#forever angry Leo doesn’t have eyebrows

[teaableu]

Pushed this man as far as he can go

Not sure when in the story timeline this happens but Two gets fed up and One messes up big time

He’s very sorry

[psychic-winged-turtle]

The Butterfly Effect

When David stopped wanting to hang out, Leo will admit to being offended, but he moved on quickly. This wasn’t the first time someone he liked decided to move on out of the blue, and it won’t be the last. Leo doesn’t really care. Yeah, it stings a bit in the moment, but that’s just how his life is. People come into it, they have a good time for a bit, and then he drops them. Leo will admit that this is the first time in a while that someone has dropped him. But, again, it doesn’t really matter. He would have gotten bored of David eventually anyways.

Leo only really noticed his absence for the first few parties he went to. After that, it was right back into drinking, smoking, and fucking whoever looked like they would be a good time. When he was actually sober enough to have thoughts, his college classes and homework tended to keep him pretty distracted. His focus at college definitely wasn’t college itself, but that didn’t mean he wanted to be put on probation. Leo had spent a long time keeping himself afloat and just functional enough to not raise any eyebrows, while ensuring he had the time to do whatever he wanted on the side. It was fun. It is fun.

Leo likes his life.

Leo doesn’t see David again until almost a month later. They stopped talking mid-march and now it was early April. David didn’t see him, or at Leo’s pretty sure that he didn’t. David was walking with a pretty blonde girl that must have been the sister that he talked about. Leo doesn’t know why the sight stopped him in his tracks for a moment. For a moment Leo had a sour thought remembering the conversation he had with David. David didn’t want to be dragged out to parties anymore, he wanted to sober up a bit and get his life back into order because his sister… well it had something to do with her. Honestly, Leo was kind of high during the conversation and mainly just pissed off that David didn’t want to go out that night. He doesn’t remember much else of the conversation other than David saying that maybe they shouldn’t hang out anymore.

Leo shakes his head and is about to look away and move on when he sees the smile on David’s face. It’s not a big smile, or even a particularly happy one, but it is more genuine that Leo has ever seen David look. He doesn’t know why this bothers him. Instead of trying to reflect on it, Leo shakes his head again and walks away. God… he needs a drink.

Leo thinks about the smile again that night. He’s washing his face, keeping his eyes closed to avoid getting soap in them, but when he rinses he takes a moment to peek and make sure he’s gotten all the suds. When he looks into the mirror, though, all he sees is Leonard. His brother, the reason he goes by this name, stares back at him for a moment and Leo has to look away. He grabs the towel and roughly dries his face and turns to leave the bathroom without looking back, but he can’t help but to glance. And he sees…

Not Leonard.

Not anyone that he knows.

Leonard never had such a… defeated look in his eyes. Leonard would get angry or sad or any other number of emotions in the moments that he got to the end of his rope with their situation, but he never looked so hopeless. This look… this is all Leo. Or… no. It’s all Jeremiah.

While he looks in the mirror, Jeremiah wonders where his brother went. When did he stop looking like him? He thinks about Leonards face, about the soft smile that would grace it on a good day. It hurts to think about. To think about Leonard smiling that small, genuine smile. It hurts to think about smiling himself.

Instead, he pushes the thought away and goes about his business. He goes to bed and gets up in the morning. He goes to class. He distracts himself with the same parties, and drinks, and drugs, and sex, and all the things that make him feel better and in control and… it isn’t working. He can’t stop thinking about Leonard’s smile and the fact that its gone forever. It always used to hurt to see Leonard in his own face, but now that he can’t… It hurts much worse. He almost feels like he lost him again. Like he lost the last connection he had to him.

It sits heavy in his chest and chokes him in his sleep. He stops going out with his friends. He stops going to parties. He stops going to class. He stops sleeping. He can’t think. He never thought he would feel this way again. He feels as raw as the day that Leonard died, but this time it isn’t because of grief, it's because of guilt.

Leonard died and Jeremiah lived, and what has he done with that? He wears his name like a party hat and ruins it. He does whatever he wants, whenever he wants, with whoever he wants, without any regard to how his actions affect himself or others. He’s thrown away every good thing that has come to him because he got bored or scared or angry. He ran from the one person who he could say actually cares about him and ignored every bit of morality that his family tried to iron into him.

He hadn’t attended class for about two weeks when it happened. He took something, some downer that he had left, it doesn't really matter what, and then he found himself lying in the back of his van and realizing he couldn’t lift his head. He’d been drinking and the combination of the drugs and alcohol were making it hard to think, but he had a moment where he had to wonder how much he had taken. He had a moment to realize it was far too much, especially in combination with the alcohol. He had a moment to think that maybe he didn’t really care if he died tonight.

But then he thinks of Leonard’s smile and he breaks. He’s afraid, and maybe he’s crying, but the only thing he knows is that he isn’t ready to die. He doesn’t know if he believes in an afterlife, but all he knows is that he can’t see Leonard like this. He can’t let Darrius get the call that he overdosed in the back of his van. He can’t die. He can’t die. He can’t die.

He begs to Leonard, to his Grandmother who passed, to God himself if he would take a moment to listen. He swears on everything he has left that if he wakes up tomorrow he will change. He will be the person his brother and his grandmother and his cousin all believed he could be. He swears.

When he wakes up the idea of change seems a lot scarier. He looks at his van, at the vomit on the carpet, at the empty bottles and cans, and then he makes the most terrifying call of his life. He almost hopes that he won’t pick up. He left on such a bad note and had basically ignored any attempt his cousin made at reaching out. But of course he picks up.

“Leo? Is everything all right?” Darrius' voice rings clearly from the phone.

It takes Leo a moment to respond. He has to wait for his mouth to feel a little less like a desert. “Yeah, everything is-” Leo, no, Jeremiah, cuts off the lie. “No… It’s not-” a sob cuts him off. For a moment he can’t even believe he’s crying, but then it all comes out. “I-it’s not alr-right. I can’t, I can’t do th-this anymore.”

“Whoa, Leo! Take a breath,” Darrius says, taking an exaggerated breath of his own as an example, “It’s gonna be okay, just tell me what’s going on.”

“I-I don’t even know,” another sob cuts him off, “know where to start. I just w-want to come home!” It feels like such a childish statement, but it’s true. Jeremiah hasn’t felt this small, this helpless, in a very long time, and he has no idea how to fix it.

“Of course you can come home, Leo.” Darrius says. “You can come home any time.”

Those words only break him down more. He doesn’t feel like he should be accepted back by Darrius, not after how he left, but he’s so glad that he is. He’s so glad that Darrius stays on the phone with him until he stops crying. He’s so glad that Darrius made sure to say that he's expecting him soon. If he hadn’t said that, Leo might have backed out, but he didn’t. He is going to go home. He is going to keep his promise.

It’s about time Jeremiah did something good with Leo’s name.

[thebigqueer]

"Stars Bursting Across His Lips" - Valgrace - One-Shot

Summary: Leo & Jason go on a totally spontaneous road trip.

Word Count: 4264

Read on AO3

Leo isn’t sure how he got thrown off a roller coaster, but here he is, hurtling about five hundred miles per hour in the sky. Except he’s not even afraid - in fact, despite the looming ground before him, he actually feels relaxed for the first time in forever.

It isn’t until the black, rocky ground is overwhelming his vision that he feels the panic truly settle in. His heart speeds in his chest, trying to escape the prison of his ribcage, and his stomach feels weightless. The wind’s pressure increases the closer he gets.

This is it, he thinks in fear. This is the end.

He closes his eyes.

BAM!

-------

Leo startles awake.

His head rises from his desk, eyes bleary, and a bright yellow light floods his eyes. He groans in discomfort and sits up straight, trying to find balance in the spinning world around him. Rubbing his face, Leo pushes himself away from the desk and sighs in exasperation. A pencil pokes out from his curls. He blinks several times, trying to flick the yellow spots from his eyesight, but it takes several moments before he can see clearly again. When he finally can see again, the very first thing he notices are stacks of books on his desk, papers flashing in the harsh light, and three pencils pointing at him threateningly, and he almost wishes he really was being thrown off a roller coaster.

Exhaustion has been calling his name for hours now, but he’s been declining since the morning. Instead, he’s had to put himself through hours of work and work and work. As much as he enjoys being a student, there are some points where he truly just wishes he could lie down and never wake up again.

He sighs again and rolls his chair back to his desk. His physics homework glares at him, flashing angry and frustrated black letters, and his body physically compresses at their scolding. He looks longingly over to the comfortable bed in the corner, trying to seduce him with its fluffy pillows and blankets, but yet again he needs to decline.

He shifts his gaze back to his papers. He can sleep later; he just needs to get through this now.

Leo’s eyes rove over the problem before him: From the top of a roller coaster, Anna is going down at a velocity of… No, wait, who’s going down on a roller coaster? From the top of a roller coaster… Why are we riding a roller coaster? Why not a car? Why not an airplane? Who said everyone likes roller coasters? It’s been so long since Leo’s been to an amusement park…

And just like that, Leo’s zoning out again. His eyes catch the sight of a bookmark by one of his books, and he pokes his pencil against it, trying to fit the tip underneath the small purple ribbon that’s looped through a hole in the plastic. His thoughts scream in his head, pouring out from some crack in his brain, and he knows it’s hopeless trying to understand the problem. He might as well just waste time instead of even reading the words before him.

His attention is once again stolen as the sound of a door creaking pulls at his ears. Leo’s head perks up and he turns to the direction of the bedroom entrance, meeting pale blue eyes.

Jason smiles at him and lifts a mug. “Hi,” he says shyly. “I made you tea.”

Leo sighs and turns back around, humming in acknowledgement. “Thanks,” he says, folding his arms across the desk and burrowing his head into their grace. His eyelids droop again, succumbing to the weight of exhaustion.

Soft footsteps thud against the carpeted floor, and it isn’t long before a shift in the air alerts Leo of Jason’s presence next to him. Leo opens his eyes to see his lover leaning against the wall. He gently places a mug by one of the various books and smiles encouragingly. Leo responds by frowning and moving the mug to the other side of the desk, then leaning back against his arms.

Jason’s eyebrows rise behind his glasses. “Well, someone’s cranky.”

Leo throws him a glare but doesn't respond. He doesn’t have the energy.

Jason eyes him warily, and his mouth sets itself into a thin line. He catches sight of the paper underneath Leo’s hand and the pencils poking his skin. Then he lays his eyes on the dozens of books stacked around Leo. Pity overflows his blue irises. “How long have you been working?” he asks sympathetically.

“Don’t know,” Leo says. “I passed out for a while.”

“Maybe it’s time to take a break,” Jason says, a playful lilt in his voice. “Do you want to watch—”

“No,” Leo snaps, raising his head.

He realizes his mistake a little too late. A look of surprise pulls at Jason’s face, and for a second he looks almost like a scolded dog, eyes full of sadness and embarrassment. His blue eyes stray to the side. If Jason could fold his ears, Leo has no doubt he would.

A heavy tension sparks in the air, sizzling against Leo’s spine, and he’s not sure if the air is charged because of Jason or if it’s only metaphorical. Probably both.

Guilt seizes Leo’s chest at the sight of Jason looking so pensive. He sighs and reaches for the blond’s hand, but Jason only snaps it back. Leo’s heart clenches on itself as he witnesses this act of defiance. Frustrated, he pulls at one of his curls. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m just… stressed.” He tilts his head at Jason and hopes his eyes betray his genuinity. “I shouldn’t have bitten at you like that. I’m really sorry.”

Jason turns his gaze back to Leo. Leo’s expecting his eyes to flash angrily, or for sparks to shoot out his fingertips, or for the air to thunder in angst, but instead there’s only a calculating look in his eyes, as if he’s making a silent decision. His arms cross against his chest, and a pang of anxiety jabs Leo in the chest.

He knows that look. He knows something’s about to happen.

And Leo’s right. Jason acts too fast. One second, the boys are merely staring at each other, frustration overwhelming their senses; the next, Leo’s stomach rolls over and his entire perception turns upside down. It takes a while for Leo to register that he’s now staring at the floor, not Jason’s pretty face. It takes even longer for him to realize that the floor is actually moving.

“What the fuck?” Leo cries, wriggling around. A tight arm is wrapped around his waist, and a few more seconds pass before he realizes he’s thrown over Jason’s shoulder. He considers shaking around some more, if only to get Jason to let him go, but he knows that would be too dangerous for both of them. Instead, to express his frustration, Leo tries to lift himself up and glares at the back of Jason’s head. “What the hell are you doing? Put me down!”

The air shifts, and from the familiar scent of vanilla and dish soap, Leo knows they’re in the kitchen. Jason shifts around the counter for something - Leo’s not sure what - and then they’re hurtling towards the apartment door.

“Jason!” Leo cries, pawing at his sweatshirt. “Put me down! What are you doing?”

Though Leo can’t see his face, his very blood boils at the thought of Jason smiling. He throws the door open and, through a careful, mischievous voice, he simply says, “You’ll see.”

They hurtle through the unknown darkness of the hallway.

-----

“Aw, Leo, don’t look at me like that,” Jason murmurs, glancing at Leo quickly behind his glasses before turning them back to the road before them. His hands balance gently against the steering wheel.

Leo’s crossed arms tighten their hold on his chest and he continues pointing a glare at Jason. “How else am I supposed to look at you?” he demands. “You kinda kidnapped me from my desk just to put me in the car and drive us away. Where the hell are we even going?”

“Spontaneous road trip,” Jason offers by way of explanation. His foot presses firmly against the gas pedal as he leads the two of them along an empty, dark road, illuminated only by the street lamps standing on the sides. “You’ve been working too hard, and you looked like you needed the break.”

Leo sighs. His chest constricts with a sudden exasperation; he knows Jason’s right, and he knows Jason just wants to help, but he doesn’t think any of this is going to benefit him in the long run. Nevertheless, his eyes soften around the edges and he leans his head back against the seat. “Thank you,” he says, “but I don’t think this is a good idea. I have at least three assignments due tomorrow. Can we please just go back?”

“Leo, tell me honestly, how long have you been working today?” Jason asks instead, avoiding Leo’s request.

He scoffs. “Well, I got home around three. You kidnapped me around eight—”

“I wouldn’t call it ‘kidnapping.’”

“—so I guess I’ve been working for five hours.”

“Consecutively?”

A wince flashes across Leo’s face. He knows what Jason’s trying to get at, but he wishes he’d stop. “Well… yeah, I guess. But I kind of need to.” A frustrated sigh puffs out of him and he lays a gentle hand against Jason’s forearm. Jason spares another quick glance at him, surprised at his touch, then turns back to the road.

“Jason, I know you mean well, but I don’t think tonight is the best night,” Leo pleads, his eyebrows furrowing in stress. “We can do this during the weekend.”

But Jason shakes his head and frowns. “Are you forgetting that we’re busy this weekend? First Piper and Shel are coming over, and then Percy’s hosting a party for them.” Jason stops at a red light and turns the left-turn signal on, and the familiar tick, tick, tick of the car snaps in the silence. Leo spots a Walgreens to their left. He turns his gaze back to Jason’s profile, which glows like moonlight against the brightness of the convenience store.

“Besides,” Jason continues, keeping his gaze ahead, “you really need a break, Leo. You’ve been working non-stop all week.” He tilts his head to the side, and in the haunting light of the streetlamps, Leo gets a glimpse of a faint smile across Jasons’ lips. “And I miss you, you know. It feels like we’ve been off our game lately.”

Leo’s chest overwhelms with a hot and weightless sensation. Despite his irritation, a faint smile echoes against his own face, matching the one on Jason. Leo knows he’s right; they haven’t had a proper date in weeks, and it’s started to feel like they only got glimpses of each other in the morning before they got busy with school. Though Leo hates that, something in him feels warm and gooey knowing that Jason wants to spend time with him; he feels wanted, desired. He feels needed.

Jason’s words evaporate in the air, and soon the only sound is the purring of the car. He turns left.

Leo leans back against his seat and calculates his choices. He could go with Jason, take a break and actually enjoy the next hour or so with him, or he could stay at home and pass out on his desk, trying to plow his way through assignments that he has no energy for.

Just before Jason pulls into the parking lot, Leo gazes out the window, taking a glimpse into the fading evening. Winter is already beginning to steal the daylight from them, leaving the world to face the onslaught of coldness and shivers. A black sky spills across overhead.

Leo glances at Jason again, examining his profile, revelling in his existence. Even under the streetlamps he's somehow found a way to steal the spotlight. He always does.

Jason parks. He bows his head to look for his wallet, and Leo admires the empty steering wheel, gushing with an invitation to turn it. The endless possibilities of the night all reside on this simple wheel.

Leo runs a finger over the rough leather. Then he turns his gaze back to Jason, who offers him a raised eyebrow. He unlocks the door and holds out his wallet in a gesture to join him. “What are you waiting for?” Jason asks, raising an eyebrow.

Leo makes his decision. A smile overwhelms his features, melting away all other signs of worry, and a brightness glimmers in his eyes.

He opens his door and joins Jason.

-----

The hours rush by in a blur. One minute, Leo and Jason are fooling around in the aisles of Walgreens, stocking up on candy and soda, and the next they’re speeding down the highway, disintegrating into the high of the night. Wind rushes in through the wide-open windows and the dark night bleeds in. Leo has never felt so alive.

Music blares from the car radio, though the roaring wind wraps itself over the sounds, making the lyrics so undecipherable that Leo gives up on trying to figure out what song it is. He leans back and kicks his feet on the dashboard, throwing an orange Starburst into his mouth. The taste contaminates his tongue, burning him with its tangy flavor, and he leans his head against the window. Stars poke against the black, and Leo, in his bewildered and excited state, wonders if there’s some kind of world beyond the black. Are those holes just portals to entirely different dimensions? Is there some other reality hiding behind the darkness?

In any case, Leo’s glad to be protected underneath the covers of the night. Because if there are other realities beyond those stars, he’s glad to be in the one with Jason.

He closes his eyes as wind whips across his face. Over the roaring of the air, he can just barely make out Jason’s voice lifting over, threading tightly through the wind and grasping for Leo’s ears. But his words are still incomprehensible, especially at this angle, and Leo has to sit up straight again in order to truly take meaning from his rambling.

And the second he meets Jason’s face, his chest implodes with heat.

Despite the darkness extending all around them, a faint golden light reflects over Jason’s face from the headlights. His glasses flash, and a dim halo surrounds his features, illuminating his skin. His lollipop-stained lips open and close as he goes on about something that Leo hasn’t been paying attention to at all. His hands balance gently against the steering wheel, and just the very sight of him sends Leo’s heart into overdrive.

Something strong and insistent pulls on Leo’s heart, digging into his very muscles as he looks at Jason. A longing so intense and painful clamps onto his body like a parasite, and in this moment, with Jason just existing, his hunger for intimacy suddenly turns into starvation. He’s aching to be in his arms.

How long has Leo been starved? How long has he been longing for Jason and not even realizing it?

“...and I was talking to Percy,” Jason says as Leo tunes in again, “and he was like, ‘Dude, I made out with this guy in my Biology class in my dreams,’ and I was like, ‘Uh-huh,’ and he was like, ‘What do you think that means?’ and I was like, ‘Well, if you want my expert opinion, I’m starting to think you’re not exactly as straight as you think you are,’ and he—”

“Jason,” Leo interrupts. His hand reaches for the other boy’s skin, and in the heat of the moment, he drops his pack of Starbursts and lets it thud to the floor. A few pieces tumble out and gleam in pinks and oranges and reds against the stark black of the floorboards.

Jason tilts his head, lips paused in mid-sentence. “Yeah?”

“Pull over.”

His eyebrows rise up, this time in even more surprise. “Why? Is everything okay?”

“I need to kiss you. Right now.”

And in the dim light, a painful red spikes through Jason’s face, reaching all the way up to his ears. His hand flinches against the steering wheel, but Leo barely notices. He’s too caught up in his longing for Jason, in his admiration of the boy before him, to notice the hiccup in his movements. Usually so stoic and plain, Jason’s entire demeanor changes.

“Okay,” he says. “Okay.”

It takes much too long for the car to swerve to the side, for the car to come to a complete stop, for Jason to park. It takes much too long for Leo to unlatch his seatbelt and for Jason to open his arms and for Leo to reach across the distance between them. He can’t get there fast enough. But when he finally does, when his body crashes into Jason’s chest, when his knees press against the coffee cup holder and his skin oozes with excitement, he realizes the time was worth it.

Leo comes at Jason with such a velocity that his body thuds against the door, and instead of meeting his lips, Jason laughs and pushes Leo away. “We’re going to fall out of the car like this,” he says, but his voice is low. “Let’s go in the back.”

A burning irritation bubbles up Leo’s core. He knows Jason’s being reasonable and, honestly, this isn’t anything to get angry about; but for some reason, he can’t fall into Jason fast enough. He’s frustrated that he can’t touch him right away, that there’s danger in pushing Jason too much. He needs Jason now, now, now.

Why are they scared of falling out of a vehicle? Their entire relationship was made on danger. They could always go further.

But Leo complies, and he pushes himself off Jason, slithering in between the seats and balancing precariously against one corner of the backseat. The seconds go by too slowly as Jason stumbles in, and Leo needs to make up lost time by immediately making his move the moment Jason gets comfortable.

Maybe he moved too fast, because his acceleration has Jason falling over himself in the backseat. But he’s always been quick - he adapts fast enough, and within seconds he and Leo find their music again.

Leo makes himself comfortable easily, locking himself into Jason’s limbs, pressing his chest against Jason’s, touching his fingers against Jason’s face. After weeks of losing each other, Jason feels like home after a long vacation; there’s something different, something unsettling, something unfamiliar about him, but Leo knows every corner and dusty shelf of Jason, every crack and crevice. He knows Jason, maybe even better than he knows himself.

His thighs grace Jason’s ribs, pinning him to the seat, tying him to only the heat of the moment. His fingers hiss feverishly against every inch of Jason’s face; each touch feels like a spark, like a prickle beneath his fingertips, but Leo doesn’t mind the shock. It only reminds him of the pure energy that is Jason, the sparkling electricity that he brings to Leo’s life.

At first, they don’t do anything; they simply lie against each other in the backseat, waiting for something to happen, something to tear them apart.

A car passes by. The wind howls outside. Darkness spills out on every side of the world with its endless possibilities.

But nothing happens. They truly have this moment alone, with no one around to pull them away, with no one telling them what to do, with just themselves in this moment.

So Leo stops waiting. He’s tired of waiting.

His fingers stop right underneath Jason’s jaw and he tilts his head ever so gently, holding Jason’s delicate, porcelain face up to the darkness. When their eyes clash, Leo sees the spark of excitement lying underneath his half-lidded eyes - What’s the best you can do? he seems to be asking. Show me.

So Leo does.

For a second he’s simply wandering, lost and confused in the vast space between him and Jason, only looking for shelter from the chaos. The next he meets Jason’s lips, and his brain explodes, his heart combusts, his skin melts. Leo’s lips tingle at the contact and an electric rush of euphoria singes his spine.

His body’s breaking down, disintegrating, his essence turning into mere packets of energy. He spills into Jason’s skin, aching to become a part of him. It’s a feeling so painful, so intense that he just wants to forget about his own body and find himself converged with Jason for life.

Underneath him, Jason’s lips slide into a smile and his hands press around Leo’s waist, clutching onto his sweatshirt like it’s a lifeline. The boys hold each other in the darkness, because at the moment the only light is them.

There are no thoughts in Leo’s head, no anxieties and no worries and no nothing. Only Jason’s lips contaminate his mind. They taste like orange Starbursts, and Leo supposes that’s fitting because Jason’s lips feel like stars bursting across his lips, like a brand new universe against his very mouth. Each kiss turns Leo so unimaginably dizzy, but he welcomes the vertigo; he misses the disorientation of being surrounded by all of Jason. His touch is like a lightning strike, piercing Leo’s skin wherever he lays his electric touch. And it’s painful, incredibly painful, but Leo welcomes the pain because there is something so fulfilling and alarming about being in Jason’s embrace.

He’s missed this feeling. He’s missed them.

Leo trails his fingers against the soft material of Jason’s sweatshirt, losing himself in his warm arms. His lips tingle every time they meet Jason’s, an electrifying tingle that turns his entire body inside out. Every time they kiss, Jason extracts a little more of Leo’s soul to keep for himself, decoding his very DNA bit by bit, and Leo lets him. He’ll let Jason have as much of him as he wants, because for the first time in a long time, he feels whole; he has more to give than ever before. He feels so unapologetically real and solid and he wants to give Jason all that he can because in this moment he has everything to give and absolutely nothing to lose.

Jason shifts underneath his weight, and his hands press against Leo’s stomach, though this time he’s pushing him away rather than bringing him closer. Leo takes this as a sign and, after another kiss, he lifts his head up and gazes at Jason, confusion blinding his vision.

The air feels electrified, with each movement bringing on a new prick to Leo’s skin. Jason’s eyes shine brightly, sparking with life and euphoria.

For a second, Leo’s chest feels heavy with anxiety; he doesn’t want Jason to let him go just yet. He doesn’t want the moment to be over.

But it’s not over. Because the hand on Leo’s waist travels up, leaving a whispering trail against his sweatshirt, turning the hairs on his arm on end. Jason feels like pure electricity. If Leo moves too fast, he might just start a fire.

The seconds feel timeless as Jason’s fingers continue their journey up. His touch rises, finally whispering against on his collarbone, and Leo’s breath hitches. It feels like lightning, rendering him virtually paralyzed.

Jason’s fingers glide up Leo’s neck, whisper against his jawline, and finally brush against his cheek. For a second he simply waits there, watching Leo with a calculating, mad curiosity, like a scientist about to perform a highly dangerous science experiment. Outside another car speeds by, its headlights breaking through the window and striking Jason’s irises, and in that quick second, Leo sees the insane hunger in him, the desire to break out of some restraint and simply be as he is.

Then the lights slip away, allowing the darkness to pool in again, and Jason closes his eyes. His fingers no longer feel like hot electricity, though; instead they feel gentle and cool, like a breeze that gently caresses Leo’s face. He lowers his lids, too, and bows his head, allowing the dark night to fall over him.

“Leo,” Jason whispers, his voice a knife that slices through the thick silence. There’s something about the way he says Leo’s name, with excitement and awe, that sets his heart on fire. He wishes he’d repeat his name over and over for eternity.

Leo doesn’t answer, though. He only responds by pressing his fingers against Jason’s shoulder, a soft squeeze, telling him that he’s here he’s here he’s here.

A few more seconds of silence progress. But there’s something intoxicating and dizzying and necessary about the air surrounding them, as if the next few seconds will be the most important ones of Leo’s life.

Then, in a hushed, vulnerable voice, Jasons asks, “What if we fell in love?”

Leo opens his eyes. Underneath his sweatshirt, he can feel Jason’s heartbeat pulsing, aching to be heard.

And Leo hears his heart loud and clear.

“Jason,” he whispers.

Jason only stares at him.

A smile crawls over Leo’s lips, striking the darkness with a specific kind of light, an invisible light that illuminates Jason to the core.

“Jason,” he says again, but this time a low laugh echoes from his chest. He brushes Jason’s lips with his warm fingers and leans his forehead against his lover’s. “I’ve already thrown myself head-first into it.”

