#funny thing is I kinda did that thing AGAIN not that far back when I was like oh yeah any pronouns goes :) oh no it's they/them achtually

[spokelseskladden]

no but actually, when I was like 16 I decided to get in deep with the cult, like fanatically deep. Donating my entire allowance and dedicating myself to biweekly bible study deep. Mainly because I had deluded myself into thinking that if only I could become a perfect jehovah’s witness, god would heal my crippling gender dysphoria by either taking pity on me and simply give me a dick and testosterone for the low price of my freedom and dignity, or alternatively taking it away all together and let me live my life blissfully as a cis woman for all eternity in paradise. The latter never sounded appealing to me, and I’m not going to pretend that the blatant sexism within the cult wasn’t a part of it at all, but even if you removed it, I still didn’t particularly care for having tits. I did realize that the former alternative probably wasn’t likely to happen in the end, and that’s probably one of the big reasons I never could admit to actually just being a guy, even though it was kinda obvious. Cause when you know you can’t ever have something, it’s easier to pretend you never wanted it in the first place, lol

[esouliie]

DONT POKE THE BEAR.

– pairing | wanda maximoff x fem! reader

– synopsis | you’re known to be quite a tease, especially for your girlfriend, but what happens when you push her too far? will she be able to control herself or will you force her hand?

– warnings | smut, thigh riding, wanda wants to be your mommy hehe, strap on (r!receiving), orgasm denial duh, she eats it from the back :33, face slapping, crybaby reader again, wanda is kinda mean and punishes you ig but she’s so cute with it idc. (18+)

As you entered the room, you couldn’t help but freeze at the sight before you. There she was, the tall and intimidating woman you had grown so fond of, tucked snugly in bed with a book in hand. But what caught you off guard were the glasses perched on her nose – the nerdiest looking frames you had ever seen.

You felt a bubbling laughter rise within you, threatening to burst out uncontrollably. It wasn't just the glasses themselves, but the stark contrast they created against her usual, intense demeanor. You had never seen her in glasses before, and the image was both endearing and hilarious.

Struggling to contain your amusement, you approached your side of the bed cautiously, trying not to let on that you were on the verge of laughter. But a few giggles slipped and she looked up from her book, a hint of curiosity in her eyes, and you quickly composed yourself, managing to offer a sheepish smile instead.

“What's so funny?" She asked, raising an eyebrow inquisitively.

Unwilling to lie, you admitted, “you look like a nerd,” and unable to hide your amusement now, you laughed freely.

She was used to your teasing, your playful jabs that never fail to stir her up. In another universe, perhaps, she'd have you over her lap, your apologies tumbling out as you, painfully, realise the extent of your teasing and how mean it was to tease your mommy…

But in this universe, she couldn’t. Not until you were ready.

So she simply chuckled, “and you look like a goof,” eyes trailing down to between your legs, paying close attention to your underwear…

Your bow print underwear.

“Hey! I’ll have you know you loved this goofy apparel the other day.” You cocked your head to the side, stretching up on your knees so your vest rides higher, revealing the top of your underwear where a little pink flower resides, “You loved it so much, I believe you were unable to keep your hands off of me.”

You were obviously right.

Wanda had a thing for you in cute panties instead of sexy lingerie, seeing as stocking and garter belts were more her speed.

Ever the tease, you pulled the duvet off the woman, sending the book flying - as if you even cared - before straddling her warm thighs.

“Oh yeah?” She retorted unemotionally. She wasn’t going to give into your bratty behaviour, no matter how cute you looked on top of her.

“Oh yeah.” You replied mischievously, with a few rolls of your hips. But her hands had latched on before you could continue, halting all your attempts to turn her on.

“Not tonight.”

“Come on, nerd.” You whined, hands attempt to pry hers of your hips. “It’s not even late yet.”

Unmoving, she replied, “don’t call me that.”

“What? You are though.” You ran over her appearance once again, her red curls held high in a loose ponytail as her baby hairs flew abashedly in each direction.

So fucking cute and yet so sexy.

You leaned forward, chest brushing hers. “I mean, who would’ve thought the big, bad Scarlet Witch would need nerdy glasses.”

“What did I say, moya lyubov?” She warned but your fingers only toyed with the arms of her frames, forcing the lenses up and down with each push.

Your incessant need to push buttons drew you closer to a point of no return. Your girlfriend could only take so much more before she snapped.

“Aw is the little witch crying?” You fake cooed, hands playing with the ends of her hair, ready to pull as you deliver the final blow.

“Only a true nerd would get so upset about being called one.”

Pain heated her scalp as her neck was yanked back, but only for a second as you let go of the pressure. Her eyes flashed with a mixture of frustration and anger as she grabbed under your armpits, hauling your off her lap like a ragdoll before pinning your wrists above your head.

You felt a surge of fear mixed with a strange excitement as she held you in place, having pushed Wanda so much she’s actually snapped. No longer the collective, push-over girlfriend she had portrayed herself as.

“Are you stupid?” She spat, her entire weight resting upon your stomach. “You don’t listen, do you?”

Clearly unfazed by her words, you smile up at the woman, bucking your hips into her. “Well I guess not, Einstein.”

Even without much strength to it, the sound of the slap is loud. Your head ripped to the side as you gasped for air. Soon enough, you found yourself facing the woman above you. The offending hand now cupping your chin, as light fingers danced over your cheek, already turning red.

You went to speak but she shushed you, soft lips pressed over yours. “No more.” Is all she said but you understood what she meant, as you nod slowly.

No more lip tonight.

“I didn’t want to have to do that.” She brushed a few stray tears away, unbeknownst that you had even been crying. “But you were being bad, baby. Not my usual good girl.”

“I’m sorry.” You whispered, voice unsure of the situation you’re in. Wanda looked mad still, really mad, even though you were only joking around.

“I know, baby, but it’s not nice to be mean to me like that.”

“I was only joking…” You looked away, unable to stand her cold gaze any longer.

Her grip on your chin returned to bring your eyes back to hers. “And I told you to stop, didn’t I?”

You nodded weakly, feeling a knot forming in your stomach. You knew she was right, but you didn’t think you hurt Wanda that much. Not enough for her to slap you anyways.

She released her hold on you, moving back against the headboard before pulling you back onto her lap.

She watched you for a second, nothing your refusal to meet her eyes. You looked ashamed, but not too phased of the situation.

“You okay?” She asked, palms resting soothingly on your bottom.

“I’m okay.” You replied as you twirled her nightgown in your fist. “My cheek hurts though.”

“Good.” With that, she pulls you forward, starting a slow steady pace against her stomach, fingers groping, as you take the pleasure with gratitude.

You gasped at the friction, and Wanda chuckled when she felt the damp patch across your panties. “Oh. You liked that, didn’t you? Like when I hurt you, baby?”

Not knowing if she really wanted an answer, you nodded quickly. Hands holding tighter onto her shoulders as you try to speed up, but she moved you off her.

She stood up, leaving her glasses on her bedside table, working her way over towards the wardrobe. Looking over her shoulder, she said, “Now let’s see how you like to be teased.”

…

You’re sat on the edge of the bed, and Wanda stepped between your legs, the red dildo pressing against your chest as she strokes it like it was actually her own.

“Do you like it?”

“You know I was the one that bought it for you.” You couldn’t help but say with a playful eye roll, but she wasn’t having it. Her hand snaked around your neck, applying immediate pressure before you could even realise.

“Do you want another?” She asked coldly, referring to the red mark now prominent on your cheek.

Fearfully, you shake your head as much as she allows you. “Then stop with the attitude.”

Ignoring your mumbled apologies, she leaned down to kiss you wetly, forcing your mouth open as she shoves her tongue inside.

“Move up.” She pushed you back up the bed, crawling atop you. You sighed, raising your hands to cup Wanda’s breasts spilling from her night slip.

“You want this?” She asked, rocking her hips so the silicone rubbed against your sodden panties.

You licked your lips before circling her hardened nipple. with your thumb. “Yes. Please.”

“Good girl.” She rolled over, moving up to the head of the bed. She sat back, against her pillows and patted her thighs. “Come here.”

You followed her, hands grabbing onto her shoulders. “Like this?” You lifted a leg, straddling across her hips.

“No. Up here.” She removed your hands putting them up on the headboard. “Don’t touch me until I say so.”

Wanda noticed your hesitancy, your eyes solely focused on what’s between her legs. It was bigger than what you usually took.

She guided you to sit slowly, fingers pulling your underwear to the side, feeling yourself stretch around her as you gasped at the intrusion.

“Feels good, baby?” She asked and once again you’re left speechless, only capable of nodding your head stupidly. “Yeah? Your face says it all.”

You rocked your hips slightly, the pleasure all too consuming to stay still much longer.

Wanda chuckled at the state of you, fighting the urge to slap your bottom just to see your timid self jump.

“Come on. Just ride me baby.”

And you did. Your initial shyness long forgotten as you gripped the headboard tighter, and lifted yourself almost all the way off her cock, before bringing yourself back down. You quickly worked yourself up to a steady pace, head dropping low to kiss Wanda hard on the mouth.

She enjoyed the view, tits bouncing within the confinement of your vest, as her dick disappeared inside your swollen pussy. She pushed her thumb against your covered clit, your movement faltering for a moment at the added pressure, before feeling your orgasm start to take over.

“Don’t.”

You heard her say and your eyes snapped open.“What?”

“Don’t come. Stop.” She grabbed your hips, stopping you from moving.

“What? Why?” You asked breathless. You could feel yourself pulse around her, your orgasm fading from view as your body willed you to move, to chase it.

“I told you.” She pressed a kiss to your lips. “I’m going to tease you. Now, start again. Go slow.”

You whimpered softly and began riding her again, trying not to go too fast. You managed a good pace, each thrust at the same speed as you rocked against her.

“Ah. Slower.”

You huffed, halting all together, before thrusting into what felt like too slow of a motion to make you come. Besides, your thighs had started to burn as you kept moving at this pace for what felt like hours.

“Wanda.” You mumbled, unable to hold onto the headboard any longer, your arms wrap tight around her shoulders, wanting to feel the woman pressed close against you.

She didn’t give you permission to touch but couldn’t find it within herself to reprimand you when you’ve been listening to her so well.

She stroked your curls from your face. “That’s a good girl.” She cooed soothingly, “Such a good girl. Tell me what you want.”

“I want to come.” You said, voice akin to a whine.

She pressed a few kisses across your face, “You’re going to have to ask nicer than that.”

You made a sound, something between a laugh and a sob, as tears fell down your cheeks. “Please, Wanda.” You paused, sinking further down until she was all the way inside you.

“Keep moving, baby.” She pulled your hips forwards and backwards. “Like this. Nice and slow.”

“So beautiful.” She whispered into your hair, trailing more kisses across your face until she reached your lips.

Your pleas fell on silent ears for a while longer as Wanda worked you up to your limit. Not wanting to overstimulate you but just pushing enough to see how far she can go. How far she can push you into that little headspace she wants to keep you in. “Okay, baby. You need to do exactly what I tell you, okay?”

You hummed and she continued. “You need to get off me and go lay down on your stomach.”

It took a second for your brain to compute what she said, but you did so willingly, and your cunt ached at the feeling of being so empty.

“Good girl. Now, on your knees, I need to put a pillow under your hips.” To which you did, as Wanda positioned her pillow under you. You went to lay down, all too familiar with this position, but hands on your waist stopped you.

A warmth spread across you as Wanda licked up your ruined underwear. The white cotton stuck to you she could see the outline of your pussy so vividly. She moaned at the taste, and you whined embarrassingly loud, pushing your hips back into her face, hoping she’d let you come this time. But she pulled always, as the telltale signs of your orgasm come forth, and knocked you off balance, falling into the soft duvet under you.

“I’m sorry, baby. I couldn’t help myself.” She ran soothing hands up and down your back, before pulling your underwear off of you.

She didn’t want to keep you waiting much longer, deciding two denials was enough for your first time.

“You taste so good, but I want you to come on my cock, okay? I promise Im going to let you come this time.”

You mumbled an okay and she took that as the initiative to slide into you. She slowly pulled out and drove back in, in a swift, hard motion, eliciting a loud, surprised moan from you. She repeated this for a little while, watching her dick disappear inside you, only pulling out to thrust back in with vigour, each time causing a moan to escape your lips.

“Please. Faster.” You managed to say and she took pity.

“Okay, baby. No more teasing.” She began thrusting vehemently into you, her own groans mixing with yours as the toy applied pressure to her nerves. Noticing how your body trembled, she leaned forward, the position allowing her to move deep inside your walls, as she boldly swiped her tongue over the shell of your ear, lightly biting the lobe.

One hand moved from beside your head, distributing some of her weight to your lower back as she sat up, the shift causing her to fuck up into the front of your walls.

“Come for me.”

To her surprise, you didn’t come right away. Your body too concerned with what felt like electric shocks as you thrashed under Wanda’s body.

Words melted into nothing as they were cut off by a strangled cry, tears streaming down your face onto the bed.

She turned you over, careful not to pull out as you’d clamped down on her, as she descended upon your lips. “Oh, my good girl.” Her lips moved up over your eyes, “You did so good for me.”

You chose to use what little energy left to wrap your arms around Wanda, pulling her flush to your body as you shook through the after waves.

