#fun fact i never watched the final season of the Americans

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

I’m still obsessed with the bridge of The Smallest Man, especially with the visuals from tour playing into the whole military vibe of it.

The comparison to a sleeper cell spy just floors me, and it reminds me of the show The Americans, where a pair of undercover foreign (sleeper cell!) spies infiltrate suburban America, spending two decades presenting the illusion of the perfect nuclear American family with the house and the kids and the cars and respectable jobs, meanwhile they’re secretly assassins adopting whatever persona they have to with deadly accuracy to collect the information they need to sabotage the US during the Cold War and execute the people their motherland deems necessary. They manipulate their marks through charm offensives and sex and blackmail. (The infamous honey pot.) Even when they don’t kill someone, they end up ruining so many lives in their wake. All while looking and sounding just like their neighbours, blending in with frightening ease and able to slip in and out of these lives without a second thought.

In retrospect, the military-esque theme of the bridge makes so much sense: Were you sent by someone who wanted me dead? Did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed? Were you writing a book? Were you a sleeper cell spy? In fifty years will this all be declassified? It’s giving, “you studied me and learned my weaknesses, then crafted a plan to get me to give you what you wanted. I betrayed my homeland so you could go back to yours confident you’d accomplished your mission. You went in for the kill and vanished without a trace.”

It makes an already-painful song so, so much more disturbing.

[sinofwriting]

lover - Oscar Piastri

Words: 2,958 Summary: Press and fans find out during the Australian GP that Oscar isn’t single, in fact he is married. The more troubling part is the rest of the grid finding that out as well. Note(s)/Warning(s): Some drivers aren’t portrayed greatly in this, not because I don’t love them, but because they're a bit dumb and stupid. Some interesting thoughts about Lando and Max and Mclaren and Red Bull. Some angst. Logan is protective of Oscar and Oscar’s wife (his self proclaimed little sister). Slight NSFW at the end. Once again stating that I love all the drivers mentioned and written in this fic. (If anyone is interested in knowing more about my thoughts on the whole Lando, Mclaren, Max, Red Bull thing, send me an ask.)

Masterlist | Support Me! | lover verse

“Hey, Apples.” Oscar greets when he picks up the phone. “Os,” He frowns, stopping in his steps, ignoring how Lando is trying to wave him over for something. “What’s wrong?” She sighs, “You know how I said I wouldn’t get lost?” He breathes a sigh of relief that it's nothing serious, smiling again. “Lando’s trying to get my attention for something, but I’ll text Logan to get you. That okay?” “Yeah. I’ve missed our American boy.” Oscar scoffs, “you’ve missed him. I’ve had to deal with him.” She laughs, “Uh huh. I’ll let you go, but have fun talking to Lando. I’ll see you later, Os.” “Later, Apples.”

Ending the call, he quickly messages Logan. The message brief and he’s not surprised when the American driver sends back quickly a simple thumbs up.

“What’s up, Lando?” He asks, when he finally gets close enough to his teammate. “You’re married?” Oscar blinks at the British driver. This is what Lando had been waving him over for? Something he already knew. “Yeah. Have been.” His eyebrows press together. “Are you alright? Hit your head or something?” “No!” Lando shrieks, making him jump back. “You’re married. When did that happen?”

His shriek and loud words catch a few other drivers' attention and before Oscar can process it, he has Charles, George, Checo, Mick, and Lance also surrounding him, asking him if he’s really married.

The repeated question has him blinking widely, wondering if there’s something in the air that’s making them all have memory loss.

“Yes, I’m married. Why are you guys acting like this is new news?” “Non.” Charles says, eyes wide. “You can’t be married. You are a baby. Younger than Arthur.” He rolls his eyes at the words. “Fuck off, mate. I’m not a baby.” Charles pouts. “But you are so young to be married.” Oscar’s nose wrinkles at the words, lips pressing together. “Right.” He nods, holding back what he wants to say. “I don't know what to tell you guys. I’m married and I thought you guys knew.” George scoffs, “none of us had any idea. And twitter is going crazy, mate.” “What do you mean twitter? I’ve been married since I was eighteen. This isn’t a new thing.” “Eighteen!” Oscar nearly throws his hands in the air. “How did not one of you know? It’s public knowledge. Like all marriages.” He doesn’t mention the fact that he has definitely mentioned his wife in infront of all the drivers, they all obviously had trouble listening. Lando flushes, “I mean, you don’t really talk about yourself. So, I guess it just never got brought up?” He offers, though it feels a little weak and Lando can’t help but wonder if Oscar had mentioned it but he had just thought that it was a joke or had been tuning him out because it wasn’t team or race related.

“Late congratulations then Oscar. She is here, no?” Checo says. Oscar smiles at the older driver. It had felt odd that he had joined the rest of them, but it was clear he had joined because of the mention of another driver having a wife. They were few and far between. “Yeah, first race weekend this season.” “Give her my congratulations as well.” “I will.” He tells the older driver, watching as he leaves before turning his attention back to the other five.

“I’m private, but I’m not that private, you guys.” He says, and before one of them can say anything an American voice is speaking up from behind him. “Private about what?”

Logan eyes the five drivers surrounding Oscar, nearly cornering him. The girl next to him breath catches a little at the sight and he squeezes her a bit closer before dropping his arm from around her shoulder.

“Everything alright?” He asks, no one having answered his previous question. Oscar turns his head to throw him a grateful look before completely turning around seeing the girl beside him, a smile blooming across his face. “Logan find you okay?” He can see from the corner of his eye, her nod shyly, fidgeting under the stares of five complete strangers and Logan gives the girl he considers a little sister a light push to Oscar. Knowing that they’ll both feel better with some contact.

Logan turns his head to face her when she gives a light tug to his shirt and he easily tilts his head a little downwards to receive the kiss on the cheek she gives as silent thanks, trying not to smirk at the wide eyed looks the other drivers are giving him. He turns his head back to face them, when she joins Oscar, the youngest driver on the grid, easily wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close, though keeping her slightly tucked behind him.

“No one knew I was married.” Oscar tells him, answering his question from before. Logan’s eyebrows furrow. “What? It’s public knowledge.” He shrugs, “twitter is apparently going nuts. No one knew.” He then nods his head towards the five drivers in front of them. “Including other drivers.” He scoffs, “that’s a joke right?” None of them say anything and Logan can feel a simmer of anger starting in his gut. “Seriously. I’ve heard him mention her when all the drivers were around. Mark made a joke at the first race about him being married.”

No one of them say anything to that and Logan can feel his eyes narrow seeing Lando and George exchange a quick look.

It wasn’t necessarily surprising to hear that people on twitter were freaking out about it. It wasn’t something that first came up when you searched Oscar Piastri. But for not one of the drivers to know? Especially after hearing Oscar mention her? Mark make a joke about it? It rubbed him the wrong way.

He wondered if it was because when they all did a quick google on Oscar nothing about him being married came up. A combination of money buying a little privacy, though not enough to bury or hide a public marriage, and how private Oscar was as a person. He didn’t like talking about himself, was a little hard to make friends with unless effort was really put in or you were around him often enough. He also doubted that any of the drivers had really tried to get to know him due to the whole McLaren thing and the Alpine drama of last year. They only knew so much about Logan because everything was online about him, a problem with too much money, and he was willing to play into the whole about himself American persona.

It also makes him wonder if Oscar had been lying when he said that Lando and him were getting along. It was still early days, but for Lando not to know that Oscar was married? It spelled something that Logan didn’t like and the thought of Max not being the only teammate killer crosses his mind before he can stop it and he shakes his head. It was far too early for that and unfair to both Max and Lando. They weren’t the true issues or at least at the moment in Logan’s eyes Max wasn’t, their teams were.

Logan shakes his head at the silence from the other drivers still. He didn’t know what to say. Other than he wanted to tell them all to get their ears fucking checked. But he holds his tongue.

“Well now you guys know.” He tells them after another moment of silence. “This is Y/N, Oscar’s wife. And you already know all these guys.” She nods, giving them a small wave that Lance and Mick return before quickly walking away with quiet apologies. “You are a baby as well.” Charles says, eyes widening right after, clearly not having meant to say that. She looks at Oscar and then Logan. “I thought you guys said that Arthur was worse than him.” Logan laughs at the way Charles looks offended, mouth open in shock. “Charles has his moments.” Feeling a slight tug to his hoodie, Oscar gives a nod to his teammate and the other two drivers. “We have to get going. Talk to you tomorrow.” He tells them, before stepping away, knowing that Logan is following just barely not on their heels.

Logan and her both hang outside of the McLaren headquarters for the weekend, waiting for Oscar to come back from a quick talk with his race engineer.

“Lando.” She begins and she can feel Logan’s full attention on her. “Do I need to worry?” “Everyone likes him. He’s likable.” He tells her, trying to ignore what she’s getting at. Doesn’t want to think about the thought that popped into his head barely fifteen minutes ago. “Logan,” Her voice is a little harsh. “Do I need to worry about Oscar being teammates with him? We all saw what happened with Daniel at least with what the media said. And I’m grateful that McLaren gave Oscar one of his dreams. But do I need to worry that they will ruin him for Lando?” He can’t make his eyes meet hers, can’t when he can’t give her a sure answer. “I don’t know. Lando to McLaren is like Charles to Ferrari nearly, just not as predestined, I guess.” The words are sour sounding. “He still has good relationships with Daniel and Carlos.” “Max is called a teammate killer and he’s got a great relationship with Daniel. A fair one with Alex according to your texts. And we all know that it’s not him, but Red Bull that’s the killer.” He can’t help but glance around despite their whispers, wincing as she repeats his thought from earlier of Lando being perceived as a teammate killer. This really wasn’t the place to have this conversation, but he understood her need for some sort of answer. “I don’t know.” He repeats. “It’s still early. I want to say that McLaren will be fair to Oscar and treat him well, won’t treat him like a second class driver, but after them breaking a contract with Daniel.” He swallows harshly. “I don’t know.” And he hates that.

Getting into Formula 1, getting the chance that nearly all drivers dreamed of but only some got was supposed to be fun. Sure there was always going to be pressure and stress, but no one had warned him about the politics of it all.

“Okay,” she tells him, wrapping her arms around him in a hug and he can’t help but rest his head on her shoulder. Letting her bear his weight for a moment. “It’ll be okay Logan. And thank you.” “Of course.” He mumbles. And suddenly there’s another set of arms wrapping around him and her. He only doesn’t move or lift his head because he knows those arms and there’s an Australian accent in his ears.

“You alright, Logan?” He lifts his head to nod, not wanting to hurt her. “Yeah, just stress.” He squeezes them both a little tighter. “Can say that again.” Logan smirks, beginning to open his mouth but then a finger is poking between his ribs and he’s jumping out of the hug, rubbing at the spot with a pout. “Hey!” She shakes her head at him, pressing closer to Oscar as he presses a kiss to the top of her head. “Don’t get cheeky. You still coming to dinner with us?” Logan scoffs, “Of course. I’m not missing out on seeing Nicole and Chris.” “My parents will be there as well.” Logan throws his hands in the air, starting to walk backwards. “Why are we still here then?”

“Still missed him?” Oscar asks her as they start to follow him. She laughs at the dry but teasing tone. “Of course. He’s a great older brother.” “He is, isn’t he?” He has a put on suffering face, but there’s a fondness in his eyes as he looks ahead to where Logan is. “He is.”

“Is everything alright?” He asks, slowing their pace a bit more. She hesitates. “We’ll talk about it after dinner, but it should be.” His brows furrow at the response and he can’t help but squeeze her closer. “Are you okay?” “I’m all good, Os. Just worrying.” “Promise?” “Promise.”

—

“You’re worried.” He brings up nearly five hours later as they soak in the bath together, her back to his chest, his fingers interlaced, hands resting on her stomach and her hands resting on top of his. He can feel her breathing stutter and his heart clenches inside of his chest at the reaction. She had always been a bit of a worrier. He wasn’t exactly sure where she got it from, no siblings to inherit the trait from and her parents were fairly laid back. But this seemed different, more serious. “I had some thoughts about McLaren. I needed to talk to Logan about them. He had some of the same ones.” “Like?” She pauses, lips pressing together for a moment. “McLaren gave you your dream.” “One of my dreams.” He corrects her, picking up her left hand and pressing a kiss to her ring finger. Her wedding band and ring sitting on the bathroom counter instead of being where they belong. “One of your dreams.” She corrects. “They clearly favor Lando.” His hand and hers settling back where they were. “Lando’s an experienced driver, Apples.” he lets out a small laugh. “It’s only my first season. I’m a rookie.” “Oscar,” she turns slightly to look at him. “Daniel was a more experienced driver. He even got them their first win in how many years and look what they did to him?” He winces at the reminder. It would always slightly haunt him that the only reason he had a seat at McLaren is because they tossed Daniel like trash practically. Didn’t sit right with him and suddenly the solemness on her and Logan’s faces earlier made sense. “You two think they’ll do the same to me?” “I think that as long as Lando gives them some sort of positive result he’ll always be their number one. Even if you perform better.” He swallows at the words, because fuck it was looking like that wasn’t it?

