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#genshin crack
matchaitham · 11 months
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How Un-fur-tunate
Ayato, Thoma, Xiao x gn! Reader
Summary: You turn into a cat! ...but you don't know whether your doting and overly protective lover is a blessing or a curse in this situation.
Genre: fluff, crack
Warnings: none, just jealous men
Note: A spin-off of smitten kitten but the situation is uno reversed (evil laugh). But because each story has gotten quite long, you remain a cat indefinitely >:3
Also, no cat puns this time sorry, but check the end for a surprise!
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Kamisato Ayato
Ayato is rarely a free man, and so whenever he's no longer chained to his work, his first mission is to seek you out!
But today was a little different.
He had searched high and low, in the estate and in Inazuma city, even dispatching a few shuumatsuban in hopes of getting even a glimpse of you.
His only companion in his woes? A random cat that kept following his every move.
The cat even has some of your features and accessories, which led him to think that you secretly owned a cat.
Oh well, explanations are for later. Now, he just pats the cat with a deep frown on his gorgeous face as no news of you has reached him yet.
The cat was a noisy fella. Answering his every rhetoric question and his every sigh about missing you.
It was starting to impatiently nip and scratch on the hems of his sleeves when a shuumatsuban barges in, chest heaving in a panic.
"My Lord! We've apprehended a treasure hoarder who admitted to attacking (name)!"
Ayato shoots up from his position, heart pounding a mile per second but face eerily cold, "And (name)? Where are they now?"
The shuumatsuban hesitates before speaking up, "The treasure hoarders claimed to have...turned them into a cat with an ancient relic? The said relic is now allegedly destroyed after its use."
The poor guy winced as he spoke, knowing fully well how absurd it sounds. He can only hope that the Commissioner won't have his head for reporting such nonsense.
But as those words were spoken, the cat in his arms meowed loudly, as if joining in on the conversation.
"Yes! That's what happened! It's me, Ayato, it's me!"
You desperately exclaim, but all that came out was "meow! meooooow!"
Ayato looks down at you and believes the story for one heart-stopping second before scoffing at himself, "No...that's ridiculous."
You bite him as punishment.
When he finally, finally believes you after pointing at yourself in the portraits that he keeps around, pulling on his pants to tug him towards your room, and a terrible attempt at using his brush and ink to spell your name...you might as well wish you haven't tried at all.
He's so smug and teasing about it, please feel free to bite his fingers should you feel annoyed.
He parades you around the estate, arms clinging around your form and bouncing you up and down like one would to a child.
Your ears and tail are the common victims of his affectionate kisses and gentle tugs. When you do turn back, he promises to adopt a kitty (and endlessly tease you about this situation).
"Don't worry," he nuzzles your head for the nth time in an hour, "no other cat is as adorable as your cat form, my dearest."
He even lets his bemused sister pet you after she hesitantly requests to do so (she doesn't want to miss this moment!)
But when Ayaka has been petting you for too long and you start to purr and melt under her gentle ministrations, he suddenly feels a wave of possessiveness. The commissioner then snatches you away and locks the both of you in his room.
Definitely gatekeeps your cat form for himself, poor you (:P)
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Thoma
Thoma had just finished feeding the stray cats and dogs and was on his way back to the Kamisato Estate when he noticed a new cat trailing behind him.
The cat looked too well groomed to be a stray, it even had some accessories exactly like yours!
Was it the (last name) clan's pet? Maybe it escaped and got lost?
Whatever the case, Thoma gently picks it up and carries it with him while he looks for you. Afterall, the path back to your place is not the safest, especially for a defenseless house cat.
Thoma chuckles at the way it melts into his arms exactly how you usually would.
"Sadly, you don't have a collar with your name on it, so I don't know what to call you. But knowing (name), you either have an elegant name or a really silly one."
You couldn't even talk back (meow back?) at his little comment before Thoma scratches at just the right spot between your ears and you go slack.
"Let's get you back to your owner hmm? I'm sure they're worried for you," he coos in the voice he reserves for animals and babies. "Just don't tell them that I'm using this as an excuse to see them."
Your cat self perked up at his last statement and looked up at him with an amused "oh ho ho! Really now?" expression.
Thoma didn't know cats could even be that expressive!
He rants and continues to sing praises about his amazing lover along the way to your home. This is great, you internally laugh, so much teasing material handed to me for free!
When he finally reached the gates to your estate, the sight of frantic guards and your personal advisor about to lose their wits made him think of the worst possible scenario.
Fear and paranoia dumps on him like a bucket of cold water.
Did something happen? Did something bad happen to you?
Your personal advisor notices him and immediately rushes to the both of you in relief.
"Mr. Thoma! Thank goodness you're here! (Name) had turned into a cat after a battle with an abyss mage and had escaped─" they look down at the unimpressed kitty in his arms and gasp comically.
"My liege!" They cry out in relief.
You meow back in a dismissive tone not unlike how you would normally say "Yes yes, fret not," to your anxious advisor.
"I was so worried seeing you gone! I even called over the Arataki gang to help with the rescue mission!"
Thoma, after finally snapping out of his shock and confusion, looks down at you flustered. He thinks about everything he's embarrassingly said to your cat form and begs the ground to swallow him up whole.
You're never going to let him live it down, are you?
That's fine, you'll make up for it with kisses!
"Wait a second, why the Arataki gang and not the Yashiro Commission?" Thoma asks, knowing your genuine friendship with the Lord he serves and how much more capable they are. No offense, Itto.
"Well, the gang are your close friends right? Plus, I didn't think the Yashiro commission would believe the whole cat shenanigan and might call us liars," your advisor scratches the back of their head.
"No please, if a friend is in need, no matter how ridiculous the situation is I'm sure Lord Kamisato is ready to help!"
Just as Thoma reassures your staff, the Arataki gang comes barreling in.
"IS IT TRUE? HAS (NAME) TURNED INTO A CAT AND IS NOW MISSING?" Itto screeches.
"NOOOO NOT MY BEST FRIEND AND PARTNER IN CRIME!" He bawls as the rest of the gang awkwardly pat his back. He sniffs, "It's alright, leave the search to me! I'll get them back no matter what!"
Thoma is stunned, such a dedicated friend..?
"Itto they're uh... they're right here," Thoma slightly raises you up in his arms.
The oni gasps dramatically and snatches you away despite Thoma's protests.
"MY GOODNESS! THEY'RE ADORABLE!" He nuzzles his face into your neck and Thoma knows he means well! But the housekeeper has never seized you back so fast, an uncommon frown/pout combo taking over his face.
He's not jealous, not jealous at all! Please don't add this to the growing list of what to tease Thoma with.
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Xiao
You have been consistently visiting him at the exact same time every day unless you say otherwise. So when you weren't in your meeting spot and no word came from you saying you'd be late, he's a little concerned.
That's fine, he can wait. He's not the type to worry easily.
SIKE
Man is searching everywhere.
He checked your usual spots first: the docks at the harbor, at your favorite restaurant, even back at your home.
And when he fails to find you, he returns to your meeting spot atop Wangshu Inn where a cat oddly resembling you greets him eagerly.
His intuition is so strong he immediately knows it's you.
To be honest, it catches you off guard at how fast he reacts to your situation. You even prepared ways to convince him that it's you!
After quickly scanning over your cat form to check for injuries, he picks you up in his arms as gently as he can, mumbling a small polite "sorry" before whisking you away.
Xiao's first mission: take you to Cloud Retainer in hopes of turning you back.
His second mission: try not to combust at your cuteness after you had licked his arm in affection.
After some unsuccessful impromptu trips to several adepti later, his last hope depends on Zhongli's vast sea of knowledge.
During this whole ordeal, Xiao has not let go of you once, even when the adepti poke and prod at your cat body (respectfully) to try and investigate you.
So when Zhongli asks to hold you, you can almost see math equations hovering over his head as he is torn between agreeing or not.
Now don't get me wrong, Xiao trusts Zhongli with his entire being, but the thought of this smart, attractive, desirable former archon and bachelor holding you (yes, even though you're a cat) somehow sets off alarms in his head.
Yet you knew that Zhongli is most likely the key to your cure, so you gently headbutt Xiao's hands to tell him it's fine.
"Hmm," Zhongli frowns slightly as he twists and turns you in his arms, intensely surveying the elemental energy around you. "Alright, I have figured it out. So what happened was─" he proceeds to go on an hour-long lecture to tell you and your lover what could have caused this and how they can turn you back.
