#from the get go so seeing him up close was kind surreal. like damn u really are a real person huh

[finex09]

Space Laces literally walked in front of me as he was leaving my job at the end of the night and I damn near fainted

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

It was only supposed to be a one night stand (part 4, Option YES)

Tw: sexual mentions

damn was hoping u guys would choose no so i could like show off his more yandere aspects but i have enough braincells to only choose one path, anwyasyys ejoyy

Part 3, part 5

You can't believe you're considering it, but you definitely gave him hope. He grinned from ear to ear when you said that you're going to see what you could do. As someone living in a big city, commitment is like the boogeyman to you. Or maybe it's something you also yearn for, but the hookup culture around you makes it near impossible.

Montgomery seems... okay. You don't know how you're going to fare from being a workaholic single and freely fucking strangers from dating apps, to becoming a committed partner to a country bumpkin.

You thought about it and you definitely felt bad. You used him for his money even though he didn't have a lot in the first place, you used him for his body and his time. Yet he's not your boyfriend, he was still under the "friend with benefits" umbrella. Maybe he deserved the promotion, he was nothing but loving and kind to you.

He thanked you profusely and promised ad nauseum that you're going to be loved and have a good time.

You didn't want to eat any more of the soup. It's cold and congealed, you stood up and walked away. He frantically asked where you were going.

You said that you're tired and you didn't want any more of the soup. He offered to reheat it for you, but you didn't respond and retired to your bedroom.

It felt surreal to him and you. Over the following days, Montgomery stayed over at your place. He felt like he was in bliss because after years of hurting his back by sleeping in his cramped car, he gets to sleep in a comfortable bed for a longer period of time. He could stretch and not hit his hand against the roof.

You couldn't believe that you're practically letting him move in. You could be minding your own business and doing chores, and he would come from behind to hug and kiss you. He probably knew that you secretly liked it because your shoves and shouts no longer deter him. He would pick you up and twirl you around at the most random times.

It makes sense his cooking skills are close to none, he's been living in his car for a while now and his mother does the cooking at home. So his tastebuds are accustomed to the chock-full takeout of sodium, oil, and sugar. You tried being nice and cooked him a meal, which he appreciated a lot and finished. But when you're not looking, he would use up to a bottle of hot sauce a meal. You also wondered why your salt and sugar stores were depleting rapidly.

The one thing that confused you is that his presence is rarely felt in the bathroom. At least in the living room, kitchen, and bedroom, he has his own personal belongings strewn around. But not the bathroom aside from his toothbrush and toothpaste. You thought he used your soaps, but it wasn't running out as fast as you expected.

Until one day, you caught him entering the shower with a bottle of dishwashing detergent in his hand. You said nothing and waited to see what he would do.

Once he was done, he returned the liquid soap to the kitchen. Is that why his hair felt like broom bristles? It... does make sense, though. Dish soap can remove the toughest stains and it's cost efficient too especially with his occupation as a construction worker. But it's still bizarre to witness.

Though he can't cook to save his life, he makes the best sweet tea you ever tasted, even though you felt like it would give you diabetes induced gangrene for every sip you take. There is always a pitcher full of it in your fridge.

He drives you to work every single day, pecking you on the forehead goodbye and telling you that he's going to come by for lunch. You're not necessarily spending all your breaks with him though, but now you're considerate enough to tell him if you're going to be with your coworkers.

He would be sulkier and clingier than usual if you went out without him.

You wondered what he did for fun. Observing him wasn't giving you the information you wanted, because as soon as he comes back from a long day of work, he would collapse onto the sofa and doze off- that is if you're both not fucking each other.

He rarely takes days off because he needed the money to keep sustaining his takeout-fuelled lifestyle. Montgomery needs cash more than ever now because he has another mouth to feed, even though you rather cook your groceries instead.

Perhaps he doesn't understand. He said that you must be exhausted from working, cooking will only make your fatigue worse. You think he's forgetting you're working a desk job, not something that requires the calories in a bucket of double deep fried chicken.

"You work so hard everyday." He had a concerned look on his face when you shook your head at the pizza box. "You should rest instead of cooking. I have dinner covered."

He also covers lunch. And breakfast.

Breakfast is usually hotdogs or whatever food stalls are open nearby. Since he has access to your fridge and freezer, you note that he would eat the leftovers or stuff that you rejected. It seems like he reheated it before bringing it to work.

You're slowly accepting him into your life. Sometimes you would pack lunch for him and it never fails to make him kneel in front of you and kiss your knuckles. At least you know that he's grateful no matter how over the top his displays of appreciation were.

He may be messy at times, but he's a good man. He takes out the trash, he wash the dishes and he sweeps the floor. So you could forgive the occasional pair of paint-soiled pants lying on the floor. Unfortunately, your water and electric bills went up because he had to use your washing machine quite frequently. You complained to him about it, and he apologized and insisted on paying your utility bills from now on.

It was weird... to say the least when he spent a week beating himself up for being 'ungentlemanly'. When pressed what he meant by that, he said he felt embarrassed that you're providing for him, while it should be the other way round. So to give his manly pride back, he's also paying for your, student loans, mortgage, and groceries. And other miscellaneous subscriptions that weren't there before meeting him.

The weight of the expenses is visibly wearing him thin. But he keeps going, earning as much as he can to spoil you. More times than you can count, you had to console him because he was comparing himself to rich men in sports cars who could afford to pamper their partners with luxury. He kept thinking that he was this lowly cretin that couldn't even muster the funds to buy you a chic car. Completely dismissing the fact that his paycheck each week solely goes to your personal expenses and none to his savings. Sometimes borrowing fifty bucks from his coworkers just to get you a bouquet of roses that you may or may not have thrown into your compost bin.

You never asked for these costly, but romantic gestures. But he insisted, claiming it was a boyfriend's duty; even seemingly suffering from mental breakdowns if he didn't do them.

It confused you, did this all start because you told him off for using the washer too much? It's not like you blew up at him, you just told him to be mindful of his habits.

Then one day, when both of you had days off, he brought you to the mall to shop. He told you to get whatever you wanted, no price was too high for him. Except, you know at least two-thirds of the goods you eyed at was going to bring him to bankruptcy.

While looking at something from a window, you saw in your reflection, Montgomery watching something.

Shifting your eyes, you spotted him staring at a man carrying shopping bags upon shopping bags for his girlfriend. Then he brought his attention to a couple buying an expensive jewel-crusted necklace in a nearby store. There was a man who gave his husband a credit card, which he then happily pranced into the nearest smartphone store. A woman came out of a salon with fresh acrylic nails, they had intricate designs on it. Must have been pricy, but a man was the one who paid for her appointment, the woman then hooked her arm around an older gentleman's; pecking him on the cheek as they walked away.

He locked his eyes on a man with the most beautiful, long jet-black hair. Dressed head to toe in classy clothes, clacks from his heels reached Montgomery's ears as he walked past him. Not once sparing a glance at your boyfriend, deeming him too insignificant. The stranger adjusted the straps of his very obviously luxury bag on his shoulder. The man clearly extrudes wealth and elegance.

You saw Montgomery's shoulder sag, realizing that his shirt and chore jacket were old and relatively tattered, ruined by old stains. He brought his hands to his rough stubble and sun-spotted skin, he is nothing like the normal inhabitants here. He crossed hugged his arms and hunched his back, attempting to shrink himself.

At first, you didn't get what was he looking and reacting at, because you're used to the scene. Then you realized, he had probably never seen such things occur in his small hometown, he must have noticed it even more since you and he officially became a pair. Making him horribly insecure about his financial standing, he must have felt incredibly left out by the community in the city. Hence the crippling loneliness.

You wonder if you should say anything.

[moimoimoinnnn]

Welcome ladies and gentlemen give it up for the band Hi we'Re the Ban dmy name is Jayho and this is my friend Sung Bun we are from South Korea and we will be one of Koreeas favorite band ever oR TAHT IS OUR GOAL ANYWAY WE LET YOUD ECIDE AND BE SURE YOURE GONNA JUDGE WISELY. ;) WE RECENTLY GAVE OUT OR EP CALLED WHAT IS LOVE BUT COPURIGHT SO WE HAD TO CHANGE IT TN LOVE IS WHAT BUT IF YOU AKS ME ITS ALWAYS WHAT IS LOVE ALTHOUGH I KNOW IT OK I WAS ALWAYS PLAYING LOVELY DOVELY YES I SAID TAHT IN high school i wa sthe pumpkin spiced latte said cause i was half white but im not a basic bitch and yes i said was cause i died but got chrynofrozen and tgehn unfrosen back ti life it wa surreal i was not willing to do so but hey im bakc and now i dont understand why i wasnt willing to do so in the frst place. Anwyay my single dead and then undead was really popular

gee i winder hwy sung bin not round now i am talkning tomy fans 'bro your camera is turned off

more like on Minhjoo said when he came in th eroom

eight Minhoo can you scootsh back ok this is worse than that band with more than 84 memebers and still called them 84 what a world i know right but before we could continue our intelligent conversation the bus took a turn for the worse or a u turn we grabbed our seats but no too late i hit my head we all did and woke upin the hopsital not remembebirng a athing so we must learn how to be kpop stars all over again pretty much guys

so first of all the fan service can you do taht

well since minwhioo only love himself you should ask him that if he could hey self love is important mnot this much we all said

ok so

Kim PARK

CAN YO U PARK YOUR CAR

if tah s what yo uare gonna call it then yes

night pk get going guys and os we did we practisied dancing for four hours not five thank god and sang and everything until we couldnt talk literally lol

butn ot lol my throat hurts Minwhoo cried ill help you i said Thanks Kim Kimchi

tahts not my STAGE NAME AND NEVER WILL BE well what ever my pumpkin hey no tahts the other guy

i know he said adn kissed in the air to me

i but my hand in a way

no way i was getting kisses and def no t air kisses

they were more seriosu that anything

oro should isay cheerios and im niot saying that cause i ve been paid tp but we got pur paycheddk fro mcherrios so

Anyway we were lit liek our stage all in candles teh show was lit

And the nMinwhoo told me to get to the stage room

i felt like iwas in A drama Why would you call form e so unesxpectactly

well i have a request

ok

can you become my man

on nstage

catch you and stuff we already practised that wjen i jump you jump ok i know but i mea in bed

in bed

i was not sure what he meant

ok dont be so nervous he said take of your shirt what

kome here kimchi he said and began to undress

i looked at his abs they were marvelious

i felt hugnry no thirsty well both'

i couldt stop looking i was in awe

so much so that i got a boner akward i hadnt even started to undress

its ok i know him Minwhoo said

of COURRSE YOU TOO YOU SELF LOVER

WELL I CAN PLAY FOR THE OTHER TEAM AS WELL TOO HE SAID AND WE BEGAN TO KISS AND MAN IT WAS HOT MAKEOUT SESSION MY FAVORITE KIND OF SESSION. mY GOD YOURÉ GOOD I SAID DEFIENLTY NOT BAD YOURSLEF EITEHR

I CANT BELIEVE IUT WE WERE KISSING WE WERE SO NAUGHTY BIYS I MEAN UHUM MEN ANTWAY WHO LIEKS TO PLAY NICE ALL THE TIE EITHERWAY

SO WE WENT PON AND ON AND sEUNG bIN WALKED IN WHAT ARE YO UGUYS DOIN OK OK I SEE WELL I Knew you would be close but damn you´Re reall yclosoe thats cool btw

oh man icnat believe im saying this but Sung bin your nit Sung IN this story

sayonara OK KIM kIMCHI

Hey ilove that food

i thought you loved me Minhoo said and laughed i started to laugh to o we had a fun night that night filled with joy and lauughter;)

It wa sbetetr than our band called teh band so we were the band teh band or teh band band as our fans called us

[father-time-and-baby-new-year]

happy 200! i’m so glad to see your blog grow, it’s one of my favorites and i adore all your writing. i’ve never cried so much and i love the kind of unsettling feeling you write in your fics, it’s perfect in the category of yandere and dark content. in particular, i loved your drabble about shigaraki mourning over a dead reader and i’ve reread that one too many times to count haha! as for asks for headcannons and drabbles, it would be amazing to see that with bully!eren especially since he was such an awful person to the reader. i’d love to see him suffer honestly, but if you don’t want to write it, that’s completely fine! once again, i’m so proud of you for hitting 200! that’s such a huge milestone and hopefully, there will be many more in the future! :)

SYNOPSIS: bully!Eren has to navigate the world without you.

Pairing: Bully!Eren x Fem!Reader

A/N: I can't even explain in words how much I CHEESED at this message like my grin was ear to ear. can't explain how many times I read this. It singlehandedly made my day anon, and to repay you for my happiness....here is some angst. this is a slightly different route than the shiggy one but I hope it still suits you <3

TW: mentions of death, past dubcon/noncon, mentions of trauma, bullying, alcohol addiction, drunk driving, abusive behavior, revenge porn, nonconsensual photography/videography, mentions of infidelity, angst, so much of angst, violent behavior

WC: 2.5k

It's not like Eren had been doing a lot of soul-searching. He's not delusional enough to label his half-assed epiphany of "maybe I'm a shitty person" as soul searching.

It's just the conversation with his very sick mother burned holes through the back of his mind. Carla had asked about you and why you don't come by the house anymore. How she missed baking with you in the kitchen, and how you sweetly smiled whenever you would see soft creamy peaks form in the meringue.

Eren felt like he was swallowing needles as he assured his mother with false truths, that nothing was going on and distance between childhood friends is natural, and if it means so much--ok ok he'll bring you over.

He stays until he sees her chest slowly rising and falling into a gentle asleep. He touches the tip of his ears, unsurprised by how hot it was.

Eren, when you tell a lie, the tips of your ears turn red.

You're not at school the next day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that.

Guilt is not an emotion he feels often but the events of the past weekend replay in his mind. It was just a dumb party that Floch threw, and he was surprised to find you cornered by a trio of thee dunderheads. Like a distorted fairytale, he swept you away from the bad guys like a knight in shining armor, to only shove you in an empty room and demand compensation for playing hero.

Fuck, with that big mouth, you would think that you'd know how to suck cock.

Use your tongue stupid slut. If you use teeth, I'll shove this dick in your ass without any prep.

No, I don't care, you're taking all of it.

There's a video on his camera roll. How could he not record it? You're sobbing, mascara running down your cheeks, looking so beautiful and ruined with jizz smeared at the corner of your mouth. He was brutally fucking your mouth, making you take all of his length.

Breathe through your nose dumb whore. Or else you're gonna run out of air.

You were pleading with whatever garbled sounds you were constricted into producing.

Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.

Eren is conflicted with muting the video because he can't stand to hear himself like that. But he didn't want to miss out on your pitiful whines.

He remembers the distraught expression on your face when he was finally done with you. He tucked himself inside, and sneered, "I've got a girl coming here. Get lost." You looked so fucking distraught. Why? All he did was make you suck his dick. He didn't even fuck you.

He should have. Eren thinks grimly when he stares at your empty desk on the first day you didn't show up to school. He's gotten off to the video more than enough times than he can count over the weekend, and he was aching to see your pretty face twisted into a terrorized expression when he flipped up your skirt to grope your ass.

Kindly, Eren decides he'd allow you to have a rest day. But the second day, Eren pays a visit to your house finding it dark and locked, like no one was home and hadn't been there for a while.

On the third day, you're declared missing.

Your incompetent workaholic mother who finally came home and decided to give a damn reported you missing to the authorities who had scratched their heads because as far as they knew, the pivotal 72 hours were up.

Paradis was surrounded by forests. No one wanted to say it, but they were all thinking it. If you got lost in there, chances are you wouldn't make it out.

Eren wasn't always this admired and fawned over. He had his fair share of behavioral issues that frightened people (not you though, not then at least, not when you were children, and you still came back every day to play).

But when he channeled that anger into sports, there was somewhat of a star in the making, especially for some small-town boy. He was becoming extremely popular, and that's nice and all, but at the end of the day, he has a mother whose health was taking a sharp decline. He was constantly under stress, stress that he took out on you.

Where did his favorite stress-ball go?

It's all fucking surreal. Having detectives in the school. Not that there were many students to question (because christ, did you even have any friends after Eren turned everyone against you?).

Eren was questioned. He can't help but mirthfully chuckle. Maybe this was your grand plan, maybe you were able to finally sort out a mountain of evidence against him. If you were going to fuck him over, didn't you want to see it happen with your own two eyes?

The dark-haired boy wishes that was true. If you had gotten your revenge, would you be here? No, revenge isn't the right word. If you got any justice for what he made you suffer, would you come back?

Hi, I'm Detective Hange. I would like to ask you some questions today. You're Eren Yeager, right?

Yes, that's me.

How do you know ___?

We were childhood friends. We're uh, we're not as close anymore.

When was the last time you saw her?

Friday night at Floch's party-

-Floch Forster right? There were a number of kids there from your school.

Yeah. It was a big party. She uh, doesn't usually come to parties but she was there that night.

You were the last person to be seen with her. Other kids have said that they saw you and her entering a room together, and then only her leaving the said room.

[Sigh] Yeah we sorta...hooked up.

I thought you said you guys weren't close anymore.

You can be not close to someone and still hook up with them.

But you guys were close once right?

Yeah. Once.

The dark-haired boy asks if he was under any suspicion. The detective waves their hand in a dismissive gesture, “If her diary tells us anything, it’s only that she really liked you.”

Were detectives even allowed to divulge that sort of information? Eren doesn’t know but the stray detail that they offered off-handedly made him feel like he was swallowing needles.

