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stones-x-bones · 3 years

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Faeted End || Rio and Bex (ft. A Special Guest)

TIMING: Current PARTIES: @3starsquinn and @inbextween, Jim the Warden (written by Virginia) SUMMARY: Rio wants to keep his friend safe, and Bex has had enough of people hurting Mina. CONTENT: Head injury, Memory Loss, Gun mention (but no usage), Domestic abuse mentions

Anger wasn’t a feeling Bex was used to, but how could she not be angry? Someone had hurt Mina, badly, and they were still out there. They were still allowed to walk around, unscathed, unpunished, unjustly. Rio had told her all about it, even if Mina wouldn’t, and the second she’d heard that it was someone like Frank, someone who hurt people specifically like Mina, the rage had begun to build in her stomach. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. Why were there people out there who specifically hunted others? It was disgusting. That man needed to be stopped. She’d decided that the instant she’d talked to Rio. He needed to be stopped, and Bex now had the tools to do that. You can stop the fight before it even begins. Nell had taught her a bit more since she’d last exploded that doll, and Bex knew she was right-- she was going to stop this man before he hurt anyone again. Before he hurt Mina again.

It was with that boiling rage inside of her-- that fear, that worry, that pain-- that she ended up in the Outskirts with Rio. Apparently the man was at a bar down here, as Rio had told her. It just made her more angry. Was Adam like this? Was Dani? Was Mina supposed to be like this? She pushed the thoughts down and tried to calm herself, gathering her energy in the pit of her stomach, readying it for when she’d need it most. “Should we just go inside?” she asked in a hushed voice to Rio, “Or wait for him to come out?”

It was very possible that Orion had made a mistake. He had almost died on two separate occasions now, ironically with two girls that were dating. Once he knew, he couldn’t keep it to himself. He couldn’t stop thinking about the hunter that would almost undoubtedly go after Mina again. But he didn’t know how to stop him. When he first told Bex about the man, it was more as a warning than anything else. Just so they could keep an eye out for him. Now, he stood in front of the worst places in town.

His arms were crossed, a very deliberate attempt to hide his goosebumps. He rocked back and forth on his feet to hide any shaking. He hadn’t been inside of this bar in a long time. But all of the horrible memories were too vivid. He used to sit at the same table with his parents and sister, headphones in but still unable to block the conversations other hunters had. Terrible, evil conversations about the supernatural creatures Rio wanted only to protect. “Going in is a very bad idea.” Rio answered as soon as it was suggested. They never stood a chance against a group of hunters. They barely stood a chance against one. “He’s dangerous. And we don’t exactly want to attract any attention.” He hadn’t exactly mentioned that this bar was almost exclusively hunters. Well, besides that one guy. He seemed nice. “That wouldn’t be good for us.”

“Yeah, well,” Bex spat, surprised at her own ire, “I’m dangerous, too.” The power inside her stomach was dangerous. She didn’t want to wait for this man, but Rio was right-- going inside was a bad idea. She could recognize that much. So they would wait. “Fine, we’ll wait.” She ushered Rio over to one of the stores that was across the street from the innocuous looking bar. They’d have to keep a close watch, to see when he left. Not wanting to make a scene also meant they’d have to follow him a little distance away until they could get him well and truly alone. Just like he’d had Mina. Just like he’d probably had so many others. Bex felt her anger growing again and the window beside her cracked a little. She looked back at Rio. “You don’t have to stay, if you don’t want to,” she told him. He looked absolutely frightened, which Bex was sure was fair. From what he’d told her, this man had attacked him, too, and there were still signs of that evident on his skin. Her eyes lingered on the bruises around his neck. She needed to calm down before she exploded too soon. “I’ll be okay on my own.”

The two perched in a nearby store, Bex seemingly intent on watching the entrance to the Silver Bullet at all times, while Orion barely wanted to see the place at all. The longer the two waited, the more anxious Rio was going to get. But there was no way he was going to leave Bex alone to try to talk to the man. Besides, he had no interest in anyone dying tonight. It was clear the warden had no issues killing non-fae. And the only examples of Bex’s magic that Rio had seen so far was her blowing things up. It was a hostile mixture.

“It’s fine. Just keep your eye out for the door okay? I’m going to go get him” He hated the words even has he said them, but pulled his jacket tighter shut and left quickly. His legs were going to give out quickly if he fought it off any longer. His choice now was to get in and get out quickly. He hoped that the sight of Rio would peak the hunter’s interest enough to follow him. As long as he didn’t call him out in front of the entire bar, this would probably end in no death.

The place hadn’t changed a bit, right down to the nausea Rio felt being inside of it. He stood in the entrance way for a while, looking past the prying eyes turning to see who had just walked in. Many faces were familiar, and from the look on their faces Rio could tell they recognized him too. The kid whose parents got offed by the supernatural last year. The news had spread through the hunter community that had known his parents. He didn’t want to give them a chance to start a conversation, so he pushed on his tippy toes and glanced around the bar as if looking for someone. Rio spotted him in the corner of the bar, eyes staring directly in Rio’s direction. So he noticed me too. Great. Though this was technically according to plan, he still hated the feeling of that man looking at him. When the man stood up, Rio spun in place and pushed out the door, glancing at the shop window and pointing in the direction down the street before high tailing away from the bar.

Since coming to this shitstain of a town, Jim’d learned two things: the people were fucking crazy, and what the Silver Bullet lacked in company and good beer, it made up for in information. And interesting sightings. He’d been feeling like shit since those two kids handed him his ass on a platter. One twerpy boy and an already injured fae should’ve been cake to take down, but somehow they’d gotten the better of him, and he couldn’t stand it, trying to swallow down the bitterness of it with watery beer. He couldn’t figure out what was wrong. He’d thought maybe the boy had been brainwashed, promised into protecting the fae, but that hadn’t appeared to be the case. Then he’d thought the fae might try to flee while he took care of the boy, but she’d stuck around, and the two of them had managed to wail on him until he hadn’t been able to stand. Fucking kids. He’d kill the boy just for interrupting with his hunt, but not before he made the little punk tell him where the fae was. He’d make a pretty penny off of her, he just knew it. Somebody was always in the market for nix teeth and scales, and hers had been a nice, silvery color from what he could remember of her goddamn hand and claws ripping into him. He’d kill her slow, make it hurt. He’d be doing the world a service, too.

It was Jim’s lucky night, too. Not the fae; of course it’d be too easy to give him the fae, but the punk was in the Silver Bullet of all places, locking eyes with Jim and then scurrying a way like the fucking pest that he was. Jim grinned at the bartender and laid down his money. “Duty call, pal.” He headed out the door, following the kid and his weird gestures. Maybe the fae was around here after all, though he couldn’t sense her. He allow a bit of iron to concentrate in his hands, though, before reaching for the gun holstered under his jacket. No sword, this time. No point in losing another fine weapon when iron bullets did their job on all kinds of targets. “Hey, Peter Pan!” Jim called out. “Where are you, boy? I just wanna talk about your friend from the other day.”

Bex watched Rio scurry off and stilled herself, watching the door. She wasn’t a hunter or anyone who hurt people by a long shot-- she wasn’t like Nell, her magic wasn’t the kind you used to fight, and she wasn’t like Mina, she wasn’t strong or capable-- but Nell had given her the tools to do what neither of them could. Stop it before it even started. And oh, would she. She wasn’t going to let anyone hurt Mina again. Not like this. Not with broken bones and hand-shaped burns, and black-eyes. She could protect people, too.

Her eyes locked with Rio’s when he exited the bar. The man was coming. Rio darted towards an emptier part of the street, and Bex dropped whatever distraction she’d been holding and followed after, watching the man leave the bar in a hurry, trailing Rio towards the abandoned bits of town. Bex looked as innocent as a flower, with her pretty, blue dress, her hair tied up nice, and her matching purse. She followed casually behind the man, despite the anger in her stomach making her fingers feel like they were on fire. Somehow, there was no fear. No worry. No anxiety. Just anger.

The man turned off behind one of the buildings after Rio and Bex followed close behind them. He called out, but Rio didn’t answer. Bex cleared her throat. “I’m sorry,” she said, clicking her heels on the cement, “are you looking for someone?”

This had been Orion’s own idea, yet his heart exploded in his chest as he rushed out of the bar and down the street. He could hear the hunter behind him, the heavy footsteps loud enough that Rio’s hunter senses weren’t even necessary. He dipped into the alleyway, dipping behind a dumpster and pressing his back against it. The hunter would find him. Rio knew that much. He couldn’t hide forever. He looked for anything he could to defend himself, eventually settling on a broken piece of wood from a nearby pallet board. He gripped the wood tightly and held it against his chest, waiting for the footsteps. They drew closer and closer, feet away from him now until he heard Bex’s voice cut through the quiet of the night. Jesus. She really had no fears. Rio inched closer to the dumpster. He needed to be ready to jump in if the hunter lunged for her.

Jim was expecting a boy, not a girl to start talking to him. He turned around to face the voice and relaxed. Easy. Just a girl, no fae, just a kid in a dress with a purse to match it. “Heya, little lady. Yeah, yeah, I’m looking for a boy about,” he put up his hand, guessing the size of the kid from when he’d last seen him, “yay high?” Runty looking, he almost said, but he was playing nice. Girl was probably a normie. “Might look a little skittish. Kid owes me something, and I need to talk to him real bad.” He put his thumbs in his front pockets, his posture loose, easy. Then he said, “Or he might have a friend with him? Been needing to talk to her, too. She’s about your height, wide eyes.” Doesn’t fucking belong here. “I just need to talk to them both like you believe. Saw them the other day, but they just ran off before we could have our chat, can you believe that? You’re not rude like that, are you, sweetheart? You’d tell me if you saw them?”

She hated the way he talked. So many men had talked to her like that in her life already. It only made her more sure of what she was going to do. What that was? Even Bex wasn’t sure yet, but it was going to be something. Her magic could mess with people’s heads, that’s what she knew for sure. She’d given Eddie her memories of Kyle, had linked her and Kyle’s thoughts, had jumped through Hina’s dreams-- whatever she was going to do to this man, he was going to be left wishing he’d never laid a hand on Mina, or Rio. She smiled pleasantly. “Oh! You must mean Rio,” she said, grinning wider. “He owes you something? That’s strange. He usually always makes sure he follows up on that kinda stuff.” She tapped the strap of her purse, as if in thought. “A girl?” she tilted her head, innocently. All those years of pretending to be proper, pretending to be a good girl were paying off, weren’t they? She knew exactly how to be sweet and unassuming to old men who would never even guess that she hid a power they couldn’t fight again. “Do you mean...Mina? Brown hair, beautiful hazel eyes? A voice that sounds like a babbling brook?” She kept the innocent look on her face. “Are those the two you mean? My friends?” Her voice grew dark in a way she hadn’t known possible of herself, but she couldn't hold it back. “Do you mean the friends of mine you tried to kill, simply because, what?” she held her hand out in a shrugging gesture, “you’re human and they’re not?”

Well, this was… confusing. Jim furrowed his brow, lips dragging down into a frown as he looked at the girl in front of him. “Well, now, I don’t know names or anything like that, but--” Well, huh. Jim relaxed his face, looking at this girl with new eyes. Little lady had bite, then. “Like I said, don’t know names. And I don’t know if I’d say ‘babbling brook.’” He laughed, finding irony in the descriptor. Of course this girl would say that the water nymph sounded like a goddamn stream. “She did babble, though, on and on about shit I just didn’t care about until I shut her up. Got to give it to her, though. Wretch didn’t cry out when I snapped her arm.” This one wasn’t fae, but, just like the boy, she was a liability. Pixy-led, they called them, led astray or promise bound, tricked by the trickiest of the supernaturals. This girl was just like the boy, a fool to fall for a pretty facade. Beautiful hazel eyes. Jim wondered if this girl would think they were so beautiful if they were the last thing she saw as she got dragged under the waves. “I’m like pest control, girl. That’s all there is to it. I’m getting rid of dangerous things. Things you might think you understand, but that you just don’t. Now, you can tell me where this Rio is, this Mina is, or you can stay the hell out of my way. We clear?”

It wasn’t the way he talked to her that set Bex off, no. It wasn’t even the things he was saying, or the way in which he talked down to her, like she knew nothing and was nothing, the same way her parents did. No, it was the casualty with which he talked about snapping Mina’s arm. Bex couldn’t help the release of anger that erupted from her. The windows next to the man cracked and shattered. The dumpster Rio hid behind caved in as if by some invisible force, crashing into it. Bex’s chest flared and she breathed in deeply, holding it. How dare he hold that memory like a laugh in his mind. How dare he think about Mina as if she were prey, a pest. Her teeth clenched so hard together she heard her jaw pop. “Stop,” she hissed through her teeth, and a pulse of magic went out and it commanded him, whether he wanted to or not, to stop. Stop talking, stop moving, stop thinking. “You get her name out of your mouth.” Her hand tightened on the strap of her purse, and, slowly, she removed it from her shoulder, setting it on the ground. Inside it, the ingredients she’d used for the spell, red hot on the palm of her hands. She locked eyes with Rio behind the man. Her entire body was shaking, and she couldn’t tell if it was from anger or fear, but she began her path forward, towards the man. Her hands were tingling with what felt like fire, all of her energy concentrated in them. She’d rip the memories from his head if she had to. She’d decided-- she would not let this man hurt anyone, ever again. “She is not a pest,” she said with shaky conviction in her voice, “and right now, she’s not the dangerous one.” She reached out her hands, placed them on the man’s head. “I am.”

