#ft. nessian

[theladyofdeath]

Valentines prompt?

Feysands first Valentine’s Day after having nyx?

A/N: I love this prompt! Thank you for sending it in and I hope you enjoy. x

Warnings: none, pure fluff

prompt requests

"Nyx is fine."

"But what if he's not?"

"Then they would've called."

"They haven't called."

"Exactly." Rhysand was trying his best to be patient, but Feyre knew that he was getting annoyed. Being their first date night after having Nyx, Feyre was an absolute mess while Rhysand was the epitome of calm. "We're going out, we look hot, it's Valentine's Day, and we're going to enjoy ourselves, damn it."

With a dramatic sigh, Feyre settled deeper into the passenger seat as Rhysand drove around the parking garage, looking for an open spot. His hand snuck across the center console and took her hand, easing her anxiety, just a smidge.

Yet, when he parked and cut the engine, Feyre didn't move. "I'd feel better if I just called."

Rhysand gave her a look but didn't argue as she took her phone out of her clutch and found Nesta's number.

She didn't answer.

Then she called Cassian.

Who also didn't answer.

When she was just on the verge of panic, her phone vibrated and she slid her finger across the screen as she brought it to her ear. "What the hell?!"

Nesta's calm voice came through the phone. "Aren't you supposed to be enjoying yourself?"

"I told you she wouldn't even last an hour." Cassian's voice came from somewhere in the distance.

Feyre scowled. "I just...wanted to make sure that he had everything he needed."

"You packed enough for him to last the entire weekend and then some." Nesta chuckled. "I know you're worried, and that's perfectly normal, but you know that he's perfectly taken care of. He just ate and fell asleep with Cass in the rocking chair. Yes, he gave us a good burp, and we're about to take him upstairs to change him and get him ready for bed." Feyre opened her mouth to cut in, but Nesta kept going. "If anything goes wrong, I'll call you right away, but it won't. This sweet baby loves his Auntie and Uncle's house."

Feyre knew that. It was the only reason that she even agreed to letting Nyx stay the night there while she and Rhys enjoyed their first date night since the baby had been born, three months before. She was glad Nyx was handling the separation okay, even if Feyre herself was going insane.

"Alright, well, I'll be there no later than nine tomorrow morning," Feyre said, while Rhysand impatiently clicked his tongue.

"I know, you've told me a million times," Nesta said, not unkindly. "Please try to have fun. We have everything under control."

"Okay, okay," Feyre said, throwing open her door, to Rhysand's delight. "Thank you."

After a round of I love you's and farewells, Feyre and Rhysand were walking out of the parking garage and onto the city streets. He took her hand and pulled her close, trying his best to bring her into reality.

"I know it's hard," he said, gently, "and I miss him too, but I'm excited to be here with you. I miss being alone with you."

Feyre missed that, too. It's weird going from a couple to a family of three. One day, all your focus is on each other and the next, every bit of your attention is on someone else, leaving no time to build each other up, to focus on one another's needs.

She stopped and faced him, nearly a block from their restaurant. As his brows furrowed in confusion, Feyre leaned up on her toes and kissed him, slowly. His hands snuck around her waist and he pulled her closer to him, sinking into their kiss. For just a moment, the rest of the world faded away and they were the only two that remained.

Feyre leaned back, just enough to see the mischief in her husband's eyes. "Let's go eat. Get full. A little drunk. Then take me home and maybe you'll get lucky."

A brow quirked. "Maybe?"

"I don't want to seem too forward," she teased.

Rhysand grinned. "Yes, because that would be awful."

With a laugh, feeling much more relaxed, Feyre kissed him again before dragging him down the street to make their reservation.

[marvelsmylife]

ACOTAR Masterlist

Azriel

Secret’s out

The orange peel theory

Off Limits

Rumor has it

Can you feel my heart breaking? Part two

His Hugs <3

Hidden Family

Sisters Know Best

Her Touch

Damned if you do, Damned if you don’t

One Steps Forward, Two Steps Back

Begin Again

Jealousy, Jealousy

Confrontation

Jealous Mate

We’re going to be ok

Escaping Reality

Too Late (featuring Eris)

Training is in session

Her innocence is gone

Blood Rite

Too innocent for your own good

Scars (one) (two)

Everything has changed (ft Eris)

Cassian

Baby blues

Don’t go

Stay with me

Enchanted

That Damn Lingerie Gift

Rhysand

Red

Not as it seems

Protecting his high lady

I think I wanna marry you

No one touches his high lady

An unconventional love story

These wings are made to fly

Eris

Arranged Marriage

First and last time

Everything has changed (ft. Eris)

Elain

Elain’s Lesbian Awakening

Mor

Seeing Red

Feysand x reader

Azriel x reader x Cassian

Two is better than one

Nessian x reader

Chosen mates

[wishcamper]

Class is in Session

Welcome to Prythian University, where I intend to write many unhinged long-form essays on cultural issues in the ACOTAR world!

Disclaimer: You will see me at times reference my credentials as a licensed mental health professional. Nothing I say is a substitute for real therapy or mental health care. To the best of my ability, I will reiterate my credentials on every post when I am intentionally speaking from a professional perspective. All other posts are personal and should not be regarded in a professional context. I am always happy to answer questions!

Almost all posts contain sensitive topics, and while content warnings are included, this material is generally not fit for anyone under 18.

COMPLETED

Nesta, Interrupted: gendered perceptions of alcoholism in ACOSF

Don't Worry Feyre, Darling: the relationship anxiety to coersive control pipeline

Gone Baby Gone: birth control and the ethics of risky sex

All in the Family: ACOTAR and Bowenian family systems theory, PART I | PART II | PART III | PART IV

Heavy Lies the Crown: Rhysand, greatness, and the pressures of power

On Nesta and Alcoholism

Models for writing believable trauma

FICS

A Court of Vice and Victors - ACoSF rewrite. pro nesta, pro healthy nessian, ic critical, everyone is capable of change ft alcoholism taken seriously and family dysfunction examined. 23/40.

ACOVAV Bonus Chapters - missing moments from my main fic, usually from side character POVs. 5/?

Killing Amren - Killing Eve-inspired one-shot where Nesta and Amren have an Eve/Villanelle dynamic. COMPLETE.

Dark Matter - Gwynriel modern grad student AU where Gwyn runs a sleep lab. 1/?

NON-ACADEMIC THOUGHT LOOPS

meditations on motivations at the beginning of acosf

the culpability (or not) of mor

on the politics of healing while loving, and loving while healing

Why is pre-acofas nessian compelling

Just and unedited thought dump about Mor and The Buffer

IN THE PIPELINE

Your Epidermis is Showing: bias, culture, and when authors accidentally tell the truth

Daddy Issues and Daddy Issues: the aesthetics of female trauma

We Need to Talk About Kevin Azriel: sanctioned violence and private atonement

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Trauma: birth order, family roles, and why siblings have different childhoods.

[lovemyromance]

Let's Deep Dive into Niche Elriel Moments! (Part 1/??)

So to preface this, I just want to say it's going to be a pretty long post. And y'all have seen my normal posts, so just be warned, this one is going to be thicccc. I wanted to specifically talk about the way Azriel views both himself, and Elain, in the context of the infamous BC ft. a hint of Nessian & Feysand.

