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#fricked up friendships
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*in a terrible brooklyn accent* click the link if you dare i need to ramble rant and rave like a woman driven to the brink of insanity
i know i didn't deserve the way they treated me. i know i didn't deserve it. i know it inside and out. but my heart hasn't learned. my brain can't do it. all i think when i look someone in the eyes is "shit what if it all ends up awful again" over and over and over. every interaction i have is stilted because of the way they treated me. every last one of them hurt me in some way. every last one of them damaged some part of my heart.
the first one told me i was too happy and now i worry about being too positive and driving everyone away. he took my love and smiled as he crumbled it into dust. he held my hand and he smiled at me and then it must not have mattered quite enough.
the second one didn't give me real reasons, just fake ones, accusations that he'd never brought up before, something i thought was a joke that he decided was splitting grounds. he laughed when i cried in front of him.
the third one didn't care. she was my best friend for years and then one day decided that i wasn't worth bothering with. i guess i should have expected that when she dated my ex less than two weeks after we broke up. when she spread rumors about me around like butter i wasn't surprised but stars did it hurt. her little brother asked if i'd abused my ex, and i think i should have expected all the problems she brought with her.
the fourth one joined in, after i'd lost friendships defending her, lost love because she'd told me that our friendship was doomed anyways, didn't hang out with me without someone else around and still let me think she was my best friend. she never understood why i couldn't be around him, never understood why i didn't like being a third wheel when all she ever did was stare into her boyfriend's eyes.
the fifth one hurt the most. because he didn't do anything at all. he never did anything. he just never asked if i was okay. and maybe i'd have survived that if he hadn't been my closest, truest friend. maybe i'd have been okay if he hadn't been my brother in everything but name. maybe i'd have been okay if the sight of him doesn't make me want to throw my arms around him and ask him how he's doing and if he cared and why he never stood up for me when i'd never have let anyone say that shit about him.
and now every single time i look at someone new i just see it, over and over, replaying like a broken record.
my mom says someday i'll forget all about them.
my mom says that someday they'll be so far in the past i'll laugh to think how worked up i got over them.
i hope she's right. i hope i never have to think about how my old friends are out in the world. i hope i never have to look my old boyfriends in the eyes. i hope i never have to smile at my oldest closest fondest friends.
i dont know why it's not fading. feels like a raw wound, with a rope, dragged back and forth over my skin.
am i sitting in my pain, am i trying to stay where it hurts?
am i frozen, stuck?
am i too weak, too small, too tired to keep fighting?
should i get over myself and go demand that my old friend explain? Should I ask the question that's always on the tip of my tongue?
Why wasn't I worth it to you?
would that solve the problems or would that make it worse?
would that make me cry or make me free? would that save me or ruin me? would i live or would i die?
would i be able to smile when this nice friend of mine comes and sits with me at the cafeteria? would i be able to hold a conversation with the guy i like? would this solve my problems or make them worse?
I feel like the line I'm walking is straight through health and brokenness and I'm tottering from one side to another and I want to let it all dissappear into the past but I can't figure out how to stop it from happening.
I can't figure out how on earth to solve the problems.
Usually I'd say that I need therapy.
But I still haven't picked up the phone to call the office. Because what do you say?
Hi, can I speak to your least terrifying therapist who knows about fucked up friendships and relationships and anxiety and like, emotional issues and burnt out gifted kid shit and problems and problems and problems?
Sounds foolish but that's all i have to say.
hi, can you help me?
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pixlokita · 2 years
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Me: -acts affectionately-
Me: ….. but they know I don’t mean it romantically, right???
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brynn-lear · 3 months
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I never got too deep into enstars but there are days where I miss Mama 😔
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#no one should ever be surprised that I main Boothill >:( /silly#yeehaw partner /jjjjjjjjj#i also like eichi for the aesthetic. he's like if you mix dain's face and ayato's mindset. actual warcriminal emperor-#and i think in terms of singing kaito slays 🔥🔥🔥🔥 I'm sorry.#actually in terms of songs in general imho it's valkyrie and akatsuki HAHAHAH#then idk i think i vibe with most undead songs though i wish there were like valentine eve's nightmare-#PERFECTLY-IMPERFECT 🔥🔥🔥🔥#fORBIDDEN RAIN- okay ill#stfu abt undead songs HAHAH#me typing these tags just slowly but surely reminds me I actually very much enjoy adonis' voice#in terms of trauma I think I got it most from Eden songs HAHAHAHHA the fricking apocalypse dance shit i forgot name but THAT#i love how i went “oh i like undead too but not as much i guess” and then proceeded to talk about undead songs more than akatsuki#and valkyrie HAHAHAHHA I'm a fricking liar#HEY HEY i mostly like valkyrie cuz shu's voice is mesmerizing- and every song in akatsuki slays because of their vocals even if I'm not th#e biggest fan of their genre leave me alone my biggest taste in men depends on their voice 😭😭😭😭😭#though in terms of friendship MaM/DoubleFace CrazyB and alkaloid for sure we'd be friends absolutely-#i played the music!! one not the original and nothing got me as hyped in the story as the fricking crazy roulette HAHAHAHA#GOT ME FEELIN LIKE I WAS IN THE CONCERT#never be a loooooSAAAAAUURRRRR *breakdances*#kiss of life is also mwah they're all my children. i know nothing on properly playing this game but i know i tried to main the christian guy#produce? forgot name but HIM I also love his voice and I have one of his priest card so he fricking dances with the priest uniform HAHAHAH#random confession: i don't have a 5 star mama card. orz.#anyways back to regular chaos in the tags omg aira i remember him what a mood and also the phantom oh frick forgot his name but i have his#sanrio card HAHAHHA 😭😭 i haven't leveled it up. i don't play this religiously-#the grind feels so overwhelming and i understand nothing I'm still on the work task 2 thing HAHHAA 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#most importantly i want to mention my redhead son i forgot his name but i love him very much my pretty son and his chaotic older bro i#support them both amen#as for fine. i don't really like most their songs that much...? okay this time I'm not lying like with Undead HAHAHAH I do vibe with#tempest nights for SURE absolute bop my dear blue haired clown is my fave fine member (as you can tell i love my loud girlies HAHAHHA)#most knight songs are bops and I like all the members- specially mister ensemble stRaws musiC (my other red haired son)
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apologies for all of the boys in the boat stuff that is about to hit your dash. i rewatched the movie and i am Going Through It.
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in my head I'm just screaming at my sister STOP GETTING ON MY CASE ABOUT THE THEATRE BOY all the time
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unsurebazookacore · 11 months
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OMG REY ITS SUNDAY I FORGOT ITS SUNDAY ARE YOU SO FUCKING EXCITED FOR THE MOVIE???????
DUDE EXCITED IS AN UNDERSTAMEMENT I WOKE UP AT 4 AM AND LITERALLY ALMOST FELL OUT OF BED TRYING TO FIND MY PHONE AND ASK MY FRIEND THE PICK UP TIME IM GOING INSANEEEEE
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sometimes i think about my mutuals. and then. i want to hug them.
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I have had so many "best friends" over the years, and none of them have ever quieted the voice that tells me that everyone always leaves me. because it's right - either I've left because I was getting hurt or they left usually for reasons out of my control.
BUT SOME RANDOM CANADIAN IN MY PHONE IS THE ONE I'VE NEVER DOUBTED?!?!?!
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algae-tm · 10 days
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LOVE STORY
Max Verstappen x Author!Reader
Author’s Note: IM BACK!! To put things into perspective, I started this smau when Alex’s insta was still private! Tbh I started writing it cause I like love her, I can’t call her mother cause she’s like a month older than me, but that’s cousin right there. Anyways sorry for the hiatus i was spiralling due to a man 😔😔 it happens to the baddest bitches, and also sort of writers block so pls give me requests! But to make up for the fact that I’ve been gone, this fic is fat as fuck so enjoy
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alexandrasaintmleux just posted
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alexandrasaintmleux: gorgeous gorgeous girls are published authors!!!! y/n, y/n! I remember when you used to force me to read when I wanted to play princesses and now you’ve written a goddam book!!! In awe of u 📕🥰🥰
(tagged y/nreads)
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yn.reads : ALEXXXX!! my gorgeous sister! I couldn’t have done it without you!! Love you endlessly!
— user1 : wait r they sisters???!!
— user5 : no! hope this helps.
— user6 : pls use your brain
— user7 : they’ve known eachother forever! y/n moved to Monaco when she was 4, so they refer to eachother as sisters.
charles_leclerc: bravo y/n! Well deserved
maxverstappen1: 👏🏻👏🏻
— user43: 🤨🤨
— user10: wait do they know eachother?
— user15: not as far as i know…
— user12: Max doesn’t even follow Alex, why is he here?
— user17: interesting 🤭🤭
— alexandrasaintmleux: very interesting…
yn.reads just posted
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yn.reads: @alexandrasaintmleux thank you for letting me shake ass on your yacht, and cosplay as a rich monegasque while doing it! Your support has meant the world to me, you’re the reason Everything I Know About Love was written, cause you have taught me everything I know about love, friendship, life! You can purchase my book in just under a week guys!!
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alexandrasaintmleux: I’m so proud of you baby xx
— yn.reads: i love you so much alex, i had to write 124,567 words to express it
— alexandrasaintmleux: 🥹🥹
—charles_leclerc: am i intruding on something?
