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#from what i managed to process he also had a nice physicality in this scene at the theater!!
airenyah · 1 year
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everyone keeps going on about nanon's "microexpressions" but honestly, it's the way he plays with his voice for me
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anonduck07 · 5 months
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2024 Chinese GP: Recap + Results
Another one! Fair warning that it's the longest one so far, but I blame that on the 3 safety cars
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P1 is Max Verstappen, who takes his first Chinese GP win, leading by about 14 seconds!
Yes the car is great, but the guy behind the wheel is also having to deliver - Crofty about Verstappen post-race
Red Bull also sets the fastest pit stop of the race, double stacking Verstappen and Perez under the full safety car and setting 1.9 and 2.0 seconds respectively.
Lando Norris is P2, his best finish since 2023 brazillian GP. He was also voted DOTD, winning just ahead of Hamilton and Alonso, who were also fan favourite picks. He was a little unhappy after he missed out on pitting under the safety car, but all ends well for him.
He [Norris] is not a happy bunny - Crofty, probably, about the missed pit stop
Woop Woop! I told you we would get past the Ferraris. - Norris, after crossing the finish line
Checo Perez places P3, yet another Red Bull double podium! There was an interesting 5 second gap from him to Norris, likely due to Norris having fresher tires. At the beginning though, he pulled some nice moves, regaining his position from Alonso within a few laps of him losing it.
P4 and 5 were the two Ferraris, Leclerc finishing in front of Sainz for the first time this season. They had a bit of a clash at the start, but nothing that the broadcast really focused on.
P6 was George Russell
P7 was Alonso, who was placed on an interesting strategy for the last several laps. He pitted for mediums, allowing him to overtake Ocon, then Hulkenberg, then Hamilton and Piastri.
P8 was Piastri who, keep in mind, has never driven at this circuit before
P9 was Hamilton, who is DOTD in my heart. He struggled with his tires at the start, being only one of four drivers on softs (everyone else on mediums, except Magnussen). He seemed to fare better after pitting for mediums, making his way to finish P9 after starting P18 :)
We also got a few moments of Nico Rosberg trying to be on some sort of wavelength with Lewis while commentating:
He's Lewis Hamilton, so yes he can…get into the points…im sure he'll move up fine - Nico Rosberg
I'm making no ground with this tyre - Lewis Hamilton That's not what we want to hear - Nico Rosberg
I can't even catch him, Mate. This car is so slow. - Lewis Hamilton That's exactly what I was going to say - Nico Rosberg (Lap 17)
P10 was Hulkenberg, yet again managing points for HAAS
P11 was Esteban Ocon
P12 was Alex Albon, who had a complaint about Ocon "moving like a ---- everywhere on the breaks." on Lap 1
P13 was Gasly, who set the slowest pit stop (19.3 sec) after an incident in the pits where a loose tire hit a mechanic when he was set to be released.
Is he okay? - Pierre Gasly All good here Pierre - Alpine
An unfortunate no-points finish for Zhou, who places P14 at his home GP, but still a very emotional day for him.
This is a dream to me as a kid, so thanks for all the Chinese fans here and back home watching TV and thank you to my team…let's keep working. - Zhou Guanyu, after he gets out of the car
Sauber, as always, had issues with their pit stops. Zhou's first one was quick compared to their previous ones, at only 3.0 seconds, but his stop under the physical safety car was the second slowest at 5.3 seconds.
He had a short fight against Sargeant and picked up some damage after contact with Magnussen near the end, losing his front wing end plate in the process, which couldn't have helped his position.
P15 was Magnussen, who always seems to be at the scene of the crime. He also picked up a 10 second penalty for infringing on the safety car.
P16 was Stroll, after picking up a 10 second penalty for causing a collision. He also had a battle for 16th with Magnussen, which was pretty interesting.
P17 was Sargeant, who was doing pretty well for the most part. Then, he stacked up a 10 second penalty for the same reason as Magnussen.
DNFS
The first yellow flag was also the first DNF of the race, caused by Bottas whose engine reportedly failed. The FIA changed the yellow flag to a virtual safety car, then a full safety car, all within a minute or two. Truly a testament to their amazing decision making skills.
The second yellow flag was caused by Yuki Tsunoda's spin out at lap 27, after contact with Kevin Magnussen that led to Tsunoda having to DNF and Magnussen going into the pits for a punctured tire.
Just minutes later, his teammate also DNFs, as Stroll collides with the back of Daniel Ricciardo's RB under the safety car. This was likely due to the fact that Ricciardo was the only one who hadn't pitted for fresh tires during the last safety car, as well as the fact that he was trying to avoid bumping Piastri, who was trying to avoid Russell, who was trying to avoid Alonso. Stroll recieved a 10 second penalty for causing a collision, but Daniel retired on lap 33 after reporting floor damage.
This idiot just slammed on the brake! Check wing damage - Lance Stroll
I've got no fucking rear on exits - Daniel Ricciardo
Before that though, his drive was going "superb" (in the words of Nico Rosberg), as he was P9 and had made a switcheroo overtake on his teammate at turn 3.
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datrb · 9 months
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2023 art review!
Even if this year wasn't the biggest on art, due to my physical condition (especially in last couple of months), it would still be nice to look back on what i did as an artist throughout it!
This is gonna be a fun ride...
So, let's dive straight into it, shall we?
Continuation under the cut
January
2023 started on a high note, with me just having finished the King piece, and moving on to the next big thing, being an AvA3/5 double piece.
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Sadly, during the process i messed up big time which led to me being unable to finish the piece the way i wanted to, rendering this project an eternal WIP. However, i still cherish the idea and do wish to either redraw, or complete it.
February
Doing 2 big projects one after another did end up affecting my overall drive, so i spent majority of that month just making sketches.
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First one is a little redraw/redesign of my old character - Derek, whom i used for a roleplay with my friends like 3 or 4 years ago, and second one is Deach, a character from my fantasy setting.
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Also, back then i joined a new fandom, people in which have reminded me of my admiration for SCP, after which me and my friends proceeded to make OCs for it. Was a fun time! (Also this access card was sold by me as a YCH, sadly i couldn't really find buyers, so yikes)
March
By march is slowly started recovering from january's disappointement and was a bit more productive already. One of my friends really helped with it too.
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A musician friend of mine reached out to me, asking to develop a design for a villain character in the plot he was working on. After listening to the theme song i couldn't resist. This ended up being one of my favorite designs so far, and i adore its look in neon.
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In the meantime, i kept working on my fantasy setting, refining more minor details of designs and stories, yet having to reserve only to making sketches as i was too busy with college and other projects. Characters you see on screen are Ian and Lanfor respectfully. One is a strong yet troubled mage and other is a great Emperor, and even better person.
April
I'd say april was one of the most productive months of this year, mostly because i managed to snatch some time for myself and my setting, which allowed me to complete two full pieces and achieve some extreme progress with my story.
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This piece is an illustration to a scene i wrote for two of the characters, Lanfor and Emile, called "Night Visitor". This was a scene of a reunion of two old friends. A bittersweet, yet a lovely work. Love both the written one as well as the illustration.
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This one was more of a... Proof of concept. Needed to test out the expresiveness of the design for one or a relatively new characters - Covlar. Was originally a simple sketch on paper, but i couldn't resist the urge of making it into a complete illustration. I then proceeded to make a few notes for this scene. Both want to write it properly and avoid it at all cost... Best to avoid it, for my own sanity.
May
May was a bit of trainwreck, because i got a brand new laptop, which took me quite some time to get used to and even more time to reassure myself that it is in fact alright for me to draw on this suspicioiusly thin piece of tech.
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Ironically enough, the only vomplete piece i drew that month was drawn on my old laptop. This screenshot redraw was to made to honour the premiere of AvA6 ep.1. Sadly, i did it a bit late because fo technical issues, but i still had a ton of fun doing it.
June
June was... Chaotic, to say the least. Mostly because i finally got comfortable with the new laptop and could now draw a lot more freely due to it being a lot more compact than the original one, which worked almost like a PC. Besides, i got a ton more free time because semester finals ended up being a breeze.
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Ended up making a ton sketches and doodles, that i didn't actually plan to finish, but still enjoyed a ton. Here are some of them
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Then, ofc, the memes and the gand redesign, because AvA6 just had to break all of my portrayals. But, i mean, after AvM s3 my original designs did become a bit dated.
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The biggest pride and saddest of failures was this picnic piece, however. I still plan on finishing it, but it is hard doing so, when i have changed quite a bit of my artstyle by now.
July
July was quite lazy. Semester ended and i spent that entire month out of the city. It was a great time, very peaceul indeed.
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And again, that musician friend from before came into clutch, asking me to develop another design for his other project. And again a villain. He said he really liked how i draw bastard type of characters.
August
Well this is where fun began. End of summer break means i have just this much time to actually draw something i would never have time to draw normally.
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For me to draw something to commemorate a new episode is almost like a tradition at this point. And, given how long it's been since i made anything that would require effort, no wonder i have chosen arguably the most complex piece to pull off energy-wise. Yet i did and now i simply adore this piece, even if it did render me disabled. (I crunched through all of this piece, pulling off 40+ hours of work in just 4 days, so naturaly it ended up worsening my condition by a lot)
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Then i also proceeded to do all of these tiny side projects, like Victim ask, which i couldn't last long at due to my condition, and working on a design for my favourite streamer. (Which i cannot show as the work is not complete an it's best if i avoid spoilers)
September and October
These two months i spent being unable to draw at all via a doctor's advice. Arguably, these two were the hardest months for me to handle.
I assume you can imagine how hard it is to suddenly stop being able to do what you love, regardless of how much you wish to do it.
Novemer
*Nervous laughter* I... actually still wasn't allowed to use my hand, but that didn't stop me and i ended up making an entire series of sketches to celebrate AvA6 ep2.
"Small in big quantity will sure be less exhausting than a single big thing" - (C) Me, proably
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I will admit, i still adore all of these sketches and each of them deserves to become a fully fledged piece in it's own right, but i really better keep them as they are. For my own safety.
December
As you way have expected, this month will stay without a single thing from me. It's not because i don't want to, but because i can't. And, given the circumstance, it better stay that way.
Afterword
I finally got my diagnosis and soon enough i will start active treatment for my condition. It would be a shame to make this worse than it already is with impulses like those that happened in november, so i am making this post as a way to draw a line for myself.
It is still kinda crazy to realize that there are quite a few people interested in what i make, so i will make sure to take my recovery as responcible as possible, and then come back to you with even more art in the upcoming year! Let's be positive about it.
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joycrispy · 10 months
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So I've mentioned before that I've had a lot of arts n' crafts small creative projects on the go (and a few not-so-small ones, but that's another post), and I just kinda felt like talking about 3 of them.
SO I WILL.
1. Bookbinding
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This is more of an ongoing learning process than any one particular book I'm binding --but the process is going very well. Pictured here is the latest attempt, and my most ambitious attempt in that it was mostly me going, 'huh, I wonder if that would work' and dicking around until I got some sort of result.
(Example: I dyed that cover black. Did not know if it would work. It...kinda does? Further testing required.)
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The final book is far from perfect, but I'm actually very happy with it. It's like a prototype of the kind of book I've been wanting to make all along, the whole reason I picked up bookbinding. Old fashioned tomes are the goal here.
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More on that in a bit.
2. DnD Character Journals
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At the moment I am in three different ongoing campaigns (including one I'd been playing in for two years before Covid happened, now picked back up again, and another which is a sequel to a previously completed campaign. Exciting stuff. The third is a character I usually reserve for one-shots, but she got a whole campaign this time. Good for her!), and I have completed journals for two out of my three characters.
(If you don't know what a character journal is: it's basically just a Character Sheet, but way more extra and ~Aesthetic. Sort of a functional gaming scrapbook. I also design mine to make the game as accessible as possible to my very ADHD brain. I highly recommend it, as a practice).
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Pictured here is the main stat page for my monk, Wormwood, who just reached level 5.
Speaking of DnD...
3. Campaign Journal
So anyone who has played with me knows that I take EXTREMELY DETAILED NOTES, but this time around I'm taking the notes, immediately converting them into readable prose recountings (as opposed to fast n' easy notetaker's shorthand, which only makes sense to me), and then sharing them as an editable Google document with the group. They can add anything I missed, or flesh out details I skimmed over, add their character's POV of a scene, or whatever they like!
(This also has the neat side-effect of generating material for the DM's World Anvil, which is nice. He's free to pick and choose what he wants, or ask me to write an article for him, etc.)
This makes it very easy for the group to refresh their memories between sessions, but also, when the campaign is finished...there will be a very thorough record of it.
Last year I had the thought that, with the way I take my notes, I could easily print out a campaign journal and bind it as a physical book, and then have that as a memento/give it as a gift to the other players.
That's an exceptional amount of work to do AFTER the fact, but doing it one session at a time, as they happen...that's very doable.
I mean. People bind novel-length fanfiction for their own personal collections. There's no reason I shouldn't bind a novel-length campaign, lol.
And I can personalize each book to each player, as well! No, yeah, this is EXACTLY the kind of thing I love to contribute to a game. The group's excited, I'm excited, lots to look forward to, here.
I have other projects, including two large ones that are each going to take the better part of 2024, which slows all these little ones down...but I'm consistently whittling down the daily to-do list into something more manageable.
And work is nice right now because my main job atm is something I'm really, really good at...
(charity fundraising: my location is 1st in the district and 7th in the country for donations, and almost a third of those donations were made through me. I'm very, very good at this part of my job)
(I tend to be good at things I care about --ADHD, like I say-- and our partner charity benefits local queer and disabled kids who need shelter and support, so, YES, I CARE ABOUT THAT)
...so it makes the days pass quickly and peacefully. I get to come home in a good mood to all my little arts n' crafts. It's been very fun.
I'm glad I have time to be on tumblr again, though.
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elipheleh · 7 months
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i watched mary & george today and was blown away by it. i don’t tend to go for historical/period dramas and i tend to struggle to concentrate solely on a tv show, but i spent probably 80% of the time not using my phone (because it was so captivating) which is ridiculous given my normal which is like 25% max not on my phone. it was really very good.
spoiler thoughts under the cut, still processing my emotions tbh but it got q long
i would have liked to see more of the relationship between george & the king, it was - by all accounts - a very close relationship & the show presented it less in depth. i was really hoping “christ had john and i have george” would make it in, as well as some of their letters, but i guess it was focused too much on mary & george to fill that in. the relationship also seemed… weird? why did the king bite him like that?? other than occasional moments it didn’t feel like i was maybe expecting it to. i wasn’t expecting blatant love and affection but i was expecting some. it seemed mostly focused on the arguments.
i was surprised they went with george physically killing the king - while it is speculated he poisoned him, it was done through medication rather than so abruptly/violently. it made him much more… villainous, i suppose, determined to do anything to protect his position including killing the one he claimed to love, but it just… i didn’t really like that.
i saw someone saying about how george’s death was rushed and inconsequential and just of no real value & that was demonstrating how little impact his death really had - they had to hold his funeral at night because people loathed him so - & thought that was really interesting.
when george slept with carr only to say he just wanted him to think of that as he died… chills. they were both using sex to get the other to do something for them, the parallel between characters is beautiful there
the king’s heart scene… that was really special.
i loved that they showed george as loving katherine. i don’t know if he did in real life, but it was really nice that they had such a bond in this. she was very pragmatic and i think they were a great pairing.
very sad about sandie’s death. i hadn’t connected that it was bacon who’d ordered it until he said and it was very frustrating. so much backstabbing.
the… decapitation scene had me hiding from the screen only to be fooled and i had started looking again & they showed the decapitated head arghhh. unhappy about that. the hangings were.. not great but slightly better.
wasn’t expecting the second scene to be someone hung from a tree either which was an incredible shock.
cringed a lot at the dancing lol. i was glad that the ‘may i perform for you’ was about the instrument and not a dance. much less embarrassing.
i felt really bad for charles with the spanish bit. that was really frustrating and annoying.
kit rescuing george was my favourite thing. gross way to do so but the ‘how is he going to get out of this’ to “oh kit!!” was wonderful. george’s “are you sure we weren’t followed” in hindsight being ‘did you see kit’ was so clever. i think id have to watch it again to catch more nuances like that.
mary telling the attendants to leave her attached to george a little longer was soooo telling of their attachment, on mary’s behalf anyway.
the scene where george decides to go and join the french pair was really well done, his hesitation and then return when he decided to give in was so good. the being torn between what is “right” and what he wants.
love that they went back to the guy who was saying george would never get w the king & that he saw he’d managed it. really nice link there.
lastly (because im gonna keep going indefinitely otherwise) i really liked the lighting. the night scenes were accurately lit - firelight and candlelight - but you could still see what you needed to see, and it wasn’t just dark and dreary.