Jim immediately realized that something was fucked up when he couldn’t move. He couldn’t flinch as the glass rained down on him, couldn’t blink, could even move his eyes from where they were focused on this goddamn child in front of him. Motherfucking witches. He didn’t think that witches gave two shits about fae, but what the hell did he know about these fucking kids? All of them had gone off the deep end. His brain felt like the cogs in it had grinded to a stop before they sputtered back to life, and he started to regain pieces of himself the closer the girl walked to him. He could move his eyes. He could twitch his fingers. He could grit his teeth. When she reached her hand out, Jim jerked his up. “Nice try, kid,” he grunted out, taking her hand before she could touch his head. “But I’ve dealt with fae mind magic my whole goddamn life. You’re gonna have to be better than that.” He grinned, savagely. What an important little fae this must be if she had not one but two humans at her beck and call. “Mina, Mina, Mina,” he drawled out mockingly. “What a fucking whiny name. Can’t believe something like that’s got a witch on her side, of all things.” He brought her hands down to her waist. “You’re not dangerous, sweetheart. You’re just fucking annoying.”

The movement caught Bex by surprise. She probably should have been afraid-- this man had ruthlessly attacked Mina, had even tried to go through Rio to get to her-- but she couldn’t feel her fear through all of the anger coursing through her. It was an unstoppable energy now, even as her hands were yanked down to her sides and she was held in place. She tried to pull from his grip, but he was too strong, and she couldn’t move. Her eyes went to Rio behind them. She wanted to call for his help, but her magic was volatile, he might get hurt. “Stay back!” she shouted instead. She hoped it would distract him enough to look away, but the fact of the matter was that she didn’t need him to look away. Instead, she threw her head forward, like they had taught her in those self-defense classes, and slammed her head as hard as she could into his nose. She could hear it crack. Her head splintered with pain-- oh, yeah, she had a cut on her head. It didn’t matter. None of it mattered. She saw the gun on his hip and it just didn’t matter. What mattered was Mina. And how he kept saying her name and how he kept thinking about killing her and Bex wanted it to stop. She wanted him to suffer, to feel the pain and hurt and agony he had caused every fae he’d met up until this moment. And she wanted him to crumble to his knees. And she let go of all of her energy, eyes flashing, and let it pour into his head as she focused on everything she wanted this man to feel. And when he crumpled, she would take everything else from him. She would tear Mina’s name from his mouth and his mind and she would make him wish he’d never met them.

Hunter reflexes or not, Orion knew that Bex’s magic was keeping him preoccupied. He took the opportunity when it prevented itself, sliding out from the dumpster and swinging his makeshift weapon like a bat, bringing the board against the back of the warden’s neck. If Bex’s magic was already overpowering him, then that would just add some extra fuel to the fire. The act of violence triggered a wave of unease in Rio, but he tried to remind himself of how passionately the man had tried to kill Mina and Rio just days ago. He just needed to remember that they weren’t here to kill him. Unlike him, they weren’t monsters. Rio reached for his holster, unclipping and pulling the gun free. He hated the way it fit into his palm. He had always hated guns even more than usual weaponry, but he knew how to work one. His parents had made sure of that. He pressed the magazine release, dropping the round from the gun and then cocking back the slide to release the last bullet from the barrel. Once the gun was dismantled, he tossed the pieces aside. He had no plans of using the gun and he definitely didn’t want the hunter getting to it. “Unlike you, we don’t plan on killing you. We just want to make sure you’re going to leave our friend alone.”

“Fuck!” Jim managed to shout as the girl jerked her head against his nose, blood pouring out. It didn’t do anything more than piss him off, and he was about to tell this goddamn brat that before he felt something whack him against the back of the head. He stumbled, enraged like a bull with a red flag waving out in front of him. He was pissed off, and somebody was about to suffer for it, fae or not. Nobody taught their goddamn kids the rules anymore. Nobody taught their fucking offspring to stay out of a hunter’s way. As he was about to speak, Jim felt warm, like he tended to when he brought iron to the surface of his skin. Then he felt hot, burning, like he’d been sliced and burned and cut and scorched, an agonizing burn that started under his skin and in his brain, and he screamed out, as if he was on fire, but he wasn’t. He looked at his shaky hands, but they were fine. But Jim was on fire. He couldn’t even comprehend what the boy, the one from the woods and the one who hit him with a goddamn board, was saying to him. He couldn’t comprehend the sound of the magazine hitting the ground, and he couldn’t comprehend the sound of the gun being thrown. He could only comprehend the feeling of burning on his skin, and the smell of iron in his nose, and the screams that he recognized, vaguely, as ones that he’d caused melding with the sounds that came out of his clenched teeth as the realization that this is what cold iron felt like on the skin of a fae overwhelmed him. Jim fell to his knees, clawing at his skin. “Please,” he said, voice ragged, choked. “Make it stop, witch. Make it fucking stop.”

Bex stumbled and fell from his grip. Blood dripped down her head, the cut gashed back open. She fell to her knees, shaking. She’d used a lot of energy, she could feel it aching in her bones. But she wasn’t done. He was still able to feel and walk and talk and that wasn’t fair, was it? That wasn’t fair. He’d snapped Mina’s arm and tried to strangle Rio and if he was left to walk away from this unscatched, he’d do it again. She heaved a breath and stood back up on shaky legs, stumbling one step before catching herself. She locked eyes with Rio for a moment, breathing heavy, before she let her eyes fall back to the man on the ground, writhing in invisible pain. She’d done that. Nell was right. She had so much power. She managed to walk the few steps over to the man before she fell back to her knees in front of him. “Did you ever stop?” was all she asked, making sure he knew his fate before she reached her hand back out and placed it on his forehead. Just like in the books, she closed her eyes and concentrated on whatever memories he had of Mina, of Rio. Of hurting anyone who was fae. And she heaved with exhaustion as she cried out and ripped them from his head, her hand pulling back as if on fire, palm blazing red.

There was nothing to do now but wait. Orion stole glances back and forth between the man and Bex. His breathing quickened as he looked away from the visible pain the man was in. He knew hunters exactly like him, had grown up with them. They valued pride above anything else. He would be doing everything in his power to remain stoic if he could. Whatever Bex was doing, it hurt. The thought made Rio uncomfortable, shifting back and forth in an attempt to clear his head from it. He thought about the way his vision began to blur as he was held underwater. This man was a monster. A murderer. If they didn’t do something, he would kill again. If the scene didn’t look so painfully cruel, Rio might almost be fascinated by what she was doing. Instead he tried to think about the fae that would be safer in the world.

Jim managed to look up at this witch, this fucking child, who held so much distaste for him just from doing his goddamn job. He could just barely make out her question, but he couldn’t be bothered to be moved by it. Of course he hadn’t stopped, he wanted to say, but there were no words on his tongue. Why would he stop? He was doing his duty, and if that meant that he took a few extra lives that got in his way, then it didn’t matter. They were beyond saying. Fae were dangerous, they were cruel, and they would twist everything they could get their hands on until it was a perversion of itself. This girl would find that out eventually. The boy would, too. He couldn’t really voice that, though. Couldn’t really voice anything, and, as the girl cried out, Jim did, too, as he watched with his mind’s eye as all the parts of him that made him got dragged out, scrambled, distorted. Was it his mama that gave him his first knife or his pop? Was it a knife or a gun? Was it anything at all? Was he anything at all? He didn’t know. He slumped a bit, head bowed, and blood dripped from his nose onto the ground in front of him. Glassy eyes stared at it but didn’t see. He didn’t know anything at all, really.

Bex’s lungs heaved for air as she fell away from the man, a coughing fit overcoming her; she laid out in the alley on her back, just trying to breathe. She’d used too much, she knew that, but she didn’t care. She tasted iron in the back of her throat, on her tongue, wiped it from her lips once she’d stopped hacking up air. She sat up, the world was spinning, the road was stretching out before her, Rio somewhere down it, staring wide eyed. Visions of the man’s memories played behind her eyes and she blinked heavily several times to make them go away, speckles of light dotting her vision. “Is he…” she started to say, lightheaded and dizzy as she tried to climb to her feet, stumbling into a dumpster and collapsing back to the ground. She looked back at the man’s slumped form and knew that he was. He was gone. He wasn’t going to be hurting anyone, anytime soon. She’d done it. Blood trickled from her nose down over her lips as she smiled. “I did it,” she mumbled, before her world went black and she slumped backwards onto the pavement.

Eventually, the man stopped fighting against the magic and went still on his knees. Orion tilted his head slightly at the sight. He was breathing, Rio could hear it. But he didn’t look aware of his surroundings. He took a step toward the man, “You did it?” Rio asked, unsure exactly what she had just done exactly. But Rio wasn’t going to get an answer. He heard the rush of air and turned as Bex started to fall backwards. His reflexes kicked into effect quickly, his arm shooting forward so he could grab onto her wrist just before she hit the pavement. He breathed a quick sigh of relief that his hunter reflexes had at least been good for something tonight. “Uh… Bex?” Rio asked quietly, slowly lowering her against the ground. She was probably fine, right? He knew that spells could be draining. It must be that. He couldn’t stop himself from looking back at the hunter. It was a weird feeling, knowing that the two had just taken on a hunter. Even if Rio didn’t do much besides play bait. He took a small step back and patted the hunter’s shoulder, “I’m uh- sure that you’ll be fine here.” He mostly said to reassure himself before squatting down to lift Bex up and toss her over his shoulders. And she called him scrawny. He supposed he was responsible for getting her home now.

#chatzy #wickedswriting #chatzy: rio #rio #domestic abuse mention tw #gun tw #head injury tw #memory loss tw #//pls feel free to message if u need a tw free summary!

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pevchpits · 3 years

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𝙨𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙩 𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙤. 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘯. 𝘩𝘦 /𝘩𝘪𝘮. 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘺-𝘵𝘸𝘰. 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘦𝘳. 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 & 𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳.

❛ he’s wasted all his money, but he's never been a waste of time said that he’s a disco man and he’s got a lot of fiscal plans ❜

𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘴 . 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 . 𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵 . 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘴 . 𝘮𝘪𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘳 . 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 . 𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘱𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 . 𝘥𝘰𝘤. 𝘢𝘭𝘭 . 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘪𝘰 ⤵︎

𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗜 𝗔𝗣𝗣.

〔 laith ashley, 32, trans man, he/him ) SAINT CASTILLO was seen listening to DISCO MAN BY REMI WOLF on their way to PERFORMING AND BARTENDING AT THE ROYAL. SAINT is known to be VIVACIOUS & SCATTERBRAINED.

𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗧𝗦.

full name: saint castillo nicknames: nsfw warning /// saint penetrate ( drag king name ) birth date: august 1, 1988 ( leo sun, tbd on the rest ) hometown: toronto, ontario, canada ethnicity: afro-dominican gender: trans man sexuality: queer religion: agnostic occupation: performer ( predominantly singer but sometimes drag ) & bartender at the royal living situation: rents a house with roommates languages: english & spanish height: 5 ft 10 in / 1.788 m tattoo(s)/piercing(s): many small random black tattoos along his arms and chest ( inspo ), both lobes pierced and right side of his nose typically has a hoop. clothing style: bright vibrant colors and will often have some sort of leather accents whether it’s bracelets, pants, jackets, etc. either loose free flowing shirts or tight to his body, there’s no in between. large boots or flashy, pristine fashion sneakers. will wear a pair of red go go boots on a bi-weekly basis at the minimum. tons of rings adorning his fingers. likes to change his appearance between that of a 70s disco dancer to a modern day pirate. there’s no in-between. hobbies: dancing, putting together outfits/fashion/make-up both for himself and others, singing and preforming is everything to him, working out, trying out his new specialty ‘concoction’ for the bar’s menu, hosting parties, cooking and baking.

𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗜 𝗕𝗜𝗢.

Carla and Daniela Castillo, both in their mid-forties, had traveled the world together, found themselves in exciting and stable careers, and more than anything wanted to at last settle down with a child. When they adopted Saint, the agency had assured them both that their new child was the smiliest baby any of them had ever seen. That, however, was nothing close to comparing to the bright, toothless grin cast across his small face. Love at first sight, that’s what they told him when he was old enough to start talking and asking about his adoption.

That love never ceased, if anything, it only grew, and with nowhere else to put it, Saint attempted to pass that love along to others. Carla and Daniela may have been his mothers, but they weren’t the only ones who raised him. Siblings, Aunties, Grandparents, and Cousins alike — his mothers’ own found family — brought him into their lives and raised him as if he were their own. Saint, wanting to continue what his mothers had started, was determined to build his own little found family of friends he met along the way.

