#fun fact: in between taking these selfies i actually did the laundry

[callmepippin]

hello my hair has grown quite a bit since you last saw me :)

[goodwriterwithbadhabits]

Want Me

This is, a lot more than anything I've ever written, but I hope you like it.

Master List

~~

When Chan had told Stays he had a gift for them today, you had anticipated something like the valentines date. Maybe even Hyunjin’s surprise appearance. What you definitely weren’t expecting was your boyfriend to basically strip in front of literally the whole world.

“Oh. My god.” Your reaction was subconscious, and totally not something you wanted your roommate, Sungmi, to hear. Your eyes were the size of saucers as you stared at your phone.

“What’s up?” Her interest was piqued the second you made a sound, and being you, you did the one thing you could think of.

You threw your phone as far from yourself as possible.

The two of you watch it sail across the living room and land safely in the dirty clothes hamper neither of you had moved from the hallway to the washer.

“Uh, you good?”

“Wow, look at that laundry!” You exclaim, “Someone should go do it.” You can’t even jump up from the couch when her hand is wrapping around your ankle, pulling you onto the floor.

“Was it Chan’s performance?” Your face immediately goes crimson. “No,” You lie, poorly. “What performance? I didn’t even know he was performing. I should go do the laundry.” You’re talking like you’re the flash, and while she’s attempting to figure out what you said, you attempt to wrench your leg from her grip. Unfortunately her brain power is faster that you can get your arms under you, though you do manage to yank her off the couch with you.

“Get back here!” She huffs, yanking you closer to her and somehow managing to sit on your pelvis. “You saw the Wolfgang performance didn’t you?” She demands, but your answer is more struggling to knock her over. “I’m not going anywhere, Y/n.” She drops forward, pinning your arms by your head, and if she were literally anyone else, you would probably think this was super hot.

“Curse your shockingly strong legs.”

“Nine years of waterpolo.” She explains.

“Really? Damn, I should start playing.”

“You’re stalling.”

“No I’m not.” You lie, again. She rolls her eyes, dropping her head a little more to knock her forehead against yours. “Ow.”

“Be honest with me.”

“I am.”

“No you’re not.” She bonks your head again, “Stop lying.”

“Will you get off me?”

“When we’re done talking.”

“Then yes, I saw Chan’s Wolfgang performance.” She nods, letting go of your hands to sit up properly and crush your pelvis a little more.

“I thought it was pretty hot.” She confesses and you feel something bubble in your chest. You can’t help the slight twitch in your brows and of course she notices. “Ah! Jealousy!”

“I’m not jealous.” She taps your forehead, aggressively enough to hurt a little. “Ow.”

“You can’t lie to a Psychology major.”

“I’m not-” She raises her finger again and you relent. “Alright, fine. Maybe I’m not a huge fan of someone telling me they think my boyfriend is hot to my face.”

“Did you think it was hot?” Your face grows warm and you have to bite back an embarrassed smile.

“I’m not answering that.”

“You don’t have to. You’d be stupid to think otherwise.”

“Especially when he was in the white shirt.” You admit, and she nods.

“You should see if he’ll wear something like that next time you two decide to get all hot and heavy.” Your face flushes again, not really wanting to discuss your sexlife with someone you’ve only actually known for about seven months.

“Um yeah, totally.”

“Oh my god. You guys don’t do stuff!”

“We do stuff!” You defend, immediately regretting it.

“Oh really? Ever used handcuffs?” On him, or me?

“I don’t have to answer that.”

“So that's a no. How about, have you ever sent him a nude?” Oh, if only you knew.

“Get off me.”

“Another no.” She grins, “I’m shocked, he seems like such a feisty boy, you’d think he’d do stuff.” “Seriously, get off.” There’s no humor in your voice now. It wasn’t her place to tell you about your own boyfriend, and you were getting sick of her forcing her way into your love life.

“Oh come on Y/n.” She doesn’t get another word out before you grab her leg and wrench her sideways. Instead of just tossing her onto the floor, you find yourself slamming your hand into the floor by her head, now leaning over her.

“Stay out of my love life, do you hear me?” You practically growl, “I don’t need your help to please my boyfriend.” Her eyes go wide at your words, and you instantly become aware of your positions when a smirk paints itself on her face.

“My, my Y/n. I didn’t peg you as someone who’d be on top.”

“Clearly.” You reply. “Now are you quite done?”

“Have you ever topped him? He seems like the kind of guy who wouldn’t like that.”

“Once again, I don’t have to answer that.”

“You should try it. Something tells me you’ll like it.”

“Shut up.”

~~

“I hate you.” It had been hours since your rather sexually charged conversation with her, and here you were standing at her doorway seeking advice. You hadn’t stopped thinking about what she had said, but in all honesty, Chan was your first, so you had no clue what you were doing most of the time.

“Oh? Is that why you’re looking all lost and confused at my door?” Her voice is sickeningly sweet as she looks at you in the mirror. “What up?”

“I need advice.”

“Wear black, it looks good on everyone.” Her gaze shifts back to her reflection, where she’s curling her hair for a date.

“About Chan.” Her attention turns back to you in an instant and you’re tempted to run back to your room.

“In what sense?”

“What you said earlier.” A wicked grin spreads on her face. “Have a seat darling.” You trudge over to her bed, sitting on the trunk at the end to watch her. “First off, tell me this, who initiates sex usually?”

“He does.” You admit quietly. “Babe, if you want my help, you gotta be able to talk about sex without turning into a tomato. I mean, how are you sexually active and still blushing like a virgin. Next you're going to tell me you only do it missionary with the lights off.”

“Well…” Her mouth drops open in horror.

“Oh my god.” She gasps. “No wonder you’re all annoyed these days. You’re not satisfied.”

“Hey, he gets me off,” You defend, “And he’s very good at it.” You practically swoon just thinking about it. She raises her hands in surrender, but smiles at your answer.

“Have you ever asked him for oral?”

“How the hell do I bring that up in casual conversation? Just “Hey babe, you did wonderful today, do you want to eat me out’.”

“Well if it works.”

“No.”

“Okay, have you ever worn lingerie for him?”

“No, but I did buy something to wear a few months ago.” She nods, approving.

“How come you’ve never worn it?”

“Between Kingdom and the fact that he lives with seven other men, there hasn’t exactly been a time and place.”

“That’s fair. When do you guys usually do it? What’s it like? Just broad details.”

“He tells me he wants to spend the night. I usually get a hotel room, since my parents are still sending me money for rent, and we arrive at separate times. Its usually really sweet and slow.”

“And after?” She prompts.

“We shower, and cuddle. He usually leaves first cause he has practice or something.”

“Ever done it in the shower?” You shake your head, shoulders slumping as you realize how lame everything sounds.

“I really like him, but I think, especially since you said he seems like a kinky type, what if he’s not as into me?”

“I don’t think that’s the case.” She turns her chair towards you, setting a hand on your knee. “I think you’re both too nervous to broach the subject. I know this is your first real relationship, and it might be his too.”

“So, what should I do?”

“Start simple.” She turns back to her mirror, “You should book a room, and jazz it up a little. Rose petals, candles, maybe that set you bought. That way its obvious you want him.”

“That's not a bad idea.”

“Even better! I will go halfsies on one of the fancy hotels with you. I know one that has these huge bathtubs so you can take one together, and the shower has a stone floor, so its not slippery. Oh! We can get you a pretty silk robe, so you can do the dramatic reveal.”

“This sounds like a lot. How about for now, I just do the candles and the set?” She laughs, clearly embarrassed by the way she fiddles with her necklace.

“Sounds like a plan. You can do the big one for your anniversary.” You nod, agreeing with her.

“I can do it tonight, he’ll probably want some stress relief after that performance.” You offer her a sly smile, jumping up to leave the room.

“Where are you going?” She calls after you.

“I gotta go buy some candles.”

~~

Hey lover, come meet me. *Y/n shared her location*

You glanced over at the message again as you adjusted the black lace garterbelt. Sungmi had been right, black did look amazing on everyone. He had read the message, and if you were lucky, he was too busy driving over to text you back. You slid the black skirt up your legs, loving the way it stopped just under the edge of the thigh highs. The last piece was a simple t shirt, it was a little ripped and hung off one shoulder, just giving a slight peekaboo of the bra you had spent way too much money on. If Chan didn’t combust from seeing you in this, you were going to have a fun night.

Carefully you moved your things out of the main room, tucking them in the closet for safe keeping, and began lighting the candles. The sweet aroma of vanilla and lavender wafted through the room as you shut the lights off. You settled on the edge of the bed, taking a few risque selfies to show Sungmi and maybe send Chan later.

And then you waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

Babe?

Three hours, that's how long you’d been waiting before you finally texted him again, having run out of excuses for the man.

“Sorry babe, I was working. Do you still want me to come to you?”

Not really, after this long, the wonder had worn off, and you just felt stupid and hurt. Of course he wasn’t going to come if you asked.

No. Its fine.

Actually, I want to talk to you. Are you still at the studio?

You set your phone down, turn the lights back on and begin blowing out candles. You don’t bother changing, just grab your sneakers and your bag before heading out, tucking your key and phone in your bra as you leave the building.

With some take out in hand you make your way to the JYP building, not at all surprised to see several lights still on.

“Woah, hel-lo Y/n.” You instantly smile at Jae’s greeting, which is followed by Brian’s whistle. “You look like a full course meal, girl.”

“Hey boys, what had you here so late, its past midnight?”

“Oh we were just-” Jae glances over at Brian who clears his throat.

“Just working. What about you?”

“Chan’s still working, so I brought some food.” You shrug, heading towards the elevators, “Have a good night.

“You too.” You have to bite your lip so you don’t laugh at Brian smacking Jae’s shoulder, earning a whine from the taller boy.

The lights from the studios are all off when you arrive, but you can see the glow of the computer shining from Chan’s. You knock as you open the door, making him jump and yank his headphones off when the light from the hall hits him. His face lights up in a smile when he sees you. Of course, he’s wearing super tight jeans and a black button up, neither of which were not helping you relax.

“Oh hey baby, I didn’t know you were coming.” He stands to greet you, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek.

“I texted you.” You tell him, which has him looking guilty.

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear it when I’m working.” You smile reassuringly at him.

“That's okay, I know, that’s why I just came over.” You hold up the bag of take out, “I also brought food since you forget to eat when you start working.”

“You are the light of my life.” He sighs, kissing you properly this time as he takes the bag. Your heart flutters from his words, some of the butterflies in your stomach coming back from the dead. You sit across from him, stealing his work chair as he spreads the food out on the table and digs in. It takes him a few minutes to notice that you’re just staring, and he finally stops eating to say something, “You okay? How come you aren’t eating?”

“I already ate.” You lie, but he sees right through it, setting his chopsticks down to look at you properly. You watch his eyes rake across your body, finally seeing the lace stockings and the matching bra.

“That’s not it. You’re disappointed.” He realizes, “You looked the same way when you saw I.Ns grades.” He explains before you can even open your mouth to answer. “I know its not our anniversary, and your birthday already passed.”

“Its nothing babe. I just had a stupid idea for tonight.” The words come spilling out of your mouth before you can stop them. He looks at your outfit again and a cheeky smile begins to grow on his face.

