#fucks off to esempi

[airenyah]

qualcuno aiutami a scrivere una lettera di presentazione in italiano 😭😭😭

[gay-mooshrooms]

grrrrr thoughts go burr I’m still wondering if Wilbur should be Tommy’s brother or no hehehe but sbi all sadly missing Tommy who was taken by king js when esempi and the Antarctic empire were at war:3 whole lotta lore thoughts but js or dream are the king of esempi and if it’s js then js hired the assassins and if it’s Dream then some random people hired Tubbo and Ranboo but it’s clear they aren’t getting payed so if they aren’t gonna get payed they aren’t giving over the prince!!!!:3

they're just holding tommy bridal style like, "fuck off you can't have him"

[spoilt-rice]

IM LATE BY LIKE 3 DAYS BUT finally caught up and-

chapter 23 huh :’)

just some quick doodles so lemme just ignore the angst and focus on the disc duo comfort pls

closeups under the cut, click for better quality, all that jazz

[x-pair-o-dice-x]

i definitely didn’t start write this in the past four days because i procrastinated, haha, why would you think that? anyway, here’s my secret santa gift for @random-tinies!!! i have both art, and a fic for you!!

now, for the fic..

apologies if they’re a bit out of character, i don’t know much about writing them all that much yet,, fkdmdkmdkdmd.

quick warnings: soft vore, unintentional fearplay, fear of death, digestion mention(none happen!!), probably inaccurate pirate information.

—————————

now, dream wouldn’t say he was a pirate, exactly.

honestly, all he did was travel around the sea sometimes, do some minor crimes(most not even out in the ocean!), hunt down the occasional treasure, and have a couple wanted posters. really, he’d just say he was a criminal, that just happened to occasionally operate in the big blue sea.

his mother, though? she was a pirate. and a damn good one, he had to say.

the feared captain of the deep blue, they called her. one of the most infamous pirates known in the esempi region. there was hardly any other pirate around that matched her skills.

he just called her puffy, though.

technically speaking, he wasn’t biologically her son. but really, out in the sea, blood didn’t matter as much as bonds did. and the moment she had found him stowed away on her old ship, before she was as big as she was now, years and years ago, she knew he had potential.

and, well. seeing as he was now her first mate, he supposes she must have been right.

their crew had grown since then — not by much, mind you, but no one really minded.

one of the most early ones was her other son, someone who went by the name foolish. as the months go by, he comes and goes, staying for a couple days before heading off to who knows where. the only person who seemed to know where exactly he went between the weeks he was away was puffy herself — and she didn’t seem particularly keen on telling anyone, either. that’s alright with him, though. dream knows enough about having a background he would frankly like to leave behind, he wasn’t about to pry.

then there were george and sapnap, two people he got very acquainted with, seeing the various months he spent on the run from him. cons of technically being a wanted criminal: you’ll get bounty hunters on your tail pretty much every week. pros of being a wanted criminal: you can take those same bounty hunters, and make them a part of your family. it took a long while, but eventually, the two came around to him — and now, they’re a part of the journey.

..well, currently, george isn’t part of this particular journey. he was a fucking coward (affectionate), and would have rather stayed home doing.. whatever it is a george does when he’s home alone.

and then, there was skeppy.

......dream honestly didn’t know skeppy’s deal.

he doesn’t mean that in any bad way, of course, it’s just. he has absolutely no clue where he even came from. literally, he just kind of, showed up one day. swears not even puffy knows anything about skeppy.

and, even weirder, it seems skeppy knows sapnap? like, foolish, that would make some sense, who knows what the fuck he does when he’s not around. george, he could see, if he squinted. but.. sapnap?

granted, he doesn’t know much about sapnap’s background, but he didn’t seem like the type to hang around people like skeppy. the guy had practically no sense of preservation(well, neither did he, but he’d like to pretend it’s better than it is), and pulled pranks every five seconds. sapnap was a hothead, but a loyal one, too. it just seems like they’d bash heads every now and then, with skeppy getting on one too many nerves.

and don’t get him wrong, they do fight, occasionally; but.. it seems more lighthearted than anything.

well, dream supposes it wasn’t any of his business. if they ever want to share their backstory over a campfire, he’ll be glad to listen, but he won’t pry.

no matter how much he really wants to.

back onto the topic at hand(did he have a topic to begin with?) — adventure!

the crew was currently out on an expedition, following a map that puffy had... borrowed, for a bit. the map didn’t exactly say what it led to, but puffy had a feeling it would lead to something worthwhile.

and so, they all had set off. barring george and foolish, of course, for aforementioned reasons.

they were out in the middle of the sea, on a spare ship — their main one had gotten a bit beat up on their last journey, and needed to be left behind for repairs. while it was a shame to leave behind the beloved ship, it was probably for the best — they had enough trouble manning the ship with their usual five members, maybe six if they were lucky. with the much smaller ship, four people was just the right amount to keep her from sinking.

as long as nothing went terribly wrong, they should reach their destination in no time! it’s already been a couple of days since they had first set out, if they keep up the pace, they should be arriving in just a couple more.

the sky was a little gray and cloudy, but it shouldn’t be too much trouble. they’ve bested storms before, on their main ship, even if one were to strike now, they’re experienced. they’ll make it through just fine.