At that point, Eren honestly still doesn't believe you're gone. You had a habit of running away, even when you were little kids, but you always came back.

Still, he participates in the search parties with a renewed vigor, even going alone in the forest with a flashlight on most nights.

And he's just so fucking tired. The darkest crevice of his mind almost wishes you were dead because this ignorance was just agony. Almost. Because he still clings to the feeling that one day, he’ll stroll into class and find you in your seat in the back of the class, looking out the window like some cliche shojo manga protagonist.

There are folders and folders on his phone. Albums. The most recent one is dedicated to your crying face as you were choking on his dick. Earlier albums are composed of creepshots of your panties, of that obscene o-face, of your skirt flipped up and your ass cheeks, pictures of your cleavage, videos of you thrashing as he dunked your head into toilets like a villainous middle school bully.

Pictures of your neck covered in hickeys, your naked breasts, ass cheeks striped with red after getting spanked, your leaking cunt, just endless and endless media dedicated to pieces and pieces of your body like you were never a whole person.

The earliest ones though tell a different tale, from off-guards to your drooling face as you napped in the middle of the day.

He has a favorite picture. Your eyes are watery from the cold, snowflakes stuck between lashes, nose and cheeks flushed red, and you're smiling. Smiling right to the camera. Right at him.

"Eren, are you taking a picture?" You asked, bouncing in place, giddy that it was finally snowing.

"Not of you, shut up. Get out of the way." His voice is gruff but not harsh.

You laughed and jumped into frame anyway, and the bright streetlamp behind you made you seem like you were wearing a halo.

He wishes he had more pictures of you being...yourself. Because now your crying face displayed over countless pixels haunt him. But like a fucking degenerate, he still jerks off to all the nudes he coerced from you. Sometimes he cries when he's jerking off which is probably the most pathetic thing he's ever done. This is what you've reduced him to.

He hates the sound of his own voice.

Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.

Eren goes through the motions of life without really feeling like he's in the moment. Seasons change and time flies. His mother dies, and his withdrawn father dies a year later. He proposes to Mikasa because it's something he was always supposed to do. She loves him unconditionally, so even when he doesn't put any effort into the relationship but proposes, she says yes hoping he'll change and be a good husband.

He doesn't go to his parents' funerals because they're already dead. What's the point. He doesn't visit the candlelight vigils in your honor either. After tearing his ACL again and a somewhat traumatic injury, he kisses his pro-football career goodbye. To be totally honest, he's relieved. Because he had gotten quite bored, and maybe he was looking for excuses to quit the entire time. It's not like you'd be cheering on the bleachers anyways.

Mikasa has an affair, more out of a desire to see her fiancé feel something for her as opposed to any burning lust. But when she asks him if he's ever cared at all, with tears springing out of her eyes, he's just calmly drinking his fifth of whisky.

The dark-haired man doesn't even look up, "Let's break up."

"Is this about her, huh? Fucking get over it already Eren. She's GONE. And you have some big fucking audacity moping about her death like you weren't making her cry in the bathroom stalls every fucking day you piece of shit."

"Get out."

"You know what, I bet she killed herse-"

SMASH

The dark-haired woman doesn't finish her rant because the whiskey bottle smashes on the wall next to her head, sending glass everywhere and staining the carpet amber. She's unharmed, knowing it wasn't Eren's intention to hit her but Jesus Christ, what a monster.

She packs her bags and leaves the town like she should have a long time ago. All her friends had left years before and she stayed behind because that's where Eren was. She thanks her lucky stars that they didn't marry.

It's funny because he had always imagined himself being the first to move out of their small town, but he's the one staying. He can't leave this place. feels too tethered to ever leave. Every diner and liquor store is saturated with memories of you. He remembers buying cigarettes and exhaling the smoke to your face to piss you off in empty parking lots.

Maybe he stays in case you'll come back.

Eren's days consist of alcohol-fueled hazes. He doesn't know how his liver is still functioning. He doesn't know he's still alive after crashing his car into a tree when he was drunk out of his mind. He was on his way to get some more vodka.

He barely recognizes himself in the mirror anymore, not that he looks at himself much. His hair is long, nestled around his shoulder because he couldn't be bothered to cut it, dark circles under viridian eyes, and a perpetual stubble on his jaw.

His parents had left quite a sizable inheritance so there's no need to work but he's good with his hands. Likes crafting up birdhouses and cabinets, and occasionally does odd jobs around the neighborhood, never charging the elderly.

He's under the sink, tinkering with a wrench against the pipes when he hears the old lady coo at him.

"We're so lucky to have you Eren. I'm surprised a handsome young man like yourself doesn't have a special lady. The girls must be lining up at your door!"

The dark-haired man winces, and offers no comment, knowing that that the older lady was susceptible to long tangents.

"You know, we're getting a new neighbor." Eren grunts as a response. "They're young, I've heard. Isn't that exciting? Oh my, Eren! I think they're gonna be living in the house right next to yours..."

He tunes out the rest of the conversation because doesn't really care. He just hopes his new neighbors are quiet.

It's Sunday noon when obnoxious noises of moving trucks and people wake him up from his deep slumber. Eren's annoyed to wake up despite the fact he's probably been sleeping over 15 hours. He oscillates between getting too much sleep and getting none, his sleeping habits completely dependent on his dreams.

His nightmares are too visceral, visions of your corpse asking him if he'd enjoyed hollowing your soul with his teeth.

His dreams are achingly sweet. You in your prom gown, shining so iridescently like diamonds were sewn into the silk. He's dancing with you, holding you close, and then after you guys go to your favorite diner and gorge on burgers and milkshakes.

There's a peal of distinctly feminine laughter that stirs up Eren's senses. He's so pathetic, was the mere sound of a woman laughing getting him excited?

He sighs. He thinks of the whore he's frequently visited because of her resemblance to you. Hair color, skin color, face shape--with enough alcohol, he could really convince the person beneath him, was you. Maybe it's time to give her a call, but she's gotten so fucking needy and he hated how her voice didn't match yours.

The green-eyed man peers from the lace curtains, irritated by the brats playing on his lawn. A full family next door? Great, just what he needs.

The friendly knock on his door breaks him out of his daze. He contemplates whether he should answer but on the second more muted knock, he lets his feet guide him.

He turns the knob.

And Eren Yeager completely shatters.

Because it's you isn't it? You're the person standing in front of him? He can hear what you're saying but he doesn't really register it, soaking in the cadence of a voice he had long forgotten because all he had were pleading whimpers and frenzied moans stored on his cell.

He's shaking. Is he dreaming? He's dreaming, right? He knows it's you. You're older, far more beautiful than he's ever seen you. You have a different hairstyle, wearing clothes he would have mocked you for, and there's this joyfulness within you that makes you glow.

There's a mess of emotions electrifying in the pits of his stomach from euphoria, anger, and dread. He could feel his skin growing clammy like he was about to vomit at any second.

"Hey, are you all right?"

Doe eyes full of concern peer up at him. He voices out the syllables of your name like a desperate prayer.

You tilt your head to the side, "How do you know my name?"

[red-doll-face]

S/O survivor that's popular amoung the other survivors because they are incredibly honest, kind/sweet, selfless, often put others before themselves, and tends to overwork themselves for others. The other survivors tend to be incredibly drawn to them. For: Joey, Frank, Ghostface/Danny, and Wraith Please?

Sure! I hope u enjoy my characterization because Joey has very little backstory and thank god bc dbd has been shitting themselves when it comes to lore lately. These came out a little sadder than I wanted them to but shrug

Sweet gn Reader x DBD killers Hcs

Joey ‘The Legion’

Joey doesn't understand why you're so nice all the time. It doesn't benefit you, you're always exhausted; on top of all of that, all you get in return is a thanks and measly smile.

Eventually, he can see why your kindness or where your kindness might actually pay off. It returns to you in his trials against you where he can observe your teammates going out of their way to help you, to pay back for the things you do for them.

He hears from his friends that your kindness is sometimes the reason for your success and your downfall, you can go back and get a save during the endgame that saves your teammates life or you just end up dying too.

Joey can admit he's a little envious and maybe even a little jealous. He’s envious that you get to even be nice, of how outgoing you are. He’s jealous of how much you make them smile. How much you smile because of them. Unafraid to show you special treatment because of your relationship with him. He’ll make up sooner or later.

He’s surprised that you end up liking him. He’s a killer, a little withdrawn for you he thinks but you always let him stay in his comfort zone and include him so he doesn't feel cut out of your life. He's grateful that out of all the people you could possibly choose to hold close, you chose him.

Makes sure you take ample breaks so that you’re not entirely worn out by your altruistic tendencies.

Frank ‘The Legion’ Morrison

God, he hates you. You’re so… nice all the damn time! But he loves you for it too and he doesn't like that at first. It’s probably why you even caught his attention. A beacon of light in such a dark place has him gravitating towards you like your fellow survivors. You so obviously stick out among your teammates.

Also gets a little jealous at how your kindness isn’t just for him. Stop healing and smiling at other people! He knows that this is just who you are but he still gets a little mad because he's a bit of an attention whore, mostly for your attention.

Frank genuinely tries to get you to be a little meaner. He wants you to see the ‘error in your ways’. How much safer you would be if you didnt save all of these people and put your ass on the line for some piece of shit who wouldn't do the same for you.

This stems from his anger that he can’t always be there to protect you so the fact that he knows that you often go the extra mile for your friends upsets him.

Frank is angry yet endeared by your kindness and as much as he wants you to feel the consequences of your selflessness, he still offers you a shelter in the storm.

Danny ‘The Ghostface’ Johnson

Why are you like this? What has kindness ever rewarded you that makes it so worth it to act like some sort of pious saint? He simply does not get it. Definitely another one who is like “aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you just want to go apeshit?” Danny wants you to understand what cruelty has rewarded him with but he has very little to show for it.

At first, he thought it might have been a sort of venus fly trap, catching more flies with honey act much like his own alter ego, but to find that it's real makes him want to break it out of you. The more and more you come back just as sweet as before gets him more interested in you, finding your light quickly becoming something he wants to keep for himself.

In trials with you, Danny tries to save you for last but he’ll still injure you so the entity just assumes you’re one slippery fish. Who knows if that's actually working.

Danny is very possessive over not just you but also your actions, he wants to control them and keep your nice words to himself but his powerlessness in this regard makes him so mad.

Overall, your kindness is something that he easily takes advantage of and even lies a lot about who he used to be to garner sympathy from you. He might get caught in his lies at some point but he's quick with excuses. He loves your attention and how much you make his teeth hurt from being so sweet.

Philip ‘The Wraith’ Ojomo

Philip is so fascinated by you, he is literally a moth to your flame. The kindness you treat your teammates with has him wishing he were a survivor too. He wants you to gently wrap bandages around him and smile at him and joke with him.

When he finds you're nice to even him, a mere shadow of what he used to be, he’s half convinced that you're an angel or some kind divine spirit. Then he wishes even more to be able to take you away from here. Philip knows that you don’t belong here.

Spends a lot of his time watching you be nice to other people but when you show him your smile and get to know him, he truly is a gentle giant, bowing to press shimmery kisses to your forehead and receiving them from you.

Wants you to take better care of yourself, he is afraid you’ll wear yourself thin. Especially since he doesn’t control how cruel other killers are or how much they might use your attitude against you.

Dreads being in trials with you, hates the thought of hurting such a soul as yours. Ignores you as much as possible, hoping to a higher power that you escape. If you don’t and he is forced to kill you, he refuses to think himself worthy of you and tries to give you space.

Your spirit of tenderness is something so surreal to him and he thinks you are his new sunshine. You keep him warm in such a cold place as the fog. Philip wouldn’t trade you for anything.

This is my first time writing for wraith so I hope these are ok! Thanks for reading and requesting! 💖

[quirklessidiot]

Title: coward :: epilogue Pairing: Y/N x Miya Atsumu Genre: angst, romance, and very slow burn [ex to lovers au] Warnings: Cursing, alcohol, mentions of unprotected sex, unplanned pregnancy, heavy mentions of abortion, and brief mentions of trauma

notes:

we’ve finally reached it guys! the end :”> this story has been one of the things i’m very much proud of. From this chapter onwards, it’s all just fluff and well Atsumu and Y/N content. thank you for sticking around despite the slow burns and see you on the side stories and the drabbles. ill be accepting eight drabbles for this story and it’ll be open after all the side stories are complete, uwu.

previous    masterlist  [ ss;; one, two, three, four ]

“...I wonder how you put them to bed.”

“They usually sleep immediately after I give them a glass of milk.” You blinked, looking up from your paperwork, “Did they give you a hard time again?”

“They chunked a pillow at me and that started a pillow fight.”

Soft laughter filled the room and Atsumu felt his heart soften at the sound of that, such a beautiful laugh you had. 

It’s been a year since that confrontation but it feels so surreal whenever he wakes up to see you lying next to him, snuggled on his chest or the kids suddenly barging into the room to catapult themselves to bed with you two.

Him, you, children. 

A family.

“Are you not going to sleep yet?”

“No,” You breathed, shifting through paper works,“I have to finish this if I want to watch your game next week.”

“Can I lay on your lap then?”

“We have a very big bed.” You deadpanned, you were still stoic and blank as ever but comparing to before, you were more open to him with your emotions and thoughts. Albeit, he didn’t know much about why you ran away -  Daiki says to give you some time -  or what happened with your family, he doesn’t mind because he promised he’d wait and be patient with you. 

Atsumu even suggests that if you can’t talk to him about it, he’d willingly look for good psychiatrists around the area to help with your trauma. The sessions seem to be going well so far, albeit it was slow, you were finally taking the proper steps to heal.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Atsumu grinned childishly and situated himself on your lap. Unknowingly, you’d start playing with his hair. He suddenly feels like he’s about to doze off by the domestic gesture and the familiar sound of your breathing but he is immediately awoken by the small voice of yours.

“Do you want to know why I never introduced you to my family?” you suddenly asked, his eyes slowly turned towards you yet you continue to play with his hair nonchalantly as if you weren’t talking about a heavy topic, “Our situation was a lot like my parents. I was born when my okaasan was in the middle of studying medicine and my otosan was a law student.”

Atsumu remains quiet as he listens to your story.

“They were both from very rich families with promising futures, they dated, they were happy until I happened…” You paused, continuing to play with his hair, “Okaasan wasn’t able to finish her course and she got depressed because of that, her family had turned her back on her. So she begged otosan to marry her even if he didn’t want to so that she could finish her degree and return to her family.”

You continue your story; telling him everything about how your father fell out of love with your mother, how scared you were of your mother growing up, how she quit being a doctor because she was an alcoholic and almost sued for drinking on the job, and how you came to the realization that you weren’t supposed to be born when you were only eight years old, “...that night we met at the frat party was the day of my otosan’s wedding to his mistress, they had called out how the previous wedding and me was a mistake as a joke but it still kind of stinged.” You confessed, “I didn’t know what I’d do if I hadn’t met you that night.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice was soft, comforting even and it made you smile because despite his rather loud attitude, he understood you very well and was very patient with you.

He’s empathetic and it makes you wonder why you even ran away in the first place, maybe Daiki was right that night seven years ago, maybe you should’ve told him and stayed with him.

“Whenever I was with you back then, you didn’t make me feel that way so I didn’t want to spoil it or destroy that feeling. I didn’t want you to see me in that light.” You divulged, recalling the memories you had with him, “I felt like I was supposed to be there with you. You were a reminder that it was alright to be alive. That I wasn’t a mistake.”

Comfortable silence fills the air as he takes it all in.

Atsumu takes a hold of your hand that’s playing with his hair and gives it a comforting peck, “Was that also why you couldn’t tell me back then that you were pregnant?”

“You were being scouted for the jackals that time and I was scared we’d end up like my parents because I disrupted your dreams.” You ran your hands through his hair again, playing with the blonde strands, “I didn’t want the kids yet at the same time I couldn’t abort them because they were yours.It was very confusing.” 

“Would you...Would you have pushed through with it? With the abortion?”

“Probably.” you blinked, recalling that moment you were at the clinic,you recalled the feeling of nervousness as you waited for them to call your name,  “With the past I had, I doubt I would’ve made a good mother. Would you have hated me if I had done it?”

“No. I don’t think I would.I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love those brats, I love this family but at the end of the day, it would’ve been your choice.” He replies softly, drawing small circles on your hands, “It would’ve been better if you went up to me and told me though, at least I would’ve been there.”

“Well, in the end, I didn’t push through. I couldn’t do it. They were yours as much as they were mine and I couldn’t let that go after breaking off with you.” you paused, “I also told myself that they’d never feel that way, that they’d never feel as if they were born out of a mistake.”

“And you did a damn good job at it.” He complimented, “You placed your own okaasan to shame.” 

“You placed my otosan to shame too…” You smiled softly, suddenly a question popped in your head, you might as well ask it now since the timing seemed to be better than ever, “Would you like to get married?”

Atsumu’s eyes immediately widen at what you said and he sits up, “What the hell, Y/N? I should be the one asking that!” He loudly exclaims and you cover his mouth to muffle his voice.

“The kids are asleep.” You choke back a laughter, shushing him, “And I think it should be me the one who should ask for your hand, after all the shit I put you through-”

The blonde setter takes your hands off his mouth and cuts you off, “First of all, that was my choice. Second of all, how many times do I have to tell you that we were both at fault there? We’re doing a damn good job now. Mind you,” he immediately scrambles out of the bed right after before you could say anything else and looks through his sock dresser, he takes out a small box and your eyes widen, is that what you thought it was?