“Were you-? But you never-” He lets out a deep breath, followed by a small giggle, which doesn’t make you feel better.

“I should head home.” You spring up, heading towards the door. “Enjoy your dinner.” He catches your arm before you get too far, pulling you back to wrap his arms around you.

“What did you have planned, baby girl?” Your heart flutters at the pet name, and the low tone his voice had taken on. “You wouldn’t have gotten all dressed up like this for nothing.” HIs free hand trails down your side, coming to the edge of your skirt, where his fingers find the skin just above the top of your stockings.

“Maybe I just wanted to make sure you want me as much as I want you.” You confess.

“Baby girl.” His voice is soft now, “Of course I want you.” His lips brush the skin of your neck as he speaks, sending shivers across your whole body.

“Then how come we never do anything interesting?”

“Like what?” Your confidence grows as you turn to face him, looping a finger through the choker he wears.

“Maybe I don’t want to do the same thing every time we fuck.” You can see from the way his eyebrows hike up that he’s startled by your words, hell, you were startled by them. “Maybe I want to see you.” Your other hand moves up to his face, trailing your thumb over his lips. “Maybe I don’t always want to be in a bed, in the dark, on my back. Maybe I want to be in charge.”

“I don’t think you could handle that baby girl.” He bites at your thumb as he finishes his sentence.

“Try me, Chris.” You challenge. His hands come up to your cheeks, pulling you in for a searing kiss. For a few seconds, your brain forgets what you had just challenged. He doesn’t help as he pulls away from your lips, his trailing across your cheek and down your neck.

“Sit.” You order, pulling away, trying to keep your breathing steady and not let on how affected you were.

“Excuse me?”

“Sit. Down.” You order again, shoving him lightly towards his computer chair. He backs up slowly, collapsing into it, eyes never leaving you.

“What are you doing?” He asks as you turn away from him.

“Proving a point.” You declare, the click of his lock emphasizing your words.

“Oh?” You turn back to him, finding him relaxed as ever, watching you with his legs spread wide. You saunter towards him, standing between his legs, hands on the arm rests. “You really think you can handle this baby?”

“If I impress you, you’ll save your work and we head over to the hotel.”

“And if you don’t?”

“You save your work and we head over to the hotel anyway.”

“Bet.”

“You might regret that, baby.” You push on the chair, sending it back until it connects with his desk.

“Oh really?” He asks, as you push his knees together slightly so you can straddle his lap. Your fingers trail from his shoulders down to the buttons on his shirt, popping them open one at a time.

“You talk too much.” You tell him, leaning forward to press kisses along his neck. Just as you hit his pulse point, he hisses, hands coming to rest on your thighs. “Ah ah ah.” You chastise, pulling away from his neck. “No touching.” You pull his hands away, dropping them on the arm rests instead. “Hands to yourself.”

“Oh you are in for it when we get to the hotel.” He groans as you nip at his skin.

“That’s what I’m hoping for.”

[sub-hoshi-enthusiast]

It is done!! I just have two more to work on before I finish up the requests :)) (also the gif 🥺🥺 mayhaps I am in love 😔💔)

⚠️Warnings⚠️: sub!hanbin, fem!dom!reader, hard degradation, small dick hanbin, public sex, sexting, window sex, use of toys (buttplug), oral (f recieving)

A Quick Visit

You are currently sitting in a meeting that honestly made you wanna shoot your brains out. You were supposed to be looking into a partnership with another company but you already knew it wasn't gonna happen, based on the fact the moment you stepped into the room he had asked you for a coffee, assuming you were some secretary or something, and then after he found out you were indeed the CEO he continuously flirted with you. You didn't know what this guy's problem was but you were certain you never wanted to see him again. You had your head resting in your hand as he continued to blabber about something, probably himself, but you had resorted to tuning him out.

     Suddenly your phone started ringing, finally making him shut up. You took the object out of your pocket, furrowing your eyebrows as you saw Hanbin's name pop up.

     "Uh- sorry, it's my boyfriend. He usually doesn't call me during work though." You stated quietly as you silenced your phone. The man in front of you looked down at his watch, letting out a quiet chuckle as he realized how late it had gotten.

     "I guess I have kept you for quite a while. We should be heading out, but please contact us when you wanna start working." He told you with a smirk, sending you a wink as he walked out the door. His poor secretary was left to pick up all his things and race after him. 

     "Hey, Damien." You said, turning to said boy. He sat straight up, looking at you with attentive eyes.

     "Yes ma'am?"

     "Please delete his number and contact information from everything in the building." Your secretary chuckled before giving a playful salute and scurrying down the hall.

《●●●》

     You slumped into your office chair, rubbing your temples in hopes it would get that insufferable voice out of your head. You had reminded yourself to call back Hanbin after he had called you during the meeting a few minutes ago, but you were just taking the time to calm down. You looked at the door when you heard a knock, calling out a "Come in" as you assumed it was Damien. Surprise flashed across your face when your boyfriend peeked his head through the door.

     "Baby!" You called with a smile, sitting up straight in your chair. A quick and nervous smile flashed across his face as he stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. You furrowed your eyebrows as he shuffled in his place, eyes glued to the floor with the occasional glance up at you. You tilted your head as you beckoned him closer. "What's wrong sweetheart? Did something happen? Was it what you were calling about earlier?" Hanbin blinked at you.

     "D-didn't you see my texts?" It was your turn to blink in confusion before pulling out your phone. Just as he said, there were about 11 missed texts from your boyfriend. You hurriedly opened them, worried something had happened. Your brain stopped when you looked at the first message. It was a picture. More importantly, it was a picture of your boyfriend with his cock leaking precum all over your panties in his hold as he bit down on his plump bottom lip. Drool pooled in your mouth as you read the following messages. 

I miss you

I was doing the laundry like you told me to but I found these and I remembered how pretty you looked in them and I just couldn't help myself :(

I hope you're not mad at me :((

…

Maybe I could come make it up to you?

I know how you love the thought of fucking me where anybody could see how good I am for you

And we both know I'm not quiet so I'd have to try and be extra quiet cause the thought of someone catching us would be so embarrassing but god would it be hot

Now I'm all worked up again miss…

2 Missed Calls from 💖Hanbin💖

💖Hanbin💖 has sent an image

I'll be there in a few minutes <3

     The image he sent was a mirror selfie of the outfit he was currently wearing, but he was pulling down the pants a bit over his hip to show off the panties that he had been using in the first pic. You heard your boyfriend whimper at the growl you let out upon seeing the scandalous messages he had sent you. Your eyes glanced up at his figure. Hanbin audibly gulped when you backed your chair away from your desk and motioned him closer. When he was standing between you and the desk you stood, making him yelp as his back hit the wood behind him. His breathing was uneven as you brought your hand up to his face to softly brush some hair out of his face. 

      "You're such an insatiable little whore, aren't you? Showing up here in hopes of getting your dick wet. You couldn't even wait five minutes for me to tell you it was alright." He bit down on his lip, eyes fluttering as your words made a tingling feeling erupt in his lower belly. "What if I were in a meeting when you got here? Would you have wanted me to slam you on the table and use you in front of everyone?" A shaky moan filled the air as he threw his head back, your words making his cock harder in the panties you knew he was wearing.

     "Yes~ Want everyone to see how you use me. How you make a mess of me for your own pleasure." He whimpered breathlessly, already falling apart before you. You snickered at him as you sat back down in your chair.

     "Look at you, begging for me before I've even touched you." Your eyes raked over his body, taking in his panting form as sweat was already forming on his brow.

     "I-I edged myself twice on the way over here s-so my cock would be ready for you." A loud snort left you at his confession.

     "What, you think I'm gonna fuck that thing? You really think that would be able to please me?" He whimpered as you reached up, digging your nails into his cheeks as you yanked him down so he was eye level with you. "Pathetic." 

     The tips of his ears were bright red as tears began to brim his eyes, but you knew he liked it from the way he kept squeezing his thighs together. You moved your hand to his shoulder and pushed him down to his knees. You let out an exaggerated huff while brushing your fingers through his hair. 

     "I've just had the worst day today baby. Do you think you could help me… de-stress a little bit?" You asked as you pulled up your skirt so it scrunched up around your waist. His eyes seemed to sparkle in excitement as he licked his lips, nodding as he shuffled closer to you. Your head rolled back as he licked a couple stripes up your slit over your panties before moving the fabric to the side to wrap his lips around your clit. It was truly amazing how he had managed to learn so much from you in such a short amount of time. He had no clue what he was doing the first time he had eaten you out but, as you found out, he was a very quick learner. 

     A moan flew past your lips before you could stop it, your hands shooting down to tightly grip his hair as his tongue teased your entrance with his nose rubbing your clit. There was a sudden knock on the door. Both Hanbin and you tensed up before you cleared your throat.

     "Come in." You called. Damien walked through the door, holding a small stack of papers. He sent you a bright smile as he set them down on your desk.

     "Okay, these are the reports from each of our divisions you asked for yesterday." You sent him a tight lipped smile, pulling the stack closer to you to quickly skim through them. You internally groaned as he sat on the edge of your desk. "Sorry about that meeting earlier today though, I wouldn't have scheduled it at all if I had known what a tool he was."

     "Hey, don't beat yourself up over it. There's no way you could've-" your breath hitched in your throat as Hanbin suddenly continued his tongue's movements over your entrance, "-ahem- kn-known that." Relief washed over you when Damien didn't question the split second pause in your sentence.

     "If your boyfriend hadn't called when he did I feel like we'd still be stuck listening to him." Your secretary chuckled. "Speaking of which, how has Hanbin been recently? I remember you mentioning worrying about him cause he kept locking himself up in his studio." You moved your foot to dig your heel into your boyfriend's thigh in an attempt to get him to stop. The only thing it did was make him let out a breathy sigh against your core before digging back in. Now you were almost regretting teaching him as much as you did.

     "H-he's been good. I actually see him around the house now, so that's a relief." You managed to get out with a strained laugh. Damien nodded.

     "That's good to hear. You were starting to make me worry, heh. It's not good to go that long without a proper meal. I assume it's gotten better now? You making him eat more than those instant ramen cups you said he was hoarding back there?" You hesitantly nodded, kicking Hanbin's thigh under the table again when he started thrusting his fingers into you. God you hoped this conversation would end soon. You froze up as soon as Damien looked you in the eyes, his unwavering gaze telling you everything. 

     "Welp, I'd better get going. Lots of work to do." He said as he walked to the door, turning around last second to send you one last smile. "You two have fun in here." Mere seconds after the door closed behind the boy, you came with a muffled cry. Your boyfriend quickly lapped up your release, making sure not to waste a single drop. You sat there for about a minute as you waited for your heart rate to return to normal. As soon as you had calmed down you roughly grabbed the boy on his knees by his hair, yanking him to his feet.

     "What the hell was that?! In what world did you think it was okay to embarrass me in front of my secretary?!" You saw a look of genuine guilt flash across his eyes for a moment, making you loosen your grip on his hair and soften your features. "Are you alright baby? Am I going too far?" He immediately shook his head.

     "You- you're not actually mad at me, are you?" You cupped his face in your hands, pressing a quick kiss to his lips before resting your forehead against his.

