#from “at the moment we aren't accepting new members” to “we won't be accepting new members” period

[toothpastewolf]

just a little thing i noticed, but in this last update the "are we able to join your team?" answer has changed from this

to this

could be nothing but just something i wanted to point out !!

[iwanthermidnightz]

On June 1, the indie-pop trio took some time off from festival season and opening for Taylor Swift on the Eras Tour to celebrate the LGBTQ+ community with a performance at New York City's historic Stonewall Inn for its annual Pride kick-off event presented by Jägermeister.

"What better and more iconic way to ring in the month than by doing this?" member Naomi McPherson tells PEOPLE of performing at Stonewall, where a 1969 police raid caused an uprising that sparked the modern LGBTQ+ rights movement.

The surreal nature of performing at the location as over 490 bills targeting LGBTQ+ rights are currently being considered by the U.S. government is not at all lost on the "Silk Chiffon" musicians, all of whom identify as queer. In fact, that's exactly why they were booked for the show.

"It's really important for the younger generation to understand what happened here in 1969 at Stonewall. We could have those rights taken away," says the bar's co-owner Stacy Lentz, who's also the CEO of its nonprofit, the Stonewall Inn Gives Back Initiative. "That's why it was important to get an up-and-coming, amazing, top-notch young group with so many followers out there that people love to come and perform at this event. We're really raising awareness about this horrific legislation that's happening."

MUNA recently wrapped a nationwide tour in support of their self-titled 2022 album, and many of the band's shows went down in states where LGBTQ+ individuals are being targeted. But according to the group members, audiences haven't been letting current events keep them from enjoying the music.

"It doesn't seem like people are allowing this legislative bullying to affect the way that they're showing up," says member Katie Gavin, before acknowledging the "real, active harm" many queer people are facing outside of concert venues. "I don't know how many people weren't at shows because they were being displaced from their community. I know that there are families in Texas right now that are actively being torn apart and kids being taken away from their parents who are supporting their transitions."

Despite the hardships, McPherson (who uses they/them pronouns) feels strongly that low moments will inspire LGBTQ+ individuals to fight harder to live their authentic lives. "It's inspiring that when more far-right fascism rears its head and starts coming for our community, we don't get deradicalized," says the musician, 30. "They're not scaring us into non-existence. There's more queer people who are out now in 2023 than ever before."

While queer adults who have seen anti-LGBTQ+ rights fluctuate throughout their lifetimes may be prepared to stay true to themselves, however, it's likely that ongoing legislation will lead many young people to fear their identities won't be embraced. Before Gavin, 30, came out as queer, she found a community of accepting individuals that made her feel comfortable to eventually do so — and encourages others to do the same.

"If you're getting a feeling that someone is a safe person, experiment with trusting your instincts and sharing whatever feels unspeakable," she says, noting that sometimes it's also necessary to do the opposite.

"There can be a lot of shame in cutting off support systems that aren't working for you. There's a lot of embedded pressure, I think, to hold onto your relationship with your blood relatives," continues Gavin. "But if you need to distance yourself and set boundaries, whether it's leaving the state that you're in or not talking to your mom anymore, do what you have to do and then ask for the help that you need to do it. I swear to God, you'll be happier."

Echoing their bandmate's statements, McPherson further emphasizes the importance of finding community for queer individuals: "That's how you'll build the systems of care that will be able to get you through the hard s---."

Following the Stonewall performance, MUNA returned to the road with Swift on the Eras Tour for a show in Gavin's Chicago hometown on June 4. The band will continue opening for the Grammy winner in Ohio, Missouri and Colorado later this summer — and they're excited, as the experience has been a blast.

"Watching the Taylor show is a lesson in being the best musician alive," says member Josette Maskin, 29. "She's honestly been nothing but wonderful to us, and we just feel so lucky and privileged to get the chance to even just watch the show, let alone perform. Her fans have been nothing but gracious to receive us on stage. So, it's just been f---ing awesome."

[theninthdoor]

chenle || a look into 2023 (part II); tarot reading

(In Part I: General View of His 2023 ⭒ His Role/Attitude ⭒ Swords || Mental State.)

⭒ Cups || Emotional State: cards: six of cups reversed, three of cups reversed

This one is quite simple… While he has outgrown his emotional connections, he might still be refusing to acknowledge it and adapt his behaviour, and so it becomes very messy very easily. There could be constant misunderstandings and petty fights, as everyone seems to be stuck in the past and refusing to act their age. They can't see eye to eye because they aren't able to look at each other as they are in the present moment. He's getting older (obviously lol), and so he could be having a hard time dealing with adulthood and how friendships are during this period of our lives. Things aren't as they were, people aren't the same as before, and sometimes that's hard to accept, leading then to a lot of loneliness and resentment. Growing up is bittersweet...

⭒ Pentacles || Career/Financial State: cards: three of pentacles reversed, four of pentacles

These were the exact same cards that we got for Jaehyun??? That does make me wonder if part of the delays and problems we'll be seeing with their careers is actually more general to NCT than specific to a member or two... Things just aren't running smoothly with them. Like I said here: "There isn’t a clear plan for how things will move forward, so it just feels like everybody is working against each other as they can’t come to an understanding." Now- I got two separate messages regarding this: First, a lot of things aren't being properly explained to the members. Everything is planned without their involvement, and only later is it present to them as a final something that they just have to execute. That's it. There could also be many people there that don't know each other well enough (and each other's work style), so that also makes it harder for the members to complete these tasks to the best of their abilities. Secondly, they can't even pretend to look excited and motivated anymore, since it just feels like all of their hardwork is for nothing. Their skills aren't being put to good use and many don't get the right opportunities to showcase their talents. (This is basically what I kept hearing: The stage is too full and we're all stepping on each other's toes.) At last, as we saw with Jaehyun, Chenle still has financial stablility in 2023, regardless of the disruptions that might come up in his career. Money might not come as abundantly as before, but he's certainly able to get a comfortable income.

⭒ Wands || Energy/Creative State: cards: ace of wands, two of wands reversed

2023 will be a very creative and active year for Chenle. He might start a new hobby (ie. a sport), or find a renewed passion for his current activities. He's taking initiative and thinking outside of the box, and perhaps even motivating others to do the same as a result of his drive and excitement. Chenle might become a little more daring and confident, as well. That could then be seen through his demeanour or style; or even through something career related, such as a new solo/group project or the usual YT content that they release every once in a while. Overall, he's just very excited to try something new that will keep him active and allow for his creativity to flow freely. However, he still might not be able to go as far as he would like to or he might not even want to go too far out of his current position. Either because of insecurities, lack of opportunities or inability to plan things out properly, he will hold himself back from venturing into places that aren't familiar to him yet. So, essentially, he's very active but we won't see any extreme progress.

(Disclaimer: all readings are alleged and for entertainment purposes only.)

[nenevergonnabeyou]

video log for migration

hi friends! i should really be working right now but i choose to write this instead, because fuck work (especially rose, victor, and matthew). i'm preparing this for when i finally leave. i'll try to write it like i'm speaking 'cause i can't speak in english without any scripts.

life was and is still a bit too much here. i was led to believe that after or during my senior years in dcnhs (my alma mater), i'd finally fly away with my sister and live a new life in switzerland. but i guess the universe had better (or worse) plans for me. that being said, i did not go to college after high school, still under the impression that things are only taking too slow because of the pandemic. and so i chose to work just out of boredom. i landed my first job after breaking up with my first gf, so yeah you can imagine the stress. i ditched it after not even 2 weeks of trying, and they ditched me when i asked for my pay. next job i had was a VERY low paying job but i felt like a millionaire every time i get my salary. i was in that job with alyssa for 2 months i guess? and then i worked as a chatter, i won't be mentioning what's it about but it was kinda chill and stressful at the same time. now i'm in that same job for 2 years already. since then, i had to step up and parent my sister. i gave her and my cousin the money they needed for school (baon). i take them out when i take myself out, so we we're like buy 1 take 2. i got my other cousin a secondhand motorcycle too because she needed it for school. i never contributed anything to the family's bills and food BUT because of my people-pleasing personality and because my guilt was eating me, i became their financial one call away. an emergency fund. each member of the family had or still has borrowed money from me. i keep that in mind all the time but i can't help but think that i'd be in a much better place if i weren't here (in our house lol i'm not sewy cider).

when i went to manila alone for the first time, i saw how big the world is. i thought to myself, "hala i could live here. i'm known for settling for less so there wouldn't be any problem as long as i have a bed to sleep on, a food to eat, and money to spend." i was so in the moment that i couldn't even think about davao. i never ignore any messages sent to me but i did, because i was in awe. not of the place of course, davao is much safer and cleaner. but the possibility of facing challenges in life there. alone. it felt like an eye opener. it was very hard to process though, 'cause i only stayed there for a week. people would tell me, "aren't you scared? you've only been there for a short time. you don't know anyone except from your online friends, that you only met once in person, and you only started talking to in february." but it's like i don't care what happens to me next, i just wanna do it. and that's it. i have decided.

before manila though, everything was already planned out. i'd continue working until i save enough for my 4-year tuition while going to a sunday school. it was a very cheap and good school. when i graduate, i already have somewhere to go. in short, i had it all here. just without the freedom and independency which i think i really really need. so i let that one go.

while i was in the plane leaving manila, i was crying so hard. not to be cliche but i really felt i left my heart there. i didn't feel good getting back so i searched for schools that are still accepting new students. i was thinking hard about work, how i could survive with my income. i did that for weeks (up until now).

i just wanna say, for all the asian eldest daughters out there, taking a leap is difficult but if it's for yourself then do it. and for me, i'll take this moment to remind myself that i did good, for so long. i did very good. i was a good daughter and sister. all those years of sacrifices are enough and it's okay to finally choose my happiness now. to put myself first now. even if it's hard to leave my people behind, my friends. i hate separation. i couldn't think about how i'd survive a month without seeing my sister or my best friends. so why am i doing this? because when i entered 2024, i promised myself that whatever i want to do, i'll do it. and if i'm scared, then i'll do it scared anyway.

this is it. 2022 me would be jumping in joy when she finds out i booked a flight to a place i've only known for a week, without any assurance that i'll be able to study or work there (still not enrolled, is only gonna look for a job when i arrive there). that's a big step from going to a far place just to kiss a stranger huh.

