#genuinely cannot find that middle one again to give credit so if anyone comes across it pls drop the link

[imaginepirates]

x x x | x x x | x x x

[oumakokichi]

hello! could you talk a bit more about the original (as in jp, not localization) ouma's personality and speech patterns? you've mentioned that he tends to trail off or speak more softly when it is implied he is speaking the truth, etc. and how he is not so loud/intentionally obnoxious. //btw when does he call himself a fairy? that's so cute

I got a couple of questions asking about the fairy line Ouma has, so I don’t mind sort of rolling them both into one! And I’m more than happy to talk a little more in-depth about Ouma’s speech patterns and personality in the original game, too!

Since I’ll be covering some late-game spoilers, I’ll put the bulk of this under the cut, so be careful when reading!

First off, I cannot stress how much I recommed playing ndrv3 with the Japanese voices enabled. If you’ve already played through the English dub but never experiened the original voice acting cast, I promise you won’t be disappointed. The Japanese cast are all fantastic, incredibly talented VAs who, unlike the dub, were hired specifically for these roles and not just re-casted from previous DR games.

Hiro Shimono as Ouma gives an absolutely incredible performance. The localization might still have many flaws in its translation and omission of certain lines or punctuation, but you can still very much get a feel for how Ouma’s character was intended by listening to Shimono’s performance. Re-playing the game with the Japanese voices will definitely let you hear how soft and tonally different Shimono’s performance is in places from the English dub, and compare it to the way in which many lines are written and punctuated as if Ouma’s yelling at everyone.

That isn’t to say that Shimono’s Ouma is never loud or excited: Ouma is a character whose moods and façades are all over the place, and therefore his performance requires a voice actor who can similarly change moods and intonation on a dime. Ouma is very much loud and haughty and deliberately annoying when he’s supposed to be, but his voice is also low and ominous at other points when he’s trying to be scary. And again, it’s soft and hesitant in places where he’s considering divulging some of his information, or when he’s insisting that all the things he does are for everyone’s sake, because he cares about them and doesn’t want anyone to die.

These moments feel so much more genuine in the Japanese version of the game--because they’re meant to be. As fantastic of a liar as Ouma is, it’s much easier for us, the player, to tell when he’s lying on a re-play, knowing the information from chapters 5 and 6 that we do, and looking at cues like his sprites (often his blank-faced ones) and, yes, his delivery of certain lines.

This probably sounds like me just gushing about what a fantastic voice actor Hiro Shimono is, and in part that’s exactly what it is, but I want to stress that pretty much every single voice actor in the Japanese cast is just as fantastic and that they all do their jobs incredibly well. With all that gushing out of the way, I’ll move on to talking about some of Ouma’s actual speech tics and the way he refers to other characters.

Like most things about him, Ouma’s speech patterns are sort of an interesting mix and even seem a little contradictory at times. He uses the very masculine pronoun “ore” (オレ), but he also refers to nearly everyone (with only a handful of exceptions) by their surnames and the much more childish honorific “-chan” (i.e. “Saihara-chan,” “Akamatsu-chan,” “Amami-chan,” etc.)

The use of “-chan” is very interesting. Honorifics in Japan are extremely complicated and tend to mean different things depending on who is using them. Typically, “-chan” is seen as a very feminine way to refer to someone else, commonly used in close-knit friend groups among school girls.

There are, of course, a few notable exceptions to this however: often times, middle-aged or elderly people will call a child “-chan” regardless of gender, as a way of showing they find them cute and endearing. And sometimes, people will use “-chan” to refer to other things they find cute, such as pets, or even to refer to themselves in a sort of informal, tongue-in-cheek way.

The fact that Ouma uses “-chan” as an honorific to refer to nearly everyone in the game stands out quite a lot: by and large, boys don’t use this term to refer to other boys. Using “-chan” to refer to anyone you’ve just met or don’t know very well is already somewhat frowned upon, but a boy using it to refer to other boys is especially rare. This helps set Ouma’s character up as someone who is both incredibly casual and informal with others (not to mention, you know, quite coded). Considering childishness and lightheartedness are traits Ouma values, and how much emphasis is put on him having “a very innocent, childish streak that’s hard to hate,” it makes sense then that he would talk like this.

Not counting Monokuma and the Monokubs, the only characters who Ouma doesn’t refer to with “-chan” are Gonta and Kiibo, who he simply calls by name. This also says some interesting things about his character.

Gonta is easily the character who Ouma interacts with the most often, as well as the charater he hurts the most in the end. Ouma’s choice to exclude Gonta from his usual way of calling people is, I think, a testament to how much Gonta really wanted to be friends with him, even if their friendship was never exactly on equal footing.

Meanwhile with Kiibo, I feel the choice to exclude him from his usual way of addressing others is indicative of how much Ouma tried to remind himself that Kiibo “wasn’t human,” and therefore how suspicious he found his presence in the killing game. We know Ouma suspected Kiibo and likely even had an inkling of his role as the audience proxy/camera in the game, due to how Kiibo’s picture is one of the only others set aside on his whiteboard besides Saihara’s, with the word “weird” written next to it (he also clearly guessed about the cameras after Gonta’s line in chapter 2, as we see from how he commissioned Miu for the bug-vac).

Ouma clearly enjoys teasing Kiibo a lot, and their banter reads very much like a manzai comedy duo; I feel like Ouma often tried pushing himself to remember that Kiibo “wasn’t human” on purpose in order to not get too attached to him or too distracted from his goal of ending the killing game. I don’t think Ouma’s decision to exclude Kiibo from the way that he very particularly referred to most of the rest of the group was just an accident or a coincidence.

Honorifics aside, Ouma also refers to several characters in interesting ways. He often uses “daisuki na ___-chan” (大好きな) to refer to some of the other characters, a phrase which more or less equates to “my beloved.” He uses this phrase with Saihara more than any other character of the game, but there are a few other instances where he does use it with Amami, Momota, and (if I’m remembering correctly) Kaede. Pretty much every single instance where the localization put, “because I love you” or “because you’re my favorite” whenever Ouma was talking to Saihara was usually a point where he would specifically call him “my beloved Saihara-chan.”