[fruitcoops]

could we see coops first big fight when they’re married? (essentially pure angst)

Yes, we can! Don’t worry, I got your follow-up ask about a happy ending as well--there are no sad endings on this blog, just some bittersweet ones, and this is very soft and fluffy. Hope you enjoy!

Combined with prompts for...

1. Another of Coops’ serious talks

2. Remus overworking himself to keep up

3. From @colored-rain: Sirius sleeping at Dumo’s for a night

4. Slow dancing in the kitchen

TW for couples fighting, suppression, and marriage issues

“Do you think we got married too fast?” a quiet voice asked in the darkness.

Remus paused for several heartbeats before opening his eyes and turning over; Sirius was staring at the ceiling, wide awake. “What?”

“Do you think we got married too fast?” Sirius repeated without looking at him.

“Do you?” Remus countered. Something panicky was starting to buzz in the back of his brain and he tried to keep his breaths steady. Sirius wasn’t breaking up with him. They had only been married for a few months. Things were really, really good—as far as he knew, they were both happier than they had ever been.

Sirius sighed through his nose. “I don’t know.”

“What?” Remus sat up against the headboard, wide awake. “What do you mean, you don’t know?”

“I—” Sirius shifted to sit up as well and crossed his legs. “I don’t know! People usually date for a lot longer than a year and a half before getting married, right?”

“We’ve known each other for seven years, Sirius.”

“Yes, and I love you, and you’re wonderful, but everything happened so fast.”

Remus wasn’t sure if his heart was trying to crawl out of his chest or dissolve into a puddle of pain. “Are you—Sirius, are you breaking up with me?”

“No!” Sirius said immediately. “I just said I love you, what the hell?”

“People can love each other and still break up!”

Sirius grabbed his hands, holding tight even when Remus tried to pull back and let his panic overtake him. Grey eyes locked on his, as solemn as he had ever seen them. “I’m not breaking up with you, Remus.” The clock on the nightstand beeped midnight and Sirius pressed his lips together. “We have early practice.”

“We need to talk.”

“We need to sleep.”

“Promise we’ll talk tomorrow, then.” We need to talk right now, actually.

Sirius squeezed his hands and kissed his cheek. His cheek. “I promise.”

Remus didn’t sleep much that night. His cheek burned with the memory of Sirius’ lips.

---------------------------

Their morning routine was stilted and quiet. Practice was awkward, and though neither of them let the previous night’s events influence their performance, he knew the tension was palpable. “Y’all good?” Leo asked under his breath as Remus filled his waterbottle up.

“We’re fine,” he answered, exhausted.

“Loops—”

“Stay in your lane, Knut.” He regretted the words as soon as they escaped his mouth—the kicked-puppy look on Leo’s face was more than enough to make guilt spike up—but he kept on moving down the hall and tried to wash the bitter taste from his mouth.

The ride home was worlds worse than he could have expected. Sirius turned the radio off the moment it started to play and kept his eyes firmly on the windshield the entire time, tapping his thumb against the wheel in the tic that always appeared when he was nervous. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t help us fix whatever’s going on.” Remus wasn’t angry, per say, but he was really fucking frustrated with Sirius’ sudden inability to communicate. “Talk to me. What happened?”

Sirius chewed the edge of his lip. “I was just thinking.”

There was a long stretch of silence between them. “Wow, thank you for that incredibly helpful information,” Remus said sarcastically when it became clear he wasn’t going to continue.

“You don’t have to be mean about it,” Sirius muttered.

“I’m not trying to be mean—”

“Well, you kind of were—”

“Then maybe you should talk about your problems for once!” Remus snapped before he could shove it back down. Sirius’ jaw clenched. “If we’re going to work through this, then you have to tell me what the hell happened to make you so worried and upset. Do you regret getting married to me?”

The response was immediate. “No.”

“Thank you.” He leaned his head back against the seat rest and closed his eyes. “Thank you, that was what I needed to hear.”

“Do you think we moved too fast?”

Remus scrubbed a hand over his face. “I used to. I don’t, anymore. There’s no rulebook for any of this. How long have you been thinking about that?”

Sirius started tapping the wheel again. “A couple weeks.”

He may as well have opened the passenger door and booted Remus from the car. A breath punched out of his lungs. “A couple weeks?” he whispered. The world was spinning, the floor was open, hell itself was coming to swallow him up. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I figured it was normal marriage stuff. That it would pass.”

“Oh my god.”

“I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.”

“And I do?” Remus said incredulously. “News flash: this is the first time I’ve ever been married, too!”

“Please don’t be angry.”

“Being married means you share things, Sirius, not keep them bottled up for two weeks! Especially when they concern the other person!”

Something stormy came over his face. “Oh, really? So when were you planning on talking to me about the fact that you haven’t slept in six days?”

“I literally sleep next to you!”

“You toss and turn all night, and then you get up and run drills for an hour before coming back to bed. Every time I ask how you slept, you lie to my face, Remus. That’s not okay.”

Remus was speechless. He had done everything he could think of to be quiet and careful so Sirius wouldn’t know. “I…”

Sirius glanced over at him, eyebrows raised. “Yeah, I noticed.”

Be an adult. Be an adult. You’re married. Be an adult. “I’m still worried about catching up to the team.”

“I figured. We’ve talked about this before, Re, it’s not safe for you to do that to yourself—”

“You don’t get it!” Sirius pulled into their driveway and turned the car off. “You have no idea how it feels to constantly be catching up to people! I’m fine, it’s not like I’m doing any damage!”

“I’m sorry, did you forget who you’re talking to?”

Remus clenched his teeth and got out of the car, grabbing his duffel from the backseat before slamming the door. He felt a little guilty—the rising memories of hushed confessions of hours of exercise to his father’s whistle meant Sirius understood better than anyone. Then the front door closed behind them both and the indignance on Sirius’ face sent his temper flaring up again. “You never bother to talk to me about anything that’s going on with you, so why should I even try?”

“What happened to ‘marriage is a partnership’?” Sirius followed him into the kitchen. “Have we moved on to the hypocrite stage yet or are we still clearing the air where nothing ever gets solved?”

Remus reeled back like he’d been slapped. “Fucking excuse me?”

“Every time we fight, you start all sarcastic and defensive, and then you get preachy like you’re reading something out of a fucking self-help book!” Sirius ran a hand through his hair. “Christ, Remus, it feels like I’m talking to a therapist instead of my partner!”

“Husband!” The ring on his finger had always been a comfort instead of a lead weight. “You can’t even say it?”

“I don’t regret marrying you!

“Then why are you so upset about us being married young?!”

“Because it’ll fall apart!” Sirius shouted back. “We’re going to be insufferably happy for a while, and then somewhere along the line we’re going to hate each other, and then it’ll be cold looks when we pass and different beds and all our friends will have to pick sides because we can’t stand to be in the same room together!”

“If you’re so sure about that, then why are you trying to fucking hard to keep us together?” Remus’ heart pounded like he’d run a marathon. Hearing his own fears thrown in his face was the most terrifying thing he had ever experienced.

“Because I love you.” Sirius’ voice broke. They were on opposite sides of the kitchen island, but Remus could see the pain on his face. “I love you, and I don’t want some—some impulsive decision to ruin that forever.”

“I love you, too.” Tears clogged the back of Remus’ throat. So stop pushing me away.

“Then I’ll be at Dumo’s.”

Remus nodded silently as Sirius walked past him toward the stairs; the moment he was out of sight, he headed into the downstairs bathroom and sat down with his back to the closed door, burying his face in his forearms. There was a rustle outside, and the front door closed with a click.

It wasn’t until his face itched with drying tears that he remembered Hattie. Guilt and panic stabbed through him and he scrambled back out, sprinting to her bed and then to the backyard. “Hattie?” he called, frantic with worry. “Hattie, c’mere!”

He closed his eyes and thought back to the events of the day. They had left her in the house for practice, and he vaguely remembered hearing her in the other room while they were fighting, and when Sirius left—

“Oh, you bastard,” he said aloud. The rustling of Sirius grabbing his duffel and whatever else he packed had been accompanied by the pattering of Hattie’s paws. “You took our fucking dog.”

Part of him was grateful that at least somebody had remembered their baby. The other part was absolutely furious. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and took a few deep breaths as the tone played. “Hello?”

“Can you pick me up?”

“Re, are you okay?”

“Not really. Can you pick me up?”

Concern dripped from Lily’s voice. “Where are you?”

“At home.”

“…where’s Sirius?”

“At Dumo’s.”

“I’m on my way.”

-----------------------------------

Harry Potter had been alive for less than two years, and he had been cried on by about half the Lions. Finn had started referring to him as ‘therapy baby’, and Remus was inclined to agree—it was hard to feel anything extreme when he was holding the pudgy little angel to his chest.

“So you fought?” Lily asked gently from the armchair across from him. Remus nodded. The whole story had spilled out in a gross mess of sobbing and baby snuggles until he laid down on his back, holding Harry to his chest as he dozed.

“I feel like an idiot,” he said miserably.

“Don’t.”

“It was awful.”

“I bet.”

Remus sniffled and kissed the top of Harry’s head. “Thank you for getting me. I didn’t want to be there alone.”

“I’m glad you called.” She took a sip of tea and gave him a look that he never liked. “Re, can I be honest with you?”

“Always.”

“I was kind of waiting for this to happen.” At his stricken expression, she folded her hands around the sides of her mug. “I don’t think you got married too early, because neither of you do big things like that on impulse and you love each other so much. However, I do think that you have a habit of trying to protect each other from the shit you carry with you. James did the same thing to me, and it sucked.”

“It does suck,” Remus agreed. “I hate the thought that he can’t trust me.”

Lily held her finger up and shook her head. “Nope. It’s not an issue of trust, is it? Why didn’t you tell Sirius that you were having trouble sleeping?”

“Because I didn’t want to worry h—oh.” Harry wiggled around for a moment and Remus adjusted himself so he was leaning on the armrest. “I think I get it now.”

“You guys need to talk about that at some point or it’s going to keep coming up.”

“Is that what you and James did?”

“No, we let it fester for, like, a year and then broke up for two weeks.”

Remus made a sympathetic face. “I forgot about that part. I should call him, huh?”

Lily shrugged. “It’s up to you.”

“I want to apologize,” he said carefully. The sore spot in his heart and chest still twinged. “But I’m still really upset. And hurt. And a little angry? Mostly worried. There’s so much happening, I just want to hold your baby.”

“Go for it, he’s having a blast. Lover?”

There was a shuffling sound from the other room before James appeared in the doorway. “Yes?”

Remus snorted. “Simp.”

“Yes, and? What’s up, darling?”

“Can I have some more tea?” She batted her eyelashes at him with a dimpled smile and he sighed, then took her mug with him into the kitchen.

“You only love me for my kettle!” he called over his shoulder with a grin.

“Maybe!”

Remus turned his head to look at Lily while he ran a hand over Harry’s back. “Lils?”

“Hmm?”

“Am I preachy when I’m upset?”

She frowned. “What?”

“Preachy. Like—like I’m reading out of a self-help book.”

With a heavy sigh, she stood up and walked to the couch, leaning over the armrest to kiss his forehead. “No, Re, you’re not preachy. You like being right, but you’re not preachy.”

“Sirius thinks we’ll end up like his parents.”

“I’m not surprised about that, either.” She brushed his messy hair off his forehead and braided a small strand along the front, then gave it a little tug. “Guest bedroom’s yours for as long as you need it, okay?”

“That might be a while.”

She shook her head and patted his shoulder. “It won’t.”

“Could be.”

“Remus.”

“Sorry. Sleep well, Lils.” He sat up slightly and covered Harry’s ears. “And you, eavesdropper!”

“Love you!” James laughed from the other room. Lily picked the sleepy baby up and ushered Remus into the guest room with a final ‘goodnight’.

-----------------------------------

“Am I an idiot?” Sirius asked.

The bed creaked as Dumo readjusted his legs. “No, mon fils, you’re not an idiot. You are a young man going through his first marriage spat.”

“I hate it. I hate it. I said horrible things to him.”

“It sounds like you’re both to blame.”

“No, I brought it up first.” Dumo huffed, and he let out a slow exhale into the pillow. “Okay, maybe—maybe we were both in the wrong.”

“Fights are rarely one-sided. You have a visitor.”

Something cold prodded Sirius’ ear and he groaned, then curled on his side to let Hattie onto the covers next to him. “Bonjour, sweet girl. Thank you for the cuddles.”

She licked his nose and he smiled, petting the velvety top of her head. “Are you staying here tonight?”

“I was thinking about it. Re’s got the house to himself for a bit, then, and he knows I’m here.”

“I’m glad you’re taking the time to calm down a bit,” Dumo said as he stood with a final ruffle of Sirius’ hair. “That’s a wise decision. Bonne nuit.”

Sirius mumbled a response and made more room for Hattie, then settled in for a restless night. He never wanted to sleep alone again.

----------------------------------

By some miracle, practice was more bearable the second day. Remus still ached somewhere deep inside, but it wasn’t like he had anything else left to suppress. Seeing Sirius was a relief; it surprised him at first, considering the explosive nature of the previous evening, before sliding into something that soothed him. If he could still find peace in Sirius after all that, they would be okay.

He knocked lightly on the side of Sirius’ stall after he returned from the shower. “Knock, knock. Ca—”

“Who’s there?”

Remus’ heart stuttered as Sirius looked up at him from the bench with an apologetic tilt to his mouth. Something clicked into place. “Can I get a ride?”

“ ‘course you can.” Sirius stood up just as Remus stepped forward, and they met in the middle for a tight hug. He tucked his face into the dip of Sirius’ collarbone and breathed in his shower-fresh smell, as well as the trace of laundry detergent from his shirt.

“Love you,” he murmured.

“Let’s go, mon loup.” Sirius pressed a kiss to his hair and they headed out toward the parking lot together; Remus caught Leo’s eye and saw him smile.

“How’s Dumo doing?” Remus asked as they turned out of the parking lot. Start slow, start easy. “Did you drop Hattie off at home before you came to practice?”

“Yeah, I did. He’s good, and Celeste sent me back with some brownies.”

Remus tentatively reached over and rested his hand on the side of Sirius’ thigh—his chest visibly caught before he relaxed into it and reached down to put his own overtop. “Harry’s doing well. Lily says he’s almost started running.”

“Did you go see them?”

“Stayed at their place last night.” He shrugged one shoulder. “It felt weird being there by myself.”

“Re—”

“I’m so sorry.” The words spilled out in a rush, despite his best efforts to keep it in until they reached home. “I’m sorry for everything I said to you, and especially for how I said it. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about how I was feeling, too. It should never have gotten to that point.”

“Apology accepted.” Sirius sounded a little choked up. “I don’t think we got married too soon, if that means anything.”

“Of course it means something,” Remus half-laughed as he wiped the dampness from the corners of his eyes. “It means everything.”

“I thought it might be too late.”

“Can you pull over for a second?” Sirius obliged, and as soon as he turned the car off, Remus turned to face him. He linked their hands, making sure Sirius was looking into his eyes. “It is never too late to talk to me, okay? I’m sorry if I ever made you think that it was.”

Sirius unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned over for a brief kiss that sent bubbling warmth throughout Remus’ entire body. “I’m so, so sorry for yelling at you. And for keeping everything in, even though we both promised to stop doing that. All that shit I said, it—it wasn’t true, Re, and I wasn’t thinking.”

Remus rested their foreheads together and wound his fingers in the short curls fanning Sirius’ face. “Honey, we’re not your parents.”

Sirius swallowed hard. “I know.”

“So you don’t have to be afraid that we’re going to hate each other out of the blue, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“If—” His mouth went a little dry and he faltered. “If you want to take a break, or take things slower, I totally respect—”

“Nope, no, no, no,” Sirius interrupted, grabbing his cheeks and pulling him in for another fervent kiss. “I love you. I’m happy with you. I let my head get away from me, and I’m sorry.”

“All’s forgiven, love.” They sat in silence for a minute longer as Sirius traced his jawline. “Let’s go home.”

-------------------------------------

Sirius woke up in bed alone, which would have scared him if he didn’t know exactly where his husband was. He smiled to himself and got out of bed, grabbing a hoodie off their dresser before heading downstairs.

The kitchen light was on and music played quietly from Remus’ phone over the sound of running water. “You’re up late,” he said casually from the doorway.

Remus almost dropped a pot. “Jesus Christ!”

“Just me.” Sirius wrapped his arms around his waist as he set the pot on the drying rack. “Stressed?”

“A little. I forgot to do these earlier and didn’t want to leave them overnight again.” Sirius hummed his agreement and rocked back and forth, then took Remus’ hand and spun him in a slow circle. “Oh, are we slow dancing to the Billboard Top 100 now?”

“Very romantic, I know,” Sirius laughed.

Remus shook his head with a wide grin as they swayed, much too slow for the actual song but absolutely perfect. He was beautiful in the low light of their kitchen, puffy eyes from and all. “You are ridiculous.”

I’m the luckiest person alive. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Sirius leaned down for a series of quick kisses, pulling him in until their chests pressed together. Remus let go of his hand and draped both arms over his shoulders, tangling his hands in his hair. “I know we can’t exactly control it,” Sirius said against his lips. “But let’s never fight like that again.”

“Deal.”

[messifangirl]

What do you find attractive about Messi other than his football skills be honest

lol "be honest"????? why would i have to lie about it

i mean i could go on forever but for the sake of time i’ll give you a short list of things that i find attractive **other than footballing skills**--it is by no means a comprehensive list lol

-when he laughs genuinely, he throws his head back and holds his stomach, or claps his hands in pure glee like he's just heard the funniest thing in his life

-the way he smiles, especially with kids when he lights up, those dimples appear, sometimes you see the tip of his tongue in his teeth (i've made no secret about how leo with kids is one of my fav things)

-he’s a family man and doesn’t care who knows

-when he does that "me?" look of innocence, he widens his eyes and raises his eyebrows, does that silly thing with his mouth

-he's embarrassed easily even with how good he is, he turns red and blushes just like the rest of us when he's praised, ducks his head as if that'll hide the way his ears are burning, or he fidgets with his ears and it’s so cute

-his charity work

-when he hugs he means it, he puts his whole being into it, closes his eyes, holds onto the other person for dear life, for someone who isn’t touchy feely you can tell that each of those hugs means a lot, and i want one 

-the armband, if you know you know

-the long sleeved underarmour clinging

-angry leo is hot as fuck, he’s small as shit but he will square the fuck up against you no matter what, he does that thing where he bumps his hips out against the other person, he points right at you and his eyes are furious and you have no doubt that he’s spitting curses and it’s a lot of heat all at once, i mean damn

-when he grows his hair out and some of it spills over his forehead, its all silky and shiny, can you imagine brushing it away for him

-depending on which way he turns, he has those ridiculous pointed ears that make him look like an elf, could run a finger right up them

-the tattooed forearm, those bright flowers and the cathedral window on his elbow, gorgeous 

-the way he walks, like he’s got something big between his legs lol

-he’s got such a tiny waist, those dips in his hipbones, you could just put your hands right there

-do I need to mention his ass?

[who-ever-said-i-was-nice]

Hi! I like your writing so much 🥰🥰🥰. How incredible they are! So, I have a resquest about how Napoleon, Mozart, Leo, Comte,Vincent, Will ( sorry if it is too much) react to a MC who is taller than them 😂😂😂 ( like her height is 185cm) and how they fall in love with her. Thank you so much ☺️☺️☺️

Ah girl. I'm sorry for taking so damn long. I am buried under so much work, but now I have a few minutes to spare so I decided to finish this for you. I hope you enjoy and It was worth your wait. Love you and thanks again.! Here is the part 2!

Napoleon

    Napoleon was strolling around the mansion one evening. It had been a surprisingly good day. He want out with Isaac and taught the children, he sparred with Jean. It was fulfilling. He walked passed the Door, but when he got to the end of the corridor he heard something. He turned around and hurried back, only to find..nothing. He looked both ways and was ready to dismiss it, but then he heard a small sniffle come from behind an open door a little down the hall. He opened it to reveal a very beautiful girl. And she was so tall, which only added to her beauty.He, Napoleon, The nightmare of Europe, The emperor of France, felt like the wind had been knocked out of his lungs. He quickly recomposed himself and glanced back to the woman who looked about ready to cry. He closed the door and took her hand. "Why are you hiding behind a door? Everything's alright you don't need to hide. And - he paused a little - please don't cry nunuche. He smiled at the woman and extended a hand.She took it without much hesitation. "Can I have your name?" he questioned, looking slightly up to gaze into her E/C colored eyes. " Y/n" she responded rather timidly and Napoleon felt his heart flutter.                                                                                                                                           -------------------Time skip to two weeks in-----------------     

       Napoleon still felt an odd stirring feeling whenever Y/n was around. Fortunately he had now realized why. He had fallen in love with her. He wanted to tell her, he really did, but he couldn't figure out how. One cold winter night he plucked up the courage to tell you, which was a lot harder then he would have thought. He walked out into the garden looking for a very specific flower. Finally he found it. An Algerian Iris.

He picked it with careful hands and hurried to Y/n's room. He got there and swallowed hard before knocking on her door. Y/n opened it and stared down at the man. He cleared his throat. " Y/n, I know I haven't known you for too long, but I can't suppress these feeling anymore. Over the past month you have always been there for me. We laughed together, shared memories together and even made new ones. Your smile always lights up the world and no matter what happens I want you to remember, I love you." He smiled up at Y/n. Tears of happiness streamed down her face. He offered her the tiny flower. She held it with such gentleness, as if it could shatter at any moment. She then embraced her lover as she sobbed. Napoleon hugged her back, his face buried in her neck. He urged her to lean down a bit and he kissed her. She kissed back smiling into it.

Mozart

    Mozart sat alone in his room. A thousand thoughts swirling in his mind, as he tried so desperately to perfect his new masterpiece. His skilled hands glided over the keys gracefully. Suddenly he was pulled out of his thoughts by the loud noises coming from the dining room. He got up. Annoyed at all of the residents for ruining his concentration. He walks out of the room in a hurry.  When he makes it there, he turns the corner ready to throw an insult at them, however the words die in his throat as his eyes land on the tall figure standing in the middle of the room.  He's baffled at how tall that woman was. He quickly composed himself and walked over to her. The closer he got, the more he noticed about her. The way her eyes sparkled as she talked to the residents, how she would bring her hand up to her mouth when she laughed, the sway of her hair, the way she shifted her way fro one long leg to the other. But most importantly, he noticed her eyes dart around a little when looking down, as if she was afraid of something. Mozart, however could not put his finger on it. He was soon spotted by the infamous flirt, Arthur. " Mozart! Our loved composer. Come over here don't be shy." he flashed his boyish grin and Mozart made a small noise of irritation, but cam up to her. " Hello, I am Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, composer" He looked up to find her eyes shining with excitement. "Hello! I'm Y/n. It's a pleasure to meat you! I love your music and..." She just kept going, rambling about how amazing he and his music was. Mozart will never admit it, but it warmed his frozen heart. As he watched her talk all he could think about was: ' You innocent, little lamb. Where you the one I was missing? I didn't even know I was missing something till now. Someday, somehow I will make you mine'          

                   -------------------Time skip to two weeks in----------------- 

        Mozart was playing the piano, channeling all his anger into it. He missed a note and jumped up immediately. He was angry and sad, but worst of all he felt betrayed. He banged his fists against the wall as tears streamed down his face. He didn't want to cry. He fought with all his might. but the river just kept flowing. He could not have her, he could not. That was the truth. He heard a small knock on the door. He yelled an angry 'go away', but the door opened anyway. In stepped Y/n. When she spotted him, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion and worry. She hurried over to his side and placed a delicate hand on his back. Mozart tried to trow a sarcastic comment her way, or at least push her or get her away from him, but he was rooted to the spot, crying his eyes out in front of this sweet, little lamb. " Wolf? What happened? Why do you cry?" her voice was cracking with worry and fear. Mozart lifted his head from the wall, but did not meat her eye. Instead he starred at the ceiling and spoke in and unusually quite voice. " That man...downtown. He had his arm around you....I didn't know you had a lover." He finally looked at her, only to find an expression of shock on her face. " You mean the man that walked up behind me, put his arm around me and attempted to flirt, only to get punched by Jean?" Now it was his turn to be surprised. However he could tell she spoke the truth. Had he watched a little longer he would have seen it all happen, but he was consumed by his emotions and as his anger turned to a forte, he could not look anymore.      Everything slowed down. It was a peculiar feeling. It seem like all noise had been muffled and all the thing and events faded. She smiled. A soft, sweet smile. She reached up and gently whipped his tears. She found his jealousy a bit childish, but she knew that she loved him and she would have broken down too. She understood and so she could accept. Mozart's eyes softened as he gazed into her smiling eyes and basked in her tender touch. They both moved at the same time and met in the middle. It was a sweet and gentle kiss filled with love.

Leo

      Leonardo da Vinci. The renaissance mastermind.That is what people called him, or so he had been informed by Sebastian. He always thought long and hard about that. He had invented and created a lot of things, yes, but he was not always certain he deserved that title. A nagging fear always crept up on him. Was he really that special? Was he worth it at all. After all, he faked his death. He lied to all those who adore him now. He did not deserve anything in his mind. And even if he did, he could not keep it forever. Time kills everything he loves. The people he cared for turned to dust in his hand and the hand on the clock just kept ticking. On and on and on. For eternity. He shivered and set the pocket-watch he had been fixing down. He needed some air. And a cigarillo. As he wandered the corridors he heard a bang coming from the direction of the magical door. Curious, he walked towards it only to find a simply ethereal woman standing and yanking at the doorknob. He walked up to her. " Can I help you Cara mia?" She spun around with a glare on her face looking ready to fight, but she relaxed when she saw that the man standing in front of her was not a threat.

                  -------------------Time skip to two weeks in-----------------            

       Over the course of  the week, Leo found himself enjoying her company more and more. The truth was, that he had caught feeling for her. She had beautiful h/l h/c hair and e/c eyes that sparkled every time she talked about something she liked. Not to mention, she was tall. Really tall. Taller then him actually. And he loved that. He thought it was the most beautiful thing in the world. Whenever she wore her 21st century pants or skirts you could see her lovely long legs. However he tried to push these things away. He could not harbor feeling for a woman he knew he was going to loose. He could not control or tolerate the ace in his heart every time she would pass him by, or help him with something. Unfortunately, he knew that if he gave in he would hurt a thousand times more.     It was 12 o'clock at night and he could not fall asleep. Well not that he was trying to hard. He got up and decided to walk around the mansion. As he passed Mozart's door he heart Y/n's small sobs. He stopped dead in his tracks and listened. He couldn't hear what she was saying, but he caught a few words. ".. Can't have him......doesn't love me....I'm too tall" Those words where like an electric shock to him. He could make out Mozart comforting you and another voice that he believed was Jean, but he couldn't concentrate. It felt as if the whole world caved in on him. He was selfish. He had chosen his comfort over your and now this was the price he had to pay. He should have known. The bill comes due. Always! He pulled himself together the best he could and knocked on the door. Everything went silent. Mozart opened the door, looking even more pale then usual. He was about to shut the door in his face when Y/n soft voice rang out. "Don't, it's alright. I will talk to him" Jean looked ready to protest, but he let her go anyway. The stood facing each other in the hall. Leo looking slightly up to meat her teary eyes. He reached up and wiped her face. He met her gaze once again and whispered: "I'm so sorry." He pulled her in and kissed her with everything he had. Pouring all the hurt, denial, pain and love he felt. She kissed back with just as much passion. Finally he had to pull away for air. He looked back at her again." Don't ever say, you are too tall, mia bella"

As you can see, it got really long. Idk if this is what you had in mind, but yeah. I will do the other half and maybe other residents too, because this was really fun. Once again thank you for your patience and have an amazing day/night.tags: @nad-zeta @dazaiswindow @blu-tigerr @jeanstan @ichigoamamiya @shookspearewrites @chaotic-coyote I ummm taggd you guys here, idk if you want me to tag you again next time or you want me to stop, ummmm tell me i don't really know how this works so if this is not how I'm supposed to do it, tell me. I appreciate it😅

[migeviellardi]

Out Of Comfort

Rottmnt Donnie Centric Fanfic

Genre : Adventure, Action, Humour, Hurt/Comfort

Summary : Things happens sporadically at times, especially when you meet an interesting stranger that saves you from a lonesome rock decides to fell on your head.

