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[amethystamanda]

Final Report on Infancy of Gurjin Aryahsa, First Offspring of Qhesreia Aryasha (First Generation Sixami Explorer)

Identification scanned. System access granted to Qhesreia Aryasha of the Sixami Exploration Corps.

Calm

Weak Alien Bloodline

Left-Handed

Feeding Tinkler

Messy Eater

Early Riser

Loves

Mashed Peas

Likes

Peanut Butter Puffs

Dislikes

Crushed Carrots

Milestones Achieved

Learned to Reach

Learned to Grab

Put Toe in Mouth

Learned to Clap

Learned Pincer Grasp

First Visitors

First Bubble Bath

First Bath

First Diaper Blowout

First Baby Food

First Finger Food

Lifted Head

Rolled Over to Back

Rolled Over to Tummy

Learned to Sit Up

Learned to Creep

Learned to Dance

First Smiled

Learned to Coo

Learned to Laugh

Learned to Babble

Physical chararacteristics

Mid purple skin tone

No hair or head extensions

Rounded head

Green back and front spots

No teeth

Purple-red-green eyes

Average weight

On track to meet or exceed all expectations.

End of report. Report submitted by Qhesreia Aryasha to Sixami Royal Council on the fifth day of the third sim week. Photo for requested identification attached.

Provisional approval granted by the Sixami Royal Council. Identification provided, pending parent's signature.

(Featuring Ravasheen's Sims Portrait Maker/Photographic Memory Mod, combined with tray importer to get the picture for the ID. CC under the cut for infant and toddler)

Both:

Alien Bloodlines by: @baniduhaine Link: https://www.curseforge.com/sims4/mods/alien-bloodlines

The Historian Palette Skintones  by: @fridays-sims Link: https://fridays-sims.tumblr.com/post/632242938957758464/the-historian-palette-skintones-so-i-fell-in-love

Interstellar Alien Spots by: @pyxiidis Link: https://pyxiidis.tumblr.com/post/166301660956/interstellar-alien-overlays-by-pyxis-a

Infant

Family Pride V2 by: @needleworkreve Link: https://www.patreon.com/posts/family-pride-v2-84718442

BG Fur Booties (IU) by: @sims4sue Link: https://sims4sue.tumblr.com/post/718210877439049728/infant-essentials-a-set-of-10-essential-items-for

EP13 Tank & Shorts (IM), EP13 Sweater & Pants (IM)  by: sims4sue Link: https://sims4sue.tumblr.com/post/721045373570973696/its-a-boy

Ariadne Dress V2 by: @adjusted-karma Link: https://adjusted-karma.tumblr.com/post/730007011174039552/babys-first-halloween-curseforge-dl-patreon

EP13 Plain Short Sleeved Onesie (IU) by: sims4sue Link: https://sims4sue.tumblr.com/post/718210877439049728/infant-essentials-a-set-of-10-essential-items-for

BG Plain Socks (IU) by: sims4sue Link: https://sims4sue.tumblr.com/post/718210877439049728/infant-essentials-a-set-of-10-essential-items-for

CAPPED SHOES [INFANTS] by: @onyxsims Link: https://onyxsims.blogspot.com/2023/03/capped-shoes-infants.html

Toddler

Random Pacifier 2 by: @simiracle Link: https://simiracle.tumblr.com/post/165149946706/random-pacifier-3t4-30-swatches-credit-goes-to

Iconic Pacifier by: sul–sul Link: https://love4sims4.tumblr.com/post/156224903243/sulsul-iconic-pacifier-female-male

Happy Fall Socks by: @powluna Link: https://powluna.tumblr.com/post/666860437566046208/happyfall

Toddler Socks WMS by: @biffybobs Link: https://maxismatchccworld.tumblr.com/post/179114158380/biffybobs-bgc-toddler-ankle-and-knee-high-socks

Strange alien cyber-head for toddler by: zaneida-and-sims4 Link: https://zaneida-and-sims4.tumblr.com/post/185596637748/the-weird-cyber-head-is-cool-i-think-it

IP - Toddler Spring Dungarees by: @infinite-plumbobs Link: https://www.thesimsresource.com/downloads/details/category/sims4-clothing-male-toddler/title/ip-toddler-spring-dungarees/id/1592363/

Denim Overalls by: marvinsims Link: https://marvinsims.tumblr.com/post/155850494180/denim-overalls-my-first-cc-for-toddlers-i-love

Toddler Onesies by: @georgiaglm Link: https://georgiaglm.tumblr.com/post/155982528288/toddler-onesies-i-converted-these-onesies

Rainy Days Boots by: powluna Link: https://powluna.tumblr.com/post/679537137228677121/rainydays

littledica’s vans shoes conversion by: @casteru Link: https://casteru.tumblr.com/post/693931205998067712/casteru-shoe-conversions-tou-toddler

Wendy Sneakers v1 Toddlers by: @dissiasims Link: https://www.thesimsresource.com/downloads/details/category/sims4-shoes-female-toddler/title/wendy-sneakers-v1-toddlers/id/1587584/

Baby Bowlers by: @storysims Link: https://www.patreon.com/posts/baby-bowlers-26009638

Top Kimi Separated by: casteru Link: https://www.patreon.com/posts/80763982

 Tee recoloured in AMP by: @fiftymilehighclub Link: https://fiftymilehighclub.tumblr.com/post/637797223445495808/sweet-baby-layette-a-recolor-set-for-toddlers-in

[customknitfactory]

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S2M Knitwear Maker https://sweater-manufacturer.com producersweater@gmail.com

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[igiveanf]

Spring Clothes Fitting Too Snug? DO THIS NOW.

Maybe you're feeling a little like our fur baby, Daisy - spring is coming and spring clothes aren't fitting quite like they used to.

(In this case, what actually happened is our 11 year old son grossly underestimated the size of our dog when he purchased her sweater) - but you get my point.

Colder weather prompts hibernation mode and that usually means we are more likely to be found curled up on a comfy couch in a warm room rather than going for a walk or a bike ride.

It also could mean we are consuming more comfort food. Snacks, alcohol, chips and fast food all tend to increase over the winter months.

Throw in less sun (lowered vitamin d stores), and this combination is enough to increase body weight and de-energize even the most energetic people.

So, what's my suggestion?

Well, here's what I won't do; I won't tell you to go out and buy a new wardrobe because that's not necessary (though it is for Daisy, she definitely needs to size up!)

Instead, I'll tell you that weight loss is easier than you think. We tend to overcomplicate it and put too much pressure on ourselves in the process but it really is a simple undertaking and one that requires just a few minor changes.

Below are three things you can start now that will ensure that your spring wardrobe fits you better than Daisy's new sweater.

1. MOVE MORE. I'm not telling you to do endless hours of exercising. I'm telling you to integrate more movement into your daily living in 10-minute increments.

For example, in the morning, go for a 10 minute walk. Take a 10-minute lunch break and do the same thing. Then, in the evening, just after dinner, before the relaxing begins, take another 10 minutes to move your body. This could be anything - a walk, skating, snowshoeing, or playing outside with the kids - some kind of movement needs to happen in the evening.

Studies show that increased movement throughout the day is the difference maker for most weight loss goals.

2. EXERCISE. Okay I didn't say no exercising in the above, I said no to hours and hours of it. Here is the fact; you NEED to exercise. I NEED to exercise. We all NEED to exercise, for the purpose of improving and maintaining our health. 20-45 minutes, 3-4 times a week is plenty. It doesn't have to be big to be good.

If you've fallen out of a regular exercise routine, now is the time to get back into it. BEFORE spring arrives.

Establish something manageable and then ask a friend or family member to either join you or hold you accountable - a coach at New U Studio can do that for you, too.

Like it or not, we all need accountability because we are all going to face a time when we aren't in the mood to exercise, or when life's to-do list piles up sky high and we just can't seem to fit it in.

That's when we need that person in place and ready to remind us to DO IT ANYWAYS - even if we don't want to or can't seem to find the time.

Oh, and while I have you on fitness, you've gotta lift some heavy stuff. Cardio alone isn't enough to support your bones or metabolism. You'll need weights AND cardio to get the best results - a little yoga in there is good for the mind and body too.

3. EAT BETTER. Choose healthier choices, especially in the evenings. I'm not saying you need to diet, or live ridgedly on chicken and broccoli, but I am saying that evening calories are notorious for being the unhealthy ones.

"I can be so healthy throughout the day, but as soon as after supper hits, the train is off the tracks."

Sound familiar? You're not at all alone. And guess what? You absolutely still can have a snack, but hear me out on this and please make a plan for it.

Decide for healthier snacks during the week, for example, popcorn, veggies and hummus, nuts and seeds, fruit and greek yogurt, and then pick one night to have your favorite chips or chocolate.

This way you still get to have what you love but you're just not having it all the time. Moderation is important and often times we let things slip beyond moderation and we simply have too much of the not soo good stuff. Bringing things back to a balance with your food choices as best you can will pay off.

Oh, and water, water, water - it's what you're made of so like it or not, YOU NEED TO DRINK LOTS OF IT.

These three changes will go a very long way, not only for your waist line but also for your mood, your energy, and your mental health. It's honestly an all-around win.

Remember, if you're struggling to get started, please ask for help. There are so many people that would absolutely love to join you in refocusing on healthier living, and there are so many people who would love to help you do it, myself included.

But if you don't ask, you don't get, so ask!

Happy almost spring.

Yours in health,

Alison Brown

[changlicious]

🍯SKZ REACTION: their s/o brings home a rescued kitten 🍯

i hope you guys enjoy it !!

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CHAN:

- hmmm

- would probably try to be strict at first >:(

- but then would immediately be like “okay fine we can keep the cat”

- would be glad that you’d have company while he was at the studio <333

- “y’know kitty you’re not so bad after all.”

MINHO:

- absolutely 100% let’s you keep it

- spoils the living hell out of the cat

- brings his 3 cat bbys over for “play dates”

- “okay you three absolute sunshine’s, be nice to the new one!”

CHANGBIN:

- hesitant are first

- only bc he wants to make sure you guys can properly take care of the kitten <33

- like shots, food, etc

- ends up waking up to a face full of fur

- “don’t tell y/n but i was going to keep you anyways..”

HWANG HYUNJIN:

- kind of like chan

- “y/n love, darling, i love you to death but can we really take in a cat?”

- you’d immediately have him sold at, “baby it doesn’t have a home though ):”

- loves the cat sm and naps with them all the time <33

HAN JISUNG:

- helps you carry the kitten in 🥺

- agrees to keep it as long as he gets to pick the name (he was going to keep the kitten regardless <33)

- scolds the cat like a child whenever it scratches up the furniture

- “listen here fredric, be nice to mommy while i’m at the studio okay little buddy?”

LEE FELIX:

- absolute sweetheart

- ends up being the one begging you to let him keep the cat

- cuddles with the kitten while playing video games <33

- proud cat parents with you <33

KIM SEUNGMIN:

- like changbin, kind of hesitant

- eventually comes around after a while of having the cat

- cackles whenever the cat does something that annoys you bc he finds it funny <33

- but also scolds the cat dw <33

- “baby don’t they look so cute with that sweater!”

YANG JEONGIN:

- cutie!

- honestly gets attached in 2.5 seconds <333

- looks up where to get literboxes n stuff <33

- “y/n baby can you look up what brands are good for them to eat before we call channie-hyung?”

{SPECIAL}

KIM WOOJIN:

- lets you keep it as long as you promise to take care of the kitten <3

- loves the little cat sm )):

- honestly good luck having any time with the cat-

- “it’s mine now babyyyyy”

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CREDITS TO GIF MAKERS

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[MASTERLIST]

[weeklyfangirl]

Frat Boy Pt. 21

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7 (1), part 7 (2), part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13 , part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19 , part 20

HI LOVIES. Please enjoy a Friday update on the Frat Boy universe. This one is a bit of a breather after the TUMULTUOUS ANGST of the last chappie. Shorter than my usual, but it’s all the chapter needed. Tons more y/n and Harry interaction on the way in the next! Have a safe and happy day loves xx

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Things I want:

Live a life that helps others

Financial freedom

Experience a great love

Visit the the Pincio Gardens in Italy

To have more dreams and fewer nightmares

Doodle more

Acquire a first edition book, either because an old  friendly man who owns an antique bookshop decides to give it to me in a bonding moment, or because I have accomplished #2 and I am celebrating being a Boss Bitch

To be happy

Please note: not necessarily in that order

 It was taped above my desk, waiting for me to bring it in to the next session. I hesitated to write number 6. It was a dream I hardly entertained after committing my scholarly life to pursue medicine. I used to love to doodle. All the time. Since elementary school. I doodled so much my mom dedicated a wall in the house to my illustrations. She hung a sign above it that affectionately said “Y/N’s Doodles.” Seriously, you couldn’t get me to stop. Even if it was gross sappy sketches of my crush Billy who I would NEVER show on the playground at recess.   

 My doodling stopped how these things normally do. Because life grew busier than anything else, and the sketchpad and easel my dad had bought for me at a garage sale became ignored, collecting dust in the corner of my room. At some point, it’d become a year since I’d drawn anything, and then it was two, and three, and by this point I’d realized I was the one who’d need to create her own stability in life and medicine was the more logical fit. It wasn’t that I didn’t see the value in drawing anymore, I just had other things take up my time. It became a comfort just knowing I used to draw. Paul had paved his way, and now I was on my way to do the same. At least with medicine, my soul felt fed. It was almost comfort enough. 

  “oH WE GOT A ROGUE ONE.” 

 A flying toenail hit my eye. 

 “WHAT THE-” I flailed my arms, as though there were a thousand more coming. Renny’s mouth opened in shock, her guilty body hunched over her bent leg. Clippers in hand.  

 “Sorry!!” Renny burst up laughing.

 “oH MY GOSH CAN YOU DO THAT OVER A TRASH CAN OR SOMETHING?!” 

 “IT HAD A MIND OF ITS OWN!!” she screamed back. 

 I blinked rapidly, my left eye watering up and spilling painless tears. “Well I’m going to have conjunctivitis at the studio later. Or I’ll be stumbling in blind.” I wiped it away.

 I heard another clip and she put up her hands with another giggle. 