     "Of course not baby boy. You did such a good job for me, made me feel so so good." A smile spread across his face at the praise as he nuzzled closer to you. "So do you wanna stop here or…"

     "No, I'm good now." He said with a smile. You pressed one more soft kiss to his forehead before spinning him around and harshly bending him over your desk, making sure to steer clear of the files that had just been set there. He let out a cute little gasp of surprise when his warm cheek met the cold surface.

     "Now baby, how would you like it if I embarrassed you huh? Make you scream like a little bitch for me so the entire building can hear you." You growled out the last sentence as you rolled your hips into his clothed rear. You furrowed your eyebrows. Hanbin gulped as you hurriedly pulled down his pants and panties to reveal the jewel ended plug you had gotten him for his birthday. You groaned as you tucked your bottom lip between your teeth. The loud smack was followed by Hanbin's sweet whimpers as the stinging sensation slowly reddened his cheeks.

     "Such a shameless whore aren't you. You must've been real needy for me, huh baby?" Helpless whimpers fell from him as he nodded his head. A smirk spread across your face as you suddenly got an idea. Before he could fully process what was happening, you had Habin pressed to the glass of your office window that overlooked the buzzing city streets down below.

     "Look at that baby. If anyone just so happened to look up here they'd get an eyeful of your slutty little body pressed to the glass. I bet you'd like that huh? Letting everyone know that you're just my little whore?" A breathy, high pitched moan left him as you lifted his shirt so his nipples were pressed against the cold glass. What you had said was absolute bullshit since the window was too high up for anybody to possibly see what you were doing, but the thought was still there. The fact that you were grinding your hips into his didn't help either.

      "Yes, your slutty little whore. I'm your little fucktoy." He murmured against the glass, his mind fuzzy as he only focused and the pleasure you were teasing him with. "Please!" He whined as he grinded his ass back into you, biting his lip when it made the plug inside him shift deeper. You giggled at his impatience and kissed his cheek before grabbing a hold of the jewel base and thrusting the plug into him at a steady pace. 

     His noises were music to your ears. Sweet melodic moans and whimpers flowed from his opened mouth as he urgently grinded back against your movements, urging you to go faster. You rolled your eyes and focused on moving the plug around in search of his prostate. A smirk settled on your face when almost screamed in pleasure, muttering a string "There!" and "Please~", letting you know you found your target. You made sure to hit his prostate with every thrust, picking up the pace while thrusting the toy into him harder. His head was thrown back against your shoulder, mouth hung open in an endless stream of moans and whimpers while his hands gripped your hips since it was the only thing he could hold onto at the moment.

     "Oh fuck- AH- f-fuck miss! I'm- I'm gonna- oh god- c-cum! Ngh- please please please let me c-cum miss!" He cried out, legs shaking beneath him and drool leaking from the corner of his mouth. You pretended to think about it for a minute, teasing him as you pumped his cock; a difficult task since it was just small enough that it seemingly disappeared in your grasp.

     "Hmmm, I dunno baby. You've been an awfully bad boy today; teasing me at work and sending me those whorish pictures of your pathetic little cock." You teased, emphasizing the little while flicking the head of his dick. His eyes rolled back in his head at that. 

     "I-I'm sorry miss, so so sorry! Please let me cum! L-let me- holy shit- let me be a good b-boy for you!" You scoffed at him.

     "You really are pathetic. I bet you'd whore yourself out for anyone wouldn't you?" 

     "NO! No no no no no, o-only miss gets to see me like this! T-touch me like this! Nobody else- I p-promise!" You hummed, delighted by his words.

     "Good. I mean, it's not like anyone else would take you anyway. They'd take one look at your tiny cock and go find a bigger cock to satisfy them." He whined, tears pricking his eyes from the humiliation of your words as well as how long he'd been fighting to hold in his orgasm. His eyes locked with yours, unable to form coherent sentences anymore and begging with his eyes. "Alright baby, you can cum now." A mantra of 'thank you' filled the room, followed by a loud cry of pleasure as his white ropes of cum covered the window. You slowed down your movements, leaving a trail of kisses down his neck and across his shoulder. More kisses were peppered all over his face as you turned him around, cupping his face in your hands.

     "You did so good for me baby, took everything so well for me." A weak smile spread across his face as he came down from his high. Your eyes shone with worry as you took him in. "I didn't go too far the last little bit, did I?" He giggled weakly, giving you a kiss while smiling against your lips.

     "No, I know that I please you in other ways." You smile back at him.

     "Hell yeah you do. I swear your mouth is a gift from the gods, and I still don't know what I did to deserve it." He giggled at your remark, lightly slapping your arm while whining a quiet "shut up~". You joined in his giggling, giving him another kiss. "I love you baby."

     "I love you too." He said with a dopey smile on his face. You reluctantly pulled yourself out of his grip to dig around in your drawers for some window cleaner.

     "You get dressed while I clean the window. Afterwards we can go home and chill on the couch eating pizza if you want." He smiled like a kid on christmas morning, nodding excitedly before practically jumping into his discarded clothes. Another giggle left you at his excitement. Love filled your gaze as you looked at him. That was the love of your life right there, and you were certain that there was no one who could take his place.

[morrisondauthor]

“Behind the Platform”

           I remember a time when I enjoyed doing a photoshoot with Jamal. We’d smile and have fun while the photographer snapped shots of us and the mood would be so genuine. After the photoshoot, we’d go back home and have sex like two wild animals. Hell, there were times where we couldn’t even make it home and we’d have to get it on in the back of his Chevrolet Tahoe. I truly missed those moments. Now, five years into our relationship, I constantly found myself wondering if being with him was still worth it.

           “Turn your head toward me,” the photographer directed as he got in position to take another shot.

           I turned my head towards him while facing the wall and he snapped a few shots of me. When I looked up and saw the way Jamal was watching me from across the room, a shiver ran up my spine. I could tell he was still angry because of the argument we had the night before. He hadn’t said a word to me that morning but every time he stared at me; I could feel his anger. When the time came for him to join me, he finally spoke to me.

           “I wanna do a separate shoot, Corey,” he told me as he took his shirt off. “I’m not really in the mood to do that lame ass couple shit.”

           “Lame ass couple shit?” I asked. “You really are on some other shit today. We’re supposed to send in solo pics and pics of us together. They’re not gonna pick us for the ad if we don’t.”

           “So?”

           “Jamal…”

           “Can you go the fuck on already? You’re done.”

           “This little pissy attitude of yours is really getting old. I can’t believe you’re this mad because I used the last bit of laundry detergent last night. It is not that damn serious. All you had to do was take your ass down to the store and buy some more.”

                                           Me (Corey McMillan)

           “It ain’t even about that.”

           “Oh, what the fuck ever, Jamal. I’ve had it with you picking petty shit to argue with me over. And I’m tired of defending your stank ass attitude whenever my friends are visiting.”

           “Fuck your bitch ass friends. All they do is talk shit and eat my food and junk up my apartment.”

           “Your apartment?!”

           “Yes! I pay most of the bills up in that mothafucka! You’ve had it with me, huh? I’ve been had it with your sorry ass! Now get the fuck out my way!” He pushed me out of the way so that he could begin his session with the photographer.

                                               Jamal Grant

           Everyone working around the room was staring at me and I was so embarrassed. It was the first time we’d had an argument in front of strangers. The fact that he could talk to me like that in public had me on the verge of crying. It’s one thing to talk to me like that when we were at home, but it’s another to do it while we were at a photoshoot to promote our brand. It was like professionalism meant nothing to him anymore. I was beginning to believe nothing, including me, meant anything to him anymore.

           My relationship with Jamal began during our senior year of high school. We’d known each other since ninth grade but it wasn’t until our last year at Braxton-Jacobs High that we noticed each other. Things moved very fast between us and after we graduated, he came out to his parents. They didn’t accept him and threw him out of their home. My parents wouldn’t let him come live with us so I turned down the chance to go to a local university and left with Jamal. He had a cousin living in Los Angeles so we traveled all the way to the other side of the country. While living with his cousin, we began vlogging on YouTube and that was the beginning of it all.

           Our YouTube channel, JCGrantENT, grew into a pretty big business venture for us. We got all kinds of endorsements and had millions of subscribers as well as large followings on several social media accounts. The thing I loved about it the most was that we had a platform to promote being black and gay in America. We had a voice and influence in things that mattered and no price could be put on something that valuable. It was so sad that after building such a platform, we’d reduced ourselves to pretending to still be happy. I honestly couldn’t remember the last time we actually were happy.

           “Don’t forget the damn detergent,” he snapped at me as I was getting out of his Tahoe at the grocery store. He handed me the debit card in a rude manner without even looking at me.

           I snatched the card from him and asked, “Do you want anything else?”

           “We’re low on Red Bull and get me some Hot & Spicy Cheez-Its.”

           I slammed the door and headed into the store. After putting the laundry detergent, Red Bull and a box of Hot & Spicy Cheez-Its in the shopping cart, I headed over to the restrooms because I had to pee. I left the shopping cart by the water fountain and hurried into the men’s room. When I got in there and saw my fitness trainer Kevonte taking a selfie, I called out, “Hey, Kevonte.”

           He looked at me and smiled as he said, “Wassup, Corey.”

                                                   Kevonte

           “Wow, this is my first time seeing you outside of the gym.”

           “Yeah, I know. How are you?”

           “I’m good. You?”

           “Same. I’m supposed to be picking up a few things but thought I’d come in here and take a pic for the Gram since I’m in a mood.”

           I laughed and said, “I feel you.”

           “See you around.”

           “Alright, later.” After I watched him leave, I went over to a urinal and relieved myself. I then washed my hands and when I headed out of the bathroom, I was surprised to see Kevonte standing by my cart. “I thought you were going to pick up the items you needed?”

           “I am but I was hoping we could talk while I did that. I see you already got your stuff.”

           “I still gotta get some bananas.” I began pushing the cart and he walked alongside me. “What do you want to talk about?”

           “Well, you haven’t been at the gym in a couple of weeks. Everything alright with you?”

           “Yeah, everything is fine.”

           “Are you and your dude still having problems?”

           “Um…not really.”

           “That’s good. I don’t see how anybody could be mad at you for a long time anyway.”

           I blushed and rolled my eyes as we made it to the produce section. I grabbed two bunches of bananas and put them in the shopping cart before asking him, “Will you be working with anyone else tomorrow?”

           “Nope, I’m free tomorrow. You wanna get in a good workout?”

           “I sure do.”

           “Cool, I’ll think of some good routines to put together for you. I hope you’re ready to put in some work. You know how intense I like to get with it.”

           “Oh, I know.”

           “You know what?” Jamal asked, popping up out of nowhere.

           “Baby, what are you doing in here?” I asked. “I got everything and I’m about to go to the register.”

           He put his finger in Kevonte’s face and asked, “Who the fuck is this nigga?”

           “Whoa, get your finger out my face, bruh,” Kevonte said as he pushed Jamal’s hand away.

           “I know you didn’t just put your hands on me!”

           “Jamal, stop!”

           “You might be taller than me but I will fuck you up, my nigga.”

           “Jamal!”