Chapter 3 The Stranger

Mikey : All clear.

Leo : What do you mean ‘all clear’?

Mikey : I’m making sure there’s no police around.

Raph : I thought they’d let us go.

Splinter : They are. But that doesn’t mean that you boys don’t behave.

April : It’s alright, Splints. I’ll make sure they won’t cause any troubles.

Casey : Ugh, what’s the point of life if there won’t be a trouble?

Baron : That you won’t be here, existing.

Casey : WHAT?!

April : Okay. You need to chill.

Donnie walks right behind the group as they strolls the Hidden City’s streets. Head covered in his hoodie with his hands shoved in his pockets. So far, they hadn’t realize he’s being quiet. He’s not having the mood to talk to any of them. 

Although, he agrees with Mikey, he still hasn’t trusted this whole situation. He looks around to make sure there’s no undercover cops or something, perhaps Big Mama’s goons. 

Big Mama. What could she be doing right now? There’s no telling if she’s watching or plotting something. Two years after the incident of ‘You-know-who’, was caused by that wretched spider-lady. 

Nobody knows what her deal is. Her fanatic obsessions about Battle Nexus always made everyone in the world got involve. She had no chill, she never does. Which come to wondering why would his father dated a girl like her?

“Donnie!” 

April’s voice startled him. The group had their heads turned to him. “You okay?” 

Donnie : Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.

Leo : Uh, no. You’re not.

Donnie : Can it, Leo!

Leo : You were spacing out again, Don! And considering we’ve been brothers for like,  forever, usually that means you’re not.

Donnie : Oh, so you’re an expert now?

Leo : I’m an expert to know what you’re thinking, Donnie.

Donnie : No, you’re not.

Leo : Yes, I am.

Donnie : And, why is that?

Leo : ‘Cause we’re twins.

Donnie : We’re not twins.

Leo : Whatever you trying to say, Don. I don’t care. We’re born with the same age.

Donnie : And that doesn’t MEAN that we are. We’re not even the same-

Leo : Ah ah ah, don’t wanna hear it! Lalalala~~~

Donnie : Leo-

Raph : ENOUGH!!

The twins startled at Raph’s shouting. Raph sighed, pinching his nose-bridge.

Raph : We’re here to have some fun, okay? And if I see you two fight again, imma  SHOVE YOUR HEADS into a toilet. Y’all understand me?

Leo : Yeah, yeah.

Donnie : Hmph.

Raph : Good.

Splinter groaned, massaging his constant headache. Why can his sons just behave?

Splinter : Alright, since you two done arguing, why don’t we split up-

Baron : I’ll call dibs with Mikey.

All : .............

Leo : Whoawhoawhoawhoa, did you just say ‘dibs’?!

Baron : Yes, I did.

Mikey : Aawww, okay Barry. I’ll go with you.

Leo : Does nobody questioning that he said ‘dibs’?!!

Donnie : Great, now it’s haunting me.

Raph : He looks weird saying that.

April : Am I hearing things, Barry? Did you eat something alive at your lab again?

Casey : Why you making this a big deal?

Leo : Of course, it’s a big deal. Calling ‘dibs’ is our thing!!!

Splinter : For the love of Hamato, please don’t say that ever again!!

Baron : Don’t worry. I already regretting ever saying that. But my point still stands, I’ll  go with Mikey.

Mikey : Don’t listen to them, Barry! You did a good thing.

Donnie : Michael, you better stay out of his head!

Splinter : Okay, fine. Baron will go with Mikey. I’ll go with red.

Raph : Sure thing, pops.

Leo : Nah, fam. I got somewhere else to go. I’ll fly solo.

With that, Leo took off immediately.

April : What about you, Donnie? Are you fine on your own?

Donnie : Yeah, I’ll be good. You go ahead dealing with the....

Casey : .....

Donnie : Uuh-I’ll go this way. 

Donnie left the group. He can sense for-sure that Casey staring at him. He doesn’t know why she terrifies him so much, she hasn’t done anything to him, regardless��of those times they fought her while she still a Foot-recruit. Maybe he’s just paranoid, the fact that he did forgot to take a battleshell with him. 

His hoodie made it obscure and that his brothers didn’t warned him about it means they didn’t know he didn’t use it. With that in mind, he should be more careful and not get himself involve on a fight. The fact that he also didn’t bring his bo. 

“What is wrong with me?” he said to himself. Now fully knowing that he’s extremely vulnerable and too open for an attack, he began to be more cautious. Perhaps he needs to visit a place where there’ll be no violence. A place that strict with rules, like a Mystic Library. 

No. Raph ever told him that their last visit got thrown apart by the Foot-Clan, and if he make a noise above whisper, he’ll be send to a Kiddie Room that filled with hungering monstrous children-behaved Yokais who’s out for blood.

Guess not every safe places are safe after all. 

Then, Donnie yelped as he felt being pulled backwards. Suddenly a huge rock drops in front of him and shattered to bits. Donnie went shocked as he tumbled and fall on his back. A short flying yokai flew down to him.

“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. Are you okay?” she apologized, her wings flutters real fast as he helped him up. 

“Uh, yeah yeah. I’m okay.” the fairy like yokai blew away some dust from him.

“Oh good, I am very glad.” then she turned to his left. “Thank you kindly, sir. I’m not sure what will happen if you didn’t save him.” 

Save him? Donnie looked to his left. A tall human stood still with a sharp gaze staring at him. Donnie flailed back at the guy. The stranger gave him an unexpressive look. He’s a few centimeters taller than him. His slim posture stood steady and a bit stiff. 

He’s unruly silverish grey hair nearly obscuring his slanted grey pupils in his pale skin tone. He’s collar on his cyber yellow jacket unfolded. It also unbuttoned that reveals a white blank T-shirt underneath. His hands shoved in his navy blue pants pockets, looks somewhat made out of a comfy fabric. He’s black and intricate design shoes looks appealing as well.

Donnie don’t know what to say. The stranger keeps staring at him, not saying a word, not even when the fairy said her final apology and flutters off. 

And there it was, the awkward silence. Donnie held his hands close to his chest, he knows he’s extremely vulnerable, but he needs to be ready for a fight. 

Then, the stranger walks towards him. Donnie instinctively walks backwards, keeping his distance from him. He startled and horrified as his shell hits a wall, he was cornered. The men were an inch away from his face. Donnie pressed himself against the wall, body’s trembling in fear, seeing the guy eye to eye.

Then, the guy swept his shoulder from the leftover dust. Donnie flustered by his gesture. The air somewhat less tense than two seconds ago. 

“You alright, kid?” the stranger finally asked. He spoke in a low tones, but not a deep one. Donnie was stunned, he would say something but he can’t. “Are you shook?” 

Once again, Donnie couldn’t speak. Some lump in his throat made him unable to let ou a single word. The stranger sighed, arms crossed.

“I assumed that you are, so I don’t think leaving you here alone will be a good idea.” he walks away from him. Donnie still flustered of what just happened. He stares as the guy moved away then startled when he turned back to him. “Come.” 

He ordered. Donnie isn’t sure if he should trust the guy, let alone that he’s a human. Since when there’s a human besides April and Casey walking in the Hidden City? But he did saves his life. If that rock got him without his battleshell, he probably be dead by now. 

Donnie took a deep breath and release, he followed the stranger somewhere. At least he still have his phone with him, so whenever he’s in trouble, he could call for help. Right now, he keep his distance to the guy in front of him.

What was he doing here? Is he from New York? Because he doesn’t look like he does. And his aura are extremely, menacing. He can’t see it, but he could feel the tensity whenever he got close to him.

The stranger stopped and turned to his right. Donnie was confused when he realize that he took him to the Run-on-the-mill Pizza place. Huh, so he likes pizza too.

Donnie followed him inside, he took a side on the sofa side. He points at the other end of the table, telling him to sit down. Donnie do what he told, and things back to its awkward silence. This time, the guy took his attention at his phone, ignoring Donnie’s constant staring at him. 

Donnie probably would do the same if it wasn’t with the awkwardness hanging in the air.

“Good day, gentlemen.” Donnie look up to see Hueso stood there with his notepads on his bony hands. He seems unimpressed seeing Donnie. “Anything you would like to eat?”

“Order up, kid. Don’t wait for me.” the stranger said, eyes still on his phone. Donnie blinks at the words. He looks back at Hueso who’s staring at the guy then back at him, raising his boned-eyebrow. 

“Uuuh, as usual. Please.” Donnie forced out to smile. Hueso notice that, he wrote his order at the notepads. Then, turned to the stranger. 

“Whatever the kid’s ordered, make it two. I’ll take the bill as well.” he said, still not looking up from his phone. Hueso wrote it down and took off, he took the chance to pat Donnie’s shoulder.

It made him jumped, not sure what’s that for. He watched Hueso leave until he’s longer visible.

“Something bothering you?” Donnie looked back to the voice. The men stares at him at last. The lump in his throat is back, but he knew he can’t stay quiet forever, the guy knew he could speak. He might gets angry and pissed if he didn’t talk.

Donnie clears his throat, gathering his courage to speak up.

Donnie : Um, thanks. For saving me.

Stranger : It won’t happened if you didn’t spaced out.

Donnie : Oh, yeah, that I...*rubbing his neck* I didn’t mean to- Well, I guess I can’t help  it.

Stranger : Can’t help what?

Donnie : Well, I dunno. I just can’t think straight for these past years, science block often  drives me crazy.

Stranger : Science block?

Donnie : More of a tech block, I guess. I just, every time I tried to built things it’s just  didn’t work, all I do it’s fix and fix and FIX-

Stranger : Kid.

Donnie : -it keeps jeopardizing my usual productivity, if wasn’t for a certain  ‘you-know-who’ who took pleasure destroying my LAB that I built since I was  NINE-

Stranger : You what?

Donnie : -destroying my techs like layers of newspapers, my home, my family’s life!!  Sure, we start off with new lifes now that we’re ‘Hamatos’, elite group of ninjas  or whatsoever. Yeah, life was good, until I certainly am NOT!!

Stranger : Okay, kid-

Donnie : -And what would I do? Quit? Run away? Oh, I could. I thought about it. But of  course, my father won’t let me. Keeping me in full surveillance 24/7, For  YEARS!!

Stranger : KID!!

Donnie flinched, then he looked around to see Hueso, with their orders in his hands, and all the customers staring at him. Donnie felt very embarrassed, he pulled down his hood to cover his face, looking away towards a wall. Hueso sighed heavily. 

“Here are your orders.” he puts down two large portion of pizzas on the table. Donnie held on to his hood, ducking his head onto his arm. “If you like, I’ll call Pepino to-”

“No.” Hueso blinked, “No, please don’t! Don’t call anyone!” his voice was semi-whispered. Hueso can see his hand trembles clutching the fabric of his hoodie. Hueso felt sympathetic, it wasn’t the first time the turtle took this place to vent his feelings. 

“I will get some coffee, my treat.” Hueso took off again. The Stranger glanced at the kid, he could hear some sniffles coming off of him. He knows the kid’s crying. He held on to his hoodie for dear life, not wanting everyone to see his tears.

He hates it, Donnie hates it. Crying means weakness, feelings that aren’t supposed to show that make him more vulnerable. He can only hope his family and friends didn’t know about this. He doesn’t want them to worry, he wanted them to stop. He’s fine, he can take care of himself. He’s also a Hamato, he can fix his own problem.

“Sorry.” the word took him back to reality, he sniffles as he slowly peeks from below his hoodie. “Didn’t mean to upset you, kid. I just concern that if you keep spacing out like that, you might hurt yourself.”

The stranger apologized to him, why? What did he do? It was him that supposed to be sorry. For what he done, Donnie just revealed his whole problems to a total stranger. Now, he’ll probably payed the price. Way to go, Donnie. What a way to keep yourself from trouble. Now watch this stranger use your weaknesses to enslave you.

Suddenly, a small blue entity appeared on his face. Donnie flinched, the blue thing looks at him. It looks like a little ghost, with it looks limbless and its body looks like tiny tendrils work as torso and arms with its round head containing two white friendly eyes.

The little thing squeaks, tilting its head. It was a cute to look at. It then flew close to Donnie’s face and hugged his cheek with its tiny tendril arm. It felt warm and comforting, as if it was a real hug. Donnie hovered his hand onto the thing, wondering how to hug back the thing without squishing it.

It then let go of the hug and gently patted his head, telling him to calm down. Donnie wipes his tears, he smiled at it. The blue thing smiled back, twirls happily knowing its attempt of comfort works.

It then flies towards the stranger, perching on his finger. The stranger smiles down at his little friend. It squeaks away, seems talking to him. Donnie titled his head slightly, curiosity began to appear.

“What is that?” he asked. The stranger glances at him. “It looks, cute. It’s that a ghost?”

“This is a wisp, kinda like a small ghost. And also, it’s a ‘she’. Not an ‘it’. Her name is Sia.” he explain. Sia waves happily at him, Donnie waved back. 

“Their more of a soul remnants rather than ghost. Whenever someone or something died, their memories remains, in a form of a wisp.” he added. Donnie blinks, he don’t know souls did that.

“So, are you a....psychic?”

“Kinda.”

“So, you can see ghost. And,....her type of thing?”

Sia flew circling the stranger’s head, “Yes, that’s what psychic means.”

“Well, I know. It just--are there more around here?” 

The stranger looks around him, from corners to corners. Then back at Donnie. “There are, but not much. Five including the one besides you.”

“My what?” then a small greenish entity appears right beside him. Donnie startled. It looks exactly like Sia, only it’s on different color. Donnie somehow felt a familiar precent from it, suddenly a tear came down to his cheek. He startled, what makes him cry?

“Who-who’s this?” he asked.

“Some wisps might wanders around aimlessly when they separated from their souls.” Donnie glanced back at him, “Others, might come back and followed whoever they’re close to.” 

“Whoever they close to?”

“The same case with the one in front of you.” Donnie’s eyes widened. This wisp is whoever close to him? Who was it? Why it felt familiar? 

“And, I believe it’s a ‘she’ as well.”

Donnie gazed back at him, tears began to streams out some more, “And, her name is Karai.” the men revealed. Donnie shocked hearing her Gram-Gram’s name. He looked down to the wisp, she nodded at the sound of her identity. 

Donnie’s tears began to burst. It might not be a real form of her body, but it’s enough to make him pulled her small presence into a hug. Donnie let himself cry one last time, holding close the wisp of his dead Gram-Gram to his chest. 

He could feel the wisp hugged him back. He felt it somehow, the warmth of her arms began to wrapped around him, hugging him close. Almost felt like she never left, that she’ll always be there. Watching over him, accompanying him. He didn’t get to spent much time with her, he wish he could. He wished she still alive. Here with his family.

Donnie let go off the hug, wiping his tears. He cupped his hands to let his wisp sits��on his hands. He smiled, she’s not Gram-Gram, but she’s the closest thing about her.

Then, he realized that the stranger still there. He quickly dried his tears with his sleeves, gathering back his bearings.

“Sorry, I...Name’s Donnie by the way.” he finally introduced himself. The stranger raised his eyebrow. He held out his hand at him. Donnie stares at it and took the handshake gesture.

“Silver. Just call me Silver.”

[cordonian-literature]

The Aftermath - Ch. 16

Overwhelming Memories

SUMMARY: Riley remembers Theodore

Word Count: ~6.4k

Warnings: Language, mention of drug abuse

A/N: this chapter is entirely flashback. we jump backwards, then slowly move forwards, but we don’t go fully into present time.  

*All characters belong to Pixelberry, except those that are unique to my story (I’ve also used some characters and fictional instances from Donna Tartt’s “The Goldfinch”)*

Catch up here

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I’m so sorry, I don’t know if the tags are working or not... but I hope I got everyone down! If I missed someone, or anyone wants to be added/removed, let me know! 

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...About ten years ago...

- Riley -

The safety that I felt in Liam’s arms would always be unmatched. I wanted to stay in his embrace forever, under the starless New York sky. But after spending a tedious day collecting Madeleine’s wedding ring, helping Drake go shopping, then having to impress Adelaide at the U.N. party, I was terribly exhausted. The tiredness was new and... disturbing. I told myself that it was the emotional strain that added to my fatigue, though I was still uneasy about it. 

I pull away from Liam. “It’s getting late. Won’t you be missed?”

His face falls. It’s a look I’m too familiar with. “I’m afraid you’re correct. We should probably return to the hotel... and the rest of the world. Allow me to walk you back to your room?”

“Of course,” I allow, not ready to leave him. 

The walk is short and familiar. I resist the urge to pull him back and let us both get lost in the night. I turn to look at him, his hand tightly clasped in mine, and he smirks. 

Liam enjoys staring out at the landscape of the park and the people in it. I look in the other direction, subtly glancing at the faces of people who passed by. My heart gives a jolt when I see a familiar side-profile, but the man turns his head and I am proven wrong. 

And then I notice the person next to him, Boris, and Boris notices me. He points in my direction, and Theodore turns to look. Theo and Boris stop in their tracks and stare at me while I walk on with Liam. I look away, hoping that they wouldn’t try and come up to us. 

Liam and I part ways in the lobby. There are two elevators, and we each take a separate one. 

I feel the floor below me begin to rise, which sends a queasy feeling into the pit of my stomach. I wonder how Theo and Boris must’ve felt seeing me. Boris was Theo’s college friend, and I had only known him for a few weeks before I left. I know I went away abruptly and didn’t contact them after I had gone, but I hadn’t exactly believed that they deserved an explanation from me. 

Once inside the hotel room, I begin taking off my shoes, but the nausea comes back. I lean forward, and sensing that I’m about to empty my stomach onto the floor, I race to the bathroom and throw up into the toilet.

It lasts for longer than I expected it. I run through all the reasons for my having thrown up, wondering if it was something that I ate, or maybe I was sick?

I manage to pick myself off of the floor and brush my teeth. Walking back towards the bed, I take off my dress and put it to the side when I notice a notification on my phone. 

It’s a text from Theo.

Hey Riley. I know we haven’t talked. It was nice to see you. I hope you’re doing well. 

Bertrand had told me to speak to any of my friends in person, so I had ignored the texts on my phone ever since Liam’s coronation. I didn’t know whether I should answer him or not, but then he texts me again:

Just wanted to say that I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be hanging around that guy so much. Someone else could have seen you. Boris and I did

At that, I got angry. My relationship with Liam was none of his business!

Mind if I hop by for a visit? 

yes, actually, i do mind

That’s too bad. You’re staying in the same hotel as Boris. What a coincidence. What’s your room number?

I sigh and give it to him, somewhat afraid that he would just barge into every room to try and find mine. There was always a chance that he was intoxicated one way or another, so the safest bet was to not agitate him. 

A few minutes later, there’s a knock on the door. I open it to find Theo. He looks exhausted, but his suit is new. I wonder what he spent his day doing. 

“Hey, Riles.”

“Hey, Theo.”

“How’ve you been holding up?”

I shrug. “I’m doing alright.” 

“How long have you guys been in New York?”

“A little over a day.”

He nods and walks into the room, closing the door behind him. I stare at him, hoping that he would make eye contact and understand that I wanted him to leave, but he doesn’t look at me.

“Alright, Theo, it’s late. I’ve had a long day and want some sleep. It was nice seeing you, but,” I point at the door, “good night.” 

He doesn’t say anything, but takes out a pack of cigarettes. He lights one and takes a long drag. “Riles, I think you should be careful around him.”

“Who, Liam?” I scoff. “Why? Actually, don’t answer that, I don’t want your input on my love life.”

“I’ve read up about Cordonia ever since your name kept popping up in the news. The court isn’t exactly a nice place, is it? Liam’s half brother... what’s his name?” 

“Leo?” I give him. 

He snaps his fingers. “Yes. Leo’s mother. Everyone knows why she left court. I bet they expect you to do the same thing eventually.” 

“For your information,” I start. “I’ve made friends in court. It’s not so bad.” 

“Really?” He raises his eyebrow and takes another drag. The smell of it engulfs the room. “So his fiancée... she’s fine with you hanging around her man?”

“She’s actually allowing it.” I sit on the edge of the bed. “All she wants is the crown.” For a moment, I pause and stare out the window. “She’s not making it too easy for me though. She made me pick up her wedding ring today. And she keeps talking about ‘training me’ to be presentable in society.” 

He shakes his head. “None of us ever find enough kindness in the world, do we?”

“That we don’t,” I comment. “Especially not us commoners.” 

Theo struggles to hold in a laugh. “I always found that term a bit funny. Commoners. As if they’re anything special. All they’ve got riding for them is power that their ancestors were able to beat out of poor communities a couple hundred years ago. If their citizens were ever determined to get rid of the monarchy, trust me, those royal pomps wouldn’t last a day against a rebellion.”

I roll my eyes, but say nothing. Theo wasn’t in a position to comment on Cordonian politics.

We sit in silence for a few more minutes, Theo fiddling with his cigarettes while I contemplate asking him to leave. I feel nauseous again, so I run into the bathroom and empty my stomach. 

When I come back, Theo stares at me with wide eyes. 

“What?” I ask, irritated. “Never seen a girl throw up before?” 

“No, no, it’s just... are you sick or something?” 

“No. At least, I don’t think so.” 

He raises his eyebrows. “How long have you been feeling like that?” 

“Like... a week? I remember feeling the need to throw up on the plane ride to Shanghai, but it was fleeting. I’ve just been so exhausted this entire trip. It’s probably just that.” 

Theo sighs and puts out his cigarette on the table next to my bed, leaving a dark circle. “Riley you’ve got to be kidding. You fucking idiot, you’re pregnant.”

I frown, hoping that he was joking, but the annoyance in his tone was enough to tell me that he was serious. The symptoms could just mean that I was about to get my period. But then I remembered that I hadn’t been keeping track. “That’s... that’s impossible.”

He puts his hands in his pockets and tilts his head. “Really? You’ve got the nausea and the fatigue, and the privileged royal boyfriend to go with it. I’m guessing you missed your period, too?”

“Okay, wait.” I put up my hands. “‘Privileged royal boyfriend’? What does Liam have to do with this?” 

“Riley, don’t be stupid. I’m guessing he didn’t wait to get engaged before you two got it on?” 

“First of all, stop. Second of all, that doesn’t mean anything.” 

“So you’re telling me I’m wrong? You guys were never intimate, and there’s no chance of that being his kid?” He points at my stomach.

“I’m not saying there’s not a chance, just... wait, who are you texting?” 

Theo had taken out his phone and was typing something. “Boris,” he tells me. “Asking him to bring us a pregnancy test. Do you think that store a couple blocks down would have one or will he have to go all the way to Brooklyn?”

I grab the phone from his hands, leaving him mildly surprised. “Don’t involve Boris in this, it’s none of his business!” I look down at the phone, seeing that Theo already sent the message. “And it’s none of your business, either, Theo, so I would really appreciate it if you would leave!” 

There’s a knock on door, and Maxwell’s voice calls out, “Blossom, can we come in?” 

Theo and I turn to each other, eyes wide. I grab his shoulder and push him into the bathroom and he snatches his phone back. I go to open the door, and come face-to-face with Maxwell and Bertrand. 

“Boy, am I shocked to see you, Maxwell!” I cry, trying to sound cheerful through the anxiety.

“Really?” he asks, taken aback. 

“Not even a little. Bertrand on the other hand.” I turn to look at him, and find him as grim as ever. 

“Yes, yes. I have returned, but that’s not the big news.”

“What is it?” I question, glancing back at the bathroom door, hoping that Theo wasn’t eavesdropping. 

Bertrand turns to Maxwell, who reveals that he was able to narrow down Tariq’s address.

“That’s great!” I exclaim. “We should—”

Bertrand interrupts me. “Don’t let your enthusiasm get the better of you just yet.”

Of course there was a catch. Maxwell had narrowed it down to ten locations, which was still good, so I tell him to give himself a pat on the back. 

“Wait,” I jump in. “At the party, Adelaide mentioned that Tariq only wears Sartorini shoes. Is that helpful?”

“Actually... yes!” Maxwell cries. 

“Only a few of the shops carry that brand, so you can focus your efforts on the addresses from those that do,” Bertrand states, a genuine smile on his face. 

“Wait, did you say ‘when we get to L.A.’?” Now I was really hoping that Theo wasn’t listening in. 

I thought that the engagement tour was taking a surprise detour, but Maxwell tells me that only him, Hana, Drake, and I would go on one of the royal jets. Unfortunately, Liam wasn’t coming with, but my heart was put a little at ease when Bertrand said that Liam was giving us the jet. At least he knew we were going. 

“We’ll be off to L.A. in the morning!” Maxwell states while Bertrand turns to leave. “Sleep well, blossom, we’ve got a big day ahead of us!” 

Once the door closes behind them, Theo comes out of the bathroom. “Have your friends told you what’s gonna happen if you don’t find the guy?” 

I sigh. “Don’t be so negative. Clearly, you were listening in, so you know that Maxwell narrowed down his address.” 

“True, but rich folks got a way of hiding themselves.” 

“Please.” I scoff. “Tariq’s not that smart.” 

“Well.” Theo looks around thoughtfully. “He contrived this whole scheme to make you look bad. Put up the photographer and everything.” 

“For your information,” I start, sitting back onto the bed after feeling a bit dizzy. “It was the King Father who did all that. Had his guard give an offer to one of the noble ladies who could send a message to Tariq and hire a photographer.”

Theo’s eyebrows jump up. “Really? And you still want to marry into that family?” 

“Theo, stop it. Liam is nothing like his father. When we confronted Constantine, he defended me—”

“Sure he’ll do that behind closed doors and in front of those closest to him, but did he do that when you were getting dragged out of the palace? When you were being called a whore internationally?”

“Theo, stop—”

He interrupts me and keeps going, “At the end of the day, he followed his father’s orders. He publically ousted you while keeping the prim-and-proper born-to-be-Queen on his elbow, ready to slam anyone who said anything distasteful about the monarchy. Even if it’s different behind closed doors, how do you know it’s not just to make you feel better about the fact that you’ll never have him?” 

“He did that to protect me! And he’s genuine about his feelings towards me!” I try to convince him, but he doesn’t listen.

“Riles, that’s bull and you know it. ‘Protect you’ my ass. He’s protecting himself. It looks bad to his people if he’s hanging around someone who’s been publicly shamed and has ‘betrayed’ him, and it would look bad internationally because it’d seem like he’s got his priorities twisted.”