——————————

alright, uh. couple hours later, and.. the clouds look just... a tiny bit worse.

well.

maybe just a bit more than a, well. a bit.

“uh, dad?” dream spoke up, turning his head to puffy, who tilts her head slightly towards him from her position at the wheel. “is it just me, or does the sky look a bit..”

“i see it, duckling.” puffy interrupts. she looks about five seconds from gripping her hands right around the wheel, but her voice is just about calm. he can only catch a hint of it being anything other than that. “hopefully, we can leave this area before it hits.”

“and, if we can’t?”

“well,” puffy taps her fingers on the wheel. “this ship has survived a bunch. not as much as our big guy, but it’s had a decent amount. we’ll be fine.” even as she says that, though, her mouth was pressed into a thin line.

dream hummed, but left it at that. he turned back around and looked for how his other crew mates were faring.

sapnap is all but leaning over the edge of the ship, staring out at the sea with an unreadable expression.

skeppy is, frankly, nowhere to be seen. that would be concerning, if it were anybody but skeppy. he just makes a mental note to be careful for any hidden tricks around the ship.

he decides to go up to sapnap — the guy looks troubled, almost. he could probably use a distraction. they both could, really.

“you good, man?” he says, causing the man to startle. wow, sapnap must have been really deep in his thoughts, he wasn’t even trying to hide his footsteps.

“oh, hey dream.” sapnap said, relaxing his shoulders.

“must have been thinking pretty hard there, that’s new.” he grinned, resulting in a harsh punch to his shoulder.

“fuck off, dude.” sapnap glared at him, though the effect was ruined with the smile he gave him.

“hey, i don’t want you to ruin your mind with all those thoughts going around, could mess up your perfectly empty brain!” dream shrugged with a wider grin, before dodging some more punches.

“i am going to fucking kill you if you don’t stop.” dream laughed.

“good luck, then you’ll have an angry pirate captain on your tail.”

sapnap stuck his tongue out at him, causing dream to laugh harder at him.

the two sobered down a bit after that, sapnap going back to looking at the swarming clouds in the sky.

“looks like a storm is brewing.” sapnap said.

“oh really? i couldn’t tell.”

“dream i will kill you. i almost succeeded before, don’t test me.”

dream snorted. a brief silence followed.

“it.. kinda looks like it’s gonna be bad. like.. really bad.” sapnap spoke up.

dream paused.

“i.. i think we’ll be fine.” dream said slowly. sapnap turned to him with a raised eyebrow.

“well- okay, fine is a strong word. but i know we’ll make it out, if worst comes to worst.” dream amended.

sapnap turned back to the sea. the apprehensive look was back on his face.

“hey.” dream nudged his friend. “we’re gonna be okay.”

sapnap glanced back at him. he paused, before giving him a small smile.

“and hey,” dream continues, “on the one percent chance we do die — unlikely, by the way — i give you full permission to kill me again.”

sapnap huffs out a laugh at that, giving him another punch, softer than before.

“i’m going to hold you to that, you know.”

“wouldn’t have offered if i was going to back out, pandas.” dream grinned at him.

sapnap gives a grin back, before looking back at sea again, looking lighter than before. dream’s own eyes softened.

yeah, they were gonna end up fine.

——————————

so uh.

things... weren’t going fine.

like, not even in the slightest.

you know that storm? the one that wasn’t too bad?

yeah no, it.. it got worse. way, way worse.

dream tightened his grip on the sail’s mast as the ship lurched, as lightning cracked, and thunder roared. by the gods, this might be the worst storm he’s seen yet, though he has to admit, he hasn’t seen many. at least, not out at sea.

puffy’s holding on to the wheel like her life depends on it — and it does, all of their lives depend on it — she’s trying her best to gain back control of the ship, but judging by the desperation on her face, it isn’t going so well.

the ship lurches again as another wave crashes onto the ship, one large enough to splash him with the salty water. he finds his eyes laying on skeppy, grasping onto the door to the captain’s office for dear life — dream’s not gonna bother even asking why he was in there to begin with, he’s pretty sure he knows the answer, not that it really matters anyway.

he searches for the final member of his crew, and finds sapnap holding on to the ropes climbing up to the crow’s nest — he must have been up there right before the storm hit, dream thinks. shit, that is a terrible place to be in any sort of storm, especially one like this.

none of them had any warning when the storm hit. at one point, everything was fine, they were set on course to be out of the area before things could escalate. the next? chaos, utter chaos. no one could get to a safe spot, no one could prepare.

all they could do was hold on and hope.

the ship lurched once again, a particularly large wave hitting the poor vessel, and- he hears a gut-wrenching, terrified scream, and he turns his head just in time to see sapnap fall just out of sight, out of the boat, into the water. he could barely hear the splash under the clamor of everything else.