[whatsthepointinstayinghere]

I stopped playing Dragon Quest games years ago. As the community messed me up (it's always the smaller ones that are the worst because you don't even expect it) it was one of the communities I tried to socialise in but didn't end well.

The community is actually multiple groups (like any community) however with global DQ ones they are more like warring territories. There are two territories who are really nice and at the time did support me (they are the best when it comes to everything dragon quest) however the one I was banned from which was the first one I ever joined (jumped there from a Smascord discord server) are jealous of the kind of content they dig up so they continually spy on them.

A lot of them spy on each other and I learnt from those two places which helped me that the community is EXTREMELY opinionated about their favourite DQ games that are exclusive to Japan and insist that they will be remastered. (DQ10 which will never happen because Square Eninx doesn't really care about global fans plus it's an online multiplayer that has been around for years) but you dare look on the realistic side and tell them that then they'll hate you for life. The first one I joined will always believe that THEY are the original fans. Because they consist of old men who have used the community fan website for years. Since they got a discord server for some reason they decided to recruit a young female mod who was pretty much new to the place. Somehow she got a lot of love and respect but the place in general are very clichy and aren't welcoming to any newcomers who don't worship everything they say.

Like they are the oldest guys, you respect us or get out! none of your posts matter unless we are the ones who post them. They seriously only care about themselves and will easily push people away and ignore them. To the oldest and most active members, they think they are the number one Dragon Quest fans.

Anyway. Sorry about my rant. That was a summary of what it's like in the Dragon Quest community and why I'm not there anymore. I didn't want to leave those nice people behind but the stress of constantly being reminded (and close) by the members of the first DQ server I joined made me want to walk away while never turning back. It was one of the hardest things because I really did love the games and researching them was fun.... People can really ruin these things for you. Especially when they happen to be mods who get top authority even though they are new (they stabbed me in the back by pretending to support me but suddenly ignored me when the server owner banned me out of annoyance because I was depressed. I felt completely alone and left in the dark.) playing the games would always remind me of them and the failure of trying to show that I was deeply sorry for everything I did. (I actually even gave a £5 donation to the website plus tried to be a fun and active person on there while welcoming newcomers because I was that desperate) It still wasn't enough for them to accept me.

Here are some of the highlights of some good moments with a few of the games:

That dog is high on something. And it's not on top of the building

The guy has fused himself with the shower. He has become the showerman

Normally you can't talk to roaming enemies but sure. Let's talk to this scythe wielding reaper right here

And let's also remember the dude who, depending on which angle you look at him seems to be doing more than observing this fountain. He's creating his own fountain.

In DQ3 there's a castle where the king just can't be arsed. So he literally lets you be the king. You are only limited to the grounds because these two assholes won't let you out regardless of your authority. Being a king in Dragon Quest does suck.

Errrrrrrrrrrrr no

My GOD. This horse is so unrealistic! The fringe of his mane is flapping wildly, there's not even wind (equestrian gamers if they saw this) though it would make sense. Actually it was a glitch where the horse's top part of the mane decided to have a dance off

[rosemaries-shroom]

Life Update

At the insistence of our heart and others, I'm going to make an update of where we are in our journey.

The first few months were challenging, between our system adjusting to all the ints/splits, adjusting to our new living situation, the aftermath of the relationship we had to leave, and the mental collapse of being in a relatively safe place. Thrawn and I have been working to keep us within our routines, it kept us from falling too far off the edge while we existed. It didn't always work, some members throw us off occasionally but it's better.

Therapy has been helping but there's so much we can't say for fear of what could happen to us or our kid. We've gotten better coping mechanisms from her though and she's helped us get control of our anxieties and paranoia. They still exist of course, but 90% of us can now see them for what they are. Cassie has been interacting with our sisters a little which is a great step for her. Dabs is less reclusive and his delusional/Unreality episodes have been slowing down greatly. Kay has been supporting him and our other struggling alters to cope through difficult moments. Wray/Munin have been accepted into their role(s) as our (metaphorical) heart, our connection to our emotions both positive and negative. He's cared for and we've finally gotten him to let go of his extra roles. Most days now we get to see Wray, it's a joy to see his light again.

We've been in a stable relationship for a little under 5 months now, our bf has been a huge supporter of our healing. He got us to start writing in a diary, it allowed us a space to put moments we otherwise would put here. He's been honest with us and worked with us to manage relationship triggers. We can be okay not hearing from him when he's having a hard time, he doesn't like to involve us in his problems which was admittedly a struggle. A few code phrases and an agreement on what we can consider helping without overstepping has allowed us to get where we are now. There's still guilt over finding someone after the way things ended in our last relationship.

Many(me included) still believe things shouldn't have gone the way it did on our end, several still struggle to see how behaviors on both sides had sabotaged it too greatly.. we still think of them often, I'm still sorry for our inability to change our situation sooner. I'm still sorry for the amount of responsibility we placed on you when it never should have fallen on you. I'm sorry for the extra pain and trauma we placed on you when you were also struggling greatly. We have been working overtime to do better in those respects, we will be better.

Once a week we've been going into town to visit the small shops, library, just getting out and about. Grenze and Lily have been chatting with the owners and made friends with the ladies running the mystic shop. It's been a strange experience allowing the extroverts have full reign over conversations but not an unwelcome one. Knowing our company has become part of their lives and that many of them look forward to the visits still feels fake to a lot of us. Maybe with more time it won't feel so odd? Hopefully.

We're still without a job much to my dissatisfaction and we still can't drive. The feelings of being trapped are still present thanks to that and it's honestly preventing us from healing past a certain point for many things but- (and I'm saying this for other members of our system who may come back here when struggling)

We aren't in survival mode anymore, that's progress.

We're using healthy coping mechanisms exponentially more often than unhealthy ones, that's progress.

We're reconnecting with our kid even if most days we can only feel neutral about her, it's progress. Even if it's not where we want it to be

We're going outside again, we're playing the Sims4 and Subnautica, we've reignited multiple special interests that we didn't even realize had been closed off. That progress.

We're engaging in time consuming activities and hobbies instead of sitting in our room scrolling all day, that's progress.

There's still work to be done, triggers to mitigate, trauma to address, behaviors to change. We're not better or suddenly untoxic after a couple months and I won't make that claim by any means. But we're making progress, we're healing and I'm hoping the same for everyone.

[stormblessed95]

While Anons Are On

So it has a been a long time since I've had anons on. My inbox is very quickly overwhelmed once again. Lol I'm going to leave them on since I've deprived yall of that for so long, but just be patient with me as for when I get to answer some of them. Idk how long they will stay on, but yall will get a 24 hour warning before they go off again. Promise. But since it has been awhile, and so many new people are here, I just wanted to take a moment to let yall know the best way to get me to post your ask and honestly, which ones will be deleted without consideration.

1) I don't care about tkkrs. I'll accept the occasional ask about them and/or rant. I'll be happy to correct misinformation or help you find the original unedited content vs the ones they share. But I don't care about them. This is not a tkkr blog. I'm not here to talk about tkkrs. You want to share a cute moment and gush about how much jikook love each other? Great. Please do so without also adding an addition about how screwed up tkkrs are. We ALL know. I don't like talking about them, let's just focus on how wonderful the members are together. STOP sending me asks complaining about tkkrs please. Report them. Block them. Share links to have others report them. Move on. Stop giving them so much of your attention and stop trying to give them mine please.

2) Don't send me things or ask about things that are a clear and direct breach of jikooks or any members privacy. I won't post it. You shouldn't be doing so either. Report anyone who does and leave them alone.

3) My opinions are my own, if you don't like them, don't follow me. It's very simple. I don't need your exit speech on your way out the door

4) I have a masterlist. It has a lot of things on it. At least glance at it before you send in an ask. Especially if it's a controversial topic or theory. It's likely I've answered it before and have stated I won't talk about said topic again. Please respect that.

