

Lost in her emotions as tears began falling from her eyes while the wedding ceremony ended, she started to notice Marcel missing from the crowd before feeling a rush of wind before Marcel appeared right in front of her.

“I had a feeling you wouldn’t be able to miss a good wedding.” He said to her with a sly smirk on his face.

“Considering I never got to attend any of my own failed wedding plans I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to watch at least one of my siblings get a happy ending.” Rebekah replied while trying to hide her hurt at seeing her former flame.

“I was all ready to give you your happy ending and you rejected me.” Marcel responded with a tone of sadness over what could’ve been. “This could’ve been us Rebekah.”

“Oh, Marcel I have missed you,” Rebekah admitted as she placed her hand on his cheek before quickly removing it. “but I’ve given up on this ever being a reality for me.”

“Have you heard from Klaus?” Marcel asked while changing the topic to hide his own heartbreak.

“Nobody’s heard from Niklaus for once in his life he has decided to live quietly which worries more than if he were going from town to town slaughtering his way to happiness.” Rebekah revealed.

It had been one whole year since Rebekah had been face to face with any of her brothers following the four originals possessing The Hollow in order to protect their beloved Hope. She had wanted a life free from Klaus and his torment for so long, but her freedom now came at a time when she needed him most because without Klaus, Elijah or Kol she was completely and utterly alone.

Before the Blood

Klaus’ life was a miserable existence under the reign of his ruthless father Mikael who was filled with hate especially for him the only time Klaus ever got any happiness was when he retreated deep into the woods of Mystic Falls to meet the love of his human life.

While his brother Elijah was busy romancing Tatia Petrova Klaus found himself hiding in the woods with a fellow native of Mystic Falls.

Nathaniel was a mere mortal or, so he was led to believe back then who had been taken in at a young age by Ayana following his mother’s brutal murder at the hands of his own father. He had grown up with the Mikaelson’s and was close friends with Rebekah, Kol, Elijah and even Finn but it was Klaus who owned his heart and Nathaniel owned his.

Nathaniel grew tired of Mikael’s twisted and brutal ways towards Klaus and often begged that the two of them ran away together but Klaus would never have left his family especially his beloved sister Rebekah and it was his love for his sister that would be the undoing of Klaus and Nathaniel.

“We could have more than stolen moments in the day if we just left this place.” Nathaniel said to Klaus as he was pushed up against a tree within the woods as Klaus’ body pressed against his.

“You know I can never leave my family despite how many times I may consider it.” Klaus replied to him before going to kiss Nathaniel who moves his head out of the way rejecting Klaus’ kiss.

“I think it’s time to call an end to all this.” Nathaniel told him as he brushed Klaus off him. “I love you Niklaus, I love you with all my heart but there is no happiness here. I’m leaving on a boat tomorrow whether you choose to join me or not is up to you.”

“You cannot just leave; Ayana would be devastated to see you go.” Klaus pleaded. “I’d be devastated if you were to go. I love you too Nathaniel, stay I beg you.”

“This place is miserable Niklaus it’s making you miserable no happiness can ever be found on this land.” Nathaniel said as tears began forming in his eyes as they both realized this was their end. “I’ll miss you Niklaus, always and forever will you be in my heart, always and forever.”

“I need to get back to my family.” Klaus replied with clear devastation on his face knowing there was nothing more to be said.

Nathaniel was Niklaus’ first love and first heartbreak but this wasn’t the last time he’d see Nathaniel the last time being what would change Niklaus forever.

After the Hollow: Year Two

Elijah had learned the hard way at a bar one night not long after being compelled that he was a vampire after slaughtering everyone in that bar and over the two years he had met the odd vampire, but none quite like him. He had no idea why he was different to the other vampires he met, nor did he want to know thanks to part of Marcel’s compulsion.

In the two years since Elijah had Marcel compel his memories away with the help of Vincent Griffith’s magical assistance Elijah had found himself living a new life in a small village located in France living a simple life that was almost perfection the only thing stopping it from being perfect was Elijah’s blood lust.

He often found himself strolling the streets late at night looking for easy prey to drain off blood even though he had learned not to kill his victim and compel their memories of their encounter Elijah still didn’t like the feeding process but one night his need for blood took him to a strange encounter with someone he couldn’t remember knowing.

He had stalked this brunette beauty for several streets now before following down a dark alleyway before being surprised when she turns around with a smirk on his face making it clear she had played the role of prey to lure him to be alone with her.

“You know if you liked the look of me so much you could’ve just came up to me. I’m guessing you’re the shy type.” She said to him.

“I’m sorry about this.” Elijah apologised as his eyes turned bloodshot vamp style.

“Yeah I’m sorry too.” She replied before chanting in Croatian and lifting her hand magically snapping Elijah’s neck in the process and forcing him to fall to the ground completely lifeless. “You made this far too easy Elijah Mikaelson.”