           Kevonte took off his backpack and told me, “You better get your lil’ man, Corey. Because I ain’t the one.”

           “I ain’t the one either, nigga! What the fuck is good?”

           I put the shopping cart in between them and pushed Jamal back while telling him, “You are making yourself look so fucking stupid! Kevonte is my gym trainer!”

           “I heard what y’all were just talking about. He said something about doing routines and getting intense. Corey, if you’re fuckin’ this nigga I swear…”

           “My dude, I got a girlfriend,” Kevonte snapped. “I am straight. You really need to chill.” He gave me a look and asked, “Are you gonna be okay?”

           “Man, you need to fuckin’ walk away,” Jamal said to him. “Asking my boyfriend if he’s gonna be okay. I’m really about to lay hands on your bitch ass!”

           “I’ll be fine,” I told Kevonte. “I’m really sorry about this.”

           He gave Jamal a look and Jamal stared back at him until he began to walk away. Once he was gone, Jamal looked at me and said, “Go pay for this shit and then bring your dumb ass outside. Had me out in the car waiting forever on your ass!”

           He continued to talk out loud as he walked away from me and everyone near me stared. For the second time that day, I felt so embarrassed. I paid for our items and as I walked back out to his truck, I prayed that he would just drop it and go back to not saying anything to me. I was so afraid of one of us saying something that we couldn’t take back. We were halfway home when he decided to break his silence.

           “Did he fuck you?” he asked while keeping his eyes on the road.

           “I’m not even answering that,” I replied. “Because you’re not going to believe anything I say anyway.”

           “Corey, just be honest with me. Has he ever fucked you or did you give him head or anything?”

           “Jamal, he is straight.”

           “But you’re attracted to him, right?”

           “No!”

           “You never mentioned that nigga to me.”

           “Because we never talk like that anymore. I try to tell you things and you just tune me out. Jamal, I’m really fed up today. Just leave me alone.”

           “You’re fed up? I’m tired of your bullshit, too. I’m tired of your friends always coming over and I’m tired of your bitching! Now, you got some nigga about to fight me up in the damn grocery store!”

           “Oh my God! You’re the one who came in trippin’ when I told you he’s just my gym trainer!”

           “A gym trainer you never told me about! Is he really even a gym trainer?” He stopped at a red light and waited for me to say something but when I didn’t, he shook his head and said, “You know what, fuck you.”

           The moment he said that to me, I realized that he wasn’t the same Jamal Grant that I fell in love with back in high school. That person simply did not exist anymore. The way he said it was so blasé as if he just didn’t care how I would take it. On the rest of the ride home, I didn’t say another word to him. I was so upset that I felt like crying but I kept it all inside. We made it home and I hopped out of his truck and hurried inside our apartment building. I went up to our apartment and into the kitchen and made myself a glass of ice water. When he came in with the grocery bags, something just snapped inside me.

           “You need to pack some of your stuff and leave for a day or two,” I told him.

           He looked at me and responded, “I pay half the rent in here. I’m not going anywhere.”

           “You’re the one with the problem so you should remove yourself from the situation, Jamal. I’m not going to sit here and allow you to talk to me that way. I am an adult just like you are and that means we discuss things in a civil manner. I understand you’re jealous…”

           “Jealous?” He smirked and said, “I ain’t jealous of any damn thing. That overgrown ass nigga ain’t shit for me to be jealous over.”

           “You pose for pictures and laugh it up with so many other guys yet you can’t stand for me to have a conversation with my gym trainer in a grocery store? You are so wrong. And then you have the audacity to talk to me like some random guy off the streets.”

           “Corey…”

           “Pack some of your shit right now and go stay with one of your friends. Do you need me to call one of them and ask if it’s okay?”

           “I’m not going anywhere, Corey. You might as well get over yourself.” He placed the grocery bags and detergent on the counter before telling me, “Put that stuff up. I gotta go take a piss.”

           He left the kitchen and ran upstairs and after I took the few groceries out of the bag and put them away, I went upstairs and into our bathroom. He was at the sink washing his hands so when he looked up into the mirror and saw me standing there, I told him, “I can pack some stuff for you.”

           “I already told you I’m not going anywhere. And you’re not either. You’re not getting me out of here so you can bring that punk bitch up in here and you’re not going to go stay with him.”

           “See, this is why I don’t tell your insecure ass anything.”

           “I’m insecure now?”

           “You’ve always been insecure. But I make excuses for your insecurities and I have to stop doing that.”

           He laughed a little and asked, “You really are on some shit today, aren’t you?”

           “I’m not the one acting like a child today. I’m serious, Jamal. I want you to leave.”

           “You say that now and then like thirty minutes later you’re gonna want to do a prank video for YouTube.”

           “I guess I’m going to have to prove how serious I am.”

           I left the bathroom and went into our bedroom. I pulled one of his luggage bags from his side of our closet and opened it on the floor. When I began snatching some of his clothes down and dropping them into the bag, he pushed me deeper into the closet and shouted, “Don’t touch my fucking clothes! See, there you go playing and shit!”

           “I’m not playing with you, Jamal! Get your shit and get the fuck out!”

           I stood there and waited for him to pull some of his own clothes down but when he didn’t, I bent down and grabbed a pair of his shoes. He knocked them out of my hand and when I tried to get him out of my way, he punched me. And it wasn’t a light punch or a little smack; he punched me in my mouth with his fist closed as hard as he could. Immediately, the look on his face changed and tears filled his eyes. I was in shock for about a second but the moment I tasted blood; I went crazy on him. I lost count of how many times I hit him back. I kneed him in the balls and when he went down, I ran out of that closet as fast as I could. He was right behind me though and almost caught me as I ran into the bathroom and locked the door.

           “Baby, I’m so sorry,” he said through sobs as he knocked on the door. “Corey, please open the door. I swear to God I didn’t mean to do that.”

           “Fuck you, Jamal!” I shouted. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw how busted my lip was. I began crying as I screamed, “You motherfucker!”

           “Oh my God, baby. I fucked up. I didn’t mean to do that shit. Come out here and hit me as hard as you want to and I promise I won’t do that shit again. Baby, please!”

           I reached into my pocket to grab my phone but realized it wasn’t there. I’d left it downstairs on the kitchen counter. As angry as I was with him, I was angrier with myself. I let it get to that point instead of calling one of my friends or his friends to help diffuse our argument or help one of us leave the apartment before it went too far. Still, he crossed a line when he punched me. I just never expected him to ever do something like that to me.

           “Corey, please just come out and let me know you’re alright. Don’t go silent on me, baby. I love you so much and you know I would never do some shit like that to you on purpose. I just…I got so mad. It’s all my fault and I promise you I will make it up to you somehow.”

           “You can’t.”

           “What? What did you say, baby?”

           “I said you can’t, Jamal. You can’t make this up to me and you…” I got choked up but continued, “I really need you to go for a walk or a drive right now.”

           “I’ll do anything. How long do you want me to go?”

           “Go away for two hours. I need like two hours.”

           “And you’ll be here when I get back?”

           I almost broke down as I lied, “Yeah. I’ll be here, baby.”

           “Okay. I’m gonna go downstairs and get some ice for my eye and then I’m gonna go for a drive. I love you, Corey. I love you.”

           He waited for me to say it back but after a little while, he gave up and I heard him go downstairs. I listened closely as he moved around in the kitchen and when I heard the front door open and close, I unlocked the door and left the bathroom. I went downstairs and made sure he was gone before I ran back upstairs and packed some clothes and essential items I’d need. I randomly chose a friend in my phone and called to ask if I could stay with her for a little while. She told me I could and I caught a Lyft to her place. That night, I sent a long text to Jamal telling him that we were over and that I’d be back to get my things soon. I then blocked him before he could respond to the text.

           “Those boxes are going to storage,” I told the movers as I pointed to the boxes. “Please be careful with them.”

           “Yes, sir,” said one of the movers.

           “You don’t have to put some of your stuff in storage, Corey,” my friend Nick said to me. “I have enough room for it.”

           “Nope. I am only staying with you and Darnell until I can save up enough money to get my own place. That shouldn’t take me long. I’ve already withdrawn my half of the money from me and Jamal’s joint account so it won’t take much added to it to have enough to get my own place.”

           “I still can’t believe it’s over between you two. I mean; damn, y’all were together before you even moved out here from back east.”

           “I’d been having doubts, Nick. We’d been arguing more and more and when he did what he did…I just didn’t have any option other than this.”

           “You’re stronger than me. If Darnell ever hit me, I’d still stay with him with my low self-esteem ass.”

           I laughed a little and said, “Darnell would never hit you though. He has too much respect for you to ever do that.”

           “Unlike me, huh?” Jamal asked as he entered the apartment.

           “You told me you weren’t going to be here, Jamal. I’m calling the police.”

           “Baby, wait. I’m not here to hurt you. I just needed to see you in person. It feels like it’s been forever.”

           “It’s only been two weeks.”

           “That is an eternity when it means being away from you. Please, I really need to say some things to you that I probably won’t get to say after you leave this apartment. Can we have a moment alone?”

           “Nope, whatever you have to say will have to be said in front of Nick and these movers walking around in here.”

           “Okay, I can do that.” He moved closer to me and looked into my eyes as he began, “Corey, I apologize for putting my hands on you. I honestly don’t know what got into me and I have already signed up for counseling. We can put JCGrantENT on pause while we work through this. I can sleep down here on the sofa. I won’t go to any parties or hang out with my boys and I’ll do anything you need me to do. You are my everything, Corey.”

           “Are you done?”

           Tears rushed to his eyes as he pleaded, “Baby, please take some time to think about this. You know you’re all I have. You were there when my family threw me out. I don’t have anybody else and you know that. Now, I take full responsibility for everything. I know I have work to do and I am going to do it and I know one day I’ll be the man you fell in love with again.” He waited for me to say something but I just looked at him. As if I’d just punched him in his chest, he began breathing heavily as his tears rolled down his face. He placed his hand on his chest and managed to say, “You’re looking at me like this is the last time we’re going to see each other.”

           “That’s because it probably is. I have spent the last two weeks trying to come up with a reason to stay with you and…it shouldn’t be that hard. I love you; I know that much. I miss the way things were between us. But baby, there is a disconnection between us and it happened when we were in your truck that day and you told me, ‘fuck you.’ For those words to even leave your mouth the way they did was enough for me to know you lost whatever amount of respect you had left for me. It was that lack of respect that told you it was okay to punch me in my mouth.”

           “But Corey…”

           “No.” I tried to fight back my tears but once again, the tears won. They streamed down my face as I stared into his eyes and told him, “I would rather be alone than give you another chance. You’re simply not worth it. And I’m not saying that to break you, I’m saying it because it’s the truth and I’ve always kept it real with you. I left my family to move out here and start this life with you. That was your chance, Jamal! That was the opportunity I gave you! It was the only one I was ever willing to give you.”

           “What about our platform? Huh? What about the young black gay men who look up to us? We work for foundations that raise money for all kinds of causes. This relationship is bigger than just us, Corey.”

           “We’ve been lying to all of our fans and everyone else for a while now. We pretend to be happy for social media and I can’t even remember the last time I actually laughed with you or did a damn prank video that was real and not staged! It’s time for some honesty.”