“SAPNAP!” dream cried, a hand reaching out, as if that could save him.

nononONONONO-

“MAN OVERBOARD!” puffy shouted, looking around with wide eyes, but no one moved to do anything. they couldn’t, really, not if they wanted to join him. then that would just be two bodies to worry about.

that didn’t change the fact that dream desperately wanted to jump in after him — he can’t lose a friend, he just can’t. he doesn’t want to have to break the news to george, he doesn’t think his heart could take that. please, please, please, prime, let his friend live, through whatever miracle that exists, let sapnap live-

suddenly, a loud, haunting cry echoed through the atmosphere, piercing through the storm.

dream’s heart stopped.

that was a siren.

that was a siren.

he wasn’t even aware they were in siren territory, shit shit shit.

they really were as good as dead, now, if they fell into the water.

(he doesn’t think about what this might mean for sapnap, he doesn’t think about it he doesn’t think about it he doesn’t-)

another shriek shatters his thoughts, one much louder than the previous. shit, were there two of them??

puffy seemed to be going through the same thought process as him, but before they could even do anything about it, the ship lurches again, and he has to hug the mast as tight as he could to keep himself from falling off — he swears that the ship did a ninety degree angle then, if not close to it. that’s not comforting at all!

before they could even think about relaxing, he hears-

“LOOK OUT-!” skeppy shouts, and dream looks just in time to see a large wave, one bigger than the entire ship towering over them, before suddenly he finds himself hit with a crushing pressure, his grip on the mast slipping, leaving him stranded underwater, with no way of knowing where the surface is, no way of getting to any sort of safety, no way to escape the sirens in the waters with them-

he opens his eyes, only just ignoring the way the salt burns his eyes, and looks around, trying to find something, anything that could help. he catches movement from his peripheral, and as he turns, he finds himself looking at something big headed his way(a siren, his mind fills in, considering the fins and the tail), with something else swimming around just behind it. from the looks of things, he’s only just about as tall as it’s finger.

and dream has just enough time to think ‘oh, that’s bigger than i thought it would be,’ before the siren opens their mouth, not slowing down a beat, and he gets snatched inside.

immediately, his mind panics, especially since he’s still surrounded by water- but he’s given no time to adjust, as the siren immediately tilts its head back, and he’s only able to think ‘shit-’ before he’s swallowed down with a quick gulp.

all around him is a crushing sensation, forcing all the air out of his lungs, not letting him take a breath. it feels like an eternity before he’s squeezed tighter than before, only to get plopped into some sort of chamber. he takes a deep breath as soon as he’s able, trying to catch his bearings.

it takes a second of rest before everything fully sinks in.

he’s inside of a siren.

he was eaten, by a siren.

he was in it’s stomach.

he was gonna die he was gonna die he can’t die not yet please-

belatedly, he realizes puffy and skeppy are still out there, sapnap too. there’s no one else in here, they might’ve gotten away — or maybe the other siren has them, god he hopes it didn’t. he’s not sure being stranded out in the sea, in siren territory, is any better than just getting killed by one, but at least with the former, there’s a chance of survival.

him, though? there’s no escape. there’s no feasible way he could live through this, not when he’s in the belly of the beast. literally.

gods, puffy, sapnap, skeppy, please live, please get away. i couldn’t stand it if you died with me.

he felt the siren moving again, felt the walls crush him slightly, before suddenly, he saw something else fall into the stomach with him.

no, not something.

someone.

they were coughing, and instantly, he zeroed in on their long hair, once fluffy, now soaked.

no.... no, please prime, no........

“dad?” he croaked out, and he watched with a heartbroken expression as green eyes met blue in the soft light of the chamber.

“..hey....” puffy spoke softly, giving dream a wobbly smile.

immediately, he shot over to her, throwing his arms around her. she hug him back tight, as he rest his head in the crook of her neck. he was only just able to hold back his sobs, though he couldn’t stop his breath from hitching every other second.

“it’s okay, duckling,” she mumbled, resting her hand in his hair, scratching at his scalp in an attempt to calm him down. “it’s okay, it’s alright.” she kept muttering sweet nothings to him, as if that could help the situation any.

the two startled as something new happened, as their surroundings started to vibrate slightly. as he pulled away from the embrace, it only took him a moment to realize what it was.

purring. the motherfucker was purring.

before he could think any harder about that, the walls moved again, and someone else fell into the stomach with them.

he could tell immediately who it was, what with the bright blue hoodie.

“hey skeppy, welcome to hell.” puffy muttered sarcastically, causing dream to snort despite himself. even skeppy let out a good chuckle at that, and while it did sound strained, overall, the guy looked relatively calm about the situation.