In chapter 4 during the scene where Ouma is alone in the parlor of the VR world, he also specifically, exclusively refers to Saihara as “suki ni natta hito” (好きになった人), literally: “the person I fell in love with.” This line was changed in the localization to, “when there’s a person I like,” which is more or less literally correct--however, the phrase “suki ni natta” is much heavier and more loaded with explicitly romantic implications than “suki” would be on its own, as it’s often used in Japanese love songs and shoujo manga love confessions.

Worth noting in my opinion is the fact that this is the exact same phrasing Maki uses to describe her romantic feelings for Momota. Since Maki’s feelings for Momota are considered canonically confirmed because of this, Ouma’s feelings should be considered equally canon, but a lot of people don’t know this because, well, it’s sort of been lost in translation.

And now, on to the fairy line! Ouma calls himself a fairy in chapter 3, when he pops up in the middle of Saihara and Korekiyo’s discussion of the katana in Korekiyo’s lab. Full of enthusiasm, he decides to touch the sword and examine it for himself; Korekiyo starts to object, but Ouma interrupts and says:

“Come on, it’s not a big deal! I’m like a fairy, so it’ll be fine!”

I’ve always really loved this line and thought it was super adorable, both as a nod to how fairies aren’t supposed to be able to touch steel in most fae mythos, as well as the fact that fairies tend to also have a love for mischief and pranks and lies. The localization apparently didn’t like it so much though, because this line is simply changed to, “Come on, would I lie to you?” instead.

One final thing I can think of as far as Ouma’s speech tics go is that his laugh in Japanese is romanized as “nishishi” instead of “neeheehee,” as this is closer to the Japanese onomatopoeia for the sound horses make--but I actually don’t mind this localization change at all! “Neeheehee” definitely looks a lot closer to the word “neigh” and helps capture that horse joke in a way that I feel like western players can more easily understand.

All in all, while I still definitely feel people can like and enjoy Ouma’s character from playing the localization alone, I still stand by my opinion that listening to the original Japanese voices helps give a much better picture of how the character was intended to come across, and really shows how much depth Hiro Shimono put into his performance. He’s quoted in the official ndrv3 artbook as saying that he believes Ouma is someone who’s actually “really meek if you take away his strong wish to outwit everyone” (credit to @kaibutsushidousha for the art book translation), and I think this interpretation of Ouma really shows through in so many of his lines.

Thank you both for the really fun questions! I hope I could provide some more interesting information about Ouma and the translation!

[rallamajoop]

The Witcher: The Games vs the Books part 2 – Characters and Accents

So, I've already talked at length about the relationship between the Witcher books and games, but how well they captured individual characters is its whole own subject – and you’d better believe I have enough thoughts on it for a whole extra post.

Andrej Sapkowski's skill for creating vivid and engaging characters really is so much of what brings the books to life, and no matter how much work an adaptation might put into worldbuilding and plot, it's the characters you've really got to nail to get the long-time fans on board. Especially when you’ve done what the games have, framing themselves as a direct continuation of Sapkowski's story. Nothing invites comparison to your source material like basically forcing fans to read the original novels to understand even half the backstory alluded to in-game. 

So how did they do? I can only offer my opinion – characterisation is necessarily going to be a lot more subjective than just telling you what plot points the games contradicted outright – but like any fan, I have opinions in plenty.

Of the main cast, I feel Yennefer is the character they've captured the best. They've done just as well with some supporting players – I have no real complaints about Dijkstra or Phillipa, for example, who are favourites of mine in both games and books. For the main players though, Geralt and Regis seem to be the ones who's differences I'm most inclined to forgive, whereas I don't feel like they've done Ciri justice at all. Book!Geralt is much less of a smartarse, for one thing, whereas Book!Ciri is much more of one. But if we're talking about the differences, I’m afraid we really need to start with Dandelion.

Dandelion

For all the genuinely good work the games do with characters, old and new, I don't think I can overstate what a disservice the they've done Dandelion, who I could not stand in TW3, but is now one of my favourite book!verse characters. Alas, Dandelion is a prime example of something the Witcher games really don't do well: camp. Being the archtypical bard, Dandelion is about as flamboyant as any enthusiastically-heterosexual man can be: you should be able to spot this guy by body language alone, he should be flouncing around and he should talk like a spoiled noble auditioning for Shakespeare. Book!Dandelion is over-the-top and ridiculous and just so much fun, and I loved him well before I'd even really gotten into the rest of the books around him.

Here's just a bit of dialogue from one of his first appearances, to give you a sense of how he and Geralt play off each other.

The  bard  seized  the  fingerboard  of  his  lute  and  plucked  the strings vigorously. ‘How would you prefer it, in verse or in normal speech?’ ‘Normal speech.’ ‘As you please,’ Dandelion said, not putting his lute down. ‘Listen then, noble  gentlemen,  to  what occurred  a  week  ago  near  the  free  town  of Barefield. ‘Twas thus, that at the crack of dawn, when the rising sun had barely tinged pink the shrouds of mist hanging pendent above the meadows—’ ‘It was supposed to be normal speech,’ Geralt reminded him. ‘Isn’t it? Very well, very well. I understand. Concise, without metaphors. A dragon alighted on the pastures outside Barefield.’

Though TW3's Dandelion certainly looks the part, you have to go hunting through art from the Gwent cards to find much that comes close to really capturing his personality (see left pic below – though even there, a Dandelion who'd voluntarily break his treasured lute is a very hard sell). Though a lot of fanart does better (right-below – credit goes to Tatiana Ortaliz).

But as poorly as the games capture his flamboyance, they're not that much better when it comes to taking him seriously. TW3 left me thinking he was all talk and no substance; the books make abundantly clear that he really is renowned enough to be welcome in courts across the continent. Though he often overestimates what he can talk himself out of, he isn’t stupid either: he's lectured at Oxenfurt, spied for Dijkstra, and then there are the moments where the frivolous playboy mask slips and you realise he's sometimes much better at understanding people and relationships than Geralt will ever be (which is honestly kind of funny considering how many of Dandelion’s relationships end with plates being thrown at him from an upper story). He's not at all above mocking Geralt when he deserves it either (and especially his personal and relationship issues) – Geralt will happily mock him right back.

