#full respect to everyone churning out 20k+ fics or two chapters a week you’re a wonder of nature

[mylittleredgirl]

the number of times i will go back into a fic to add or remove one single word or maybe move it to somewhere else in the same sentence can’t be healthy. i’m tormented by a mildly popular text post of mine going around that i am sure could be funnier with one fewer syllable, which i also added and removed 3 times in the drafts before posting. it’s not compulsive, it’s genuinely not harming me or preventing me from sharing my work, it’s just like somewhere in the intersection between perfectionism and an inability to let go i’m there ten days after posting wondering if an exclamation point instead of a period would meaningfully alter a reader’s experience, like a philosopher spending six years contemplating the nature of existence through a single grain of sand and okay, i started this post to make fun of myself but i just remembered that my linguistics tag is “language is my one true love” and writing is more like gardening than a race. something can be done when it’s done because there’s a print deadline or a hard frost or you have to put down the shears and see about the rest of your life, but in all other cases it’s just endless potential for noodling around in the dirt until you don’t feel like it anymore. there has never in history been a home garden in growing season where everything is done. i like to pet tomato leaves and maybe clicking “edit” on an old fic when i reread it to change three words and then change them right back is like that. i’m posting this one with no more fuss because i’m going inside to make tea.