[ tw/cw: brief mentions/hints of homelessness ] Formal school and studying may not have been his strength, but when put in front of a crowd, he shined. Outgoing, charismatic, with just a hint of a playful mischievousness, he drew in new friends that he’d work with on stage or in the crowd after performances. By the time he graduated high school, Saint committed himself to performance and building a community. He may have been lucky with his mothers and other various guardians, but he wasn’t naive. Saint had heard the need his mothers had to find community and a place to call home, the same need that he heard echoed in those around him. [ tw end ]

[ tw/cw: hospital, illness ] In Toronto, he established himself in the ball and drag scene, building up a space for himself that bridged the gap between his generation and that of his mothers. But just as he was beginning to make a name for himself within the music scene, and despite any signs, Carla grew ill. It was time, both his mothers said, for them to leave the hustle and bustle of the city. A quieter life with access to a good hospital is what they needed. [ tw end ]

While his mothers pleaded with him to stay in Toronto, continue on with his career that seemed to be on the brink of taking off, Saint couldn’t manage the idea of them starting off new lives, in a new place, alone. Promising he would return to Toronto after a year, just enough time to insure they were both alright, he followed them to Huntsville. One year turned into five, and five into seven.

He’s remade a life for himself, and while it’s not a move he ever thought his life would take, Saint’s never regretted his decision. Self-assured enough to know that he can make the move back to a big city if need be, he’s enjoying the life he has now — not exactly quiet but quieter — with his moms and the friends they meet along the way.

𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗖𝗔𝗡𝗢𝗡𝗦.

- character inspiration: lil papi evangelista from pose, jj maybank from outer banks, alex claremont-diaz from red, white, and royal blue

- probably the worst bartender in all of ontario, but he’ll crack jokes while making it for you, flirt a little, hype you up, and overall try to make sure you forget he messed it up

- speaking of flirting... massive flirt but has a rule that he will never hook up with any patrons while on the job. he finds it tacky.

- if you have ever needed a place to stay the night, you’ve likely ended up at at saint’s. he’s designed the interior of his place to ensure there are plenty of pull out couches, blow up mattress in storage, and even a guest bedroom in case someone needs a safe place to crash.

- calls himself the dad friend even though he’s much more of a brotherly figure.

- big fan of kissing friends ( with consent ) goodnight

- cries a lot even though he’ll swear up and down that he’s not a crier. if you catch him crying ( you probably have ) he’ll always have a new excuse for why it’s not the sappy movie the two of you just sat down to watch.

- he sings and plays the guitar. mostly does more funk and electronic but will jam with anyone that gives him the opportunity

𝗪𝗔𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗗 𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗡𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦.

platonic. found family :), roommates, ex-roommates, favorite patrons that he serves at the bar, friends from toronto, fellow singers/performers, any fans of his drag performances or fellow drag performers. familial. found family :), i do have hc-ed that his moms chose huntsville because one of their siblings lives here who they remained close to so!!! hmu if you want them to be connected that way. romantic. exes, friends-with-benefits, former flings, awkward tinder dates. negative. friends-with-benefits gone wrong, someone who does not find it endearing that he’ll make them an odd take on a margarita rather than vodka soda they ordered, anyone that he might’ve had to kick out of the bar, saint also just has a big mouth and will say things without thinking so this could turn off a lot of people

#sero.intro #ch. saint castillo — all.#ch. saint castillo — intro.#alcohol tw #hospital tw

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johannesviii · 5 years

Text

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2016

I think everyone will agree that 2016 had “Impending Doom” written all over it, and as a result a lot of pop music became very depressed very quickly, and as such, I’m less enthusiastic about this list than some of the previous ones.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

For a year that was so cataclysmic worldwide, 2016 was pretty mundane for me, so let’s just skip to the albums that came out that year and which I consider relevant to my tastes. Obviously (and unfortunately) there was David Bowie with Black Star. We should have known we had jumped right into the Worst Timeline when the year started with the death of Bowie. Nine Inch Nails also released Not The Actual Events, which was pretty good, and as I said previously I consider Coldplay’s A Head Full of Dreams to be more of a 2016 than a 2015 album. And then there was the biggest surprise of all, the return of Enigma after eight years of silence, with the very good Fall Of A Rebel Angel (even if A Posteriori is still my favorite “modern” Enigma album). EDIT: I forgot Ghostlights by Avantasia. Took me YEARS to listen to it & realise how good it was.

But no. Surprisingly enough, my favorite album of the year wasn’t any of those. It was... oh god, that title. Here we go. It was I Like It When You Sleep for You Are So Beautiful yet So Unaware of It by The 1975 - which I like to call “The 1975′s second album” instead, because what the hell, guys. Anyway. It had been a while since I had found a new band I’d consider to be one of my favorite bands. I really liked Chocolate from their previous album but that was it. But this one? What a breath of fresh air. A Change of Heart, She’s American, Please Be Naked, The Ballad Of Me And My Brain, Somebody Else, The Sound, This Must Be My Dream? That’s only the songs I listened to on a loop and that’s already nearly half of the album. Great music, love the vocals, but I especially love the writing, full of strange and awkward details and lines that make everything feel so alive. The first time I listened to some of these songs, some lines actually got a chuckle out of me, like the American girl wanting the narrator to fix his teeth, or him hopping on a bus to ask the passengers if someone found his brain, or his girlfriend complaining about his shoes and his songs then immediately adding “I thought that you were straight, now I’m wondering”.

As someone who’s constantly puzzled by human relationships and tends to act super awkwardly, all of this is extremely relatable. So yeah. Album of the year, love this band - impatiently waiting for that fourth album!

As far as unelligible songs go, as you can guess I’m furious The Sound (The 1975) wasn’t a hit because I was and I’m still listening to it on a loop. And that’s about it. Wait there’s also Kids by One Republic. It was super good. Apart from that, there’s also one (1) elligible song that I’m gonna put on the 2017 list instead because I really struggled to find enough songs I liked for that list, and that particular one is elligible for 2016 thanks to the French year-end list and 2017 thanks to the US year-end list, so eh.

Time for some honorable mentions.

This Girl (Kungs vs Cookin’ on Three Burners) - Number one of the year here. Every time I heard it (and I heard it a lot) I enjoyed it until that wretched drop.

Fast Car (Jonas Blue ft Dakota) - Not a good cover, but I love the original so much I’d be lying if I said I hated this completely.

Sucker for Pain (Lil Wayne & Imagine Dragons) - No, that slow, heavy, tortured beat that all recent Imagine Dragons songs have doesn’t work on topics like being a natural at something, being a believer, or describing thunder. It does work, however, with a chorus saying “I'm just a sucker for pain”.

Cheap Thrills (Sia ft Sean Paul) - Sean Paul, and a song about having fun without any money. Everything I want from an average hit song on the radio.

In the Night (The Weeknd) - This would be much higher if I didn’t find The Weeknd’s upper register slightly painful to listen to.

J’ai Cherché (Amir) - Hey look, the guy France sent to Eurovision that year. He’s still around, too. He’s pretty good, and that song is super cute.

Ride (21 Pilots) - Not the last time they will appear on this list.

Je Suis Chez Moi (Black M) - Pretty good song about racism, and the singer explicitly calls out a far right political figure who said some pretty terrible shit about him, and it’s a good answer.

Perfect (One Direction) - This is just Style by Taylor Swift all over again except slightly less good. But as I said before, copying good songs isn’t always a bad thing.

Human (Rag’n’bone Man) - Would definitely be on the list if listening to it didn’t feel like working.

Into You (Ariana Grande) - The last cut. The ending is wonderful and explosive, it’s just a shame that the entire song doesn’t sound like that.

And now... the list.

10 - Stressed Out (21 Pilots)

US: #5 / FR: #9

Defining song of the entire year, whether you liked it or not.

Fortunately, as you can see, I liked it a lot, even if I don’t have anything interesting to say about it.

9 - Don’t Be So Shy (Imany, Filatov & Karas remix)

US: Not on the list / FR: #2

I often joked that the melody sounded weirdly similar to Goldman’s “Envole-moi” by singing the lyrics of the verses over the Don’t Be So Shy verses, and it fits nearly perfectly. But apart from that, great song, great remix, very overplayed but never to the point of being annoying.

8 - I Took A Pill In Ibiza (Mike Posner)

US: #15 / FR: #29

There’s nothing I could say about this song that Todd hasn’t said before in what I consider to be one of his best reviews, if not the best, so here it is.

7 - Heathens (21 Pilots)

US: #21 / FR: #23

Super ominous and tense. It’s rare when a mostly grey song looks interesting, and this one definitely does. I also like the ending a lot. Don’t hang out with too many toxic people, guys, they will influence you over time.

I had no idea this was made for the Suicide Squad movie until very recently and frankly I wish it hadn’t because it’s way better on its own, especially the hand grenade line which works a lot better as a metaphor for self-destructive tendencies.

6 - Starboy (The Weeknd)

US: #58 / FR: #16

As I said before it took me ages to like The Weeknd. His voice is great but I found most of his songs fairly boring or disliked their lyrics. And then he teamed up with Daft Punk and to be honest, I didn’t even care if the lyrics of this one included weird lines about drugs on furniture, the beat was completely worth it and the singing was great. Not enough to put it on my mp3 playlist, but a delight every time it was on the radio.

5 - Faded (Alan Walker)

US: Not on the list / FR: #11

I adore this post-apocalyptic, contemplative music video. The music itself has this weariness and this quiet despair that felt super relevant, and even the drop is a bit slow instead of energetic. I usually don’t like this kind of song but this one found the perfect balance. If we really need to have more sad, exhausted hit songs, more like this, please.

4 - Closer (The Chainsmokers)

US: #10 / FR: Not on the list

I usually don’t like love songs if they are just that, random love songs without a good melody or good colors or good stories. If the melody isn’t particularly great and the colors boring, it needs to paint an interesting picture, and the more details the better, even if they are super awkward, like, as I said previously, in some of The 1975′s best songs mentioning bad shoes, or people’s jobs, or how a car smells like.

So yeah, what I’m trying to say is that my favorite thing about this song is the over-abundance of weird and kind of off-putting details that most people consider to be its main flaw. To each their own, I guess.

3 - Never Forget You (Zara Larsson & MNEK)

US: #46 / FR: Not on the list

See, this is one of the reasons why I decided to make these lists: to find great stuff I missed over the years. I discovered this song while making the 1.0 version of the lists on a google sheet in early December, and now this has a spot on my mp3 player. And it’s so weird because this song shouldn’t work. The drop is ridiculously lifeless compared to the soaring quality of the chorus and it actively works against the rest of the song. It takes a while to get used to it and I’m still not entirely sure it does work, at all.

But what can I say, framing is, once again, everything, and songs about imaginary friends are super rare, and that music video made me cry and catapulted this song from “that’s pretty good” right into the “holy shit that’s fantastic” category. And it made me rewatch Where The Wild Things Are, so yeah.

2 - Perfect Strangers (Jonas Blue)

US: Not on the list / FR: #70

This, on the other hand, stayed on my mp3 player for about two years, and the music fits the lyrics perfectly. It’s not a groundbreaking song, it’s not even that original, but in such an average year for pop music, “happy energetic song with beautiful colors and nice lyrics” meant the world to me. It’s kind of telling that it was enough to put it as high as #2, though.

1 - Hymn For the Weekend (Coldplay ft Beyoncé)

US: #73 / FR: Not on the list

And with this, Coldplay has officially topped as many of my lists as Linkin Park. If, back when The Scientist dropped, you had told me how much I would love this band in the future, I would have laughed pretty hard, but here we are.

But yeah, it’s one of my favorite songs on the album and it’s a super weird combo of heavy and aerial sounds, soft and super colorful notes, and I love the lyrics that completely mirror that feeling, feeling “drunk and high", “poured on a symphony when I’m low, low, low”. A great party song that’s also strangely melancholic. Exactly what I needed.

And then the Seeb remix happened and added a truely fantastic drop on top of an already great song, like turning the saturation up and adding little pulsing lights and transparency effects and shit. It’s sincerely hypnotic and visually so complex and fragile I’m afraid I won’t be able to draw it if I ever attempt to turn it into a synesthesia drawing. Just like A Sky Full of Stars, I was driving the first time I heard that remix on the radio, and I wasn’t expecting that drop at all, and I was gawking.

Godspeed, Coldplay, I’m so glad you’re still a positive force in my life, especially in these trying times.

Next up: Oh my god are you telling me that after 15 years I can finally put a song from that other band at the top of one of my lists

#Johannes’ bad not good pretty terrible music lists #music #long post #eye contact tw

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waywardsignns-moved · 5 years

Text

Making a Deal with the Devil

Drabble ft. Tiffany through the years

The young red head had been confused why the man was approaching her at all, admittedly nearly running him off as she had all the others that had tried to come for her for glory. Though it had been the earnest and almost hopeful expression on the man’s face that stopped Tiffany, opening the door to hear what he had to say to her … though that certainly didn’t mean she wasn’t ready to act, a fact she so happily informed him off. She didn’t trust him… she couldn’t trust him … and yet his words stopped her cold in her tracks.

“I heard that you were the person to come to for … certain problems … they said you were the perfect one to go to, to make a deal with the devil.”

Blinking almost stupidly at the man as he continued to talk and explain just what it was that he needed her particular brand of help with, it was genuinely shocking to the young woman to come to a full realization of just what it was all these people thought of her. To know that they thought her to be so truly evil that he would say such a thing… how could he say that!? She was only 16 years old!

Feeling her frustration build, she was entirely unaware of how her power built along with it, “I am not the devil! I’m just a girl!! I’m not evil!!!” practically screeching at the end, she moved to shove him back … and sent him on his knees howling in pain, scrambling to get up as soon as he was able to regain movement of his body … and ran for the town. Feeling her heart sink, Tiffany knew full well that this moment was when she would have to run … she would not survive the night should she stay.