We never do learn how they became friends (I'm pretty sure the incident listed in the wiki is just the date of their first expedition together, not their first meeting), but Geralt just doesn't form lasting friendships or romances with anyone he can't have an intelligent conversation with. And Dandelion is a damn good friend to Geralt – one who, despite being a helpless, squishy little bard, will keep Geralt's secrets under torture, or will follow him into Nilfgaard in the middle of a war simply because you don't let a friend make a trip like that alone. (Seriously, I don’t ship it nearly as much as some, but hot damn there is some material in here if you do.) In short, it's basically inconceivable that he'd leave an amnesic Geralt wandering around Vizima alone, as he does in the first Witcher game – which is the kind of thing I can mostly forgive as a gameplay conceit, only it doesn’t really get better from there.

He’s also supposed to be blond, something I don’t think is technically specified until fairly late in the novels, but 100% what I’d been picturing since his first description as a man in a colourful bonnet with cornflower-blue eyes (let’s face it: Dandelion’s hair isn’t the only thing about him that screams ‘blond’). It’s a shame no-one from the games to the show to the novels’ cover artists seem to have noticed – but at least there are some fanartists out there who were paying attention (credit for these goes to Asphaloth, Ghostcupdraws, Hvit-ravn (tumblr deleted), 94355 and itsmespicaa).

As for the games? Well, I cannot speak to how Dandelion came across in the original Polish, but I think it speaks worlds about the priorities of the English version that they didn’t even bother to cast someone with a halfway-decent singing voice as their master bard. There are isolated moments of dialogue that come close to sounding like book!Dandelion– mostly in Witcher 2, which comes closer to capturing the spirit of the books than either 1 or 3, or his attempts to convince his captor he's a disguised noble when you rescue him TW3 – but his voice actor is just painfully ill-suited to the role.

Geralt

Geralt fares much better than Dandelion, though he’s still a little hard to square with the Geralt of the books. Book!Geralt spends a lot more time sulking, just to begin with: he sulks because his job is complicated and gets him no respect, and because the world is unjust and unfair – and, most of all, he sulks because Yennefer has dumped him again. He also gets mocked for sulking, and usually deserves it. Book!Geralt is generally a lot more taciturn and a less prone to making smart comments just to have something to say – arguably because in book!Geralt's world, making smart comments often ends at the gallows, or at least with some corrupt official making your life much harder. Book!Geralt's world kind of sucks, and he's just got to put up with it.

As much as he often plays into the expectations of being an uneducated monster hunter, he's also got a more of an intellectual streak than you’d guess. He may prefer to stay out of politics (because damnit, his job is to save people from monsters, not people who are monsters), but he attended school at Nenneke's temple and has even taken classes at Oxenfurt academy, and there's a lot of thoughtful nuance to his opinions – his speech to Ciri about why he can't in good conscience take a stronger stance against the Scoiata'el contains a wealth of historical perspective, just for one example. Even his smart comments tend to be, well, somewhat smarter in the books.

Book!Geralt’s explicitly a lot younger than Yennefer – around 50 is the usual estimate, falling far short of the 100-ish the games suggest (the scandal of having a man fall for – gasp! – an older woman clearly didn’t bother Sapkowski one bit). You don’t see nearly as much "I'm getting too old for this" from book!Geralt, who's really not that old by witcher standards, and is apparently still hunting monsters long into his future. I'm also a little annoyed by the way they play off his hatred of portals like he's a grumpy old man who doesn't like mobile phones, when his distrust originally came from having seen the gruesome deaths that result when portals go wrong. This is not to say Book!Geralt lacks other ordinary human flaws, however – twice in the last two books of the main saga, he gets severely sidetracked after his ego gets the better of him (in the adulation he receives after being knighted, then after arriving in Toussaint), and it's quite some time before he properly gets back on track for that whole rescuing-Ciri thing again. He’s also pretty hopeless when it comes to romance and relationships – breaking things off gracefully is really not in his skillset.

So why does game!Geralt not bother me more? Well, he's the main player character of a game franchise, and one who has to carry the experience largely solo. Some adjustments for genre are pretty much inevitable in that position. He's certainly fared better than Meve, for example, who's been softened far more from her book characterisation for her PC role in Thronebreaker. Then there's the whole amnesia thing – it's easy to believe that sort of experience would change a man – and if he doesn't sulk so much as he used to, maybe he's grown up a bit. Geralt's also in many ways the straight-man of Sapkowski's Witcher universe – there largely as the reliable centre for other, louder personalities to play off. But I expect the real bottom line here is that I do still like game!Geralt enough to forgive him a lot of what he lacks.

The books never do describe Geralt as being very attractive – something book-based fanart often tries to reflect. The point has been made before that the rather-alien-looking Geralt of the first game (left pic above) is probably a lot closer to his book-description. However, the main distinguishing factor you’ll see in book-based fanart is probably the ubiquitous headband, which genuinely is what book!Geralt wears to make his hair behave (the example on the right above comes from Diana Novich).

All that said, if Sapkowski really wants me to believe that nearly so many women are eager to jump into bed with him, I’m going to have to shallowly assume our witnesses are unreliable on this front, and Geralt is at least as attractive as Witcher 3′s take on him. Nothing else makes sense. *g*

Regis

Regis varies mostly in that book!Regis is a lot more smug, sometimes verging on obnoxious – and a lot keener to make fun of Geralt (who generally deserves it). But then, Regis is old and wise and superpowered enough to dance rings around most everyone else – can you blame him? By Blood and Wine, Regis' overconfidence has been recently smacked down hard after his near-death-experience at the hands of Vilgefortz, and that kind of thing could knock some chips off anyone's shoulder. Throw in the fact that with Dettlaff, we have a situation not even Regis could make light of, and the changes to game!Regis make a certain amount of sense.