           “And what about our future? We were supposed to get married and you were gonna change your name to Corey McMillan-Grant and…”

           “It’s over, Jamal. It’s really over. I think it’s good that you’re going to talk to a counselor and I wish you well, but I love and respect myself too much to be someone’s mental and physical punching bag. It doesn’t matter that you believe you’ll never do it again. The only way to make sure it never happens again is for me to leave you and that’s what I’m doing.”

           I was still very angry with him but I felt his pain so I didn’t want to make it worse for him. I gave him a hug and I kissed his cheek and that was what broke him. I honestly did it to comfort him before I left but he took it another way and he cried harder than I’d ever seen him cry before. He went upstairs to the bedroom we used to share and I could still hear him crying as I made sure all of my belongings had been moved from the living room to the moving truck. I actually felt a huge weight lift from my shoulders as I rode away from the building in Nick’s car.

           That night, I posted videos on each account we used to let our followers know that JCGrantENT was over and that I was sorry for not being able to provide a positive example for those who looked to us for guidance, comfort and even a safe place to share their thoughts and stories. I thanked them for their support and I was very careful not to go into detail about what happened because I did not want to hurt any future business opportunities for Jamal. After saying everything I needed to say, I called it a night and climbed into bed in Nick and Darnell’s guest room.

           I was just about to drift off to sleep when my phone vibrated. I unlocked it to see it was because I’d gotten a notification from Instagram. One of my closest friends from home had posted a pic of me and Jamal from our senior prom night and had tagged me in it. I laughed a little to myself as I said quietly, “End of an era.”

[Disclaimer]: Pictures used do not reflect the sexuality or personality of people in the pictures. They only serve as visual examples of the characters.

© D.A. Morrison 2019

[nijuuuu]

Fire Hazard

As y’all could apparently tell, a certain fic author has inspired me to write some gay. So here’s some fluffy gay.

Original fic for @fictober-event​.

Prompt 19:  “Yes, I admit it, you were right.” 

Rating: T+

Title: Fire Hazard

Warnings: Alcohol mentions, light harassment

AO3 mirror here.

Sophie moved like a skillful calligrapher’s brush, leaving behind deliberate, knowing strokes with every footstep. When she got close enough, the scent of freshly brewed lattes drifted through the air, and when the sun was shining, you could see pretty auburn dots run along the nape of her neck. Even her dorky glasses paired absurdly well with the gently cresting waves of her umber hair.

Sophie was beauty. Sophie was grace.

And Sophie was irritatingly straight.

“Why don’t you take a picture, paintcan? It’d last longer,” she smirked, shimmying into her usual chair.

Cait glared and stuck her tongue out. “Tough luck. I’m stuck with you until the lease runs out. And… I was staring at your shirt. You have a rough night?”

Sophie tilted her head to the side and absentmindedly ran two slender fingers over one of the holes in her shirt, revealing just a little more of her smooth, pale skin. “Hmm, I seem to recall you having a rough night yourself a while back. Or, more accurately, waking up next to one.”

“She was a mistake. A drunken, mistake, you overpaid coffee machine, and that was three months ago.” Cait avoided her roommate’s gaze by lifting her mug of scalding tea to her face. HOT HOT HOT. Keep it together.

Sophie giggled, a sound so bright it could make the sun wear sunglasses. “Well. It’s costume day at the cafe! Isn’t that exciting?”

“You going as ‘laundry night’? You’re gonna be freezing your butt off.”

“Think more ‘drop-dead gorgeous werewolf,’” Sophie shot back, a hint of honey in her voice. A few keys jingled, and suddenly she was waltzing her way to the front door. “I’ll post the finished look on Insta, ‘kay? Look forward to it! And I’ll get tonight’s groceries. Just grab a good lunch, sleepyhead!”

And just like that, the scent of lattes disappeared, and the sky was downcast again.

See? Irritating.

Cait let out a beleaguered sigh and sank down in her chair. “Sleepyhead” was a new one. And with every new one came a new emotion she didn’t know she could have, and certainly not one she knew how to deal with.

She didn’t sign up for this. Not at first, at least. Despite their constant bickering, the two had been good friends since high school. When they managed to get into the same university, they decided to move in together. Sophie was kind of a mess back then, and she had terrible taste in men. So moving in was for her own good. Yep. That was it. Cait could think of no other reason.

Until Sophie became less of a mess. She started to go through boyfriends slower than one a month, thank god, until the number finally dwindled down to zero. Then came her brushstroke movements and the way she would gently lift that lucky soup spoon to her lips. She started to do heart-melting little gestures, leaving fresh plates of cookies on the countertop, placing little sticky notes on the fridge to wish her roommate a good day. And then she landed that new job at the cafe. Cait was always weak for a good latte. She never stood a chance, really.

It had been almost two years since then, two tantalizing years. “Never get with your roommate,” her friends had cautioned her. “It never ends well.” That, plus the fact that Sophie had loudly proclaimed her love for men after a drunken night or two of revelry. Ah, how love can fizzle out as quickly as it sparks. Really, Cait never stood a chance.

“So can my dumbass heart stop for just one second!!” she yelped, leaping up in her chair. She couldn’t think straight with her roommate around, damnit! How inconsiderate. How irritating. She had commissions to finish, and a strongly worded letter to send to her professor, and that 200k slowburn wasn’t going to read itself.

That last one sounded good right now. Drawing could wait. Cait slapped her mug into the sink and trundled her way over to her laptop.

A few tear-jerking hours later, she felt her phone buzz on the tabletop. She took a glance. The barista of her dreams had just shared a post on Insta.

Cait had never unlocked the screen faster.

Sophie always looked cute in her uniform. But today, she was positively heavenly. Her apron caressed the generous curves of her torn shirt, giving the slightest peeks to a sight that could make anyone’s stomach churn. Her black stockings stretched over her short but heinously delicate legs, ending inside her fuzzy brown boots. She was holding a drink and biting the straw with a vengeance while wearing a playful expression on her face that really did not help Cait’s problem. Actually, the adorable creature was even baring a set of fake fangs, which really, really did not help the problem. Her hair was tied back in a loose ponytail, and a soft wolf-ear headband sat atop her head. And she was winking, her long lashes practically kissing the lenses of her big round glasses, showing off a hint of her brownish-red eyeshadow that unfortunately drew the line of sight directly to those irritatingly honeyed irises.

She was probably violating a few dress codes. She was a fire hazard. A horribly dangerous fire hazard in Cait’s heart.

Another notification broke the silence. This time, it was a DM.

Soupie: Paintcan!!

Soupie: New look uploaded!!! ;>

Soupie: Pretty fired up today.

Kitcait: Oh. Didn’t notice

Soupie: Well, NOTICE!!!

Kitcait: Still wearing that shirt in the freezing cold I see

Kitcait: Blogger to the core

Soupie: ...

Soupie: If you didn’t like the look, you can just say so.

Kitcait: No!! No. I actually think it’s really cute. Really. I don’t think anyone else could pull it off as well. Cute and seasonal. Nice ears lmao

Soupie: I--

Soupie: Thanks.

A moment passed.

Soupie: Suspicious thanks, but thanks, Cait.

Kitcait: Ye

Soupie: How’s your lunch going? You eating well, you vampire?

Cait snorted and sent Sophie a quick selfie with her half-eaten cup of instant noodles.

Kitcait: Meal of champions

Soupie: HEY!!!

Soupie: You’re gonna pass out from malnutrition some day!

Soupie: We’re going to have a decent dinner and I will cook the whole thing and feed it to you by hand if I have to.

Kitcait: Looking forward to biting your hand

Soupie: Worth it. Break’s over gotta go see you in 4

Ahhh,

Oh, jeez.

That adorable, kindhearted, devastating idiot.

How was she supposed to concentrate on anything now?

“Deep breaths, dumbass,” said Cait, clutching her comically pounding chest.

It was a bright, crisp autumn day outside. Some fresh air couldn’t hurt. A quick stroll might help. Maybe she could go get those groceries instead. But she would have to meet Sophie as she got out from work. You know, so they didn’t accidentally double up on expensive produce. Yeah, that’s why. Not because the short, peppy woman happened to be Aphrodite in an apron.

Cait stood up tugged on her overcoat. She paused as she saw the enormous orange blanket scarf that hung by the door, a relic from the previous tenants of their apartment.

Well. Just in case, yeah?

Cait lifted the fabric and hung it on her arm, and she was out the door as well.

Her arms were starting to get sore from lugging around two full bags of food, but luckily for her, she had the gift of long legs and a quick gait. And she was already getting close to the cafe. It would be all worth it if she could just see--

Sophie, standing right outside her workplace, in all of her ‘drop-dead gorgeous werewolf’ glory. The bottom of her shirt was tied in a little knot now, lifting above her midriff and her long plaid circle skirt. Cait tried her very, very best not to get lost in the sight of the most dazzling roommate in the world.

A roommate who, to her immediate dismay, was chatting with a local frat boy.

“Jerry, I’m too tired for this, I really have to get home--”

“Come on! Hey, you look great today.” His voice rumbled up and down the street like a revving engine, attracting more than a little attention from passers-by.

“I really have to--”

“Just one drink? I’m buyin’! We can go get the good stuff!” The wild gorilla-man gesticulated a little too enthusiastically. Enough was enough.

“Sophie!” Cait stepped forward and ruffled the barista’s hair. “Funny I should see you here.”

“Hey!” Jerry’s tone soured. “I saw you at that party. You’re that dy--”

“Six-foot-tall, MMA-certified lesbian,” snapped Cait, “who would love an excuse to smack your scrawny ass into the leaves. Or, you know. To call the cops.”

The man scoffed and thankfully began to trundle away. “You’re no fun anyway.”

Cait let out a shaky sigh. It really wasn’t like her to pick a fight, but hell if she didn’t look at least a little bit cool in the heat of the moment.

She turned back towards Sophie.

“Hey. Are you hurt?”

Her roommate shook her head and stepped a little closer, holding the sides of her arms. “I’m okay. I don’t think he was going to do anything, he’s just kinda pushy, but...” Sophie looked up with soft eyes. “Thanks. Cait.”

Suddenly, fireworks.

So irritating!

“Anyway, MMA? Really?”

Cait chuckled, thankful for the change of topic. “I did taekwondo as a kid. Same difference.”

Her roommate let out a heart-stopping giggle, and they started walking back home. Somehow, up close and in person, she was a couple thousand times cuter. And suddenly the sidewalk became an object of close scrutiny.

“Achoo!”

Cait quickly glanced back over and let out an involuntary snort. Sophie was shivering in her scandalously frayed top, her nose and cheeks growing pink.

“Come on, wolfie, let’s sit down somewhere.”

As they made their way to a park bench, the taller girl slipped off her overcoat and draped it around Sophie, who let out a noise somewhere between a grunt and a breath of appreciation.

“Told you you’d get cold,” said Cait in a hushed tone, tucking the scarf around her friends’ neck.

Sophie scrunched up her face in a way that made the lesbian say a quick internal prayer of thanks that the two could exist at the very same point in time, just centimeters apart in this cold, cruel world.

“Yes, I admit it, you were right.”

