#friends don’t look at friends that way

[fangirlprincess-writes]

Friends Don't Look At Friends That Way - Chapter 5: Age 16 (after the summer)

cw: mentions of cheating

word count: 2.019

read on AO3 || masterlist

sorry it took me so long to post! i started university in october and things have been a little stressful! i'll try to find a more regular posting schedule though! meanwhile, have fun with this and don't hate me pls.

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chapter summary: the one about first heartbreak

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School started back up a month and a half ago and Aelin already feels like she needs a vacation again. And judging by her friends' faces, they can see it too. 

"You look terrible, babes," Lys tells her that morning in the car and Nehemia nods in agreement.

"Thank you," Aelin says, her words dripping with sarcasm. 

"You know what I mean," Lys just rolls her eyes. 

"I do," Aelin sighs. 

"Wanna talk about it?" Lysandra gives Aelin a gentle nudge with her arm, never taking her eyes off the road.

"I just cannot believe how stressful school is all of a sudden!" Aelin bursts out. "I mean, junior year just started but already our teachers are telling us that we need to start thinking about our futures, and what colleges we want to apply for, and to plan accordingly. And don't get me started on SAT prep!"

"Hey, that's understandable," Nehemia's calm voice interjects from the backseat. "But don't stress yourself out too much right now. There's still a lot of time left for you to think about all those things."

"I guess," Aelin says noncommittally. "I'm just having a hard time accepting the fact we're more than halfway done with high school. The future just seems so much closer now than it did before the summer."

"I know what you mean," Lys agrees. "But it won't get less scary if you worry about it all the time."

"That's true," Nehemia interjects and puts a comforting hand on Aelin's shoulder. "How about we get together this weekend and make a plan."

"A plan?" Aelin asks. 

"Yes, a plan," Nehemia continues. "We'll write down all the deadlines we have, like the SAT test day, college applications, and whatever else, and then we'll write down the things we need to do until then. Maybe it helps if we cut it up into bite-size pieces rather than trying to eat the whole cake."

"That actually sounds really good,'" Lys agrees. 

"It does." Aelin can't believe her luck. She has two amazing friends who not only endure her worries, but also help her through them. "But now I want cake," she groans and they all laugh.

The first half of the day goes by quickly, though Aelin has even more assignments now. She makes her way to the cafeteria for lunch when Remelle steps out of a classroom and almost bumps into Aelin. Remelle can just stop herself at the last second.

"Whoa, hi there," Aelin says. 

"Oh, sorry. I didn't see you," Remelle shrugs.

"No problem," Aelin chuckles awkwardly. "Were you going to lunch?"

Remelle gives her a look that Aelin translates as Well, duh, where else would I be going at lunch-time. "Yes," she says after a moment.

"Great. Me too." Aelin wants a hole to open underneath her to save her from this conversation. They start walking together in silence and Aelin is frantically trying to come up with something to talk about. "So, what class did you just have?"

"Math." Remelle seems equally unmotivated to find a topic of conversation.

"I hate math." Aelin comments, not sure what else to say.

"Yeah, same." 

Finally, they arrive at their lunch table. Remelle goes to greet her friends and Aelin plops down on a bench between Chaol and Nehemia. She gives Chaol a quick peck on the cheek, not wanting to interrupt his conversation with Lorcan, who is sitting a bit further down the table.

 Lys, who is sitting across from her, gives a pointed look in Remelle's direction and then raises an eyebrow at Aelin. 

"We ran into each other on the way here and then walked together," Aelin explains. 

It's no secret that Aelin doesn't really know how to interact with Remelle. Even though Rowan has been dating her for what, almost seven months now, Aelin has never really talked to her. 

"How was that?" Lys asks.

"The usual. Anyways, what are we talking about?"

"We were talking about going to see a movie this afternoon. Do you wanna come?" Nehemia asks.

"Sure! I'm gonna tutor this freshman today, but we can go after that." Aelin tells her friends.

"Yeah, that's fine," Lys tells her.

Chaol, now done, looks at her. "What's fine?" 

"We're gonna go see a movie this afternoon," Aelin tells him. "Do you wanna come?"