I do feel it's a bit of a shame that the vocal direction didn't work just a little bit harder to capture some of Regis' smugger side, or emphasise that his long-winded philosophising on human behaviour is supposed to sound a bit pretentious. This is actually something I suspect they were going for a few times in the script, but which didn't come through in the dialogue quite the way it was meant to. Still, again, I'm sure I'm biased by the fact that I like game!Regis far too much to find much fault in what they've done with him. They've done a lovely job capturing his friendship with Geralt too.

Looks-wise, there's a tendency in book-based art to portray Regis with long hair (even some pre-Blood-and-Wine Gwent art did so – see the two pics on the left above, from Gwent and early B&W concepts. The right-most pic is cover art from the books). I couldn't rightly tell you where long-haired-Regis comes from, though – perhaps it's described more explicitly in the original Polish, or perhaps it comes up in passing in some passage I've forgotten, though it may just as well just be a fannish meme.

The books do describe him as looking rather like a tax collector, slim, middle-aged, with an aquiline nose, prone to wearing black, and his hair as 'greying' or 'grey streaked', so presumably somewhat younger-looking than the game would have it. The hammer-horror-esque sideburns are likewise a game-verse addition, though I do like the look they went with – it's distinct from Geralt in a way that making him another long-grey-haired man wouldn't have been, and that's probably the point.

Being the hopeless Regis fan I am, I have quite the folder full of different fanart takes on book!Regis, so have a selection – art here is by gellihana-art, justanor, greysmartwolf, Nastyaskaya, NatalyLanier, beidak, natalliel, ellaine and afternoon63. For what it’s worth, I feel beidak’s (bottom pic, second from the left) comes the closest to what I’d have pictured personally, based on how he’s first described.

Ciri

I find it much harder to rationalise the changes to game!Ciri, who I didn't exactly dislike, but found stuck too close to the role of generic-macguffin-girl-who-just-wants-to-be-normal to be very interesting. Having read the books, not only do I much prefer book!Ciri, I'm not sure I can emphasize enough how much the game did NOT prepare me for utter gauntlet of whump and misery that girl survives in the last four titles. Book!Ciri is a character who works for me mostly because of the same flaws the game mostly strips her free of – TW3 makes some token noise about how you can't tell her what to do, but she’s an utter little royal brat when we first meet book!Ciri, and it’s so much of what brings her to life. She throws herself into her witcher training with the enthusiasm of a kid going completely native, but still revels in getting to be girly for a change when Triss first arrives at Kaer Morhen. She hates Yennefer at first, but soon bonds with her just as strongly as she ever did with Geralt, picking up some of Yennfer’s haughty mannerisms along the way. And then she gets thrown through a portal and lost in the distant wilderness, and the whole world comes down on her head.

The build up to the first time Ciri actually has to kill someone is intense... and things only get worse from there. Steadily. For another couple of novels at a stretch. Seriously, a major caveat that pretty much has to go into any rec for these books (and I will absolutely rec these books) is that Ciri's story gets heavy. So heavy one finds oneself using phrases like, "that time that one guy died of his wounds on top of her while semi-consensually feeling her up was honestly one of the less traumatic incidents in the period."

By the end of the novels, Ciri has nearly died of thirst, been beaten, tied up, dragged around the country as a prisoner, run with bandits and killed innocent people for the fun of it, done fantasy-cocaine and got a tattoo, fought off more than one attempted rape, been drugged, lain for multiple nights next to an impotent elf who completely fails to impregnate her, watched the bodies of her friends and girlfriend being mutilated in front of her, and did I mention where she got that scar? She has survived hell, and it is absolutely a testament to her own strength that she somehow comes through it and puts herself back together at the end. When Geralt finally arrives to rescue her, what matters most isn't that her ordeal is over, but that she finally knows she hasn’t been abandoned by everyone who’d ever loved her after all.

The Ciri of the books is fierce and wild and arrogant, but she's learned her morals from the best, and she holds onto them until she can't, then picks them back up again when she can, and above all she survives. For all that her story turns arguably too much of the last two books into a slog of misery, oh boy does it pay off at the end. And that's probably about as much as I can say about her Big Moment in the last book without spoiling too much, so suffice to say that by the end of the saga, Geralt has pretty much become a supporting character in Ciri's story, not the other way around. (Seriously, you’d be surprised how few chapters of the last two books he’s actually in.)

Finding art which captures the aspects of Ciri’s character and history which are missing from the game has turned out to be pretty hard, though the fanart above from her bandit phase takes a decent crack at it (credit to Loles Romero and NastyaSkaya). I do rather like that one shot of her on horseback beside her girlfriend too, which comes from Denis Gordeev’s illustrations for the novels (below).

How much of this does TW3 get across with her portrayal in the game? Well, she's still pretty headstrong, I guess. And they let you give a 'sorry, I like girls' answer in one bit of dialogue, so they remembered her girlfriend existed. That's nice. But game!Ciri still has a kind of wide-eyed innocence that book!Ciri lost years ago, while book!Ciri is a little force of nature in ways the games hardly even hint at, and that's a really shameful loss.

You'd think, with a character so young, it ought to be easier to imagine she's simply grown up since we saw her last, but so much of what's changed about Ciri feels like a step back rather than forwards. I can shrug off Geralt and Regis' differences and still enjoy their game-verse-selves, but Ciri leaves me genuinely disappointed.

I’d say the official art that comes closest to capturing book!Ciri is that one portrait of her as a very grumpy young child (right above). Some of the early concept art (left above) feels a little more like it has her attitude, though she’s rather too yellow-blonde – not to mention too pretty. I think it also bears pointing out that Ciri isn’t really supposed to be the kind of beauty she is in the game – even before she gets what’s meant to be a seriously ugly and disfiguring scar. (Fanart below by justanor and bobolip)

But of course, the male gamer fanbase can’t be expected to give a fuck about a girl they wouldn’t want to fuck, so game!Ciri must be generically gorgeous. Le sigh.

Triss

I suppose I should at least touch on Triss, too, though she's a very odd case. She's so out of character in the first Witcher game that I am wryly amused that the biggest thing they arguably do get right is that taking advantage of Geralt the moment he showed up with amnesia is... pretty well in-character for her (look, I gotta be honest here, I'm not much of a fan of Triss in any of her incarnations).