“I was supposed to give it to you when I officially got in the jackals back then.” Atsumu sheepishly confessed, “I couldn’t throw it away after you left, it was the little hope I guess that you’d come back. I mean, I’ll get you a new one now since i got-”

“I didn’t think you were the sappy type.” You glazed, cutting him off, completely enamored by the gesture, “You’re very cheesy.”

“Only to you.”

You scrunch your nose, faking a disgusted look but Atsumu knows better than that and just crawls back in your arms and gives you a chaste kiss on the lips that you reciprocate almost immediately. It’s slow, languid, and passionate. Something people wouldn’t expect from someone like him.

“Don’t bother buying a new one, I think I like this one better.” You smiled, pulling away as you hold out your hand in which he happily puts on the simple band. He looks into your eyes again, the eyes he loved looking at since he was nineteen. The eyes that were filled with so much emotion that it always contrasted your face that was void of emotions. The same eyes that he dreamed his kids (and they did) to have when he asked you that one night if you wanted to have a family.

“I’m in love with you.” you break the silence.

You never said those words out loud before to him but hearing it now, after all that you’ve both been through. It’s worth it.

He’d do it all again just to be in this moment.

“I’m very much in love with you too.” He grins, leaning back in for another kiss.

Finally…

Finally he was able to catch up with you.

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[kuroos-moon]

「vi. Deal pt. 2」

warning/s: angst (just a lil bit)

a/note: for this smau, like my previous one, there will be numerous chapters wherein they aren’t text chains or necessarily smaus just like this chapter and the prologue. If that’s not to ur liking, or for any reason at all, pls feel free to tell me u wanna be removed from the taglist 🖤

He skeptically looks out through his window, and just like you had texted him a minute ago, there were no more reporters outside. Finally, he thought, not really expecting you to be telling the truth. Honestly, why do you mess with him so much? 

Also, he’s been wondering ever since your reunion if you deliberately went to the gym for him or if that was pure coincidence and you’re spontaneously messing up his life right now. The moment he opens his door, he’s adamant on avoiding you because he just knew the person you were now is adamant on driving him insane by doing things like popping out of nowhere to pester him. 

Speaking of which, what the hell are you doing in front of his doorstep? “Sakusa Kiyoomi!” You brightly smile, eyes lighting up at the very sight of him. “Nope.” He pulls the door close but you put a hand to stop him. He tugs on it, making you chuckle, but you stubbornly refuse to let him shut you out. 

“Get out.” He snaps. “I’m not even inside, Sakusa Kiyoomi.” 

Seriously? Saying his full name like that only ticks him off. “Don’t call me that.” He tugs harsher on his doorknob but you successfully grip the door with both hands now. 

“Shall I call you love then?” You tease despite finding it extremely hard to keep the door open. It may now have dawned on to him that this was pointless as he lets go, though he’ll never admit that he’s actually afraid of accidentally shutting the door on your fingers—he knows he easily could. 

“What do you want?” He sighs. “We need to talk.” 

“About what?” How you left me? How you had the audacity to walk back in my life like you didn’t trample all over me before? 

“Our relationship,” you grin. He chokes. “Our what now?” Laughter erupts from your throat, and it was bittersweet. You’re so carefree and mesmerizing—your eyes angelic and genuinely alight. But more than that, you’re ruthless and despicable, he knows that all too well. 

“Won’t you invite me in? It’s cold y’know,” you place your hands inside your pockets. “Then freeze,” he narrows his eyes. He absolutely hates you, here he was slightly worrying he’ll go soft and easy on you because one could never control the heart yet you so easily reminded him of why you were the bane to his existence.  

“Yup, figured walking in your home wasn’t gonna happen,” you mutter to yourself with a small smile. He hates it. Don’t act like you know him, because at some point you did, but you don’t deserve to have him etched in your memory. 

“Tell me what you want so we could get this over with.” 

“Right. Yes sir. Yes love,” you chuckle, not even minding that he remains unamused. “My manager has already arranged a live interview this afternoon.” 

“You should’ve started with that. So, you’re here to ask me what you should say?” He asks, unintentionally looking down on your hands you’ve rubbed together for friction. It was indeed cold, you brought this upon yourself though. 

“No, I’m here to make a deal with you. My statement for my interview later on depends on your response.” 

He rolls his eyes, leaning his shoulder on the doorframe because talking to you definitely tired him out; sucked his soul out of him. “And by this lovely deal, what exactly are you proposing? Not that you have a leverage over me now or anything.” 

You smile, stepping closer to him but he couldn’t bring himself to pull away. Instead, his feet remained planted to the ground, self-aware of how much his heart was racing right now and the only thing—albeit pathetic—he could do was glare at you. 

“Befriend me for a month, that’s it.” That didn’t sound half as bad compared to how devilish you’ve been these past few days. “Go on,” he mutters, stepping back and away from you. “You can’t block my number and you have to reply to my texts.” 

“Aren’t you ashamed of how pathetic and selfish you are right now?” He lowly says. You look up at him in surprise, there was faint hurt and vulnerability in his voice that wasn’t there before and you can’t help but feel guilty for it. 

“I like you, I don’t know why, I just do.” Pain visits him like an old friend. Casual, embracing, and mind-numbingly heartbreaking. You look up at his eyes and could tell right away the discomfort in them, but it wasn’t just discomfort, there was agony too—perhaps. You could never be too sure, you think, looking down on both your shoes. 

“I don’t know why you’re so hellbent on avoiding me, it felt like you hated me the first day we met, and I didn’t like the way you hated me for no apparent reason, much so because I happen to like you.” You’re rarely ever serious or this openly truthful with anyone other than your friends, it was only normal that it embarrassed you. But this didn’t feel exactly foreign either. It felt like he understood you somehow—your words and the thoughts you haven’t exactly expressed. 

“I hated you the first time we met?” He repeats and you look at him, surprised at the surreal softness in his voice. “When… was the first time we met, y/n?” 

That’s the first time he’s said your name. It made your cheeks flush warm and your eyes widen a fraction. This moment was temporary and fleeting, it was easy to see, because he certainly doesn’t call your name like that so naturally and so right—he certainly doesn’t look at you with the absence of resentment as he normally would. 

“Three days ago, outside your gym,” you respond unsurely. As if you’ve reminded him of something utterly annoying, he had closed off himself once more, his eyes unreadable and brooding as they stared back at you. 

“And this is why I hate you,” he chuckles humorlessly. You’re still pretending you didn’t know him, as if those years together were something you could so easily erase. “I don’t care what you say in that damned interview. Saying yes to that excessively self-centered deal of yours would lose me my self-respect, you know that.” 

He finally steps out the door, closing it behind him as he walks past you and all the way to his car. He hopes this would be the last time he sees you; he desperately hopes so. The last thing he needs is a repeat of the emotional wreck he’s been when he was at the lowest point of his life after you so selfishly left him behind.  

“Sakusa Kiyoomi!” You call off, and he stops in his tracks, clenching his teeth. You’re clearly overestimating his patience. “I don’t know how befriending me would lose you your self-respect. Hell, I am so irritated at you right now, hard-to-understand-breathtaking-stupid volleyball player!” You grit your teeth, he scoffs, finding your impudence unbelievably out of this world. 

He wanted to bring up your past, to shove it right in your face that you had no right to be angry with his hostility considering everything you’ve done. But he can’t, it’s foolish to bring up history you insist you’ve forgotten. “You better watch my interview later on.” 

“Oh?” He mockingly says, turning to look at you, “just what are you going to say?” He admits it is out of character for him to banter off with you like this, if you were someone else, he’s long gone inside his car. Maybe this was his way of saying goodbye to you for good, allowing himself to talk to you like this before moving forward with his life that’s anti-you. 

“I’m telling them we’re the bestest of friends but we might marry!” You stick your tongue out at him before running off, you don’t even notice him freeze up. His heart fell to his stomach, he unconsciously held in a breath. No, he didn’t just hold in a breath, it’s getting harder and harder for him to breathe. 

There it is again, his old, life-long friend. Crippling pain, anxiety, and resentment bundling up and turning into one heavy-ass anchor, pulling him deeper down than he’s been before. The stability he’s built and worked on by religiously avoiding you for years all went down the drain with those silly words of yours. 

Just what kind of ridicule or twisted teasing are you pulling off? 

“Wow, I’m surprised you guys put up with Oomi.” He hears your voice, lips tugging upward a little before he realizes what you had just said. Finally entering the gym, he sees you sitting in a circle along with his teammates. 

He narrows his eyes at the back of your head. You should be in your winter uniform by now, he bets you forgot. One thing he hated about being a year older than you is that he goes to a different school now that he’s in highschool while you’re still on your last year of middle school, you just can’t seem to take care of yourself enough. 

“Yup, Oomi’s really great, he’s the best, I guess that’s why you accept how cold he is sometimes huh,” you snicker, your enjoyment short-lived when you’re engulfed in a jacket and Sakusa’s scent. “Stop giving me backhanded compliments just because you think I’m not around,” he bitterly tells you though there’s a ghost of a smile on his lips. 

“Oomi!” You rise up to your feet immediately and flung yourself at him. He catches you with no hesitation of course, guessing that you’re here again because you missed him. The rest of his teammates except Komori are surprised. 

“Sakusa-kun, didn’t know you had a middle school girlfriend.” 

“Ew, she’s not my girlfriend.” He bites back a smile though when you punch his shoulder. “What’s with the ew? Not that I like Oomi that much—he’s an ass,” you send him a pointed look, “but we’re the bestest of friends,” you grin. 

“And we might marry someday, right Oomi?” 

His face falls. “Can you not make me cringe like for a week or two, thanks.” 

You scowl, “oh, so what, you don’t wanna marry me?” At this point, he blushes, you’re always so blunt and shameless, you could at least tweak it down a bit. He only scoffs, walking past you to pick up a ball from the ground, “didn’t say anything like that.” 

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[faby-montana]

me & u

“i’ve been waiting. think i’m gonna make that move, now.”

paring: haechan x reader

summary: a collection of memories that happened between us.

warnings: 18+ for smut— (they only go to 3rd base tbh) handjobs, cumming, awkward kids (that are of legal age!)

a/n: this was supposed to be part of a series, not sure yet if I’ll make it one. let me know how you guys enjoy! (i also don’t really write smut so uh let’s see how this goes—)

recommended song: me & u

You bit your lip, your phone clasped in your hand beside you. You haven’t spoken to Donghyuck in almost a week. It was only about noon, maybe it’s too early to text him. Rolling to your side, you turn on your phone and go on snapchat, seeing if he had even been active recently. Not much to your surprise he was.

Your computer sat at the foot of your bed, a classroom tab open as you sat on your phone to pass the time. Your mother walks in, telling you that your principal was on the phone.

Shifting to sit up, you could only wonder what he wanted. After all, you haven’t been in school since the 15th and your athletic season is long over.

“Happy birthday!”

Wow. Even he remembered. You have yet to receive a happy birthday from him just yet. Once another hour passed, you wondered if now was the perfect time to send a text.

hey, are we still on for today?

Shutting off your phone instantly, you place it down as you pick up your laptop. You were scared to know the response, if he would even respond. You weren’t in the mood to get rejected on your birthday. You glance over your assignments, slowly starting to work on one to distract your hyperactive mind. Has he seen it yet? Did he ignore it? Maybe he’s busy.

The buzz of your phone makes your heart smile, focusing on your assignment you try to finish the sentence before going to see his response.

where are we going again

this ice cream place, it’s only like 10 minutes away i can meet you at your house if it’s easier

Smiling extra hard you hop out of your bed and walk over to your closet, trying to figure out the perfect outfit to wear. The two of you had confirmed plans to go after his mom goes to work around six, so you two had settled for seven. You showered, spent hours on your hair, deciding against makeup so your mom wouldn’t be too suspicious.

After eating dinner with her, you told her you’d be visiting two of your friends. You left out the part of going to see him too, but he lived down the street so if she tracked you she wouldn’t know the difference.

You hopped in your car, nervous about what might happen. You knew something might happen tonight, how far would the two of you go? You hadn’t necessarily shaved off your entire bush, god you flushed hard wondering if he’d mind. Your thoughts had you so distracted, you hadn’t even noticed you’ve been sitting outside his house for three minutes. Taking a deep breath you grabbed your purse, spraying yourself in the perfume he had bought you months ago and took a step out the car. You locked the door and took notice to the sun starting the set. You knocked on the front door, stunned to see his mom standing in front of you. She was very fond of you, so she greeted you kindly as she always did and told you she was on her way out. She wishes you a happy birthday and apologized for not getting you anything.

He jogs down the steps in a sweatshirt and his grey joggers, slipping on his black sneakers. You stood quietly by the door as he asked his mom for the keys, her telling him to be careful as he only nods in compliance. You knew he wasn’t really listening, probably already hearing that from her more than once. She says goodbye to the two of you as you walk out the door, him unlocking the door to take a seat.

You’ve never actually been inside of it before, it was a bit surreal considering you’ve stood outside of it for a very long time. You run your hand over the passenger seat that you sit on, putting on your seatbelt and laying back. It smelled good, just like him.

He tells you his mom had actually been off that day, him not knowing about it to which you only shrug. You reach for his phone, asking him if you could play a song. He unlocks his phone for you, and you clown him for using Spotify. It’s a routine almost, the two of have to tease each other.

Me & U by Cassie begins to play, him asking what was playing as you loudly sing along. The rest of the songs are ones you both enjoyed, but the first one was just to indulge you.

Once you get there, you both go inside to order and the biggest smile graces your face. You’ve been meaning to come here since October when it opened, and you finally got the chance. You already knew what you were ordering, and funny enough he orders the same. The two of you go back inside the car once the order is prepared, both of you sitting while soft music is playing. There’s not much talking, just the two of you being in each other’s presence as you watch the end of the sunset. He’s playing a game on his phone, and from time to time you glance over to annoy him.

“Hey so,” placing down the spoon in the jar, you look at him. It was now or never you figured, if you didn’t make this move now it just might never happen. “You actually like me?”

His head immediately looks up at you, raising an eyebrow. “what kind of question is that?”

You giggle, “a valid one.” You tear your gaze away, “I’m really sorry about not sending you anything..” You slightly shift towards him, “but I thought yours were cute.”

“uh huh.” He was embarrassed, you could tell that much. He also didn’t take you seriously, so you placed a hand on his knee to grab his attention. His gaze focused on it for a split second before looking at you once you started talking.

“I’ll let you take pictures of me if you want.”

He scoffs, “your lying.” Why is he acting so awkward? Was he just as scared as you were?

You leaned in a bit closer, telling him you were wearing that black bralette he liked. You could see him swallow, and before he could open his mouth again you opened the car door and went into the back seat. Taking off your top you told him to come join you.

Still flustered, he does as told and gets into the backseat. Sitting beside you, your knees touching he seems a bit clueless. You slid back a bit, “do you really want this?” You were giving him a chance to back out now. If he really wanted this he would have to make the first move.

“Yeah.” He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Part of the insecurity you had of him not wanting to be with you left instantly. “Do you?”

You let out a huff, “I literally have my shirt off.” His eyes cascaded downwards briefly, not wanting to stare too hard. You sat back, wanting for him to make the first move, it was silent between the two of you before he slid closer, gaining the courage to finally kiss you.

It was short, as if he was testing the waters with you. His lips were soft and sweet, damn near addictive. You were glad he was at least a good kisser, knowing his experiences probably haven’t gotten him farther than that.

Climbing onto his lap you wanted nothing more than to continue, you even wrapped your arms around the back of his neck to bring him closer. Noticing his hands hadn’t really moved, you reached down and placed one on your waist. His other hand followed suit as you put your hands back on his neck.

This. This is everything you dreamed of. You’ve never felt closer to him, happier to be with him. You hoped you conveyed that when you grinded down against his lap.

You heard him moan lowly, which only made you smile. Gliding your hand down his front, you felt him shiver under your touch and shift a bit under you. Did he expect for you to grind down again?

Giving into him immediately, he whined against your mouth. Did he have any idea of what he was doing to you?

His hands gripped your waist a little tighter, pulling his lips from yours. “S-stop.” You immediately halted your actions, leaning away from him as you watched him catch his breath.

Was he about to bust in his joggers? You couldn’t help but feel a little proud as you saw just how hard he was.

You were going to get up to sit back next to him, in case you were heavy on his legs but his arms wrapped around you. He stared into your eyes a bit, causing you to mutter a small “what..” to cover up how nervous you felt. He kissed down your neck, making you blush darkly as a moan escaped your lips. Your straps, which had been previously falling, had been tugged on. You pull them down, his warm hand cupping your breast. It was different to feel someone else’s hand groupe you, you glanced down to see how it filled his huge hand. He massaged it slowly between his fingers, you leaning back to give him more access. Another moan left you as you felt his warm mouth on your left. You couldn’t help but rub against him again, wondering what he was thinking of.

Pushing him back a bit you run your hand down his front, a soft groan leaving him. You untie the top of his joggers, sticking your hand down his pants as he gasped. He shifts a bit again, tugging down part of his pants to make it easier. You go back to kissing him, wanting to feel him moan against your mouth as you brought him closer to his edge.

“Baby..” He moaned, a small whine towards the end of his words. He was close and you had no intent on stopping. You only hummed, kissing down his neck as he got even louder after cummming. You didn’t stop, right away wanting to see his face. Taking your hand away you felt proud, and you knew you’d remember this for a long time. He looked at you while you glanced at your cum covered hand, deciding that you wanted to try it. You sucked on your fingers and glanced up to still see him staring. You blushed, turning away as he only chuckled. He asked you how it tasted, to which you could only shrug.