Lando was a great driver, amazing, Oscar was thrilled to get to be his teammate and learn from him. But Daniel had pulled results from the McLaren, even if he hadn’t gotten as much as Lando did from it last season. It made no sense to get rid of an experienced driver or push him aside for a younger driver that would have years more left on the grid. And as he sits thinking about it, he’s reminded of how much last season McLaren put Lando first over Daniel, despite Daniel having a better chance or opportunity. Remembers some of the races he attended seeing Daniel’s frustrated, tired face as he got out of the car.

“You think Lando’s going to get called a teammate killer?” He knew her mind, knew it wasn’t a far stretch considering how Carlos was perceived at Ferrari and how Daniel wasn’t even racing this season. “I think that if people are willing to call Max one when Red Bull is clearly the problem, it’s a miracle that he hasn’t been called it already.” “Fuck.” He whispers, dropping his head to rest it on her shoulder. “I’m sorry.” She whispers and he lifts his head back up. “Don’t. We’re a team. This would have driven you mad keeping it to yourself.” It was a lot, but he was thankful it was being brought up now. Gave him more time. And god he’d have to bring it up with Mark. He could only imagine that the man would want to talk to her. Mark had always appreciated her thoughts and knew that they were a team. He didn’t just bring things to him, but to her as well.

“Charles doesn’t like me, I think.” Oscar can’t help but laugh. The tension that had filled the bathroom, leaving. “You did say that he was worse than Arthur.” “In that moment he was.” She defends and he presses a kiss to her cheek, still laughing. “Once he gets over being told he’s worse than Arthur, he’ll like you just fine.” “Think so?” “Know so.” He corrects. “Not many people dislike you, Apples.” “But you like me best.” She says, smiling. “Like you best and love you best. Love you so much.” He murmurs before pressing a series of kisses to her cheek making her giggle and then squealing when he manhandles her until she’s facing him, straddling him.

“Hi, Apples.” She beams at him and he can’t help but swallow at the brightness of her eyes. “Hi, Os.” “You ready for bed?” She lets out a little hum, wiggling her hips and his hands grasp at her waist, the lust that had started to simmer inside of him when he had turned her around growing at the pressure against his dick. “You have a race tomorrow.” “Is that a no?” “We haven’t had sex during a race weekend in over a year now. Don’t want you to be tired tomorrow.” “I’ll be alright.” He tells her, pressing her down a bit and can see the way her eyes dilate at the feeling of him growing hard underneath her. “Might even make me place higher.” “Well, only if you think it’ll make you place higher.” She teases and he can’t help but lean forward and kiss her.

She sighs into it, pressing closer to him, chests touching as he bites gently at her lip. “I’ve missed you.” She breathes when they separate, her eyes on the slight flushed face of her husband. “I’ve missed you too.”

---

Tagging: @ireadthensuetheauthors @copper-boom @lpab @gemofthenight @peachiicherries

[monzabee]

this is a relationship, that i don’t think anyone saw coming  – cl16

masterlist

Summary: The one where you and Charles think you are successfully fooling everyone on the grid, when in reality you are the ones being fooled.

Pairing: charles leclerc x merc!driver!reader

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: cursing, kissing, hiding a relationship (and doing it very badly), smut elements! (in one of the scenes, nothing penetrative), idiots to lovers, sexism and racism in motorsports, pop culture references (bad and many of them).

Request: “Hello! Can I request a charles leclerc imagine where the reader is a f1 driver and they try to hide their relationship from the paddock, but everyone knows and in the end they just reveal it. Thanks xx” + “this is not a request, but, can you use a dialogue from one of your favourite tv shows/series?”

Author’s Note: hi, hey, hello!! the title comes from an episode of the kardashians, but it was very popular on tiktok for a while so here you go! the request for this one was so good, and i had so much fun writing this, so i hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as i do. the dialogue i used for the second request/promt is from season 1 episode 9 of suits, which is one of my absolute favourite tv series of all time (even though it has too many legal inaccuracies), and you can watch the scene from here. ALSO, because i can never choose one, i decided to use another dialogue from season 1 episode 18 of gilmore girls, and i think it is the best piece of television ever written, and you can watch it from here. there are a bunch of pop culture references in there, so if you can spot them, you are a star! thank you anons for your requests, and i hope you guys enjoy this one! good morning, noon or night wherever you are, xoxobee

Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms. 

Charles is not stupid, in fact, he prides himself in being smart. However, as one of his best friends are looking at him with an unamused glare, he suddenly fears that he might have been stupid when he was getting ready before arriving at the venue for the party tonight.

“You are not dressed,” Pierre drawls, “What are you wearing?”

“A suit?” Charles asks, confused as he looks at his friend’s attire. “What are you wearing?” 

Pierre points to the outfit he’s wearing, which consists of brown pants with a linen shirt and a brown vest thrown over it, an annoyed look washes over his face as he explains, “I’m Indiana Jones, this is a costume party, Charles.” 

“Why would you have a costume party when you’re turning 27?” Charles’ face scrunches up in even more confusion. 

“Because it’s fun, and it’s my birthday.” Pierre rolls his eyes, “We have to do something about it; Kika, I need help!” He calls out to her girlfriend, who rushes into the room in a white dress and a very voluminous blonde wig. 

“What’s wrong?” Kika asks, her eyes falling on Charles’ outfits as she groans disappointedly, “Who are you supposed to be?” 

“I didn’t know!” Charles argues. 

“Mate,” Pierre objects, “it was on the invitation; ‘Hollywood Icons’?” 

“We can fix this,” Kika tries to offer Charles a supportive smile. “You could be… Patrick Bateman?” 

Charles’ eyes widen with shock, “From ‘American Psycho’?”

“Morbid, Kiks,” Pierre shakes his head. 

Kika shrugs, “He’s hot. What about Brad Pitt in ‘Mr. and Mrs. Smith’?”

“Does he even wear a suit in that one?” Pierre asks, still shaking his head in thought. 

Kika lets out a loud groan, “James Bond!”

“That could work–” Charles start saying at the same time Pierre objects, “The suit is not sharp enough.” 

“Then give him a tie, Pierre.” Kika frowns. “God, the two of you are like children, not even the girls had this much trouble, and the two of us almost matched.” 

You’re shivering when you finally arrive at the venue thanks to the thin trench coat thrown over your costume. You link your arm with Lily, who is holding Alex’s hand and the two of them are dressed up as Jack and Rose. “Why are we doing this, again?”

“Because we like Pierre, he is nice.” Lily turns to Alex to let him fix her ginger wig for her as she replies to you.

“I don’t know, I think I want to go back to the hotel.” You mumble, your hands nervously playing with the belt of your coat. 

“Just give it a try, Y/N,” Alex smiles at you. “We’ll take you back if you’re still feeling nervous.” 

You nod your head with a sigh as you let Lily pull you in towards the entrance of the apartment building. You’re too busy admiring the Italian architecture when you hear a squeal. “You guys made it!” Alex excuses himself to go greet some of the other drivers and you smile at Kika as she pulls you and Lily in for a hug at the same time as she chants, “I’m dying to see your guys’ costumes, show me, show me!”

You laugh softly as you take of your coat, pulling gasps from both of the girls looking over your outfit. “You both knew what my costume was going to be!” You whine, holding your coat close to your body. 

“I didn’t know it was going to be –” Lily starts, looking at Kika for help. 

“Tight,” Kika clears her throat, “it’s very tight, and your body looks amazing!” 

“You’re literally a model, Kiks,” you mumble, “can we please focus on Lily and how historically accurate her costume is? Not to mention yours, I mean, Marilyn?”

“You look amazing, Lily.” Kika agrees, giving her a warm smile. “And thank you, Y/N.”

“Thank you, Kika,” she turns to you, “thank you, Y/N. I’m going to find Alex, meet you at the bar?” 

“Sure, see you.” You tell her, smiling as she starts to walk towards the crowd. 

“Let me take your coat,” Kika leans over you. “You should grab a drink before more people arrive, Pierre made sure to invite half of the city, it seems like.” 

You thank her before she leaves to hang your coat, taking a deep breath as you start moving between dancing people, some of whom greet you as you make your way towards the bar. You give the bar tender a tight smile as you order yourself a gin and tonic, strawberry, of course. The first thing Charles notices about you is your hair, having memorised all the different tones mixed between your locks. His eyes travels down your body, his eyes linger particularly on your dress; the white bodice is connected to the tie dye skirt by a metal circle, and it is oh so tight, accentuating all your curves in the best way possible. His legs start to move towards you in their own volition when his eyes reach the leather thigh-high boots, his voice is thick as he approach you from your right. “Y/N.” 

You look at him with your lips parted in shock, your voice coming out in a low breath. “Charles, you’re here.” You let him take one of your hands into his as you lock eyes with him. “I thought you were going to be in Monaco.” 

“I was already in Italy for the car testing.” He explains, his fingers gently caress your inner wrist. “I’ve missed you. Were you back at home?” 

“I’ve missed you too,” a smile takes over your face, “yes, I’m trying to get used to changing cities.” 

“I’ll give you a private tour when we go back.” He offers, eliciting a giggle from you as you reach for your drink and take a sip from the straw. His breath hitches for a moment when he focuses too much on the way your red-painted lips close around the plastic, but he’s quick to shake it off. “Did you see the pictures on Twitter?”

“The ones with Frédéric?” You ask him and he nods in return. The pictures he is referring to being his new team principle giving your four-year-old niece some daisies. There is a teasing smile on your lips as you say, “Don’t worry, Charles, I’m not coming for a Ferrari seat. He was just giving Cecily some flowers when we were passing by.” 

“I wish you would’ve brought her into the garage, I’ve missed her.” The pout he’s sporting lets you know that he is being genuine and not putting on a show for your attention. 

“You know I couldn’t, I had to get back to my own garage before the race.” The emphasis you use makes him roll his eyes as his fingers occupy themselves with the stacked bracelets on your wrist. “Who are you supposed to be, anyway?”

“James Bond.” He replies in an unattached voice, exhaling a deep breath. “I didn’t realise it was a costume party.”

“Charles,” you laugh, head tilted to the side as you keep holding his gaze, “it was on the invitation, darling.” 

He groans, “I know that, now. Pierre was not impressed when I first showed up.”

“I can imagine.” You agree in a sympathetic voice. “Maybe we should’ve thought of something before you left last week.”

“Oh, yeah, like what? Vivian?” He smirks, his eyes going over your body once more, but without any shame this time. “Do you have any idea how great you look?”

“It was the last movie we watched.” You shrug, a coy smile on your lips. “Maybe you could’ve been a ballerina, like Natalie Portman, in ‘Black Swan’.” 

He lets out a hearty laugh. “Oh please, you know how good my legs would look in tights compared to yours.” 

“Oh, chéri,” You tut, stepping closer to him as you rake your fingers down on his tie. “You couldn’t if you tried.”

“I would crush you.” He challenges as he lifts an eyebrow.

You shake your head. “You wouldn’t touch me.” 

“Why not?” He asks, amused. 

You shrug in a nonchalant manner. “Because you'd be too busy staring at me in tights.” 

“No I wouldn’t,” Charles argues, shaking his head slightly. 

“You’re doing it right now.” You sing in a light voice. 

“You’re not wearing any.” He points out, his hands moving to rest on the bare skin of your waist, curtesy of the cut-outs your dress provides. 

You tug on his tie to draw him closer to you, his lips lingering near his ear as you whisper, “I’m not wearing any underwear.”

He is left speechless when you let him go, grab your drink and start walking towards your teammate, making sure to add an extra sway to your hips because you know Charles is watching you to confirm what you’ve just told him. 

You have a secret, and it’s big – big, huge. And it has something to do with the Monegasque laying beneath you. Charles talks about the last few days he spent at the Ferrari factory as you listen to him, your eyes focused on the way his face moves through various expressions when he talks about the car. Your chin is placed on your hands which are placed together on his chest, giving you the perfect view of his face. His fingers are moving on the bare skin on your back, the white bed sheet pulled up only enough to cover the globe of your ass. Although you try your best to keep up with his stream of consciousness, humming where accurate and asking him questions here and there, but Charles can see the sleepy look in your eyes through your hooded eyes. 

“Are you okay, mon soleil?” He asks, his chest rumbling with his voice underneath your hands. 

“Sleepy,” you mumble, leaning up against him to bury your face against the side of his neck, “you’re warm, though.” 

He pulls the sheet up your body; interpreting the way you shiver as you being cold, when the actual reason is the pleasure the skin to skin contact brings. “You can go back to sleep; we still have some time.” The incoherent mumbles leaving your lips makes him chuckle, which in return makes you smile against him. Your fingers trace over the edge of his five o’clock shadow, and you suddenly find yourself thanking whatever deity is up there that he forgot to shave because of all the commotion of travelling over the past few days. “What did you just say?”