In the ACOSF BC, we get Azriel's POV for the very first time. And lo and behold, his thoughts are centered around Elain. Her hair looks like the sun at dawn and we find out he brought her a gift and thinks about her so much that he loses sleep. I'm sure that entire POV is imprinted in our brains right now, so I won't rehash it too much.

What I want to talk about is Azriel's feelings toward himself, and towards Elain. A lot of the argument we see from the other side of the fandom is that Azriel has such bad self-esteem issues, he considers touching Elain to be tainting her pure innocence. He is concerned the blood staining his hands makes him undeserving of her love, her attention. That belief is further "validated" in his head by that the Cauldron paired Elain up with Lucien, not him.

The antis seem to think (yk, when they're not contradicting themselves and calling him an incel) that Azriel holds Elain in such high regard, puts her on such a pedestal that he feels so undeserving of her love.

And honestly? They're right. He does put her on a pedestal. He does view her as some kind of beautiful, compassionate, goddess. He does think his sins will taint her perfect skin.

But then I must ask the question - Is that bad?

Antis are focusing on the "self-hatred" part of what Azriel feels when he thinks of Elain. They claim that because he holds her on a pedestal, they are not equals. That he will be insecure and doubt himself constantly alongside her. They argue that is not a foundation for love.

And honestly? They're right again. Two people cannot be soulmates (human terms, not SJM mates) at a given moment, if one of them has such self-deprecating thoughts around the person who they seem to revere above all else.

Note: At a given moment

People are so focused on Azriel's "self-hatred" they are ignoring that his entire POV gave us a peek into his head, and hinted at his future journey with Elain.

Because when you love someone (and they love you back), even if you initially had them on a pedestal, together, you learn to bridge that self-imagined gap.

You learn to love yourself, and you learn the other person's flaws, and you realize you love them anyways. Their love for you helps you realize that you deserve love. You deserve their love. They see you for who you are, all the little parts you try to hide away from prying eyes, everything you're ashamed of - and they love you anyways.

It's crazy to me how people can't see what is happening with Azriel's feelings towards Elain - and how it is a direct mirror to Nesta and her feelings toward Cassian. Even similar to how Rhys felt about Feyre.

Nesta also felt like she was an awful being. Someone who felt guilt over her father's death, her relationship with her sisters, everything she had done had weighed on her and turned her bitter and cold and she also felt underserving of the bright light that was Cassian. She called him names and fought and bickered with him endlessly, but we see from her own words that she felt like she didn't deserve Cassian. Not because she was had a title/status -> those were the reasons that Cassian put her on a pedestal.

He felt like a "low-born bastard" was never going to be good enough for someone like Nesta, someone who was destined to wed a Prince or a duke or a king. He had placed her on a pedestal because she was too good for him on the surface level. But Nesta also thought Cassian was just as far out of reach because she felt his kindess, his nature was too good for her. She felt like she didn't deserve him. He felt like he didn't deserve her.

They healed together. Through their love for each other, they discovered that they themselves were worth loving.

Let's look at Rhys & Feyre. Specifically Rhys, who considered himself so undeserving of a family, of a mate that he didn't dare to even hope for such a future.

Sounds familiar?

Good. It should. Azriel is exhibiting the exact same theme of feeling undeserving of love, feeling like he's not good enough for Elain, thinking his sins would ruin her, thinking she'd be disgusted if she knew what he'd done - all these are literally exactly how SJM writes her tortured angsty pairings.

The MMC always feels undeserving of the FMC's love. They find out they are equals - together. It's not a question of matching strengths or opposites attract or like calls to like. It is literally a question of do they love each other and accept each other, allowing them to finally feel proud of who they are themselves.

We haven't even received Elain's POV yet, but I am sure we will hear the exact same inner thoughts reflecting how she doesn't feel good enough for Azriel, she's not a warrior, she's just some poor human girl turned fae. We haven't even heard her story yet, heard her thoughts and what makes her tick.

They might not consider themselves to be equals - but that's how all of SJM's pairings start. They learn and grow together. People are acting like Elriel can't be together because "they're not equals" is crazy especially when you consider we haven't even started their story.

That's like if I began ACOMAF and was like - "Rhys & Feyre can't be together, Rhys is a high lord and Feyre is just turned fae - it would never work"

Or if I read ACOFAS and decided "Um sorry but Nesta seems like a dick. Cassian deserves better and to be loved. Nesta isn't his endgame."

And all it took was one book - one story centered around them to get these couples together. They didn't get together in a BC of someone else's book. They got the time they needed to learn to love each other and themselves.

I don't know why y'all think Elriel would be any different.

[separatist-apologist]

Overboard AU ft Nessian

[redr0sewrites]

Acotar Masterlist

Eris Vanserra:

Eris Vanserra Oneshot- Overworking

Sub!Eris Drabble - nsfw

Jealous Sex - Eris Vanserra x gn!reader - nsfw/smut

Cassian:

Strong!Inexperienced!Subs imagine - nsfw/smut

Multi- Character

Switch!Men Thirst - nsfw - (ft: Eris, Azriel, Cassian)

Mating Frenzy Hcs - Nessian x reader - smut/nsfw

[moononastring]

↠ SJM Fanfic Masterlist

Below you will find all my SJM fanfic linked! Thanks for reading and enjoy :) | PLEASE NOTE: All fanfic has been updated and uploaded to @lucienarcheron my main blog!

🌹 A Court of Thorns and Roses

🦊🌸 Elain Archeron x Lucien Vanserra [ Elucien ]

Bouquet Full of Loathing Rated SFW | Fluff & Humor Flower Shop Modern AU - Person A owns a flower shop and person B comes storming in one day, slaps 20 bucks on the counter and says, “How do I passive-aggressively say fuck you in flower?” | 

Bouquet Full of Love Rated SFW | Fluff & Humor Elain visits Lucien at work, new bouquet in hand.

The Sun Rated SFW | Fluff/Angst Elain has a nightmare and turns to her mate for soothing.

No Place I'd Rather Be Rated SFW |  Fluff with a smidge of angst. Elain's visions giving her nightmares that can only be soothed by one person.

 A Light Against the Darkness   Rated SFW | Angst/fluff Lucien battles his own nightmares with Elain there to soothe him.

Forget Me Not Rated SFW | Fluff Drunk Elain and her shenanigans.

Boys Night Out Rated SFW | Humor & fluff Drunk Lucien and his shenanigans. – companion to Forget Me Not. 

Sleeping Beauty Rated NSFW-ish | Fluff ‘Wake me up’ kisses because foxboy and flower girl can't help themselves.

A Fox and a Flower Crown Rated NSFW-ish | Fluff + Humor Elain has a vision and it, uh, has her feeling all types of ways.

Tales of the Fox & the Fawn A series of short snippets to fill my Elucien heart.

Around the World - Part 1 | Part 2 | Bonus Rated NSFW |  Prostitute/Client AU for laughs.

An Unexpected Visit Rated SFW | Fluff Drunk Lucien visits Elain at an inappropriate hour.