She whispered sweet nothings as her fingers run upon and down your side until you calmed down.

“You okay, baby? You need anything?”

You hummed, exhaustion evident in your voice. “No, that was fun.” You kissed her lips, playfully poking your tongue at her.

“But you’re still a nerd.”

She scoffed but rolled over, not missing the way your grimace as she pulled out.

“I should’ve slapped you harder.” She mumbled, as she quickly discarded the toy, pulling the duvet over you both, fearing sleep would come quick with how long you guys had been at it.

Oh well, she’d just have to teach you a lesson some other day.

[phas3d]

Crushing on You || Slytherin Boys

type :: fluff

tw/cw :: none

contains :: draco malfoy, tom riddle, mattheo riddle, theodore nott, lorenzo berkshire

summary :: cute little loser things they do because they’re so down bad for you. inspired by the fucking masterpiece that is ONE DAY ONE NIGHTTTT AHHHHHH by bts ofc. some of these might be creepy but I think they’re cute

DRACO MALFOY

It’s always an enemies to lovers for him, he literally cannot get crushes on someone unless he hates their guts

Probably cause he got daddy issue but meh, we’re not solving that today

He HATED your guts, he has literally thought of getting a hit-man on you before

You’re his rival in every single aspect, even more than Harry is

Academics, you’re better

Athletics, you’re better

Clubs and community, you’re WAY better

He hates you and makes fun of you every single day and time he gets the chance

Even worse, Harry, Hermione, and Ron all come to defend you which makes him even more mad

But overtime, his aggressive staring and cursing under his breath turned into admiration

It all started when one day during Quidditch practice, some annoying 3rd year thought it would funny to mess with Draco’s broom

He ended up malfunctioning during practice, almost speeding into the walls of the school at astounding speeds

But luckily, you came just in time and yanked him off his broom, letting his broon get destroyed into the castle. But he was unharmed and was wrapped securely in your arms

From then on, he’s had a huge crush on you and all of his hatred turned into admiration

His aggressive stares were a bit softer and his insults had a hidden compliment in it

Everyone thinks that maybe he just feels bad and is finally regretting how rude he’s been to you, which is kinda true

He’s always watching over you, kinda like a stalker (because he is one)

He learns your daily routine, your favorite foods, clothing brands, makeup products, skincare routine, everything

Goes as far to hire and pay different students to watch after you if he’s busy

Somehow, you never notice and just think that people are nosy

He takes his research really far though, like straight up creepy

Draco gets his hands on all of your medical history, every single thing about you

He learns what your allergic too, what your rising sign is, how much you weigh at every check up

When he finds out that you’re anemic, he crushes up pills and sneakily adds it to your food to make sure you’re healthy

Does this with other things too, like Vitamin C, iron pills, etc etc etc

But in the end, it helps you a lot and makes you feel much better

And it makes him happy to know that you’re better because of him

One day, you get asked out by none other than Harry Potter

Instantly, Draco is enraged and everything in his sight is going to die a painful death

He feels betrayed by you despite treating you like utter shit for so many years

Not the mention he’s also gotten with maybe two or three other girls

He plans to ruin your date and he succeed

He burns Harry’s outfit, posses someone to spill hot tea on you, and even goes as far to sneak food you’re allergic to into your food

The date ends with you crying back to your dorm and Harry beating himself up

From this, Draco is happy and prepares to come and play knight-in-shining armor for you

But once again, he sees Harry comforting you and giving you a tight hug

Draco is literally about to kill Harry for this, cause ain’t no way he just did ALL of that for Harry to swoop in again

“You can’t take her! I loved her first! I love her more than your stupid four-eyed could ever!” He shouts at Harry

So yeah…. He just confessed out of rage

TOM RIDDLE

Never ever EVER will he get caught lacking for someone

This man keeps all of his lovey dovey feelings to himself, bro literally got a diary 😭

But when he saw you, and just like all of those dumb movies he’s seen, he was instantly love struck by you

He never knew that this was possible, he’s instantly disgusted with himself and does his best to the diminish the crush

But it won’t go away… you’re just perfect in every way

He’s so frustrated that he genuinely thinks of just killing you

But, thank GOD, he decides to not kill you and just become a stalker 😊

He finds out your entire schedule and walking path just so he can get small glimpses of you

Whenever you see him or make eye contact with him, he looks at you like you killed his entire family and he’s coming for revenge

But he’s actually drooling and hearing the most beautiful classical piano in the background

He sees you as a god/goddess that blessed him with your presence

Tom has always seen himself as the chosen one, the one given enough power to destroy and fix the world

And he sees you as his future Queen to the brand new world he will make :) kinda romanticccc

Finds all of your social media and stalks it for hours

He makes one of those fake burner accounts that looks like a bot

So when he follows you, you think nothing of it

But in reality, he’s watching you in depth

Bro finds your SPOTIFY and YOUR AO3 ACCOUNT… That’s how crazy he is

He made an entire playlist of every song you’ve ever posted and mentioned

He listens to it daily :)

Honestly, he’s just like me fr

He’s just a lil crazy and wants to know EVERYTHING about you

If you ever come up to him or are assigned partners, oh my god he’s gonna act so cold

Acts like he hates your guts and despises your existence

But in reality, he’s gonna thank every single religious figure out there for blessing him with allowing him to be in your space

MATTHEO RIDDLE

When he first saw you, he thought you were fine as hell

He was just trying to get into your pants

But when he tried to make a move, you scoffed and shoved him away

Instantly, he was attracted to you

He’s only been rejected like twice, and both times it ended with them begging on their knees for him

He was about to do the exact same thing to you

Unlike the others, he’s the only one that shows it and actively makes a move

Constantly flirts with you, no matter the time or day

Kinda like Filipino courtingggg 🤭

Finds all of your classes and walks you to all of them

Even though you want to walk with your friends, he won’t let you and always pulls you away from them

He skips his classes constantly just so he can be with you and flirt with you more

Even if you keep rejecting him or even slap him, he won’t stop. He loves when girls play hard to get

Sends you flowers, they’re a little bit ugly, but it’s the thought that counts

Sends you chocolates and stuffed animals to the point where a whole section of your dorm is dedicated to the pile of 65 stuffed animals you’ve received

He can’t really write poems or love songs, but he sends you little drawings that are barely readable

He makes little stick figures to represent you guys, one that’s super tall with abs (him) and another one that has hair and a triangle body (you)

Although you can barely understand his chicken scratch drawings, it makes you giggle from how stupid they are

Sometimes it’s him fighting off dragons, or you drowning and he saves you, or him being a rich king and you’re his queen

Never ever gives up on you, no matter what

Will fight off every single competition he has, he doesn’t care if they end up paralyzed

One time, someone older than you guys by one year tried to ask you out

Because he was a grade above you guys, he thought Mattheo wouldn’t fight him

But nopppeeee he was dead wrong, Mattheo sent him to the hospital wing repeatedly for a whole month

Even though the poor guy learned his lesson, Mattheo was mad that not only did he have the balls to ask you out but to also doubt Mattheo’s strength

Surprisingly, he cares a lot towards your friends as well and never leaves him out of the picture which is sweet

If you get a 100 roses from him (an almost daily occurrence), then he’ll get your best friends a small bouquet of 10-12 roses in return

If you get a huge chocolate box of the most expensive chocolates, then your friends get a small little wrapped box of a few chocolates

It’s really sweet and it makes your friends see that he’s actually pretty cool and sweet

Definitely goes around and lies to people by saying you two are dating

Eventually, everyone is fucking tired of you guys and basically sees you as a couple

One day, your friends say they’re gonna have a girls day and ask you to meet them at this nice restaurant

But surprise! The girls lied, you got all dressed up for nothing :(

But surprise again! Mattheo pops up. Your friends set you up with him to help you two to finally start dating

THEODORE NOTT

He’s had plenty of one night stands, weird situation-ships, and more but with you, he’s never had that

You’ve been his friend for ages, before he got hot and ripped

And he appreciated you a lot for that, he felt like he could finally be himself with someone

Over the years, he’s slowly gotten more and more comfortable with you

When he was going to bed, he thought to himself “I wouldn’t mind marrying (y/n)”

He smiled as he said that, about to sleep until his eyes shot wide open as he repeated what he said

“I wouldn’t mind marrying (y/n)??!???!!?”

When he realized he likes you, he’s a complete idiot

Normally with girls, he’s super smooth and charismatic - but that’s only because he’s trying to get into their pants

With you, you knew all his tactics and how awful of a person he can and HAS been over the years

You’ve seen him cheat, yell, and sometimes be borderline abusive to his past girlfriends

He starts to worry about how you perceive him and wants to make sure he seems like a good option

He becomes so awkward around you, it’s painful

Starts to be way nicer to you than he ever has been and becomes a lot more chivalrous

He takes off his jacket and shields you from rain, if anyone teases you he’ll get really defensive, he spoon feeds you at times, always pays for your lunch and dinner

Even goes as far as to take you on shopping sprees with no limit - even if you say no he’ll just keep track of everything you look at and buy it for you

Gets you flowers every week and always excuses it as “this is what best friends always do”

You two are basically dating… just without an official title

He’s TERRIFIEDDDD to ask, he’s literally had break downs over his fear of you rejecting him

Please just confess to him yourself, I’m not sure when he’ll get the balls and confidence to do it

LORENZO BERKSHIRE

He’s the most sane out of all of them all 😭

Literally the one line from Taylor Swift, “in a world of boys he’s a gentleman” AHAAAAHHHHH

He gets a crush on you after you two are partnered for a long term project

Loves how smart and dedicated you are, it inspires him to be the same way

Sometimes he purposely acts dumb just so that you’ll help him

Always pays attention to the small details and everything you do

Spoils you ROTTEN omg

Will take you out to go shopping with him and he whips out his black card and casually drops 25k just on clothes and makeup for you

He loves the feeling of spoiling you, makes him feel like your future husband

Praises you for everything, even the bare minimum

“Woah! I like your outfit!” And you’re literally wearing the required school uniform

He wants to date you and call you his own, but he knows he’s a fuck boy deep down

Every time he’s dated a girl, he’s ended up breaking up with them because he can’t commit or just straight up cheating on them

He’s very confident that he could change and be better, but he wants to be perfect before he dares you

Because he sees you as perfect :”) and you only deserve the best

You help motivate him to become better, even though you didn’t know you did

Starts going to the gym, works harder in school, tries to be more nice to everyone

Eventually, he’ll get the guts to ask you out for the Yule ball but he’ll keep saying you’re going as “friends”

But one day you’ll overhear him and his group talking about how fat of a crush he has on you

They all tease him and call him a simp, loverboy, everything

But when he sees that you’ve been listening the entire time, he’s so reddddd

Tries to hide his face and runs away, he avoids you for a little bit

He’s so so so scared of not being good enough or even ruining his relationship with you

He’d genuinely be okay with just being your best friend for all his life whilst loving you, even though it would hurt him so badly

Please just accept this boy 🙏 tell this man he’s enough and that you love him

read more here! :D

[cozage]

Hi hope you are having a good day

I wanted to know what would it be like if, Mihawk, Shanks and Buggy had a female s/o that was basically like inosuke from demon slayer, they are a bit dumb but will pick a fight with everyone, and they only wear a bandaged top with like shorts or smt.

You guys have been asking me lots of questions and making me feel loved so here is this!!! (And maybe more spicy things to come later this week 👀)

Characters: female reader x Mihawk, Shanks, Buggy Wordcount: 850 CW: the last bullet point in all of them that are a little spicy

She’s Kinda Stupid, but…

Mihawk

This man is literally so tired. He’s so tired. 

Will very often say things like “I didn’t know I was in charge of three children.” (yes Perona and Zoro are his CHILDREN okay) or “Are you acting your age today, or are we pretending you’re six years old again?” or “I’ve met dogs more behaved than you.” (it’s all coming from a place of love and he knows you won't take offense because you don’t take offense to anything)

You’re a brat and he knows it (and loves it). He loves you but god you are so much work when the two of you are out in public. He feels like he can’t take his eyes off you or you’ll end up in a fight with some random guy because he looked at you funny. 

Most of the time he doesn’t acknowledge your shenanigans. When you fight with someone, he’ll grab your wrist and physically pull you away from them, usually with some kind of snide remark. 

Sometimes you’re justified, though. And when that happens, he gives the guy who wronged you five seconds to apologize before he sets you loose. Most of the time the guy sees Mihawk and apologizes, but the swordsman secretly hopes the guy won't apologize. And on the few occasions they don't apologize, he smirks as he releases you. 

He always has to pull you off the guy because you just don't know when to stop. In all truthfulness, it kind of gets him hot and bothered, but he always pretends to be irritated. “You’re psychotic. Do I need to teach you how to behave?” he scolds, his gold eyes scanning your body. “I can think of a few ways to get you to listen.”

Shanks

Shanks adores you. Cheers you on. Loves watching you cause absolute chaos. Why? Because you are him without a conscience. 

Shanks knows when he needs to flip the switch from polite to fight, but you don’t. You are always at 100%, your most authentic self 24/7. And he absolutely adores that about you. Even if that means that sometimes you take it a bit too far. 

Sometimes Shanks will even use your emotions to his advantage. “Can you believe that guy just did that?!” or “Talk about rude!” knowing full well you’re ready to throw down whoever wronged you or him. 