“It’s just funny that you tell me I should sleep after you’ve kept me up the entire night, darling.” Your breathy chuckle hits the side of his neck as he lets out a chuckle of his own. 

“I didn’t hear you complaining at any point,” he raises one of  his brows, earning him a pat against his chest and you making yourself rise enough to glare at him. 

You try your best to frown at him, locking your gaze with his, as you can feel the heat starting to rise up to your face at the mention of your not so innocent activities of last night. “You’re incorrigible, Charles.” 

“Oh, chérie,” he coos, brushing the pad of his thumb over the swell of your cupids-bow. You’re about to give in and give him a kiss when he rises up, himself, with a frown and you in his arms. 

“What’s wrong?” You ask in a worried voice, following his line of vision to your closed bedroom door. 

“Does anyone else have your keys?” Charles asks, “I heard the front door open–”

Your eyes widen as you scramble to get off him, pulling the sheet up to cover your nakedness. “Charles, hide!” You hiss, while trying to force him to move. 

“Y/N?” You hear your assistant, Margo, yell through the house. “I got those thermal things you wanted!” 

“One second, please!” You call back to her, looking at Charles with pleading eyes. Thankfully, he manages to hide underneath the sheets just before Margo barges into the room. Even more luckily, the duvet over the sheets ends up hiding his body seamlessly. “Hi, Margo.” You give her the best smile you can muster up under the situation, your hand still clutching the bedsheet on your chest with enough force to make your hand hurt. 

“Oh my god, are you naked under there?” Margo babbles, a light blush covering her cheeks. “Since when do you sleep naked?”

“Um… I heard it’s good for your circulation?” You answer her in an unsure voice, causing Charles to tighten his hands on your thighs in warning, you have no idea how he managed to squeeze between them in the first place. “Thank you for the thermals, you’re an angel.”

“N-no problem.” She smiles at you nervously, obviously stressed because of the lack of clothes on your body for the sake of professionalism. “Toto wanted me to tell you that he is meeting up with Lewis for lunch later and asked me to ask you to join them if you were free.” 

“Sure, do you know wh-when?” You stutter during the last word, feeling Charles’ fingers and breath coming closer to your center. 

Margo checks her watch, then looks back up at you. “Around three, at that Italian place the team went out for dinner the last time.” 

You nod in acknowledgement as you try the remember the exact location of the restaurant she mentioned, gasping because Charles decides to give your clit a little lick before taking it between his lips to gently suck on it. “I’ll be there!” You rush out, hands gripping the white sheet even tighter. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Margo asks while eyeing you up with worry, “Should I take you to a doctor, or something?” 

“Oh no, I’m fine, honey.” You wave her off with a nervous chuckle. “I think it’s all in your – head!”

“Um.. okay. I’ll see you later, then.” Margo mumbles as she leaves your room with red cheeks. 

You throw your head back in a groan over the awkward encounter, waiting until hearing the front door open and close before pulling the sheets back and glaring at the man between your thighs, who still has his mouth on you, by the way. “You are evil, Charles, pure evil! What were you thinking?” 

He draws back slightly to raise a questioning brow. “Do you want me to stop?” However, he resumes his torture when you don’t answer him, looking up at you while grinning like the devil himself as he murmurs into your skin, “That’s what I thought.”

It’s hard, being a woman in the motorsport world, and especially in F1. While some may say it’s unprecedented, and you’d agree, you also think there’s going to be misogynistic pigs in any sector you might end up working in, so why not have some fun? The article comes out the day before the race, right before the qualifying session. You’re not the one to check your phone before going on track, but an urge to do so pokes at you when you realise people are giving you worried looks in the Mercedes garage. Your jaw tightens as you read through the article, fingers tightening around your phone as you read every single sexist comment being made about the way you dress, talk, and your entire F1 career and accomplishments being discredited just because of your gender. You’re absolutely fuming as you throw your phone onto the couch in your driver’s room and grab your helmet and balaclava as you walk briskly towards the garage. 

Both Toto and Lewis look at you with surprised, but worried, looks as you announce, “Make me go out first.”

“Are you sure, Y/N?” Toto asks, sharing a worried glance with Lewis. “You usually wait for a while for other people to–.” 

“No, I’m sure.” You tug on your balaclava as you add, “Make sure I’m on softs, please.” 

The two men watch you walk off towards your car, Lewis mumbling, “Hell hath no fury like the woman scorned.” The Austrian turns to him, eyebrows raised, which causes him to roll his eyes. “Yes, Toto, I read.”

You’re a force to be reckoned with on track during qualifying. Although having not the best start to the season, you push your Mercedes to its absolute limits, managing to outpace even the Red Bulls, and constantly asking your engineer for another lap until Toto has to ask you to retire for the day – in long story short, you are the pole sitter for the Sunday’s race. There are four people waiting for you when you get out of your car, those four people being: Toto, Susie, Lewis and Mick – though you’re pretty sure the latter was dragged into this intervention because you’re usually unable to get angry next to the reserve driver. 

“You were reckless out there, Y/N.” Toto frowns, crossing his arms over his chest (Mick copies his actions, nodding, as he does his best to give you a stern look). 

“I drove the best I have in over a year,” you argue, “we are starting on P1 tomorrow because of my driving today.” 

“I don’t care if we start P20, you know you shouldn’t have gone out there that angry!” Susie places a pacifying hand on your team principle’s arm when his voice gets higher. 

“We know you were angry about the article,” Lewis starts, but you cut him off as you grumble,

“A very astute conversation, Lewis.” You snap, not allowing him to continue as you begin ranting, “He called me a ‘Malibu Barbie’, and suggested that I should find another career, do you know how disheartening that is?”

“They called me Ken once,” Mick mumbles with a small pout on his lips, quickly mumbling “sorry,” when you give him a scathing look. 

“There will always be journalists who are against you and me,” Lewis goes on to remind you, “I told that before you signed, and before your first race.” 

“I know, but–” You stop to swallow down a sob, tilting your head back to delay the tears which are threatening to come out. “They implied that I’ve slept my way up to where I am today,” you inhale a deep breath as your voice wavers, “I’m so tired of my accomplishments being reduced to this.” 

“Men will always be afraid of women who have the ability to be better at their jobs than they are,” Susie smiles softly at you – soft, but not pitiful, you realise. “It doesn’t mean that we should give up, it means that we do our best to make sure they are proved wrong.” 

“You could’ve hurt yourself and others today,” Toto shakes his head, “you almost collided with both of the Ferraris.” 

Your entire break pauses at the mention of the red cars, mind quickly drifting to the owner of the eyes you love looking into, but you’re quick to snap yourself out, “Are they okay?”

“Both Carlos and Charles are fine,” Susie assures you.

“No more reckless driving,” Toto points a finger at you and then to Lewis, who raises his arms in surrender. “I mean it.” He pats you on the back before leaving, whispering a quick, “Good job today, kiddo.” 

“Why do I get in trouble because of you?” Lewis wonders aloud, his hands on his hips. 

“We haven’t been teammates for that long, Lewis.” You squint your eyes. 

“Are you okay, Y/N?” Mick asks with a concerned look on his face. 

You nod in thought, pointed to both of them. “I will be, but I need both of your help.” 

Mick gulps, voice tentative as he asks, “We’re not doing anything illegal, are we?”

After you’re done explaining your plan to your teammates, you say goodbye to both of them and make your way towards your driver’s room. Charles gets up, quickly, from the couch as you enter, shocked expressions on both of your faces. “H-how did you get in here?”

“I had to sneak in through the back,” he explains as he gets closer to you, hands quickly cup your cheek for his thumbs to swipe under your eyes. “Chérie, did you cry?”

“I- no!” You shake your head as you try to get him off. “I’m just- ugh, I’m just so angry!”

He lets you rant in his arms, eventually giving in and shedding a few tears of frustration, but he doesn’t comment until you’re done with your thoughts, and when he does comment, it is not to undermine your feelings. He takes you back to the hotel, and before the two of you leave your garage, he sneaks a soft kiss on your lips which has you melting in his arms. Unbeknown to you, Susie, Toto and Lewis watch the interaction from the other end of the corridor, with the latter murmuring, “Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.” Lewis gives Toto a side-eye as the team principle looks at him with the same surprised look from before, “For the last time, man, I read!”

All the eyes in the car are on you, the next morning when you, Mick and Lewis arrive to the track in the same car. “You ready to leave?” Lewis asks you, looking at you from the rear-view mirror from the passenger seat; Mick drove to the track instead of you because you told them both there was no way you were driving with the heels you wore today. 

“It’s now or never,” you mutter, subconsciously fixing your hair.

“Give them hell.” Mick turns back to smile at you, and you give him a nervous smile as you exit the car. 

A few people around the entrance turn to give you funny looks, you reply to some of them by offering a thin-lipped smile. The real show starts when you finally enter the racing grounds, photographers turning to snap a picture of you when they realise it’s actually you. You plaster on a plastic smile, waving at them as you do your absolute best to walk in the 6-inch heels which were definitely not the brightest idea you’ve ever had.

“Hi, Barbie!” A similar voice calls out to you, and you smile genuinely for the first time as you call back. ,

“Hi, Ken!” You turn towards Pierre, pushing your sunglasses up towards your hair as you watch the Frenchman walk towards you with Carlos and Charles behind him. 

“Please tell me it’s a wig,” Carlos frowns, his eyes lingering on your suddenly platinum hair. 

“I’m having fun as a blonde, Carlos.” You shrug innocently, your arms crossing over your chest, and the pink dress you’ve decided to wear for the occasion. 

Pierre nods in support, “Blondes do have more fun, Carlos.” 

“I- Why?” Carlos asks, not getting the joke shared between you and Pierre. “I don’t understand.” 

“Fine, no soup for you, then.” You mumble rolling your eyes. However, your eyes widen when you realise he genuinely doesn’t get the reference. “Seriously- Carlos, it’s from Seinfeld.” 

“I’ve never watched it.” He admits, his frown still prominent on his face. 

“It’s okay, mate,” Pierre assures him taking him away to explain the joke to him, which leaves you and Charles alone. 

You turn to Charles with a coy smile on your face. “You like the new look?”

“I- but, when?” He asks you, more confused then ever. “You were not blonde when I left last night.”

“Mick bought the dye for me.” You explain, trying to supress a grin. “We stayed up all night trying to bleach my hair.” 

“You stayed up all night?” Charles asks, more concerned now that he learns that you didn’t have a good night’s sleep. “That’s so wrong, mon soleil, why did you do it? Is it about the article? Of course, it is.” 

“Charles, calm down, darling.” You place a hand on his chest, even though you’re hyperaware of the fact that both of you are out in the open. “I’m just going to prove something, alright? I feel fine.” 

“You should’ve slept.” Charles frowns, taking a deep breath. “Are you sure you feel good enough to be in a car?”

You nod excitedly. “Positive, I have a race to win. And wait until you see what Lewis and I are going to wear.” 

“I can’t wait, chérie.” 

Just as you promised Charles, you win the race. Your pace is even better than the previous day, but instead of being fuelled by anger, you are fuelled by determination to win. Your engineers play Aqua’s Barbie Girl as a surprise, and to make things even better, Lewis and you stand on the podium in a Mercedes 1-2 in your matching pink helmets and shoes – even Toto donned pink glasses for the occasion. Charles lets out a hearty laugh alongside you on the podium when he sees your outfits. Yeah, you decide in that moment, this one is for the girls.

You and Charles’ relationship happened so unexpectedly, but that doesn’t mean that you regret a secret moment of it. It all started when you were moving to Monte Carlo at the end of last year’s season, and Charles was the only one available to help you in the process – not that you asked him of course, he offered you to help because he is a gentleman like that. It didn’t take the both of you long enough to go on dates as you spent more and more time together, and it was a natural transition to both of you dating each other exclusively. Despite what you expected, the first time Charles actually kissed you was on a cliff overlooking the entirety of Monte Carlo, the view was beautiful, but you were still apprehensive because of your location on the cliff. So, being the gentleman he is, Charles offered to hold you, and that’s when he decided to kiss you. 

Lewis comes back to the table after taking a phone call as he apologises, “Sorry, I was on the phone; long distance.”

“God?” You ask him, mockingly nodding, which makes George and Carmen laugh.

“London,” Lewis clarifies as he gives you a questioning look. 

You gasp as you ask. “God lives in London?” 

“No, my mother in lives in London.” Lewis replies in the calmest voice he can muster. 

“You mother is God?” You ask right back, without the appearance of joking. Your small discussion grabs the attention of other drivers and couples as the two of you continue bickering. 

“Y/N,” Lewis tries to warn you, but you continue on with your rant. 

Leaning towards Charles, Alex and Lily who are seated close together, you announce, “So, God is a woman.” 

“Y/N!” Lewis groans this time. 

“And my teammates mother, it’s so cool! I’m definitely going to ask for strategy points for the next season.” 