5) I have no time or patience for anyone's homophobia in any sense of the word. I take great offense and I will block you. 💗💜💙

6) Im more than happy and thrilled to talk about any other duo or ship in BTS. I love them all. But please don't send me asks wanting me to compare the ships about why one is better than the other. They aren't. Idc what other shippers do or say on their blogs. I'm not here to tell you why jikook are inherently more romantic than anyone else. I'd be more than happy to tell you that jikook ARE Romantic and why I think so. Do you notice the difference in types of posts though? Hope that makes sense.

7) If you send me a taekook moment or a yoonmin moment or a namkook moment, etc, it's more than okay to just send it to me without needing reassurances of why it doesn't mean anything. It means they are cute. Let them be cute. Let them exist freely. I'm not really here to be your insecurities blocker. I'm here to enjoy BTS as a whole.

And since getting that out of the way. A reminder than I'm here on the this blog as an OT7 BTS fan first and foremost. I'm yoonmin biased second. And I support jikook as a possible queer couple third after all that. So just please keep all this in mind. And know that this is not intended to be shade towards anyone who already sent in asks like the above. I'm sure none of it was sent with bad intentions. You either forgot or are simply new and didn't know. So I don't want to make anyone feel like they did anything wrong. You didn't. This is just a general reminder going forward from now. I'm enjoying reading your asks and talking with you guys 💜💜💜

Love yall!

[theminecraftbee]

heyy, idk if u accept/do these, feel free to ignore this if u don’t, but i rlly like ur writing style and wondered if we could have a small thing about the mycelium resistance members just beeing .. weird and eerie? i‘m talking fungi growing on them, looking a little too pale, but they‘re still acting like everything‘s fine, there‘s just a weirdd vibe to it

i just think it would be so good in ur writing style ahdkykdk once again sorry if u don’t do these!!!

Scar had been prepared to gloat. Really, he had! He'd been planning on going into the Barge and gloating to Grian about his recent mycelium-killing endeavors, and about finding a way to find the Mycelium Resistance headquarters, and basically about everything, because gloating really is fun sometimes, you know?

It's just that...

"Uh, you've got something..." he trails off.

"...yes, Scar?" says Grian. "Are you just here to bother me? Because the Barge is busy as usual, and I have a lot of sand and gravel to restock."

"Oh yes I absolutely am," Scar says.

"I didn't have a response for that," Grian says after a moment, incredulous. "Scar, you're the mayor. Do you have time to be messing with perfectly law-abiding shopkeepers, who definitely aren't undermining your regime with mycelium-based ecoterrorism? Because, as I am that -"

"Oh absolutely. I just make Bdubs do my paperwork. Anyway, you've got something, you know, on..."

Scar gives up and gestures to his entire body.

"...my clothes?" Grian says.

"No, it's the mushrooms. Yeah, that," Scar says.

"The what? Scar, are you getting enough sleep? Clearly this resistance - which, once again, I have nothing to do with - is getting to you."

Scar opens his mouth. Scar closes it.

"Do you not... know? Here, hold on, do you have a mirror in your shop? Let me get a mirror," Scar says, pushing past Grian to go inside the Barge. The floating shop's floorboards creak as Scar walks through it, the planks ominously laced with white algae - or, Scar thinks, more fungi. That can't be good for the boat. Now, grass - that clearly would have more structural integrity! After all, shipwrecks have weird moss growing on them all the time, right? And those are boats, and grass is basically the same thing as moss.

Scar doesn't know how boats work.

Anyway, it takes him getting to the part of the barge where Grian sticks random sale items to find a mirror, which is really quite an oversight on Grian's part. "You know, you do sell some basic home amenities here. You should really add mirrors to the lineup! Anyway, here, you clearly haven't had time to look at yourself lately, come on, come on..."

"Scar, if this is some new psychological warfare tactic, it doesn't work on me, I'll have you know," Grian says.

"No, Grian, you need to look," Scar says. He tries to make it clear from his voice how serious he's being. He can feel some blue leeching into it. He hopes it gets his point across.

"Fine, fine," Grian says. He picks up the mirror and looks in it. After a moment, he looks back at Scar with a raised eyebrow. "I look like I always have. What's got you all upset, huh, Mr. Mayor?"

Scar stares at Grian, whose skin is grey. Who has purple and brown and red mushrooms painted across his skin, white mycelium laced in and out of the skin. Who has blackened eyes, and deep bags under them, and his hair is ragged, and there are mushrooms growing out of his throat, Scar had been trying not to look at it, and there's something wrong with his nails, and -

Scar swallows.

"Are you, uh, sure about that?"

"Yeah? Honestly, Scar, maybe you need more sleep. Clearly, making Bdubs do all of your work for you is a lot harder on you than you'd think it would be."

He can see the places where the mushrooms have dug into Grian's skin. He looks dead.

"Right," Scar says. "Okay. Right. Right."

Grian stares at him a moment longer. "You aren't going to lose to the Mycelium Resistance any faster if you stand here."

"You're right, I won't," Scar says, after a moment. "I need to go talk to Cub, actually. Now, continue being... law-abiding. Actually, Grian, do me a favor. Stay in the Barge for a bit. HEP will be here to... decontaminate... soon, but we need to make sure you aren't contaminated either! If you look over here, you see an infection."

"You have no authority here," Grian says. "I'm an independent -"

"Grian, please."

Grian falls silent.

"Scar?"

"I'll be back soon."

Scar leaves the Barge with the horrible sinking feeling that Grian absolutely will not be staying in place when asked. That Grian thinks this is all a part of the game. That Grian doesn't...

Well, Scar thinks. This certainly isn't gloating! He didn't get to gloat. How horrible! He better solve this soon, so he can go back to the proper game. That's how this ought to go.

[eluxcastar]

A new member of Shinoa Squad.

FEATURES: yūichirō hyakuya, shinoa hīragi, yoichi saotome, mitsuba sangū, shiho kimizuki, makoto narumi

CW: none

WC: 700

NOTES: WE FINALLY GOT AN IDEA yaaay I wrote these as being platonic but interpret them however you want, might make a version for Guren Squad but Idk yet

Guren has decided to introduce you to a new squad after the last one didn't go so well, and well…

₊˚⊹꒷ yūichirō hyakuya

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 Yūichirō is nice enough, arguably the most welcoming as he ushers you into their circle, their 'family's as he calls it. He always insisted you call him Yū from the second you met. It's kind of nice.

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 He's very reassuring, though he's a tad hard-headed and quick to rush into things. He means well enough, and you know that at the first sign of danger he'd save your life in a heartbeat.

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 He has this way of managing to get you in every conversation, making sure you feel included and he asks your opinion on things and will ask you to back him up. You can shake your head and laugh about it, but it's always endearing.

₊˚⊹꒷ shinoa hīragi

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 Shinoa is easily one of your favourite source's of entertainment between her subtle sass and sarcastic quips, she manages to brighten the mood even in the midst of war, but she's always on her toes in combat. She has your back, you know she does, and you trust her with your life.

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 She might need to work on boundaries though, because sometimes she oversteps and takes things a little too far. The one thing she won't overstep on is her family, you've asked her and she doesn't have much to say, she danced around the room a little and told you she was 'basically a princess'. You sensed she didn't really want to talk about it.

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 Shinoa is somewhat teasing toward you but your can usually tell it's all in good fun no matter what she says, but you've also learned never to tease her back about her height.

₊˚⊹꒷ yoichi saotome

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 Yoichi is one of the kindest people you know, though he comes off as being a little soft sometimes. He tries his hardest and you can respect that.

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 He's always checking up on you, more so when you first came to the squad, always wanting to know how you were doing and if you were ok. It was nice to feel like someone really cared about you in this new squad.

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 He's always quick to back Yū's family ideals and think of it the same way, and in enough time you realised that Also meant there were lengths he would go to for you that went beyond the others. At first it was a bit terrifying, but it became comforting once you really thought about it.

₊˚⊹꒷ mitsuba sangū

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 Mitsuba's way of caring takes a bit to get used to, keeping you in line and watching your every move like a hawk to catch you out. With enough convincing you accept that this is her way if protecting you from yourself.

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 She does warm up, and you manage to become good friends. Following the rules is her way of keeping you safe, there's a protocol for everything and wanting you to follow that to the letter is just an attempt to keep you alive. Doing your best to please her and follow your orders is your way of giving back.

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 She has her moments, a certain kind of vulnerability that she lets show. All of her insecurities and her dreams are right there laid out before you, even if those aren't things she thinks she can achieve, it feels nice to have someone trust you to hear their secrets.

₊˚⊹꒷ shiho kimizuki

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 Kimizuki is easily one of the sternest people you know, but his way of logic does not outweigh the care he has for each and every member of the squad. That now includes you.

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 It initially surprised you he was something of a homebody, or at least would've been with how well he can cook an clean up after himself, that's what you concluded at least. Sometimes he cooks for you, assuming you're not out in the field and everyone else is struggling not to burn the food. Sometimes he tries to teach you, and some attempts are more successful than others.