 “All done. And you won’t stumble, I’m going to be there.” Renny extended her leg, her perfectly trimmed foot nearly touching the ceiling.

 “You’re just going to solicit Zayn to be his next subject.” 

 “Maybe,” her grin grew devious. “But also because I want to see if he captured the angelic beauty and complex nymph nuances of my best friend.” 

 I put a hand to my chest, still aching from uncertainty. “Honored.” 

 “Want to watch another episode until it’s time to go?” 

 This whole lazy morning had been an OC Housewives bingefest. She’d seen it on my homepage and had a complete spazz, twitching whilst proclaiming but i’ve been trying to get you to watch this show for YEARS!! When she saw the old season I was on, though, she didn’t have to question why her pestering had miraculously worked. She didn’t mention him aloud besides giving me a pointed look. And so, we watched it, even though I wasn’t really in the mood to see anything about Harry right now. It’d hurt more than I thought to walk away from him last night, and to see how sad he looked when I did. 

 After last night, he hadn’t posted anything to social media. He’d called, twice, but I knew he was drunk, or worse, and I was tired, and whatever he would say he could tell me in the morning. Even though I knew he wouldn’t. 

 And he didn’t. 

 And therein lay the problem. 

 It hurt to see his family on my little box of a computer screen, weird to see his life and get glimpses of his childhood. I felt like a hacker spying on home videos. But then I reminded myself that thousands of people had already done the same. At this point, it was just… morbid curiosity.

 “Nah, I don’t know if I can handle any more of that right now. Dr. Rhinecuff is going to yell at me if I don’t return these scanned copies to him by Monday.” 

 “Ew, he smells like meat.” 

 “RENNY!!” 

 “I’m just saying. That one time I went with you it smelled like pastrami in his office. He has a PhD, but isn’t with-it enough to buy air freshener.”

 “He likes pastrami sandwiches, let him live.” 

 She scrolled on her phone, not bothering to respond, and my gaze turned to the window. 

 “Hey Renny?” 

 “Hm.” 

 A bird flew close to the glass, halting just before it hit it, then zooming off in the opposite direction. “What’d you do when your parents were fighting?” 

 “Ummm…” I knew the question registered in her mind when she stopped scrolling, suddenly concerned. “Are your parents okay?”

 “Yeah. I mean, kind of.” I glossed over it, not caring to get into the bitter details. “I was just curious.” 

 “Uhh..” She plucked at the soft cotton of her cotton candy pajamas that were fraying at the knees. “I lost my virginity to Zach,” she half-laughed.   

 “Zach? Neighbor boy Zach?” 

 Renny nodded. She always sounded a little sad when she talked about him. Zach was the hot college boy who shared a backyard fence with Renny, the girl who may or may not have used her kitchen stool to peak over and see him workout on the grass every summer he came home. I’d known they’d slept together. I just didn’t think he was her first. 

 “I just tried to be out of the house as much as I could,” she said. “Found my true love Mary J.” 

 “Oh.” 

 “It was shitty, but I’m glad I got it over with.”

 “The divorce or your virginity.” 

 “Both,” she chortled. “Why what’s up? Are you sad or something? I have a j in my drawer.” 

 “No, no, I’m fine.” Mostly I was just wondering what it must be like to feel so sexually liberated. In my house sex wasn’t talked about. At all. The inevitable sex scene in every other movie would result in my dad blaring out “WHAT KIND OF MOVIE IS THIS!” in an attempt to make it less awwkard, but having it backfire and only make it horrendously more awkward. I wasn’t saving my virginity for anyone in particular, but after all those romance novels, I wanted it to be… something. I wanted to feel something towards the person where it would justify something I’ve kept to myself for so long. I wanted it to be intense. I wanted it to be like the books. Like a Frank Sinatra song that swept up your heart and transported you back to a time of gentlemen and cigars and women in long evening gowns with fur coats and martinis. 

 “I wish I could just get it over with,” I confessed. One half of me screamed YOU’RE IN YOUR TWENTIES HAVE ALL THE SEX while the other half said YOU’VE WAITED THIS LONG DAMN IT HOLD OUT A LITTLE LONGER. I didn’t know which part of me was compromising more. 

 Renny leaned in, quick. “Would you do it with Harry?” 

 Like the flip of a switch, I remembered the sensuous heat of his body against mine, wrapping me up and pressing me against him where we just fit. And I couldn’t imagine how much better it’d feel to be even more connected to him. 

 “Maybeeee…?” 

 But then there was last night. 

 I cringed. No matter how with me he’d seemed… he couldn’t have been present after mixing whatever the hell he took and a handle of alcohol. Did I really want someone like that? Someone who could only give a shell of themselves? 

 “No, I wouldn’t. Or- ugh, I don’t know. I don’t know if it could ever mean as much to him.” 

 Renny nodded. “I mean, don’t let him pressure you, obviously. If he does, I’ll kick his baby maker smack into his prostate. Prostate. See, anatomy. You taught me that.” 

 “Haha, no, he’s not like that.” My brows stitched. I was confused why he wasn’t more like that, actually. We’d known each other for several months now and he hadn’t even put a finger in me. When I thought about it, it actually frustrated me. Don’t pressure me to do anything, but I wanted to be pushed to do something. I was never the bold one in areas like this. 

 Not that I should be so willing to do anything with him anymore anyways. Something shifted in me when I’d seen him last night. It wasn’t a shift I could easily describe, but it’d set me a foot apart from my heart. A bit of me was shocked that it had happened so suddenly. 

 But this shift was new, and my heart still wanted what it wanted. I knew that if I watched any more OC Housewives with Harry’s toddler curls and surfer tan, I’d be sucked right back into speculating about what our future kids could look like. And if I saw him? 

 You were right, Harry. You are fucked. 

 I cringed again. That was harsh. That was very very harsh. 

 I didn’t know if I’d have the courage to apologize. What if my pheromones went berserk and magnetized me to his side??

 Renny was right.

 I needed therapy. 

 The clippers were tossed back on my desk.

 “Thanks,” she said. “Have you started on your DG Double P yet?” 

 DG Double P = Renny Speak for DG Pretty Please. 

 I groaned. “No. I don’t know how I’m going to do it, honestly. I have to-”

 “NO!!! Don’t tell me. We’re not supposed to tell each other.” Her hand extended in panic.

 “Fine. I can keep a secret.” 

 I was getting a little too good at that lately.

 She moved onto her belly, splaying her arms out in a dramatic fashion, face squished against the comforter. “Isn’t it just killing you inside.” She was dead serious. 

 “Yeah, more than you know.” 

 And I was serious, too. 

 --------------------------------------

 I wasn’t expecting people to dress up as much as they did. Donned in my only pair of yoga pants and a chunky white sweater, I walked arm-in-arm with Renny past girls in cocktail dresses and guys in button-downs. 

 Something that sounded like a baby’s cry filled my ears, but it was gone as soon as we walked through the doors to the on-campus gallery.  . 

 “Woah did you hear that?” 

 Renny nodded, tossing her head back. “There’s a baby somewhere.” 

 It reminded me of the bodiless screams in my nightmare. In my chunky sweater, I shivered undetectably.

 The on-campus gallery rotated exhibits throughout the year, but this time, student sculptures were on pedestals, nightmarish portraits hung on the walls, and red and orange tapestries swooped down and across the ceiling in a cirque-du-soleil moment as if to secure us beneath fire. Some students had separate booths, but other pieces of work trailed seamlessly into the next. 

 A tree made from photographs and newspaper took up the center of the space. Zayn had been so adamant about his muse having life, I wondered if that was the focus of this exhibit - to capture natural life. But I suppose all art did. 

 “It’s the circle of life exhibit,” Renny stated, as if reading my thoughts. 

 “How’d you know that?” 

 She held up a pamphlet she must’ve grabbed from the entrance. 

 I quickly scanned the room, hoping to find Zayn quickly so I could skip out just as quick. 

 Several of my professors were here, including Dr. Rhinecuff. When he saw me, I raised my hand, but he raised his cup of red wine awkwardly and looked away. 

 My hand wavered. 

 Odd. 

 Zayn was standing by the tree, speaking with an older woman. Her skin was a rich brown, short hair hidden beneath a chic scarf. The man beside her looked around the same age with graying facial hair, a pocket hanky, and beaded bracelets. Art professors. 

 I caught his gaze, and he gestured me over. 

 “Y/N, these are my instructors. David and Ebony.”   

 Their eyes lit up in recognition. “He did you a great justice,” David said, gray moustache twitching with the words.

 Ebony beamed. “Oh yes, a piece was already sold. He’s going to be the next big wig before he graduates,” she gushed. “Zayn, I’m sure you’ll be splitting the profits with the heart of the piece.”

 She gestured to me and his smile widened, but my stomach sank faster. 

 “I didn’t know these pieces were going to be sold.”

 Ebony sensed my concern. The wine in her glass swirled. “We thought allowing the pieces to be shown and auctioned was a good way to replicate what many of them should be doing once they graduate. The whole department gets involved, and these kids put in a lot of work, and the reputation of starving artists isn’t something we want to buy into here.”

 I nodded. “I mean, that’s great. That’s… really amazing.” 

 Zayn couldn’t meet my eyes. He knew. He could sense my hesitance, too. 

 “Now he can finally afford a nice dinner to take you out!” David proclaimed. 

 We were all quiet for a minute. “You know, for a thank you dinner,” David covered up. Zayn’s brows scrunched and he shook his head a bit, not knowing where David’s comment came from. 

 “Do you do this regularly?” Ebony asked, steering the conversation away from an awkward moment. 

 My ears pricked up when I realized she was looking at me. “Excuse me?” 

 “Well I was just thinking…” a light laugh lifted as if her idea would be outrageous. “Would you mind sitting in for one of my classes on Monday? Our model had a sudden death-” 

 “My God,” David proclaimed. 

 Ebony waved her hand. “-in his family. I haven’t called to replace him yet.”

 It quieted as they looked at me, waiting for a response. “Oh, I don’t… I don’t usually do this. At all. It was a chance thing.” 

 “Luck be the artist.” David raised his glass. 

 Ebony followed suit, looking at my empty hand. “You just going to let her stand there without a drink?”

 “Yeah, Zayn. What kind of treatment is this?” I teased. 

 He did a slight bow. “Apologies. We’ll walk to drinks, immediately.” He pulled us away, leading us further into the showroom as his head dipped low to my ear. “Renny just passed us to meet Felix and them. They’re through here.” 

 We stepped under an archway that led into a darker-lit room, but his hand stopped me beneath the nook. “Did yeh notice anything?”

 Yeah. I was noticing how close we were in this archway. He saw my eyes start to squint in thought and he turned me around to face the room we’d just left. 

 “Look closer.” 

 My eyes roamed the crowd, trying to find some sort of person, or pattern he could be referring to. With a brief seize of my heart, I expected to see somebody from the gang. 

 “Look at the artwork, Y/N.” His breath warmed my skin. 

 The paintings all seemed to be bright, though sticking to red, orange, blacks, and grays. Wait, forget a pallette pattern. The next painting had blue and purple, too. One sculpture looked like a writhing ghost, twisting and reaching for something above. Or maybe it was an unearthed tree root. Despite all the bold colors, there was something off-putting about how bright they all were. It wasn’t a soothing brightness. It was almost violent. The orange and red writhing tapestries warped the ceiling into something hot. 

 “Is it hell?” I chortled, but quickly quieted. I expected him to take offense, but his hand went lightly around my waist with a small smile.

 “Could be. See-” his arm extended out to scan the perimeter “-all this art is supposed to represent death, but challenge the notion of it through color.” 

 “How so?” 

 “Yeh know it’s usually your blacks, and your grays, s’depressing shit. But we’re born from death. Before life, there was nothing, but something. It’s bold and necessary and there, and no one really knows whatever comes before. Or after.” He looked at the room, taking a sip of wine. I watched as he swallowed, and I imagined the wine running down. “What is death but an uncertain existence.” He said the thought almost happily, looking at me with a slight smirk. “Could be anythin’.” 

 He took a deep breath, letting his hand touch the top of the archway. It was then that I noticed it wasn’t just plain drywall. A collage of photographs ran all along the inside. 

 He wasn’t as tall as Harry, but his hand still reached the top, scuffing across a picture of an African landscape taped over a toddler eating fruity pebbles. 

 “They’re pictures. Everyone donated one,” he said. 

 A strand of words were painted over the collage, running from one end of the archway to the other, and I tilted my head back to read it. “Things... that…. make... m..e …...feel alive.” 

 “Everyone was able to design their space in order to control, to some extent, how their art was perceived. Everyone was a part of the transition space.” 

 “Very nice,” I noted, slightly put-off. I hadn’t been expecting this art show to be so… professional. “Zayn, this is amazing. Like, really, truly, professional-grade stuff is happening. The presentation, the pieces, everything.”

 His smile grew wider, putting cool hands over my eyes. I flinched, but let him. 

 I felt him come closer. 

“Listen now,” he urged. 

 I listened, but I wasn’t sure for what. There was the familiar busy rumble of people mingling, parents visiting their kids, and professors droning on about the talent of their students. But it was chatter. I couldn’t make out one conversation over another. I shrugged up against his other hand that was atop my shoulder. 

 “Sometimes you need to change where you’re planted to understand.” 

 I hoped he could see my cross expression because I couldn’t tell if he was bullshitting me right now. It’d been a day. It’d been a night. And I wasn’t in the mood for more philosophical ramblings - especially about death. “I don’t know what you mean,” I sighed. 

 “Meaning I have to move you closer to the speakers.” He let out a breathy laugh. “Jus’ keep your eyes closed, okay?” 

 I nodded. His hand moved, tilting my head to its side. Eyes still closed, I became self-conscious imagining people trying to move past me, and here I was, planted, eyes closed in the middle of the archway. My cheeks heated. It was unnerving knowing people could see me when I couldn’t see them. And anyway, I must’ve looked ridiculous. 

 “What do you hear?” he urged. 

 “I hear a lot of people talking,” I griped. 

But right when I was about to open my eyes-  

 I heard a familiar chirping through the chatter. 

 “Birds?” I opened my eyes. 

 “Observance can be taught, sometimes.” Zayn leant back, looking mighty proud of himself. 

 “Why are there birds?” 