Quiet Thunder - Part 1 | Part 2 Rated SFW | Angst | Lucien expresses his frustrations to Elain. Elain follows up.

Morning Pranks Rated SFW | Fluff.

First Kisses Rated SFW | Fluff.

Instincts - Part 1 | Part 2 Rated SFW Lucien follows his instincts when it comes to Elain. It's the start of something new.

Frenzy Rated NSFW Elain and Lucien like to spend their yearly mating anniversary fully wrapped in each other, sinking into a frenzy.

A Simple Request Rated NSFW-ish. A still shy Elain finds a different way to tell her mate what she wants.

Inspiration Rated NSFW | Modern AU Aspiring writer Elain Archeron is looking for some inspiration for her new novel when she happens to meet the perfect man for the job.

Oh, What a Night (Elucien + Nessian)Rated SFW | Fluff Nesta and Elain’s first Starfall, the two celebrating it in different ways.

Drabbles

-

🍂 Eris Vanserra

Spirit Meets the Bones Rated M | Eris x Iris (OC) | Drama & Romance An arranged marriage brought them together and beneath all the hate, the two are more alike than they’d like to be.

-

✨🖌Feyre Archeron x Rhysand [ Feysand ]

Big Baby Rated SFW | Humor & fluff | Modern AU Rhys gets drunk at the bar and calls Feyre to rant about how much he loves her. 

All It Takes is A Wingman Rated SFW | Humor & Fluff | Modern AU ‘Hey I’m sorry to bother you but I’m trying to convince my friends I’m a sex god so can you please write a fake number on this napkin for me real quick’

Do the Do Rated SFW | Rhysand x Reader (but really it’s Feyre) | Fluff & Humor Rhysand taking care of your ridiculously drunk self.

-

⚔️🔥 Nesta Archeron x Cassian [ Nessian ]

Bouquet Full of Lust (ft. Elucien) Rated SFW | Fluff & Humor Nesta gets a little taste of sisterly revenge. | Read after Bouquet Full of Love and Bouquet Full of Love

Oh, What a Night (Nessian + Elucien) Rated SFW | Fluff Nesta and Elain’s first Starfall, the two celebrating it in different ways.

Banned by the Boss Rated SFW | Fluff & Humor  Nesta pulls a mama bear move and bans both mating bonds of her sisters.  

Till the Darkness Dies Rated SFW | Angst and fluff Nesta’s battle against her inner demons.

Butter My Muffin Rated SFW | Fluff Nesta being a very soft girlfriend in private with Cassian combined with how I picture Drunk!Nesta.

Protect & Serve Rated SFW | Fluff Nesta has a nightmare and just wants to make sure Cassian is okay.

My Remedy Rated SFW | Fluff Cassian helps Nesta overcome her fear of the bathtub.

Change of Pace Rated Steamy | Modern AU “I chickened out of sex ages ago and you haven’t brought it up since but now I really want it, but I'm terrible at communication, so let me just strip shirtless/model lingerie for you until you snap”

Weakness Rated SFW | Steamy fluff Cassian does love his mate.

My Curse to Bear Rated SFW | Steamy fluff | Modern AU Based on the prompt “Matching couple shirts that say “bearer of the curse” on one of them and, “the curse” on the other”

-

⚫️ Azriel

Choices - [ Gwynriel ] Rated NSFW-ish. Gwyn makes choices for her happiness.

An Ember Among the Shadows Rated PG-13/M | Azriel x Lucy (OC)  | Drama and romance  A sibling reunion, new friendships forged, and a possible attempt at finding love. A story about our favorite Shadowsinger. | DISCONTINUED.

A Not So Secret Affair Rated SFW | Azriel x Reader | Azriel slipping up about his not-so-secret love.

-

💥Crackship: Feyrhycien (Feyre x Rhys x Lucien)

 Ice Cream Delights Rated: SFW | Modern AU “God damnit, now all I can think about right now is you licking my cock like it’s that ice cream cone.”

 Barbie & Her Two Kens Rated SFW | Modern AU Bored/Drunk Feyre bothering her boys 

-

👑 Throne of Glass

Boner for You - Elide & Lorcan [ Elorcan ] Rated SFW | Humor & fluff  Fake Dating AU where Lorcan just wants Elide to be his girlfriend for a party and Elide wants to pretend she isn’t thrilled about it.

-

✨ Tumblr Prompts ( ACOTAR & TOG )

Masterlist

[ae-neon]

Hi, I'm Eon. I like to write, ramble and rant.

find whatever you like

I'm not an expert or an unbiased source of objective truth. Feel free to browse and chat even if we don't like the same things

this is a shortcut to some of my main posts

Things I've written

Cold Case Crimes: The Archeron Sisters (True Crime AU)

Summer and The Stranger (Tarquin and Cresseida not related, mates AU)

Tamlin x Nesta - Teach Me How To Play? (Human Nesta dances to win the heart of the High Lord of Spring)

Nesta dreams of just before the winter when everything changed (short snippet)

Amren x Nesta - 21/03/23 (Blood drinking ft Enby Amren)

Tamlin x Feyre - 23/03/23 (Tamlin takes care of Feyre)

Lucien x Nesta - 14/03/23 (Human Nesta in Spring)

Cresseida x Nesta - 15/12/22 (Nesta loves her wife)

Azriel x Nesta - 18/03/23 (They visit a sex club)

Lucien x Nesta - 21/03/23 (Fake dating + First kiss)

rambles on the ACOTAR series

Why Jurian Matters (racism)

Nesta's Role and Responsibility During the Cabin Years

Illyria Doesn't Work

Stop Saying Pre ACOSF Nessian was Good

Fae Are 1st World, Humans Are 3rd World

Nessian Was a Bad Ship Pre ACOSF Too

How Do You Begin an ACOTAR Fanfic

Mama Archeron"s Promise Was to Nesta, Not Feyre

Fun ACOTAR Ships

Not Fun Ship Wars

ACOMAF Suffers and Benefits From Feyre’s POV

Feyre vs Nesta (not really)

Feyre vs Nesta (not really) pt 2

ACOSF is an Incel Revenge Fantasy

Spring Court > Night Court

ACOTAR is Confusing

The Inner Circle are Too Old

Anti Feysand isnt Anti Feyre

Illyrian Men + White Women

ACOSF Nesta isn't Nesta

[addieslibrary]

Azriel 5

* means smut, minors do not interact

Series

Falling part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 💀

Wings of Dusk part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 💀

Lease of Life part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 💀

Moving On part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 💀

Exile part 1 part 2 💀

Ceilings part 1 part 2 part 3

Overwritten part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5* part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 part 11 ✔️

Love Potion (ft. Nessian and Elain) part 1*💀

Recon part 1 💀

Nightlight part 1 part 2 💀

Bloody Knuckles and the Songs of Death part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6* 💀

Never Been Good Enough Left in Regret Why Can’t We I’m Sorry ✔️

I Didn’t Ask for This part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 part 11 part 12 ✔️