"You can leave (name) with me while you go look for the cure," Zhongli smiles kindly, cradling you close to his chest.
"No thank you," Xiao immediately answers and grabs onto you, vanishing in a puff of black smoke.
The parlor consultant only smiles in amusement after the two of you had left, "Ahh, youngsters."
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a little treat: the whole fic summed up in three photos
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badly edited by me as per usual hahshbjhkgl
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kalliyen · 1 year
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Streamer Luck 🍀
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Pairing: Wanderer x GN!Reader
Featuring: Wanderer (Genshin Impact)
Genre: Fluff, Modern AU
Summary: Streamer Wander drabbles lmao enjoy <33
Reader’s Pronouns: They/Them
Warning: wanderer (just brace yourself) bro is actually astronomically down bad, sorry id there’s any spelling or grammar mistakes i am delirious rn
Disclaimer: ⚠️ ONLY A WORK OF FICTION!
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i. ‘wym you’re not single and rotting in a basement?’
Wanderer has been playing for hours on end, you could barely keep up with it.
He hasn’t come out of his room for hours and you were starting to get worried about his appetite, and his emotional well being.
Because you were such a good and doting partner, you decided to make Wanderer’s fave dish, and deliver it to his room.
Knocking on his door, he lets out a brief hum, signaling that it was good to come in. Careful not to get to close to the camera, not wanting to reveal yourself to his audience just yet.
Chat noticed the presence of another person in the room, and immediately bombarding Wanderer with questions like “who tf is that???” and “where did they spawn from???”
“Darling you’ve been streaming for 6 hours, take a break and eat first okay? Just call me when you need anything else.” You state, trying to resist giving him a peck on the lips.
Your boyfriend pauses his game, looks at you, then chat, and decides to pull your waist to his level to give you not one peck, but multiple.
Taken aback but not at all surprised from your boyfriend’s sudden show of affection, you lean into the kiss, missing the feel of his lips on yours.
Chat absolutely EXPLODES when they saw that, but Wanderer did not give two shits, and decided to kiss your hand, while deeply looking into your eyes
“Thanks Honey, I’ll take a break and eat this, thank you so much for looking out for me :)”
“No problem darl, just come out when I call you for dinner okay?” “Yes honey” And with that you leave the room, leaving Wanderer with him and his chat
He scans the messages, multiple times he sees “SO DOWN BAD LMAOO” and “did u kidnap them or something to take are of you”
A little irked at chat, he angrily replies “No I am NOT down bad (he is) and NO I did not kidnap them. They’re my partner. Why is that so hard to believe?”
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ii. honey face reveal when?
Ever since you’ve made your existence known to Wanderer’s fan base they’ve been calling you Honey, mostly mocking him about the nickname he has for you. (they do find it cute tho fr)
They tell him to bring you into the stream more, saying that they missed your voice and your sweet personality, honestly they don’t give a fuck about him no more they just wanna see you
Wanderer gets annoyed (again, this man is always mad at his chat somehow), and says that he can’t force you to show yourself to them, which his chat respects.
“Also their sweetness and cuteness is for me only, not my fault that you guys are lonely and don’t have a partner. Imagine that, what a massive L” he says to his chat, and they start arguing with him again. (someone save his fan base)
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iii. HONEY REVEALLL !!!!!
Seeing that your boyfriend’s fans really liked you, you decided to tell Wanderer that you’re finally comfortable with sharing your face to the internet, which he was really happy with. Because god he really wanted to show of the love of his life to the world, and smash it in their faces that only he could have you.
You suggest to him that you do a cute little baking stream together as your face reveal, and he couldn’t deny the adorable smile on your face while suggesting it to him, so of course he obliged.
While he was setting up the cameras and you were setting up the ingredients you felt really nervous, thoughts of ‘what if they don’t like me?’ plagued your mind, and Wanderer sensed your uneasy demeanor. He came up to you and gave you a kiss that meant ‘don’t be nervous honey, i’ll always be here for you.’
He turns the stream on and immediately people start to come in, surprised at the change of scenery.
‘Wanderer doesn’t live in his basement confirmed?!?!’ a TTS message read, and he gave the camera a glare
Chat immediately noticed you and started chanting “HONEY!” “OH MY GOD ITS HONEY FINALLY”
You gave a meek wave to the camera, still a bit nervous, but with Wanderer’s hand on your waist you knew you had nothing to worry about.
“Hello everyone,,,,I’m y/n, you probably know me as ‘honey’ and i’m…..wanderer’s partner” you say with small smile on your face, eyes turning into small slits
In conclusion, the stream was a success and chat was absolutely smitten with you.
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bonus: iv. Honey takes over the channel 😱
Now that you’ve gotten more comfortable showing yourself on stream, you sometimes played games with Wanderer too, like co-op in this game called Genshin or other games that allowed two person players.
Sometimes, you even started streams yourself whenever you wanted to share something to his audience, or get advice from them when you start a new game.
Wanderer of course sees these streams and he just has the lovey dovey-est smile in the world, you swear you saw his eyes turn into hearts.
Damn, his streamer luck is insane.
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read-pinned-pls · 8 months
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𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄, 𝐒𝐇𝐔𝐓 𝐔𝐏
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˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ GENSHIN IMPACT ꒱ ITTO ; CYNO ; KAVEH ; WANDERER + GN!READER ( SEPARATELY )
warnings : mainly crack, I couldn't write this without laughing, n/sfw ꒰ suggestive, nothing explicit ꒱. oral male receiving ꒰ wanderer ꒱,
★ OBEY ME VERSION
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ITTO
"fuck, baby..." he grunts, hands placed on each sides of your hips while supporting your body against his, "... you should have seen it" there's a pause where Itto exhales heavily, licking his lips with a self satisfied smirk, "hah— my nimble ninja smashed all those kids' beetles!, I'm the o-only one, Arataki Itto, f-for a reason" the oni finish in between heavy pants, sweat dripping down his neck and onto the overheated skin of your back.
"I'll take you to the next beetle brawl, baby, don'tcha worry, you'll see your t-talented boyfriend in action" yet all the action you wanted from him was to shut up and continue thrusting his hips into you.
"i-i know they said it was a set up but— ngh, I won fair and square!"
"Itto, oh my god" you moan, half from annoyance and half from the growing heat in your belly about to snap.
"right? they don't know what they are talking about"
"no, Itto, you better make me cum or you won't be speaking for weeks"
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CYNO
"of course the first edition deck of Genius Invocation TCG could never match the current one, but still, it's style and art remains as a relic these days, I must also admit that even though my favorite deck is the one I currently own, customized by Calx himself" Cyno pauses, leaning down to meet your eyes, accidentally pushing a whimper out of you as he slid in a bit further inside of you, "¿have I showed you my customize deck?"
and you sigh, resisting the urge to roll your eyes and maybe, slap him a bit, "yes, Cyno, you have" for maybe the tenth time, but you avoided that detail.
"very well, how I was saying" he continues, wrapping an arm under your bend knee to press it up against your chest, still pounding into you at a steady pace, "I can't help and have a soft spot for the limited edition card Kaveh gifted me, it truly is magnificent, you have to see it as well, and perhaps we should play a round" the man stops, receiving a grunt of protest from you, "show me your deck, I can help you organize it" and that's your last straw, deciding to quiet the man down by your own methods, as you flip him over, a hand on his chest for support while the other cover his mouth.
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KAVEH
"and he took my keys! MY KEYS!" the blonde cries, fingers unconsciously digging into the skin of your shoulders to push you back to meet his thrusts, "I have done nothing wrong to deserve such mean treatment, never have I overstepped into his personal space" he grumbles and you recall the time your boyfriend came to your home to complain over how ungrateful Alhaitham was when he decided to clean his study and a couple of papers got accidentally lost.
"my blueprints were in there and they're due tomorrow!" he gasps, stopping dead in his tracks, "they're due tomorrow!" Kaveh cries again, head hanging down his shoulders in soft faked cries that have his, and your whole body shaking.
"¿babe, are you alright?" you ask trying to take a look back but Kaveh's hands are still pinning you down to the bed.
"y-yeah" he sniffles, now fully resting his body weight on your back and resuming his thrusts, "once you cum, you've have to help me finish these prints"
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WANDERER
"this wasn't part of the deal" the man says through gritted teeth, just the sound of old paper sheets rustling against each other and the soft, almost imperceptible wet slurping of your lips on his length.
"thesis my ass" he complains again, for the nth time of the night.
a single lamp clearing his view in the dark to easily read through thick books, property of the library is worth adding as they currently sit on his desk, without anyone's previous permission, "¿the hell is this word supposed to mean?"