The table shares a laugh as you and Lewis continue bickering back and forth, eliciting laughs from people who watch you with amusement. Eventually, Pierre clears his throat. “Okay, what is everyone’s plans for the break?” he asks, trying to look over the long table. 

“Isa and I are off to Mallorca,” Carlos announces as she presses a sweet kiss to his cheek. 

“I’m going back home,” Yuki shrugs. 

“I’m going to see Chloe and Scotty,” Lance mumbles, “and probably Daniel, too.” 

Everyone goes around to announce their plans for the break, but when it comes to you and Charles, you are nervous as you announce, “I’m just going to stay home, get to know the city, you know?”

“Yeah, same.” Charles nods, thinking he got away with his evasive answer. 

“You’re going to get to know the city you were born and raised in?” Fernando asks with a knowing smirk. 

“You can always find new things if you know where to look,” Charles replies in a serious tone, trying to appear stern as he nods to strengthen his point. You’re busy squeezing his hand under the table to death. 

“Yeah, like what?” Max asks, which earns him a slap on the arm from Kelly. “What? I’m curious.” 

“Like, umm, like-like cafés, and bookshops, and you know those little stores which sell souvenirs but not the generic kind?” He rambles, trying to think of more examples. 

“Okay that’s enough,” Lewis cuts him off, shaking his head as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “We all know the two of you are dating. The entire grid, and engineers, and probably most of the team principles.” 

“What?” You laugh nervously, trying to shrug him off. “Don’t be stupid.” 

“Yeah, we are not dating.” Charles shakes his head, his octave going up as he receives looks from people around the table. “We are not!”

“Drop the act, it’s disgusting the way you two look at each other.” Checo complains from the other side of the table. 

“Yeah, and I can see him doing stuff to your hand under the table.” Lance winces. 

“He is not doing stuff to my hand under the table!” You squeal, but Charles is too busy trying to contain his laughter next to you. “Is this funny to you, Charles?” 

“I mean, a little bit,” Charles confirms, finally succumbing to his laugher, “we have nothing to hide now, chérie.”

“I knew it!” Pierre exclaims, “I told you I saw them together at my birthday!” He tells his girlfriend. 

“Toto and I saw them kissing after quali,” Lewis shrugs. 

You gasp as you turn towards him. “You did not!”

“Yes we did,” Lewis argues, “even Susie saw.” 

Charles pulls you towards himself, still laughing over people arguing whether they saw you together over the past year or not, as he wraps your arms around your shoulder, you murmur to him, “I am so crashing next to him next year, Daniel style.” You take a pause to think, “No, Mazepin style.”

“Maybe not crash into your teammate for the sake of poor Toto, mon soleil.” 

You let out an unsatisfied grumble as you hear Alex complain to Lily, “Why didn’t she tell me? I thought we were best friends!” You groan and look around the table at all the people around you, who are all surprisingly supportive of your relationship, you smile as you press a soft kiss to Charles’ lips. 

He grins as he asks, “What was that for?”

“Nothing,” you shrug, “I just think you’re pretty cool.” 

“I think you’re pretty cool, too, my love.” He mumbles and gives you another kiss despite few groans coming from around the table. 

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Lena Horne (Cabin in the Sky, Stormy Weather)— Incredibly talented biracial actress, singer, dancer, and activist (she did so much work towards integrating audiences). Because of the racism of the era, she rarely got to be the lead actress but filmmakers loved her so much that they would often create stand alone segments within a film to highlight her beautiful singing, knowing that these segments would ultimately be cut from the film by censors in areas that forbid films with Black performers. Also, she's just so wonderful in Cabin in the Sky as a gold-digger villain who is not the least bit subtle about her intentions. I would highly recommend checking out her work.

Ginger Rogers (Swing Time, Top Hat)—Look I’ll level with you, I’ve never seen her in a musical and I know that she’s an amazing dancer and she’ll be even hotter when I finally watch Top Hat but I’m not submitting her as a dancer I’m submitting her as an ACTRESS. Her comic timing is impeccable!!!!! She’s full to bursting with life and in every role she seems to be having FUN, you can practically feel the twinkle in her eye. With her natural warmth it’s like she’s letting you in on the joke, y’all get to have this fun together! Making me laugh is hot!!! [If you'd like to see Ginger dance, videos below the cut]

This is round 3 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Lena Horne:

64.media.tumblr.com

Black American powerhouse singer and actor who faced all the usual bullshit that any BIPOC faced in vintage Hollywood and achieved legendary status anyway. Also a Civil Rights movement icon.

She was a gem

She was so beautiful and those dimples are amazing! Truly depressing how badly Hollywood treated her because she was black. I would love to have seen what she really could have been if they didn’t cast her in so many yikes roles. She’s got gorgeous eyes and that body! Her joyful smile makes happiness sexy!

Civil rights actress, singer, dancer, actress, she's got the whole package

Lena Horne was a wonderful singer and actress who largely starred in black cast musicals. While she had a lot of main stream success, she ultimately lost the lead role in showboat (a role she had played on the stage) to a white actress due to hollywood's prejudices. She was also blacklisted during the HUAC hearings, but she still managed to be hot be hot as fuck and have a career spanning decades, working with more well-known stars like Judy Garland in musicals, and working on stage and releasing albums when her hollywood career began to suffer.

Miss Horne became famous during a period of time when Hollywood had very few meaningful roles for people of color. Although she is more so known as a performer, she starred in two successful all black productions (Cabin in the Sky & Stormy Weather). If that wasn't enough, she also guest starred on the Muppets (Season 1, Episode 11)

Ginger Rogers propaganda:

She needs no introduction! An undeniable powerhouse on the dancefloor, and no less talented an actress. I once watched a compilation of cinema's greatest dance scenes and one of her and Fred Astaire's dances was featured, and one of the talking heads said he pitied her for 'having to keep up with him' - or something to that effect. Bullshit, I cry. Ginger Rogers was his absolute equal, and underplaying her incredible skill is downright criminal. I want the 'Cheek to Cheek' sequence from Top Hat to be permanently burned into my memory.

"Backwards in high heels", as the saying goes (though the pedant in me must point out that she in fact spent her fair share of time leading or dancing side-by-side). One of the earliest twinkle-toed ladies of the silver screen, and in terms of acting/persona, her balance of wide-eyed cuteness and movie-star glamour has never quite been replicated.

we all know her beloved string of musicals with fred but ginger also has an extensive and varied non-fred filmography that she's great in! a few ginger moments that are important 2 me personally ginger singing “we’re in the money” in gold diggers of 1933, complete with a verse in pig latin bc this whole movie is kinda mocking the concept of anyone actually being in the money in 1933; ginger and una merkel singing a verse of “shuffle off to buffalo” in 42nd street, providing some statler & waldorf-esque commentary on newlyweds from the upper berth of a railway car (interesting that belly was apparently a risque word in 1933 - maybe its bc the lyric is innuendo-ing about out of wedlock pregnancies - and that panties was a term for men’s underthings!); a favorite fred & ginger number

Ginger Rogers could do everything! She could sing, dance and act. She was hilarious in comedies, moving in dramatic roles (she won an Oscar for Kitty Foyle in 1940) and absolutely gorgeous!

Listen, no shade to Fred Astaire at all, but she both kept up with him step for step and then later went on to WIN AN OSCAR FOR ACTING. (which he did not.) truly a double threat!!!

One of the best dancers in Hollywood! Her work with Fred Astaire is just incredible.

ONE LINE: "Everything Fred did, Ginger did backwards and in heels" AND THEYRE RIGHT! Rogers was a total dance badass, and a lot of movie buffs know the story, but the Never Gonna Dance number from Swing Time took almost 50 takes, and allegedly by the end of filming it her white shoes had been stained pink because her feet were bleeding. As a note, she looks crazy gorgeous in this number. Watching these two dance is insane. They match up to each other in a way my mom describes as "divine" and she's right. DANCE NUMBERS!

Let's Call The Whole Thing Off (Shall We Dance, 1937, dancing starts at 3:14, they're in ROLLERSKATES)

(Ginger Rogers is the hottest woman ever to live in this number. seeing this as a teenager altered my brain chemistry)

(also watch her feet and how she moves opposite Astaire in this one. We all know our boy Freddie had that precision demon but jesus christ Miss Rogers, let a girl live!)

Pick Yourself Up, Swing Time 1936 (Everyone's seen this one but by god you are going to see it AGAIN!)

Shall We Dance, 1937 (duet begins at 2:34)

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes, Roberta 1935 (There's just something about Ginger Rogers in a slick black dress man)

The Continental, The Gay Divorcee 1934

God she's MAGIC in this one.

Gay Divorcee's Ending Montage 1934

The infamous table and chairs spin happens at about 0:49. Pay CLOSE attention to her in this bc it looks like witchcraft and I feel lightheaded whenever I watch this movie bc shes THAT awesome.

She is a miracle to watch. Sorry for the sheer amount of clips. My entire family is like madly in love with Ginger Rogers.

[cartoonrankings]

10 Cartoons With The Best Racial Diversity

Diversity is important in cartoons, and while racial diversity has been done well a lot for a while, I am happy to say that it is continuing to be done more and executed in a better fashion as time goes on! Today, I will be discussing what are, in my opinion, the 10 cartoons with the best racial diversity.

10. OK KO! Let’s be Heroes

Kicking off the list with a series that was also featured in my list counting down the cartoons with the best LGBTQ representation! OK KO! Let’s be Heroes had many awesome instances of racial representation throughout as well. A good portion of characters all have different races, which is amazing to see! While many shows do have different races between characters, one thing that separated OK KO! Let’s be Heroes from the rest was one episode called “No More Pow Cards”, in which KO’s friend Dendy feels that she will never be a hero due to the fact that her turtle race has been viewed as monsters. Due to this, these cards that KO and Dendy collect do not represent Dendy’s race. However, instead of just letting that happen, KO and Dendy confront the CEO. When seeing Dendy, the CEO sees that some of the Kappa are heroic, and due to this, he finally allows Kappa cards to be made. This episode was one of the main standouts to me, but aside from that, the series does stand strong in the field of representation!

OK KO! Let’s Be Heroes was a Cartoon Network series that ran from 2017 to 2019 for a total of 3 seasons and 112 episodes. The series was about Kaio Kincaid, also known as K.O. who hopes to become the world’s greatest hero. While hoping to accomplish this, he works at a store known as Gar’s Hero Supply and Bodega, which sells a variety of items, whether that be food, or even hero supplies. He works alongside two other employees known as Radicles and Enid. Oftentimes, the trio have to fight off Boxmore, a store that sells items to supervillains. OK KO: Let’s Be Heroes! is an amazing series with a unique artstyle, interesting characters and a great concept! It is definitely an amazing series that is racially diverse, and just a good series in general!  You can watch OK KO! Let’s be Heroes on HBO Max or Hulu!

9. The Hollow

Now, we move onto another show that I feel is quite underrated! The Hollow was a series which had a diverse main cast, all having a different race. Furthermore, the characters all feel normal, and they do not act differently based on their race, making them all feel more human. Having almost every main character different worked very well for me because it just felt that the series had the goal of showing people that different groups can get along well regardless of race. This series was one that was made in Canada, and in Canada, diverse groups like the one in The Hollow is very common.

The Hollow was a series running from 2018 to 2020 for a total of 2 seasons and 20 episodes. The series takes place in a strange world, where three teenagers named Adam, Mira and Kai all wake up. The three do not have any memories, and all they have at the time they wake up are each other. Due to this, the three work together to explore this new world, and to find their way back to their home (wherever their home is). However, they soon find that this world is not all that they think it is. The Hollow was a great series to me. Alongside its highlights, I loved the worldbuilding present in the series. Furthermore, the darker colors really stood out to me! It really matches with the feel of the show! It was definitely a fun series, and I do wish Netflix treated it better! You can watch The Hollow on Netflix!

8. The Loud House

Now, the Loud House is definitely another series that has to be mentioned if talking about diversity! The series has a lot of diversity among the different characters, from the Loud’s being a family with a Scottish Heritage, Lincoln’s best friend being African-American, and another family somewhat close to the Loud’s, the Santiago’s are Mexican! Furthermore, the series is a great representation of how different families can be as they have different struggles that they face, and different circumstances overall. The Loud House may have a bit of a negative reputation these days, but diversity is one thing it did well!

The Loud House is a series that is currently running on Nickelodeon. It has been a Nickelodeon hit series since 2016, and it has so far had 6 seasons consisting of 156 episodes. The series revolves around the Loud family, a family of 10 sisters and one single brother. The show is mostly focused on the brother, Lincoln, with some episodes focusing on certain sisters. The sisters, from oldest to youngest are Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lana, Lola and Lily. Each of them have their own unique quirk, whether that be being good at a sport (Lynn), being a great musician (Luna), or even being filthy (Lana). The family often go through different sorts of adventures, some of which being adventures that most everyday families go through, with others being a bit more quirky than your average real life family. While the series is mostly episodic, there is some change as the series goes on, but none of these changes are huge. The Loud House has a lot to love! I love how there are so many characters, but all have unique quirks to set them apart, I love the comic book art style and I love the wholesomeness it has! While it is not as good as it was when it first aired, The Loud House is still pretty great to me! You can watch The Loud House on Netflix!