"I took my bike today," Chaol grimaces at her. 

"I can drive us there and then just drop you off at school again so you can bike home from here. Then it's not as far?" Aelin suggests. 

"Sure," he says, giving her a kiss and getting up. 

"Wait, where are you going? Lunch isn't over for another," she quickly glances at the clock,"thirty minutes."

"Yeah, I know, babe. But I have to go talk to Mr Cooper about one of my assignments and he told me to come to him during lunch." He gives a shrug that says What can you do? 

"Okay. See you later then?" 

He gives her a nod and makes his way out of the cafeteria.

Her friends have meanwhile started discussing something to do with their history class. Aelin takes that opportunity to tune them out a bit and glance over at Rowan, who is sitting on the opposite bench, a bit further down the table. He and Fenrys are deep in conversation and Aelin lets herself look at him for five seconds, before moving her gaze along. She hasn't had one-on-one time with Rowan in more than two months now, and their school interactions were also getting few and far in-between. He is pretty busy with Lacrosse at the moment, to make sure he gets to keep his permanent spot on the roster for the year. But Aelin just misses him sometimes. 

Movement close to Rowan catches her eye again. Lithaen, one of Remelle's best friends, just got up from the table and Remelle is laughing at her. 

"Really, Li, you have to do your homework during lunch again? You really gotta get better with your time-management."

Lithaen just gives a self-deprecating shrug and smiles at her friend. When she turns to leave, she sees Aelin watching her and her smile dims. 

Aelin turns back to her friends and joins the conversation again.

Ten minutes before lunch is over, Aelin slaps her hand against her forehead. Both Nehemia and Lys look at her as if she's just lost her mind. 

"What's wrong?" Nehemia wants to know.

"I just remembered I was actually supposed to meet up with Ms Garcia during lunch so that she can give me the lesson plans for the tutoring." Aelin stands and quickly gathers her stuff. "I hope I'll still catch her. See you later, guys," she throws over her shoulder.

She leaves the cafeteria in a hurry and turns the corner to the hallway that leads to the classrooms, only to promptly run into someone. 

"I'm so sorry," Aelin apologizes. 

"Don't worry about it," a deep voice says.

"Oh, Mr Cooper! Is Chaol already done talking with you?"

"Chaol? No, I haven't seen him at all today. Did I miss an appointment with him?"

"Oh, no… He just said… Forget it." Aelin gives the teacher a smile and continues to Ms Garcia's classroom. She wonders where Chaol went if he wasn't with Mr Cooper. Maybe he just misspoke and meant a different teacher? She thinks about texting him to ask where he was but decides against it. He sometimes gets angry when she asks where he was when she couldn't reach him.

Rain is battering against the roof of Aelin's car. It almost manages to drown out the soft music playing over her phone's speaker. 

It's afternoon a few days later and school has been out for a while now, but Aelin is waiting for Chaol. Lacrosse practice ended a little bit ago and she's here to pick him up. They want to do a coffee-date.

Aelin checks the time. It's been over fifteen minutes now since practice ended. Usually Chaol should be here by now. She looks through her window and contemplates texting him to see what's taking him so long when she sees Rowan marching toward her car. Chaol is hot on his heels, holding his hand over his nose and sending a death-glare at Rowan.

It takes her a moment to process what she's seeing. As Rowan comes closer, she gets a better view of his face. Aelin has never seen him look this angry in all their years of knowing each other. He doesn't seem to be angry at her though, which just makes the whole situation weirder. 

She gets out of the car to talk to them and Rowan has almost reached her. As soon as she closes the door behind her, Rowan catches her eye and there's this look on his face that makes her stomach churn. 

"Oh my god, what happened?" She isn't sure who she is directing the question at.

Rowan's eyes flash with sympathy and she just knows that something bad happened.

"Tell her." Rowan's words are biting and directed at Chaol. "Tell her what you did."

Chaol takes his hands off his face and Aelin can see he was cradling his nose. There's blood all over his hands and face. "I did nothing! You just hit me!" Chaol accuses.