"¿do you need help?" you ask, voice hoarse from your throat being filled for so long.
"¿did I ask you to stop?" he bites bark, and you mutter a soft 'asshole' under your breath, purposely sucking in harder to make him squirm.
"s-shit, I'm sorry!" Wanderer cries out, head flopping back against the chair back, followed by a long moan and a string of curses that also contained a couple of his teachers names, "fuck them" he grunts, closing the books on his desk to finally give you his whole attention.
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🔖 TAGLIST : @stygianoir @hiraethsdesires
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roseskullsoup · 4 months
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“I have a boyfriend” (monstadt edition)
pairing(s) — kaeya, diluc, venti, albedo x male reader
warnings — reader is drunk, alcohol, reader pukes at some point. lmk if there are any more!
genre(s) — fluff/crack, kinda suggestive
important notice — if ur fem aligned please don’t interact with this post, my blog is strictly a nblm/mlm blog, thanks <3
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KAEYA ALBERICH
you had just finished a dreadful commission, and so decided to drink at the bar to help cool down and de stress
“c’mon now handsome, I think you’ve had enough and it’s time to go home hmm?” a sultry voice queried, looking to your side to meet none other than the calvarly captain himself
“hey… only my boyfriend is allowed to call me *hic* handsome…” you slurred in reply, clearly drunk off the booze
kaeya only sighed in response, before dumping a bag of mora on the table to cover the bill, and slung you over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes
“h-hey! whaddya think you’re doing?! where are ya taking me?!?! my boyfriend will be mad at you when he finds out” you huffed out angrily, clumsily hitting his back with your legs before giving up and falling fast asleep not long after
safe to say, kaeya couldn’t wait to endlessly tease you about the stuff you said the night prior in the morning
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DILUC RAGNVINDIR
simply sighs when he sees you have gotten yourself drunk off of his not so secret anymore stash of wine in his cellar
tries to carry you out and into bed to prepare you for the incoming hangover the next morning
“c’mon sweetheart, you’re coming to bed with me” diluc huffed out, before carrying you bridal style
“hey, put me down this instant! I’m not your boyfriend, nor are you mine! my boyfriend is very handsome and well known, he’s going to kick your butt once he finds out what you did to me!” you helped out, trying to push yourself out of his grasp and failing miserably
when you finally arrived in his room and he placed you on the bed, he gave you a smooch on the forehead before getting changed into his boxers for the night
“why do you wanna sleep with me so badly? I already told you I have a boyfriend! stop trying so hard” you cried out, throwing a pillow lazily at the red head
he only sighed in response, before getting into the bed and bringing you into his warm embrace
you fell asleep instantly, much to his relief
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VENTI
you’re both drunk
you both decide that you are not boyfriends
when you go back to the house, you’re both confused since you somehow live in the same place as each other despite never seeing each other
you both just kinda shrug it off and head to bed
the next morning in bed you both kinda look at each other then remember what happened the night prior
hangover ensues for you, but not for your boyfriend since he’s a god
don’t worry he takes care of you, kisses and hugs all day <3
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ALBEDO KREIDEPRINZ
when he came to monstdadt to talk to master jean about klee, he didn’t expect to see you out of the bar drunk, seemingly dazed
he decided that jean could wait and came up to you, ready to carry you back home if he had to
“c’mon now honey, let’s go home” he insisted, placing his hand on your shoulder
you pushed his harm off, glaring at him, looking cute more than intimidating in doing so
“hands off pretty boy, I have a boyfriend so no thank you” you slurred
“oh? and what’s he like?” he asked, humouring you
“he’s really smart, also very very pretty. he has fluffy hair and a big co-“ you halted in your words, as you were interrupted by puking on the ground
albedo grimaced at the sight, before telling a the bartender about it whilst apologising and dragged you to your shared house in the town.
the next morning albedo asked you “do you really think that my cock is big?”
© content belongs to @roseskullsoup, please refrain from copying or re posting my work on other social media platforms!
none of the characters belong to me, all of them belong to hoyoverse
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alhaithamsbook · 1 year
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after an argument <3
(genshin men x reader smau)
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GUYS IF ALHAITHAM DOESNT COME HOME IM GOING TO LOSE MY SHIT IM BEGGING THE ARCHONS PLS LET ME WIN THE 50/50 🙏
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poisonous-honey · 2 months
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Player: *listening to Writing on the Wall for the 100th time* Kaveh's just like me fr
Kaveh: *Feeling every emotion at once* pleASE STOP OUTING ME TO EVERYONE IN SUMERU AND THOSE ARE NOT THE TRAITS OF MINE YOU SHOULD BE RELATING TO ARE YOU OKAY
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dustofthedailylife · 4 months
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// Alhaitham x Reader, Crack
Thinking about how it's completely possible that when you tell Alhaitham to already "cut out" the Christmas cookies while you're gone, he thinks about it in an overcomplicated way.
You leave the house to get more powdered sugar and return to chaos™️.
He's trying to figure out how he is supposed to make star shapes out of the dough like you told him to and he is stumped.
I could imagine him drawing a geometrically perfect star shape on cardboard that he cuts out and places on the rolled-out dough. Then he starts individually tracing around that shape with a knife. It takes forever and he starts to wonder why people willingly put this much effort into cooking/baking.
When you return he has only cut out around 15 cookies. And while holding back a laugh you to open the drawer next to him and hand him the star-shaped cookie cutter.
"Why would people own things like this?" "To prevent them from doing whatever you're doing, Haitham."
TL;DR: Haitham doesn't know cookie cutters because he never really had the urge to bake cookies himself.
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seelestia · 1 year
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— 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐈𝐄, 𝐂'𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐄!
SUMMARY. some headcanons about sumeru men as your boyfriend in the modern ages. (teyvat who? we only know earth.)
CHARACTERS. tighnari, cyno, alhaitham, kaveh, scaramouche/wanderer.
GENRE. fluff, crack, modern au.
CW. lowercase intended, use of pet names, written before kaveh and wanderer's release, scara is referred to as kunikuzushi.
THOUGHTS. this format is a bit different than my regular ones, but i hope this is still able to tickle a little laugh out of someone <3
✰ masterlist.
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☆ TIGHNARI!
boyfie!tighnari whose unofficial job is to cook meals for the both of you; he actually doesn't mind, but what worries him the most is if you step into the kitchen — unless you manage to prove the existence of your culinary skills to him, that is. (#y/nramsay??)
"nari, i'm home!" you chirp, closing the front door behind you. the smell of something tasty wafts through the air and you peek into the kitchen like a curious kitten.
immediately, you are greeted by the sight of tighnari at the stove with your favorite apron on (yes, it has "kiss the cook" on it but tighnari would throw a ladle at you). it doesn't take long for him to notice your gaze lingering on him. tighnari doesn't even have to look back as he hums, "welcome home."
you lean against the wall with an impish grin on your face, "so... what's cookin', good lookin'?"
your boyfriend shoots you an unimpressed look, "...go take a shower, (y/n)."
boyfie!tighnari who combs your hair for you when you're half asleep in the morning. he takes care of his hair very well, so he might as well help you while he is at it. tighnari reasons that he does this because you look too sleepy to function normally… but maybe, he just likes admiring your sleepy face. (that trail of dry drool, though, not so much.)
"hey, hey, stay still," tighnari huffs an exasperated sigh when you start to lean forward in your sleepy state. he puts a hand on your forehead, stopping you from moving any further. "i can't brush your hair properly if you keep nodding off," he shakes his head.
you mumble, "so... tired..." his eyes soften slightly at the sound of your light-headed tone, "yes, i can see that. now, stay still."
boyfie!tighnari who tells you lots of unnecessary botany facts that you don't really ask for, but he looks cute nerding out, so you just listen without a clue.
"unnecessary? you might need these facts in the future," tighnari frowns, clearly taking offense when you throw his botany facts into the "unnecessary" category.
you snort, "yeah, for what?"
"for the possibility of me disowning you and leaving you to fend for yourself in the jungle one day," he says that so flatly that you almost do a double take.
he sounds like he's been planning that for years but he is just joking, obviously.
boyfie!tighnari who chides you when you get sick. no, he isn't mad, he is just very concerned... and disappointed. so, you get a nagging boyfriend with a mix of both.
"...are you mad at me?" you ask through sniffles and a runny nose. "no," tighnari replied as he places a neatly folded and soaked cloth on your forehead.