— yn.reads: yes!
user12: no but Alex and y/n’s friendship is literally my favourite thing
user11: is y/n not a rich monegasque?
— user10: she’s not even from Monaco, and she grew up with a single mum who I’m p sure just has a normal job so no
user14: not y/n using Alex for her money
— yn.reads: do y’all never get tired? Or is hating on the internet like your job?
— user14: no I have an actual job you should try it sometime…
— yn.reads: girl???? I just wrote a book?????
maxverstappen1 : I will read this book
— yn.reads: thank you max verstappen, current f1 champion
— user16: 🤨🤨🤨
— alexandrasaintmleux: what am I witnessing rn
— yn.reads: 🙃🙃
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yn.reads just posted
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yn.reads: BOOKLAUNCHBOOKLAUNCHBOOKLAUNCH
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lewishamilton: 👏🏾👏🏾
— yn.reads: WHAT THE FRICK LEWISHAMILTON??? What are you doing here??????!!
— alexandrasaintmleux: girl you good??
— yn.reads: am I good?? AM IGOOD?? Lewis freaking Hamilton knows I exist!!!
— charles_leclerc: please stop embarrassing me in front of my coworkers
— yn.reads: kick rocks leclerc
pierregasly: well done, me and kika already have our copies
— yn.reads: 🥺🥺 thank you pear and kiks
alexandrasaintmleux: so proud of you mon ange
— yn.reads: I love you so much alex
— user12: their friendship is so cute I can’t
— yn.reads: friendship?? We’re lovers!
— user12: wait are you actually???
— charles_lecelrc: NO
— yn.reads: don’t be jealous sharl
charles_leclerc: well done I guess
— yn.reads: thank you I guess
— alexandrasaintmleux: aww my two favourite people getting along ❤️🥺🥺
— user12: I need my doctor to prescribe me whatever the fuck Alex is on EXPEDITIOUSLY
user14: girl no one gives a fuck about your book launch, we want to know wtf happened at the after party??!
—user15 wait, did I miss something what happened?
— user14: it’s all over social media but it starts with max and ends in verstappen
maxverstappen1: simply lovely
— user14: well well well
— user15: and she didn’t even interact with his comment
— user14: very interesting…
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maxverstappen1 just posted
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liked by yn.reads, alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc and 4,178,940 others
maxverstappen1: I’ve got a NYT bestselling author teaching me how to read
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charles_leclerc: I made this happen everyone! It was me! I did it!
— yn.reads: yes well done percy, we’re well aware
— user12: wait a minute Charles did something nice for y/n?
— user14: my moneys on the fact he was just trying to get rid of her so he could spend time with Alex
— charles_leclerc: what if i told you im a mastermind 😎
yn.reads: it isn’t much but it’s honest work 😔
— danielricciardo: has he learnt his abc’s??
— yn.reads: just about he gets stuck on x, it’s a very difficult letter
— danielricciardo: happens to the best of us 😞
— yn.reads: @/danielricciardo hey I actually have a question for you??
— maxverstappen1: NO!! Y/N DO NOT ASK UR QUESTION
— yn.reads: ☹️☹️
user16: is this a hard launch??
— user14: Idek anymore 😭
— user17: like knowing y/n she might actually just be giving him reading lessons
— maxverstappen1: guys of course I can actually read
— user16: yeah sure you can! That’s the spirit!
yn.reads: I bagged the baddest bitch y’all
—maxverstappen1: 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️💅🏼💅🏼
— alexandrasaintmleux: I thought I was the baddest bitch???
— yn.reads: oh my god… OH MY GOD, I didn’t think this through… @/maxverstappen1 what do you think of a throuple??
— maxverstappen1: NO
— charles_leclerc: NO
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TAGLIST
@forevercaffeinated-lee
@callsignwidow
@a-beaverhausen
@emryb
@c0deincrazy
@dontworryaboutitokie
@c-losur3
@chuxk-lerclerk
@silkenthusiasts
@ietss
@sp1rl
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atinylittlepain · 1 year
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i need joel x f! reader friends to lovers 😩🫶🏻
i took this and ran with it
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Birds of a Feather
joel miller x f!reader
joel masterlist
joel has met his match, and though he's trying to keep things platonic, his brother has other plans for him.
warnings | 18+ smut, drunk tommy miller requires his own warning, angst, and a little fluff
wordcount: 4.1K
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Joel Miller has finally met his match, and he knows it. He had balked at it initially, when Tommy assigned him to patrol with some woman. But it wasn’t just some woman. Folks around town call her Sunshine, a running joke since she’s anything but. He didn’t know anyone could be more standoffish than him, but that first shift together, the steel in her stare and the tick of her jaw had thrown any of his ideas about her right out the window. Is it any wonder they became friends so fast?
He doesn’t like to talk much, she doesn’t either.
He has a dry sense of humor, but hers has to be even drier. 
She refuses to suffer fools, and he enjoys watching her put men in their place.
He’s slow to thaw toward people, and so is she, both of them melting in each other’s presence.
Where he’s from Texas, she’s from Tennessee, the remnants of their drawls twining up in easy conversation.
He likes a stiff glass of whiskey at the end of the day, and she’s always game to join him.
But maybe one of the things he likes best is that while he’s good at pool, she’s fucking great at it, and he doesn’t mind getting his ass handed to him on Friday nights at the bar, not when it’s her doing the handing.
“Are you asleep, Miller? Or are you really just that bad at pool?” Her grin flickers under the dim lights of the Tipsy Bison, and he knows that it’s a sight not many people get to see. She cocks her head to the side, spinning her cue stick lightly in her hand as she smirks at him.
“Easy, darlin, gonna make you eat those words one of these days.” She’s not Sunshine, not to him, he refuses to call her what everybody else does. She had confessed to him once, on a long patrol shift, that she hated the nickname, but was too proud to ever say anything about it. In turn, Joel had told her about how growing up, Tommy managed to get everyone at their highschool to start calling him “Skip,” something he hadn’t told anyone in close to thirty years. His residual embarrassment had been worth it to see her smile in that moment, and it was about then that Joel realized he had made a certified friend. Though everyone else seems convinced that something a little more is going on.
“Shit.” He completely scratches his next turn, sending the cue ball right into one of the pockets as she snickers.
“What was that about me eating my words?” He’s distracted, just a little, but who could blame him when she’s wearing a pair of cut-offs that should be illegal and a tank top that turns downright obscene when she leans over the table for her own turn. So maybe there is something a little more going on, but it’s one sided, he reckons, and he’s not about to fuck up the first friendship he’s cared about in years just because he’s thinking with his dick. But, apparently, that’s not the only thing he has to worry about.
“Well, howdy, if it ain’t Jackson’s favorite tag team, frick and frack.” Joel hasn’t seen Tommy this drunk in decades. The town council had been celebrating that night, though he’s not quite sure what. Regardless, Tommy is sloshed as he loops and arm over Joel’s shoulders, a lazy grin on his face as he looks between him and her.
“Joel, Sunshine. How are we this fine evening?” While she snorts at his slurred-out question, Joel is less than amused, shrugging his brother off of him with a huff.
“Touchy, touchy, big brother. What’s got your panties in a twist? Did you break his heart already, Sunshine?” Joel can feel his face blanch at Tommy’s drawling words, glancing between him and her. While she’s still smiling, the crease between her brows suggests she’s as thrown off as Joel is.
“What’re you on about, little Miller?” Tommy lets out a hoot of a laugh at her question, leaning up against the pool table and grinning at her.
“What I’m on about is the sweet little crush this big guy right here has on you. It ain’t healthy, really, Joel’s got it bad for you.” If they weren’t related by blood, Tommy wouldn’t have teeth in his head by now, but instead, Joel settles for letting his jaw all but drop to the floor as he looks between his giggling brother and her. She doesn’t look so amused anymore.
“It’s true! Ain’t seen his eyes get like that in a long time, those big ol’ puppy dogs of his are for you and you only, Sunshine.” Before the horror of it all can really settle in, Tommy sighs, slapping Joel on his shoulder and shuffling off with a low murmured “where’s Maria?”
Her eyes are wide when he finally looks at her, lips parted, complete bewilderment splashed across her face. And before she can say anything, Joel is turning heel and booking it out of there before everything comes crumbling down around him.
She’s stunned. By the whole thing really. Tommy’s ridiculous musings, the way that Joel didn’t deny any of it, and then the way he booked it out of the bar like he wanted nothing to do with her. She wouldn’t have guessed in a million years that her night was going to turn out like this. Not that she would tell anyone, but she loves Friday nights, pool nights, when she gets to spend just a little more time with Joel than usual. So for it to turn so sour so fast, she finds herself at a loss, clutching her cue stick in her hands, stuck standing where Joel left her.
There’s no two ways about it, she likes him. Things feel easy around him. She hadn’t met anyone else in town who she could talk to like she can him. He gets it, being on the road, not always having a warm place to sleep, what it means to kill. They’ve both seen a far different life than the one they’re living now, and talking to him makes her feel a little less crazy. And yes, maybe she also likes the strong cut of his jaw, the way his deep brown eyes crinkle up when she talks to him, the broad span of his shoulders, and how he squares them up when she challenges him. You could call it a crush, but she’d call it stupid, something that would only ruin the friendship, the one big good in her life, that she has with him. 