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mobius-m-mobius · 10 months
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Bottle Rocket anon reporting in 🫡
First off I very much appreciate your note about Bob’s big brother in fact being Owen’s big brother—I did think Future Man had a curiously outsized role in the behind the scenes. Granted, that behind the scenes’ whole vibe was ‘we emailed everyone involved, professionally shot three who turned up, and stuck in the self-filmed rambles mailed in by a smattering of others’, so I sort thought maybe his screen time was a matter of ‘well, he did in fact show up’—although itbf his being Owen’s brother doesn’t strictly discount that theory 😆 (Also my other favorite bit of that video was the very opening clip where Wes is talking about how people tend to respond strongly to his films, whether positively or negatively, and the cameraman goes, ‘well, that tells you something!’ and Wes replies with such earnest befuddlement, and a tinge of hope like this cameraman just might reveal the secret of it all to him: “Yes, but what?”
I haven’t properly sat down for another film yet, but I’ve been putting on the Night at the Museum films in the background. I have seen them before when I was pretty young—in fact it’s about the only thing I’d seen Owen Wilson in for more than a cameo pre-Loki. Between having watched the NatM movies at an age when I only vaguely distinguished between actors and characters, and the association being reinforced by Owen’s habitual cowboy hat, for a long time Owen Wilson and that excitable little man were basically synonymous in my mind.
So going back to it now was, silly though it may be, the first time I watched it going ‘oh hey—that actor right there is acting! :D’ And sure it’s no Mobius or Dignan for complexity, but it’s good acting, too! Genuinely I think it’s one of the best performances in the series when it comes to capturing the sort of cartoon-y tone of all the museum-pieces while also giving the feeling that that’s a whole person right there. And he also, once again, a completely different physicality to Mobius or Dignan. I adore the choice to play his physicality in such a way that it sometimes feels like his body just isn’t big enough to contain or express the size of his emotions.
I also didn’t realize I’d never watched the third film until I started it, which was a nice surprise. And I knew about the whole handholding bit with Jedediah and Octavius, but not the context. It has such clearly defined beats of: Oct: “We should hold hands.” Jed: “For what reason 👀” Oct: "No reason! Unrelated, I am in fact gay.” Jed: “Hell yeah, hand holding time.” (With an added dash of sweetness in that it’s become a well-defined character trait that Jed is ready to deploy his dying speech at any time, but once it’s been established as on the table he goes, ‘I’d rather just be close to you, actually). Anyway, to me at any rate it plays as ‘close to canon as we could get away with in a big budget 2014 kids movie’, and I do appreciate it.
Hi again Bottle Rocket anon, always a pleasure!! 😊🚀💖
Oh I'm positive you're right about Andrew getting such a big role in the bts documentary just because he showed up regardless of being Owen's brother lmao, but they did luck out considering of everyone involved from an acting perspective he was the most likely one to actually give them decent talking points regarding the process leading up to filming, set vibes, and more insight on Owen and Wes than Owen and Wes themselves actually wanted to 😂
Definitely feel you too about not finding time to sit for another movie as I'm just the same and when I do manage enough free time to start one it's still not even enough to finish in a single sitting 😅 You're not the first who's mentioned NatM being the main association with Owen pre-Loki which is completely understandable, I hadn't seen any of the movies until after Loki S1 and would've been way happier having grown up with an excitable mini cowboy at the forefront of my mind, lol.
Love that you brought up his physicality and setting the vibe because one major thing that's constantly delighted me about Owen is how he naturally adjusts to not only the tone of a film but the other actors in a scene better than anyone I've seen before and I think people really underestimate how valuable that is?? It's easy to think "oh well that's just what acting is" but actually pulling it off across such a huge range of genres the way that he does is really rare and like you mentioned in NatM it's extremely noticeable that he makes Jed feel real in a very exaggerated premise which also stands out massively in his cameos where I always find myself wishing whatever movie took place during the ten minutes he showed up in is the full movie I was actually watching because he's such a breath of fresh air.
Also constantly get caught up in the way he carries himself because that's such a huge element to the personality of his characters! In comparison to how Dignan approaches people in a unexpectedly blunt way that leaves them wanting more and Mobius intrigues in such a genuine manner that catches everyone off guard, for all Jed's teasing he's direct enough that Octavius knows where he stands but not so much so that there isn't room for the big dramatic moments they both enjoy before settling right back at his side. It's not only nice to see they did get as close to canon as likely was possible in such a big budget kids movie but that we all at least have a lasting ship of Owen's with a happy ending to console ourselves with after the Loki finale! Small victories and all that, haha
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🔥, 🌲, 🛷?
-verkja
Thank you for the ask! From this ask game.
🔥 Fireplace: what type of scene are you most comfortable writing? Emotional, action, dialogue-heavy?
Listen, I am always uncomfortable. I do hate action most, and I have most fun with emotional scenes (if you count sobbing into a pillow as fun).
🛷 Sled: how has your writing process changed this year? Or: are you going to try anything new in your process in 2023?
It was the first time I tried several of those writing prompts/challenges. It was fun, but stressful. I managed to fully embrace “just as much worldbuilding as I need in the moment”, and “chapters can have a little time skip, as a treat”.
I have to try writing less. As nice as it is having the results, this was far from healthy and I do so miss some other hobbies. I also gotta give outlines a try, because I am reaching stories where I kinda have to plan, and I am terrified of it :D
🌲Pine Tree: share a snippet that shows a character being strong (whether that’s physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.)
That one time Valadan carried a half-dead Josephine back to camp, and through the portal, before he had his well deserved breakdown :) Adrenaline is one hell of a drug I guess.
“Let us help.”
No. There was no time. Valadan started to run again, ignoring his protesting muscles and the burning in his lungs. He had to get back to camp, to the citadel, where someone could help her.
“Portal,” he wheezed.
Tassilo understood; Valadan prayed to Duriath that the mage understood. He ran ahead, while Lee stayed at Valadan’s side. 
The way back to camp took barely longer than before. His legs were moving on their own, his hands holding on on their own. When he arrived, gasping for breath and stumbling towards the spot where they had set up the portal earlier that day, everyone crowded around him. Valadan pressed Josephine against his chest, but no one tried to take her, or even touch her.
The only one not staring at him and the lifeless body in his arms was Anka. They crouched next to the portal, fiddling with a mechanism full of crystals. 
“The portal will be up in a second,” someone said. 
Valadan didn’t bother to find out who it was. The minute it took for the portal to light up was the longest in his life. He didn’t even know if Josephine was still alive. She had to be alive. His own arms were trembling too much to see if her chest rose, but her skin was still warm. Weren’t her eyelids fluttering? She had to be alive. 
“Please don’t die. Please. Hang on.” His voice was shaking. His arms were shaking. He didn’t dare set her down, knowing that he’d never manage to pick her up again if he did. “Please. Please, Josephine.”
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booksofpeach · 8 months
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The Cruel Prince by Holly Black
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⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
46/50
Plot
5/5
At first I was sceptical about the world. I was very confused about the Fae realm, and the whole world structure. Despite this, I often had no idea what was going to happen or where the story was going to go. I thought it was going to be a "supernatural school romance" where our protagonist falls in love with her bully. I was very pleased to my surprise, although that is indeed what happened, the events surrounding it were exciting and often unpredictable. I liked the reveal, where we found out who could be the next king of the Fae realm, and overall I enjoyed where the story was swaying. It added an interesting dynamic to the book for me that most of the characters were physically unable to lie (cheers, Cardan!).
Protagonist
5/5
I didn't like Jude as a person at all. But my God, she was a great choice for the lead! Finally a cunning female character who isn't afraid to get her hands dirty. She thought, she felt, and she did a lot of questionable things in the process - but she was no stranger to that either! It was very refreshing to finally have a female protagonist whose personality I dislike and who often annoys me, but I still root for her and admire her strength and perseverance.
Love interest
5/5
Cardan became one of the most interesting characters for me by the end of the book. At first I had no idea how he and Jude could be attracted to each other. But once the book reached its climax, we finally got to know Cardan's charming and witty personality, which I thought was a great match for Jude's purposeful and measured character. I really enjoyed his humorous comments, laughing out loud many times at the scenes he was in.
Chemistry
5/5
It ended up being a very strange and unconventional grumpy x sunshine romance, as Jude couldn't let go of her responsibilities, was often tense and depressed, and Cardan’s life was also up in flames and needed all the help he could get to distract him, but he tried to keep his spirits up. Even though their relationship didn't start well, they always trusted each other - which confirmed that they could go from being enemies to love each other. Their kissing scene surprised me, but I was glad, it fitted the story perfectly. I had the impression that in this book it was as if the author had reversed the roles: Jude did not spout witty comments, she did a lot to move the plot along or change it. Cardan, on the other hand, couldn't get Jude out of his head for a long time, and he was the more pleasant, emotionally accessible character. It's usually the other way around with fantasy romances, and I really liked this breath of fresh air.
Side characters
4/5
I was pleased with the supporting characters in this book. I learned as much about them as I would have liked. Even though Roach, Ghost and Bomb didn't get to me emotionally until the very end, I was okay with that too. I never liked Locke, and he gave me the creeps a lot of the time, which is why I liked that he was around Jude for a while. I was fine with Jude's family, although it would have been nice to know more about Taryn.
Character development
4/5
In terms of character development, apart from Jude, I would like to single out Cardan. Even though he managed to get Jude to kiss his feet and push her into the river, I still managed to let him get away with that eventually. He was able to admit his feelings despite the domestic violence he suffered through, hence why it must have been difficult for him. He also gained Jude's trust and he could trust her. Also, Jude's development was a bit smaller for me, as she has always been a tough and dedicated woman, but I still didn't feel a lack of interest by the end of the book.
Spicy scenes
3/5
I'll be very, very, very curious to see where the book goes in this area, as their kissing scenes are not what I would literally call "spicy", which didn't bother me, but I hope the author handles them well in the future.
Writing style / translation
4/5
I read the book in Hungarian and I had no problem with the translation. I didn't find the translator's style unpleasant and I'm happy to read other books in Hungarian. The political parts were easy to understand, the book was fast-paced and exciting.
Ending
5/5
It was obvious to me that the crown would end up on Cardan's head at the end of the book, but I was very happy to be right. I devoured the last third of the book in my seat, I enjoyed it so much. The coup was brilliantly written and Jude's plan was excellent.
Enjoyment
5/5
Finally, a fantasy that wasn't crammed with cringe dialogue, lots of unnecessary characters, and a story that focuses on the main character's inability to think about anything other than her love interest. I loved that Jude was not a damsel-in-distress, and that she had plans, her own thoughts, her own goals. All in all, I had a lot of fun, and she managed to convince me despite how skeptical I was at first!
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mca-attack21 · 3 years
Text
Semi-Flayed
Steve Harrington x Reader. Season 3 finale spoilers.
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The floor was cold, the atmosphere chaotic. The screams of your friends were drowned out by the fireworks and snarls of the mindflayer. Despite the noise, you clearly heard Billy, or the Mindflayer rather, whisper, “Stay still, it will all be over soon," his words sent ice through your veins. You struggled against his grasp, but it was no use. Realizing the imminence of your demise, you felt an overwhelming sadness, not even for yourself, but for Steve Harrington, the first and apparently last love of your life. As the “flaying” began, he was the only thing on your mind. You hoped that he would survive this, that he would get out of Hawkins, that he would be happy. You hoped-
“Y/N!” Steve screamed as he blew his cover to run to your side.
This caught the attention of Eleven, who managed to use her powers to throw Billy away from you. She fell back against Mike. The rest of the kids were still blasting the mind flayer with fireworks. Steve used the opportunity to pick you up and carry you away from the action.
“Y/n? Can you hear me? You gotta wake up okay? I did not survive being tortured by Russians only to have you be flayed before I could even-” his voice broke, and before he could continue, he was rounding the corner to where Dustin was.
“Shit. Is she okay?”
“I don’t know. Billy - the mind flayer- how do we know if she? What if she was?” Steve tried, but his heart couldn’t even handle the idea of you being lost to him.
“She wasn’t flayed.”
“How do you know?” Steve asked reluctant to be relieved.
“The hive mind is activated, she would be awake and trying to kill us if she was,” Dustin explained.
“Then why isn’t she waking up?”
“I don’t know Steve, but we have bigger problems right now,” he said gesturing to the fact that they were almost out of Fireworks.
Steve hesitantly left your side to help the others and watched in absolute shock as Billy sacrificed himself. It was only moments later that the mind flayer collapsed. It was over. Jonathan hugged Nancy, Mike went to Eleven, Lucas held Max as she cried, and both Steve and Dustin turned towards you.
“Y/n wake up!” Steve tried shaking your shoulders. He lowered his head to your chest to hear your heart beating and feel your breathing, “Y/n, c’mon, I need you to wake up,” he tried again, sounding more desperate.
Before he could continue, the FBI came running in and they were all escorted out. Steve barely managed to convince the EMT to let him ride with you. He was stuck in the waiting room for what seemed like forever, shrugging off the nurses who offered to check out his injuries. Dustin, Mike, Nancy, and Jonathon came in, gathering in silence waiting for any news. The worst part for Steve was when your mother showed up, he had never felt more guilty than when he lied to her about what happened.
Eventually, the doctor came out with a flustered look on his face. He asked for your mom, and Steve quickly stood to join them. The doctor protested, but your mom assured him that Steve should come with her.
“So, I don’t know how to tell you this, but as far as we can tell there is nothing physically wrong with your daughter. She is seemingly in a coma with no cause. As such, there is nothing medically we can do other than sustain her condition if you choose to do so,” he then turned to Steve, “Can you run me through what happened again?” Steve managed to recount his story, trying to ignore your mother's sobs. As soon as he finished, he exited the room in shock, he sunk down to the floor, struggling to breathe, replaying the doctor's words over and over again in his head. His chest was filled with immense pain at the thought of losing you.
He sat there a while trying to calm himself down before forcing himself off the wall and back to the waiting room, where Will, Mrs. Byers, and Eleven had joined the others. All eyes went to him expectantly, but with one look at him Dustin said what they were all thinking, “Shit..."
Steve repeated what the doctor had said, Nancy pulled him into a comforting hug. While the others started brainstorming. There was an hour of outrageous theories until finally, Will realized something, “She wasn’t completely flayed, but the process was definitely initiated.”
“Obviously,” Dustin chimed in.
“But what is flaying? It’s like your identity being ripped away from you and replaced with the host mentality,” Will continued.
“So maybe Y/n’s soul or whatever was separated. Nothing medically wrong with her, because that’s not a physical connection” Mike added.
“So in other words, we have to jumpstart the connection again,” Lucas agreed, and then all eyes shifted to El.
“Do you think you could try to find her? Like you did Billy or Heather?” Mike asked.
“I can try,” El nodded.
Dustin walked over to where Steve was laying with his head in Mrs. Byers' lap. She ran her fingers through his hair like she had for her sons so many times, mind wandering to Hopper. Steve looked so broke, like he had given up any hope.
“We need to get into Y/n’s room, we think we know how to fix her,” Dustin announced.
It was like that swiped a switch in Steve, and he popped up at once, “What do you mean?”
Dustin explained everything to Steve and Mrs. Byers, and then again in layman's terms. From there the whole group formed a plan. Mrs. Byers and Nancy would go distract your mom. Dustin, Mike, and Will would distract the nurses. Steve and El would sneak into your room, while Jonathon kept watch. For once, everything went smoothly.
El was searching the cabinets for something to cover her eyes with, and Steve handed her the red ascot from his Scoops uniform. She went to your side and took your hand, instantly being transported into your consciousness.
It was dark, unlike anything she had ever experienced before. Every step she took was echoing, the entire reality was glitching in and out, but there was no sign of you.
“Y/n?” she called out.
The blackness would flash to a scene of you and then back to the nothingness, “Y/n, can you hear me?” El tried again, “I need you to focus on my voice, and I can bring you back. I’ll bring you back home, back to Steve.”
At the mention of Steve, the glitching stopped and El could see you know for the first time, you laid on the ground folded into yourself. You were pale and shaking, looking only a moment away from death. As she got closer she could hear you softly repeating, “Please don't, I'm sorry.” There was no indication that you knew she was there. She touched you lightly on the shoulder, but it didn’t phase you.
“Y/n? We need to get out of here, I need your help,” she tried, again receiving no response. The glitching started again, each time putting more and more distance between the two of you. El knew that you wouldn’t survive it much longer.
In the hospital room, Steve watched as blood trickled down Eleven’s face. He didn’t know why it was taking so long. He tried to get an idea of what was happening through the one-sided conversation that he was hearing, but even that was being drowned out by his fear of losing you, What if this didn’t work? The lights started flickering, the machines in the room going nuts, and then suddenly Eleven called his name, “I need you to talk to her, to bring her back.”
“What does that even mean?”
“Steve, we don't have time, just talk to her!”
“Okay….Uhm...Y/n? It’s Steve. Your boyfriend,” he started, feeling extremely uncomfortable, before his emotions took over. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t there to protect you. I’m here now though, and I need you to come back to me. I need you to wake up, cause you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I don’t want to lose you. Not now, not ever. Please Y/n. I love you so much, please wake up." As he finished, everything went black, the entire hospital lost power.