Ugh.

Even her pout was perfect.

Then she flipped around and pressed up against Cait, filling her mind with nothing but coffee grounds and confetti. Sophie’s hair was on fire in the golden-hour glow as she leaned her head against her roommate’s chest. A couple stray threads tickled Cait’s jaw and positively set her cheeks ablaze as well.

“You know,” Sophie said with a playful sigh, “you’d be pretty good boyfriend material.”

Cait gave a slightly bitter scoff. “What about girlfriend material?”

They said nothing for just a moment too long.

The world passed by a mile a minute around them, and the feisty barista was uncharacteristically silent.

Suspiciously silent.

Sophie buried her face in that annoyingly orange scarf.

Cait fought back her heart as it threatened to leap up to her throat. She’d felt this before. But something was different this time. Oh gods, maybe, just maybe, something was different this time.

“Soph,” she whispered softly, her voice breaking with every heartbeat. “Can… can I see your face right now?”

The shorter girl disobediently turned the other way.

But Cait leaned forward, reaching out, and suddenly she was slowly easing her pouting crush’s head to face her own and gently prying the warm, soft scarf back downwards. It revealed a constellation of vivid freckles set aglow. And Sophie’s face was the most beautiful shade of red in the world, even redder than Cait had imagined in her wildest dreams.

“Holy cow,” Cait exhaled.

And for a single, heart-stopping moment, all the two could do was stare.

Until all of a sudden, fingertips were combing through umber hair, and slender hands were clinging on to the others’ back, and lips were meeting each other in near-painful desperation.

Sweet, soft, tender paradise for just a few seconds.

“I thought--”

“Cait. Hush,” whispered Sophie, looking directly into her roommate’s eyes this time.

And they both obliged and came together once more, a whirlwind of emotions kicking up in Cait’s heart that managed to settle on something warm and almost tearful. The kiss was gentler the second time around, a little kinder, and just a little harder to pull away again.

Then they both sat back into the bench, wide-eyed, looking off into the treetops.

“Weren’t you straight?” blurted Cait.

“Back then? I said I liked guys, you disaster, not that I exclusively liked guys.” Sophie seemed to be fighting back an enormous smile, cheeks still holding their brilliant rosy tint. “Plus, you didn’t hear what I mumbled after that. That I was maybe starting to think about girls. Well. Girl. To be accurate.” She continued, voice trailing off.

“Oh,” was all said girl could manage, as she felt soft arms wrapping gingerly around her.

For a beautiful moment, Sophie was all there ever was.

“You know,” the barista giggled mischievously into her roommate’s ear, “I can maybe. Think of some other nicknames I’d like to call you now.”

And Cait was on fire again.

“How about we make dinner first?”

[magic-and-moonlit-wings]

hmm.. hey, would it be too much to ask for just like a bunch of random facts about your changeling!jim that havent been said? i Love him and i want More Of Him

5 fun facts that have been shared about him, but which could be missed since they aren’t in the text of the story: 

1. Jim cries when watching Lilo and Stitch because he relates deeply to Stitch - a manufactured ‘monstrosity’, feared and hated and cast aside, who ends up on Earth and gets adopted into a human family. 

2. Shortly after James Senior left, Barbara caught Jim eating eggshells and thought he was developing pica. She warned him about the salmonella dangers of raw egg residue on the shells, and made him see a therapist. He got sneakier about eating them after that. 

3. Jim brought the fifth-birthday bike kit to the Janus Order headquarters and “banished it to the Darklands” - tossing it, piece by piece, into the Fetch. 

4. Jim is more attracted to trolls than to humans. 

5. Jim was originally going to be a matchmaker, as part of his desire to “get the fleshbags to enjoy life while they can”, but this idea got scrapped early on in his character development. (It still kind of comes through in him ‘encouraging’ Barbara and Strickler to get together, but that’s a scheme for her added protection, not matchmaking for its own sake.) 

25 fun facts never previously publicly revealed: 

1. Back in the Darklands, Jim had a reputation for being a good scavenger. Changelings on the surface who remember him from the Darklands are not surprised he likes cooking, and feeding people, because of how good he was at scavenging for food and how surprisingly willing he was to share.

2. Jim loves soft things. Changelings in the Darklands sleep together in a pile for warmth and he liked finding soft things to bring into the pile. 

He used to sneak into the Nursery to steal extra blankets from the supplies. The goblins chased him off the first few times but started ignoring him once they realized he wasn’t going after the cradles themselves.

3. Jim speaks goblin, well enough to recognize that the goblins in the Darklands and the goblins on Earth have different regional dialects. (He only speaks Darklands-goblin but they are close enough to be mutually understood.)

4. Jim was kidnapped in the last raid before the Gumm-Gumms were trapped in the Darklands. He can infer from how back his memories go that he must have been taken in one of the last raids - he can’t remember a time the Gumm-Gumms weren’t trapped in the Darklands - but he doesn’t know which one specifically.

5. Whenever Jim found books that were sent through the Fetch, he traded the book and a copious amount of flattery to bribe Dictatious for a reading lesson. That’s how Jim was able to read some of A Brief Recapitulation of Troll Lore on his own, without the Amulet translating, and how he was able to later compare Blinky’s and Dictatious’ teaching styles.

6. “Hit ’em in the Dictatious!” is a Changeling combat move wherein one strikes one’s opponent in the mouth and gronk-nuks at the same time. Jim coined the term in a moment of frustration, saying he’d like to hit Dictatious in the Dictatious if he could get away with it and then explaining the puns involved (dictation, referencing Dictatious’ excessive talking, and, well, the dick joke in his name), and the other Changelings loved it.

7. Nomura and Jim knew each other in the Darklands before either of them were assigned a Familiar.

8. Jim’s hair used to be dark blue (like Troll Jim in the show), but it turned black when he was tied to his Familiar. It is common for Changelings to experience minor cosmetic changes like that during the binding process.

9. He doesn’t actually look like Troll Jim from the show. There’s a resemblance but there are differences. (The audience gets a full description of what Changeling Jim looks like once Barbara sees him transform.)

10. Before they get Familiars, Changelings don’t have names. Gumm-Gumms call them “Changeling” or “Impure” or some variant of “hey you there”. 

If unnamed Changelings address each other directly, they use nicknames or say “Imp”, which becomes inappropriate once they do have names. (It was a major and deliberate insult when Otto called Not Enrique ‘Imp’ in Season Two; Otto was basically saying Not Enrique wasn’t worth planting on the surface and didn’t have a name yet.) 

Jim’s nickname, because of how he always brought soft things into the sleeping pile whenever he could, was ‘Cuddles’.

11. One of Jim’s dearest and most secret ambitions is to climb onto AAARRRGGHH’s back and take a nap in his fur. He’s pretty sure AAARRRGGHH would say ‘okay’ (at least before AAARRRGGHH found out about Jim being a Changeling) but never had the nerve to ask.

12. Jim is allergic to soy in his troll form, but not in his human form. Even he doesn’t know this yet, because he’s only eaten soy occasionally and only ever while humanoid. It’s not a deadly allergy but it is alarming and unpleasant.

13. Jim has memorized the personal scents of all of Nana Domzalski’s cats, so that if he sneaks out to hunt, he won’t eat one of them.

14. Jim is the reason the Lakes have never had a squirrel or raccoon nest in their attic. It’s not really an attic so much as a crawlspace between the ceiling and the roof, but the only access point from inside is a trapdoor in the ceiling of Jim’s closet, and he’s gone up there to ‘take care of’ squirrel or raccoon problems before Barbara can notice them.

15. When Jim was a newly-planted Changeling, he got curious whether any iron could transform him or if it had to be a gaggletack, so he snuck down to the kitchen late one night - figuring if Barbara or James caught him in troll form he could convince them it was a dream - and touched the cast iron frying pan. It did nothing. 

(Because I wanted him to be able to use cast iron cookware, and as a fun reference to how, in the novel that inspired the series, it was actually the horseshoe shape rather than the iron that disrupted the glamour - one Changeling gets exposed by being forced to touch a horseshoe-shaped emblem painted on a football helmet. No Lucky Charms cereal for them!)

16. Jim visited the Arcadia Oaks headquarters of the Janus Order for the first time within a week of being planted on the surface. The goblins led him there.

17. After James left, Jim hauled most of the blankets and sheets down to the laundry room, opened all the windows, set up a bunch of fans all blowing at full power, and washed everything he could get his hands on, to purge James’ scent from the house. 

Barbara noted this was odd, but Jim seemed to be channeling his grief and anger in a non-harmful way and she was too emotionally exhausted to interfere with anything that wasn’t dangerous, so she let him do it. 

Jim also insisted he and Barbara sleep in the living room for the next several days. She thought it was because he was scared she would disappear too, but it was actually to give time for James’ scent in the bedroom to fade, so Barbara wouldn’t be coming downstairs in the morning smelling like James hadn’t abandoned them. Jim would have liked her to just get a new mattress, but recognized this wasn’t financially viable with Barbara suddenly the sole breadwinner with med school tuition and a mortgage and bills to pay.

18. Jim has read most of Barbara’s medical textbooks. He doesn’t understand a lot but he had picked up on some of it.

19. Jim can use his cellphone to check on Jay-Jay, by switching the camera to the ‘selfie’ setting. Spitting on just the lens or the screen when the camera is facing the other way doesn’t work, but when the camera faces backwards, that makes it ‘close enough’ to a mirror for the spell to take effect. 

It does not work with his computer camera. Jim’s hypothesis is that the selfie camera on his phone allows him to spit on both the camera lens and the screen at the same time. 

With careful experimentation, Jim has confirmed he can take pictures of Jay-Jay this way, and use the ‘video’ setting to get audio. He can even film Jay-Jay if he has his phone on ‘video’ to begin with and starts recording after the spell takes hold; if he starts recording before, it just shows Jim’s own face. 

If he zooms in close, spits on the phone, and then zooms out, he can see a bit of the Nursery surrounding Jay-Jay, though not well due to the light conditions.

20. Jim always intended to give Jay-Jay back to Barbara someday. 

His original plan, back when he thought Gunmar would farm the humans instead of wiping the species out, was for Jay-Jay to be returned as a bribe/reward for Barbara’s good behaviour as she provided medical care for the human livestock. 

(Obviously the main reward would be ‘not getting eaten herself’, but Jim’s plan to sell this idea to Gunmar was that Jay-Jay would be a hostage who could be eaten as punishment if Barbara stepped out of line without actually costing them a doctor.) 

Ideally, she would apprentice Jay-Jay and teach him to become a doctor as well, so he never would get eaten and so that, once Barbara was too old to practice medicine, she could still be kept alive as a reward/hostage for Jay-Jay’s good behaviour. 

Jim would lose his human form but still have the Changeling immunity to sunlight, so he didn’t see this affecting him negatively. 

He hoped returning her biological son would speed up Barbara forgiving him for his role in subjugating her species, which Jim could admit to himself was probably something she’d be upset about.

21. Barbara or Toby being eaten by a troll is literally one of Jim’s worst nightmares. He doesn’t have that dream often but it always leaves him very clingy the next day to whichever of them he dreamed was eaten.