Oneshots

Forgotten Birthday

Good Nights Sleep*

Buttons

Unwind*

Semicolon of life check warnings <3

Delicate

What I want most

Avoidance

I’ll be at the door, hoping you’ll come around

The Final Act

Smexy headcanons*

Experiment

Enemy of my enemy

Soft Spot*

Locked Doors check warnings, babes

Gonna hold you

Attention

Her smile

Idiot* 🤍

Wake me up

I really don’t think now’s the best time

Deserving check warnings, lovie

[duskcourtqueen]

The Alcott by The National ft Taylor Swift is giving me hella Nessian feels this fine morning🥹😭❤️

[barneswinchester]

ACOTAR MASTERLIST

all my favourite acotar fics <3

AZRIEL

fluff & angst🤍

reunited

favorite crime

just hold on

yours to keep and cherish

taken

court of nightmares

feelings of importance

starlight

book worm

the hewn city

felt too much

my angel

safe haven

blanket attack

back from a mission

surprise

damsel in distress

midnights

protective

smut👅

flame and ash

prey (ft. gwen)

pierced

connected

patch me up

breed me

call me daddy

experimenting

distraction

two illyrians (ft. Cassian)

on the floor

wrongly accused

baby (ft. Cassian)

punishment

dark drabble (ft. feyre, rhys, azriel, cassian)

assistance

distracted

fuck me properly or I'll find someone else to do it

catch me if you can

RHYSAND

fluff & angst🤍

coming home

torment

save me

smut👅

mafia

kinks

dark drabble (ft. feyre, rhys, azriel, cassian)

an unquenchable hunger (ft. feyre)

surprises (ft. azriel)

peacock feathers

just one more

CASSIAN

fluff & angst🤍

need him

afraid

just a little blood

back to what I know

who did this to you

what about me?

smut👅

jealous

thighs

two illyrians (ft. Azriel)

baby (ft. Azriel)

dark drabble (ft. feyre, rhys, azriel, cassian)

hurt me

LUCIEN VANSERRA

fluff & angst🤍

a glimpse

young love

mate

smut👅

solstice

snark

ERIS VANSERRA

fluff & angst🤍

pain

smut👅

a reminder

fingers

equinox

NESSIAN X READER

fluff & angst🤍

as long as I have you

smut👅

mated

anticipation

lazy mornings

behind cracked doors

FEYSAND

smut👅

beg for it

BAT BOYS

fluff & angst🤍

ex's are assholes

doe eyes

jealousy is a bad look

smut👅

calling them bro

the magic number

payback

first time

brat squared

blurb

heat wave

sending nudes

wicked games

hungry for more

double duty

[nessiandaily]

Breakfast in Bed ft. Nessian

artist: jemlin_c [instagram]

[vidalinav]

Stu(died)- Chapter 4

Summary: Nesta weighs the pros and cons of dating Cassian ft. Tailgating 

Nessian Modern AU-university setting.

Masterlist, Stu(died) Chapter List

AN: On second thought... don’t care to edit this. It is what it is. 

~

"Do you want to go dinner?” Cassian yawns, stretching from where he sits across from her, his arms reaching toward squared ceiling tiles. Nesta watches as that hoodie pulls over his chest. All languid muscles taut and tight.  

His words are nonchalant, a bit casual, but they still make Nesta gape as if he says something shocking. Nesta’s gaze quickly returns to her book.   

Chemistry. Biology. Genetics... What are they learning today?   

“Why would we do that?” Nesta asks. She tries to say the words with as little feeling as possible, but a crease forms between his brows. She knows her words must sound strange. Panicked and high-strung. Nesta coughs, clearing her throat as if that might erase her tone—explain her pitch. 

Still, the silence of the library makes her think of confessions... of warm soup and consistency. She tries to think of his grades instead. His penchant for showing up late. His terrible habit of staring at her lips instead of paying attention.   

It was a fever dream, Nesta reminds herself. Her temperature rising so high who knows what really happened in her room when she set her arm on his.   

“Because we’ve been here for four hours,” Cassian drawls, raising a brow, “and I know for a fact you haven’t eaten, and I obviously haven’t eaten so let’s go get food!”   

“Together?” It’s an obvious conclusion, and the word seems idiotic coming out of her lips. They’ve gotten food together before. 

His favorite restaurant, in fact, is a Thai place tucked behind two apartment complexes. Beyond potholes and construction, in dark corners where their respective residences are. No one even knows it’s there most days, but Cassian knows. He finds it somehow. Like pulling some random book off the shelf, discovering every beloved word as he turns the next page. Cassian suggests going there every chance he gets. The flavors never boring or abysmal.  

Nesta wants to ask him how he makes decisions so easily, how he can stick with something once he’s made up his mind. Why choose this one out of all the rest? 

Cassian seems to pause at her question and Nesta forgets which one she’s asked. He’s probably wondering if she’s still sick from his look of concern. 

Perhaps she is. 

The act of breathing weighs heavily on her chest, her face is hot at the cheeks.   

“I was assuming we’d go together. We always have.”  

We is an intimate word and Nesta’s not sure if she likes that sound. It’s intimidating and secretive, as if they share stories over brunch when the two of them are only meant for study session in libraries. 

“I’ll see if Gwyn and Emerie can come,” Nesta says in a rush. She grabs her phone, already swiping through apps. Heaven forbid, she be alone with this man at a restaurant.   

“Alright... We can go to Belinda’s then.”     

“Why would we go there?” Nesta sputters.   

Cassian frowns outright at her question, “because you haven’t gone all week...”  

“So?”  

“You go every week. It’s your favorite place.”   

Nesta knows that but how does Cassian know that?  

"I’m assuming you haven’t gone, since you were still sick last week.” 

She hasn’t. He’s right about that. She was sick and she had to study. She was sick and he was there... he was watching--confessing.     

“Do you feel sick?” Cassian asks. She doesn’t even notice him moving towards her, but suddenly his hand is on her forehead. 

Nesta slaps it away. “What are you doing?”  

“Checking your temperature.” 

Nesta shakes her head, already gathering her things. “Let’s just go before I change my mind.” 

She watches as Cassian does the same, putting away notebooks and pencils he’s barely touched. He doesn’t act as if anything is different, but he should. She’s not the one who confesses feelings better left unsaid. 

Why does he mention it at all, Nesta wonders. He must know she’s going to say no, pull away, push past him. It annoys her that he gets to stand there, picking up notes that she’s filled. All nonchalant, because he doesn’t have to contemplate any of this. 

It makes her want to scream at how calm he is... so she heads for the nearest exit, instead. Cassian brushes against her, and Nesta punches at the elevator keys like she holds something against them.  

“You’ll tell me if you feel bad, though. Right?” 

His gaze surveys her, up and down as if looking for any sign that something is wrong. A headache or a fever or a temper gone hot.   

Something is wrong, she wants to say. 

But Nesta crosses her arms, clenching her teeth. 

No sense in giving him what he wants. 

~

Gwyn looks tired as she lays her head in her arms. Nesta supposes she shouldn’t have begged them to come. She shouldn’t have told them it was an emergency. Not when Gwyn has been up these past nights for essays or Emerie has her multitude of clubs. But Nesta can’t help it. She’s panicking.  

Gwyn groans, “Why couldn’t we come on Saturday like usual?”  