You got off his lap so you could turn, sticking your ass in the air as you reached for the napkins. You wiped off your hand first, grabbing a few more before turning back around. He took them from you cleaning himself off and pulling up his pants as you pulled back on your straps. He grabbed your waist, pulling you towards him as you leaned on his chest. The two of you stayed like that for a while, sitting in each other’s presence. You heard the sound of his heart beat, closing your eyes to the rhythmic sound. “We should get going soon.” As much as you wanted to fall asleep in his arms, you knew you shouldn’t. You couldn’t spend all night out here, and you shouldn’t give yourself the chance to get attached.

He sighs, saying okay as you separate to move into the front seats. He turns the car back on as you grabbed his phone, going back to being dj. You smiled to yourself, singing along as he drove through the night.

When he parks back in front of his house, you lean over and kiss his cheek, thanking him for such a great night. You would leave right after, going back into your own car and about the rest of your day.

You wondered, if you had sent that text- would that have happened?

i’ve always wanted to play this song on what would’ve been our first date. or hang out. or whatever it was gonna be. i had so many hopes for us back then. so many hypotheticals about what we could’ve been.

[creamypudding]

I really was hopeful that this was where things were going when cloud gave zack a ride :( that he’d either take him to his place or that zack would invite him in but I forgot for a second that it was slow burn (I’m loving it tho) I both love and hate how blind cloud can be sometimes to the obvious signs zack is trying to throw his way 😭

Also I want to kick both of these boys asses for being so self depricating and believing that they’re not worthy of being loved

What if... 

--- The rain pelted down. His vision behind his visor swam. Fenrir balked. Cloud jerked and brought his bike back under control. This weather was horrible and downright dangerous to ride in. The barracks was a forty-minute ride away--his place only ten.  “I’m gonna take us back to my place. It’s not safe,” he shouted and hoped Zack would hear and not think he was about to be kidnapped. Cloud steered off into a side street and headed for home with a robust rev of his engine. Zack held on tight. The feel of him was so good. It kept the chill out of Cloud. He loved how tight Zack held on to him--’Focus’ he told himself and made sure to get them back to his place in one piece. He pulled into the underground garage, found his parking spot and came to a standstill.  “Where are we?” Zack said as he jittered behind Cloud. Cloud took off his helmet. “I took us back to mine. It’s not safe to ride right now. The rains too much. I’ll take you back to the barracks when the rain eases off. I hope that’s okay,” he said as he watched and felt Zack dismount from Fenrir. He reached out and steadied Zack, who looked wobbly on his feet. “Careful.” “Th-thanks, C-c-cloud.” “C’mon. You can have a hot shower at my place.” Cloud dismounted and rubbed himself to keep warm. he was used to cold weather but had to admit that the rain and wind had made even him freeze. His fingers felt like ice blocks, despite the gloves. He hated to imagine what it must be like for Zack. He led the way--”Oh... I’m... sorry. There’s no elevator. We’re gonna have to climb the stairs.” Zack chuckled. “M-maybe it’ll w-warm m-m-me u-u-up.” “I hope so.” They ascended. Slowly. Cloud could see what a struggle it was for Zack. He could see how Zack tried to play it cool. He heard the grumble and snap in the way Zack muttered about why there were so many stairs. “Sorry,” is the only thing he could really respond with. But Zack smiled. They got to Cloud’s apartment and Cloud hurried to provide Zack with a towel and... much to his chagrin, Zack’s clothes he still had in his chest of drawers. He hoped Zack wouldn’t say anything and hid them under the towel. But it wasn't to be because once he said, “Here. I’ve got some clothes for you too,” Zack, of course, looked at the clothes. “Hey, these look like mine. My favorite shirt?” “I, uh... Go have a shower.” He pushed Zack toward the bathroom--gently though, as Zack seemed unsteady still. “What about you?” “I’m okay. I’ll just get changed. My clothes are pretty weather-proof.” And so Cloud left Zack to shower while he got changed and tried to warm up with a hot cup of coffee. he also made Zack a hot chocolate. “Here,’ he said once Zack came out with rosy cheeks which were accentuated by the red shirt he wore. Zack looked so good in his clothes. That shirt hugged him nicely. Maybe it sat a little too big, but Cloud stared at Zack’s arms for maybe a little too long as Zack reached for and took the mug. “I can’t believe you had my favorite shirt!” “Your favorite shirt?” Cloud grew mortified. “Yeah. I thought I lost it. How’d you get it?” “I um... remember when there was the bad rainstorm and I got soaked?” Zack looked thoughtful. he drank the steaming hot drink. “Oh yeah.” He chuckled. “Kinds fitting to get it back now that I got all wet.” Cloud chuckled too at that and felt relieved that all his worst thoughts about having held on to the clothes for too long didn’t seem to eventuate. “Good thing I held onto them.” “Mm.” Zack looked around as they stood and drank. “Nice apartment.” “Thanks.” He looked around as well and then back at Zack--”Oh... my number’s washed off.” “Hmm?” Zack looked at Cloud and then at his hand as he held his mug. “Oh yeah. It must have happened in the rain. Lucky you brought me to your place or I’ve gotten back to mine and I wouldn’t’ve been able to call you.” A soft smile played on Zack’s lips. Cloud’s heart thundered. It was surreal to have Zack in his apartment. “Let’s sit down. We can watch something while we wait for the storm to pass.” And so they did. They sat next to each other. Zack scooched closer. “Thanks for bringing me here. I kind of didn’t want the night to end.” Cloud gulped. “I’m, uh... glad I could make you warm.” “You make me so warm, Cloud.” Zack slipped his free hand onto Cloud’s knee. Cloud gulped harder. His body felt electric. Zack’s touch seared into his slacks. “You... me too.” Was Zack somehow moving closer? His nose almost touched Cloud’s. Cloud leaned back a little. But not much. Zack gave him a fleeting smile and pulled back. Cloud didn’t like that. he leaned in and followed. “Zack,” he said and laid his hand on Zack’s that still sat on his knee. “Mm?” was all that Zack said as his gaze lingered on Cloud’s lips. Cloud gulped. The damn lump wouldn’t leave his throat. Zack was so close. So hot. Cloud licked his lips. His heart thundered. Zack also licked his lips. “Cloud,” Zack husked. The sound went straight to Cloud’s groin. He leaned in a fraction closer. Their noses brushed together. To hell with being cautious. To hell with being scared of getting hurt. Cloud wanted Zack so much. The heavily lidded blue eyes that looked back at him with longing were enough. Cloud wanted to taste--he pushed and pressed his lips to Zack’s. There was no negative recourse. Zack breathed in deep, hummed, and leaned into Cloud and into the kiss. He... kissed back. Butterflies erupted inside of Cloud. His heart could have stopped. Zack swiped his tongue against Cloud’s mouth. Cloud opened and took in Zack’s sweet, chocolate taste for a moment before they pulled apart. “I love you,” Zack quietly murmured.  A high-pitched ring rose in Cloud’s ears. He stared, bewildered. Had he heard right? “Y-you...” “Love you. I love you.” Zack looked back, his cheeks splashed with crimson. Cloud let out a held-in breath. He smiled through the noise in his head. “I... love you too.” The smile on Zack’s lips unfurled, spread, engulfed. Zack dove in and kissed Cloud--they pulled apart with small shouts as Zack’s drink spilled all over them. They laughed “Don’t suppose you have another set of pants lying around for me, huh?” “No.” Cloud got up to go to the kitchen and help Zack get himself and the lounge cleaned up. “You can always not wear pants while you’re here.” Zack laughed at that. “Maybe.” ---- My fingers slipped and now I have written a thing. You are welcome. Thank you for getting in touch  ❤️😆

[kaisooficrec]

jfdjsf we’re so sorry to everyone who wanted this list last year before starting school 😭😭(and yall almost finished omg) but on the bright side, you’ll have so many nice fics to read now in summer 😎

Best/Childhood Friends to Lovers:

Internet is for Porn - Jongin is convinced that the only booty that can compete with his bestfriend’s legendary arse is the camboy D.O’s. One of my favourite works by indogomini and KaiSoo fics in general. Pure HILARIOUS lightly angsty smut. The real definition of a fun read.

A Different Morning - thisismylastlie’s latest EXO fic. Jongin’s been (whipped) Kyungsoo’s vlogger bestfriend since forever, but one video changes their life once and for all. I really love slice of life? Especially with a big pinch of pining and humor. 

Through The Midnight Streets - Jongin grows up with the Dos after a tragic event and gets to befriend the coldest of them all, Kyungsoo. Located in Paris, unrequited!SuKai, ballerino!Jongin, chaebol (straight, lol)!Kyungsoo, fear of homophobia, sloW BURN and so much pure art.    Threeshots on LJ are the real lucky charm.  

Bite Me - Hybrid!AU. In a world where hyprids are privileged, human!Kyungsoo suffers from being in love with his dog hybrid bestfriend. It gets even worse when he discovers that Jongin had a mate all this time.

Sticky Fingers - Smut, Humor. Kaleidohscope’s pornstar!Jongin asking his bestfriend to help him wax. Their dynamics here : 10/10 dammit. 

when it rains - Oneshot, fluff, Mute!Kyungsoo. Jongin refuses to unfriend his precious hyung, and refuses the title of bestfriend. 

Spider Webs - Oneshot, nonau. Kind of dark? EXO Kai and Jongin are two opposites, with the latter being a unsufferable brat who only accepts the company of Kyungsoo, his poor prey. Or so they thought.

Of late night kisses - Nonau, based on KaiSoo’s date on Valentine’s (hehe). Kyungsoo and Jongin rebelliously take a break on Valentine’s Day from rehearsal to go to the movies as friends, but come back as a little more.

Down the Chimney, Into my Heart - Oneshot, Fluff, Christmas!AU. For Kyungsoo, Christmas holds painful memories. Smitten Jongin decides to do something (stupidly cute) about it.

Mine Eyes are Made the Fools - PWP but with somewhat angsty emotional charge. Or roommates hella straightforward Jongin and scared-of-heartbreak Kyungsoo going at it.

Heart on Your Sleeve - Jongin decides to confess to his two years crush/friend on Valentine’s Day while they’re on a trip to Hong Kong. Annoying ChanBaek, newly tattooed!Kyungsoo and nerves make his mission way harder than it should be. Kyungsoo’s vibe here *wolf whistles* .

(First time?) Meeting - (kind of)PWP. Kyungsoo and Jongin are bestfriends who secretely text two hot boys. Everything changes when they decide to meet them.

Hold Down my Shaking Body - Tickling!kink. A really hot (focus on hot) oneshot/PWP. I love fics that include that spark when one of them realizes they like the other and damn, freaky times.

I Love You, Just Like This - Besties as kids, Soo falls for Jongin as they get older but Jongin’s hella popular & Soo’s insecure about his own looks.

Kyungsoo ... Give me your hand! by Saritababo - a nice 36k angsty friends to lovers where jongin has a crush on Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo is teasing him. 

City Lights by Life_not_knife - a confession fic where best friends kaisoo get together and jongin cant believe it, it also has smut.

愛戀 : deeply attached - 10k of childhood friends to lovers kaisoo, quite lovely fic. basically they are head over heels for each other.

feels good to be yours - Baker!Kyungsoo and dance instructor!Jongin are best friends, but who kiss a lot. None of their dates work and they take a while to figure out why. 

(Best)Friends, but one dates and the other tolerates/realizes their feelings :

If My Yesterday is a Disgrace - Fourshot, Angst, kind of Surrealism, Slice of Life. a gem by wandering-heart from our kfr project *u* they’re best friends, but jongin is hurt because he can never be more than friend and kyungsoo was supposed to marry his girlfriend. NOW allow me to not give any details about the plot because everything is so well thought and emotional and I’d rather leave you the opportunity to discover (and love) this masterpiece by yourself. A new personal favourite.

You are my heart - Chaptered, Angst, OT9 and broken!KaiBaek. At the age of fifteen, Kyungsoo and Jongin promised to marry each other if they’re alone by their thitieth birthday. At the age of twenty nine and thirty, Jongin goes through so much pain and heartbreak while Kyungsoo still pines silently. This teeters on tragic but have faith in the KaiSoo.

Always Have, Always Will - Twoshot. When Jongin looses to Junmyeon the opportunity to take sous-chef!Kyungsoo on a friendly date, he realizes that he might have wanted more all that time.

The Friend Zone - Oneshot, comedy, side!HunHan. Kyungsoo has been sent to the Friend Zone times and times again. He is unaware that his only bestfriend is exactly in the same position as him.

In plain sight - Oneshot, broken!ChenSoo. Jongin’s tired of seeing his bestfriend sad and heartbroken. All he wants from him is to move on. With him. 

What If - Oneshot, based on the song “What If”. On the day he plans on confessing, Kyungsoo learns that Jongin is dating Soojung. Uhm, it does have a happy ending but not the one you’re expecting. :,(

Brighter - Angst, nonau. Kyungsoo learns about JenKai and Jongin reminds him that he always comes first.

complications; and how they arise - Twoshot, light angst, temporary ChanSoo. Basically Jongin and Kyungsoo postponing their confessions and drifting apart because of insecurities. Lovely.

Good Intentions - Chaptered, slightly OT12. Kyungsoo is tired of his bestfriend constantly bringing new people to their house and comes up with an idea to quench Jongin’s (their) thirst. Kyungsoo’s a freaking music teacher and prepares a Christmas recital with lil kids and I love it.

nothing scares you about me and you - well well if this isn’t another gem from verseau >:) roommates kaisoo are just friends, best friends, but omega jongin is so oblivious and keeps hooking up with other alphas even though he loves kyungsoo's scent and kyungsoo also has his fair share of omegas which riles jongin to no end, yet he won't admit they're made for each other.

look - "he never thought he'd see that shine again but towards another person." the first ship is kaisoo, then jenkai happens, and then kaisoo again. basically kyungsoo is jealous of jongin being in a relationship.

Ain’t nice - Jongin definitely has a type. This has a nice plot twist, it’s otherwise angsty, and I wouldn’t say that it matches 100% the request but I said I should add it. It’s quite interesting. 

The Woes Of The Heart - wedding planner au. kyungsoo loves jongin who is going to marry a girl and kyungsoo is the one that plans their wedding and he pours his feelings in his diary. inarichi snapped with this truly

A Heart at Peace - in this house we worship strange seas! jongin is junmyeon’s younger brother and has always been close to kyungsoo and kyungsoo has always a special place in his heart. but now, they’re adults, jongin feels something that kyungsoo can’t reciprocate because he dates women

Older (best)friends-to-lovers : March14, April14, 2016, 2017

Happy reading! - KFR Admins

[theropoda]

3, 4, 6-8, 11, 13-17, 19-22, 26-30 uwu

WOO LAD THAT’S A LOT THANK U!!! this got long and i wrote an essay or two LOL so im putting it under a readmore!

3: Best game you’ve ever played? WEEEELLLL.......let me preface this with two things: one, i am a FAKE GAMER as in my laptop is not at all made for gaming, it’s piss poor, so a big chunk of games i’m interested in is because i watched a playthrough of them lol. i have a 3ds but only 3 games on it (animal crossing new leaf, tomodachi life, nintedogs & cats). second, i’m very bad at choosing favorites of things.....BUUUUT .....i choooooose, in no particular order, OFF, pigeonetics, elder scrolls oblivion, pathologic classic HD!! i’m more than likely forgetting a few though, so sorry about that

4: Worst game you’ve ever played? as i said above, cannot choose favorites, neither can i choose whatever the opposite of favorites is but...uhh, does lif even count as a game? like lif, the stupid little furry flash game i remember playing on some shady website. it was surprisingly very active with a BUNCH of people there but i kept dying like every 5 seconds....AWFUL

6: A game that’s changed you the most? WELL define Changed.....ummm aha first thing that comes to mind is OFF. it’s one of those things where you never knew you wanted something so fucking bad until you saw it--and it’s like that for me. i NEVER knew i loved that odd, surreal, colorful, “looks playful and simple in some parts but incredibly violent and unnerving in other parts” aesthetic til i played it. like aesthetically i love that game to BITS and something about it just stuck with me til the end of time.

later in life (meaning, past year or so) it changed me because it taught me a lesson about storytelling and creative endeavors. a very useful lesson. which is: things don’t really need to have a meaning. stories, art, music, writing, whatnot, while it CAN be deep and meaningful, while you CAN use it as a way to communicate with the world about all kinds of heartfelt things, it can also be...nothing, really.

once i, as usual, got ridiculously overwhelmingly sad about small things. specifically seeing other people around me come up with all kinds of deep and meaningful characters and stories, sometimes putting them into webcomics or writings of theirs, and they were all so well-thought out and detailed and what i envied most was people put a lot of themselves and their experiences into them, venting and coping through them, whilst also making these larger-than-life grandiose complex stories and worlds and so on and so forth.

it made me look at my own ideas and get mad/frustrated at how shallow they were. but then i remembered OFF and i felt better because Fun Fact, mortis ghost has a now-abandoned dA account and if you go through the comment section on his profile, he answers a lot of fan questions and he mentions several times that the game didn’t really have a “meaning”, it didn’t really have a “deeper story” or moral or anything, really. i’m paraphrasing this but i vividly remember him saying “i wanted to make a game, so i did”.

that made me feel a lot better because it made me realise that sometimes art--especially stories, in my case-- doesn’t NEED to be DEEP or have MEANING...sometimes it can just BE!!!! sometimes it really can just be all about AESTHETICS like who GIVES a shit if there’s a hidden meaning if you take the first letter of all of your characters’ names and put them backwards, sometimes all that matters is if they just VIBE with you y’know....

yume nikki is similar in this regard bc that game doesn’t have any story other than “collect egg” and yet it’s so impactful. that game doesn’t have a story or meaning it just IS........ :) GOD THATS SO LONG IM SORRY ABOUT THAT but yeah. funny violent ghostbusting baseball man is a game that changed me :)

7: A game you’ll never forget? OFF AGAIN LOL,,, it’s just so memorable because of how unique it is. visuals, soundtrack, story, everything is so memorable. unforgettable. oh god you can tell how much i love this damn game can’t you

8: Best soundtrack? yakuza 0, OFF, there is a picture (another game by mortis ghost, again composed by alias conrad coldwood who also composed OFF), pigeonetics (the entire soundtrack of which is here), jojo’s bizarre adventure all star battle and eyes of heaven, silent hill 2 & 3, undertale....probably forgetting more but all of these...earcandy

11: Hardest game you’ve played? i am a shitty gamer so this is Most games i’ve played lol!! but uhh..well you see. hardest game i remember playing as of recent is pathologic classic hd in which it’s...not only hard to understand what any character is saying at any given time lol but also, i don’t think it’s HARD it’s just...you need to focus. you REALLY need to fucking focus and pay attention in this game. so i wouldn’t say its HARD, but i’m only putting this here bc it’s in recent memory.

i say recent memory because the true answer is susceptible to “yeah, but now you’re older, it must not be so hard.” as in if i played it now i think i’d have a way easier time. but when i was around....10-12 years old i had several ps3 video game adaptations of animated movies and i had SUCH a fucking hard time with them. g-force, bolt and up in particular were fucking HARD. like genuinely, the hardest time i had EVER had in my live playing video games is tied to these three fucking games. g-force and bolt ESPECIALLY. one particular level in bolt took both me AND my sister around a year to fucking finish.

again, i was baby, so i bet i’d have a much easier time with them now that i’m 17. but for now, in my experience, bolt and g-force for the ps3 were harder than pathologic classic. i think icepick lodge should take a few notes for them for pathologic 2.