In your head, every nightmare you had ever had was playing through your mind. You were cold and afraid, feeling lost beyond anything you have ever felt. Whatever was happening to you it was killing you, you could feel it draining you. A strange numbness started to overtake you. You weren’t giving up, you were running out of fight. Just as you were trying to prepare yourself for whatever would come next, you heard a familiar voice, “Okay….Uhm...Y/n? It’s Steve. Your boyfriend.” Hearing his voice made everything stop. A warmth filled you, and you forced your eyes open, seeing Eleven.
"El?" you asked weakly.
“You’re going to be fine, I’m here,” she reassured, moving towards you and taking your hand.
The next thing you remember was hearing Steve’s voice, “Are you okay?” he asked, you forced your eyes open to see who he was talking to.
“I’ll be fine,” Eleven reassured him, wiping her nose.
“Everything was going crazy in here and then the power went out...Is she okay now?"
Suddenly Eleven’s face lit up, “Why don’t you ask her yourself?”
You had never seen Steve turn around so quickly in his life, a wide smile on his face as he practically dove onto your bed holding you like his life depended on it. “Nice to see you too,” you laughed. God did he love that laugh, and that smile, and you.
“I am so glad that you are okay,” he sighed, allowing himself to relax a little for the first time since he had found out about the Russian code from Dustin.
“Are you okay?” you asked running your finger lightly across his cheek. His eye was swollen and undoubtedly painful. His lip was busted and his nose was also bruised and swollen. In other words, he looked like he got into a fight with his hands tied behind his back.
He put his hand over yours and pulled it down to his chest over his heart as he had done so many times before, “It’s worse than it looks, I promise. I’m just glad you're okay.”
You were going to ask him what happened but were interrupted by the kids coming in excitedly. They were vividly telling you everything that happened after you were “Semi-flayed” as Will had coined it. You listened to every word, happy to know that it was all over. Their commotion gained the attention of the nurse, who proceeded to kick everyone out. Well, everyone but Steve who was practically glued to your side.
She went back to find the doctor and notify your mother, promising to bring back the ice that you requested for Steve’s eye. There were more happy reunions, followed by another round of tests, and finally, you were discharged. Joyce took Will, Jonathan, Dustin, and Lucas home. Nancy took Mike and Eleven back to her house. Your mom went back to your house and you went with Steve to his.
You both were exhausted but found it hard to sleep.
“What happens now?” you asked innocently.
“What do you mean?”
“How do we move forward from this? I mean nothing can ever really be the same can it?”
Steve thought for a moment, “I think we grieve and heal, then we start looking for the little victories again until this is nothing more than a memory.”
You nodded, “I love you, Steve Harrington,” you spoke softly.
You missed the grin that spread across his face before he kissed your forehead, “I love you too.”
You laid like that for a while, it didn’t take Steve long to fall asleep. You thought about what he said. Tomorrow would be hard, and the day after that too, but eventually your life would become some type of normal again. You shifted to look at his face, careful not to wake him. You felt a sense of relief, knowing that as long as the two of you had each other, you could work through the rest.
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peachycoreroo · 3 years
Text
angel | kuroo tetsurou
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summary: the only thing that came to mind when you heard the word angel, was your crushes ex girlfriend. so what do you do when suddenly you’re the angel or how a book can bring two people together
pairing: college!kuroo tetsurou x fem!reader
genre: smut, a lotta plot tho, basically pwp
word count: 7.9k
warnings: dom!kuroo, fingering, oral fem! receiving, praise, both being extremly needy, it’s not really kinky, slight breeding kink tho, a few spanks, vaginal penetration
authors note: pls don’t even ask about the book thing, this entire thing is based of one of my dreams and i had no idea why the book appeared, but it did and i didn’t wanna leave it out soooo, ye<3 here’s a link to my masterlist
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you sighed, as you continued typing your essay. maybe coming to the coffee shop was not the best idea you had, since it was friday and apparently every college student on campus decided it was coffee time after their lecture, but you didn’t expect it to be so overflown with people.
sitting at the far back, you realized that you were not going to get any work done with how loud everyone around you was being, so you just sat back and observed the people around you, while drinking the cheap coffee you ordered earlier. observing and analyzing the behavior of those around you always came natural to you. some guy watching his girlfriend as she was deciding what to order, even though she was taking way too long, with love. a friend group of a few pretty girls walking past a table full of sexist pigs who thought the only way to get their attention was by whistling after them as if they were dogs.  and your crush looking at you.
wait.
huh?
quickly averting your eyes back to your laptop, you could feel your heart rate pick up to an unnatural speed. pretending to suddenly be terribly busy with drinking coffee, a million thoughts ran through your head. you were quite positive that you’ve seen his girlfriend sitting right next to him, so why was he staring so intensely at you?
it’s not as if you never talked. kuroo tetsurou was easily the most interesting person you have ever had the pleasure of having intellectual conversations with. you were taking some business classes in your third semester, since you thought they would be of value for your future. that’s where you met him. kuroo sat next to you since the first day of the lecture but you were way too intimidated by his attractiveness to start the first real conversation beyond greetings, so when the opportunity had arisen, you snatched it right away.
after one of the lectures, he left his phone on the desk and since he was already gone, you took it and hurried after him. just as he was leaving through the huge main doors of your university, you caught up to him and grabbed his arm. embarrassingly, not being the most athletic made you look like a creep as kuroo directed his confused stare at your form, hunched over, breathing hard but still latching onto his arm.
“uh, hi? y/n, right?”, the tall boys’ confusion lightly seeped into his questioning tone as his eyes moved between you and the hand you used to hold him back from walking further.
taking one last deep breath, you forced yourself to stand up right and look into his eyes, but oh, what mistake that was. funnily enough, you never actually looked directly into his eyes, so you didn’t expect to suddenly have to divert all your focus on trying to keep the gasp, you wanted to let out, in your throat. in your memories, from the milliseconds you had the courage to look into his eyes when he greeted you, his eyes were brown but all at once you were confronted with the most beautiful hazel eyes you have ever seen.
as a consequence of having to put all your mental capacity on not gasping out loud or even worse, admitting how attractive he was, the words that came out of your mouth only furthered your embarrassment.
“you. phone. lecture. forgot”, you stumbled over your words as if that were your first attempt at communicating.
feeling your already hot face burn brighter as tetsurous confusion further solidified on his handsome face, you only hoped he thought the running was responsible for you looking like a sweaty mess.
you forced yourself to let out a short laugh as you broke eye contact to gain back your composure. “sorry, I didn’t expect the running to get to me that bad. maybe lev is right, I should try some aerobics with him”, starting to mumble towards the end, you shook your head. “anyway, you forgot your phone on the table in our lecture just now. i didn’t want to hold onto it till thursday and didn’t know where else to find you, so i ran after you. m’ sorry if I kinda freaked you out”, you quickly added while holding out his phone to him.
as you never really talked to the tall man before, your head snapped up to look at him when you heard his deep chuckle. was there something that’s not attractive about this man?
taking the phone from your hands, you were finally able to experience the first full sentence kuroo tetsurou ever directed at you. “well, thanks. i definitely didn’t wanna be without a phone two whole days, so i appreciate you running after me with such determination”, he remarked, as he observed how out of breath you still were, grinning.
“oh god, you know, never doing anything nice for you ever again sounds good right about now”, you groaned, lifting a hand in front of your face to stop him from studying your slightly damp face.
nothing on this green-blue-brown floating rock in space that is also known as the earth, could have prepared you for what you were witnessing next. with your mouth slightly ajar, you looked at tetsurou as he leaned over, clutching his stomach, while letting out the funniest laugh you have ever heard in your life.
in your mind, you saw a quick flash of a scene from ‘the lion king’, in which one of the hyenas was laughing exactly like that. you briefly wondered whether kuroo was influenced by that scene as a kid before you couldn’t keep your laugh in anymore after the initial shock subdued.
“my apologies, the situation was just way too perfect for me to not tease you. i’d be honored if you’d grace me with your kindness again, my highness”, he slightly bowed while, once again, flashing you that sly smirk that made you wanna punch and make out with him at the same time.
you tried to match his energy as best as you could with your head jumbled from the proximity to the man you have been sitting next to every tuesday and thursday from 10 a.m. to 12 p.m., but looking back at the interaction, you couldn’t wrap your head around tetsurou wanting to continue talking to you after that conversation.
“i’ll consider it, peasant.”
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after that, you and your smart seatmate talked a lot more. you found out that he was majoring in sports management and minoring in chemistry even though it was so different from management, just because he liked it. lev, your best friend at college since the first day when he didn’t see you from his 6’5” point of view and knocked you over as you were looking at the menu in the very coffee shop you were currently sitting in, turned out to be one of kuroo’s old friends from high school. which let you to find out the most unfortunate information about kuroo tetsurou thus far.
as you were walking to your next lecture with the dark-haired man, lev joined in with a tall, blonde, and gorgeous woman by his side. you immediately recognized alisa, lev’s sister. even though the silver-haired boy was ginormous, he couldn’t hold his liquor very well, which resulted in you having to drag the giraffe of a human home after a party quite a few times. there, you met alisa.
wanting to go in for a hug with the beautiful blonde, you froze at once as you tried to process what you were seeing. tetsurou had an arm wrapped around her petite waist, the other one placed on her sharp jaw, as he softly pecked her lips.
lev excitedly started telling you about a new side job he got as a model and while you supported him with your whole heart and were genuinely proud of him for landing that job, you could only zero in on the sight in front of you. your eyes hyper focused on the way his large hands were gently grabbing her waist, your ears on the soft ‘how was your day?’ and flirty ‘better, now that you’re here’ exchanged.
putting on your best poker face and directing your attention to the excited titan beside you, your own reaction startled you. even more surprising was who you were jealous of. you did have a small crush on alisa at the start, who wouldn’t? she’s tall, beautiful, fun, loving, caring, alas she was way too similar to lev to develop a full-on crush on her. then, it dawned on you, that the one you were jealous of, was not tetsurou, but in fact, alisa.
of course, you thought your seatmate was attractive from the first moment you saw him, but how you managed to develop a crush on him without even realizing it, was beyond you. ugly, jealous thoughts made their way into your head about one of the most loveable people you met. those disgusting thoughts slithered their hands around your throat, trying to suffocate you and so you buried that small crush in the back of your mind.
after that encounter you kept your distance to the handsome male. it was better for you, your sanity and everyone involved. in no way were you ever going to go between a loving relationship because of your own selfish feelings.
for crying out loud, you didn’t even know kuroo that well while alisa was like a sister to you. however, you weren’t able to tune out the insecure voices in your head. of course, he liked tall, model-like women who resembled angels not only physically but also with their personality. who were you to compare yourself to her? not even you yourself liked who you were, so why would one of the most attractive guys you ever saw?
you deserved someone good, but alisa deserved the world, so you just wished that tetsurou was the best for her.
and while kuroo tetsurou was a lot of things, he wasn’t ignorant, so when you decided to sit down in another seat in the lecture a few times or made up some excuses as to why he couldn’t walk with you to your next seminar, he knew something was wrong.
which brings you back to right now, with you staring at your laptop, hoping that the boy you’ve been trying to avoid wouldn’t come over to check on you. alas, your luck was apparently all spent, because you could see a tall, dark figure drop themselves on the bench in front of you.
“y/n.”
at the low tone of his voice calling your name, you lifted your gaze from your laptop to look at the boy you were trying to stay clear of.
“hmm? oh, hey tetsurou. didn’t see you there.” bullshit, he thought.
“yeah, ’m here with alisa. just a quick break before she has her next lecture.” while saying that, kuroo focused on your expression, trying to gauge your emotions and maybe get a hint on why you were actively keeping him at arm’s length.
after taking a swift look in the direction the happy couple was sitting just a few minutes ago, you nodded and kept your eyes on your coffee.
“that’s nice, you should probably go back now though. don’t want you to waste precious date time”, you said cheerfully, but weren’t able to keep out the slightly bitter tone out of your voice. that’s exactly why you were trying to stay away from him. the sight of the merry couple only fueled your toxic thoughts about two people you cherished and even though you wished for them to be happy together, the insecurities deep inside you wouldn’t let you.
seeing the slight change in your voice and expression, kuroo cocked his head to the side. did he say the wrong thing?
“she’s already leaving, so i decided to catch up with you for a bit.”
fantastic.
“well,” you remarked while closing your laptop and starting to pack your things, “I also need to get going, was nice seeing you though.”
“i’ll walk you”, was in fact not what you wanted to hear. but the universe hated you for some reason. you looked back at him and waved your hand dismissingly, trying to speedily think of a reason why he couldn’t accompany you: “uh, you see, i, uh... i’m visiting my parents this weekend, so i’ll just take the train. ’m not going back to the dorms.”
even if kuroo would have been stupid and oblivious, which he was not, your hurried attempt at getting rid of him just confirmed all his suspicions. but the ex-captain wasn’t going to let you run away from him so easily.
“no problem, i’ll walk you to the train station. the field i practice volleyball in with lev and a few others is nearby. ‘was gonna head there anyway, let’s go.” this time, he didn’t let you enough time to object, so you were stuck grabbing your things and following him, regardless of what you wanted.
to your surprise, kuroo didn’t say a thing on the way to the train station. you expected him to force you into a whole debate about whether pluto was a planet or not, but he just stayed silent. was that a bit of your luck shining through, or was he angry?
not wanting to push your luck any longer, you stayed silent as well, as you waited for your train at the designated platform. guess you had to make a surprise visit to your hometown because of your little lie, but maybe that was exactly what you needed. some time away to clear your head.
but just as you got excited for the spontaneous trip, kuroo finally dropped what has been on his mind the whole walk or rather, the whole three weeks you’ve been running away from him as if he was on fire and you couldn’t wait to get away from him as far as possible.
“y/n. why are you avoiding me?”, he questioned, looking at the rails ahead, instead of you.
“w-what? i’m not, why would you think that?”, you quickly sputtered out, hardly able to convince yourself of your own lies.
tetsurou gave you a look of complete skepticism, quickly shutting down your protests. “don’t play dumb with me, ’m not stupid. i know you’re not sitting down way further in the back or running out of the lecture on accident. you’re doing this on purpose. even just a moment ago you didn’t want me to escort you. tell me why.”
luckily, the train arrived just on time, so you quickly hoped on with a fleeting 'see you next week' and hoped he would just assume you didn’t quite catch what he said because of the train.
he didn’t though. he knew that you heard him.
the short spontaneous weekend trip turned into you staying for almost two whole weeks because of a cold, so your mom wouldn’t let you return without someone taking care of you, not knowing you had some big news waiting for you once you got back.
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“we broke up.”
wou were currently in the library after returning to campus, trying to catch up on some lectures you missed, when alisa entered. together, you were walking around the english literature section, catching up when she dropped the bomb.
“wait, what? how? when? why? huh? what did he do?”, you asked dumbfounded, feeling bad about your two friends, who were so clearly in love, breaking up. but even more than that, you could feel disgust creep up your spine because deep down you knew you were sickly happy about the fact that kuroo was now single. what a shit fucking friend you were.
“relax”, alisa chuckled. “he didn’t do anything, we just kinda came to the agreement that we don’t love each other the same anymore. i felt like he was always distracted the last weeks we were together, always deep in thought, and i decided to concentrate on my graduation and career as a model. it was a great college relationship and i still care for him, we just… we broke up about a week ago.”
“well, as long as you’re both happy with the decision”, you sighed while picking ‘pride and prejudice’ by jane austen from a bookshelf, not feeling like such a piece of shit for being lowkey happy about it anymore, but you still knew you two would never work. even if the breakup was mutually decided, tetsurou was still her ex.
hearing alisa giggle, you turned your gaze from the book in your hand and wondered: “huh? why are you laughing?” the tall blonde only grinned and continued her way down the aisle. completely confused, you followed her with the book still in hand.
“what the fuck? kinda acting sus not gonna lie.”
“wow, I thought you had better jokes than that y/n”, she teased, sitting down at a nearby table.
breathing out some air out of your nose in mock anger, you sat down beside her, tipping your non-existent fedora. “sorry i’m not up to your comedy standards, m’lady.”
alisa laughed loudly before noticing the book you were still holding, her laughter turning into a knowing grin. once again, you shot her a confused look: “what is it with you today? your mood swings are confusing the shit outta me.”
“you know, that’s like one of tetsu’s favorite books.”
“what? 'pride and prejudice'?”, you inquired, puzzled. why was she telling you this? “are you like, having some post-breakup nostalgia or?”
she laughed once again, waving her manicured hand dismissingly and shaking her head: “it just kinda popped into my head. i never read it, but he once wanted to read it to me. it did not end well; i couldn’t take it seriously and had to laugh the whole time. he just gave up and sulked for the rest of the evening.”