He crosses the room to come and grab me by the shoulders, then continues, “Riley, please tell me that you see through the façade. What’s gonna happen when you can’t find this Tariq guy? Huh? Is your knight in shining armour gonna get rid of his fiancée and marry you? Open your fucking eyes, Riley.” He shakes me. “He’s willing to put you through unhappiness to make himself happy. Right now, he’s got the best of both worlds, and he’ll do anything to keep it. I’m sure he cares about you in his own way, but he’s privileged, and won’t ever know the full extent of the shit he’s making you go through, and I doubt he feels bad for it. If his country was on the line, I’m sure he’d do it again without hesitation.”

Before I can argue with him more, there’s another knock on the door. Theo allows me to go open it, and I find Boris, holding up a pregnancy test. 

“Here,” he says, his accent thicker than I remember. Boris holds out the box to me, and to avoid an awkward conversation, I rush to the bathroom. 

I take the test, then put it on the sink and wait. 

“Did you take it?” Theo calls, knocking on the bathroom door. 

“Yes, now I have to wait.” I never imagined this would be the way that I’d find out I was going to be a mother. I wanted Liam to be here. Theo and Boris felt like strangers, and I couldn’t shake Theo’s little speech out of my head. I knew that Liam loved me. More than once he had told me that he wanted to give me the world. I even had to convince him not to leave his country behind because of me! Doesn’t all that mean something?

It doesn’t mean shit. Those are just words, a voice in my head says. It sounds like Theo. I want it to shut up. 

“How long does that shit take?” Theo calls again. “Riley, can’t you check? It’s been more than five minutes.” 

I get up off my spot on the floor, embarrassed about having gotten lost in my thoughts. 

I desperately wanted there to only be one line just so I could go out there and rub it in Theo’s face. But there are two lines. 

Liam and I are going to be parents. 

“Riles?” I hear Theo’s voice. 

“Maybe she jump out of window?” Boris wonders aloud. I hear the sound of a smack, and know that Theo probably hit him. 

I open the door, holding the pregnancy test in my hands. “I’m pregnant,” I announce. I feel overly self-conscious and overly aware of my surroundings. 

Boris’ eyes go wide, while Theo stares at the test. 

“What now?” Boris asks. “You going to tell the father?” 

Does he care enough to hear it? the voice says again.

“Yeah,” I say out loud, trying my best to ignore the whispers in my head. “I’ll go right now.”

“Are you stupid?” Theo yells, blocking my path. “Riley, weren’t you listening to me?” 

“I was listening, Theo!” I yell at him. “Everything that you said was crap! I know how Liam feels about me! I know that his feelings are honest and genuine! I know that he loves me, and there’s nothing that you can say to convince me otherwise!” 

“Riley, you’re crazy!” he screams. “If you’re not going to see him for the lying royal cheat that he is, then let me break it down for you. He’s a politician, alright? Imagine him as just that. He’ll do anything to make sure that his image isn’t ruined! He’s already put you through pain! He’s one of the most powerful people in the world, he could do anything with the snap of a finger and no one could stop him, or would even try to stop him.”

Theo’s right. Liam is the king. Sure, he only rules over a small European country, but he’s one of the most powerful people on the continent, if not the world. Even though Constantine was the one who plotted against you, he’s only the King Father now. Liam holds more power over him. He could have made Constantine give a statement, but was willing to put you through continued shame just so people wouldn’t question the monarchy. Just so his throne would be secure. 

“So what do you want me to do, huh?” I yell at Theo. Tears brim at the edge of my eyes. As much as I want to give in to the thoughts and just give up, I don’t want to stop fighting for Liam and I. I can’t stop fighting for us. What else do I have left?

The baby, which technically, is a part of Liam. So leaving wouldn’t be leaving entirely. You’d still have that little piece of him.

“Ah,” Theo exclaims, running a hand through his hair. “I... didn’t really think that far.” 

“Well, what am I supposed to do?” I question. “If you don’t want me to go tell Liam?”

“Of course not,” Boris comments. “How you know he will not make you get rid of it?”

“He would never do that!” I yell. 

“Riley.” Theo sighs. “I’m not gonna say it.” 

“Then don’t say anything!” I try to back away from them, but bump against the wall. “Liam would never do anything like that. And I wouldn’t do that to him. I know how much he wants a family!”

Theo grabs my shoulders, and his voice is frighteningly comforting when he says, “Don’t, Riley, don’t fall for it.” 

“Fall for what?” I blink up at his green eyes. 

“Believing that you might have what could never be yours.”

I stare at him for a few more moments, trying to calm down the thousands of words and thoughts that were running through my mind. 

Finally, Boris speaks up: “My wife and children live in Sweden. I was going to leave in morning. We can go there for few days, figure shit out. I call my pilot, jet can be ready in few hours.”

Theo lets go of me, and my shoulders feel sore from where his hands were. “That sounds like a plan.” He turns to look around the room. “Is your stuff in your suitcase or did you put it in the drawers?” He opens a drawer, taking out a neatly folded pile and putting it on the bed. Theo continues to do that until all the drawers are empty.

When I walk towards my suitcase, I feel like someone else is walking. I was no longer myself. Wasn’t I supposed to stand by Liam’s side no matter what? Why am I leaving? What good will that do to our relationship? I don’t want to leave him. I don’t think I can. 

Yes, you can. Just like you both were separated after the Coronation. Remember how easy it was for him to let you go? During those few weeks before the engagement tour, he didn’t call or text or even send anyone to give you a message. If you leave again, he won’t really care. Just like he didn’t care the last time. He’s got more important things to worry about.

Unfortunately, there’s another knock on the door. I’m practically sick of that sound at this point, but I still go to open it. 

“Drake?” I exclaim when I see him. His clothes look like he threw them on in a hurry, and he’s got some serious bed head. I would probably think it was cute if I wasn’t so anxious. “What are you doing here?” 

“I heard yelling,” he tells me. “Wanted to make sure you were okay.” 

“This isn’t the social season, Drake. You don’t have to act like my bodyguard anymore.” 

He gives a thick laugh, his throat heavy with sleep. “I’ll always be here to keep you safe, Brooks.”

We stand there for a while longer, not saying anything. 

This may be the last time you ever see him again. 

“Did Maxwell tell you that we’re going to L.A. tomorrow?” Drake tries to continue the conversation. He’s still standing in the doorway, but when he takes a half step forward, I understand that he wants to come in. I close the door behind Drake, suddenly remembering Theo and Boris. When I turn around and don’t see them, I feel glad that they had some sense to hide away.

“Yeah,” I say. Turning around, I see Drake staring at the piles of clothes on my bed. 

“You trying to organize your stuff before we go?” he asks. 

I struggle to speak, knowing that the next few words would not only determine what would probably turn into the next few years of my life, but the first few years of my baby’s life. “No, uh... I’m leaving.” 

Drake’s head snaps in my direction. “Leaving? What do you mean leaving?” 

I don’t say anything, and he walks closer to me. 

“Brooks you mean leaving for L.A. in the morning, right?” 

I feel numb when I say, “No. I’m leaving court.” 

He gives a forced laugh. “You’re joking, right? Tell me you’re joking.” When my expression doesn’t change, I notice a panic in his eyes. “Brooks you’ve got to be kidding. This is some type of elaborate joke, isn’t it? Is Maxwell going to jump out of the bathroom and scream ‘You’ve been pranked’?” Drake moves towards the bathroom door and gives the handle a shake. “Why’s the bathroom locked? Whatever.” 

Drake moves towards the piles of clothes on my bed. He grabs one and puts it back into the drawer. “You’re not leaving, Brooks. We’re so close to finding Tariq and fixing everything.”

“The engagement shower is tomorrow,” I tell him. I don’t feel like myself when I speak. God, I feel so tired. “We’ll never make it in time.” 

“How could you say that, Brooks, of course we will! You and Liam, you two are meant for each other, you’ve gotta—” 

He turns to look at me, and seeing that I haven’t moved, he stops working. We stare at each other, waiting for one of us to say something, but when we slip into further silence, he closes the drawer and walks to the door. 

“You’re not leaving, Brooks. I don’t believe it. I know you’re going to do what’s best for you and Liam.” 

He seems like he wants to continue, but when I don’t say anything more, he opens the door and leaves. 

When Boris and Theo come out of the bathroom, they don’t speak. I imagine that they’re waiting for me to change my mind or comment on what Drake said, or something. But I feel too tired to talk, too tired to fight the words in my head that wouldn’t stop saying negative things about Liam. I let the voice in my head take over, and in a blur I pack the rest of my things. 

About an hour later, Boris announces that the jet is ready. We leave the hotel quickly, hoping that no one would notice me. It was late, and I knew the entire court would be asleep by now, but I wasn’t going to take any risks. 

As soon as I take my seat on the jet, I fall asleep. When I wake up, we’re already over the ocean. I turn to see Boris and Theo sleeping, too. I wanted it to be Maxwell and Drake. 

Okay, no, wait wait wait wait wait... you just left. Just like that. Without saying goodbye? You didn’t even get to say a proper one to Drake, you didn’t tell Maxwell good night, you haven’t seen Hana since Shanghai, and you left Liam after telling him that you loved him just a few hours ago? 

I feel too weak to fight my thoughts anymore. They were annoying me. I want to tell them to take a side, but the nausea and the fatigue are too much for me. I can’t handle it anymore.

... 

My marriage to Theo had happened so suddenly that I didn’t even realize that I was married by the end of it. Still a few months before my delivery, Theo and Boris come up to me to say that they think I should change my name. I tell them that I don’t want to keep running, that I want to go back to Liam. 

Theo tells me that this isn’t a good time for us to be entering Cordonia. We argue, and the discussion lasts for days. Once or twice I was about to just pack my bags and leave, but I couldn’t bring myself to. 

Without telling me, Theo had contacted my mother, who advised that I marry him. 

That made both of us blush like teenagers. I knew my mother had always liked Theo ever since we were both kids. She had even told me that he was the ‘perfect match’ for me, but I never listened to her, and I disagreed. 

That night, sitting with Boris and Theo, we made a plan as to what we were going to do. Boris’ wife, Astrid, said that getting married was nothing permanent, and would just keep me and the baby safe until I could go tell Liam. Boris laughed at that, and the two of them walked away to go plan our wedding. 

The event was in Amsterdam. I was already showing a little, so I didn’t really get to have the dress that I wanted, but I still loved it. 

Even through the distance, I felt a connection to Liam. Not just because I was about to have his kid, because in a way I felt like I was doing the same thing as him. Marrying someone I didn’t love to protect those I care about. 

I had kept away from any news articles or conversations that had anything to do with Cordonian politics, so for a long time I didn’t know whether he had married Madeleine or not. 

My mother attended the wedding. Afterwards, Theo and Boris pulled her into the discussion of me changing my name. My mother agreed. I didn’t want to change my first name, so I took Theo’s last name and became Riley Blaise. 

... 

Theo had always told me that he never wanted kids, so I was shocked to see him take on the roll of father so effortlessly. He became busy when he started up his business with Boris, but the fact that he always made time for Gabriel and I made my heart swell, even though I was forever angry at him for how he twisted me into leaving Liam. 

Throughout the pregnancy and Gabe’s first year, Theo gave up smoking, and told me that he stopped taking all the stuff that he used to. It was a long process, and he went through terrible withdrawals, but I helped him through it. I knew it was a sickness. I didn’t want him to suffer. 

We made Boris and another friend of ours, Rowan, the Godparents of Gabriel.

My mother always nagged us about wanting to spend time with her ‘Grandbaby,’ so every Friday night, Theo, Rowan, and I (and when Boris was in New York, he would come along, too) always went out for drinks or for dinner and leave Gabriel with my mother. 

And then one morning, after we had drank too much the night before, Theo and I woke up side by side in his bed. We had respectfully slept in our own rooms ever since we married and moved into a New York penthouse, and I couldn’t believe that we had just crossed that line. I took my clothes from his room and snuck out of bed, hating myself. 

For the most part, I still let myself believe that I was with Liam. Now I had felt like I had betrayed him. 

A few weeks later, I cursed myself when I started having consistent nausea. I took a test, and found that I was pregnant. I took that as a sign that I had to go back to Liam. If I didn’t, then this fake-life with Theo would become my real life. I didn’t want to let go of Liam permanently. 

Receiving an invitation in the mail was my perfect opportunity. Maxwell was asking me to come to Bertrand and Savannah’s wedding. I had cut ties with everyone, blocking them on every platform, changing my number, and deleting my email. How he found me, I never knew, but I was grateful nonetheless. 

I explained to Theo, and he let me go. I hadn’t told him I was pregnant yet. I decided that I would have to figure that out later. Liam was my top priority. Liam and the life we were supposed to have together.

I checked online, and found that he hadn’t gotten married, and there was no news of him being in any romantic relationships. My heart was put at ease, but only partly; no one knew much about his private life, so his lack of romantic activity was just hopeful guessing. 

I found news of Bertrand and Savannah’s wedding online, too. Liam was officiating the ceremony. I would see him. He would see me. We could talk. 

But before I could even enter Maxwell and Bertrand’s home, a guard pulled me to the side and I came face-to-face with Regina, who told me to back off, that I didn’t have any right to come back to try and ruin the monarchy. 

I didn’t even get a chance to protest before being thrown in the back of a van. There was no way I was going to be forced away again without a fight, so I kicked and screamed until the nausea came back. 

And then, just like when Theo took me away to Sweden, I gave up. I was so, so tired. 

Theo apologized when I came back. He said he felt bad for everything. After spending a whole night crying in my room, he came to me and said that he would help me get back to Liam. 

I told him that was impossible now, since I was pregnant. 

And so, for Gabriel and for our baby, we tried to make our life together real. Though it was painful, and I could never bring myself to forget about Liam, we managed. 

When the baby was born, I named her Eleanor. I was so deep into my fantasy of what could have been if Liam’s mother never died, that I gave my husband’s daughter the name of my love’s mother. 

Theo didn’t know Eleanor was the name of Liam’s mother. I just told him that was a name I found pretty. It was either between Eleanor or Audrey, Theo’s mother’s name. We put that as her middle name, and she was named Eleanor Audrey Blaise. 

Whenever I even looked at Gabriel, there was an overwhelming joy. Sure he had my hair, but his eyes and his nose were Liam’s. The ‘O’ shape his mouth would make whenever he was surprised or confused was all Liam. His cheeks were chubby, but I knew that when he would grow older he would look even more like his father. 

And I felt the same way with Eleanor. We had the same hair, but her eyes were as green as Theo’s. There was an affection for Theo that I didn’t really want to be there. 

We fell into this state of fake-love, where it was real enough for the kids to believe it, it was real enough for friends and other family members to believe it, it was even real enough for us to take comfort in it — but neither of us forgot that Liam was the one I truly loved. It was never Theo. It would always be Liam. 

...At The Met...

After dropping of Gabriel and Eleanor at their practices, Theo and I were walking around the Met. He said that he knew where the new exhibit was, but he wanted to walk around and admire the older exhibits first.

We eventually came to a section that I guessed was European history. We looked around at canons and weapons that were used in wars more than a hundred years ago. We saw portraits of monarchs and national leaders. There was a small section on Cordonian history that only held the replica of a double-sided sword and an incredibly large portrait of a warrior queen. 

“Kenna Rys,” Theo tells me. “Isn’t that Liam’s last name?” 

“She must be his ancestor,” I say, leaning forward to regard the portrait closely. “It’s beautiful. More beautiful than I expected. It reminds me of Cordonia.” 

“Isn’t that the whole point of beautiful things?” Theo asks. 

“What is?” 

“That they connect you to some larger beauty. For everyone else, her portrait connects them to history, and what Cordonia is today due to her. For you, the connection is Gabriel, and through him, Liam.”

I don’t answer him and continue staring at Kenna. When other people inch forward to look, I step to the side and pull Theo away.

His words remind me of Liam’s constant worry of what kind of king he would be. I miss how he would confide in me. The longing for him is heightened after seeing the portrait. 

I turn to Theo and ask, “Do you think Gabe would ever be able to bring change?”

“What do you mean?” He looks straight ahead, worried only about getting to the exhibit.

“Like... what will his story be? And our’s for that matter?”

“We don’t fit into a story, Riley. We don’t have a story.”

He leads me down a few more hallways, and when we reach a few signs that say “Grand Opening,” he slows his pace and says: 

“We can’t choose who we are, and whatever that is, we can’t escape it. There’s no escape for anyone. Even the beautiful stories are like soft fruit about to spoil.”

“Do you think that’s what Gabriel is?” I turn to him. “A beautiful story about to spoil?” 

“Beautiful? In his own childish way, yes. About to spoil? Not yet.” 

We look around at oil paintings I remember having seen before. I look around, wondering at the stories of people in the art work and the people viewing the art. Theo looks around intently at everything in front of him. I see him take out his phone and turn off the flash to take a picture of some things for Ella. 

Throughout our decade of marriage, my anger at him never fully doused, but I eventually came to forgive him. In a way I think he saved me. In other ways, in the ways that matter, he hurt me. But Gabriel and Eleanor both have a normal childhood. Right here and right now, they’re all I care about. Maybe one day soon I’d be able to tell Liam everything. I could tell him how sorry I was, how I never forgot him.

“You know—” Theo taps my shoulder, “—if you don’t mind, I’m going to go take a look in the other room. Do you want to come with?” 

“Um,” I say, recovering from my thoughts. “I’ll be fine. Do you wanna met in the gift shop?”

“Sure, that’s fine.” He walks away. 

I look around aimlessly for about another ten minutes, staring at details of paintings from past centuries. I wonder at what the painters went through and what their lives were. I remember Hana telling me in the ruins that it didn’t matter what people in the future thought about you. I feel empty without her. I wished she was here to give me her insight. 

I wished that Drake was here to give gloomy comments. If Maxwell were here, we all probably would have gotten kicked out. Liam would tell us the historical significance of each piece.

I miss them so much that I feel empty. 

I thought that I would forget about them after so long. But none of us got closure. Maybe if we had all said goodbye properly, everything would have been easier. 

I begin to walk out of the gallery, trying to remember where the gift shop was, when something strange happens. A museum guard runs across the gallery, carrying something in his arms. 

And then another guard flew across the room, screaming. 

Heads go up, and everyone looks around at each other quizzically. In the next instant, there’s a warm burst of air and smoke. The painting in front of me, The Dance Class, is caked with ash. A second later, there’s a black flash, and I hear debris flying around me. Hot wind slams into me, throwing me against stone. 

I remember thinking that I have to pick up... someone. From somewhere. I have to get on a plane to tell someone something. But I can’t see anything. Everything is black.

[lumosinlove]

Sweater Weather

(A/N: Thanks for being patient guys!)

part vii

“Can I have everyone’s attention for a second?”

The entire room looked at James who was sweaty post-practice like the rest of them and making his way to the center of the locker room with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“What the fuck, what did you do?” Kasey said, beginning to look around himself warily, as if something was going to spring out at him and it was all James’ fault.

It wouldn’t be the first time.

“Cap, what did you and Pots do this time?” Logan asked.

Sirius, however, shrugged. “I don’t know anything. Honest.”

Even Sirius laughed about how dishonest that sounded.

“I swear on my goal streak,” Sirius said, and Logan raised his eyebrows.

“Heavy stuff,” Logan said.

“Excuse me, hello, hi,” James waved his hands. “This isn’t a prank,” he heaved a breath. “Although it might sound like one…I have an announcement.”

Remus had been very carefully avoiding looking at Sirius all day, but he did now. He wanted to see his face. Right then, he had stopped fiddling with the laces on his skate and looked up, brows lowered. No doubt he was wondering what James could possibly have to say that he didn’t already know.

“Well?” Kasey said. “We’re all looking at you, Pots.”

“Right.” James was staring at Sirius and nervously cracking his knuckles one by one.

Remus couldn’t help but smile a little bit. Even if James was telling the entire team, this message was for Sirius.

“Yep, okay,” James cleared his throat and spread his hands. “Lily is pregnant.”

There was a beat of silence in the room. Someone made a high noise, someone else laughed, and someone else gasped. Remus couldn’t stop watching Sirius’ face.

It remained completely still for a few moments, like his brain hadn’t quite caught up to what he’d heard. Then his eyebrows raised. Then a smile, slowly, spread across his face and he stood, dumbstruck.

“Holy shit,” Sirius said, then laughed, breaking the silence. “Holy shit.”

Then he was striding forward and gathering James in a tight hug—James who definitely looked like he was going to cry a little bit.

Sirius snapped the rest of the room out of it and they practically hollered. The team swarmed them, yelling about champagne and congratulations and a baby Potter.

“Let’s hope he or she doesn’t get your hair, eh?” Pascal grinned, looping an arm around James’ shoulders. “Félicitations, mon ami.”

James laughed, a little wetly. “Thanks, Dumo. Any advice?”

Dumo smiled. “Try not to spoil them. It’s impossible.”

Kaner nodded solemnly from James’ other side. “It’s true. When Justin was born I thought it was bad, but wait until you have two. They’re the cutest fucking things I’ve ever seen and I can’t say no.”

Kasey snorted. “Spoil them as much as you’d like, I’m still going to be their favorite uncle.”

“Please,” Logan scoffed. “we all know Sirius is going to be the favorite uncle.”

Sirius laughed, arms crossed over his chest and looking at James fondly. “I think any one of us will be guilty of being wrapped around the kid’s finger.”

“How far along is she?” Leo asked.

“Almost five months. We’ll be able to tell the gender when Lily goes to the doctor’s next.”

“You kept this a secret from everyone for five months?” Kasey said. “James!”

“Well, it was Lily’s call! And…” James smiled, “not everyone.”

Sirius spluttered a little. “Who knew?”

Remus felt his neck heat a little even before all the eyes in the room followed James’ to him.

“Loops?” Kasey laughed, “Lupin! You traitor!”

“Remus knew?” Sirius said faintly, and then Remus couldn’t help but look at him.

Since this morning, he had been practically religious about sticking to his work, about keeping to himself. Last night, when he had finally gotten home after the party, he had laid in bed mulling over what Sirius had said—what he had said.

It’d be worth it.

Too hard.

And Sirius—Sirius wanted him. He’d wanted him for a long time. Remus couldn’t look at Sirius, not knowing that. Not knowing that every time he’d looked at Sirius, Sirius had been looking back. Sirius wanted him.

Remus had imagined that confession a million times over, but never once had it been like that. He’d never thought that it would hurt.

The worst part was, he wasn’t even mad at Sirius. Maybe he should be. If anything, Sirius had led him on, at least a little. But Remus understood. He understood that Sirius was lost, and all he could do now was hope he’d given Sirius enough information to help him figure out what he wanted to do. Remus wanted to help, but he had to protect himself, too.

He wouldn’t be strung along. He wouldn’t be an experiment. He wouldn’t be an embarrassed late night call.

Sirius knew how he felt. Now, he just had to figure out how he himself felt.

And Remus would wait, but not for the wrong reasons, and not forever.

They had a day off tomorrow and it couldn’t have been timed more perfectly. It wasn’t often that Remus wanted to get away from hockey entirely but, right now, all he wanted to do was curl up on his couch and sleep, or catch up on the book he was reading. Hell, he wanted to watch endless hours of television. He was tired, bone tired. It turned out that mutual confessions of feelings that lead to nowhere was even more exhausting that dismissals.

He could still hear some of the guys celebrating and talking loudly about James and Lily from where he was in his the kitchen. He was making himself a warm tea for the road when there was a cough from behind him. He turned to look over his shoulder, then turned back around. He cleared his throat, too, and carefully lifted his tea bag out of his cup and into the garbage.

“Hi,” he said to Sirius, back turned.

“Hi,” Sirius said, and then he came to stand next to Remus at the counter. Remus could see him out of the corner of his eye. He was turned towards him completely.

“Please look at me,” Sirius said, voice dropped quiet. “You haven’t looked at me all day.”

Remus raised his eyebrows, staring down at his tea as he tried to muster the right response. He sighed, finally, and turned to face Sirius, too, leaning his hip against the counter and crossing his arms.

“I don’t exist to look at you, Sirius. If that’s what you’re missing, then you can move along and we can forget about our Halloween conversation entirely.”

Sirius’ eyes widened and he all but tripped over himself to speak.

“No,” He said, a little loudly, and he looked around and dropped his voice again to match Remus’. “Fuck, Remus, that’s not what I meant at all.” He leaned back a little. “That’s what you think of me? That I’m some jacked up jock looking for an ego boost?”

“You fucking held me all night long and then told me you’ve liked me for you don’t even know how long but were never planning on acting on it!”

Remus felt his expression morph into one of surprise. He hadn’t even really know he wanted to say that until he did. He didn’t even know he was this angry about it all. He hadn’t thought he was angry to begin with. Sirius’ expression matched his own.

Remus turned back to the counter, taking a long breath. “How do you want me to feel, Sirius? I can’t just be buddy-buddy with you until you decide whether you can risk wanting me or not.”

“It isn’t just about me,” Sirius began but Remus cut him off.

“I know that,” he snapped, then pressed his hands over his face, groaning. “Fuck, I don’t mean to yell at you about this.” He dropped his hands and looked at Sirius again. “I told you I understand and I do, I just—this is…God, Sirius, you’re standing right in front of me and I want you, too.”

Sirius made a soft noise and his hand curled around Remus’ wrist. “Re.”

Remus shook him off, swallowing hard and picking up his cup. “Go be with your best friend. He’s having a baby.”

~

The Lions crowd was littered with signs wishing Sirius a happy birthday. The rink guards had even let a few little kids and their signs come down to the glass for warmups and press them where Sirius could see them.

Remus was watching Sirius smile happily as he tossed pucks over the glass for them to catch. He knew he probably had a wistful expression on his face, and there was a sure weight in his chest when Pascal skated over to the bench, stopping hard and leaning his forearms on the boards.

“Hi, Dumo,” Remus said.

Pascal only looked at him, head tilted. Then, he spit out his mouth guard into his hand and nodded at Remus. “You should come over for dinner tomorrow night, Remus. Me and the family—and Logan, of course—are throwing Sirius a little dinner party, just us French Canadians, for old time sake.”

Remus raised his eyebrows. “I’m not French Canadian.”

“You basically are. Besides, I’m inviting you. Me, Logan, Sirius, Celeste, and the kids. Very casual. I know James is having him over tonight—the little shit took his actual birthday—but Sirius used to practically live at my house.”

Remus laughed a little. “You complain about billet housing, and yet you seem to have an awfully hard time letting your kids go.”

Pascal shoved his arm. “He is all alone in that great big house of his. It’s true, I’d shove him back in my basement with Logan if I could.” Pascal smiled, “But don’t tell him that.”

Remus looked back to Sirius, who seemed to be communicating with a very young fan through waves and taps on the glass.

“He’ll want you there,” Pascal sing-songed.

“I don’t know,” Remus sighed.

Pascal placed a glove on Remus’ shoulder, pulling his attention back to him. His eyes were serious, but soft.

“I do,” Pascal said, then shoved his mouthguard back in with a wink and skated away to start the game against the Hufflepuff Badgers.

~

That was how Remus found himself knocking on the Dumais’ door at 7:00 o’clock sharp the next evening.

The door swung open to reveal Pascal with Katie on his hip.

“Remus!” he grinned, “Right on time, as usual.”

Remus smiled, stepping inside and shaking some snow off of his collar. It was early, but his weather forecast had told him there was going to be a severe storm tonight. He hung up his coat and slid out of his shoes at Pascal’s direction.