Rowan had done this? Her soft-spoken best friend who'd never gotten into a fight his whole life?

"Don't lie to her," Rowan snaps, his words laced with barely-contained fury.

"I'm not lying! I don't know what you think you saw, but–"

Aelin has a feeling she knows where this is going to go. A heavy weight settles in her stomach. "Tell me what happened."

"Your friend just hit me out of nowhere!" Chaol looks at her, indignation written all over his features.

"Not you," Aelin says cooly, leveling her gaze at Rowan. "Rowan. Tell me what happened."

 The look he gives her is full of something that looks an awful lot like pity. "I saw him with Lithaen. They were kissing. I'm sorry, Aelin."

Aelin's ears start ringing. She turns her head to Chaol and only asks two words. "How long?"

Chaol's gaze flits between her and Rowan and she can see his thoughts play out on his face. He knows she'll always believe Rowan over anyone, that there's no point in denying it anymore. So he just answers her question. "Since the summer."

Aelin's brain has already been trying to figure out the how and the when and there's an obvious answer. "So all those weekends and afternoons you were too busy with 'family stuff' or 'homework' to hang out? And when you disappeared in school?"

He levels her with a pitying look and opens his mouth to speak, but Aelin just about had it with boys and their pity for one day.

"I changed my mind. Don't answer that," she quickly says before Chaol can get a word out. 

She looks at the both of them for a moment, Chaol already seeming like he is over the whole situation and trying to get a look at his nose to assess the damage and Rowan eyeing her like she might collapse at any moment and she does not want to deal with either of them for a second longer. "I'm going to leave now," she announces, her gaze focused on Chaol. "But just in case it wasn't clear already: we're over." Chaol just gives her a nod.

She turns around and opens her car door when she hears Rowan come closer. 

"Aelin," he starts.

She turns toward him. "No. I just… I can't right now." She sits down in the driver's seat and looks up at Rowan who still stands close to her open door. "Thank you, though. For telling me."

"Of course," he nods, "Tell me if you need anything."

All Aelin can do is nod as she closes the car door. She starts the engine and makes it all the way home and into her driveway, before she puts the car in park, lets her head fall down against the steering wheel and starts to sob.

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thanks for reading! let me know your thoughts and theories in the comments or reblogs! <3

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tag list:

@yafandomsnet

@rowanaelinn

@thegreyj 

@elentiyawhitethorn

[castleclericz]

u wanna say byler is completely platonic?? ok fine. yea i’ve had friendships just like theirs actually

but they all ended up being queer friendships where we both were crushing on each other and didn’t know if it was okay to do anything about it

[thefreakyousawatyourschool]

Lovers Friends don’t look at lovers friends that way.

❌❤️❌

[rickybaby]

Not just a pretty face:

[stuckinapril]

so unimpressed w men rn. it’s just so whatever

[lavaflowe]

Receiving a gift from the Universe

Close ups:

[smilesrobotlover]

*head in hands* oot link is such a tragic character and it makes me so sad

[kicktwine]

the urge to just grab both twins’ heads and make absolutely sure they know how good they are they’re so good you’re so so good !! you’re such good kids!! you’re so good you’re so good!! is getting a little too strong to handle over here

[ct-multifandom]

I don’t usually make posts like this, but I’ve been seeing a lot of anti-intellectual junk lately, and I really think we need to put the word “pretentious” up on a shelf until people learn what it actually means.

It doesn’t describe someone who likes artsy-fartsy deep meaning media. People who are pretentious are fake. They’re posers trying to be sophisticated and unique, not like other girls. They pretend to only like stuff they think will make them sound cool when they talk about it. They want to act like they know something you don’t, and they want attention for it.

By definition, if you genuinely enjoy something, you can’t be pretentious. If it resonates with you, and you analyze it, and you don’t care what people think, that’s the polar opposite, actually. If you love obscure experimental prog music, if you watch underground high concept indie films through English teacher eyes, if you spend hours in a modern art museum reading each piece as a vessel for storytelling, if your backpack’s full of poetry books that inspire you, if you play underrated games that were someone’s passion project, if you have an interest in studying the classics or the masters, you are not pretentious.