“yep, definitely pbn”. the girl shoved your shoulder slightly while snickering before taking out her laptop and working on something, leaving you alone with your conflicted thoughts.
as fate would have it, you didn’t really talk to kuroo for the last two weeks of lectures. finals were catching up and you had a lot of exams, leaving you with no time to catch up with the tall boy. plus, you were still trying to avoid him. you weren’t about to give into temptation and try your luck with alisa’s ex, which was much easier if said temptation didn’t walk around looking fine directly in front of you.
but with the weekend starting, you agreed to go to a party with the haiba siblings to treat yourself to a break from typing essay after essay. it was obvious that kuroo would also be there and this time, you wouldn’t be able to avoid him. the running had finally caught up to you.
before the party, you decided to go to the library to work on one of your essays, but with how much work there was left, you simply forgot the time. at 10 p.m., your phone rang.
“hello?”
“girl? why aren’t you here yet? and why aren’t you answering our messages? we texted you like a million times”, levs’ questioning voice echoed through the speaker.
quickly checking the time and number of messages you got, you gasped: “oh god, so sorry! i was at the library working on my shitty marketing essay! ’m gonna be right there!”
ending the phone call, you quickly gathered your things and rushed to your dorms. stripping on the way to the bathroom in your one room apartment, you hopped into the shower, feeling as if you were trying to break the world record for the fastest shower known to men.
as you were stepping out of the shower a few minutes later, someone knocked at your door, startling you. did the haiba siblings come to pick you up? with a hasty ‘’m coming’, you hurried to the door in only a towel.
“hey, I just got out of the shower, I just need…” faltering in your sentence, you gripped your towel tighter, trying not to freak out. because there were no alisa and lev in sight. just kuroo tetsurou. while you were standing there. with only a towel on. fuck. “that’s uh… you’re not alisa and lev.”
“er… n-no, no i’m not”, kuroo stuttered out, at least having the decency to avert his eyes to the ceiling, realizing what you had or rather had not on after checking you out. collecting your composure, you shot him a tight-lipped smile and stepped aside to let him in.
“come in, I just need to get dressed and do my makeup. you can wait inside.”
walking past you, the dark-haired man pretended to scratch his head to hide his red ears and quickly surveyed your room. “that’s…”, breaking off his sentence instantly when his voice cracked, he cleared his throat before trying again. “nice room.”
while kuroo tried not to have a mental breakdown and remember what he came here for, you picked up your disregarded clothes from earlier of the floor, being mindful of not to flash the man, and made your way to your wardrobe, chucking in your dirty laundry and scanning your variety of clothes to pick out the most flattering outfit for the party. “uh, yeah, thanks. so, uh, what did you want? ee would’ve seen each other at the party later anyway.”
but there was no answer, making you frown. just as you wanted to turn around, calling his name in confusion, you felt a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around your waist loosely, causing you to choke out his name.
kuroo leaned his head down towards your neck, slowly inhaling the scent of your strawberry bodywash before sighing contently. his soft, plump lips slowly trailed up to your ear, creating goosebumps on their way, before lowly murmuring: “you smell delicious. i could eat you up.”
you could feel yourself shiver at the low timbre of his voice and the indication of his words, as your heart rate picked up to the point you had the feeling as though you were going to die right then and there. how did his demeanor change so suddenly? it seemed as if you were in a room with a completely different person.
the ex-captain smugly grinned as he felt your breath quicken and chest heave without him even doing much, tightening one arm around your waist, while his large hand on the other arm splayed itself on your stomach, slowly sliding down towards where you wanted him. “hm? can I do that baby?”
just as quickly as the thoughts of ‘stop, this is so wrong. what about alisa?’ appeared in your mind, they immediately disappeared with the sweet melody of kuroo calling you baby.
not being able to keep a little whine from slipping out at the pet name, you nodded, your cheeks unbearably hot. but that wasn’t enough for him. tetsurou wanted your verbal consent, even if his half-hard cock already slightly twitched at the small noise you let out without him even touching you properly, screaming at him to finally fuck you.
avoiding the area, you wanted him to touch the most, his hand grabbed your thigh, causing you to squeeze your legs together in search of relief. he tsked at your lack of words and lightly spanked your thigh before tightening his grip around the fat, earning him a surprised squeak from you. “no, use your big girl words baby. i want to hear it.”
the instant tetsurou startled you with the spank, you hurriedly grabbed onto his forearms, lightly digging your nails into the muscles. already, everything was getting too much. his smooth voice seducing you, his dominant touch jumbling up your brain, his urgent need to hear your consent, his pleasant scent of a mix of his cologne, mint and husk surrounding you. him, him, him. you wanted more. you needed more. the slick between your legs grew embarrassingly fast, smearing on the inside of your thighs, showing off kuroo’s effect on you evidently.
“please… please touch me tetsu', I need it”, you whimpered out impatiently, making him close his eyes to stop himself from cumming already, your needy voice going straight to his dick standing at full attention. and even though the menace in him wanted to tease you and hear you beg more; he knew that he didn’t have the willpower to deny himself of having you any longer.
as you felt the tall male finally place his hand underneath your towel and cup your pussy, your head rolled back onto his shoulder, giving him full access to your neck. while dragging his middle and index finger through your folds leisurely, his lips and tongue placed hungry kisses on your neck.
“fuck, angel, you’re soaking wet. Is that all because of me, hmm?”, he lowly murmured against your neck, while his fingers simultaneously slowly circled your clit. you couldn’t stop your eyes from lolling to the back of your head or the small whimper that left you, even though the ‘angel’ left a bitter taste in your mouth. as much as the pet name made your stomach all tingly, you always compared alisa to an angel, so it didn’t quite sit well to be called that by her own ex.
but as you felt his middle finger enter you, all thoughts flew out of your head. The only thing on your mind were the raspy praises against your neck and his finger moving at a torturous pace inside you.
“please tetsu', more, I need more”, you complained whiny, because as much as it was all overwhelming, it also wasn’t enough. kuroo could only grin at your eagerness, but couldn’t blame you, since his own patience was speedily wearing thin.
with an uttered ‘everything for you angel’, he added his index finger into the mix, curling the two digits and, not wasting a moment, pumping them into you at a rapid pace, eliciting a quiet moan out of you. the ex-captain noted that you weren’t much of a moaner and mentally made it a challenge to have you crying for him by the end of the night. so, without much warning, his long, thick fingers started hammering against your g-spot while his thumb circled your clit at the same time, making you squeeze your eyes shut with your mouth opening in a silent scream, your hands searching for stability on the closet in front of you.
“c’mon, y/n, baby, i know you want it, fucking give it to me. ‘been fantasizing about this so long, just wanna make you feel good and fall apart for me. show me how much of a good girl you are.” his smooth voice flowed into your ear, seducing you to fully give into him. you felt as if you were being lured by satan himself and you were just a weak little human, not nearly strong enough to resist the whisper of the devil.
with a series of soft, high-pitched moans, you came on his fingers without any warning, your legs giving out at the intensity of it all. tetsurou only tightened his arm around your waist, picking you up without any trouble, making you clench around nothing at his display of effortless strength as he withdrew his fingers from your dripping hole. you thought you heard a small ‘good girl’, but you couldn’t tell for sure with the way you were still floating on cloud nine after he brought you to your orgasm that quickly.
panting and shivering at the goosebumps erupting, you lifted your gaze up at him as he placed you on your bed, only to find him already staring at you with low lids and completely black eyes, the beautiful hazel color of his eyes lost in all the lust and desire that took over his expression.
refusing to break eye-contact, kuroo lifted his with your essence-soaked fingers to his plush lips, wrapping them around the digits and sucking lewdly at them. once again, you felt yourself clench around nothing, rubbing your thighs against each other to get some relief, when you saw his eyes roll back as he tasted you.
the next thing you knew, your back hit the bed with the broad man lying between your spread legs, making you yelp. you could feel the atmosphere around tetsurou change once again. he was a lot more feral than he was before, as if his patience were running out.
his biceps wrapped around your plush thighs, holding you in place since the feeling of his breath against your cunt made your hips twitch up at their own accord, exposing the strong want you had for the man between your legs.
“’m gonna fucking wreck you angel”, he growled against your slit, before diving right in, licking and sucking messily at your clit, your pussy lips, everywhere he could reach. and as much as it shouldn’t feel pleasurable with him being as aggressive as he was, it felt fucking heavenly. you couldn’t help but arch your back, hands flying down to tangle in his messy rooster hair and tugging at the surprisingly soft strands, causing him to moan hoarsely against your sensitive pussy, the vibrations only egging you on. something about kuroo tetsurou losing his usual provocative, teasing demeanor as he ate you out felt so raw and animalistic, that it made your head spin and toes curl.
his large hand crept up your torso and he finally removed the towel that barely hid your breasts from him before palming one, drawing a content sigh out of you at the attention. but as much as he enjoyed listening to you whine and sigh because of the pleasure he was causing you, he wanted, no, needed to hear how much you wanted this, how much you wanted him.
“tell me how it feels angel, tell me how good it feels. ‘wanna hear your pretty voice, baby”, he huskily mumbled against your clit, making you arch your back at the delicious vibrations echoing through your core. but as much as you enjoyed hearing his dirty talk, you felt insecure about yours not turning him on.
preparing yourself mentally as good as you managed with the way he ate you out like a man starved, you allowed yourself a glance down only to see him expectantly observing you. the erotic sight only coaxed another high-pitched whine out of you, your head lolling back against your pillow.
at the next harsh suck on your sensitive bundle of nerves, your hips thrusted up against his skilled tongue and you finally gave in to your desire of wanting to tell him how good he was making you feel. only him.
“fuck, tetsu', d-don’t stop. feels so good, you feel so good, only you, please, please, please”, you needily moaned while grinding your hips up, simultaneously pushing his head deeper into your pussy and if kuroo had any self-control left, it was definitely gone now.
his toned biceps tightened around your thighs. his large hands squeezed your breast and hip harshly, leaving bruises for you to discover tomorrow. his able tongue messily switched between being shoved deep inside you and swirling your clit and you could feel the bed shake with how forceful he was humping the bed just from eating you out and hearing you talk like that. every little thing contributed to your orgasm washing over you like a tsunami. you were fairly sure you even blacked out for a few seconds because the next time you focused your attention back on tetsurou, he was frantically unbuttoning his jeans, with his shirt already off, whipping out his cock.
you felt your eyes widen as well as your pussy clench, you couldn’t remember the last time you were this horny, but you also weren’t sure how the fuck you were supposed to fit a cock this big and girthy inside you. meanwhile kuroo took off his boxers and contently sighed as he finally started stroking himself, giving himself some relief but it wasn’t enough. not by a long shot.
zoning in on your face once again - sweaty, low lidded eyes, blown out pupils- the impatient boy leaned down and kissed you for the first time that evening. after everything that just transpired between you two, the kiss definitely felt the most intimate, but it was also what you were craving the most from tetsurou for months now.
you didn’t know how to possibly express all the emotions you were currently overwhelmed with, so you tried to translate it all through the kiss. kissing back harder, all teeth and tongue, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer, pressing your thighs against his hips, hoping it was enough to convey what you wanted to say.
apparently, it was, because you could hear kuroo lowly growl against your lips before starting to dig his fingers into your hips and grind against you, finally letting you feel him where you needed him the most.
“n-not enough, tetsu'”, you eagerly whined, raising your hips, hoping it was enough to convince him to finally fuck you like you craved him to. but as thin as his patience was at the moment, kuroo tetsurou would not be kuroo tetsurou without his teasing antics.
he slyly grinned, pressing feather-light kisses down from your lips to your throat, making his way to your breasts, where he teasingly kitten-licked your nipples a few times, letting you think you were finally getting what you wanted before he raised his head and stared you down with his almost pitch-black eyes. “mmm, I know you can do better than that kitten”, he gruffly remarked while continuing to grind against you slowly, making you jerk and mewl every time you felt the head of his cock bump against your clit. “what do you want me to do, baby?”
how he still had it in him to tease and deny you, was beyond you, because you were on the edge of breaking down from how bad you wanted him. “’want you to fuck me, tetsu'”, you confidently said while gazing into his eyes, or at least, you tried to sound confident, but you were only able to whine and moan at this point.
kuroo closed his eyes and felt himself twitch against your pussy. you were going to be the death of him. sitting back up on his knees, he grabbed his cock and lined it up with your entrance, making you spread your legs automatically wider at the sight.
with one sharp snap of his hips, you both groaned simultaneously, your groan high-pitched, his low and guttural, at the feeling you’ve both been craving for. “fuck, you’re on birth control, right?”, he asked, straining himself as to not just start pounding you into oblivion or cum right on the spot.
“yes, shit”, you breathlessly answered, putting your hands against his toned abdomen as to let him know to wait, which only made him clench his abs at the feeling of your soft hands on his exposed skin. “j-just give me a sec, need a moment”, you murmured avoiding eye contact, suddenly shy at the fact that you were just lying there with kuroo balls deep inside you.
sensing your mood shift, the tall male grinned his cheshire-grin at you and teasingly remarked: “why? am i too big for you, huh?”, hoping it’d make you laugh and relax a bit, soon realizing that the idea completely back-fired on him.
as you started to laugh at his arrogant remark, hitting his abs slightly and telling him to shut up, your core clenched in-sync with your laughter, making you freeze at the sudden loud, almost pornographic moan escaping tetsurou’s lips.
looking up at him, you finally realized how much he was holding back as to not hurt you or make you uncomfortable. the handsome boys’ wild hair was already sticking to the sweat forming on his forehead, his jaw clenched painfully, nostrils flaring, eyebrows furrowed, biceps bulging with how hard he was gripping the sheets beside your hips to restrain himself. the thought of him wanting to fuck you so bad but holding back for your pleasure and well-being, was enough to make you clench down on him again, rolling your hips up against his and declaring: “’m ready, tetsu'. please, f-fuck me”.
with your words and the grinding of your hips, kuroo really couldn’t hold back the little stutter his hips did against yours but fuck, was he embarrassed by it. he felt like a teenager, touching real boobs for the first time all over again, knowing he wouldn’t last long. not with how long he had fantasized about this and with how you reacted to his every move and touch, squeezing him so tight, he felt like he wouldn’t even be able to move.
“’m gonna break you”, and with those final words, his large, veiny hands gripped your hips in a bruising, vice grip, pulling out so only his tip was inside your messy, drooling cunt, before snapping right back in, making you choke on your breath at the impact.
as much as kuroo wanted to bust inside you right then and there, the strong urge to see you lose yourself on his cock while he ruined every other man for you was much more prominent. so, the ex-captain rutted in your pussy like his life depended on it, wanting your moans and mewls and whines to never stop. there was so much that was running through his head while being empty at the same time. the only thought was to bring you both to earth-shattering orgasms, but he also wanted to spit in your mouth, choke you, spank your thighs and ass till you wouldn’t be able to sit tomorrow. he wanted to come on your thighs, your tits, face, but he also wanted to breed you.
you two were definitely way too young for children but he couldn’t get the mental image of you, stuffed with his cum with it running down your legs out of his mind, only making it harder for him not to cum immediately.
but you weren’t doing better either. the pace that kuroo was fucking you at, had you seeing stars, riding you up higher on the bed with every thrust and your eyes rolling to the back of your head. you gripped the sheets, his hands, his forearms, your breasts, anything, to try to stabilize yourself as you approached your high embarrassingly fast without your clit even being touched.
just as the thought crossed your mind, you felt tetsus’ calloused fingertips, from years of playing volleyball, circle your clit, causing you to throw your head back with your lips open in a silent scream.
“fuck, you’re so fucking tight kitten, so much better than i ever imagined. cum for me, wanna feel you cream on my fat cock, wanna see you lose your mind baby, give it to me”. at this point, he basically started rambling on about how hot and tight you were, how he wanted you to cum around his cock so badly, how you were gonna make him cum so hard, how you were making such a mess for him, what a good girl you were.
just as you felt yourself almost falling over the edge at the added stimulus to your clit and the filthy praises that were coming out of his mouth, you yanked the boy down by his arm, wrapping your arms around him firmly and kissing him so hard, you were sure you both would have bruised lips later.
with the new position and the intimacy of being pressed up against each other, one more thrust, and you were gone. cumming around his cock so hard, you couldn’t remember the last time someone made you cum that hard, if ever.
the pornographic moans of his name along with some ‘fuck’s and ‘so good’s, the jerking of your body against his and the vice-grip of your pussy on his dick as you came. it was all too much for the poor boy who didn’t even cum once the whole time, while you already had three orgasms under your belt. the last straw was your quiet, little ‘cum inside tetsu', want you to fill me up’ and so, a few short, sloppy thrusts later, kuroo buried his face in your neck, groaning loudly as he came inside, spurting hot, white cum against your abused walls.
the feeling of being filled up to the hilt by kuroo tetsurou was intoxicating. you whined, wrapping your legs around his hips, caging him in so he couldn’t pull out, not wanting the moment to end.
you both lied there, trying to catch your breath. as he pulled out after a few moments and got up to go grab a towel to clean you up, your hand caught his. “don’t go, where are you going?”, you whined needily, wanting to cuddle, to worn-out to care about the mess gushing out of your hole onto the bed sheets.
chuckling, the tall boy leaned down, kissing your forehead: “’m not going anywhere angel, I’m just gonna grab a towel and clean you up”. with that he retreated to the bathroom in search of a towel to use.
you, on the other hand, suddenly sobered up from your drunk-on-lust high at the pet name, making you realize what you just did. fuck, you just banged alisa’s ex-boyfriend. they weren’t even broken off for that long and you already betrayed her.
feeling like a bad friend and complete whore, you didn’t even register said ex-boyfriend was back, making you flinch at the sudden contact of your sensitive pussy with the wet, rough towel.