But now all bets are off. She’s got nothing to lose, and she’ll be damned if she doesn’t get the truth from him.
She knows him well enough by now to have a pretty good idea of where he stomped off to, and she doesn’t waste any more time standing around with a dumb look on her face, heading out of the bar and into the hazy light of the summer evening.
There’s a bench tucked away behind the stables, partially hidden by a small thicket of trees. A while ago, they had set it as their meeting place before patrol shifts, always getting there a few minutes early to set a plan for the day, or just to talk quietly before they had to head out. She had caught him there a few times on their days off too, an easy slump in his posture, his arms stretched out over the back of the bench. He told her he liked the quiet of it, and when she attempted to apologize for intruding, he had said that she couldn’t bother him if she even tried. It’s where she finds him now, his elbows on his thighs and his head in his hands, though his eyes jerk up when she clears her throat.
“We gonna talk about what just happened?” He lets out a long sigh, sitting back on the bench and squinting up at her.
“I’d rather not.”
“Oh, c’mon, Joel. You know I’m not gonna let this go, not until you talk to me.” With that, he gets up from the bench with a huff, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Don’t have anything to say, except I’m sorry that my brother is such a fucking idiot.” She calls after him as he trudges away, but it’s no use, he doesn’t so much as look back over his shoulder at her. Knowing him as well as she does, she can easily tell when it’s time to stop prodding, when he’s shutting down and she won’t be able to get anything out of him, so she drops it, at least for now. 
She knows that they’re going to have to face whatever this is eventually, most likely the next morning when they’re set for a patrol shift together. With the hope of a clearer conversation on the horizon, she goes home, her mind still spinning from the strange evening. She lays awake in bed with her thoughts, the only conclusion she reaches being that she just wants the truth now, knowing that there will be no going back to the way things were, regardless of what he has to say.
When she gets to the bench the next morning, eyes bleary from a night without sleep, it becomes clear that Joel is going to make this more difficult than it has to be, as he is nowhere to be found. And he doesn’t show up either, not even when it’s time for their shift and she’s mounting up at the stables. She lets out a bitter laugh, though, when she sees who does show up.
“Did he send you down here?” Tommy huffs, leaning up against the door to the stables with a sheepish grin.
“Would you be less pissed at him if I said he didn’t?” 
“What? He ask for a new patrol partner already?” She knows it sounds harsh, but she doesn’t care, anger starting to feel like the appropriate response for how childish Joel seems to be acting. Tommy just sighs.
“Look, Sunshine, I feel awful for what I said last night. I was so fucking drunk I didn’t know up from down. But it’s true what I said. Reckon he thinks you hung the moon in the sky or some shit.” That makes her pause, but she stifles the kick of her heart with another scoff.
“What’s your point, Tommy? I have a shift to cover.” 
“No you don’t.” 
“Huh?” Tommy lets out a breathy laugh at her furrowed look.
“I’m covering your shift– figure I owe you both for messing shit up so bad. I got a buddy of mine coming down in a few to patrol with me, but you’re off the hook. And I think you oughta go talk to him.” 
“Joel made it pretty clear last night that he didn’t have anything else to say.” Tommy’s frown deepens at her clipped words, and he takes a few steps into the stables, leveling a surprisingly serious look at her.
“My brother is a stubborn ass, I won’t deny that. He doesn’t really like people, or feelings for that matter. But I know him well enough to see that he’s different around you. And maybe it’s selfish of me to say this, but you’re good for him, and I’ll be damned if the only reason you two don’t wind up together is my big fucking mouth.” His words stun her silent long enough for him to step forward and place a hand on her shoulder.
“Just go talk to him, please? If anyone can get through to him it’s you.”
He has to admit to himself that he was hoping, just a little bit, that it’d be her knocking on his front door, his chest tightening when he sees that it is. Though she doesn’t seem all too pleased to be looking at him, her arms crossed over her chest and an edgy arch to her brow.
“We gonna talk like adults now? Or are you gonna keep sending little Miller to do your bidding?” He knows this tone of voice. It’s the way she speaks to people, usually men, that she’d rather not give the time of day to. He’s always been amused by it, the stiff jerk of her chin, the eerie calm of her words. But it’s never been directed at him before, and suddenly there’s nothing amusing about it. 
“I– yeah, yes. Let’s talk.” Real smooth, dumbass. She doesn’t wait for him to open the door any wider, brushing right past him and into his living room before turning on her heel to look at him.
“Well, there’s no real way around this, is there?” Her question hangs between them, a drooping thread threatening to snap, though even now, they still move comfortably around each other, sitting down on opposite ends of the couch and mirroring each other’s posture, elbows on thighs, heads tilted toward the other. 
“Where do you wanna start, darlin?” She huffs out a laugh, more like an exasperated sigh as she looks at him, the steel gone, only a quirked worry left in its place.
“The truth– I want you to tell me the truth, Joel– about what Tommy said last night.” He figures he’s got nothing to lose at this point. That either way, whether he’s straight with her or not, their friendship isn’t ever going to be the same, so he takes a deep breath, and lets the words come rushing out. 
“He wasn’t wrong– I mean, what he said? It’s true, I feel– I, uh– I like the way I feel? When I’m around you? And, um– Jesus christ, what I’m trying to say is– I feel very– fondly toward you.” He’d like to disappear now, to dissolve and slip down beneath the floorboards so she’ll stop smiling at him like he just made a complete fool of himself, because he did. 
“You feel fondly toward me, huh?” And now she’s making fun of him, a light laugh on her lips as he grumbles at her question. But she’s quick to catch his despairing spiral, scooting over and placing a hand on his knee. 
“I’m sorry, Joel. I don’t mean to tease. But for the record, the feeling’s mutual.” Oh. He can feel his eyebrows shoot up at her words, and her grin broadens at his reaction.
“You mean– you– what’s that word? You mean platoni–” She’s kissing him. She’s kissing him and his brain is going blank but he doesn’t need to think, not really, moving like he knows, like he’s been waiting for this. She’s as stubborn as he is, and it shows in the way they struggle against each other, pulling on clothes to get closer, teeth clashing just a bit as she slips into his lap, pushing him back against the couch as he drags her as close as he can. When she does pull away, he doesn’t let her go far, his hand holding her steady by the hilt of her neck, breathless and smiling.
“No, I don’t mean platonically. Not at all.” And then she’s kissing him again, and it’s quickly becoming his favorite feeling, though the way her hips are pressed up against his is a close second. Joel is starting to realize that they share a few other things in common as well.
They both have a hard time keeping quiet, his low groans mixing and mingling with the pitchy sighs she looses in between kisses.
And they both seem to want to get impossibly closer, his nose mashing up against the slope of her cheek as she winds her arms over his shoulder blades, holding him chest to chest.
Where he tries to get the upper hand, licking into her mouth, squeezing at the swell of her thighs, she just does the same, tugging at the hair at the nape of his neck to hold him just how she wants him as she ducks down to mouth at the arc of his neck.
Where he demands more, she’s happy to give, and to take in turn.
How they make it up the stairs and into his bedroom is beyond him, greedy hands peeling away clothes on the way up, leaving a trail of desire that they’ll have to trace later. 
She’s strong, just as strong as him, and she likes control, just as much as him, handily flipping them around on the bed so that she’s straddling him once again, leaving him wide-eyed and breathless at the sight of her. He’s got scars, and she does too, their hands running over the silvery marks, prayers that there won’t have to be anymore. Her bare cunt is a hot drag over his pelvis, and he’d like more than anything for her to shift her hips just a little lower, a little closer. But instead she ducks her head down, eyes flickering up to his as she lays a smear of kisses over his chest that begin to trail lower until she’s kneeling between his spread thighs. Joel thinks he just might die as he watches her spit into her hand before wrapping her palm around his throbbing cock, a hiss spilling between his teeth as she deftly sweeps her wrist up, her thumb swiping over his slit to smear the pooling pre-come there down his length.
“S’pretty, Joel. Prettier than I imagined.” He can’t help but groan at her words, scrunching his eyes shut and pressing his head back into the sheets.
“You– fuck– you thought about this, darlin? About me?” She smiles at his question, her lips just grazing the underside of him.
“Mmhmm, thought about you a lot. About this. We’re so alike, you and I. I couldn’t help but think that if anyone would be able to handle me, it’d be you.” And with that, she licks a salacious stripe up his length before taking him into the heat of her mouth.
“Christ– I  can– can handle you, darlin. Handle you however you want me to– fuck, that mouth of yours is a dream.” She hums at his praise, the vibration shooting straight down his cock as she bobs her head. It’s messy as hell, the slick sound of spit, her palm pressed flat against his stomach to hold him still, the drag of her tongue along his length, and the way her eyes stay on him, hooded and hazy under her lashes. 
“Thought about you too, y’know, like-like this.” His words make her stop for a moment, pulling off of him with a sigh, her hand picking up where she left off.
“And? Am I living up to your expectations?” Her words are lilted by her grin, and the sight of her lazily stroking his cock, her head tilted as she looks at him is nearly too obscene to be real.