Of course, some people just don’t like some stuff, and that’s fine, but that’s not what this is about. Don’t let anti-intellectuals shame you for enjoying things just because your interests are inaccessible to them, because they refuse to be brave and put effort into critical thinking. You’re not stuck up for refusing to overlook the craft of artists.

[gamerwoo]

really sucks when you realize you and a friend have just kind of grown up as two different people and don’t mesh together like you used to and like you have so much history you don’t wanna let go of but you’re absolutely miserable in the friendship

[fangirlprincess-writes]

Friends Don't Look At Friends That Way - Chapter 4: Age 16 (during the summer)

cw: none

word count: 1.941

read on AO3 || masterlist

*drops chapter, laughs nervously and slowly backs away*

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chapter summary: the one about first love

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"Go, Rowan!" The shout echoes over the volleyball field where Rowan and a few others from the Lacrosse team are currently playing beach-volleyball. Before, Aelin would have been the one to shout the encouragement at her best friend. Now, it is his girlfriend who does that. 

It's a beautiful and sunny afternoon in mid-July and Aelin and her friends are hanging out at the beach. She never would've guessed that she would be friends with the sports clique, but here she is; her best friend climbing the ranks of the lacrosse team and dating one of the cheerleaders, and her, dating the lacrosse team's goalie. She and Chaol have been together since March now, when he'd officially asked her to be his girlfriend, and Aelin couldn't be happier. 

Right now, she's lying on a beach towel in her bikini next to Lysandra and Nehemia, who are also cheerleaders. Even though Aelin isn't part of any of their school's numerous sports teams, she has become well acquainted with most members of the lacrosse team and most of the cheerleaders, simply because she is spending so much time around them: during lunch at school, at the practices she watches, and at the game's after-parties. 

A few other girls, including Remelle, are lying on a towel closer to the field and watching the game. The boys had quickly decided that simply lying in the sun is way too boring, so they'd procured a volleyball (from where, Aelin truly doesn't know as, to her knowledge, no one has brought one) and started a game.

Rowan and Chaol are on one team and as far as Aelin can tell, they are losing. Aelin grimaces a bit. Chaol could get a tad competitive sometimes. But never mind, she'll just have to take his mind off it. For now, she goes back to her conversation with the other girls.

"Lys, you have to tell me where you got that bikini," Nehemia is just saying. "It looks stunning on you."

Lysandra laughs. "Oh stop, Nehemia. Have you seen yourself in that bathing suit?" 

Aelin joins in. "You guys both look amazing and you know it." She rolls her eyes good-naturedly.

"Oh, and so do you, little miss sunshine," Lysandra teases her.

"What do you mean?" Now Aelin is the one to laugh.

"Oh, just that you've been smiling a lot lately," Nehemia jumps in. "Are things going good with Chaol?"

Aelin's cheeks warm a bit. She's not used to talking to people about her relationship yet, even though it's been almost four months.

Lysandra conspiratorially leans over to Nehemia. "Uuh, she's blushing! That means yes."

"Stop it, you guys," Aelin has to laugh again. "Yes, things are going good. We've almost been together for four months now!"

"Oh my god, that's true!" Nehemia smiles at her. "Any special plans?"

"Yes, like maybe some hanky-panky?" Lysandra suggestively wiggles her eyebrows.

"Hanky-panky?" Nehemia snorts. "How old are you?"

Aelin can't help but agree, though her smile dims slightly. Lysandra notices. "What is it? Have you guys not…?"

"No, not yet," Aelin answers, catching her meaning. "I just don't think I'm ready yet."

"Hey, that's okay," Lysandra tells her. 

"Yes, it's good that you know your boundaries," Nehemia agrees. 

"I know," Aelin tells them, but her smile is still not fully back.

"What is it then?" Nehemia looks at her imploringly.

"It's just…" Aelin starts, but doesn't know how to explain. 

"Hey, we're here to listen if you want." Lys reaches out and gently squeezes her arm.

