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#french writer
cutedollieface · 5 months
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Being alone (Digital Circus Jax x ragitha fanfic)
Most days at the digital Circus played out mostly the same. Wake up, rehearsals, go on some wacky adventure, rehearsal again, and talk and sleep or morn your past life. That's what everyone often did, but today was different.
To start, when everyone woke up for rehearsals for the theme song, Caine was nowhere to be seen. Everyone did line up and ate breakfast, and the bubble was there but refused to say where Caine was. So everyone went their own ways.
Everyone loved to have alone time, all except Ragitha.
Ragitha hates being alone. It's not often that you are ever alone in the digital circus, so when she heard that there was nothing to do, she was scared. She hated being alone.
Being alone in Ragitha was actually one of her biggest fears that she kept secret. She kept this a secret because of what could happen if anyone found out, like if Jax found out he probably would lock her in her room, or if Caine finds out he could play some sick game.  She was terrified to be alone for many reasons, for one being alone to her feels like someone is always behind her, but she could never see them. It could also be the fact that when she's alone, she fears she will go insane and be abustracted. However, what she feared the most is that no one liked her or would forget about her easily. No one would go looking for her if something were to happen to her if she was alone and no one would care, As if she was an actual old doll that people could toss in the closet and forget about.
Ragitha didn't want that. She understood if no one loved her or liked her, but she wanted to at least know that someone at least cares enough for her to think about her. She felt there was more to this fear, but she couldn't remember why it was. However, she knows she just feels happier and safer with people. So that's what she does. She goes to look for them.
Ragitha roams the halls and looks around. She sees pomni and goes up to her to try and see if she's willing to do anything with her. She felt scared.
Sadly, Pomni was busy. She was getting still getting used to the tent and was looking around the rooms. Ragitha offered to come along, but Pomni was still scared and preferred to be alone.
Ragitha sighed but kept her head up. Maybe Zooble or Gangle would want to talk or help her make something! She smiled and came up to the table that Zooble and Kinger were sitting at. Ragitha skips and stands next to them.
"Hiya guys, what ya up too?" Ragitha asks, standing straight and rocking on her feet nervously. Zooble lifts an eyebrow at her nervous appearance but shrugs and rolls her eyes.
Kinger yawns and lays his head on the table and says kindly, "Ah, nothing much, me and Zooble were just planning on sleeping. Do you wanna join?" Kinger offers before falling asleep instantly. Zooble rolls her eyes.
"Yeah, no, I said I will be sleeping in my room. You're welcome to sleep at the table with Kinger. I'll be in my room, don't bother me." Zooble sarcastically remarks before walking away. Ragitha sighs. She doesn't want to disturb Kinger in his moment of rest.
She walks around an anxious pit building in her stomach from being alone so far. She looks around, trying to find Gangle next. She spends maybe the better part of an hour before she sees Gangle retiring to her room as well.
Ragitha is now really starting to freak out. She bites her lip and hopes that she could find anyone, anyone at this point to just sit with. Jax seems to be nowhere in sight, and everyone is on their own personal time. She doesn't want to disturb them, though, so she continues walking around, hoping that anyone would stop and talk to her
She is wandering around for a few hours, and it starts to get dark out. Everyone has retired to their rooms, and she is heading back to her room as well. Ragitha plays with her hair as she wonders the hall, scared shitless now that it's Night.
She opens her bedroom door and immediately turns on all lights. In her room, she had about ten plushes scarred across everywhere. Something about her plushies made her less scared, but it could never beat the real thing of having someone there.
Ragitha sits on her bed and begins to get ready for bed, shaking. She puts on a night gown and comes her hair and takes her bow off, and lays in her bed.
"Come on, Ragitha, you're fine. Nothing is going to happen. you're okay." Ragitha rolls herself as she turns over and hugs a  plush. Her eyes dart around the room, and she shakes in fear.
Everything always seems more scary at night. She tosses and turns and puts the pillow over her head, but that just makes her more scared. Eventually, she is breathing heavily and clutching onto the bedsheets. Ragitha closes her eyes and tries to take a deep breath.
After a few moments and turning on all the lights in her room and putting a record on, she finally calms herself down and laughs a bit at herself for being so scared.
Ragitha finnally keeps her fear at bau for the moment, starts to drift off into sleep.