"you look mad," you point out with a pouty look. "no, i'm not," he responds with that dry tone again, trying to hush you by gently shoving a thermometer into your mouth.
"...i'm sorry," you mutter.
"if you are, then don't do that again. i thought i told you that—" and off into a ramble he goes. (in his defense, he cares for you so it only makes for him to worry... and nag like a mom.)
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☆ CYNO!
boyfie!cyno who clings to you like a koala when you wake up. you're like a source of comforting warmth that he can't help but snuggle. who would've thought that a scary fellow like him can be seen literally melting into you?
"cyno, i can't move," you utter quietly. as much as you'd like for him to cling onto you longer, one has to rise and shine eventually.
"...sorry," your boyfriend mumbles into your back, slightly muffled but audible and coherent enough. great, now you feel bad for telling him that.
boyfie!cyno who leans against you when he plays a game on his console. or, have you sit close to him when he is playing a card game because you're his "lucky charm".
"are you sure you'd win if i stay here?" you lay your head on his shoulder, peering into the console he is playing in his hands.
cyno nods without tearing his eyes off the screen, "even if i lose, i still want you here, anyway."
(is he... flirting? does he even realize he is flirting? yeah, he probably doesn't and he's cute for that.)
boyfie!cyno who puts little candies in your pocket for you to munch on when you feel bored.
you can't help the sneaky grin that makes its way onto your lips as you ask, "are you giving me these so i'll think of you when i eat them?"
this catches cyno by surprise. he almost splutters into a fit of flustered coughs, but he manages to hold his composure. "well, i-if you want to," he says meekly.
well, sort of managed to, anyway.
boyfie!cyno who scowls back at anyone looking at you the wrong way. scary bodyguard privilege, maybe?
"cyno, what's wrong?"
you raise a confused eyebrow at the stern expression on your boyfriend's face. he is looking at something behind you, but that deadly glint shines in his eyes already speaks volumes.
his arm sneaks around your waist to pull you closer, "nothing. somebody was just staring at you."
is he possessive or just protective, who knows? perhaps, both.
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☆ ALHAITHAM!
boyfie!alhaitham who sneaks glances at you from over his book when he is reading. he denies it, though.
"you really think you're sneaky, huh? i can see you looking at me from all the way over here," you laugh.
with how much time alhaitham has spent rolling his eyes, you would've thought he lost them by now. but your lover doesn't look ready to give up.
"are you sure you weren't just seeing things? i was too immersed in the book, if you haven't noticed," he responds to your daring statement (which contains the truth, actually).
you hum sarcastically, "sure, sure."
"think whatever you want," there he goes rolling his eyes, again — but he is fooling no one with that little smile on his lips.
boyfie!alhaitham who predicts the plotlines of every single movie when you two have a movie night.
"it's getting too quiet. i reckon it's probably time... and..."
you are quite literally spooked out of your mind, holding onto the pillow in your chest like it's a lifeline. but alhaitham can't seem to relate; with the way he leans back to take in the scene on the screen, he looks more bored than anything.
"—there goes the jumpscare. i saw this coming from twenty minutes ago."
you scrunch your nose in annoyance and throw him a light scowl, "can you, at least, pretend to be the least bit shocked?"
alhaitham scoffs before letting out the fakest noise of fear, if you've ever heard one. "...ahh. there, are you happy now?"
"this is why i hate you."
"what a roundabout way to say i love you, i appreciate it."
boyfie!alhaitham who acts irritated when you want to use his shoulder to sleep, but he lets you anyway, albeit he does so very grumpily. (indirect reference to a previous work i wrote!)
the weight of your head on his shoulder doesn't bother him that much, but he can't have you getting used to this. certainly not.
alhaitham sighs tiredly, "my shoulder isn't a pillow, you know?" you nod, yet you don't move an inch as you reply, "i know."
"i assume you also know that neck pillows exist? and for a very cheap price?"
"uh-huh."
he almost wants to push you off and throw a blanket over your head. not that it'll shut you up nor would he actually do that, but a man can dream about peace.
"well, if you know, then act like it."
"no, ignorance is bliss."
alhaitham hates that philosophy but he likes you; so, he doesn't really have much of a choice, does he?
"you little... ugh, fine."
boyfie!alhaitham who quizzes you on random facts. he doesn't expect you to get them all right, of course; let's just call it "sharing is caring" but with the concept of knowledge.
why are you even subjected to this? you've asked alhaitham this before, but he tells you every time that this is just his definition of 'fun'. (and that if you love him, you'll indulge. talk about affectionate blackmail.)
"...do i look like albert einstein to you?" you gape at him, crossing your arms against your chest in disbelief. how are you supposed to answer that isaac newton level question?
"if you do, then i wouldn't have asked," he smiles. a smile that you don't think you feel relief upon seeing, you can just sense that there is a hint of sadism somewhere in his expression.
"what do i get from this?" you are ready to whine your way out of his little game, but his answer to your question has your interest marginally piqued.
alhaitham affirms, "anything you want."
"...a kiss?"
"no."
that is alhaitham's way of saying yes; well, granted that you can somewhat answer the question, anyway.
"—and don't you even think about using google," he adds. darn it, looks like you're not gonna get that kiss.
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☆ KAVEH!
boyfie!kaveh who just feels his chest fluttering, his stomach exploding butterflies, his legs weakening every time you call him "your boyfriend". (he is the biggest simp for you, naturally.)
"kav, you're so old-fashioned for liking that type of sappy stuff," you stifle a laugh behind your hand. kaveh feigns a dramatic gasp, "ah! old-fashioned? i am not." he speaks again, but with a sulky hint to his tone this time, "being called yours and calling you mine are not sappy, is it not the truth?"
okay, he looks proud for saying that.
"flatterer," you roll your eyes. but then, you grin wide as you add, "my flatterer."
and only by doing that, kaveh swears you just shot an arrow through his heart. oh my gosh, you're so unfair, but you're also so cute that he wants to kiss you and smother you and— ahem, moving on.
boyfie!kaveh who always tells you that you're his only last thread of sanity whenever he deals with alhaitham.
"can you believe it?! that was what he said to me, word for word, verbatim! that jerk, i'll hide his work phone where he can't ever find it."
"good luck on that. he is about the same height as you, babe."
"[y/n], my love, you were supposed to be on my side!"
(okay, maybe you just wanted to tease him a little but god, that pout on his lips is beautiful.)
boyfie!kaveh who immediately keels over the spot every time you wear his clothes. how you look so adorable, how you smell like him... his one weakness.
"oh. my. days."
standing in the kitchen and that is the first thing you heard. not even a "hello" or a "good morning, love". you turn around, the shirt you stole from your boyfriend's corner in the closet on your figure, with a hand on your hip.
you frown confusedly, "what? what happened?" why, did the toothpaste run out again? you are about to ask until you see kaveh pointing a finger at you like a madman.
"my clothes. you're wearing my clothes," he stammers dramatically. you tilt your head questioningly, "...yes, and?"
"what do you mean, and? c'mere—"
boyfie!kaveh who kisses your hand as a greeting, as a habit, and as a hobby. he denies it but he really is into that old-fashioned thingy, huh?
"that tickles," you giggle when kaveh's lips brush against your knuckles. "a fitting greeting for my beloved, of course," he plants another exaggerated kiss on the back of your hand.
"if you like my hand so much, you might as well put a ring on it, then."
"wha— wait, did you just— did you just beat me to it? are you proposing to me?!"
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☆ KUNIKUZUSHI!
boyfie!kunikuzushi who always gets blushy-angry whenever you compliment him for literally anything.
you already know that your boyfriend is a man of many talents, if only he were willing to show them more often. this time, though; you somehow manage to persuade him into being the cook for tonight. don't ask how, you have your ways.
you bring a spoonful of food to your mouth, "mm, kuni, this actually tastes pretty good!"
you hear a gasp, an offended one.
"what do you mean, actually? of course, it'd taste good," he shoots you a glare, holding back an insulted snarl in the back of his throat.
"pfft, okay, okay. you should cook more, embrace your malewife side."
"my what— i will throw this plate at you."
yep, totally worth it.
boyfie!kunikuzushi who suffers because kids love flocking around him. he can't believe he is doing this, but he has no choice but to send you a desperate look that says "help".
this sight in front of you right now is far beyond priceless. seeing your grumpy lover being surrounded by enthusiastic children tugging on his sleeve is too good, too good.
you wonder what exactly attracted them to him? he isn't really someone who looks welcoming — but eitherway, you are enjoying this.
way more than you should, actually.
