#general pun placeholder.

[becomedog]

we never finished playing nitw together but "pastabilities" IS a meme in this home.

[autumnalwalker]

The Melts

Author's Note: A while back I had a bit of a ramble on how I wished that it was more common to find examples of human bodies artistically warped into new and interesting configurations presented in a manner other than horror and gave an off-the-top of my head example of a hypothetical episode of a slice-of-life series going on that theme. A couple months passed, and then with Halloween approaching, I decided on a whim to slam out a rough draft of that story over the weekend. So here we are. Summary: What if your entire body slowly melting over the course of the day got treated as being no worse than the common cold and you still have to go to work because you work retail and already used up all your sick days? Wordcount: 5,295 Content Warnings: Descriptions of the sensation of one's body slowly melting into a fleshy pile of goo, various weird anatomical modifications, spider-like creatures crawling all over people, having to go into work while sick.

Mil had the melts.

They became aware of this approximately four and a half minutes after waking up when their hand made an unfortunate squelch sound upon palming their alarm clock’s snooze button.  They held their hand in place in denial for another half minute while their arm slowly stretched and drooped down into the space between bed and bedside table.  They reluctantly opened their eyes and groaned at the sight of the clock’s contour pressing up through a hand whose bones had gone limp and elastic.

It was going to be one of those days.

The thought of calling in sick today briefly crossed their mind, but no, it was close to the end of the year and they’d already used up all of their sick days.  Any more would have to come out of their precious holiday leave time.

It was fine, they told themself while throwing back the covers of their bed and pointedly ignoring how that arm curled back around on itself from the momentum.  It was only a mild case and it would probably clear up by the time their shift was over.  Enough to be annoying but nothing worth making a fuss over.  Unless it was a severe case, but that almost never happens.

As a small mercy, Mil’s legs weren’t as melted as their arm so they only almost fell over immediately upon standing up on appendages that bent and swayed in spots that don’t have joints.  Thank goodness for counterbalancing tails.  People often called their look basic, but Mil preferred to think of it as classic.  Feline ears and tails had been among the first reshapings to see mainstream adoption and Mil had personally always found more complicated additions of prehensile limbs and sensory organs to be a nightmare of overstimulation.  Plus, the ears and tail were a nice aid in emoting to make up for the difficulty Mil usually had with expressing themself by voice and face alone.

By the time Mil reached the kitchen they’d found a workable rhythm to their unsteady gait that managed to keep them mostly upright.  No time for anything complicated for breakfast, and probably best to keep away from the toaster in this state, so cereal it was.  That had its own complications of course - grip the spoon too loosely and its weight would stretch their fingers down and apart, but too tightly and their whole hand would roll itself up and try to retract back into their arm - but several minutes of grumbling around mouthfuls of wheat byproduct and dairy tree milk where enough to convince Mil that it wasn’t really all that bad and that they’d be able to manage at work today.  

They pointedly ignored the ensuing contrary evidence that came in the form of their legs getting stuck on the inside of their pants and rolling up into lumpy balls until they gave up and went with a skirt.  They’d already spent all the time they normally would have devoted to their morning workout on trying to pour themself into a tight turtleneck while getting the right body parts through the right holes.  Supposedly wearing snug-fitting clothing like this was an effective way to hold your shape relatively solid in a bad case of the melts - which Mil definitely (probably) didn’t have - but in practice it was not as useful a tip as its popularity would suggest.

But hey, they were fed, dressed and out of the house almost on time, so that was a victory.  And it meant they were almost on time to catch the tram before it left.  Oh.  Wait.  

It’s fine, they told themself while fiddling with the straps on the mask they’d donned on their way out the door.  It would only be a few minutes until the next tram scuttled up.  They’d only be a little bit late to work.  Everyone would understand.  Afterall, who hadn’t had the melts before?  In the meantime it gave them a few extra moments to try to get their mask to squeeze their head into a less embarrassing shape.  If Mil had to go in sick, it was the least they could do to try not to spread it.  But if they could be considerate while not having their skull get squished in the middle into the shape of a peanut, that’d be great.

A few pats on the side of the face, a push on the the top of their head, some hard nodding, get their fingers untangled from the mask straps aaannnddd…. A plop and a dizzying snap as Mil felt their jaw distend and the lower half of their face slide fully into the mask just as the next tram arrived.  Checking their reflection out in the tram’s shiny carapace confirmed that their head was an acceptable shape.  Maybe a little bit snout-y, but they could write that off as being part of the feline look.  So long as no one saw the mess under their mask.

The good part of being out at the end of the line like this is that Mil almost always got a decent seat on the tram and plenty of time to listen to their audio books.  It almost made up for the long commute.  Of course, today one earbud kept falling off the top of their head every few minutes from that ear not holding its shape well enough and the other one was worming its way uncomfortably far into an ear that seemed to be trying to swallow it through a series of expansions and contractions that mirrored Mil’s breathing.  By the second stop Mil gave up and shoved both earbuds back into a skirt pocket, resigning themself to ride stewing in silence.

That silence only lasted one more stop when the bulk of the other commuters started to pour in.  By the fifth stop Mil was firmly wedged between a shell-backed construction worker and a twelve-armed switchboard operator who had enough respect for personal space to keep those arms wrapped around zemself but not enough to not press three different elbows into Mil's ribs.  Mil tried not to hold it against zem.  It was the morning rush hour.  Getting pressed together was to be expected.  Even if that meant winding up half a foot taller and considerably flatter.  Mil tried not to think about how many people they were spreading their melts to.

At the ninth stop Mil extruded themself from the over-packed tram and toddered over to a bench to catch their breath.  If they were going to be late anyway, what was an extra minute or two to let their shoulderblades stop overlapping and left and right halves of their ribcage stop interlacing?  Just a few deep breaths to puff their torso back out and they were good to go.  They could fix their hair later after they got into a restroom to wash the public transit funk off their hands.

Walking into the store’s employee entrance a couple blocks down the street, Mil was greeted with the terrifying visage of their manager, Baroft.  The smile wasn’t terrifying because of the fangs (Mil had been considering getting some themself for some time now but couldn’t quite justify it with how little meat they ate), nor because of the extra pair of slit-pupiled crimson eyes (pretty standard for those who could adapt to the extra sensory input), nor even for the contrast with the face’s second mouth that wasn’t smiling (that one never smiled, it wasn’t the customer service voice mouth).  No, that smile was terrifying because if Baroft was happy - even worse, relieved - to see them walk in the door late for work, then that could only mean one thing.

The store was short-staffed today.

Mil would have to deal with customers.

Mil was - generally speaking - not good with people even on the best of days, and today was - as the flesh of their hand pooling at their fingertips under the force of gravity like ripening fruit would attest - not the best of days.  Most of the time they got by on trading duties with coworkers to spend as much of their workday as possible on the backend duties; stocking inventory, cleaning, feeding the weavers, updating displays, etc.  If one good thing could be said about Baroft it was that after seeing Mil awkwardly stumble through enough customer conversations and fitting attempts, yt had realized that putting them in a customer-facing role was more likely to lose the store money than earn it.

But now Baroft was complaining about Rangel being out on jury duty at the same time as Kalei being unable to come in due to thons kid pupating, and Paras from the evening shift had called in sick, so Mil could just imagine the sort of morning Baroft has been having, and Mil was going to have to be a team player and pull through just for today all the way through until closing time, and yes there would be overtime compensation once they made up for arriving late, and what’s Mil complaining about it’s just the melts, if they were able to get here then obviously isn’t that serious, now no attitude and best behavior in front of the customers, it was already bad enough that yt had had to call Leolani and ask eir to come in early today.

That last part cut through Baroft‘s blizzard of words and caused Mil’s heart to skip a beat.  Leolani usually arrived just as Mil was getting ready to leave for the day so they didn’t know eir all that well, but the handful of brief conversations the two of them had shared always left Mil wanting to change that.  It wasn’t a crush per say, only that everything about Leolani struck Mil as indescribably cool and made them wish they could be friends and hang out.  Eir jacket covered in punk patches that ei left draped over the chair in the employee breakroom that no one else dared claim.  Eir perfect eyeliner.  The way ei could multitask taking one customer’s measurements while uncoiling eir twelve-foot neck over to help another customer pick out a suit off the rack.  Eir taste in music that had made the basis for the longest interaction Mil had managed with eir.

Under other circumstances, the opportunity to spend the day commiserating with Leolani over being the two youngest employees by a wide margin and how awful the holiday rush that started earlier every year was might have almost made up for having to work late.  Now though, they were suddenly feeling self-conscious about the way their spine had started to go limp in places and force them into a slouch.