-
Ragitha wakes up, but she feels if something is off. She gets up and gets dressed but realizes it's till night.  "That's strange. The clock says it's 7 a.m., it should be morning, and everyone should be awake by now." She says to herself before getting up and getting dressed.
She walks the halls of the tent but notices that the walls are all dark and gloomy with writings on the wall. She feels goosebumps trail across her cloth body and that same fear of being alone again wash over her. She shakes her head.
"No, no, calm yourself, Ragitha. They are probably still sleeping! Yeah." She muttered to herself before walking around. She felt terrified again, this time alot lot worse. Every time she turned a corner, she would see a shadow run away from her. She starts to get more panic as time passes and notices the tent to start falling apart with each lap she makes around the tent.
Ragitha starts to get desperate and rubs and knocks on the doors. She knocks on kingers, no response. Zooble, no response. It's the same thing for Pomni and Gangle. Ragitha is breathing heavily now and runs to Jaxs door.
"Jax? Jax! Please tell me you are in there? Please be in there." She says softly, knocking on his door. After a few minutes with no response, she sighs and begins to jiggle the handle to her surprise. It works. She opens the door and gasps.
There's nothing in the room at all. It's just a black void she stepped into. Jax is nowhere to be seen, and now is when Ragitha realizes everyone left. Everyone is gone but her. She starts panting and shaking her head in disbelief, "No, that can't be true! They would never lea -" as she mumbles to herself, walking out of the door, she feels some pair of hands pull her back into the room.
Ragitha is kicking, screaming, and crying as the finger holds her. Then she starts hearing all these voices, and they yell and scream at her.
"They all forgot you," "You're all alone now."You're going to be alone forever."Scream, no one can hear you.' "No one cares." The words repeat for hours, days, weeks, months and years as ragitha cries and screams for help, but no one hears her.
Maybe the voices are right. No one really does care.
-
Jax is awoken by Pomni knocking on his door, her shaky voice sounding terrified. Jax rolls his eyes and groans in annoyance before getting up and grooms himself before walking out into the main dining hall. He sits at the table as Zooble, pomni, kinger, and Gangle sit at the breakfast table. Then he realizes someone's missing.
Jax blinks, realizing that Ragitha wasn't the one to wake him up this morning or was she the first awake. She nornally always was. He suddenly sits up in his Seat and turns to the others, "Hey, where is dolly at?" He asks pointing to her empty seat. Zooble shrugs, "don't know, surprised she didn't wake up though," she says eating her food, Pomni was sitting staring off into space and Jax snaps his fingers to get her attention.
"Hey, did you wake up Ragitha yet?" He asks and pomni takes a moment before shaking her head, "No, Caine only told me to wake you up, why you ask?" She says softly before going back to eating and kinger raises his brow, "Yeah Jax, why do you ask?"
Jax rolls his eyes and gets up, "Because I need my prank victim inless one of you want to take Rags place?" Everyone immediately shakes their head and he laughs before making his way down thw hallway.
Jax as he walks down the hall starts to hear noises. He hears an old record playing but then something else. Jax starts to walk a little faster and then he hears the Strange noise and record player coming from Ragithas room.
He blinds and knocks on the door, "Hey, you up in there? Come on Ragdoll, enough beauty sleep!" He says and knocks a few times but no answer. He feels a tiny bit of worry rise up and he grabs the key to her room and unlocks it.
"I'm coming in, so if you don't want me too you better have something to say in one, two, three.." Jaxs opens the door slowly and comes into her room. He notices right away that she has at least several lamps on and the record is playing on full blast.
He walks towards her bed and hears that noise again, he realizes it's crying. He blinks and turns off her record player and hears her sobbing underneath the covers.
This is new to him because, as long as he had been here he has never seen Ragitha cry before. Sure, his seen her sad but never to the point of tears.
He gently lifts the overs over her head down and whispers, "Ragitha?" He sees her eyes are closed tightly and her mumbling things he can't quite make out. He wasn't the type of person to comfort because he didn't really know how to but he was worried. He grabs ragitha by her shoulders and lifts her up a little so she's sitting and his shaking her shoulder a bit calling out her name.
"Ragitha, cone on wake up. It's a nightmare, come on dollface.." He calls out to her and sees her face start twitching, showing that she's waking up.