7. The Ghost and Molly McGee

I’m sure someone expected a Disney show in here somewhere seeing how I am obsessed with Disney, and I had to have The Ghost and Molly McGee in here somewhere! Now, this series was a standout to me because it includes a bi-racial main character who is half Irish and half Thai. The series is great at representing what our current society looks like - a mix of all sorts of races and religions. In fact, there was a whole episode where Molly was confused on her heritage, and was trying to find out where she truly belongs. Furthermore, while this is not direct, the ghost and Molly’s friendship symbolizes inclusiveness to me. The reason for this is because the two are clearly different in terms of their backgrounds, but once they meet, Molly is excited to have a friend, which shows kids that having friends that are not similar to you doesn’t have to be scary, and it can even be exhilarating!

The Ghost and Molly McGee is a series which aired first in 2021 on Disney, and is still airing! The series is about a 13 year old girl named Molly, who alongside her family moves to a rusty old house. Little did they know that this house has been inhabited by a ghost. Now, unlike most teenage girls, Molly wants to be his friend. He puts a curse on Molly, but that only brings them closer together! While he does not like Molly at first, he slowly opens up to her as well, and they eventually become good friends! Now, there is a lot to love about The Ghost and Molly Mcgee! Firstly, I love the designs and the brighter colors the show has. Furthermore, I love how vibrant the characters are! While The Ghost and Molly Mcgee is one of my less preferred shows from Disney’s more recent hits, I still have lots of love for it and hope it succeeds! You can watch The Ghost and Molly McGee on Disney +!

6. Amphibia

Now, I had to include this somewhere as it definitely has great representation for a variety of different races! The three main friend group consists of three girls, all of a different race - one of which being Thai, one being German and one being Taiwanese. Outside of the three main girls, many of the human characters are also represented through different races, which can be seen with the girl's classmates or even their principal. Amphibia has definitely done well with the representation, and they have shown how a normal society is with different races of people interacting with others, and not just sticking to one race in the series, like some do.

Amphibia is a series running from 2019 to 2022 on Disney, and has had a total of 3 seasons and 58 episodes through its runtime. The series revolves around Anne Boonchuy, a middle schooler, who steals a box with her friends Sasha and Marcy. However, they were in for a bit of a surprise. The box was actually a magic box, and once they stole it, they were transported to a new world, which is known as Amphibia. Amphibia differs from their regular world because it is full of frogs. When waking up in this new land, Anne realizes that she has been separated from her friends. Now, she must go on a quest to not only get back home, but to find them along the way to take them with her. She is originally found by a frog named Sprig, who came with the purpose of hunting her. However, after he finds her, they become good friends, and Anne moves in with them temporarily. However, along with meeting new friends like Sprig, she also runs into quite a few obstacles. Now, Amphibia is truly one of my favorite shows! I love everything from the characters to the humor to just the concept of middle school students getting sent to a frog world! It is definitely a great show, and I am glad to have found it! You can watch Amphibia on Disney Plus!

5. 6Teen

6Teen was another Canadian series that accurately captured Canada’s feel. In Canada, we have such a diverse range of people, and we get to see so many people mix around and mingle. In 6Teen, we have a mixture of different races among the main six characters, and we have the different background characters all from different ethnic groups. Seeing this accurately represented in a TV series was great, and it made me connect with the different characters.

6Teen was a series which ran from 2004 to 2010 for a total of 4 seasons and 93 episodes. It is about 6 teens who are 6teen! The teenagers go by the names of Wyatt, Jude, Jen, Caitlin, Jonesy and Nikki. They all just go through typical teenager situations that we all have been through, with some definitely being more insane than others! These situations are all that I am sure that we can relate to, whether that be the pressure of making money, the pressure of school, the pressure to impress a crush, you name it! Now, 6Teen is definitely a loveable series! Some of the standout attributes for me are the raunchy humor that was not overdone, the relatability and the development of certain characters (especially Caitlin). 6Teen is definitely an amazing series, and the diversity was a highlight! You can watch 6Teen on the YouTube channel Retro Rerun or on Tubi!

4. Detentionaire

I previously mentioned an underrated show, but now, we will be talking about what I think is the most underrated show! Detentionaire is a pretty unique show when it comes to diversity. The show takes place in a high school, and the different cliques that the school has is similar to cliques you would find in real life. Furthermore, the school has a bunch of different races and ethnicities mixing along. While many of the different characters in these cliques seem like stereotypes in the first few episodes, the series illustrates how while someone may seem shallow from surface level, they have much more to them. While the series is mainly focused on the main character, some background characters get shine on them, and we learn much more about them than we thought they had. Detentionaire did a great job at illustrating that all sorts of people are more than what we think they are, and that all people do go through different circumstances.

Detentionaire revolves around a highschooler named Lee, who on his first day of school, gets framed for a huge prank, and gets a year of detention for this. With some help from his friends, he goes on a quest to clear his name by investigating different students and cliques. However, early on, he realizes that whatever is going on is more than the prank. Instead, he finds out that the prank was just a small set piece that connects to this huge government level conspiracy. He is not the only person who has a connection to this conspiracy - his parents do as well! Due to his connection, he realizes that the whole world may be at stake unless he does something. Now, Detentionaire is so great that I do not know where to start - firstly, I would say that the characters all feel like what you would see at an actual high school, and as they open up, it makes them all feel very real. Furthermore, I love the plot progression - the show really starts with a prank in episode one, and by the final episode, he is trying to stop an ancient pyramid from opening up as an ancient species is inside, waiting to take over Earth. Finally, the mystery itself was a pleasure to watch as it had so much depth to it, and each answered question would open up many new questions! Detentionaire is one of my favorite shows, and I could go on forever talking about how amazing it is! You can watch Detentionaire on the YouTube channel Retro Rerun, or on Tubi!

3. Glitch Techs

Now that we already have a Nickelodeon show down, I might as well add another one to the list! Glitch Techs was another series that had great diversity! The series had two main characters, with one being a Mexican American, and the other one being a Japanese-American. The Glitch Techs (which is the name of the group as a whole) has a lot of members of different races, whether that be Zahra, who is an Arab-American girl that actually wears a hijab, or the Leader, Mitch, who is a Black British male. Now, I brought up these two in particular because they really stood out to me. I do not usually see characters represent their religion by wearing hijabs in animated TV shows, so it was amazing to see! Furthermore, I have watched lots of cartoons, and it’s rare for me to see a black character leading a group, which I always found sad as they are underrepresented! Seeing this in Glitch Techs made me really happy!

Glitch Techs is about two teenagers named Hector and Miko. The two often work together to stop “glitches”, which are video game characters that leave the game and try causing havoc on their world. Now, there is a lot to love about Glitch Techs, whether that be the concept alone, the vibrant and as I mentioned earlier, diverse characters, or the amazing designs that the series uses! Glitch Techs is an amazing series, and it truly deserved better from Nickelodeon! I hope that one day, it gets the continuation it deserves! You can watch Glitch Techs on Netflix!

2. Dead End: Paranormal Park

Now, I recently started Dead End: Paranormal Park, and I have to say that in the field of representation, it is spectacular! The series has a variety of characters of different races. For instance, the main character Barney is white, while his best friend/co-worker Norma is Pakistani. Through the series, there are many other characters coming from different races such as his boyfriend Logan, who is Vietnamese. Another thing that makes the diversity powerful to me is that each of the characters are being played by a person who is the same race as that character, which, to me, is going above and beyond to contribute to a diverse environment. Many shows do not do this, but Dead End: Paranormal Park stood out for this.

Dead End: Paranormal Park is a Netflix original that originally aired early this year for a season of 10 episodes, with plans for a second season to come out soon. Dead End: Paranormal Park revolves around Barney and Norma who were recently hired at a new theme park that is actually haunted. However, aside from being actually haunted, there is actually some big lore that is being built upon. From the first scene itself, we see Pauline Phoenix, the actress who the park is based off, get killed. This indicates what there is to come! Dead End: Paranormal Park is one of the more recent shows I have checked out, and there is so much greatness the show offers! I love the representation, the color choices they use and the horror elements (I will be rewatching it this Halloween! Dead End: Paranormal Park is a great show with awesome representation, and it is probably my favorite series that came out this year! You can watch Dead End: Paranormal Park on Netflix!

1. Craig of the Creek

I have seen many shows, but in terms of racial diversity, Craig of the Creek is outstanding! The series has had so much when it comes to racial diversity as we get introduced to so many characters of different ethnic groups. For instance, we have the main character, who is African American, but outside of that, we have Indian characters, East Asian characters, you name it! The characters are not only all there and have an important role, but these characters also all embrace their different ethnicities, and the specific cultures that the characters have are mentioned in the series! For instance, one of the Indian characters Raj, had a short dedicated to him and his grandma, where the main character Craig was trying to learn more about their culture. Acts like these go a long way as they encourage children to embrace their culture and to not be ashamed of it. Craig of the Creek also showed how so many different people can become great friends regardless of the ethnicity they are from. The main cast of characters are all so diverse, and instead of running from that diversity, they all embrace it and continue to spend time with each other.

Craig of the Creek is a series that is currently running. It started in 2017, and through its time, it has had a total of 3 seasons with 120 episodes. The series was about a young adventurous boy named Craig, who often goes on different sorts of adventures at this creek he lives near. He is accompanied by his friends Kelsey and JP. The adventures vary from episode to episode. Sometimes, they are more nature-esque in the creek, and sometimes they are more technical. Whatever they are upto though, is always entertaining to see. Now, with me, I love the character designs (with JP being my favorite), I love the characters who bring these designs to life, and I love the wholesome feeling that I get when watching it as it definitely has some touching moments. I am almost caught up with Craig of the Creek, and I have to say I definitely love it from what I have seen! You can watch Craig of the Creek on HBO Max!

So these were the 10 cartoons with the best racial diversity in my opinion! Which ones did you agree with? Disagree with? Would you change anything? And follow me for more cartoon-related blogs!

[panelshowsource]

hi, sarah! i see you've watched a lot of british panel shows/comedians and i need a specific recommendation: where to start with dara o briain? he's right now my favourite taskmaster contestant ever and after listening to his episodes on the tm podcast and off menu, and watching him on wilty, i'm completely in love with his humor and manner of speech. what are the "must see" things he's done in the past? he's such a prominent figure in british tv but idk how to choose what to watch next

i have watched a lot of panel shows...you got that right hehehe...

i'm happy for you that you found someone you really like and get to explore a lot of new content! i gotta say, that doesn't happen often for someone quite so famous and prolific like dara, so it's fun for me to think back to all the stuff he's been in :')

he's a comedian, but he's also known for being mr big smarty pants, so he's done a lot of comedy programmes as well as smarty pants programmes & documentaries. you may choose to start in one of these distinct directions if there's a side of dara you like best! let me start with a few of my own faves...

he's probably best known — definitely by my followers, but also in general — for being the long-time host of the news-focused panel show mock the week, which JUST ended after 17 years. of the panel shows about news, of which there are many, this one is the most accessible and the most silly. dara is a GREAT host and has hilarious dynamics with the regular panelists, especially his literal best friend ed byrne (who we heavily stan). in fact, on mtw, you'll also see lots of other taskmaster contestants you may recognise, including panel captain and cult fave hugh dennis, frankie boyle, russell howard, and ed gamble. i know 17 years is A LOT, so if you've never seen the show and aren't sure where to start, i'm gonna recommend you give series 15 a go — as a new-er panel show fan, i think a more recent season like this one will be most accessible. also, this compilation of comedians roasting dara on mtw for half an hour is fucking hilarious lmaooo

dara has been on tons of panel shows as a panelist opposed to hosting, and you'd be amiss not to catch up on him on qi! one of stephen's smart lil boys and a clever laugh, he was made for that show. you can find dara's episodes here and i have all of qi linked on the masterpost! if you've never seen qi here's a silly clip that is mostly sean being one of stephen's naughty lil boys but it's a great example of the learning a lot/learning absolutely nothing dichotomy that can happen with a great panel (including dara!!)!

apart from that, i'd highly recommend you watch his stand-up! i put two specials on drive for you, 2012's craic dealer and 2015's crowd tickler (sorry for the mid quality — they're just dvd rips). these are pretty perfect for blossoming dara fans because they're funny, witty, clever, goofy — all the things we love about dara at once!!

as for my final personal recommendation, you should definitely check out dara & ed's great big adventure, a bbc two miniseries where the besties travel along the pan-american highway! they have top-tier wholesome bantz, ed is very fucking goofy (you will find quickly that being a fan of dara is being a fan of ed hahaha), and they explore some very beautiful cultures. i will work on getting decent rips of the show for my drive, but in the meantime you can watch this on dailymotion!