She smiles in thanks. "I know. It's just sometimes when Chaol and I are making out, he takes off my shirt and stuff–and I'm okay with that," she quickly interjects, already seeing her friend's expressions turn mutinous. "But then he always tries to take it further and take off my pants as well, but I tell him to stop, because I'm not there yet, and I think he's losing his patience a bit."

"Have you tried talking to him about this when you're not in the middle of making out?" Nehemia's question is gentle.

She shakes her head no. "Not yet."

"Then maybe try that sometime," Lysandra suggests. "Then you can talk about your expectations and boundaries and you won't feel like he's forcing you to do something you don't want to."

"He's not forcing me to do anything," Aelin is quick to say.

"That's good," Nehemia tells her. "But it might feel that way if you don't talk about it."

Aelin supposes she can see the logic in that. "Thanks for the advice, guys."

"Always," they say.

"Now, let's ogle some lacrosse players, what do you say?" Lysandra's suggestion elicits another fit of laughter among them. 

"What's so funny?" A shadow suddenly falls over them and Aelin looks up.

"Babe!" She's surprised the game is already over. "Did you win?"

"Not today." He looks a bit disappointed by that.

"Then let me take your mind off it," she offers.

The other girls let out wolf whistles. 

"Oh stop it guys," Aelin laughs.

She and Chaol take a little walk along the shore. He takes her hand in his and intertwines their fingers, and with the sun shining on them, Aelin is perfectly happy. Then, when they're a bit away from the others, he stops her and turns her toward him. His lips come down to meet hers in a kiss and Aelin meets him eagerly. Their kisses now are nothing like that first awkward one during spin the bottle all those months ago. His lips are soft as always and his chin has a slight hint of stubble that tickles her. She can feel his tongue glide along the seam of her mouth and opens for him. This, Aelin thinks, she'll never get sick of. The taste of him in her mouth and his scent in her nose. The combination overwhelms her and makes it impossible to think about anything else. She wishes she could stay in this state forever. 

After a while they go back to where the others are just starting to pack up the towels and put some of their clothes back on. Aelin sees Rowan standing with Remelle, her hands on his neck, his on her waist and their lips locked. She looks away. 

Aelin guesses she should be used to it by now, their public displays of affection. Rowan and Remelle have been together since February, after all. That night of the party really has changed everything, Aelin has been right about that. But it doesn't matter how often she sees the two of them kissing, and they kiss a lot, there's always this slight tug in her stomach that makes her avert her eyes. 

When she looks back in their direction (because even though she doesn't want to, sometimes she can't help herself), luckily they have stopped kissing. Rowan is actually looking right at her, a smile blooming on his face when he catches her gaze. 

"Ace! A few others and Melle and I are going to eat something. Do you want to come?"

She gives him a smile back and turns to look at Chaol. "Do we wanna join? I could eat."

He gives her an apologetic look. "I actually can't, babe, I promised my mom we'd do family dinner tonight."

Aelin frowns. "Okay. Well, have fun then."

"Thanks." He leans down to give her a quick goodbye kiss and then heads towards the parking lot.

Aelin turns back to Rowan. "Well, it's just gonna be me, but yes, I'm in. Where are we going?"

"Just to Marion's."

"Sounds good."

"Do you need a ride or did you drive?"

"I came with Chaol, so a ride would be good."

"And he just left?" A slight frown mars Rowan's features.

"Well, he has a family dinner and I wanted to come with you guys," Aelin defends her boyfriend. Rowan does this sometimes, subtly criticizing things Chaol does. As if he wasn't the one who left her to go home alone at that party all those months ago because he wanted to stay. If it hadn't been for Chaol, she would have been left alone.

Rowan seems to accept this. "Let's go then."

Marion's is a nice, vintage-looking diner in the heart of Orynth. It's actually quite close to their school, so it's a popular hangout spot. This afternoon, it's only half-full, most people making the most of the nice weather, which means Aelin and the others have plenty of space to choose from. 

They go for a booth in the back, Rowan, Remelle and Connall, Fenrys's brother, sliding in one one side and Aelin and Fenrys taking seats on the other.

"Melle, didn't Lithaen want to come as well?" Rowan asks.