“Hi, Dumo.” he smiled, waving at Katie. “I hope you guys have candles. Apparently there’s going to be a huge blizzard tonight.”

“Really?” Pascal said absentmindedly, already turning back towards the warm kitchen. “I hadn’t noticed.”

“Blizzard!” Katie said, clapping her hands, “Kasey!”

“Parfait, ma chou.” Dumo kissed her cheek exaggeratedly, making her laugh. “Exactement.”

They walked into the kitchen and Remus shivered as the warmth hit him.

“Remus,” Pascal’s wife, Celeste, greeted him with a kiss on each cheek and then pressed a glass of wine into his hand which Remus took happily. Celeste smiled, “We are so happy you could come.”

“I am, too, thank you so much for—”

“Remus?”

Remus turned around, lowering his wine from where he had been about to take a sip.

Sirius and Logan were standing there, at the top of the basement stairs. Sirius had stopped dead in the doorway and Logan was behind him, peaking beneath Sirius’ arm. Sirius’ eyes were wide.

His chest squeezed and he smiled. “Hi, Sirius. Tremzy.”

Logan waved, and when Sirius still didn’t move, he rolled his eyes and shoved him, making him stumble a bit into the kitchen.

“Welcome to French court, Fruit-loop,” Logan grinned, punching him lightly in the shoulder. He stepped around him and pressed a short kiss to Celeste’s cheek. “Where the food is the best. And there’s little monsters to chase.” Logan growled playfully at Marc and Katie, who shrieked and laughed, running away from him as he chased them around the kitchen island. Pascal’s two slightly older children, Adele and Louis, looked like they were trying very hard to look unimpressed and like they were trying not to smile at the same time. The kids and Logan’s socks were slipping on the floor, whatever was simmering on the stove smelled incredible, and Remus was filled with an unmistakable sense of home.

He smiled briefly at Sirius again, who was still staring like he’d never seen Remus before, and turned back to the room.

“I can see why you can’t get rid of Logan.” He nodded at Celeste. “Dinner does smell incredible.”

“Are you here for dinner?” Sirius had finally torn himself away from the stairs and had come to stand next to Celeste.

Celeste clucked her tongue, hitting Sirius’ lightly in the chest with her dishtowel. “Sirius. Où sont tes manières?”

“No, I…” Sirius closed his mouth, flush. “I just didn’t know you were coming.”

“Oh?” Remus looked over at Pascal, who was very busy with stirring a pot on the stove. “I thought…”

“I think dinner is ready,” Pascal clapped his hands and grinned. “Adele, set the table, Louis help your mother bring the food out.”

“Katie and Marc could do it for once,” Adele grumbled, but hopped off her stool dutifully.

Remus looked back to Sirius when there was a rustle of bringing everything to the table. He had poured himself a glass of wine of his own and fell into stride with Remus as the followed the others to the dining room.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I thought Pascal would have told you, that’s all.” Remus took a sip of his drink, carefully not looking at Sirius. “I was as surprised as you to be invited.”

“Remus.”

Remus stopped and turned at Sirius’ hand on his arm. He looked up at him and tried his best to keep his face passive. A crease appeared between Sirius eyebrows that Remus badly wanted to smooth out.

“I was surprised to see you,” Sirius said. “Not unhappy to see you.”

Remus swallowed. “Oh. Well, good.”

Remus ended up between Sirius and Katie at dinner, and sitting across from a very smiley Pascal who kept shooting him looks like he knew something Remus didn’t. Once or twice Remus tried to subtly ask him what the hell was up with his eyes, but Pascal always looked away with a soft laugh. The kids and Logan kept most of the conversation going, and Sirius laughed and played along, but Remus could feel it every time Sirius’ eyes fell his way. He was sure Sirius could feel the same whenever Remus looked at him.

There was a tug on his shirt from his left, and Remus looked down at Katie’s large blue eyes.

“Joues-tu au hockey?” she asked in her soft voice. “Like my papa?”

Remus smiled, but shook his head. “I wish. I’m not as cool as your papa.”

“Finally! The praise I deserve.” Pascal said, and Celeste rolled her eyes, but she was smiling.

“I used to, though,” Remus said to Katie.

“Did you?” Pascal tilted his head. “I didn’t know that.”

Remus shrugged. “It’s…you know. I miss it, so I don’t talk about it much.”

“Jesus f—fudge,” Logan sent an apologetic smile to Celeste, then looked back to Remus. “You’ve got to play with us, bud. How did we not know this?”

“He’s already promised,” Sirius said, raising his glass to his lips. “All we have to do is win a Cup.”

All three players knocked on the wood of the table at the same time. Remus rolled his eyes at the superstition.

As soon as they knocked, the lights flickered out, making Adele squeak and throwing the table into semi-darkness. The moonlight reflected off the snow falling heavily outside and the wind practically howled.

“Whoa,” Logan said.

“Oh, a storm!” Pascal said, sounding far too delighted. He threw his napkin down. “I’ll get the candles, you were right, Lupin, you were right.” On his way out, he bent to drop a kiss to Celeste’s head.

“Well. The weatherman was right, really.” Remus stuttered.

Celeste scooted her chair back. “Pascal will never know where the candles are, I’ll be right back.” She hesitated then nodded to herself. “Why don’t we all go to the living room. We’re all almost done anyway and it’ll be more comfortable there. I’ll light the stove and bring coffee, too, non? And dessert.”

The kids scrambled at the mention of desert in the dark, giggling and begging Logan for a piggy back ride as they filed out of the dining room. He ended up groaning and laughing under the weight of the two smallest clinging to his arms and neck.

“I didn’t realize it was going to storm like this,” Sirius said as he and Remus followed the others.

“Me neither,” Remus glanced out the windows as they passed them. “I was mostly joking when I asked Dumo about the candles.”

“Guess the x-box isn’t working, then.”

Remus couldn’t help but laugh a little. “No, I guess not.”

“What,” Sirius said, bumping their shoulders lightly. “You don’t like x-box?”

Remus stopped just in the door, out of view of the dimly lit living room. “You aren’t allowed to do that right now.”

For a moment, Remus was worried he was going to have to explain himself from the look on Sirius’ face, but then Sirius stepped back. “Sorry, I…I’m sorry.”

Remus sighed, “You keep saying that.”

“I know.”

“Boys, go sit down!” Celeste yelled from the dark kitchen, and they dutifully went.

“Can I drive you home tonight? And we can talk?” Sirius murmured as they sat on the couch. He kept his eyes on Remus even as Katie wiggled her way into his lap.

Remus opened his mouth, but then there was a flickering light from the corner of his eye. When he looked, Dumo was there holding a chocolate, beautifully homemade cake. Celeste clapped her hands and Katie started the rather off-key version of happy birthday, only made better by Adele’s pretty voice.

Sirius had to tear his eyes away from Remus then and a smile broke out over his face despite himself. It was Remus’ favorite smile, with dimples and completely unselfconscious. Gorgeous. He wondered if Sirius had ever been treated like this at his real home. The thought brought an ache to his chest.

“Guys,” Sirius said, rubbing a hand over his cheek, which Remus noticed was more stubbly than usual. “Merci…thanks.”

“Le gateau!” Katie said delightedly.

“Oui,” Sirius said in his lovely, drawn out way. “Will you help me blow out the candles?”

“What are you going to wish for?” Adele said from where she was leaning forward in her chair.

Remus smiled a little. She absolutely had a crush on Sirius. Don’t we all, Remus wanted to say.

“Well, I can’t tell you.” Sirius hesitated. “It won’t come true. And…I think I need this one to come true.”

Sirius glanced at Remus again, then blew out the cake with Katie.

They were eating and drinking coffee when everyone’s phones started lighting up with severe storm warnings.

“Oh, would you look at that,” Pascal said, holding his phone close to his face. “Dangerous roads.”

Celeste hummed thoughtfully and went to the window. “Oh,” she said, pushing the curtain further aside. “God, we can barely see. I didn’t know it was going to be this bad.” She turned back to them. “Well…I don’t know if I want you boys driving in the dark like this. Especially after all the wine, the food…”

Remus looked down at his wine glass. He had been drinking freely because he had thought he was going to take a cab back. He wasn’t sure the cab services would be running now.

“You both should stay here,” Celeste said, coming back to the table and picking up her cake again. “Just to be safe. The snow plows will come in the morning. The worst that could happen is practice being delayed a little. We have a guest room, if you don’t mind sharing.”

Remus felt Sirius look at him, and was a little grateful. Sirius was giving him the opportunity to turn it down. But the roads looked bad. He would never forgive himself if he made Sirius drive in this weather and he got hurt somehow.

“That would be wonderful.” Remus sent Celeste a small smile. “And I don’t mind if Sirius doesn’t.”

“No,” Sirius said quickly, then cleared his throat. “I mean no, I don’t mind. At all. It’s fine.”

“Are we having a sleepover?” Katie said, relaxing back into Sirius’ chest and tapping his wrist for a bite of his cake.

“Cap and Loops are having a sleepover, mon cher,” Logan said, then stretched out his foot to nudge her feet until she laughed. “You and me can have a sleepover, how’s that?” He looked at Remus and raised a shoulder, “I’m just saying because she really will climb into your bed if you say yes.”

“Tremzy.” Katie sighed happily.

Celeste laughed, “She really will. I speak from experience. Anyway, finish you cake and coffee and I’ll make up the bed for you.”

“We can do that,” Remus took a bite of cake.

“Speak for yourself, Fruit-loop,” Pascal laughed. “I’ve never met a hockey player below 25 who can make up a bed for himself.”

“I can make a bed!” Sirius protested.

“We’ll see, won’t we?” Pascal raised his eyebrows and took a large, final bite of cake, grinning through it obnoxiously and making his kids laugh.

Celeste rolled her eyes fondly. “Stop teasing the boy, Pascal.” She waved towards there food. “Eat up, or I’ll have children begging for left over cake for the next week.”

Remus didn’t know how the Dumais’ had so many extra toothbrushes laying around, but he was glad for them and for Logan throwing extra t-shirts at them both to sleep in.

“You’ll have to suffer through two day underwear,” he had laughed. “As if you’ve never done that before.”

It was busy with the warm sounds of the kids getting ready for bed and yelling for Celeste, needing this or that. Remus felt relaxed by the lull of it, the presence of so many others in the house. He wondered if Sirius felt the same, if he also felt like he had too much room to know what to do with at home.

He was relaxed until Sirius closed the door behind them after wishing the family goodnight (Pascal giving them both exaggerated and smacking kisses to the cheeks) and they were alone and quiet.

Remus rubbed his hands nervously on his jeans before deciding to go over and pick up the shirt Logan had lent him. It was too big but it would be comfortable to sleep in. It had Logan’s name and number on the back and the Lions’ logo on the front. Remus looked at the Tremblay that spread between the shoulders and suddenly pictured a different name there. A different number. Black. 12.

“Ah, do you want the bathroom first?” Sirius’ voice cut into his thoughts and Remus turned abruptly.

“Oh.” He held the shirt against his chest, as if Sirius could see the evidence of his thoughts on it. “No. Go ahead.”

Sirius nodded and retreated to brush his teeth. Remus expected him to close the door but instead, he came wandering back out a second later, toothbrush in his mouth. He held it between his teeth by the bed, and Remus watched with raised eyebrows as he struggled to take his shirt off around it. When he succeeded and pulled a plain gray t-shirt over his head with minimal dripping from the toothpaste, he noticed Remus’ gaze.

“Quoi?” Sirius asked.

Remus kept his eyes firmly towards Sirius’ face and shook his head. “Nothing. Just—a funny order of operations you’ve got going there.”

Sirius looked down at his shirt, then at Remus, and shrugged, going back to brushing.

Remus tugged off his own shirt to change.

Sirius made a noise that was sort of a high pitched hum and Remus looked at him again.

“What?” he asked.

Whatever Sirius responded with was garbled by toothpaste and he disappeared into the bathroom. The back of his neck looked a little pink.

Remus let out a breath. He wasn’t going to survive the night. He figured he could brush his teeth, too, if Sirius wasn’t closing the door, and he picked up Logan’s shirt and tugged it over his head as he walked. He blinked against the bright light of the bathroom and stopped at the left sink. Sirius was running water over his face, and when he reached for the washcloth, he missed by a few inches. Remus pressed it into his hand and Sirius blinked water out of his eyes.

“Thanks,” Sirius said.

Remus nodded, putting toothpaste on his toothbrush. “Yeah.”

Sirius straightened. “Logan gave you that shirt?”

Remus looked at him in the mirror. Sirius question sounded like he was almost appalled by the notion. It made something in Remus’ chest squeeze.

“Yeah. He probably just picked two up from his floor.” Remus leant down and spit, running the water. “I’d guess we’re wearing week old laundry right now.” Then, he couldn’t help adding, “why?”

He watched in the mirror as Sirius’ eyes ran over his back, over Logan’s name and number. Sirius’ nostrils flared a little as he took a large breath.

“I don’t know,” Sirius finally said, then turned and went back into the bedroom.

Sirius was already in bed—on the right side—when Remus came. Sirius had drawn the covers back and was on his phone, one knee bent and raised out of the sheets. Remus collapsed on the left and doodled around on his own phone for a while. It was…nice. Sitting beside someone. Even if they were completely quiet, Remus liked the company, the weight in the bed. It felt like something he wouldn’t mind getting used to.

The wind howled outside, and they both jumped when they heard what sounded like tree branches brush against the window.

“Jesus,” Remus said. “Wonder what the world’s going to look like tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Sirius clicked his phone off. Remus was going to remind him to silence it before they slept. “That sounds pretty rough. Mind if I…?”

When he trailed off, Remus looked to see his hand hovering by the light.

“Oh, yeah. Go ahead.” Remus turned his phone off, too. He was doing fine on battery, but he would need to borrow a charger over breakfast. The light flicked off and they were left with the wind and the dark. They’d closed the shades and Remus could barely see his own hands.

Remus listened to Sirius breathing for a moment, wondering if he was just going to fall asleep. That would be fine, probably better, really, but a small part of Remus had hoped that, maybe—

“James asked me to be the godfather,” Sirius said suddenly into the dark.

Remus couldn’t help but turn to look at him, even if they couldn’t see each other. “Sirius. That’s amazing.”

Sirius made a soft noise of acknowledgement, then fell silent for a few moments again. Remus let him think.

“How does he know?” Sirius whispered.

“Know what?”

Sirius let out a breath. “Nothing. Sorry, nothing, I just had to tell someone. I’ve been—God, I’ve just been thinking about it since he asked and…I’m so happy, I am, I just…”

“It’s a daunting thought for anyone,” Remus said softly.

“Right. Yeah. It is.”

“I,” Remus swallowed. “I get why it would be, especially so for you. But being scared by it doesn’t mean you’re the wrong choice. It means you’re the right choice.”

Sirius laughed softly. “You always know what to say to me, don’t you?”

Remus let out a laugh of his own. “No. No, I really don’t.”

They fell into silence again, staring up into the dark. Remus tried to close his eyes, but all that turned into was listening to Sirius’ breathing and remembering that morning when he had woken up in Sirius’ arms. Sirius’ hand in his hair and his breath against his neck. Now that he knew that, even then, Sirius had wanted him, it made it all hurt even more.

“Were you pretending to be asleep?” Remus asked quietly.

“Now?”

“No,” Remus sunk back against his pillow. “The day you slept in my hotel room. After we lost to the Rangers. We woke up and we were—together.”

“Oh,” Sirius said. Remus heard him take a breath. “Well. I…I didn’t think I’d get the chance again. I’m sorry if that’s weird.”

Remus closed his eyes. “No. I just…I don’t know, I shouldn’t have asked.” Remus kept his eyes closed, took a breath, and said, “I was pretending, too.”

Sirius groaned a little, “Remus.”

There was a rustling as Sirius turned on his side. Remus turned towards him and he could just make out Sirius’ features as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. Sirius was shadows and silver outlines, fuzzy with the quiet in the room.

Remus mirrored Sirius’ position. Their hands were tucked between them and Remus inched his head closer to Sirius’ on his pillow.

“This is probably the last thing you want to be doing right now,” Sirius breathed. “I’m sorry.”

Remus shook his head. “It’s more like the last thing I should be doing. But it couldn’t be closer to what I want.” Remus paused at Sirius’ sharp intake of breath. “I already told you that.”

Sirius’ eyes moved down to their hands and they rested on Remus’ open palm, soft on the mattress between them.

“I wished for something when Dumo brought the cake out,” Sirius looked back at Remus. “I’ve wished for the same thing almost every year of my life, but this year it was different.”

Remus could feel his heart in his fingertips. “Oh?”

“I used to wish that—that I could be different. Or maybe that I would stop being different, I guess.”

Remus raised his head off of his pillow a little, heart pulling. “Sirius…”

Sirius shook his head and pressed his cheek farther into his pillow. “I wished every chance that I had that I could just stop—wanting. Stop wanting what everyone around me was implying that I couldn’t have. Stop wanting what I knew I couldn’t want.”

Remus let out a breath. It made sense now. How cold Sirius had been in the beginning. He’d been beaten down. He’d beaten himself down, and he’d been beating himself down for his entire life.

“I didn’t wish for that tonight,” Sirius whispered. When he looked at Remus again, his eyes were shining in the dimness. He reached forward and pressed his palm over Remus’, slowly sliding their fingers together. “Remus, I didn’t wish for that tonight. I couldn’t. I was wrong.”

Remus squeezed his hand, pulling it against his chest. He couldn’t help it. He needed Sirius to know he was there. He hoped Sirius could feel how hard his heart was beating in his chest.

“Wrong?” Remus asked.

Sirius blinked, eyes steady. He looked crumbled but beautiful, like a ruined cathedral that was now open to the sky. “I don’t want it to stop. I know the risks but—God, Remus, when I look at you how could I wish for anything else?”

“Sirius,” Remus breathed. “God, Sirius—”

Sirius pushed himself up then, just enough to bend over Remus in the dark, their hands still locked between them, resting on Remus’ chest. Remus wound his fingers in Sirius’ hair and pulled him down, their noses brushing.

Sirius groaned. “Please don’t let me trap you. Please, Remus, you have to be sure. I can’t—I can’t offer you anything except behind closed doors. Not right now, at least. Not yet.”

“I know,” Remus hushed, fingers stroking the nape of his neck. “I told you, I already told you, and you have to listen to me, okay? Listen.” Remus released Sirius’ hand and cupped his jaw, thumb stroking over his bottom lip, and then his temple, his cheek. “You are worth it, Sirius. You’re kind and good, and I want to be with you even if it’s only when we’re alone. I’ll know. For the entire day when we can’t do anything more than glance and smile at each other, I’ll know what each look means.”

Sirius dropped their foreheads together, his lips pressing just beside Remus’ mouth with a soft sound. Remus closed his eyes, entire body feeling coiled with tension, waiting. Wanting.

“I don’t know how many times you’ve heard that you aren’t good enough,” Remus whispered against Sirius’ skin. “But I’m going to make you forget each one.”

Sirius shuttered. Remus felt it as Sirius let his chest rest against his, pressing them together.

“Re,” Sirius had barely breathed out, and then Remus pulled their mouths together and kissed him.

Sirius groaned into it and Remus heard himself do the same as Sirius’ fingers found his hip and cheek, keeping him steady while Sirius angled his head to deepen the kiss, running his tongue along Remus’ lip. Remus pressed up and against him, hands smoothing from his neck to his waist, rather shameless about feeling each rise and fall of his body along the way. Each stroke seemed to make Sirius kiss him harder, more frantically, like he was making up for lost time.

“Fuck,” Sirius murmured as he kissed down Remus’ jaw, pausing at the place where it met his neck. Sirius slotted his thigh between Remus’ and Remus gasped. Sirius was a hard, hot line against his hip and he was relentless in the presser he was applying in warm rolls against Remus’ quickly filling dick.

Remus let out a sigh at the feeling, pressing his arms to Sirius’ upper back and feeling the muscles move beneath his skin as Sirius worked himself against Remus’ body.

“Oh God,” Remus panted. “Oh God, we can’t have sex in Dumo’s guest room.”

“We can if we’re quiet.” Sirius kissed Remus again. “Je vais garder ta bouche occupée.”

Remus groaned. “I can’t fucking translate French right now.”

Sirius laughed softly. “I can keep your mouth busy.” Then he kept kissing him, slow and dirty. Remus couldn’t help but mirror his smile and tucked his fingers back into Sirius’ dark hair. He pushed up into Sirius’ mouth, then broke to kiss across his cheek slowly, savoring the scratch of his stubble against his lips.

Sirius hummed happily and settled back down against Remus’ chest, nose against Remus’ neck. He was too tall for their current position, and Remus lifted his head a little to see his bare feet dangling a little off of the end of the bed. He laughed, but simply wrapped his arms around Sirius’ broader shoulders and pressed his nose into the hair that curled out above Sirius’ ear.

“You’re not a lion, your a cub, an oversized cub. Somehow I always knew.”

Sirius mumbled something and smacked Remus’ hip lightly before pressing a kiss to his neck.

“Okay,” Sirius said with another kiss, then pushed himself up onto his forearms. He looked down at Remus.

Remus tilted his head, fingers still threading gently through Sirius’ hair. “Okay?”

A small, disbelieving smile appeared on Sirius’ face and he leaned down for a much softer, shorter kiss. “We can’t have sex in Dumo’s guest room. You’re right. But I can hold you without pretending to be asleep now, oui?”

Remus nodded. He thought there might be nothing left in his chest but his heart now.

“Oui,” he replied softly.

Sirius rolled away, pulling Remus with him until he was tucked beneath Sirius’ chin, ankles hooked around each other.

Remus wouldn’t have thought he’d be able to sleep, but when he closed his eyes, and with Sirius’ heart beneath his ear, he found that he’d never felt more calm.

“Je suis content,” Sirius whispered with a kiss to Remus’ forehead.

Remus smiled, and tilting his chin up for a kiss felt like the most natural and practiced thing in the world.

“I’m happy, too.”

[athingthatwantsvirginia]

A Patti Smith Envelope

PART THIRTY-FOUR OF THE DO YOU SEE HER FACE? SERIES

Pairing: Jess Mariano x Original Character (Ella Stevens)

Warnings: anxiety about future, plentiful pop culture references

Word Count: 4.1K

Summary: Ella and Jess move into their new apartment.

A newspaper ad circled in red ink had led them to the cozy one-bedroom four blocks over from Truncheon and six blocks from campus. It was only late April, earlier than Ella was expecting for them to find something. But she had finished finals, had booked gigs working at the art camps at the college over the summer. She had a few weeks off to make art, and hopefully help out in Truncheon. After touring the place, it felt right. An excited tightness in her stomach. Jess, too, had squeezed her hand in elation as soon as they walked through the door. The place had built-in bookshelves on the far wall, the bedroom on the other side. Ella didn’t believe in signs, but even she could agree it was as close to perfect as they were going to get.

Luke had offered to help without even being asked. Chris, Matthew, Leo, and Mabel were all participants to different degrees of willingness, and they hardly needed any more bodies. But Luke insisted the minute Jess had told him the moving date over the phone. It was likely he needed some sort of distraction since April had moved to New Mexico anyway. She wasn’t going to be back until the summer. And it seemed neither Luke nor Lorelai had come to their senses about each other yet.

He rolled up to Philadelphia in his truck two hours before they expected him. He claimed moving wasn’t moving if there wasn’t a truck to help out. Packing up all the stuff in the apartment was easier than Ella expected, just as it had been when she moved out of her childhood home. Jess could be cluttered sometimes, but nowhere near the level of Chris, and most of Jess’s belongings consisted of old band t-shirts and marked up books anyway. Ella, likewise, had most of her records stuffed in the back of her car. The dresser fit in Chris’s SUV after a fair amount of squeezing stuff in. The bed was the real challenge. It turned out Luke’s truck wasn’t such a frivolous vehicle, after all.

A drizzle was just beginning to fall from the gray, cloudy sky as they finished moving all the boxes inside. The apartment, on the second floor of some ancient building, was not exactly up to twenty-first century standards. The pipes were old and cobwebs gathered in the corners. A splinter or two jutted out from the worn down wood floors, golden brown under the dim lights. But the bohemian rug and many lamps they’d scouted out from the thrift shop a week earlier were already proving helpful. Boxes, labeled with mostly Jess’s scrawled, cramped handwriting, were stacked high in the corner of the living room, others gathered on the cracked tile of the kitchen counter.

Ella blew the stray hairs away from her eyes, otherwise pulled back in her black bandana. Her bangs were growing longer, and she was just becoming able to fully tuck them behind her ears. Roses of flushed color bloomed on her cheeks, her skin hot and sticky. Chris had already sprawled out on the dark gray couch, Leo on the arm. The couch, too, was secondhand, bought for ten bucks at the ReStore off the interstate.

“You really should be paying us,” Chris huffed, throwing his arm across his eyes.

Ella scoffed from where she was helping Matthew and Mabel unpack the kitchen. There was actually not much to be done, as Jess and Ella were planning on getting most of their supplies in the following days. There were a few mugs, bowls, spoons. “Consider it payback for the amount of times I’ve made you pie.”

“I was under the impression those were ‘no strings attached’ pies,” Matthew chimed in.

“Or, at most, ‘friends with benefits’ pies,” Mabel added.

Ella rolled her eyes. “Fine. I’m taking advantage of all of you. I’m eternally in your debt. But I think we got everything, if you guys wanna get outta here.”

The four of them exchanged glances, eventually coming to a consensus they were exhausted enough to leave and retire to the cold pizza in the fridge at Truncheon. Ella suspected they were excited to have their own rooms for the first night in forever, as Chris had already made work of moving his stuff into Jess and Ella’s old room, before they had even finished moving out. She gave them sweaty hugs and salutes goodbye, finishing with unloading the meager contents of the new fridge.

“Hey, Jess, we’re outta here!” Leo called.

Jess’s head appeared from the doorway to the bedroom. “Good. Better to save yourselves now before World War III breaks out in here.”

From beyond the bedroom door, Luke could be heard grumbling obscenities and fighting with the new bed frame he was struggling to put together.

“See you on the other side, then,” Matthew said, smiling. “Also known as Monday.”

“We’ll see if I make it until then,” Jess shrugged, offering them a small wave. “Thanks, guys.”

“You are not welcome,” Chris grunted, trudging out the door.

Mabel gave Ella one last hug before exiting the apartment, shutting the door softly behind her. A grin broke out on Ella’s face. She and Mabel had gone on more than one lunch together, had even gone shopping once. It was new and Ella was still a bit worried the timid woman would be scared away from a friendship with her, but they were slowly getting to know each other.

As Jess continued grappling with Luke, who went on grappling with the bed frame, Ella finished with their groceries. The kitchenware was more or less unpacked to a decent level. The books were next on her list, followed by the records. Rounding the corner of the counter into the living room, she stopped short of the book boxes.

She put her hands to the hips of her jeans. There were a few water spots on the popcorn ceiling, reminding her of Truncheon. The air smelled cozy, but more of lemon Pledge than anything else. Someone had dusted the built-in bookshelves in the initial flurry of unpacking. During the walk-through of the place, Jess had pointed out the corner next to the couch as the perfect spot for an easel. Looking over it, with familiar furniture moved in, the place seemed more real. Less like a dream for the two of them. The terrace past the small sliding glass door was empty, but she thought maybe they could fit a few chairs. It wasn’t as though the view was spectacular, just a vision of the city street below and the other apartment building opposite. But it was more than enough for two people who had both lived out of their cars for extended periods of time.