Mil’s trip to the restroom to straighten up in front of the mirror was a perfunctory one.  They might have arrived late to work, but no way were they going to be late to feed the weavers on schedule.  Elam - in early and still in nir fall look of leaf-like orange hair and skin covered in gray keratin growths mimicking tree bark - gave a marginally less brusque than usual greeting when Mil pushed aside the heavy curtain separating the dim tailoring room from the shop, even going so far as to offer nir sympathies for Mil’s melts.  Mil’s more solid hand glorped over one of the nutrient slurry canisters on the shelf as they insisted that they were fine.  Just a minor case of the melts that would clear up by the afternoon.

Elam raised a skeptical woody eyebrow and offered to handle the feeding duties today, but Mil declined and stepped into the weavers’ enclosure.  The way Mil saw it, they were something like an apprentice to Elam who had finally promised to teach them how to direct the weavers once the new year rolled around, so any chance to prove themself… well, it wasn’t so much welcome as not something they could afford to pass up.  Experienced weaver handlers were always in demand (as evidenced by Elam being able to afford four full-body reshapes a year just to keep up the image of a tree changing with the seasons), and honestly it was the closest thing Mil had to a career advancement opportunity.  

Besides, Mil genuinely liked working with weavers, they thought as the small swarm of arachnoid bio-tools began crawling all over them to get to the nutrient slurry.  It was important that the weavers were well-fed in the morning before any clients came in for a fitting lest they get either too tired or too carried away with their purpose.  As it was, a few of the weavers must have failed to recognize Mil’s scent and shape due to their illness and mistaken them for a client, forcing Mil to gently shoo the engineered creatures off before the threads of their turtleneck could be unpicked and reassembled into whatever pattern the weavers had last been installed with.  Most of the chittering swarm sloughed off to feed once the nutrient slurry had been dispensed and Mil was able to encourage the stragglers to depart from their body heat without too much trouble.

To Mil’s chagrin, once they stepped back outside of the enclosure Elam leaned over and plucked a weaver off the back of their neck that had pushed their unusually pliant skin into a little bowl to nest in.  Mil’s stammering apology was met with a laugh and an encouraging slap on the back that made their whole body ripple unpleasantly.  Better than a reprimand.

Back out in the main store, Leolani had already arrived and engaged with the first customers of the morning, signing at one with eir hands while stretching eir neck over an aisle of racks to explain the fitting process to another.  When ei caught Mil staring, ei sent the second customer their way.  The next few minutes constituted the first grueling attempt of many that day to talk someone who wasn’t really all that interested (whether due to boredom, intimidation, lack of intent to buy, or just wanting to get their stuff and get out) through pricing options on bespoke versus alterations by limb configuration and fabric type.  Or failing that to sell something off the rack, even if it was just an expensive pair of socks with the store’s monogram on it.  Or failing that at least collect an email address for a mailing list.  This is what made the holiday rush so awful.  The rest of the year most of the store's customers were regulars who mostly had a specific goal upon walking in, but for the next couple of months traffic would surge with only a minimal uptick in actual sales to show for it.  All the same, everyone that walked in had to be treated as a potential new regular just in case.  As if it wasn’t already anxiety-inducing enough to deal with people whom Mil possessed at least a passing familiarity with.

By noon Mil’s ears were pressed flat back against their skull.  In part, this was an expression of their mood, but mostly it was a matter of the ears’ swivel muscles losing cohesion and getting stuck in the last used position.  It was making it a little bit difficult to hear clearly, but they had long since learned the hard way that making a rough guess and sticking to a script tended to be received better than asking people to repeat themselves.  At last the lunch-time lull arrived and Mil was able to steal off to the break room for a reprieve.  It was blessedly quiet in there save for the hum of the refrigerator holding the protein shakes Mil had stashed for days too busy for a proper lunch.  Mil dipped into that stash today.  Their melts were getting worse before they were getting better and the prospect of trying to wobble down the street in their current state to their usual lunch spot where they would surely be recognized struck Mil as lethally embarrassing.  And exhausting.

They took the opportunity to examine the patches on Leolani‘s jacket (draped over eir chair in undisputed claim as ever) while they struggled first with the shake’s cap and then with their mask.  Their fingers weren’t cooperating much at all now, between having gone mostly limp and being plumped up with all the flesh their normally-flatteringly-body-hugging turtleneck was now squeezing out of their torso and arms and into their extremities.  At least one or two of the patches on the jacket had to do with bands, Mil was fairly certain.  Would it make for a better conversation starter to ask Leolani about those bands, or to look up and listen to the music up themself first in order to have something in common?  Mil mulled the question over while nursing their shake.  Better than thinking about the similarities between their lunch and the weavers’ breakfast.

As Mil threw their head back to drain the last few drops from the protein shake’s bottle, they felt their spine come loose and their head just kept going back.  And down.  And around.  Until it bumped into the back of the low-backed chair, upside down and just above their own waist.

They had folded themself.

Mil took a breath, held it, let it out, and came away even less calm than before.  Lungs not making up their mind where they should be will do that to a body.

It was fine.  This sort of thing happened.  Annoying, but nothing serious.

Mil tried to swing themself upright, but it was the sudden lack of back muscles that got them into this position.  They tried grabbing the chair and pulling themself up into an unbent vertical, but the strain just stretched out their hands.  They tried to do the obvious thing and just stand up, but folded like a wet, heavy towel as they were over the chair’s back, they couldn’t get the proper leverage and just scrambled their feet, scooting the chair along the floor with a teeth-itching squeak.

Mil heard Leolani walk in before they saw eir.  Not that they could see much besides the floor behind their chair.  Leolani asked if they were alright and Mil’s mind raced with enough potential responses that it might as well have gone blank.  But then fear of getting stuck won out over pride.  There was no salvaging this one to come out looking cool.

Mil asked for help.  Just a little bit mind you.  They’d be fine if they could just get themself unfolded.

Boots made for digitigrade feet stepped into Mil’s inverted view, followed by a round face with perfect eyeliner that then rotated to match their perspective in a motion that suddenly shifted the impression from serpentine to owlish.  A light joke about the view from down there was quickly followed by a warning that came at the same time as a pair of hands gripping (very literally) into Mil’s shoulders and lifting.  Once ei had them upright ei asked if they were good.  Mil said they were and then immediately slumped forward, overcorrecting and refolding in the opposite direction.

Leolani, neck now coiled up over and around eir own shoulders like a scarf, told them to hang for a minute and then came back with a mop handle and a roll of duct tape.  A comment about a friend of eirs once having done this for eir and an apology about this feeling weird was all the warning Mil got before the Leolani began working the mop handle up the back of their shirt.  Ei called it the scarecrow method of stabilization.  After producing a pair of compression gloves from eir messenger bag and helping Mil get them on, Leolani let them apply the duct tape in private with a reassurance that it was the cheap stuff and would come off after a decent soak in a hot bath, if not sooner.

Trying to walk with the improvised back brace was awkward, but better than the alternative.  Mil shambled out of the employee break room, wondering how much longer their legs would stay semi-solid, just in time to see a regular they recognized but couldn’t put a name to walk in.  Somehow additional legs were far less popular than additional arms, so this regular’s centaur pattern group body configuration stuck out.  Not that Mil knew for sure whether it was hooves, feet, or claws beneath those patent leather shoes and it would be rude to ask.  What Mil did know at a glance was what xe was here for.  The regular’s bat-like wings (aesthetically impressive and flexible enough to clasp in the front and fold into a cloak, but almost certainly not flight-, or even glide-rated) hadn’t been present on xyr last visit to the store.  Now here was something that was as close to Mil’s comfort zone as anything got.

They greeted the regular and went through their mental script for this sort of interaction, making the appropriate vague inquiries about xyr wellbeing, complimenting xyr new wings, trying not to drip on anything as their melts slowly got worse, guiding xem through the booklets of fabric swatches and catalog of styles, and dancing around the fact that they couldn’t remember xyr name for the life of them.  Once the regular made their selections, Mil led xem back to the tailoring room where they handed the selections off to Elam.  Strictly speaking, Mil should have left it be from there and returned to the main display floor of the store, but they liked watching this next part and were even more willing than usual today to take any excuse for a break.  If anyone asks (no one will) they’ll say that they were taking notes.  Or would saying that they were assisting sound better?  Whatever the truth would be on most days, this time Mil simply leaned on a wall for support and watched Elam type in a console to install the selected pattern on the weavers, guide the regular into the weavers’ enclosure, and start speaking in the language of clicks, snaps, and command phrases the bio-tools had been trained on.  What before had been a disorganized collection of individual lab-created arachnoid creatures became a precision swarm washing over the regular (who had been through this enough times not to flinch too much), taking xyr measurements by touch with sensitive legs able to estimate and account for offsets due to the regular’s clothes by pressure and texture alone.  Once each of the individual weavers was in position on the regular’s body Elam snapped nir fingers to send the swarm skittering into a different position, held for a few seconds of processing, then snapped again for a third configuration.  A larger swarm could have generated a full three dimensional scan of a target’s body in one go, but the upkeep costs on swarm size wasn’t generally seen as being worth it just to shave off a few seconds.  A final command word cleared the swarm back into the corners of the enclosure.