“relax baby, it’s just me”, he teasingly chuckled, while cleaning you up. when he didn’t hear you chuckle or bite back at his teasing, his expression morphed into a frown, lifting his gaze from your core to your face. “what’s wrong?”
“nothing, thanks.” but of course, you were lying. the panic that slowly settled in your chest was threatening to suffocate you. hell, you weren’t even able to look at him properly.
you felt kuroo grab your chin with his fingers gently, turning your head so you had to look at him. tetsurou was completely serious, he only hoped you weren’t regretting what just transpired between you two, as he repeated: “what’s. wrong?”, emphasizing those two words so you knew there was no point in lying.
feeling your eyes water up, you cursed yourself for showing weakness, since you weren’t one to cry often, especially in front of other people. “what are we going to tell alisa?”
that caught him off guard. “alisa?”, he repeated questioningly, as if he didn’t know what you meant. how could he not know? was he that stupid?
you sat up, rubbing at your eyes frantically with the rising anger inside your chest. “yeah, alisa. your ex. the one that’s like a sister to me. how am I supposed to look her in the eyes after what we just did?”
kuroo wasn’t stupid. you could vouch for that any day. you saw him in your lecture, and you had studied a lot with him, but right now, you were sure he was the dumbest person you ever knew, even beating lev. because even after explaining, he still only looked at you with a confused gaze, saying: “i don’t quite follow?”
groaning, you ran your hands through your hair in frustration, declaring: “you’re really smart, but you’re being so fucking dumb right now. how the fuck am I supposed to talk to one of my closest friends after I fucked her ex-boyfriend, who she loved by the way, not even that long after they broke up?”
finally, it clicked in kuroo’s brain. but the last thing you expected, was to hear him laugh. your head snapped up at the sound, glaring at him you almost growled: “what the fuck’s so funny, you fucking bedhead?”
“oh wow, throwing in the insults huh?”, he said between chuckles. “it’s funny because alisa was the one who encouraged me to come here tonight, though I don’t think she wanted us to outright fuck but, you know.”
what now?
“what do you mean she encouraged you to come here?”, you interrogated perplexed. suddenly he was acting all shy and sheepish, rubbing the back of his neck with his big hand, avoiding your eyes.
“well… we’re still friends, so we were talking about our lectures a week ago and she suddenly mentioned how you also were a fan of 'pride and rejudice'. i just… got kinda excited at that, since alisa wasn’t really interested in things like that, so i started asking her about it. she then called me out on my crush on you, saying she already knows why i was so distracted the weeks leading up to our break-up, thinking about you.”
while listening, your anger slowly morphed into nervousness at kuroo openly admitting he also had a crush on you, but you wanted him to finish his story before addressing the elephant in the room.
“i apologized immediately, thinking she was angry at me, but you know her. she was so sweet, saying she would only be happier if it worked out between us. after, she tried to set us up to talk to each other, but you avoided me like the plague, so she told me to come here before the party since you were running late, to confront you and settle it once and for all but uh…”, he sheepishly smiled, “i kinda got distracted when you opened the door in only a towel, so… that didn’t go as planned.”
sitting with your mouth agape in a ‘o’, your brain tried to process all the information, not knowing what to say to his confession and explanation.
“soooo… she’s not gonna hate me and cancel our friendship?”, you carefully pressed, just to be sure. “no, I don’t think she will”, he chortled.
“oh.”
with that, the room was suddenly extremely silent, making you and kuroo even more nervous. clearing his throat, he couldn’t take the silence anymore. “are you gonna give me an answer to my confession, or am I like, totally embarrassing myself right now?”
“uh, no, yeah”, you softly giggled at his obvious anxiousness. taking his face between your hands, you looked right into his hazel eyes in the dim lighting, before gently smiling at him.
“i like you too, nerd.”
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bonus:
the next morning, you woke up to your phone aggressively vibrating on your nightstand beside your bed. you blindly reached out, picking up the call without even opening your eyes, clearly still half-asleep.
“hello?”, you groggily asked your caller, wondering who the fuck was calling you this early, when lev’s voice filled your ear. “y/n? hey, we we’re worried about you yesterday. why didn’t you show up? it was so much fun”, the big, over-grown baby whined.
looking down at the reason you weren’t able to attend the party sleeping soundly with his head on your chest, you smiled, carding your fingers softly through his raven-black hair.
“just… reasons”.
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749 notes · View notes
buckys-black-dress · 3 years
Text
all the signs i don't read
a/n: guys!!! I'M OFFICIALLY DONE WITH MY FIRST YEAR OF UNI! i'm sooo happy to finally be done, i can focus on writing more for you guys this summer :) here's a lil somethin' i whipped up after my last final today. enjoy! xoxo, ali <3
wc: 2.5k words
[bucky barnes x fem!reader]
read part two here!
-
You never thought anything of it.
You never thought anything of it when every time someone would come into the room, Bucky would act like he couldn't stand being touched by you.
It was little things, at first.
You would be in the kitchen in the morning, making coffee for him and you. He would be holding you from behind, whispering sweet nothings in your ear. And then Steve, or someone else, would walk into the room.
And he would shake off your touch, like you were poison.
It never hurt less.
But it's not like you could ever make a scene out of it, or anything. Because nobody even knew you and Bucky had been dating for the past two months.
You had no one to turn to in this situation. No one knew you two were together, and you kind of messed this up for yourself when you agreed to all of this at the beginning of your relationship. Bucky had told you he wasn't really ready for PDA, and you had told him, in a haste, that it was fine.
But after two months of extremely close calls, your patience was wearing thin, and you know it sounds bad. But you've been extremely careful with him, always asking asking him if everything was okay before going further with anything involving physical touch. You always made sure you weren't crossing any boundaries, but it was starting to get frustrating.
You couldn't understand why Bucky could get all touchy-feely with Steve and Natasha when he felt like it, but was practically gagging at your touch.
You were currently cuddled up on his bed, watching a movie. You were on cloud nine, basking in the warmth of your boyfriend's touch. This was one of the rare instances where he would let you get this close. It was nice, and you made sure to always take advantage of it if the situation presented.
You could feel Bucky's gaze fixed upon you as the colors of the TV screen reflected onto your skin. Your eyes dip down to his, and a warm smile graces your face as your eyes meet.
You couldn't ever put into words how happy Bucky made you. You had liked him for so long before he even asked you out, and you were over the moon the day he had brought up wanting to take you out.
It was another night of dinner with just the two of you. Everyone else was on a mission, and since you two were the only ones left, you had decided to make the decision to make food for the both of you.
"James?" Your voice resounded through the empty kitchen and dining room.
"Yeah, honey?" He answered, painting your face red in a blush.
"Do you... just- nevermind." You shake your head, looking back down at your plate.
"Hey, look at me." He says, putting his hand over yours. "I was actually tryin' to figure out how to ask you this..."
Your brows are pulled together, wondering what he was talking about.
"Whatever it is, you can tell me, James." You reassure him. You were grateful that he was such a good friend to you, and that he trusted you enough to open up to you.
"I was wonderin'... would you like to... go out on a date with me sometime?" He asks, holding your gaze.
You're sure you look like a fish out of water right now, your mouth opening and closing in shock. He wanted to ask you out?
"I just... I like spending time with you, I like how you call me James, I like how you don't judge me and how long it's taken me to get comfortable here. I like how kind you are, and how you've always asked the others to be patient with me, so... would you like to go out on a date with me?" He held such hope in his eyes.
"I... I would love to, James." You reply after a moment of silence.
"I'm so happy you said yes." He smiles warmly. "But just... don't mention it to anyone? I don't want Steve or Sam on my case. You know how they can be sometimes." He smiles, and you nod at his request.
"Of course, James. I don't ever want to make you feel uncomfortable, we can go at your pace." Your tone was soft and understanding.
"Thanks, doll. You don't understand how much it means to me." Bucky returns your soft smile, and scoots his seat closer to yours.
His gaze was fixed on you, and while you were playing over the time in your head, Bucky leans in and pecks your lips gently.
"Hm, what're ya thinkin' of, honey?" He questions, sensing your mind was elsewhere.
"I was just thinking of that night when... when you first asked me on a date. How sweet you were." You smile coyly, leaning back in for another kiss.
Your stomach fluttered at Bucky's hum of approval at your actions. He deepened the kiss, motioning for you to fully sit on his lap. Bucky gently placed each of your legs on the sides of his thighs, his hands grasping your hips.
As he stared from your eyes to your lips, back up to your eyes, you felt lightheaded. This was the most intimate the two of you have gotten so far, and you feel the butterflies fluttering in your stomach.
Soon enough, your lips are back on his, moulding onto his like you two were made for each other. Although you two loved watching movies together in each others' rooms, (to avoid prying eyes, of course) you have never been so close to him before like this.
You felt yourself getting high on his affection, and once you had it, you didn't think you could ever go without it.
As Bucky's grip on you tightens, your hands move up to his shoulders, also moving to grasp them. Your hips move with a mind of their own, grinding against his lap.
You didn't think anything of it, but Bucky freezes at the action. His hands stop their gentle strokes along your sides. His lips pause their actions, and you feel him pulling away.
Both physically and emotionally.
"James, is everything alright?" You ask wearily, truly perplexed. Everything was going so well...
"I just... I can't do this, Y/N. I- I'm so sorry... I can't do this with you." He leans back, and limply moves his hands to flop onto the bed at his sides.
"O-Oh," Your voice breaks as you process his words. He didn't want you. This has all been a joke to him. Even in private, your touch made him uncomfortable.
"I... I have to go." You slide off Bucky's lap, gathering your belongings from the end of his bed and rushing out the door.
Without even a glance behind you, the door slams, and Bucky is sat dumbfounded on his bed. Why did I do that? He thinks to himself. Why did I say that to her?
As tears filled your eyes, you just pray that no one will see you. Unfortunately, your room was on another floor, and you think the stairwell would be the best option to avoid people at this point in time.
But of course, as fate has it, Steve is taking the stairs up. You can tell he's probably just returned from his nightly run, as he's sweating through his shirt.
You quickly wipe your eyes, hoping they look too puffy. Your nose was probably red, too, but just sniffle to clear it.
At the sound of your nose, Steve's head shoots up. Your eyes meet, and you plaster on possibly the fakest smile you've ever produced.
"Steve! How was your run?" You ask enthusiastically, trying to make it seem like you were just fine.
"Yeah, it was good. Took a bit of a longer route today. What are you doing here? You never take the stairs." He asks with a raised brow.
"I uh... I was watching a movie, and I had some snacks that were sitting a little heavy on my stomach. I thought a flight of stairs or two could do me some good." You shrug, trying to look as unsuspecting as possible.
"Are you sure you're alright? Your eyes seem a little red." Steve counters. He could feel that something was off.
"Y-Yup, I was watching a sad movie, you know how I get." You give a fake laugh, turning back around. "I have to head back, but good talk, Steve. Enjoy the rest of your night!" You practically yell while walking away from him.
The door of the stairs close behind you in a haste, and you take a moment to take a deep breath. You hated lying, but it's not like you could've said anything to Steve. He had no clue about anything having to do with you and Bucky.
While you locked yourself away to your room for the rest of the night, Bucky was still trying to process the events. How in the matter of a minute, he managed to shift your entire relationship. He was kicking himself, trying to figure out how to fix this. He couldn't seek out advice from Steve like he normally would in situation like this, or ask Natasha. Usually, she was the one to help him when it came to women these days.
But now, he was on his own.
And he was fucked.
So, he had two options.
One, go to Steve. Confess everything; dating you for the past two months, admit he was an idiot and didn't want anyone to know. Realize it would've been fine if everyone knew because everyone loved you. Try to win you back.
Or two, try to get you back on his own. And let's be honest, that option was not looking too good. Clearly, Bucky was clueless in this topic.
So now, he was left to stew.
That night, you drifted into a dreamless sleep with a heavy heart and a tear-soaked pillow.
-
The next few days were... rough, to say the least.
You could barely drag yourself out of bed. You would leave your warm blankets and pillows around eleven each day, which was unheard of for you. Natasha and Wanda would stop you on your way to the kitchen, and try to pry the problem out of you.
Sweetie, this isn't healthy for you.
Honey, just tell us what's wrong. We're here for you.
Y/N, we're worried about you. We love you, but you look horrible.
That last on made you crack a smile, but shook your head and headed in to make yourself a coffee.
For the first time in two months, you were only making coffee for you.
And fuck, was it killing you.
You so badly wanted someone to wrap you up in a hug, rub your back, and tell you it was okay. To tell you your touch was comforting, that they wanted to be close to you.
But of course, fairytales weren't real. You were alone again, and it seemed that it would stay that way for a long time.
No matter what you did, all you could hear in your head was James' words. I'm sorry, I can't do this with you. With you. With you. With you.
And you couldn't help but wonder. What was it about you that was so repulsive to him? You were understanding from the beginning. You just thought he wasn't ready for PDA, that he just wanted his privacy, you understood.
But what you didn't get was how James could have asked you out on a date, how he could've kissed you, for fuck's sake, and yet be so ashamed to be seen with you.
So you allowed yourself to only wallow for five days. You only gave yourself these next five days to feel sorry for yourself, whatever you needed to be pathetic for a few days, but that's it. After that, no more.
You were tired of feeling like you weren't good enough for anyone, like you were a burden. You were an amazing person, and if some people couldn't see that, it wasn't your problem.
You were done.
-
During your five days, you hadn't seen Bucky once. And of course, as your luck would have it, day two brought you your ex-boyfriend.
All in his glory, in the kitchen.
With not one, but two mugs of coffee.
His eyes meet yours, and you see a light in his. But you made sure you were quick to put that out.
"Do you need something, Bucky?" You all but sneer, and his soft smile drops.
"I just... I was about to bring you some coffee. Just how you like it, iced and black." He tries the smile again.
"No thank you, I'd rather make it myself." You turn your stare to the coffee machine, grabbing a capsule and sticking it in the machine before sliding it shut.
Bucky just stands there, dumbfounded. Again.
This seems to be a trend with you.
"Y/N, come on. Let's just sit down and talk about this. Let's go to your room, or maybe mine-" He begins, but you couldn't be bothered with him anymore.
"You know what, Bucky? No. If you want to talk, we can do it out here, for anyone to see. What are you afraid of? Me? Scared that someone will see you with me? God forbid, someone sees that you like me, right? God fucking forbid someone actually is proud-" your voice cracks in an ugly way, and even though you don't want to seem weak in front of him, you continue, "proud to be with me. I gave myself time. Time to understand why on Earth you seemed so... so disgusted to be with me. So ashamed.
And I got over. I am not going to let you make me feel like I'm anything less of a great person, and anyone would be lucky to have me. So screw you, and your secret relationships. I'm done."
By the end of your speech, tears had definitely made it down your cheeks, and your coffee was long forgotten as you turned to move out of the kitchen.
Bucky's eyes had widened at your words, realizing the weight of his mistake. He had made you feel so small, so repulsive and you thought all those things about yourself were true.
But they couldn't have been further from it.
Bucky loved you. He had only had you for two months, but in that short time, he was so hellbent on keeping you a secret. On showing the others that he wasn't weak, that he was still a big, tough guy. That he didn't need a girl to comfort him, or to help him through the nightmares.
But you were the best thing he ever had, and now you were slipping away.
But if Bucky is anything, he's a determined man. And he's determined on getting you back.
-
a/n: aw shit, what's gonna happen?? don't worry, i would never leave y'all hanging like this. part 2 will be coming shortly :) in the meantime, enjoy whatever this is. love, ali <3
read part two here!
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shinidamachu · 3 years
Note
ma’am the post u made about kagome taking over inu’s mind is a bit biased. although InuKag are obvious and endgame, the initial stages - esp where inu was avoiding her glance, were truly because of the remaining wounds / live he had for kikyou. which is that we saw in the next part of her resurrection. I think it’s nice to find inukag moments but I feel you’re trying to erase kikyou from the references and that’s not really an honest interpretation.
Thank you for being so polite.
Well... of course that post is biased! I don't remember ever selling myself as neutral. In fact, I don't think neutrality is something possible to achieve because it's human nature to be partial and anyone who says otherwise is lying to you.
I'm not trying to erase Kikyo from the references, even because I have no such power — no one does. It just turns out I'm mostly focused on Inuyasha and Kagome's relationship, to which in my opinion Kikyo plays no part besides being a point of conflict.