13: A game you were the most excited for when it wasn’t released yet? STREETS OF KAMUROCHO...i spent the entire day of its release anticipating its launch lol

14: A game you think would be cool if it had voice acting? hmm..most games i like and know about do have voice acting so i dunno....i guess it would’ve been kind of cool if morrowind had like, full proper voice acting. but i can understand why it only voice acted things like greetings and battle insults because GOD that game is SO...complicated...and as a result, the conversations are so lengthy and text-full. playing morrowind is really like a goddamn book! if it was voice acted i’m sure all that information would have to be shortened bc i know no one is going to fucking voice act two whole paragraphs

15: Which two games do you think would make an awesome crossover? pigeonetics and yakuza in which instead of being about the criminal underworld it’s about shady and unethical pigeon clubs, breeding, racing, etc etc...a lot of illegal shit does happen in the world of pigeons especially when it comes to racing; prized racers have been kidnapped and held for ransom before. and then there’s Avian Cucking: The Sport, where people breed the sexiest pigeons (horseman thief pouters), release them outside to seduce other people’s sexy pigeons, and bring them back and keep ‘em, drama ensues. will kiryu ever escape his past as a professional pigeon-napper, and find solace in his new life as a pigeon hobbyist? find out now by playing YACOOZA......

JOKES ASIDES i don’t know i really don’t....umm, pigeonetics and animal crossing somehow?? :O... like, instead of managing your own town it’s managing your own loft!...orrrr, the jojo games (all star battle & eyes of heaven) with yakuza, because i think they’re somewhat similar because they’re both haha Wacky Silly AND serious over the top fighty-fighting.....or maybe a crossover with OFF and discover my body, which, despite being an incredibly short and obscure indie game i still love to bits for what it’s worth. WAIT ANIMAL CROSSING AND MINECRAFT THAT WOULD FUCK SO HARD OH MY GOD

16: Character you’ve hated most? From what game? i can’t think of any character i like, HATE...with a burning passion.. there are a few i dislike or have a complicated relationship with though.. i’m not interested in the series anymore but ouma from drv3...i’ll admit that he is a bit fun sometimes, especially in the very early beginning he’s a likeable brat but as the game progresses he becomes more irritating than anything and i have an issue with him in regards to writing, despite the fact that i have never been awake in any english class ever lol. it’s too long to put in this already long post but i’ll keep it at that. if you like him, well, good for you for finding joy in something i couldn’t! but he just doesn’t do it for me.

AH I JUST REMEMBERED....MINE......FROM YAKUZA 3....maybe i’d change my mind if i watched a playthrough of y3 again, because i think you always absorb something better on your second watch (tho i honestly Dont have the energy to do that all over again, the yakuza games are too fucking long), but i really hate his writing. spoilers for y3 but, i think mine’s writing, alongside other things in the game, were super messy...and a big part of why i hate him is that not only is he one of those “could’ve had great potential but fell flat” sorta guys but also his love for daigo is seen as some fans as good gay rep and i?????/.............um....WELL let’s just say that, i think people nowadays will see any gay character ever in any circumstance and say it’s good gay rep just based off the fact that A Gay Character exists....he was Not, good gay rep imo....he was not, let alone, Good. .........

17: What game do you never tell people you play? can’t think of any games i wouldn’t tell people i play.. idk exactly what this question’s asking. does it mean what game you don’t tell ppl you play bc you’re embarrassed about it...? i’m not very embarrassed by any of them. the only thing that comes close, i guess, is uhh lioden and wolvden. i’ve only interacted with those communities a LITTLE TINY WEE BIT, yet of what i’ve seen it’s a goddamn dumpster fire and i’d never want to be associated with them lol

19: Which game do you think deserves a revival? i’m well aware it’ll never happen and that it’s more a wet dream than anything but...PT/silent hills..... on a more realistic/”could happen” note, PIGEONETICS!!!! SERIOUSLY, it’s an amazing game about amazing animals and it teaches genetics in a very simplified and efficient way!! genetics is SO hard for me to understand, i fucking hated studying it but this game really helped me understand how it works AND its super engaging and interesting!! HOWEVER, of all the pigeon genes we know of, only a handful were seen in pigeonetics and i’d LOVE a sequel that employs new game mechanics AND new genes!! i wanna learn about bronze and stencil genes! i wanna learn about phenotypes like grizzled and pied!!! genes like sooty and dirty!!! @ UNIVERSITY OF UTAH GENETICS DEPARTMENT PLEASE IM BEGIGNG YOU

20: What was the first video game you ever played? earliest memories of Gaming involves me at my aunt’s house playing two games: super mario brothers and some kind of trapeze game. i don’t remember anything else though

21: How old were you when you first played a video game? i can’t remember but i must’ve been REAL tiny.... 6-9 years, maybe??

22: If you could immerse yourself in any game for one day, which game would it be? What would you do? immerse myself meaning go into their world...? huh....on one hand i’d like to go in the world of yakuza 0 to play in the arcades and do whore related activities but i’d also love to go into the world of animal crossing (and i’m pretty sure i’d be some sort of generic dromaeosaurid in that game!!) and shop, chat with villagers, do chores for them, go fishing, bug hunting, eat delicious fucking food like the apples mangos peaches cherries etc etc.....OH AND FOSSIL HUNTING THAT’S THE BEST PART!! though it would definetly be a little weird, to be a little dinosaur and finding a fossil of a...little dinosaur....i guess the non-sentient species went extinct and the dinosaur i am is some kind of, descendant of a sapient non-avian dinosaur that survived the k-pg extinction event...oh but who cares all i want is a cool little ambulocetus fossil or something. and some cherry pie :)

26: Handheld or console? my old ps3 just went kaput one day years ago so i haven’t used it in years so i can’t compare well... but i’d say handheld, because it lets me like DO stuff more...would love to get a console one day, a ps4 maybe but i’m kinda worried it’ll make me stay in one room all day wasting away my time when there’s other stuff i can do, y’know? but something handheld like my 3ds, on the other hand...i can do stuff with it. i can take it to my room and play it between breaks i take as i clean the room and fold my clothes, i can watch something on the tv and play the game during ad breaks, i can take it outside too if it has charge to last me a while! so....handheld i guess

27: Has there ever been a moment that has made you cry? yakuza 0 and undertale in particular have ALMOST made me fucking bawl with many of its moments....yakuza 0 especially, after that Fucking Ending i had trouble sleeping because oh my fucking god. video game people SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

28: Which character’s clothes do you wish you owned the most?

29:  Which is more important, gameplay or story? HMMM....well, if i were to play a game with a shitty story but really good and fun gameplay i’d probably continue playing it for the gameplay. but if i played a game with shitty gameplay but an interesting story, there is a chance i’d play it more for the sake of the story but also i might just quite and see the rest of the story on youtube or something. i’m more likely to go through a boring story for fun gameplay than go through boring gameplay for an interesting story, so i guess gameplay is more important to me....that is, WHEN i actually own and play a game as opposed to when i just watch someone play a game because i don’t own the game but wanna know abt the story lol

30: A game that hasn’t been localized in your country that you think should be localized? i have no idea how video game localization really works....but i assume localizing a game in india would mean something like, removing content according to cultural norm and also somehow translating it into the 22 official languages..? or just two or three language if it’s tied to a particular state, which seems way more doable. i honestly have no idea? i’ve never interacted w the indian gaming community that much to be honest, all i know of it is of the video games i’ve seen sold in some game stores and a few whispers about like solid snake or whoever from my school’s cafeteria....the most popular games here, to my knowledge, are those very streamable games like fortnite and PUBG and your call of duties and whatnot. those generic shooters. and even then, that honestly isn’t the “indian” gaming community bc this country is so FUCKHUGE, it’s just tamil nadu. one state.

soooo, according to what little i know of gaming interests in where i live, i don’t think any of the games i like should be localized here bc i don’t really think there’s an audience for it as far as i can tell :( maybe animal crossing? it’s a fun little games for all ages and i think it has a chance of becoming popular here, so maybe that is worth a shot! but i can’t think of any other game that i like that really has an audience here (other than Me lol)

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 4x07-- The Gang Discovers Who Killed Jeffrey Epstein

What a weird episode. 

This episode is something else. The writers REALLY overestimated how much the audience (or at least the fandom) liked the pee tape and Melania divorce episodes if they thought this was a good idea.

My recollection of those episodes is that because everything was fake-but-real, the stakes wound up feeling lower and I stopped caring, and when I’m not on board with the plot, the surreal shit and the whimsy feel more annoying than innovative. This episode might fare slightly better in my opinion than the other two because of its central device (more on that later) but it’s (somehow!!!) even more audacious and wild than the episodes that came before. Not my favorite look for the show. 

I DO like the tributes to musicians we’ve lost to COVID-19 that play over the credits.My one quibble is that they could’ve used a little card to inform viewers what’s going on and why. Last week I caught the artist in the captions but this week I missed it (or it wasn’t there), though I figured out pretty quickly it was John Prine.

Starting off an episode with Liz is always a good choice. 

Liz and Marissa are, for reasons we’ll discover later, in New York and investigating Jeffrey Epstein’s “suicide.” 

It drives me INSANE that Marissa consistently has the sound on her phone on. I think we’d know she was taking pictures without it. 

Liz’s old boss, Wilbur Dincon, has tasked Liz to independently investigate what happened. If this case goes well, RBL will get more business from the DOJ.

I’m sorry, did you just say “S-H-U” instead of pronouncing it like “shoe”? I mean, I’m an expert on prisons because I watched Orange is the New Black so I know it should be said like “shoe.” (tbh i have no idea if one is more correct than the other)

This case has lots of details but it’s really only the thematic points that matter, so I likely won’t discuss any plot points… just what they’re going for. 

Good to know Liz was ahead of the curve on knowing Epstein was a dangerous creep. 

Liz is promised she can investigate anyone she wants and think outside the box. Sure. I believe this as much as I believe Diane is in charge of pro-bono stuff because STR Laurie has great intentions.

“Synergy” is such a great bullshit word. Has everyone ever said it for a reason other than the following three: (1) To mock the word synergy (2) as a euphemism for cost-cutting measures that will fuck over employees (3) because they think it sounds professional and want to cover up the fact they don’t know what they’re talking about?

In this case, “synergy” means that RBL needs to cut their payroll by 20%. Fun times.

Diane and Adrian (Liz is downstairs) are not happy about this, even when Mr. Firth reminds them it’s more money for them. They’d rather have less money personally but happier employees since they’re not soulless.

Mr. Firth says they have to do the layoffs. But if it’s any consolation, they get to hand pick who to lay off!

The dogs are still being walked through RBL, in case it wasn’t clear enough that STRL sucks.

The whole firm gets to work on sorting through the Epstein evidence. Liz tries to keep things organized-- murder evidence on one side, suicide evidence on the other.

Associates, however, immediately begin interpreting the word “evidence” loosely. Is there a photo of Epstein with someone they’d like to suspect of murder? Then it’s “evidence of murder”. Ok, Leah. 

As expected, this immediately turns into bickering over politics. Sorry Liz-- it’s going to be tough to keep your staff on target with this one. 

“No! No conspiracy theories. No insane charges. Everything we do, we need evidence, so let’s start here.” Ah, if only everyone could think like Liz.

The room focuses on evidence for about two minutes. Then they find a way to make it about conspiracies again. Go team! 

Also everyone at RBL thinks they have better knowledge than professional medical examiners of the marks left on someone’s neck after they hang themselves. They also all believe that pretending to strangle themselves is the best way to prove their point. It’s a hilarious sight for Diane and Adrian to happen upon.

Adrian and Diane immediately start seeing their employees as numbers and imagining the cost savings of laying them off. Marissa is making $89,000 a year with three years of experience. Jay is making $89,000/year with eight years. Damn, that is so unfair to Jay. (I could see it if Marissa is more vocal about wanting higher pay or if they’re more concerned with losing her… but being vocal about money is probably closely related to Marissa’s privilege and there is zero evidence Marissa is any better, more efficient, or more hardworking than Jay!)  I can’t remember how this plot ended last year, but I thought Jay ended up making more than Marissa after he complained?

Adrian seems to see Jay as the more disposable of the investigators, which is quite sad, especially since from what we see, Marissa and Jay seem to be equally skilled. 

I wish we got to see the salaries, rather than just billable hours, of the other associates. But I’m glad they finally get last names! 

Kevin Walker has been at the firm 7 years and has 2643 billable hours.

Diane imagines the red X over Marissa. I can’t tell if the Xs are to demonstrate who they think they should cut or just to show deliberations. 

Lucca has been at the firm for 4 years and has 2788. Her title is “associate” but shouldn’t it be “Head of Family Law”? 

Leah Davis has been at the firm for 3 years and has 2657 billable hours.

Jancie Muncy has been at the firm 11 years with 2456 hours; Micah Carroll has been there 5 with 2582 hours. John Danzette with 6 years and 2074 hours; Rosalyn Brock with 4 years and 1991 hours (we learn later she was on medical leave for part of the year). Josh Withers with 11 years and 2162. Linda Keller with 2 years and 2389; Mike Roberts with 3 years and 2147. So what I’m getting is that Lucca has the most billable hours of everyone? 

I wish it told us their salaries. How much do the billable hours matter if we don’t know how much $ each hour is worth?

I really like this device. It’s a good way of showing how tough this decision is and how dehumanizing the process becomes. 

Adrian jumps into the conversation and tries to convince everyone Epstein’s suicide isn’t a conspiracy-- it’s just incompetence. Apparently he has a sink that breaks every week and no plumber can fix it because they are all incompetent. I understand this analogy-- no one does their job perfectly 100% of the time-- but I am really concerned about Adrian’s sink. This sounds like a bigger issue than incompetence.

“People do just enough work to get by,” is a very true statement though. I have often thought that it’s kind of incredible the world is as functional as it is. 

If you have 4 or 5 conveniently incompetent breakdowns at once, though, I’m not sure I believe it’s purely incompetence. Feels a bit convenient. 

Diane jumps in and makes a case for why the conspiracy is also likely. This strikes me as counterproductive since what REALLY needs to happen here is for the associates to dig through the evidence. Why not go back to Liz’s original system where they look through the evidence and see where it leads them? 

Lots of news footage and photographs in this one.

Diane’s larger point seems to tie back into Memo 618: “We all have to obey the law. I mean, if we’re told we have to check into with the police every 90 days, we do it. But certain people don’t have to. They’re given special treatment.” Diane claims this is America-- “a special fucking off-ramp for the well-connected.” 

Isn’t it possible both are true? That there’s a lot of incompetence and also systems in place that protect the rich and powerful? Also none of this is evidence!!! 

(I do like this scene for showing Adrian’s POV (cynical about human nature) vs Diane’s (fed up with the government and the treatment of the ultra wealthy). And the show can’t really dig into evidence they don’t actually possess. But evidence-free speeches don’t seem productive!)

Liz is like, okay then… and splits the room into three groups to look at evidence. I am glad Diane and Adrian helped her so much.

Liz is NOT happy about the layoffs when Diane and Adrian loop her in. She’s opposed to cutting anyone. Diane says she could lose Kevin, but Liz sees Kevin as someone newer employees look up to. Adrian suggests Lucy (who?) and Liz says that Lucy actually should get a raise. Diane points out this will look bad to the clients. All good points. This seems like an impossible decision.