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 His ability to put up with Yū as he would see it is admirable, and he also encourages you not to listen to the things he says. You're no exception either as he tends to scold you. A thing of endearment? You're not sure yet. You'll figure it out eventually.

₊˚⊹꒷ makoto narumi

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 Narumi is somehow stricter than Mitsuba and can rival Kimizuki, though that's not to say they're the same. You felt horrible to learn about his squad, but unlike Mitsuba he didn't allow himself to be vulnerable toward you.

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 But he does look out for you in all aspects, as with everyone in the squad. He does things you may not necessarily like, but he doesn't those things to keep you safe. They're things other people don't want to do, but he'll do them for the sake of the others.

⊹ ִֶָ𓂅 You're not sure what he was like before the deaths of his friends but now he seems more careful than ever. He's someone you can easily feel safe around. He's tight on regulations and has told you to your face that if you can't follow orders he can't say the same for you. It's a good motivator.

[bemylord]

truth or dare

peirings: kuroo x fem!reader x kenma.

warnings: smut, aged up, oral, gagging, threesome, nipples play, overstimulating, hint of poly relationship.

w/c: 1.9k

kuroo and kenma are your closest friends - both of them would help you out anytime or talk to your whenever you want it. both of them are happy to spend their evenings with you: they're needed for your relaxing body massage you once give them or you both prefer to watch anime. sometimes, you do the homework - the time where's kuroo yelling at you and kenma for being bad at the subject. although, if you're getting good grades at school, he still mad - you aren't good at his point. after studying, both of you would play a video game. now, kenma is the best player among you.

'how is that possible you don't know how to play? gosh, i'll show only once, i won't teach you forever, nerds'

quiet notes from kenma to you on how to win kuroo.

generally, they both are funny and good friends. one call to kuroo or kenma and he'll be around you, comforting his friend.

'till the moment kuroo propose to play a game, named truth or dare.

'it'd be fun, what do you think, y/n-chan?'

'i'm in!'

the thought it'd cheerfully and you'll have merrily game didn't last long. it was fun to a certain point in the game.

'truth or dare, kenma-kun?' asked vivaciously kuroo. he has been joining since he came up with

'truth'

'are you in love with someone?'

kenma is speechless, his eyes widened as he heard the question. he gulped, closing his eyes.

'seriously, in love?' kenma responded with a question, crossing arms on the chest, staring at his friend like he told a lewd thing.

'i mean that, give us an answer!'

'yes, i am' you covered your mouth with a hand, gazing at the blond one. the game started and you found out an interesting thing about kozume.

'who are they? do we know them?' you inquired, putting your hand on kenma's shoulder, rubbing it a cheerful way. kinda, you glad that your friend settled down by found a girl with whom he wants to be. although, why is he keeping it aside from you? aren't you friends with him?

'it's the second question, now i'm running. y/n-chan, truth or dare?'

'how rude you're, truth'

'the same question. do you love someone?'

you exhaled, musing about the question. the warm feeling born in your chest when you're with boys. you've never caught yourself at the thought you're in love with them. you love them as friends, maybe something more, but you aren't in love. it must be a wrong feeling.

'i don't know. it's just complicated, i've got feelings for.. for someone, but don't think i'm in love'

'are you hiding some information apart from me?' kuroo indignantly screamed, pointing at you. he moaned lingering, twisted his tongue, not looking at you. 'being in love it's awesome, why you both didn't tell me early, i-i' he interrupted himself, reflecting on the phrase he said.

'kuroo-san, truth or dare?'

'dare'

you're smiling sinisterly, rubbing your hands, guessing over the dare. it would humorously tell him to do something easy, so you're kept thinking about it whilst found acceptable dare.

'do a striptease for us'

it's entertaining to watch as his emotions changing from calm to frowning, in the eyes new emotion - mingled astonishment and stupefaction. knockout dare took him off guard - he didn't expect you would dare an obscene action like a strip.

'you will regret about it, y/n'

those eyes that expressed stupefaction transformed to the lustful and lascivious. there is no fear of unknowing what you'll dare next, there's lust and dissolute.

kuroo took his shirt off, exposing a pumped-up body - he has those fucking six-pack, not like a bodybuilder, but damn, his upper body literally saying: fuck me. he's coming closer to you with small steps, playing with his chest and abs using hands. you didn't notice how fast kuroo he put his knees between your legs, running his fingers on your shoulders to the neck, squeezing your narrow neck, pulling his face in your ear.

'you liked it, y/n, like my strip-' he did a little pause, licking your ear. the goosebumps are running over your body, as long as you're trying to avoid the familiar feeling. you closed your eyes, attempting his body. 'tease'

he moved away from you, back at his previous position, staring at kenma. his mand is hazy of the action kuroo did: was it real or he was guided by the dare. crafty type.

'kenma, truth or dare?' he's acting like it was nothing, like he didn't tease by half-muttering in your ear, which gave you goosebumps, and your breath was taken away. for credibility, he licked your earlobe, isn't it enough?

'since the game is getting hotter, dare, kuroo'

'show us the person you're in love with'

isn't the game hotter than a sun? on that point, is getting closer to that temperature. kenma stood up, staring at his teammate - some line is connecting them, binding them as some rivals for your attention. kenma sat behind you, put hands on your shoulders, breathed out on the back of your neck, make your knees go weak. 'she's sitting in front of you'

goosebumps are running over your body, breath stuck in your throat as kenma touched your shoulder with his warm palm, rubbing your skin gently. you exhaled, as kenma lingering on your neck, raises the chin up, blowing in your left ear, kissing it concurrently.

'and i'm kissing her'

you opened your mouth, not trying to resist, moisten chapped lips erstwhile were humidified due to the lip gloss. not trying to resist, when kuroo put your small hand on his six-pack; your hands are running over lumpy muscles whilst the blond one licking your collarbone. suddenly, you felt his hands under the shirt, denuding your breast to kuroo. you were up to close your legs, but the hand of the guy in front of you didn't allow it.

'you're so concupiscent, y/n. let us do the thing, baby girl. we'll treat you as your queen, your little girl' uttered kuroo, approaching his face on your nipple. 'can i?'

there must an answer, although everything you could do muttering indistinctly, feeling the unknowing sense down there. so marvelous, voluptuous, and vulnerable it is. kuroo barely touched your nipple with the tip as kenma slipped a hand into your shorts. you lay the back on kenma's chest, unconsciously spreading legs apart. outlining yet hard areola, kuroo lick it, biting just lightly the nipple. he has been enjoying it even more than you, receiving from two boys delight.

kenma pull aside your shorts, discovered you aren't wearing the panties. he snorted, rubbing an index finger on your folds. what could be more pleasant than this moment? the captain of a nekoma team is licking your nipples whilst the setter is playing with your pussy. you're lost in his caress: it seems there's no more air, no more feelings besides lust and desire.

kuroo pulls away from you, unzip his pants: a thick dick dropped in front of your face, covered in veins, the head is red from the pressure of your tiny body. the precum appears on the glans as you touched the hot cock, stroking with a hand from the tip 'till your little finger touches the pubis. you smear the drop of his semen with a tongue, lick the head, pull inside the wet mouth.

'you haven't seen something big as my cock, sweetie?' he giggled, thrust more in your warm, little mouth. you're sandwiched between two hot bodies, receiving and giving oral sex. abruptly, kenma make a fist of your hair, nudging your head deeper on kuroo's cock 'till your nose meets with the skin. you chocked, not having time for rest, in addition, kenma's abrupt push makes you gag even more. kenma entering his finger inside your tight pussy, still nudging you.

'get on the bed, baby' kuroo hoisted you up. somehow, you managed to stand on your fours, letting kuroo eating you out, giving kenma your face to fuck. maybe it's their smells, such as aphrodisiac; not paying attention to the pain in your throat due to their fat cocks, you're sucking blond's member whilst kuroo greedily licking out you, preparing for the cock. it seems it has been an eternity since you've been doing it, whereas it doesn't take longer than a quarter of the time.

'don't worry, sweetie, i'll be gentle, just relax'

you're practically been dripping under his face, yet when you felt the gland at the entrance you knew it won't be easy: kuroo won't stop till he goes into you entirely. you're getting lost as many times you came on the captain's tongue, perhaps two or three, nevertheless it hurts when he's attempting to pull his cock in. with a certain slosh kuroo went in your cunt deep, but slow, stopping his movements, giving you a couple of second to get used to the new feeling. new orgasm is building up as soon as kuroo asked you with a husky voice about your well-being.

'are you okay? i could pull it out if you're-'

'move, kuroo. you can'

tremendously soft and big concurrently, but his smug grin appears as he heard your order: it's maddening him to be inside you. gradually, the captain starts to increase the pace, as his balls slapping against your cunt.

kenma is blissful as never: he could only think about the godlike blowjob like this one. your tongue is running from the tip to the balls, gagging by it. tears start to fall down on your cheeks, leaving the wet trace, though you aren't stopping: you're a masochist if you're relishing something like that. you would answer: yes, i am, but your mouth is full by kenma's dick.

'i will cum in your mouth, can i, kitten?'

kenma is breathing heavily, scarcely would last longer, as you feel as his cock is twitching and getting hotter. you switched your mouth on his glans, sucking and stroking the base, helping to reach the high.