"d'aww, kuni, the kids love you!"
"...i wanna go home," he deadpans at you lifelessly while the children continue to jump around him.
boyfie!kunikuzushi who snorts when you accidentally hurt yourself but he still cares, at least. (he finds amusement in your clumsiness, one hundred percent.)
"so, i wasn't paying attention and walked into a glass door today—"
"pfft."
"...did you just laugh at my pain?"
"no. anyway, let me see the bruise. put some ice on it."
(at least, he cares.)
boyfie!kunikuzushi who grumbles every time you give him affection like an automated puppet (pun intended).
"ugh, stop doing that," kunikuzushi mumbles through gritted teeth; but not in a hostile way, he looks more... grouchy than anything. as per usual, of course.
you're merely holding his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze, he looks annoyed. but the funny thing is that he is barely resisting your affection at all.
you poke at him jokingly, "what? i'm just squeezing your hand. not like i was trying to squeeze the life out of you."
"it's annoying..." he scoffs before trailing off into a quieter voice, "do it again."
(is this what they call hypocrisy at its best?)
─ ⊹ ⊱ ・・・・・・☆・・・・・・・⊰ ⊹ ─
✰ TAGLIST: @meimeimeirin @hcikazu @tsuk4sa-yug1 @catcze @semi-orangeapple @yuuki4646 @d-a-r-k-s-w-a-n @dearmarri @omgscaramouche @coquettemaiden @lemontum — [ bolded names are unable to be tagged + register here to be a part of my taglist! ]
© SEELESTIA, nov 2022. do not repost, plagiarize, translate nor claim as your own.
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the-guardian-kitsune · 2 months
Text
a spur-of-the-moment piece! i was thinking about how would wriothesley's partner react to him risking his life in that cutscene when the primordial sea overflows and he almost gets crashed by that iron gate.
wriothesley x gn!reader; they're married. reader has a temperament and is a mercenary. traveler is aether; clorinde and neuvillette are there as well. spicy in the end (nothing explicit) but still mdni. not proofread.
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«neuvillette, hi!» paimon greeted, her and aether waving their hands as they approached.
wriothesley, clorinde, neuvillette and a few employees of the palais mermonia were gathered together, probably talking about logistics and other stuff. now that the crisis was over and the people of fontaine didn't have to worry about the prophecy no more, it was time to rebuild fontaine after the storm.
«no greeting for us? we're here too» joked clorinde, her face unreadable as usual, hadn't it been for a little smile on her lips.
«greeting the host first is the rule» aether replied, a little smug, earning a chuckle from neuvillette and wriothesley.
the group chatted for a while, each of them giving their input on this and that. a staff member arrived with some tea and cookies and left right after, followed by the colleagues in the room once the topics regarding them were discussed.
as the group moved to one of the coffee tables and took a break, wriothesley's figure froze in place as soon as he sat down. he raised his head, looking at the door, as if he was waiting for someone to arrive.
noticing that, paimon couldn't stop herself from speaking, her question aimed at neuvillette and clorinde after talking with wriothesley himself revealed to be futile.
«uhhh, why is he looking like he's awaiting his death sentence?» she wondered, her little finger pointed at the duke.
both her and aether looked at the champion duelist and the iudex with blown eyes, expecting gazes.
«just a few more seconds» clorinde murmured.
«as quick as usual» neuvillette commented.
from behind the door were heard the scared whimpers of the palais people as they probably got away from whoever's path to the office.
the door slammed open with a loud boom against the wall, a tall figure adorned in a mercenary attire standing there, a hand still on the wood of the door, the other handling a long, heavy sword covered in dried red splotches. probably blood.
«WRIOTHESLEY.» snarled the voice in a mighty tone, reverberating through the whole palais and maybe even outside of it.
paimon hid herself in aether's body, his arms automatically going around her small frame to protect her as the apparent mercenary stomped their way to their table, their sword unceremoniously thrown somewhere without a single care.
the blond looked at clorinde and neuvillette with a worried gaze, but their unfazed behaviour suggested that he may didn't have to give much thought to this situation. his golden gaze fled to the new entry, their eyes shining in rage as they approached the duke, who was trying to keep up his aloof demeanour despite being, for a lack of better words, scared shitless.
«hi there, gorgeous» he tried, an uncertain sly smirk on his scarred lips.
«don't. gorgeous. me. shithead.» they snarled, finally near the table.
neuvillette and clorinde smiled amused as the mercenary wrapped their hand around wriothesley's tie, pulling his face so close the tips of their noses were touching.
«no-» wriothesley coughed. «darling, not here in public, mh?»
«you shut the fuck up and listen to me before i decide to throw you into the sea from romaritime harbor» the nameless mercenary said, their voice low and grave, carrying a somewhat feeling of doom.
wriothesley gulped, silently agreeing that trying to keep talking would have resulted in the wrong turn of events.
neuvillette, clorinde, aether and a now-less-scared paimon were eagerly watching the scene unfolding right beside them.
«now explain, your fucking grace, why did i hear you almost got your head smashed by an iron wall coming down on you while the primordial sea was overflowing?» the mercenary asked, low, menacing tone wrapping their voice.
«well, you know that, as the duke of the fortress of meropide, it is part of my job to make sure it stays under control. but now it won't be a problem no more, as i'm sure you heard»
surprisingly, wriothesley was able to keep his voice together despite the cold sweat he was feeling running down his body.
«mh» was the monotone response of the mercenary.
they then let go of his tie, but their hand soon cupped his face, the tips of their fingers sinking in his cheeks, keeping his jaws shut. they opened their mouth and licked their other thumb before swiping away some crumbs sticking to the duke's lips.
«another stunt like this, wriothesley, and you'll be the newest guest in the fortress» what could be described only as an "insane" smirk appeared on the mercenary's pretty lips. «got it, duke?»
«crystal clear» the immediate, although choked, answer.
during the whole exchange, aether and paimon were so focused they forgot their cups, the tea now cold, their cookies untouched just as when they were firstly brought in the office. on the other hand, neuvillette refilled both his and clorinde's cups as the champion duelist helped herself to another cookie.
«let's go home now» the mercenary said – ordered – after letting go of wriothesley's face. the duke jumped on his feet, so focused on the latest entry he even forgot to properly say his goodbyes, merely waving his hand as he trailed after the mercenary like a puppy.
once the door closed aether's head snapped in neuvillette's direction upon hearing him wheezing behind his cup of tea.
«my apologies» the iudex said, still blatantly chuckling.
«who the hell was that?! and why did they barged in like a barbarian?!» paimon shrieked, stomping her little foot in the air.
«you just met y/n, the bloodhound of the palais mermonia» neuvillette told them.
«why does the palais need a bloodhound?» was aether's question as he took his cup, sipping on the cold tea.
«one with such manners, at that!» paimon added, her little hands crumbling a cookie from the rage taking over her.
«it's rare, but criminals might escape after trials or before they can get arrested. in those scenarios, the palais mermonia sends y/n after said criminals to bring them back, whether they're hiding still in fontaine or made a run for another nation» clorinde explained after brushing some crumbs off her lap, her other hand picking up her cup.
«i assume that y/n and wriothesley are in a relationship, given their... peculiar interaction from before» aether observed, putting down his cup for another refill.
«correct. they're actually married» was neuvillette's answer.
«their anniversary is close, isn't it? we should get a present» clorinde was now thinking out loud.
«it has already been a year? goodness, time surely flies» the iudex stopped with his cup mid-air, taken aback by the realisation.
as the two fontainians talked about gifts for the couple, aether and paimon just dismissed the whole ordeal completely, their attention back at the snacks on the coffee table.
«did you really have to make a scene like that?» wriothesley inquired, his gaze on your half-undressed figure.
he was sitting on the large mattress of your shared bedroom, his coat dismissed on a chair and his boots kicked off. you helped him out of his vest and unbuttoned his shirt.
«and wasting an opportunity of showing off how my husband is so head over heels for me? no chance» you chuckled, sitting on his lap.
you threw your arms around his thick neck and he threw his around your waist, pulling you so close there was barely any space left between your bodies.
«you're a wicked being, y/n» your husband commented, his lips lining your collarbones as you smirked.
«isn't that why you married me?» your answer, pushing him to lay down on the duvet.
you started kissing his now exposed chest, your fingers tracing over his scars as he sighed, cold hands caressing your warm body.
«one of the many reasons» his answer, still clinging to rationality. but you liked it more when wriothesley's brain shut down.