 “We’re entering life,” he smiled, backing into the space. I tipped my wine back, several long gulps lightening my step as I followed him. Immediately, I noticed much more natural, earthier tones. For being a room of life, it was surprisingly darker than the prior room.

 Renny, Felix, and Andre were huddled in the center where a makeshift wall-on-wheels covered in vines divided the room in half. 

 My eyes widened, trying to adjust to the dimness. “It’s a lot darker in here.” 

 “All intentional. They decided to play with light in here. People usually think of life being bright ‘n that, but it’s also when we experience varying degrees of darkness. There’s a balance to things and the trouble is finding it.” Understanding laced his voice as his dark eyes bore into mine, almost completely black. One look from Zayn and I was reminded of all the weight I’d been carrying. I fidgeted, uncomfortable seeing myself in his eyes. 

 “Y/N, get over here!” Renny called. My shoulders visibly relaxed. My saving grace. “You didn’t tell me you did this,” she said lowly as soon as I got close enough, shocked excitement barely contained. Her giddy smile gave it away though. “Miss sexy secret keeper over here.” 

 “What do you mean?” 

 She playfully poked my sides, but Andre and Felix avoided my gaze. Something wasn’t right. And it stirred my stomach, my body already knowing, somehow. 

 I turned in slow motion, the charcoal drawings in my peripherals stopping me in place. Framed amidst the vines, my face was etched onto paper, scrunching and twisting in various expressions. But my body was attached and twisting, too. And it was bare, bent over, spread out, laying down… My eyes scanned over them a dozen times in a second. 

 I was naked. 

 In all of them. 

 One was titled “21st Century Love.” In this one, I faced the viewer, but looked past them, sorrowful eyes, brows furrowed, breasts I’d never shown on full display. A hickey or two on my neck. A painful sting gripped my chest. I looked sad. I looked so sad.  

 Tunnel vision, a blurred Renny rushed down to the floor, and a distant part of me registered something wet splatter on my feet. 

 The wine had dropped.

 I’d dropped it. 

 I was trapped in a shell. My body was numb. 

 “Babes, you okay?” Renny asked, her voice somewhere far away. Somewhere outside the shell, her voice drowned in the busy rumbling, with the birds, with the watchers. People were watching me now. I was being watched. “Felix, grab some towels!” she barked. 

 I looked horrified, towards Zayn, but changed my mind just as fast. I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t even breathe. 

 He didn’t know me at all. He could stare at me for a thousand sessions and paint every crevice, sunspot, blemish, and mole and still not see me. How was an artist this blind? How could he not know that this was the last thing I could ever want? How could he picture me so… intimately?

 The paintings seemed to swirl into one before bouncing back out into their separate exposees. 

 Because that’s what it was. 

 An exposure. 

 A stranger could pay to have me in their home. 

 The floor spun, vision spotting. 

 My lungs tightened, tearing me away from Renny, from Felix, from Andre. From Zayn, the artist who painted a confused girl so unashamed. So honestly. Savagely and Unabashedly. 

 “I didn’t want this.” 

 And it was when I was halfway out the door that I realized the voice had come from me, a mantra pushing my shell all the way home. 

part 22

[theres-no-protocol-for-this]

Kitties Afoot

At some point, this started a discussion about Murderbot in the present as a cat. It has since become something else entirely, and I don’t regret a thing. So, I guess, stary kitty meets almost-stray human.

There’s more written, but I haven’t edited the rest and I’m not sure I trust Tumblr with anything longer.

I came home to find a giant, scrawny feline curled up on my front porch. The black and gray creature lay on top of the welcome mat with its paws tucked under its shivering body. It looked huge for a cat but not big enough for a mountain lion, and it didn’t look like a kitten. The strange animal was malnourished; as I approached, I could count the poor baby’s ribs with each shuddering breath it took. 

“Shit,” I whispered and checked my phone.

It was well into the evening and getting colder outside with each passing moment. The kitty looked up when I got to my front steps. Bright blue eyes stared at me as the creature scrunched up, making itself as small as possible.

“Hey, it’s all right,” I said as soothingly as I could. “I won’t hurt you. Let me get you inside before the weather turns nasty.”

Not that I thought the cat would understand me, but I was used to talking to animals. Before Tasha had passed away earlier that year, I had always had pets at home. I’d spoken to the family dog as a child and to my ex-boyfriend’s two ferrets. And, of course, Tasha the Princess never shut up. Most days, I still woke up expecting to find her dozing on my head.

I set my backpack on the ground, slipped out of my sweater, and wrapped the warm clothing around the shivering kitty. It tried to claw me through the thick fabric but didn’t get very far, though I caught a good look at its sharp talons. I held it in my arms and did my best to navigate the front door. The cat must’ve weighed twenty pounds, but it was probably all muscle and grump.

Inside, I set it down on a folded blanket on the couch and went looking for a heating pad. September was a little early to be getting out the winter stuff. Still, the kitty wouldn’t stop shivering, and I wanted to warm it up as quickly as possible. 

The furball stayed put and watched me from its new comfortable perch. Its sleek fur was pitch black, the color of raven wings, but its paws were gray, as was its stomach. I couldn’t tell if the cat was male or female, and I wasn’t going to peek between its legs to find out. 

Once I had the heating pad in place, I put a couple of Tasha’s bowls on the coffee table and scooted the table right up to the couch. From here, the kitty had to only shift its weight to reach the water and wet cat food. Everything about the situation was weird, from the cat’s knowing glances to the constant reminders that Tasha was gone. 

I scrolled through my contacts and found the phone number of a family veterinarian. It was too late to call Dr. Hopkins now, but I sent him a quick message and asked for an urgent appointment. If the kitty survived the night, and I had a sneaking suspicion the grumpy monster wasn’t going down without a fight, it would need medical attention. 

The cat shifted restlessly on its pile of blankets, so I turned on the television. Tasha had loved those stupidly endless videos on YouTube where the camera was trained on a tree stump where birds came to feed. This cast couldn’t care less. It didn’t even notice the TV until I turned on a food documentary episode on Netflix.

I went to make myself a snack in the kitchen and noticed the cat half watching me and half paying attention to whatever it saw on the television. Like I said, weird cat.

My home is tiny, a two-story townhome with an unfinished basement that occasionally floods. I’d gotten lucky with the place; I’d been sharing it with a roommate who suddenly had to move cross-country, and she paid for her share of the mortgage for three months. And then I’d found a decent manager job at a local cafe that let me keep the place. 

I hummed while puttering around the kitchen. It was too late for a proper dinner, and I wasn’t hungry anyway. And I couldn’t drink coffee that late in the evening, not if I planned to get any sleep. The kitty drank some water from the closest bowl and then closed its eyes. 

Asleep, it could almost pass for a house cat.

Up close, though, there was no mistaking that it was a wild creature. Its ears followed my motions even while it dozed. I turned up the heater for the night and then sat on the other side of the couch, giving the strange feline plenty of space. To my surprise, it stretched out a bit once I was sitting down like it didn’t mind the company so long as said company kept a respectable distance. 

***

I don’t remember falling asleep on the couch, but that’s where I woke up the following morning. I sat pressed against one of the couch’s plush arms, legs tucked under me. There was a blanket draped over me that I didn’t remember grabbing. The strange cat lay curled up a few inches from my left foot; I could swear it was purring slightly.

As soon as I moved, uncurling my stiff legs, it got up and jumped off the couch. Standing next to the coffee table, it was apparent just how big it was for a feline. It trotted over to the front door like it owned the place. Standing on its back paws, the cat had no trouble reaching the handle, though it didn’t have the thumbs needed to operate it.

I stood up, followed it, and opened the door for it. “You’re pretty smart for a kitty,” I said as it jumped out onto the front porch. “You gonna be OK, little guy?”

“Meow,” said the cat and vanished into the bushes next to the porch steps. 

“Bye, kitty!”

I went back inside but didn’t close the front door. It seemed stupid in retrospect. What kind of person leaves the door open for anyone to stroll inside? But it was Friday and my one day off, so I made coffee in the kitchen and texted with my mother. And maybe hoped that my feline companion might return. 

My mother lives halfway across the country in a memory care facility. I can’t say I love my mother — that would be a bald faced lie — but we still text occasionally. I know that my stepfather is taking good care of her, and I love him dearly. 

That morning, she was showing off a watercolor painting that she’d created that week. She told me she’d never been to the beach before, and I had to put the phone down for ten minutes before I could answer. Mom and I had vacationed at the beach every year while Dad was still alive. She’d painted a sunset over those turbulent waters. 

Sniffling, I cradled my mug and tried not to let the tears fall. I should’ve known better by then, but it still stung every time. 

I was still struggling to keep my composure when I heard the sound of claws on the linoleum. Tasha had loathed coming into the kitchen because it wasn’t carpeted, and the drama queen just hadn’t liked the feel of it under her little kitty feet.

Giant Cat had no such compunctions. It stood a few feet out of reach, watching me with those soulful eyes until I had to look away. Sniffling, I rubbed at my face and forced myself to smile. 

“Hey there, furball. Back for more food?”

“Meow.”

I opened a can of wet food — if I was going to feed this beast, I would need to get more immediately — and poured the contents into a bowl. After setting the bowl on the floor, I stepped away from it and perched on a counter, watching the cat.

I walked over to the bowl, sniffed at it a few times, and then devoured the food like it was starving. When it was done, it licked its lips and, in one mighty leap, jumped onto the counter. Where it sat down and nuzzled the toaster. 

Tasha had never mastered the art of climbing on the furniture. Anything taller than a couch had warranted a loud, obnoxious mew until I came over and picked her up. Not this cat. It seemed perfectly capable of getting up to wherever the fuck it wanted. 

“How about a trip to the vet?” I asked. “Just to make you’re not all scratched up inside.”

“Hiss,” said the cat.

I rolled my eyes and giggled. “Not a fan of vets, huh?”

“Hiss.”

“Right.” I finished my coffee in three big gulps. “Of course not. Though, to be honest, I’m not a huge fan of doctors, either.” Mom had seen so many doctors after she’d first gotten sick that I loathed the smell of disinfectant now.

Kitty jumped off the counter after sniffing at the coffee maker and my box of tea samples and went exploring. Like it owned the place, it wandered into the laundry room and then up the stairs into my bedroom. I rinsed out my coffee mug and followed it, curious to see what it might do next. 

About half an hour later, the cat decided that it had sniffed at those things it deemed essential and returned to the living room. Hopping onto the couch, it settled on top of the blanket pile and stared between me and the television. 

“Seriously?” I asked, choking back laughter. 

I’d never heard of a cat that liked watching Netflix. Tasha had mostly enjoyed shows with bird noises or where things moved. Sometimes, the princess would randomly attack the TV like she hoped to catch whatever she was looking at. Meanwhile, this cat meowed at me unhappily when I turned on a bird video and didn’t stop until it saw the Netflix logo. Then, it focused on whatever action flick began playing and snuggled further into the warm blankets.

“Seriously,” I muttered again, quietly, and stood there by the banister, shaking my head. 

My weird companion spent the next few hours chilling in front of the TV. Its ears would occasionally perk up when a truck passed by, but mostly it watched the show. Have you ever seen a cat watch television? Because, up until this point, I hadn’t. And I wasn’t sure what to think.

Doing chores proved somewhat tricky when I kept casting furtive glances toward the strange creature. It paid me no heed, but somehow, it seemed to know when I watched it with blatant curiosity. Like, my previous pets had been… pets. This hissy weirdo, meanwhile, was something else entirely.

Eventually, I decided that I needed to get groceries and more cat food, and generally get out of the house for a little while. During a nice, long shower, I convinced myself that I was crazy, and there was nothing weird about the kitty in my living room. Then, I came back downstairs and found the kitty nuzzling the TV remote and decided that I didn’t care.

“Wanna watch something else?” I asked.

The cat looked up at me. “Meow.”

It took me a moment to actually look at the TV and realize that the action movie had ended while I was upstairs. Kitty apparently just wanted something else to start playing. Right. Totally normal right there.

“I need to go out for a while,” I said while scrolling through the Netflix menus. The rest came out before I could think too hard about speaking to a wild animal. “I need to pick up groceries. And cat food. And honestly, I’ve worked twelve-hour shifts for the last week and a half, and I’m ready to see something other than more walls. 

“So, let’s get something nice and long started, OK? So you don’t get bored while I’m out. I’m not too keen on leaving the front door open, but the back door’s not locked — I know, I know, bad habit — and you can probably just reach the handle. It’s the pull-down kind.”

“Meow.”

I turned on some kind of drama that promised at least fifteen hours of episodes. “Well, anyway. I’ll be back in a while. Tuna or chicken?”

“Meow meow.”

“Chicken it is.” I was still talking to a cat. Maybe I missed Tasha more than I’d thought. “See you later, kitty.”

[myloveandlifeinlajolla]

I’m really bored so here you guys go!

1. selfie

I never do selfies sorry not sorry.  I don’t do them for a number of reasons.  Some of the reasons I hope are kinda obvious.  I have covered this before and it comes down to the fact that the relationship I am in can lead to trouble for my dad, my sisters, and myself.

2. what would you name your future kids?

I would love to keep the family tradition and either use Gaelic or old french names.

3. do you miss anyone?

Oh man I miss having alot of acquaintances.  I was very popular in high-school for alot of reasons; most not too good.  I miss my sorority sisters.  As you get older you find out everyone grows up at different rates.  I have friends that still party like they’re 21 and I have friends that just graduated and are married, 2nd child and are like mini-van mom life!  I miss always having the option to choose whom I wanted to be like that day.

I miss my sisters sometimes.  I have always seen myself as my sisters’ mom. They are on the other side of the country and they live together so I miss them.  They are getting so close and I miss being part of the stories, the inside jokes etc... it’s sometimes a little hard to be left out.  THEN, they come home and I end up being a driver, cook, maid, and I’m like okay it’s time for you to fly out...NOW! 

4. what are you looking forward to?

I’m at a point in my life where i’m content.  I’m looking forward to creating the house into a home.  I like decorating it.  I’m looking forward to getting the house covered in flowers.  I’m looking forward to working out.  I’m really looking forward to getting my body back.  

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?

Without a doubt it’s Catie!  I love you missy.

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?