Elijah had just been lured into a trap by Raven Devereaux a distant cousin of Sophie Devereaux who was far from close to her family having left them many years ago due to what she considered their barbaric practices in order to keep the New Orleans witch ancestors happy but she still continued Sophie family and wanted revenge.

She knew she was a mere witch who stood no chance of killing an original vampire but she also heard the rumors about Elijah having no memory of who he was and after spending the last few weeks stalking the noble Mikaelson sibling those rumors were proven right.

Raven knew Elijah was escaping the harsh and painful reality that comes with being a Mikaelson and was determined to remind him exactly who he was even if she couldn’t break Marcel’s compulsion she’d find a way to make Elijah know all about who he was and the family he left behind seeing him being forced to remember as some kind of torture not knowing it would bring the two enemies together in a way neither would have expected.

After the Hollow: Year Three

New Orleans had become a different city in the last three years since Klaus Mikaelson left and if she had any communication with him Hayley would’ve loved to tell him that she preferred the differences in place.

Her and Klaus’ daughter Hope was excelling at the Salvatore School under Alaric Saltzman and Caroline Forbes’ supervision, but Hayley remained in New Orleans fully claiming her title as werewolf queen and with the help of Marcel reformed the factions in order to restore peace within the city.

As werewolf queen Hayley was only fitting to be the head of the werewolf faction and with Marcel being powerful enough to take down even an original nobody argued as he became the head of the vampire faction.

Vincent Griffith and Freya Mikaelson were among the top picks for being the head of the witch faction but Freya declined fearing her being a Mikaelson name would cause backlash for her and her werewolf fiancé Keelin preferring to live a quieter life instead and Vincent never got the chance to reprieve his title due to him being murdered with his killer never being found.

After finding the head of the human faction Hayley was determined to find a witch powerful to hold their own amongst them with strong enough principles to make sure they were doing right by their own kind. Hayley knew a witch from her past who stuck by her principles despite the cost and the cost was usually her own life this witch sacrificed everything for the people she cared for and that’s what made her perfect for the job in question. She just had to convince the witch to move her life to New Orleans become a New Orleans witch and set up home in a city once belonging to a man she loathed.

Hayley got Bonnie Bennet’s location from Caroline Forbes having become friends with Caroline over the years having got over their little feud from back in the day. She wasted no time in catching a flight to Las Vegas which was a stop in many locations Bonnie had been visiting over the years since leaving Mystic Falls behind in her quest to tour the world.

“Firstly, I’m only speaking to you because Caroline literally begged me and secondly you must be pretty desperate to come to me for any kind of help. Klaus hates me and the feeling is mutual.” Bonnie said upon meeting Hayley at the front door of her hotel room before inviting her in.

“Okay I guess we’re just going straight in then. Caroline begged you to meet me as she knows how important this is to me. New Orleans has seen many wars upon the supernatural factions for far too long and Marcel and I are working really hard on bringing peace to the city.” Hayley replied as the two women walked over to a couch and sat down. “Besides Klaus hasn’t been seen in New Orleans for a long time and as far as I know he or his siblings aren’t coming back anytime soon.”

“I’ve never even been to New Orleans let alone want to live the rest of my life there or live there until Klaus inevitably makes his grand return and I have to either put him down again or get going.” Bonnie said to her making her disinterest for the job clear.

“From what I remember Klaus always had a bit of a soft spot for Caroline, so I doubt he’d go too far in angering her best friend. Which is another reason to why I want you to come to New Orleans. Whether Klaus returns or not the city comes first, and I believe you will be as fearless as me in telling Klaus exactly that if he ever does return.” Hayley admitted to her. “These witches need somebody fighting in their corner Bonnie and you’re the only person I trust to fight for them.”

Bonnie was far from thrilled at the prospect of living in New Orleans or one day possibly having to face her old enemy Klaus once again but one thing she was always a sucker for was people in need.

Bonnie had come a long way in terms of her witchcraft from her days of living in Mystic Falls and was definitely experienced enough to become the head of a witch faction knowing taking the position would make her grams proud plus Hayley made a very convincing case and if Caroline trusted her that made her a person worth trusting. That logic worked for everyone except Klaus Mikaelson.

After the Hollow: Year Four

A lot had changed for Elijah in the years that passed since he first met and was assaulted and kidnapped by Raven Devereaux. In the two years that had passed the two enemies had found themselves going from enemies to friends to lovers.

Raven started out teaching Elijah bloody history lessons about his own family torturing him by the savage truth about the Mikaelson’s and about himself from what she had learned and heard over the years only to find herself feeling sorry for him as she started to see his genuine remorse.

From there they became allies in vampire hunting as Elijah vowed to take out any vampires who had harmed humans with Raven’s magical assistance as the double act became quite the feared force amongst the supernatural making a name for themselves as formidable hunters.

It wasn’t before the two of them working close quarters led to passion between the Devereaux witch and the original vampire their love reaching to a dramatic inclusion that even Raven herself was not expecting.