“well, looks like the gang’s all here.” skeppy said, leaning back onto the walls.

“except for sapnap,” dream mumbled, bringing his knees to his chest. “do.. do you think he’s..” he stopped himself. god, he didn’t want to think about what might have happened.

“knowing him?” skeppy said. “he’s fine, no doubt about it.”

“if he hasn’t.. hasn’t drowned yet,” dream said, spitting out the words, “there’s still sirens about. there’s.. he..” he hugged his knees tighter, puffy reaching out, and rubbing circles on his back.

“there’s no way he drowned,” skeppy said, crossing his arms. “he wouldn’t let something like that bring him down, that would just be embarrassing.” he chuckled, as if having he was privy to a joke the other two weren’t. “seriously, if he let water be the thing to bring him down, i would drag him out of limbo just to make fun of him. i’d straight up just learn necromancy, and i’d never let him live it down. he’ll never know a day of peace.”

dream huffed out a laugh, puffy giving a snort herself.

a silence followed afterwards, skeppy trying to get more comfortable, while dream and puffy simply sat and waited. the purring hadn’t stopped, and.. purring? really? he wasn’t aware sirens could purr. prime, he bet it was satisfied at having been able to catch them as a meal. he bet it was enjoying their terror. well, maybe not skeppy’s, he didn’t seem all that scared. dream wasn’t even sure anything could faze the guy at this point. that in of itself scared dream, if only slightly.

he looked around at his surroundings out of boredom — or at least, what little there was. he fully realized that there was, in fact, a light source, if a bit dim — it came in the form of small little freckles of light, scattered all around the walls, giving off a red lighting, as if the walls really needed to be even redder. the light seemed to increase wherever they touched it, but only slightly.

it felt like maybe five minutes had passed, before puffy spoke up.

“where is sapnap? it didn’t take too long for- for the siren to catch us,” puffy said, “you’d think he would have joined us by now.”

“..well, uh. there was another siren,” skeppy pointed out.

“great,” dream snapped out, almost pouting, “so we don’t even get to die together as a whole crew, he gets to die alone.”

god, what was george gonna think? what was foolish going to think? will they ever know what happened to them? or were they just going to disappear from the world quietly, with only two people to wonder what had happened, never to find out.

prime, he hated this. they just had to go through that storm, they just had to go on this expedition in the first place. now, they were going to..

“wait- hold on,” skeppy said, sitting up. “who said anything about dying?”

dream stared at him blankly.

“we...... we’ve been eaten by a siren.” puffy said, staring at skeppy with the same look. “we’re in it’s stomach. skeppy, man, in what world does that not equal death?”

“do you see us dying, though?” skeppy said, as if they were the crazy ones.

“we’re gonna be- we’re gonna be digested, skeppy!” dream said, voice raised. “that’s not a quick death! and even if we aren’t, by some miracle, we’ll suffocate!”

“we won’t, though.”

“wh- how would you know that?!” dream threw his hands up.

“i know these guys.” skeppy said simply.

dream froze. he could feel puffy pause beside him.

“you.... you, know, these sirens..” dream deadpanned.

“yep.” skeppy said, popping the p.

dream paused, trying to take in the information.

skeppy.... skeppy knows sirens. and.. those sirens that he knew just.. happened to be around when they were almost killed by the storm.

i........

in.... in all honesty, part of him isn’t surprised. this sounds like a skeppy thing, just casually befriending man-eating beasts. like. okay then. this is happening now. this is fine.

“yeah.” dream says, exasperated. “yeah. sure. okay.”

“so.. we’re gonna be okay?” puffy asks cautiously.

“we’re fine, we’re in his brooding pouch — a second stomach, one for storing young hatchlings.” skeppy said, as if this was the most common of knowledge.

“..yeah. and, sapnap.. he’s in the other siren’s.. pouch?”

“he’s fine, without a doubt.” skeppy said.

dream’s shoulders relaxed unconsciously — he wasn’t even aware they were hunched. they.. if skeppy was right, they were gonna be fine. they were gonna be okay. they were gonna live.

god, he hoped this wasn’t one last prank. that would just be cruel, even for skeppy.

even as the thought comes across his mind, he mentally shakes it away — no, skeppy wouldn’t do that. he knows when to hold off on the jokes, when things are serious. he may not have a filter most of the time, but this would just be crossing a line.

so.. that meant skeppy really did know these sirens. dream briefly wondered why he never told anyone, but then he realized it wasn’t the most causal of topics to suddenly drop in a conversation. “hey guys, just so you know, i’m actually friends with two terrifying beasts that are known to take out entire flees of ships with little effort. also, we’re out of gapples.”

yeah. like that would have gone well.

not that this went any better, either.

well, he supposes that they would just have to trust these sirens, and hope that they wouldn’t suddenly turn on them, or that skeppy didn’t mistake some random siren as his friends.

god, he hopes sapnap is alright.