«that's good» you sucked a hickey around one of his nipples, earning a moan from your husband.
it was shortly after, with less clothes, that you got to see your man's mind completely crumbled, his only thought revolving around the pleasure you were making him feel.
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© the-guardian-kitsune 2024 do not copy repost translate or feed to ai
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Text
"I miss writing." You muttered, looking at your laptop that's resting on your desk. God, you wanted to write so bad, but you don't feel like it either. Whenever you sat down and— get ready to write, nothing comes in mind. It's like whenever you decide to write, your thoughts simply just dissolves and disappears like air.
You groaned in frustration as you struggled to come up with a single idea. None pops up. You don't feel the motivation, it doesn't feel the same. You feel exhausted just by taking a seat in your chair. Unbelievable, right?
"Why don't you just write then?" A voice from behind brings you back to Earth, a familiar voice that always sends butterflies into your stomach. You turned to look at the man, eyes staring directly back at his own. God, you sometimes forget how handsome this man could be.
"What do you know? I can't just write without a plot!" You utter, clicking your tongue in annoyance. Really, you can't. It just doesn't feel right. Without plot, how are your readers going to understand your writings?
Ah, stupid question.
They wouldn't understand without an explanation of what's going on, obviously.
"You think too much. Probably why your brain is all fried."
His words made you groan in response. He's can be such a sarcastic bitch, but he wasn't wrong. You probably overthink too much. Like your followers, requests, studies and how people think of you. Pathetic, really.
"You're right, I guess."
"You guess?" He asks, raising brow. Internally, the way he's looking at you is making you sigh dreamily. "Let me help. I'm not as skilled as you, but I might as well spare ideas." He continues as a sly smirk grows on his lips.
"wait. WAIT. WHAT'S WITH THAT SMIRK ON YOUR FACE?!"
—— SCARAMOUCHE, KAEYA, WRIOTHESLEY, cyno, kaveh, CHILDE, ayato, SAMPO, jing yuan + ANY OF YOUR FAVES 🫶
------
Continue the end with your imagination 🤭
I tried, and decided to end it here. I haven't written in such a long time, sad really. Thank you for my friend for lending me her laptop to use. Mine was accidentally spilled with coffee (sadly). Accidents happen though. It's fine. Hopefully I can get back writing more <3
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fandangotales · 1 year
Note
Head empty just
Sagau but readers cellphone now has infinite battery for some reason and theyre on tiktok and watching genshin edits until one of the acolytes sees and gets curious so reader shows everyone the edits made for then
Zhongli: why am i........geo grandpa
Xiao: morax isn't my father
Yae: what is an........Eiussy and why do these humans want it so bad
Venti: (trying to force scara to have anemo vision after seeing the sad scaramouche edits) BUT THE EDITS, YOUR BACKSTORY IS SCREAMING AIR BOY!!!
Scara: GET THE FUCK OFF ME!!!!
WHOOO MY FIRST REQUEST ASK!!!
anyways-
When I tell you that a phone in TEYVAT would be absolute chaos… I mean it.
I can 99% guarantee you that Albedo has asked to experiment on what he refers to as Their Grace’s “strange device.”
(Please keep your phone away from him, as it will not make it out of his lab intact.)
Other acolytes who aren’t as curious about HOW and WHY it works may find interest on seeing you use your device to watch videos.
The people of Teyvat aren’t familiar with advanced technology, so I’d assume it’s fair to say that they would treat your phone as a Divine Object, comparable to the Anemo Archon’s Holy Lyre.
Since you are The Creator, it would be valued a lot more.
Nobody, not even one of the Archons, is allowed to touch such a holy object. Such a thing would be viewed as incredibly disrespectful. How could any of them, lowly acolytes, have the audacity to come into contact with your beloved “phone”?
Now, assuming that the reader can still watch Tik Toks, of course they would like to share some of them with certain characters, because why not?
Also, why wouldn’t you let them in on some of the jokes that are popular in the Genshin Fandom?
If Zhongli knew that he was referred to as “Geo Grandpa” I think his reaction would be one of initial shock.
“What does the title ‘Geo Grandpa’ indicate, Divine One?”
After a little explanation from you, I think he’d catch on. He is aware of his age, after all.
Others may think that the title “Grandpa” is offensive towards a former archon of all things, but he doesn’t mind as long as you are the one saying it. The term “Grandpa” is often used between mortals in a family, so does this mean that you considered him as family?
Whenever you call him by that name, you can expect to see a soft smile across his features.
When Xiao discovered that the fandom considers his relationship with Morax to be one of father and son, he was speechless for a good minute.
You gave him a look, trying to suppress your laughter.
“So…? You’re not denying it.”
He huffed, crossing his arms. “Morax is not my father.”
You wheezed, clearly amused by his flustered expression. Xiao was avoiding your gaze, clearly trying his best to convince you that he did not see the older man as a father figure.
The term “Eiussy” was completely unknown to the Lady Guuji… until she joined you in watching the short films know as “Tik Toks” on the magical screen of the divine “phone”
Now, Yae Miko is quite clever, so it was only natural that she would grasp the concept of what “Eiussy” meant.
She watched a few videos which featured similar titles, such as “Tartussy”, “Scarussy”, and “Kokussy”. All of them played a key role in her eventual understanding of just what exactly “Eiussy” meant.
The very moment she learns the true meaning, I can guarantee you that she will casually bring it up in conversation.
“Your Grace, you would be welcome at Watatsumi Island anytime!” Gorou beams, waving goodbye to you from the docks of Ritou.
The Watatsumi ship had finally arrived, after a lengthy delay following your business meeting with the Inazuman Officials.
“Thank you, Gorou.” You started to say… but the ever famed doggy general had already boarded the ship, and was out of your sight.
“Hmm…” a recognizable voice trailed, as her hand lightly touched your shoulder. Miko gave you a knowing look. “I guess he wanted to get some of that Divineussy”
Your expression remained blank.
“Perfect use of that title.” You praised, staring after the ship, as it departed into the sunset.
If and when Venti saw all of the sad Scaramouche edits… let’s just say that you’d have to physically restrain him.
Restrain him from making his way over to the Balladeer as soon as possible, that is.
Scaramouche would just be doing Fatui work, maybe trying to convince the recruits that the stars are indeed a lie…
And… bam.
A random ass bard pops up out of nowhere.
“Good day! Would you be interested in gaining an anemo vision?”
“What the fuck.”
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matchaitham · 11 months
Note
If it's alright, because I really enjoyed your writing for when Alhaitham turned into a cat, may I ask what would've happened if Reader turned into a cat after him? Do you think Alhaitham would've figured it out, or would Kaveh end up getting to them first?
If you don't feel up to writing it tho, feel free to disregard!
Smitten Kitten 2
Alhaitham, Diluc x gn! Reader
Summary: After your lover had transformed into a cat for some ungodly reason, you both thought the cat-astrophe was over. Oh boy are you wrong.
Note: omg hii thank you for requesting! and so politely too! I was about to make a short continuation in celebration of getting 1k notes on the first part as well but you've beaten me to it ahabhwsha so here's your prize<3 (hope you don't mind how short it is)
Genre: fluff, crack
Warnings: none
( Part One ! )
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Alhaitham
The moment Alhaitham steps into his office and sees a familiar looking cat, he just resigns to his fate.
A wave of deja vu washes over him as he picks you up as gently as a 'feeble scholar' could, "Nod your head if you're (name)."
You nod.
Not again.
And while he knows that the way to dispel it is by giving you (as Cyno has eloquently put it) a true love's kiss, he's going to enjoy having you as a cat for a while.
"In all fairness, you did have my cat form all to yourself for some time," he reasons as your cat self deadpans at him. And oh, is that a barely concealed smirk on his face?
His plan was to have you in all your cat glory to himself. Away from any and every person, especially Kaveh, for the whole day.
But of course, the architect always has the worst (or best?) timing known to man.
"Alhaitham, I need you to sign a couple of─" Kaveh walks in and drops his stack of papers in shock, "Don't tell me that's..."
The scribe only grunts and turns his back against his roommate, shielding you from view.
You yowl for Kaveh to knock some sense into you lover, but he's too busy trying to pet you as Alhaitham holds him back by his collar.
It was almost a shame that no other scholar or matra walked into witness such chaos caused by none other than you.
"Come onnnn, I'm sure (name) wouldn't mind me petting them!"
"Meow!"
"They said no."
"How would you know!?"
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Diluc Ragnvindr
If Alhaitham tries to prolong your cat form for as long as he can, Diluc tries to bring you back as fast as possible.