The absolute only time that Shanks will stop you from fighting someone is when you all are in a building. He’s had to pay SO MANY owners back for you destroying glassware and furniture and plenty of other damaged goods. You learned pretty quickly that the first words out of your mouth should be “Wanna take this outside?!” because if you were outside then Shanks didn’t stop you. 

The first few fights, he watched carefully, making sure he would be able to jump in if he needed to. The next couple of fights, he watched you with an amused look, excited to see how you were going to beat up the guy (and just to make sure you would win). Nowadays, he doesn’t even feel the need to go outside with you, but sometimes he does just to cheer you on. 

After your victory, he always rewards you with a bunch of kisses and sings your praises. He pulls you onto his lap at the bar, making sure everyone knows you're his. “You did so well. I loved how you stomped that guy into the dirt,” he’ll coo, dotting kissing across your neck. “How about later I show you just how proud I am of you, okay?”

Buggy

You never cease in stressing this man out. He is always on high alert now because of you. 

Stealth missions? Forget it. Normal day in town? Absolutely not. He BEGS you to be a normal human being in public. To have an ounce of self preservation. But you cannot comprehend that. People who talk shit deserve to get hit.

He is constantly running after you, screaming at you to stop fighting people for no reason. Sometimes he’ll even jump in front of your punches to try and de-escalate it (which of course doesn’t work and results in you just punching him in the face). You don’t even feel bad, you just scream at him to get out of the way and beat up the other guy even more since he made you hurt your boyfriend.

If anyone makes fun of him, he doesn’t even have a chance to scream at them anymore. You’re already pounding their face into the ground. And every time you do, he falls in love with you a little bit more. 

“That’s right, that’s my baby!” he screams, watching you smugly walk away from some guy’s beaten body. “Let’s go celebrate, you can do whatever you want.” He grabs your hand, practically pulling you back to the ship.

[hazbinwhoree]

I feel like adam would be the type to pull pranks, so may I request an adam x sensitive!reader, where Adam pulls a prank a little too far?

Too Far

A/N: The song is Work Song by Hozier, I am a slut for Hozier.

The thing about Adam is that he was a damn good actor. That mixed with his love for pranks was a lethal combination.

Poor (Name) was often the victim of his pranks, but today he went a little too far. He hid his guitar and then accused (Name) of misplacing it.

Watching her flounder and stutter and insist she hadn’t taken it was funny at first. “I know it wasn’t me, so where the fuck did you put it?” Adam raised his voice and suddenly, it wasn’t funny anymore. Tears welled up in (Name)’s eyes.

She burst out crying. “I didn’t take it,” she sobbed. “Please, why don’t you believe me, I wouldn’t do anything to your guitar.”

Well shit. Adam hadn’t meant to make her genuinely upset. He just wanted to make her a little frustrated.

“Fuck, baby, don’t cry. Shit. It was a joke, I know where my guitar is.”

(Name) gasped for air. “Why would you do that?” She sounded so hurt and betrayed that Adam swore she’d never be the subject of one of his pranks ever again.

“I’m so sorry…”

He went to approach her but she shrunk back. “Leave me alone,” she whimpered, turning around and running off to her room.

Adam felt like a piece of shit.

He gave (Name) space for a while, but when he checked back twenty minutes later and could still hear sniffling through the door, he knocked lightly. “(Name)? Honey?” The sniffling stopped and he was answered with silence.

Ten minutes later, he came back with his guitar. He sat outside her door, his back against it and began gently strumming his guitar. The crying stopped and he could tell she was listening.

“Boys workin’ on empty

Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat?

I just think about my baby

I’m so full of love I could barely eat.”

He felt the light thump of (Name) leaning against the other side of the door.

“There’s nothing sweeter than my baby

I’d never want once from the cherry tree

‘Cause my baby’s sweet as can be

She give me toothaches just from kissin’ me.”

There’s still silence on the other side of the door, but Adam can tell she’s listening and can feel her anger and sadness waning.

“When my time comes around

Lay me gently in the cold dark earth

No grave can hold my body down

I’ll crawl home to her.”

Finally, the door opened a crack and (Name) peered out. “I love that song,” she mumbled.

“I know.”

(Name) opened the door wider and Adam stood, putting his guitar down. “I’m sorry babe, that was a mean joke.” “No shit,” (Name) grumbled. Adam opened his arms questioningly. (Name) seemed to consider it for a moment before fully opening the door and stepping into Adam’s arms.

Adam sighed in relief, holding (Name) tightly. “No more pranks,” (Name) said, muffled in his chest. “No more pranks,” Adam agreed.

“I am actually sorry, sugar tits.”

(Name) rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, I know.”

[gay-dorito-dust]

ok what if reader is also a vigilante?

reader and Jason met in their civilian identities, and after a while they start dating. but like, neither of them tells the other one about their vigilante identities? and then something random happens and they both find out in a funny way?

(alsooo can I be 🐈‍⬛? :3)

Idk if this is considered ‘funny’ but I tired, oh and Yes, you may be 🐈‍⬛ anon. 🦦

When you first met Jason in the cosy book store, you were far too concerned with keeping your stint as a vigilante as close to a secret as possible, so much so that the mere aspect of dating wasn’t something you contemplated on a day to day basis; Never less dating a civilian when you’re fighting street level thugs. However you couldn’t help but get lost in the beauty of his smile, his eyes and the way he ran his hand through his hair.

All you were aware in that moment was that Jason is just perfection in a six foot something frame. He was just that beautiful that you couldn’t find yourself looking away from him, ever; It had to be illegal to be that beautiful.

When Jason first met you in the cosy book store, trying to reach for a book that was just out of reach, he was far too concerned about the new vigilante that had taken to the street of Gotham. Nightshade was their name and they obviously had natural talent but were still sloppy in some areas, but they showed enough promise in their debut outing to be apart of the Outlaws. Dating was the last thing he needed honestly, despite affection, loyalty and love were something he deeply longer for more so then anything, however he felt a little tempted by the idea when you gave him a look of gratitude as he handed you the book was enough to set him alight.

‘Jason.’ He blurted.

‘Come again?’ You asked.

‘My name. It’s Jason.’ He clarified, internally cursing himself for making himself looking like a right idiot in front of you, but you just had that effect on him and it hadn’t even been ten minutes upon meeting you. Was he really that depraved? He asked himself as in that very moment you decided to smile at him, which gave him his answer that yes, he was indeed that depraved for a genuine connection. ‘Well it’s nice to meet you Jason. I’m y/n.’ You greeted, finding Jason absolutely endearing and insufferably cute. ‘Do you often help people with books or is it just a one time thing?’ You then asked, holding the book close to your chest, biting the inside of your cheek.

‘I don’t come here as often as I promised myself I would, so consider this as a rare occurrence.’ Jason shrugged, leaning against the shelf. ‘So do you come here often or are you a fellow procrastinator?’ You chuckled and Jason has to pat himself on the back for that one. He managed to make you laugh and god did it sound ethereal. ‘I’m kinda a fellow procrastinator but that’s because I’ve been busy with life and such.’ You told him, not wanting to admit to everything to a conventionally attractive man you’ve just met at a small, run down book store just yet; You didn’t want to fuck this up for yourself.

‘Oh yeah? Then maybe if you come here more often, I’ll have more of a reason to stop by other than the books.’ Jason said and you felt your smile even wider and tighten your grip on the book, casting your eyes to the floor. Curse this beautiful man for making you feel like a silly little schoolgirl either way a crush, it was both embarrassing as it was all consuming. ‘Sounds like you’re asking me on a date, mr Jason.’

Jason shrugs. ‘Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. I mean is it wrong for me to want to get to know you better?’

‘I guess it wouldn’t hurt.’ You admitted.

‘So it’s a date?’ Jason asked, anticipating your answer.

‘Yeah. It’s a date.’ You replied, feeling a warmth flood through your body, followed by a feeling of nervousness simultaneously it was hard to figure out which feeling you should focus on.

Several book store dates, skirting your obvious feelings for one another and moving into his apartment later, you and Jason were officially a couple: and a happy one at that. And yet despite sharing everything to one another, every deep secret you’ve ever kept in your entire life and yet the one secret neither of you chose to disclose was your vigilante identities, and for simple and justifiable reasons on both your parts; You didn’t want Jason to be brought into the crossfire as a casualty and Jason didn’t want you to get hurt because of the dangerous people he wronged as RedHood. You’ve both hated yourselves for keeping a tight lid on your vigilantism but you knew it was for the betterment of the other, after all ignorance was indeed -on some occasions- bliss.

However on this very night, everything you and Jason have ever hidden from the other had decided to come to light but not in a way that’d either of you were expecting.

You and Jason were cuddled up on the couch and enjoying a peaceful evening in together, seeing as for a week straight both of you have had your hands full with capturing and clearing the streets of Gotham of thugs, goons and drug dealers, and actually getting the golden opportunity to act like an ordinary couple and shower the other in the love and affection that you’ve both been aching for the entire week.

‘You need to get some better sleep Jaybirdie, I can see dark bags starting to form under your eyes.’ You mutter softly as you run your calloused thumbs under his eyes, naturally concerned for his health and well-being. ‘Are you saying that I’m not that appealing to look at anymore because I’m developing eye bags? How shallow of you babe.’ Jason joked as he moved his face from your hands and looking away from you with a pout on his lips.

You laughed, reaching to hold his face in your hands again and gently made him look at you. ‘Stop being dramatic my little Jay bird, I think you make eyes bags work for you but I just don’t like the idea of you staying up longer than you should.’ You said as you kissed his lips and then under his eyes, feeling him hum in content as he dragged you into him tightly. ‘I appreciate the compliment babe.’ He said as he pressed a kiss to your head, closing his eyes as he breathed you in deeply. ‘I’m sorry we haven’t had enough time with each other lately.’

You burrowed yourself deeper into him, hands clutching at his shirt. ‘it’s okay Jason and besides I should sorry too because there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while now. I hope you don’t hate me afterwards.’ You admit, scared that this might break your beautiful relationship with the sweetest man you’ve ever met, who had been nothing but unquestionably loyal to you through and through. ‘You could do no wrong pretty baby,’ Jason cooed, ‘but since we’re sharing things, I have something that I’ve been keeping from you also sweetheart.’ Jason said as he feared that he’d only be scaring you away afterwards and he can only hope that you’d stay and hear him out.

‘No, Jason you don’t-‘ you were cut off by the sound of two emergency alerts going off from your shared bedroom and before leaping off of Jason’s lap, much to his displeasure and worry, and rushed towards the bedroom with Jason hot on your heels going on about something you couldn’t quite make out over the noise of the emergency alerts. It was rare that it goes off and when it does, it’s when someone like scarecrow or Joker has made a reemergence to the public and when they do, nothin good ever comes to pass.

Within the depths of your shared closet in your bedroom were two equal sized duffel bags. Inside these duffel bags held everything to do with your vigilante personas that you and Jason had hastily shoved inside, and all before you officially moved into his apartment too. You never touched his out of respect for him and he never touched yours out of respect also, you both knew which one belong to who as they also sat just beneath your own civilians clothes, that and the fact that Jason’s duffel bag was a lot more beat up and rugged compared to yours which only had slight wears and tears; but other then that it was relatively a new bag.

Right of this moment however you didn’t stop to think about which bag you’ve picked up because before you knew it you had locked yourself within the bathroom, just about ready to change into your attire, when you were face to face with a familiar red helmet causing you to freeze in place. While you were trying to grasp the idea that your beautiful, beautiful Jason was the ruthless RedHood, a knock on the bathroom door broke you from your thoughts, and you automatically knew that Jason saw your vigilante attire and was feeling a similar sort of confusion towards you as you were about him. You placed the red helmet back into the duffle bag, zipped it shut before unlocking and opening the door wide enough for Jason to hold out your duffel bag towards you.

‘I believe this is yours sweetheart.’ He said awkwardly.

‘Thank you Jaybirdie.’ You mutter as you took the bag off of him, placing it down on the toilet seat as you picked up his duffel bag and handed it to him through the gap in the doorway. ‘I believe this belongs to you.’

‘Thank you sweetheart.’ Jason replied as he took the bag off of your hands as an uncomfortable air of silence followed as you both stood on either sides of the door, not knowing how to properly address the situation. Until… ‘I knew I recognise that ass in spandex anywhere.’

‘JASON!’ You exclaimed, face becoming flushed.

‘What? It’s true you’ve got a distinctly shaped ass! So of course I’m going to recognise it!’ Jason replied, throwing his hands up in the air.

‘So you’ve admitted to staring at my ass like a perv?’ You asked, crossing your arms over your chest.

Jason pushed the bathroom door open fully to get closer to you and hold your face in his hands. ‘Don’t start acting like you haven’t stared at my ass like a perv, perv.’ He says with a chuckle upon seeing the expression upon your face, pressing kisses from your forehead and all the way down to the tip of your nose. ‘I thought you wouldn’t notice.’ You murmur softly, making Jason laugh as he lead you out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, where he then sat you down on the end of the bed and held your hand.