Like most customers, the regular elected to come back later in the day to pick up xyr new suit and have any last-minute alterations made then.  As opposed to partially undressing and allowing the weavers to weave the new suit directly on.  Supposedly the latter option would get a truly amazing bespoke fit, but for most it wasn’t worth standing still for an extended period of time with bug legs crawling all over you and working miniaturized biological sewing machines millimeters away from your exposed skin.  Maybe one day when Mil had Elam‘s job and income they could find out for themself.  For now though, Mil simply offered to lend nem a hand with loading in the fabric feedstock to get the assembly process started.  It seemed that pinstripes were making a comeback this season.

The next few hours were, all things considered, not too bad.  A decent portion of customers were regulars rather than randoms, Mil got to watch a couple more sessions of the weavers at work, the one song that they weren’t tired of on the station the store had been running on loop for the past three weeks came on, and - most importantly - they’d managed to keep up something like an ongoing conversation with Leolani in between customers.  Now if only their melts hadn’t been getting steadily worse instead of better.  By the time Mil’s normal shift would be ending they were having trouble standing up for more than a minute or so at a time.  Elam even offered to talk to Baroft on nir way out - ne still got to live at nir usual time today - about letting them go on home.  Against Mil’s better judgment, they turned nem down, citing the appeal of overtime pay and silently fearing that leaving might reflect poorly on their performance or attitude.

So, of course, two hours later Mil’s skeletal structure gave out altogether, reducing them to a fleshy puddle on the floor.  They’d felt it coming on and had just barely been able to make it back to the breakroom and out of sight of customers.  Leolani came rushing in moments later, having seen their attempt at a distressed and hasty exit.  If there was a silver lining to the gross (they were on the floor in a public building) and embarrassing situation, it was that their skirt had flared out enough to preserve some semblance of modesty and mostly cover up the skin-covered blob slowly spreading across the linoleum.

When Leolani asked if they were alright, Mil’s response came out garbled and bubbling.  So, no, not so much.  

After several rounds of “One blink for No, two blinks for Yes,” Mil managed to first turn down an offer to call an ambulance (it might be a severe case, but it was still just the melts; they would sleep it off and be fine by morning) and then to direct Leolani to retrieve their phone and its neurolink adapter from their skirt pocket and attach the adapter to Mil’s forehead (or at least a spot on Mil’s increasingly amorphous form slightly above their eyes).  Neurolinks like this one were a clumsy technology, still in its infancy, so Mil had to concentrate on a single letter at a time for a second or three apiece to make words appear on the screen, but it beat the alternative.  From there the two of them were able to talk - after a fashion - and settle on the plan of laying Mil out in the tailoring room, out of sight of both customers and Baroft.  If Baroft asked where they were, Leolani would cover for them and say that they were handling some task or another that Elam left for them.  Afterall, with Mil only being able to sort of writhe and flop around, it’s not like they were going to be able to get themself home, so may as well just sleep it off here.

Unprompted, Leolani input eir contact info into Mil’s phone before leaving them in there.  Being able to exchange text messages made lying there barely able to move in the dimly lit room for the remaining hours until closing time considerably more tolerable.  Almost pleasant even, despite how exhausting trying to type with the neurolink for extended periods of got to be.  The white noise of the nearby weavers’ chitters and skitters helped.

And then, as the store’s closing time was approaching and the last customer left for the night, Leolani offered to take Mil home instead of leaving them in the store overnight.  Mil could keenly feel the spike in their heart rate at the question rippling through their not-quite liquefied form.  The added clarification that Leolani had realized about an hour ago that the two of them both lived roughly the same part of town with the same tram stop so it wouldn’t be much of a detour for eir to drop them off at their place quickly dispelled the wilder fantasies (terrifying and idealistic alike) that Mil’s mind had started jumping to.

Mil was aware, objectively speaking, that they didn’t really know Leolani all that well outside of the off-and-on conversations about hobbies and interests they’d been having most of the day and that letting someone like that know your address and handing them your keys wasn’t really the smartest idea.  Subjectively speaking however, Mil was tired, young, and platonically infatuated with their cool coworker whom they seemed to be hitting it off well with.

A few minutes later Mil heard Leolani‘s and Baroft‘s voices outside the backroom’s curtain and caught snippets of Leolani offering to close up the store for the night and lying that Baroft had just missed Mil leave a minute ago.  Another minute or two of silence followed before Leolani pushed aside the curtain and strutted over to Mil carrying a large bucket.  It took some doing, but ei got them to fit.  The melts made flesh as compressible as it made it elastic.

Somehow being scooped up, poured into a bucket, and pressed on until they fit was not the most embarrassing experience Mil had been through that day.

Leolani was able to lift Mil’s bucket with relative ease.  Surprising at first, but on second thought, Leolani must have had some manner of musculoskeletal reinforcements for strength and balance if ei was walking around with all that extra weight from eir neck sitting on eir shoulders all the time.

The conversation on the way back home was fairly one-sided.  It was simply too hard to concentrate on typing through the neurolink with all the novel sensations going on.  Sloshing slightly in the bucket as it swung with Leolani‘s gait.  Staring straight up into the night sky (or eir face) while moving.  The uncomfortable warmth generated from being their own folded blanket stuffed in a tight space.  The rumbling of the tram transferred through the floor and sides of the bucket making their whole body quiver and vision blur.  It was fine though.  Mil had never been a big talker and Leolani seemed more than willing to fill the space.  Or was ei intentionally trying to keep Mil distracted from all those other less pleasant aspects of their current situation?  If ei was, it was working.  And it turned out Mil hadn’t even needed to ask about the band patches; Leolani had started talking at length about them all on eir own.  Best of all, stuck looking out of the bucket up at the ceiling like this, Mil couldn’t see anyone else staring at them and could almost pretend it was just the eir and them without the eyes of strangers that had always made them uncomfortable.

And then Leolani was standing at the door to Mil’s apartment, holding their keys.  Ei let eirself inside, carrying Mil’s bucket with eir, found their bed, lifted them from the bucket, and laid them out flat on top of the sheets.  Being exposed to cool air again was a blessed relief.  They would absolutely need a shower in the morning, but for right now they were too exhausted to care.  They tried not to think too hard about how being rather literal putty in Leolani‘s hands felt.

Duty done and aid rendered, Leolani left the neurolink on Mil’s face in case anything came up in the night before they solidified, left the keys on the bedside table, left the lights off, and left the apartment.

On eir way out, ei suggested hanging out together sometime when they weren’t sick.

*******

Mil’s hand made a perfectly normal pap sound upon palming their alarm clock’s snooze button.  Their hand was hand-shaped and none of their bones wobbled.  And why wouldn’t that be the case after a good night’s sleep?

It had only been the melts.

[princelylove]

Have you ever written anything with Abacchio? I feel strong yandere vibes from him. Controlling and mean, not ready to compromise type of vibes. Obsessed yet detached. Would you be willing to share some headcanons with us? Thank you!

I think I did write for him once, but not a lot. In my head Leone and Guido are roommates, and Bruno, Pannacotta, and Narancia live together somewhere else. Bruno’s all “These are my sons.” but Leone and Guido see each other more like a “guy who I happen to live with, mutual trust.” kind of thing. Leone’s a bit of an outsider (Absolutely no one in Team Bucciarati likes cops, even if Leone is an ex-cop.), I think I’m still working out how I’m interpreting him. 

Leone is a cold, mean man. He acts disinterested in you, he might even pretend you just don’t exist. But is that really how he wants to be? I think Leone’s temperament depends on how badly his depression is affecting him, whether you’re in public or private, and how comfortable he is with you in general. He’s… a bit moody, pun not intended. 

A totally comfortable and reassured Leone would treat you like his savior. But he’s just too prideful to really admit that, especially if you’re not in a relationship, so he keeps that to himself. Those are his private thoughts, ones he won’t express until much later on in your relationship. You’re the only thing keeping him going, the thing that gets him up every morning. I said this in that alphabet ask request I did, “Leone loves to just sit and watch you. He gives you space, careful not to step on your metaphorical toes, and just sits quietly to watch. He won’t look away if you look over while he’s giving you that stupid, lovestruck stare. He’s so lucky he gets to witness you.” and I really do hold firm on it. When you’re alone, Leone’s face changes so much, if he’s in the mood to show you how utterly obsessed he is. He doesn’t mean to get in your way, please, continue what you’re doing. Don’t mind him.