“I never grow tired of this.” Elijah said to Raven as he ripped out the heart of a male vampire throwing it to the ground as his victim’s body also fell while out in the middle of the woods.

“I’ve got to admit this wasn’t what I’d be expecting we would be doing two years after meeting.” Raven replied while walking towards Elijah who had pulled out a handkerchief from his suit and began wiping his hand clean of blood.

“What exactly did you expect us to be doing?” Elijah asked in a seductive tone as he grabbed a hold of Raven and pulled him in towards her.

“With you or me winding up killing the other more than likely you kill me.” Raven answered before kissing Elijah on the lips.

“Well I’m very glad neither happened.” He said before kissing Raven passionately. “I think we’re ready Raven.”

“Ready for what?” Raven wondered while beginning to undo the buttons on Elijah’s shirt to expose his naked chest.

“To take down my family once and for all.” He revealed instantly bringing fear to Raven’s face.

“Elijah they can’t die, and neither can you so going up against them will only end in me being the one winding up dead.” Raven said to him hoping to change his mind clearly terrified of the idea of meeting her boyfriend’s family.

“Don’t worry I will make sure that neither will lay a hand on you.” He promised while loving stroking her face with his right hand. “Besides I have a plan that they’ll never see coming.”

Raven may have become an experienced hunter in the last two years and before that she was keen to take on one original but the idea of taking them all on with only an amnesia struck Elijah on her side had her completely terrified but there was no talking Elijah out of this plan.

A man who would once go to extreme lengths for his family was now willing to go to extreme lengths to wipe them off the face of the earth.

After the Blood

Nathaniel had planned to leave Mystic Falls behind forever that day willing to sail away to some new life about the lands that his neighbors had settled on not knowing what that day would bring as he sadly left it far too late to get away because the night before Esther had turned Mikael and their children into original vampires following the tragic death of their youngest child Henrik.

As the originals struggled to come to terms with their newfound blood lust Nathaniel and the only mother he ever knew Ayana took to the woods hoping Ayana’s children had managed to also escape the Mikaelson’s terror not knowing that neither of them would make it out of those woods alive.

“Go on without me Nathaniel.” Ayana told him as she stopped running clearly struggling to catch her breath. “I can’t run any longer.”

“You’ve got to keep going Ayana your children are going to need you once we get out of here.” Nathaniel pleaded with her through deep breaths of his own making it clear the running had also took its toll on him. “I need you.”

Kol vamp sped past Nathaniel coming from a distance as he threw Nathaniel to the ground before vamp speeding over to Ayana and beginning to tear at her neck with his mouth clearly desperate for more blood.

“No!” Nathaniel screamed in pure terror as he raised to his feet while Ayana’s lifeless body hit the ground.

“I’m so sorry.” Kol replied as his vamp face returned to normal before vamp speeding out of sight fleeing the crime scene.

Nathaniel rushed over to Ayana’s lifeless body kneeling before her and grabbing her body as he began sobbing uncontrollably as he mourned for the only woman he had ever known as a maternal figure.

His cries grew louder and longer before Rebekah vamp sped from out of nowhere until she was standing in front of him.

“What happened?” Rebekah asked clearly disturbed to see Ayana’s lifeless body being held in a sobbing Nathaniel’s arms.

“Your brother killed her just like you and your brothers have killed many of us.” Nathaniel replied as he let go of Ayana’s body and stood up to face Rebekah with hatred in his eyes.

“We can’t control this blood lust Nathaniel we didn’t want to hurt anybody.” Rebekah apologized knowing there was no way she’d get her former friend’s forgiveness as the smell of Ayana’ spilled blood grew stronger making her begin to feel the hunger.

“I trusted all of you, I loved you all and you and your family have killed the only mother I’ve ever known.” Nathaniel cried before noticing Rebekah’s face turn vamp like realizing in that moment his life was about to end. “And now you’re going to kill me.”

“I really don’t want to hurt you Nathaniel.” Rebekah replied clearly holding herself back. “Please just run.”

“There is no point you’re just going to catch me anyways.” Nathaniel responded in defeat. “Just get this over with already Rebekah.”

Rebekah tried so hard to restrain herself, but the blood lust was so strong and so new she couldn’t hold back any longer and vamp sped over to Nathaniel before launching her fangs into his neck and it wasn’t long before Nathaniel’s lifeless body fell to the ground leaving Rebekah completely devastated by what she had just done.

Rebekah never told a soul what happened that day knowing how much he meant to Klaus and seeing how furious he was with Kol for hurting Ayana knowing he’d be even more furious to learn Nathaniel was another victim to the family’s blood lust. She allowed her family to believe he left and started a new life that he lived and died a normal life a thousand years ago hiding the truth to save her brother Klaus some pain but little did she know that this was far from the end of Nathaniel’s story.