Finnally, after a few moments she opens her eyes and stares up at Jax looking scared when suddenly she blinks, "...Jax? You're here..! You didn't leave..your here.." She suddenly smiles brightly and hugs him.
Jax froze up and his ears shot up in alarm. This was so strange. Never had Ragitha ever done this and he hated hugs but something inside him told him that she was his freind. He looks at ragitha and slowly puts his arms around her like he's never gotten a hug in his life. He pats her back and then after awhile he hears her cry again. he looks down and she's her face hidden in his shoulder muttering out apologies that he can't quite make out. Jax suddenly hugs her tightly back and pats her back.
"Calm yourself, dolly, it was only a nighmare..what happened?" He pulls away and she wipes her tears before looking around her room and moving a fair distance away from him, a pink blush aginst her cheeks due to embarwssment. She played with her hands nervously.
She took a deep intake of air before letting it go and sighing. "If i tell you you cannot do any pranks on me based on this," she says looking at him angerly. He shrugs and smirks before looking back at her, "No promises, toots. Now what's up, cause I am not good at these things." Ragitha giggled a bit, "I can tell."
Ragitha bites her lip and thinks for a bit before sighing out, "I have a fear of being alone, don't ask why because I don't even know, I just, had a nighmare all of you guys left me and forgot about me, thats all" Ragitha says feeling rather silly for saying it out loud.
It's been a few seconds and Ragitha starts to get worried and nervously looks up at him just to suddenly find him patting her back. She hummed in surprise.
"Listen dollface, I may not be good at these things but know its not stupid to fear that and know I could never forget you," she smiles wondering what he meant before he gives her that devilish grin, "your to annoying to forget."
She sighs and rolls her eyes and gets out of bed, "alright, now I had enough of you, get out of my room for a minute while I change!" Ragitha says giggling and he chuckles and closes thw door behind him. He waits for her outside her door so she isn't scared and walks back with her to the breakfast table, Caine is back and forcing them to be ready but Jax after finding out what she's scared of would never leave her side.
That day Jax spent most of his time with Ragitha making sure shes alright and in general messing around with her. He felt something stir in his chest but pushed it away as he sat with Ragitha.
Maybe this was a start of a very beautiful friendship.
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hornyforpoetry · 2 months
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Greetings, my academics!
I just celebrated my 24th birthday and I wanted to show you all my cake. I just loved it!
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embeccy · 2 months
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"Are you in love with me in solitude, with possessiveness?"
- Albert Camus
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lepetitdragonvert · 1 year
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Bee, the Princess of the Dwarfs by Anatole France retold in english by Peter Wright
Artist : Charles Robinson
1920
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The literal meaning of life is whatever you're doing that prevents you from killing yourself.
Albert Camus, Source Unlisted.
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persephonediary · 1 year
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My whole being calls for an act of violence, but I still use velvet gloves.
Anaïs Nin, The Unexpurgated Diary; 1939-1947
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Le Plaisir du Texte, R. Barthes, 1973
[The text is a fetish object and this fetish desires me. The text chooses me, through a whole arrangement of invisible screens, of selective chicanes: vocabulary, references, readability, etc.; and, lost in the middle of the text (not behind it like a machine god), there is always the other, the author.]
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French writer Lucien Daudet lover of writer Marcel Proust
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givreencres · 3 days
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"time to time, what we need it's not the feeling or the thought, it's something more simple...
It's simply the energy of the body, the movement, the rythm that guides us, who make our brain off.
It's feeling our body free and powerful"
From ongoing writing novella
© Givre Encre
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luma-az · 7 months
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Des milliers de bouteilles à la mer
Défi d’écriture 30 jours pour écrire, 30 août 
Thème : au revoir/écrire
. .
Chaque jour, elle allait jeter une bouteille à la mer. Une bouteille en verre, soigneusement scellée, contenant une feuille de papier chargée de mots.
Personne n’était censé les lire.
Ecrire, pour elle, c’était une décharge. Un moyen de se défouler, de se sortir de la tête des idées qui y trainaient trop, des pensées qui sentaient le rance, des rancunes et des regrets. C’était aussi un moyen de parler sans être interrompue. Et même si au final elle les destinait au grand large, elle se sentait écoutée, en écrivant ses messages, comme jamais elle ne l’était dans sa vie de tous les jours.