Interesting question and I guess I have a very interesting take on it.  I loved my dad forever but there was a time during counseling where we were working on re-aligning the relationship to be more inline with a traditional father/daughter role so we were engaged in alot of behavior modification for me.  It was really hard (and made me really depressed, and self destructive and failed) but or psych was still having me see my “crush” every day but I couldn’t do any of the things that my mom did and I was only supposed to do “age-appropriate” activities.  But the thing was I loved my mom and I loved doing the things she did.  So, life was just hard. Trying to pretend like feelings for someone don’t exist is a miserable experience.  

7. what was your life like last year?

Life has been interesting,  My dad and I are now living as a couple at the house so there were/are real growing pains associated with that.  it’s no longer just his room and my room and we don’t have to sneak around the house.  That stuff is amazing and I love that.  I miss my sisters.  I miss all my acquaintances.  Catie’s husband got transferred out of Coronado and they are moving to the Virginia. My dad’s grandfather died.  Still have no clue where my aunt is.  This is the longest that has happened.  My middle sister quit softball, my youngest sister is like a full woman and it’s scary.

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?

I have cried for just about every reason under the sun.  

9. who did you last see in person?

Dad as he left this morning

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?

I am not good at it at all.  Mad, you’ll know, annoyed you’ll know. Sad, you will probably see drinking wine.

11. are you listening to music right now?

Nope, YouTube is on 

12. what is something you want right now?

Honestly I feel like sex, anal and giving a blowjob

13. how do you feel right now?

Mildly horny and procrastinating writing up three proposals

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?

This morning, I’m a lucky girl!

15. personality description

According to my plum profile I am a marvelous manager, chief communicator, and a decision maker.

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

That’s why I have Tumblr. I can tell everyone and it’s really cathartic.

17. opinion on insecurities

We all have them.  Own them but don’t let them run and ruin your life.

18. do you miss how thing were a year ago?

A little.  Everything seemed just a little bit easier.  

19. have you ever been to New York?

Oh my god yes I love it there!

20. what is your favorite song at the moment?

Memories by Maroon 5, Rebel Girl and  Kiss and Tell by Angels and Airwaves

21. age and birthday? 23 now, July 31st, 

22. description of crush.

Dad was about 6′4 225 he’s about 6′1″/2″ now I think he’s still around 230

23. fear(s)

I never talk about my fears.

24. height

I’m 5′9″

25. role model

It’s cheesy but my dad.

26. idol(s)

I don’t really have any

27. things i hate

I hate shitty people.  I hate mean and manipulative people.  There are nice to your face and shitty behind you.  If you don’t like me just be honest.  We can be polite we don’t have to be friends.

28. i’ll love you if…

I don’t like being cold so if you keep me warm that’s one way.  I like shopping so if you like to go shopping with me that’s a good way.  I love having good coffee and also tea.

29. favorite film(s)

Phantom of the Opera, Sleeping Beauty, Diamonds are a girls best friends, breakfast at Tiffany’s stuff like that.

30. favourite tv show(s)

West wing, how I met your mother, friends, sex and the city, the big bang theory, the office, scrubs.

31. 3 random facts

I was a triple jumper, I have so many bikini pieces I rarely ever wear matching parts, I suck at swimming and look like a dog swimming.

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?

I have a ton of girl friends

33. something you want to learn

I want to learn programming

34. most embarrassing moment

The moment I hooked up with Catie’s crush in high-school and she was about to let everyone at the party know my “daddy issues” were alot more than that.  yeah that sucked.  But he was a giant dickhead so I guess it worked out.  

35. favorite subject 

Biology

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

DREAMS... get married, have children, not be in a secret relationship

37. favorite actor/actress

Reese Witherspoon, and Audrey Hepburn

38. favorite comedian(s)

Ralphie May, Norm McDonald, Jimmy Fallon, 

39. favorite sport(s)

Track and Field, Sailing, Rowing, Dressage, and Surfing I was only okay at Track and Field

40. favorite memory

My prom night

41. relationship status

Taken, and like noone knows,..Sad face

42. favorite book(s)

An honorable Profession, the Great Gatsby, 

43. favorite song ever 

Still gives me chills,  Chi ll bel sogno di Doretta but you really have to be in the mood, 

LA MUSICA NOTTURNA DELLE STRADE DI MADRID. No. 6, Op.30

Pachelbel - Canon in d

More popular stuff is mashups

44. age you get mistaken for

18-20 I have a baby face

45. how you found out about your idol

I just want to be the best me I can be. no Idols.  

46. what my last text message says

To a coworker, “How’s it going?”

47. turn ons

Be nice and kind (especially to a poor/homeless)

Dapper not stylish but classic

Salt and pepper hair

In shape and clean!!!!

48. turn offs

Dirtiness, disheveld, rude, loud and crude.

49. where i want to be right now

I want to be in Manhattan looking out the window onto a city of snow, with dad

50. favorite picture of your idol

nope 51. starsign

I’m a zodiac but none of that means anything.  

52. something i’m talented at

blowjobs! No really I love them.  Also I’m great at meticulous lab work and business strategy.

53. 5 things that make me happy

1. 99% of the time Dad. 2. Being snooty and posh.  I love the opera, symphony, I love getting dressed up, and the whole ritual of it all. 3. coffee and cold misty beach air while im in a warm sweater out by the pool looking at the ocean.  4. shopping, 5. recognized for good work at work.

54. something thats worrying me at the moment

family and I really need to let things go.

55. tumblr friends

Yep got them but I don’t know if they want me to out them here. So you guys get to stay hidden!

56. favorite food(s)

Braised lamb shank is good

57. favorite animal(s)

I love big wrinkly dogs that slobber (WILL NEVER GET THEM) I can’t imagine trying to keep a clean house with fur and slobber!

58. description of my best friend.

What more can I say about Catie, she knows everything and has been my rock since I was 11!  She even planned prom for me which was why I am where I am really.  I mean It helped get us here alot faster.  She is my bestie.

59. why i joined tumblr

This iteration of tumblr has been to talk about what it’s like to be in a real relationship with my biological father NOT some cheesy porno or erotic story.  I try to talk about the real relationship struggles we have.  Answer questions etc... But I guess I am kinda boring because no one asks anymore.  

60. ask me anything you want

[sweaterproducer]

sweater maker

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[smallgayblanket]

New/revised/whatever- List of stuff

Egos (Marks/Jacks) that I have written for or at least actually have thought about HCS/other universes for:  (Just some brief rambles about them, please don't hesitate to ask about them :3)

  -Anti,   Two takes really, I like him soft, like him mean, hes just fun to write, plenty of different ways to spin why he acts out, what he is and all that. My current fav way to portray him is a missing piece of Seans soul, which means hes unstable as a ‘person’ (cough, not really a human but not, not human either.)  And how he has static filled blue eyes but usually hides them with the scary emerald green...

-Jameson,  I will always stand by this kinda universe i created with a friend aages ao that Shawn took away Jamesons voice when being puppeteered by an awful ink creature that shares his body.  Giving Jameson a lovely fear of knives, some scars, and some very damaged vocals..

-Crank, Oh my fucking boi, a near dead human spliced with a bunch of robot parts..human skin tangled with wires and a heart incased in metal..hes a right mess, a voice in his head that makes him feel all sorts of bad.. He tries his best..he cries oil,  I hardly get to write  him but I love him.

-Blank, another big fav oi, black hollow eyes..a tendency to faint... My Hc involves him having been in an accident that almost killed him, leaving him with a very rare heart condition. He also has an aura which..kinda ties into him having a few abilities and stuff. 

-Nes.. He started off as my own kinda Ethan ego, basically Ethan who was mistreated and really lost his marbles..hes great for the real twisted messed up kinda stuff, so dependant on others, a minor murderer, and has been eyed off by a certain ice cream driver for quite some time...

-Were eth,  Okay granted this was literally just kinda an idea that..Eth became a were wolf boi, fangs, tail, ears. Hes just a fun lil pupper

-Eden. Succubus Ethan basically, but well, he again kinda turned into his own thing separate from Ethan. He's got a tail and wings, and hes a lovely lithe thing. He doesnt dare do things without consent, just gets a bit touchy-feely when hes gone without any energy for too long. Very wide stunning saphire eyes. 

- Jackie  Oh my lad..Buff, trans, adorable, sweet. I always love tinkering around with how/what powers he has tbh..and like- I’ve always had the hc that his eyes are lilac?? or gold. Depending on things.. and he works either at a comic book store, a gym, or at the counter of a gas station. Gives the best hugs. Also I love AUS where hes a phoniex because of uhm?? Big fucking red wings??? YES.

-Hen, Getting his accent right is tough but other than that I love writing about the tired doctor living off coffee and ignoring himself in favor of others. 

-Chase The fucking best dad, sunshine lad. Running a vlogging channel and doing his best while combatting depression..I hc him to have chronic fatigue so he has to push himself extra hard. but He does well in trying to get better and look after himself and only slips up like any other helpless human. Very fun to write. 

- Robbie.   Sof.t zombie lad. Drown in a sweater. Stutters and is v quiet. Slow with speech. Struggles to see sometimes. Loves soft textures.Loves attention. Overall soft fucking lad.

-KOTS, To mean known as Simon. Actually v smart, big brain, very scattered n shy and nervous and squirrelish. Loves books n plants, loves nature. Red is his best colour. Warm sweaters and nuzzling and cuddling up. I always get torn between him being a hybrid of human/squirrel or just a lovely soft guy. 

-Yan ! My fem nb/trans gal! They’ll kick ass with their katana, have the hots for Bim, and looove Japanese culture and stuff. Very adorable. Loves pink. 10/10 love to write. 

-Technically I do have a muse for Mark, or..idea? I’m thinking about shoving it into my own oc/thing..but basically he got tortured n abused by Authy so hes not quite like the real life markimoo..just a nervous mess whose dealing with his traumas..

-Bing, Skater lad, yellow/orange eyes, sunflower vibes. Tries his best, clumsy as fuck, great for a laugh when hes not cowering under google. 

-Edward iplier,  Gah my doctor lad.. I have a hc that he Lost arm. In fire..or by dark n wilf.  He has heterochromia too!! One cho ceye one blue one. He is a fucking nerd (Minor adhd lets be honest) He fucking loves space and science and space/science related lights. He has a bat plus with spacey wings. He likes reading, likes being clean and is quite a quiet indulger in food which has left him with a big of a softer figure. Super gentle nature..nothing like the arrogant portrayal we got in some videos. 

-Angus   I love this man!!! Part Aussie, part irish, a whole lot of gruff old dad with a soft spot for nice people and animals, has his own big place, next to a large ass forest. Loads of scars. Loves boots and cameo coloured clothing. A lovely guy when you get past the rough edges. 

Aand onto all my ocs as of writing this (cause you name well know I be writing new ones like..all the time.) 

--------------------

OC’S (My original characters!)

-Jessy, Cowboy-   Choker with gold bell. Lil ears/horns. Spots. Shy but sweet. Hands and feet different colour to rest of skin. Kinda  fur ish feeling rather then just straight-up skin.  Pear shaped figure. Shy lad. Likes to take lots of naps, anxious easily but a big people pleaser too. 

-Ailan and Keros. Moth n butterfly boi.  (Literally just made up with a friend, just a random soft pair of lads tbh nothing too fleshed or spesh)

- Louie - Followed by a dark being/creature/spirit... Yet to determine what else about him, but hes got brown hair, pointed ears and looks lovely in green.

-Quinton  A Hybrid of Demon and Angel otherwise called a Guardian. Quirky, Pan as shit, great dress sense. Extremely calm. Can see auras. Lovely black feathered wings. Bright blue hair.  Kind smile. Works at a little coffee shop in his spare time.

-Ori  Very pure angel boy, previously owned and not very well treated by a god, came crashing down to earth with no memories but his wings intact. Some help him. 

-Lumi  Ghost boy! Died years ago under awful circumstances..now lingers around on earth, sometimes meeting humans who happen to be able to feel or see his presence, he has the ability to make himself solid for short periods of time. 

- Lucio Witchy..dragon soul something or other- Deaf.Paralyzed? In the arms??They might use alot of energy trying to hover around instead of having to use a chair..(I mean how many witches do you see with chairs??).. Although they could not have use of their arms instead, like..paralyzed from the shoulder down- they still have them but theyre effectively useless and easily sore.. (which might make magic really hard, cause theyd have to master it again without their hand gestures.)

- Eztli, Bit of a prick. Basically got cursed to have really weird blood that replished and rejuvinated too fast/too much by a witch he angered. So he turned the curse into a good thing and basically goes out offering himself as a human blood bag for vamps willing to pay in info, items, cash or uh..other services..  

- Gallio Photographer, has hypocalcemia. Haven't really done much else with him tbh.

-Aomi Warlock/witch in training. Downright awful at it. Young and lives in a nice lil cottage outside of the village he was abandoned in.

- Lucas A moonstone gem perma-fusion, he kinda has SPD/DID but he doesn't, cause..hes two gems that became one but not fully. Leaving him to be a bit of a mess and not as strong as other moonstones. 

- Kiyan. A little assistant android!! Created to assist, he can make portals!, He works at a post office. Hes under surveillance by the company that made him and isnt yet aware of many human customs/emotions.. 

- Alex  A very confused, overly optimist Alien who doesn’t know what they are. Come from the planet Eutychia, 4'3. They fucking glow. You know  Kilowatt from space chimps? think that. But hair n freckles and more human and just as  bubbly and energetic. 

-Locus  Mer/Fish boi!  Transparent fins, glowy patches, plays harp + loves music.

-Lir  A Tiny Octopus/Human hybrid lad. Makes little burble and trill noises. Quite harmless. Needs a home. 

Benji (Strawberry shortcake boi- Cursed tape /bandages. Demi half god.? One eye. Uses notes. To communicate but also sign. Really. Good sweets maker)

 Small bois (A collection of tinys because G/T is fucking great okay?)

- Tobias. Literally Made of hair gel. cleary, adorable, aaand Eats soap..amoung other non food items he probably should not ingest but does..

- Hinto  Guy made of foam slime. Very chill n laid back.