After the Hollow: Year Five

Klaus Mikaelson had become a ghost to almost everyone in the five years since taking part of the Hollow knowing he couldn’t cope with any contact with his siblings or his daughter Hope without wanting to stay with them and the Hollow meant that neither Klaus, Kol, Rebekah or Elijah could be together or near Hope but that didn’t stop Klaus from watching over his daughter from afar.

Once every year he returned to Mystic Falls keeping a good distance from everyone he knew and watched over a day of his daughter Hope’s life seeing many of her friends circles change over those years but two remaining much to his amusement these two friends were his former flame Caroline Forbes’ daughters Josie and Lizzie Saltzman.

Each year it grew harder for Klaus to return but each year he needed to see his daughter more and more until he found himself outside the gates of the Salvatore Boarding School wishing he could walk past them and hug his daughter just one more time but he knew for her own safety he had to stay as far away as possible.

“I’m pretty sure we made a certain dealing about you popping up in Mystic Falls.” Caroline said as she appeared beside him having vamp sped her way there. “Yet every year I find you lurking in the shadows.”

“Of course, you would be the only person to notice me Caroline.” He replied with a sly smirk. “I’ve got to admit I find that deeply flattering.”

“She misses you everyday Klaus.” Caroline admitted to him. “I know this thing inside you and your siblings forbids you from seeing her, but you could at least pick up a phone and talk to her.”

“Don’t you think I want to?” Klaus snapped. “The moment I’d hear her voice I’d want to be with her and thanks to a very ancient and twisted witch that can never happen.”

“I know it’s not easy but she’s a smart wonderful girl incredibly stubborn like her dad but such an amazing girl who could really do with her dad being in her life in some shape or form.” Caroline told him. “Speaking as a daughter with no parents anymore it’s better to have a distant father then no father at all.”

“You don’t understand Caroline.” He replied to her.

“Your right I don’t understand I don’t understand why your not taking every opportunity you can to be in contact with your daughter and I don’t understand why you won’t let her get to know you because I happen to think your something worth knowing.” Caroline snapped at him causing him to smirk in response.

“You do now do you?” Klaus replied with his sinister sly smirk.

“Speak to your daughter Klaus before you leave it too late.” Caroline responded before vamp speeding out of sight leaving Klaus to his thoughts.

Meanwhile in New Orleans peace was certainly restored in the city after two years living in New Orleans Bonnie Bennet had fully been accepted by the New Orleans witches as the new regent and the new head of the witch’s faction.

All the supernatural factions and the human factions were working smoothly together under Bonnie, Marcel and Hayley’s reign the three having struck deep friendships within the two years of running things in New Orleans but little did they know that the peace they worked so hard for was about to come to a bloody end.

Bonnie sat down at a table outside a cafe in the French Quarter of New Orleans not too far from the compound which had become home to Hayley and on school holidays Hope. She was sipping a cup of coffee awaiting a meeting with a recently returned witch, making sure her unexpected return wasn’t going to upset the new peace within the city.

“You must be Bonnie Bennet you and your family are quite the legends amongst the witch community.” Raven said to her as she walked over to Bonnie’s table. “I’m Raven Devereaux and I must say it truly is an honor to meet you.”

“I’m still adjusting to everyone knowing my name in this city amongst other things.” Bonnie replied before standing up to shake Raven’s hand. “It’s amongst many things about this city I’m still adjusting to.”

“You’re the witch who fought the great Niklaus Mikaelson and survived despite still being in high school.” Raven responded as they both sat down at the table. “Rumor has it you took him down once or twice.”

“I guess you’ve done your homework, I heard about what happen to your family I am truly sorry for your loss.” Bonnie said genuinely. “But if you’re here looking for revenge this city has been Mikaelson free for a very long time.”

“Please my cousin Sophie died at the hands of her niece who was all kinds of disturbed due to being killed and resurrected by the ancestors.” Raven explained to her. “I’m simply just returning home with a hope the new regent doesn’t allow barbaric rituals like her predecessors before her.”

Raven had worded her reply perfectly so perfectly that not only did Bonnie not see her as a threat but she considered this recently returned witch a potential new ally who like her wasn’t particularly a fan of the old ways amongst the witches in New Orleans.

However, unfortunately for Bonnie that’s exactly what Raven wanted her to believe as she found her pleased to know all things were going to Elijah’s master plan hoping it would reach the conclusion he had promised her with the fall of the Mikaelson’s and not the conclusion she feared her own death.

[kyliafanfiction]

H, I, K, P, W for the ask meme

H: Do you prefer real-life TV shows or animated TV shows?

Real Life

I: Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

The MCU Fandom. I was never that far into it, but hoo boy *gag* they can be some really fucking awful people. Tumblr has also caused me to move out of the Skyeward subfandom of AoS, largely, apart from a small select group of fellow Skyeward shippers I can get on with. 

K: How do you feel about the other people in your current fandom(s).

I don’t. Broadly speaking, I try to carefully curate who I interact with in my fandoms and ignore everyone else. 