And Christ he’s obsessed. Leone’s addicted. He doesn’t really… need to stare or even just interact with you, since he can just replay it. He pretends you’re annoying him, he wants to just sit there and listen to Monteverdi, what could you possibly have to say that’s more important than a classical genius? Shut up and eat your food, have Guido entertain you if you’re really that bored. The second you’re gone, though.. Leone’s all over his stand. He’s such a degenerate that he’ll get under the table just to see how you position your legs. God, you’re gorgeous. He’d kill to kiss your real ankle, or to drink from your glass at the same spot you did…

But Leone’s not at all ready to talk to the real you, so he won’t. He holds himself over for as long as he can this way- with placeholder you. He feels disgusting for it- piggybacking off of Narancia’s jokes and pretending your laughter was at what he had to say, holding ‘your’ hand over the table and pretending you’ve been in love forever, sitting in the place of whoever you were cuddling up to just to feel what it would be like… He really has no hard limits, Leone would replay you sleeping if he could find a safe way to do it. Does the guilt keep him up at night? Certainly. Will he stop? Never. 

Quick digression, isn’t that such a horrifying stand in a captor/victim situation? You can’t hide anything from him since he can just use his stand and replay you doing it. I’d hate him as a yandere, I love to argue. I hit him with the old reliable “I didn’t say that.” and he replays me, in fact, saying that. That’s my Hell.

And what happens in the meantime, before he’s ready to be a giant mush to you? He’s a cunt. A total dick. He’s physically present (Always physically present, for a man that “hates”  you…), but emotionally distant. He doesn’t want to be seen with you in the slightest. He goes out of his way to drive you away- he doesn’t want you to engage with him at all. If you sit down next to him he’s knocking his drink onto your lap. Won’t even apologize, unless the glass breaks. Then he’ll just snap at you to stay still. Doesn’t want the glass digging  into that gorgeous skin of yours… huh? He didn’t say anything. He’s glaring at you because he thinks he missed a piece, don’t get all worked up. (He’s staring, actually. He just looks mean.)

It’s a constant game of push and pull. Incredibly mixed messages. How are you supposed to take it when he bumps into you with enough force to knock you back (When he clearly had room to go around), but also puts his arm around you so you don’t fall while taking the train? Leone has the audacity to directly command you, but not the confidence to consistently speak to you. He wants you, badly, but can’t handle speaking to you for more  than a minute- and that’s generous. Once you finally crack him it’s like he’s an entirely different person. Doting and attentive, just not very verbally affectionate. He’s very handsy.

"Don't look at me like that. I'm busy, find someone else to play with."

[findroleplay]

💀 hello! I have arrived today to parts smutfish, parts look for a partner for a wholesome ship thread. basically, I have a very niche scenario I'm kinda dying to write out in which sex and sexuality plays a large part in the story. I have a dynamic in mind, with some details definitely open for adjusting. general details and possible outlines;

concept: OCxOC, MxM. two cis men, approximately in their mid to late 20s. possibly older, definitely not younger. no large age gaps or toxic dynamics; yes to healing together and surviving and working through trauma. kinks potentially included could be denial / premature / public / general desperation, but can further be discussed in DMs. do note though that I have no interest in non-con / generally abusive dynamics. depending on the scene and scenario probably looking for likely a 50/50 on the smut to plot ratio, could easily be slow burn despite that though.

characters: 

you would write dude A who is Matt (placeholder name), a skinny, nerdy, inexperienced virgin white boy who escaped a cult setting or such some months or years back. previously super repressed thanks to his upbringing and now working to come to terms with his sexuality, SUPER horny, a super submissive bottom who struggles to ever cum on his own due to some Mental Blocks. too shy and insecure to go out and get some, too effed up to get the deed done himself, you get the gist. probably takes care of his sweetheart of a little sister and works a full time job while trying to balance figuring himself out.

I would write dude B which is Lucas (placeholder name), an Asian American dude with plenty of experience with both relationships and sex, who kind of gets smitten by the shy white boy dragged into his flamboyant gay life by... a friend probably. very gentle and dominant pleasure top with lots of patience and dedication to help Matt work through his issues, even when it gets very hard (pun intended). works in a record shop, gets along with his big sister but not so much his parents, kind of a hopeless romantic and a bit of a rocker boy.

me; 32yo, trans dude, residing in Europe, 15+ years of writing experience. I definitely prefer quality over quantity and am alright with waiting for replies, as long as there's some communication should there be longer pauses. usually I can do at least one reply a day, often more, but sometimes my schedule gets hectic and I hope you understand that. prefer to write over discord in a shared server, I like to share art and music and memes and all that stuff with my partners. I'm equally as interested in being your friend as well as a writing partner, but befriending me is not a requirement! open to AUs, multiple threads, even multiple ships as well as adjusting the backstory of these fellas. not AI "art" friendly.

interested? sweet! please be 25+ if you contact me, as I'm not looking to write with people ten years younger than me. just like this post and I'll come get you!🖤

-

[roleplayfinder]

💀 hello! I have arrived today to parts smutfish, parts look for a partner for a wholesome ship thread. basically, I have a very niche scenario I'm kinda dying to write out in which sex and sexuality plays a large part in the story. I have a dynamic in mind, with some details definitely open for adjusting. general details and possible outlines;

concept: OCxOC, MxM. two cis men, approximately in their mid to late 20s. possibly older, definitely not younger. no large age gaps or toxic dynamics; yes to healing together and surviving and working through trauma. kinks potentially included could be denial / premature / public / general desperation, but can further be discussed in DMs. do note though that I have no interest in non-con / generally abusive dynamics. depending on the scene and scenario probably looking for likely a 50/50 on the smut to plot ratio, could easily be slow burn despite that though.

characters: 

you would write dude A who is Matt (placeholder name), a skinny, nerdy, inexperienced virgin white boy who escaped a cult setting or such some months or years back. previously super repressed thanks to his upbringing and now working to come to terms with his sexuality, SUPER horny, a super submissive bottom who struggles to ever cum on his own due to some Mental Blocks. too shy and insecure to go out and get some, too effed up to get the deed done himself, you get the gist. probably takes care of his sweetheart of a little sister and works a full time job while trying to balance figuring himself out.

I would write dude B which is Lucas (placeholder name), an Asian American dude with plenty of experience with both relationships and sex, who kind of gets smitten by the shy white boy dragged into his flamboyant gay life by... a friend probably. very gentle and dominant pleasure top with lots of patience and dedication to help Matt work through his issues, even when it gets very hard (pun intended). works in a record shop, gets along with his big sister but not so much his parents, kind of a hopeless romantic and a bit of a rocker boy.

me; 32yo, trans dude, residing in Europe, 15+ years of writing experience. I definitely prefer quality over quantity and am alright with waiting for replies, as long as there's some communication should there be longer pauses. usually I can do at least one reply a day, often more, but sometimes my schedule gets hectic and I hope you understand that. prefer to write over discord in a shared server, I like to share art and music and memes and all that stuff with my partners. I'm equally as interested in being your friend as well as a writing partner, but befriending me is not a requirement! open to AUs, multiple threads, even multiple ships as well as adjusting the backstory of these fellas. not AI "art" friendly.

interested? sweet! please be 25+ if you contact me, as I'm not looking to write with people ten years younger than me. just like this post and I'll come get you!🖤

.

[rphunter]

💀 hello! I have arrived today to parts smutfish, parts look for a partner for a wholesome ship thread. basically, I have a very niche scenario I'm kinda dying to write out in which sex and sexuality plays a large part in the story. I have a dynamic in mind, with some details definitely open for adjusting. general details and possible outlines;

concept: OCxOC, MxM. two cis men, approximately in their mid to late 20s. possibly older, definitely not younger. no large age gaps or toxic dynamics; yes to healing together and surviving and working through trauma. kinks potentially included could be denial / premature / public / general desperation, but can further be discussed in DMs. do note though that I have no interest in non-con / generally abusive dynamics. depending on the scene and scenario probably looking for likely a 50/50 on the smut to plot ratio, could easily be slow burn despite that though.

characters: 

you would write dude A who is Matt (placeholder name), a skinny, nerdy, inexperienced virgin white boy who escaped a cult setting or such some months or years back. previously super repressed thanks to his upbringing and now working to come to terms with his sexuality, SUPER horny, a super submissive bottom who struggles to ever cum on his own due to some Mental Blocks. too shy and insecure to go out and get some, too effed up to get the deed done himself, you get the gist. probably takes care of his sweetheart of a little sister and works a full time job while trying to balance figuring himself out.