‘Well unfortunately for you, I do notice and I can’t say I don’t like the attention that I’d get for my charming parent.’ Jason says as he kisses the back of your hand. ‘You’re not mad that I’m a vigilante and have been keeping it from you all this time?’ You asked, running your thumb over his hand. ‘No because it would be quite hypocritical if I did because I’ve been keeping the same secret hidden from you also. Would you be mad at me being RedHood?’ Jason asked and you immeditly replied ‘no because I know you did so to keep me safe.’

‘Ans I know that you didn’t tell me for the exact same reason.’ Jason butted in. ‘Now that we know however, this just means that we’re even more of a kick ass couple because we literally kick ass every night and I couldn’t be more prouder of you baby.’ He add as he presses kisses to your face, making you chuckle before pulling away. ‘But that doesn’t mean I won’t stop worry about my baby. So expect a whole lot of team ups in the future okay chipmunk?’ You pressed a kiss to his cheek before stealing one from his lips as you stood up from the bed, tugging at his arm. ‘Why don’t we start teaming up now? RedHood and Nightshade, they’ll never see us coming by a long shot!’ You said and Jason couldn’t help but smile at your excitement as he then stood up, groaning dramatically. ‘Alright, alright, quick pulling my arm and get changed so we can go catch us some bad guys.’

You beamed brightly as you stole another kiss from his lips. ‘I love you Jaybirdie.’

‘The things I do for you buttercup.’ Jason spoke against your lips as he kisses you again.

[ramshacklerumble]

honestly one of the biggest questions i had in regards to vice housewarden deuce was: so is the hat a vice thing or a trey thing?

and once again consulting my lil circle of friends, i landed on it actually being a cater thing. trey’s whole thing is that he doesn’t like to stand out or be noticed so i thought it was funny that he just walked around with a hat when no one else did. the thought was cater was who suggested trey wore a hat so people could tell he’s was vice, trey objected, but in the very few bets trey has ever lost against cater he winds up wearing the hat.

deuce continues the legacy, believing the hat was just part of the uniform. he doesn’t realize this isn’t the case until the seniors drop back around when the sdc is back and trey has to break it to him. at that point tho, it’s already become a thing, and deuce continues to wear the hat.

that aside, the way deuce became vice was pretty simple. ace asked him to. in regular ace fashion though, he went: well, who ELSE was i gonna ask? it’s not like i gotta lotta options.

but we all know that even if he did, deuce would’ve been his choice anyway.

i mentioned in the tags of the previous post that deuce is constantly on ace’s ass over his housewarden duties— but unlike ruggie and jamil who ran around doing everything for their housewardens— deuce simply enforces. deuce holds him accountable. and this is generally what deuce does in the grand scheme of the dorm as well.

when ace gives an order, deuce ensures this is carried out and he’s rather good at it. it’s something i wanna explore more during his sophomore year as by the time he’s a junior i feel deuce is far more at peace with who he is and how he uses his past experiences, but because deuce is far more empathetic and willing to be more open with others, dorm members find themselves listening to deuce more than they do ace. (i have a trio of triplet ocs who only exclusively listen to deuce, even when riddle was still around, and it’s because deuce had come to accept his hotbloodedness and learned how to use it to connect with others.)

deuce is aware he doesn’t have the sharp wit ace does or the commanding presence riddle did, but his interpersonal skills are leagues beyond.

he’s more at ease with letting his more passionate side come out when he needs to put his foot down and he’s a fantastic motivator. while he might be second in command, i like the idea of junior year really honing his leadership skills that he eventually takes with him when he sets his sights on the arcane response unit. you can pry high ranking a.r.u officer!deuce from my cold dead hands :)

gently tagging @mundaneasphyxia since you asked so nicely lel this wasn’t going to be a subject i dwelled much on as it’s kinda just part of hashing out timelines for my ships and stuff but like hey if anyone else wants to ask bout anything they’re curious about regarding this go right ahead i guess

[bnuuyteethh]

Hi! I'm Bunny and I'm redesigning the whole cast for hazbin hotel

{PLS READ THE WHY SECTION BELOW}

Anyway.... Onto my designs! I'll be detailing the stuff I changed/added

First is.,..!! Sir pentious! Weird right? You would think it's Charlie but uh nah, he's my favorite character and I wanted to make him similar to my tastes.

Yes he is trans! I have a small little HC that the egg boys are his boys...

And he is much longer/bigger due to this because of sexual dimorphism! But we love him for who he is now he's so silly :). He also has a barbed tail that I would say is used as a 5th hand! To grab stuff. He already has 4 arms cause why not? He needs to push himself around already..

Next is.. Angel Dust!, he doesn't have an alt version because I feel it's not needed but here he is!

I added pedipalps, those are the mandible looking things. They are a part of spiders I think are so cool and I wanted to add them! Unfortunately they're not counted as legs and adding another set of legs to angel I couldn't figure out... But good enough!

I also changed his eyes! To include a spiderweb, I'm not entirely sure why he has that black eye, so I thought I would change it up a little bit.

A friend gave an idea that his sight from that eye is kaleidoscope-like so I'm implementing that too! And how could I forget! The spiderbutt! Without it it's kinda weird looking so I wanted to add it in cus it's so cute

Next up.... Husk! He's one of my favorite characters so.. kinda went all out on him

I didn't change much about him besides his patterns and colors, but generally his silhouette is the same!

I wanted to add a lot more feathers and fluff to him! And putting on the casino style bringing back the spades and hearts to his wings again!

I thought the spades were funny

Up next.. Vox!

I found his design interesting that he is a flat screen TV even though he died in the 50's? So I decided to change that! Turning him into a box TV again!

And giving him a cable tail, I thought it would be clever that when sleeps he charges himself up for the day!

Next up... niffty! She's the last character I've designed so far!

Also while looking up her historically accurate date I found out she's 22??? Weird... But yeah she did end up looking a little older here I'm glad, but I really wanted to give her a bigger needle! What's she gonna do with that small thing?

And her dress is based on 50's maid outfits! With the addition of an embroidered poodle!

.

Why?

Well first I'm crazy and second, I've been now made aware that the show itself does a certain type of representation so disgustingly that I'd rather make my own designs and fix what they couldn't do.

I don't support viv or the show.

If you want to read into it yourself I advise a trigger warning for S/A. It happens in episode 4.

[mackjlee9]

OKAY OKAY I kinda had this idea earlier and I kept thinking abt it.

male reader x leon kennedy but reader got this carlos oliveira vibe- like he's this gorgeous flirty man that's just head over heels for re4 leon who keeps rejecting him for x or y reason. reader after some tries gives up and keeps his distance from leon but leon gets weirded out when he notices reader's flirtyness is missing. leon then realizes he's totally in love with reader but it's not until infinite darkness that he asks reader out for the first time and reader gets so excited he regains his flirtyness towards leon. 😭 they're in love your honor.

Leon Kennedy x Flirty!Male!Reader [Angst&Fluff]

Again, RE4 Leon and Infinite Darkness Leon for this one.

Masterlist.

Resident Evil

Leon had heard more than a few times his coworkers complaining about (M/n), but not because he was bad at his job or rude to others, it was because of how much he flirted with everyone.

The number of women that had fallen in love with the man only to realize he just liked flirting with everyone, men and women alike, ending heartbroken, and earning a feeling of hate toward him, was beyond them.

Of course, Leon was warned about these (M/n) antics and how everything just seemed to be part of his personality, so Leon grew used to the flirty comments and paid no mind to them, even during missions.

"Is it hot in here or is it just you?" He said during one of the times they had to stay put for a bit or they were gonna get found out, and well, Ashley definitely found the situation funny, chuckling at the way Leon rolled his eyes and completely ignored (M/n)'s attempt at making him flustered, "Well, next time it'll work."

He leaned closer to Ashley, watching and hearing her giggles at his antics.

"He's head over heels for me," the blonde girl almost let out a boisterous laugh, but she managed to cover her mouth in time, and (M/n) couldn't help but smile as his flirting and jokes lightened up the mood.

Whenever he could, (M/n) would drop a flirty comment toward Leon, who would only roll his eyes or completely ignore him, and Ashley couldn't help but notice the small pout and puppy eyes he would give the blond while he wasn't looking. Leon had previously warned her about his partner and how flirty he was with everyone he talked to, but so far? (M/n) hasn't flirted with her once, and now she felt like she knew why.

"Hey, uh... (M/n)?" She called him in a whisper, and the man glanced behind his shoulder at her, waiting for Leon to come back, he simply hummed in response, "You actually... Have feelings for Leon, don't you?"

Shaking off the feeling of surprise, (M/n) smiled with a small chuckle as his face heated up, "Is it really that obvious?"

Before Ashley could respond to him, the sound of Leon's running steps made them stay alert once again, standing up from their crouching position.

"It's no use, it's a dead end, we'll have to go around," as they made their way out of the room, (M/n) tripped on a piece of wood and stumbled to his knees, groaning in pain. For a moment, Leon felt worried, what if he actually injured himself? He approached (M/n) and knelt in front of him, "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

Groaning again and nodding, (M/n) looked up at Leon, a playful smirk on his face and the blond was already sighing before even hearing him talk, "I just scraped my knee falling for you, gorgeous."

Ashley pressed her palm on her forehead, biting her lip to hold back her smile, and she watched Leon standing up and walking away in complete silence.

(M/n) sighed and stood up, ignoring the pain he felt in his leg, and Ashley only watched him with a sympathetic look in her eyes. "It'll work one day... It will..." He mumbled to himself as he followed behind Leon, making sure Ashley was safe in between them.

//////

On every mission they went on together (M/n) did the same thing, but he had started to tone down the flirting, especially after he realized that Leon seemed to have a thing for a certain woman in a red dress. And because of that, his flirting slowly stopped.

Not just with Leon, he wasn't flirting anymore, with anyone. And people around started the rumor that he got dumped, or rejected, but by who? Who was this person that made (M/n)- the guy that flirts as easily as breathing, just... Stop? No one knew, except (M/n) himself.

With the days turning into weeks, turning into months, (M/n) was silently walking around the office late at night. He had to stay late because he had some paperwork to do and reports to fill in, when he heard the muffled sounds of voices around the corner. Pretty much every agent had gone home for the day, or gone out on a mission, so he was really careful when he approached the corner, staying hidden and slowing his breath, paying close attention to the voices.

They were two women, talking about... Him?

"Not only hasn't he been flirting at all, he had been like, in a bad mood 24/7, it's annoying," gritting his teeth, (M/n) considered walking past them to let them know he heard them, but the other women spoke before he could.

"I don't know, he... He looks a little sad, as if he had his heart broken, and the last time I saw him flirting with someone was Agent Kennedy, do you think...?" The lady that spoke first scoffed, taking a sip of her tea.

"Servers him right, always playing with people's feelings, he got what he deserved," (M/n) held in his breath as he processed her words, was he really such a bad person? Was that what everyone thought of him? How everyone saw him?

It was true that he tends to flirt a lot, but it was only to lighten up the mood, he never did it with bad intentions, and he thought he always made sure he expressed he wasn't interested that way in someone...

Until he met Leon.

God, the way that man made his heart race... It only made him more flirty as a way to calm down, and maybe- hopefully- make Leon feel interested in him too but it only seemed to backfire. And now, they haven't talked in almost two weeks.

He sighed and decided he heard enough of the conversation between these two ladies, so he just walked past them, ignoring their squeals as they saw him.

"You think he heard us? He definitely heard us, Tiffany!" The lady that sort of defended him spoke, while the so-called Tiffany let out a dry laugh.

"Good~."

Yeah, good that I heard them...

//////

In the comfort of his bed, (M/n) lay awake. Replaying the same words over and over in his head. That question that just trailed in the air couldn't leave his mind, 'do you think...?' He knew what she wanted to ask.

Do you think he had feelings for Leon and he rejected him?

Well, it wasn't exactly like that, because he never confessed or asked him out, but every time he flirted with him, the pain in his chest kept increasing. It didn't matter how assertive and obvious he was, Leon would brush it off and dismiss his comment, unknowingly breaking his heart a little bit more every time. (M/n) could only tell himself that next time it'll work, he could fluster Leon next time, he just had to pick the right time...

But that next time never happened. Seeing how his comments were just released into the air, (M/n) slowly stopped caring. And that's how they had spent two weeks without talking. (M/n) just thought that being separated would help him get over Leon or make the blond miss him, but nothing. Of course, Leon didn't care about him enough to wonder and worry why he hasn't been behaving like himself, the reality left a bitter taste in his mouth, and he found it impossible to sleep that night, silently overthinking every decision he had taken in the past years.

But staying away from Leon didn't last long.

While (M/n) avoided eye contact with anyone in the President's office, Leon couldn't take his eyes away from him.

He didn't want to admit it, but this month they were apart... He couldn't shake the uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach whenever he saw (M/n), silently eating his lunch and ignoring everyone and everything. Leon didn't have it in himself to ask him what was wrong, he was never big on reassuring others or giving advice, so he could only watch him from afar.

Despite everything, Leon missed him. He really did. It was weird not having (M/n) next to him at any given chance, flirting with him whenever he felt like it, and Leon wondered why he missed (M/n) so much.

The answer he got... Wasn't exactly ideal, per se. But he realized a few things about himself. One, why (M/n) flirting with others bothered him, and two, why his heart raced and body tingled when (M/n) would flirt with him. Both led to the same answer, and he felt like a complete idiot for not noticing sooner.