•• some years later ••

Oh … oh this poor pathetic fool … looking down to the creature before her, Tiffany didn’t feel a single ounce of remorse for how the coward shook in fear, the sent of their own urine filling the space around them. She knew full well that they were reacting to how their fear was being fed by the very aura that surrounded her, could feel it in how the emotion radiated off of them. Quite frankly it made her want to take a bath … but watching it for now was fairly amusing for her, even if it was taking fuck knows how long to get to the person’s point.

She never had been a fan of stutterers, after all

“Alright alright, I’ve heard enough-” waving a hand through the air to get the person to stop, Tiffany took a moment to look them over, considering her options before a slow smile grew on her face … that had nothing to do with joy. “-now what is it you’re supposed to say?” she drawled, sauntering closer, wickedness radiating from her form.

“I-I want …. I want t-to make a deal with th-the devil…” stuttering through the words, the being was clearly still terrified beyond reason as Tiffany reached out, holding her hand for them to take.

“Well?” arching a brow, she waited … and as soon as they took her hand, she drug them closer, her smile one of pure evil intent as her eyes glowed a haunting violet color, “…And I will show you exactly what making a deal with the devil means, you poor unfortunate soul…” drawling the words, all it took was her placing a single hand on their head to push her way into their feeble mind, drawing out their worst and darkest fears, manipulating their greatest joys … and making them suffer for as long as she saw fit.

•• sometime during the black plague ••

There wasn’t a chance in hell that she cared about a single person other than herself … she was out for number one only, and she didn’t give a damn who fell in her path or who she walked over to make sure it stayed that way. Though … these were certainly special circumstances, and even she couldn’t deny that. Even she, a woman born of darkness and fear, had a heart, and to see a child suffer was nothing that she ever wanted to see… and she was lucky enough to run into another that was of the same mindset.

Hearing his terms and giving her own right back to him in return, she couldn’t help but look down to him as he knelt before the child, her posture and her expression radiating superiority … all to cover the lingering concern for the child that grew closer to death every moment that passed.

And to hear the acceptance of her terms that were offered? She couldn’t help but be just the slightest bit smug, reaching forward to clasp the hand that was offered. “Never thought I’d make a deal with the devil.” with the man speaking the words, Tiffany admittedly never thought that she would hear it come from this man’s mouth … and yet that certainly did nothing to stop how her smug smile grew all the more, a slow laugh building and spilling past her lips as she kept hold of his hand in a vaguely threatening gesture that she had no intentions of truly acting on.

“…Oh sweetheart … you have no idea …” drawling the words, she watched him work, finding herself almost a bit too amused over the words that had been spoken.

•• mid 1800′s ••

She hated this place … genuinely she did. No matter where she went in the world it was the same shit, different sob story … though this certainly was a much different set of circumstances than she had seen before. She always had been drawn to the chaos of things, and while others were off fighting their own wars … she had found one particular woman fighting something entirely different. Tiffany was no healer … she was not known to be honorable or kind or anything of the sort .. and yet there was simply something here and now that she couldn’t pull herself away from.

“Please … I beg of you-” hearing the woman’s pleas, Tiffany couldn’t help but sigh as she looked away, her arms crossing beneath her breasts as she mulled it over, thinking about what was needed again and again. She could easily walk away and never look back … quite frankly take her back a couple hundred years she would have without hesitation. So what was different now? What made her want to give into the hope that she saw in the woman’s eyes?

Hope … what a foolish and pointless emotion.

“Please… I’ll make a deal with the devil if I have to … just … all I ask is you help us…” Unable to help how Tiffany heaved a sigh at those particular words, staring off to the side at nothing in particular for a moment longer before she finally looked to the woman.

“..A deal with the devil is what you might need … because this is no job for any hero…” and the dark shit was what she was good at … and that was all she was good at, right?

•• current day ••

Same people as everywhere else … same acts of passion being begun, same moves being made as they were everywhere else, and as they had been through countless generations. Where was the pleasure in all of this … where was the fun? The thrills? She could find it nowhere despite the laughing and happy faces, the sexual vibes that practically radiated from 70% of the people there … and certainly the female that sauntered up to Tiffany’s side. There was no doubt that Tiffany let herself be caught in the web, letting herself go along with the game despite how robotic it was, despite how the liquor in her system did nothing to drown out the noise.

It was no surprise to Tiffany when she was led up a flight of stairs, no surprise to find the woman’s lips on hers as Tiffany sought to drown herself in the woman’s taste. To find pleasure in a world she could no longer find it in, in the hands of this woman. Stumbling their way through whatever room they had come to, Tiffany didnt’ waste no time in stripping her down, pushing her down none too gently on the bed that … well she hadn’t entirely been positive wouldn’t be a table, but whatever.

Hearing the woman’s husky laugh, Tiffany admittedly should have expected what came next. “Oooooooh baby, did I just sign a deal with a devil with that kiss?”

Feeling her blood run cold with the words, at first all Tiffany wanted to do was kill this woman on the spot for uttering words she had heard all her life … and yet taking a long look at her … she was simply too tired to try. Staring down at the woman for a long and lingering moment, she found it harder than it should be to command her own body to turn away … but once she did? She didn’t look back.

Not even when the woman began to call out for her, not even when the cursing began as Tiffany shut the door behind her. She didn’t care … she didn’t want this life anymore. She didn’t want to be what she was … she didn’t want to be a walking, talking embodiment of evil …

She honestly … didn’t know what she wanted… but it certainly wasn’t this

#drabble #long post

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waywardsignnsa · 6 years

Text

Making a Deal with the Devil

Drabble ft. Tiffany through the years

The young red head had been confused why the man was approaching her at all, admittedly nearly running him off as she had all the others that had tried to come for her for glory. Though it had been the earnest and almost hopeful expression on the man’s face that stopped Tiffany, opening the door to hear what he had to say to her ... though that certainly didn’t mean she wasn’t ready to act, a fact she so happily informed him off. She didn’t trust him... she couldn’t trust him ... and yet his words stopped her cold in her tracks.

“I heard that you were the person to come to for ... certain problems ... they said you were the perfect one to go to, to make a deal with the devil.”

Blinking almost stupidly at the man as he continued to talk and explain just what it was that he needed her particular brand of help with, it was genuinely shocking to the young woman to come to a full realization of just what it was all these people thought of her. To know that they thought her to be so truly evil that he would say such a thing... how could he say that!? She was only 16 years old!

Feeling her frustration build, she was entirely unaware of how her power built along with it, “I am not the devil! I’m just a girl!! I’m not evil!!!” practically screeching at the end, she moved to shove him back ... and sent him on his knees howling in pain, scrambling to get up as soon as he was able to regain movement of his body ... and ran for the town. Feeling her heart sink, Tiffany knew full well that this moment was when she would have to run ... she would not survive the night should she stay.

•• some years later ••

Oh ... oh this poor pathetic fool ... looking down to the creature before her, Tiffany didn’t feel a single ounce of remorse for how the coward shook in fear, the sent of their own urine filling the space around them. She knew full well that they were reacting to how their fear was being fed by the very aura that surrounded her, could feel it in how the emotion radiated off of them. Quite frankly it made her want to take a bath ... but watching it for now was fairly amusing for her, even if it was taking fuck knows how long to get to the person’s point.

She never had been a fan of stutterers, after all

“Alright alright, I’ve heard enough-” waving a hand through the air to get the person to stop, Tiffany took a moment to look them over, considering her options before a slow smile grew on her face ... that had nothing to do with joy. “-now what is it you’re supposed to say?” she drawled, sauntering closer, wickedness radiating from her form.

“I-I want .... I want t-to make a deal with th-the devil...” stuttering through the words, the being was clearly still terrified beyond reason as Tiffany reached out, holding her hand for them to take.

“Well?” arching a brow, she waited ... and as soon as they took her hand, she drug them closer, her smile one of pure evil intent as her eyes glowed a haunting violet color, “...And I will show you exactly what making a deal with the devil means, you poor unfortunate soul...” drawling the words, all it took was her placing a single hand on their head to push her way into their feeble mind, drawing out their worst and darkest fears, manipulating their greatest joys ... and making them suffer for as long as she saw fit.

•• sometime during the black plague ••

There wasn’t a chance in hell that she cared about a single person other than herself ... she was out for number one only, and she didn’t give a damn who fell in her path or who she walked over to make sure it stayed that way. Though ... these were certainly special circumstances, and even she couldn’t deny that. Even she, a woman born of darkness and fear, had a heart, and to see a child suffer was nothing that she ever wanted to see... and she was lucky enough to run into another that was of the same mindset.

Hearing his terms and giving her own right back to him in return, she couldn’t help but look down to him as he knelt before the child, her posture and her expression radiating superiority ... all to cover the lingering concern for the child that grew closer to death every moment that passed.

And to hear the acceptance of her terms that were offered? She couldn’t help but be just the slightest bit smug, reaching forward to clasp the hand that was offered. “Never thought I’d make a deal with the devil.” with the man speaking the words, Tiffany admittedly never thought that she would hear it come from this man’s mouth ... and yet that certainly did nothing to stop how her smug smile grew all the more, a slow laugh building and spilling past her lips as she kept hold of his hand in a vaguely threatening gesture that she had no intentions of truly acting on.

“...Oh sweetheart ... you have no idea ...” drawling the words, she watched him work, finding herself almost a bit too amused over the words that had been spoken.

•• mid 1800′s ••

She hated this place ... genuinely she did. No matter where she went in the world it was the same shit, different sob story ... though this certainly was a much different set of circumstances than she had seen before. She always had been drawn to the chaos of things, and while others were off fighting their own wars ... she had found one particular woman fighting something entirely different. Tiffany was no healer ... she was not known to be honorable or kind or anything of the sort .. and yet there was simply something here and now that she couldn’t pull herself away from.

“Please ... I beg of you-” hearing the woman’s pleas, Tiffany couldn’t help but sigh as she looked away, her arms crossing beneath her breasts as she mulled it over, thinking about what was needed again and again. She could easily walk away and never look back ... quite frankly take her back a couple hundred years she would have without hesitation. So what was different now? What made her want to give into the hope that she saw in the woman’s eyes?

Hope ... what a foolish and pointless emotion.

“Please... I’ll make a deal with the devil if I have to ... just ... all I ask is you help us...” Unable to help how Tiffany heaved a sigh at those particular words, staring off to the side at nothing in particular for a moment longer before she finally looked to the woman.

“..A deal with the devil is what you might need ... because this is no job for any hero...” and the dark shit was what she was good at ... and that was all she was good at, right?

•• current day ••

Same people as everywhere else ... same acts of passion being begun, same moves being made as they were everywhere else, and as they had been through countless generations. Where was the pleasure in all of this ... where was the fun? The thrills? She could find it nowhere despite the laughing and happy faces, the sexual vibes that practically radiated from 70% of the people there ... and certainly the female that sauntered up to Tiffany’s side. There was no doubt that Tiffany let herself be caught in the web, letting herself go along with the game despite how robotic it was, despite how the liquor in her system did nothing to drown out the noise.

It was no surprise to Tiffany when she was led up a flight of stairs, no surprise to find the woman’s lips on hers as Tiffany sought to drown herself in the woman’s taste. To find pleasure in a world she could no longer find it in, in the hands of this woman. Stumbling their way through whatever room they had come to, Tiffany didnt’ waste no time in stripping her down, pushing her down none too gently on the bed that ... well she hadn’t entirely been positive wouldn’t be a table, but whatever.

Hearing the woman’s husky laugh, Tiffany admittedly should have expected what came next. “Oooooooh baby, did I just sign a deal with a devil with that kiss?”

Feeling her blood run cold with the words, at first all Tiffany wanted to do was kill this woman on the spot for uttering words she had heard all her life ... and yet taking a long look at her ... she was simply too tired to try. Staring down at the woman for a long and lingering moment, she found it harder than it should be to command her own body to turn away ... but once she did? She didn’t look back.

Not even when the woman began to call out for her, not even when the cursing began as Tiffany shut the door behind her. She didn’t care ... she didn’t want this life anymore. She didn’t want to be what she was ... she didn’t want to be a walking, talking embodiment of evil ...

She honestly ... didn’t know what she wanted... but it certainly wasn’t this

#drabble #( there's a lot more under the cut )

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meadow-dusk · 6 years

Text

LONG LONG LONG

a music survey from livejournal days…

- TO TAKE THIS SURVEY, SIMPLY PUT YOUR MUSIC PLAYER ON SHUFFLE AND ANSWER THE QUESTIONS WITH THE TITLE OF THE SONG THAT COMES ON - [it’s better if you don’t cheat and don’t skip any songs.]