Au quotidien, c’était une gentille fille. Toujours positive. Toujours prête à aider. Un soutien, une oreille, une main secourable, un pilier.
Et elle aimait ça. Elle n’avait pas envie de le gâcher. Elle parlait, oui, et elle était même sincère, parfois. Mais elle ne disait jamais tout. Le reste, elle le gardait pour elle, dans un coin de sa tête, au fond de son cœur, elle le ruminait, le ressassait, avant de le régurgiter sur la feuille. L’acte d’écrire lui a toujours paru salutaire, jamais élégant. Peu importe. Les vagues ne s’en sont jamais plaintes.
Aujourd’hui, elle n’a écrit que deux mots sur sa feuille : Au revoir.
Je sais que personne n’était censé lire. Sauf que depuis tout ce temps, moi j’ai lu. Et j’hésite. J’angoisse. Que faire ? En réalité, je n’ai aucune idée de ce qu’elle compte faire, de ce que veulent vraiment dire ces mots. Sauf qu’au fond de moi, après avoir dévoré tous ses messages, je sais très bien ce qu’ils veulent dire. Je sais ce que voulait dire le geste, depuis le début, de jeter une bouteille à la mer. Ça a toujours été un appel à l’aide désespéré.
Ça me terrifie, mais j’ai pris ma décision. Tant pis pour elle, je suis trop inquiet pour ne pas m’en mêler.
Par contre, me rencontrer risque de lui faire un sacré choc.
.
.
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🇬🇧from🇲🇫I'm not writing this for nothing, I'm not posting this for nothing, if you're here for the same reasons I'm doing this...you know what to do if you feel the need...so let's talk. As fast as you can. I don't know who you are or how to contact you. But you can find out easily. I do everything for that. Until I do everything for you. In the meantime make yourself known and unique. That's the only reason for this message, you're the only reason I'm here ... thank you for reading me, thank you for trying to find me now that you know where I am, and for answering me so insistently that I'm afraid to miss you. I won't miss our love 💘 if we ever get there... if this one isn't us I wish you the same with someone else...
ℹ️ For the record I am zebra🦓, high potential, hpi hpe hpc, and last I heard maybe ADHD, in any case hypersensitive 😔and this is my strength💥, my pride💫 with which I will help you and understand you as a person 🥲! I have some "dys" too...find out what it is before you get scared. It's not unbelievable, no one has ever been full of it...it's just a simple difference. To live it is sûrement🤷🏼‍♂️ ..but it's the life🥹 of a 🦓un peu👽🤪🦤❤️‍🩹...anyway it's the Life of 🦓👨🏼‍🎨🌜 and that's me.
🇨🇵Je n'écris pas là pour rien, je ne post pas ça pour rien, si tu est là pour les mêmes raisons que je fais tout ça...tu sais ce qu'il y a à faire si tu en éprouve les raisons...alors parlons. Aussi vite que bien. Je ne sais pas qui tu es ni comment te contacter. Parcontre toi tu peux le savoir facilement. Je fais tout pour ça. En attendant de faire tout pour toi. En attendant fais toi connaître et rens toi unique. C'est la seule raison de ce message, tu es la seule raison de ma présence ici ... merci de m'avoir lu, merci de chercher à me trouver maintenant que tu sais où je suis, et de me répondre avec autant d'insistance que j'ai peur de te rater. Je ne raterai notre amour 💘 si on y arrive un jour... si ce on n'est pas nous je te souhaite la même chose avec quelqu'un d'autre...
ℹ️ Pour information je suis zèbre🦓, haut potentiel, hpi hpe hpc, et aux dernières nouvelles peut-être ADHD, en tout cas hypersensible 😔et c'est ma force💥, ma fierté💫 avec laquelle je t'aiderai et te comprendrais comme personne 🥲! J'ai aussi certains "dys"...renseigne toi sur ce que c'est avant d'avoir peur. Ça n'a rien d'incroyable, personne ne s'en est jamais plein...c'est juste une simple différence. À vivre ça l'est sûrement🤷🏼‍♂️ ..mais c'est la vie🥹 d'un 🦓un peu👽🤪🦤❤️‍🩹...en tout cas c'est la Vie de 🦓👨🏼‍🎨🌜 et c'est moi.