I would write dude B which is Lucas (placeholder name), an Asian American dude with plenty of experience with both relationships and sex, who kind of gets smitten by the shy white boy dragged into his flamboyant gay life by... a friend probably. very gentle and dominant pleasure top with lots of patience and dedication to help Matt work through his issues, even when it gets very hard (pun intended). works in a record shop, gets along with his big sister but not so much his parents, kind of a hopeless romantic and a bit of a rocker boy.

me; 32yo, trans dude, residing in Europe, 15+ years of writing experience. I definitely prefer quality over quantity and am alright with waiting for replies, as long as there's some communication should there be longer pauses. usually I can do at least one reply a day, often more, but sometimes my schedule gets hectic and I hope you understand that. prefer to write over discord in a shared server, I like to share art and music and memes and all that stuff with my partners. I'm equally as interested in being your friend as well as a writing partner, but befriending me is not a requirement! open to AUs, multiple threads, even multiple ships as well as adjusting the backstory of these fellas. not AI "art" friendly.

interested? sweet! please be 25+ if you contact me, as I'm not looking to write with people ten years younger than me. just like this post and I'll come get you!🖤

,

[pluckyredhead]

🍊🍌🍐 for the emoji meme???

🍊 Who’s a character you don’t write for that often, but keep meaning to write for more? (They’re so interesting! But maybe you have trouble pinning them down, or keep getting distracted by another blorbo…)

Tim Drake! I think Tim's relations with the rest of the Batfam are so interesting, I just have no actual story to put him in. Someday I'll come up with a long plotty Batfam genfic and then you'll see, you'll all see!

🍌 In your opinion, what’s the funniest joke/reference/pun you’ve made in a fic?

Unfortunately the one that immediately came to mind is from a WIP and it's so good I don't want to spoil it. But I will also say that almost every line I gave Bart in Say It Just One Time makes me laugh, especially this scene:

Jon moved, but Bart got there first, wrapping his arms around Kara and letting her cry. “Hey, it’s okay, we can still get married. We don’t need the rings. Or we’ll get placeholders. We’ll get Ring Pops! Or we can steal some money from Tim, he’s loaded.” “I would just give you the money, you know,” Tim said, but he didn’t look too annoyed, probably because the joke had drawn a wet laugh out of Kara. “There’s no need to try to make Drake feel useful,” Damian drawled, stepping forward and holding out a little velvet box. “The clone’s clone might be strong, but he’s too stupid to notice when his pockets are being picked.” Kara stared at him. “You...you got them back?” Damian shrugged. “It was a simple matt—oof!” He staggered back a little as Kara grabbed him in a hug. “Thank you,” she said, her voice still a little shaky. “Thank you.” Damian very clearly had no idea what to do with either the hug or the gratitude, but Kara let him go before Jon started feeling guilty enough to rescue him. He did take a quick step back when Bart approached, as if to avoid another hug, and Jon had to bite his lip not to laugh. “Thank you so much, Damian,” Bart said. “You were killed by your evil clone once too, right? We should form a club!” “We absolutely should not,” Damian said.

🍐 Is there anything in canon that you absolutely hate and love to fix in fics? A wrong choice made, a fuck-up in characterization, a misunderstanding never cleared up, a conversation never shown onscreen, etc…

Lian's death, hands down. You'll note that the only fics I've ever acknowledged it in are post-Infinite Frontier ones where she's already back.

Also in general I love to acknowledge relationships DC has forgotten about. Jason and Eddie, Roy and Grant...actually literally anyone and Grant...

Ask me more fruits!

[someone-always-cares]

chapter 5, page 79

first - previous - next

[image description: an sac webcomic page. "hold on, stay still for a second". rami says, as he puts his hand close to lewis, the angle making him almost look like he's cupping lewis's face, as lewis stares back at him with very wide shining eyes. he then rips off the duct tape off, lewis jolting and making a weird face, the panel borders shaking from the shock, before lewis makes a different face like a grimace or like a cat would make after smelling something foul right before slapping the shit out of it. "sorry. you alright?" rami asks, holding a swiss army knife down near lewis's bound arm, the knife already out. "i- what- i will be? not important. what the fuck are you doing here??". lewis replies. "saving you, apparently. and your friend- sorry i'll get to you in a minute" "no really, why the fuck are you here? how did you find us? why did you come?" lewis says. this last panel is entirely black, aside from the speech bubbles. "you're the one that sent me the location. Is your friend concussed? They're not responding to me. Or you. And are either of you injured in general?" rami responds. "What? I don't think either of us are. And no, she can't hear you, just wave or something. Uh, not with the knife, like a friendly not about to kill you wave, like-" lewis's rambling is interrupted. "It's pitch black in here? Waving won't help?" end id]

edit: a bit late but forgot to mention: next con i have is on june 1st, at animangapop cardiff! feel free to say hi if you're going!

i've always gone back and forth internally if rami's supervision gave him better night vision or not but i'm going to go with yes, it does. lewis also has better night vision on account of his eyes being cat-like. jade has normal human vision unfortunatly. on the bright side (pun not intended), she can make her fingernails glow.

also, thought on book cover? tried a few ideas and this is what i came up with

[id: concept a book cover. mostly sketched, styalised like a corkboard with various photos, pins, ect. the front side (right) has a piece of torn paper with the title and a couple stickers, one star and the other rami's logo. below is a drawing of rami surrounded by eyes. the spine has a strip of washi tape, blue with star patterns, with the title and a "1" at the bottom. the back (right) has a few photos of various panels from chapter 1 and two, a top corner of a missing poster, a business card for iris's ice cream shop, pins of mindforce's eye, and pride pins of the asexual and transgender flags, and lastly a scrap of notebook paper with eye doodles (like iris's eyes), rami's logo, titled "blah blah blah" and placeholder text of the bee movie script opening. red string is scattered around. end id]

note: the panels featured will be redrawn (for the cover. the actual pages will not be) and the one on the front is just a placeholder. not sure what i'll change it to, but something with both rami and lewis.

so, this is fashioned similar to the back of the flyer i use to advertise my comic at conventions, it allows me to show off multiple things, allows me to put in easter eggs and similar, and it feels right, yknow? it looks like the same board i use for story planning, concept art, to do lists, and trinkets for conventions, ect.

i look up and i see my corkboard covered in all that, so it feels like me. like i'm already pouring everything i have into my comic, why not this? also, red string murder board. thematically appropriate, and similar to the one omen has. expecially fitting since they appear end of chapter two bonus pages, which is where issue 1 of the physical book ends (not including bonus pages)

anyway would love to hear your thoughts!

more rambling under the cut

keep jumping from task to task. eg started planning the cover. jumped from irl task to task and then got back but then needed to figure out 100% how big the book is page-wise, because spine width

so i go do the bonus pages first but despite me collecting all the stuff for that before i keep finding more. because i have been making pages for 7 years and worked on it for longer with just having them as ocs roatating in my mind

and, yknow, i am not an organised person at the best of times. and over the past 10 years, not much has been the best of times. so you can imagine the chaos i've gone looking through. most of it isn't too recent, because turns out i had a lot more time working to draw when i was still in school. and also right after school. also 2020.and most of it is bad due to me improving my skill over time! which is good but still. going to have to carefully pick out what to use

also unrelated but i want to make one of the exclusive kickstarter print rewards foiled because i just love how they look. specifically i want to do one of tsunami and the foil (silver or holo) being the sparkles his water does because it'd look cool!

[sevensoulmates]

So I remember you saying that when tv studios are making their shows, nothing is left to chance and every decision they make is carefully put together, right? And when they first revealed the title for the fourth episode I didn't really knew it was the name of a song by Ella Fitzgerald, it's only recently that I read the lyrics of the song and it must mean something right? Because it's obviously a love/pining song.

Btw I was meaning to ask about your favorite Eddie/Buck moments that made you think "There's no way this is platonic" of course you don't have to explain in detail if you don't feel like it or don't have the time but it's always joy to read what you have to say about buddie 🙏😄

Hi there! Sorry for the delayed response! As typical of me, my opinion on episode titles is gonna be on the realistic side and this answer is kinda rambley. Obviously, episode titles reflect the content of what the episode will be about, but it isn't always exactly what it seems on the surface. And that's on purpose, we usually get episode titles in advance before the episode airs and they don't want it to spoil the entire thing (hence why I don't think "placeholder titles" like "henren begins" or "buddie begins" are real).

911 has been known to borrow some of their titles from well-known movies. Examples: "Love, Actually" -> "Buck, Actually", "Oceans 11" -> "Oceans 9-1-1". "Brawl in Cell Block 99" -> "Brawl in Cell Block 9-1-1".