He liked (M/n). He wasn't sure he could say he was in love but, there was something there, some growing feelings.

With the whole mission going to shit and in an entirely different direction, Leon and (M/n) found themselves fighting for their life against a mutated Jason, Shen May's body slowly being corroded by the acid as they kept making their way up to prevent Jason from escaping the underground facility.

"Leon," (M/n) called him, and he signaled with his head toward the weapons stored a few feet away, "I'll distract him, go!" He shouted while lifting his pistol and shooting at Jason. The bullets weren't doing much against that thick skin he had now, but he made sure all his bullets -or most of them- landed on the very obvious glowing red spot on his chest.

Jason got irritated at the feeling of the bullets ricocheting off of him, and he turned toward (M/n), momentarily forgetting what he wanted to do, growling at him as he ran and jumped around to reach his new objective.

"Shit-!" He exclaimed while trying to run away, but Jason was faster and grabbed him, pressing painfully around his middle, making him release choked grunts, "Motherfucker..." He mumbled while trying, but failing to break free from Jason's grasp.

He just released what sounded like a laugh before throwing him off the edge of the platform. (M/n) managed to hold onto one of the pipes of the rail, groaning as he tried to pull himself up, but it was proving to be harder than he initially thought.

"(M/n)-!" Leon tried to run toward him after shooting the rocket, but he soon realized that Jason had managed to hold himself up and landed on another container, grabbing a piece of loose metal that was rapidly approaching his direction, "Fuck-!" He managed to dodge, but the platform kept shaking, its integrity wavering due to the corrosive acid.

Leon did everything he could, as quickly as he could, keeping an eye out for (M/n) who was still fighting to hold on, but his grip was slipping, and Leon wasn't gonna allow Jason to take another life.

And now, he couldn't stay still to watch how Jason slowly died in the acid, he had someone to rescue now. Landing on a nearby platform, Leon ran as fast as he could, almost feeling his legs give up with every step that echoed in the place, (M/n) was right there, he wasn't gonna let him die now, he knew... Leon knew he could save him, and that's what he's gonna do.

(M/n) groaned with gritted teeth as he tried to maintain his grip on the pipe, but his strength was giving up, and his mind was getting weak, convincing himself that this was it, and there was nothing he could do about it. He felt like an idiot who wasted his entire life when he didn't confess his feelings to Leon, now he would never get the chance to...

Sighing, (M/n) stopped fighting, letting his grip slip, and releasing the pipe.

Everything felt like it went in slow motion.

Leon saw how (M/n) started falling, and with tears in his eyes, he slid his way to him, barely managing to hook his leg around a pipe, while holding himself up to not fall in too, his free hand reaching (M/n)'s before it was too late.

He let out rapid breaths and tears spilled from his eyes down his face, looking into (M/n)'s (e/c) ones, who were staring up at him with surprise.

"I got you," (M/n) couldn't help but chuckle as he reached his other arm up to pull himself up with Leon's help, ending up pinning the male to the metal floor of the platform.

"Wanna go grab some beers? My treat," Leon smiled at him, and he found himself staring at (M/n)'s lips. Without uttering a word, Leon leaned up and pressed his lips on (M/n)'s, effectively catching the man off-guard, "Is... Is that a yes?"

Leon laughed and wrapped his arm around (M/n)'s neck, with his other intertwining their fingers together seeing as they were still holding onto each other.

"More than a yes, (M/n)."

(M/n) felt a shiver run down his spine, goosebumps appearing on his skin, and he couldn't hold back his smile as he leaned down to kiss Leon again.

If it wasn't because the place was about to fall in the acid they probably would've stayed there, kissing and giggling happily like teenagers in love.

Extended ending.

When everyone saw (M/n) walking inside past the main door, some people were happy to see him go back to his normal self, while others frowned as they dreaded the same flirty attitude from him, but everyone was caught off-guard when they saw Leon walk in right behind him, reaching for his hand and nudging him playfully with a giddy smile. (M/n) smiled at him and leaned closer to kiss Leon's cheek, going their separate ways from there.

Tiffany frowned at the sight and huffed, annoyed, while Moira had a small smile on her face, glad to know that whatever had happened between (M/n) and Leon was fixed and back to normal- well, better than normal.

[evanpeterswhoresblog]

I love your fics omg you're so talented

Can you make an adult world fic? Alex obviously. Like reader is working with him and Alex keeps pushing vibrators on her skin and laughing n stuff. Then she's sick of his shit right so then she goes to the back and does her thing out there but Alex keeps teasing her and he goes out back with her and he starts to like rub himself on her and put her hand on his boner. Stuff like that. Kinda non con but the reader likes it she just doesn't want to admit it.

Can you make Alex make the reader give him head too? If it's too much just do the teasing. Luv u <3

i tried my best to make this fit your request i hope i did alright, i’ve never really written anything non con i don’t even know if this fits as the category lol but either way hope you enjoy :)

~~~

The Late Shift

Alex (Adult World) x f!reader

warnings: smut, unprotected p in v, slight non con, oral male receiving, sex toys (not used for sex tho), pretty rough sex tbh, lmk what else if i missed any

summary: as you and alex are doing your last work for the night, things take a different turn than what you expected…

word count: 2.2k

~~~

You’ve never been big on sex. You like it of course. But you’ve never been one to experiment with sex toys or watch a ton of porn. So how you ended up working for a sex shop is a mystery. You were desperate for a job, and Adult World happened to be the closest, easiest place hiring. It’s been an easy job, for the most part. Except for one thing.

Your manager.

Alex is a good person, he’s funny, kind, and when you’re confused on anything he’s a great help. The only issue is how fucking attracted you are to him. You swear he’s the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen. His dark curly hair, dark mysterious eyes, he’s perfect. You’ve never wanted a guy more than you want Alex. It makes working with him hard, but so far, you’ve managed. Barely.

Right now, the two of you are unpacking new sex toys for the store. You talk casually, but you focus more of your attention on the crazy shapes and sizes these dildos are. Alex must notice your surprise.

“Would you ever use one of these?” He asks, holding up a glass dildo with patterns on it.

You chuckle. “I think that thing would tear me apart.”

“I’ve seen girls stick way crazier things up their pussy’s, like food and shit,” Alex replies with a laugh.

“So that’s what you jerk off to? Good to know,” you tease.

“Yeah, I bet you wanted to know. Just so you know, ff I go searching tomorrow night and find a video of you sticking a cucumber up your pussy, I’ll cum so hard.”

You feel your cheeks go red at his comment but keep your composer. Sometimes Alex says things that make you a little uncomfortable, but you know it’s all jokes so you don’t care too much. Plus, it gives you hope that maybe he has the same feelings for you.

“Hey y/n, get a look at this,” Alex says.

Before you can look you feel the vibrations on your skin. You flinch and push Alex’s hand away, but he keeps putting the vibrator on you. He’s laughing, you’re not. You don’t find his distractions entertaining right now. After a few seconds of this you slap the vibrator out of his hand and glare at him.

“Stop Alex, I’m trying to work,” you snap. He keeps laughing and with each second that passes you become more annoyed.

“It’s just a joke calm your tits. I’m the manager dude it’s not like we’re gonna get in trouble for talking,” he replies.

You huff. “Just, stop okay.”

“How about you stop being such a buzz kill,” he mumbles under his breath.

You ignore his comment and continue to unpack. Things are calm for a few minutes, before Alex gets his hands on another vibrator. He presses it against your cheek this time. You immediately slap his hand away again, but this time you stand up and try your hardest not to lose your cool. He looks up at you, about to speak, but you cut him off before he can.

“I’m gonna take this box out to the garbage,” you say, picking up an empty box that once contained a number of dildos and walking to the back door without listening to his reply.

You wonder why he’s being so difficult tonight. He typically talks a lot during your shifts together, but this is different. Usually, his jokes and comments aren’t too bad, why’s tonight different? You get to the back of the store quick and stuff the box into the dumpster. When that’s done you lean back on the brick wall, a sigh escapes your lips at the silence, it’s nice not hearing Alex’s voice. You grab your phone out of your pocket and start to text your friends back.

Sadly, your peace is interrupted after only five minutes. Alex calls your name from the door, telling you to come back in and help him finish before you guys have to close up. You silently curse but follow his instructions. You feel a bit bad; you know he’s not trying to make you upset, but he just is. You promise yourself you’ll try your hardest to tolerate him, after all you only have an hour left till the store closes. You can suck it up.

You’re walking down one of the aisles when Alex appears in front of you. You give him a small smile. You feel worse looking at his innocent face. Maybe you were overreacting.

“Sorry for walking out, I’m just tired and I want to go home,” you apologize.

“I get it, I’m sorry if I was being annoying, I really like making you laugh. Sometimes I try too hard,” he replies with a small laugh.

You smile. “That’s sweet.”

“You think so?”

You begin to walk toward him, toward the last unopened boxes. “Of course, I’m very flattered you enjoy my laughter. But anyway, how about we speed through the last of the boxes and go home early? You think they’ll notice?”

“Probably not,” he answers.

You’re close enough to him that you expect him to move aside so you can go to the unfinished work, but he doesn’t. Instead of moving he simply stares down at you, a strange look in his eyes. You know that look, you’ve looked at him like that. He wants you. If it were any other day, you’d be ecstatic. But right now, all you want to do is finish the tasks and go home. You look around him, trying to signal that you want him to move. He doesn’t.

“So, let's get this shit over with,” you say, clear as day about what you want.

He still doesn’t move. “You know y/n, you’re more fun when you aren’t taking this job seriously.” He steps closer to you, only a foot now separating the two of you. “I want that version of you right now.”

You laugh awkwardly. “Come on Alex, I just want to go home.”

“I’ll be quick, but I assumed you wanted something that would last longer.”

He puts his hands on your shoulders and backs you up against a shelf. Your heart rate quickens, is this real? You stare into his eyes, a confused expression on your face. You’ve had dreams of this happening, but in all of them you wanted it, right now you don’t exactly want it.

“Alex...” you say. “What are you doing?”

“Don’t play coy, I’ve seen the way you look at me. I know you want this too,” he answers, his lips curling up into a devilish smirk. He presses his body against you and you feel how hard he is, it makes you gasp. “I want it really bad.”

You don’t know what to say. Part of you wants to push him off you and run out of the store, but another part of you wants to see where this goes. You feel him start to rub himself against your leg, it makes you feel paralyzed. He’s too strong to push away, you think. It would be useless to try. So, you realize your fate lies with what Alex chooses to do.

He leans his head down, softly pressing his lips against yours. You can’t deny how long you’ve wanted this to happen. You just wish it wasn’t happening right this second. Nevertheless, you kiss him back, your mind adjusting to the knowledge that this is going to happen. You let him grope your breasts, squeezing and massaging them through your shirt. You even let him scoop you up in his arms and carry you to one of the desks in the back office. Though, you didn’t have much of a choice to start with.

He lays you down on a desk, his lips moving feverishly with yours. You can’t keep it together. His lips are moving so aggressively, they’re so soft. He bites down on your bottom lip and you groan into his mouth, the pain making that feeling between your thighs grow. He pulls his lips away and starts to kiss down your neck, leaving hickeys behind as he takes your delicate skin into his mouth. You throw your head back and moan, he pushes your knees apart and fills the space with his body.

“Alex... are there any cameras back here?” You ask, your breath ragged as he sucks a spot near your collar bone.

“Course not,” he answers in a hushed tone.

“Are you sure we should be doing this? What if someone comes in?” You’re second guessing this, maybe you should’ve protested more. The last thing you want is to have a customer come in and catch this.

“Just be quiet y/n it’s fine,” he responds.

You’re about to speak again, but that’s when he starts to rub one of his hands up your thigh and right between your thighs. You moan again as he starts to rub you through your pants. He knows exactly what he’s doing and it makes you feel like your body is floating.

He trails his kisses back up your neck until he catches your lips again. You kiss him hard, your arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him closer. You buck your hips; you need more pressure. Alex understands this and presses his fingers harder on your jeans right over your clit. You’re so wet, you need him. You’ve never felt such desire for another human being.

“I want you to do something for me,” Alex says against your lips.

“Anything,” you reply without thinking, you’re too wrapped up on how good he’s rubbing you.

He pulls back and you open your eyes, he’s unbuckling his belt. You sit up on your elbows and watch as he pulls down his jeans, his hard cock very noticeable. He grabs your hands and pulls you forward till you’re off the desk. You’re confused until he pushes you down onto your knees, his crotch right in front of your face. You look up at him, he brushed a hand though your hair.

You don’t really want to suck his dick, but you’re too afraid of him forcing you that you don’t object. Instead, you pull him boxers down and stoke him gently. He sighs in pleasure and continues to brush his fingers through your hair. You don’t waste any more time. You start by slowly swirling your tongue around his tip, enjoying the way he whispers your name. After that, you lick down his shaft, you don’t like when dicks are dry down your throat.

Soon enough you’re deepthroating him, practically gagging on his dick. He’s a moaning mess, both his hands tangled in your hair. You don’t mind it as much as earlier. You even enjoy certain parts. Like how when you move your tongue as you suck, he’ll praise you, or how when you tighten your lips around him, he groans. With each sound that leaves him your panties become more and more wet.