“S’better– you’re so much better– fucking perfect.” It’s like he realizes all of a sudden how bad he wants to touch her, and then it’s all he wants, all he needs, coaxing her back up to meet in a kiss before rolling them over, swallowing the peel of laughter she lets out as he hovers over her. 
He wants to be the only one who gets her like this, the only one to hear her sighs, soft and melty in his sheets, sweet only for him as he swipes his fingers through her folds, dragging her pooling slick up to draw circles over her clit.
“So wet for me, darlin. S’just for me, huh?” Her chin jerks in a nod, whatever control she had now held in his hands, her hips canting up into his palm. 
“Just for you, Joel. All for you– please.” She doesn’t have to say anymore, he knows what she wants because it’s what he wants too. More. He presses two fingers inside of her, unable to stifle the groan he lets out at the feel of her cunt clenching around him, muffling the sound with a drag of kisses across her chest. She keens up into his touch, back arching when he takes one of her nipples into his mouth, tongue laving over the peak before letting his teeth just barely graze the delicate skin. And he learns her, all of her, the dips and swells of her body, the spot he can press against inside her that makes her brow crumple, the scrape of her nails down his back, the little whimpers she tries to silence, biting down on her lip, the way she tightens around his fingers when she’s close, and the broken sound of his name on her lips when she finally unravels for him, panting and twisting in pleasure. 
“That’s it, darlin. Feels good, huh? I did good for you?” Maybe it’s a little selfish, what he asks, but she’s happy to answer anyways.
“So good– did so good for me, Joel. Fuck, I really want you, baby.” He can feel the heat flushing up his face at her words, his mind going dizzy with the praise, and all he can do is give her what she wants, slotting his hips against hers and notching his leaking tip at her entrance. 
It’s unreal, it’s gotta be, the way she spreads open around him, close and pliant, her knee hitched up along his waist as he presses into her, both of them sighing at the stretch. For a moment, they’re still, just feeling each other, pressed so close, sweat-damp skin sticking from the contact, choppy exhales cooling down their shared heat. And then, Joel learns that they have something else in common. They both like their pleasure with just a tinge of pain.
It starts slow, the rock of his hips into hers, but she makes it clear with the press of her heel into his low back and her hand tugging in his hair that slow is the last thing she wants, and Joel is more than happy to oblige. The thump of the headboard against the wall, the slap of skin, harsh grunts and crackling moans twine around them, wrapping them up in a desperate symphony with each harsh grind of his hips against hers. 
He wants to leave marks, wants her to remember this when she runs her hands over the bruises he leaves, a purple and blue mosaic of where he touched her, where he wanted her most. And she seems intent on the same goal, nails scratching down his shuddering back, pulling him closer so she can mouth at his neck, her teeth nipping just a touch unkindly, making his eyes roll back from the sharp suggestion of pain. 
“Fuck, darlin– made just for me, huh? So good like this– wanna feel you like this– want you to gimme another one. Be so good for me, honey, c’mon.” 
All she wants is him. The hot drag of his cock inside her, his hips mashing up against hers, the heavy grip of his hand cupping her ass, pulling her hips up to meet his. His scruff, scraping against her chest, lips a smudge against her skin, each grunt a vibration that runs through her bones. The way he keeps her head from hitting the headboard with his forearm protectively curled there, holding himself up just enough to move his hips against hers, to look at her when she comes for a second time, spasming around him.
She feels like liquid beneath him, undone by pleasure, only vaguely aware of the breathy chant of please, please leaving her lips with each exhale. But he knows what she’s asking for, and Joel gives it to her, pulling out with a groan, his spend smearing across her heaving stomach as he pants over her. He flops down onto his stomach next to her with a sigh, one arm slung heavy over her waist, turned on his cheek to look at her. 
“Get you cleaned up in a minute– just need to not move right now– shit.” She has to laugh at his breathless exclamation, catching the crook of his grin out of the corner of her eye before turning onto her side to get a better look at him. Hair wild, sticking up all which ways, and cheeks flushed under his altogether boyish smile, she can’t help but lean in for a kiss that he gives up willingly to her. 
“Remind me again why we waited so long to do that?” That makes him laugh, squeezing her hip to pull her closer as he turns onto his side
“Because I was an idiot.” She hums at his answer, brushing his hair back out of his face before letting her palm settle along his scruff.
“It takes two, we were both idiots.” 
“Some pair we make, huh, darlin?” 
Some pair indeed.
1K notes · View notes
vvinirl · 3 months
Text
satoru. g
warnings: smut, missionary, pet names (princess, baby, sweetheart) name calling from gojo and reader (crybaby,shorty,dumbass) oral (fem receiving), spitting, praising, slight crying during sex, love bombing (i got in my feels towards the end okay 😔) curses don’t exist
word count: 4.3k (tired smth new ;))
not proofread
Tumblr media
would you say that it was a blessing having your older brother’s best friend satoru gojo around, or a curse?
if it was a blessing, there would only be a few things you could list that would make it a blessing
-you’ve known him since you were practically in diapers
-he’s always around
-he’s the hottest guy you’ve ever seen
-he actually talks to you
-and he’s a older guy
those are what some would call a blessing
if it was a curse, there would only be one thing you could list that would make it a curse
-you can’t have him
and not only because he’s your older brother’s best friend and if you and satoru were to get together it would ruin their friendship, but because you just can’t
or you don’t think you could. you don’t think that satoru has ever thought about you in ways you’ve thought about him. you don’t think you’re his type, and you definitely definitely don’t think he would ever be interested in you
the only reason you think about those thoughts are because satoru always has girls lined up in front of him, willing to give up everything in their life just to spend a day with him. everyone adores him and worshiped him, who wouldn’t?
and he was crazy rich and was already the ceo of of his family company and the youngest rich bachelor in the country
but despite all satoru had and could have, he chose to stay single
why? nobody knows
and he also chose to stay around his best friend suguru and even you
you don’t know why he chose you guys, he could have any friends he wanted, hundreds if he chose but no
you don’t know when or how your little crush on satoru started but if you had to say, it would definitely be that summer, before the start of 6th grade
you were going to the 6th grade and suguru and satoru were going to the 8th
you were at the park playing and minding your business. in your cute little baby blue dress with daisies on them and a big white bow sewn into the back. you could say it was your favorite dress
these 3 older boys, probably grade 9, walked up to you and started throwing mean comments at you
“look at her hair, ew”
“her ugly dress too”
“does she think she’s cute?”
you didn’t cared what they said but one comment really stuck out to you
“why does she look like that”
some would say you were a crybaby, and they are definitely right. you were a sensitive child, still is
“leave me alone” you stood up, grabbing your babydoll and held it by your side
“or what?”
“you gonna cry to your big bro geto?”
one of the laughed and walked closer to you
“i-i said leave me alone” tears welling up in your eyes, looking down at your black sandals, the sandy beneath your feet
one of the boys pushed you back as you fell back onto your elbows and into the sand
“oh so you think you’re tuff now huh-“
the boy didn’t finish his sentence as satoru came out of nowhere and landed a punch on his jaw
“what the hell!” one of the boys yelled towards satoru, kneeling down to inspect his friend’s bleeding nose
“do you want a matching bloody nose too?” satoru stepped up to them
“n-no, let’s get out of here guys”
“he’s fricking crazy man”
the boys got their friend with the bloody nose off the ground and ran away
you were sitting there the whole time watching everything unfold before your eyes, still in the same position in the sand that the boy pushed you to
“are you okay?”
you looked up at satoru, his hand extended for you to take. you nodded, taking his hand as he brought you up
“are you hurt anywhere?”
“no, i’m okay” you sniffled, looking down at your dress to see it had gotten a little dirty
satoru reached a hand up to your face and wiped your tears stained cheek with his sleeve
you looked up at him, bright blue eyes staring into your dark and brown ones. the summer sunlight reflecting off his milky pale skin
“don’t let them treat you like that okay?”
“y-yeah” you nodded once more, still lost in those eyes
“if they ever come back again, i’ll leave them with more than a bloody nose”
“but you might get in trouble gojo”
“i don’t care. you shouldn’t have to deal with their bullshit, got that?”
“mhm”
“now come on crybaby, your brother and parents are waiting for you” satoru dusted your dress of and wrapped an arm around your shoulders
“and i said to call me satoru”
“right, yeah of course gojo-“
“i mean satoru!” you quickly corrected yourself, feeling slightly embarrassed. gojo laughed at you as he shook his head
“dumbass”
“am not”
“are too”
the both of you bickered back and forth, as you walked back to your house, his arms still around your shoulders
but i guess you could that was the day you began to slowly fall in love with satoru more and more as the years went on
there was times when you fell harder for him, one including your 9th grade school dance
a guy in a older grade had asked you out to the dance so you decide to take on the opportunity to go with him
you got all dress up in this beautiful red dress your mom bought from you, she said she wore that very dress the night she met your father back in the same grade you were in right now
it fit you so nicely and your mom did your hair and you got all dolled up for that dance
at the dance you waited and waited for your date to show up but not surprisingly, he didn’t
you saw having a time with another girl on the dance floor as you stood by the punch bowl
you thought that maybe he hadn’t seen you and was looking for you and that girl was just one of his friends, but the universe must’ve have hated you that night because she definitely wasn’t a friend because he kissed her
so you wondered if he was really interested in you or if it was just some dumb prank
you left the dance early that night and walked home. you didn’t want your dad to pick you up or suguru, you didn’t want them to ask you a bunch of questions
when you got home you sat on the porch. there was a swinging chair on the front porch that you loved to sit and read on
swinging back and forth with your knee up to your chest, you hummed your favorite song, thinking about everything and anything, your mind racing
you didn’t even noticed someone had come out the house and sat by you
“y/n”
you flinched as looked beside you, “gosh satoru, you could’ve given me a heart attack”
he chuckled and shook his head, looking ahead
you both stared up at the dark sky, the moon illuminating your faces, the stars shining brightly in the cataclysmic sky
“why did you leave the dance” satoru spoke up
“i got bored and decided to leave”
“he stood you up didn’t he?”
you didn’t say anything, your eyes still glued to the stars
satoru took his eyes away from the sky and looked at you, “what’s his name”
“satoru..”