They've also been known to copy super common phrases. Examples: "Careful What You Wish For", or "The One That Got Away".

They also use quite a lot of questions in the titles. Examples: "What's Next?" and "9-1-1, What's Your Grievance?" and of course a million 911 puns.

When it comes to song titles, that's a little harder to judge. Song titles often have common phrases like the ones mentioned above in them, so some titles could coincidentally overlap with song titles. One example is "Wrapped in Red" which is also a Christmas love song. Or they have episodes like "Love Is In the Air" where the song is also played in the episode ending montage. These are also just common phrases and don't necessarily have to be associated with a song.

"Buck, Bothered and Bewildered" is a bit of an odd case (as is "You Don't Know Me" but for a different reason), because it is undeniably the title of a very well-known song. But plenty of other shows have made use of the title and song in episodes before so it's not exactly unprecedented.

In my opinion, I don't think we should be taking the song lyrics themselves 100% at face value and expect them to translate point for point into the episode. That's just a bit unrealistic. BUT I do think the overall vibe of the song, and the general meaning of the phrase "bothered and bewildered" can be taken as a general idea of overall themes that will be explored in the episode, but not just for Buck, even though his name is titular this time. Episode titles almost always refer to the general themes that ALL prominent characters with arcs in this episode are feeling. So chances are it will apply to Athena, Chimney, and Eddie too. My speculation is likely that Chimney is also going to be confused by Buck's actions (and possibly something to do with Maddie) And Eddie will likely also be very very bothered and bewildered by Buck's actions and feelings in this episode. Maybe Tommy too?

I am fairly positive this episode will provide huge hints and steps in the right direction toward buddie canon. And I also want people to remember that characters DO NOT always have everything figured out. Just like normal humans, they can misunderstand their own feelings, not recognize the truth/gravity/context of their feelings, and even LIE (straight to the audience's face) about their feelings. Here is where learning how to (realistically) read subtext and not be afraid of it comes in.

As for "friends wouldn't do that" moments, well I think @useramor explained it best with their post here. ALL of buddie's moments could have a platonic reading to them, but it's the extra layers of desperation, hiding feelings unnecessarily, the lack of boundaries, the merging of entities, and the way they can never actually acknowledge or define their relationship in any true way, that makes almost all of their moments ALSO read as romantic. In my opinion, if writers want a moment to be read as entirely platonic with little to no room for romantic readings, there are ways to do so where at least most of your audience will understand. Instead, the 911 writers tend to place nearly all of buddie's interactions in a platonic-romantic limbo, and I personally think that's on purpose. Biding time, if you will.

[anotherrpfinder]

💀 hello! I have arrived today to parts smutfish, parts look for a partner for a wholesome ship thread. basically, I have a very niche scenario I'm kinda dying to write out in which sex and sexuality plays a large part in the story. I have a dynamic in mind, with some details definitely open for adjusting. general details and possible outlines;

concept: OCxOC, MxM. two cis men, approximately in their mid to late 20s. possibly older, definitely not younger. no large age gaps or toxic dynamics; yes to healing together and surviving and working through trauma. kinks potentially included could be denial / premature / public / general desperation, but can further be discussed in DMs. do note though that I have no interest in non-con / generally abusive dynamics. depending on the scene and scenario probably looking for likely a 50/50 on the smut to plot ratio, could easily be slow burn despite that though.

characters: 

you would write dude A who is Matt (placeholder name), a skinny, nerdy, inexperienced virgin white boy who escaped a cult setting or such some months or years back. previously super repressed thanks to his upbringing and now working to come to terms with his sexuality, SUPER horny, a super submissive bottom who struggles to ever cum on his own due to some Mental Blocks. too shy and insecure to go out and get some, too effed up to get the deed done himself, you get the gist. probably takes care of his sweetheart of a little sister and works a full time job while trying to balance figuring himself out.

I would write dude B which is Lucas (placeholder name), an Asian American dude with plenty of experience with both relationships and sex, who kind of gets smitten by the shy white boy dragged into his flamboyant gay life by... a friend probably. very gentle and dominant pleasure top with lots of patience and dedication to help Matt work through his issues, even when it gets very hard (pun intended). works in a record shop, gets along with his big sister but not so much his parents, kind of a hopeless romantic and a bit of a rocker boy.

me; 32yo, trans dude, residing in Europe, 15+ years of writing experience. I definitely prefer quality over quantity and am alright with waiting for replies, as long as there's some communication should there be longer pauses. usually I can do at least one reply a day, often more, but sometimes my schedule gets hectic and I hope you understand that. prefer to write over discord in a shared server, I like to share art and music and memes and all that stuff with my partners. I'm equally as interested in being your friend as well as a writing partner, but befriending me is not a requirement! open to AUs, multiple threads, even multiple ships as well as adjusting the backstory of these fellas. not AI "art" friendly.

interested? sweet! please be 25+ if you contact me, as I'm not looking to write with people ten years younger than me. just like this post and I'll come get you!🖤

✿

[anxresi]

Somehow, I can tell who wrote the script for ‘Derision’...

...The latest leaked script for the bastion of security which is Miraculous Ladybug.

I’ll spare you the predictable scenes set in flashback where Chloe (with the help of that gullible lug Kim and willing assistant Sabrina) covers everyone’s favorite blunette in spiders (didn’t Zoe get cockroaches put in her locker too? WTF is it with this show which considers insects the epitome of bullying?) and covers her ass with green paint (hey, it could’ve been worst! It could’ve been gum... oh.)

The part where it REALLY shows Mr Astruc’s handiwork and how he’s far more manipulative than even Chloe could ever hope to be, stands out in this particular shining moment... 

1. WTF is ‘Rosita’? Is this the Mexican dub, or something?

2. OOH THOMAS YOU SO META WITH YOUR BLATANT EXPOSITION!! But really, you’re using an argument against Chloe fans rivalled only in its disingenuousness by its pure straw man...ibility.

My beef with you regarding Chloe’s development isn’t ‘E-v-i-l people using bad parental treatment as an excuse for their misdeeds’ and more ‘Leading us on a wild goose chase with HOURS of episodes showing Chloe growing both as a person and a superhero, only to abandon all that suddenly to turn her into a wannabe terrorist and psychopath overnight’. Check out TV Tropes. Alpha Bitches do not generally turn from Lovable Alpha Bitches to Complete Monsters in the space of one episode, do they? (Unless of course, you want us all to kneel at the altar of that vast expanse of blandness known as Zoe, but that’s another story...) 

Ways it could’ve been done better: SHOW us during S1 and S2 that Chloe is capable of the mindless thuggery we’ve seen of her more recently. If you’re going to show her pull a Heel-Heel-Face-Turn, do it GRADUALLY in a realistic fashion, don’t just dump it all at the end of S3 by pretending her budding development never happened. And if Zoe was REALLY ‘the true holder of the Bee Miraculous’, how come her name was never even mentioned until the early parts of S4?! I think we’re talking about less of a character here, and more of a placeholder introduced to take on Chloe’s role as a hero because you don’t like her. (Zoe getting Pollen after one-and-a-half episodes was ‘utterly ridiculous’ too, as will be her becoming Chat Noir briefly in a future show(!) But again., that’s a discussion for another time.)

Basically Mr A, you can heap as many humiliating ‘punishments’ upon Chloe as much as you want. Mutilate her once-halfway-complex and potential-filled personality by increasingly marking her as one-dimensionally e-v-i-l to your heart’s content. Insert as much clunky dialogue from the mouths of other characters to get back at your ‘haterz’ if it makes you feel better. Even set entire episodes set in the past designed to make people hate her as much as you do... hey, it’s your show!

But don’t try to pretend any of this was planned. Along with the reasons given above, I don’t think if all this was intended from the beginning, such a MEGA surplus of Queen Bee and Chloe toys would’ve been released... if they always intended her to be one of the most despised characters. It was all done because one man’s blind hatred of a fictional teenager hi-jacked the plot and derailed it from what it could’ve been. At one point at the end of S2, things were ticking along quite nicely. Then YOU got much more heavily involved in the show’s writing... and the rest, as they say, is history.

And no, I am NOT devaluing Marinette’s in-story bullying. I’m more criticizing Thomas’s shameless weaponizing of it to turn this episode into yet ANOTHER stick to beat Chloe with. It disgusts me more and more, to see him paint (pun not intended) a young child as some kind of irredeemable hellspawn incarnate to prop up the kudos of the stereotypically ‘nice’ girl characters around her. Sorry... Marinette, Mylene, Rose and ESPECIALLY Zoe. You’re just boring. CHLOE FAN FOREVER!! :D

So, to conclude... my main reaction to Derision... is complete and utter derision. Just not in the way they intended... ;)

(Someone just left a comment pointing out Mylene’s mother abandoned her. Figures only Thomas would use a side character’s misery as yet ANOTHER excuse to get back at Miss Bourgeois. What’s the betting that this now canonical detail was only put in to denigrate Chloe more? After all, he introduced an entire character for this very purpose, so I wouldn’t put ANYTHING past him now...) :p

[scritch-scratches]

9, 10, 11 please if you're still doing the ask game 🥺 would LOVE to see Dominoes in a manga format, imagine how cool that would be!