Case stuff happens. Lucca knows a “hairdresser to the stars” through Bianca.

And now for some scenes where Diane and Julius try to report Memo 618 to the government and do the right thing! The Kings have said these were intended for episode 8, and while they don’t really feel that out of place since there’s clearly a thematic link between 618 and Epstein’s connections, this bit of info explains two things: (1) Why this ep is 53 minutes long when it feels like it could make its point in less time and (2) why the Julius stuff that happens later in the episode feels a bit anticlimactic because so much else is also happening. My guess is in an episode where it’s more of the focal point it would feel like a much bigger deal.

Do you ever just see a shot of Diane and think, “Damn, Taylor Swift does really look like a young Diane?” Because I do. All the time.

Lucca visits the famous hairdresser and he makes time for her right away. And he gives her a letter from Epstein that he (a) has in his possession and (b) has in an unlocked drawer in his salon. Whatever. 

Lucca convinces him to let her have it, and RBL makes a video to establish chain of custody. I’m shocked we’ve never seen them do this before.

“It is Thursday, May 21st, 2020” Liz says. Nah. You’re in an office. It is not. 

The envelope contains a key, a secret code, and a letter that says “If I’m dead, watch out for BUD”. Welp, there goes any hope of this not turning into RBL chasing conspiracies! 

Rumors about layoffs (40%! Just paralegals! Everyone!) have spread, in case there wasn’t enough chaos. 

The partners are indeed discussing who to fire, and they can’t decide on anyone. So they decide it’s time to get out from under STRL and buy themselves out. It’ll take 20 million, but they can pull that together. 

This would play better if we knew why they decided to sell to STRL in the first place. Who WOULDN’T have seen this coming? 

Liz tells Adrian not to make any promises he can’t keep and he is like, this is like our marriage. Diane is still in the room which is awkward and funny.

Marissa finds “BUD” on a blueprint. A clue! Meanwhile, Lucca and Jay (really, Jay) figure out the code. 

This is the portion of the episode where I can leave the show playing on my phone and go check Twitter instead of writing any commentary. 

Julius gets arrested for speaking out about Memo 618! It feels less impactful than it should when it’s sandwiched between a bunch of scenes following the conspiracy. (Also I am a little surprised they didn’t have Julius and Diane go to the press before the government.)

The conference room squabbles again and Liz asks, again, to tone down the conspiracy theories. They instead begin fighting about even more conspiracy theories.

Unless there’s another conference room scene later, I think this was the moment I understood what the Kings were doing and started to like the episode more. As soon as I realized “BUD” was a Citizen Kane reference, I burst out laughing. This episode plays way better when you know the point they’re trying to make is that this is a lot of fuss that will ultimately be futile (though Marissa and Jay DO come close to finding BUD) than when you’re supposed to be riveted by watching people debate fake evidence. 

Why does Eli Gold have a cheerleader friend? Who knows! Who cares! 

Adrian suggests that he, Diane, and Liz involve their own homes in the scheme to getting 20 million dollars. Liz objects since she’s a single mom-- very fair. Adrian argues that they’ve done well in the past so they’ll get it back. Liz and Diane attack that idea before I can-- if that were really true, they never would have sold to STRL. 

Liz mentions losing ChumHum and the fallout from her dad’s scandal and then says “let us not forget why we joined STRL in the first place.” I feel like that line would work better if the “let us not forget…” came before the “we lost ChumHum”. Because we don’t actually KNOW why they joined STRL. And, as I said in a previous recap, I can roll with it for the sake of plot, but I can’t take lines like “let us not forget why we joined STRL” seriously when there was LITERALLY NO ON SCREEN DELIBERATION about it. 

Adrian says STRL doesn’t value them, their employees, their history, or their culture. To which I say, DUH. Why would you think they did?  

The only important thing about this cheerleader is that she’s played by the amazing Donna Lynne Champlin. Kind of sad she’s in this silly, non-recurring role. She’s so good. (Also she was totally on TGW playing a different role, shhhh). (Go watch Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, everyone!)

CONSPIRACY THEORIES! It’s another conference room scene. Maybe this is where I realized it was a Citizen Kane reference? But I think it was the earlier one.

Hey, it’s another Julius scene. Watching these and knowing they were meant for a different episode, I can’t help but notice that they do feel like pieces of the A plot of a different episode. The whole system is rigged, Julius and Diane realize.

Adrian, Liz, and Diane tell Mr. Firth they want out. Mr. Firth tells them they need to cobble together an impossible 80 million, not 20 million, because not all of the partners have been bringing in more revenue more than they used to. You see, Diane hasn’t been bringing in any money because she’s been in charge of the pro bono department. Ah.There’s the catch. 

I’m shocked they went up to Mr. Firth without reading every inch of that contract. Aren’t you guys partners at a law firm? I’m shocked Diane went ahead with taking charge of pro bono without looking for a catch. This sucks for the character and all, but how are these name partners at a liberal firm that’s seen more than its fair share of drama this naive about big corporations!? This plot twist is devastating… until I start to think about all the things they had to believe to get to this point. 

Still, it’s satisfying to hear Diane hiss “you fucker!” at Mr. Firth. 

Mr. Firth turns into a villain quite nicely. I wonder if we’ll see more of him next year. My guess is the remaining three episodes were going to tie together the corporate overlords plot and Memo 618 and wrap everything up more or less with a bow so they could do a new concept next year. I feel like they’ll either move on completely and tell us what happened, or do an episode like 2x02 (the one that wraps up all the Maia/Rindell Fund stuff in one go so it doesn’t hang over s2).

Dincon drops by unexpectedly and isn’t impressed with what Liz and the team have done, since all they’ve done is collect conspiracy theories (and possibly travel all over the country? Jay and Marissa go to the Virgin Islands; it is unclear if the architect and key maker and lawyer and everyone else were in Chicago…

In Dincon’s defense these conspiracy theories sound like complete nonsense. 

Dincon shuts the RBL team down, but Marissa and Jay are still off adventuring.

Diane asks Dincon what Memo 618 is because Epstein’s life was built on it. “Then you have your answer,” Dincon replies. This scene is another tell that those Julius scenes weren’t meant for 4x07. 

Aaaaand now we get the direct parallels to Citizen Kane, with some shot-for-shot remakes and even a sled (ha!).

There’s a secret door! Marissa and Jay are excited to investigate! Marissa references Parasite, which I haven’t seen yet because I’m awful at watching movies.

Marissa and Jay find nothing and leave. “I think we lost track of the real story: the underage girls,” Marissa realizes. Yup. That is the takeaway. Looking at all these conspiracies is fun but useless, and the most important truth has already been uncovered. 

After Marissa and Jay leave, we get to see what was in the secret room… BUD is Epstein’s penis. And… that’s a wrap on season 4? What a fucking weird way to end a season. 

[incorrectly-quoted-queers]

Drunk Punch Love: Chapter 10

Pairing: FemShep and Garrus Vakarian (Shakarian)

Rating: PG-13 (with some tossed F-bombs)

Summary: Their awkward, badass journey through saving the galaxy and accidentally falling in love

Chapter 10: Goodbye

It all started with Joker making a toast. "You may have a serious justice boner going on, and sometimes I think you need to get that stick outta your ass, but I'm still gonna miss you, Garrus. The Normandy won't be the same without the dynamic duo annoying us all to hell."

Garrus laughed, but seemed perplexed. "Dynamic duo?"

"Yeah, you and Shep, shooting shit and making us watch, or dragging us across the galaxy on crusades, or ditching us all to go be broody leader types or whatever. She's going to be irritating without you around to distract her."

Anya wasn't sure she could take anymore of Joker's ramblings, especially when every two sentences he kept on throwing her winks. Joker on a buzz was not nearly as funny or clever as he thought he was. Standing up, she stopped the circus act. "Okay, let's take the glass away from our pilot and sit him the hell down."

Kaidan took said glass and stood next to Joker. "Aye, aye, ma'am."

With a glare, Anya sat back down and crossed her arms. "Oh god dammit, don't ma'am me."

Speaking up like the unhelpful asshole he was, Garrus just smirked at her. "I don't know, Shepard, you could pass for a ma'am."

"That's it, everyone's kicked off the ship."

Instead of feeling threatened, the three men around her just started laughing. Okay, Anya had definitely gotten too lax the past few weeks. Her subordinates didn't even take her seriously.

Before she could get snarkier, Kaidan gave her a friendly smile. "I'll get the pilot and I some water, and you two can enjoy some more time together. We don't need to have him flying drunk if the Geth show up, do we?"

As they walked out of the mess, Joker said, "I could if I had to."

Anya watched them go and couldn't kick the grin on her face. And she also watched them go because she knew if she looked back to Garrus, the pit in her stomach would form and she'd have to deal with those feelings again.

For days, ever since Liara left, she'd been sitting with a wad of uncertainty and guilt in her gut. Because the compassionate, almost infuriatingly psychic asari said as parting advice: "If you really don't want people to go, you have to tell them".

Safe to say, that wasn't very helpful with her current situation.

Sure, she wanted Garrus to stay. That was the only personal, selfish thing she'd wanted in a long time. But how she could stop him? The galaxy was in danger, and he'd... Well, she said it before. Damn turian would make a great Spectre. He wanted to make things better, which was exactly what she was fighting for. How could she stop him just because she wanted to stay that "dynamic duo"?

So, despite Liara's ominous and unhelpful advice, she looked back at Garrus and smiled like a friend. Because a friend was ready to support his aspirations wherever they took him and that's what he deserved.

Running a hand through her hair, she broke it out of the very loose and limp ponytail it was in. Anya just kept her gaze trained on his blue eyes, trying to memorize the pleasant way he was looking at her right now, with all his hopes and dreams ahead of him. She needed to remember that. "So how does it feel, being on your last mission on the Normandy?"

After Anya asked, Garrus started drumming his fingers against the table, this far off look in his eyes. "Surreal. When I first joined up with you, I thought I was crazy for trading C-Sec for an Alliance ship. I wanted to stop Saren, but I still didn't know much about humans. But now that I'm leaving..." He shook his head and downed his drink. "My world won't be the same without you- all of you."

"I know how you feel. I thought the Normandy never could feel like home without Anderson, but we made it our home again. I'm sure you'll fit in great with the Spectre program. Give me some tips they never gave me, will ya? I didn't exactly get the formal training."

He laughed, the sad kind that when it ended, it felt like an end to something greater. "Definitely. I can't wait to be able to teach you a thing or two."

"You already have. Needed some of those sniper lessons you gave me. Saved us from those damned geth turrets on The Citadel."

"You were a fine enough sniper already. Anyway, all the things you can do with a pistol terrify me."

"Yeah, but I was better because of you." Shepard sucked in a breath, knew she was getting a little too close to her own wayward feelings. "We're going to miss you, Garrus."

"Me, too." After a moment, he gave her a serious look and said, "Shepard, I-"

Anya reached across the table and touched his hand, shaking her head. She needed him to be sure and confident, because she wasn't. "Don't doubt yourself. It's about time you got out of my overinflated shadow. You're the best shot I know, the best soldier I know. You deserve more than that."

"I wasn't going to say that." Garrus turned his talons under her hand, held it like it was liable to break. Anya didn't know what that meant, but she didn't want him to let go. "I was going to say that being in your shadow has been an honor. And I loved every minute of it."

Feeling her whole heart collapse, turn into a concave hole in her chest, Anya pulled her hands away from his and held it in her lap. They started to shake; she wished they wouldn't. All that resolve she'd been proud of was crumbling into dust on her fingertips. "Don't say things like that when I have to say goodbye to you."

Garrus walked around the table and sat down in the chair next to her. It was like the air filled with lightning, and from it she could tell the slow, steady pace of his breathing. She'd been keeping up her composure the past 10 days, all she needed was to get through this simple scouting mission, send him off where he belonged, and-

But then he took her hand out from under the table and held it. "Everyone's been leaving on their own missions, and you still have Joker and Kaidan. I'm no different."

When he said that, her head jolted up and she was staring into his eyes. Anya wanted to always see his eyes. He was trying to mend her, she could tell, but she didn't want to be mended. She was a broken human and that was okay; she could live with it.

With each passing second, though, she wasn't sure she anymore if she was a broken human who could live without him. Anya tried to sound as in control as possible, and said, "Don't say that, Garrus. You know you've always been different." His eyes filled with this far off mix of concern and friendship and maybe even pity, but she didn't want to see it. She couldn't stand it anymore. "I didn't want anyone to go, but of course you're the hardest one to lose. I can't picture my world where you're not always interrupting it and reminding me to be human." Anya's mouth just kept going, and she couldn't stop it. She was leaning in close to him and it was like a drug; she was just as intoxicated as that first, fateful night. "Until that bar on Noveria with you, I think I stopped knowing if I was human at all. I can still be Commander Shepard alone, but until you I hadn't been Anya in years. I'm so afraid of losing who I am again. Garrus, I-"

And just as his forehead dipped to press against hers, and she was finally feeling some sort of strength in the out-of-control emotions she'd been spewing, the ship quaked and threw her and Garrus out of their chairs.

And then Joker was yelling over the intercom that they were under attack, the room shook, electronics exploded, and everything was on fire.

Garrus helped pull her up and the moment was gone; they were soldiers again, and they had a ship to save.

By instinct alone, she and Garrus put on their helmets and started ushering people to the escape pods. Shepard was talking to Joker and trying to assess the damage. Apparently it was an unknown vessel, shooting a giant, ship-destroying laser. They'd been hit once, and all they needed was one more hit to have the Normandy collapse in on them. Joker was doing everything he could at the helm to keep them running.

But Shepard was acutely aware this could finally be it; they could all die.

And looking at Garrus, brave and full of promise, she couldn't fucking bear it.

Walking over to him as he got the last nearby crewman onto the ship, a sleepy and frazzled Dr. Chakwas, she grabbed his suit. "Do one more quick look for other survivors, and then you get my people out of here."

"Shepard, I'm not leaving you."

Kaidan suddenly was next to them, holding a wounded helmsman. "We've gotten a lot of people out, but there's one problem: Joker's refusing to leave the ship."

"Idiot." Anya cursed and made up her mind. "Alenko, Vakarian, get these people out. I'll find Joker and send anyone else I might find toward escape pods."

As she tried to pull away, Garrus grabbed her arm. He held on like he was holding her life in her hands, but right now she didn't have time for the sentimentality of that. "And what about you? I won't let you go alone."

Her heart was racing and there was this foreign, deep-seeded, ominous fear taking hold of her. But she grabbed the edge of his helmet, pulled it forward to touch hers, and then shoved his hand off her. No matter how much she wanted to keep that voice by her side, now was not the time to ask him to stay.

To make sure he stayed alive, she had to let him go. "I'll find you. Now, that was an order. Go."

Though Garrus stood there for a moment, watching her run off towards the stairs, she eventually saw him grab two more crew members, toss them into the shuttle and, just as she was losing sight of them, hit eject.

If this really was the end, at least she'd made sure he made it out.

Now, she had a shitty younger cousin of a pilot to save.

When she made it to the command deck, the central hub was completely spaced. The ceiling hull was ripped open and all that was left was the floor walking up to the cockpit. Good thing she already had her helmet on. Making sure her boots were good to \keep her attached to the dck, she started walking across the open space.

In the darkness, she could see loose debris and pieces of her Normandy flying away. Worse, she could even see a few people. Anya kept down the vomit, watching Pressley's body float away.

Old man was a difficult officer, but he was a good one. And despite his prejudices, he was willing to learn to be better.

And now he was gone.

Walking forward to Joker, she had to assume he was there. She couldn't stand the thought of losing her ship, her crew, and him, too. Not after all they'd been through.

Finally, after what felt like eons, she stepped into the air pocket of what was left of the helm. Joker was there, slapping so many buttons and yelling into the comms like a madman. Anya couldn't even get her head straight enough to identify what he was saying.

Instead, she just grabbed a spare helmet and slapped it on his head. He said, "I'm not leaving her!"

Grabbing his shoulder and pulling him from the pilot's seat, she didn't care if she broke a bone. She wasn't losing him like this. "We're going. Now."

But just as she turned towards the last escape hatch, to the right of Joker's seat, she felt the ship beneath them crack. No. Dragging him along, she ran towards the door and opened it, throwing his ass in.

And before he could yell more, or she could get in, the ship broke underneath her. Anya knew her choices here: eject the pod and save Joker, or kill them both trying to get herself in.

So, watching the anguish in her friend's eyes, she slammed her fist on the eject button. And after his pod flew off and away from the ship, the Normandy buckled and shattered, a broken vessel that she used to call home.

Another jolt, and Shepard was thrown from the panel, hurtling through space. She could see them, though, the pods flying out in the other direction. At least a good chunk of her crew should make it, including Joker, Kaidan, Chakwas, and Garrus.

That was what mattered.

Anya could feel tears running down her face, with that final piece of solace. Finally her time came, where she was the one left behind and everyone else survived. She'd made it out alive so many missions, it was about time it happened. And if it meant they all lived, that was okay. It had to be okay. They could save the galaxy without her.

It would've been a slow death, if just then her helmet hadn't knocked into some heavy duty debris. She could suddenly feel the oxygen in her suit rushing out at a breakneck pace. Her hands were grasping, trying to cover the hole, even though it didn't matter. Her chest felt like it was getting vacuum suctioned out and the faster the air went, the faster her thoughts did, too.

At least she saved Joker. At least she told Garrus how she felt. At least she inspired all of them to save the galaxy, to become better heroes than she could ever be. At least...

And then everything faded to black.