The second game does a much better job with her – she actually feels like book!Triss, she has some good dialogue, we're finally dealing with some of her conflicted loyalties to the Lodge and to Geralt – though by the third, her characterisation has been so softened into “the nice one” that none of that potentially meaty conflict is ever resolved, or even really mentioned. Perhaps there's more buried in the Triss-romance path, which I've never bothered with, but the writers seem to have just given up on dealing with anything that might make her look less than wholly sympathetic. Heck, we hardly even get a clear statement about why she and Geralt broke up between Witchers 2 and 3.

Even speaking as such a not-a-fan of Triss, I promise there is more they could've done with the character the books give us. There's her ongoing trauma in from the Battle of Sodden, where she was injured so badly she was memorialised as one the dead: the 14th of the hill. There's her furious impatience with the neutrality of both the witchers and the Lodge: Triss has fought and died for a cause, and is ready to do so again. The second game sort of gets into this, but by and large, the games really aren't up to tackling the moral complexity of having such a theoretically-sympathetic character as Triss, who was still broadly willing to go along with the Lodge's plans to pair Ciri off and get her pregnant as soon as possible – her own wishes be damned. No, instead, Triss has conveniently left the Lodge before the rest of them go spiraling into abject villainy in the second game, clearing all that messy grey stuff out of the conflict.

Of course, the really big unresolved plot point still hanging over book!Triss is how badly she needs to terms with the fact Geralt's just Not That Into Her, and never has been – but since the games want Triss to be a serious romantic option, that's definitely not getting the resolution it could've used.

Book!Triss also pointedly avoids any outfit with a plunging neckline because her chest is covered with the ugly scars she received in the Battle of Sodden, something the games did not have the guts to reproduce. In a more confusing note, the books do consistently describe her hair as 'chestnut', which we'd usually think of as meaning 'brown' – though it turns out the games actually may not have been wrong to make her a redhead, since in Poland 'chestnut hair' apparently mean dark red hair (google some pictures of actual chestnuts, and you'll see why). Still, the firy-red-haired Triss of TW3 who wears nothing but plunging necklines remains a bit of a stretch, however you slice it. Once again, TW2 gets her best (and I must say, gave her the nicest outfit) – though even here she's conspicuously unscarred in all her sex scenes.

(Leftmost pic above is official Witcher 2 art, whereas Triss-with-scars fanart comes to us – once again – from nastyaskaya)

Shani

Shani sort of falls into a similar category as Triss as someone who isn't terribly well-served by any of her appearances, given that both exist in the first game largely to compete for Geralt's attentions. But I can't honestly say I find Shani’s portrayal in the Hearts of Stone expansion to be much better – the degree to which either version exists solely to fall all over Geralt is a bit painful, especially given that their relationship in the books is limited to a single, undramatic hook-up. Book!Shani really only appears in a couple of chapters: we meet her as a medical student friend of Dandelion's, who's been surreptitiously selling pilfered university supplies to fund her degree, then later see her again in the final book, where she proves herself as a battlefield medic during the climactic Battle of Brenna. She's pragmatic to a fault, and I really can't see her as the type who needs Geralt to point out to her that her patient is dead, for example, or who'd subject a guy with Geralt's problems to such an extended feelings-dump as you'll get out of her during the wedding.

Shani is a reasonably logical book-character to bring back, if only because she’s one of those who explicitly survives the ending, but for my money, "serious contender for Geralt's affections" is just not a role she works in.

Anna Henrietta

The duchess of Toussaint, Anna Henrietta, is another case who differs more from her book counterpart than you might think. In the books, the duchess is by far the least competent of the (pleasantly many and) various female leaders and rulers we meet – she comes across as rather young and naive, and every bit as absurd as everyone else in the ridiculous fairy-tale duchy she rules. She is, for example, most displeased to learn that Nilfgaard's war against the north is ongoing (something her courtiers have carefully avoided mentioning in her presence), because she'd long since sent the Emperor a stern note demanding he brought it to an end. She promptly has one of her ministers sent to the tower for misinforming her, and demands the others prepare an even sterner note for the emperor, which will surely do the job.

After Dandelion (inevitably) cheats on her, she has him repeatedly sent to the gallows, only to change her mind and send him a reprieve at the very last minute each time. Picture yourself a much younger and prettier version of the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland, and you've about got her general vibe.

Blood and Wine sort of waves at this part of her character when she first speaks about Dandelion, and again in suggesting there's a widespread feeling she lacks compassion, and once more as she proves utterly immovable on the subject of her sister. But the generally sensible and insightful woman you deal with for most of the main story is a far cry from her book-verse characterisation. That’s a bit of a shame, because I feel like there's a lot more they could have done to blend the two versions of her. Still, it’s hard to argue the duchess we get suits the story being told around her.

Other characters

Much as I love Yennefer, Dijkstra and Phillipa, I don't really have much more to say about them because I feel the games have done such a good job. The Yennefer of the books gets to show a lot more depth and complexity simply because she has more scenes and more space in which to do so, but when ‘there isn’t more of her’ is your biggest complaint, the game is officially doing pretty well. I could certainly gripe her about how “dresses in black and white” seems to have been taken as “dresses in black with maybe a trace of white trim”, or how Yennefer and Triss seem to be the only sorceresses in the world capable of wearing pants, when Phillipa (just for one) is in sensible men’s clothing the very first time we meet her, but that’s getting into serious nitpicking territory.

(Not that Yen can’t look amazing in outfits with more white – art by Emily Caroll, theclashofqueens, BarbaraRosiak, and cosplay by greatqueenlina)

Vesimir, Lambert and Eskel, Geralt's fellow witchers from the School of the Wolf, fall into a similar category for me – though we spend far less time with them in the books, everything we see of them in the games feels like a fairly logical extension of their book-roles. Vesimir is somewhat over-played as the old fogey, and his death is painfully cliched, but the impact on the characters and Kaer Morhen still hits home – and the games do some especially great work expanding Lambert into a much more complex character. To my mind, the only shame is that more of the book-original characters didn't get the same treatment.