I firmly believe that Kagome didn't met Inuyasha because her soul belonged to Kikyo once upon a time, but rather that Kikyo met Inuyasha because her soul would one day be Kagome's.
The way I see it, Inuyasha was attracted to and fell in love with Kagome not because she is Kikyo's reincarnation, but because she is Kagome. And by the time he tried to kiss her, I just don't see how he would still see Kikyo in her when he had more than enough time to realize they could not be more different.
He would have loved Kagome even if she had nothing to do with Kikyo because the similarities they shared are not what piqued his interest. I'd even argue that the physical resemblance slowed the romantic process down, considering that the staged betrayal made Inuyasha build his walls even taller than they were when he met Kikyo — which makes Kagome managing to get his trust so quickly that much greater.
He fell for Kagome because she gave him true acceptance. She trusted him and made sure that he knew he could trust her in return. She gifted him with companionship, friendship and comfort without ulterior motives. She cried for him when no one else did. I really don't know what from any of these screams "Kikyo" to him.
I'm not denying she had a huge impact in his life, because how could she not? And I'm not denying he was still confused and wounded about what happened to her because that was quite obvious. But by the time he tries to kiss Kagome, he does so because of all the "Kagome" things she has been doing since they met, none of which reminded Kikyo's personality except archery. All there's left is the physical similarity and I don't take Inuyasha as that shallow of a character.
I also don't think Inuyasha and Kikyo ever truly loved one another, so that's probably the keypoint of our disagreement. To me, they were infatuated and more in love with the idealization they created of each other and the life they could have together than with their actual, real versions. And this definitely affects the way I perceive scenes like Inuyasha trying to kiss Kagome.
Especially because... as far as we know, Inuyasha never tried to kiss Kikyo in the manga. Canonically, their very first kiss was the one Kikyo layed on him in an attempt to drag him to hell. Their second and last one was the goodbye kiss.
So why has he never tried to kiss Kikyo before, but was going in for the kill with Kagome? And if he had tried to kiss Kikyo when they were in a relationship, why didn't she let him? Why hasn't he tried to kiss her all of those times they saw each other between the first kiss and the goodbye one?
Why has he never covered Kikyo with his Fire Rat Robe? Why has he never trusted Kikyo? Why has Kikyo never rode on his back? Why were they always so far away apart when together? Why has he never rested his head on her lap? Why did she never learn about his New Moon secret? Why did he rarely acted like a dog demon when she was around?
It's your God given right to think I'm wrong, but I do have my reasons to interpret things the way I do, the same way I'm sure you have your reasons to interpret things the way you do. Art is subjective and I think it's fair to say both points of view are valid.
I, myself, have read a considerable share of takes I found dihonest, such as "Inuyasha loved Kikyo more" and "Inuyasha settled for Kagome" and "Kagome is an annoying, abusive bitch." The difference is that I simply blocked those people so I wouldn't have to be exposed to their content.
Instead of coming to their inbox pointing out the supposed dishonesty of their interpretation, I just recognized that people are entitled to their own opinions and they're not always gonna align with mine. So I express my interpretations on my own blog, in the hopes that people who agree with me will appreciate it and people who don't will blissfully ignore it.
That's my advice for you, anon. If you feel like I'm trying to erase Kikyo from the references and that my interpretation is not really honest... maybe block me or the #Sid Reads Inuyasha tag and start creating your own content, vocalizing on your own space the interpretation you judge to be unbiased and honest. I promise there are no hard feelings from my part and you’d feel much happier.
That being said, I'm not really sure what you intended with this ask. What I do know is that I'm not going to change your mind and you're definitely not going to change mine, meaning I reserve the right to express my takes the way I see fit and I won't censure myself on my own blog just to make you happy. That would mean being dishonest with myself.
I understand if you feel annoyed, bothered or uncomfortable with some of my posts, but — and I genuinely say this in the nicest way possible — this does sound like a "you" problem.
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leviiattacks · 3 years
Text
Seven minutes in Heaven with Physics Major Levi
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author note :: i lost the ask but anon i do not know what this is. reading it sounded better in my head but physics major levi with reader who likes him is that a good description???? HM ANYWAY enjoy it’s not too great i’ve been revising nonstop for exams but i might as well have finished this off for the anon who requested it :-)
word count :: 2.5k probably... hm who knows maybe 3k
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when you and levi become friends it’s definitely unexpected to say the least. everyone is naturally very confused by the peculiar pairing. levi doesn’t really... go out of his way to befriend anyone really??? so for him to approach you in the middle of the library and start talking about how he noticed you shared a class together was out of the ordinary
the flow of the conversation is a little awkward at first, you’re revising for a final exam and don’t really appreciate the disruption but you’re not confident enough to tell him to leave.
at one point an awkward silence drifts between the two of you until he points out you’ve completely RUINED your notes and have been looking over the wrong lectures for the up and coming physics exam
later on into the night levi’s stood sighing next to you. he tells you to take your pick from the pot noodle section — “hey, i know we literally just met but i’m telling you a chicken pot noodle is gonna make you feel better.”
you’re so distraught that he has to pick it up for you and pay
and that is how you and levi become friends !!!
if it’s of any relevance yes you passed the final (all because of levi giving you his organised binder full of notes and telling you to make use of it)
you know it just sorta happens but through all of the all nighters you’ve pulled with levi by your side you become used to his presence nearby. in fact most of the the time it’s difficult to even find you anywhere without him. you’re both practically joined at the hip
levi’s pretty protective of you, hates the whole party scene but is willing to tag along if you’re going. at first you think it’s because he feels more comfortable stepping out of his comfort zone if you’re there with him but his intentions become more evident later on
any time someone makes you uncomfortable he’s by your side, if you happen to get into any sort of trouble he’s the person people call to help you because who else knows you the way levi does?
currently you and levi are at another party, you tend to keep to yourself and only ever talk to your close friends. it’s also not like you to partake in games, you’re far too nervous to play anything like seven minutes in heaven but for some reason you find yourself wanting to take part JUST this once
maybe it’s the fear of never making fun memories to tell your future children about
then again why on earth would you be telling your children about your experience kissing a random man in a closet??
either way, participating shouldn’t hurt!!! you’ve got to loosen up a little!!!
levi’s a little surprised you agree to play nevertheless he still sits next to you, the both of you have your legs crossed on the floor, your knees are touching and you aren’t sure if he feels the same warm sensation that you feel. it bubbles in the pit of your stomach – you feel oddly content
“levi!! anyone you want the bottle to land on ???” hange a mutual friend of yours leans in handing him the glass bottle
levi gives the bottle a disgusted look before his gaze flicks over to you.
“i’m only here because of y/n, i ‘m not playing.”
that doesn’t satisfy hange and they begin to groan complaining that he can’t stay unless he spins the bottle
“look you don’t have to do anything in the closet, okay??” hange’s begging him at this point, he’s still holding up pretty well and for some reason you’re disappointed. it’s almost like you hoped he’d spin the bottle just so it would land on you
levi takes notice of your frown and guesses you want him to be included, he isn’t one for games like these but if it’ll make you happy so be it. there’s still the chance it’ll land on you and his thought process falters for a second.
he thinks he really wouldn’t mind if the bottle landed on you and so he ends up nodding and agreeing to play.
anyway it’s not as if he isn’t guilty of imagining the two of you being a little more than friends
ok wait!!!! it’s completely innocent HE SWEARS!!!!
he’s never told you about it but sometimes he thinks if he was a little more straightforward that day at the library and asked for your number MAYBE just MAYBE his intentions would be clearer and he wouldn’t be stuck in the friend zone for this long
he should’ve used a stupid physics pick up line he knows you love those
something like – “i’m attracted to you more than an electron’s attracted to a proton.”
or maybe — “i’d fall for you even in the absence of gravity”
ok... maybe you wouldn’t have got that one considering you were revising the wrong content and probably forgot about that topic
he can’t imagine himself saying those things but if it would make you finally see him as a potential love interest and not a best friend he wouldn’t mind having to force it out
but still it’s not really a secret that levi has a soft spot for you, literally everyone can see it. when has he ever gone out of his way to save a seat for anyone? when has he ever willingly gone to a party? WHEN has levi actually let someone lay their head on his shoulder??
he only ever let’s you do that stuff
let’s actually discuss the head on his shoulder thing!!!
whenever finals approach you’re always sucked in by huge amounts of work and barely get to sleep, levi’s always hovering over your shoulder reminding you to catch a few hours but of course you don’t listen. you think you’ll be just fine if you rely on an energy drink and two hours of sleep to get by
but levi knows you better than you know yourself. it’s hour seven into the day and you’re already dozing off in your seat. slowly but gradually your head tilts forward. levi’s sitting across you contemplating whether or not he should prop your head back up like a nice friend would or if he should wait for you to smack your forehead right into the solid oak table.
he ends up making his decision last minute, your head flies towards the table and if it were anyone else he’d just let them jolt awake from the harsh impact but it’s you and his body won’t let him ignore you.
on reflex his hand flies out and in the matter of a split second he’s holding your head back. he’s surprised you haven’t woken up and he’s even more surprised he bothered to help you
before that happens levi knows he likes you, he knows he enjoys your company, he’s aware you make him happy but he thinks he’s willing to just be friends with you because clearly you don’t want to pursue anything.
you haven’t even flirted with him before aside from the witty “you remind me of an exothermic reaction” joke that you made one time
oh and there’s also the additional fact that you had a boyfriend up until quite recently so he’s sure you don’t see him romantically
honestly he’s fine with not dating you but something about seeing you overwork yourself like that has him simmering in anger. if he were your boyfriend he would have forced you into bed whether you liked it or not
if he were your boyfriend he’d never break up with you because he “found someone better.” he can’t even manage to imagine anyone better than you.
levi shuffles into the seat next to yours and places your head onto his shoulder. a few students shoot him questioning looks but the deadly glare he sends back is enough to deter them from coming any closer
it’s a little funny actually, by the time you wake up you’re rubbing at your eyes, you don’t even notice how close levi is to you until his hot breath fans across your neck. it seems like he’s dozed off whilst trying to make notes on fluid dynamics
wait
levi. right. next. to. your. neck.
should you move????
no, he might wake up he barely sleeps and you don’t want to mess up his schedule even more
that day you choose to drift off back to sleep as if you never woke up to his breath against your neck.
“OHHHH LEVI LANDED ON Y/N????”
your head shoots up NOW you’ve completely been dragged away from your thoughts.
“lucky for you both. guess you won’t have to do anything and stand there for seven minutes. told ya levi there was nothing to worry about B-)”
hange without warning pulls you both up by your arms, you’ve yet to see levi’s reaction, you’re too stunned to have noticed his slack jaw or wide eyes
“HAVE FUN!”
and with that said and done you and levi are shoved into the cleaning closet
“well, i’m glad it landed on you. i won’t have to do anything.” levi seems happy as can be, you don’t really know why but it stings a little
he doesn’t even seem to stop for a second to wonder if you’d maybe want to do anything
are you just not his type ????
hange once told you levi liked organised people and well,, you’re anything but organised. you’d probably pass out from the work load of your physics lectures if not for levi always helping you out
scowling to yourself you try to ignore just how awkward the situation is until levi plops down on the floor in front of you
“you okay?” he asks looking genuinely concerned
“i- yeah i’m good.”
your eyes dart away trying to look at anything but him. you can’t deny he looks good today, you actually helped him slick his hair back - the entire time he complained about the hair gel feeling weird but he looks great and now you can’t even stare at him for more than a second
“i’m guessing you’d have preferred if the bottle landed on someone else.”
leaning forward without even noticing it you aggressively deny what he says. “NO!!! i like being stuck here with you.”
levi looks stunned by your outburst but nods “oh, did you feel pressured to join the game? we can leave if you want—”
“no, no i– you aren’t– oh god i mean, look. i can explain– do i need to explain???”
completely choking up in front of him and sputtering before slamming your lips shut and saying absolutely nothing is probably one of the most awkward things you’ve done in your ENTIRE existence
levi reaches out for your knee, something that’s usually seen as him being friendly only feels intimate tonight. his thumb strokes comforting circles into your skin. the situation doesn’t make it any better, essentially you’re meant to be making out with him right now
“is something bothering you?”
there it is again. that look. he only seems more concerned than before and you hate yourself for not even thinking about your friendship before you open your mouth.
“do you not want to kiss me because we’re best friends or is it something else?”
there it is. you’ve said it.
you see levi’s face contort from a mix of confusion to what looks like disgust then shock. screwing your eyes shut you know you’ve ruined everything now. he’s never going to speak to you, never going to approach you again. you’re mentally preparing for him to ditch you at this party right here right now
but then you notice his hand still steadily placed on your knee, he’s now stopped with the circles, his grip is bruising
“do you want me to kiss you?”
his question isn’t really expected, it helps you find the courage to look your best friend in the eye.
it’s pretty dark but you can still make out the familiar shadows of his face. the butterflies rush up from your stomach all the way to your throat.
mild regret fills you, usually his curtains obscure his piercing gaze but the way you’ve styled his hair gives him a better view of you, there’s nowhere for you to hide
not even stopping to think about the possibility of him teasing you right now, all you care about is telling him the truth. you’ve come all the way here you may as well finish off what you’ve started
“would you be mad if i said i’d like it if you did?”
levi doesn’t need any more confirmation than that, he swoops in yanking you by your waist. his knees are still pressed against the floor and so you find yourself leaning down into his mouth and craning your neck downwards
his chest is completely pressed against yours. the drumming of your heart is so loud you feel self conscious but levi’s soft lips moving against yours distract you from that
not even ten seconds in and you feel out of breathe but not in an overwhelming way. levi’s pace isn’t at all what you imagined it to be like. he’s soft and slow yet calloused and rough around the edges, some how he still manages to make the kiss sweet
his left hand leisurely travels to the small of your back, the other hand now caresses your cheek. his fingertips are anything but soft but the way he handles you is tender and endearingly delicate.
you smile into the kiss and almost instantly levi’s lips tug upwards too. his take on seven minutes in heaven is quite easily the most romantic thing you’ve been subjected to. instead of a passionate make out you’ve been given a honeyed introduction to a new side of him
the kiss ends much quicker than you anticipate, you open your mouth to whine and convince levi that the two of you should still have a solid minute left before hange returns but he presses his index finger against your lips
“later. i promise.” his voice is heavy and if his blushed cheeks are anything to go by he’s thoroughly enjoyed your session together
at his reassurance you comply and take the time to have a better look at him
his lips are wet – some of your lip gloss has clearly stuck to him. his hair isn’t as well styled as it was before, seeing him like this makes you feel a surge of confidence. you know you did that to him.
so... what is someone to do with a sudden boost in confidence?
hit your new possible love interest with a pick up line :-) !!!
“heyyy so i know the spring constant of my mattress, would you be interested in taking some data with me?”
slapping your shoulder lightly he’s yet to gain his composure back, levi’s genuinely out of breathe now trying to steady himself and your comment doesn’t do him any favours that’s for sure
“my god you have no sham–”
without warning the door to your left swings open you and levi flinch trying to scramble away from eachother only to fail, hange marches in before stopping dead in their tracks.
all they see is levi knelt in front of you, hair disheveled huffing like his life depends on it
then their focus shifts to you, you’re sure some of your makeup has smudged and the entire scenario looks suspicious
levi seems as if he’s about to warn hange to not tell anyone and keep this a secret for now but they sprint away before any of you have the opportunity to ask for some privacy
not even ten seconds later a collision can be heard alongside a series of thuds and then hange’s yelling towards the end of the hallway “GUYS??? THEY ACTUALLY DID IT???”
for some reason the cheers coming from the living room warm your heart
you guess your friends figured out the direction of your relationship long before you and levi did :-)
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alexiethymia · 3 years
Text
A Case Study on Vanitas’ Character: On Vanitas’ Two Conditions
Since they’re animating the What is Love? episode next (episode 7), I couldn’t help but want to talk about that chapter. [spoilers for anime-only watchers!]
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Vanitas has two conditions for Jeanne: 
1) She mustn’t drink blood from anyone else but him.
I admit that like Jeanne, it’s easy for me to fall into the trap of thinking Vanitas is a better guy than he is because of certain biases. Let’s admit it, this part was plain blackmail, and yet for some reason, with what we know of Vanitas now, there are also different ways of seeing this scene. 
Vanitas is ‘blackmailing’ Jeanne, but at the same time that blackmail is actually him also offering a solution to Jeanne’s problem. AND YET, HE DOES IT IN SUCH A WAY SO THAT JEANNE NEVER HAS TO FEEL LIKE SHE OWES HIM. More to the point, he does it in such a way to ensure that Jeanne continues hating him. In other words he, in his own twisted way, is doing a nice thing for Jeanne, while ensuring that she never likes him for it. Now I’m not saying it’s a purely altruistic thing, but I still think that Vanitas is drawn to Jeanne because she reminds him of himself back then. If so he knows precisely how to get her to receive help albeit through manipulative means. 