What is your name?: Moby Dick • Led Zep

How is your life going?: Get on the Right Thing • Paul McCartney

What is your nickname?: The Day the World Gets ‘Round • George Harrison

What is your theme song?: Little Games • The Yardbirds

What is your best friend’s theme song?: Wait • The Beatles

How is your life going to turn out?: Communication Breakdown • Led Zeppelin

Will you get married?: Four Sticks • Led Zeppelin

Will you have kids?: For What It’s Worth • Haley Reinhart

What will your job be?: Rattled • Traveling Wilburys

Did you/will you finish school?: Good Times, Bad Times • Led Zeppelin

Who is your best friend?: Behind that Locked Door • George Harrison

Who is or will be your significant other?: Think Pink! • Beyond Pink

Who do you like?: We’re All in This Together • High School Musical Cast

How will you die?: Stairway to Heaven • Led Zeppelin (YAAAAAS)

How do you feel right now?: Sentimental Journey • Ringo Starr

What is your favorite song?: Matilda Mother • Pink Floyd

How could you describe your parents?: Pilate and Christ • Jesus Christ Superstar (you can’t make this stuff up yall)

Your best friend[s]?: Postcards from Paradise • Ringo Starr

Your teachers?: She’s Not There • The Zombies

Your significant other [or crush…]?: Riding on a Bus • The Beatles (an interview)

Yourself?: Brian Bathtubes • The Beatles (taking requests)

What is your best feature?: The Riddle • Five for Fighting

What will you be/should you be, profession-wise?: Desire • U2

How could you describe this survey?: I Told You So • Randy Travis

What makes you angry?: Moanin’ • Chris Farlowe ft. Jimmy Page and a random sitarist (this song is so interesting)

What makes you sad?: Everything I Know • Mandy Gonzalez

What makes you happy?: One • Bee Gees

What makes you dance?: I Still • Backstreet Boys

What is your favorite color?: Sundown • Gordon Lightfoot

How would you describe yourself?: Heart Attack • One Direction

Who is your worst enemy?: Little Soldier Boy • The Yardbirds

Who do you hate?: No Me Diga • In the Heights

Who do you love?: I Started a Joke • Bee Gees

Who do you lust after?: What Do You Want? • The Yardbirds Finish the Sentence I wish: Rainy Day Women #12 and 35 • Bob Dylan I want to: We’re on the Road Again • Ringo Starr I want to kill:. Money • The Beatles I want to eat: Spring Musical Medley • HSM3 yall with Kryan duet to open My head: Sometimes I’ll Be There • Naked Brothers Band (accurate) I am: Movin On • Rascal Flatts My best feature is: The Sad Bells of Rhymney • Fifth Avenue My eyes are: Safest Place to Hide • Backstreet Boys My hair is: Who Can See It • George Harrison My face is: Baby Come on Home • Led Zeppelin You should: Not This Time • 3Lw

Random Words of advice: And Here We Are Again • The Beatles How do others see me?: Rhythm of Love • Plain White T’s How do I see myself?: Knowing Me, Knowing You • ABBA *** For this first section, put down the first ten songs that play, and then rate them on a scale of 1 - 5 (5 being the best) in the next column. 1. I Have a Dream • Abba 2/5 2. Sounds of Silence • Simon and Garfunkel 5/5 3. In The Flesh • Pink Floyd 4/5 4. Ya-Ya • John Lennon (ft. Julian on drums) 4/5 5. Magic Bus • The Who Live at the Isle of Wright 4/5 6. Stomp • Steps 2/5 7. KICK DA DUST UP • Luke Bryan 4/5 8. Your Mother Should Know • The Beatles 5/5 9. Photograph • Ringo (2017) 3/5 he sounds great but it isn’t exciting also who’s the chick I didnt sign up for this 10. Piggies • The Beatles 5/5 good one George Now for a little fortune telling… 1. Who am I?: Tug of War • Paul McCartney 2. Why am I here?: Bet On It • Zac Efron (skittles and steak) 3. What’s my theme song?: American Beauty/American Psycho • Fall Out Boy 4. How’s tomorrow gonna be?: Behind Blue Eyes • The Who 5. What does ______ really think of me?: Let’s Go to Vegas • Faith Hill 6. What’s this school year going to be about?: Man on Fire • Andy Gibb 7. Is something bad going to happen in the near future?: Little Bitty • Alan Jackson 8. What’s the government going to do next?: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band/The End • Paul McCartney Live at Citi Field 9. What’s my best friend doing right now?: Inutil • Carlos Gomez 10. What does my iPod/MP3 think about me?: American Girl • Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers Last section! These next questions are all about music 1. I absolutely LOVE this song!: The Look of Love • ABC Comments: This was in Start the Commotion and there was a clip art of eyes as the O’s in look 2. I have no clue why this song is still on my music player: Steppin’ Out • John Mayall and the Bluesbreakers Comments: It’s saved because I occasionally really try to get into Clapton 3. This song has AMAZING lyrics: Love Will Find a Way • Pablo Cruise Comments: I remembered his initials but not his name

4. The band that does this song is one of my favorites: Most Peculiar Man • Simon and Garfunkel Comments: I would not say favorites but I give them their due 5. My dad loves this song: Songs About Rain • Gary Allan Comments: he bought the CD and took it on road trips so probs 6. My mom can’t stand this song: The Hook (All My Love) • Led Zeppelin Comments: she probably can stand it more than me 7. I have a sibling who enjoys listening to songs by this band: When You See a Chance • Steve Winwood Comments: fair to say that cause once she asked me what the name of Valerie was 8. One of my best friends hates the band that does this song: Like Nobody’s Around • Big Time Rush Comments: NO FRIEND OF MINE! 9. I got this song off a mix CD: Got My Mind Set On You • George Harrison Comments: I learned how to do the mashed potato to this song 10. This song is on a movie soundtrack: The Freedom Song • Jason Mraz Comments: could definitely be but don’t hold this one down

11. Share a memory involving this song in comments: Friday On My Mind • The Easybeats Comments: running to it - how was there this much good music at one time 12. I’ve played this song on repeat before: You’re My Number One • S Club 7 Comments: Try this ALBUM back when we used to play S Club and have choreography 13. This song is on the band’s Greatest Hit’s CD: Ramblin’ Man • Allman Brothers Band Comments: if it isn’t they screwed up 14. I love dancing to this song!: If You Wanna Do a Dance • The Spinners Comments: seems like that was the idea 15. This song gets me every time I hear it: Bathroom Sound (Out on the Tiles early take) • Led Zeppelin Comments: I prefer the final version with vocals and silly quips but this version does just as well for Bonzo Appreciation Time 16. This song is great to listen to when you’re angry: Farmer Refuted (Instrumental) • Hamilton Comments: OH MY GOD tear this dude apart 17. I love the music video for this song: I’m Just a Singer (In a Rock and Roll Band) • Moody Blues Comments: if there is one it’s probably psychedelic so I’d dig it I bet 18. I’ve seen the band that performs this song live: The Boxer • Simon and Garfunkel Comments: I have not. This song is beautiful. 19. Is this song better to listen to at night, in the morning, or in the afternoon?: Let’s Get Rocked • Def Leppard Comments: morning, running. 20. I haven’t listened to this song in so long!: That’s the Way (Live Paris 1971) • Led Zeppelin Comments: not true it came on on the way to the gym barely a few weeks ago *** What were the first words to Abe Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?: What ya gonna do when it’s cold outside? (Keep It Hid • Robert Plant) What did Martin Luther King have a dream about, anyways?: You’ve got a cute way of talking, you got the better of me! (You Make Me Feel Like Dancin’ • Leo Sayer) Tomorrow’s newspapers will all have the major headline of: Out in the Rain Looking for Sunshine (Permanent Stain • Backstreet Boys) If someone offered you some free drugs, how would you respond?: Lord almighty, feel my temperature risin’...(Burning Love • Elvis) What kind of higher power do you believe in?: You need coolin, baby I’ ain’t foolin (Whole Lotta Love • Led Zeppelin) What do people really notice about you?: There’s a girl I know who makes me feel so good (Valleri • The Monkees) What do you notice first in the preferred sex of your choice?: Hey fellas, have ya heard the news you know that Annie’s back in town (Heartbreaker • Led Zeppelin) What do you look for in reading books?: They say that Richard Cory owns one half of this whole town, with political connections to spread his wealth around (Richard Cory • Wings) What’s a must-have quality in a friend for you?: Meeting people along my way, seemingly I’ve known one day (Happenings Ten Years Time Ago • The Yardbirds) What scares the shit out of you?: Gat Kirwani • George Harrison (this has no words it’s just a sitar jam) How do you laugh?: Anna, you come and ask me, girl, to set you free girl? (Anna (Go To Him) • The Beatles) Why do you do these surveys?: When the night returns just like a friend, when the evening comes to set me free (If You Know What I Mean • Neil Diamond) Do you have anything you’d like to confess?: I can see you in the window waiting for my call (Untouchable • Big Time Rush) How do you feel about the person you cannot stand the most?: If ever you’ve got rain in your heart, someone has hurt you and torn you apart, am I unwise to open up your eyes to love me (Run To Me • Bee Gees) The best date ever, in your book, would consist of…: Dear Theodosia, what to say to you?(Dear Theodosia • Leslie Odom Jr. & Lin-Manuel Miranda) If you sent a random Hallmark card to a friend, you would write to them: Are we growing up or just going down? It's just a matter of time until we're all found out. (Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year • Fallout Boy) If you had the chance to speak to (a) God, what would you say?: Every time I see her, she don’t even look my way (Just My Style • Gary Lewis and the Playboys) Finish the sentence: “When the going gets tough…”: My friend came to me with sadness in his eyes and told me that he wanted help before his country dies (Bangla Desh • George Harrison) How do you deal with your stress?: I can almost remember their funny faces (Jet • Paul McCartney) What is your biggest burden in life?: Somebody’s knocking at the door, somebody’s ringing the bell (Let Em In • Wings) What’s the coolest thing about your best friend?: Hands, put your empty hands in mine (Stand By You • Rachel Platten) Why do you love the one you do?: Sweet, wonderful you. You make me happy with the things you do (You Make Loving Fun • Fleetwood Mac) If a friend broke their arm and got a cast, what would you write on it?: Gonna build myself a castle high up in the clouds (Dance the Night Away • Cream) You see a stick and wet cement. What do you write?: It feels so right now hold me tight (Hold Me Tight • The Beatles) A guy just stole your (purse, car, etc)! What do you yell at him?: Welcome to the camp, I guess you all know why you’re here (We’re Not Gonna Take It • The Who) You pass a crack addict on the corner one day. Solemnly he tells you: Well now we’re respected in society, we don’t worry bout the things that we used to be, we’re talkin heroin with the president (Respectable • The Rolling Stones) What will your baby’s first words be?: He knows about you in every way, he's memorized every part of your face (Does He Know • One Direction) You are at your wit’s end, and decide to write a suicide note. It begins: The pound is sinking, the peso’s falling, the lira’s reeling and feeling quite appalling (The Pound is Sinking • Paul McCartney) Why can’t there be peace in the world?: Let’s talk about one, bay-bay, ya gotta hear me out (Get Another Boyfriend • Backstreet Boys)

How do you think people see you?: I walked in the band just started, the singer couldn't carry a tune in a bucket (Ten Rounds with Jose Cuervo • Tracy Byrd) Inside, though, what kind of person are you really?: well the rain was a-fallin’ and the ground turned to mud, I was watchin’ all the people running from the flood (Deliver Your Children • Wings) If you wanted to comfort a friend, you’d say: Anytime, any day you can hear the people say that love is blind, well I don’t know but I say love is kind (Listen to What the Man Said • Wings) When you want to cheer someone up, you say: *I just make series of nonsense sounds* (Pow R. Toc H. • Pink Floyd) You’re unbelievably depressed because your friend just told you…: people say we’ve got it made, don’t they know we’re so afraid? (Isolation • John Lennon)

When you are incredibly bored, you start thinking about…?: I drive all alone, at night, I drive all alone, don’t know what I’m headed for. (Dead End Friends • Them Crooked Vultures) You’re a classy person, so instead of cursing when you’re mad, you yell…?: I met a gin-soaked, bar-room queen in Memphis (Honky Tonk Women • The Rolling Stones) you’re writing a love letter, but what are you going to begin it with?: The theater’s so obsessed with drama so depressed, it’s hard to sell a ticket on broadway! (Keep It Gay • The Producers) If you were to write a letter to the President of the USA, it would say…?: It’s a boy, Mrs. Walker, it’s a boy (It’s a Boy • The Who) What would someone have to tell you to make you really angry?: No no no no, don’t phunk with mah haaahrt (Don’t Phunk with My Heart • Black-Eyed Peas) …To make you really depressed?: Cars and girls are easy to come by in this day and age, laughing joking drinking smoking til I spend my wage (Over Under Sideways Down • The Yardbirds) ...To make you sexually aroused?: Catch a star if you can, wish for something special (Are You Ready for Love • The Spinners) Your first thoughts waking up were…: Life is just a bowl of All-Bran, you wake up every morning and it’s there (Happydaystoytown • The Small Faces) Your last words before falling asleep will be…: the sun is shining in the sky, there ain’t a cloud in sight (Mr. Blue Sky • Electric Light Orchestra)

#music survey #wow that only took me half a month #kari

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kiihyvns-blog · 7 years

Photo

- ̗̀ task one : the one you c a n ’ t save ! ̖́-

“ the UNDER DOG just turned into the wolf and the hunger S T E A D Y grows. yeah, i call shots while you call off. never takin' ( SUMMER ) or fall off. when you stay that committed to it, you just fall down and never F A L L off. ”

GENERAL INFO

full name: kim kihyun. nickname(s): key, kiki, kihyunnie. gender: cismale. preferred pronouns: he / him / his. age & dob: twenty-two / 17th of november, 1993. astrological sign: scorpio. sexual & romantic orientation: pansexual / panromantic. birthplace/hometown: busan, south korea / seoul, south korea. parents/siblings: kim sungsoo ( father ), lee minhee ( mother ) / no siblings. language(s) known/spoken: korean, mandarin ( conversational ), english ( basic ). current living arrangements: currently residing in an apartment above the bar that he works at with ahn seokmin. occupation/major: currently a bartender and manager of go lucky’s ! bar and grill.