- Glowstick bubs. (Alo/aloke -  Green and blue  +  Siro - Yellow n pink.  + Mavi (Vi) Red and silver. + Roxy (Ro) - Orange and  purple )  They’re a cross between glowsticks and lava lamps and its epic- asides the fact they have like.half a brain cell each. Lots of sleeping n lazign around.

- Theo  A tiny ink creature.  A clever little lad, who likes to drawn and write n paint in ink and leave cheeky little black splotches everywhere. A very good writer companion tho. 

- JellyBubs! A collection of tiny sentient jelly babies, hungry lads will raid your cupboards. 

-Miel A tiny little bee boy! Loves flowers <3 

Apocolyse Squad:

The planet Keres,  Left uninhabitable after the invasion that ruined the air and killed almost the entire race.

Sameal o’Ceirin (Being of smoke- partly blind.)

Mallory Thomas (Part cat. Vet, partner to Sam who ends up dying in the canon of their story)

Hamrish Benat  (Hayden. 4 eyes, soft tongue. PTSD. extra tiny heart in wrist. Quite fem/soft. Likes soap cutting vids and stuffed toys/teddies.)

Joshua who cares (An asshole. Staight up. He dies. Fuck him. He sucks ass.)

Andy peters (Strong, kind. Kinda like Tyler shied. Big, tol, but actually pretty soft.)

Adrian  Géarán  (Tail, fire abilities, likes to make little robots. Very weak n has a couple of disabilities that leave him tired n such, which aint great for his esteem or his team when the apoc hits.)

--

Wyatt ???? ?????????????????

Pace- Nerdy. Finds a cat. Observer for the aliens. Is immune to black goop. 

Four - buff. Scary. Deadly. 

Apocolypse Squad Part 2  Small lads who dont derese to be in danger: 

  -Apep, Naga boi  Legs mutate into a cool tail. Hisses, fangs. Adorable loves the sun. bout 20 years old. 

Chris. Camp leader! Biig dad type, redhead, buff, likes gardening and camping, very outdoorsy. Little awkward but great.

Small child Talise- nickname tails? ..   Blind and slightly traumatized by the car crash that killed his mother and ended up with glass in his eyes, very sensitive to noise n textures.     Ends up mutating tails.  6 v young n smol  blocks n colourin

Shirin Parvis. Crystal boi .. trained solider/ royalty.  Tried to warn people before the apoc hit and failed. Now tries to protect the small group of surviors he stumpbles across. 

 Zephaniah, mutation turns him into a  Chameleon basically, just.. a human one. He  Prefers Zeph. Big gamey Nerd-  gets a pet gecko.  16. Quiet. Loves Lazar skirmish and lazers. 

Moyachi, Cactus boi!! Plant bab. Loves water and has clear/lime green tinted aloe/herbal helpful blood. Spikes up at defense from bad people 18/ 19   likes drawing. Pretty grumpy and needs a break.

Colin, nicknames: Coco,  Lady bug lad, who is baby trans  mutation resulted in a weird Red/Orange skin condition basically.  Can predict weather v accurately.       Ballet/dance, 14   Likes cooking. 

Hotaru , Firefly bby  - Glowy bub with antenna,  possibly mutates wings.. Sassy and tired. Turns nocturnal as the apoc progressed. Also becomes Colins first love <3

Zeno  A Siren of sorts.  DC/ hip hopper/   Lost his arm in apoc.  He loooves music alot. Very purple aesthetic and checkerboards.

Liren Pichi, deaf peaches n cream aesthetic boi- Nickname Pichi.  He is alone during the apoc, sneaks aboard and ship and goes missing..

Neighbours AU:

They all live on the homeworld, Ermioni.

Lesbabs:

Blake Aglaia  A human with a gift of being able to put emotions into glass balls.. Red head, quite fem, but gay, sweet, but not mousy. 

Lynx ?? An alien and human, the alien somewhat resides inside its host but they coexist. Sometimes goes feral.  Alien half likes to go by Perse  (Percy)  They have cool looking saliva- viens that run down their arms that are pretty cool- sharper nails/claws. Tendrils. Large ol mouth. Lots of pointy ass teef. Lynx likes to train,go to gym, and kick ass. Big ass butch energy.

Demon fam:

Hyacinth  A six-armed demon with serious parent energy. Big gardener, his body grows flowers depending on his moods/strength of emotions. Purple neck length hair. Great at comfort and cooking. 

Rhys  A Demon with a great curiosity about humans has a sibling, Feri.  Rhys is a big nerd, but very hard to get to know. Not great with emotions, comes across a tad distant and cold without always meaning too. Loves candles and lots of autumn aesthetic. 

Anthos, AKa Ant. Rhys and Hy’s accidentally created/summoned a toddler.. and hes fucking adorable. 

Vato - V   Hy has another bub later on who's more purpley blue with red curled horns and 4 arms.. No tail.. 4 eyes. V cute and inquisitive. Less noisy and wreckless than Ant. 

Roommates:

Douglas Connelly  A regular chubby human bean! Learning to become a chef. He loves food, loves cooking and also loves dancing. Hes a big guy, big cudddler, but a little shy and akward at times. 

Donovan Amores  Real fricking cool and smokin hot Bartender with a love for dogs. Dougs roommate. Has glowing fuckin orbs- donates his heart to a fucking god is smooth as fuck, background heavily Spanish, moved when young.

Haris Alaksim Real name (lost in translation, Huitzilopochtli God of sun and war) ) - A god whom Dono is very close with and donates his heart two one every 3 years during the day of the highest sun. He is a god / Mouros.    Donovan refers to him as “Dios gentil”  or “ Viejo colibrí sabio”   (“El viejo colibrí sabio es un dios gentil” (The old wise hummingbird is a gentle god.)

Donovans Family

Rem (Looks after magical creatures- Cane is from Haris)

Oscar  (Not sure what trinket or power but He’s just a casual store worker w/ good arms. Surprisingly good with knives- perhaps has one from Haris?)

Nicole  (His only sister Makes clothes..possibly got some ability to do with seasons..?  Perhaps earrings or a bracelet from Haris)

Javi  (Makes jam, cute boy, wears cloaks. Maybe has a cute little jar necklace or magic jar??)

Luca (Trans bookkeeper- Talks to Haris most often and likes to ask questions..Has precious books...Possibly a special pen..) 

Forest bois!!

Cypress The soul of the forest - Mentor of Rem. Very calm, very wise. Kinda like master oogway type. 

Unicorn boi, Hes rare, missing a chunk of his horn. Dont hurt him. He doesnt even have a name.

Fyn. Mushroom boy. Protects a gate. Lost his twin during a human-caused fire. Very mad about it. 

Fie. Bat boy. Loves fruit. 

Moh. Fairy/incubus hybrid.  

Tucker. Bunny boi, Best friends with Ainsley. Got some like, punk vibes about him, piercings n such. Not as soft as one would expect but still nice at heart.

Ainsley. Fawn boi, clums, shy, round glasses,  Looks smart but doesn't always know stuff. Very unsure of self. 

Experiment AU: 

Izekiel Iris A being of Paint. Hes made of paint. He has trauma from being experimented on. Slightly depressed. Loves art, loved creating. also regresses to try to deal with said PTSD.  Hard to get to know at first. 

Matty  (Matthew Libelle)   An experiment, part human, part lizard, part dragon. Much smol.  Hes fucking baby and i adore him alot please do ask anything and everything about him. 

Cult bois:

-Nero Aakil   (Means Genius/Orange blossom)   Orange bub  - Leader. Smart. Telepathic link with all cult members.  V corrupted…  (Parents were rich and ignorant)

-Mao Cerise   Pink - Ditzy, Looks after their ‘little bird’ (aka Jey) 

-Jey Michael Cherubim   Fallen angel -  Corrupted..desaturating and weak.. Was summoned by the cult and captured as a trophy. 

-Jaden Hirav  Looks after a garden of plants both harmless and some not for master. Previously Neros old pet..His  The family was alright but he was moreso raised by like his mum and bro. He was kidnapped from his garden and never seen again. The cult ritual to initiate him into the group failed and he was spliced with plants making him near useless to the cult.

-Rowan maverick - Now known as  Rogue- Red. Lost their tongue. Does Not follow orders to the T but gets their job done.   Has another voice/god/soul looking out for them… Very assassin ready, very perceptive. Wants to get out the cult but knows theyre too far in.. Cool glowy words in the air because they don't have their tongue. Possibly only lives of medication and vitamin pills..possible OD? Possible addiction. They struggle alot with it. 

P - Pax -  God who watches over Rowan. Was killed by the Master but their spirt lives on.

Cato.   Purple - Another smart one.. Possible Wiccan?  Sadist. Mean. Tall.  Scary. Abuse. Twisted. Loves being in the cult. Eventually wants to host Masters soul.. 

Gin Short for Ginger but the real name is Xanthe.  Blind. Also another assassin like Rogue but more obedient.  Doesn't talk often out of fear. 

Benjamin Brandy  (Benji. B) is Gins friend, Gin is trying not to get him involved in the cult but was too late as B had previously already been cursed and dealt with mythical beings..

 Silver bub. Demir. A demon summoned by the cult to complete the collection. Wants out, very stressed.  

Adopted AU: (This is like a mess of some of the boys but younger and in a different timeline to their universes smushed together intoa kinda cute school/adoption au idea.)

Matthew is smol autistic, malnourished and heavily abused both mentally and physically, leading to selective mutism and being a small fragile easily tired bab.  He loves hanging in the library once he gets used to going to some schooling. Gets tutored by Chris? Goes to camp and helps around n has fun..

Jaden, loves the school garden, and likes science class. His family is alright, However he ends up mostly raised by his sister? Or brother? 

Iz is the lil art bab, also in foster care of a big family, not so much abused but semi neglected. Quiet.

Nero is the gifted nerdy child..Parents ignorant. They love history and fictional books and reading and learning.

Benji is the slightly older kid whos possibly maybe a little behind or delayed or..something, they help out with other kids as a buddy? They like to do cooking classes.

DA AU

So this Au was like..the Septic tank births all the egos.

Angus first- He has..some kinda strength I imagine/..

Then Anti, Hen, Jackie. Marv. 

Chase -  He kills himself because of Glitch- also falls in the tank a second time and ends up with odd powers. 

Glitch Starts off as very bad and misunderstood. Turns out they were just highly unstable and required medical treatment.  Their real name is Arius and they cant stomach solid foods all the time. Mostly a liquid diet. They have glitchy fits/static seizures. Very unpleasant. Can enter tech, and its not so great, can get trapped. Can absorb certain amounts of electricity because of this they Got hit by  ightning once and has epic lighting scars!! Up arms..some on neck. All over his chest and back. 

Septic clone AU

Sean giving up bits of soul to make clones ends up in coma

Experiments and torture and odd shit with the egos ensues??

Minecraft AU??  

Yeah i had weird ideas for a cute minecraft gang of minecrafters who had accidents involving getting merged/recded with other creatures traits ect. 

Vail.  -Vex / Human

Snow golom hybrid? Or Blaze?

Slimey boi

Kitsune

Panda lad.

Pokebabs au

Mainly for Matty, Iz and Blank.. were they have pokemon forms and when bonded with a human long enough can evolved into human forms?? 

Horned AU  (With Troiseh/Glitch-in-the-static)

Shiro  -Prince lad  (This is their lad :3)

Junji - Battery..whump/slave/lost prince 

Isao Asuka -  Shiros Royal Guard 

Alien AU

Hami if he were..alien instead of being a human in an apoc basically. 

Angel AU stuff: 

Good omens inspired boi

Leo Halvar   Part..humany..demon..Cambion are according to google "In late European mythology and literature, a cambion is the offspring of an incubus, succubus, or another demon with a human, or of an incubus and succubus"

Ryan  Hot archangel guy: One wing, demon hunter thing.. Good kinda reforming from a less nice lifestyle previously. 

Mute angel possibly demon idk- -   Latif? Emmet? Evan? 

Long fringe shy boy-  Cael / Lox

[customknitfactory]

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[kazosa]

A Mutually Beneficial Arrangement - Part 4

Summary: All you wanted was to use your skills in automotive engineering and design to open your own custom car shop. When the rug gets yanked out from under you, one of your regular customers offers you a job that you just can’t resist. Will it stay a mutually beneficial arrangement, or will something unexpected bloom?

Pairing: AU Dean Winchester x Reader

Appearances by: John Winchester, Bobby Singer, Ellen (Harvelle) Singer, Sam Winchester, Jessica Moore, Adam Mulligan, Missouri Mosley, Benny Lafitte

Chapter Synopsis: First full day with the Winchesters. John gets the reader one on one and has a few questions to ask her. The reader meets Sam and Jess. Benny shows up to say hi, too. Dean and Benny have a few things they need to hash out and end up doing it during the annual hockey game.

Word count: 9350 (this is why it takes me so long to update a new part)

Warnings: inappropriate behavior, arguments, language, fluff, kissy-face, implied actions (um, not sure if anything else)

Tagging: @coffee-obsessed-writer   @closetspngirl   @sorenmarie87   @adoptdontshoppets   @parinarain   @his-paradox   @babykalika2001   @docharleythegeekqueen   @22sarah08   @flamencodiva   @mirandaaustin93  @collette04   @maralisa124   @mml232   @sympathyforluci   @superthingsilike  @cartoonki113r   @lookwhatyoumademequeue   @jxnnxbrxwn   @winchest09  (if you want to be added to the tags, holla)

A/N: the secondary banner was made by my bestie @coffee-obsessed-writer and it’s amazing, so I had to include it!

    It was hard for you to sleep. The bed was comfortable enough, but it was so quiet in the house, and it definitely was not your own, familiar, bed. Just when you would be close to finally falling asleep, the wind would gust making the old farm house creak under the strain, starting your cycle over again. Eventually, the storm died down and you were able to get some sleep, but it probably wouldn’t be enough to let you feel human.

    Mercifully, when you woke, Dean was lying on his side facing you, blocking the annoyingly bright light that was streaming in through the windows. The night before, you hadn’t noticed the three smaller windows on the south wall. Six damned windows with nothing but a thin, plain curtain to block the light on the three largest. There wasn’t a thing covering the smaller ones.

    Dean was still sleeping, somehow. His long, dark lashes resting peacefully on his cheeks. The image of Coach Winchester flashed into your mind and what you’d said. You smiled thinking about it and looked at the handsome man lying next to you. I think I have a crush on Dean, you thought.