But you want to enjoy your cat form :<
So everytime he tries to kiss you, you have to push his lips away with your little paws.
I know it's torture having to reject his kisses multiple times in a row, but it's for the sake of science! (not really??)
He gives into your whims after a while but not without giving you a petulant frown.
So now he's stuck in his shift at Angel's Share while you:
lazily drape over his shoulders, occasionally swiping at his hair/bangs with your claws retracted,
play with whatever piques your interest ranging from wine corks to wine bottles (be careful not to make them fall over or else you might risk giving your lover a heart attack)
hiss at any drunkard making a mess, and
topple over the drinks of those trying to hit on your man >:(
Diluc would be lying if he said that he didn't find your cat shenanigans adorable, entertaining, and very convenient too with how you drive away troublemakers!
Poor Venti had to find another tavern due to his allergy to cats lmao
It was all fun and games until Kaeya arrives and unintentionally steals your attention away.
You're too preoccupied playing with the captain's fur coat to notice how Diluc immediately leaves his post to Charles so he can steal you back.
And before you know it, the Darknight Hero whisks you away, back to Dawn Winery!
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kalliyen · 1 year
Text
Seatmate Sweetness
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Pairing: 4nemo Boys x GN!Reader (seperate)
Featuring: Venti, Xiao, Heizou, Kazuha, Wanderer
Genre: Fluff, Crack, teasing?? is that a genre idk, school au, modern au
Summary: Seatmates who have a sweet secret crush on you ;)
Reader’s Pronouns: Not specified
Warning: this is gonna be shit cause i haven’t written i so long bye 😘 🤾‍♀️
Disclaimer: ⚠️ ONLY A WORK OF FICTION!
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♯ Venti !
Venti as a seatmate would be….interesting to say the least
he’s that kid who’s always late even if he lives literally just across the school
he also has this tendency to sleep in class, when he finds the topic boring
which is, every topic in every subject
but when your homeroom adviser changed the seating arrangements and you were assigned to sit next to him, he started changing
he noticed that you were a very precise person. always at class on time very smart responsible the whole smart kid shebang yk
and when YOU were assigned to seat beside him, you were dreading it. great, now someone was just going to get in the way of your studies.
a few weeks go bye and venti is still the same as ever, slacking off, sleeping in class, and one day he even drooled a bit on your paper, which finally made you snap
luckily there wasn’t any teacher in class at the moment to witness you snapping
let’s just say his cheek was red for the whole day, and not in a good way.
he told his friends about it, which they said he deserved, which made him seethe even more
at night he thought about it, how you would focus in class, how your hair would cover you face when you double checking your notes
you looked adorable while doing it, he thought. now his face got even more red, now this time out of embarrassment
how could he realize he liked you after you slapped him infront of the class? was it a kink or something?
the next day, you apologize to him, which he didn’t even notice or listen to you for that matter, focused on your lips rather than what was coming out of it.
“venti? hello? are you listening?” you say waving your hand around his face
“i know how you can make it up to me y/n” venti starts, “really? what is it?” you say confused, tilting your head to the side
“we could go on a date together!” now both of your cheeks were a rosy pink
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♯ Xiao
now xiao here was the silent smart type as we all know, while you were the giddy type who couldn’t seem to stay in your seat
he didn’t really mind it to be honest, you rarely talked to each other. but there was an understanding that you both respected each other’s space.
when your history teacher, mr. zhongli, assigned you together for an assignment, you didn’t really mind. xiao was smart and hot, from what you could tell he was also somewhat kind in his own peculiar way
you worked on it together for the rest of the period, and xiao couldn’t help but notice his heart beating even faster than it did before. it always beated quickly when you were around, which made him feel confuse inside.
after class, he asked his father figure mr. zhongli (wow who would’ve thought i did this)
“i don’t know sir, whenever im near them my heart beats 10 miles an hour, i don’t know if this is a good or bad feeling sir, perhaps whenever im close to them i might meet my demise? is this a sign that something bad will happen if i go near them? should i stay away from them? but i don’t want to stay away from them, their very kind and sweet, albeit sometimes loud, and sometimes i-“
zhongli cuts off xiao before he can utter another word, zhongli comes to the conclusion that his son was very down bad for you.
“it seems that you have developed romantic feelings for y/n. and might i add xiao, i do approve of this liking towards them, they are a very caring and sweet person indeed. this is merely a suggestion, but why don’t you tell them how they make you feel? the school festival is about to commence soon, that would be a good opportunity wouldn’t it?”
xiao thought about it for a minute, yes it was a good idea. but how will he ask you?
zhongli suggests to ask you by word, or if xiao is too nervous then by letter, xiao decides on the latter part.
he goes home that day, on his desk, pen in hand and staring at the paper.
he has so much to say and at the same time, nothing at all. he wants to tell you everything and nothing at the same time. is this what love feels like?
finally after what felt like hours, he’s finished his letter to you, making sure it looks presentable, because you only deserve the best.
he makes sure to wake up extra early the next morning, and make it to school before you do
he places the letter on your desk, and waits for you, anxiously replaying all the possibilities in his head
lucky for him, the outcome he was expecting most, came to fruition
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♯ Heizou
heizou here is the diligent yet flirty president of your class. while you were quiet and kept mostly to yourself, choosing to draw in your sketchbook rather than converse with anyone.
it’s not like you didn’t have friends, you just didn’t like talking much.
since you sit on the front beside heizou, your often bombarded with the amount of paper he has piled on his desk because of yhe obscene homeworks the teachers assign you.
it kinda bothers you a bit when you barely have any room to put your things on your side of the desk but you don’t say anything, because every morning heizou sits at his side of the desk you can see his baggy eyes and unkempt hair which makes him 10x more attractive in your opinion. but he didn’t need to know that
during another one of his stress sessions you seem him struggling with a particular project in a subject you were quite good at.
but of course heizou didn’t have any balls to ask anyone for help, having the mindset of “because i am the president, i shan’t let anyone see any weakness.” (which was total bullshit btw)
you meekly tapped his shoulder which made his face bolt directly to you, way closer than he was intending
you offer your help, saying he clearly needed it and at this point heizou doesn’t have the energy to decline, so he listens to you explain the assignment in full detail, taking note how your eyes seems to glint in the sunlight and how your soft hands brushed his slightly calloused ones
he may or may not go to you when there’s an assignment on purpose, even if he fully understands the concept.
he thinks it’s a win win, he can spend more time with you and complete his tasks
(even if he’s just staring at you 99% of the time)
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♯ Kazuha
let’s be real this boy is rarely in school
but when he is at school, he’s just sleeping most of the time
when the teachers try to corner him with a question when they catch him dozing off, he manages to answer them correctly
they ignore him after that LMAOOOOO
but when you, transfer to his school in the middle of the year and get assigned next to him, he starts to take a liking to you
you’d make notes for him in class while he sleeps, thinking he had a rough night before, which he finds really nice and so adorable
of course in return, he helps you with concepts you don’t understand or if you’re having trouble understanding japanese
he doesn’t know how he ended up in this situation but right now your in his home, speaking to his moms and having dinner with them
it’s not like he didn’t like that you were at his home, quite the opposite frankly but it turns out that his mothers find out about his little crush on you
all evening his mothers have been indirectly teasing him, even going as far as almost revealing his crush on you
after dinner was finally over, he takes you to his room (his moms gave him teasing winks that made his face all red) and showed you all the memorabilia he’s acquired from his adventures with his moms
you found them so amazing, and when you look back at him he’s stepping forward to you which makes you freeze in place, despite feeling a quick warmth on your lips
your at his house even more often after that event ;)
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♯ Wanderer
absolutely HATES GOING TO SCHOOL
but is one of the top students 🤷‍♂️
his aunt makes him go saying that learning is an essential part at life
“auntie that’s bs i don’t-“ he gets slapped in the face
goes to school cause he didn’t wanna get spanked in the face again LMAOOAOAOA
as his deskmate he actually really really likes you, even more than a deskmate actually
but boy has no way to tell you
sometimes he sees that you have nothing to eat for lunch so he gives you his “extra” saying that he doesn’t want you to faint in class, making him take you to the nurse’s office
nahida always wonders why her nephew stays up so late to make food for 2 people, but she doesn’t push the subject further
you thought it was really sweet of him, and his cooking was amazing! why would people say that he’s mean and an arrogant bastard? (he is tho just not to you lol)
you wanna repay him with something, so you decide to make some brownies for him, not knowing he despises sweets
you stay up all night, wanting to make them as perfect as the food he gives you
you pack it in a cute lil bento with a lil thank you note sticked to it and get to bad, excited of what his reaction will be to the pastry you’ve made him
the next do you can clearly see the disinterest in his face when he sees your brownies (he thinks he’s hiding it well he’s really not) which makes you feel really bad
“do you not like them? i can make something else for you, i just wanted to return the favor since you always give me your extra lunch, i’m sorry if this isn’t what you like”
his face goes IMMEDIATELY red with embarrassment, mostly at himself because of how a dumbass he is 💀
“i didn’t mean it with i’ll intent y/n, it’s just that i’m not really fond of sweets, but i would like to try one” he responds an idea popping into his head
“really? what is it? i’ll make it for you! to make up for these ones you don’t like, just give me the recipe and-“ you get cut off by him hooking his fingers under your chin
“you”
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a/n: bye this is so cringe if my friends see this they will never let me live this down
if your my friend irl PLEASE RESPECTFULLY STFU 😂😂😂
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dorothy-rainbird · 1 year
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Literally can’t stop imagining isekai’d reader accidentally appearing in Genshin but before the main story. Like, they appear right in Inazuma when Ei was just done leaving her first prototype puppet-
Coincidentally our reader appears right before Kunikuzushi is about to witness his second betrayal and saves him in a very chaotic scenario.