Who have I missed? There's Avallac'h, of course, but I think I've got him pretty well covered by that last post. Zoltan, perhaps inevitably, has had his personality largely flattened into 'generic dwarf', with nothing better to do than hang around Geralt and Dandelion. You wouldn't know Book!Zoltan was apparently incapable of turning away women and children in need, for example – even human women and children with the chronic inability to say thankyou for his help. Or that he eventually admits to Geralt that the luggage he and his friends are carrying comes from a decidedly unsavoury source for such a supposedly charitable, upstanding guy. Yes, even Zoltan gets to be a morally complicated character in the books – who knew?

Speaking of dwarves, pleased as I am that Yarpen Zigren gets remembered in TW2, he's an odd one to talk about, since even in the books, he appears to have had a substantial personality transplant between his two main appearances. Yarpen’s a largely comedic figure in The Bounds of Reason short story, where he cheerfully admits to having considered letting his men knock down a particularly pompous aristocrat and piss all over him to teach him a lesson, but he’s evolved into a studious voice of reason against the scoiata'el by Blood of Elves. TW2 doesn't do a particularly good job of capturing either version, which I suspect probably bothered me more than most people – I liked the later book-incarnation of Yarpen immensely (and not even just because he's one of few ever to really call Triss out on just how much she needs to stop misreading Geralt's friendship as anything more than it is). His chapter in Blood of Elves packs a hell of a punch.

On the subject of accents

I do have to wonder if I'd have warmed up to characters like Triss, Shani and Dandelion (or even Letho) more if they'd only had halfway decent voice actors. It's not just that none are exactly leading the talent at the acting part of the job, it's that their American accents stick out in TW3 like a sore thumb.

Geralt mostly gets away his own US accent by dint of being the very first character we meet, so we've gotten used to the way he talks long before we notice how he stands out – hell, maybe that's just how they talk down in Rivia (hilariously, book!Geralt eventually reveals he's not even from Rivia, but simply picked the place and taught himself the accent so he could feel a bit less like the abandoned foundling he is, which only gives us yet more excuse for why his accent might sound a bit weird). More importantly, Geralt is meant to stand out, to be the outsider wherever he goes, so having him sound like no-one else fits the character.

But neither Triss or Dandelion are "of Rivia", and by the time they show up we've had dozens of hours in a game where literally everyone else sounds British, or Scottish, or Irish, or vaguely-eastern-European in the case of the Nilfgaardians. So why do these weirdos sound like no-one else on the continent?

The short answer seems to be that every character with an American accent in TW3 is someone who had an American accent in at least one of the previous games, which were way looser with their casting and had enough incidental American accents around that they didn't stand out. Clearly, by TW3, consistency with prior games has been prioritised over consistency with literally anything else we’re hearing.

Gaetan is an exception to the rule as the only new character (at least that I caught) with an American accent – presumably because between Geralt, Eskel, Lambert, Berengar, and Letho (and cohorts), some sort of 'witchers have American accents' rule has been pretty well established (another random American-accented witcher shows up in Thronebreaker, just to underline the point). We're going to mostly ignore Jad Karadin here, since his British accent is presumably a recent affectation to go with his new identity, and so makes sense.

This still doesn't really work though, since Letho’s school is all the way down in Nilfgaard (land of the Eastern European accents), while the oldest witcher from Kaer Morhen (Vesimir) is the one guy with a British accent. He sounds nothing like any of his students, despite the fact he's logically the guy they ought to have learned their accents from. So the logic falls in a heap however you slice it, and I'm thrown right out of the game.

With TW3 as your intro to the series, it feels almost as if characters like Triss and Dandelion have been assigned American accents because they're just too important to be saddled with the same pedestrian British accents as everyone else, which did nothing to endear them to me. The only one I eventually warmed up to was Lambert, and then only because he's just such a bitter asshole that he eventually goes full circle and comes out the other side (somewhere around when you've heard his miserable backstory, then gotten drunk together and told him how much you love him, man). Gaetan similarly snuck in under the same clause – American accents clearly work better for me in this series when attached to characters you're supposed to find pretty insufferable on first impressions.

Some final notes

To conclude, it seems only fair to throw in a quick nod to some of the more memorable book-characters who don't appear in the games. Neither Mother Nenneke (Geralt's sort-of-surrogate mother) or Vissena (Geralt's biological mother) ever appear either, alas – Vissena doesn't even merit so much as a Gwent card, which seems quite the wasted opportunity.

Milva, Cahir and Angouleme – the three remaining companions of Geralt’s who died alongside Regis but who were not so easily resurrected – naturally don’t appear. But nor are even really mentioned in all the games, which seems rather less than they deserve after giving their lives to Geralt's cause.

Cahir and Angouleme do at least have pretty badass Gwent cards to their names, though I am properly offended that Milva (who has the dubious honour of being my very favourite book character who doesn't ever appear in the games) is stuck with a card of her freaking death scene – which not only gets the scene wrong (believe me, there was no grimacing and gripping the arrow buried shallowly in her chest for poor Milva), but doesn't even bother to get her hair the right colour, for fuck’s sake. Basically, Milva was a stone cold badass and absolutely deserves better. #justice4milva

One can only guess how I'd have felt about some of these characters had I read the books before playing the games – I am obviously biased towards forgiving changes to characters whom I liked in their game incarnations, regardless of how they compare. Still, I think it does speak wonders that there still all these characters who suddenly made sense only after I'd met them in the books.

Even if only for Dandelion and Ciri, I can only dream of seeing a bit more of the book-original characterisations make it into the collective fannish consciousness. There's nothing wrong with getting into the canon purely based on the show or the games, but having read Sapkowski's novels, it's no longer any mystery how they spawned this massive franchise. That the saga wasn’t even fully available in English until well after Witcher 3 was released – a solid couple of decades late, and long after it had already been translated into Russian, French, German, Spanish and more – is a real shame. For once, it’s us in the anglophone world who’ve been missing out: these books deserve so much more than to be thought of as a footnote to the games or the show.