When he’s close to cumming he pushes you off him, telling you to take your clothes off and lay back down on the desk. You do exactly as he says and before long, he’s back between your thighs, leaving wet kisses all over your body. You can’t handle how much you need him. The heart beat between your legs is all you can think of, and when he brushes his tip between your soaked folds you almost moan.

You grip his shoulders, your eyes locked on his. “Alex just fuck me already.”

“Someone’s needy,” he mumbled, his tone sending tingles throughout your body. He positions his tip at your entrance and leans down to connect your lips. “But your wish is my command.”

With that, he begins to fuck you. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, your nails digging into his shoulders. He thrusts at a pace that makes your toes curl. It’s so hard, so deep, so perfect. The desk rocks so hard you think the legs might break. You don’t even care. All you care about is that Alex doesn’t stop, not for anything.

He does though, but for a good reason. He pulls out of you and before you can even question it, he grabs you, flips you, and bends you over the edge of the desk. He resumes his thrusts, and you can’t help but moan loud enough that anyone in the store would be able to hear. You almost scream when he grabs your hips and pulls you back, his dick hitting right on your cervix over and over again. It’s almost too much for you to take.

He leans down after a few minutes and whispers in your ear, “You feel so fucking good y/n, it’s so hard not to cum.”

“Alex,” you moan.

“Are you close baby?” He breathes.

“Yes, please keep going,” you answer.

In minutes you cum so hard you swear you see stars. You moan Alex’s name so loud you’re sure everyone in the building next door can hear you. It’s the best feeling of your life. Your legs give out, Alex has to hold you up. Your nails dig into the desk, your whole face turns red, and you feel those orgasmic pulses throughout your entire body. He cums soon after you, pulling out and spilling his seed onto your back. You’re grateful, you forgot to tell him you weren’t on the pill.

“Well,” he says as you’re both still trying to catch your breath. “That was definitely better than unpacking those boxes.”

[strawb3rrystar]

hi I was TOTALLY not stalking ur acc cus it’s so good..nooo way🥰🤞🏼

buttttt I was her to rec a lucifer x reader!preferably fem,but gn is always alr,all the power to u!

so maybe like reader looks super innocent,and is like shorter than him,has a golden retriever kinda demon form and is a overlord,and the reason she is a overlord is cus she’s a assassin and is VERY well known lol.

and luci didn’t know that and is just like 😨 when she casually told him.

you can do this by hcs,one shot,or blurb ur choice :3

Simplicity is far from simple.

Pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x Fem! Overlord! Reader

Warnings: A tiny wee bit of hurt, but lots of comfort and fluff

Word count: 534

✰Masterlist

When you first met Lucifer you were one of the many, many sinners who had never seen him before. You had only ever heard about him in stories. You must admit he looked very different than how you pictured him in your head.

You were immediately enthralled by his charm and wittyness. He was also quite charmed by you, as you were unlike any sinners he'd seen before. After Lilith left him, Lucifer was scared to start dating again. But he decided to give it a shot with you.

The two of you would meet outside his palace, frequenting a small, Imp owned, café. Lucifer liked you very much, and wanted to spend his day with you. The first time he held your hand, he realized that you were smaller than him. The way your palms fit together so perfectly made him giddy inside.

When you told Lucifer you were an Overlord, he was shocked. To him, you seemed way too innocent to even be in Hell in the first place. Your upbeat personality and bright eyes confused him. Most of the Overlords he knew about took on a much more sinister form. But you? You were much, much different.

Since that day, Lucifer heard your name be brought up during the topic of Overlords. So, he had to guess you were very popular. One day, while at the café, he overheard some sinners talking about you. He heard them mention something about assassination, which peaked his curiosity. But he decided to ignore it, focusing on his outing with you.

Later, when the two of you were in his workshop, he decided to ask you about it. He cleared his throat, gaining your attention. "My dear, may I ask you something?"

"Well, you just did. But sure Luci, what's up?" You reply, walking over next to him.

"I heard something today. About you being an assassin? I know it's silly, and you probably aren't even one." Lucifer rambles.

"Oh no, I am." You say, making him pause and turn towards you.

"Huh?" He questions, utterly confused.

"Yeah, I'm an assassin." You shrug, like it wasn't a big deal.

Lucifer rubs his temples then stares at you "And why didn't you tell me, my dear?"

"You never asked. And also, I didn't want my job to change your view of me." You admit, looking away from him.

"Why would that change my view of you?" He asks, tilting his head.

"Well, you're amazing, and kind, and funny. And I'm.. well.. me." You answer truthfully.

"My dear, you're all those things as well. I'm literally the King of Hell, I've seen it all. Trust me, you being an Overlord-assassin doesn't change what we have." Lucifer cups your cheek, turning your head back towards him.

"Really?" Your eyes get the same shine they always have when you're around Lucifer.

"Yes, really." He kisses your forehead. That was the first time the King of Hell had ever kissed you. A smile fills your face as you wrap your arms around his torso. He graciously wraps his arms around your shoulder, holding you close. The two of you stayed like that for a while, just enjoying each others presence.

Star's notes -> I TOTALLY do not feel super honored that someone is stalking my blog.. noooo way >:}

(Thank you, sweet anon, for requesting!) (Requests are open!)

Taglist -> @alexandria-fandom @corruptcoder @astrolovedy @perfectlycraftychaos @stressedbleach @idontreallyexistyet @ghostdoodlen @roboticsuccubus83 @blood-heart22 @cirrus-sampling-sanity @hazbinhottel @sugarplumz100 @myamythos @hazbinhappy @samohxt2-0 @mollzaj @sunshines-bright @t0uchst4rv3d | Join the taglist

[cascade05]

So… when people go to Starbucks, they sometimes use celebrity names, right? I saw this post on Pinterest (one of those older Tumblr screenshots) and this person said their name was Tony Stark and they ran into someone who called themselves Bruce Wayne. So that happens, right?

Okay, so, imagine you're working as a barista at some place and you get so many people telling you their name is a pro hero name. The amount of Dekus you have served this week is off the charts and you had no idea Shoto could shape shift into forty different people. In all honesty, though, it's funny and kinda the highlight of your week.

This one day, someone comes in and they tell you there name is Dynamight. Not only does the shy smile on his face tell you, no, it's not Dynamight, but like literally everything else does too. Okay, normal. You place the order and then take the next person in line. This person is also Dynamight. This has happened before and, to prevent confusion, you dub this person Dynamight 1.

The next customer is a stoic man by the name David. The two of you connect eyes, both inwardly laughing at the funny little encounter that just transpired. David is dubbed nice David, a name you mumble and the stoic man hums with joy, you think.

Anyway, after David is—well, a large, intimating man which wild ash-blond hair and sharp crimson eyes which are enhanced by his dark mask. You blink up at him, shocked for a moment before your eyes flicker to Nice David. You both share a look of shock before evil grins appear in your eyes.

Then Dynamight orders and you take his order professionally, not gushing or fan-girling—and not breaking down into a fit of laughter despite so badly wanting to. He gives you his name, a gruff “Dynamight,“ and you bite your cheek.

You take your sharpie—you've chosen orange for obvious reasons—and your write what some may consider your final words. You're optimistic and consider it funny. “Dynamight 2,“ you mumble and the man snaps his head around with such a bizzare, pissed off look you can't stop the laugh. You tried, which turned it into a snort and the rage in his eyes exploded (heh) at the sound. You hid behind the empty coffee cup, pinching your lips together as laughter prodded at your chest.

“The hell did you just say? You think that shit is funny?!“

You did. Then you realized he probably thought you were making fun of his recent drop from number one hero to number two. He was bitter about that, it was no secret. You cleared your throat, back to looking at Dynamight with your professional facade. “Sorry sir, it's just that,“ you paused, sharing a look with Nice David.

“Spit it out,“ the inpatient hero demanded.

You looked back it him, clearing your throat again as a laugh threatened to ruin everything. You laughed when you here nervous and it didn't help that you always found Dynamight's reactions amusing. But you had to keep it together, for the other, no doubt, embarrassed Dynamights in the room. “Well, I'm sorry to say, but Dynamight and Dynamight 1 have already been taken.“

“What?“

It was so short, so curt, and so blunt you almost laughed again. You saw the other two Dynamights flinch and you wanted to scream. What were the odds the real deal would come into the little cafe the same time as two of his fans? Ah, if you were them you'd be too embarrassed to get your coffee. But, since you weren't them, well, you were there to enjoy the comedy gold.

Back to Dynamight 2. The man still awaited an explanation, far too confused to be annoyed at your lack of action. You looked at the two other Dynamights who's eyes were glued to the floor. You looked at your coworkers, all of which were hiding smiles by showing their backs to the giant pro—busying themselves with work. You looked at Kind Dave, both agreeing this was one of—nay, the BEST thing to ever happen in your lives. You looked at Dynamight 2, a man so lost and so confused, so unsure of his identity.

“If you would like, I can use a different name.“

“Huh?“ That snapped him back to the present. “Hell no, I'm Dynamight!“

“Yes.“

“So use Dynamight!“

“It's already been used—“ “Then swap them!“

“I can't. That would just confuse the team—“ “Then I should be Dynamight 1!“

“That's already been taken.“

“Just change it from Dynamight 2, dammit!“

“How about Dynamight 3?“

Oh if looks could kill. “Change. It,“ he order slowly, lowly, and most definitely sternly.

You coughed into your hand to hide the laugh. “Alright sir, I'll change it.“

You assumed he was too angry to listen to your new name for him which was his fault actually. He could most certainly not blame you for what was to come because it was he who left you unsupervised and you lived off of the pain of others.

There were no other customers so, you had the honor of handing out drinks. It was with great joy you took that job and you, again with great joy, read the name on the cup out loud. “Dynamight.“

You saw the hero twitch. His scowl deepened and you would've laughed to yourself if you weren't waiting for Dynamight to show up. You looked at the small group, raising a brow when no one came. “Guess he left,“ you mumbled.

One of your coworkers mumbled a response. “I'd leave too.“

You both shared a small snicker.

Then the next order came up. “Dynamight one?“ you asked, fully aware that person has also slipped out.

That meant two free coffees for the team.

Next was “Kind David,“ you announced proudly.

The man, the myth, the legend walked up to your counter and, as the name implied, kindly took the drink from you, giving you a kind nod of thanks. You both shared a look of amusement before he left, giving Dynamight 2 a small nod as he passed.

It was time. You held the large black coffee with a hint of cinnamon and a helping of whipped cream in your hand. Dynamight liked whipped cream, who knew? You didn't look at the cup to read the name. No. You looked straight into Dynamight's narrowed eyes. He began approaching the counter, glare hardening in suspicion. You announced him and he bristled with anger, lip lifting up to reveal his pink gums as he sneered down at you. Such a large man.

“Number two!“ you announced loudly, cheerfully, and joyously.

Boy. You had never seen a face curl up like that. He towered over you and he opened his mouth to give you a pice of his mind. But you beat him to it. You leaned forward, mischievous glint in your eye. “Don't worry,“ you whispered, “you'll always be number one here, hero.“

And it was supposed to be a funny jab, you said it with a teasing look. It was supposed to make him snatch the coffee outta your hands with a glare. But, well, you couldn't control his emotions.

He grabbed the coffee, taking it out of your hand normally. He glared, a comparatively calm glare. “Watch yourself, shorty.“

And you let your mouth drop in a dramatic scoff, about to give his back a piece of your mind, then you see it. You freeze, mouth gaping in actual shock. The back of his neck and the tips of his ears were the slightest bit red. You thought you were seeing things. You rubbed your eye. Oh boy, you were not seeing things.

It was supposed to be a funny jab. You said it with a teasing look. But hey, if Dynamight got all embarrassed, that was fine too. “We'll be rooting for you hero!“ you cheered, again, mildly teasing.

He scoffed but you saw the blush grow on the back of his neck. He sent you one glare over his shoulder and your cat-like grin grew at the pink dusting his upper cheek. Then he left and the cafe was silent before you and your coworkers burst into a series of obnoxious laughs and giggles. You were not giggling, by the way, you were on the floor DYING and wheezing in an ugly, hilarious sort way.

Dynamight was an interesting guy.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA

Would I be the asshole if I pull out of being a bridesmaid for my 'best friend'?

Background: E and I became best friends at 13 and we are both about to turn 43. we've been through a million ups and downs together. She has a crappy family and I became friend, sister, mother, support. In the last 15 years or so she has become a functional alcoholic and I have found it harder and harder to deal with her. I've bailed her out so many times. I've 'loaned' her thousands of dollars that I have no expectation of ever seeing again. I've tried to support her and given her advice when she asked for it (even though I knew she would ignore it) and listened to her problems (for hours and hours as she sucked down wine and got drunker and drunker). When she's not a drunken mess she's an awesome person, kind, funny, caring, generous and soberE was usually worth having to put up with dunkE.