    Impulsively, you rolled toward him and lightly kissed his cheek. He didn’t stir as you pu8lled away and slipped out of bed. The shock of cold on your bed-warmed body brought you a special kind of hatred for John Winchester. You’d come from northern Minnesota, you hadn’t expected it to be so cold down in Kansas. Consequently, you hadn’t brought a sweater.

    Dean’s duffle was open on the floor and you spotted a cable-knit cardigan stuffed to the side of his bag. Carefully you pulled it out and put it on over your flannel pajama top. An extra layer would be better than going down to the kitchen in just your pajamas.

    Quietly, you opened the bedroom door and slipped out and made your way toward the kitchen. For as late as you all had been up the night before, it surprised you that you could smell coffee and hear the sounds of breakfast preparation coming from the kitchen. You were even more surprised to see John behind the stove.

    “Good mornin’, sunshine,” he said, clearly mocking your surly disposition. “Tough bein’ up this early?”

    “It is when I have a hangover,” you looked at him through squinted eyes. “And I’m not a morning person.”

    “Where’s Dean, he still sleeping?” he asked.

    You nodded. John pulled a pill bottle out of the cupboard over the coffee maker and loudly put the bottle on the island. The pills inside made a terrible noise.

    “Coffee?” he ventured.

    You shook your head, “Water.”

    John had already gotten dishes out for breakfast and took one of the glasses to the sink and filled it for you. While he was doing that, you opened the pill bottle and tapped out three of the pills, hoping that would be enough. John gave you the icy cold water and you downed the pills in a gulp. You wanted to make sure your stomach accepted the new fluid before ingesting more. That Johnnie Walker had been a lot stronger than you had thought it was.

     “Not being a morning person must make work easier. Do you have kids?” he asked.

    You weren’t sure how being a night-owl would make work easier for you. It was too damned early in the morning for mind games, especially since you weren’t in top form.

    “No, no kids. Not even a fur baby,” you answered.

    “How did you and Dean meet?” he asked like you hadn’t already repeated the story at least twice the previous day.

    “Dean needed a tune-up, so he came to my garage,” you felt a little uncomfortable and kept to the basics.

    John was getting food out and ready to be cooked.

    “Do you always date customers?” he asked looking you over.

    You held your glass with both hands and thought about throwing it in his face for what he was implying.

    “No, I broke a personal rule for him,” you said.

    “And now you’re getting married,” he broke an egg into a mixing bowl.

    You left your spot at the island and went to the coffee maker. The cupboard above held the mugs and you got one out, pouring a cup for Dean.

    “I think I’ll go see if he’s up now,” you took the mug and your glass of water and tried to leave the kitchen without further incident. You didn’t have to look to know that John was watching your every move, you could feel his eyes on you as you walked away.

    “Don’t you need cream and sugar?” he called to you.

    “Nope, he takes it black,” you said without stopping. You didn’t want him to see you rattled.

       You tucked your water between your body and arm so you could open the bedroom door. The adrenaline coursing through your veins made your hand shake as you reached for the knob. Inside, the sun had warmed the bedroom and Dean was still lying in bed, huddled under a mound of blankets.

    You put your glass and the mug on the nightstand by your side of the bed. The blankets were still flipped down, and you kicked yourself for not flipping them up before you went downstairs. Any heat that had been there from your body was gone. Instead, you carefully eased yourself up onto the bed, sitting close to Dean and so you could see his face. He was lying on his back now and you were 80% sure he was awake though his eyes were closed.

    “Your dad caught me off guard,” you said softly. “I think he’s got it stuck in his head that I’m a stripper.”

    “He’s a real charmer,” his voice was low, and his eyes were still closed. He rolled partially onto his side and opened his eyes a sliver. “What are you doing up already?”

    “Couldn’t sleep. Too quiet. Too bright.”

    “Too weird?” his eyes opened more.

    “I mean…I wasn’t gonna say it, but… a bit,” you admitted, “and you snore.”

    “I do not,” he said, “besides, you’re the one that snores.”

    “Whatever, I barely slept,” you scoffed.

    “You slept fine in Minneapolis,” he said.

    “Touché,” you said, rolling onto your knee to grab the coffee off the nightstand, “I got you this.”

    He slowly sat up to take the mug from her. He couldn’t believe that he hadn’t noticed the sweet, sweet aroma of coffee sooner. As he took a drink of the coffee, he wondered if maybe he should have a talk with his dad about (Y|N). Even if she were a stripper, she didn’t deserve harsh treatment, and he didn’t want her feeling uncomfortable.

    “A guy could get used to this,” he said between drinks.

    Dean’s hair was all over the place and he still looked half-asleep. The coffee was doing its work, but slowly. His t-shirt was stretched across the broad expanse of his shoulders, and the light from the window was highlighting the fine hairs on his strong arms. You could get used to mornings like this with Dean, too.

    “What?” Dean noticed you staring at him.

    “You’re cute,” you said bluntly, looking at his bedhead and adorable freckles.

    “Shaddap,” he smiled.

    “No, I’m serious. Don’t women tell you you’re cute?”

    “I think I’m adorable…” he took a drink of the coffee.

    “Dean.”

    “I mean,” he shrugged as if to say, ‘look at me’ but continued with,” Yeah, but they’re not usually still with me in the morning, or my fake fiancé.”

    “I don’t know if I should be offended or flattered,” you said then reached for your water.

    “What about you? Any skeletons I need to know about, other than driving a Tesla,” he shook his head, still in disbelief.

    That comment and reaction made you laugh out loud. You had to think on it a bit, but you were pretty sure you didn’t have any other bombshells to drop on Dean.

    “No, I don’t think so,” you said. “Pretty clean. Goody-two-shoes. I do have a pretty big nest egg saved up. I had roommates for years and saved a lot. Plus, my dad left me a chunk that I invested.”

    “Oh really?” he asked.

    “Yes. And I know what you’re thinking. This is just a way to get to my dream quicker,” you explained. “I’ll still give it my all.”

    “You know about the women I see, what about you? What’s your favorite flavor?”

    It was his turn to put you on the spot and it turned out that maybe you did have a skeleton or two. To keep it a mutually beneficial arrangement, you needed to keep up your end of the deal.

    “I do have a particular weakness for bikers,” you admitted. “Not the weekend-warrior type, the break-limbs if you look at ‘em wrong kind.”

    Dean raised his eyebrows at you, “Really?” he drew the word out.

    “Yeah,” you said, “don’t be judgey. Women have needs, too.”

    “And that’s for violent bikers?” he assumed.

    “There’s the judgey part.”

    “What did you get out of that?”

    “What did you get out of dating strippers?” you shot back.

    “You’re right?” he looked into his mug, “I’m sorry.” He raised a hand in surrender.

    “Just so you know, I was treated like a queen. Besides, it never lasted more than a few months, anyway. Club first, always.”

    A few moments of silence passed between the two of you. Both of you thought about the people you’d chosen to be in your lives, knowing that they would never last. That had been part of the fun, but you were also waiting for the right one to come along.

    “Here’s to us and our bad decisions,” Dean raised his mug.

    You clinked your glass against his mug then you both took a drink. You looked at Dean and marveled at your circumstances. Your personal rule about not dating customers had prevented you from even thinking about dating him. Spending time with him over the last few days made you realize what you had been missing. Not with the customers, but with him specifically, though… he did make it clear he didn’t have time for a personal life outside of this week.

    “Here’s to us making better choices,” you said raising your glass again. Dean took the toast and drank with you.

    “You ready for the rest of the day?” Dean asked.

    “Yeah, I’m a little nervous to meet Sam and Jess, though,” you told him.

    He put his hand on your knee, “Don’t be. You survived my dad, you’ll be fine. I’ll be close if it gets hairy.” He patted your knee. “C’mon. Let’s do this.”

    Before he got out of the bed, he turned to you and said, “Is that my sweater?”

    You laughed, “Wow. Took you long enough.”

       By the time you and Dean were ready and heading to the kitchen, Ellen and Bobby were already at the table with two new people you assumed were Sam and Jess. John was behind the stove which had a skillet where he was finishing up pancakes, bacon and hash browns. John, Ellen and Bobby all greeted you and Dean as the two of you entered the kitchen. From behind you, Dean breathed out an audible “whoa” as he realized his brother and fiancé were at the table, too.

     “It’s about time you two showed up. Breakfast is about ready,” John said from behind the stove.

    “Sad when we’re up before you kids,” Bobby teased.

    “Speak for yourself. I coulda stood a little more shuteye,” Ellen countered, grasping her coffee like it was giving her life.

    A very large man pushed back from the table and stood up. You recognized him from the pictures Dean had shown you as his brother, Sam. Dean stepped out from behind you, a smile on his face as Sam wiped his mouth on a napkin and tossed it on his chair.

    “You’re gonna be napping by three, Bobby,” Sam patted the older man’s shoulder as he passed by. He crossed the space to Dean and the two brothers shared a quick hug.

    “I hear I’m not the only Winchester getting married,” Sam said, looking between the two of you.

    Dean blushed slightly, looking bashful, “Yeah, you heard right. Sammy, this is (Y|N), my fiancé.”

    “Hi Sam,” you said, “it’s nice to meet you.”

    The very pretty blonde woman came walking over and you knew she had to be Jess. She looked very well put together for being up as early as they had to have been to arrive for breakfast. You somewhat envied her designer clothes.

    “It’s nice to meet you, too. What a nice surprise,” Sam’s tone was genuine. “This gorgeous creature is my fiancé, Jessica.”

    “Jess,” she said with a smile.

    This sizing up was getting to be a very familiar sight over the last day and Sam and Jess just continued the trend. It made you wonder what John, Bobby, and Ellen had told them in your absence.

    “You two are lawyers, right?” you asked.

    “Didn’t Dean tell you?” Jess asked.

    Of course, they are, you thought. “Yeah, he did. I was wondering what kind.” You were going to need a lawyer to help you get your business started.

    “Do you need a lawyer?” Sam said, looking at you like you were a criminal and you were getting tired of it.

    “Hey,” Dean interrupted just as you were about to set them right, “we can talk shop later. Let’s eat, I’m starving.”

    Dean put his hand on your back to move you toward the table. Sam and Jessica went back to their seats at the table. However, your irritation with the Winchesters was rising. Everyone was assuming the worst of you and you spun around on Dean.

    “Honey? A word?” you gave him a look that said it wasn’t optional. He followed you to a spot just outside of the kitchen in the formal dining room.

    “How the hell am I ever going to get in their good graces if they all assume the worst of me?” you were struggling to keep your voice even. “Are you gonna set them straight? They either believe I’m a gold-digger, or don’t want to believe I could be anything else.”

    “I’ll talk to them, I promise,” he said.

    “I hope so. I’m damn good at what I do, and I’ve never needed anyone to pat me on the back for it, but… I need it from you,” you hated letting the emotion get to you. “At least, for this week.”

    “(Y|N),” Dean held your shoulders in his hands and didn’t continue until you looked up at him, “I promise.” He waited for you to give him a nod, “Let’s go eat.”

       When breakfast was done and put away, you found yourself sitting in awkward silence with Jess. John had taken the boys outside to help him with some chores and Bobby and Ellen had taken off to go do their part. That left you and Jess in the living room.

    “Tell me about you and Sam. How did you meet? When did you know he was the one? How did he propose?” you asked hoping it would spark conversation. Anything had to be better than the deafening silence.

    Jess told you everything. She said how she spotted the tall, awkward man on campus, struggling to get a building door open. He’d been carrying too many books and a campus map. She’d taken pity on him and got the door for him and showed him where his class was. Jess explained that she had friends that went to Stanford the year before and she had visited.

    “Honestly, after that day, he sent me a dozen pink roses and that was when I knew. Guys just don’t do that anymore, ya know?”

    You nodded. Dean wasn’t a romantic, you could tell, but he was also very intimate.

    “He asked me to marry him at our favorite restaurant the night before Thanksgiving…” she went on to tell you every detail Sam had thought of and how perfect everything had all been. Then she showed you her ring.

    “It was Mary’s,” she said with a smile.

    “And what about you?” she asked. “I gotta say, I didn’t think Dean ever thought about marrying anyone after Laura.”

    You knew Dean had almost gotten married once, but you didn’t think he’d ever mentioned her name. It didn’t matter much though, you just rolled with it.

    “It came as a surprise to me, too,” you said. If she only knew half of it, you thought. “We’d gone shopping, had dinner in our room and he asked me. It was really nice,” you thought back on it and how it felt real, even if it was all for show. “Just the two of us, no distractions.” You leaned forward to show her your ring, “This one was their grandmother’s.”

    “Nostalgic bunch, aren’t they?” Jess noticed.

    “We did alright, huh?” you said.

    Jess suddenly shifted in her seat to face you more direct.

    “Real talk?” she asked.

    “Sure,” you nodded.

    “I know Dean thinks I can be a bit of a social climber and that I don’t care about people, but I do. I would really like for us to be friends. If it doesn’t work, friendly is okay, too. Sam won’t say it, but he’s always looked up to Dean and would really like it if they could spend more time together.”

    “I’d like to be friends, too,” you told her. What could it hurt?

    “I gotta know… are you really a mechanic?” she asked.

    You laughed, “I feel like a broken record. I swear, on my life, that is my one, and only, job.”

    “Wow,” she said, sitting back in her seat, “Dean must really be serious. I know you’re engaged and all, but…honestly, you’re the type of woman I thought he would go for.”

    “And what type is that?” you asked without malice.

    “You know, someone not more interested in herself. Someone with a brain and could stand up to… well…this.” She spread her hands wide. “Not to mention, handling Dean. He looks very taken with you. I can’t remember seeing him smile that much. Not in a long time.”

         You didn’t know what to say to that. It wasn’t like you could spill your guts and tell her everything that was going on. Not yet, anyway. It was nice to hear though. But was it really for you, or just the version of you that you were presenting to everyone? Rather than addressing it with Jess, you changed the subject.

    “I suppose we should get out there, huh? Looks like shareholders have been arriving for a while.”

    Out the front windows, you could see people walking with their spouses and families. Cars were pulling up and valets were parking the cars away from the house so as not to distract from the festivities. Jess was looking too and threw a furtive glance from the window to you before giving in. The strange look on Jess’ face made you wonder what she saw, but she gave in quickly enough when she spotted Sam.