'me too, y/n, get ready for mine semen in your mouth too'

so fucking full of sperm you'll be in a few seconds. kuroo pulls his dick out, get out of bed, coming to the edge. using your hands, you're stroking theirs cocks waiting for the cum in your mouth to taste it. both of them came simultaneously, giving you their hot semen. feeling as your cunt twitching from the big dick, swallowing their semen.

how did it turn on? what happened? you didn't know exactly, you're happy that now you're cuddling and smooching your boys, exhausted from your first time. kuroo tenderly kissing the back of your neck, burying his face into your hair, pulling closer by your waist. kenma covers your face with quick but affectional kisses, interlacing your fingers.

you're happy and lucky cuddling with boys with the guys you love. but they love you even more.

'sleep kitten, we will be here when you open your eyes'

'stop talking she's sleeping!'

'don't scream she may wake up'

'and stop being so sweet i love her more than you do'

'no, i-'

you giggled, falling asleep to their quiet muttering of 'who loves you more'

//~~//

:3 i don't know, but i was listening to this playlist it gives some vibes lol. and sorry abt last words, i had a fit of tenderness :)

[sagaciouscejai]

Jojolion is a story about identity and working past the tragedies of the past, no matter how much they may define you due to a lack of anything else to go off of.

Jousuke has nothing to start, bar the knowledge other people have gained and gave him before they became him. He is fixated on the past at first because its the only thing he has to go off of, but after becoming a member of the Higashikata family, he slowly lets go of his desire to seek his past as he has found a new life, culminating in a flashback to his past that he doesn't have, and the destruction of a man that offers him answers point blank, because he won't tolerate his family being hurt.

But because life is not that simple, his struggles aren't in turn. The leader of the Rock Human peddlers are run by incredibly powerful medical researchers who have a further hand in controlling his family than previously thought. He still has fragments of feeling for the mother of one of his halves, and pursues a way to cure her of her ailment, carrying on the will of his component persons.

...but at some point, he abandons that. Holly saves him, but does not recognize him as his son. He teaches him not to pursue his foe, but force him to Jousuke. We don't even see her in the final moments of the part, further emphasized by Kiyomi Kujo's choice to move on with another child, despite her desire to find her son again shown in the photos she still has of Josefumi.

Don't fight the flow of life. It may be awful, it may be good, but don't force it. Build around it, safeguard yourself from the bad and be accepting of the good that comes your way.

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

"sudden interest" jimin has always been a football fan, both as a spectator and player. In the knowing brothers episode he also set the record of ball juggling I forget how many he got but it was a lot. Either the person is a new fan, or as 90% of people in this fandom they see jimin inside a box of their own creation, just a nice soft gay boy, who acts cute and does aegyo and only likes pretty things.

About his fashion sense. He's just following the overall trends, back then tight pants were the standard but now, to my demise, big and baggy pants made a comeback. Also he's probably more confortable just going out in comfy outfits instead of tight jeans that made him look like a whole meal but were for sure not comfortable for long flights. Back then they were still very much in the idol bubble and were just starting in america so I think all of them were "trying" more and are more relaxed now.

- sudden interest in football? does anon need a list of all the sports he’s played since he was a child? He even posted pics of his younger self at football matches and only butch queens wear plaid anon so technically he’s still gay right? lmfao

---

"to my demise, big and baggy pants made a comeback" I hate it too.

I had read that baggy pants are trendy right now in Korea, many people have said it. And I see it. I honestly don't know much about trends, much less in other countries, but yeah I have noticed the same.

He made some points. I feel represented.

I'm kidding 😸

Maybe some people don't really know, but Jungkook and Jimin are both the most sports-oriented BTS members. Jimin did kendo for 8 years. That's literally like, a third of his short life so far. He also has a black belt in taekwondo. The man can definitely throw a punch or kick a ball.

(This looks fake 😭 but he actually said something like that).

I feel like, apart from not knowing some stuff about Jimin, which is perfectly fine because nobody is obligated to know everything, there's also a huge difference in how younger lgbtq folks grow up.

When I was a kid (and Jimin was also one, we're the same age), we didn't grow up with sexuality at the center of our lives. Everyone grew up the same way, playing the same games, watching the same things. Maybe if there's someone younger reading this they won't get it, but people my age will probably know what I'm talking about, especially if they're from a third world country. Most kids, particularly those that live in countries where English is not the first language, we all grew up at a "slower" pace than kids in English speaking countries.

I only knew what bisexuality was in like 2004 because I saw a magazine headline or some gossip website about Angelina Jolie being bisexual. After that, the next time I remember of even seeing the word bisexual and actually learning what it meant, that was in 2009 thanks to lady Gaga. My sister was 8 and she already knew what the LGBTQ flag looked like, while I think I was around 15 when I started being familiar with the flag. That was crazy to me. It seriously was a wow moment to find out that she was so young and she already knew a lot of LGBTQ stuff I didn't know when I was her age.

"We live in a society" is a meme that I love because we really do live in a society. A huge part, the majority of how we grow up and develop and learn is conditioned by the society and culture we live in.

As much as kids activities aren't exactly "gendered" anymore, and some pockets of society are more accepting of girls playing football or boys doing ballet, and stuff like that, kids are also politically gay from very early on in life. I see a lot of kids in social media purposefully "rebelling" by doing things that are seen as wrong or that could irk homophobes. And they're so young. Most of us only became political gays in our 20s.

I don't know if I'm making any sense. I just sometimes read armys talking about gay people and it hits me that millennials really do have a somewhat different way of living their sexuality compared to younger kids. And talking about how can a gay man like football reminded me of that. The point is, I guess kids teens and young adults lives nowadays are crossed by their experience of their sexuality, and most grow up experiencing and living their sexuality to the max, whether is in real life or online. But 20 years ago that was not the case.

With the rise of social media culture, sexuality has even become something performative and so people expect other gay people to act in real life the same way gays act on their TikTok videos.

[atinysunbaby]

Meant to be | Choi San 🖤

Warnings : Cursing, violence, mention of rape.

Words count : 2.2 k

Previous 《 Prologue

Masterlist

Chapter 1

Present

My cheeks are burning from the salty tears escaping my eyes. A tightening feeling in my chest growing by the minute. The sobs keep escaping me, making my body move uncontrollably. Chocking from the sharp inhales and shaking from the cold temperature. This moment, forever will be imprinted in my mind. Those images I wish I could forget, unfortunately will hunt me till my last breath.

I suppose it's what most people feel too when they lose their parents. I wanted to deny it, but I saw their bodies. They were cold, bruised, bloody and no longer held any signs of life.

The last time a saw them, I didn't bother much to say goodbye to them. Only telling them to enjoy their little vacation in the woods. I was more exited about being alone then making them know how much I loved them. Now it's too late, I'll never be able to see their faces again, hear their voices, feel their arms around me when I need them the most.

I woke up to my cellphone ringing this morning, answering grumpily, thinking it was my mom who disturbed me from my sleep. It was actually the cops telling me to come to the hospital, but I wish it would've been her instead. I wish she could annoy me every morning now, but it's over. She isn't here anymore and neither is my dad.

I'm in my room, at this moment, crying my heart out. I ran out of the hospital immediately after seeing their corpses. They wanted me to identifie them, but I left with people screaming for me to comeback. I guess they probably know from my reaction, that it was indeed my mom and dad.

People keep calling me on my phone, but I don't answer. I'm laying on the floor, looking at the ceiling, waiting for my sadness to subside. I know that won't happen anytime soon, but it's the only way for me to calm down. Being surrounded by people telling me how sorry they are for my loss. A bunch of fake assholes making me feel even worse about the situation definitely won't make anything better.

Slowly my eyes get heavy, I try to fight the exhaustion but fail miserably. I fall asleep on the cold floor of my room, my window open and the sound of rain filling my ears. All of this crying definitely used up a lot of my energy.

The car crash, I wasn't there and I have no idea of what happened. But I see it, something is in the middle of the road and dad just told mom a joke. They're laughing.. until they hit that thing, an animal maybe. It goes right through the window and kill my dad instantly, but as for my mom. The car rolls off the road and fall down a small cliff. Mom's still alive, she's in pain, blood everywhere, she's crying for her husband to open his eyes and answer her. She keeps screaming that she can't feel him anymore? His presence? Her breathing is getting worse the more she panics. Suddenly the door on her side opens and something stabs her in the chest, putting a end to her desperate cries. Blood is streaming down her chin, her eyes looking directly through mine while she takes her last breath.

I open my eyes to see nothing but darkness. I frantically search for a sign of light, I reach around with my hands. My eyes are open wide and my breath shaky, until my fingers brush against an object. I stop every movement, slowly gripping it and letting a breath of relieve when I realise it's my phone.

I turn it on to see a ton of messages and missed calls. One standing out, my aunts name, my mom's sister. I never talked to her, but mom insisted on giving me her number. I look around my room and stand up to look outside the window, only to notice that it's night time. The reason of the darkness and freezing temperature. I close it and turn the lights on in my room. Then I sit on the corner of my bed and hesitate a few minutes while looking at the screen in front of me. My fingers finaly press on call. A few rings later, Aunt Kath's voice is heard. "Y/N! Y/N is it you?"