[bittysvalentines]

Would That I

From: @lizards-online

To: @pieandpucks

Sometimes in life, things are missed. Opportunities are lost, but as a whole we cannot stop moving. Still, something feels left behind, dropped in a time before. We keep going, with something lost and something gained, until life gives us our chance again,to take destiny’s chance to reconnect and find what is lost. 

At Samwell University resided one Dr. Jack Zimmermann, a professor of history with an affinity for ice sports and queer literature. His smile was kind and his hair was just beginning to hint at touches of grey. He was a hard grader, and his readings were long, but his passion for teaching and his love of his students always showed through in his work. Students left his classes better thinkers, harder workers, and with only the smallest crush on him. Okay sometimes, not so small. Even the straightest of men recognized that Dr.Jack Zimmermann was a resident hottie. Rumor had it that he was voted “Samwell’s Most Gorgeous” four years straight back in the day.  

 Jack shuffled a few papers at his podium so as to get them in order before the end of his lecture. “Everyone, thank you for your attention today, just remember if you want to earn some extra credit points, you can attend one of the alumni guest lectures that will be on campus this weekend, and then write a one page response on the speaker’s topic and your thoughts. I’ll be popping in to a couple of the speakers myself, so if you see me, don’t be afraid to say hello.” 

Jack began walking across the front of the classroom, dispersing flyers advertising the Alumni Symposium to be passed back. 

A student in the back of the room raised her hand, staring down at the flyer in her hand “Dr. Zimmermann, when did you graduate Samwell?”   

Jack paused for a moment. “2015. Why?”

“Well, I was just looking at the graduation year of some of these alumni, and it says here Eric Bittle Graduated in 2017. So that means you were only two years ahead of Eric Bittle when he went here!” 

The class erupted in murmurs and comments. Eric Bittle was one of Samwell’s most famous alumni. He led Samwell to the Frozen Four his senior year, while being the first out NCAA hockey captain, was drafted by the Falconers and was the first openly LGBT+ player in the league. He won the Stanley Cup his rookie year (first of many) along with the Calder and Art Ross. Even outside of hockey he was famous for his witty vlog which evolved from a cooking vlog to a hockey, cooking and life blog with now over 18 million followers from all walks of life. 

Jack swallowed hard. Yes, it was true, his time at Samwell and Eric Bittle’s time did overlap by two years, and in fact, during those two years, he ran into Eric all the time. They were...friends. Shitty made sure of that. Jack would watch the hockey team’s games, not only to support Shitty, but to watch Eric weave and maneuver across the ice unlike anyone else. Even though Jack had decided against playing in college, he never did lose his love of the game. Meanwhile Eric would hover about the library doing anything but homework when Jack was working. Plus, the semester they took a class together was definitely a bonding experience. But it had been a long time since they had spoken. After Jack graduated, he felt too awkward reaching out to someone who he had a massive crush on but was WAY out of his league. And when one month turned into two, and then one year turned into five, and five years into a decade, Jack had trouble remembering where all the time had gone.

“Hah. Uh, yes he was two years younger than me. We had a class together once.” Jack decided firmly against mentioning his large crush on the blond to his entire History 336 Seminar. 

The students in the room all lamented about how cool it was that their professor knew a celebrity. 

Jack closed the door to his office and scrubbed his hand over his face and let out a sigh. Would it be awkward to see Eric again? Would Eric even remember him? Probably not. It was just a youthful crush. Even if Eric was still as attractive and charming and wonderful as he was back in the day, Jack was far past his prime. He could just not go to that lecture, but he felt drawn to it, as if something wanted him to see Eric speak. Jack picked up his phone and dialed the most recent number. It picked up on the first ring. 

“What the FUCK is up Zimmermann, to what do I owe the pleasure of one of your rare and coveted calls? Are you in legal trouble? Did you kill someone? Did you kick a goose and now you’re losing your Canadian citizenship?” Shitty was Jack’s best friend. He was boisterous and energetic but genuine nonetheless. His words washed over Jack with a wave of excitement and familiarity. 

“Haha Shits. I’m good. And no, no geese, at least not this time. I was just wondering, would you want to come down to Samwell this weekend? There’s an alumni symposium going on, and I think you’d enjoy the speakers.” 

“Ah ha old Jackabelle misses me. Of fuckin course I’ll come down to the symposium, but I’ll warn ya man I’m not gonna sit through more than ONE old white man talk. ONE. Who's the lineup anyway?”   

“I can forward you the flyer but  just off the top of my head: there's the current head of the English department, Dr. Masawa, she’s gonna be talking about her book, um Dr. Atley is going to present some research, and um, Eric Bittle is going to be there.” 

“Bitty fucking Bittle? The myth, the man, the legend himself? Well fuck my ass and call me chicken we HAVE to go to that. It’s been like FOREVER since I’ve seen Bits. What a fucking beaut. We texted a bit last month but it's been like a year and some since I last got to hang with him. You know he’s got a daughter now?” 

“Oh. Uh, no?” A daughter. Jack’s head spinned. He knew he didn’t have a chance with Eric but he didn’t realize that Eric had gotten married and had a kid. That would’ve been big news right? Was Jack really that out of the loop? He needed to read the news more. 

“Yeah she’s fuckin adorable as fuck. Like, two, three now maybe? He posts pictures of her on Facebook like all the time.”

“That’s uh pretty cool. Listen Shits, I have to go I have a, uh, book to read. I’ll see you this weekend. You can stay at my place. Text you bye.”

“Bye Jac-” Jack hung up the phone before Shitty could fully say goodbye. Why did he feel like there was a pit in his stomach? He didn’t care that Eric Bittle was a married father. So what? It’s not like he had a chance with him anyway. What would he have done? Gone up to him after his speech and say “Hello, I had a crush on you in college, and then we never talked after I graduated. Want to go on a date?” Even if Jack had had the confidence to do so, it was literally impossible now because Eric was a married father, a professional hockey player, celebrity, and an A Level hottie. All Jack had was a doctorate, a wall of books and a million papers to grade. He wasn’t even in the shape he had been in when he was in college, so really, he didn’t have anything to offer. Jack should just shut out all the fantasies of those big brown eyes, and golden hair, and gorgeous toned legs. Gosh what was he doing? 