    Once the two of you got outside, Jess took off to meet up with Sam and left you near the back of the house where an enormous tent had been set up for the skating rink that had been built for the gala’s week-long celebration. You scanned the faces of the revelers looking for Dean.

    “They’re in the barn,” a man was working on finishing touches for the rink. He was wearing a parka that had “The Cage” printed on the back and some other faded writing that you couldn’t quite make out.

    “Excuse me?” you said to him.

    “You must be looking for Dean or John, right?” the man took off his leather gloves and clasped them in one hand.

    “Yeah, how’d you know?”

    He shrugged, “Good guess. Quite the setup, huh?”

    You had to agree. John went all out, and everything looked spectacular. There was the space for the rink, which had skate “rental” inside. You could hear music playing in there. Not to mention, there were kiosks for foods and drinks scattered about as well as photo booths. There was even a marked path that had signs pointing to all the attractions like the path that led to a sledding hill, the one that led to the pond for “the real skating” as Dean had said, and one that read “North Pole.” And every bit of it was decorated to the hilt.

    “This is incredible,” you said. “The kids must be thrilled with the snow that came last night. Are you working?”

    “Yeah, sorry, I’m Adam,” he said.

    “(YN),” you said.

    “I come down from Hell every year to do this,” he explained.

    “Hell?”

    “Hell, Michigan,” he grinned. “It’s the one perk of living there. My boss wants me to tell people he let me out of The Cage to bring Hell to Kansas.”

    You gave him a questioning look.

    “Moved there a few years ago. Boss thinks he’s funny,” Adam rolled his eyes. There was something familiar about him… “Better get back to it,” he continued. “You have a nice time.”

    “Thank you.”

    Finally, you spotted Dean walking out of the barn, just as Adam had guessed. You gave Adam a wave and went off to meet up with Dean.

       “What the hell is he doing here?” Dean pulled the wheel chocks from the hayrack cart.

    “Working, just like all of us,” John was calm. It wasn’t the first time Dean made it known that he didn’t like seeing Adam. “He’s got just as much right to be here as any of us.”

    “No, he doesn’t!” Dean was so angry. “He’s not a Winchester. You keep pushing how family is important, but you don’t mean your own family.”

    “Is that what this is about? You think Adam has some claim on your inheritance?”

    “Of course, that’s what you think… this was Mom’s favorite holiday and every time you bring him here, it’s not just a slap in the face to her memory, but it’s also a reminder of why she’s dead!”

    John had often underestimated Dean. His oldest son was more observant and smarter than he gave him credit for. It made him wonder when he’d figured it out.

    Dean had never said it out loud. He’d known for years what had really happened to his mother, but he stayed silent for Sam’s sake. With (Y|N) being along, he couldn’t take his father’s two-faced lies any longer.

    “Are you going to tell Sam?” John wanted to know.

    “What makes you think he doesn’t know?” Dean took a second of pleasure from the look on his dad’s face. “I never said anything, but Sam is no dummy. You just keep pushing the button.”

    “What am I supposed to do, Dean? He’s my kid,” John would do what he thought was right, no matter what Dean had to say.

    “I don’t know, Dad,” Dean swung the chocks with such force, they slammed against the wall behind the cart. “Maybe you could get off your high horse for a while and realize that once you push us away, we’re not coming back.”

    John didn’t have anything else to say and Dean didn’t stick around to hear any more if he did. He stalked out of the barn and back to the house as quick as he could. His eyes scanned the crowd for (Y|N). There were a lot of peoples and families walking around, but he found her easily. A woman like her stood out, it didn’t matter how she dressed, people noticed her. He noticed her.

    As he got closer, he realized who she was talking to and swallowed hard. Thankfully, she spotted him and left behind the interloper. She had no idea who Adam was, and he walked away when he saw Dean coming.

    “Hey! Where’ve you been? Ready to get your skate on?” you asked. You noticed the scowl that was on Dean’s face, “You okay?”

    “I’m ah, okay, just getting the hayrack ready for the tractor. Gave me more trouble than I expected,” he didn’t want to talk about what happened yet. He really didn’t want to skate either, not with everyone in the rink. He would much rather take (Y|N) down to the pond. It was further away and would probably have less people.

    You didn’t buy his story for a second. Dean had told you before that he and his dad often did not agree. Though he’d gone to help his dad, you suspected John had done, or said, something to upset Dean. You knew better than to press the issue, besides, you could always ask him later.

    “Okay, are we doing this, or what?” you asked.

    Dean stuck out his elbow for you and walked you to the back of the property, behind the house, to where the rink had been set up. The food kiosks smelled wonderful. Christmas music was playing. Popcorn was popping. Cotton candy hanging in bags for guests. Ciders. Hot chocolate. Any holiday treat you could think of was there. Dean didn’t slow down as you passed by the trailer that had the loaner skates. Instead, he took you to the furthest end of the rink. There were less people there and you could hear him better.

    Sam and Jess were already on the ice and looked amazing. You’d only just met them, and you already knew that they were the couple that did everything well and you either loved them or hated them. They glided gracefully around the rink and you felt undecided on what category you fell into regarding the couple.

    Dean sat on a small set of bleachers that had been set up spectators. He could see Sam and Jess stop to talk to some employees he recognized from the dealership in town. (Y|N) had his attention though. She was leaning on the barrier, her leggings showing off her assets.

    Feeling his eyes on you, you looked over your shoulder at Dean. He hadn’t looked up from your ass yet.

    “Hey, creeper, come be social,” you said, snapping him out of his daze.

    Dean got up from his spot. Sam and Jess had spotted them and were coming over to chat. He leaned his elbows on the barrier next to (Y|N). You noticed that Dean never seemed to feel the cold. He only had on his usual coat and a scully. You slipped your arm under his and took his hand with your gloved one. Dean said nothing, he just looked at you sideways with a hint of a smile on his features. His fingers wrapped around yours, his thumb stroking the soft material of your glove. It was such a small gesture, but it made you feel like you were on top of the world. You leaned into his shoulder, reminding yourself it was completely natural to feel this way.

    “Hey, you love birds,” Jess said as she and Sam came to a stop near you and Dean. “You two look so cute together, are you going to come skate with us?”

    The plan had been to skate, but he’d seemed to have abandoned that for the moment. You waited for him to answer, unsure if you should. When you realized he didn’t know what to say, you jumped in.

    “I think we’ll mingle out here for a bit, grab some snacks, then go skate. I don’t want everyone to see me fall so much,” you laughed.

    “Oh, I’m sure you’re amazing,” Jess responded.

    “If you guys change your mind,” Sam’s words trailed off, letting you fill in the blank.

    Dean didn’t correct you. Instead, he walked you around the outside of the rink saying hello to people he knew and introducing himself to those he didn’t. When he introduced you, he always referred to you as his fiancé. A lot of the people had similar questions. When you’d made a full lap around the rink, you’d answered the same questions two or three times each. One thing you’d noticed was that everyone was happy that Dean had “found a nice girl” and was “finally settling down.”

    With a little more mingling, Dean led you back to the opening of the rink to where the skates were being loaned out and gave your size to the attendant.

    “Figure skates or hockey?” they asked.

    “Figure skates, please,” you answered.

    “Hockey,” Dean said, as if there were no other option.

    Skates slung over your shoulder, Dean led you to the next kiosk. Dean tried to introduce you to the lady who was running it.

    “Missouri Mosley, this is…”

    “I know who this is. Let me look at you, honey,” she said taking your hand. You felt like she was looking into your soul. The corners of her mouth turned up slightly. “Cinnamon roll with pecans?”

    Dean rolled his eyes.

    “Oh my God, that’s exactly what I was going to ask for,” you said.

    Missouri let go of your hand to go fill your order.

    Dean called after Missouri, “I’ll have…”

    Missouri raised her hand to stop him from speaking, “If you think I don’t know what you want by now.” She made a clicking sound with her tongue against her teeth.

    Missouri handed you a plate with a fork and the most delicious looking cinnamon roll you had ever seen, still warm and steaming in the cold air. For Dean, she handed him a similar plate, but the roll was drenched in icing.

    “Cinnamon roll, extra icing,” Missouri said, dryly.

    The look of utter joy on Dean’s face was so unrestrained, it warmed you.

    “Now don’t you mess it up with this nice girl, Dean Winchester. This one can give you a run for your money, but not like the others. She’s different and you know it, boy,” she said to Dean. “She’s the one you’ve been waiting for.”

    “Don’t do that Jedi mind-crap on me, Missouri,” Dean balked.

    Missouri gave Dean a glare before turning her attention back to you.

    “You go on keeping him in line, sweetheart. He might fuss, but he likes it. Especially from a strong woman like you. Don’t let his stupidity push you away.”

    With a glance at Dean, Missouri rolled her eyes this time and made a motion like she was done with him. When you got your wits back about you, you saw Dean already had a mouthful of cinnamon roll and was giving Missouri’s back a dirty look.

    “I’m not stupid,” he said through his full mouth.

    You couldn’t help but laugh. He had icing and crumbs at the corners of his mouth. You pulled off your glove and used the pad of your thumb to wipe away the icing. Without even thinking, you licked the sweetness off your thumb.

    Dean was a little taken aback by (Y|N). He didn’t want to think that Missouri was right about her, but it was hard to deny that he was experiencing growing feelings for (Y|N).

    “I know sweetie,” you said. “Even if you are derpy sometimes, you make up for it with cute.”

    “Hmm,” he finished his bite. “I’m glad you see it that way.”

    The next booth over had the biggest mugs of hot chocolate you’d ever been given. Everything was on such a grand scale, you couldn’t imagine what the actual gala would be like. Finally, Dean took you down to the pond.

    The pond was bigger than you thought it would be. Bleachers were set up on either side. Lights were strung up all around the outside on poles. There was a small shelter at one edge that had a big window in it which faced the pond. At the other end was another small shelter on skids that you knew was and ice fishing shack. When you got closer, there were nets on the snow by the shelter and that the ice had been prepared for skating.

    Dean took you inside the shelter with the big window and turned on the power. The heater came to life and a small radio hummed on the counter. Dean pulled out the two chairs that were used for the game call.

    “Wow, this is cozy,” you said, taking one of the chairs.

    “Eventually, the heater will blow air slightly warmer than it is now,” Dean started right in on his hot chocolate and roll. “Better eat while it’s still a little warm.”

    One bite of the cinnamon roll and you wanted to go profess your love to Missouri Mosley.

    “Oh my God, this is the best cinnamon roll I have ever had,” you said.

    Dean tapped his finger on your mug, not saying anything, just wanting you to try it.

    After one sip, “I’m never leaving.”

    The drink felt like silk on your tongue. The flavor was full and rich with a hint of a spice you were unfamiliar with. And the cream…

    “Paprika,” he answered your nagging question.

    “Mind blown,” you returned.

    Dean licked his fingers before reaching into his pocket for his phone. Not only did it surprise you that Dean had a phone, but it was also a smart phone. He pushed a few buttons and music started playing.

    You were anxious to get out on the ice, so you didn’t waste time eating your roll. It was too good not to devour. When your plate was clean, you pushed your forward and sat back in your chair. You were so full it was tough to get a breath.

    “Maybe we should skip skating. I think I might go over the weight limit,” you groaned and rubbed your belly.

    Dean chuckled, “Benny was out here resurfacing. If it can hold him, it can hold anyone.”

    “Who is Benny, again? Was he your buddy from…high school?”

    “High school, yeah. We were on the wrestling team. Then he worked with me at the brewery. He’s running the floor now,” Dean explained.

    “He gonna be okay with you running the business?”

    He shrugged, “If he doesn’t like it, that’s on him. We got along well enough when we worked together. Guess we’ll see.”

    You squeezed his arm, “Let’s go skate off the decadence.”

    Dean put his music on the PA, and you went outside to get on your skates. Finally, you were laced up and ready to go. The skates you’d been loaned fit shockingly well. Dean, not having any complaints, carefully followed you to the ice. He seemed to be way more confident on the ice than you. AS part of living so far north in Minnesota, for as long as you had, it was practically required that you skate at least once.  Remembering how your last outing had gone, you moved ever so carefully and were grateful for the toe pick, your only source of traction.

    “I’m gonna warm up, you good?” Dean asked.

    George Thorogood was singing about his rent being late…

    You were holding out your arms for balance and getting used to the feel of the blades under your feet again. It had been a long, long time since you last wore any. Concentrating too hard for words, you gave Dean a thumbs-up and he took off doing hot-laps around the rink.

    Liar, liar, pants on fire, you thought as you saw his blur out the corner of your eye. He was way better than he’d let on. You were moving slowly now, but it could be considered skating, at least. The pond was so far out of the way, you could only hear the music and the sound of your and Dean’s skates on the ice. He was slowing down to match your turtle’s pace.

    “Coming up on your left, sweetheart,” he said.

    Gently, he took your elbow, then moved into place to take your hand, steadying you. It took a few strides to fall into step with him before you both moved smoothly.

    “You made me think you couldn’t skate,” you said evenly.

    “I said I didn’t skate on purpose, not that I couldn’t,” he said helping you turn.

    “Man, of many talents,” you mused.

    He chuckled, deciding to not walk through that particular door just yet.

    “What was Missouri getting at?” you wanted to know. “That was one of the weirdest conversations I’ve been part of.”

    “Oh… um…” he didn’t know how to put it. “She’s a bit of a mystic.”

    “She knew who I was and what I wanted.”

    “People talk,” he reasoned. “Missouri only sells cinnamon rolls.” About fifteen different kinds, though.

    “Okay,” you could see that point, “but she said I was the one you were waiting for.”

    Dean’s skate must have hit a hidden piece of debris in the ice because he suddenly lost his footing on the ice, stumbling and pulling you down with him. A moment of stunned silence passed between you. Dean grimaced for a second before opening his eyes to see you looking down at him. The only sound was coming from the PA.