Did I forget to mention that reader gets to keep the in game abilities and time having a very slow effect on them ( 1 hour in Teyvat= 1 minute to reader’s body) basically making them semi-immortal? Yeah reader is op in this fight me.
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Kunikuzushi walked the streets of Inazuma, fascinated but confused by the world around him. He was all alone with no knowledge on how to blend in….
As he walked he could feel others staring and whispering. He did not like it. He was just wondering what to do next when a loud noise from the stalls behind him caught his attention. He turned around.
In one of the food stalls, a person had just fell into the fruit crates from the above set of stairs. Did they jump? They were groaning while the owner of the stall was yelling at them. They wore…peculiar clothing. In fact they looked very peculiar, so different from everybody else.
Kunikuzushi was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the Shogunate Samurai yelling “GET THEM” from the same place from where the stranger fell. Before he could even blink, the stranger jumped from the crate and ran towards him. They grabbed his wrist and continued their dash.
“Bonjour, I’m here to fuck with the timeline! And you’re included!”, the stranger declared. Kunikuzushi wonders what “fuck” means but with the shogunate samurai on his tail he decides to focus on running instead.
“WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” He was confused and mildly scared that a random stranger just appeared out of nowhere decides to kidnap him.
“NO TIME FOR THAT HONEY JUST HANG ON!”
“???”
Ah, he hadn’t noticed that they are running into a dead end that is a massive wall. The stranger was unfazed tho.
Without stopping, they swooped him up bridal style and JUMPED onto a roof beside them. But because of the samurai still after them, they proceeded to parkour out of the city with Kunikuzushi still in their arms. The lad was screaming the whole time lol.
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The duo managed to escape the city and reach Chinju forest. The stranger panted for air and carefully let Kunikuzushi down. He scooted a good distance away when they did.
Exhausted, the stranger crotched down in front of him, still breathing loudly.
“W-who are you and why did you kidnap me??” Kunikuzushi fearfully asked again, but this this time there were a few sparks of electro around him…
Better start explaining.
“Listen pal, you don’t have to be scared. I ain’t gonna hurt you-“
“Then why did you kidnap me!”
“As I said, I’m not gonna hurt you. If I wanted so then I could have done it the way here.” The stranger replied with a poker face. Kunikuzushi gulped.
“Well then why were you being chased a-and…why did you kidnap me…?”
The stranger huffed and sat down.
“Guess I better explain it to you then…” they met his eyes, he was cautious. Speak wisely.
“*Ahem* Uh…well..you see…” He was staring intently. Don’t slip up about the game’s story or anything about the whole game in fact.
“I’m your…uh…guardian-“
“Guardian?”
“Uh- angel!”
“Guardian angel?” He tilted his head curiously.
“NO! I mean- I’m definitely anything but an angel h-haha..”
“You’re a d-demon?” His fear was back.
“NO NO! I’m uh…your guardian…” they looked into his eyes. And then finally spoke.
“FRIEND!”
“…..??”
“…I’m your guardian friend!”
A very awkward silence rung into ears. He stared. For a good few seconds until…
“You’re my…guardian friend?” He asked, a small curiosity in his eyes.
“YES! I mean- yeah, pretty much.” They smiled.
“B-but…is it normal for friends to kidnap each other??”
Fuck.
How are they going to explain that?
Well, worth a shot.
They took a deep breath and-
“Well you see…guardian friends are very special creatures. They are barely seen in Teyvat. And when the samurai saw me, they thought I was some sort of immigrant and tried to arrest me. I’m sorry I couldn’t greet you normally-“
“How do I know you are my guardian friend? Or how do I know if they actually exist and you’re not some crazy person? And what even was that “fucking with timeline” thing?” He was cautious again but the curiosity never left his eyes.
The stranger smirked. Time to put that in game knowledge in use, eh?
“I’m a person from the future version of Teyvat. Every once a while. Special people are chosen to time travel back into time to do whatever they want. I chose to be your guardian friend because you definitely need one. How would you explain my attire?” The stranger began explaining but Kunikuzushi had his doubts. He was about to interrupt when-
“I also know you like the back of my hand Kunikuzushi.”
He froze. The stranger continued.
“Let’s see, made as a prototype puppet for gnosis but-“
“OKAY OKAY I BELIEVE YOU” He quickly stopped them.
“Heh, you do?” The amused stranger raised an eyebrow.
“Y-yeah…but tell me, what do guardian friends do? I’ve never heard of them.”
With that question the stranger started giggling. Kunikuzushi tilted his head. Did he ask something weird? The stranger got up and with a cheerful smile,
“Ohohoho! That’s simple my friend! Guardian friends are just like guardian angels but more fun!”
“More….fun…?”
“Yep, we basically guide you and all but also provide company. Like a partner in your shenanigans. A friend! An amigo! A chum! A family!”
“A…family..?” He asked confused.
“Oh…do you not know what a family is?”
“No. What is a family?”
The stranger sighed with a small smile and offered him a hand. He was hesitant for a second but took it.
“Join me for a walk buddy, I’ll explain everything.”
He nodded and they strolled around the forest, hand in hand.
“A family is a special person, or a group of people. Don’t matter if human or animal.” The stranger plucked a flower and tucked it in his hair.
“They feel familiar. They feel comfortable. Like the warmth of a small flame.”
A few crytalflies fluttered overhead.
“No matter what happens you can always return to them. They are your home, somewhere you can rest when you are tired of the world.”
“…Do I have a family?”
“Not yet, but you do have a friend.”
“Can friends be family..?”
“They can.”
“So are you my family?”
“That is up to you to accept me as one.”
…..
A comfortable silence was enjoyed as the two friends sat underneath a tree, watching the glowing plants and creatures of the forest.
“I never got your name.”
“It’s y/n.”
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BONUS
Kunikuzushi: Y/n what does “fuck” mean?
Y/n: *chokes on air*
Also here is part 2
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cottoncandiescupcakes · 7 months
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Genshin: Fontaine be like
MURDER ALL THE OTTERS
THATS RIGHT. You have to. murder. a baby otter
KILL ALL THE WILDLIFE FOR PRIMOGEMS
CATCH AN ACTUAL SERIAL KILLER
YOUR UNCLE JUST KILLED 20 YOUNG GIRLS AND WORE THEIR SKIN AS A DRESS. WELCOME TO FONTAINE
HANG OUT WITH JUDGE CLAUDE FROLLO(hes yassified)
STARE AT A BLONDE WOMAN'S BOOBS FOR 6 HOURS
FAINT AS A HOT LESBIAN MURDERS A ROBOT WITH HER THIGHS
STARE IN HORROR AS SMALL FURRIES WALK AROUND LIKE THEY'RE PEOPLE
IS IT FRANCE OR ITALY NO ONE KNOWS
PEOPLE DRESS THEIR POODLES IN DRAG HERE Y'ALL
Fontaine: spend 5 hours catching robot fish
Fontaine: the map is so confusing you will cry
Fontaine: the water is laced with actual crack cocaine
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alhaithamsbook · 1 year
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wrong number prank <3
(genshin men x reader)
ft. scara, childe, kaeya, thoma, alhaitham
cw: cursing
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