Nesta doesn’t know how to explain the situation without revealing what Cassian’s said and she doesn’t have much time. He goes to the bathroom as soon as they come in and the restaurant is small. Nesta lowers her voice, afraid he might hear beyond wallpaper. “Because I need you to see if you notice anything different.”  

“Different how?” Emerie asks, frowning.  

Nesta tries to find the words, trying to think of something romantic for her analogy. All she can think about is soup. “Like he’s going to buy me roses...”  

Emerie turns to Gwyn with a quizzical brow and they both look at Nesta like she’s grown two heads.  

“Or sing serenades,” Nesta continues, “Or... buy me a dog so I’ll be forced into a co-parent relationship that I’ll have to spend fourteen to sixteen years not regretting for the sake of its mental wellbeing.”  

Gwyn rests her chin on her palm, pursing her lips. “Are you still sick? Do you need to go home?”

“Cassian said he likes me!” Nesta blurts. The volume of her words has her peering over her shoulder, but he’s still nowhere in sight and for that she breathes a sigh of relief.  

Emerie snorts. “Is that news to you? Please tell me you’re not serious.”  

“Well, it wasn’t serious, but I can’t stop thinking about it!”  

Nesta thinks about it when she tutors him on Monday and Wednesday. When they walk back home after each session. When she looks out the window to the frat house next door, no matter how belligerently stupid she thinks all of them are. She wants to know if she’s going insane. If the flu killed off a few brain cells. The ones that thought rationally. That put classes before everything else.  

“Do you like him?” Gwyn asks, her voice cautiously curious.  

“No,” Nesta says almost too fast. She shakes her head as if that might convince them. “Of course not.”  

"But could you? Like him I mean.” Emerie shrugs a shoulder, and Nesta can tell she’s trying to hide away a teasing smirk. “He is dreamy, even I have to admit... Do you dream about him Nesta? All those muscles and the tight shirts. That floral scrunchy that can make panties drop.”  

“I hate you.”  

Emerie laughs a bright, loud sound. Nesta crosses her arms. She can feel the heat rising to her cheeks.    

“What’s so funny?” Cassian asks.  

Nesta shirks back at the sound of his voice.

“Nothing!” They call out together.    

Cassian looks at them strangely, but Nesta doesn’t say a thing. Instead she grabs the menu, setting it up to hide her face.

She shouldn’t have come tonight. Shouldn’t have told him she’d eat with him or invite them. She could have just told him she was tired. He would have understood. Cassian was always so understanding...

No, Nesta thinks. She shouldn’t think of such things.

“So, Cassian, how tall are you?”

Nesta shoves down the menu to stare at Emerie who waves her away with a slight of her hand. As if to say go back to your menu.

She hates them. She’s serious.

“6’3... Why?”

“Just wondering,” Emerie shrugs. “It’s the perfect height for reaching tall places like... bookshelves. Especially when you’re short as Nesta.”

“I’m 5′7,” Nesta scoffs. “I’m tall.”

“That’s a pretty average height, actually,” Gwyn says, taking a sip of her water.

“The average height is 5′4.”

Emerie waves her off, “barely a difference.”

“Nesta’s tall,” Cassian agrees. “If not by her height, then for her attitude. She’s seven feet in my eyes.”

Gwyn tilts her head at that, looking to Emerie. Emerie frowns as if that confuses her. Nesta doesn’t know how she feels about it either, so she manages a, "thank you?”

“Oh, it’s definitely a compliment. I’ve never met anyone as sure as you.” Cassian smiles. A little too genuine for a inane conversation about height. “You walk through this world like you know exactly who you are and what you want. I admire that... even wish I was more like that sometimes.”

Nesta forces herself to pull away from his gaze, those warm hazel eyes that say too much and too little, all at once. She returns to looking at the menu. Sticky beige and brown. Words floating on pages. Absolutely no pictures that she can focus in on and pretend she doesn’t hear what he says.

It means nothing, she thinks. So he... fears her. She’s intimidating and he admires that. Good for him.

"Are you all ready to order?”

They turn to the waitress and Nesta sighs in relief at the blessed distraction. She never did like being the center of anyone’s watchful eyes. If it was up to her, no one would even know her name. 

Nesta orders her favorite. The same thing she always gets, but Cassian probably knows that already. She swears he sees him mouth the words as she says it. 

Cassian knows too much. An unfair advantage... she’ll have to dig up dirt on him just to catch up. 

So, Nesta watches him as he talks, beaming up at the waitress like they’re old friends. Cassian is better at casual chit-chat than she is. If she was him surrounded by people he really couldn’t call his friends, she’d be looking at her phone, to the window, her notes. Anything that makes her look busy, so she isn’t forced to smile when she needs to... not that she ever smiles when she should. 

Socializing is exhausting, but Cassian makes it look easy. His face is entirely too expressive. If he ever wants to lie, he wouldn’t be very good. Maybe that’s a good thing--a bad thing for him--but a good thing for her, because he’d never be able to deceive her. 

That thought brings her comfort, somehow. 

“I’ve been trying to convince Nesta to go to the game with us.” 

Nesta grimaces at the mention of her name. She isn’t paying attention and her Emerie raises a mischievous brow knowing exactly what has caught her eye. 

“Come tailgating with me! All of you!”  

Nesta’s keen on objecting, but when she opens her mouth, Emerie is already answering. “We’re in!” 

“No. I am not in.”  

“What? Why not?” Cassian asks, as if he doesn’t already know. 

“I have to work!” The words sound loud and Nesta forces herself to take a breath. She must sound frustrated for Emerie looks sheepish and Gwyn puts on her understanding face. The one that says she’ll placate her by telling her of other things they can do when she’s free, because Nesta misses everything for a shift. 

Cassian scoffs. “You work at 3. Come before then, the game doesn’t start until then anyways. I doubt you’ll be sticking around for that.” 

“Excuse me if I don’t like sporting events.” 

Anyone else would have been perturbed at her voice, but not Cassian... Oh no, Cassian raises an indignant chin. “You don’t tailgate for the sport. You do it for the food.” 

“I feel like someone would punt you for that,” Gwyn mumbles. 

“There will be food...” 

And Nesta’s hungry enough to imagine all kinds. 

“Steak. Hot dogs. Chicken wings.” 

It sounds good enough that she almost accepts... if only for Emerie and Gwyn who wait for her response with unsuppressed glee. 

But Nesta has never made an impulsive decision in her life. 

“I’ll think about it,” she says. 

~

Nesta sees the yellow notification, but she doesn’t open the message. She’s seen her screen brighten six times now and she refuses to look. 

Emerie holds up her phone, “Cassian’s texted the location.”

“That’s nice,” Nesta says. She stares up at the screen, flipping through the channels. There’s nothing new to watch and she’s quite possibly bored, but she’s not going to look at that phone.   

“You’re going to have to look eventually.” 

Nesta can hear Gwyn laughing in the kitchen. They’ve been laughing all day at her pouty face. Her indecision. Will she or won’t she. She’s been weighing the pros and cons. Even made a chart. 

“I could be sleeping. He doesn’t know.” 