P: Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

Not random, because It’s for an idea that won’t die that I’ve been having for the last couple weeks - a Nyssara vampire AU. Nyssa Al Ghul is a centuries old Vampire in service to Ra’s Al Ghul, the ruler of vampires for all the Pacific Northwest (where Starling City is) and both her sire and mortal father (she was conceived before he became a vampire). Oliver and Laurel are vampire hunters (and yes, this is sidepairing Lauriver). Sara is nearly killed by another vampire - one who Nyssa was hunting because said vampire was already an enemy of Ra’s - and Nyssa isn’t sure exactly why she turns this beautiful blonde girl (the only way to save her, else she’d bleed out before she could be helped). Now she has the responsibility of teaching her how to be a vampire - and hide what she is from her sister and brother in law. And of course, feelings develop.Not sure where the idea goes from there, but we’d have (at least) guest appearances from Rip Hunter, a British wizard with a sullen temper and mysterious agenda, Caitlin Snow, a half-human, half Winter Fey who tries to ignore her supernatural heritage as she focuses on her career as a scientist and various other characters from the shows.

W: 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms.

CWDCTV-verse: Laurel LanceAgents of Shield: Kara Lynn PalamasRed Vs Blue: Agent WashingtonThe Vampire Diaries: Caroline ForbesOnce Upon A Time: Regina Mills

[forevercaroline]

Sneak peek night.

So tonight I’m going to give my lovely followers and friends sneak peeks.

I will give you the title and a little description of the Drabble or multi chapter you give me the number of the Drabble/multi chapter you want and I will give you a couple lines of the Drabble/multi chapter plus when I post the Drabble/multi chapter I will dedicate it to you.

Xxx

1. Tvd turns human: Klaus, Elijah and Kol didnt get their fast enough to stop their mother from taking away their vampirism in 3x15.

2. Tell me a story: Hope is laying in Klaus’ bed and Klaus is making sure she is safe Hope wants to hear a story so Klaus tells his daughter about a beautiful queen named Caroline and the king who fell in love with her.

3. Tvd five year olds: A spell goes wrong and Caroline, Rebekah, Katherine and Elena get turned into five year olds. Klaus, Elijah, Stefan and Damon have to take care of them.

4. From geek to hot: Caroline is a model and one of the editors in Chief of one of the biggest fashion magazines in the world and her father hires nerdy klaus to be her assistant.

5. Caroline Forbes she can do anything: Caroline is extremely athletic she Surfs, snowboards, skateboards, and plays volleyball. Shes Practing for a volleyball competition on the beach when her back hand serve hits some one drawing.

6. Vampires in Storybrooke: For Davina’s whole life she has had the same dream every night a brown haired woman putting a baby in an enchanted wardrobe and saying I love you to the baby. But soon after her twenty eight birthday her dream changes there is now a man in a black suit she never sees their faces. She only sees their clothes and hears their voices.

7. Revenge on Damon(title might change):Caroline tells Klaus what Damon did to here when she was human.

8. Changing history chapter 3: picks up from where chapter two left off: Future Caroline, Klaus, and Hope are at the police station seeing Liz while past Klaus is calling his siblings. Past Mikaelsons meet future Mikaelsons.

9. I will always love you: Klaus and Caroline have had so many lives and in every live they find each other but in this life they can’t find each other until Caroline is in the hospital dying.

10. Princess’s choice: It’s princess Rebekah’s twenty first birthday and everyone is at her ball. She has to dance with every eligible bachelor. In a room of full of eligible bachelors the one who just walked into the ballroom and refuses to give his name intrigues Rebekah.

11. Freya meets Lucien: when Lucien takes Klaus to his penthouse to tell him about the sire line war why is Freya dancing in Lucien’s penthouse and why is Lucien kissing her?

12. What is going on?: Bonnie sees Kol alive and In the grill with Davina she hates Kol and tries to protect the town from him. She give Kol an aneurysm but Davina protecting her boyfriend fights Bonnie and when Bonnie’s magic collides with Davina’s magic it sends witch and original somewhere.

13: kolvina on the run: when the ancestors cursed Kol Marcel suggested that Kol leave town Davina finds out and goes with him they go to the one place that Kol knows nobody will come looking for them Mystic Falls.

14. The heart and head: in the dream world Freya casts a spell to bring the person who is not only in her siblings hearts but head to them.

15: Klaroline in Nola chapter 11: Marcel finds out Davina is not in the attic, klaus wants to throw a party introducing Caroline as his queen and Katherine wants to kill travelers.

16. Tvd Shadowhunter part 4: it’s a race against Shadowhunters and the Gilbert’s to find Elena who has the mortal cup. Cami doesn’t think Caroline should participate in the search for Elena and the mortal cup. It’s to close to home for Caroline who disagrees.

17. One more night: Klaus and Caroline have been together for two hundred years and klaus gives her the greatest present ever one more night with her mom.