Remelle shrugs. "She said she forgot she has to babysit her brother tonight."

"Oh, okay then," Rowan says and starts to hand out menus.

Aelin is in the middle of deciding whether to get a burger with fries or just the burger, when a friendly voice asks, "What can I get you guys today?" 

The others start giving their orders and finally it's Aelin's turn. "I'll take a peach iced tea and the cheeseburger with fries, please," she tells Elide, their waitress. 

"I like me a woman who can eat," Fenrys says, looking appreciatively at her. 

"You wish," she says, shoving his arm. 

He looks over at her, mock outrage in his eyes, a hand dramatically clutching his chest. "You wound me! Here I am, baring my heart to you, and you so callously reject me."

Aelin lets out a cackle. "You're amazing, Fen."

 "I don't think I will recover," Fenrys continues, undeterred. "Connall, do you remember the arrangements for my funeral?"

"Delete your search history," his brother deadpans and the whole table bursts out in laughter. 

They talk a bit more about a new movie they might watch together soon, when Fenrys excuses himself to go to the bathroom. 

Aelin is looking at Connall, who is telling a story about a date gone wrong in a movie theater, when she feels a nudge against her leg. She looks over at Rowan, who gives her a little frown. "What?" she asks, confused. 

"I didn't know you and Fenrys were such good friends," he simply says, his voice low. 

The questions throws her for a second. Is Rowan actually complaining she has friends?

"I have other friends than you," she says, and if her tone is slightly colder than normal, that's okay too. It's his fault after all that she even had to look for other people to hang out with at all. Once he started Lacrosse, he became very busy with practices and games and after-parties, and when he and Remelle started dating, he started having even less time for her. 

"Yes, of course," Rowan answers, slightly taken aback. "I just didn't realize…"

Aelin lifts her eyebrow in question. "Didn't realize what?"

He looks at her for a moment, searching her face. "Nothing. Sorry, forget it."

Now she looks at him for a beat. "Okay." She turns back to Connall who is just reaching the end of his story.

It's weird, Aelin thinks, how she and Rowan aren't quite on the same wavelength anymore. He's her best friend and she knows him better than anyone, except… she's not even sure that's true anymore. 

Relationships change, she once heard her parents say. She doesn't remember whose relationship they were referring to at that moment, but she supposes the statement is universally true. Aelin just isn't sure whether she likes the changes that are happening between her and Rowan; or whether she is slowly losing her best friend.

---

let me know your thoughts and theories in the comments or reblogs! <3

---

tag list:

@yafandomsnet

@rowanaelinn

@thegreyj 

@elentiyawhitethorn

[simcardiac-arrested]

i am in some sort of bug hell

[cattons]

emerald fennell will get on her zoom and say [posh voice] Nooo no darling the rich people are the worrssstt. You’re supposed to side with the povvo. referring to the 130 minute film she helmed in which a family of prejudiced but loveable aristocrats are murdered and usurped by an upper middle class lunatic

[gremlin-pattie]

i am far from the first person to say this, but always sunny is a fucking love story at it’s core. it’s not a traditional one and it’s messy and confusing but there is so much LOVE

these terrible people care about each other so so much. they try to improve their lives and be good to each other, and they keep failing, but they stay together anyway because they need each other and they do care deep down, and maybe what matters is that they try at all

[stuckinapril]

I’m happy for the little life I built for myself

[milimeters-morales]

I don’t really have the right words but i like the idea of Hobie doing quick checks for people’s safety without even really moving too much, as both a skill learned from his childhood and just a way he would be anyway. Like let’s say Gwen is calling him and she’s crying but sounds very detached. Hobie’s gonna do a quick mental checklist like this: (Injured? -> Alone? -> Aware? -> Show up -> distract as hiding weapons -> calm her -> check speech -> move location? -> check for injury) and it gets more complex as need be. He’d do this with all his friends and the people he helps in general, and it’s a quick and barely noticeable process unless he tells you he’s even doing that, which he usually doesn’t. I also like to think he was kind of doing this when he was talking to Miles on the way to meet Miguel, just very toned down (for him).