“Everyone knows you go to sleep at like 3 am.” Emerie comes to sit beside her, setting down her text books. “So why don’t you want to talk to him?”

“He’s just not that interesting.” 

Gwyn hums her agreement as she makes her way to the living room, a cup of tea in her hands. 

“I thought you guys were friends.” 

Nesta scoffs, “of course not. We don’t match.” 

She ignored the look Gwyn gives to Emerie. She knows it’ll be something like disbelief, because, by all means, they’ve had this conversation before.  

“When’s his birthday?” Emerie calls, “we’ll settle this right now.”  

Nesta blinks, shrugging, “Why should I know?”  

“Fine. I’ll ask him.”  

Emerie grabs her phone, talking as she types. “Hey C, what’s your B?” Emerie snorts a laugh, “Lol.”  

“Did you just say lol instead of laughing?”  

“Hush, Mama’s typing... He doesn’t know what ‘B’ means.” Emerie rolls her eyes.  

Nesta can’t say she blames him, but the situation is just odd enough that she sets down the remote. She’ll say it’s the curiosity.   

“Birth-day.... Now he’s asking me why I’m asking. I think your boyfriend has trust issues...” Emerie taps a finger to her chin, “Such a Scorpio move.”  

"Now you’re just guessing,” Gwyn says.  

“Well,” Emerie shrugs, “I only have twelve options. Eliminate Taurus over here," She gestures to Nesta and Nesta frowns, “And obviously he’s not a Virgo. So, ten left. Wait—he sent ‘who’s asking?’ I think he thinks you’re secretly digging for information.”

“What are we in fifth grade?”  

“We are digging for information though,” Gwyn says, shrugging a shoulder.  

“Okay. He says it’s December 16th. Yikes a Sagittarius.” Emerie nods, looking to the TV, “Actually that makes sense. Good for him.”  

Nesta looks to Gwyn, but Emerie watches the show. She picks up the remote flipping through the channels. She settles on the food network... big surprise there. 

“And?” Nesta calls.  

“Oh, your relationships fucked.”  

"See!” Nesta affirms. “We’re not meant to be together.”  

“You’re not meant to be together? I thought we were discussing friendships,” 

“Yeah, Nesta,” Emerie sings. “I thought we were discussing friendships.” 

Gwyn blinks as if she honestly can’t believe it. “Do you want to date him?”

Before Nesta can respond, Gwyn’s waving a hand as if erasing the conversation entirely. “Zodiacs are nonsense. 

Emerie huffs, “you say that because you’re Capricorn.”  

"Well that settles that, then,” Nesta says, sinking into the couch. “We shouldn’t go.” 

“Oh no, I think we should go.” Gwyn rolls her eyes. “And not just for the food or the experience.” 

Emerie snorts, “but you hate Cassian.”  

“I don’t hate Cassian... I’m just wary of Cassian. If we go, I can sus him out. Find out what he really wants.” 

“He wants Nesta. Naked, probably.”  

“I’m going to choose to ignore that for a second, and say, you know you guys can go without me. I’m sure Cassian wouldn’t mind.” 

“He wouldn’t,” Gwyn says, holding up her phone as if to say check your messages. “He’s told us that.” 

“But we’re not going without you. Come on, Nesta. Hoes before bros.” 

“Think of it as a science experiment,” Gwyn offers. 

Emerie laughs, “How many ways are Nesta and Cassian not compatible?” 

Gwyn shrugs, “if nothing else, free food from the frat boys who are most definitely loaded.” 

Nesta rolls her eyes, but the excitement already thrums through her chest. The anxiety, too. But... Gwyn and Emerie will be there, and they’ll have a good time. And she won’t miss out on something for once. 

“Fine! But I’m not painting my face or sticking ribbons in my hair and you can’t make me!” 

~

“There’s so much food!” Emerie calls out, brightly.

There are hot dogs and steaks and corn on the cob. Wings and chips and potato salad. Abundance is what Nesta sees. Abundance and money thrown on the table. Who could possibly eat all this?   

“What are you talking about?” Emerie scoffs. “You eat for a table of five. I guarantee you could eat all of this right now... and if not you, I will.” 

Nesta rolls her eyes, a bit perturbed that she’s said her thoughts aloud. It’s become a bad habit of hers lately and one she’ll soon have to squash. No one needs to know what she’s thinking. 

Cassian watches them all, the perfect host grinning wide. 

She’ll ignore how good he looks in red. She’ll even ignore the way he smiles at her ribbons. Two tiny ribbons woven into the braids at her temple. 

“I brought my own sweater this time,” Nesta says, flicking at the white lettering.  

Cassian’s gaze shifts to her chest. When Nesta raises a brow, his face turns a pretty shade of pink. There’s nothing about the sweater that’s particularly alluring. She bought the largest size she could find, so Nesta doesn’t understand what makes his cheeks flush.  

“You won’t have to use mine then.” His words sounds casual, but Nesta swears she hears a tone of disappointment in his voice. Cassian gestures to the table and then to them, “I have to man the grill, but you guys can sit and I’ll get you something when it’s done. How do you like your steak?”

“Bloody,” Gwyn answers, her tone deadened. 

“That wasn’t ominous at all,” Emerie says, setting her things on the picnic table. “But medium, please!” 

“You got it!” 

Nesta watches as Cassian winks at her friend, and then turns to her. His smile seems sweet. Even fond. There’s something about his face that softens when he looks at her. “How about you, Nes?” 

“That’s not my name... but medium well.” 

Cassian lips raise lightly as he nods, and Nesta shuffles towards the table. She feels like she needs to walk around a bit, wiggle her arms. There’s this nervous energy she can’t seem to get rid of. 

Nesta resists looking back at Cassian... but she admits, it’s difficult. She can feel his gaze, his presence. Five feet or five miles. He’s there and he doesn’t seem to go away. 

She doesn’t know if she likes that. 

“I hope you’re making enough for all of us.” 

Nesta pauses at the feminine voice. 

She definitely doesn’t like that. 

“Oh.” Nesta turns at the sounds, just as Emerie and Gwyn do. “You invited people.” 

“Mor... Az... this is Nesta, Emerie, and Gwyn.” Cassian gestures to the three of them and the silence is palpable as they eye each other. 

To be fair, Nesta should’ve seen this coming. 

Nesta should’ve known. Some things are just too good to be true, and Cassian is a friendly guy. Cassian makes friends with waitresses and cashiers. He surrounds himself in a frat house with strangers and disease. Why else would he be manning the grill but to feed his friends and family? 

It can’t possibly get worse, she thinks. 

But then another one of them appears seemingly out of nowhere. He holds up a bag, waving it around like a flag. “I got the pie! Oh!” 

He glares where he stands, “Nesta.” 

“Rhys-and.” 

Cassian looks between the two of them, “you two know each other?” 

“Not by choice,” Nesta remarks. 

“We were in the same class last semester.” 

“We were in a group project,” Nesta explains further, gritting her teeth. That should say enough, but Cassian looks confused. Of course, he is. 

She’s not going to elaborate, so Nesta turns back to the table. 

She can hear a scoff from the bag boy, but Cassian wishes to appease as always. “Well, settle in. Bond over food or... something. I don’t know.” 