APPEARANCES

height: 182 cm / 6 ft. build: slim / athletic. hair color: currently dyed black / naturally brown. eye color: dark brown. typical style of dress: tight clothing is preferred but usually jeans, t-shirts, sweaters, snapbacks, and leather jackets with an occasional button-up and slacks. body modifications: some minor surgery on the bridge of his nose.

BODY LANGUAGE AND MANNERISMS

how does your muse walk? kihyun tends to walk in long, confident strides with his head held up high and his shoulders straightened. he walks like he’s got somewhere to be, like he’s got swagger in his step. how does your muse talk? kihyun’s loud, blunt, and swears like a sailor. he doesn’t censor himself internally nor externally so whenever he talks to someone, he’s most likely to add in a few curse words here and there. he also likes to talk slow and emphasizes syllables a lot. how high (or low) is the tone of their voice? in the middle at best? his voice is naturally low but not to the point where it rumbles in his chest, just in a puberty sense. how’s their posture ( or lack thereof )? his posture is very straightened; his back, shoulders, and even legs and squared to the t. he is very confident in his posture. how does your muse typically smell? he typically smells like your average cigarette smoker and bartender; it naturally depends where you catch a sniff of him because he tends to smell like heavy musk of cologne, cigarettes, beer, and even engine oil due to his motorcycle’s exhaust. what kind of air do they carry? are they intimidating? he does carry a very ... intimidating persona by his confident aura and posture, and even his clothing. he’s more shown as ‘ the bad boy ’ or ‘ the rebel ’ than anything which either appeals to strangers or repels them, there is no in between.

PSYCHOLOGY

do they respond to stress? well, it typically depends how stressful the situation is. if it’s not as important as it should be, kihyun is known to not even care about the situation at all and probably forget that had even happened. if it’s something more dire and important, kihyun will not take it well –– he will drink, smoke, curse, scream; do anything in order to calm down because he lives a very nonstressful life so it would really take a toll on him. what makes your muse happiest? other than having sex? working, probably. he enjoys meeting new people, drunk people, and talking to them about their lives. he also enjoys napping for days, working out, eating fried chicken, clubbing, and a bunch of other things. what upsets them the most? kihyun fears being rejected and being isolated from his peers, or even falling into an addiction even though he’s a heavy drinker and smoker. kihyun rarely gets upset over anything but there are things like his family that do get him upset but it’s okay since no one really knows about his past anyway. is your muse an extrovert? an introvert? neither? kihyun will probably be the biggest extrovert that your muse will know. he’s very loud and blunt about things but does enjoy meeting people, enjoys falling in love with people even more, so it’s humorous to say that he’s introverted because he’s really the opposite. he might be difficult but he wouldn’t hesitant at all to reach out to a stranger. what is your muses worst fear? is your muse an early riser? a night owl? kihyun definitely does not do well in the morning and due to his job, has definitely been filed as a night owl at most. how intelligent is your muse? do they acknowledge it? kihyun is ... somewhat intelligent, more in a ‘ street smart ’ kind of way rather than ‘book smart ’ but he’s okay with it, really. that’s what happens when you go to school for something you don’t really love, you know?

RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES

what’s their sexual orientation? what about romantic? kihyun is definitely pansexual as well as panromantic. gender does not matter to kihyun in any sense. are they currently in any sexual or romantic relationships? he is currently in a sexual relationship with jimin, jinseon, and jinhwan. he is not in any current romantic relationship right now. how does your muse view the idea of friends with benefits? have they ever had one, or would they ever? kihyun is absolutely okay and understanding towards friends with benefits, seeing as he has many of his own. he sees it as an adult understanding when people tend to get too busy to find relationships which is acceptable in a sense since he heavily depends on getting his rocks off. sex, is it important to your muse? it is very, very, very important to kihyun and he would probably die if he wasn’t able to have sex. how important is friendship to them? very important as well because he does not see the lines between sex and friendship, though relationships on the other hand are a different story. how important is family? kihyun once had thought family meant everything but after getting kicked out of his family, it doesn’t seem as likely anymore. he does still care deeply for his mother but for his father, he’s at an understanding but he wouldn’t exactly say that the feeling is important. what are their biggest turn on and turn offs? here bc i’m too lazy to copy and paste. does your muse find it easy to make friends? yes and no. kihyun is a really easy going male but people do not tend to agree with his messy lifestyle so while he finds it easy to make friends, he also finds it easy to lose them as well. are they close to their family? why or why not ? not particularly after his father had disowned him but he is still relatively close to his mother; the two do meet in secret from time to time out of the watchful eye of his father.

HEADCANONS

born and raised in seoul

parents owned a fairly large branch of firms but in a lowkey kind of sense that didn’t make his parents all that popular

but still managed to roll in that dough

very … dependent on his parents’ money

grew to be very reckless and egotistical as a child since money had always managed to buy him out of things like getting arrested and such

managed to follow his parents’ wishes and go to school ( barely passing but eh, still same thing ) for business since his father had hoped for their only son to take over their business

but kihyun loved freedom !! so to give that up for business? he looked his father in the eye the minute he graduate and said ‘ i’m not gonna take over shit especially your firms old man !! ’ bc fuck the system !!

…which led to kihyun to be kicked out the family right after.

i mean kihyun’s mom still lowkey cared for him after he was kicked out and cut off and even slid him a lil of that $$$ right after so it wasn’t that bad

after getting kicked out of the family business, kihyun luckily found a job at some swanky bar across town which is nice !!

also luckily found a nice apartment right above the bar where he lives today

drinks and smokes a fuckload

also does a lot of cocaine lowkey

leather jackets and motorcycles are his aesthetic as fuck. as soon as his mother gave him his first payment of the month, he immediately got a motorcycle which is his choice of ride

has like .. only two tattoos tbh but wants more

a proud father of a dog and three plants !!

also a h*e

… for romance

dates around a lot. fucks around a lot. just tryna find someone who’ll match his tempo in life, ya feel ?

#♤ *:･ﾟ ’ —— ⟨ I RAN OUT OF TEARS WHEN I WAS EIGHTEEN | TASKS. ⟩#♤ *:･ﾟ ’ —— ⟨ LIKE A NIGHT OF CHAMPAGNE | AESTHETICS. ⟩#♤ *:･ﾟ ’ —— ⟨ BE AFRAID CAUSE HE’S AN UNTOUCHABLE MAN | MUSINGS. ⟩#seoultask #hell O i queued this bc im a Lame bish who didnt want 2 clog th dash #nd 2 hide this ugli ass graphic i did i Gtg !#TH I S WA SSO LONG IM SRY #fjlksjfksj

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mymentalityarises · 5 years

Text

84 Questions

Put your music player of choice on shuffle and list the first 10 songs.

1. Silk City, Dua Lipa - Electricity ft. Diplo, Mark Ronson.

2. Zara Larsson - Ruin My Life

3. Halsey - Without Me

4. Billie Eilish - when the party's over

5. Slipknot - Solway Firth

6. CueStack - Alive

7. Falling In Reverse - "Drugs"

8. Killswitch Engage - Unleashed

9. Desiigner- Panda

10. DJ Snake ft. Bipolar Sunshine - Middle

If you could spend a week anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? Would you take anyone with you? Denmark. My family is from there and I really want to see Europe. I would go alone. Or with Danish relatives.

What is your preferred writing implement? (eg. Blue pen, pencil, green pen) Black sharpie.

Favourite month and why? Early October. Because I’m a spooky bitch.

Do you have connections to any celebrities (even minor)? List them. No.

Name 3 items you could pick up from where you are. Wine bottle, pad of paper, pen cap.

What brand logo is closest to you currently? Sutter Island.

Do you ever play board games or other non-computer games? Got any favourites? Not really a board game but i love Yahtzee.

A musical artist you love that isn’t well known? Kerli.

A musical artist you love that is well known? Kurt Cobain.

What is your desktop background currently? A sunflower.

Last person you talked to, and throught what you talked to them? My mom. I was saying good night so i was okay.

First colour name you can think of that isn’t in the rainbow? Teal.

What timekeeping devices are in the room you are currently in? Thermostat, computer, phone.

What kind of headphones do you use? just regular ones? over the ear ones. nothing fancy. theyre red.

What musical artists have you seen perform live? Eric Burdon and the Animals, Beck, 21 pilots, Uncle Kracker, Avenged Sevenfold, Five finger death punch, Breaking Benjamin, a Bullet for my Valentine, Korn, Stone Sour, Ded, Yelawolf. Skillet, Bad Wolves, Nothing More, Dream Theater, Pop Evil.

Does virginity matter to you? Nah.

What gaming consoles do you or your family own? Lol none really. Might have an old ps2 somewhere. Oh and a wii.

What pets do you have? What are their names? My dog, Daisy died when I was 17. We never got another.

What’s the best job you’ve ever had? I’ll keep you posted.

What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? McDonalds.

What magazines do you read, if any? Woman’s Health sometimes. Or weed magazines. or Rolling Stone.

Inspiration behind your URL? No clue where it came from tbh.

Inspiration behind your blog title? sameeeee.

Favourite item of clothing? A baggy tee.

Are you friends with any exes? HELLLL NOOOOO.

Name at least one book you loved as a child. Any junie b jones book.

What’s your native language? If that language has distinct regional variations, which variation? (eg. AU English, US English) US Midwestern English.

What email service do you use? G-mail.

Is there anything hanging on the walls of the room you are currently in? Danish flag, Marvel poster, Nirvana poster and map of the world.

What’s your favourite number, and why? 19. My b-day and I just like it.

Earliest moment in your life you can remember? i remember a little bit from the cruise i went on when i was 3.

What did you have for dinner yesterday? scrambled eggs.

How often do you brush your teeth? i try to every day. some days depression gets the best of me.

What’s your favourite candy/chocolate? Don’t really have a favorite tbh

Have you had other blogs on Tumblr? Do you have any other blogs currently? nopeeee.

If you were suddenly really hungry, what would you choose to eat? pb & honeyy.

What fandoms would you consider yourself a part of? MARVEL.

If you could study anything, what would it be? Witchcraft and voodooism.

Do you use anything on your lips? (eg. Chapstick, gloss, balm, lipstick) sometimes liquid lipstick if i did my face that day.

How would you describe your sense of humour? Dark, a little cynical. Random.

What things annoy you more than anything else? LOL that list is entirely too long.

What kind of position are you in at the moment? Sitting at a computer.

Do you wear much jewellery? No.

Who is the leader of your country, currently? Any other levels of government with leaders? (State, region, province, county, district, municipality, etc) Idk all those people and I’m not looking it up. But stupid fucking Donald Trump is the god damn president of the United States. LUCKILY it’s his last year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last 3 blogs on your dashboard, not including any of your own? idk.

What do you carry your money in? my black and white polka dotted wallet.

Do you enjoy driving? Why or why not? most of the time yes. with traffic/construction? NOOOOOO.

Longest drive you have ever been on? However far it is to go from Michigan to Florida.

Furthest away from home you have ever been? Florida loloolll

How many times have you moved house? none.

What is on the floor of the room you’re currently in, not including furniture? a rug, a box, piano bench.

How many devices do you own which can access the internet? three.

Is there is anything that is guaranteed to always make you happy? lol yep.

Is there anything that always makes you sad? duh.

What programs do you currently have open? this and youtube.

What do you associate the colour red with? blood.

Last strong smell you can remember smelling? weed.

Last healthy thing you ate? broccoli.

Do you drink tea or coffee, and how much per day? coffee, about 2-4 cups.

What do you associate the colour blue with? water.

How long is the closest ruler you can find? 12 inches.

What colour pants/skirt/etc are you currently wearing? hot pink thong.

When was the last time you drank water? earlier.

How often do you clear your browser history? not often enough haha

Do you believe nude photos can be artistic, rather than erotic? absolutely.

Ever written fanfiction for anything? no.

Last formal event you attended? Idk if i ever have. A wedding?

If you had to move your birthday to another date, which one would you choose and why? October 31st. Obvious reasons.

Would you prefer to be at a beach or in the countryside? countrysideee.

Roughly how many people live in your town? 10,000.

Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? yes.

Favourite place to shop? Can be a certain store or a place where there are multiple stores. Any thrift store/magick store.

Do you have a smartphone? What kind? If you don’t, do you want one? yes. some samsung galaxy something idk. i want a BETTER smart phone.

What is your least favourite colour, and why? probably white. its just not a flattering color on me.

How do you spell grey/gray? greeeeeeeeeeeeeeey.

Go to your dashboard and describe the image shown in the radar section (below the “Find blogs” link) Man in a suit looking out a window, his reflection in the glass. You can see him looking at a perishing city.

What difference is there between how many followers you have, and the number of blogs you follow? -no comment-

How many posts do you have? like 200.

How many posts have you liked? too many.

Do you post mainly reblogs, or your own content? lil bit of both.

Do you track any tags? nope.