“what, i’m just asking” he shrugged
you knew what he was trying to do and what he was going to do
“it doesn’t matter anymore. he doesn’t matter”
you got up and grabbed your heels, “good night satoru”
“wait, y/n-“
he stood up, towering over you
you hadn’t even notice that satoru has been growing so tall all these years, and definitely getting hotter
you brought your eyes up to meet his, waiting for what he said to say
“yes, satoru?”
“do you wanna dance?”
“what..?”
“i said to do you wanna dance.. with me?”
you both danced on your porch that night. one of his hands around your waist and the other holding your hand. with your head rest on his chest and a hand on his shoulder, the other one in his hands
the next week at school you saw the guy that stood you up at the dance with stitches and a black eye. that day satoru and suguru got called into the principal office and got suspended
that was when you knew you liked satoru, but you also knew you couldn’t be with him and you knew he wouldn’t choose you
the other time was when you were 18 finished with high school and suguru and satoru were second years in college, both 20
you moved in with your brother into an apartment off campus
satoru would come around a lot and sleepover, you didn’t know why but when you asked him, all he said was “let’s just say home isn’t very warm and welcoming right now”
one evening in the spring you had came home from work, the gentle breeze of the wind blowing through the window of the living that was slightly cracked opened
you were tired and wanting to shower and hop straight in bed
you didn’t think anyone was home because it was very quiet so you put your things away in your room and grabbed your towel and loofa
making your way over to the bathroom, humming whatever song that was stuck in your head, you opened the bathroom door, not thinking anyone was in there because you thought the house was empty
you opened the door and your eyes widened in shock
there was satoru, drying his wet hair with a towel, naked
you shut the door quickly, mentally cussing yourself as you ran back to your room
“oh my god oh my god oh my god”
you plopped down onto your bed as covered your face
you could feel your face getting warm as the image of satoru naked flashes your mind repeatedly
“hey, i’m done with the shower”
satoru’s deep voice broke you out of your state as you flinched
he stood there leaning against the door with the towel handing lowly around his waist. his happy trail and v-line on display, little water droplets running down from his neck to his toned abs and into the crevice of the towel
you nodded and got up, making your way over to your door but you stopped as satoru till stood in the way
he rested his head against the door way, looking down at you, smirking
you forgot that satoru had gotten so much smug over the years, his ego way bigger now and his attitude completely different
he can be nice if he wanted to but most of the time he was a kinda of a dick, not seeming to care about anyone but himself
but for you, he was different, he treated you differently. he would tease you here and there and call you names or make fun of you but of the end of the day, he was never really disrespectful to you or treated you like how he treated others
“my eyes are up here shorty”
you looked up at him, slightly avoiding eye contact with him. you were definitely not looking at his abs or what was under that towel, you almost found out anyways. if satoru would’ve turned around, you definitely would’ve seen but his back was turned to you when you accidentally walked in on him
“why are you being all shy now?”
he knew why, but he wanted to tease and push your buttons.
“i’m not”
“then look at me”
you averted your eyes to meet his, fully making eye contact with him now. a small smirk formed on his lips as he looked you up and down
he got off the door frame and moved closer to you.
“you know if you wanted to see my dick you could’ve just asked”
“you’re disgusting satoru and plus it was an accident” you rolled your eyes at him and his inappropriate behavior
“im just saying princess. i wouldn’t mind showing you”
“why are you so nasty” you shook your head at him as he laughed
“come on, you know i’m just pushing your buttons. suguru would murder me”
“hopefully he does, your annoying ass”
“wow”, satoru brought a hand up to his heart “that one hurt princess, how could you”, he faked sniffled
rolling your eyes, you said “satoru im too tired right now, i gotta shower”
“aw but i wanna have more fun with you” he fake pouted a little
“go have fun with some other girl”
“are you suggesting i do or implying”
“whichever one, i could careless”
“you jealous?”
you scoffed and looked away, “as if”
satoru moved closer to you, bringing a hand under your shirt slightly to grab your waist. his other hand reached up to your face and cupped your jaw
“you know you don’t need to be jealous”
“i’m not”
“it’s okay if you are, i’m not going anywhere”
what did he even mean by that, you thought to yourself
you felt satoru’s thumb caressing the flesh on your waist
“satoru i already said im not jealous, quit trying to make it sound like i am”
you moved his hand from your face and walked past him into the hallway, making your way to the bathroom
“whatever you say sweetheart” satoru said after you
a few years later you would sometimes think about that day, thinking about what he said “im not going anywhere”
you thought hard about what he was talking about or maybe trying to say but it didn’t matter anyways. not like it meant anything
you were now 21 and gojo and suguru were 23
you still lived with suguru, and still in school. you wanted to become a nurse so you were currently in nursing school. suguru owned a tattoo business of his own and even had a girlfriend. satoru had taken over his family company, becoming the new ceo
you were laying on the couch of your shared apartment with your brother watching tv as suguru walked in through the front door
“hey i’m home” he said, placing some grocery bags on the kitchen counter
“what did you buy”
“some bread, milk and other necessities”
you sat up from the couch and rest your head on the back of the chair, looking over at suguru into the kitchen
“oh and satoru invited me over at his place later tonight to hang out with some friends if you wanna come”
your ears perked up as you brought your head up from the couch
“satoru..?”
“mhmm, satoru” suguru gave you a knowing look as he wiggled his eyebrows at you
“ew don’t look at me like that”
suguru laughed, “are you gonna come?”
“does he want me to?”
“y/n, why wouldn’t he?”
“i dunno”
“you know you wanna come. you get to see your little crush”
“ewww stop sugu. i don’t like him”, you turned your back to him and looked back at the tv
“yeah sureeee”
“shut up”
you hadn’t seen satoru in about 3 months. i guess he’s been busy with work and all. he’s texted a few times to check up on you and stuff but it was like once every 2 weeks for the past 3 months
you did kinda wanted to see him. as a matter of fact you wanted to see him very badly. you missed him and his stupid face
“so are you gonna come with me?” suguru asked
“i guess i could”
later that night you wore a mini baby blue dress that hugged your figure just right. showing all your curves and such. you thought you looked nice and hopefully satoru thinks so too tonight
when you and suguru arrived to satoru’s penthouse, he opened the door for yall
“what’s up suguru”, satoru greeted his friend as they did their little handshake
suguru entered the house as you stood there, looking at satoru
“princess”, satoru give you a little smirk
“satoru”
“it’s been a while” he said, his eyes roaming over your body
“yeah it has, i’ve missed you”
your eyes widened slightly to what you said, not registering you that that you’ve missed satoru
“i mean like- not like missed missed but you know.. like not seeing you around and-“
“i missed you too y/n” satoru cut you off
“o-oh” you laughed nervously, your face getting warm
“you’re getting all shy on me again princess”
“shut up”
your rolled your eyes at him, “why don’t you make-“
“hey love birds, stop standing there and come in” you both heard suguru’s voice from inside
satoru smirked at you as he stepped aside to let you in
later on more of suguru’s and satoru’s friends showed up for their little hang out. there was 3 girls including you and a bunch of other guys, including suguru and satoru
you were talking with two of the girls, the 3 of you all becoming friends right then and there.
“you’re crazy”you giggled at something a girl named shoko said
“well he had it coming” she shrugged
the night went all as everyone played some board games. you and satoru were on a team when you guys played charades. you would’ve won if satoru would’ve guess the right answer but he swore the right answer was whatever he was thinking
“satoru we could’ve won” you groaned at him
“well it’s not my fault”
“what do you mean it’s not, it is”
later on the party ended and everyone left. it was just you, suguru, and satoru now, watching tv
suguru got a text and spoke up “sorry i gotta leave guys, my girl wants me”
“are you okay staying here y/n?” suguru asked you as he stood up from the couch
“yeah i’m fine, tell her i said hi”
suguru hugged you and dabbed up satoru
“stay safe. no monkey business”, suguru said as he left, you rolled your eyes and turn your eyes towards the movie
it was just you and satoru now. he sat, manspreading with a hand resting behind your head on the couch, both of your knees brushing against each other ever now and then
“do you have any water?” you asked, looking over to satoru
“yeah, you thirsty?”
“yeah”
he got up and made his way to his kitchen, you followed him. when the both of you got to the kitchen, he grabbed a water bottle and handed it to you
“thanks” you give him a smile smile
“i missed that” satoru said, leaning against the kitchen island
“missed what?”