———————————

it feels like hours pass before something changes. dream had gotten used to the subtle swaying of the stomach, occasionally hearing purrs or faint siren chirps. the moment he felt it still, with only the slight churning of the walls, he was on edge.

he could hear the sirens talking to each other, though he could only assume that’s what it was, as he couldn’t understand the various trills and whistles that they made.

suddenly, as the chirps quieted down, the walls squeezed tight around them all. dream struggled in a panic, before finding himself in that crushing sensation from earlier. before he knew it, he was getting spit out into a hand — a giant hand, he found he was hardly bigger than one of it’s clawed fingers.

carefully, he found himself getting brought down to the ground — a dock, he realizes, one not too far from the town their crew resided in. the village the dock was from was abandoned, a ghost town. he never really understood why, but he supposes he doesn’t need to, all he needs to know is that no strangers would pop in unexpectedly, no one would panic at the sight of the large siren in front of him.

the first thing he notices about the siren is it’s eyes. a brown, almost red iris, with a light red sclera. it’s almost haunting, really, if it weren’t for the fact he could practically feel the kindness radiating from it’s eyes. he could feel part of his shoulders relaxing slightly despite himself.

it(they?) had red fins at the sides of their heads, as if those were their ears. and as his eyes trailed up, he could see.. horns? on the top of their head. half of their face was a void black, fading to a freckled peach. they had puffy brown hair, as well, and it didn’t even look wet, despite him knowing that they had to have been underwater recently, there’s no way it could have dried in the past few minutes. was a siren’s hair just like that?

before he knew it, the siren had coughed up his other two companions, one looking more disheveled and wary than the other. you’ll never guess who was who.

“hey bad!” skeppy grinned up at the siren. the siren- bad, he guesses(an odd name, sure, but he’s seen weirder), chuckled good naturedly at him.

“hello, geppy!” bad smiles softly at him, before turning turning to the other puffy and dream. “and hello, you two. i’ve heard a lot about you guys, and i’m so sorry our meeting had to go like this.”

“uh-” puffy stumbled. “it’s alright, and i do have to thank you for getting my crew out of that storm. despite the.. unconventional methods, to say the least.”

the siren winced. “sorry, sorry! i wasn’t thinking much when i first did it, i’m so used to doing it with skeppy, i didn’t think twice.”

dream ignored the look puffy gave skeppy(who had simply shrugged in response), and asked, “where is sapnap?”

at this, bad’s fin-ears went flat, and they gained an apprehensive look on their face.

dream paled.

“he- he isn’t dead, is he? prime, please, he can’t be-”

“no!” bad all but yelled, “nonono no! he’s fine, i promise!”

dream stared at the siren. “..but...?”

bad looked away briefly.

“just, give me a second.” they said, before letting out a low trill.

dream shared a look with puffy. even skeppy had an unreadable expression, glancing at the two briefly.

suddenly, something else emerged from the water. it was smaller, far smaller than bad was, with their torso being as tall as bad’s head. they had a blue-ish pattern on their face, their ears looking similar to shark fins. they had dark blue eyes, with black hair being held up by a white band-

..wait.

..wait a minute.

“s..sapnap?”

the- the siren in question winced. “..hey, dream.”

dream stared, trying to process everything that has happened in the last few hours.

“you’re.. you’re a siren.” dream said.

sapnap nodded, not bothering to talk.

“and.. you knew about this?” dream turned to skeppy.

“yep.” skeppy gave a thumbs up.

“i- okay. okay.” dream sighed, putting his head in his hands. “just- give me a second.”

so. sapnap was a siren. who.. could turn into a human, he guessed. alright. alright.

so his friend was a creature known to sink entire navies, known to kill thousands of sailors, all with little effort.

in all honesty, he was surprised skeppy wasn’t one, too.

......

briefly, he turned to skeppy. “are, are you also..?”

“nope,” skeppy said, popping the p. “‘oops, all human!’ here, folks.”

alright. ignoring whatever weird joke skeppy made.

one of his best friends is a siren.

does this.. really change anything?

he’s still sapnap, isn’t he?

he’s still the same hothead, still the same hunter he befriended.

so he can turn into an overgrown fish. that would just make their little manhunts all the more fun, wouldn’t it?

he’s still sapnap.

he’s still his friend.

he’s.. still staring down at them apprehensively.

like he’s worried that they wouldn’t accept him now that they know.

like he’s worried that dream wouldn’t accept him.

oh, not a chance in hell, you’d have to pry me off to get rid of me at this point.

“so, did you like, get turned into a siren a la vampire?” dream smiled up at him.

sapnap let out a startled laugh.

“i- what?” he asked, confused.

“you heard me,” dream grinned, “are you some sort of siren-vampire, or were you just born like this?”