it would be amiss if i ended the recs here, because dara has hosted a lot of different series — but these series are based around very specific interests of his. some of the big ones include the following: go 8 bit, one of his most recent shows about classic and indie video games, very nostalgic with fun guests; science club (if you need full eps of this lmk, i should be able to get them but it will just take a lil time) and school of hard sums, nerds talking about science and maths, def have qi vibes; and the underrated stargazing live, broadcast every winter and when dr brian cox & our fave amateur astronomer mr ó briain talk about stars and shit! these are less necessary watching and more worth watching if the topics tickle your fancies~

okay i hope that helps!! there is obviously so much more to his career — including his many books — but i think this is overwhelming enough and i hope you don't mind the long post! feel free to catch us up on what you're enjoying down the line, we love dara and hearing what others love about him too :')

[wurdulac]

last year i wrote a list of media that touched me. bcs i have shit for memory i was noting down things i watched, played etc. this year. so here's the list.

the city and the city by china miéville - loved it...

the longing - idle game that felt quite promising in the beginning. you play as a lonely shade that has to wait 400 days for his king to wake up. it can get kinda weird and idk how i feel about this anymore.

rain dogs - extremely bleak life circumstances, intense toxic friendship. 'fast food isn't good for you. but i fucking love it'

deadwood - very intriguing way of plotting a story of a settlement but some things abt were fucking stupid and i'm still frustrated when i think abt it. haven't finished the final season and i don't really feel like it.

vanished birds <- read this or else

dungeon meshi - most beautiful art with dynamically drawn creatures and beasts that then get shown being cooked into delicious (and nutricious!) meals in great detail. setting is a spoof of a stereotypical party adventure world but it tries to make sense of its rules and creates in turn something quite unique. great characters too.

wuthering heights - extremely good narrative device. never knew that we learn this story through a tale being told by a servant to some cringey guy. surprisingly well depicted psychology of the characters. reading abt child abuse upset me so bad. society will fuck you up. some ways to better your lot are closed to you based on your gender and race. fucking up people over generations. also moors. they're important.

ghost in the shell

barry - the fact that the show never lets him forget. the satire on show biz, loving the veterans. it's like a more clownish version of breaking bad in a way (both being concerned with morality). characters are caritaturish but everything they do is taken extremely seriously. also it's quite inventive with filmography. solid. loved it.

sangfielle - weird fiction arc of FaTT podcast.. extremely good setting

andor - they didn't lie when they said star wars can be good. abt opression and imperialism.. and droids done well.

repo man - plotted in a very fun way... unforgettable ending.

hellraiser - it was so promising. shouldn't have turned into tense rubic cube solving under most dire circumstances ever imo.

bg3 - the themes have made me insane. it managed to be cohesive. it's the. carousel of violence. cycle of abuse. relationship with power. trusting the other not to use violence against (even though they could). male manipulators. the dark urge. it's not without its faults and it should have been tighter (durge should be the main protag and no tav, chop down act 1, erase halsin)

the terror - such a mixed bag. a very good and tense thriller about imperialistic hubris but. they put a beast there. and the villain was??? idk man.

iasip (well technically i've been trying to watch it for years, but this year alone i watched like 4 seasons or maybe more) - i simply love iasip. its style of comedy that is irreverent. the mad schemes. awful dynamics. touching real darkness.

blowback (podcast) - about american imperialism. first season abt iraq war tone-wise feels like if behind the bastards and citations needed had a baby. recommended.

roadwarden - loved it. loved the setting!

anyway... i kinda stopped reading books after i quit my job (no longer commuting somewhere regularly so i stopped using my kindle). had plans to watch more movies but it's always a struggle to sit down and start watching. went to more than 0 galleries but not that many tbh. i sometimes don't know what to say and most of my comments are still pretty general and feel trite.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Watchlist Tag Game!

Another unexpected tag game! This time from @waitmyturtles

Currently watching

A Boss and a Babe: Wasn't sure if I was going to watch this one because I'm not a huge fan of boss and subordinate as a positive romantic plot (looking at you GAP, sorry). But started watching it after seeing some of @respectthepetty's posts about Episode 4.

Bed Friend: If I were being accurate, I would have put this show down like four times in a row because I have rewatched all available episodes about four times, and honestly will probably watch the whole thing again. I love it so much, I do still think that Moonlight Chicken is my favorite show of the 2023 line up so far, but goddamn if I don't get overly attached to traumatized men.

Breaking Bad: Fun Fact! I have watched the first season of this show three times and never made it beyond that! So my friend set out to fix it and now we are trading one season of Breaking Bad for one show of my choice with a comparable number of episodes. Traded season one for Moonlight Chicken, and I'm trading season two and three for Word of Honor.

The Eclipse: Can't put my finger on why but for some reason I am obsessed with this show where the main character is a emotional repressed gay boy who has difficulty accepting himself and feels pressured to perform actions far outside what a teenager should be allowed to do because adults put pressure on him and because he doesn't want people to be disappointed in him...Anyway, with the Our Skyy 2 release date coming up how could I not rewatch this show I have already seen approximately six times?

The Eighth Sense: Have to thank @bengiyo for writing about The Eighth Sense, and everyone else that I follow that started watching this show immediately and started writing beautiful things about how queer it feels. It's my first Korean BL TV show (I did watch Wish You a few years back) and I am thoroughly enjoying my time so far!!

Unintentional Love Story: Don't have a lot to say about this show yet, I'm only two episodes in, but I think it's good so far!

Word of Honor: Rewatching this with my friend to try to get him to branch out of American television. I figured the costumes alone in this show would keep his interest, but let's be real, I was dying to see his reaction to my favorite little war criminal Wen Kexing who has done absolutely nothing wrong ever in his life, m'kay? This is my completely unbiased, objective opinion (do not look at my username).

Looking forward to watching soon

*ahem*

That is all...

...just kidding!

Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves: Somehow, my tumblr blog accidentally turned into a primarily BL based blog, probably but actually before I was introduced to Word of Honor and then rapidly and descended into the Thai BL world from there (I know WoH is a cdrama, but I found KinnPorsche through a masterpost of queer asian media that was on the woh tag) my hyperfixation and truest love is playing Dungeons and Dragons. I've been in a campaign for 6 years now and recently started another campaign with another group! I wanted to see this movie when it came out but I had COVID and only now am freed from my self isolation! Heard it was good and fun and worth seeing in theaters so I am hoping to go soon!

Our Skyy 2: I just miss my boys, okay? I'm only human.

Only Friends: If the fact that I have watched KinnPorsche 14 times is anything to go by I love messy bitches, and this seems like a show full of messy bitches! Any show that requires a fucking flow chart to know their relationships to one another? I'm in! Also, I listened to the playlist that Jojo posted on Spotify and I was sold. This is definitely my most anticipated of 2023.

Still deciding if I’m gonna watch

Succession: I follow at least one person who has been posting a lot about Succession as the fourth and final season airs, and it sounds really good! I was actually convinced to start the first episode but I kinda fell off of it pretty quick. I think I was tired and I know like with any show the pilot is not the episode to judge something on.

Beef: Only putting this on here because I felt compelled to look it up in the tumblr tags today just to put some feelers out.

and that's it lol, I finsihed Shadow and Bone Season 2 and The Owl House so I don't really have any other shows that I am thinking about watching at the moment. If anyone who reads these block paragraphs has suggestions I'm all ears.

Well, anyone I was going to tag has been tagged by wmt so uhhhh, if you wanna do this game, take this as me officially tagging you!

[variousqueerthings]

@jerottblyth I was writing this in the replies of your “ a glimpse of BJ's post-series white picket fence” and then I got annoyed with the limit, so!

I just rewatched the episode with Hawkeye's ex that he didn't marry (twice), and BJ talks about how he's never even been tempted by another woman, vs later on cheating once (I believe in s5 -- the first BJ episode I really commented on, because it surprised me at the time and I couldn’t place him or it), and then later on him considering leaving Peg for the reporter... 

and then I watched some bits of Inga (s7 -- the last of the relatively what I call “good boy BJ” seasons, and the season that ends on all the main cast family members meeting one another, which idk, I just place at an interesting juncture narratively) in which he talks about himself and Peg as equals/her as a woman who has a mind being a good thing, and how that contrasts with the especially 8-onwards intense reactions he has to her growing into a more and more independent person -- changed beyond the person he knew before he left, changed without him, changed to no longer needing him, changed into a reality he cannot return to and pick up from as if he never even left in the first place (not that I read BJ as conservative for the day technically, but that she’s not the person that said goodbye to him and that manifests in unintentionally sexist ways, where he gets upset by her just living her life, when he needs her to be a symbol of unchanging normality that turns back on the second he’s back in the picture and youknow... that’s fucked up sir)

I think it fits with the weariness of the later seasons: BJ s8-onwards getting more cruel and lashing out more, and him and Hawkeye increasingly acting like an unstable relationship in which Hawkeye often plays the role of the placating wife to an emotionally unpredictable husband. I make it heterosexual on purpose, my headcanons about BJ do veer more towards him having a het read of whatever is going on between him and Hawkeye -- first evidenced that one time he was physically violent, and Hawkeye was both an outlet and a consoling partner and BJ was jealous of not getting to be a partner to Peg/father to Erin, and jealous of Trapper’s relationship to Hawkeye at the same time??? 

Long story short there is a trajectory for sure, from the man who arrives to the guy I’m seeing now (one more episode left before the finale!), and yeah, I definitely like to read it as the fantasy-of-home bit by bit falling to pieces around him, and also the guilt at all of that heroic all-American fantasy of war not being what the reality is, and maybe feeling like an idiot for believing in any of it in the first place (he had that line where he mentioned that he had the chance to not get drafted and he wanted to do the honourable thing, or something along that phrasing, and he has a few episodes in which he does try to play hero of a kind, like in BJ Papa San and he gets very upset when he can’t save the day), and of course the guilt at all of his personal failings, especially -- I decide to headcanon -- the fact that he did cheat. The evil of the situation seeped into him and made him a “lesser” man than what he was 

and all of that manifesting his pettiness (which was clearly something that was already there, although pointed in the direction of acceptable targets like Frank or bad guys of the week, or that old friend he had who was Also A Dick and how that suggests some of BJ’s past, or even Charles, soz Chuck -- because BJ is a Good Guy Honest). 

And now I’m on my rewatch at the same time, and almost finished s4, and looking at it from the pov of that trajectory, it’s very fun looking for early-season-in-hindsight cracks in the “good boy persona”

and with all of that, I do enjoy currently joking about how he’s the end-series villain (Frank is gone, Charles isn’t the main source of conflict, Margaret has long since developed into the love of my life...) but the most interesting thing about it is of course that the story doesn’t end with a villain, it just ends with broken people, from what I see -- BJ is not a bad guy, certainly not in comparison to the likes of someone like Frank, he’s just... not coping at all. And some of the things he does are seriously messed up, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he does more things like that before the end.......

I do like seeing how different characters break, and BJ’s breaking is oh so very messy/shrapnel filled

[monstermonstre]

31 days of horror 2023 (part 2/?)

Every year in October I challenge myself to watch 31 horror movies, 1 for each day, with varying success. If you’re new here, I love horror and so the challenge is more about the commitment, than pushing myself to do something I wouldn’t enjoy or do otherwise (thankfully).

The first half of October went too well, so it was bound to go south eventually. For this second part, there were a couple of terrible watches (although I can't say I didn't see them coming) and there were several days in which I didn't watch anything because it felt like pulling teeth. Fortunately I managed to get back on track with some great shorts (and Chucky).

12. Werewolf by Night (2022): Against my better instincts, I gave this M*rvel short a try. I thought well, the fact that it's from M*rvel Studios doesn't have to matter. It could be a nice short with some cool werewolfing even if they slap one of their magical stones onto it. Well it wasn't. It was terrible, and it got me mad at the people praising it for being "different" and "artistic". 55 minutes of my life wasted.

13. Chucky S3E2: This is when I started worrying that this new season wasn't working for me, that they had finally made a Chucky story I didn't like (I mean, like a lot of people, I didn't really enjoy Child's Play 3; but at the same time it was OK, I've seen worse).

14. Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985): I did watch this one on Friday the 13th so ignore the number next to it. Continuing the franchise, I was surprised to find this one as enjoyable as I did. The kills get pretty repetitive and there aren't as many characters you root for as in 4 but the cast was acting their hearts out and that alone really carried me through the film. Also Reggie was delightful and I was so happy to see Miguel A. Núñez Jr.

15. The Fall of the House of Usher E1&2: I didn't go into this thinking I was going to like it but I did think it was going to be a "fun to hate" experience. I was wrong. Nothing about it was fun. I could barely get through the first episode. I pushed myself to try the second episode, thinking maybe...I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe Flanag*n's worst so far, and that's saying something. Anyone saying it is good is insane and has never seen a horror movie before.

16. Ganja & Hess (1973): Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, ... One of the most gorgeous films I've ever seen and packed with so much to say. Must watch for fans of cinema and vampires.

17. Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988): Another "didn't expect to enjoy this as much as I did" entry. Incredible commitment to the bit, delightful special effects, some of the worst case of "how do you do, fellow kids" actors in their 40s playing teenagers you'll ever see, and some genuinely funny jokes.

18. Creep (2014): We won't mention that I watched this twice this month.

19. Chucky S3E3: Reminded me why I've loved the show so far. Packed with what I love the most about the franchise and featuring one of its best kills. Maybe the most batshit lines of dialogue on American TV right now.

20. In Search of Darkness (2019): Don't get me wrong, I did watch those 4 and a half hours of talking heads like it was nothing but I was left a little frustrated. It felt like it stayed too at the surface despite its runtime and most of it were arguments we've heard before a thousand times. However when I realised there were 2 more of these documentaries I got excited. Hopefully the other entries will go deeper (but even if they don't, I'll probably still have a good time).

I love horror and watch horror movies year-long. However after two weeks straight of horror every day, I got a bit tired. I took a break for several days and when I felt ready to get back into it, I had 4 days to make up for. So I turned to short movies. And, frankly, I need to stop watching shorter films only when I need to make up for time lost in a challenge because I am missing out on gems like

21. The Tell-Tale Heart (1953): Gorgeous animated short adapting the famous Poe story, with James Mason narrating. I'm gonna link it here because if you have 10 minutes to spare you should watch it. This and the following entry.

22. The Sandman (1991): Incredible stop-motion animated short by Paul Berry, whose style you might recognise from Nightmare Before Christmas. Like the previous entry, if you like horror, just give it a watch.

23. Wild Love (2018): This one was just silly and great fun. Reminded me of Treevenge (2008) in its plot and humour. It's on Youtube too but behind an age-restriction, so if you're not logged in (or don't have a neat little extension that bypasses those) you might not see it there.

24. Pontypool (2008): Pretty original concept for a zombie movie and some solid performances but I could not get into it. At all.

And that's it for part 2! I couldn't complete this challenge last year but it looks like it's going well so far. One last week to go!

[weaselandfriends]

hey! Just watched Players, and was interested in hearing more of your thoughts on it--in what respects you found it hewed true to your own research/experience. I've never engaged with eSports, but Players' depiction of "online masculinity" more broadly was very compelling to me, and reminded me of Jay from CQ, albeit with a more balanced/positive slant. I think that sincerity/positivity hurt the show by preventing it from exploring racism/sexism in gaming culture; you catch glimmers of it, particularly in the internet's reaction to Nightfall's replacement of Guru, but the show goes out of its way to avoid couching it in those terms, presumably to show eSports in a more sympathetic light. Race and gender are common themes in your stories; do you think you would have placed more of a focus on them? Also, have you seen American Vandal? That show's first season was memorable to me for its dissonant ending, which placed all that preceded in a new light; Players has a more understated version of the same, in which Organizm's inhuman, unhinged voicemail is shown to have perfectly predicted Creamcheese's feelings, thus humanizing it in retrospect--only for Organizm to reject this, sacrificing everything in pursuit of impossuble perfection. Many of the show's characters are embodiments of some skill/archetype, and it asks what exactly separates these paragons from ordinary people--which I felt closely matched your own style of characterisation. Thanks for your time!

I'll preface this by saying that I haven't actually seen Players. I just know about it, since it was heavily advertised on the LCS stream when it came out. I'll mention a fun fact though: Nightfall's actor is actually an ex-LCS pro named Youngbin, a Korean-American who once played for Team Liquid. As I understand it, the show also has cameos from many other real pros and esports personalities.

I can speak about some of the topics you brought up, though. First up, racism in the esports scene. This was one of the major topics I wanted to cover in my planned esports story. In particular, I wanted to use the story as a vehicle to challenge the idea of American exceptionalism. In League of Legends, the North American region is a distant fourth best, behind Korea, China, and Europe. In the early days of the scene it was possible to chalk this discrepancy up to infrastructure, especially when it came to Korea; having already developed a sophisticated esports scene due to StarCraft, Korea had an organizational and coaching edge over the rest of the world from about 2012, when the game first took off in Korea, to 2017, when big money investors in the other three regions were injecting huge cashflows into teams. This was an era of Korean dominance, where Korean teams won almost every time. To catch up, the other three regions would import Korean players to their regions as much as possible (since 2015 there have been rules in place to limit imports to 2 per 5-man team), and the only region to ever really catch up to Korea is China, which combined high-money importing of top Korean pros with the gargantuan Chinese server population (China loves League of Legends, it's like the national sport) to finally start winning some tournaments.

North America has consistently lagged behind even China and Europe, an issue mainly related to low server population and poor American internet infrastructure, which forces most prospective NA players to learn and practice the game on much higher ping than pros in any of the other major regions. On top of NA being bad, NA is consistently buoyed by high-profile import players, as opposed to "native" North American players. Actual American and Canadian players often take up filler role player positions around imported Korean and European stars, which has led to a general fact of life that Americans are simply not that good at the game compared to the competition. This is in spite of the fact that League of Legends is an American game made by an American company. It's a joke in traditional sports that Americans are only the best at sports they made, but in League, Americans aren't even that. I wanted to center my story around an American role player in a more supportive position like top, who would have to grapple with the fact that despite being in the top 1% of the top 1% of the top 1% of players, he was simply not good enough to matter beyond that.

Racism in the esports scene is an odd issue, because it's less "racism" and more "regionalism"--or xenophobia. This is due to the league format of professional League of Legends, in which regional leagues (Korea, China, Europe, and NA) feed into a major international Worlds cup. In a sports scene where teams are not tied to specific cities the way they are in traditional sports, this regionalism is often what drives fans to support certain teams, what causes people to root for a team that feels like "theirs." This makes the fan ecosystem closer to the way people root for teams or players at the Olympics or the World Cup, instead of what it's like in the NFL, NBA, etc. Where things get complicated in terms of League is that unlike the Olympics or World Cup, teams from a region are allowed to field players from other regions to represent them. In North America, as I mentioned, this issue is exacerbated because not only are North American teams bad, they're bad often without even being quote-unquote "North American." I mentioned before that there is an import rule that ostensibly ensures every team is 3/5ths comprised of native players. However, due to a variety of loopholes and also the United States' significantly more lenient legal residency and immigration restrictions compared to China, there are many players who were imported to NA solely to play League of Legends who are now technically counted as non-imports. At the most recent Worlds, NA sent three teams, and of the 15 players on those teams, only 3 were "native North Americans," the rest either being imports or former imports who got green cards, making them legally residents. One team was comprised entirely of imports or former imports. Meanwhile, other regions are represented by teams that have a majority of "native" players. So the fan ecosystem is designed around supporting "your region," but NA is in the unique position where "your region" is majority comprised of players from "another region." Hence the point of soreness.

The racism question gets further complicated by the racial makeup of "native" North American players, which heavily slants toward Asian-Americans/Asian-Canadians. Of the 3 "native" players at Worlds last year, 2 were Asian-American/-Canadian (the third was Quebecois). Doublelift, the most famous and beloved North American pro, on whom I believe Players' Creamcheese was modeled, is a Chinese-American whose real name is Yiliang Peng. The breakout rookie star of last year, Jojopyun, is a Korean-Canadian who "native NA" fans held up as the shining hope of native NA talent. Youngbin himself, who plays Nightfall, is a Korean-American "native" pro. This begs another interesting question: Is it racism to support Asian-Americans over Asian Non-Americans? I think this uniquely positioned sports ecosystem creates a complex and interlocking system of identities that is prime for exploration in a narrative format. With the prevalence of European importing, it becomes even stranger. Most of the white players in the North American league aren't Americans or Canadians, but European imports, who are often subjected to the same prejudice and bias among fans as Korean imports. THEN it gets even more interesting when you factor in country of birth, which isn't even tied to citizenship or residency. One of the most famous "native" North American players is Spica, who was born in China and moved to Philadelphia when he was 10 or so. He still has Chinese citizenship and is only considered a "resident" of the United States, exactly like many of those green card-holding "imports," and yet Spica is universally considered "native" talent by fans. Last year, one team (CLG) made a splash by fielding almost entirely "native" talent, and was held up by fans as the "native talent" team--even though one of their players, Dhokla, was born in India. So where is the line? What distinguishes "native" from "foreign"? This is such a complex notion of identity that I feel like I could talk about it for hours.

As for sexism, yeah it's just really sexist.

I guess it's a bit more nuanced than that. League of Legends is like chess in which there is ostensibly no physical reason why women wouldn't be able to compete at the top level, and yet there simply are very few women who do. I follow the League scene from the amateur system to the pro leagues, and it's not like there is a large number of talented female players who are simply being withheld chances to compete due to organizational/player/fan sexism. There have even been instances of major organizations creating all-female development teams, but these teams are generally comprised of players who simply aren't at a level high enough to compete in the major leagues. Every so often you get a female player or two in the amateur or development leagues, but they don't generally stand out enough to be realistically promoted to a major league team.

In all four major regions, there has only ever been one female player who competed at the top level, that being Remilia, a trans girl, whose story is brutally tragic. She was manipulated and abused by the owner of her team, Chris Badawi, who provided for her a botched gender-reassignment surgery that left her with permanent pain for the rest of her life, until she died by suicide some years later. As you might imagine, any fan discussion on Reddit that even tangentially involved Remilia was a graveyard of posts deleted by moderators. The prejudice there, sadly, is about as rampant and overt as possible.

This post went pretty long, especially since I haven't actually seen the show you asked about and wasn't able to give any more specific thoughts on it. Hopefully, though, this provides a bit more context to the strange and complex regional and racial identity issues in the scene.

[zeldanyx]

I just finished AHS 10 (late to the party, as always) and I must say, I really enjoyed it! Especially after season 8 and 9, it felt very refreshing.

I have split opinions about the fact that it was essentially two shorter seasons in one. On the one side, it doesn’t really make sense why they suddenly did that as it never occured in the show before. They didn’t even split the amount of episodes equally... It just doesn’t feel right. On the other side, the storylines didn’t get so muddled because they got less episodes than in previous seasons. At the same time, they were longer than in American Horror Stories, so they didn’t feel as random either. That was nice.

I enjoyed the themes and the setting of Red Tide very much. It was creative and asthetically pleasing, the storyline about the pills was an interesting concept. I loved how, in my interpretation, it dealt with the very stereotypical belief of how artists don’t become great artists due to working and editing, but that it’s about being a genius and you have to channel that inner genius - via the pills in this case. 

Death Valley was fun, but not ground-breaking. I heard other people say that it’s a shame that it wasn’t tied to Asylum more and I agree on that. 

I think the two parts of the season should have had a connection as well. Then it wouldn’t have felt so random that they were put together.

But yeah, overall I really liked the season. It wasn’t the best and the final episodes didn’t do the best job at wrapping things up (as always), but overall so much better than Apocalypse and 1984. Looking forward to watching season 11 now!

[elliemyrah]

My GF's thoughts on SRMTHFG S1

So my girlfriend has been watching Srmthfg with me whenever we have time and its just a fun time. Especially since I'm not a person who will defend this show with every fiber of my being, anymore. So I can enjoy the bad writing and moments with her.

She was very sweet to even watch this with me and has been going on a trippy roller coaster. At times she'll lose track of the setting or get too lost in the music forget about the plot entirely. Sometimes it's just my fault cause I talk to much and I tend to talk to the fictional characters like I just showed my girlfriend extended family lol. Anyways let's just start.

Uhh actually disclaimer: This is for fun and Im just sharing this cause this was interesting to see what someone being introduced to this show reacts. She's also someone who has read and studied animals almost all her life. She's very critical when animals are involve, like me with television. But uhh yeah the monkey sounds really get to her. Like she is put off guard everytime.

-First off the bat Antuari, Oh boy! lol The moment he came on screen she just had questions. "Why does the black monkey have yellow eyes? Why is he voiced by a black voice actor?" (My gf is African American btw)

I laughed at this and took note to this. I already warned her lot about this show before watching so this was just added info that I could use. But I believe Antuari is her least favorite in the team. Not because of what I stated before but that she doesn't care for his personality.

-Otto though is her favorite, who's surprised though hehe. She loves his nature and his energy. Basically he's a lot like me so she loves him lol. But yeah we just laugh at this sweet green bean and want to pat his head

-Nova Though she doesn't say much about her whenever I do bring her up she just says she's too cool for this team. So i think I can say she likes her

btw I wanna address I didnt ask her questions for this review. I wanted to just enjoy this show with her without her feeling like she had an interview afterwards. So this is off memory and yes she gave me permission to write this.

My gf likes Gibson but she's never been a fan of shows having the brainiac characters say very stereotypical smart guy language. She also agrees that he is very gay and his weapon is super useful.

Sprx-77 now is an interesting one. She started out disliking him cause of his "asshole" personality. However starting after ep 4 she changed her mood immediately. Which was cool to see.

We also are already 3 eps into S2 and her favorite episode of the whole show so far has been 'World of Giants' which I knew she would like. That episode was funny ok, cringe isn't a word I use to critic work yal just don't like to have fun.