“that little smile of yours you would do. i missed seeing it”
you smiled more and took a sip of the water, you face heating up. “really?”
“yes really. i remember the first time i saw that smile. the summer before you went to 6th grade”
“oh yeah, that was definitely a time”
“remember those boys who were bullying you?” satoru chuckled, looking over at you
“unfortunately, i do”
“that guy definitely deserved that bloody nose”
“oh yeah i remember that too. thanks for that”
“no need to thank me, they were teasing you and nobody teases my girl except for me”
you blushed at the comment satoru made about you being his girl
“you know your dress you’re wearing right now reminds me of the blue one you wore that day”
“eww don’t remind me, i really thought it was cute”
“but it was cute, blue is my favorite color”
“well of course it is” you playfully rolled your eyes
“and your dress right now looks perfect on you” satoru leaned in closer to you
you give him a small smile and thanked him, putting the water bottle on the counter
satoru’s hands reached out and moved to your thighs, his fingers brushing against your skin as he ran a hand along the hem of your dress
“very pretty”
“thanks, i got it from one of my favorite stores..”, you say looking down at your dress
“im not talking about the dress y/n”
“what?”
you looked up at him to meet his gaze, he was so close to you now, you could feel his breath on your face
you, you’re..” he leans in more, “..pretty”
he finally closes the gap between you both, his lip grazing yours. “i’ve been wanting to kiss you so bad” he whispers against your lips
“what’s stopping you”
he smiles as his lips presses against yours, soft and warm lips taking yours in. both of his hands moves up to grab your waist, pulling you flush against him
your hands grab onto his biceps and hold him as your lips move against his. he opens his mouth slightly to taste more of you. the kiss starts to get more heated, satoru bites your lower lip and that earns a whimper from you, he takes that as a chance to push his tongue into your mouth. his tongue moving and sliding over yours, making wet sounds
his hands grip hips tightly, but firm enough to not hurt you
he tilts his head to the side to deepen the the kiss. his hands to the hem of your dress, his hand slides under dress, grabbing your ass and squeezing it
you moaned against his lips, your panties getting damped even more.
“you don’t know what you do to me” satoru says into the kiss, his fingers toying with your panties, teasing to take it off
he pulled his hands from under your dress and picks you up. you wrap legs around his waist as he walks to his room, lips still on yours, kissing you more sloppily now
he lays you down on the bed and pulls out of the kiss. when he stands up he wastes no time taking his clothes off, he’s now only in his boxers, his harden cock very visible now. you could practically see the veins outlining the outside of his boxers
your mouth hangs open slightly, taking in satoru as he stood there. he was truly built like a greek god
“are you done?”, satoru spoke up, breaking you out of your trance of your practically thirsting over him
“not really, i’m still enjoying it”
he chuckled and climbed back over you. he reached up behind you to unzip your dress, his finger tips grazing the exposed skin on your back. he finally unzips and gently slides it off you, leaving you in only panties
“no bra?” satoru eyes looks over your body, taking in you like hes been starving for days and you are the only one to full to him up
“why not” you shrugged
“fuck baby, you’re killing me” satoru groans dramatically, his lips finding yours again in a heated and sloppy kiss
as his lips worked on yours, one of his hands slides down to your clothed pussy as he pressed his thumb to your clit
whimpering into the kiss you buck your hips, searching for more friction from his finger
“relax, i’ll give you what you want princess” satoru says, pulling out of the kiss. he moved down to your heat, right where you needed him
“so wet for me and all for me” satoru whispers against your pussy. the feeling of his warm breath against you is enough to make you want to squeeze your thighs together
he uses his middle finger to pull your panties to one side and flicks his tongue against your clit
“fuck~” you threw your head back in pleasure. satoru rips your panties off without hesitation and threw them to the side, while looking at you the whole time
he waste no time in tasting you, his tongue gliding through your wet and puffy folds, tasting your juices
he lets out a deep hum in satisfaction, “been wanting to taste you for so long”
he goes all in, attaching his mouth to your clit and sucking on it harshly. it was like he’s been dying to taste you and now that he’s finally gotten a taste, he can’t get enough of it
when he moves from your clit, he start fucking your pussy with his tongue. his hands on your thighs holding you in place firmly as his tongue fucks you
“oh fuck toru~” you moaned his name, your hand moving to his hair to grip it for some sort of support
satoru got even harder from the nickname you just called him
“say it again princess” he muffled into your pussy
“toru~”
he stops tongue fucking you and spits on your pussy and then again, his spit and your juices mixing together. he watches it drip down between your folds, the sight being mesmerizing to him
he uses his middles finger and teased your entrance with it
“stop teasing toru-” your pleas was cut short as satoru slips his finger inside you, you let out a gasp but it quickly turns into a moan when satoru starts fingering you
he’s moving his fingers at a slow and steady pace, he wanted to take his own time with you. he liked the way your warm pussy clenched around his finger, he couldn’t wait to see how it’ll feel when your pussy was wrapped his dick, with your walls squeezing him and sucking him in
“do you like that?” satoru asked, his finger speeding up
“y-yeah, feels so good”
he adds another finger, his mouth moving back to your clit to suck on while his fingers worked fast inside you
“gonna cum toru~”
he hums in response to you, his mouth latched onto you, not wanting to let go until he tastes your sweet juices
a few strokes from his fingers later and you’re moaning and coming onto his finger, hands grabbing and pulling at his hairs as you bring his face flush against your pussy
satoru continues to finger you as you’re coming and when you’re done, he pulls out his fingers to lick up all your juices
“so fucking sweet”
then he’s kissing you, making you taste yourself on his lips, his tongue sliding into your mouth
you reach down and palm him through his boxers, feeling how hard he was, you felt him twitch underneath your touch
“mm baby~” he moaned into the kiss, his hand rubbing up and down your thighs
“wanna feel you toru~”
he pushes you down onto the bed gently and gets rids of his boxers. he grabs your thighs and pulls you towards him more. his dick resting against your lower stomach
“are you ready?” he asked, rubbing his tip against your entrance, covering his head in your juices
“mhm”
“use your words, tell me how badly you want it princess”
“satoru stop playing with me”
“well i guess i won’t give you what you want then”
“w-wait toru-“
you moan loudly when satoru pushes his dick inside of you, his tip already hitting your g-spot on impact
“you were saying?” he said with a smug expression on his face
your eyes roll to the back of your head as satoru begins moving his hips, thrusting into your pussy
“mm toru~”
“you don’t know.. fuck.. how long i’ve wanting you feel you wrapped around me. it’s like you were always teasing me in those short little things you would wear~”
“ngh toru, go faster~”
“beg me for it”
“p-please”
“huh? can’t hear you”
“fuck satoru, please. please fuck me”
that’s all satoru needed as his hands tightened on your thighs, pushing your legs forward, to gain more access to your pussy so he can push his dick deeper inside you
his thrust speed up, going deeper than ever. you could feel him in your womb. he watched the outline of his dick moving inside you, the sight making him want to cum right there on the spot
“it’s so d-deep toru~”
“i know baby. but you’re doing so well, taking me so good”
he lets go of your thighs and leans down to kiss you, swallowing your moans and whimpers
“s-so fucking good. just like that” he says between kisses
satoru pulls out of the kiss and looks down at you, you bring your hands up to his face to caress his face
“i love you y/n”
“d-do you mean it?”
“i’ve never been so sure. i love you so much y/n, you don’t know. since i meant you, my heart has only beat for one person, you”
you felt tears well up in your eyes, “i love you too satoru, im happy you feel the same, i love you so much”, you caressed his cheek
he leans down and kisses you, licking your bottom lip, asking for entrance into your mouth
he starts to thrust into you again, bullying his dick in into your pussy
“ngh, gonna come toru~”
“come for me baby, wanna feel you”
he’s whispering sweet nothings into your ear as he fucks his dick into you
a few thrusts later and you’re releasing all over his dick
“toru~”
“fuck baby”, his rhythm gets sloppier, hips stuttering into yours as he releases into you. spewing affirmations into your ear
he fucks his cum into you, kissing your jaw and your neck. you hold him tightly against your chest, legs wrapped around him
when he’s done shooting his load into you, he relaxes into your arms, nestling against you
“i love you y/n” satoru muffled into your chest
“i love you too toru”
you could hear soft snores coming satoru as you combed your finger through his hair, smiling to yourself
i guess it was a blessing after all to have satoru gojo around
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giddyfatherchris · 6 months
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I'm in love with you!!
pairing. felix x gn!reader
type. best friends to lovers
warnings. none except pure undiluted fluff
a/n. fricking loved writing this, it made me miss summer so muuuch, but i had the greatest time while listening to these songs on replay😋 highly suggest to have them playing in the background while reading! or just give them a listen cuz they’re amazing hehe hope you enjoy!! xx
song recommendations. calm - cody simpson, im in love with you - the 1975, island in the sun - weezer, heavenly state of mind - lewis capaldi, the view - skz
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"I like the view right now!" you chanted as the salty wind ruffled your hair and caressed your skin.
Your eight friends started hooting in agreement, all understanding the reference to one of your favorite songs of theirs.