22. Jim will put mild sedatives in Barbara’s food and turn off her phone once she’s asleep when he thinks she’s working too hard, or if he needs to sneak out on her night off. She’s perpetually mildly sleep-deprived, so it doesn’t actually take much to knock her out.

23. The reason Jim dresses all in blue, even though he associates the colour with danger (because of Gunmar and the Nyarlagroths), is because he thinks it makes him look intimidating.

24. It is very important to Jim that AAARRRGGHH gets to stay a pacifist. It’s not just because he’s scared of AAARRRGGHH; it’s because Jim doesn’t like fighting, but, between his Changeling past and his Trollhunter future, he doesn’t feel he has the option of being a non-combatant, so someone like AAARRRGGHH having the choice to not fight becomes an emotional substitute (projection? I’m not sure I’m using that term correctly) for Jim himself being able to stop fighting.

25. Jim is convinced the reason Blinky keeps saying “Great Gronka Morka” is to keep himself from saying “gronk-nuks” in moments of frustration instead, like if a human said “balderdash” instead of “balls”.

[gaiatheorist]

Will it change?

Sexual harassment. Everywhere you look, even if you try not to. I don’t even know how to spell the noise I made when I read that sport-coaches are to be banned from having sexual relations with 16-17 year olds. I’d assumed that was ‘a given’, the age of consent in the UK is 16, but anyone working with under-18s should always have been bound by a duty of care not to take advantage of their charges? 

There is hand-wringing, and panicking amongst ‘some’ men, ‘some’ women are encouraging a shut-up-and-put-up approach, and a certain UK celebrity chef has banned his daughter from posting ‘selfies’ on Instagram. (Watch her other platforms, Daddy, it’s a brave move to come out and say you’re policing her profile, but you are only one of many push/pull factors in her life.) Gods, that’s an odd side-spin, the ‘Daddy’ angle, and I need to mind myself not to go off on a tangent of “As the father of daughters...” My mother saw me as a commodity, and wanted to parade me around grotty wine-bars in short skirts and low tops, my father had already laid the foundations of eroding my self-esteem to a point where I should have been ripe for the picking. In a way, I suppose I was.

Away from my possibly-unusual developmental experiences, with my father trying to keep me princess-pristine, and my mother trying to whore me out, I’m observing an attitude-shift, and I’m hoping it catches on. ‘Too late for me’, I suppose, but I will, eventually, re-engage with the world, and influence other people, in whatever way I can, that nobody has to ‘put up with it.’  Not just the sexualised angle, I’m currently ‘having a wobble’ about the gas-men. I don’t know which gas-men are coming to fix my heating today, more to the point, I don’t know if anyone’s coming at all, but that’s just the lettings agents being slack, and not confirming when they said they would. The heating has never worked properly, and I’ve reported it at every gas-safety inspection, and every condescending rental inspection for nine years. The landlord did have the boiler exchanged about four years ago, but putting a new boiler into a system that doesn’t work didn’t fix the heating, it just gives him a better ‘energy efficiency’ rating if he decides to sell the house. 

I’m hardly likely to come across as ‘bored housewife’, and, unless I actually mention it, nobody knows I’m that most fearsome of things, a single 40-year-old-woman. I’m wrapped in multiple layers of clothing, no make-up, no hair-do, I don’t ‘dress like a woman’, I dress like a human. If it’s the horrible old gas-man that usually does my safety inspection, I might not ‘bite my tongue’ this time. (In the ‘verbal inhibition’ sense, not the faux-coy 50 shades sense.) I avoid interacting with him as much as is possible, not because I’m a ‘nice girl’, or because he rambles on about different types of pipe-fittings, but because he infuriates me. He’s old-school, and me not being barefoot and pregnant upsets his view of ‘women.’ I have, on occasion, ‘talked back’ when he’s been offensive-assumptive, the only reason I usually stay out of his way is to avoid him making complaints about me to the lettings agents, and me ending up on some sort of list of ‘difficult tenants’. 

He, like the “Don’t try to lift that, lass, I’ll pick it up, it’s heavy.” father-in-law, are ‘too old to change.’ Defeatist? I don’t think so, more realistic. 20+ years of ‘lifting that’ didn’t stop the mole-man insisting I shouldn’t attempt multiple tasks or activities, due to the fact that I’m female. Old dogs, new tricks etc, a proportion of the population, regardless of the configuration of their genitalia, have very fixed perceptions of gender-roles and such. I don’t, but I’m just a collection of meat no-one eats, my son seeing that has taught him that the old ‘pink or blue’ rules are nonsense. Fair enough, that’s given rise to multiple identity-crises in him, but he knows he’s ‘not done yet’, and, as horrible as the wobbles are when he has them, he comes through the other side every time.  

That ‘family’ dynamic must have been difficult for him, there’s the ‘normalisation’ angle, in that small children just accept and absorb their environments, but, as he started to develop his own identity, I can imagine that the polarisation of ‘me’, and his dad’s family raised some questions in his mind. The ones he asked, I answered. His dad wanted to be ‘looked after’, I hate people doing things ‘for’ me. His grandma, aunts, and female cousins like cake, and flowers, and soap operas, I very much don’t. I made myself this way, as a protective mechanism, rejecting the perceived-vulnerabilities associated with femininity, I won’t have other people’s less-than perceptions projected on to me. The kid spent more time with me than his Dad during his formative years, I worked 20 hours a week, and the ex established a routine of his parents caring for ‘the grub’ during most of that time, grandma was ‘better’ with babies than the ex, and the ex never made any effort to improve his own ‘babysitting’ skill-set. He was 32 when the kid was born, not quite in the ‘too old to change’ bracket, but he chose not to change, handing over his infant son to the grandparents because he didn’t know ‘how’ to interact with the tiny, helpless thing. Neither did I, at first, one of us learned. 

The ex won’t change. He still wants to be the centre of attention all of the time, he ‘sits on’ the kid, when the boy’s busy reading, studying, or doing whatever else 19 year olds do. The man has no perception of personal space, he’s like a cat, if he wants your attention, and you don’t give it to him immediately, he sits on you. The ex has been raised to see a divide between ‘male’ and ‘female’ tasks, the mother-in-law must be in her eighties now, but she takes in his laundry, and cleans his flat, because he works. I worked. I worked full-time and then some, but he was somehow exempt from household chores, asking me to ‘have a quick tidy round’ when he had friends or family visiting. I should have said no, I allowed that to continue.  

There needs to be change. I’m exceptionally cautious on who I interact with because I genuinely don’t have the energy for arguments, that is a defeatist attitude, but I’m still in self-preservation mode. My ‘social circle’ is minuscule, in part because I hate the ‘justifying myself’ aspect of interacting with people, single-disabled-unemployed, and the audacity to be female as well? ‘Most’ people want to fix me, or fix me up. I’m broke, I’m not broken, I don’t need ‘fixing’. I fully accept that I’m the different/difficult one, and that ‘most’ people aren’t intending to be patronising, condescending, or offensive, they’re just ‘trying to help.’ In a way that reinforces the hetero-normative gender stereotypes partly responsible for this whole mess. (The world, not me, I’m almost entirely responsible for my own personal mess.) 

“Ooh, you can’t be on your own in the house all the time!” I can. 

“Do you want me to fix that for you?” No, I can fix most things myself.

“You ought to go out more, and have some fun!” Going out really isn’t fun when you have brain injuries, it’s overwhelming-exhausting. 

“Oh, I didn’t realise you’d split up! Are you ‘looking for someone’ now?” HELL, no, I’m a viable entity in my own right, I don’t ‘need’ to be part of a couple to exist. (Mad cackle, there, at the time I shocked my former managers into silence with “I have no desire to belong to anyone, or anything.”)

It’s a weird one, while-ever females continue to take advantage of their perceived enfeeblement, nothing will change, and some males will take advantage of the power imbalance. We’re not that different physically, and I doubt we’re as different emotionally as old fashioned thinking would have us believe. We’re all just mobile meat, with these invented-accepted rules and societal norms and such. (I walk on the side of the path closest to the road when I’m with my son, fifty, or a hundred years ago, that would have raised eyebrows, because it’s the male party that’s supposed to take the road-side, not the female. He’s taller and stronger than me, but neither of us carries a sword, so it doesn’t matter which of us walks on which side. I take the road-side so that if a vehicle does mount the kerb, it hits me before the boy.)  

For me, the ‘accepted’ could do with examining. Old fashioned good manners are one thing, but the assumption that all females are weak and feeble creatures, incapable of holding a thought in our pretty little heads needs to go. I’m under no illusion that I’ll see equality in my lifetime, but I’m hopeful that, as unpleasant as some of the disclosures are, that they might start a shift in attitudes; this gender power-imbalance needs to be challenged, and it needs to change.  

[fadingfartconnoisseur]

A Different 24 Hours in Philadelphia, My Former Least Favorite City

If you had a chance to revisit your least favorite city, would you go? Recently I got an interesting opportunity in my inbox. Booking.com invited me to visit my least favorite city for 24 hours and give it a second chance, staying in really nice accommodation and doing lots of nice activities.

I was intrigued, and I immediately knew the city to visit: Philadelphia.

I’ve been to Philadelphia somewhere around eight times. And while I don’t hate the city, I’ve never really liked it. It’s always felt small and dirty to me, short on attractions and limited in focus. As a native Bostonian, Philadelphia feels like it has all of Boston’s worst qualities but none of the best.

But I knew it had to be better. My sister loves it, to start, and so do many of my travel blogger friends. Additionally, almost all of my Philly visits were pre-blog; the lone visit post-blog was mainly hanging out in the suburbs with my friends Kelly Anne and Dave and only briefly venturing into the city. I’ve changed a lot as a person since then, and my travel style has changed significantly as well.

Plus, Philly is only 90 minutes away from New York by train. That is so close! How nice would it be if I had a city I loved that close by?

Switching to Holiday Mode

Booking.com has been researching how people can make their trips better by de-stressing in advance and planning for a relaxing trip. It’s all about taking care of your mind and body, getting yourself to a good place so you can see your destination at your best self.

For me, I didn’t want to end up with a self-fulfilling prophecy. I would genuinely go into Philadelphia with an open mind this time. I would take care of myself, I wouldn’t push too many activities, I would spend time outside and do lots of walking.

This would be different from my past trips. No cheesesteaks. No South Street. No Liberty Bell. No running up the steps of the art museum like Rocky. I would spend my 24 hours enjoying the city the way I wanted to.

By 5:30 PM, I was checked into my accommodation and I started the clock.

5:30 PM: Get settled in at ROOST Midtown

While a lot of people will head out right away, I think it’s important to take a moment and relax for a bit. Heading straight out after arriving is more likely to stress me out; I prefer to take a few moments of quiet solitude.

And what a place to enjoy that solitude.

ROOST Midtown is a condo-style hotel in Center City. It felt more like a private residence than a hotel and it was so big I could have done several cartwheels across the space.

This mid-century desk was the perfect spot to answer emails and get some last-minute work done.

Unusually, the bedroom didn’t have windows, but it did have an open loft to the living room which let in some natural light.

The bathroom was modern and stocked with adorable amenities.