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malonesilence · 4 months
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Quelques éléments du tome 2 de Stanley n'est pas mort, Les Pleurs du Vide.
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Tourbillons (jour 13)
C'était la fin avant alors même que ça commençait. Le monde continuait de tourner tout autour de moi et j'abandonnais le jour, me contentant de ces soirs sans lune. Eveillée malgré moi et m'assommant de mes peines afin de veiller jusqu'à l'aube, j'apprivoisais la nuit jusqu'à ne faire plus qu'un avec elle. Faisant en sortes de sortir lorsque le soleil se couchait et de libérer le peu de vie qu'il restait en moi lorsque tous les regards étaient ailleurs. Cherchant un endroit où les étoiles étaient suffisamment visibles, je m'allongeais dans l'herbe, à l'écart de la ville. En oubliant que la Terre me portait, je me retrouvais perdue dans cet infini ciel étoilé. Persuadée d'être l'une d'entre elles, je me demandais ce que je faisais ici. Pourquoi devais-je être condamnée à vivre ici, alors qu'elles avaient le privilège d'être celles dont les rêveurs rêvent et que les astronomes admirent ? Moi, personne ne me regardait comme je pouvais les observer elles. Mais celle que j'aimais le plus était la lune, particulièrement lorsqu'elle était pleine. Astre féminin qui illumine le monde lorsque la nuit tombe. Le son de l'eau près de l'herbe brûlée par la sécheresse m'apaisait et me rappelait ma solitude. Sauf que celle-ci était délibérée. La seule que j'arrivais encore à tolérer. Et lorsque je fermais les yeux, j'écoutais la nature. Je me sentais en sécurité quelques secondes, avant de songer à ce qui me faisait le plus peur. La nature ne m'effrayait pas. Ce sont les Hommes qui me terrifient. Alors, perdue dans mes pensées mais totalement libre de corps, je ressentais en moi comme une envolée de tourbillons qui faisaient frapper mon sang contre mes veines et mon coeur contre ma cage thoracique. Mouvement de panique à l'intérieur de mon organisme et envie de me relever pour sauter dans l'eau, me laisser face au danger et seule au milieu de nulle part. Parce que même lorsque ce lieu était peuplé, je savais que je pouvais me noyer sans que personne ne le remarque. Sans que personne ne me voit. Alors, peut-être valait-il mieux ne pas leur offrir ce spectacle et me laisser tester mes propres limites. Quelle est la limite entre la Terre, l'eau qui m'en sépare et le ciel ? Car même si je pense que le feu ne peut pas m'atteindre d'où je suis, il brûle plus que jamais en moi. Il me consume. Car je pourrais mourir, où que je sois.
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Writing |
(This text is in french but the english translation follows. Obviously, the translation isn’t here to be beautiful but for you to understand what my words means. this text is wlw, as i know it's less clear in english than in french)
Ma peine, mon démon, ma sirène,
J'ai tant rêvé de toi qu'il est indécent de le dire. J'ai tant rêvé de toi que la nuit connaît à présent tes yeux mieux que je ne le fais, tant rêvé de toi que souvent, je l'admets, mes rêves continuaient au soleil, illusions douloureuses dansant sous l'astre du jour.
J'ai tant rêvé de toi que j'en ai oublié de te haïr, perdue dans l'éclat de ces brumes où ton démon n'est plus. Tant rêvé de toi que sûrement, peut-être, ta vision serait étrangère à mes pupilles exposées ; ou peut-être, sans doute, brûlerait mes joues jusqu'à la naissance du flot de mes larmes.
J'ai tant rêvé de toi que ta présence en devenait tangible, comme une ombre qui ne me quittait jamais, tant rêvé de toi qu'en m'éveillant, je te croyais presque étendue à mes côtés, plus douce que tu ne l'as jamais été et n'es probablement capable de l'être ; tant rêvé de toi qu'il me semblait étrange que d'autres ne te voient pas, ni dans leurs jours ni dans leurs nuit, et soient libres de toute trace de ton image.