"Yes it's me.. why did you cal-" I'm cut off by a loud sob. My eyes widen in confusion, but I soon remember that my mom, her sister is no longer a part of this world. I sigh and wait for her to stop crying on the other side of the line. "S-sweetie- where are you? Are you safe? You're not alone ar-"

"Kath, my parents just died. I'm obviously not partying right now, but I'm okay.. I guess.." She stays silent for the next few seconds, my blunt answer probably wasn't expected, but it's understandable. "Sweetheart-I uhh.. you have no one to stay with right? So.. your mom made me your godmother, i-in case anything happened to her.. will you come live w-with me, here in Korea?"

It takes some time to process what just came out of her mouth, my eyebrows are furrowed. Many feelings are fighting to take control of my body, but the one that wins is frustration. "W-what?.."

"She told me to take care of you if she wasn't there anymore... It was just a precaution, but I guess it really happened." She says with a small voice, trying not to upset me further. Judging from my lack of response, she can tell I'm not that excited about this new information. "I asked you, but it ins't really a choice that you have. It's an obligation, you can't stay alone out ther-"

I hang up, not wanting to listen even for one more second. I need some time to think about it. She's right, I don't have much of a choice. I turned seventeen not too long ago and I don't have any family member here. At least none that I know of. I sigh defeated, once again pressing on my godmother's contact.

She picks up not even a second later, as if she knew I was gonna call her back. She doesn't say a word, waiting for me to start talking. I clear my throat after freeing my lower lip from my teeth. "How will I get there? How about my clothes and everything else in the house? My parents' funera-"

"I'll take care of everything you don't have to worry, just bring the necessary and I'll transfer some money on your account so you can pay for your plane ticket. As for the ride to my house, my boyfriend will pick you up" She spend a whole hour explaining to me how everything will go and I agree after hesitating for a while. If my mom gave Kath the role of godmother, she must trust her. So I will trust her too, anyways I don't really have a reason not to. She's been nice till now and she'll even welcome me in her house, she's taking me in. "Thank you Kath, I really appreciate it. I don't know what I would've done if I was all alone."

Days later

I prepared all my stuff, ready to fly to Korea. It took me a while to accept, but eventually I warmed up to it. It's an opportunity for me, to start over. A new life full of adventure, new environment and culture. I want to explore the world so why not start there.

Unfortunately though, I had to say goodbye to all my friends. We cried and spend the last few days together. We promised to text each other everyday and not to forget about one another. Sad thing is, my friends aren't the only ones I need to leave behind. It's hard to leave the place I grew up in, my house, my neighbourhood, my city, everything.

In a few hours, everything I ever knew will all be in the past. Only the memories will stay, the rest, all gone. So the day my parents died, I didn't only lose them, but my life too. The life they gave me. Now, I have to make a new one, by myself.

Landing in Korea

The flight was boring and quite annoying, I didn't know what to do. A baby cried for what felt like years and a couple had an argument at some point. Then the person next to me started to snore so loudly I thought the plane was crashing. I'm glad to finaly be on the ground, the loud voices of people speaking indistinctly seeming to sooth me from what I went through previously.

I sit on one of the chairs in the airport waiting for James, my godmother's boyfriend. He'll drive me to their house, apparently Kath arranged a room for me already. She doesn't have any kid, so she's looking forward to having me over.

"Y/N!!" I jump from the chair almost falling on my ass. I luckily manage to stay on my two feet and not make a fool of myself. Upon hearing a chuckle, I turn around and see an old looking dude smirking at me, maybe in his late forties. "Umm.. Hi can I help you?"

"James, I came to pick you up remember?" He asks while pointing at himself. I'm still unsure, he's looking at me weirdly. I can feel an odd vibe from him. It makes me feel uncomfortable, but I push it aside and nod before following him.

We enter his rusty jeep, the doors creaking when moving. Despite the outside looking a bit ugly, the inside is clean. The only negative point would be the smell, cigarette and..alcohol? Paying a bit more attention to the smell though, it doesn't only come from the jeep. The man next to me is even worst, it seems that he might shower rarely. Subtly, I bring my sweater paws to my nose, looking outside to distract myself.

"So, Y/N! How you holding up?" His loud and deep raspy voice makes me jump for the second time. I turn a bit a towards him not to be impolite and think before answering him. "I guess it's a bit easier then I expected. I didn't think that I'd feel any better, but after a few days it prove me wrong. But I feel bad, to already move on.."

He hums next to me, nodding his head lazily. I wait for him to add something, but the car is filled with silence. I'm relieved he doesn't speak further, not really being in the mood to have a whole conversation, especially with someone I don't know. So, slowly I turn back around towards the window. My mind drifting to the events that happened in just a few weeks, everything is so fucked up. Fortunately, Kath and James decided to help me.

About an hour past since we came out of the airport. We just entered a forrest, James informed me that it'll take a while still. He insisted that I should go to sleep and when I'll wake up, we'll be home. I ponder for some time, but eventually agree. It doesn't take long for me to fall asleep due to not being able to get much sleep in the plane.

I wake up when the car come to an halt, a man's voice coming from next to me. Curses escaping his mouth, confused I open my eyes. The events from the previous hours coming back to me, tears threatening to escape my eyes. My body shaking slightly from fear, uncontrollably.

The ride was a lot longer then what James had told me it would be and I slept, only to be woken up by a hand covering my mouth. Horrible things happened in that car and it wasn't a nightmare, no mather how much I wish it was one. He said he would tell Kath it took us some time because of the traffic and the airport. Then he threatened to kill me if I open my mouth.

I can't let him see me crying, I don't want him to have another reason to hurt me. Despite being terrified and completely drained from energy, I swallow the bill in my throat and wipe the tears from my eyes. While I'm breaking down, next to me James is whistling and turning the car off. Announcing with a loud scream to Kath that we arrived.

"Omg! Y/N! Sweetie you really are here." Kath comes out of the house shouting happily, her arms open, waiting for me to give her a hug. I rush to open the door, but a hand grabs my arm. His nails dig in my skin and I whimper, both from fear and pain. "Remember. You talk, you die."

He puts my bag in my hand, pretending to be helping me. Finally I escape the horrible vehicle and run into my godmother's arms with a heavy heart. The second she engulfs me in her warmth, sobs spill from deep within me. She cries with me but not for the same reason. She cries because she lost her sister and now I'm here. I, cry because I've lost my parents, I lost my house, my friends. Because I've been raped less then an hour ago. Because I feel completely broken and hopeless. The new life I wanted for myself, only starts with even more problems then I had before.

Next 》 Chapter 2

[scarecoen]

Trigger warning ⚠️ domestic violence.

I've typed this story a million times so I'm just going to summarize as much as I can.

A few days ago I was assaulted by my partner's family members. And as I've mentioned, I've typed this a million times and I'm honestly just exhausted thinking about it, but we could use some help.

My partner has always had a transphobic family. (I don't have anyone but my dad, who's in no position to help anyone.)

Her mom used her disability against her and manipulated her into giving her MOST of her checks. She's abused the system and my girlfriend.

When I met Jackie, she was with a terrible biggot. Jackie had came out, and her mother conspired with an abusive long distance ex, to fly her here, to stage an "intervention" and stop my partner from transitioning.

It worked. For years.

I met Jackie here on tumblr, we became good, SECRET friends because she wasn't allowed to talk to anyone.

I told Jackie openly about my views regarding gender and how I myself, was not cis.

Eventually she told her partner about us playing games together, which she responded to by harassing me.

Jackie ended up spilling the beans to me, about her mom, about the ex, everything. I realized that she had been extremely isolated and controlled her whole life.

So I intervened.

I got the two of them to separate, which wasn't smooth because Jackie was scared. She had been with her abuser for 9 years at this point. She's never known anything else.

The ex moved back to her state, and I started seeing Jackie, although she was stuck at her mom's... who was trying to play innocent at this time.

Eventually, I kinda just came and picked her up, she stayed the night, she didn't want to go back home. And I can't blame her. The house wasn't only disgusting, her family microagressed her all the time and they would tell her to pretty much stay in a dark room all day.

Ofc I didn't bring her back.

During early quarantine, we had a lot of self reflection and she started distancing herself from her mother, coming around to holding her accountable for her horrible actions.

Her mom messaged her things like "Why won't you talk to me? It's like you're trying to punish us!" Ect, just every fucking manipulative thing she could say, without ever apologizing.

Unfortunately the place we were staying fell through when my best friend's ex husband decided he wants a divorce and decided to throw in some transphobic hatespeach towards me.

We were all looking for somewhere to go.

I'm sure you know where this is going but listen, she told us EVERYTHING we wanted to hear. She told us she's not hateful now, told us she would go to trans support groups, pride, said she's realized how much she loves Jackie and it's time to accept her- and look- we had NO WHERE TO GO. We have 2 cats and at the time, a car that has no a/c or functional locks. AND I have a chronic autoimmune condition that I recently started taking chemo meds for. (Methotrexate.)