As a celebration of their highly successful last tour, you had all decided to book a trip to a private island off the coast of Australia. It took a boat ride to reach the secluded piece of land filled with villas and populated with a few staff members. It was a paradisiac hideaway for you all, so accustomed to being surrounded all the time.
You turned back with a gigantic smile. Felix, who was standing behind you, mirrored the expression on your face, a certain twinkle illuminating his gaze.
You jumped in his arms, startling him as he caught you rapidly. "And I love going to the beach!"
He spun you around, feet digging in the sand while you both screamed. The rest of the group looked at you with amused expressions. By now, they had become quite accustomed to your antics. You ended your frivolous spinning by plopping down on the sand, slightly out of breath. You stretched your arms as far as you could, relishing in the stunning warmth of the Australian sun, and turned to cuddle against Felix, his nose already nuzzling in your hair. "I'm so happy to be back home, Lix." "So am I," he answered with a soft smile, his eyes half-closed.
After a day well spent outside, swimming and exploring, you had collectively decided to set up a cozy little camp on the beach to enjoy the warm night under a sky full of stars.
"Are you done, you two? We need help setting up!" shouted Changbin.
"I'm coming, you whiny child!"
You faked irritation with rolled eyes, but ever since you walked off the plane, you couldn't stop your lips from tilting upwards. Your soul seemed to be shouting and dancing to the rhythm of your home. Nothing could you get you down from your little cloud of happiness, even a whiny Changbin. You got up to lend him a hand before he started throwing a tantrum, not noticing Felix's hand still subtly reaching for you.
The young Australian looked at the stunning view. You were right. Being home felt amazing. It was wonderful to have some vacations after being on tour, especially here with you.
You had been friends for as long as he could remember.
From meeting in kindergarten to facing high school's adventures to growing into two young adults. You never had any big fights, your friendship having prevailed over any argument and hardship. Even the distance hadn't been enough to pull you apart.
Felix remembers too well the fear he felt before telling you he wanted to become an idol all those years ago. He was so scared you would disapprove and hate him for wanting to go so far away. But your anger only came from the fact that he had never said a thing about it. He remembers fondly how you jumped on him, hugging him tight with tears lining your eyes. From that moment on, you had been his fiercest supporter. You cried buckets when he left for Korea but made him promise to keep in touch every day. So you video chatted whenever he could. You stayed up with him for entire nights, braving the time difference to give him pointers on choreo stuff or to cheer him up when he had a rough day.
Until you no longer had to do any of that.
Looking at you now, getting along so well with his brothers, made his heart tighten with emotion. At 23 years old, he had everything he ever wanted. Well, almost everything
Felix knew since he was 14 years old that he loved you. Part of him had hoped that once he was in Korea, his heart would finally stop beating only for you, but it never happened. He had dated a little, but no one had compared to you. With time, he became accustomed to the idea of never falling in love with anyone else.
It was a thought he accepted without so much difficulty. He couldn't help how his heart started speeding up whenever you were close to him. The reassuring feeling of having you by his side. The way your smile made him see stars. The way you cuddled into his side or held his hand, how your gaze lit up whenever you saw the sea, and how he was the one you reached for when you were sad, angry, or just disgustingly happy. He wanted to experience everything with you, every high and every low. He couldn't and didn't want to imagine himself doing life with anyone else. It would be this or nothing else, and he was comfortable with that.
After all these years, he had never found the courage to tell you. The fear of losing you paralyzed him. But as he looked at the joyful sea, breathed the fresh Australian air, and looked at you laughing and fighting fiercely against an uncooperative beach chair, he thought maybe this vacation was the time. The time to face his fears, as he did almost seven years ago to chase his dream, and see where it would lead him.
"Felix!" called Changbin, interrupting his train of thought. "Come and walk with us! We want to see how far the beach goes in that direction."
He lifted his head with a smile, looking at his friends waiting for him, bare feet in the sand.
"Hurry!" you waved. "We don't want to miss the sunset!"
It had been months since he had seen you so excited, so eager. He knew you loved coming with them on tour. But he also knew Australia would always own your heart.
"Alright, alright. I'm coming!"
He swatted the sand away from his shorts before walking to your little group.
You started walking on the beach, Felix close to you. Seungmin, I.N, Hyunjin, and Changbin ahead, busy taking pictures in front of the rose-colored sunset. Bang Chan and Lee Know were trying to start your little fire while Han prepared the perfect playlist. Suddenly, you recognized the familiar air of their song, 'The View'. You looked back to Han with a huge smile. He simply winked and gave you a thumbs-up before focusing on his phone once more.
The notes of the music danced around you, making the ambiance even more special. There was something in the air, a prickling, exciting feeling.
You swayed gently to the music as Felix snapped a few pictures. The two oldest near the fire, Han next to the speaker, the boys walking ahead, the sunset. He seemed to be on a mission to commit everything to memory.
You felt his focus shift and noticed he subtly tried taking pictures of you. You walked up to him with a soft smile.
"Are you taking pictures of me, sir?" "I might be," he smiled back, his dimples on display. "Well, I'm afraid you need permission for that…" you continued, taking a step closer.
Without giving him a second to interpret your movement, you stole his phone with a squeal of victory.
"Come back here!" He protested, but you ran as fast as you could to Changbin, giving him the phone. As you expected, he sprinted in the opposite direction while laughing like a dolphin.
"You think you're funny or something?" asked a slightly out of breath Felix as he reached you.
"In fact, I do."
You splashed him and ran off while giggling like a maniac. As hoped, your antics started a generalized water war. Felix kept running after you, deciding he needed to get vengeance while the other boys splashed each other. You laughed wildly and ran in the shallow waters, not daring to look back and give him a chance to reach you.
You had water up to your knees by the time you heard him whine, "Wait! Y/n! You're gonna get all wet."
You turned around with a taunting look in your eyes. "Felix Lee, has the idol lifestyle gotten to you?" You gave him a pitying look. "Have you forgotten all about your Australian roots? Are you scared of a little water?"
A little taunting was usually all it took for you to rile up your best friend, and tonight would be no different. His eyes scrunched with determination, "Oh, you just wait till I get my hands on you." He tried threatening you, but you didn't give him a chance as you dove into the clear water.
Without a second thought, he jumped in after you, fully clothed. He barely broke the surface when you jumped on him from behind and tried to push him back underwater. He managed to take ahold of your wrists, careful not to clamp too hard. You took a deep breath, ready to be ducked under, but he softly made you twirl in the water. You gave him a surprised look as he winked and let you go benevolently.
Complete elation seized you as the beautiful young man looked at you with that smile of his, hair slicked back from the water, a light illuminating his soft eyes.
"I love Australia! I love the beach! I love being in the water! I love this night!!!" you screamed as you threw your arms in the air.
The other boys looked in your direction with giant smiles, drenched in water. The ever-present professional idol aura in their demeanor was nowhere in sight. They shone with pure happiness. For once, they could be only themselves, away from cameras and personas. Your heart sang with happiness for them.
"I love being home!" screamed Chan. "I love Australian BBQ!" added Changbin. "I love vacations!" said I.N "I love to splash Grandpa Chan!" joked Seungmin. "I love sunsets!" screamed Hyunjin. "I love water wars!" laughed Han. "I love cats!" finished Lee Know.
All eyes turned to Felix, the only one who hadn't said anything yet. His soft gaze set on you, the intensity taking the breath away from your lungs. He rallied his breath and screamed. "I LOVE YOU!"
The boys all went silent. You stared at him in disbelief.
"I love you. I love you so much. I always have, and I always will. Since we were kids, no one has ever meant the same to me. I love being here with you. I love being anywhere around the world with you. I love seeing you smile. I love the way you're so passionate. I- I don't want anyone else." It occurred to Felix that this was maybe not the right way to do this, as he noticed the silence surrounding him, but he kept going. "I know this is probably so out of pocket for you. You probably don't believe this is real, but I assure you it is. Since I was 14, I've been thinking of the right way to say this to you. I never thought it would happen like this but it feels right. So right, to finally tell you while you're at the place you love most and where I can see you shine brighter than ever."
You stared at him before a smile tugged at your lips, and you suddenly screamed. "I LOVE YOU!" He stood there with his arms limp at his side. Your words shocked him, and his mouth opened before he asked, "You love me?"
The light of disbelief shining in his eyes made your heart tighten. "Of course, I love you Lix. Honestly, I'm not sure how you didn't notice it," you added with a sheepish smile.
He took a step towards you, "You love me?" "Yes." Another. "You're sure?" you nodded with a bright smile. He was right in front of you, his arms a millimeter from wrapping around your body. "You love, love me?"
"OF COURSE I LOVE LOVE YOU. ALWAYS HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL." You leaped in his arms, water splashing around.
"SHE LOVES HIM!" Screamed the seven other boys in unison.
You smiled as you put your lips on his, barely registering the ruckus of your friends running for the two of you, throwing water around to celebrate the long-awaited moment you two idiots would realize you had been pinning for each other for years.
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rainbow-beanie · 8 months
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My favorite scene from episode 7, say hello to Rosie!