“i was born like this, what are you even-”

“so we don’t have to worry about you getting burnt in the sun? no need to worry about random stakes impaling you?”

“dude, what are-”

“so there’s no point getting worked up about you getting forced to turn into a siren every full moon? no allergy to silver?”

“dream, that’s werewolves, what are you on right now-”

“what, i’m just listing reasonable worries!” dream laughed. “c’mon, you’re still part of the crew, we gotta know what we’re dealing with here, don’t want to accidentally kill you with garlic, of all things.”

dream expected a retort, but paused when he realized the siren wasn’t replying. he looked up, and saw sapnap looking at him with a vulnerable expression.

“i’m.. you still want me to be a part of the crew....?” sapnap asked, ears pinned back.

“of course, man! this-” dream gestured at sapnap, “this doesn’t change a thing! you’re still my friend, pandas.”

sapnap looked as if he was about ten seconds away from tearing up, but he still looked a bit wary, glancing somewhere behind him. dream turned, looking at his dad, who had been silent, watching the exchange unfold.

puffy stared back at sapnap, before stepping up to him.

“sapnap,” puffy started, “to me, it doesn’t matter what you are. i wouldn’t care if you were some world-killer, you’re a part of this crew. and, as long as you want to be, you will always have a place in this family.”

she looked up at bad as well. “this goes for you, too, if you’d like. you clearly know these two, and i’m sure they’d vouch for you. if you ever want to, you can join us in our crew. after all that happened, that’s about the least i could do to thank you.”

sapnap stared at her with a watery look in his eyes, while bad considered her.

“well, i have been told stories of all of you from these two.” bad said. “and, i have to say.. i wouldn’t be opposed to it.”

immediately, skeppy threw up his hands, letting out a woop. “HELL YEAH, BAD’S JOINING US FOR CRIMES!”

bad snorted, murmuring a quick, fond, “language”, as everyone else let out a chuckle.

informing everyone else(as in, two other people) about the.. developments would certainly be an event, but dream’s sure that things will go fine.

for now, though, he was content with just hanging around for a bit. george wasn’t expecting them back for at least a couple more days, he could wait for just a bit.

[whalerrat]

i know the end

a dsmp magnus archives au

ao3

Statement of Tommy Innit, regarding the reappearance of his brother. Original statement given on April 30th, 2021. Recorded by Eret, Head Archivist of the EsEmpi Institute.

Statement begins.

I want to clarify that Wilbur’s not my actual brother. Like, we aren't biologically related or anything. We met in a cafe. He was performing during an open mic thing that my friend dragged me to. I usually hate that acoustic shit, but something about his voice was- I dunno, I felt like he could run the world. I know it sounds weird, but it was so quiet and loud at the same time, and he knew what words to say- which of course is the point of lyrics, but the words slid together, like a seamless puzzle.

Anyway, I started going to those open mic nights just to hear him play. I guess he noticed me too, ‘cause after a show one night, he bought me a coffee and we talked. I totally stayed calm the entire time. Soon, those post-performance conversations were another part of the tradition. We started hanging out outside of the cafe, too. Not in a weird way, he was a weird guy, but just hanging out, you know? Just, playing games together and stuff. You know Civ? He was really good at Civ. Really competitive.

About a year ago, he must have gotten into a fight or something with one of his friends, because he missed his normal performance time. I sat there, waiting, listening to one girl with a ukulele after another, glancing at the door. I should have known something was up after the first three. He wasn’t sitting in the corner with his guitar case, or flirting with the barista. His bike wasn’t outside. I just… I thought he was just late.

The entire time, I could hear a sort of clicking, like a lighter. Wilbur was a smoker, and he knew I hated it. He wasn’t allowed to smoke in the cafe, so he would sometimes step outside before his performance, especially if he was singing a new song. He would fidget with a small blue lighter, turning it on and off and on and off, the repetitive clicking somehow soothing him. It was annoying at first, but became part of him. His sound. Guitar strings and sparking lighters. And I could hear it, in the back of my mind.

Click. Click. Click.

But I couldn’t see him.

After about twenty minutes, I stepped outside. Maybe he was too nervous. Maybe I missed him on the way in. Maybe he’d had enough of me, of this city, and left. My chair felt so loud against the wood floors when I stood up and left.

Outside was cold. Cold and blue. I was glad I had brought my sweater.

I turned the corner, and leaning against the wall was Wilbur. Flicking the lighter, a fresh cigarette in his fingers. No guitar case. Burns on his fingertips. A rip in his jacket.

I immediately ran up to him and started asking him where he was, what he was doing here, why wasn’t he performing. And he just… smiled. It was sharp, all corners. Like a shark. And he tossed the cigarette toward the concrete and said, “Tommy, it’s all going to be okay”.

His voice was shaking. I don’t think he noticed, but I definitely did. His voice never shook.

He then walked past me, into the cafe, and threw a chair. It shattered against the brick wall. I swear it felt like an explosion.