That would be so freakin' cool!!!!!

Here ya go!

9. in an ideal world where you’re already super successful and published, would you want to see a tv or movie adaptation of your work? why or why not?

I think I've mentioned this before, but Dominoes would benefit from a visual adaptation, because the Pandora Effect could get some cool signifier like, people under its influence get red pupils or something. I think that would be pretty hype.

And also, for comprehensibility. Most of the cast would be spending Part 1 with some subtle but permanent indicator that they aren't quite themselves, something I can only hint at in written form when constricted to the POV of the mostly oblivious characters. Besides Hakuba and Yuusaku, none of them recognize when they're under the influence, so it's tricky to try and convey it through writing alone without being too obvious.

Also, fight scenes. The fight scenes would be cool.

10. at what point in the process do you come up with titles, and how easy or hard is that for you?

Titles are easy for me, in that I put zero effort into them, and they usually happen at last minute. Up until right before I hit publish, I usually just have placeholder titles. The original draft of Dominoes is still named "Reporters" in my drive.

I usually either go with a pun or a reference to some scientific concept, ie Schrodinger's Detective, Fata Morgana, and Uncertainty Principle. When I really can't think of anything, I just resort to basing the title on the place I wrote the first chapter, usually a fast food chain. Hence, Dominoes.

(Spy x Enemy was almost named after KFC or Raising Cane's, but the discord crew intervened.)

11. what’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing? also, how much do you worry about doing research in general?

I was about to say I don't do that much research until I remembered how thoroughly I answered the question "how to become a rocket scientist" for a fic I haven't even published. Did you know you can take an virtual tour of Nasa's Jet Propulsion Lab now? Technology is amazing.

I researched NGO and government structures for constructing ISHA and how it functions as an organization, as well as looked into research labs in Tokyo and yada yada yada.

A lot of other stuff is based on experience, like the university lab the RSC rob is based on the one I used to work in, as well as Sherry's research that was stolen from there. The titles of her papers on based on real shit, with some sci-fi/fantasy liberties taken. Shinichi's spiels about his reporter work are based on what I learned from working with freelance reporters during my activism days.

I also consider watching/reading Detective Conan as research for my fics as well, because I like to use actual people, companies, and etc from the canon world for Dominoes.

But its fan fiction, so I don't hold myself to reality too much. Rule of Cool trumps all else in my mind, so I'm not afraid to disregard accuracy in favor of "shit that would be awesome".

[the-twintastic-myojis]

Heyoooooo!!!! Myōji twins, here!!!

Mint!!! Don’t put our last name on the internet!!

Pfffffttttttttttttttttttttttt it’s not like anyone DOWSN’T know who we are at this pointt. Literally EEEVERY bad guys is leik “oh hey!! The Myōji twinsss!!! Kill em!!!”

That’s… fair. I mean, what if mom finds the blog, though?

haHAAAAAA!!! As if!!! She’s prolly too busy being insane and crayzy to even CAARE.

…

I spent a LOTT of time on the blog pun, Ditt.

Fine. >8(

AAAAAAANYWAYS,, send us asks about silly thingies!! And we’ll probably be on here to rant about silly things. Oh, and uh, ignore the normal-ass bold text. That’s my cat.

…Is Onyx even a cat?

Shuddup.

((Ooc: Placeholder picrew for the pfp: 元気ゴリゴリ🦍｜Picrew

Oh, should probably put some trigger warnings. Those will be put at the end if you think that you don’t need to read them. (Read them anyways, just in case. Also so I won’t get Tumblr-sued.)

Anywho, blog tags:

Mint rambles — Mint just says anything

Ditt speaks — Mint tag but for Ditt

The twins are at it again — same purpose, but for both the twins.

The Cat — Onyx’s tag. Usually accompanied by Mint chiming in to annoy it.

Other people we guess — when someone else uses the account, like their brother, Psyche, or a random friend wants to say something.

))

Trigger warnings below!! Read at your own risk!

Trigger warnings (important stuff in red):

General warnings for stuff like possession, mental health related stuff, eye imagery, mentions of an abusive mom they ran away from, & mentions of experimenting on children. (Those last two are in fact related.) As well as (reddish pink) blood.

Later down the line for these two, they very much go through some gorey things. For example, Ditt losing an eye, & Mint straight up being stabbed in the chest.

If there’s anything I should add, please let me know.

[roleplay-today]

💀 hello! I have arrived today to parts smutfish, parts look for a partner for a wholesome ship thread. basically, I have a very niche scenario I'm kinda dying to write out in which sex and sexuality plays a large part in the story. I have a dynamic in mind, with some details definitely open for adjusting. general details and possible outlines;

concept: OCxOC, MxM. two cis men, approximately in their mid to late 20s. possibly older, definitely not younger. no large age gaps or toxic dynamics; yes to healing together and surviving and working through trauma. kinks potentially included could be denial / premature / public / general desperation, but can further be discussed in DMs. do note though that I have no interest in non-con / generally abusive dynamics. depending on the scene and scenario probably looking for likely a 50/50 on the smut to plot ratio, could easily be slow burn despite that though.

characters: 

you would write dude A who is Matt (placeholder name), a skinny, nerdy, inexperienced virgin white boy who escaped a cult setting or such some months or years back. previously super repressed thanks to his upbringing and now working to come to terms with his sexuality, SUPER horny, a super submissive bottom who struggles to ever cum on his own due to some Mental Blocks. too shy and insecure to go out and get some, too effed up to get the deed done himself, you get the gist. probably takes care of his sweetheart of a little sister and works a full time job while trying to balance figuring himself out.

I would write dude B which is Lucas (placeholder name), an Asian American dude with plenty of experience with both relationships and sex, who kind of gets smitten by the shy white boy dragged into his flamboyant gay life by... a friend probably. very gentle and dominant pleasure top with lots of patience and dedication to help Matt work through his issues, even when it gets very hard (pun intended). works in a record shop, gets along with his big sister but not so much his parents, kind of a hopeless romantic and a bit of a rocker boy.

me; 32yo, trans dude, residing in Europe, 15+ years of writing experience. I definitely prefer quality over quantity and am alright with waiting for replies, as long as there's some communication should there be longer pauses. usually I can do at least one reply a day, often more, but sometimes my schedule gets hectic and I hope you understand that. prefer to write over discord in a shared server, I like to share art and music and memes and all that stuff with my partners. I'm equally as interested in being your friend as well as a writing partner, but befriending me is not a requirement! open to AUs, multiple threads, even multiple ships as well as adjusting the backstory of these fellas. not AI "art" friendly.

interested? sweet! please be 25+ if you contact me, as I'm not looking to write with people ten years younger than me. just like this post and I'll come get you!🖤

[kitkatt0430]

🌻🍌🍒

🌻 favorite funny quote from a published work

I've written a number of silly stories, so I do have several favorite silly quotes.

When he writes the 'autobiography of Harrison Wells' she messes with the correspondence between him and his editor in order to draw out the process a few extra weeks and then gets a number of hilarious typos and grammatical errors included in the first run of the book. (Harassing Wells was mostly edited out of subsequent editions, but they never did manage to catch all of them.)

from Gideon vs The Reverse Flash

Gideon messing with Eobard's autobiography is just so amusing to me. In part because of how many times Barry must've read that thing - he probably caught all the typos and misspellings and found them funny. But also Gideon arranging for the deliberate misspelling of Harrison as 'Harassing' just makes me grin.

🍌 favorite funny quote from a wip

No one does the supervillain thing with more dedication and class than Eobard Thawne.  (Leonard Snart can just shut the fuck up and take his stupid cold puns with him.  He's not a villain.  He's an anti-something or other and does not count.)

From Timeless Nonsense which is going to be such a crack fic

The whole intro sequence is amusing to me - Eobard is such a drama queen and he knows it and owns it. That's where this quote comes from since I haven't gotten far with it yet. But I do know that his dislike of Leonard Snart is gonna continue throughout what will no doubt be a very silly series. He does not like Len getting to be Barry's first recurring villain and, since Barry knows who Eobard is from the start, he gets to complain to Barry about it. To Barry's equal amusement and annoyance.