Alastor and Rosie’s friendship means so much to me 🥹
Also she’s another person Al feels comfortable around, and I can’t put into words how fundamentally special that is, especially in a place such as hell where you’d be expected to keep your guard up at all times
Alastor’s little wave at the beginning is fricking adorable, and I can’t get enough of it 🥰
Also alastor has no idea about himself being asexual, but Rosie does cause she’s known him for so long. Either that or she took one look at him the first time they met and was like “yup, this man is asexual” but admires him all the same 
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ma4chestier · 4 months
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watched haikyuu dumpster battle yesterday and BOY do i fricking LOVE VOLLEYBALL
spoilers ahead!
the way kenma's "keep interesting" was portrayed was waaay better than expected, like, i knew it was a tense moment between kenma and hinata but when he said it in the movie i pissed my pants that was SCARY AS HELL
Kenma you will always be famous
AND FUCKING KUROO. I LOVE THIS MAN SO MUCH. I letarlly screamed when he laughed at the end
Its a shame i get to see it in a country were it isnt very popular, since i was the only lunatic who screamed the whole time, i was shushed twice and almost got kicked out of the theaters.
Bitch its the premier!!?!? Of fucking haikyuu?!!? The dumpster battle??!!?! The match i have been waiting to see animated since 2018!?!!??! LET ME BE HAPPY
Ngl i cryed real tears when kageyama put the ball up for hinata and said "now fly", it was fantastic
I managed to conivnce some friends to go with me and i actually punched them out of excitement every time anyone recieved the ball in a rally, im really sorry guys
I remember being told that furudate used to make horror mangas and IT SHOWS, when i read the match for the first time i got goosebumps in a whole bunch of panels, and the movie MADE THOSE PANELS PERFECT IM SHAKING
AND THE WAY KENMA WAS PANTING AND SHAKING AND THE SCENE CHANGED!!??!??! OH MY FUCKING GOOOODDDD
And daishou at the end- that was a gift from heaven, thank you very much
The only thing i wouldve wanted more of the movie it would be the coaches backstories, the real shit
Like, nekomata and ukkei friendship was jsut so fucking wholesome they were besties and rivals and they pushed each other to their limits and motivated each other and they never got to play a real match against each ither in high school so they became coaches and their schools were rivals and they were PEAK and then ukkai got sick and nekomata retired just to both of them be back in play, and then ukkai getting sick again and keishin taking his place and THE FRICKING HANDSHAKE DID HAPOEN AND I SCREAMED AND CRIED AND SHOUTED AND AND AND I WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT THEM
Aaaaaaaaaa this was supposed to be shorter but im way too excited about this freaks playing volleyball to not say the least. I think ive never done a post this long. Or a post in general, i just repost shit, thats the blog's name lol
Anyways, bokuaka canon and i can die happy now
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c0zm4z · 2 months
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plz DNI if u like or support dip (pip x damien)
ok so b4 I start, I’ll like 2 talk ab pip’s trauma that is CANON btw to his character, so pls pls pls listen. pip’s parents both died around when pip was just born, and because of that, he needed his sister to raise him, who was older then him. she would constantly abuse him physically and mentally (proof in ‘pip’ episode) and pip has likely grown very use to it as he barely minds it anymore. note he is only 8 years old at this time and his mind is still developing. everything else is watchable on the ‘pip’ episode that you’ll probably need paramount+ to watch, but I’m pretty sure it’s also available on YT if u look hard enough. onto how I hate dip so much.
why I hate dip: it’s pretty obviously toxic. Damien makes it very clear he hates pip, and at the near end of the episode, he blows up pip in an explosion. At some point afterwards, he drops down, and this is where the excuse of dip is actually not that bad comes from; pip doesn’t seem to care what happened. now, this is why I explained pip’s trauma earlier. pip was abused so commonly as a child, so much so I’d be convinced he has no self care and likely depression because of it. he “doesn’t seem to care” because he HAS no care ab himself and what happens. he only knows himself getting hurt is regular, and Damien doing that isn’t just an excuse for your ship, it’s a genuine trauma response that mostly everyone ignored.
People will also mention that Damien has likely been taught that other people’s emotions don’t matter, because he is quite literally the son of Satan. I do entirely agree with everybody who says that, because yeah: he’s the son of Satan. however, pip doesn’t see that. he never saw that the entire time he was with Damien. he saw Damien as just another kid. so, Damien doesn’t make pip sympathetic. not empathetic either. pip was fricking blown up by Damien. pip is scared of this demon kid, he sees pip like any of the main 4 now. not in love, not head over heels. TERRIFIED.
so yeah. dip isn’t healthy. in summary incase ur busy, pip’s childhood trauma of abuse and neglect makes Damien’s abuse justified in his eyes, and that’s NOT healthy in ANY relationship, because Damien has shown that he could care less for Pip’s safety and friendship.
ty for listening to my yap session
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positivexcellence · 3 months
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‘Walker’: Jared Padalecki & Anna Fricke On Finding Closure In Series Finale Despite Premature Cancellation
If it were up to series star Jared Padalecki and showrunner Anna Fricke, Walker would be continuing its run on The CW. But, if it had to end, they’re glad to send it off with the Season 4 finale on Wednesday night.
“I’m heartbroken. I love the show. I love the cast and the crew. I am and will be eternally grateful for the four years we had with each other and the friendships and relationships that I made. But right now, It’s tough,” Padalecki told Deadline of ending the show’s run. “I know it’ll be around for people to watch and rewatch. So I’m grateful for that, but I’m certainly gonna miss it.”
Walker was officially canceled in May, and Fricke said they were unaware of the fate of the show when writing the finale. As “there’s always a risk in network television,” she explained that she tried to bring enough stories to a satisfying conclusion while leaving threads to explore in a potential Season 5.
This season, Walker struggled with an empty nest as Stella (Violet Brinson) and August (Kale Culley) began to branch out on their own. After four seasons of trying to find a work-life balance, he finally takes a step back from his Ranger duties to spend some extended time with his family and informs newly minted Lt. Cassie Perez that he’ll be taking a leave of absence.
“It really was about getting the family to a good place. They are on to their next chapter,” Fricke said. “That moment when the family drives off together, the kids and Walker and Geri, feels like some sort of closure in a way. In a perfect world, [it would have] gone on and there would be more stories and more complications, but they do seem like they’re in a good place.”
Padalecki gives kudos to the writers for where they leave Walker, because “that’s how I feel right now,” he says.
“I’ve had this job for 20 years. There’s never been a week of new television where I haven’t been No. 1 on the call sheet of an hour long show. I’m still grieving, and I probably will for a while. But I feel really excited to spend more time with my wife, our children…the rest of my family, my friends. So I’m happy for Walker, I think,” he said. “I’m bummed that he’s not on the next job, because I know he loves being a dog with a bone and getting his work done, but I’m so happy he gets to take this break and reset and spend time with his loved ones.”
As the cancellation decision loomed, Fricke revealed the network gave her the opportunity to make changes to the final episode to give audiences more closure, but she opted not to.
“It didn’t sit well with me to try to wrap up the whole series with one revised scene,” she explained. “It seemed too rushed and too hurried, and it would have felt tacked on. So we opted to leave the finale as it was.”
However, she did take the network up on their offer to air an extended version of the episode, which allowed for a few more scenes that she thinks viewers will appreciate, including a rare scene with the entire Walker family.
“It was the last family scene that everyone was in together,” she remembered. “It took forever to get it because everyone was emotional…it wasn’t a pivotal scene, or anything like that. It was just a fun energy with all of them there, which was always my favorite thing. So I’m really glad that that made it back in.”
Coincidentally, Padalecki also remembered that scene fondly, telling Deadline “it just felt like a nice goodbye both on camera and off….I’m excited for that, because you feel the love that we all have for each other.”
At least, Fricke jokes, nobody was kidnapped or on the brink of death when the credits rolled. Instead, the things left up to the viewers’ imagination are largely positive, like Walker’s eventual proposal to Geri (Odette Annable).
In the episode, there’s one quick shot of Walker admiring the engagement ring inside its box before tucking it into his pocket and meeting his family outside. She says that to include the actual proposal would have felt “too soon.”
“Walker said this to Emily in a flashback. She said, ‘What will you do if I’m gone?’ And he said, ‘Marry Geri and work at Sidestep.’ And that was always kind of a joke for what the end of the series would be,” she said. “But in my mind, I didn’t want to get all the way to a proposal…I don’t think they’re there yet.”
If there’s one thing Fricke is most disappointed she won’t get to explore, it’s James Van Der Beek’s arc as Walker’s new neighbor — a full circle moment for the showrunner, whose first TV job was on Dawson’s Creek.
In the final moments of the episode, Van Der Beek pulls up to the house as Walker and his family are headed on their vacation and, even though the moment is fleeting, it hints at a deliciously dramatic storyline for Season 5.
“It was gonna be a cool. We had big plans for Season 5,” Fricke said. “Well, maybe there’ll be a movie.”
Well, whatever iteration of Walker may or may not come next, Fricke adds that she has plenty of ideas to explore.
“Even from the first whisper of maybe this is the end, the producers were all talking about, ‘How do we keep this going? What do we spin off? What do we do?'” she said. “I think these are great characters and a great world and I absolutely love working with the crew in Austin. So we definitely think about it a lot.”
When asked if she could divulge any of her ideas, she teased: “We always wanted to do the Hawk’s Shadow story. I would really follow any of these characters. I really always wanted to see more out of any of them. I would follow any of them anywhere, to be honest.”
deadline
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