Anyways when we discussed his character, she simply just liked how he treats Chiro like a kid. He lets Chiro skip patrol to watch shows, asks if he needs help, and is normally on his side.

Honestly i feel like when Chiro joined the team Sprx was against it cause he was in fact a child but didn't have much of a say in the matter or Chiro was too stubborn to take no. So Sprx just tries to relate and understand him the most. Sprx is Chiro's dad not Antauri, I will die on this hill!!

Chiro is constantly being made fun of by my girl. She just can't stop mentioning about his head being so wide it's funny! lmao

Jinmay - She knew she was a robot right away but jumped when Soko started to speak lol. She doesnt care for Chiro/Jinmay's relationship which I fight her about lol.

Mandarin - Another monkey she felt was racist right away but she thinks he's threating. She was really interested in his villain role and wasn't disappointed til the season finale. We also both agree that him and Antuari are exes lol.

So the finale uhhh we were watching it and most through all of the 2 episodes she just said, " Yep this was just an old transformers movie but like mediocre." I facepalmed so hard. Dammit Ciro!

So yeah she likes the show. It's nothing she'll talk about for hours but I never excepted her to be into it in the first place. In fact I never intended to show this show anytime soon but she wanted to watch it with me. And I simply couldn't be happier. So I'll watch whatever anime she puts in front of me despite disliking 90% of animes.

That was it, thanks for reading.

[novemberhush]

Thanks for the tag, @smowkie 😘

Three ships: Just off the top of my head - Chenford, Marvey and Barisi

First ever ship: It’s hard to remember because I’ve been shipping characters since before I even knew what shipping was! The first ones that spring to mind are Jim Dempsey/Harriet ‘Harry’ Makepeace from the ‘80s cop show, Dempsey & Makepeace. He’s a straight shootin’, down to Earth American cop who’s been shipped off to London after making himself unpopular when he exposed corruption in the NYPD and she’s the classy, no-nonsense British detective (with a title, no less! She’s a real Lady, lol) he’s partnered with. Sparks inevitably fly. (Fun fact! The actors got together in real life during the second season, split up, got back together again, got married, had a son together and are still married to this day! So I guess the chemistry was real!)

Besides them, I remember shipping Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe from the ‘80s tv adaptations of the Anne of Green Gables books, and Maddie Hayes and David Addison from Moonlighting.

Last song: Sit Here and Love Me by Caroline Spence

Last movie: How The Grinch Stole Christmas (Believe it or not, I’d never seen it before.)

Currently reading: Trying to finish The Girl Who Left by Jenny Blackhurst

Currently watching: I just binged all 3 seasons of Vienna Blood (which is only 9 episodes in total so it didn’t take me long) and finally finished season 1 of Superman and Lois (the episodes that featured the annoying emo kid heavily were hard going!). I’m watching season 4 of Coroner (the Canadian show, not the English one with a similar title) and the last season of Bull (which I’m not even sure why I’ve stuck with this long, but there’s only a couple of episodes left now so I might as well finish it). Season 2 of the CSI:Vegas reboot has just started here so I’m watching it and Murdoch Mysteries is back here at the end of the month so I’ll be watching that. The Rookie will be back here sometime in the spring too and I’m looking forward to that, given all the Chenford developments! Oh, and I’ve been dipping in and out of Without A Trace and Person of Interest reruns that have recently started here.

Currently craving: Um, nothing really. My uncle just made us sausage and fried egg sandwiches and I’m pretty full. Maybe a nice, cold Coke or a vanilla milkshake to wash it all down?

I tag @oneawkwardcookie @katries @peaceofficerdiaz @foreverthemomfriend @sal-si-puedes @sassenach-on-the-rocks @elysiumwaits @mandysimo13 @all-or-nothing-baby @whattarush and anyone else who wants to play. No pressure on anyone who doesn’t!❤️

[cordycepsfem]

Pageboy Readthrough, Part Fifteen

What time is it? Self-hatred time!

I mean, it's time for more Pageboy.

I have to get through this book for a number of reasons, the least of which being that at some point in the near future I will be hate-watching the final season of the Umbrella Academy and sharing my thoughts with all of you.

So let's ride.

If you've missed any parts of this readthrough, they're all here.

Previously

we learn about the tallest granite spire in North America; take a drink for a Canadian Fact

just kidding, we learn about a girl EP was into and kissed

EP wants to use that girl's "queer" identity to validate her own

I get mad at EP using "queer" to describe literally anyone, as I do once per chapter or so; take a drink

there is a very very long digression about a skirt

EP mentions her "queer walk" yet again so I have a digression about that

I got maudlin and quit

Now

Chapter Twenty-Three

so we start off with this

which is a lot off the bat

was she made fun of for being gay and she wasn't gay? because the whole dating-women and marrying-a-woman thing seems to suggest she was gay

and I hate to drop truths when we're 23 chapters into this pit, but EP, you were a girl, you are a woman, and that's not changing because of what you do or say or wear or have surgically augmented

asking your friend "Do you think I'm trans?" is such a loaded question, holy fuck

what was the friend supposed to do, if confronted with a sad and confused EP - or even just able to see patterns in society that all call for instant confirmation -, but to offer support?

also "I could see that" has to me the ring of "I don't want to upset you" rather than anything identity-validating

wow, this all sounds like it's a very difficult mental state that shouldn't be treated with off-sex hormones and surgery!

but what do I know? it's not as though I also have this issue and chose to treat it through therapy rather than transition

EP talks with her friend Star, a trans woman

Star directly asks EP "Do you think you're trans?"

which sounds like a leading question to me

note: I am not a lawyer, but I have watched a lot of procedurals

a whole paragraph of red flags here:

Let's go one-by-one:

I'm too ashamed to be a lesbian: you were, to the point where you hid and gave women the run-around rather than being open with them

that I will always be a woman: you will, even if you don't identify that way

and in a paragraph of writing by Jen Richards, My being trans almost never comes up... this might be true for Jen but is the exact opposite of how EP has chosen to live her life

side note about Jen: her being trans may almost never come up, and she's a great actress, but I clocked her immediately upon seeing her on a show I used to watch, so... it might come up more than she thinks it does

this is about EP's ex-wife

she used her wife to set herself free from all of her negative feelings and gender dysphoria

basically using her wife as a Band-Aid

and that's all we get about Emma (at least thus far)

gross

Chapter Twenty-Four

this one's called "Your Heavenly Daddy" which... is a thing

EP watches a documentary called "God Loves Uganda"

the documentary about American evangelicals spreading both the gospel and anti-LGBT propaganda to Uganda, which has led to severe laws against and punishments for LGBT behaviors and people

EP does that thing where she tries to compare two situations that are nothing alike - just because she is afraid to come out doesn't mean that her coming out will change anything in Uganda; similarly, her feelings about coming out are valid and she shouldn't push them down due to what's happening in Uganda

EP mentions "trying not to shit blood" again as a reference for being terrified and again I am worried about her digestive system and her mind

EP goes to a bar and meets up with a woman who will be her first one-night stand

first, thanks for the architecture notes there, EP

second, I had to read "I always forget about cocaine" with my own two eyes and now you have to too

EP also describes "teeth clanging" which... as a word nerd, is not how "clanging" works

teeth are not metal

clanging means metal

it's in the definition

teeth "clack" or "crack" or, even as a last resort, "smash"

but they don't clang

thank you for indulging me

EP lets this woman choke her, and once again please do not ever let a partner do that to you

EP's next time out with a woman goes better

she describes the woman as looking like Jean Seberg

I had to go look up who that is

she was an American actress, very beautiful, who died from suicide and had the FBI using Cointelpro on her

there's a recent movie about her; Kristen Stewart plays the title role

a weird choice for comparison to, but whatever, EP, go on

EP gets excited about being on a date while out as a lesbian and yells at some frat bros (something tells me she has a continued pattern of impulse control issues, and by "something" I mean "this whole book")

her date, an actual black belt, teaches her some self-defense points

the thing goes well, they go to brunch and a bookstore and it rains and it's lovely

then EP dumps us directly into her love for Kate Mara

they flirt at a party

at the same party EP's ex-partner's new partner comes over and talks to her

okay, EP, you're asking "Who the fuck asks that?" but if you scroll up you'll see that you yourself have doubts about if you've ever experienced true love, so clearly you've asked that at one point

EP tells us she immediately went to the bathroom and started shitting

and like, you do you, EP, but no one's going to believe you're more a dude because you talk about shitting all the time

it just makes me think less of your intelligence and less of the intelligence of the people who let this book get published

sounds as good as any reason, EP; usually it's self-punishment for me

EP gets a weird note from a priest on an airplane; the priest signs it "Your Heavenly Daddy"

she continues chasing Kate Mara

she goes on dates with Kate Mara

she experiences an earthquake and, I shit you not, takes time out of the chapter to tell us this:

I was waiting for a Canadian Fact but I'll drink for a Non-Essential Unrelated Fact

(I am both glad and sad that I don't drink, a Pageboy drinking game would knock me the fuck out)

someone tells EP that she reminds them of "her friends who only date married men" while she dates Kate Mara

eventually it gets too tumultuous and they end things

EP says Kate Mara is a treasured friend now

we crawl to the end of the chapter and it actually ends with a sweet passage from EP that I agree with:

This is extremely beautiful to read on a week when I'm missing someone I really loved. I had one of those so-real dreams where it was like she was with me, and when I woke up it hurt to know she's still dead. But like EP, I'd rather remember, I'd rather she visit me in my dreams, I'd rather hurt because it means I was loved and I loved her.

EP, you are a hot fucking mess, but sometimes you get to the truth of things.

[pin4tacademia]

update: finished my last pure maths unit ever!! woo!!

The exam was alright. I found it a bit difficult towards the end, especially the vector calculus part, but overall I think I did ok. The linear algebra part was surprisingly chill. Overall, was fairly hard but I'm sure I'll be fine :)).

Now, the semester is actually going to start. Scaryy. It will be my first real sem of electrical, so I am sure it will be tough. Last semester was pretty stressful, so for just my sake I am setting some goals:

actually start attending lectures: I never attended lectures in first year and I truly think it has fucked me over bad. I would have so many lectures to watch by the end of the week and I hated it and barely absorbed any of them. I think attending lectures will actually make me watch them, absorb what they're saying, and create a sense of community (I was very lonely in first year lol, which is I think largely because I barely went to campus).

try to actually do the work: I had a bad cheating/over-reliance of others in first year, which I think made me not learn a lot of the content. I think a large part of why I did that was because I would get quite lazy and tired with the doing more mediocre things (eg. weekly quizzes) after doing assignments, so I think I need to actually put in effort in tuts and labs and quizzes.

and finally, just relax: I was soooo overstressed last semester in particular. it. was. CRAZY. That needs to never happen again, so atp, I think I am just going to uphold the Ps get degrees mindset for now and just prioritise my mental health before anything. I literally wouldn't go out for weeks, and it made me feel so couped up and insane. I would get so stressed out after submitting anything. I would spent 5x as much time on projects than anyone else. I feel like if I ever find myself getting like that, I should just stop the project or assignment and let it go. This semester, I am going to try and let myself make friends, have fun, and go out. Last semester I would deny all these opportunities for the excuse of "studying", but I don't think it did me any good. So, yeah, I am just gonna try and chill out a bit more.

now, in terms of more personal updates:

I finally finished outlander!! Well, at least until June/July lmao. What a ride. First season was probably my personal favourite, which is unfortunate, but hey, what can you do. It was actually pretty interesting to learn about Scottish and American history, I feel like my knowledge of it was pretty poor beforehand.

Began watching neon genesis evangelion!! It's kinda weird, and idk if I like it, but I will finish it because I feel like it's so iconic.

I am finishing up my med phys research internship!! Unfortunately, it is highly unlikely that I will actually complete the research task that I was given, but I am not super surprised given the fact that I was balancing work with a summer course and a part time job. I was also the youngest there (first year undergrad rip), so I will try not to be too harsh on myself. My supervisor was really encouraging and chill about it :')). I am glad it's finishing up though bc tbh it was a lot. I am really proud of myself for at least trying it and getting an internship in first year, because that's usually pretty difficult. Especially in something that I actually care about and is relevant to my career/future yk?

Joined a bunch of things for the sem. I am not sure if I will continue with any of them considering how busy I was last sem, but we will see. I joined a robotics competition with a group of friends so that will be fun. I also joined this online leadership project, which I think might be cool and not too heavy on me. I am also considering to join an engineering society and a start-up society thing, as I think I could make some friends and put some things on my resume. I am a bit scared to, so I am putting it off for now, but we will see.

and finally, the courses I will be doing starting next week are: introductary physics (I think we will touch upon mechanics, thermodynamics, and waves), data structures and algorithms, electrical eng introduction (basically this is circuit analysis, so a lot of maths lmao), and digital logic. wish me luck!!

Sorry for these long updates btw!!! Atp I'm just using this blog as a journal :')) don't mind me