18. Tvd in New York chapter 5: it’s Christmas in New York and the gang decides to go to Vegas but when they get back they see their parents have returned. Plus the annual Mikaelson Christmas brunch.

19. Caroline stark series: Caroline and tony are both dealing with the events of loki kidnapping Caroline. Tony wages war on an enemy who blows up his house and everyone thinks he is dead.

20. Caroline stark series: loki is back and wants Caroline tony and shield will do what ever it takes to protect Caroline.

[yes-dal456]

Do We Dare To Eat Lectins?

In The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, T.S. Eliot’s protagonist asks, chewing on mortality and the pangs of senescence, if he dares to eat a peach. We can all thank Dr. Steven Gundry for upping the ante, and asking if any of us dares to eat chickpeas or eggplant; apples or oats; beans or lentils; or for that matter, almost any fruit, many vegetables, and most beans, legumes, grains, and certain nuts. His answer is: no. His reason is: lectins.

What are lectins? I am tempted to suggest to all Harry Potter fans that they are to us muggles what Nargles are to witches and wizards: an enigmatic if not imaginary threat in unexpected places, of concern only to the eccentric.

But I suppose a bit more explanation is in order. Lectins are a family of proteins found in many plants, dairy, yeast, eggs, and seafood that can bind to other molecules, notably sugar and carbohydrate molecules, that are present both in foods, and in the membranes of our cells. The case made in The Plant Paradox is that the binding of lectins from plant foods to our cells is a major cause of ill health, and thus we must all fear and avoid lectins, and the rather dire foods- like apples- that sinisterly serve as their delivery vehicles. (For whatever it may be worth to you and Prufrock, peaches happen to be a negligible source.)

This, of course, is utter nonsense.

For starters, the reality of lectins is far more nuanced than the sound bites, scapegoats, and silver bullets of formulaic best sellers in the diet category. The scientific literature raises theoretical concerns about the potential toxicity of lectins in certain contexts, but also suggests the possibility of unique health benefits related to cancer prevention, and gastrointestinal metabolism. Lectins are far more active in binding to our cells when consumed at high concentration and in isolation, as they are in experiments, than when consumed in food- as they generally are by actual humans. Cooking often attenuates the binding action of lectins, or causes them to bind to other compounds in food. 

In that regard, perhaps a new dietary fad predicated on misguided lectin-phobia has one redeeming characteristic: it serves up an argument against another faddish concept, nearly as silly. The fiercest proponents of raw food diets contend, falsely, that raw is always better. While some foods are more nutritious raw, others- like chickpeas, beans, and lentils, to name just a few- are decisively so when cooked. The raw food argument, in other words, is itself overcooked, and the lectin scare perhaps does us the modest service of shining its little light there.

As for all the rest, it is instead propagating shadows of doubt where none are warranted.

This is not the first time we have been warned away from fruits and vegetables, beans and legumes, nuts and grains.  Both low-carb and gluten-free diet advocacy foreswear whole grains, despite overwhelming evidence of the health benefits they consistently confer on all but the constitutionally intolerant. Both low-GI and fructose-is-toxic dietary platforms have caused people, intentionally in the first case and perhaps unintentionally in the second, to abandon fruit, despite overwhelming evidence of its role in defending us even against the very concerns associated with high-glycemic foods and excess fructose, notably type 2 diabetes. We abandoned nuts in the throes of misguided applications of advice to reduce dietary fat intake, somehow reaching the conclusion that Snackwells were good for us, while almonds were not.

This decades-long parade of dietary fads and fashions, an incessant sequence of nutritional misadventures demonstrate one thing above all others: there is more than one way to eat badly, and we the people of the United States seem committed to exploring them all. If you have a new version of dietary nonsense to sell, put it in a book- and we will buy it.

Our history is testimony to the triumph of naïve nincompoopery over experience, to the conclusion that desperation breeds gullibility. Sorry, I must be in a timorous mood today; next time, I’ll tell you what I really think.

We have been talked into the claim that gluten and wheat are the source of our many ills, despite the salient presence of wheat in the human diet for 15,000 years or so, it’s nominal role for 100,000 or more; despite the presence of whole wheat in the diets of the world’s most vital and longest-lived populations; and despite a bounty of evidence of every description demonstrating the predominance of benefit. We have been talked into blaming our metabolic misfortunes on all grains, despite an even more compelling body of evidence linking whole grain intake to almost every health benefit imaginable, including marked reductions in the very degenerations of function and cognition for which whole grains have been falsely maligned.

An effort is afoot to talk us into dismissing the liabilities of excess salt consumption on theoretical grounds, even as a massive epidemiologic study looking agnostically at the associations between dietary components and death found salt to top the list. Personally, I don’t think salt, per se, is public nutrition enemy number 1; rather, I think a high concentration of sodium is one of the most consistent indicators of hyper-processed foods that are bad for us in many ways. But that’s a topic for another day.