An odd sense came over her, one of total novelty. Never before had she had a real say in her home. Her parents lived in the blue house in Stars Hollow before she was born, Lane had moved into her house with Zach and Bryan long before Ella started sleeping on the couch, the apartment above Truncheon had been a simple convenience to everyone involved. But she and Jess had chosen the apartment together. They had admired the cheap price, the proximity to work, the odd seashell tiles in the bathroom. The place seemed to have been built before the contemporary requirements of architectural uniformity. It had a mind of its own inside: a leaky sink and a brick exterior and shag carpet in the bedroom. Not altogether a surprise, considering it was in the artsy housing district near the campus.

“Dammit!” she heard once more from the bedroom.

Heaving a tired but cheerful sigh, she crossed her arms over her Clash t-shirt (borrowed from Jess) and entered the bedroom, to the left of the living room and kitchen, opposite from the tiny bathroom. Luke and Jess were both hunched over the metal frame, trying to hold both the headboard and the footboard up and attach the middle section. Their faces were angry and red, frustration radiating off of them.

“Hey, so, it’s past seven,” she announced, eyebrows raised at their trouble.

Jess jumped slightly, his back to her, at the sound of his voice. The footboard slipped out of his grip.

“Oh, for the love of-” Luke began.

“It’s fine,” Ella interjected calmly, going over and placing a hand on Jess’s upper back. He panted but said nothing as his uncle continued fussing.

“Where did you even get this? There’s no damn instructions!” Luke said, readjusting the hat on his head.

“The discount store,” Jess answered, glaring down at the frame and over at the mattress, which stood leaning against the wall near the dresser. “Not all of us have diner money to fall back on.”

“Anyway,” Ella continued, “I bet we could all use some food. Jess, maybe you could drive Luke down to that place on Birch and get some sandwiches? I can finish with the bed.”

Luke shook his head. “Ella, I don’t think-”

“She probably can,” Jess interrupted dejectedly. “I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s those sculpture classes. But she can fix anything. Not just showerheads and cash registers.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Luke said, raising his hands in surrender and leaving the room. He went to grab his coat from the messy pile by the front door.

Ella stifled a laugh. “My god, he’ll never change.”

“Why is he coming with me to get the food?” Jess asked under his breath.

“Because I think he’ll have a stroke if he doesn’t stop with this bed. And he doesn’t know where the place on Birch is. You do,” she explained, giving him a peck on the cheek before going to try her hand at the bed.

Shoulders sagging with fatigue, Jess gave a begrudging nod, then glanced back over his shoulder. “Fine. Hopefully he’ll be less Vesuvius and more Mauna Loa by the time we get back.”

“Not everyday you hear a good volcano metaphor,” she quipped, assessing the middle section of the bedframe and deciding to take it apart altogether.

“I know. Imagine how dull your life would be without me,” Jess shot back, a small smirk tugging at his lips despite his frazzled state. “Turkey?”

She nodded. “You know me too well, James Dean.”

“Agreed,” he said with a teasing laugh.

“Fuck off,” she replied through a chuckle.

Jess’s smirk grew as he turned on his heel to leave. “Love you back, Stevens.”

.   .   .

The windshield wipers of Jess’s rust bucket screeched against the glass as he rolled down Birch Street, away from the sandwich shop. A white paper bag full of subs sat in the passenger seat atop Luke’s lap. In one hand, Luke held a bouquet of deep red tulips. Jess hadn’t remembered the florist shop where Ella had worked the previous summer was right down the road from the sandwich place. He’d stopped in for the bunch of blooms as they waited for their order to be filled. The plastic wrapper around the bouquet crinkled in Luke’s fist as he braced himself, Jess rounding a damp corner.

“I told you we should’ve taken my truck,” Luke grumbled.

Sighing, Jess fought to keep his jaw untensed. “My car’s fine. It’s driven us across the country more than once.”

“Before or after it broke down on the highway and Coop had to have it towed back to Stars Hollow?” Luke asked, his voice tired and strained.

“Not sure. I know for a fact it was after you stole my car, though,” Jess retorted, eyes on the slick roads. He wished the radio was on, but the memories of Luke whining about his album choices were still too recent in his mind.

Heaving a large sigh, Luke gave a shake of his head. “Fine. I give up.”

“Thank you,” Jess muttered.

“You’re welcome,” Luke shot back irritably.

But then he looked over at Jess. His hair was no longer greased, his clothes fit better, his eyes were clearer. Most of the time, his brow was no longer drawn in anger or his face a scowl. Even his posture was different; straighter, brighter, more self-assured. And then he thought of Ella. She looked much the same as she had during her last few weeks at work, with her wide smile and loud laugh. The smiles were more frequent, though, and she seemed so relaxed around her friends. Even around Rory she had sometimes seemed a bit nervous to Luke, as though she were worried over a misstep.

Luke couldn’t contain the small grin on his grizzled face. “I’m really proud of you, Jess.”

Snorting a laugh, Jess spared Luke a quick glance before turning back to the road. They were only a few minutes away from the new home, but Philly traffic was never reliable, even on a Saturday. “Let’s put away the pom-poms for now.”

“I’m just sayin,’” Luke began with a shrug, “got your own company, your own apartment with Ella. You really seem to be doin’ great.”

Jess gave a short, humble nod, but took a long pause before he spoke another word. “Lorelai proposed to you, right?”

Luke’s brow crinkled. “Yeah?”

“But you proposed to Nicole?”

“Yeah.”

Humming under his breath, Jess gave another nod. Red brake lights glowed in the rainy evening darkness. “When did you know...how you wanted to propose?”

“Jess, are you gonna propose to Ella?” Luke asked, eyes going wide and smile growing.

“Never said that,” Jess answered nonchalantly, shaking his head. “Just never really delved into that part of your personal history. Figured I’d ask. Maybe I wanna get to know you better, uncle dearest.”

Rolling his eyes at Jess’s old patterns of behavior, Luke didn’t let his smile waver. He looked down at the bouquet in his hand. “Well, considering it was an impulse cruise ship marriage, not a lot of thought went into it. It just sort of happened. If you’re asking me how to propose to Ella-”

“Which I’m not.”

“-then I’d say she loves you and she’ll say ‘yes’ no matter what. And I’d say that you know her better than anyone in the world, and you shouldn’t...second-guess yourself. Do what feels right.”

“And did an Elvis impersonator marry you two on that cruise?” Jess continued.

Luke bit back another sigh. “No, wiseass. It was a regular minister.”

“Huh,” Jess chirped wryly. “You learn something new everyday.”

.   .   .

Patti Smith spun on the record player as the rain grew stronger outside. Though it was a pain in the ass to unpack the record player, Ella decided it just wouldn’t truly be home without the grace of music on the first night. Luke had left about an hour earlier, though they insisted he could stay over. He said he was nervous enough leaving Lane and Caesar in charge of the diner for one day, and he didn’t want to be late for the morning shift the next day. It made Ella roll her eyes, but eventually she gave up trying to convince him. It wasn’t as though she expected Luke to change his ways. The tulips sat in a mug of water on the kitchen counter, to be placed in something fancier and on something fancier once they actually had a makeshift dining area. For the moment, only the big pieces from the old place and the bed were filling up the small apartment. Ella had to bite her lip to keep from laughing at Luke’s face when he saw she had put the bed together all by herself, finished before they got back with the sandwiches. An expression of extreme frustration had slowly melted into pride. Both were memorable.

Between Jess and Ella, who sat cross-legged on the floor on either side of the coffee table in the living room, was a half-eaten pie. One of the few leftovers from Truncheon they had lugged over to put in the fridge before an actual grocery run. The apple crust was a bit soggy, but the filling was surprisingly good cold. She found herself so wholly content as they sat together: eating pie, listening to records, in the dim lamplight of the first place which was solely theirs. It all struck her with a force she wasn’t expecting. She chuckled to herself as she grabbed another forkful, eating away at the half they had not even bothered to cut but just dug into instead.

“What?” Jess asked through a sweet mouthful, furrowing his brows at her.

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Doesn’t this all seem a little...surreal to you?”

“Does what seem surreal?”

“Just...we have an apartment together. And you own a business. And I only have a year left of grad school. I just...sometimes I can’t believe it’s happening. I can’t believe it turned out the way it did. You don’t feel that?” she asked, lowering her eyes sheepishly.

He cracked a small, crooked smirk. “I don’t know. I always just sort of thought I’d end up where I’d end up. And here I am. With you. Not a bad place to be.”

She rolled her eyes, a blush coloring her cheeks. “I know about your Kerouac philosophy. But just...when you first met me, did you ever think in a million years this is where we’d be now?”

“I didn’t know exactly where we’d be. But, I knew I’d land somewhere. I didn’t know if I’d land with you, but I wanted to. Maybe it’s a little surreal, but it doesn’t surprise me,” he explained, leaning his elbows onto the scratched wooden surface of the table with arms crossed.

Snorting a laugh at his insouciance, Ella finally locked eyes with him again. “It just feels a little too good to be true, I guess. I mean, you go to school your whole life, you work towards something your whole life. Once it happens, once you’re near the end...I just never thought it would actually happen. I don’t know what’s next.”

She tugged at her earring with her right hand. Jess noticed the chipped blue polish on her nails, though they weren’t bitten down. He couldn’t quite decipher her mood. Not that she seemed sad or distant, but he could tell she was having a hard time articulating herself. And he could tell she was letting an old worry creep up on her; she was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

He allowed his smirk to grow into a full smile and dropped his fork into the pie tin. “C’mon, you’re gonna figure it out. You know you are. I’m the directionless one. You’ve always been able to do anything. You’re plan girl.”

Ella gave a mirthful scoff. “You’re not directionless, Jess. And I’m not plan girl. Rory was always plan girl. I was try-to-make-it-to-the-finish-line-without-tripping girl.”

Jess hummed thoughtfully, about to reply. But she spoke again before he had a chance to.

“I thought you had a thing for her, y’know,” she said, taking another bite of pie.

“Who?”

“Rory.”

“Really?” Jess asked, and he couldn’t hide the bewildered amusement in his tone. “When was this?”

She shrugged and narrowed her eyes for a moment in memory. “Just when you first got to Stars Hollow. I mean, you hated Dean, and you like a lot of the same things, and you seemed to get along with her.”

“No. It was pretty much always just you,” Jess said, shaking his head slightly. “Maybe we liked a lot of the same stuff, but...I didn’t ever feel like she...got me like you do.”

“Oh, she didn’t, Kurt Cobain?” she teased, raising her eyebrows. She put her fork down in the tin next to his, her stomach full. Her eyes were beginning to get tired, her body starting to ache from the day of moving. She was glad the bed was put together.

He raised his hands in joking defense. “Hey, I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s true. Remember that night she was tutoring me?”

“The night you crashed her car? Yeah, it rings a bell,” she replied.

“Yes, that one,” Jess continued, smiling sardonically at her. “We were talking about the future. And she kept getting on me about how I had to do better and I had to go to college, just like she did, or else I would have no life.”

The smile which tugged at Ella’s lips was slightly bitter but mostly fond. “Sounds like Rory.”

“Everyone in Stars Hollow thought I was the antichrist. Maybe Rory didn’t, and maybe we were friends, but she definitely wasn’t okay with who I was then. Maybe she thought, with enough Schoolhouse Rock videos, she could get me to shape up,” Jess continued, taking small glances out the sliding glass door as he spoke. He could see a sliver of the city lights past another building on the right side. It was better than the bland brick wall and the dumpster which served as his view from the room in Truncheon.

“Hey, she is an amazing tutor. If there was anyone who could’ve converted you to the Ivy League conveyor belt, it was her,” Ella said.

“Yeah, but you and I both know school was never the way I was supposed to go. It was the way you were supposed to go, but you didn’t try to get me to be anything other than what I was,” he told her, voice light but eyes sincere.

Ella felt her heart skip a beat, but shrugged again. “I don’t know. I definitely tried to get you to ditch those CDs.”

“The exception that proves the rule,” he replied.

“Speaking of, I figured out how I’m gonna organize the books,” she said, tossing a look past his shoulder at the empty shelves.

“How is that a ‘speaking of’?” he asked, a confused smirk coming over his face.

“I’m doing genre, then alphabetical order by author. The way you used to do your CDs when we were in high school,” she explained.

“Oh.” Jess had his eyes trained on her, watching as she undid her bandana and ran her fingers through her mess of blonde hair. He chewed on his bottom lip. Then, after a pause filled only with Patti Smith’s poetry, he blurted out: “Y’know, you were the first person I ever said ‘I love you’ to. The only person.”

Her gaze softened and she nodded. “Me too.”

“No, Stevens, I mean anyone. Not just Nora Ephron kind of love. Not family either,” he said, most insistent, though he did his best to keep his tone nonchalant. As though it were just a run-of-the-mill fact about his past.

She stopped for a moment, brow crinkling. “Your mom never said it to you? Not even hippie dippie Liz?”

“No. We weren’t that kind of family. She wasn’t that kind of mom.”

A crease of concern deepened between her brows. Every time it had come up before, she assumed both of them meant romantic love. Familial was a different beast. But she had to remind herself never to assume with Liz, no matter how she seemed. Jess had arrived when Liz was a binge-drinking nineteen-year-old.

Before her brief interlude in the ‘love doesn’t exist’ frame of mind, before her mother’s death, Ella’s world had been filled with ‘I love you’s. Mostly from her mother, in her soft voice, with her delicate perfume. Some from her grandmother, and even from her father. And after, Lorelai had sometimes said them in passing. Rory, too. The three words, no matter how commonplace they could sound, were important, she knew. Especially when they weren’t uttered, or stopped being uttered.

She opened her mouth to say something, then bit the inside of her cheek and hesitated. Rising from her place, she rounded the corner of the coffee table and went over to him. Jess tilted his head at her in askance, but she only answered him by sitting down in his lap, straddling him as their noses drew only inches apart. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and simply hugged him. For a moment, he sat motionless, his muscles tense. It wasn’t the reaction he’d been expecting, if he’d been expecting one at all. But then, he circled his own arms around her waist. They sat there, breathing slow and clinging to each other, for a long time. Patti Smith droned on around them, enveloping them.

Eventually, she pulled away and ran her fingers affectionately through his hair. He looked up at her, unsure of what to say. Fortunately, she took the lead, gaze unwavering as she spoke in her quiet, husky voice.

“Jess, you’re the fucking best. You’re my favorite person. And you’re gonna be hearing ‘I love you’ every day for the rest of our life,” she assured him, matter-of-fact. “So, I suggest you get used to it.”

“Right back at ya,” he replied after an awestruck pause, just before their lips met.

In spite of the fuss over the bed frame, Jess and Ella ended up spending the night on the worn rug in the living room, nearly naked underneath the first throw blanket they could find in the boxes around them.

[winryofresembool]

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 3

aka Caleo uni AU

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: Calypso gets a new friend and notices that maybe her flatmate isn't that bad after all.

A/N: Time to introduce Annabeth! I will slowly be adding more of the familiar characters, in the next chapter there will be more (but who, may that remain a secret for another week).

As usual, thanks to my friend Cris for betaing! And thanks to everyone who's been commenting, know that your comments really have motivated me to continue this fic! Please keep them coming :)

And now, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

Characters in this ch: Calypso, Leo, Annabeth

Words: 1300+

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort (in the future chapters)

Warnings: none

previous chapter / next chapter / AO3

...

It was the morning of Calypso’s first day at the university. The first week would mostly be orientation, meaning getting to know her fellow students, the professors, the campus, her program and so on a bit better. She was feeling quite nervous because aside from Leo she hadn’t really met other students living in the area yet, and if she was honest with herself, her friend making skills weren’t the best. Due to the circumstances at her home, she had never had a close friend, and her relationships tended to end after a couple of months for various reasons. But this was finally a good chance to find other people interested in the same topics as she was, and she didn’t want to blow it up.

As she was making herself breakfast, her roommate showed up and sat down on a chair next to her, leaning his chin against the backrest. His fingers were tapping against the hard wood of the table like Calypso had already seen them do a few times in the past few days. The boy never seemed to be able to sit still.

“First day in this university, huh?” Leo asked. “You nervous?”

“What do you want?” Calypso asked suspiciously, not answering his question. She wasn’t feeling like opening up about her nervousness to this boy who for some reason made her feel even more restless. It was almost as if his nervous energy was contagious.

“Listen,” Leo started, now looking at her directly and stopping the tapping for a moment. “I know we haven’t exactly started off great, but we’re still going to be living together for a while so I thought we should at least be even. So. I fixed your desk.”

“I don’t want to owe you anything,” Calypso said matter-of-factly.

“You’re not owing me!” Leo exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air for a bigger impact. “I… well, Festus, but it was my fault… broke it so I thought it was the appropriate thing to do. But if you are too proud to…” His voice started to rise a bit. He had not expected Calypso to be that stubborn.

“Okay,” she said, putting her hand on his shoulder briefly to stop his rambling. “I’ll accept it. Thanks. I guess.”

“Not exactly the reaction I was expecting but I’ll accept it,” he mocked her tone and earned an angry look from Calypso. “I was hoping for something more like ‘thank you so much, my favorite roomie, you’re the best!’” To avoid another lash from her, he quickly changed the subject: “Anyway, I also wanted to tell you that we should probably take weekly turns with cleaning the common area, like I did with Jason. I can take this week if you want to.”

“No, I can take it.” Calypso said with a tone that meant this won’t be discussed further.

“Is there anything you can’t make an argument about, Miss Sunshine?” Leo stared at her with frustration while his hands were reaching for the chips from a bag he had left on the dining table the other day.

“You make it rather easy, Valdez. Also, who eats chips for breakfast?” She shook her head with disapproval. “Manners,” she mumbled under her breath before turning to put the milk back into the fridge. “Now, I’d like to finish my breakfast so if you excuse me…”

She took her bowl of cereals and an orange with her into her room and closed the door behind her.

…

“Don’t forget to get your books for next week, we’re already going to start with…” A professor announced at the end of his long lecture. The rest of his speech was drowned by the sound of the students starting to get up and collect their stuff to leave the class.

“When I signed up for this, I was not expecting them to have full blown lectures on the first day,” a blonde girl behind Calypso noted. Unlike Calypso, who felt overwhelmed by the amount of information she had just received, the other girl seemed almost bored as if she already knew everything they had been told.

“Yeah, me neither,” Calypso admitted, realizing that the girl was talking to her. “But I guess that’s university for you…”

“Right,” the blonde agreed. “Anyway, what’s your name? I don’t know anyone in this group yet but I’d like to change that.”

“Oh! I’m Calypso. Calypso Astal,” she gave the girl her hand to shake. “You can call me Cal, though…”

The other girl took it and shook it firmly. “Annabeth Chase. I’m actually an architect student but I’m also interested in history so I decided to make it my minor subject. I guess that means I’ll be seeing you a lot this semester!”

“Oh, that’s cool!” Calypso exclaimed. “I like drawing too but I doubt I would actually be good enough to design buildings.”

“There’s a lot that you need to take into account when designing,” Annabeth agreed, “but practice makes perfect.” As the girls passed a window that showed them the beautiful old main building of their university, she gestured at it and added: “One day I’d love to design something that will make people stop and say ‘hey, did you know this building was designed by none other than Annabeth Chase?’”

“To be honest, I haven’t thought that far,” Calypso admitted. “This is all still so new to me, I’ve been…” She decided she didn’t want to reveal her home circumstances to someone she had just met so she changed her approach: “well, there’s a lot I still want to experience so I have not devoted myself to just one path yet. I came here because I needed to get away, and history was an easy choice because I’ve always been interested in it. I still don’t picture myself researching the past events for the rest of my life.”

Annabeth nodded understandingly. “I think a lot of people of our age feel that way. My boyfriend… Well, now he’s having a swimming career but we both know that isn’t gonna last forever so I’ve been trying to get him to think of other possibilities for when he no longer feels the passion for competing. But he doesn’t see it the same way, he says I always plan too much ahead. Which I guess may be partially true,” she chuckled and rubbed the back of her head awkwardly, feeling she may have revealed a bit too much.

“Yeah. I like to go with a similar ‘go with the flow’ attitude as well.” In her head Calypso added: ‘because of what happened at home’.

“Anyway,” Annabeth decided to change the topic when she noticed Calypso had gone quiet. “This is a bit of a random question, but are you familiar with this town yet?”

“No, not yet.” Calypso shook her head. “I moved here only a week ago.”

“In that case, would you like me to show around some day?” Annabeth asked, opening her phone calendar. “I’d have time for example tomorrow.”

“Oh, sure, that would be great!” Calypso said. “Definitely beats listening to my roommate’s tinkering all day long.”

“Tinkering? You wouldn’t happen to be flatmates with Leo Valdez?” Annabeth connected the dots. The campus wasn’t that big and he had heard some stories through her boyfriend about one very enthusiastic mechanic.

“Unfortunately, I am. How did you know?” Calypso asked curiously.

“Oh, he has a bit of a reputation here,” Annabeth said mischievously. When Calypso looked at her suspiciously, she added: “I’m just kidding, my boyfriend is good friends with one guy named Jason who used to be Leo’s flatmate. I’ve never met him but I did keep hearing that he was constantly building something in his room. And also, Leo likes making a number of himself so he has put plenty of flashy ads on the uni bulletin boards telling about his mechanic business.”

“I guess I should have known that,” Calypso facepalmed.

“You don’t seem to like him very much, do you?” Annabeth asked, raising her eyebrow.

“Um…” Calypso wasn’t sure why she was revealing all this to a stranger, but it just felt right. “Our chemistry just… isn’t working. We’re very different and…” She tried to think of other reasons for their issues, which turned out to be harder than she expected. She realized that she didn’t really know him yet. “Uh, his dog broke my desk on the day I moved in and I’ve been mad at him ever since. He did apologize but… something about his attitude irks me. I don’t even know what it is.”

Annabeth’s mouth curled up a bit in amusement. She wanted to say that sounded a lot like her relationship with her boyfriend Percy had started. “That happens sometimes. Maybe… give him another chance, though. I mean, I don’t really know him or anything but sometimes the first impressions aren’t the best ones. You haven’t been living together for a long time yet, so there’s probably a lot you don’t know about him.”

“Yeah. You’re right. I feel kind of silly for complaining about that to a stranger. But thanks for listening!”

“No problem! Listen, I should get going now because I have a meeting with some architect friends but I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah! You bet!”

The girls quickly exchanged their phone numbers before separating to their own ways. As Calypso was walking towards her flat, though, she felt a small smile spread on her face. Maybe she had just made her first friend.

..

When Calypso got inside, to her surprise she found her broken desk waiting for her near her room. Only, it wasn’t broken anymore. She had wondered where it had disappeared after the incident but hadn’t really given it too much thought considering the state of the desk, thinking that Leo might have taken it to a recycling center or something. However, it turned out he had done a lot more than that. The broken board had been replaced with a new one and he had also sandpapered the surface, painted it and varnished it so it looked better than it had looked when it was brand new. Calypso could only stare with an open mouth at the fine job he had done. Once she had finally recovered from the surprise a bit, she yelled:

“Valdez!”

“¿Sí?” he peeked from his room, not sure what to expect. To his surprise, he saw the first genuine smile he had seen on her face.

“Would you like to help me to carry this into my room?” she asked in a friendly manner, still smiling. Leo took that as a win and agreed to help.

When they were done, Calypso did another thing that surprised both herself and him: she gently touched his arm and said: “Thanks. It looks good. And I mean it.”

“Leo Valdez, always ready to help.” He made a silly bowing gesture that made Calypso snort.

“You know, maybe you’re not quite so bad after all.”

Leo rolled his eyes. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you this whole time,” he said, but there were no ill feelings behind his words.

“Now go before I change my mind,” Calypso said playfully. Leo gave her his signature grin and as he left the room, he felt he had finally managed to crack her cover a bit.

[everlastingcaptainswan]

Contractual Attraction (11/?)

Enchanted Forest AU 

Summary: The war had raged on for many years, the people of Misthaven would say too many, and there was only one way to end it, only one way to quiet talks of rebellion. Princess Emma of Misthaven would have to marry the enemy, Prince Killian of Montave.

Notes: It’s finals week and let me tell you online school is terrible, but I’m almost done with my bachelors! It’s exciting and exhausting. Hopefully you guys enjoy the chapter! 

FF        Ao3

Chapter Eleven: Imminent Danger 

Emma gathered her parents and Leo the next morning deciding that she should tell them about Killian’s plan without him. Let them be angry at her then bring him in later, after cooler heads prevailed. 

“This is what he wanted his ship for?” Snow asked, truly stumped. 

“But why not ask for something in the treaty?” David wondered out loud. 

“Cause the brothers are used to using their military minds, not being diplomats,” Emma sighed. 

“What do you want to do?” Snow raised an eyebrow at her daughter, unsure of what she will ask for. 

“I want to help them. We can’t let their people starve. How much can we afford to give them?” Emma began pacing in their war room, worrying running throughout her entire body. 

“Depends on what they could give us in return.” Emma stopped pacing and looked at her mother. 

“But-” 

“No buts, Emma. Nothing is free in this world. I’m willing to help, but they viciously attacked our farmers in the war, we have less than I would like, in case of god knows what. If they could propose a trade, something for our people then I’d be willing to give more.” Snow gave her daughter a stern look. Emma was about to plead their case when David stood, “Why don’t you go get the prince, he can help negotiate a trade.” Her father almost pushed her out of the room. When the door shut behind her Emma glared at it. She stomped her way up to Killian’s room, knocking on his door. 

Killian opened his door in a hurry, worry on his face, “what have they decided?” Emma pushed past him into his room. Killian stood cautiously in the doorway, looking back at her. 

“They- ugh my mother. I-” Emma shook her head. Killian stalked over to Emma, placing his hands on her shoulders. 

“Take a deep breath. Gather yourself.” Emma closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath. When she opened them, his blue ones were staring deeply into hers. 

“What happened?” he asked her with all the calm he could muster. 

“Mom wants a trade. Whatever you could give, I wanted to just help. She can hold a grudge and didn’t take kindly to the fact that your men burned our farmer’s fields.” Killian dropped his hold on her and shook his head. 

“I never felt right about doing that. Our father always initiated that move and our generals continued it after his death. Anyway, we can trade the sins of the father and all that.”  He nodded solemnly. Emma wanted to say something, but knew they didn’t have time. 

Emma turned and held out her hand to him, he took it without hesitation. Killian followed her down to the war room, hell he’d probably follow her to the ends of the realm, maybe even time itself. 

Emma let go of his hand once they reached the door of the war room. Killian opened the door for her and waited for her to go through. Emma began to pace again, watching the interaction between Killian and Snow. The door shut behind Killian, who strode up to the table. 

“I hear a trade is in order.” 

“Our people need to eat too; I can’t abandon them for yours.” Snow quirked an eyebrow at him. 

“I understand. When we came into port, I noticed there weren’t many fishing boats in the harbor. We have plenty of fish, we could trade fish for some grain, seeds.” 

“We have a deal. Emma write down the details.” Emma glared at her mother and gathered a scroll and quill. As Killian and Snow talked Emma scribbled down the details of their agreement. Leo left to sit as proxy in a meeting Snow was supposed to be in. David chimed in occasionally, never taking his eyes off the prince. 