He was banned from open mic night after that. Not like it mattered. Two weeks later, he was found dead in his apartment. Gas leak, and that fucking smoking problem. I don’t want to talk about that, if that’s alright.

I would like to say I moved on. Truth is, I could always hear that clicking. I would turn a corner, expecting to see him and his sparking lighter. Sometimes I would see him in smoke- cars, candles, smokestacks, you name it. It got really annoying after a while. I wanted to move on. I wanted him to stop haunting me. But he wouldn’t let me go. But seeing him where he wasn’t, that’s just grief. That’s normal. At least, that’s what Tubbo tells me. He’s the friend that took me to the open mic night that first time.

I promise I’m fine mentally. Everyone I tell this next part to refers me to a therapist, and I don’t need a fucking therapist. I know what I saw. I know what I felt.

Two days ago, I went to the cafe again. First time in like, a couple months, ‘cause I kept on seeing him in the stupid candles they use, you know? And I thought, why not, for old time’s sake. I would bring Tubbo along, and maybe this would help me stop seeing his ghost. No open mic this time. Just going out for a coffee.

As we get closer, I see a man leaning against the building wall. Tall, messy hair. A guitar case and a lit cigarette. And at first I think I’m just seeing things, but as I get closer, the man moves. He’s looking directly at me. And I’m looking directly at him like an idiot. And I stop.

It’s Wilbur.

But it can’t be Wilbur, because Wilbur’s fucking dead. He’s gone. His apartment wasn’t even recognizable when they found it. His body- he lit himself on fire. The doctors said he was burned alive. He burned himself alive. And they made it sound so pretty, like it was an accident, but I know what happened. I know how they found him, in a pile, on what would be his knees. His wired glasses were melted into the floor. The lighter was warped to his palm, wrapped around charred bone.

I asked for it, you know. I asked for the lighter, ‘cause it was the only thing that was left. Part of me was glad when they said no. It was too gross.

But there was no way it could be here, in the hands of someone alive. Clicking under burnt fingernails. He had changed- he looked older, his hair longer and graying. If he were still alive, not already dead, I mean, I would’ve made fun of him for it.

What do you say to a dead man?

I didn’t get the chance to answer that question, because soon, his arm was wrapped around my shoulders. He reeked of smoke. Not cigarette smoke. More like burning wood. Like a campfire. His skin felt hot against me, even through my tee shirt. Not warm, like a comforting hug or some shit. Hot. And he was grinning that shark grin.

I looked to Tubbo. This Wilbur was real. I could feel this Wilbur, feel the life pumping in his veins, the heat of his breath. Tubbo just stared back.

Wilbur said something. I didn’t hear it. I just nodded. That’s what you’re supposed to do, right? In a previous life, I trusted him. But I guess things change when you’re dead. At least he was consistent with the whole ‘living’ thing.

He pulled me close to him in a weird side hug. His jacket sleeve lifted a little, revealing burn scars on his boney wrist. I asked him about it, if it hurt, and you know what he did? You know what this bitch did? He laughed. I asked him if dying hurt and he laughed.

The rest is a blur. He was still banned from the cafe, ‘cause I guess bans carry over even when you die. Or maybe it was a risk. He kept glancing over to it, flicking his lighter, and I couldn’t help but notice how much wood was inside. The tables, the chairs, the plants hanging from the walls. The people. He could’ve burned it all down if he wanted to. There would be nothing left.

I thought that’s what happened to him. That he burned and burned and burned until there was nothing but ash. There weren’t even reports of screaming. How fucked up is that?

Next thing I know, I’m freezing. He’s gone. Tubbo hasn’t moved, neither have the people in the cafe. And I’m so cold. Sure, I trusted Wilbur, but I never needed him. But this cold, him not being here, it was almost worse than him coming back. If you could even call it that.

I asked Tubbo if that was real, if he was real. And he just looked at me, then at my hands.

My shirt had burned away where he had touched, the fabric singed and curling.

And in my palms was an old blue lighter.

Statement ends.

While not much could be said for Tommy’s… coping skills, we were able to confirm some of the facts. Sapnap found the death certificate of Wilbur Soot, as well as some news articles about his death. It all looks to be as Tommy described. However, George has asked around the cafe to see if anyone had seen Wilbur recently, and they “all gave him weird looks”. Tubbo, the friend, was unreachable, and Tommy denied answering any follow-up questions. The likelihood of this actually happening is very low.

Recording ends.

[honeyblockm]

OK so Tangent is the superhero au and our cast is scattered across a multitude of areas on the country- from Aether City in the north all the way down to the Badlands. But. Um. We'll start with the city of L'Manberg.

Situated on the banks of a river, about three hours drive from the sea, L'Manberg has no resident superheroes. This is nothing unusual, since superpowers in general are rare enough that you'd only really encounter them in the true population hotspots like New Esempi.