He sets a plate in front of her with a steak the size of her head. 

“It’s the biggest one,” he whispers loudly. Like she’s in on a secret. Like it’ll make her happy to know. 

Cassian sets down the other two plates for Gwyn and Emerie and Emerie grins widely. “I love tailgating!”  

Nesta does not love tailgating. 

“So, how did you meet our brother?” Rhys says, eyeing her as he would a mortal enemy. 

Emerie snorts, but the other two don’t laugh. 

“Oh, you’re actual brothers?”  

Azriel shrugs, going to sit across her. “I’m still waiting for the DNA report, but yes.” 

“How do you all know each other?” Nesta asks, ignoring the question Rhys throws her way. He glares at her for that, and his look of annoyance brings her joy. 

It’s Mor, with her bottle blond hair, perfect even in this wind, that says, “we’re all legacies.”  

“We grew up on the same block,” Azriel adds, “went to the same schools. Our parents went to this school and so on and so forth.”

Mor tilts her head as she looks at her and Nesta doesn’t know what she wants to find by staring at her like that. But she seems to be evaluating her. Head to toe. “Did you grow up around here?” 

“No,” Nesta answers, not offering any more information.    

“Where did you grow up?” 

“Here and there.”  

“What do your parents do?”  

“This and that.”  

Nesta can’t keep the irritation from her voice. Rhys, stupid Rhys, looks amused by that. 

The steak doesn’t even taste good as they watch her, and she blows away a piece of hair that falls in her face. Stupid wind. Stupid braids. Stupid Cassian... and tailgating. 

“You want to borrow my hair tie,” Cassian asks. His voice is soft. Soothing as he looks her over. That assessing gaze. The one he keeps since she was sick. 

Before Nesta can object, he’s already pulling it off his wrist. He holds it out for her, and Nesta looks to her fork. The plate of food.  

“Here, let me,” he says, reaching up behind her.  

His hands run through her hair and Nesta can barely speak. She doesn’t know if she should shove him off or yell. Lecture him about personal space.  

Nesta doesn’t really want to do either.  

His hands are large, and his fingers are soft, and the movement feels... nice. He doesn’t tug. In fact, his hands gently gather her hair into a ponytail, all of it neatly pulled from her face by his floral scrunchie.  

The others watch him as he does it, there eyes wide as if it means something.  

It means nothing, she wants to scream.  

But it means something... because Rhys scowls at the action. 

Nesta throws her head back, meeting Cassian’s gaze. He smiles at her as he pulls the band tight. 

“Who is this, Cassian?” 

Nesta straightens at the tone. Cassian grins widely at the man dressed in all sorts of red and white. A true fan.  

She sighs, taking another bite of her steak. 

Tailgating sucks. 

~

Nesta’s just gotten the smoke smell out of her hair when she hears a knock at the front door. 

Emerie’s gone grocery shopping. Something she likes to do at night. Less people, she says, and Gwyn’s gone with her this time. Nesta stays behind because she can’t handle any more forced outings. 

One is enough for the day. 

So she expects Gwyn and Emerie, probably with a handful of bags and lost keys somewhere. She isn’t expecting Cassian, who runs his hands through his hair as if he’s nervous to see her. 

“Hi,” he says, waving a hand. 

Nesta notes the way he rocks back and forth on his feet. A habit of his, when he’s anxious. 

“Hi.” 

“Nesta, can we talk for a second.”  

Cassian gestures beyond him, to the frigid open air and Nesta’s scowl deepens. 

“I’m in my pajamas.”

In the tiniest top and shorts... 

Cassian looks at her clothes just as she does, and he quickly averts his gaze. His face blooms a deep shade of red, but Nesta finds his expression amusing so she lets it slide without a snarky comment about frat boys and boobs. 

He rubs at his neck, another habit that Nesta knows well. 

“So am I,” he says, gesturing to himself. Indeed, he’s wearing pajama pants and a flannel that has reindeer on it. 

It’s not even close to Christmas. 

“Let me go grab my coat,” she says. 

Hell no is she standing outside when it’s 50 degrees and windy, just because Cassian wants to say something he can’t on the phone. But hell no is she letting him inside her house, when she’s alone and there’s this... thing between them. 

Nesta pauses. 

What if he’s going to confess again? 

She fiddles with her coat on the rack, looking to the door where Cassian waits. 

He’s going to confess again and she’ll be awake... 

Oh no. no. no. no. no. 

Nesta glowers at the man who has no problem inconveniencing her. Turning her life upside down must be entertaining to him. 

“Here’s your hair tie,” Nesta calls, practically shoving the floral pattern in his hands. 

“Oh, you could have kept it. I have more.” 

So it wasn’t even special. 

“It’s fine. What did you need to talk to me about? If it’s about your test on Tuesday, I’m sure we can iron out a study plan that might work.” 

“It’s not about the test.” Cassian’s brows furrow, and Nesta watches as he bites his lips. So many habits, Nesta’s memorized. She can’t help but hold her breath, bracing herself for the proclamation. 

“Do you want to spend Thanksgiving with me and my family?” 

What? 

“I heard when you said you don’t usually do anything, and that’s fine if that’s what you want, but I make a ton of food, and my family is... well they’re honestly insane, but they’re welcoming,” he rambles. 

Nesta doesn’t know what to say. She can only stare at him wide eyed. Cassian talks with his hands, she’s noticed, and he gestures wildly as he speaks. 

“You’ve met my brothers and my dad already, so that’s most of the family. You might not even like Thanksgiving. Bloody history aside, it does promote gluttony and wastefulness.” 

Nesta nods, and she tries to hold back the smile that appears on her face. The laugh that wants to burst out of her lips. 

“But I don’t like that you’re alone, and I know that you like to be alone, but holidays are for family gatherings more than anything, even if you’re family is bullheaded and makes you wish you had a new one. And so I’m offering, just in case... you would rather spend it with me.” 

Cassian takes a breath, holding up his hands as if to say I’m done. He begins to walk backwards, waving goodbye because he knows she needs to sleep on it. She never makes an impulsive decision. 

Cassian’s half way down the stairs when Nesta peaks over the railing. 

“Yes,” she calls out into the night. “I’ll spend Thanksgiving with you.” 

~

Tagged: 

@arinbelle @my-fan-side @sophilightwood @nestaarcher0n @duskandstarlight @soitsgorgeous @swankii-art-teacher @lordof-bloodshed @thewhelk @daisy-in-danger @highqueenevankhell @lovelynesta @sirendeepity @champanheandluxxury @ladynestaarcheron @moodymelanist @teagoddess99 @spoilersteph @angelic-voice-1997 @bo0kmaster69 @drielecarla @generalnesta @cozycomfyliving08 @confusedfandomslut @dread3r @sv0430 @unhealthyfanobsession @simpingfornestaarcheron

~

I think you should know that I lost my sanity, gained it back, and than lost it again, a few more times really, all while writing this fic... I had about four mental breakdowns. So I suffer for my art.  