For now, the new contention that we should avoid all of the most nutritious plant foods, including many vegetables, nearly all fruits, all beans, and all legumes because they contain lectins- takes nutritional nonsense to a whole new level. Following this advice will decimate the quality of your diet, and for anyone who actually sticks with such silliness over time (an unlikely eventuality with any diet)- your health.

The case being made against most of the foods most reliably linked to vitality and longevity suffers from several fallacies common to all manner of nutritional nonsense. One is to prioritize a theoretical concern (or hope) over the prevailing pattern of outcomes among actual people.

Another is the conflation of a change in the dialogue about some threat with a change in the threat itself. In 2015, for instance, the International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC), a subsidiary of the World Health Organization, declared processed meat- bacon, pepperoni, and such- a class I carcinogen. There was widespread media coverage, the customary hyperbole, and something nearing panic among the “I have never met a slice of bacon I didn’t like” crowd.

But, of course, such a response made no real sense. Yes, processed meat is bad for you, and yes, you’d be better off not eating it. And yes, eating it is rather bad for our fellow creatures and the planet, too.

But the risk from one day to the next changed not at all. Whatever your risk for cancer had been all along, it remained exactly the same the day after the IARC determination was announced. All that had changed was the official position on the matter of that risk. Similarly, the lectins that are in your hummus this week were there last week, too.

The idea that you should renounce many of the foods most decisively and consistently linked to good health outcomes because they contain a compound that can be called a toxin may be the most egregious example of missing the forest for the trees I’ve ever seen, and I’ve spent my career scrutinizing, and repudiating, just that variety of nonsense. For the sake of false promises dangling from one gilded tree, this is a case of burning the forest down.

The answer to- “should you fear lectins now?” is- yes, if and only if you do the same for oxygen. 

As I recently noted to a colleague, oxygen is not a theoretical toxin with theoretical harms in people; it is a known toxic with established harms. The atmosphere of our planet is thus highly analogous to the dietary sources of lectins: both contain compounds with potentially toxic effects, but net benefit is overwhelming both from eating plants, and breathing.

So, do you need to fear lectins now? Dr. Gundry, who reportedly will be happy to sell you supplements to replace the nutrients present in the foods he is telling you not to eat, says: yes.

I say: hold your breath, and count to a thousand while contemplating the theoretical toxicities of oxygen. Long before you finish, the truth will likely come to you in a gasp.

-fin

David L. Katz

Director, Yale University Prevention Research Center; Griffin Hospital

Immediate Past-President, American College of Lifestyle Medicine

Senior Medical Advisor, Verywell.com

Founder, The True Health Initiative

Follow at: LinkedIN; Twitter; Facebook

Read at: INfluencer Blog; Huffington Post; US News & World Report; Verywell; Forbes

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from http://ift.tt/2s0PHlG from Blogger http://ift.tt/2rIzfDK

[imreviewblog]

Do We Dare To Eat Lectins?

In The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, T.S. Eliot’s protagonist asks, chewing on mortality and the pangs of senescence, if he dares to eat a peach. We can all thank Dr. Steven Gundry for upping the ante, and asking if any of us dares to eat chickpeas or eggplant; apples or oats; beans or lentils; or for that matter, almost any fruit, many vegetables, and most beans, legumes, grains, and certain nuts. His answer is: no. His reason is: lectins.

What are lectins? I am tempted to suggest to all Harry Potter fans that they are to us muggles what Nargles are to witches and wizards: an enigmatic if not imaginary threat in unexpected places, of concern only to the eccentric.

But I suppose a bit more explanation is in order. Lectins are a family of proteins found in many plants, dairy, yeast, eggs, and seafood that can bind to other molecules, notably sugar and carbohydrate molecules, that are present both in foods, and in the membranes of our cells. The case made in The Plant Paradox is that the binding of lectins from plant foods to our cells is a major cause of ill health, and thus we must all fear and avoid lectins, and the rather dire foods- like apples- that sinisterly serve as their delivery vehicles. (For whatever it may be worth to you and Prufrock, peaches happen to be a negligible source.)

This, of course, is utter nonsense.

For starters, the reality of lectins is far more nuanced than the sound bites, scapegoats, and silver bullets of formulaic best sellers in the diet category. The scientific literature raises theoretical concerns about the potential toxicity of lectins in certain contexts, but also suggests the possibility of unique health benefits related to cancer prevention, and gastrointestinal metabolism. Lectins are far more active in binding to our cells when consumed at high concentration and in isolation, as they are in experiments, than when consumed in food- as they generally are by actual humans. Cooking often attenuates the binding action of lectins, or causes them to bind to other compounds in food. 

In that regard, perhaps a new dietary fad predicated on misguided lectin-phobia has one redeeming characteristic: it serves up an argument against another faddish concept, nearly as silly. The fiercest proponents of raw food diets contend, falsely, that raw is always better. While some foods are more nutritious raw, others- like chickpeas, beans, and lentils, to name just a few- are decisively so when cooked. The raw food argument, in other words, is itself overcooked, and the lectin scare perhaps does us the modest service of shining its little light there.