This had all the pluses of an Airbnb — an apartment-like setup, self-catering facilities, laundry, and an awesome clubhouse on the roof — with none of the minuses, like having to coordinate being around at the same time so you can check in. I got the amenities I wanted with the privacy, discretion, and anonymity of a hotel’s front desk.

After a quick recharge, I headed out to explore.

6:30 PM: The Beautiful Streets Around Rittenhouse Square

Rittenhouse Square was a short walk away from my accommodation. This green space is one of the prettiest parks in Center City. But even better were the houses in the surrounding streets.

It amazed me how much the architecture varied in this neighborhood, yet how cohesive it was! There were moments when I felt like I was in Amsterdam, or Savannah, or even Harlem!

I’ve loved driving around and looking at fancy houses since I was a kid. Now that I’m grown, I still love walking around city neighborhoods and checking out the fabulous homes.

7:30 PM: Glass of Champagne

The secret to solo female travel confidence? Drink champagne. It immediately makes you the most interesting person in the room. I’m still shocked by how much that post resonated. Years later, girls still send me pictures of themselves drinking bubbly, saying, “Now I drink champagne just like you!”

Twenty Manning, with its elegant bar and dark wood tables, was a lovely restaurant for a pre-dinner drink.

8:30 PM: Tasting Menu at Talula’s Garden

I got a lot of recommendations for high-end Philly restaurants, mostly for high-end Israeli restaurant Zahav, followed by the French-influenced Laurel, but both were booked solid. Instead, I searched OpenTable and found Talula’s Garden, a restaurant specializing in local, seasonal cuisine.

I love eating local whenever possible, and seeking out local chefs’ takes on their region. (Even though New York local and Philly local is pretty much the same. Many of our local farms are in Pennsylvania!)

So how was it? OH MY GOD. This is one of the best meals I’ve had in recent memory. Seriously. And ten courses for $100 might sound crazy, but it was great value for food this good.

If you eat a la carte, my favorite dishes were the fried green tomato with smoked jalapeño, the seared scallop with smoky bacon and riddled cornbread, the grass-fed beef pappardelle bolognese, the “Jewel of Summer” soft cheese with peaches, and the blueberry apricot tarte tatin. I didn’t do the wine pairings but got a glass of white and a glass of red that the waitress recommended, as well as the included sparkling wine, and all three were spectacular.

As I left, my waitress told me, “I wish more women were like you — taking themselves out for a tasting menu, just because!”

“Oh, I’m actually a travel writer on assignment,” I said apologetically. “But I agree — women should! It’s something special to do for yourself!”

Talula’s Garden was easily the best thing I did in Philadelphia, and I recommend them highly.

11:00 PM: Cocktail at Hop Sing Laundromat

The entrance to this speakeasy is intimidating. Set in the middle of Chinatown behind a nondescript door, I got in line behind the one girl standing there and we waited for the door to open.

Finally, a Steve Harvey-looking dude poked his head out and demanded to know why we were there. “I’m here for my friend’s birthday party!” she yelped and was immediately let in.

“What about you?” he said with a glare.

“I — I just heard this was a good place!” I squeaked. “I just, you know, I’m alone but I thought it would be nice to check out, maybe have a cocktail…”

He sighed and let me in.

The girl and I were ordered to sit down and listen to the rules. Absolutely no photography. No bar photos, no selfies, no social media videos, no Instagram, and if you violated that, you would be kicked out immediately.

Got it.

The girl headed back to her group; I went to the bar, where there were only two chairs and I was the sole patron. Kind of weird for a Thursday night. I had a tasty gin and cucumber cocktail and briefly chatted with the bartender, but empty bars are a bit depressing when you’re solo, and I left after finishing the drink.

12:00 AM: Bedtime!

8:30 AM: Breakfast at Federal Donuts

I met up with my friend Dave for breakfast at Federal Donuts. (Do check out their website if you’re on a desktop — it’s hilarious!) This place is famous for tender, sweet donuts, and the fact that they serve them alongside fried chicken. If chicken and waffles makes so much sense, why not chicken and donuts?

To my dismay, chicken was not served until 11:00 AM, but the donut was no consolation prize. My peach cobbler donut was astoundingly fresh. I could have eaten another one right there.

9:15 AM: Coffee at Elixr Coffee Roasters

Coffee is always a priority for me, and I personally held off from getting coffee at Federal Donuts so I could enjoy an artisanal shop nearby. I decided to check out Elixr Coffee Roasters — a cool industrial space that catered to a wide variety of people. My flat white? Delicious!

10:15 AM: Mütter Museum

The strangest and most macabre attraction in Philadelphia is the Mütter Museum: a collection of medical abnormalities. You’ll find things like preserved diseased body parts and skeletons of all kinds, most of them deformed somehow. I love quirky and unusual museums, so this sounded like it could be fun.

I’ll be honest: I did not like this place. It was too disgusting for me. I had to actively suppress the urge to vomit the whole time.

But hey, don’t let that stop you. You might like it.

11:00 AM: Lavender Latte at Peddler Coffee

In my research I discovered that Peddler Coffee was a good midpoint between the Mutter Museum and the Barnes Foundation — and that they made a lavender latte with their own homemade lavender syrup. I’m still dreaming of the lavender spiced mocha I had in Savannah last year, so that was a must!

It was absolutely worth the stop. Definitely my favorite coffee of the trip.

12:00 PM: Barnes Foundation

This is an incredible collection of art. The Barnes Foundation is a stunning collection of art with a crazy history behind it. Dr. Albert Barnes amassed an incredible collection of art over the course of his lifetime and meant for it to be kept together in his home following his death; things did not go to plan. It’s the subject of the Netflix documentary The Art of the Steal.

There are tons of Matisses here, a handful of Picassos, a Van Gogh, some Renoirs, and hundreds of paintings by other artists, stacked up on top of each other in little rooms. I loved how it was structured — it felt far more intimate than most art museums.

Tip: get the app before you go! The Barnes Foundation has an audio guide that you can use on your phone.

1:45 PM: Reading Terminal Market

I’m surprised I missed Reading Terminal Market on all my Philly visits so far. This food market features dozens of food stalls hawking everything from Cajun eats to bakeries owned by the Amish.

(Tip: Please don’t photograph the Amish. Being photographed is against their beliefs. Though the women working here may be used to being photographed without their consent, that doesn’t mean that you should take advantage of that.)

The dish that came with the highest recommendation was DiNic’s roast pork sandwich, topped with sharp provolone and broccoli rabe. It’s been on lots of lists of “best sandwiches in America.” The verdict? Pretty good, but not life-changing by any stretch.

My friends warned me that the market would be super busy around lunch time, and they were right. It was a bit much for me.

3:00 PM: Philadelphia’s Magic Gardens

Artist Isaiah Zagar has dedicated himself to beautifying Philadelphia’s neighborhoods with his art since the 1960s. In the mid-90s, he began working on a lot on South Street, and in 2008, Philadelphia’s Magic Gardens were open to the public.

Today they are a beautiful place to wander, a place that hosts artistic events — and Instagram gold. My biggest surprise was that it wasn’t full of Instagrammers trying to get the perfect shot in every direction!

4:00 PM: Capogiro Gelato

I met up with Dave again for a gelato break! Capogiro‘s gelato isn’t like what I’ve had in Italy, but it was delicious nonetheless — incredibly creamy and smooth. Black Fig and Peaches and Cream were solid flavors.

4:45 PM: Browsing at Joseph Fox Bookshop

I’m always down to check out an independent bookstore. Joseph Fox Shop has an interesting array of books, including many from small presses I’ve never seen before. For a tiny place, they have strong sections on feminism, African-American studies, and cultural American studies.

I picked up a few essay collections by Roxane Gay and Zadie Smith.

5:30 PM: And that’s 24 hours!

That was my itinerary and it worked for me — but I should point out that this is a rushed itinerary for most people. I tend to sightsee very quickly when traveling solo and even for me this was a bit quicker than I would have liked to go.

Other than that, I was happy with how I spent my time.

Bonus Itinerary: Fishtown

Some of my favorite Philly experiences happened in the final evening after the 24 hours was up, so I’ll include them here:

That night I headed to Fishtown, which people are calling Philadelphia’s new hipster neighborhood. Truth be told, there were parts that looked exactly like Bushwick, Brooklyn.

I got dinner at the highly recommended Wm. Mulherin’s Sons (probably the worst restaurant name I’ve ever heard) and thoroughly enjoyed my double margherita pizza (regular mozzarella AND burrata!) and glass of lambrusco. The pizza was pillowy — an utter delight.

Next, I walked a few blocks down to ROOT to enjoy sparkling rosé with my lovely reader Maria and her friends Whitney and Naomi. Shortly after, my friend Jeff came to join us. ROOT is a fun wine bar with a great atmosphere in the heart of Fishtown.

The next morning, I headed to La Colombe for a gorgeous flat white before grabbing a Lyft and heading back to the train station. I’ve seen La Colombes in Boston and New York but I had no idea they were originally from Philly!

So how did I feel about Philadelphia this time around?

I enjoyed Philadelphia more this time around than I ever have before. Why? Because I visited on my own terms.

I’m no longer the 18-year-old who went to Philly with her glee club friends. I’m not going to visit a new city, have a group dinner at Cosí, take group photos in condom shops, and leave with new piercings. I like to think I’ve matured a bit since then.

Would I go back? Absolutely. I would come back for the food scene, the coffee, the wine, the cocktails, to stroll and enjoy the architecture, and to hang out in Fishtown. And especially to spend time with my friends.

I wouldn’t come back for the sights, though. While I loved the Barnes Foundation and enjoyed the Magical Gardens, I wasn’t overall impressed with Philadelphia’s sights. In fact, I found myself to be irritated by the crowds that swarmed the sights, much more so in other cities. Why is that? I’m not sure.

Philadelphia is so much better when you get off the beaten tourist path. If you haven’t been enjoying the city, perhaps that’s the problem. Go explore the cool neighborhoods and jump into the food scene. I think you’ll be surprised at what you find.

Essential Info: I stayed at ROOST Midtown, a condo-like apartment hotel in Center City. I loved the location, the spaciousness, and the clubhouse upstairs. This is a great option for accommodation in Philadelphia and I recommend it to others. Note that the sign on the building is discreet — they can’t put up a big sign because it’s a historic building. Google Maps sends you to the right spot. Rates from $162.

Talula’s Garden offers a ten-course tasting menu for $100 plus $50 for wine pairings; they’ll include a glass of sparkling wine and an espresso if you don’t do the pairings. They also offer à la carte menus.

Admission to the Mütter Museum is $18 for adults, $16 for seniors, $13 for youths and students, and free for children under 5.

Admission to the Barnes Foundation is $25 for adults, $23 for seniors, $10 on weekends and free otherwise for college students, $10 for youths, and free for children under 5.

Admission to Philadelphia’s Magical Gardens is $10 for adults, $8 for students and seniors, and $5 for children under 5.

I found it cheap and easy to get around Philadelphia using Lyft. Most rides cost around $6 before tip; to Fishtown and back was closer to $12.

This campaign is brought to you by Booking.com, who covered my stay in Philadelphia and monetarily compensated me. All opinions, as always, are my own.

Have you been to Philadelphia? What did you think?

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