What time is it currently? 1:32 am.

Is there anything you should be doing right now? prbly sleeping. finishing my wine. other than that? no.

#survey #84questions #sadgirl #alternative #grunge #aboutme

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mountphoenixrp · 5 years

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We have a new citizen in Mount Phoenix:

Bang Yerin, who is known by no other name; a 19 year old daughter of Acat. She is a student, apprentice at Taste of Ink and a cashier at Siren’s Song.

FC NAME/GROUP: Park Chaeyoung - Rosé from BlackPink CHARACTER NAME: Bang Yerin AGE/DATE OF BIRTH: Nineteen (19) / April 16, 2000 PLACE OF BIRTH: Atlanta, Georgia. OCCUPATION: Apprentice in Taste of Ink, student in Phoenix University, and cashier in Siren’s Song. HEIGHT: 174 cm // 5’ 7’’ ft DEFINING FEATURES: The first tattoo she got was on her left shoulder blade. It was a tattoo in honor of her mother and it reads, “My mother is the heart that keeps me alive”. This tattoo is also accompanied by some stars (♛). Second tattoo she ever got was another phrase, this one is under her right breast and it takes the form of it (meaning it’s like this type of tattoo). It reads, “I was not built to break”; (♛). Behind her left ear she has a flower tattoo; (♛). Plans on getting more tattoos. Her right ear has more piercings than her left, however both have standard lobe piercings. Plans on getting more piercings.

PERSONALITY:

✔ ; Independent, humorous, enthusiastic, imaginative and courageous. ✖ ; Moody, careless, impulsive, childish and intolerant.

If you wish to understand Yerin simply think of a meadow where wild flowers roam free. She is wild and rare, hard to come by anywhere else. Her soul roams free wherever she goes and it’s hard to distinguish her independent nature with her careless one. She works well by herself, knowing what she lacks and what she has to offer. After years of living by herself Yerin does not need others to guide her – one could say she was not born to follow or lead anyone. She runs as a rogue with her path, courageous and fearless. Fear does not stop her if anything it makes drives her forward. Her enthusiasm about life and her many desires never runs out. She wakes up almost everyday with a great sense of adventure. Even so, her natural behavior is humorous and she is more likely to make a joke than to tear your head off if you try to cross her.

Yerin can be as unexpected as the weather. Her mood has different phases and each one stronger than the one before. Additionally she is driven by her emotions and is careless with her actions because of it. She will not hesitate to act recklessly. In fact, she has little regard to her future wellbeing when someone attracts Yerin she does it in that moment instead of waiting to do it. While being blind by her emotions and the occurrences of her present she can come off as childish to most. Her mannerism and perspective is quite revolutionary but the way she presents them is not the best. An example would be her stance on justice. If anyone is rude or disrespectful to any minority or marginalized groups, Yerin will not tolerate them. While she can make jokes when offended she will never stand someone that purposefully seeks the pain and injustice of others.

HISTORY: 01. The upbringing of Yerin is filled with sweet treats and midnight stories that never end. Her mother spoiled her unintentionally. As the only child of an upcoming nurse Yerin received all her mother’s attention once she was free from work. She would often be in the house of family friends and get the opportunity to play with other kids. The young girl was active and creative. Her energy would never cease and sometimes it felt like was jumping on the walls with the enthusiasm she held. Yerin was loving and fun, always looking to interact with different people. Even as a child she would talk to strangers not afraid of the consequences, this caused her mother to deal with too many headaches.

There is not one bad memory she has of her childhood. Even when the young girl got hurt she did not feel any pain. She would run around the playground nose bleeding or scratched happily. It wasn’t until others pointed out the injury that she noticed it. Her mother worried frantically whenever Yerin got hurt since she never complained about it. Yerin’s mother wondered if this was something the girl inherited from her father but she had no way of confirming it. It was all too strange to mention to anyone close to her. Instead her mother tried to raise her girl to be more aware of the possible injuries she might experience.

02. Others began to insult her once she started middle school. Kids would make faces, squint their eyes and tease her relentlessly. Yerin knew that her mother had enough on her plate, therefore, she never went to her for help instead she fought her own battles. She would hit the people that teased her either with her words or fists. However, the teachers in her school didn’t understand. They didn’t see her discrimination and racism Yerin faced when they were released for lunchtime. Instead, they saw a student with potential who got into too many fights and fell behind academically. She was never that good at school. Her mother spent endless nights by her daughter’s side working on homework and extra credit opportunities.

While Yerin did not stand out with academics, she certainly did with creativity. She saw the world in vibrant colors and would use all the paper, journals, and coloring books her mother gave her to show it. In fact, the girl would often help her mother make stories when it was close to bedtime. She would talk about weird creatures and instead of being scared, it thrilled her. Life was an adventure to her. A very unexpected adventure. While her mother worked and lived in the United States the rest of her family didn’t. And once the news that Yerin’s grandfather was ill her mother took a drastic decision to move back to South Korea, worried that Yerin would never meet her grandfather otherwise.

03. The move to South Korea hit Yerin hard. While she knew the language she didn’t know the customs or social context in which she now lived in. The people were different. It all felt too different to her. To make it worst, her grandmother was judgmental and she never hesitated to throw sharp comments to Yerin’s mother. And with the new change and different environment, Yerin started school but poorly. She had even more behavioral problems in the schools and got into more fights. Her mother grew restless between Yerin’s problems and her father’s health deteriorating. It wasn’t until she received a letter that she knew what to do. The letter spoke about a city where Yerin could live and study. It felt heaven-sent because while her mother loved her, it was all too much for her to handle.

As a result, once Yerin became fifteen her mother told her about her father. The young girl learned about the heritage she had and about the man that her mother never spoke of. It wasn’t too much for her to believe in. After all, Yerin didn’t have any other religious beliefs hence the idea of gods and monsters existing made too much sense. She visited the island the summer after her fifteenth birthday, testing the waters. The city wasn’t too odd or weird. For some reason it almost felt like any other city she had visited before. Yet she loved it. She loved the people in the city and the strange things that happened in it. And she stayed, she finished high school and decided to stay in Mount Phoenix. While Yerin doesn’t know what her life will look like in ten years, she knows that for now it’s her home.

PANTHEON: Mayan CHILD OF: Acat POWERS:

Strong Pain Tolerance: She still feels pain but feels less of it. For example, she may break a bone but have the reaction of someone who twisted it.

Enhanced Artistic Ability.

Steady Hands and Nerves.

STRENGTHS: (1) While the demigod is young, she developed a solid alcohol tolerance as she began drinking in her mid-teens. (2) As a result of Yerin’s consistent run-ins with MPPD, she is clever and quick-witted. She is able to find other routes to hide in or develop a plan in a matter of minutes to make sure she goes unnoticed by the police. (3) Yerin’s steady nerves and hands allow her to make no error when working on her art which allows her to be extremely precise.

WEAKNESSES: (1) As a result of her pain tolerance, Yerin usually doesn’t realize the immensity of her wounds and injuries which leads to her overlooking them. This can lead to her condition getting worse. (2) One of her many habits includes drinking excessively meaning than Yerin can often be found in Downtown or the Red Light district slightly intoxicated (sometimes completely wasted). (3) As a result of Yerin’s carefree nature, she does not plan ahead. She does not give enough importance to her future and her “living in the moment” motto causes her to make decisions that harm her body (health), and/or the opportunities she could gain (i.e, getting arrested could limit her job options).

#kpop rp #krp #blackpink #park chaeyoung #blackpink rose #mp; welcome

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zweihander-kindof-lesbian · 6 years

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Grave Seeker

This is my Oracle of Pharasma’s backstory and description! Thx

Takota was born in the twilight hours on the 5th of Pharast. A sacred Holiday for those who choose to devote their days to Pharasma, the goddess of death. A day where many of the dead are ferried to the afterlife in a grand procession. A day for death for those living in the Skull Clan of the Shoanti in the Northern Mountains. But for the Sun Clan to the south, It was a celebration of Life. Takota's father was considered one of the greatest champion's in the Sun Clan's History; a mountain of a man who's Given name was Axe-Breaker. Takota's mother was an accomplished soothsayer and diviner for the clan, given the name She Who Weeps For The Stone. Their son's birth was widely celebrated as the coming of a great hero; one who would take the Sun Clan to victory over their many enemies.

As the boy grew older, the hopes of him becoming a champion to rival his father dwindled. Takota was much taller than most of those his age and faster on his feet, but that's where his athletic prowess stopped. He was hestitant during daily mandated sparring, and was squeemish when it came to hunting. Takota was a very gentle soul who preferred to be out gardening with his mother, marveling at worms and beetles he found in the soil. Takota was the subject of bullying among his peers. He was weak, clumsy, quiet, gangly and above all things, Naieve. With promises of friendship or sweets, his peers would play "games" with him. These games often resulting in bruises, scratches and small wounds at their lightest to broken bones and being left in dangerous situations at their worst. Axe-Breaker would more often than not come to his aid and chase his tormentors away, knowing that his son was unfortunately too Kind to stop the teasing on his own. The lectures on standing up for himself soon turned to lessons on Self Defense. Axe-Breaker trained with his son every day for hours. When Takota turned 15, Axe-Breaker finally found out that his son excelled with ranged weapons, such as throwiing daggers and Archery. Weapons of this type were considered inferior, due to the up close and personal nature in which Sun Clan Warriors fought. Axe-Breaker was too proud of his son be bothered by the callous whispers of others. Calling Takota a disappointment to the Sun Clan, a mistake that should have been left out in the volcanic wastes. Oh, if they had only knew! Takota always heard them, and with every comment he heard, the more withdrawn he became. He would often go on hikes for hours by himself, and sometimes not return for days.

When he was 16, Takota got through his rite of passage by the skin of his teeth. In a tent filled with incense smoke and song, he was given a new name and his first tattoo. As a beautifully intricate golden sun was tattooed on the front of his neck, the elders sang of his new name to the world. Grave Seeker. Little did this new Shoanti warrior know he had been chosen for a much greater purpose by a power far beyond his comprehension. She Who Weeps For The Stone began to notice that when Grave Seeker came back from his ventures out into the wastes, he brought home Whippoorwills. A bird not native to the Cinderlands. At first he brought home one with a broken wing and he nursed it back to health. As a Diviner she knew Whippoorwills meant death was near, and she begged for the little brown bird to be kept outside the home. But after this bird came others, Whippoorwills would perch on the tree outside his window, some even brave enough to perch directly on the sil. They sang constantly, day and night and watched Grave Seeker's every move. He was plagued with dreams of him in a void of spiral shapes. There was always a woman 20 ft taller than him, her face changing from young and beautiful, to old and withered, to nothing but bone and sometimes....nothing. Nothing was always the worst. Every night he tried to speak to her, and every night She didnt speak a word. Her eyes were solemn and gray. Never blinking. He always woke up with a jolt, the sweet smell of death always lingered in the air for minutes at a time. As months went by, his mother noticed every flower Grave Seeker planted grew into a black rose, regardless of the seed he put in the ground. Beetles infested all other plants but the ones he planted. The whippoorwills grew in number in the tree by the house, their song almost deafening during the day. Eventually a tired eyed Grave Seeker sought his mother's soothsayer skills and told her of his constant visions. He also complained of headaches and short stints of lost vision.

She Who Weeps For The Stone knew exactly what these signs meant. Pharasma had chosen her son for something, but the answer evaded her. Pharasma was infamous for being silent and often vague. Fear gripped her heart as she prayed every day for something, anything from this fickle goddess. All she got for her troubles were dead birds on her doorstep and blood pooling under her fingertips. All the food her family ate tasted of soil and ash. She and her husband met with the Sun Clan elders to ultimately decide the fate of her son, who's eyesight was becoming worse by the days. The elders had decided it for the best if he was sent to the Skull Clan in the mountains. They were a stern and cold people; tasked with keeping one of Pharasma's largest cathedrals and Her sacred Boneyard where all Shoanti are laid to rest. However, Grave Seeker's Vision was too poor to make the journey on his own. So they sent with him a young warrior woman who was on her way to becoming the new champion. Storm Bringer, was a girl of 18 with a shaved head and golden eyes, She was already well covered in tattoos, in comparison to Grave Seeker's measly 2 tattoos at the same age. She accepted the job with a clenched jaw, believing they should send this weakling to the wilderness to meet his fate. Grave Seeker was actually quite excited to have this particular traveling companion. He had of heard of her many accomplishments and the clan began focusing more on her achievements rather than his failures as of late. In a way he was grateful to her.

The journey was long and perilous, and Grave Seeker proved to be absolutely useless. With his vision slowly escaping from him, he frequently ran off trails, fell into holes, and hit his head on branches. Storm Bringer got tired of stopping to treat his constant injuries very quickly and begrudgingly taught him to rely more on his other senses instead. To show his gratitude he would try his best to find flowers and various insects to show her as they rested and he would proclaim "Hey look! I found this with my sense of smell alone!! Neat huh?"