It’s not a purely altruistic thing. He states it so himself, what he gets out of it is the ‘divine feeling’ Jeanne sucking his blood gives to him again purposefully painting himself as a pervert so that Jeanne wouldn’t like him for helping her. But if we are to believe some theories that it’s not actually as enjoyable as he himself paints it out to be (I digress, but I think he’s being honest here. He strikes me as having a bit of a masochistic streak in him) (I digress from my digression, but theory time, what’s his bases of comparison?? Who besides Luna and Jeanne have drunk from him??), then there’s another dimension to his condition of ‘you must drink blood, only from me’. If he’s just in this for the feeling it gives him, then why word the condition that way? He’s never stricken me as possessive of Jeanne despite his words of ‘I want to possess all of you’, and as he’s stated, he doesn’t want Jeanne to love him back. I think this is just another case of his ‘use me’ mindset rearing its head again. He’s said it to Count Orlock, and we know that it started since his time with Dr. Moreau. It is definitely, definitely, unhealthy, and I believe it’s also coupled with his slight suicidal tendencies. If worst comes to worst and Jeanne ends up going out of control and killing him, he seems not to care. 
Going off tangent here, but another one of his contradictions is how ruthless he is at surviving and yet how careless he is with his life, especially when it comes to people caring for him. He’d rather be left in the snow than have Jeanne take care of him as repayment for him protecting her, or when he got angry at Noe for protecting him from Ruthven.
But at his core and as Luna stated, Vanitas is a kind child. It’s developed in an unhealthy way, but he’s quite self-sacrificial. It’s fine for Jeanne to use him so that Jeanne has a focus or outlet. At least when the craving for blood gets to be too much, Jeanne knows there’s someone she can drink from, which helps her so that she doesn’t lose control and lash out against Luca for example. And on Vanitas’ side, it seems like it’s fine for him to be put at risk so other people don’t have to be, and on Jeanne’s part too, it also helps her from further hating herself if she ends up hurting other people. 
In other words, his condition is both a selfish and selfless one, yet he paints it to be blackmail. It’s not an entirely good thing for him to do, because there’s definitely power play involved, but it’s also not as scummy as it is initially presented out to be with what we now know of his past. 
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2) For Jeanne to call him by ‘name’. 
There are so many things going on here that I just can’t help but ramble about it. Firstly, I’m really interested in how this’ll be translated in the anime. Did Vanitas say call me by ‘Vanitas’, or call me by ‘my name’? Because if it’s the latter, then couldn’t Vanitas also mean (although not fully consciously) that he wants someone to call him by his true name like Luna did before he inherited the name ‘Vanitas’? (And I will just die if in a future chapter, Jeanne and Noe do end up getting to call him by his original name).  
Second, there are slight parallels and contrasts with this arrangement he has with Jeanne and with the one he had back then with Moreau. Obviously Moreau is trash and took full advantage of ‘No. 69′. He exercised all the power. In this case, Jeanne is hesitant about hurting Vanitas despite how aggravating he is towards her. She doesn’t want to drink his blood at all. Moreau was a human. Jeanne is a vampire, and despite physically being superior towards Vanitas she changes her demand into a plea or request for Vanitas to keep her secret. (And whelp that’s when she sealed her fate, because she apparently triggered Vanitas. Don’t worry though Jeanne, you’ll get your payback soon enough). Vanitas was completely without power before, so faced with a similar situation this time around, I think part of him let the power get to his head, causing him to partly take advantage of Jeanne (he’s a complete sadist AND a masochist). He has complete agency this time around. Sure he’s once again offering himself with the expectation of pain and at the risk of his life, and he’s also doing this for another person, like with Misha, but unlike with Dr. Moreau, the power is on his side this time around. 
Going off tangent, that’s one thing that Vanitas and Jeanne have to work on. Balancing power and agency. I get where Vanitas is coming from, surrounded by vampires as he is, and with his past too, but he has to realize that caring about and loving someone isn’t a matter of power. You don’t lose when you love and care. You don’t surrender power. You don’t have to take away someone’s agency or exercise your own power for you to manage to do good things for the people you care about. He has to manage that balance - likewise with Jeanne, Noe, and Domi as well. 
Going back. Since he has full agency in this case, it’s his decision to offer himself to Jeanne in this way, he doesn’t want to be dehumanized while doing so. He’s had enough trauma about that already. Despite how he words it, it’s actually a somewhat equivalent exchange between Vanitas and Jeanne. He offers her blood as a way for her to keep her sanity, but she can’t be removed from it, she has to look at him properly and consider him a person with full agency and choices, and not just as ‘that human’. 
And looking at their faces - Jeanne’s is an incredulous one as if to say, ‘that’s it?’ It’s both an easy and difficult thing for her to do. Meanwhile, for Vanitas, I’d expected him to look goading, but he just looks patient and soft. At least in this instance, I don’t see it as him forcing Jeanne to do something she doesn’t want to do - just an unexpected moment of wanting to be known and treated as himself. 
LISTEN HE IS FULL OF CONTRADICTIONS OK. We’re led to believe that all of his interactions with Jeanne until the moment he realized he fell in love with her was just him teasing her, but I believe he was already in the process of falling in love with her slowly. I’ll go so far as to say that he was the one who fell in love first, but he just interpreted it as his being ‘excited’ by her. In other words, the words he said (’I love you’) which we thought was a lie was actually the truth, albeit a truth he didn’t realize much later. 
Why do I think so? It’s because he revealed certain moments of vulnerability or sincerity with her or about her without any of the teasing, as represented by the italicized dialogue. It’s the same case for when he said he didn’t want to trod on her foot with Noe, or when he happily grinned and he said forthright Jeanne was the side of her he liked best (or when he promised he’d kill her). 
This is just an example of his contradiction. He never wanted or expected Jeanne to fall in love with him, and sure this could just be his wanting to push boundaries or test limits, being the chaotic person that he is, and yet, wanting to be called by name is a desire to form a genuine connection. 
He could have just remained as ‘that human’ to Jeanne while interacting with her. After all, what could stop him? He also had the first condition in place to make sure they’d continue to interact. And yet, he refused (like how Noe refuses to be ‘that vampire’ to him). 
Like Luna said, as long as he didn’t close his heart, he wouldn’t be alone. Even if Vanitas thinks it burdensome or wants to be ‘free’, it seems that he still does long for connection - romantic, platonic, or otherwise. 
And this is why I ship them, even in this instance so early on in the manga when arguably the dynamic wasn’t at its healthiest. It’s because of their background that draws them to each other and allows them an understanding of one another. It’s because of that desire to know more about each other. It’s because of that genuine care and wanting to form a connection with each other, despite part of them rejecting it because of their issues.
Do I think they’re good for each other? Yes. Admittedly, they have so much to work on, but I believe that they push (Vanitas with regards to Jeanne’s blood addiction, and Jeanne with Vanitas in his moment of vulnerability) because the both of them tend to be self-destructive if left to their own devices. It’s just that their version of care for each other is aggressive. They’ll have to find that balance though eventually. On Vanitas’ part he also has to be inspired by Noe that the kind of salvation a person wants may not be the best possible outcome, especially for those left behind. I’m not sure what Mochizuki sensei’s end message is suppose to be, but death I don’t believe is salvation.   
tldr: Vanitas is a self-sacrificial idiot who longs for connections under layers of self-loathing (but he’s still an asshole), and VaniJeanne is a good ship which had the foundations laid down from the beginning. 
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trashcanfanfics · 3 years
Note
Hmm, Angel Dust with an S/o noble overlord who managed to break Angel's contract with Val and take him away from him. fluff mixed with a little nsfw :)
I'm gonna be honest, whenever I think about Angel, all I wanna do is get him tf out of Val's reach
Also, only slight nsfw because I'm not confident in my abilities to write a full on scene for that, I'm sorry :(
Angel had come home, covered in bite marks and his own blood again. You watched from the couch with your book in hand as he walked in through the front door. It worried you, that he would come home like this, broken and defeated.
"Welcome home, my love," you spoke softly as you rose up to go greet him, setting the book aside. He mumbled out a half assed greeting in response. As soon as you were close enough, you hugged him tightly. Angel wrapped both sets of arms around you and let out a shaky sigh. It sounded like he was ready to cry.
"Would you like a bath? I'll draw you one." You gently let go before you grabbed his lower left hand to lead him to the huge bathroom centered around a giant clawfooted tub. Refusing to let go of his hand, you turned the knob to start the water and waited for the right temperature before plugging the drain.
Once the tub was full, you stood, facing him and gently helped him take off his clothes. You barely grazed your hand across one of the marks, making him hiss in pain. This made your blood boil. You were sick of this. Angel coming home beaten, marked, and in despair. You won't stand for this anymore. He had begged you not to get involved, said that it'd be worse if you intervened. You helped him into the tub once he was fully undressed.
"Ya not gonna join me?" He asked in a small voice, he was tryng to sound playful but it came out sad, defeated. You smiled weakly and shook your head.
"No, I thought I'd just wash you tonight, if that's alright with you." You liked doing this after he came home like this, offering him a choice. Giving him the freedom to ask for what he wanted. There was a sneaking suspicion you had that said he just wanted to wash off and sleep. The bags under his eyes helped this theory.
"That sounds nice." He sank deeper into the tub as you turned the knob off and helped him clean the blood out of his fur. The gentle motions of running your hands in his soft hair was enough to let his shoulders droop in relaxation. Your mind drifted off while you cleaned him. You kissed his head, healing his wounds, a habit now.
Valentino will no longer hurt your beloved. You would not allow him to do this anymore. These past few weeks you've been researching and studying dealmaking. The processes, terms, and ways to look into loopholes. All you have to do is get your hands on the physical contract to see what you can find. If you couldn't find anything, you'd just set the contract on fire and hit Valentino before running away.
After Angel was fully clean, you grabbed his favorite embroidered towel and helped him out of the bath. Once again grabbing his hand, you lead him to your shared bedroom and helped him into the softest pajamas he owns. He laid down under the silky sheets on the plush mattress and snuggled into it. You changed into your own pajamas before snuggling in with him. Your fingers gently brushed through his hair as softly sang him to sleep. You ran your thumb across the slight purple under his eye, noting how exhausted he looked even in sleep.
~*~
You woke up to the early birdsong of the morning glory in your garden and gently disentangled yourself from Angel's many armsnd made your way over to the edge. There, you stood straight and rounded the bed quietly to place a soft kiss to his forehead. With one last glance, and a whispered "I love you", you turned off the light and left the room, down the hall, out the front door. You're going to pay that bastard a visit.
~*~
Angel woke up feeling better and less sore than he expected. He sat up and looked over to his loving partner's side of the bed only to frown. They weren't there. Getting up, he stretched and decided to look in the kitchen. Maybe they had gotten up already and were making breakfast, though they usually would have the staff take care of it. He didn't know why, they were an amazing cook and it was always a treat when you did make meals.
"S/o? Ya in here, babes?" He opened the door to see the cooks already making breakfast, one handed him a coffee when they passed by to get to some more ingredients, but you weren't there. They looked pretty busy, so he decided to take his cup and search elsewhere.
He checked the dining room, library, living room, their study, parlor, hell, even the garden (saying hi to Nuggets in his own little mansion on the way), but they weren't in any of those places! Where are they? He was getting worried now.
"Uh, excuse me, sire?" Angel looked to the speaker of the voice to see a small demon that reminded him slightly of Niffty. "My liege has left a note for you, sire." The demon handed him a small piece of paper, bowed, and then skittered off. Angel will never get used to the treatment here. He shook his head and focused on the paper.
"My dearest love, I will be out for a short while, but don't fret, I'll be home soon with a surprise and a gift. I love you very much, S/o." He read aloud. "Aren't gifts and surprises the same thing?" He decided to not worry about that and smiled as he imagined when you'd be back.
~*~
You entered your home tired and frazzled, but with a smile beaming with happiness. You had successfully gotten rid of the contract between Valentino and Angel. Now it was time to tell your lover and give him the gifts you bought him.
"My heart? I'm home!" You called into the foyer as you went deeper into the house. You checked the living room and parlor before you were wrapped up in an embrace of four arms.
"Babes! Where were ya? I woke up an' you were gone," he mumbled in your ear. You smiled and pat one of his arms to release you. He let go and you turned to face him, holding out all the gift bags you were carrying.
"S/o, what the fuck happened to you? You're bleeding!" At his exclaimation you look down to actually take yourself in and realize he's right. You were so caught up in finally setting him free and getting him gifts that you didn't notice the small cuts. Laughing, you wave your hand and fix yourself up with your abilities.
"So I was, thank you, lovely. Now, here!" You, once again, offer him the gift bags. He takes them in his lower set of hands and uses the upper set to hold your shoulders.
"We ain't gonna roll past that you were hurt, even if ya can heal them. Who did it?" There was murder in his eyes. Your gaze softened and you laughed softly.
"I was going to wait until you opened the gifts and ask 'what's the occasion?' But you seem so eager," you paused to reach up and hold his face in your hands, "Anthony Messina, you are no longer under contract with the overlord Valentino. You are a free man, my love." The expression on his face was nothing short of shock.
"What? Are you serious?" His eyes fill with tears as he breathes and realizes you're right. Angel wouldn't be able to feel Valentino's chains anymore. He was free. "I can't believe it." He lets out a laugh and the tears fall, ruining his make up. Angel lifts you up and kisses you hard.
"My star," you whispered when you parted. He kissed you again with more passion. Your hands travelled through his soft locks, relishing in the feeling.
"Caro mia." He kissed you again, longer this time. The bags fell from his lower arms which then made their way to your thighs, wrapping them around his waist.
"Shall we take this to the room, sweetling?" You asked when you separated again. Angel nodded vigorously and carried you, all the while kissing you.
In the room, you hear him kick the door closed and then lock the door with one of his arms. You continue to kiss and run your tongue along his bottom lip, asking for entrance, which he happily gives. Hands found their way to the other's clothes, ripping them off in urgency to feel each the naked bodies beneath.
You wiggled your half naked form from his arms and separated the kiss. Before he could complain, you grabbed his lower left hand and yanked him over to the bed, effortlessly throwing him onto it. You crawled on top of him and kissed him lovingly, caressing his face and then down his chest and finally resting on his hips, giving a small squeeze. Parting from his lips, you said a sentence that set his body on fire.
"I'm going to show you what a true claiming feels like."
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another-tmnt-writer · 4 years
Text
Truth or Dare?
Raphael x Reader
Author: Admin Mo
Summary: When Mikey needs another actor for his film project, Raph gets roped into it. He didn’t, however, expect for his costar to be so cool.
Note: There are not NEARLY enough college au fics for the bayverse boys, so have this as my first contribution. <3
Warnings: Swears, mentions of drinking, plenty of fluff
Word Count: 3.9k
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“Raph, PLEEEEEAAAASE!!!” Mikey folded his hands together, pleading. “We need actors for our project and our group members can’t be in it.”
Mikey, as part of his endeavor to explore every creative program at the university the turtles were currently attending, was taking a filmmaking class. And, as a part of that class, he and his fellow classmates were required to make short projects in order to learn the basics of filmmaking, from writing to directing to using the equipment to editing. As an added bonus because his professor was so especially cruel, none of the people in his group could appear in his project, and while they had managed to recruit some of their classmates to fill in the smaller roles, one of the main roles was still unclaimed.
Raph scoffed. “Mikey, you know I can’t act for shit.”
“You don’t have to actually be good at it!” He pleaded. “You should see some of the other projects. No one in the program is good at acting.”
Raph was quiet for a second, his large arms crossed in front of him, thinking. “How long is it gonna take?”
“Few hours.” Mikey shrugged. He raised an eyebrow. “And your costar is really, really hot.”
Raph sighed, disgruntled. “When?”
“YES! DUDE THANK YOU SO MUCH! YOU WON’T REGRET IT!” Mikey ran and returned with a script and a schedule, shoving it into his older brother’s hands. “We film tomorrow!”
Raph’s eyes widened. “TOMORROW?!”
***
Raph went with Mikey to where the rest of his group was meeting to film their project. He hadn’t really had time to look at the script and Mikey assured him that they’d be filming in small enough chunks that he wouldn’t need to have very much memorized at a time. He also didn’t really know what kind of movie it was and he didn’t care; he just couldn’t wait until it was over.
A few minutes after they arrived, so did his costar. And god, he couldn’t stop staring. Mikey was right. God, why was Mikey always right?
“I am so sorry I’m late. The bus almost hit a pedestrian and it was a whole thing.” You apologized.
“Don’t worry about it!” Mikey waved off your concern. “This is my brother, Raph.”
“Nice to meet you, Raph. I’m (Y/N).” You introduced, a warm smile on your face.
Raph didn’t miss the way your eyes lingered on him, but instead of the looks disdain he usually got, instead it seemed to be curiosity. Awe, even? Weird, he decided, but not unwelcome.
It was a long, awkward moment before he realized he’d better respond. “Oh, uh, nice to meet you too.”
“Um, you guys can get to know each other a little better. We’ve gotta get the equipment set up.” Mikey said, leaving the two of you on your own.