Twice in our friendship we've had fights where it's taken us a long time to get back to speaking terms but there would be a text here and a phone call there, then we'd be back to talking for hours every other day. A year ago we had a huge fight and I decided I just needed to not talk to her for a while. I didn't even feel bad about not talking to her, it was almost a luxury to not sit on the phone and listen to her get progressively drunker as she slurped red wine. I did try the old tested route back to close friendship earlier this year. I would send her some texts when something big was happening or when I came across something I knew she'd like. But I would only get 1 or 2 word texts back. In February there was a major flood in our home town and I was freaking out about my family that still lived there - she was not, I felt like I was more worried about her mother than she was, I know they've got a bad relationship but we're talking a bodies floating around kind of situation. I was making multiple 5 hour mercy dashes with car loads of aid supplies and freaking out seeing these places we spent our childhood just destroyed and texting her about it and getting nothing back. I made a couple more efforts to contact her over the next couple of months but still nothing much back. Around May-June I decided I wasn't going to bother contacting her, I'd talk if she contacted me but I wasn't putting in effort anymore.

In September she sent me a text saying she was getting married in Jan 2025 and would I be one of her bridesmaids. I really didn't want to say yes. But almost 30 years of friendship, I felt guilty turning her down. And it felt like an overture on her part, like she was ready to make an effort. So I said yes and have been regretting it since. We are still not really speaking. We'll like each other's FB posts and that's about it. I mean there's still plenty of time for us to become friends again but I'm pretty much decided that if our relationship hasn't improved by the middle of 2024 I'm going to politely back out. It's going to be a backyard DIY wedding, she won't expect me to be heavily involved in the planning because she lives so far away that I couldn't do much more than turn up for the day and stand up with her. Me pulling out won't leave a hole in the planning so I know I wouldn't be an asshole for that. Where I might be an asshole is I think she would be really sad if I'm not there because I am the closest thing she's got to family, I know her mother and step-father won't be there and it's unlikely her brother will be. But I also kinda don't care because I'm sick of making the effort to be there for her when she's not making any effort for me.

So would I be the asshole if I pulled out of the wedding of my friend of 30 years?

What are these acronyms?

[hotchswifey]

insomnia - dean winchester x reader

(this is the first thing i have written in about 2 years 😭😭😭😭

it kinda sucks but i like it

warnings: insomnia (i am aware that any sleep disorders cannot be cured by another person and i do not mean to take away from people who suffer from these conditions, this was just a cute little idea i had), a little angst?? (just about how much deans life sucks.), fluff, cuddling, overthinking, thinking badly about yourself (ur thoughts can be mean but ur lovely and brilliant <3333)

also i have a hc that dean goes really silent when he's tired, except he can't go silent around most people bc then they start to think something is really wrong™, but actually he is just too exhausted to try to talk (self-projection? maybe.)

word count: 2373)

---------------------------------------------------

You rubbed at your tired eyes, walking into the bunker’s kitchen, your eyes adjusting to the light that definitely shouldn’t have been on - considering it was 3.32am. Your eyes fell on Dean, who was hunched over the island counter eating cereal. ‘Should’ve figured it was him who couldn’t sleep, too’, you thought. As bad as your sleeping habits had gotten, you always marvelled at Dean’s capability to be a functioning human with so little sleep.

He had noticed you as soon as you stepped foot in the room, but he did nothing to acknowledge your presence. Figures. You reasoned that the poor guy’s probably slept twice in the last week. You didn’t address him either; whether it was sleep deprivation or knowing he wanted to be left alone, you didn’t know. You just went to grab yourself a bowl of cereal. 

It was quiet (except for the sound of pouring milk and Dean’s chewing), but it was comfortable. It gave you some peace knowing you weren’t the only one who couldn’t sleep - something so simple yet far out of your reach. You didn’t know when it happened (your inability to sleep), but ‘it comes with the life,’ you supposed. You grabbed your bowl and left Dean to ponder on his own.

---------------------------------------------------

You rubbed at your tired eyes again. The same routine - lay in bed for hours, eventually get up because you’re hungry, head to the kitchen and find the light on. Again and again, this happened - Dean always sat there. It had become a funny thing kind of (in an unhealthy, oh-my-god-i-just-want-to-sleep-but-i-guess-it’s-nice-to-see-dean type of way). 

He didn’t acknowledge you, you didn’t acknowledge him, you poured your cereal to the sound of Dean chewing and went back to your room to eat. You wished he would invite you to sit down, even if you both ate silently. It was nice not to be alone at night, overthinking every gruesome and terrible thing to come. But you knew it was Dean, and he definitely needed some peace, quiet, and alone time (and this was the most alone time he willingly gave himself). 

You ate back in your room, not sleeping for yet another night.

---------------------------------------------------

You and the boys had just got back from a vamp hunt. Sore, tired and, frankly, pissed off. The hunt was fine, you all supposed. But, god, it takes a lot to completely decapitate somebody. Your energy was all drained, and the only thing you wanted to do was sleep - but could you? No. Of course, you couldn’t. Why? A thunderstorm? Fireworks? Gunshots? No. Because your brain hates you. God forbid you get an ounce of sleep.

Your routine ensued again, more sluggish this time and certainly more pissed. All you wanted to do was behead a few vamps and sleep it off, but no. Of course not. Try to sleep, fail to sleep, get up and haul your ass to the kitchen, pour cereal, eat cereal. How did your life become so dull?

The lights are on again. You think, ‘There is no way in all hell Dean is awake. That boy put himself through more physical torment you could ever even dream of (not that you’d want to)’. You weren’t too shocked when, even after today, you saw Dean sitting there.

It wasn’t a surprise that Dean Winchester (saviour of the world, the perfect killer) was still awake, even after killing eight vamps single-handedly (but from how he was sitting, you were sure he’d hurt his back on the hunt). Dean. Again. In the kitchen. Not sleeping.

You didn’t know why, but it pissed you off more than it should have. 

“Why are you still up?” You asked, walking past the island to the cereal cupboard. No response. Of course. You rolled your eyes, fishing out the box of lucky charms you reserved for awful days. You caught Dean’s eye as you turned around to get a bowl. 

He might’ve been the strongest man you knew physically and mentally, but he looked so tired. More tired than you had ever seen him. More tired now than after ending the apocalypse or returning from purgatory. How could he look so exhausted after one vamp hunt? You thought about it for a second, only now realising how many times you had gotten up and he had been in the kitchen. Every time you got up, he was in the kitchen. What are the chances that when you can’t sleep, neither can he? Or was it more likely he wasn’t sleeping at all?

If you were being truthful, the strongest man you knew looked like hell. He looked like a little boy who couldn’t sleep because he had a nightmare and wanted his mom. Except he wasn’t a little boy, he was living through the nightmare and had no one to turn to when things got bad.

You had felt pity for Dean before (how could you not, the man has quite literally been to hell and back), but this was a different kind of pity. This was the kind of pity that only came when things were terrible. When you realise this was how it had to be, how it would be, forever. The kind of pity that came when you realised you couldn’t do anything about it. You felt useless looking at him in his dressing gown, hunched over the counter.

He was the world’s saviour, and you had to assume that came with consequences - like not sleeping.

You didn’t say anything. Your anger had dissipated into sadness - sadness for being unable to help your friend. There was nothing you could say or do. There was nothing at all. You stared at him, and he stared back, and that was it. You went about your night - pour the cereal, return to your room, and not sleep.

---------------------------------------------------

Another day. Another hunt. Another sleepless night.

You considered buying the strongest sleeping pills and calling it a day. But you knew you couldn’t. Dean would haul your ass out for another hunt tomorrow, and he’d be pissed if you were fast asleep.

‘He should take some sleeping pills’, you thought. Maybe he would actually be remotely okay then.

Not fall asleep, get up, walk to the kitchen, see Dean, not acknowledge each other, get your cereal and leave. Again and again. You may have liked it, though. Just that little bit of routine in your hectic lives. Even if it was a bad routine.

You poured your cereal, your back to Dean, in complete silence. It was nice. Comfortable.

You picked up your spoon, ready to head back to bed, and turned around to find Dean already looking at you. You paused on the spot, unsure as to why he was staring. He didn’t stop when you noticed him. He looked as tired as ever. The sight of him, looking exhausted, with a bowl of cereal and beer, was heartbreaking. It physically hurts to look at.

He looked at you, and you looked back. Silent. Again. You wish you knew what to say, but what could you say? ‘Hey, Dean. You look like shit.’ You were sure you looked just as bad.

The sudden eye contact didn’t end. You both are not blinking, not moving, simply just looking. It was like you were communicating telepathically, just understanding each other and the hell you were both going through. This life was bad enough with sleep.

He didn’t say anything when you moved to sit down next to him, he didn’t say anything when you began to eat your (soggy) cereal, and he didn’t say anything when you finished eating. He just drank his beer and ate his cereal wordlessly. He said nothing when you sat there for 5… 10… 15… 20 minutes. Not one word.

You wanted to know what was going on in his head so badly. You wanted to know how you could help if you could help. But Dean doesn’t share his problems. You knew that, Sam knew that Cas knew that- everybody in the damn world knew that.

You sat and sat and sat silently. Half an hour passed, then an hour, then two… before you knew it, Sam was walking in- tired and grumpy. The sun had risen (not that you could see it), and a new day had started.

“You look like shit, dude”, Dean said to Sam, who promptly rolled his eyes.

---------------------------------------------------

This time, when you couldn’t sleep, you didn’t go to the kitchen. You just laid there. Unmoving. You’re sleep-deprived mind was overthinking everything- what if you fucked up on that hunt 3 years ago, and Sam and Dean still hate you to this day? What if Sam hates you? What if Dean hates you? What if Dean is so fucking sick of you interrupting his nightly cereal time? You were a victim of your mind- your thoughts and inability to sleep. 

Ugh. You were so hungry. But, right now, your brain was convincing you you were single-handedly Dean’s biggest annoyance right now (if Dean could read your thoughts right now, he would be calling you his biggest idiot).

A knock on your door startled you more than it should’ve (considering you had been hunting for quite a while at this point).

A knock. At (you looked over to your alarm clock) 3:34am. ‘Why is Sam awake at this time? Why’s he knocking on my door?’ you thought. ‘It can’t be Dean. I’ve done nothing but piss him off for the last month. You squint your eyes preemptively as you reach over to turn on the lamp by your bed and get up. The floor was cold under your feet, and your body was exhausted from the lack of sleep. You reached towards the doorknob, preparing to see Sam. 

Sam. Who was definitely not at the door. Because Dean was standing there, in boxers and a white t-shirt, holding 2 bowls of cereal, looking as tired as you felt. Huh.

He looked at you silently, extending one bowl towards yourself. You took it hesitantly, staring at him, confused. He didn’t react. He didn’t say a word. Just lifted his bowl to eat his cereal. You moved to give Dean the option to come in. It was like a silent agreement had happened between you. Cereal and silence.

He walked in and sat on your bed; you closed your door and joined him. Wordless. Silent.

Maybe, you weren’t annoying him. Perhaps, he enjoyed this as much as you did. Maybe. Maybe.

Ten minutes passed, and you finished your cereal and leaned over to put it on the mahogany desk. ‘The Men of Letters enjoyed a frivolous life, huh. Who needs a mahogany desk?’ You thought, trying to distract yourself from your overactive mind. Dean moved over to do the same, leaning into you whilst he did. 

He didn’t seem to lean away from you after that. He didn’t seem to move at all. He just sat close as you both stared at the wall, unblinking. God, you were tired. You just wanted to sleep. You felt like your body was going to shut down any day now.

“You should get some sleep,” Dean’s groggy voice came out of nowhere. It surprised you, him actually talking. 

“Yeah, I’m trying,” you replied. Hell, you were trying. You were trying so hard, you just needed to-. Dean moved before you could finish your thought, standing up and moving to the top of the bed, pulling back the dishevelled sheets. He laid down in the bed, propping his head onto his hands.

“Are you just going to stand there?”

You moved to join him in the tiny twin bed. He pulled back the covers to let you in. You weren’t too sure what to do with yourself, then. You sat there with your knees to your chin, shoulders hunched. He had invited himself into your bed, and you felt like you were invading HIS space. Why were you still overthinking this? Why were you still thinking he didn’t want you here? Obviously, he did! 

His arm wrapped around your shoulders before you could think anymore. You looked over at him, his green eyes reflective in the lamplight, and he looked back at you. Wordless. You gave him a small smile and moved to lie down. He joined you, his arm still wrapped around your shoulder. You debated whether you should lean against his chest but decided not to overthink it and just do it. You were sick of overthinking every little thing.

His other arm wrapped around your waist, yours wrapped around his. This was good. He was good. Nothing was exchanged between you; there wasn’t a need for words. You both knew this was what you two needed- each other. Dean had never really been alone (whether it was Sam, Cas, or Benny), and he needed somebody there to remind him that everything was okay. You were okay- sleep-deprived and needing a new career, but okay. 

Your eyes were shutting before you could help it. Dean’s steady heartbeat in your ear and arms around your body calmed you. It was almost funny how quickly you were falling asleep now. Months and months of sleepless nights, and all it took was Dean to be here, holding you. You wished you could enjoy it more (not knowing if this would happen again), but you were so goddamn tired. 

---------------------------------------------------

You awoke the following day to repeated knocks on your door and Sam’s voice shouting your name. Damnit Sam. He opened your door before you even had the chance to fully wake up.

“Have you seen Dea- oh.”

The man in question was fast asleep, his arms still wrapped around you, your legs tangled together. You looked towards Sam as he mouthed a quick ‘sorry’ and left hurriedly. You were surprised it didn’t wake Dean. A pin drop could wake him up. You looked over at him, admiring how peaceful he looked. It was simple. Simple and nice and sort of domestic. Or as domestic as a hunter’s life can be.