I'm too sick to be on the street, and survive. I had to think about me, Jackie, Zoe, and Boops.

And Jackie wanted to go..

I told her we'd be cautious and try to get out asap.

Well, looking for places right when the housing market crashed really fucked us up. That- and because I had only just finally got approved for disability, means I was set back in life- and had no credit to my name. No credit= no place to live.

I had almost built enough, but things went down hill very quickly with her family. Which leads us to right now:

After weeks of microagressions, giving us breakthrough covid cases, yelling at us to clean other's messes, and forcing us and our cats to isolate in our room, many broken promises, and straight up transphobic hatespeach (because she promised to get vaccinated but then said nvm as soon as we moved in and she went on vacation and got covid and gave it to us, which nearly killed me--) she said not getting the vaccine "IS A CHOICE, JUST LIKE YOU BEING TRANS AND TAKING *gestures to my testosterone* THOSE DRUGS."

We just were avoiding each other while I desperately try to gather resources for us to get out, NOW.

Of course, that wasn't good enough, so when her step father messaged her in all caps about our cats having to stay in our room and "I WON'T FUCKING TELL YOU AGAIN" my partner had a breakdown..

Her mom had let her step dad talk to her like this her whole life, basically.

Out of desperation, we went to her sister for help, maybe hoping she'd give us a place to stay for two weeks while we sign off on the lease for our new apartment.

She pretended to want to help and even said... something fucking weird? She made the comment that I'm a good person and I'm so much like her own boyfriend, that it's "scary"...

A few hours later she came to the house. She talked nicely to us, to gain access to our bedroom.

Then she attacked me.

I called the police right before, and was on the phone with dispatch when she lunged at me because she was aggressively trying to MAKE Jackie go into a separate room WITHOUT ME and Jackie was saying no, BEGGING her to STOP.

I wasn't going to let her take Jackie into that room. She looked fucking crazy.

All of the family came into our room, her two sisters, her mom, and her cousin- When they heard yelling.

It was actually me telling her mom that she's a terrible mother, that triggered her sister to try and attack me- although I knew she was planning on trying to from the moment she came into our room.

And that was after her mom was screaming in my face that if I have something to say, say it now.

Dispatch heard everything and sent emt as well...

But the police stayed outside, talking to them for a WHILE before even asking for us.

Her cousin is the only one that would have stood up for me, saying her sister never should have tried to hit me. But he was in the room with Jackie, giving her support...

I faced the cops alone.

He already had "that look."

He shined a light into my eye, letting the family stay on the porch, throwing insults and just letting it happen. He asked me where I'm hurt, and before I could even show him the scratches on my arm, he said "how do I know YOU didn't put those there?"

I wanted to fucking die in that moment.

This is a conservative city.

No one has equality stickers here. No one flies gay flags. People here that are lgbt- they LEAVE.

This is EXACTLY WHY.

I said "well is there any reason I should tell you anything when, clearly, you're already bias?"

I looked at the emts. I looked at his partner. I looked at all the lights and people coming out of their houses-

And behind me was her family.

Her sister that assaulted me, was laughing about having work in the morning.

All of them were looking at me, with hate in their eyes.

He tried to feed me bullshit about "well if I'm taking someone to jail, there has to be proof."

He dismissed everything I attempted to say, until I just stared at the ground and he decided he did his job here.

I told him my whole fucking body hurts because I had 4 people fucking toss my 100lbs ass all over the fucking room, which was a mess that he refused to look at.

He said "I don't see bruises."

I SPAT "BRUISES TAKE TIME?"

He retorted IMMEDIATELY- "YOU'RE NOT EVEN RED."

I asked what about the dispatcher- she seemed concerned- to which he said "you see, sometimes when people call us- they scream and be dramatic- for a quicker response."

I asked what we could do while the two weeks go by for our new place, and he fucking said "I DONT KNOW. BARRICADE YOURSELF IN YOUR ROOM OR SOMETHING."

Needless to say, we are now safe, in a hotel and I've gotten in touch with a few lgbt organizations that are attempting to help us get justice.

Unfortunately because it's a holiday weekend, all we can do is wait right now.

Our first order of business is getting a protection order, so that we can retrieve the rest of our things without her sister trying to attack us again. (I say us because she kept jumping towards Jackie, like she was threatening to hit her.)

I've been so gaslit and victim blamed that I was too scared to go to the er, even though this all happened in the midst of a flare, possibly including my liver health.

There's so much more to this story, as I'm sure other trans people can relate.. unfortunately.

The emts reluctantly offered to take me to the er, but I was like "and leave my partner here with them?" And he just fucking shrugged dude.

I hate this city.

I want out so bad but unfortunately I've committed to a year, but at least it'll be *our* apartment.

We could NOT stay there for two more weeks. Her step dad is a violent offender that has attempted to murder a homeless prostitute over some fucking pocket change- and he has a GUN in the house.

This hotel might run us into a hole, despite it being the cheapest, shittiest hotel in town, it's still going to be about 700$ for ONE week.

To ADD INSULT TO INJURY, SOMEONE ATTEMPTED TO STEAL MY VEHICLE WHILE WE'VE BEEN STAYING HERE.

I'm feeling incredibly paranoid and unsafe, but I'm on anxiety meds now at least and its SORTA helping us cope (My partner and I have the same Dr and she gave her permission to have some.)

The organization BRAVO is trying to help us with a hotel voucher, but because of all the natural disasters, it's hard to find room in charity for people like us, which is fair enough. We aren't immediately on the street, and for that I'm incredibly thankful.

However, if you or anyone you know wish to help you can donate to venmo: kittyzibby. Or you could just signal boost this.

If you can't help, I understand. And IF YOU'RE STRUGGLING FINANCIALLY, don't worry about it, for real.

Right now I'm just scared we'll go into debt before getting the apartment settled in.

I will update on things once our case moves along more, and we were already considering turning to OF sexwork before all of this, so if there could be support that way, maybe we'll get that going once we get moved in. That way, I feel good about providing a service in return.

Thank you so much for sticking with us during all of this. And really- we're doing much better today. We've given each other pep talks, but we are still determined to start our lives together.

Her family was merely trying to scare me away from her, but I got my girl's name tatted on me for a reason.

I know I'm not the bad person here.

Every time Jackie is feeling more gender euphoric, and showing me her changes, and seeing her get more confident, the more I know that what I'm doing with and for her, is right.

I love her so much. And I will never abandon her, like they tried to get me to do.

Jackie is taking a break from some socials, but she's given me permission to talk about what's been happening.

She needs justice too.

I will update as much as I can, but seriously, I think we both just have a fire under our asses now.

Mentally, we're stronger than ever.

Thank you for reading. My heart really goes out to the rest of the queer community that have experienced or are going through similar things.

It's really made me realize why we need to stick together and fight this bigotry bullshit! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

[downanight]

time for something serious - our rules!

it's day three of our buzz and that means it's time to get a little more serious: we're going to share our rules with you. this is a brief overview rather than the full set of rules, but we felt this would be a good introduction to everything we're hoping to achieve, and gives you the opportunity to check us out and make sure we're the right fit. you're also more than welcome to ask us questions if there's anything that seems to be missing or that you're unsure about.

p.s - our rules also have a sneaky preview of our graphics sizes!

rating

we are a premium jcink hosted site, and we require everyone to be at least eighteen years of age. this also includes our members, faces and characters.

we allow the threading of mature or triggering themes. we ask that you properly label posts and threads. if your character's back story includes triggering themes or there'll be consistent mention of triggering themes through their posts/dev, we've included a profile section where you can add this.

we also don't allow nudity or porn on the site.

general conduct

our community is built on the foundation of acceptance and mutual respect. we are all adults here, so please act like it. if there is anything going on behind the scenes that you feel an admin should be made aware about, please do not hesitate to reach out to one of us. we want to be a warm and accepting place, and we do not want anyone to feel that there is a reason they cannot be on our site. bullying, hate speech, harassment, and the like will not be accepted on site or in the discord.

inclusion

everyone is welcome at patios, regardless of identity. we strive for inclusion and acceptance. we encourage diversity wholeheartedly, as well as championing equal rights for all. have a zero tolerance policy against bigotry and hate: it has no place on our site.

please do not whitewash characters. please do not participate in ethnicity bending. please do not create caricatures, stereotypes, or ill-researched/offensive portrayals. your application will be immediately pended/rejected, and threads containing instances of this may be removed. if you want to play an identity you do not yourself identify with, please make sure you do your research and actively participate in writing positive, representative stories.

registration and creation

we do not allow multiple accounts of the same surname, unless it is for family use or culturally common. we will allow up to three characters to use the same first name - this includes different spelling (for example, kourtney vs. courtney).

when completing your shipper, please remember to have all fields of your mini-profile filled out. this includes all graphics etc.

graphics

our graphics sizes are as follows - a 250x400 avatar, one 80x80 relationship gif, a square gif and a 180x100 gif. all images will resize. as above, please refrain from using nsfw avatars!