Grave Seeker talked at her often, and eventually she grew to answer some of the time....And then all of the time. By the time they reached Pharasma's Boneyard, the two had become so fond of each other that Storm Bringer was hesitant to leave him alone in this new foreign place. They eventually found their way to the dizzyingly grand Pharasmin Cathedral that sat above the town. After telling the priests of the troubles that had plagued Grave Seeker's family, they curtly told his travelling companion to say goodbye and to return home. They had been preparing a ritual for his arrival for 3 months and Grave Seeker's arrival had been prophecized in all their dreams. Time was of the utmost importance. Storm Bringer's protests fell on deaf ears and eventually she was ushered out of the cathedral and not allowed re-entry. They met just outside the cathedral before he began the ritual, his vision now a blur of shapes and colors no matter the distance from his face. There they quietly told each other their real names as well as a very heartfelt goodbye.

From then on Grave Seeker remembers only shapes and shadows with monotone chanting. He remembers descending multiple flights of stairs and as they went downwards into the catacombs, the smell of rotting flesh filled his nose. The priests' grip upon his arms tightened to almost vice like. He screamed out questions, where were they taking him??? What's going on? What did his dreams mean?? All were answered with the same monotone chanting in a language he didnt understand. Eventually the stairs stopped, and a new noise sent adreneline rushing through his veins. It was the sound of the dead. Hoarse screeching and chains rattling echoed through the air, and he began to struggle even harder, tears streaming down his face. The smell of putrid rotting flesh filled his nose making him gag. "Please...Please tell me what is happening, please....oh my Gods. I'm Sorry....I'm so sorry just tell me-" Grave Seeker sobbed before throwing up all over himself. He knew This foul smelling creature was right in front of him, he felt its sharp nails graze at his face and clothes, fear made his blood roar in his ears. "Hush now, child. If you truly do have the goddess' favor,", A male voice answered. Calm and matter of fact. "Then you truly have nothing to worry about."

Grave Seeker felt his right arm be pulled forward violently, within seconds sharp teeth sunk into his flesh, ripping off huge chunks of his arm. The more he tried to pull away the more of his arm was removed, and despite his desperate screams he was held firmly in place until whatever had its grasp on him was finished. The pain was white hot and greater than any pain he had ever known. Eventually his vision faded to black and he lost all consciousness. He woke up hours later? Maybe days? He couldn't tell if he was awake or asleep as his vision was black. He was too weak to move, too weak to scream. The priests had placed upon his head a crown of black roses, the thorns of which were digging into his temples and forehead. He attempted to move the fingers on his right hand only to find that there was nothing there to move. Before registering what truly had happened, he passed out again. This time, he dreamt. Again he was in this void with spirals all around him. The familiarity of the place brought him anxiety and he attempted to run, but soon realized there was no where to go. Immediately, he began to cry. He thought of his Mother...His Father. His brother. Of Storm Bringer. Ixa was her TrueName. He struggled to remember her face and cried even harder. "Are you quite finished?" An enigmatic voice asked, 'I need to speak with you." Her voice sounded as if a young woman, and old woman and a demon spoke in perfect unison. Finally hearing Her terrified Grave Seeker. He looked upon the 20 ft tall woman, like he had many times before. Her face was young and beautiful this time, albiet, irritated. He nodded. "Takota, You needn't be afraid. For I will not let you die....You do have purpose, though you dont believe it so." She said, her voice strangely comforting. "In you I have put great power. The power to breathe life into the dead and take it away. It is a small fraction of myself," She reasted her chin in her palm, "In return for these powers I took your sight. But you will not be blind, For I will guide you." Grave Seeker rolled his eyes. "You also took my family, My right arm, I think...my normal life and - " Pharasma's face darkened to black and a cold wind blew from where her face used to be, a terrifying howl filled the space around Grave Seeker. He curled himself up into a ball. There was silence for a millenia, at least that's what it felt like. "Oh Takota," Her voice dripping with sympathy, "please do not be frightened." She had grown to 40ft tall, and scooped him up into her palms. She held him close to her face, Her steely eyes fraught with sadness. "I am Pharasma....Goddess of Death and Birth Of fate and prophecy. And I have chosen you for something great...." She spoke slowly, the weight of her words felt like bricks on his chest. "Don't do this please....." He sighed, running his fingers over his scalp, "What do I need to do?" She blinked slowly......Grave Seeker looked at her expectantly. "You will know, Takota. You will Know." She chuckled. Grave Seeker screamed out of frustration, and woke up screaming to the priests burning his wound shut.

Description: Takota is a very tall and lanky young man. He looks to be around 24. Besides his staggering 6'7" height being the first thing you notice, The second thing would be his eyes. They are black as pitch but clouded in such a way it looks as if you were looking directly up at the night sky. There are very pronouced dark circles under his eyes, making his already gaunt features look even more skeletal. It doesnt help much that on his face is a silver metallic skull tattoo that is very stylized. He smiles gently and often,but the softness about him fades when you notice that the majority of his teeth are sharp and crooked. His hair is black and cut short on either side (very messily) leaving a short thick strip of hair going from his forehead to the back of his head. He has lots of tattoos. He has a golden sun tattooed on the front of his throat, black roses are tattooed around either of his shoulders. There are different types of spirals tattooed all over his body. His right arm is missing below his elbow. His clothes are ill fitting and almost tattered.

#Grave Seeker #Oracle

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cheerstocrazy · 7 years

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Wahh

I’ve been feeling so sad lately bc I’m about to start my period, and last week I was nostalgic as hell for past memories. I’ve only been listening to Don’t Take the Money (unplugged version), Good Guy, and 89 (Bon Iver). It sucks to feel this way. Anyway, I think last week’s nostalgia was triggered by watching The Beauty Inside with Mary and Matthew. The date was just so sweet and intimate, and ugh I just wanted something like that in real life. So I thought back to my date right before I left to NYC, and how nice it was to be with someone so down-to-earth and upfront about his intentions. Someone who understood what I was going through and could recite my feelings back to me. I felt so seen (in the best way). I can’t believe he told me, “Why’d you agree to meet me before leaving? You’re at your most vulnerable right now? So anything is fair game, right?” I was still trying to process all my emotions that week so for him to realize I was at my most vulnerable made me feel transparent and like someone actually understood my current emotions. I was so taken aback that he was able to read me. Now that I’m home and don’t have much going on -- I think back to that night. It was a perfect date/night/finale before leaving. He was just such a good guy, I wish we could’ve stayed friends afterward, but I don’t blame him for not maintaining contact. I mean no one can really put their life on hold and wait for something that’s not even a guarantee. I just felt like the rest of the world ceased to exist that night and time stopped momentarily just for us. We didn’t skip a beat and he was just so curious and he spoke 3 languages (!!!!!!!) and was legitimately woke (!!!!) I remember us sitting at the taco place all by ourselves in the corner with our kind of strange seating arrangement. Eating messily and just chatting about random things like 2 people who had known each other a while. I think me leaving made us more uninhibited and allowed for us to really enjoy the 1 night we had. I wish it didn’t have to end, I really enjoyed how kind he was and sociable. Just an all around really great human. Any girl would be lucky to have him as a friend, let alone a boyfriend. I’m sure all his invitations and effusiveness were said out of hopefulness that this would continue when I got back. I wish what he said was true. He was so well-spoken and deliberate, which I really appreciate in a human, and it’s so rare to find that in a 20 something year old - especially a software engineer!! Ugh, I’m going to cry. Anyway, that was one of my favorite nights of this year, I’ll never forget it. It was the best date I’ve ever been on, and it came at a very strange time in my life. After the Snap guy and the Dr., I just realized that good guys who understand and vibe with me will be incredibly hard to come by. My favorite moments of 2017: 1. Date with the Israeli guy before leaving to NY 2. (Best/Worst) Nice at Hair in the Dog where I threw up my intestines - the entire day. From eating Japanese food, walking through Brooklyn, finding that wicked cool bar with awesome views. Eating that bomb burger at the South American inspired place with arepas. Waiting in the Sbux to kill time and for a respite. Walking around Brooklyn lost trying to find a club. Going back to the weird bar in LES and being pestered by the Asians. Getting free drinks, ducking to escape them. Eventually running in the rain to Hair of the Dog. Stumbling upon Andrew (hot guy) who just took us into the group and bought us drinks. Dancing with Orr’s friend then him, the hand job (lol). Being piss drunk, then not knowing what happened the rest of the night. 3. Salt Flat weekend with the Brazilians. Will be one of my favorite weekends of life. They were the sweetest and funniest guys ever, I cannot believe I found them. I remember seeing them at the bus station in Potosi and thinking omg, one of them is kinna fat and if he lost some weight, he’d be skinnier. I saw they were eating hot dogs and a bag of chips. Just laughed to realize they were my roommates. 4. The jam sessions and dinner in Cusco. 5. Coachella weekend: Bon Iver, Justice, Porteon, Jai Wolf. Having Julian take care of my the entire set and just swaying with me and keeping me afloat. That was absolute euphoria and a nightmare for me. *Bon Iver ft Francis - Friends (MY FAVORITE CONCERT MOMENT EVER!) 6. The bar by PP’s apt with the fucking disgusting couple making out for 3 hours. Camaraderie is everyone in the bar clapping, snapchatting, heckling that couple. 7. San Pedro de Atacama - absolutely everything in that desert took my breath away 8. FWB Dr. those 2 weeks were pretty fun to have someone on speed dial to hang out with 9. The marathon 15 hour workday with Kathy and Daniel when we were delirious and literally just putting binders together for 5 hours. 10. Going out with the Chileans to Ex-Fabrica, the taking photos snafu lmao 11. Hanging out with Tiare on my last night in Chile. That was so fun to get day drunk and just eat and walk around. 12. WATCHING THE KILLERS FROM THE ROOFTOP IN AUSTIN!!!!! ZOMG WTF!!! 13. Gorillaz set!!! at ACL 14. I think I ran a 7+ miler this year.... 15. The Huaraz hike, sinking into the mud, standing around each night to joke around with people. 16. The entire day at Machu Picchu which WAS TOTALLY SURREAL AND MEETING THAT GROUP OF PERUVIANS!! AND THE SHORT LIL MAN WHO LOVED ME. 17. Barranco!!!! I love that neighborhood so much!! 18. Going off-roading in Sedona with the random Canadian couple we met. 19. My cute as hell South African roommate!! Eek I loved him so much 20. Hiking Montana de Siete Colores 21. Staying with the cutest Peruvian family in Ica. MY HEART, I LOVED THEM.

Best songs of the year: 1. Francis and the Lights - May I Have This Dance? 2. Rhys - Swallow Your Pride 3. Frank Ocean - Good Guy/White Ferrari 4. Bleachers - Don’t Take the Money 5. Banks - Crowded Places 6. Mura Masa - What’s It Gonna B? 7. Haim - You Never Knew 8. Lorde - Supercut/The Louvre 9. Odesza - Corners of the Earth 10. Jai Wolf - Starlight 11. Kehlani - Do U Dirty Saddest Moments of the Year: 1. August 2nd - getting the call from Eastridge to notify me that I’d been let go 2. March - Seeing Sal, getting anxious that entire weekend, having no appetite, just the lack of control I had over my body. Dealing with his texting. Getting my car towed. 3. My mother not talking to me for 8 months. That took a toll 4. Dealing with insurance for months on end to resolve nothing. 5. In Banos, Ecuador to have my parents sabotage me for the first time and tell me to come home. 6. Cusco, when my mother wouldn’t take a photo of my vaccinations to which I sobbed on the floor. 7. The endless professional shitting -- all the you’re going to get hired/promoted blah blah. Nope 8. June 13th - when Bryan told me he was leaving the company. My heart sunk. Honorable Mentions: 1. Colombian straggler 2. Date with the tall ass weirdo who made me not date for 6 months afterwards lol 3. HEAVING AND PUFFING AND DYING AT LAGUNA 69 OMG KILL ME This was such a hard year for me mentally, physically, emotionally. I’m looking back and even though I did have lots of good moments (due to my South America trip), it was mostly a year that tested me. I just felt like I got walked all over and was taken advantage of. I felt so small most of the year at work and like my value wasn’t realized. It was a lot of feeling hopeful only to get crushed immediately, which I guess is what life is. It was so taxing for me to be at work and just not progress professionally and getting lead on. I didn’t deserve that at all. My best couple of months came from me being laid off, so I guess there’s that silver lining? Boys wise, this year didnt’ work out too well, lots of ghosts coming back into my life and another unsuccessful year of dating. My mother and I didn’t speak to each other for most of the year, which was ridiculous. There was a really big life event this year, and I definitely needed her to be there for me, and she wasn’t. That’s a year we’ll never get back, and I can’t really talk about it without crying. She’s talking to me again, but you don’t get to shut me out of your life for 8 months with no valid reason to talk to me again like nothing happened. This isn’t how it works. I don’t think our relationship will be able to come back after that, especially post election. It was just a really hard time for me, and it would’ve been nice to have a maternal figure for venting. I guess that’s when your friends come in. I remember being in the jacuzzi talking to Tam, and she told me about what my mom said and how she felt while I was away and like her heart sunk. And I was like what about me??? I don’t even know why she’s upset. I just teared up, I couldn’t take it anymore. Especially after my trip, and coming back to reality. I just wanted to disappear for most of this year because I felt so insiginificant, and that’s why I ran off to South America. I wanted anonymity but under my call, not someone else making me feel invisible. All I wanted this year was to be seen and heard, and that rarely happened. This was such a hard year for me, I still can’t get over how difficult it’s been. At least I sleep a lot not and am not stressed out. I need to move. 2018 goal: MOVE OUT OF CALIFORNIA!!!

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