///

This is the end of Part 1! (AKA Mass Effect 1). We will take a little detour for a few chapters into INTERMISSION: Archangel, but then we'll be back with part 2 shortly :)

Thanks so much for reading, and double thanks to my lovely patrons:

Danyell Jones

Amy Connolly

If you'd like to support my stories, please go check out my bio (and the links below) for more info. All proceeds will be going towards a gaming desktop so my lovely sass can game on Twitch with fans

Twitter: (at)Steph_Marceau

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Title: What We Lack Part 11 Pairing:  Kacchako, Deku/Melissa, Todomomo Rating: T Word Count: 4,111 Read on Ao3 Summary:  

Quirkless.

They’re the last people anyone expects to have a child without a quirk.

Neither of them can fully wrap their heads around it, but Ochako knows Katsuki is struggling far more than her.

Thank you to @its-love-u-asshole for beta-ing

Full fic under the cut

Shouhei's room was practically empty. His bed stayed in the corner, but all the posters and figures were taken down. The sound of tape echoed as he sealed another box shut, wiping his forehead.

Sayuri leaned against the doorframe, biting her lip.The whole situation in front of her was surreal. It made her chest ache, more than she cared to admit. "You're almost done," she said, holding back the awkward lump forming in her throat.

"Yup!" he said, and turned towards her, immediately frowning. "Don't give me that face."

"What face?!" she said, turning away from him, her cheeks completely flushed.

"You look like you're trying to hold back a giant shit," he snorted, standing up to sit on his bed.

"EW Shouhei!?" she snapped and stormed over to him, punching him in the side of his arm. Still, she took a seat next to him on the bed, twisting her lips.

"You gonna miss me?" he teased, nudging her.

"No! That would be stupid! You're not even that far! Knowing you, you'll come home every weekend," Sayuri teased.

"No way!"

"True," Sayuri teased, tapping her finger against her chin. "You'll be too busy making out with Yuuta!"

"What the hell!?" he said and pushed her, turning away from her, his face all red.

"It's okay if you're in love Shouhei," she teased some more, giggling to herself.

She hated how much she knew she was going to miss him.

"Shut up," he snorted. "Maybe if you're nice, I'll come visit for a weekend."

She folded her arms, her cheeks flushing. "I don't care if you do... but it might be nice to see you from time to time or... whatever..." she muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah. I'll be pretty busy, working at being a hero and shit," he said, glancing to the side. "But you know it's my damn job to make sure you're safe, so... if need something you can always call or text me."

Sayuri glanced to the side at the empty wall. For a long time, Shouhei had a poster on the wall of their parents. It was an action shot of the two of them fighting together, looking as badass as they actually were. He made some jokes about how lame it was when he hit middle school, usually around Arata and Yuuta, though Sayuri knew the twins had posters of their own parents too. She wondered if Shouhei planned on hanging it in his room at his dorm.

For some reason she had a difficult time imagining it.

"Sayuri?" Shouhei snapped her from her thoughts and she turned to look at her brother. He could be harsh, like their father, but his sharp brown eyes were often filled with such kindness, just like their mother.

"Huh?" she blinked and nodded slowly. "Oh.. yeah, I know. I can take care of myself Shou."

"Oi..." he muttered. "I know you can. I just want you to know... you can always call me," he said softly. It was rare she heard her brother speak to her with such quiet gentleness.

"I know..." she said and turned to him, wrapping her arms around him tightly. "You better kick their asses at U.A, for both us!"

He grunted, shocked by the physical affection, but was quick to return the hug. "Hell yes, you know I will."

"Well, well, well, what's this I see? Are my two children being affectionate with each other?" Ochako giggled, leaning at the doorway.

Both Sayuri and Shouhei snapped quickly away from each other. "Ew gross!" Sayuri scoffed. "No way."

"Disgusting," Shouhei snorted, sticking his tongue out.

"Right, of course," Ochako said, and knelt down in front of the bed, wrapping her arms around both of her children. "You're too cute. We'll have plenty of family weekends together, okay? You'll be seeing each other plenty!" She nuzzled her pink cheeks against both of them.

"Does this mean you're not going to cry when you leave me at the dorm?" Shouhei asked, choking while she kept her hands wrapped around him.

"No," Ochako sighed. "I almost cried looking at the two of you together in this empty room!" she said, leaning her head to the side.

"Mom..." Shouhei groaned, but both of them hugged her back.

"It's not like... we'll never see him," Sayuri muttered. "U.A. isn't very far from here-"

"It's too far!" Ochako whined and clung to Shouhei. "But... I'm still proud of you... proud of both of you," she said, pulling back. "Even if my Mom instincts aren't ready to let you go," she laughed and kissed Sayuri's forehead. "At least I get my precious girl for a few more years."

"Mom!" Sayuri snorted and gently pushed on her cheek.

"Okay, okay... I'll stop smothering you. We need to get going anyway. Sayuri, can you go get your father? I think he's out back... and Shou, we need to get these last few boxes in the car. " She stepped away and pressed her hands together, activating her quirk on a few of the boxes, carrying them with ease out of Shouhei's room.

"Okay," Sayuri said, standing up from the bed.

As she made her way to the backyard, she fully expected to see her father in the yard, setting off tiny explosions or doing something active. When he stressed, he usually worked off steam in the only way he knew how. After 13 years of living with him, Sayuri was used to her father's emotional habits.

She slid the door open, surprised to find him sitting on the edge, staring quietly out at the grass.

"Dad?" she asked; for a moment, she felt bad breaking the silence. He seemed peaceful and even she was well aware that was rare for Bakugou Katsuki.

"Mmm... what is it?" he grunted, turning to look at her.

"Mom said... we're ready to go... but, uh, are you okay?"

Katsuki flopped back against the deck, folding his arms under his head. "Yeah, kiddo, why the hell wouldn't I be?"

Sayuri pursed her lips and stepped outside, sliding the door behind her. She took a seat next to him. "Are you a little sad Shouhei is leaving?"

"Mmm..." he grunted, pushing himself up. "Would be kinda stupid to be. He's not gonna be far away and I want him to grow the fuck up."

She snorted. "Yeah. I bet. He's an idiot."

"Oi! Don't talk about your brother that way."

"But you just-!"

"It's different when it's me. I'm your father!" he said, huffing out.

"Yeah, yeah," she grumbled, folding her arms over her chest. "I... am going to miss Shouhei being around all the time..." she whispered quietly, swinging her legs over the side of their deck. "I know he's going to be close by but... it's different... you know?"

Katsuki's hand gently pat the top of her head, messing up her blond hair. "I know..."

"It's okay if you're... gonna miss him too," she said quietly.

"Mmm. Your brother is a strong kid and I want him to succeed and do well," he muttered. "Hell I know he'll succeed and do well. It is gonna be a little fucking weird seeing his room all empty and shit."

"Mhm..." Sayuri nodded.

Katsuki smirked, turning towards her. "I get to have you for a few more years at least."

"Yup," she smiled. "You're stuck with me."

"Good. I'm not letting you out of my damn sight!" he teased, pulling her towards him as he tickled her sides.

"No, Dad! Stop!" she laughed. "We have to leave! Mom is gonna get angry!"

"Don't make excuses!" he said, slowly letting up on his grip, but he kept Sayuri in his arms, staying quiet for a moment.

"Dad?"

"It's fucking difficult..." he muttered. "Watching you two idiots grow up. I love it and hate it."

She blinked, looking at her father's red eyes. He looked tired, more shaken than he wanted to let on. She knew her father loved training with Shouhei, pushing him to his limits. She could always hear the two of them laughing and yelling in the backyard, working on their quirks. She was always jealous... and now she couldn't even be a sparring partner for her father, not in the way he would want her to be.

"I'll just live at home for the rest of my life I guess," she sighed dramatically.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "That's the only damn solution."

"Mhm. Then Mom can do my laundry forever."

"Don't fuckin' count on that, baby girl," he said, pushing himself up. "The last thing your Mom needs is anymore stress. Let's get going."

"Sure," she said, following his lead. "Dad," she called out, pausing before he opened the door. "I love you..." she muttered, her cheeks flushing as she spoke.

Katsuki smirked. "Love you too, baby girl."

She really hoped her dad wasn't taking Shouhei leaving too hard. She knew her mom was going to cry, but maybe her dad wanted to too? She sometimes wished he didn't keep his feelings inside so much, maybe then she wouldn't have felt like she had to as well.

~~

Arata set down the final box in his dorm, wiping his brow. Now would've been the perfect time to start training, with his body all heated and intense. He'd sent his parents to help Yuuta, since the idiot had managed to pack far more than him. Besides, Arata was perfectly happy to unpack on his own. He wanted to set up his room how he liked it.

The class B dorm was located right next to the class A one, but for some reason, Arata felt like it was miles away.

Good. He preferred to focus rather than have Yuuta bugging him all night.

Even though Yuuta had always been right down the hall... this was different and strange, and for once he was actually independent?

He stared at a box on his floor, knowing he should start unpack, but for some reason his body felt heavy, like he was weighed down by some unknown force.

"Knock, knock!"

Behind him his mother's voice startled him and he turned to face Momo. Her long dark hair was pulled up into a large bun and she smiled at him. "Can I come in?" she asked, still standing in the door frame.

He supposed this was one time he couldn't exactly say no to his mother.

"Yeah," he said and moved one of the boxes off of his bed.

"You know, your father had a traditional style room when we were in high school," she began, taking a seat on the side of his bed. "My room was taken up by mostly my bed," she laughed. "I'm happy to see you and Yuuta have more... balanced rooms."

Arata honestly thought his room looked very plain.

"Did you finish Yuuta's room?" he asked.

"Almost," Momo nodded. "Your father is finishing up a few things but, they're mostly done. I wanted to come check on you. Though it seems I didn't have to."

"Yeah, everything here is fine," he said. He didn't need his mother's help to set up his room. He wasn't a child anymore, and he wanted to prove that to her and his father.

Momo glanced at the two unopened boxes now on the floor that Arata had left. "I could help with those," Momo said, pointing to the two.

"It's fine. I'll do them later probably," Arata shrugged.

Momo glanced down, scraping her teeth over her lip. "Mhm. Okay..."

He hated being awkward with his parents, he really did... but he couldn't keep letting them hold him back from achieving what he wanted.

"Your father and I were thinking we could go out to dinner one last time, just the four of us?" Momo said. "Since my precious boys are moving out," she laughed. "It's going to be very quiet at home without you two. Ochako is lucky she gets to have Sayuri still!"

Arata winced, feeling bad for turning down his mother so often. "I dunno, I'm not that hungry. I kinda wanna read ahead in text books and check up on what we're going to be talking about this year..."

"Oh..." Momo sighed. "We'd really appreciate it if you came to dinner. I don't want to force you, but... this is your family. You know how important family is to your father, to me."

Arata pushed his teeth against his lower lip, the guilt rolling under his skin. He did know, and he especially knew how mad his father would be if he found out Arata was training with Endeavor... so many times had Shouto reassured him of so many things... So many times in the past month had he shut his door and not let Momo in. He could see from the look in her dark eyes it hurt far more than maybe even he realized.

He swallowed. "I just..."

"Arata," Momo began, turning her gaze towards him. Her dark eyes were sharp and focused on his gentle blues. "I don't... wish to make assumptions about what you are feeling. Being a teenager is... difficult," she began, gently placing her hand over her chest. "I had no idea how to utilize my quirk when I was your age and... I had very little faith in my own abilities. Your father was one of the first people to believe in me and actually help me see what I could do."

Arata stared back at his mother. She was a powerful force. Her creation quirk was unique and incredible... seeing her make practically anything she wanted had always been amazing to Arata. He didn't deny her strength, nor did he deny his father's... and both of them were so humble about it. He could recall times out shopping where his mother would sign autographs for little girls who wanted to be just like her.

He honestly couldn't imagine her being insecure and nervous. It just... didn't seem to suit her. She was so poised and collected all the time, and she certainly handled herself better than his father did on occasions.

Momo sighed, standing up to take Arata's hand. "Whatever you're going through, I will never force you to talk about it." She gently brushed her hand through his hair, her fingers trailing through the red and black pieces. "But know, that your father and I... and your brother are always here for you, no matter what." She brought her hands around Arata's cheeks, cupping his face. "I know you're going to do great things here." She pressed her lips against his forehead. "I love you. You and Yuuta will always be my precious gifts."

The lump that pressed against his throat hurt, especially when he tried to swallow it down. He didn't want to cry in front of his mother, especially when he didn't know why he would. It wasn't like he would never see his parents again... and he wanted this. He wanted to be away from them and be given the chance to prove himself.

He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her back. He could give her that... it wasn't as if he didn't love his mother. "I love you too..." he mumbled shyly.

"Alright..." she whispered, and he noticed the way her eyes glistened with tears threatening to fall. "I-I better let you get back to it!"

"Mom..." he muttered. "Don't cry... it's not like Yuuta and I won't see you."

"I-I know, sweetheart. I just hate thinking about the house being so empty."

"Dad's still there," he said, his cheeks flushing. He couldn't deal with his mother crying over them leaving.

"It's different," she said.

Arata sighed. "Okay, okay... I'll come to dinner. Let's just get you out of here so you stop crying."

Momo blinked, staring at her boy, a smile pulling across her face. "You want to come to dinner?"

"Yeah... Lemme guess, Dad wants soba."

Momo giggled and hugged Arata again. "Yes. But you do too, don't you?"

"It doesn't sound bad..." he grunted.

After shutting them out constantly for the past month, one night with his family couldn't be too bad.

~~

"And you know you can come home whenever you want?"

"Yes, Mom," Shouhei sighed. "This is the fourth time you've said it."

"Well... I get nervous!" she said. "If you're unhappy, I don't want you to think you can't come home or change schools or anything like that! You don't have to stay because your father and I did." Ochako rushed through her words, tears bubbling at the corner of her eye.

"Mom, please don't explode. That's Dad's job," Sayuri sighed, folding her arms over her chest.

"Okay, okay. I'm calm, I promise," she said, leaning against Katsuki.

The Bakugous had shared a nice family dinner out, enjoying a grand meal of curry. But now they were dropping Shouhei back at the dorm and Ochako could barely get out her goodbye.

She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. "I just don't wanna let you go yet, Shou," she whimpered.

"Mom, seriously... I'll be fine," he said, shaking his head.

"I know, you say this, but..." she whimpered.

"You better be fucking good! I don't wanna get anymore phone calls about you causing fucking problems with the Half and Half twins!" Katsuki snapped.

Shouhei groaned, stepping away from his mother. "I won't okay," he glared, and turned towards Sayuri, guilt flashing through her brown eyes. They usually only got in trouble trying to protect her.

He could tell being at the school made her uncomfortable. There were plenty of different classes at U.A. so really Sayuri could attend if she wanted to... but he knew deep down inside she wanted to be a part of the hero class... standing with him.

She'd be quiet ever since they got to the school, and admittedly, Shouhei was a little worried about her going back to that damn middle school without him there. At least she had Kazu...

He thought to mention it to his parents, but the last thing he wanted to do was worry them more.

"I love you, Mom," he said, hugging her one more time. "You too, Dad... and Sayu I guess..."

He stepped over to his sister and hugged her one final time. "Don't do anything stupid," she teased. He rolled his eyes, pulling away from her, and he really wanted to tell her to be safe. He didn't like leaving his parents, but especially his sister...

"Okay, I'm sure I'll see you in a few weekends or something," he shrugged, trying to be casual about it, but leaving his family was... surprisingly difficult.

"Of course! You can come home anytime you like," Ochako said, smiling as she gently rubbed his head. "Now go kick some ass!"

"Hell yes!" he cheered.

Waving goodbye, he made his way back to the dorm room. A few others were still moving in and saying goodbye to their parents. Shouhei couldn't believe these people would be his friends over the next few years.

But he especially couldn't believe that Yuuta's room was so damn close to his. Finally, they could hang out all the time, just as they had dreamed of when they were little kids.

He smirked, tucking his hands into his pockets as she gently rapped on Yuuta's door. No one would be around to bug them. Arata wouldn't be there... no parents... even with a curfew, Shouhei was thrilled.

The door creaked open and Yuuta's face immediately lit up. "Shou!" he said, opening the door wide for him.

"Hey Yuuta," he said, stepping inside, letting the door shut behind him. He was smiling so wide, his cute cheeks slightly flushed. Oh, it took all of his effort not to grab his cheeks and pull him in for a kiss.

"Did you just get back from dinner?"

"Mhm..." he said. "Did you? Did Arata go with you guys?"

"Yes and shockingly, yes! I think he was feeling pretty guilty since Mom was sort of crying and stuff," Yuuta giggled. "I was going to make a joke that he's weak to her crying... but... all of us are."

"Yeah, my mom cried too. For a second I thought my dad would cause he had this weird scrunched up look on his face, but he didn't," Shouhei snorted.

"I really don't think I can imagine your dad crying..." Yuuta said, his eyes wide, blinking while he thought about the scenario.

"Trust me, I only saw it a few times as a kid," he admitted. "I think he was crying over Sayuri and shit... It was... weird."

"I'll bet... I can't think of a time I ever saw my dad cry."

"Mmm Shouto is really stoic."

"Yeah," Yuuta laughed. "Kinda like Arata! He was really quiet at dinner, but I think my parents were happy he at least came this time."

"Yeah... have you asked him what his deal is?" Shouhei asked, tilting his head.