claims

we follow the +/- five years rule when it comes to faces for our characters. if a face is the age of 25, we allow this character to be played anywhere from 20 to 30 years of age. the only time this won't apply is if -5 takes the character below 18 years of age

all faces should be verified or signed, alive, and not individuals who've explicitly asked not to be used in the rpc.

character limits

your first six accepted characters are free. after reaching your limit of free characters, you will need to start using points to purchase your characters.

if you are using an account of an archived character, you do not need to repurchase. you may also have points refunded.

we currently do not have a character cap, because we want everyone to reach all of their creative potential. however, this is dependent on activity.

activity requirements

our activity requirements are a minimum of one 200+ word post in a 10 day period, 2 or more rapid fire posts that equal 200+ words, or 10 comm posts (including opens).

we will be holding activity sweeps every two weeks, and the occasional check will be conducted if the staff feels like there needs to be one done. if your character falls to an activity sweep, you will have 48 hours from the time your account was listed and a pm was sent to the account to meet our activity requirements.

absences

if something does come up, we would really appreciate it if you threw up an absence in the absence board. absences can last up to two weeks, and you don’t have to explain yourself at all. if a longer absence is required, please reach out to a staff member so that we can be aware. we won't repeat the information you tell us, and you don't need to go into detail.

absences will save you from activity checks while your absence is active, and up to 5 days after your absence ends.

while on absence, you cannot create a new character nor reserve any faces until you're back.

realism & crime

jupiter is a real place, but we're not reflecting it completely. we operate on an elevated reality, which means places in the city will be altered and its general makeup will not necessarily reflect reality. similarly, your character does not need to 100% be accurate to reality. we aren't talking about superpowers here, but if they finished med school a year or 2 earlier to fit their timeline? we'll live.

at this moment we don't have any hard rules against criminal characters, but please exercise some common sense with this.

admin accountability

the patios admins have rules to follow to keep everyone accountable, and all current staff have accepted these rules. we have procedures put in place for if any of our rules are broken.

[milasartblog]

Students' gift

Disclaimer: This story happened before pajama party event. So that there was no confusion ^^'

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When King of Hell found some strength to continue his duty, things were slowly getting back to its daily state. It was not only about his tasks in Hell. Human realm duty called him too. Since that day when he became a teacher of literature as a cover to watch over Nazeel at school, students were confused at first and didn't really accept new teacher. Well, except couple of students, who got interested in him, maybe even had a crush. With time students got used to him, even more got attached to him. The atmosphere in the class was better since Lucifer appeared in their school life and lessons more interesting. Those who had zero interest in literature, changed their attitude to it. And when Lucifer didn't appear at school for a couple of weeks, students showed their concern about him. Different rumors were walking around the school, from illness to tragedy of his family member. But all of them were vanished when Lucifer finally appeared. And yet, students noticed his anxious behavior, lack of concentration, mumbling. To students question about his state Lucifer only replied with the phrase "I'm fine". But one group couldn't leave it all like this. They decided to try one thing. Today they were about to have the last lesson - literature. Couple of minutes left before the start of the lesson, and only five people were present in the class - two males and three females.

???: Is the pie still warm, April?

April: Yeah, Hugo, warm and fresh. Good thing I had some ingredients left for a pie.

???: Weren't you too mad at us for such request?

April: Oh, don't worry, Monika, I like to cook and bake. Plus, it's all for our teacher Lucio McKelin.

Monika: It's true. I just wished we could do something more.

???: Well, at least it's better than what Pierce suggested.

Pierce: Hey, what is bad in parties?? They are fun! Plus, your idea is not the best too, Elza.

Elza: What is bad in making yourself beautiful and greet our teacher like this?

Pierce: You want to do it because you want to make an impression on Lucio~

Elza: Weren't you trying to do the same?~

Monika: Guys, let's leave arguments for later. We have other important mission.

Hugo: Monika is right. Plus, what will go wrong if we all skip a lesson like this?

April: Well, maybe he will give more homeworks to do, but I guess it's worth to try. I tried my best to hide this pie till the end of the lesson.

Hugo: Agree, you did pretty big pie. I'm sure it will be delicious.

April: I hope so. I was amazed that only we came to the last lesson.

Hugo: Others were probably thinking to skip it. You know, since our teacher didn't pay much attention to them lately due to his anxiety.

April: That's sad honestly, but can't blame them. The only thing that confuses me is the papers with words "Thank" and "You".

Monika: Oh, this was my idea. As a member of cheerleader club I thought that little detail will make better impression on Lucio.

Pierce: Good that you didn't bring pom-poms with you.

Monika looked at Pierce a bit angrily as others giggled while Elza walked to the door to check up on their teacher.

Elza: You know, pom-poms would be a nice touch, but yeah. We're just trying to cheer him up, not to make a show. Speaking of the devil....he is getting closer to our classroom.

She rushed back to others as everyone were getting into their positions. Hearts were beating fast, feeling like they were on some kind of big test that decided their future. Steps were coming closer and closer, until the door started to open. And in front of them appeared their teacher Lucifer, who at first didn't look at them.

Lucifer: Sorry, guys for being late, unexpected things happened on my way to-

April: Mr. McKelin

Hearing his last name he looked at his students....with astonishment. Only five of his students stood here, with papers and pie in front of him, smiling.

Everyone: Thank you so much for everything, Lucio McKelin!

Such unexpected moment made Lucifer speechless. He was confused, not understanding what was going on. No words could come out, while students replied.

April: We've noticed that you were feeling down lately and despite your reply on our question, we thought that we could do something for you as our grattitude for everything you did for us.

Hugo: I would not imagine that I will change my opinion on literature. I mean, I'm still not a big fan of it, but one thing for sure is I won't judge a book by its cover.

Monika: Your way of teaching woke my interest up to some books I have wanted to read for a long time. Despite my trainings, I found strength to do it, and thanks to it, my speech during trainings at cheerleader club was better than years ago!

Elza: We will not ask the reason for your anxiety, Mr McKelin. But know that whatever happened, you can always rely on closest people. Like us~

Pierce: Well, we're not as close as family, but thanks to your stories and how honest and open you were during lessons, I felt like we were not just students and you were not just a teacher, but we were like friends. Damn, I didn't even fall asleep for the first time!

April: And so we came up with such idea. Maybe it's not much and not that great, but if it can cheer you up, that's what matters.

Everyone: Thank you again for everything, Lucio McKelin!

They smiled brightly while Lucifer didn't make a move for a moment. He didn't expect that such little group of human students would do something like this to the King of Hell himself. Sure, they don't know about it, and such things shouldn't be unusual to him. However seeing that there are still students who can change their attitude to the subject, who can still find a strength to work with teacher despite anything, it was something. He covered his mouth with hand, trying to hold his emotions, while little tear drops were betraying him. Students noticed it as immediately got worried.

Monika: S-Sorry, Mr. McKelin, we didn't meant to-

But their worry changed to confusion when Lucifer giggled softly, still trying to hold his emotions. Pierce was confused more.

Pierce: Umm, is everything alright, sir?

Lucifer: You guys are something, I must say~ You honestly didn't have to do it. My situation is not something you should worry about.

Hugo: But we still wanted to do something to cheer our teacher up. Well, it was honestly April's suggestion to do it, and we agreed.

April: In our school students always do something like this, so it's not our first time.

Lucifer: I see. Well, I'm impressed, that's for sure~ But aren't you afraid that like this we skip our lesson?

Students looked at each other with a sweat. They knew he will ask it. But their expressions changed again soon when Lucifer giggled softly again, drying his tears.

Lucifer: No need to do such looks, I won't tell other teachers~ I was not in a mood to do a lesson anyway.

Pierce: Wait, really??

Elza: Are you sure about it? Cause some of our teachers used to do lessons even with such mood like yours.

Lucifer: And yet, it's been couple of weeks like this. You know better than me that it isn't good for a sleepshedule and health.

Monika: Yeah, it's like with my trainings. Once a big event comes up to our school, we all are on nervs.

Lucifer: See? Plus, we can make it into a little dispute lesson, where we can discuss a new topic that I prepared for today.

Elza: That can be possible. Plus, it's nice to have something for a discussion time.

Lucifer: Agree. So, shall we start our disput lesson?~

Pierce: Hell yeah!

Monika: Pierce, don't shout!! Teachers are still at school!!

She quickly shut Pierce's mouth with angry expression as everyone laughed.

April: Well, then let's try a pie.

Hugo: I can bring some cups from our classroom cupboard here and an electric kettle.

Lucifer: Let me do it, as a thanks for such surprise~

Students wanted to disagree with it, but Lucifer did it anyway. Pierce was on guard if any of the teachers were walking pass by their classroom. Once they were sure that no one will walk in, they settled things up for a little resting time, chatting, discussing the new topic for the lesson and just chilling.

--------------

And that's another story for our universe^^ So sorry for not posting anything lately^^" Life kept me away from here. Still, hope you will enjoy it^^

April, Hugo, Monika, Elza, Pierce and Lucifer belong to @wildstarfan and @milasartblog (both me)

Okaria et Feria belongs to @wildstarfan and @captainthane