As for all the rest, it is instead propagating shadows of doubt where none are warranted.

This is not the first time we have been warned away from fruits and vegetables, beans and legumes, nuts and grains.  Both low-carb and gluten-free diet advocacy foreswear whole grains, despite overwhelming evidence of the health benefits they consistently confer on all but the constitutionally intolerant. Both low-GI and fructose-is-toxic dietary platforms have caused people, intentionally in the first case and perhaps unintentionally in the second, to abandon fruit, despite overwhelming evidence of its role in defending us even against the very concerns associated with high-glycemic foods and excess fructose, notably type 2 diabetes. We abandoned nuts in the throes of misguided applications of advice to reduce dietary fat intake, somehow reaching the conclusion that Snackwells were good for us, while almonds were not.

This decades-long parade of dietary fads and fashions, an incessant sequence of nutritional misadventures demonstrate one thing above all others: there is more than one way to eat badly, and we the people of the United States seem committed to exploring them all. If you have a new version of dietary nonsense to sell, put it in a book- and we will buy it.

Our history is testimony to the triumph of naïve nincompoopery over experience, to the conclusion that desperation breeds gullibility. Sorry, I must be in a timorous mood today; next time, I’ll tell you what I really think.

We have been talked into the claim that gluten and wheat are the source of our many ills, despite the salient presence of wheat in the human diet for 15,000 years or so, it’s nominal role for 100,000 or more; despite the presence of whole wheat in the diets of the world’s most vital and longest-lived populations; and despite a bounty of evidence of every description demonstrating the predominance of benefit. We have been talked into blaming our metabolic misfortunes on all grains, despite an even more compelling body of evidence linking whole grain intake to almost every health benefit imaginable, including marked reductions in the very degenerations of function and cognition for which whole grains have been falsely maligned.

An effort is afoot to talk us into dismissing the liabilities of excess salt consumption on theoretical grounds, even as a massive epidemiologic study looking agnostically at the associations between dietary components and death found salt to top the list. Personally, I don’t think salt, per se, is public nutrition enemy number 1; rather, I think a high concentration of sodium is one of the most consistent indicators of hyper-processed foods that are bad for us in many ways. But that’s a topic for another day.

For now, the new contention that we should avoid all of the most nutritious plant foods, including many vegetables, nearly all fruits, all beans, and all legumes because they contain lectins- takes nutritional nonsense to a whole new level. Following this advice will decimate the quality of your diet, and for anyone who actually sticks with such silliness over time (an unlikely eventuality with any diet)- your health.

The case being made against most of the foods most reliably linked to vitality and longevity suffers from several fallacies common to all manner of nutritional nonsense. One is to prioritize a theoretical concern (or hope) over the prevailing pattern of outcomes among actual people.

Another is the conflation of a change in the dialogue about some threat with a change in the threat itself. In 2015, for instance, the International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC), a subsidiary of the World Health Organization, declared processed meat- bacon, pepperoni, and such- a class I carcinogen. There was widespread media coverage, the customary hyperbole, and something nearing panic among the “I have never met a slice of bacon I didn’t like” crowd.

But, of course, such a response made no real sense. Yes, processed meat is bad for you, and yes, you’d be better off not eating it. And yes, eating it is rather bad for our fellow creatures and the planet, too.

But the risk from one day to the next changed not at all. Whatever your risk for cancer had been all along, it remained exactly the same the day after the IARC determination was announced. All that had changed was the official position on the matter of that risk. Similarly, the lectins that are in your hummus this week were there last week, too.

The idea that you should renounce many of the foods most decisively and consistently linked to good health outcomes because they contain a compound that can be called a toxin may be the most egregious example of missing the forest for the trees I’ve ever seen, and I’ve spent my career scrutinizing, and repudiating, just that variety of nonsense. For the sake of false promises dangling from one gilded tree, this is a case of burning the forest down.

The answer to- “should you fear lectins now?” is- yes, if and only if you do the same for oxygen. 

As I recently noted to a colleague, oxygen is not a theoretical toxin with theoretical harms in people; it is a known toxic with established harms. The atmosphere of our planet is thus highly analogous to the dietary sources of lectins: both contain compounds with potentially toxic effects, but net benefit is overwhelming both from eating plants, and breathing.

So, do you need to fear lectins now? Dr. Gundry, who reportedly will be happy to sell you supplements to replace the nutrients present in the foods he is telling you not to eat, says: yes.

I say: hold your breath, and count to a thousand while contemplating the theoretical toxicities of oxygen. Long before you finish, the truth will likely come to you in a gasp.

-fin

David L. Katz

Director, Yale University Prevention Research Center; Griffin Hospital

Immediate Past-President, American College of Lifestyle Medicine

Senior Medical Advisor, Verywell.com

Founder, The True Health Initiative

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