“Your ship should be here next week. We will quietly begin to gather what you need, and you can meet your men in the safe house to give them the details.” Snow straightened her back 

“Where is the safe house?” Killian asked. 

“Emma can show you later. Now, I have other matters to attend to. Make sure that paperwork gets to Doc and we’ll sign it,” Snow addressed the last part to Emma. Snow and David left swiftly. Emma gathered the papers off the table. As she moved toward the door, Killian reached out and grazed her hand with his. 

“Thank you, love.” Emma nodded, not quite meeting his eyes. 

“At dusk we’ll go down to the safe house. Meet me at the stables.” Emma shut the door behind her and Killian sighed. He felt like they were back at square one. 

      Killian does as he was told and went to the stables at dusk. He wore his black vest, pants, and his long leather jacket. Killian was trying to blend in tonight, and it didn’t hurt that he always caught Emma eyeing his chest hair when he wore his vests. 

      Killian chose Orion again when Emma came in wearing a plain grey dress and dark green cloak. Aside from her beauty she could almost pass for a villager. Emma goes to Buttercup, uttering soothing words. 

      “How long will it take to get there, love?” Emma flicked up the hood of her cloak and tucked her blonde curls into it. 

      “About an hour more or less. We’re taking the back roads into town.” She told him. He caught her eye and she quickly looked away. They rode out of the stables in silence, Killian supposed he had earned her distance and silent treatment, but it hurt, nonetheless. They made their way swiftly through the countryside and into the village. They took the back roads as Emma said and ended up tying up their horses in the back of a house that was close to the harbor. Killian paid attention to every twist and turn they had taken through town in case he ever had to come alone. Neither of them said a word until Emma unlocked the back door and shut it behind them. 

      The house was pitch black and Emma deftly moved her way around the house lighting a couple candles so they could see. 

      “You’ve been here a lot?” Killian glanced around the house, taking in the cozy surroundings. Emma was moving toward the fireplace when Killian stopped her. 

      “You’re going to have to look at me at some point, love.” Her jaw clenched when he called her that. She sighed and turned her head in his direction. Emma opened her mouth then shut it again. 

      “Are you going to be mad at me forever?” 

      “Perhaps, I hadn’t decided yet,” she mumbled, “After my parents forbade me from being on the battlefield, I was a nurse. Eventually that was too hard for me to be so close to the battlefield and not be out there with my men. I was held back several times, eventually I had to leave. I had to do something however I was never much for sitting still. So, we ran spies from this house. They would get their assignments from me, come back, and debrief here.” 

      “Did you live here the whole time?” He asked, noting her ease and knowledge of the house as she began looking through cabinets. 

      “Mostly yes, occasionally I went home. Ruby joined me here more often than not to bring supplies and whatnot.”

      “What are you looking for?” 

      “I was just seeing what food stores we left here, if any. The house was cleaned out of anything.” Emma sighed, flopping into a chair tired after the events of the day. Killian pulled out a flask and handed it to her. 

      “Not dinner, but will keep you warm while I get this fire started.” Her hand brushed his as she accepted the flask. Killian turned his back on her and found some flint, kindling, and logs beside the fireplace. Emma took a big gulp, knowing they weren’t going anywhere tonight. 

      “Rum?” 

      “Never far without it, doesn’t hurt to have it in a pinch.” Emma hummed, taking another swig. 

      “I know you feel like I betrayed you by not telling you about my intentions. I am sorry about that, but I was doing so to protect and save my people. Can you tell me you wouldn’t do the same?” Killian turned back to her after the fire was started. She blinked a few times. 

      “No, I suppose I can’t.” Killian stood at her side, the fire roaring behind him. His hand rested on her shoulder. Her jade eyes caught his blue ones. 

      “It won’t happen again. You’re right we’re partners, that being said there’s one last thing I have to tell you.” His tone and demeanor were serious. It caught her attention. He pulled a chair out from the table she was sitting at. 

      “What is it?” 

      “Liam and I have been looking for a way to end this war for five years now.” The words hit Emma like a brick wall. 

      “What?” 

      “This war was our father’s idea, his ultimate legacy he used to say. He was right in that sense, he died before it was over, and it lasted even when he was gone. Liam and I spent most of our formative years training and leading our men, we spent time on the front lines. Our father never did. He didn’t see the carnage, the true horrors of war. He didn’t see what it did to our villages, our people. He just cared about the land gained, resources that were now his. My father was a harsh man and didn’t take well to our dissent, so eventually we stopped voicing it and found little ways to ruin his plans that could never be brought back on us. We thought that when he died that we could end it and bring peace back to the realm.” He said steadily, as if he had practiced this speech before. 

      “Your father died five years ago…” 

      “Yes, then the problem was his generals after years of being under his rule they were just as hungry for war as he was and had grievances of their own by then. Our people were mad too, their King dead, everyone still wanted the war to be a victorious win. Otherwise if we ended this war a coup would’ve taken place. Liam and I decided to bide our time. Liam wanted to insure one final victory before ultimately leading to stalemate.”

“The capture of Arendelle..” Emma was in shock and he kept talking, kept telling her everything. 

“Aye, our advisors were also urging him to pick a bride and soon. They wanted to secure the line of succession.” He barreled on. Emma stood up at this point. Killian’s eyes widened; he was watching her every move. 

“I lost my magic six years ago…” She trailed off. All the scenarios running through her head. Maybe if the brothers were successful and Montave was seen to be surrendering Emma wouldn’t have lost her magic. Regina wouldn’t have been as big of a threat. Her family could’ve come together to defeat Regina, not just Emma. The plan would’ve been different, everything would’ve been different. All of the maybes and what ifs were making her head spin. 

“Emma, I-” She cut him off with a glare. 

“No, you really should stop talking now. You’re telling me that war has been pointless for years now, that we were always headed here. That our men died for nothing, all because you two didn’t have the support to end it. Don’t get me wrong, I get it you couldn’t come out against your father, but Killian everything I’ve done has been for nothing! That the curse was for nothing! That losing my magic was for nothing!” She practically yelled at him. 

“I-” Killian stuttered. He was just trying to be honest with her and have her understand that he was on her side. He opened his mouth and stuck his own damn foot in it. 

“Why now? Why have Elsa propose the treaty?” She snapped. 

“The people’s opinion turned on the war, there were talks of riots and rebellions. With that we were able to change our general’s minds.” He answered not sure of what she would ask next. Emma curled her hand into a ball. What she wanted to do was to lash out and use her magic, she wanted that familiar warmth back in her body. His revelation gave her a flicker of hope and she hated herself for feeling it. 

“Emma, I’m sorry I never thought- I didn’t want another secret to come out and hurt you, hurt us.” Killian stood up once more and moved to her. Emma stepped out of his reach, backing away towards the door. Every step she took hurt his heart. 

“I understand, I need a minute.” Emma so badly wanted to run away, but they couldn’t reveal their location. Instead she left the room and went upstairs to the room she used while running the house. Emma slammed the door behind her. She paced in front of the window, trying to calm down. For the first time since Killian placed the ring on her finger, she wanted to rip it off. Her hand traced over it, but she couldn’t do it and she didn’t know why. 

Emma couldn’t change the past even if she wanted to, even if she had her magic. It was one of those things that was part of dark magic that Emma never dared to touch or even consider. She just longed for a world that wasn’t consumed and torn apart by war. Emma wanted her magic back. A sob ripped through her, she had never admitted those words to herself because what was the point, she couldn’t have it back, why want it?

Emma kicked her boots off and climbed into the bed, letting the warm blankets envelope her. Her tears soaking the pillow beneath her, sleep overcoming her. 

Killian sighed when he heard a door somewhere slam shut. He just rocked her world and he knew it. He never imagined how this news would change everything for her. He can’t seem to get it right with her. He took several swigs of rum and decided to roam about the house and become familiar with it. If his men would be stationed here for the time being, then he would have to be here too. Killian wandered through several bedrooms on the ground floor, an office, and the kitchen once more. The office had been cleared of any materials or documents. Killian found some paper and ink with a quill. He snatched it up and wrote out a letter to Liam. His brother could reason with him better than anyone, he would know what to do about this predicament with Emma. Liam would have the best advice for him because Killian watched Liam struggle with his feelings for Elsa for many years now. 

Killian left the cold dark office to pen his letter next to the light and warmth of the fire. It took him a while to find the right words to explain what had happened between him and Emma. He was so absorbed in the letter he didn’t hear her descend the stairs. 

Emma was barefoot with a blanket wrapped around her, her eyes slightly puffy and red. Killian hadn’t dared go up the stairs where she had gone. He wanted to give her the appropriate space to process everything. 

“Just grabbing some water.” Emma went to her pack and grabbed her canteen. She took a swig and gave him a sheepish look. 

“I shouldn’t have snapped at you earlier.”

“No, love I understand completely why you did. I should’ve- honestly, I don’t know what I should’ve done. Not telling you meant it could’ve come out later and telling you seemed to have hurt you too.” Killian shook his head. 

“A double-edged sword.” He blinked a few times before nodding. 

“Aye, it was. Do you miss your magic?” He watched her as she took the chair across from him. 

“Every day, it was like losing a limb. My magic manifested when I was five, scared my parents to death,” when he gave her a questioning look, she continued on, “I didn’t want to play with Leo, so I put an invisible barrier between the two of us.” Killian laughed at that. 

“I can’t deny that sounds like something you would do...you barely ever mention it.” 

“It seemed pointless to want or hope for such things when it’s not possible,” she shrugged. Her hand ghosting over the scars on her right arm. 

“There’s no hope you could ever get it back?” Emma shook her head. 

“We searched for a way to reverse the spell for a couple years. Nothing ever came of it, I eventually told them to give up. The glimmer of hope just to be let down again was too painful.” Killian reached out for her hand and she let him have it. 

“I’m sorry, love.” She gave him a faint, weak smile. 

“It’s okay there’s nothing you can do about it. See you found the office, who’s the letter to?” She nodded toward the paper scattered on the table. 

“If I could do something I would. And ah Liam, just ramblings of a younger brother who has few friends in a strange kingdom.” He smirked as did she. Killian gathered up the papers and folded them to place in an envelope he took from the desk. 

“I’m going to bed; you can pick any of the rooms to sleep in. We’ll head back to the castle before sunrise.” Her hand slipped out of his hold as she stood up, adjusting her grip on the blanket. 

“Aye goodnight, love.” 

“Goodnight.” She brushed her lips across his cheek, a blush rising in his cheeks after realizing what she had done. Maybe there was hope for them after all. With her body so close to his Killian clenched his fist, he wanted so badly to reach up to her hip and hold her close to his side. He had to reign in those feelings. 

Emma gave him one last lingering look before heading back up the stairs. When she looked at him like that his heart would stop, it’s like she saw him. Killian sighed and placed the letter in his pack before heading up to get some shut eye as well. 

They reached the castle just as the sun was rising in the morning. Neither of them got much sleep last night and Emma desperately wanted to slip into her bed and sleep for a couple more hours. Ruby met them at the door, her arms crossed. Never a good sign. 

“Rubs not that I don’t love you, but why the hell are you up and waiting for us?” Emma approached her. 

“Emergency council meeting, everyone is waiting for you two actually.” Ruby told them, a nervous glint in her eye. 

“Any hint to what this is about?” Killian asked, looking from Emma to Ruby then to Emma again. 

“It’s urgent, Snow didn’t say more than that.” Ruby shook her head. 

“Great, well let’s not keep them waiting.” Emma said, sarcasm dripping from her voice. Ruby gave her a sympathetic smile and led the way. Without thinking about it Emma fumbled for Killian’s hand. He grabbed it and squeezed it tightly. Emma looked at him with worry in her eyes. He knew whatever was coming wasn’t good if she was looking at him like that. Ruby didn’t miss their connected hands or the looks they exchanged, she simply smiled and kept her mouth shut, for once. 

They entered the war room and Leo, David, Snow, Graham, and August were sitting there waiting for them. August straightened up when they entered. Ruby, Emma, and Killian took their seats quickly. 

“You may begin,” Snow nodded. Graham looked to August. 

“This was more your quest than mine. Tell them what you found.” 

“I guess it was. In Arendelle the Dark One’s visit bothered me, it seemed odd that he would just show up. How did he even know Emma used magic for mere seconds, from far away? It didn’t add up, he couldn’t be watching her at all times. So, when we were there, I asked around seeing if maybe he had another reason to visit, really to find out if anything out of the ordinary had happened. The same day he was there a magical vase went missing. I didn’t think this was a coincidence, so his visit had two purposes and his proximity might explain how he knew Emma used magic. The vase apparently can hold people indefinitely. It got me thinking what he was up to, so I started looking around more to see if there were other stolen objects. There were, a wand hidden in a mountain cave that vanished last week, a gauntlet that is supposed to give the user courage was taken, the mirror in the Evil Queen’s castle is now gone, and I’m sure there are more I don’t know about.” David leaned forward on the table,

“What do you think all this means?” 

“That he’s planning something big and we need to be prepared.” August concluded. Emma stood up from her seat and went to the frosted window, her hands gripping the windowsill. If she still had her magic this wouldn’t be a problem. It almost made her blood boil, it was so frustrating to have it close, but not be able to use it. 

“We still have the protections from the fairies, or do you mean something more?” Leo asked, looking around the room. 

“More. We need Emma to have her magic.” August said nervously. Emma spun around at this point. 

“I would like that too, but we explored all the options last time it’s not possible.” Emma crossed her arms. Snow and David exchanged a guilty look. 

“Emma, it is. We just never…” Snow shuddered. 

“None of us could stomach it. There’s a difference,” Emma snapped. 

“The Dark One is gearing up for a fight or some big terrible plan of his. We don’t have a choice. He’s not just a threat to everyone in this room, but also the kingdom,” Graham told her sternly. Emma narrowed her gaze at him. They hadn’t spoken since the ball, he needed space and time to get over her. His tone told her that Graham was still upset with her. 

“Will someone please tell me what is going on? I thought there wasn’t a way to get it back.” Killian only has eyes for Emma. Sometimes she thought that those piercing blue eyes could stare straight through to her soul, like he could see her heart. The rest of the world would melt away when he did that, like nothing else mattered. 

“There isn’t.” 

“There is, technically the spell can be reversed if the spell is not actively holding someone anymore,” David explained, “If the Evil Queen is dead the curse won’t have anything to hold onto, Emma’s magic will come back.” 

“In theory it’s never been confirmed, we think that’s what will happen,” Emma added, shaking her head. 

“Why didn’t this happen?” Killian’s brow furrows, confusion on his face. 

“Snow was almost raised by the woman, and couldn’t. The rest of us…” David trailed off. 

“Didn’t feel right killing someone who was defenseless,” Leo finished for his father. Killian’s gaze snapped toward Emma. 

“You have plenty of loyal knights who I’m sure would do it for you…”

“We don’t do that here,” Snow started, “If the royal family can’t carry out the execution then it doesn’t happen. We can’t ask our men to do what we aren’t willing to do.” Emma was perched on the windowsill, her hands gripping the edge. 

“I’ll do it.” Emma’s gaze snapped to Killian. 

“No!” 

“Emma, I told you last night I would do anything to help you with your magic, those weren’t empty words. I have no qualms about killing her, she’s caused you enough pain.” He stood from his spot at the table, turning toward her. 

“It’s too dangerous, the cave she’s kept in has traps all over it. You’ll be lucky to get out alive,” she argued. He can’t be this stupid, this reckless, not for her. 

“I can manage just fine; I have my wits about me.” He dismissed her concerns. 

“I don’t want anyone risking their life for my mistake!” Killian walked over to her at this point, tilting her chin up. 

“I don’t want that bloody Dark One near anyone I care about. I don’t want you defenseless.” 

“I don’t want you dead!” She practically shouted at him, to make him understand. This wasn’t some simple mission, everything with this damn curse had consequences. This would not be the exception.

David cleared his throat and Emma and Killian jumped apart. Emma hadn’t realized how close they were. Killian scratched his ear, a blush evident in his cheeks. 

“I’m serious, Killian. Nothing good will come from going after her. This damn curse has already taken something precious from me, I won’t let it take you too. Please, don’t do it.” Emma wasn’t sure if her pleas were falling on deaf ears, but she couldn’t stand here anymore. She needed a minute to breathe. This man couldn't be ready to go headfirst into danger for her. Emma stalked out of the war room and slammed the door behind her.

[iwritesickfic]

1/2 Aaaaah I’ve fallen quickly in love with your writing, I love your style. A couple of prompts, since you asked for them: Peter thinks he’s recovering from a bad illness- genuinely so fed up of being ill that at this point he’s willing to pretend to himself and everyone else he’s feeling better. Meanwhile he’s still staying up late working, and one day he gets stuck in the rain on the way from class and needs some help... and Ashlyn is closest...

First, thank you!!!!!! Second, this is long as hell and I also got sucked into the DRAMA of it all so I hope you still enjoy it :) might write a second part if we’re feeling it? anyway, enjoy and thanks for the kind words and prompts :)

It seems like it’s been forever since Peter hasn’t felt like shit. It’s like his body is trying to make up for all the years he spent avoiding every cold and flu that went around. He has to admit though, the main reason he’s still ill is because he won’t really give himself the time to fully recover. As soon as he’s feeling halfway decent, he dives back into life as normal - which for him, is 6 hours sleep and living on coffee - and within a week he’s back to being practically bedridden.

Leo is fed up with it. Big time. At least that’s what Peter’s gathered. Leo’s never said as much, but Peter figures he must be getting tired of it by now. So much that Peter’s stopped telling him how he’s feeling. At first it was just lying by omission. Now it’s lying-lying.

Today, everything’s concentrated in his head. His sinuses are throbbing, and his eyes hurt to move. He’s been swapping between chills and feeling too hot all day, and he’s pretty sure everyone in his lecture class hates his guts for his constant sniffling. He ran out of tissues about an hour into the six hour course, so he’s stuck wiping his nose with the crumpled leftovers and the few napkins he finds in a pocket of his bag.

By the time there’s only an hour left in class, he’s lost all ability to absorb anything the professor is saying. He’s shaking so badly he can’t take notes even if he wanted to. He’s considered leaving early, but to be honest, he’d rather put off his walk to the train as long as possible. He decides when he gets home, he’s chugging some nyquil, taking a cold shower, and going the fuck to sleep. He’s got a date with Leo tonight but he’ll need to make some excuse.

When the professor finally ends the class, he gets a rush of dopamine at the thought he’s only a 15 minute walk and a 30 minute train ride from some relief.

He stares at his phone, trying to think of something to tell Leo.

something came up, can i see you thursday?

Leo texts back almost immediately.

we already rescheduled twice are you sure you cant make it?

Peter bites his lip.

it’s a thesis thing. im sorry i promise thursday night.

He starts to pack his bag, and his phone buzzes.

ok, good luck love x

He pushes down the wave of guilt he feels and slings his bag over his shoulder. His heart drops into his stomach when he gets to the building’s lobby. It’s raining. Really raining, not just drizzling, but pouring. He swears, and sits down on one of the benches. He can wait.

Ten minutes later, the rain still hasn’t let up, and he knows if he doesn’t get up now he’s going to end up asleep on this bench whether he likes it or not. When he stands, the world starts to spin, and he has to bite back a whine at the way his headache worsens.

He pulls his hood on, even though it won’t make much of a difference, and takes a step outside. It’s not even five minutes before he’s soaked. At first, the rain almost felt nice on his fevered skin, but now he’s freezing. The cold’s worsened the way his nose is running, there’s mess all over his upper lip, and he can’t stop sneezing. His hair is stuck to his forehead, water gathered in his eyelashes. It’s another five minutes before he realizes he’s not getting to the train. His knees give out, and he has to catch himself against a bus shelter. He manages to make it to the bench inside, and sinks down, hyperventilating. He looks around aimlessly, hoping something will catch his eye and give him some semblance of a plan. And it does.

He’s on 110th and Amsterdam. That’s a block from Ashlynn’s apartment. Less than a block. He stands up, waiting for the world to stop spinning before making an attempt to walk. He tries not to think about the cold, or the way he can’t feel his toes, or the pounding in his head. Just focuses on one foot in front of the other.

He finds himself at her building. He presses her buzzer with shaking fingers, praying she’s home. He doesn’t have to wait even 30 seconds before the lobby door opens.

he steps inside, unable to hold back the heavy sigh of relief at the sudden warmth. He stands there for a moment, swaying slightly, before making his way to the elevator. Somehow, he finds himself at her door, and knocks. he hears her footsteps padding closer and closer before she’s standing right there, in front of him.

“Peter?” she looks puzzled until the world starts to tilt and he grips the doorframe to stay upright. “Whoa, hey, are you alright?” He opens his mouth to speak but three harsh sneezes come out instead, and he buries them into the wet sleeve of his hoodie. “Ok, c’mere.” She pulls him inside, and before he really knows what’s going on, he’s sitting at her kitchen table.

“S’raining,” he mumbles, and she hums in response.”M’cold.”

“I can tell. Here -” She starts to strip off his hoodie, which is totally soaked through. His shivering worsens, and she palms his forehead. “Shit, Peter.” She takes the hem of his t shirt and hesitates. “Can I...?” He nods, and she peels it off. She unties his sneakers and pulls off his socks, then bites her lip. “I can grab you a pair of my roommate’s sweatpants and you can change in the bathroom, yeah?” He shakes his head. There is no way he’s walking anywhere right now. She goes red. “You want me to...”

“M’gonna pass out if I try to stand up, Ash.”

Carefully, she unbuttons his jeans, tugging them off until he’s sitting in his underwear. She disappears for a moment before coming back with a towel, and wraps it around his shoulders. She places a box of tissues on his lap, and sits down in the chair across from him.

“What’s going on?”

“M’sick.” She laughs softly. Peter gingerly starts to wipe his nose, wincing at the raw, chapped soreness. He blows, and a spike of pain hits him between the eyes.

“Yeah, I can tell. Why were you -”

“Walking home from class,” he mumbles, and she nods. She stands up, and reappears with a thermometer. “Can we not?”

“If you wanna stay here then you’re gonna have to let me baby you,” she says, and if it didn’t hurt so bad he’d roll his eyes. He lets her stick the device under his tongue, and while she’s waiting for the reading she starts heating up water for tea. The thermometer beeps and she removes it gently. She frowns.

“What?” She takes a deep breath.

“It’s high, that’s all.” He raises his eyebrows at her. “102.2.”

“Not so bad,” he murmurs. He’s struggling to keep his eyes open. Sitting here in the warmth of the kitchen his body is finally deciding it’s had enough. The sudden warmth is also making his nose run. He sniffles.

“I’m not even gonna comment on that. C’mon, you can lay down on the couch. I’d offer you my bed but I don’t think you’ll make it that far to be honest.” He nods, and she pulls him upright. He manages to make it the few feet to the couch, and lands heavily. She swaps the towel for a blanket, and he’s never felt something better than the way it feels on his freezing, damp skin. Dry and warm and heavy. He curls up on his side, holding a tissue under his still-leaking nose, and he doesn’t last 30 seconds before falling asleep.

He’s awakened suddenly by the harsh ring of his cell phone. His headache is worse, despite the rest, and though his nose has stopped running it seems, his head is fully, hopelessly congested. He digs through his bag to find his phone, and frowns when he sees it’s Leo. He considers letting the call go to voicemail, but that’s before he sees the 5 previous missed calls.

“Hello?” He hates the way his voice sounds - sick and congested and torn up.

“Peter, what the fuck is going on?”

“I’m uh...I’m home working on thesis.” It takes him a moment to remember his lie from earlier.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Why then do I see a photo of you, shirtless, on Ashlynn’s couch?” Peter knows immediately that he has fucked up, big time. “Do I really need to explain to you why that makes me upset?”

“Leo -”

“You better have a good fucking explanation for this.” Maybe it’s the fever, maybe it’s the fact he hasn’t seen Leo in weeks, or maybe it’s the build up of all the guilt he’s felt lying to him, but Peter feels tears start to fall. He breaks into sobs, and they make his headache exponentially worse.

“Leo, p-please, I -” He can barely speak around his tears. “Please don’t be mad.”

“Mad at you for what?” His voice is cold. “Tell me. I want to hear you tell me.”

“It’s...it’s not -”

“Tell me, Peter.”

“I didn’t want...I didn’t want you to be mad at me.” His fevered brain can’t quite string together the right words.

“How would...” He trails off. “How would sleeping with Ashlynn not make me mad?”

“I didn’t - we...it wasn’t...I know you’re tired of taking care of me, so -”

“What?” Leo’s tone has shifted.

“I know you’re sick of me being sick, so I was gonna just go home and sleep and then it was raining, and I was so fucking dizzy, and I was on 110th street -”

“Wait. Stop. Let me get this straight. You’re ill?”

“Yeah,” he says, and the guilt is absolutely eating him up. “I didn’t want to bother -”

“Love, why would that be bothering me?” Leo sounds almost sad.

“You-you’re so busy, and -”

“Peter, I don’t know what kind of miscommunication happened here but I’m not...I wouldn’t be bothered if I knew you weren’t feeling well. I mean, I’d be upset but just because I don’t want you to feel bad. I wouldn’t be mad at you or angry with you or something like that. Why would you have that idea?”

“I’d hate me if I was you,” he chokes out, and Leo sighs.

“Peter...Look, can I come get you?”

“You don’t have to.”

“I know that, that’s not why I asked.” He pauses. “Where’s Ashlynn?”

That’s a good question. Peter isn’t sure. At class, maybe?

“Not uh...not here.”

“Ok, I’m gonna call you back. I love you, ok?”

“Mmhm. Love you too.”

“Ok, just relax. Everything’s alright. Hang tight.”

“Ok.”

[tornbetween2loves]

Arcana Unbound—The Beach, Part 1

Four thousand years ago gods and magic shaped and ruled and were plentiful in the world. Man and all the creatures were shaped and marked by it. Then things began to change. Gradually those things of magic diminished and the things of science took precedence until magic became a myth tucked away safely in children’s fairy tales and skilled entertainer’s parlor tricks.

It’s been a thousand years of progress unmarked by true magic.

  Things are about to change.

This is a collaboration between myself and my good friend @innerpostmentality It is a TRR AU set 25 years in the future. It focuses on the children of the TRR cast.

All characters belong to Pixelberry. Except for our wonderful OC’s, they are our precious babies and belong only to us.

This series will include parts which are NS*W. This part doesn’t contain erotica.

Pairings featured in this story: Aeneas x Sarissa, Xiphos x Calais

Tags: @darley1101 @gardeningourmet @speedyoperarascalparty @hopefulmoonobject @bobasheebaby @riseandshinelittleblossom @kennaxval @stopforamoment @furiousherringoperatortoad @indiacater @sirbeepsalot @alesana45 @strangerofbraidwood @museofbooks @furryperfectionlover @ao719 @blackcatkita  

Aeneas told his guard Evan that he would be meeting his sister, Lady Sarissa and Lord Xiphos for a picnic on the private beach in the early afternoon and likely into the evening. He asked the guard to arrange things and please ensure their privacy.

He was relieved and somewhat surprised when his father suggested he enjoy his friend’s company and not worry about sitting in on the meetings in the afternoon.

He was obsessed with her dark, smoky grey eyes and fiery red hair. She smelled like exotic flowers and spice and it took all his will power that morning to keep from burying his face in the glory of her silky locks in the middle of the restaurant. If he found the imprint of her hand on his thigh where it rested in the limo as they were coming back it wouldn't surprise him. He could still feel her hand there drawing gentle circles.