You leaned against his chest, his arms tightening around you, falling back asleep.

You two had a different routine from then on- if either couldn’t sleep, you would find each other.

[rebouks]

Previous // Next

[Brodie flicked through the mail, instantly recognising the scrawling handwriting of a certain redheaded little boy. Scaring a few birds in the process, he bellowed up the stairs: ALEEEEX!] Alex: [breathless] Is it for me?! Brodie: Nah, but I could do with some help carrying this super heavy envelope upstairs. Alex: Who do you think you are, Johnny Zest? Brodie: I’m better than that guy, c’mon…

… Hi Alex! Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply to you, I promise I didn’t forget! I guess I just didn’t really know what to say cos I’ve sorta not felt like myself recently. My mom says I disappear into my own world sometimes so I sorta did that again and found it hard to think of anything fun to say. I don’t think I’d mind if you wrote to me about the less fun parts of your life though n’ my dad says you shouldn’t really keep everything to yourself all the time cos it ends up hurting so I thought I’d write anyway n’ just force myself not to worry about being boring or whatever. Your letters and your life always sound so exciting compared to mine though so sometimes it’s hard not to!!

I got in a fight at school which sounds like it should be an exciting story, but it wasn’t really. There’s this kid called Levi in my class that always picks on me (don’t worry though, I don’t care about that) and I couldn’t be bothered listening to him anymore so I hit him a couple times, I thought he’d hit me back but he just freaked out so I sorta felt bad about it afterward. He still makes fun of me but he doesn’t get up in my face as much so that’s a plus. Who says violence doesn’t solve anything? Hahaha I’m kidding! It wasn’t nice of me but maybe he should know better than to push people around so much.

I’m looking forward to summer so I can wander off a bit more and maybe it won’t rain so much! My mom doesn’t really like it when I go too far but as long as I’m back before curfew she tries not to freak out about it which is nice of her cos she knows I like to explore n’ stuff. I shouldn’t complain about my family cos I love them n’ stuff but I like being on my own sometimes and it’d be nice to have a bit of peace now n’ then. I’ve got SUPER good hearing so it’s hard to find anywhere quiet in my house, especially cos there’s always something crazy going on. My aunt Alma is sorta similar to me so she’s been helping me block out the noise with this meditation sorta thing, I guess it’s hard to explain but it’s not as lame as it sounds, it’s kinda fun to see how long you can stay in your own brain without people interrupting you. That probably sounds really weird but maybe you sorta get what I mean?

I finally have a treehouse now too!! It reminds me of your watchtower in some ways, but I guess it’s no way cooler than that, even though I know you’re bored of it by now. I wish we could hang out in it together cos it’s super awesome! Mom n’ dad don’t really bother me when I’m up there n’ my brother n’ sisters can’t manage the ladder yet so it’s all mine! It’s right at the bottom of the garden and looks out over the whole Bay too! Mom said she might let me sleep in it once it gets a bit warmer! It’d be cool falling asleep to the sound of the waves.. I hope it doesn’t end up making me need to pee all night though haha!!

Wren’s been obsessed with watching me play on the computer recently and I keep tryna teach her how to play herself but her little fingers can’t really reach all the buttons on the keyboard too well and she gets stupid mad when she dies so she just makes me play instead. She’d kick me if I told anyone but she’s a bit scared of some of the monsters too lol!! Mom told me I shouldn’t let her watch those ones but they’re the only ones she WANTS to watch and she jumps all over me until I give in so idk what they expect me to do other than lock her in the pantry, but I got told off for that so I guess I shouldn’t do that again haha (Wren thought it was funny though so it’s all good!) It’s a shame you don’t have a computer in the tower otherwise we could play together! Jude n’ Jacob aren’t really into that sorta thing so I usually just play on my own. Do you have a computer back home??

Oh! I got another badge for my swimming lessons too! I’ve almost got em all now which is neat but I sorta wanna avoid getting the last ones cos anyone that gets them all or has good attendance n’ whatever get an award at the end of the school year. They save em all up to give out at some stupid last year disco thing they put on before summer for the last year kids n’ it’d be so cringe to get called out in front of everyone like that. Some people think it’s gonna be amazing like my friend Jude, but I’d rather not go at all. Mom n’ dad keep saying it’ll be fun n’ everyone else is excited about it too but how fun could something be if you’re technically at SCHOOL? Bleh! I know you said you hate it sometimes, but being homeschooled sounds awesome to me lol.

I keep tryna bug my parents to go camping again so we could maybe see each other but they won’t take me out of school for a holiday n’ dad’s too busy with some work project so I guess we’ll have to keep writing to each other instead! Maybe if I keep annoying them about it we can come back in the summer! I hope so anyway but I guess I don’t wanna piss em off TOO much just in case my plan backfires or something.

I still feel really bad about not writing sooner but my dad said better late than never so hopefully you’re not too upset with me! I’ll try my best to write faster next time so you don’t have to wait as long. I’m looking forward to hearing about everything you’ve been up to!! Love Robin c: ps. my dad’s friend finally helped me fix that old polaroid so I’ve sent you some random pictures I took to test it out! I’m still getting used to it but the next ones will be better, I swear!

… the treehouse! it even has cool lights on it!! the back of our house! it’s so big it’s hard to fit in a picture.. it sorta looks fancy but it’s not really n’ dad said it was cheap cos it was a shithole a rare Byrd! (grumpy too – dad tried to take his dummy off him lol) he’s not supposed to be on my bed… the Bay! Jude says I sound girly for saying it’s so pretty here but I don’t care I could take a million pictures of this place n’ never get bored (I’ll stop now though cos mom says these polaroid things aren’t cheap for this model.. oops lol!!)

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

orphaned cannibal adoption AU- Charlie BURSTING in the hotel front doors, striking the iconic lion king pose, and proudly presenting the cannibal kid to the other hotel denizens

Charlie: "GUYS OH MY GOSH LOOK LOOK LOOK!" (waggles the kid happily) "A KID!!!!!!!!! Kid, say hi!"

Cannibal Kid: “Hi…”

Husk: "What the fuck is this? Child labor??"

Vaggie: "No."

Cannibal Kid: (dangling in Charlie’s grip) "I'm VERY high up right now."

Charlie: "Do you like it? The hotel? The high up-ness? The other people living here? We can change ANYTHING you like! You are my child now, and I'm melting like silly putty in your tiny, tiny hands!"

Angel Dust: "Thrillin', toots. Who carried."

Cannibal Kid: "Small hands are useful for getting things out of tight spaces."

Charlie: "I did!"

Vaggie: "Do I wanna know what kinds of things you usually get from what kinds of spaces?"

Angel Dust: "Huh. Would'a thought it'd be Vaginal Area over here."

Cannibal Kid: "Internal organs. From still warm bodies."

Vaggie: "Great."

Charlie: "I carried our new kid here ALLLLLLL the way from Cannibal Town! On my shoulders! Just like how my dad used to do with me!! Only I didn’t turn into a horse or a kangaroo or-"

Niffty: "Aww, that's a long way to walk!" (raises hand) "THEY CAN SNACK ON MY HAND IF THEY'RE HUNGRY!"

Vaggie: "Niffty, Rosie packed a lunch."

Niffty: "NOOOOOOOO...!!!"

Vaggie: "And it's adoption, Angel Dust you asshole. Also try keeping the swearing to a G rating okay."

Husk: "You fucking first."

Vaggie: "Fuck."

Cannibal Kid: "Don't worry. Auntie Rosie taught me to only put nice things in my mouth."

Charlie: "Ooooh like candy?!" (realizing cannibal) "Or, wait-"

Cannibal Kid: "Like eyeballs."

Husk: (SNORTS)

Angel Dust: "Ouchie~"

Vaggie: "What? What? Wanna share something with the room, dingbat!?"

Angel Dust: "I meannnnnn- 's not like you're exactly well equipped to feed your new kid, are ya Vagginator? That's kinda... EYE-ronic."

Husk: (snorts so hard his fur fluffs up)

Niffty: "I have an eye I HAVE AN EYE!!! It's BIG and ROUND and-"

Vaggie: "No."

Cannibal Kid: "Aw."

Niffty: "MOTHERFUCKING DAMNIT!!!!!"

Vaggie: "Oh for- Husk, just, break a bottle and let Niffty have the glass or something. This is too much sudden family bonding happening right now."

Husk: "Let me fucking empty one first." (starts chugging)

Vaggie: (SIGHS)

Charlie: "Right." (lowers kid to eye level) (her eye level, not vaggie’s) "Have you ever heard... of gummy worms?"

Cannibal Kid: "No. But I ate someone named Gary Wormwood once."

Charlie: "That's pretty close!"

Vaggie: "Sweetie, no it's not."

Charlie: "Vaggie, as the mothers, our kid's 'best so far' is always more than good enough for us, it's AMAZING."

Cannibal Kid: "He wasn't that great."

Angel Dust: "Leavin' totally mid Gary to rot somewhere back in creepy Cannibal Town, what's the name of your own sweet little murder baby?"

Vaggie: "..."

Charlie: "...."

Vaggie: "Uh.... Charlie, are you gonna...?"

Charlie: "I mean you're the one who clicked with them, I thought you'd be doing the big introductions!"

Vaggie: "I'd love too, sweetie, but I don't actually... y'know."

Charlie: "What?"

Vaggie: “…um.”

Angel Dust: "...you don't know their fuckin' name, do ya?"

Charlie: "WHAT!?"

Vaggie: "It, it never came up! I thought I'd find out when you said it!"

Charlie: "I THOUGHT I'D FIND OUT WHEN YOU SAID IT, TOO!!!"

Angel Dust: "Oh fuck me with a plastic dick- Neither of ya's gay morons know's the kid's name???"

Cannibal Kid: "It's Annie."

Charlie: "!! ANNIE IM SO SORRY MOM WILL NEVER NOT KNOW YOUR NAME EVER AGAIN-"

Annie: "Short for Annabelle."

Hotel Crew: “……”

Vaggie: "....like, Annabelle the… cannibal?"

Annie: "Tragically."

Charlie: "Oh but that's. A. Lovely name."

Annie: "My dead parents thought they were both really funny." (flat stare) "They weren't."

Angel Dust: “Sucks to be you, kid. Sorry ‘bout your old man and lady.”

Annie: “It’s okay. They didn’t own a hotel.”

Charlie: “Ahhaha! This is a horrible thing to say, but- I feel like your FIRST life changing experience with us will be learning the true meaning of family!”

Annie: “Since you’re the princess of hell, what does that make me?”

Vaggie: “A normal kid who’s mom is princess of hell.”

Annie: “Dang.”

Angel Dust: “Oh I’m gonna LOVE bein’ your uncle! You’ve got piz-zazz don’t ya~?”

Annie: “No.” (pulls Razzle out from under their coat) “His name’s Razzle.”

Angel Dust: “That ain’t exactly what I meant-”

Annie: “I know. I was just being funnier than you.”

Husk: “Ha! Now this is MY kinda kid!”

Angel Dust: “Yeah sure whatever, I’m still gonna be a waaay cooler uncle than you, so… uhhh… Vaggie-boner, why’s your girlfriend making that noise?”

Vaggie: “The ‘eeeeee’ing?”

Angel Dust: “Yeah.”

Vaggie: “It’s one of her happy sounds.”

Angel Dust: “What the fuck is she so happy about. Didn’t she get over the whole burst of motherly endorphins thing while signin’ adoption papers over in Eats-your-face-burg?”

Vaggie: “I mean, you did kinda just make it sound like you think of her as family.”

Angel Dust: “Of course you gays are family! What the fuck???”

Husk: “….you fucking idiot. Now you’ve made them both cry.”

Niffty: “I wish that was meeee…”

Annie: “I think they’re tears of joy." (dabs tear on finger and tries it) "Tastes like it, anyway. Too sweet.” (pulls face) "Blegh."

Niffty: “Emotional pain from the AGONIZING realization of everything that’d been CUT AWAY FROM YOU LIKE A KNIFE TO YOUR HEART at the same moment someone VIOLENTLY SHOVES a brand new PAINFULLY BEATING HEART into the EMPTY CAVITY that used to hold your BRUTALLY CRUSHED DREAMS… can be fun too…”

Angel Dust: “….”

Husk: “….”

Annie: “Aunt Niffty, you’re so cool.”

Niffty: ���Really!? I’m also gonna let you play with KNIVES!!!”

Angel Dust: “-no, no you won’t. No. Both of ya’s listen carefully- the word of the day is ‘N’… ‘O’.”

Annie: “Knife starts with a ‘K’.”

Husk: “He wasn’t spelling knife.”

Annie: “He could've been if he’d started it with a ‘K’.”

Charlie: “YOU ALL ALREADY S-SOUND JUST LIKE A FAMILY WAAAAAGH!!!”

Annie: "So is this the true meaning of family?"

Vaggie: "It's....close enough."

Annie: “Okay. I like it here, tall mom. It’s soggy, because you’re crying on me, but it’s nice.”

Charlie: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- YOU CALLED ME M-MOM-”

Vaggie: “There-there, sweetie. Maybe try to not break our kid’s eardrums on the first day?”

Husk: “You’re still crying out of your one fucking eye-”

Vaggie: “Shut up.”