[sirendeepity]

[ Nessian fanfiction ]

multichapter

modern au

lovers to strangers to lovers but with history

inspired by "If The World Was Ending" by JP Saxe ft Julia Michaels

TW: mention/possible depiction of ptsd, depression, domestic abuse, toxic relationships, strong/foul language, alcohol addiction, suicidal thoughts

[ Chapter 1 ]

[ Chapter 2 ]

[ Chapter 3 ]

[ Chapter 4 ]

[ Chapter 5 ]

[ Chapter 6 ] tbd

Nesta and Cassian had loved each other.

They had loved each other since high school when they could barely stand to be in the same classroom.

They had loved each other when Nesta moved to start college and Cassian moved to join the army.

They had loved each other when Nesta started her new job at the law firm and Cassian started to fly above war camps.

They had loved each other when Cassian came back home earlier and Nesta cried.

They had loved, loved, loved each other, gravitating around the same star, the brightest in the universe.

They had loved each other until the equilibrium shifted and everything collapsed.

After more than a year, they have both moved on with their lives - that’s what they keep telling themselves. But when they meet again, so unexpectedly, they start to realize that the light had not died out. All it takes is a single question to make it burn anew.

If the world was ending you’d come over, right?

I forgot who I had to tag, sO let me know if you want to be added to the supernova taglist!

[highladydawn]

Treat for Nessian please 💕

Because you asked so nicely 🥰 Here is pumpkin patch worker Cassian ft. his muscles!

No matter what her sisters thought, Nesta was not going back to the pumpkin patch to see the man with the ponytail. She made her weekly trips to take advantage of the small business prices and refill her glass jug with local milk. Without her diligence, the house would have no sweet delicata squash to roast, no fresh bread to butter, no apple pies to devour after dinner. It wasn’t her fault if Cassian—she’d looked at his nametag by accident—always happened to be there when she dropped by.

As she pulled into the dirt driveway of the farm, she offered one last silent prayer to whatever higher power was listening that Cassian and his annoying little bandana headband would finally have the day off. But as her boots crunched up the drive and toward thGrab the brussels sprouts, pick out a quart of apples, ask about the pumpkin cookies, then leave,

His laughter was loud enough to drown out the shrieks of childish delights of the kids playing in the cornbox and running through the corn maze. Nesta stiffened, zeroing her eyes on the colorful gourds in their wooden bins to avoid accidentally meeting his gaze. Grab the brussels sprouts, pick out a quart of apples, ask about the pumpkin cookies, then leave, she told herself. Easy.

“Nesta!”

Or not.

Nesta bit the inside of her cheek to keep from scowling as she slowly turned around. Of course he was grinning with that shit-eating smile of his—the one that had a tendency to nearly draw a smile out of her. And of course he was carrying way more pumpkins than any human person should carry at a single time. There had to be at least...eight? The bastard was just showing off. Why else would he wear a short sleeved shirt on such a cold day if not to flex his obscene muscles carrying pumpkins?

“Didn’t I just see you yesterday?” he asked, adjusting the gourds around. Nesta resisted the urge to roll her eyes as the move rippled across his corded biceps. What did he think he was playing at?

“You did,” she replied simply. She turned back in the direction of the line she waited patiently in. How long did it take to ring an old woman out for a four-quart of grapes?

“Thought so.”

“It’d be bad news for your brain functioning if you didn’t.”

Cassian threw her a look that said smart-ass. And he might’ve said it too, if a seven-year-old with scarecrow facepaint hadn’t launched himself at Cassian to hang from his shoulder. Nesta had the good sense to step back a step, knowing full well each of the pumpkins in Cass’ arms were only seconds away from toppling over and—

Pumpkin guts everywhere. All over the dirt lot, all over her shoes, some even on the knees of her jeans. Cassian had the worst of it, seeds splattered all over his steel-toe boots like a goddamn pumpkin massacre had taken place. He took a long second to gape down at the mess, then crouched down next to the painted scarecrow.

“You alright, kid?” He plucked a spare seed that had somehow ended up on his little cheek. “Nothing dropped on your feet, did it?” The second grader shook his head, face flushed with the embarrassment of having caused such a mess. Cassian offered him an understanding smile, before picking up one of the smaller pumpkins from the mess on the ground and handed it to him. “How about we make a deal. You get to keep this sole survivor in exchange for promising to give me a head’s up before turning me into your jungle gym.”

“Deal,” was all the kid said before scurrying off to his mom.

Cassian was still crouched over when he turned his own blushing face back to Nesta. His warm hazel eyes squinted as he examined her through the sunlight. The checkout line had long since cleared, but for some reason, she waited for him to say something.

“Didn’t break your toes, did I?” he asked quietly. Nesta shook her head, knowing that if she opened her mouth to say something, she’d laugh. It wouldn’t be fair to kick a man while he was—quite literally—down and covered in pumpkin pulp. “Will you stick around so I can clean off your boots for you?”

“Oh, uh, I should really get going. I promised I’d rush the squash home so that my sister could get to roasting it for dinner.” She paused. “How about you? That was a lot of pumpkins you dropped on your feet.”

Cassian righted himself up and stuffed his hands into his pockets. He kicked a boot up to the air, stringy seeds tumbling off over the side.

“Steel-toe, baby! This isn’t the first time I’ve had an incident with the gourds and it won’t be the last.” He kicked some of the seeds off nervously, then ventured, “You sure you can’t just stay for five minutes so I can make it up to you?”

Nesta chewed the inside of her cheek. Why was it so damn hard to say no to him? It wasn’t like she was some highschool teenager who turned to jello at every tan-skinned, long-haired, tall, dark, and handsome she met. Yes, his headband was cute. Yes, she had daydreamed about making out with him in the corn maze, but that was obviously because of the autumn pheromones in the air and not because she actually wanted to spend time with him.

Grab the brussel sprouts, quart of apples, pumpkin cookies, then LEAVE, Nesta Archeron.

“Alright,” she said, much to her surprise. “Five minutes won’t kill anyone.”

There was that shit-eating grin again. This time, Nesta returned it.

[bookofmirth]

I saw on Steph’s (ideallyinspiredreviews) recent insta story that it’s her personal opinion (not based on any inside knowledge but just a theory) that since there are supposed to be 2 more novellas in the series, the next ACOTAR book will be a novella to bridge the gap between ACOSF and ACOTAR 5 and I’ll be so depressed if that’s actually true. IF the 2023 ACOTAR release is a novella then we’re gonna likely have to wait until 2025 to get ACOTAR 5. At that rate, this whole fandom is gonna be ancient and decrepit by the time Mrs Maas gets around to finishing this series.

That being said, though it’s just speculation, if the next ACOTAR is a novella, what would be your thoughts/feelings?

Hello!

As far as I know there is only one novella left. After acowar, there were three books, two novellas, and we've gotten one of each so far.

Honestly, as long as I get 1-2 things that I want, which y'all can probably guess at, I will be fine with whatever book shows up next. If it's a novella ft. nessian mating ceremony, cool. If it's a novel of Az and Gwyn leading the Illyrians and Valkyries as cooperative armies to get shit in line, great. If it's a novella of Mor and Emerie making eyes at each other and the IC going "OHHHHH..." then fantastic.

I mainly need news to make the ship war end. Then I can go about shipping my ships in relative peace again.