It's here, in one of L'Manberg's hospitals, that Wilbur Soot wakes up- covered in burns and other various major injuries, with no memory of his past. No one can get any information on this guy. DNA tests come back jumbled, his fingerprints aren't in any database, and Wilbur himself is no help.

That's alright, though. Wilbur makes an almost full physical recovery, faster than the doctors predicted, and with a little bit of guidance from Dream- a wandering hero who hops from place to place when he's not literally doing missions offworld -gets his feet back under him. He finds a place to live, starts working at the Nihachus' bakery, and tries to figure out what he wants to do with himself. Between searching for his past and striking up a friendship with Fundy and co (cabinetduo), he also develops superpowers.

Not that Wilbur has any grand ideas of what to do with them yet, except maybe as another clue to discovering the two decades he lost.

Meanwhile in the criminal underground of L'Manberg, a dark and terrible plot is set into motion. Quackity goes missing, news reports come in concerning strange superpowered individuals, and it all goes downhill from there.

In other news, the Badlands Patrol, a team of individuals that deal with all the weird shit that happens in the Badlands, go up against their biggest challenge yet: big fucking egg from space

Over in New Esempi, interplanar mercernaries Eret and Foolish fight off an invading force from a hellish fantasy dimension. They'll cross paths with Eryn, an escapee of that same dimension, who has teamed up with aspiring vigilante Tommy.

Etc

I think this was originally intended and also kind of still intended to be a "how do I fit every weird thing that happens in American superhero comics into an au", hence why there are aliens and fucken. Idk. Quackity can take down a room of 20 armed men with his bare fists bc it's fun and also bc I was thinking about Elektra Natchios when I outlined the him and Wilbur's origin stories.

[thesyndicatesghost]

Broken

The world goes still.

Ink is hunched over the enchanting table, softly cursing the damned book to give it depth strider, when it feels the change.

Back snapping straight, it waits with bated breath. The stillness could be a fluke, a moment of temptation before the world righted itself and continued as normal. It doesn’t though, the stillness going for a minute, then two, then three. By the tenth minute, Ink decides to see for itself. Holding out its hand, it takes a deep breath and focuses intently, an ethereal black shackle slowly materializing around its wrist, with two chains dangling from it. The chains, a mix of black and white metal, fade off into the floor, but Ink can tell where they lead, or more accurately to who they lead.

Ink’s gaze flicks to the first chain, as strong as the first day it had been made. There’s no chink or crack from beginning to end, and when it tugs there is no give.

Mordid.

The other chain is cracked, chipping away in front of Ink’s eyes as the metal weakens, groaning with the threat of snapping when it’s pulled sharply.

Average.

Ink can’t help but huff in amusement, pleased to see its estimation had been correct. Average, the reckless ‘prince’, was currently meddling in Mizu business, on the verge of breaking his Deal with Mordid. It had to give some credit, it supposed. Average had managed to uphold his end of the Deal for much longer than Ink had been willing to bet on him. Nearly a month, much better than a week. Another crack races up the chain, Ink’s gaze following it intently as it smiled, body practically vibrating. Absently it wonders what’s going on, whether this is something serious or of insignificant. It doesn’t matter, but curiosity nicks the back of its mind.

It's gaze flicks to Mordid’s again.

Well, it hopes it isn’t too serious.

Still, there’s time for Average to salvage this. The universe must be feeling kind for the disillusioned prince if it’s allowed the Bond to be broken this much yet remain intact. Or…

Ink holds the chain to the light, lips curling in disgust as it sees faint lines of pulsing crimson as they try desperately to keep the metal together. Looks like someone was trying to intervene. For a moment it considers trying to push it away, to exert what power its gathered to purge the Entity (and really, how rude, how fucking arrogant to try to intervene), but instead lets out a huff of dark amusement as it leans against the enchanting table. Fine. Let it try to hold this weak chain together, see how far it can go before it crumbles.

It’s almost embarrassing how quickly the chain breaks after that thought, Ink letting out a startled laugh as it shatters into black and white glass, speckles of red glinting in the light.

Pathetic.

Grinning it holds out its hand, the shards breaking down into light as they zip into Ink’s open palm, skin tingling where they touch. Humming to itself, it grabs the whole chain and yanks, releasing Mordid instantly as it races back to wrap around its hand. Fingers curling tightly over the gathered energy, Ink closes its eyes and breathes deeply as it absorbs it, body shuddering at the rush of power. A kept deal would be better, it knows, it knows, a steady source to pull from in times of strife, but oh it has missed this.

Opening its eyes, it sends a wicked grin in the direction of the Badlands. It wonders if the Entity can feel the smugness radiating from it, even with the circle of soulfire around Esempi. What an unfortunate loss. “Good luck Average,” it said with zero sincerity, a manic gleam in its eyes as it considered all the possible outcomes, “you’re going to need it.”

The world shifts.