By that point in the story Eobard will have been disconnected from the Negative Speed Force (with the NSF shut down entirely), so Eobard's a recovering bad guy at that point. He just misses the rush of fighting with Barry and grumpy someone else gets to have the fun.

🍒 favorite sweet quote from a wip

The big man froze in place and then demanded, “what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Fixing what Ray broke,” Barry responded mildly. “I’m nearly done, though it’ll need testing. I might not be quite the mechanical engineer it seems Snart was, but I should be good enough to repair this properly.”

Mick looked away, eyes distant and the anger having dimmed already. “I learned how the Heat Gun works inside and out. Never bothered to learn how to repair the Cold Gun though. Didn’t think I’d need to.”

from The One Where Barry Steals Mick From the Legends

The title is a placeholder but I'm fond of it at this point. Anywho, it's probably more bittersweet than straight up sweet, but I'm fond of this part because Ray destroys the Cold Gun... but we never see it get fixed. And with all the bad treatment Mick gets in S2...

Barry fixes the Cold Gun, compliments Len's intelligence, and generally treats Mick - and Mick's feelings of loss - with respect and kindness. And Mick really needs that.

[retrowhatever]

All the Horizon Fanfic Stats You Never Knew You Needed

So I did some data analysis. More graphs and lots of rambling below the cut.

I love graphs. And spreadsheets. And making my hobbies unnecessarily complicated. So obviously once I discovered that there's an unofficial ao3 api, I had to learn a new programming language so I could throw some math at my Horizon hyperfixation and make some graphs about fanfics. This post is the result of that rabbit hole, I hope you enjoy it!

Before we get started, I want to make one thing explicitly clear: this post is a celebration. It's a celebration of fanfic, authors, and the fandom in general. If you have something mean to say about a ship, a writer, or a fic, this ain't the place. I made these graphs and wrote this post as a love letter to a game I'm obsessed with and the incredible people who make the fan content that is my main form of sustenance these days lol, so let's keep the discussion positive.

One last thing: I generated these graphs from data that I pulled on Aug 4, 2022. Anything published after that won't be reflected here. Alright, here we go! Let's see some graphs!

Fanfic by Length

The first thing I wondered is what the average length of fic was. I did not include any fics below 100 words, assuming they were either art or placeholders, neither of which provide any useful information regarding number of words.

I defined the categories as follows:

Ficlet - less than 2000 words

Short Story - 2K-10K words

Novella - 10K-50K words

Novel - 50K-100K works

Behemoth (pun fully intended) - 100K+ words

Obviously, there's some blurriness at the category edges, but it's pretty clear most fics tend to be relatively short. I'm genuinely surprised by how many huge, sprawling works there are though - I definitely expected there to be a single-digit number of behemoth fics. Mad props to the folks writing those monstrosities for the rest of us to enjoy!

Fanfic by # of Chapters

This graph kind of underscores the point about most fics being relatively short. There are almost twice as many single chapter fics than all other fics put together.

A thing I think is relatively unique to fanfic as a medium though, is that a fair number of those single chapter fics are novella or even novel length. You're not often going to find a book at a bookstore that's tens of thousands of words and has no chapter divisions, but that's not unusual in fanfic.

Fanfic by Author

Okay, the first thing you need to understand about this graph is the following numbers:

1

2.6

Those are the median and mean fics published per author in the Horizon fandom, respectively. In case you slept through your stats class, what that means is most fanfic writers have written one or two Horizon fanfics. Now go back and look at the graph.

...yeah. We as fanfic lovers owe a lot to these folks. Most of them are on tumblr, so even if you don't have an ao3 account (same, babe, same) you have no excuse not to go show them some love!

Serie11 is @valaloy

SoupAndChaos is @soupandchaos

mythicait is @mythicaitt

DragonRose35 I couldn't find a tumblr for

Kittleskittle is @kittleskittle

VidalsQueen is @sun-and-shadow-aloy

NorthernGhost is @thatsgonnabeanogho

sunspot (unavoidedcrisis) is @sunspott

januarys I couldn't find a tumblr for

foibles_fables is @foibles-fables

unstable_grad I couldn't find a tumblr for

Pikapeppa is @pikapeppa

YoGrossDude is @yogrossdude

bioluminesce is @owlswatch

wandereringray is @wandereringray

escafiils is @chloefraazers

Fanfic by Rating

Okay, now things are getting spicy! First of all, if I'd had to guess the most popular rating, it probably wouldn't have been Teen. But, given how popular the "fluff" tag is (foreshadowing for the tag graph later in this post), I guess it shouldn't be that surprising.

Secondly, I'm clearly not the only one who struggles to understand what exactly the Mature rating is for, considering it's the least-used rating by a fair margin.

Fanfic by Ship

The most popular ships, colour-coded based on orientation. From left to right: mlm, straight, wlw, poly, machines(?????), unknown

I want to reiterate here that I made this post to celebrate the awesome Horizon fandom, so if you're thinking of using this graph to argue that one ship is better/more correct than another... just don't, k? Good.

I also combined similar tags, so if someone used all three of the tags "Aloy/Erend", "Aloy/Erend (Horizon: Zero Dawn)", and "Aloy (Horizon: Zero Dawn)/Erend (Horizon: Zero Dawn)" for the same fic, that's actually going to count as three fics in the Aloy/Erend column. I'll probably end up redoing this graph eventually with a less naive counting algorithm, but for now this is what we've got.

Now that we've got methodology out of the way, let's talk about some cool things this graph shows!

First, Kotaloy shippers obviously have a lot of things to say. Unlike the other five most popular ships, Aloy/Kotallo is the only one involving a character that wasn't in the first game. And it's the second most popular ship! Y'all are rabid and I love it.

Second, of the wlw ships, the second and third most popular ships involve a character from the DLC and a character who dies immediately after you meet her, respectively. You guys are out here making meals from crumbs and I am impressed. Also, though, why don't Petra and Vanasha get more love??? I'm unsurprised that Talanah and her favourite Thrush are the #1 ship, but I (a clueless straight, to be fair) loved both Petra and Vanasha and definitely expected to see more fic involving them.

Third, I love the variety here. This graph only includes ships with at least 10 fics, and there are so many different ships represented! There were tons more that had 5-10 fics too, and it honestly made me so happy to see that there were multiple fic options for almost any pairing in the game.

Fanfic by Tag

Y'all. Look at all the fluff. People always joke about making their blorbos go through it in their fanfic, but like. There is SO MUCH FLUFF. We all really just looked at these characters and went "well, they deserve nice things for a change", huh? I also love how popular canon divergence is - anecdotally, I usually see that tag on fics that are like "well, what if that shitty thing didn't happen?"

That's not to say it's all sunshine and rainbows. The next two most popular tropes are "angst" and "hurt/comfort", and as an enthusiastic consumer of both, I'm not surprised. But again, anecdotally I see a fair number of fics tagged with one or both of those and a "fluff" tag.

Going back to the ratings graph, where we learned that the most popular fic rating is Teen & Up, it shouldn't be surprising that both "First Kiss" and "First Time" are more popular tags than any of the more explicit sex ones. Also, given that Aloy grew up an outcast, I think the popularity of those tags speaks to how fun it is for both writers and readers to delve into what that means for her when it comes to sex and relationships.

Finally, the most-used content warning tags will surprise exactly no one, I think. Canon-typical violence (because duh), PTSD (growing up a literal outcast before finding out you're a clone made by an AI so you can save the entire world from extinction will do that to ya, not to mention all the shit Aloy's friends/lovers have been through in their own lives), and canonical character death (glares at GEMINI) are all pretty obvious choices.

Conclusion

Because I have zero impulse control, I'm already working on a part two for this post, where I will address such pressing questions as "Which ship has the most verbose authors?" and "Who's the gayest Horizon character?" as well as recklessly use the powers vested in me by the math and algorithm gods to find some hidden gem fics that you might not have read yet.

In the meantime, I would love to hear some more opinions on these graphs! I've commented on some of the things I found interesting, but there's lots more to address here, so feel free to reblog this post or snag any graph you find interesting to use in a post of your own. I only ask that you tag me if you do - because I want to read what you have to say!!

Also, if there's any stats or questions about Horizon fanfic that you're particularly curious about, let me know. I'm limited by the information available on ao3, but I will do my best to find you answers and include them in the next post.

Lastly, one final reminder that we're here to celebrate the awesomeness of Horizon fanfic, the fanfic authors, and the fandom in general. I will humbly accept all constructive criticism about my (somewhat questionable) statistical methods and data interpretation, but ask that you keep comments about ships, tags, authors, etc positive and productive. Remember these are real people creating free content for the rest of us, and don't yuck someone else's yum.

Thank you for reading, and I hope you found this half as interesting as I did!