J'ai tant rêvé de toi, je crois, que je m'accrochais à ces rêves, moi et ma mémoire si courte, comme par peur de te laisser partir, de t'oublier ; tant rêvé de toi que je brûlais de tout te dire, au lieu de te laisser filer. J'ai tant rêvé de toi que je craignais de fermer les yeux autant que de les ouvrir, que je souhaitais rêver à chaque minute comme ne plus rêver du tout.
J'ai tant rêvé de toi, c'est vrai, qu'il m'arrive d'oublier que tu n'es pas qu'un rêve; que quelque part, foulant la même Terre, respirant le même air - infime proximité ! tu existes bel et bien, être de chair et d'os, riant et vivant, plus réel à présent pour d'inconnus que pour moi.
J'ai tant rêvé de toi, il me semble, que tu t'effaçais peu à peu de tout autre aspect de ma vie, de toute autre partie de moi. Tant rêvé de toi que je finissais par me demander si je ne t'avais pas inventée, reine cruelle qui m'infligea tant de maux, pour me sentir plus désirée que je ne l'étais, car il faut aimer quelqu'un si fort pour l'avoir à ce point meurtrie. J'ai tant rêvé de toi que je te confondais avec mes nombreuses fantaisies, tant rêvé de toi que tu perdais ta réalité.
J'ai tant rêvé de toi que c'est ce que tu es à présent, rien d'autre qu'un rêve, moins consistant qu'un souvenir, à peine plus lourd qu'une pensée, sorcière dont la trace quitte peu à peu mon cœur pour ne devenir, en fin de compte, que l'amère et si fine cicatrine d'une blessure passée.
Ma peine, ma sirène, mon démon,
J'ai tant rêvé de toi, à présent, que j'en oublie presque ton nom, et ne me souviens plus que de la haine qu'il m'inspire.
[My pain, my demon, my mermaid,
I dreamed of you so much that it is indecent to say so. I dreamed of you so much that the night now knows your eyes better than I do, dreamed of you so much that often, I admit, my dreams continued in the sun, painful illusions dancing under the star of the day.
I dreamed of you so much that I forgot to hate you, lost in the brilliance of these mists where your demon is no longer. Dreamed of you so much that surely, perhaps, your vision would be foreign to my exposed pupils; or maybe, no doubt, would burn my cheeks until the flood of my tears started.
I dreamed of you so much that your presence became tangible, like a shadow that never left me, dreamed of you so much that when I woke up, I thought you were lying by my side, softer than you never was and probably never can be; I dreamed of you so much that it seemed strange to me that others did not see you, neither in their days nor in their nights, and were free from any trace of your image.
I dreamed of you so much, I believe, that I clung to these dreams, with my memory so short, as if out of fear of letting you go, of forgetting you; dreamed of you so much that I was burning to tell you everything, instead of letting you slip away. I dreamed of you so much that I was afraid to close my eyes as much as to open them, that I wanted to dream every minute like to not dream at all.
I dreamed of you so much, it's true, that I sometimes forget that you're not just a dream; that somewhere, treading the same Earth, breathing the same air - tiny proximity! you do exist, a being of flesh and bones, laughing and alive, more real now for strangers than for me.
I dreamed of you so much, it seems to me, that you gradually faded away from every other aspect of my life, from every other part of me. Dreamed of you so much that I ended up wondering if I hadn't invented you, cruel queen who inflicted so much pain on me, to feel more wanted than I was, because you have to love someone so much to have hurt her so badly. I dreamed of you so much that I confused you with my many fantasies, dreamed of you so much that you lost your reality.
I dreamed of you so much that it's what you are now, nothing but a dream, less solid than a memory, barely heavier than a thought, witch whose trace gradually leaves my heart to become, in the end, only the bitter and so fine scar of a past wound.
My pain, my mermaid, my demon,
I dreamed of you so much now that I almost forget your name, and only remember the hatred it inspires in me.
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Every word has consequences. Every silence, too.
Jean-Paul Sartre, Source Unlisted.
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samiaoz · 20 days
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Some of you asked for the translation
Of my previous French writing it was sudden I wasn’t thinking I was just sad .
You kneeling in front of me now seating on your bed. I moan continuing to cry. You took me by my feet resting them on your shoulders. Your hands caressing me from my ankle to my thighs. While taking off my panties with a push , you kissed me. Your lips paused begging me to open my lips to slide your tongue, brushing mine to dance.
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