           Baby, you’re all that I want

           When you’re lyin’ here in my arms

           I’m findin’ it hard to believe

           We’re in heaven

    Your hands clutched Dean’s jacket. His body firm and surprisingly warm under you. Maybe the heat was you… Your face was so close to his. His breath still smelled like hot chocolate and frosting. You could see the fine sprinkling of freckles across his cheeks and nose. It would take just a second to kiss him…

           And love is all that I need

           And I found it here in your heart

           It isn’t too hard to see

           We’re in heaven

    The music finally made it to your ears. Your eyes searched into his green ones.

    “Is it Bryan Adams?”

    You got your knees up under you and you sat back on his lap.

    “Are you okay? Did you hit your head?” you asked as he sat up under you.

    “I’m fine,” he said somewhat avoiding your gaze.

    You could feel the ice start to seep into your leggings.

    “Guess we better get outta here before we freeze like this,” you suggested, but you didn’t really mean it.

    Dean looked at you with those eyes that you could get lost in forever. You pulled off your gloves, concerned that he’s banged his head on the ice, you cupped one hand on his neck just below his ear. You used your other hand to run your fingers through his hair and to the back of his head, checking for signs of injury or swelling. He let you do as you pleased, watching you the whole time.

    Dean’s hand rested on your thighs, his hands gripping the muscle there as you ran your fingers over his scalp. You didn’t fight him as his hands traveled up your legs and round your hips to pull you closer to him.

    Your heart was keeping a dangerous pace in your chest as you leaned back to look at him. Hands still on his handsome face and in his thick hair, he looked at you the way you were looking at him. Dean’s hands left a trail of electricity as they traveled up your back to finally pull your mouth to his.

    You closed your eyes and bursts of light flashed against your eyes like fireworks. His arms squeezed tightly around you and you held onto his shoulders so you could remember which way was up.

    “No guests on the ice!” a voice boomed over the PA and it wasn’t one you recognized.

    The rude intrusion startled you both, Dean’s head whipping around to put a face to the voice, though he already knew who it was. You were already moving to let Dean get up off the ice when he helped you slide over.

    “This isn’t done, sweetheart,” he said, getting up off the ice.

    Better not be.

    Dean’s rage was ready to come out in an explosion. The man on the PA was already stalking across the ice to where he and (Y|N) had been before Benny interrupted.

    “What in the hell are you…Dean? Figures,” Benny barked.

    “Just can’t leave anything alone, can you, Benny?” Dean growled back.

    “What the hell does that mean?”

    “You know damn well what I mean. I’m out here with my fiancé, and you gotta come ruin it. You going to try to take her away from me, too?”

    “I am so tired of this shit, Dean. It’s been fifteen years, brother, when are you going to let this shit go?”

    “Let’s settle it once and for all,” Dean looked around at the rink. “Tonight, when we play, winner gets a free slap shot and the loser doesn’t bring it up again.”

    “Are you fucking serious,” Benny was sure Dean has lost his mind.

    “Don’t I look serious?”

    You were watching as this weird interaction played out in front of you. You thought Dean and Benny were friends…

    “Alright…” Benny drawled, “tonight then. Now get off my ice, you arrogant bastard. Ma’am.” Benny nodded at you then walked away.

    “What the hell was that?” you asked Dean.

    When his temper calmed down a little, Dean explained as you went to the shack to get the dishes and his phone.

    “Benny was the reason Laura wouldn’t marry me,” he said.

    “You told me it was mutual.”

    “I thought it was.”

    “So, what happened?”

    “I went on our honeymoon and when I got back, I found out about them. Dad had been working me like a mule and not listening to ideas… I didn’t have time for Laura. It was a good time to go, but not before I told Benny what a piece of shit he was, and he’d never be as good in the brewery as me. It was like he was trying to take over my life. He runs the brewery floor, has my dad’s favor, married my ex…”

    You told yourself that the twist your stomach was doing was the fault of your rich treat and not the stabbing pain of jealousy. It had only been a few days. Your logical mind refused to believe you had feelings for Dean that were more than a crush. That kiss though… that wasn’t lust, that was passion. Your lips could still feel his and you brushed your fingertips over them as you smiled. No, it wasn’t a crush. All you wanted was to kiss him like that again… every day until… forever.

       Jess told you that the hockey game was something they did each year. John and Bobby had only just quit playing a few years prior. It was supposed to be a friendly match-up between the brewery and dealerships. Sam captained the brewery and Dean the dealerships.

    “I have to warn you, the game gets intense,” Jess warned. “They play for two hundred dollars and a vacation day for the whole side.”

    “Two hundred split per team isn’t much,” you said.

    You and Jess were sitting on the bleachers you’d seen earlier with Dean. The lights were on now and gave the pond a soft glow in the quickly setting sunlight.

    Jess touched your arm, “No, no. That’s two hundred per employee plus a vacation day, each.”

    Holy shit. “And the losers?”

    “Fifty and a half day.”

    It made more sense now. You wondered if what plans Dean had, if any, for the business. He mentioned new brews and changing how production worked, but not much of actual business. Maintaining this level of benefit and showiness would really hurt the bottom line at the end of the year. You could help Dean with managing the business, but after the week was over, you’d be out of Dean’s life again and you wouldn’t be able to help him at all. Maybe you could change his mind.

    You continued to chat with Jess until the game started. The roar of the crowd shocked you. The bleachers on each side were full and people were standing around the edges to watch. Once the game got in full-swing, you realized most players wore minimal padding and no helmets. The lack of protection didn’t lessen the players’ intensity, they were ferocious. Dean and Benny took every chance they got to land a blow on the other.

    It was exciting to watch the game. There was plenty of action and Dean was playing aggressively and it was hot. When there was a break between periods, you went to the concession area to get a snack. If everything was half as good as what Missouri had made, you couldn’t possibly go wrong.

    You found a stand that had the best smell coming from it and got in line. Jess had gone to talk to other people she knew leaving you to get food on your own. You didn’t know anyone there and Dean was doing team things… So, when you felt a hand run across the full length of your ass, you didn’t think, you swung your elbow back.

    “Whoa, darlin’, just checking out the goods here,” John indicated the concession menu.

    You didn’t believe him for a second. He continued despite your glare.

    “I checked on a place called “Chuck’s Garage” in Bemidji, couldn’t find one,” his tone not accusatory.

    Of course, you did, you thought.

    “Well, I’m not surprised,” you told him, stepping forward in the line.

    “Why would you lie about where you work, hiding something?”

    It was beyond annoying now.

    “No. Its actual name isn’t “Chuck’s Garage,” I just call it that because I refuse to call it “Heaven on Wheels.” Next time you want to check up on me, google my name or Chuck Shurley. Better yet, just ask me.”

    “I’d ask Dean, but I don’t think he knows you all that well.”

    “He knows me better than almost anyone,” you weren’t lying. You’d told things that even Donna didn’t know. You moved forward with the line again.

    “I know Dean want to run the brewery. And I know he would go to any length to get it, including a ploy to make me think he’s in love,” he kept his voice low so only you could hear. “I don’t want hand over my hard work to a man not in a stable relationship.”

    “Is it really so hard to believe that your son could be in love with me, or I him?” you were incredulous.

    Your blood was boiling. He had a lot of nerve talking to you like that. Maybe he was protecting his son. Maybe he was protecting himself. You couldn’t even be sure that protection was the motivation. You stepped forward and gave your order at the window.

    “There’s something going on here and I’m going to find out what it is,” he said.

    You took your order from the window and turned to him making sure he, and everyone in earshot, heard you loud and clear.

    “You do what you have to do. But I assure you, if you ever touch me in a way less than fatherly again, next time I will not miss,” you stalked off back to your spot in the bleachers wondering how the hell Dean had a dad like that.

    Jess saw you coming, just in time for the next period to start. She noticed your obvious change in demeanor.

    “Are you okay?” she asked. “You only went to get food, what happened?”

    “John,” you said through gritted teeth.

    Jess leaned back, “What did he do?”

    You just shook your head trying to get the rage you were feeling to subside. John deserved a punch in the face, but it helped that you told him off in front of everyone.

    “He accused me of lying, not being in love with Dean and I’m pretty sure he grabbed my ass,” you seethed.

    Jess was shocked by John’s behavior, but not surprised.

    “Sam told me after their mom died, John changed. He didn’t care about anything anymore. He alienated everyone not associated with the businesses. John wasn’t much of a parent either. The only reason Bobby and Ellen stuck around was for the boys. I’m not excusing him, I’m just saying, he wasn’t always like this,” she paused. “Did you deck him?”

    You snorted, “No, but I wish I had.”

    “I’m sorry. Don’t let him get to you. I can tell you and Dean love each other. Whatever else doesn’t matter.” Jess let a few more moments pass before she said, “Would you and Dean want to get a mani/pedi with me and Sam tomorrow?”

    That made you laugh out loud.

    “I’m down, but it might take a little convincing to get Dean to go along,” you said.

    “I’m sure you’ll think of something,” she said with a knowing smile.

       The game continued with the same aggression as it had in the first period, though dean and Benny were the only ones actively seeking out the other. By the end of the game, you and Jess had eaten all of your snacks and both teams were exhausted and slightly worse for wear.

    Dean was still with his team and shaking hands with the opposing side. The crowd was filing out of the bleachers to head home with the game being the last event of that day. When most of the people were gone, you got up and stood at the edge of the ice to wait for Dean to come over.

    With skates on, he was so much taller than you, he towered. He was still sweating and breathing hard from the game, but it was getting better already. He slid to a stop in front of you, his skates making a “shh” sound as he stopped.

    “Interesting game,” you said looking up at him. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”

    “Yeah, I do. Fair is fair,” he said making eye contact with you. Benny was practicing shots behind him. The brewery had won the game by one goal.

    “Hey,” you pulled his arm to get his attention. “Promise me you’ll let it go after this.”

    Dean just sighed.

    “Fine, be a stubborn ass!” you ranted. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he aimed for your head!”

    One of Benny’s practice shots hit the metal post with a loud clang, and it scared you. You’d heard about people getting a concussion, or worse, from a stray puck at professional games. Dean was going to let Benny take a shot at him, with no padding. The stick cracked loudly with each shot Benny took, sending the puck flying in a blur into the net.

    “Back in a minute,” he said and skated to center ice.

    You weren’t going to watch him get his head caved in, so you started to make your way back up toward the house. In a bit of a snit, you hadn’t paid much attention to who was around.

    “Are you Dean’s fiancé?” a woman asked from the bleachers.

    You nodded, “Who are you?”

    “Laura Lafitte,” she answered.

    For you, it would have been better if she were a hag. Instead, she had a gorgeous olive complexion, complete with dark hair and eyes, her expression not unkind.

    “Am I going to have any problems with you and Dean?” you were blunt. You’d been through enough bullshit for one day and had zero patience for more.

    “No,” she answered right away. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I was awful to Dean and I hope he’s over us now.”

    “It’s not about you, princess. He loves me. He wants to marry me. Dean is upset about the people he loved sneaking around behind his back. He’s pissed that they’re still doing it. He just wants the life that keeps getting taken from him,” you were on a roll, first John, now Laura.

    You looked back at the pond just in time to see Benny at the top of his swing. In a blink, Benny had connected sending the puck rocketing toward Dean.

       “Ow.”

    “Shut up.”

    He didn’t like how vigorous (Y|N) was cleaning the cut on his forehead.

    “Hey, I’m the one who took a slapshot to the head,” he defended.

    “You’re lucky he didn’t kill you.”

    “It only grazed me,” he muttered making a face as she pulled off a piece of dead skin. “Jesus, are you using steel wool?”

    “And who’s fault is it you have this cut, anyway?” she said with a Band-Aid clenched between her teeth. “Don’t you dare say it’s them. This is all you. You’re the one deciding how this all goes.”

    He was sitting on the closed toilet seat lid, the bathroom still warm from his shower. He was pretty beaten up, but no way in hell was he going to tell (Y|N) how much, not with the mood she was in already. She’d insisted on making sure it was his skin that had been damaged and not his “thick skull.”

    During his shower, he’d had a little time to think things over about (Y|N), Laura and Benny. It had been a long time to hold a grudge. He didn’t want Laura. He didn’t even care that Benny had married her and had his old job. He liked where he was, the person he was, and the company he kept. He couldn’t imagine having to spend the last fifteen years with Laura. He just wished he’d asked out (Y|N) when he first saw her.

    “This is the ‘stupid’ Missouri was talking about, isn’t it?” she stuck the Band-Aid to his head with a pat.

    “I saw you take off,” his hands went to the soft fabric at her hips. “I wasn’t sure you were staying.”

    “I didn’t want to see that bear of a man take you out.”

    “Benny’s a teddy bear though,” he pulled her hips and she grudgingly took a small step forward. “But you were there as soon as I opened my eyes.”

    “Just making sure you weren’t dead,” she put her hand on his shoulder.

    Her fingers, gentle now, grazed the bandage, then ran through his hair, coming to a rest on the side, her thumb stroking his cheek bone. He tipped his head slightly, into her touch, her hand warm and steady. It had been a long time since someone cared enough about him to get so mad at him, and that kiss…

    “Look, I know this is all for show…”

    You stepped back from him with a push. You were sure you’d misheard him, but the look on his face said otherwise. Guess it’s time for a three-peat.

    “Oh, now I get it!” you were angry. “Your ‘stupid’ has layers!”

    Your words hit their mark. Dean’s face matched your anger.

    “What?” he stood.

    “Do you see anyone else in here?” you stretched your arms wide in the small bathroom. “Who am I putting on a show for? I care about you no matter what happens at the end of this.”

    “I don’t want this to end!” he yelled back.

    “Well, neither do I!”

    In one long stride, he closed the space between you, gathered you to his body and finished the kiss he’d started with you out on the pond. His strong arms held you firmly to him. He’d grabbed you with such force, you had to hold onto him. It felt so good to have so little fabric between you. His body was still hot from the shower and he smelled wonderful.

    When you parted, he left you breathless and the light hurt when you opened your eyes. Dean reached for the switch and flipped off the light, not letting go his hold of you.

    “So, are we doing this for real?” he asked.

    “Dean, every moment I’ve had with you has been real. I want you in every meaning of the phrase,” you said.

    “I want you, too,” he said, the lust making his voice sound deeper. “And not just…” he groaned softly as you shifted your hips against him, “…oh hell, you know what I mean.”

    He surprised you by sweeping you up into his arms and carrying you to his bed.

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