"Mmm... Kinda... he wouldn't really talk to me. He just keeps mentioning how he wants to get stronger and stuff," Yuuta sighed. "I don't get it. He's plenty strong as is! He's stronger than me for sure," Yuuta said. Shouhei couldn't count how many times he'd heard Yuuta say that. He disagreed, but he knew Yuuta would get all flustered and say Shouhei was wrong.

Cute.

But right now, Yuuta just looked sad. Knowing him, he probably missed his parents a lot, and with Arata acting so distant... maybe everything just felt far away.

But Shouhei was right here.

He wrapped his arms around Yuuta and pulled him onto his bed, the two of them collapsing down onto the plush surface. "Hey... you know what though..."

"Hm?" Yuuta blushed, tilting his dark eyes to look at Shouhei.

"I get to do this as much as I want now." He leaned down and brushed their lips together, kissing him gently. He cupped at his cheek and gently sucked on his lower lip. Yuuta's soft sigh against his lips only spurred him on and he rolled closer to Shouhei.

"I don't mind... that..." Yuuta whispered, his cheeks flushed. Shouhei just adored how shallow Yuuta's breathing grew when he kissed him, like he actually took his breath away.

"I'm excited to be living this close to you," Shouhei said, smiling against his lips. "Maybe I can just stay in your room," he smirked.

"S-Shouhei!" Yuuta gasped, gently pushing on his chest. "We could get in serious trouble for that!"

His black eyes looked so nervous, his round cheeks flushed, and Shouhei couldn't help but laugh. "Calm down, Yuu... I wouldn't actually stay over. I'm not gonna get you in fuckin' trouble," he snorted.

"Oh really?" Yuuta giggled, shaking his head. "I find that hard to believe."

"I promise I'm not gonna do anything you're uncomfortable with," he said, cupping his cheeks to kiss him again.

He'd known he'd been crushing on Yuuta for as long as he could remember actually having feelings for someone. They were friends, but he could never stop thinking about how cute Yuuta was. How when he got nervous, he was adorable, but there were other times he was strong and badass, ready to defend Sayuri with him. Whatever nerves he may have had went out the window when it came to justice and being a good person.

Yuuta always went above and beyond. He was going to be a perfect hero, Shouhei just knew it. And Shouhei loved him, even if he wasn't quite ready to tell him that yet.

"I know you wouldn't," Yuuta whispered. Against Shouhei's hip, his hand felt warm, though Shouhei was well aware of how cold Yuuta's flames could be... how incredibly blue and lovely they looked.

He couldn't wait to train with him.

"I can't believe we're actually here... at U.A!" Shouhei chuckled, pecking his lips again as he snuggled close to him.

"I know!" Yuuta laughed, though Shouhei could sense the slight hesitation in his voice.

"Hey," he said, peering down at him. "No matter what happens... we have each other, okay?" he said, pressing his lips against his gently.

"Yeah, I know... I'm really happy we're here together," Yuuta said, smiling as he kissed Shouhei back, wrapping his arm around his neck.

"Me too..."

No matter what, Shouhei would be supporting Yuuta, and honestly, he was happy to have Yuuta there as well. School was starting tomorrow and the first night away from home was, admittedly, a little scary... but with Yuuta here, Shouhei felt a comfort he prayed to never be without.

[artisticestheticreads]

CONNECTED

~In this chapter, Erik & Maya decide to enjoy each other’s company by having lunch. We get a closer look into their budding relationship. I’m going to try a writing technique I haven’t done in a while. Inspired by the ‘Daniel Caesar Channel’ on Pandora so if you really wanna set the tone this will help.

Warning: Contains a little fluff and some smutty thoughts with innuendos.

FOUR

ERIK

 It was the day. The day that I counted down to; lunch with a vision like Maya Symone. I stepped out the shower to prepare, washed my face and brushed my pearly whites. I wore my dreads slicked back with natural pomade and trimmed my beard with a pair of clippers; I was looking sharp as hell. I went into my bedroom to the closet to find something to wear; a plain white long-sleeved tee, acid wash jeans with come freshly polished combat boots I’ve since my navy days. I slipped on my beads, gold ankh chain and was on the way to pick up Maya in my used black 2008 Cadillac CTS. The night before, I got to talk to her for hours about anything. She was so chill, serene. She wasn’t like anything or anyone that I can imagine. Her voice was so chill and surreal that it seemed as if I met the woman of my dreams in the flesh.

 I finally pulled up to her apartment building and stepped out to stand by the passenger side so I can get the door for her like a real man should; I texted her to let her know that I was out. That is when I saw her. She had on a pair of jean shorts with a red sweatshirt and some black Chuck Taylors. Her hair was in a low style, topped with a bowl hat fedora and her glossed lips curved up. I walked slowly up on to the curve. “Hello, Miss Maya.”

MAYA SYMONE

    Erik stood there looking at me with a brow rose to his hairline. “Hello, Mr. Erik. You look nice.” Nice was an understatement. He was ripped, charming and can make any sista melt. When he smiled, I had to smirk. “Thank you. You look great. What did you have a taste for? Today is all about you.” Smooth sone of a bitch. “Well, how about sushi? I haven’t had it in a while.” He nodded and opened the door for me. Once I got in, he shut my door and made his way to his side. I couldn’t help but watch him. Just the swagger in his walk made him even more irresistible than the night we met. He stopped to let a car pass before letting in his car. He settled in, buckling his seatbelt, and turning his car on. 

  “Do you have a music preference?” I shook my head and he turned on the Daniel Ceasar radio through Bluetooth in his car; Lately by Russ played. I moved my head to the beat and he did the same when we pulled off. “So, Erik. What made you want to go to lunch so quick?” He only paid attention to the road. “Why you ask?” I kept it real. “Because men usually like to make women wait for weeks on in before wanting to see them. The only time they wanna see a woman this quick is when they want something.” Erik looked over at me and said “well, I’m not that type. I can’t speak for them but I know better. I just liked your company. I got a nice vibe from you, Maya.”

ERIK

  I looked back to the road leaving her speechless. She didn’t know a man like me would be straight forward. “So, Maya. Tell me about yourself. Are you actually from here?” She looked over at me and ahead. “I was born here but my folks were from Michigan. We moved around a lot since my dad was in the service but when he retired we all stayed here. What about you?”

“Me? Eh, I was born in Oakland. Pops was a...” I had to think. What can I say that wasn’t the truth but not a lie either. “My dad was a leader. He raised hope & awareness for our people. He was basically like a modern Black Panther.” Maya kept her eyes on me, like if she was trying to read me. “You said was. Is he not here anymore?” I kept my eyes on the road but shook my head and stayed quiet. Losing my dad was a very hard feeling. Something I can never get over. Hopping from one home to another, put a toll on me. Especially with not being able to contact my mother. I had no idea what had happen to her until I was sixteen. 

  “I lost my mother” was all I heard from my right. Maya looked straight ahead but still talked. “When I was fourteen, she was sick from cancer. Ovarian cancer to be exact. It was painful to see her like that. Just to see a woman like that hurt me a lot.” My eyes were still on the road as I tried to hold the tears back. “I’m sorry, Maya. Must’ve been hard.” My right arm was on the armrest, alone, Until I felt a set of fingers intertwine mine. “Me too, Erik. Me too.”

MAYA SYMONE

   We finally arrived at the sushi bar On Hollywood Blvd. We decided to sit outside on the stools to enjoy the sun and breeze. I sipped from my green tea lemonade when I noticed Erik peeking at me from his peripheral. “Yes, Mr. Stevens”, I asked and heard him chuckle. “Nothing. Just enjoying the view. So, when did you start writing?” He sipped from his cup when I replied. “Hmmm, I would have to say back in high school. It helped with the loss of my mom. My dad bought me a journal to write my emotions down and what not. I was awful at expressing myself ever since I was younger. He thought it would help.” I started to make circles in my drink with my straw as he watched. I looked over at him and asked: “wanna play a game?” 

“What kind of game?”

“Just a game so we can get to know each other more.” He raised his brow so I began to start. “First question, if you can go back in time and meet any historical figure, who would it be and why?” He tapped his fingers on the on oakwood table and said “easy, Huey P. Newton. Not only did he lead our people in a revolution but he also stood for us through anything.” I nodded and said “this might be a hard one but I actually would want to meet my great great grandmother on my dad’s side. She was a fully African woman from Kenya. Birthed over fifteen children, grandmother to eighteen and great grandmother to a lot. She was a sculptor who usually showed emotion through her work. My grandma has told me that her grandmother was known to be a crazy woman but to the family, she was just different.” I looked over at Erik and I saw was a smile. “Good answer. My turn?”

ERIK

  She bit her lip at me with a smile and I couldn’t help but look in her hazel eyes. “Kiss, Marry or Kill; Denzel, Idris or Me?” I leaned on my right hand and flashed a big old smile making her laugh. “C’ mon, Erik. That ain’t fair.”

“Why it ain’t?” She looked at me with a smirk and rolled her eyes. “Alright fine. Kill Denzel..” She looked at me with a lip bite and continue. “Kiss you and Marry Idris.” I covered my heart pretending to be hurt. “You wouldn’t marry me? Awe man that hurts me. Dang...” She wiped my pretend tear and said: “at least I didn’t say kill you instead.” I looked down at her and took her hand, caressing it with my thumb. “I guess so.” She looked at me and said, “my turn. What do you wanna do with yourself? Like you mentioned that you are the assistant to a teacher. Did you wanna do more that?” I looked over at her and was in deep thought. “To be honest, I never thought about it. Not sure what to do. When I came back overseas. I was just looking for something to help pay bills. But for as long as I’ve done it, I enjoy it. Maybe, I’ll teach.”

  The waiter finally came with our big buddha roll and steamed rice with sauce on the side. “I can actually see you as a teacher. Like the teacher that all the single moms want a conference with after school.” I bit into my roll and chuckled. “Maybe. Would you want a conference with me?”

MAYA SYMONE

  When he said that I looked over at him with a smirk on his face and little sauce on his lip. I got a napkin to wipe his mouth for him and couldn't help but look at his full lips. So delicious looking. I stared into his eyes as I still wiped his mouth. His eyes were an amazing chocolate shade and his lashes were long and full. The last time I was this close to a man, it changed me for who I am today. I placed the napkin down and grabbed another roll to place in my mouth. “You alright, Maya?” I was so deep in thought that he must’ve noticed. “I’m good” I smiled with a grin and he placed his hand my lower back as he kept eating. 

LATER THAT DAY

   We pulled up to my home afterward and he stood in front of me, leaning on the car. “Thank you for lunch. I enjoyed it.” He nodded and said “don’t mention it. It was nice to see you again. I was wondering what you were doing tomorrow night.” I held my hands in front of me and shook my head. “Wanna go for dinner? I know this French place downtown that just opened. Supposed to be nice. Want to join me?” 

   “Sure. What time do you wanna pick me?” He stood and walked over, towering me. “I met reservations for eight.” I looked up to him confused. When did you make those?”

“This morning.”

“What if I said no”, I folded my arms and he said “if you did say no then I would be in there all in my lonesome. You wouldn’t want that on your mind, would you?” Damn, he got me.  “Fine. You can ring u and I’ll let you tomorrow night so you won’t wait out here by your ‘lonesome.’“ He covered his mouth to laugh and said “Ok. Which number are you?”

“2F. When you get off the elevator, you are going to make right and I’ll be three doors down on your right.” He looked at me and got closer, caressing my cheek. “I would lie to Facetime tomorrow morning. Is that okay with you?” I nodded before he placed a kiss on my cheek while held his other hand. “I’ll be waiting, young man.” He let my hand go and made my way to my door. I waved back at him and he did the same before getting his ride and driving back. Once I got to my place, I soon got a text that read:

Good night, beautiful. Can’t wait to see you.

  I slipped out my shoes, jean shorts and hat, lied down and smile to myself looking up at my painting of sunflowers. Maybe he is different, I thought to myself before falling asleep.

~

Ok, I have the next chapter finished. Just have to add gifs, pics and edit. It’ll be about Maya’s past and how she became the woman she is today. The chapter is more graphic and involves a lot of sexual situations so be prepared.

~

TO CATCH UP, PRESS HERE.

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[jimlingss]

my concert experience

so i went to Hamilton for all three concert days like a psycho. and now ive returned with my sanity lost, my vocals damaged, and an empty wallet .__.

I honestly don’t remember that much and I didn’t sit that close so I’m not sure how detailed I can be....the first day I sat lower section and the other two days, I sat upper balcony. Watched with my own eyes, the screen, and use of binoculars. Alright...let’s do this...

General Notes: For some reason on the first day, their voices were a few pitches higher, especially for Jimin and Jungkook. I thought it was odd and it was my first concert experience so I didn’t know if this was how it was supposed to be. I suspected that it might’ve been some kind of equipment error. Turns out on the second day, Namjoon said they monitored their performance and made adjustments so I was right. It was because of the equipment or some kind of technician problem. (and Jimin looked like he was going to cry at some points on the first day so I wonder if it was because of the audio problems).

On the second day, Jungkook’s mic faded in once or twice (as well as someone else’s) but for the most part they sounded like they do in the studio. Third day was perfect. Their voices legit sound like the recordings.

First time I went was a surreal experience. Didn’t know what happened. Felt like a dream. Second time I could soak it in better. Third I was a lot calmer and able to enjoy just as much.

Namjoon: I felt like he was really sincere. I don’t know how to explain but he felt really sincere in the way he sang, spoke, looked at the crowd and performed. His solo was earnestly done, the way he presents himself is entirely genuine and heartfelt. I don’t know anything other than to say....he is sincere. When I think back to it, I think the word ‘sincere’.....Also, he had a lame ass pick-up line on the first and second day and I fucking love that shit so....(he said something like ‘maple syrup is sweet but you guys are sweeter’.

Jin: So this dude is pretty soft looking (not as much as Yoongi tho). He’s really, really, really handsome. Like more than you’d expect....I know....how is that possible. But the camera doesn’t lie. think of the best pic you’ve seen of Jin ever....yea...that’s him. But he looks really princely. like royalty. like out of this world. not necessarily boy next door or someone approachable....just, very, princely. (also the entire crowd sang with him during his solo and it was super emotional and wow, touched my cold, dead, heart.)

Yoongi: He’s so soft. His smile is literally the sweetest thing ever, it’s like he was made out of honey or some shit. He doesn’t even bother singing his part in I Need U and just shoves the microphone into the crowd and then gives this sugary-ass, sheepish, gummy smile that makes the entire crowd go wild (including me). even when he was going hard during Tear, I still think he’s soft. He’s just so fucking soft looking. His cheeks, his skin, his smile. Soft.

Hoseok: Everyone always says the camera never does him justice but I found he looked pretty similar to how he does on screen. HoWEVER, the biggest difference is stage presence. Out of all of BTS, truly, Hoseok has the best stage presence. His solo was captivating. And he’s sexy. SEXY. JUST SEXY. I can never, ever, look at Hoseok as purely a happy-go-lucky guy again. he’s not just cheerful or carefree. He’s not just boy next door, the kid you grew up with type. HE’S HOT. Literally, the sexiest out of all of them....think cypher performances of Hoseok...yeah...he’s like that...all the time....

Jimin: ok, no lie, I paid the most attention to him cause duh, he’s my ultimate bias and i’d eat my shit for him. He’s got sharper features than expected. (chubby diminnie is no more). And he got really emotional at some points looking at the crowd. the way he thanks the fans is truly heartfelt and i could feel that he was truly grateful for everyone in the audience. He might not look cute (that jawline is damn sharp) but his mannerisms are fucking cute as hell. don’t know how to explain but the way he smiles, speaks, waves, it’s cute. he’s a cute fluff ball when he’s having fun.

Taehyung: so Tae is not my bias, far from it but holy. fucking. hell. i have the most to say about this guy...this guy...he owns the stage. he absolutely OWNS it. while the others can dominate and perform well, there’s something about Taehyung that makes it seem he especially has fun on stage. Like he’s having so much fun being there. It’s not just a job or a performance. it’s fun for him. His smile is amazing. It’s bratty, mischievous and almost cocky. When he smiles, you’re like....the fuck....WHY ARE YOU PLAYING WITH ME?! I love all the solos. Seesaw is my personal favourite, and all the solos were so well done....they were like ‘here’. But Singularity was UP THERE. It was undeniably the best solo, each and every time, for all three days. It was eXACTLY like the music video. the vocals to the performance to the dance. it was like ‘oh shit, holy fuck’. I watched with my jaw dropped each and every time. Singularity was hands down the best solo, despite the others being so fucking amazing. It was by far the most captivating.

Jungkook: He’s definitely the maknae. While on videos and in bombs, he doesn’t act like the maknae very often since he teases his hyungs and acts like a brat...but irl, one glance at him and you know he’s the youngest. he just looks very youthful. like a whole ass baby. Euphoria wasn’t my favourite but after seeing the performance, I can confidently say I love it now. His smile is so boyish. His smile is cute and it makes him look young. It’s really sweet to see him smile. When he smiles during Euphoria, your breath just gets taken away. I think he plays with the other members the most on stage (climbing on Hoseok’s back, doing this dance with Jin, stepping on Taehyung’s thigh lol etc.). So when I think of Namjoon, i think of ‘sincere’, when I think of Jungkook, I think ‘maknae’ and ‘young’ and ‘boyish’.

All in all, the experience wasn’t life altering (I don’t feel like my world has been reshaped - you expect that after seeing them you’re entire existence would change but it doesn’t lol) but it was very valuable. I’m so happy to have went and seen them. I’m glad for the experience and all the ARMYs I met were so awesome and fun. It was the best place hands-down to make friends.