He shook his head and smiled.

He thought about a shower and shook his head again knowing the futility of it. Cold or hot once he touched her he knew he would want her badly. And there was no way he wasn't going to be there with her.

Casual... Beach Casual... He pulled on a fine linen shirt and his most comfortable pair of jeans he reserved for riding with the family. He stopped by Calais’ room and grabbed her guitar and his and a couple of extra blankets. Then headed for the stables.

He got Sarissa's text that they were leaving as he was saddling Lancelot, his Akhal-Teke stallion. Lancelot nuzzled him and Aeneas scratched his jaw affectionately, before he double checked the girth strap and secured the blankets. He also tied Calais’ guitar across the top of the blankets on Lancelot's hind quarters and slung his over his back after he mounted.

He headed out knowing he would get there a little bit after the others had arrived. But he enjoyed the ride.

Sarissa mounted her horse after she secured the picnic basket. The extra blankets were rolled and secured with Calais and Xiphos. Xiphos was in the saddle with Calais behind him arms around his waist.

Sarissa led her horse to trot slightly in front of Xiphos and Calais. Her thoughts were on Aeneas, it felt like there were thousands of butterflies fluttering in her belly as she silently wished she could sink her heels into her horse and get to him faster. But she remembered her father’s anger at them from riding through the streets unchaperoned and held back.

Xiphos smiled at the warmth of Calais pressed into his back. He felt her lay her head on his back and squeeze him tight. He grasped her hand in his and pressed her palm to his lips.

Calais loved holding him. Loved the clean crisp smell of him. She whispered low in his ear. "There's nowhere I would rather be than anywhere I am with you."

After a ride that seemed to take forever, they arrived at the beach. Sarissa surveyed the area as she searched for a spot to spread the blankets. And hoped to spot Aeneas. But there was no sign of him yet. She dismounted and tied her horse to a tree. Xiphos and Calais followed suit. “That looks like a good spot over there.” Sarissa pointed to a shaded area underneath a huge umbrella palm tree. Her fair skin was very sensitive to the sun. She did bring her wide-brimmed straw sun hat along with lots of sunscreen. But she still preferred to be shaded if possible. They started laying out the blankets and setting up the picnic.

Before they had finished Aeneas rode up. He dismounted carefully because of the guitars. Which he handed to Calais before going over to Sarissa. He took her hand and smiled mischievously, but instead of kissing her hand he pulled her into a hug and whispered low in her ear. "I missed you. You are breathtaking."

Sarissa smiled as she wrapped her arms around his waist. “Thank you,” she whispered softly as she took a deep breath and closed her eyes, lost in the feel of his arms around her. His scent was intoxicating, sandalwood with just a hint of citrus. “I missed you too. Thanks for coming.” She pulled out of the embrace but kept her fingers laced with his. She chuckled and gestured at Xiphos and Calais. “Those two can barely keep their hands off of each other. I think I would’ve been quite bored without your company.” Aeneas looked over Sarissa’s shoulder to see Xiphos pull his sister up from the blanket and kiss her softly on the lips.

He lifted a brow then turned back to smile at her. "I shall do my very best to rescue you from boredom." He stroked a finger gently across her full lower lip. Then leaned in and whispered "This beach is secured. No prying eyes. No cameras." He kissed her earlobe and then just below her ear at the junction of her neck and jaw.

Calais walked up to Lancelot and gave him a piece of apple as she scratched his jaw. "Hello Dog."

She pulled the other guitar and then the blankets off him as he stood complacently. She turned and handed the blankets to Xiphos as she grinned then went back over and finished setting out the goodies.

She looked in Xiphos' eyes after he kissed her. "I think we need to go get some wood for a fire don't you?"

Xiphos’ eyes lit up. “I think that sounds like a fabulous idea. He laced his fingers into hers and they strolled a bit further down the beach.

Sarissa shuddered at the electricity permeating her core from Aeneas’ kisses. She slid her arms up the back of his shirt and nuzzled into the crook of his neck, softly kissing him there. “Thank you for ensuring our privacy,” she purred softly in his ear.

Aeneas reluctantly stepped a little away from her, took her hand and kissed it. "Would you like to meet Lancelot? I need to take his saddle off. He's a good boy. Calais calls him Dog because his temperament is much more like a dog than most horses." He stroked her cheek and kissed her softly again.

Sarissa smiled as she stepped back from him. “Sure. He’s a beautiful horse.” She gazed up into his violet eyes, trying desperately to ignore the need building in her core. She longed for his touch, his kiss, to feel his skin on hers.

Handing her a carrot, Aeneas led her up to Lancelot. "He's a bit of a pushover for carrots. Just hold his halter while I take this saddle off."

The stallion was in a soft halter not bitted which Sarissa knew was quite unusual for a stallion.

He snorted and lipped the carrot delicately out of her hand then crunched it and huffed at her while Aeneas undid the girth and pulled the saddle off him.

Sarissa smiled and patted Lancelot’s nose as he chewed the carrot. His coat felt as silky as it looked. “Oh, he’s so soft.” She ran her hand up to the top of his head and scratched behind the ears.

Xiphos squeezed Calais’ hand and pulled her into his arms as soon as they were out of sight. He kissed her softly and cupped her cheek. “You’re so beautiful. I just can’t keep my hands off you.” He slipped his hands under her sweater, grazing his fingertips across her back and around to the front. He made small circles around her belly button.

Calais giggled. "Is it wrong of me to hope you never get over that inclination?" She smiled, "You know there is a pool with a waterfall up the trail a bit. We could go for a little swim if you like?"

Xiphos grinned big as he kissed her neck just below the ear. “I would love to take a swim with you. But aren’t you hungry Princess Growling Tummy? Shouldn’t we eat first?”

She pouted even as her tummy rumbled. "Food isn't all I'm hungry for."

She grinned, "Maybe we can interrupt Sarissa and Aeneas for a change." She kissed him again then started actually looking for some wood suitable to build a fire on the beach.

Xiphos followed Calais’ lead and began to gather wood for a fire. He smirked. “I have a feeling that those two are way too proper to allow themselves to be interrupted doing anything. We’ll probably get back and they’ll be sitting next to each other on the blanket waiting for us so they can start lunch.”

Aeneas smiled at Sarissa and his horse. "He likes you. The only question is do I need to tie him up so he's not joining our picnic. He's sweet but rather spoiled. I blame Leo for that." He looked a bit contemplative for a moment. "We'll see."

He led her back over to the shade and set the saddle down. Then sat down on the blanket and smiled at her. "So who came up with this delightful idea?"

Sarissa shrugged. “It was sort of a joint idea I guess. Calais wanted to ride horses to my house and I thought it was a good idea and maybe she and Xiphos could take the horses and ride on the beach. But my dad was so angry that we rode all the way from the palace unchaperoned without a security detail.” She smiled sheepishly at Aeneas as she sat down next to him. He had an eyebrow raised at her. “I take it by how you’re looking at me right now you agree with my dad.”

“Sit next to me Sarissa." Aeneas looked up at her and smiled softly. "You know I do. But I'm not your dad. You and Calais are both safe. I'm going to try to be in the here and now." He focused on her hand in his. "You've been on my mind all day."

Sarissa scooted close to Aeneas so she was nestled in the crook of his arm. She turned to look into his eyes. “You’ve been on my mind too. Probably more than I’d like to admit.” Her cheeks flushed pink as she squeezed his hand gently.

Aeneas voice was very low as he got lost in her eyes, "I would like very much to kiss you."

Sarissa’s breath hitched as she cupped Aeneas’ cheek and turned his head slightly toward hers. Her eyes were dark with lust-blown pupils as she pressed her lips to his. She moaned his name softly into their kiss.

Calais smiled at Xiphos. "I don't know. You know he brought both our guitars. She's getting to him. He never plays in public."

Xiphos shrugged. “I think we have enough wood to get a fire started.” He kissed her softly. “We want to have an excuse to come back here later and check out that swimming hole.”

Calais stopped Xiphos as she spotted Aeneas and Sarissa kissing on the blanket.

She looked at Xiphos with a grin, "Definitely getting to him."

Xiphos shrugged and raised an eyebrow at her. “Should we leave them alone for a bit? Or interrupt them?” He smiled and kissed her gently on the cheek. “It’s your call Princess Growling Tummy.”

Calais looked at Xiphos as her tummy growled. "Being somewhat sensitive to such interruptions maybe we can leave them...

Oh..." Calais started to giggle softly as she spotted Lancelot going over to investigate the strange sounds that his favorite person was making.

Aeneas threaded his fingers into the fiery silk of her hair as he savored the reality of the fantasy he'd been daydreaming about all day. She tasted divine to him, mint and strawberries and something that was uniquely her. A low primal groan was pulled from him as he lost himself in the kiss.

Lost to the world around them and then there was a horse face in the middle of the kiss. Huffing softly, lipping at Sarissa's hair Lancelot stood over them investigating.

Sarissa pulled away from Aeneas abruptly, giggling at the interruption. “I think he’s jealous. He doesn’t like you kissing me.”

Xiphos and Calais approached and stacked the wood near the picnic basket. Calais patted Lancelot’s snout as Sarissa and Aeneas stood up. “Let’s get this picnic started. I’m getting hungry.”

Aeneas glared at Lancelot then led him over to one of the trees that the other horses were tied to and secured him there.

Calais dug in the basket and pulled the various goodies out and arranged them. She handed a bottle of the Chardonnay to Sarissa and grabbed one of the chicken salad sandwiches. Then grabbed another one and handed it to Xiphos.

Sarissa reached into the other side of the basket to fish out the wine key. A few moments later she popped the cork on the Chardonnay and filled four plastic cups about halfway. She passed a cup to Xiphos and Calais then stood up and walked over to hand Aeneas a cup. “What would you like to eat? We have cheese and crackers, some fruit and chicken salad sandwiches.” She grabbed his hand and led him back over to the blanket, settled then pulled him down next to her. She selected a couple of the apple slices, popping one in her mouth and feeding the other to Aeneas.

Aeneas nipped her finger and grinned looking in her eyes. "Delicious." He picked up a strawberry and offered it to Sarissa.

Calais swallowed the bite of her sandwich and sipped her wine as she looked at Xiphos. She knew if she looked at Sarissa she would burst out laughing.

Sarissa’s cheeks burned bright as she sensuously bit into the strawberry, holding Aeneas’ gaze. She tried to suppress a giggle as she ate the strawberry, but she broke her gaze with Aeneas and glanced at Calais. The girls locked eyes and burst into a fit of giggles.

Xiphos shot a questioning look at Aeneas. They both shrugged, clueless about what was so funny.

Aeneas poured everyone a bit more of the wine then lifted his cup. "I would like to make a toast."

As everyone lifted their cups Aeneas smiled at Sarissa. "To discoveries. And finding what's right in front of us." He clinked his cup with Sarissa and then Xiphos and Calais.

He took a sip and then leaned over and kissed Sarissa without hesitation.

Calais’ mouth dropped open and she stared for a moment before she shook her head and finished her wine. She leaned over to take her shoes off and then took Xiphos' shoes off before she got her guitar and went back over and sat down next to Xiphos. She started strumming a little. "Most of the songs we play are really old. We learned the basics from dad when we were little. And then we had lessons. But we just play for mom and dad most of the time and they like the old stuff." She started playing Never on Sunday.

Aeneas looked up at her and then went and got his guitar and joined her.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtkrekGL3jU

They handed the parts back and forth effortlessly and grinned at each other the whole time. Sarissa and Xiphos knew they were twins and yet had never seen them play together.

Sarissa scooted closer to her brother and leaned over to whisper in his ear. “They’re amazing, aren’t they?” He smiled and nodded in response, mesmerized as he watched Calais’ fingers fly across the strings.

“I knew Calais was a gifted artist, but I had no idea these two were so gifted musically.” He leaned closer to his sister and whispered, “Aeneas is really into you. I can tell you I’ve never seen him cut loose like this. He’s always been so serious and reserved.”

They sat in silence for a moment just listening. Sarissa elbowed her brother and grinned as she leaned in close to him. “I’ve never seen Calais so happy. She’s drunk in love with you.”

Calais started playing She's Always a Woman to Me and told Aeneas to sing. He smiled and then sang it to Sarissa. The velvety depth in his extraordinary voice made her wonder that she'd never heard him sing before.

Calais grinned afterwards and stood up taking her guitar off.

"I told Xiphos I'd show him the pool at the waterfall. Why don't you two get the fire started and we'll join you a bit later."

She held her hand out to Xiphos smiling at him.

Xiphos laced his fingers through Calais’ as they strolled down the same path they took earlier. “You play the guitar so beautifully. I am in awe of your talent. Is there anything you can’t do?” He brought her hand to his lips and brushed his lips across her knuckles.

Sarissa stood up and walked over to the pile of wood. Aeneas followed her. She raised an eyebrow at him. “I didn’t know you could play the guitar. Or sing. Your voice is beautiful.” She smiled at him sweetly as she picked up some of the wood and arranged it in a teepee shaped stack several feet away from their blankets. “We need to find something to use as tinder.” She looked around and spotted some dried seaweed further up the beach. “This should work fine.” She made a little nest out of the tinder and pulled a lighter out of the picnic basket. A few minutes later she looked at Aeneas with a triumphant smile. “We have fire.”

[peonybane]

My main groups

Oh boy. Thanks for the ask, I’ll try to go as in-depth as possible. Get ready for me to just fucking gush.

So I have two main groups: VIXX and BTS.

Please read below the break because this is long as hell. This is also a repost as Tumblr is a dumb dumb.

VIXX:

Voice, Visuals, Values in Excelsis (I know doesn’t make sense but that’s what the boys names themselves). They are the Concept Kings for a reason: Space Vampires, Voodoo Dolls, Cyborgs/Androids, Time, the Greek God trilogy, Perfumes, Duality (Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde) and so many others.

I consider myself to be a STARLIGHT in terms of kpop first before anything else other than just enjoying all of it. VIXX will always be my number one group because they helped me out of a really dark place in my life and because of that, I can’t really replace them with anyone else. With that being said, I look at them as if they are my older brothers, which makes looking at them in a sexual way almost impossible for me (despite one of the fancams later, I just think that fancam is so interesting). So I am very, very soft towards them. I almost cried at a concert for Ravi because I was so moved at being able to meet someone I very much look up to.

So even though I was technically introduced to kpop via either BigBang (with Fantastic Baby) or BTS (with DNA), it wasn’t until VIXX that I really got into them.

My first song with VIXX was Error. I had never seen anything like Error before and it fascinated me, I was really hooked by that video. My sister and I watched that video about… 20 times in a row. And I never looked back.

My bias is Ravi. For those who don’t: he is the Rapper of the group as well as one of the main dancers. He has a deep ass voice, he looks rather scary, but he is probably one of the purest human beings on the planet. He’s a workaholic, he’s the best dog dad, he’s a shy, sweet mess (he’s best friends with Jimin of BTS and Kai of EXO, if that don’t explain much, nothing will). I saw him in concert this past May and it was just… I was in awe. He’s very down to earth and tall as fuuuuuuuuck (all of them are, the shortest is 5′11). He recently left Jellyfish Entertainment (Jelpi) to start his own production agency, GROOVL1N. The most fascinating thing about this for me is that he left on good terms with Jelpi and is still part of VIXX. No entertainment company is perfect, but I think is pretty damn close. They give their artists artistic freedom, they protect their privacy fiercely (STARLIGHTS not particularly invasive, but no one really knows anything about their private lives), and they don’t force their artists to do things that would be bad for them (I can’t find the footage, but there have been instances where instead of telling Leo not to eat, they try to make him eat, I’ll talk about that more later). What Jelpi lacks is promoting and caring about international fans. I’m pretty sure that’s why Ravi left because even though they are on good terms, that is what Jelpi lacks and Ravi really makes the international STARLIGHTS (I mean they all do, but Ravi especially) feel like they are loved.

Favorite song is kinda hard. For Title Tracks, G.R.8.U., On and On, and Fantasy are definitely tied for first place. For non-title tracks, Trigger and Light Me Up (little bit of a cheat, this is one of my favorite performances and this the Rock version) fuck me up and get me hyped. My favorite Japanese Track is Depend on Me which is basically the exact opposite of Chained Up. Because they love their STARLIGHTS so much, they have a song dedicated to us on each album, so my favorite STARLIGHT song is Milky Way.

My bias wrecker (lord help me) is Hyuk. Hyuk is the maknae of the group. He started out of the pipsqueak of the group and now dominates his hyung. He clocks in at about 6′4 and is a fucking wall. He looks like a Samoyed. He’s got a lovely voice. He sounds like Onew of SHINee. He’s incredibly manly and is weird AF. He recently made his solo debut this last winter with the ballad, Boy with a Star.

So my favorite Era was… the Conception Era. This is sort of a cheat as it encompasses a concept trilogy. It’s based on three greek gods of masculine traits which tell a love story conceptually: Zelos (god of rivalry, zeal, and jealousy) with Dynamite, Hades (god of wealth, the afterlife, and desire) Fantasy, which I think is a retelling of the Orpheus myth, and finally Kratos (god of strength and rule) with the Closer. It’s just a beautiful interconnected era.

My favorite fancams…

This Chained Up Ravi Focus (gird your loins)

This “Manager Kim” Concert video

This “(Im)perfect Boyfriends to Order” Concert video

Hyukspatch

Toy Story Fantasy Performance (if you watch nothing else, watch this)

There’s certainly more but this is what came to mind immediately.

Little tidbits otherwise, I’ll never get to BTS:

Hongbin is my icon. He’s the visual of the group, the sub rapper, he’s a gamer (has his own twitch, don’t know how to get to it since I don’t have twitch), and he’s probably the most under appreciated. Enjoy his Cool Love collab with Hyungwon of Monsta X.

N, Mr. Cha Hakyeon, is the leader of the group and he’s your favorite whether or not you believe it to be. He is currently doing his military service. We all though we would not see or hear from while he’s doing his service… I see his face everyday on my dash and I love his egg head. He was in the Children of Nobody and he’s an amazing dancer.

Ken is the would be maknae of the group and I would say that’s he’s got not only the best voice in the group, but also the best eyebrows. He’s all about acting cutesy. He is a stage actor and is absolutely amazing. I want to see one of his plays one of these days.

Now, before you come for me with your pitchforks, I love all of them, just some of them piss me off more than others, but I wouldn’t get this mad if I didn’t care. Leo pisses me the hell off. He needs someone to take care of him because he’s sacrificing his mental and physical health to satisfy people who don’t actually care about him. At roughly 6 feet tall, he weighs between 130 to 145 pounds. He’s talked about some behavior that is incredibly unhealthy and it breaks my heart (he talked about how he once binge ate then worked out until he practically passed out). He’s talked about how he’s absolutely drained after a practice for his solo and… his choreography is incredibly simple. I hate that he feels like he has to be impossibly skinny for people to love him.

Moving on from the angry stuff, VIXX is one of the nation’s prides. The president of Korea is a known fan of VIXX and the last time I checked, N is STILL one of the promotional images on the president’s website.

If you have any questions for me about VIXX, please let me know and I’d love to talk about it.

BTS:

I’m going to be a little more brief with BTS, since the majority of people know them.

So as mentioned before my first song with BTS is DNA. It didn’t leave a big impression on me. It was simply something I’d play in the background while I was finishing up work for the evening at my old job. Dope is the song that really pulled me in. I don’t know what it is about it, but it just really pulled me in.

I am *sigh* double biased, something that @ropeseok​ has made me come to terms with. My ideal is Namjoon. I really like his voice, I think he’s adorable with his hard exterior and ooeygooey center. It also helps that he’s, well, kinda like me in that he’s a brain. My other bias is Taehyung. He is probably the more realistic type of person to me. I like the idea of Namjoon. But Tae… Tae is more of the person that I need. He’s very touchy, he’s emotional, he’s true, he’s sweet, a bit child like, he’s very intelligent, but keeps it on the down low. If that makes sense.

My favorite title track is Boy in Luv. I can listen to it forever. For non-title tracks it would be First Love, Magic Shop, and Persona. My favorite Japanese Track is Crystal Snow.

Since Tae had been my bias wrecker for a while, I don’t really think I have one BUT because of someone’s influence… probably Jin. Fine, I’ll admit it, I’m a Kim line heaux.

My favorite era…. it really depends on each boy. Like for Namjoon, I love the Danger and Not Today eras. For Jin, it would have to be, ironically enough, anytime of the early eras cuz he looks lovely as hell with eyeliner and I just think he’s got this hidden bad boy energy that was able to come out during this time. For Yoongi is would be MIC DROP. He was in his fucking element. Plain and simple. For Hoseok, it was Blood, Sweat, and Tears, BST was probably one of their best eras overall, but Hoseok just fucking made it his bitch. For Jimin it was BST as well but also any of the early eras. Like Jin, he’s got this hidden ferocity that I feel like is being kept hidden behind a closely guarded wall. I also just like his hair black and when he wasn’t necessarily starving himself. For Tae… Fake Love. I think he really found his element with the ballads like Singularity and darker themes, especially now that he’s all grown up and doesn’t look like a child. For Jungkook… Dope. There was something about the uniform and the energy that really just fit him.

I’m not going to do favorite famcams as the moment I start collecting videos, I’m going to be overwhelmed with different versions and this is already ridiculously long.

Tidbits:

I really like their darker works. I really wish they’d go back to those.

I don’t want anymore collaborations with Western artists. I think it would be really cool if they collabed with another Korean group or artist. I would like to see Jimin and Ravi work together. I think their different voices would work amazingly together.

I am probably the most similar to Jimin. Everyone’s who’s ever known me and knows Kpop often compares me to Jimin.

Yeontan, along with Ravi’s dog, Butt, are my fashion icons.

Once again, I love them all, but if I had to name my least favorites, it would have to be Jimin and Jungkook. Jimin because, he’s incredibly hard for me to write. I get extremely frustrated writing about him. I work best when there’s a certain amount of emotional/psychological distance between me and the person I’m writing about because then I can comfortably extrapolate. He and I are way too close, which makes it hard for me to really describe him as someone else if that makes sense. As for Jungkook, I have a very hard time understanding him. I know that a lot of people love mysterious people, but I find them to be incredibly frustrating. I think he’s incredibly talented and nice, but I’m frustrated by the fact that’s impossible for me to get an idea of what he’s like beyond that surface layer.

So that is that.

I hope you got your answer sweet Anon. I am so sorry that is was so freaking long.

-UwU~

250 followers ask game

[authorgirl1111]

Olympian Pain - Nemesis

Nemesis

 Nemesis could feel Piper’s anger, it was calling her begging for a release, the desire for vengeance was strong in Piper. Nemesis smiled as she ascended into Piper’s dream. Perfect, that witch had needed to be put down for months, and considering Apollo was about to be flayed and rendered a mere husk of what he was. (He already was a husk of what he was, him being mortal an all, but that’s beside the point.) Time was running short. Caligula with the power of two gods was not something Olympus needed. 

“Well as sweet as this is, you and I both know what she needs.” Nemesis said Aphrodite looked up her eyes widened at who she saw also inhabiting Piper’s dream.

Piper turned her head and when she saw the other person her eyes narrowed, Katoptris appeared in her hands. “You!” She hissed.

Aphrodite held Piper back. The woman who appeared smiled darkly. “I’m not the one you hate darling.” She laughed.

Piper stopped struggling and stared at her for a moment before she snarled. “Nemesis, what do you want.”

Nemesis raised an eyebrow. “You called to me, your anger drew me here.”

“Get out!” Piper hissed.

“I can give you, what you want.” Nemesis said. “I can help you achieve vengeance.”

Piper paused. “You-you’ll help me kill Caligula.”

“Piper-“ Aphrodite started.

“Do not interfere, Aphrodite, you have no place in this conversation.” Nemesis said. “As a child seeking vengeance she falls under my domain – you cannot interfere,” Nemesis told Aphrodite staring at her coldly.

“She’s my-”

“Mother go,” Piper said.

“Piper-”

“GO! You do not get to come now after all you’ve done and give me comfort, I want you gone.” Nemesis watched amused as Piper pulled a knife on Aphrodite. “Go.”

For a moment Aphrodite stared at Piper before she slowly pulled the knife out of Pipers hand. She stood walked past Piper and stared at Nemesis.

“I’ll go” Aphrodite said, then she pulled out her own knife and pointed it at Nemesis. “But know this Nemesis, if my daughter ends up worse for wear because of this, there will be no place on earth you will hide from.”

Nemesis wanted to laugh. What could Aphrodite do to her? She was the goddess of Vengeance, Aphrodite was a love goddess. What power could Aphrodite hold over her?

Then Nemesis was taken by surprise as Aphrodite stabbed Nemesis in the shoulder. “I am the eldest Olympian, I am the consort of Ares god of war. Love is my domain, and if you wish to have control over the next monster you love, my daughter will survive.” For even better measure Aphrodite twisted the knife in Nemesis’s shoulder. Golden ichor flowed heavily from Nemesis’s body and Nemesis fell to the floor.

Apart of Nemesis was surprised and kind of thrilled. She was unaware that Aphrodite had this in her, Though It was quickly overshadowed by her anger.

“You will regret this.” Nemesis said. She was the goddess of revenge she couldn’t let a slight like this go unpunished.

“As will you,” Aphrodite said coldly. She turned to Piper and blew her a kiss. “Good luck Piper, may Tyche be with you.” She said before leaving.

Nemesis ripped the blade out of her shoulder and gasped. “Tartarus, I didn’t know she had it in her.” She said with a gasp. The wound healed over immediately.

Piper just stared wide-eyed. Nemesis grinned. “You want revenge, don’t you?”

Piper looked worried. “She…”

Nemesis shook her head, she couldn’t let Piper get distracted, not now. “Never mind about me, if you want this done you’ll have to leave soon. Otherwise, your window will be closed forever.”

Piper looked down. “What’s the point? I don’t even know where Caligula is?”

“Caligula is not the one you need to kill.”

Piper looked at her wide-eyed. “What?”

Nemesis was getting impatient they were wasting time. “Look Caligula’s fate is already pre-determined, unfortunately only one person can take him to his grave.”

Piper looked confused. “Then what…?”

“Caligula wants to be the new sun god, only one person can make that happen. Or more accurately is willing to make that happen, you kill her Caligula doesn’t get that power.”

Piper bowed her head. Nemesis continued talking.

“Who had your boyfriend trapped in the Venti? Who caused you no end of strife since she convinced Leo and Jason to fight each other over a year ago, who tried to kill you in the Labyrinth? Had it not been for Medea your Jason would have won that fight and would have been able to get away. She’s not meant to be alive right now, and because Medea escaped the underworld the man you love is dead.”

Piper looked down while Nemesis waited. Her head bowed and she said nothing. For a moment Nemesis was worried that Piper would say no and that they would waste more time getting her to go kill Medea. Then Piper raised her head her glare dark and angry. “I’ll do it, that woman won’t hurt anyone else.”

Nemesis smiled slowly. Finally. “Then what are you waiting for? Get going.”

Nemesis snapped her fingers and Piper woke.

Nemesis watched as Piper clasped her knife tightly. She dressed quietly and efficiently snuck out of the house. Nemesis almost laughed when she ‘borrowed’ a car and drove as fast as she could into the burning maze.

When Piper’s knife was plunged into Medea’s heart, Nemesis wasn’t ashamed to admit that she laughed.

How’d you like this?