The filming location was a place you were very familiar with: the library. Particularly, in front of the cozy little coffee shop in the library.
“I didn’t really, uh, look at the script, but I’m guessing they needed a monster for a horror movie or something…” Raph flipped through the pages, skimming.
“It’s a rom com.” You corrected quietly. “I’m the main character. You’re the love interest.”
If Raph could physically blush, he was sure his cheeks would rival the color of his mask. “…Oh.”
“Is that alright?” You asked.
“Oh! Yeah, yeah it’s fine, I just…” He chuckled to himself. “I ain’t ever acted in anything before, let alone anything romantic.”
“It’s not too much, I don’t think.” You reassured him. “I’m pretty sure the most they’ll have us do is awkwardly brush hands. It’s a coffee shop meet-cute.”
“Gotcha.” And while he was relieved, he was also a little…disappointed? Huh. Weird. “So, uh, what’s yer major?”
“I’m a film major. I’m in Mikey’s class and they needed actors, so I’m paying it forward in case I need someone in my project. What’s yours?”
“I’m undecided. Just, uh, taking some time to figure things out, you know. I never really had any…school experience before this.”
“That’s a lot to adjust to.”
“Yeah, it is. I’m getting used to it, though.”
“That’s good! If you need any help with anything, let me know. I’ve picked up a bunch of good tips and tricks.”
He chuckled. “I will, thanks.”
“Do you have snapchat?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“One second.” You fished your phone out of your bag and unlocked it, opening the app to your snapcode, which he scanned and added you. “There you go.”
“Thanks.”
“Of course.”
Raph took some more time reading over the script to get the gist of the scene and you were right. Indeed, it was a rom com. Not his preferred genre, by any means, but maybe he’d warm up to it a bit over the course of the day.
“Hey (Y/N)?” Mikey called from over where they had the camera set up on the tripod. “Do you know how to white-balance this thing? Everything is orange for some reason. Which is a great color, but I’m sure Smith will dock us points for it.”
“Oh, I’ve got you.” You nodded. You looked up at Raph, your purse in hand. “Will you hold this for a second?”
“Uh, yeah. Sure.” He nodded, holding out a giant three-fingered hand to take the bag from you. He watched you walk over to where the rest of the group was standing, crowded around the camera. You worked your magic, shuffling through the menu and helping adjust the camera correctly. Raph couldn’t stop staring. You looked so focused. So passionate. He could tell you really liked film and everything it entailed and he wished he could just find something he cared about as much as you cared about your major.
“Awesome.” He heard Mikey say, his eyes fixed on the camera’s screen. “Thanks!”
“Of course!” You walked back over to where Raph was and he handed you your bag back. “Thank you.”
“Yeah, no problem.” He opened his mouth to say something else, but Mikey walked over to the two of you.
“You guys ready? I think we’re good to start now.”
“All set.” You confirmed, giving him a thumbs-up, and Raph nodded.
***
Raph might have to reconsider his stance on this acting thing. Did he think he was all that good at it? No. But so long as he had you as a costar, he’d act willingly in any project Mikey (or you) needed him for. And at the end of the shoot, he ended up having a really good time. So much so that when you guys were all done, he was…sad. Like, really sad about it.
You parted ways. You weren’t in any of his classes, so Raph wasn’t really sure if he’d see you around that much. And he didn’t see you around…until a few weeks later.
He was at the library studying with his brothers at their favorite table when suddenly, his phone buzzed, a message from snapchat coming in. He looked at the notification, doing a double-take when he read your name there. And when he reached to answer it, he moved too fast and knocked his shell-shaped cell phone off of the table.
Shit.
He bent down to pick it up and when he opened the snapchat, he was surprised to see…the back of his shell? It was captioned: “I spy with my little eye…Something red and green 😉”
Immediately, he whipped around, and sure enough, nestled in a table by the windows was you, looking at him over the top of your laptop screen. You giggled when he spotted you, waving.
Raph nudged Mikey, who was sitting across from him and Mikey traced Raph’s eyeline to where you were, his face immediately lighting up.
“Oh! Hey (Y/N)!” Mikey waved. “You wanna sit with us?”
“Is that alright?”
“Hell yeah!” Mikey motioned you over. “The more the merrier! We can pull up a chair over here on the end.”
So, you gathered your stuff while the guys rearranged some things, putting you on the end of the table, right between Mikey and Raph. When you got over there, you noticed they were sitting with the other two giant mutated turtles on campus, who you had heard of, but hadn’t met yet.
“(Y/N), these are our brothers. Leo’s over there in the blue, our fearless leader. And this is Donatello, the one we go to for homework help.”
“Not tonight you aren’t. This paper is due at midnight and it is…” Donnie glanced down at the clock on his laptop and as soon as he did, he started typing impossibly faster. “Eleven thirty-seven. Do not look at me or breathe in my direction.”
“Noted.” Mikey nodded, a trace of fear in his eyes.
“Nice to meet you, (Y/N). You’re in one of Mikey’s classes, right?”
“Yep! I’m in his film class.” You smiled, taking a sip of your iced coffee. “I got the pleasure of costarring with this one.” You nudged Raph lightly, causing him to smile the most genuine smile Mikey had ever seen on his older brother’s face.
Huh. Mikey took note, something devious stirring in the back of his mind. Interesting…
“What did you get on that, by the way?” You asked.
“We got an A! Well, Minus. But you know how Smith is.”
“Dude that’s awesome!” You bumped your fist against his. “Good job. I’m pretty sure my group got a B, but we’re not mad about it. C’s get degrees, as they say.”
“Cheers to that.” Leo chuckled.
“What are you working on today, Raph?” You asked, tilting your head in a way that sent his heart racing in a way he could not explain.
“I have a paper for my Writing 150 class.”
“Oof that sucks. Who do you have?”
“Trainor.”
“Ouch. She hated me.” You grimaced, shaking your head. “She found out I was bi and it was all over for me.”
“Did you report her? I’m pretty sure you can report her for that sort of thing.” Raph asked, trying not to get heated over it. He was pretty sure she didn’t like him very much either, but it was probably due to the fact that he was a giant green turtle. “That’s bullshit.”
“I’m in the process of that right now.” You nodded. “She’s a bitch. I don’t know if they’ll actually do anything about it though.”
“Keep me posted. I might file something too if she doesn’t stop glaring at me during class.” Raph grumbled. “It’s annoying.”
“That would be annoying. Her beady little eyes glaring at you for two agonizing hours of ‘This is how to correctly use a comma’.”
He chuckled. “Yeah. It is.”
You glanced at your phone, which buzzed with a text from one of your roommates. “Oh! Uh, do you guys have any plans this weekend?”
“Nope. Why?” Mikey asked, curiosity seeping into his voice.
“My roommate is throwing a party, if you guys wanna come. It’ll be pretty chill. Drinks, pizza, some music.”
“Oh hell yes.” Mikey nodded. He looked at Leo. “Leo, can we?”
“I don’t see why not.” Leo shrugged. “Sounds like a good time.”
“Is there a dress code?” Mikey asked. Now that he was finally allowed to socialize, he didn’t want to fuck it up.
“Nope. Just casual. Come as you are.”
“Do you need us to bring anything?”
“If you guys have a drink of choice, bring that, I guess, but otherwise, my roommate’s boyfriend works at a pizza place, so we get a pretty good discount and we have literally so much wine.”
“That’s amazing.” Mikey nodded, making a mental note to look into jobs at a pizza place later.
“We’ll bring a veggie tray.” Donnie said, his fingers flying across the keyboard of his laptop until finally, he stopped. “I finished, by the way.”
“Good job, dude!” Mikey gave him a thumbs up. “You wanna write mine next?”
“Ha.” Donnie stared at him. “Funny.”
“What’s your paper on, Raph? Maybe I can help.”
Raph turned his laptop towards you. “We have to write it about like growing up. You can, uh, read it if you want. I don’t mind. I’m kinda stuck right now anyway.”
“Okay.” You agreed, switching his laptop for yours. You winked. “Trade ya.”
“What are you writing about?” He asked, scrolling to the top of your document.
“Women in Film.” You shot finger guns at him. “I’m about to make some Film Bois REALLLL mad.”
“Roast ‘em, (Y/N).” Mikey laughed, knowing all too well exactly which film boys you were talking about. He was not a fan.
“That’s the plan.” You chuckled and then started reading over Raph’s paper. You had known before meeting them that they hadn’t exactly had the best childhood, but…wow was it eye-opening reading the experience from his eyes. “Holy shit.”
“That bad?” He joked, trying to read your expression.
“No, it’s…Raph, this is really good, but wow. You guys went through a lot, huh?”
“Yeah…” He shrugged. “It wasn’t all bad, but it sure wasn’t normal by any means.”
“Mmm…” You nodded, looking up at him. “I mean, normal is kinda overrated.”
He chuckled. “I’m glad ya think so. Not many people do.”
You shrugged, smiling softly. “Well, it’s a good thing I’m not like many people.”
***
“(Y/N), this place is as clean as it’s gonna get. It’s a party. It’ll be messed up in,” your roommate, Haley, glanced down at her watch, “like twenty minutes.”
“I know, I just…I’m nervous. These guys are basically superheroes. I want to make a good impression.”
“Fair point.”
You swept the kitchen floor and got out the cutest paper plates you had in the cupboard as well as some solo cups and plastic wine glasses. If you could avoid broken glass today, that was probably the move.
The doorbell buzzed and your heart raced, but it was just your other roommate’s boyfriend with the pizza.
“Is Darcy here?” He asked.
“She’s upstairs getting ready, you explained, helping him get the pizza and breadsticks and everything set up on the counter. He’d also brought a few two-liters of Pepsi, which was good. You put it next to the giant jug of fruit punch you’d bought at the grocery store. It was important to make sure your non-drinking friends had something to drink, too.
A few minutes after, guests started arriving. Darcy came downstairs and started up her iconic party playlist. Your neighbors popped in. It was easier to invite them and let them have a good time with you than have them call security on you guys for throwing a party, even if it was the weekend and it was only nine.
You turned off the lamps in the living room and instead set your strip lights to party mode, causing them to cycle through a bunch of colors in time with the music. It was then that the doorbell rang again and you rushed to the mirror to check yourself once more. You adjusted your hair, straightened out your top, and checked your teeth for food. Nope, you were good.
So, with the rest of the hosts distracted, you opened the door. On the other side of it were four tall, green gentlemen, one of them carrying a veggie tray.
“Hey guys, come on in!”
You moved out of the way so they could step inside.
Mikey’s eyes widened, looking into the living room full of dancing college kids. “Woahhhhh this is awesome!”
“Glad you think so.” You laughed. “There’s food and drinks in here, the bathroom is in the hallway, and everyone else seems to be either in the living room or the back yard.”
“Where do you want this veggie tray?” Donnie asked.
“Thank you so much for bringing this, by the way! You can set it over by the pizza boxes. I can get a spoon for the dip.” You said, walking towards the silverware drawer and producing a spoon while Donnie popped the lid off of the plastic serving tray and opened up the dip. You handed him the spoon.
The guys were each sporting their signature color, but they were wearing clothes you hadn’t seen them in before. Usually, Raph liked to wear a large gray hoodie, but today, he was sporting a black t-shirt and an impossibly large red flannel with some jeans. It looked good on him. Like, really good.
Apparently, he was thinking the same thing, because as soon as you were free, he walked up to you and nudged you gently. “You look really good.”
Your cheeks flushed with warmth and you wished you could blame it on wine, but you hadn’t even had a sip yet. “Thanks. You clean up pretty nice yourself.”
Had you worn a red top on purpose? Yes, absolutely. Would you admit to it, though? No, definitely not.
But Mikey noticed. Oh, Mikey noticed everything. And he couldn’t help but think that you and his older brother would make quite the couple. Maybe there was something he could do to just…give it a little push.
***
The time came later, when the party was finally starting to wind down. Some people had left. Your neighbors had gone home, and you’d switched the strip lights to a light, warm color. You’d also switched the upbeat party playlist for something chill to play in the background. The remaining partygoers were all settled in a circle in the living room, eating whatever pizza was left, sipping on box wine, and playing a game of truth or dare.
“Haley, truth or dare?” Darcy challenged.
“Truth.”
“Okay…Fuck, Marry, Kill: Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth and…..Chris Pine.”
“DAMN.” She cursed. “You can’t do that to me. Shit. Uh…Fuck Chris…Hemsworth. Marry Chris…Pine? And—”
“Don’t you do it!” You warned.
“Kill Chris Evans.”
“Noooooooooo!” You whined, taking a sip of your drink. The rest of the group laughed. “Poor Captain America.”
“Rest in pieces, Cap.” She agreed, shaking her head. “Okay…Mikey, truth or dare.”
“Dare.” Mikey answered quickly. He always picked dare, so in the fifth round of the game, it wasn’t much of a surprise.
“I dare you…to take a shot of straight lemon juice.”
“Easy peasy.” Mikey scoffed, pouring himself a shot and downing it.
You watched as his face contorted at the sour, sour taste. You couldn’t help but giggle a little at that.
“Good job, Mikey.” Donnie laughed, dipping a piece of broccoli in dip before popping it into his mouth.
“Taking it like a champ.” Leo added, nodding.
“Alright, my turn?” Mikey asked, looking around the circle for his victim, pretending he hadn’t been planning this since round one. “(Y/N). Truth or dare?”
You thought about it for a second. How easy it would be to just choose truth again, but for some reason, you were feeling a little brave, so instead, you picked, “Dare.”
“Oooooooh,” the circle said, all of them a little surprised by that choice.
“Okay. Alright.” Mikey rubbed his hands together mischievously. All according to plan. “I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room.”
“OOOOOOOHHHH!” The circle all stared at you and you thought for a second, a smirk settling on your features.
“Oh that’s easy.” You got up and crossed the circle until you were standing in front of Raph. Even sitting down, he was almost your height. “Think I could get a kiss?”
Raph stared up at you, shocked, waiting for you to say Sike! HAHA! Did you actually think I thought you were hot?! Loser!
But you never did, instead looking down at him with sincerity, patience. Were you a little…nervous, even?
“Why me?” He whispered, his eyes fixed on you. There were plenty of good-looking human guys still there, and yet you were certain. Unwavering. Then, louder, he asked, his heart absolutely fighting to get out of his chest, “Are you sure?”
“Positive.” You nodded, starting to lean closer. Once you were most of the way in, you let him meet you in the middle, your soft human lips meeting his, which were, you had to admit, way softer than you thought they would be.
Raphael kissed you like you were made of glass, like if he moved too fast, you would shatter. It was his first kiss, after all, and he didn’t want to fuck it up.
When it finally ended, you walked back to your seat in the circle, your cheeks rosy, heart racing. Haley gave you a nudge and you giggled, your stomach filled with butterflies. The rest of the game went along with little fanfare, and once everyone was tired enough, the apartment cleared out even more, leaving just your roommates, Darcy’s boyfriend, and the turtles, who insisted on helping clean everything up. Well, it had been Leo’s idea, but the rest had agreed to stick around to help.
You volunteered to go out into the backyard to pick up all of the stray solo cups and White Claw cans. You hated litter. You worked out there alone for a bit. As you bent down to pick up the last can you heard the signature screech of the sliding door opening.
Raph squeezed through the narrow doorway, cursing his shell for making him so damn wide.
“Hey,” you said softly, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. Your voice was almost swallowed up by the sounds of the choir of crickets outside.
“Hey.” He closed the sliding door. “Can we talk?”
“Yeah, of course.” You nodded, tying off the trash bag you were using to collect garbage. “How was your first college party?”
“It was great. Really, really great.” He said, taking slow steps through the grass towards you. “Um…I…did you mean what you said? Earlier.”
“What do you mean?”
“When you…was I really…” he laughed at the absurdity of it. “You think I’m hot?”
“I do.” You nodded. “Of course I do.”
“I’m sorry if I find that a little hard to believe.” He shook his head, stopping right in front of you. When he was standing in front of you like this, he was remined of just how big he was compared to you, just how much he towered over you. Just how different you were. “I’m just used to the opposite reaction.”
“Believe it.” You reached forward and took his hand in yours, gripping one of his giant green fingers.
“I’m trying to.” He chuckled and fiddled with your little hand, nervous. “You know, uh…that was my first kiss in there. I wasn’t too awful, was I?”
“I didn’t mean to steal your first one.” You laughed softly. “Sorry. But to answer your question, I thought it was perfect.”
“That’s a relief.” He was quiet for a moment, thinking. “Uh…If it’s alright with ya…I’d like to give you my second kiss, too.”
Instead of answering, you took another step closer, looking up, up, up into his piercing green eyes. “You’re gonna have to come down here; I can’t reach.”
He laughed. “Right.” Raph craned his neck down, one of his large hands tilting your face up towards his so he could meet you in the middle for another perfect kiss.
***
“What are you doing?” Leo asked Mikey, who was peering through the blinds into the back yard of the apartment.
Mikey only grinned proudly, nodding to himself. “Works every time…”
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