Jack crossed the room and slumped into his chair behind his desk and picked up a stack of papers sitting on a chair beside the desk. The best way to distract himself was to drown in work. 

Eric Bittle woke up at 6 a.m. Saturday morning to the sound of his daughter crying. He was tired and sore from his game the night before, and a bruise was starting to form on his left thigh due to a nasty check from a Bruins defenceman but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. 

Eric threw off his sheets and rushed into his daughter’s room. Allie was just about two and a half years old, and was in the midst of potty training. Unfortunately for him, Eric was also in the middle of the thralls of hockey season so a lot of the potty training fell on her daycare teachers. Being a single parent was tough. When his cousin Elizabeth had passed away, leaving her and her partner’s daughter to him, he had no idea what to do. He had been five years into his professional hockey career, out, single and totally unprepared for the hurdles of parenthood. 

He pushed open the door to the nursery to find his daughter sitting upright whimpering. “Oh you poor thing. Looks like we’re going to have to get you changed real quick now aren’t we Miss Allie?”

Eric brought her to the changing table and cleaned her and dressed her for the day. It was a little earlier in the morning than he had planned, but he needed to get a move on to get to Samwell in time for his guest lecture. Eric had reached out to his old advisor and she recommended him an education major who would be glad to watch his daughter while he spoke and mingled, not wanting to be away from her for the entirety of his day off. He dressed her in cute bunny socks and a yellow shirt and white pants. She was just about the cutest thing in the world. Soon Eric himself got dressed, packed a diaper bag and headed out. 

On his way Eric’s thoughts winded through his head. It had been quite some time since he’d been back to his alma mater. Samwell had been such an influential and formative place for him. From developing his hockey skills to coming into his own as a gay man. And even though he never did have a long lasting romantic relationship, the friendships he made there pushed him through his life and helped him become who he was. Thinking back to some of the people, he thought about the boys, Lardo, some of the other team captains, and his mind landed on one Jack Zimmermann. 

Eric had always had such a massive crush on Jack, with his boyband bangs, his droopy eyes, jaw that could cut glass and a behind that would give greek statues a run for their money. Eric had first met Jack through Shitty, but then subsequently kept running into him in the dining hall, gym and then one semester for a class. Jack would come to their games and Eric would watch him stack books in the campus library while he pretended to do homework, but always ended up back at the circulation desk, talking about everything and nothing until it closed. They had been friends, and Eric had had the largest crush on earth on the sad-eyed Canadian. But Jack was way out of Eric’s league.  He had been voted Samwell’s Most Beautiful for four years straight, and suitors were constantly trying to ask him out. And then Jack graduated, leaving Bitty yearning for what could have been. According to Shitty, Jack was a professor at Samwell, but the two hadn’t really kept in contact. After the fact, there had been some boys, some boyfriends, even some hookups, but nothing lasting more than a few months at a time. At 30 years old Eric Bittle had never been in a relationship longer than 9 months. 

The sight of Samwell pulled Eric out of his thoughts and Eric shook his head. He had things to do, and he wasn’t going to let ghosts from the past distract him from his job today: to speak about Samwell, sports, and his activism. 

Jack entered the packed auditorium with Shitty in tow. He smiled and waved to a few of his students while Shitty was speaking as if he was a physical manifestation of stream of consciousness. They took their seats in the front row reserved for faculty, staff and alumni. 

“I wonder what he’s gonna talk about. I hope he brings up all the swawesome shit the SMH did. Like that one kegster when-” 

“Wait Shits shhh there he is” Jack cut Shitty off. 

Eric Bittle walked onto the stage with a mic affixed to his shirt. He wore tight fitting navy blue slacks that highlighted just how well the NHL had bulked him up. His top two shirt buttons were unbuttoned on his white and navy blue patterned shirt. The sleeves were rolled up ¾ of the way showing off the definition in his arms. Jack’s throat immediately went dry with his face getting more red as the moments ticked on. 

Fuck. Eric Bittle was even hotter than he remembered and was a million times more attractive in person than he had been in promotional pictures. And his voice, the accent was so cute! Keep it together Zimmermann, that’s a married man. Jack was going to have a hard time sitting through this entire speech. 

  Fuck. Eric walked on stage, scanning the audience and almost immediately his eyes landed on one Jack Zimmermann. He was wearing a tweed jacket, with glasses and his hair was just a touch grey. Time had been very kind to Jack. Eric’s throat became dry as he stumbled his way through his introduction. Shit Jack was in the front row. How was Eric going to concentrate when the hottest man in the world was right in front of him, watching him speak for an hour and a half. 

Clapping. Jack was clapping. He zoned back in after having not actually comprehended a single word for the past 90 minutes. He had just sat and stared at the most gorgeous man he had ever seen and tried not to get a boner. Shitty was speaking to him. Jack needed to respond. 

“Yeah. He does look good in those pants” Shit. Probably not what Shitty asked him. 

“Not what I was talking about, but yeah you know what now that you mention it, mother fucker looks fresh as fuck! I gotta fuckin tell him those pants are doing it for him.” Shitty bolstered himself out of his chair, and up the steps and onto the stage where some faculty were gathering to congratulate him on his speech. Jack followed. 

“Eric Mother fucking Bittle” Shitty bellowed as he walked, Jack close behind, to where Eric stood, now holding a young baby girl on his hip as he spoke with alumni and faculty alike. 

Eric turned to face the two men and smiled. “Shitty B. Knight you best not be swearing around my daughter like that. And Jack, it’s good to see you. It’s been awhile.”

“Fuck yeah it has been. You two were adorable back in the day. You should’ve kept touch more!”  Shitty laughed. 

Jack smiled awkwardly. “Yeah it has been a bit hasn’t it? I’m sorry I never kept touch. Congrats on the hockey, and the Stanley Cup, and the marriage and uh, kid.” 

Eric’s face twisted into a confused half smile. “Marriage? Jack Zimmermann I am not married. I was her godfather. Life happened and now I’m her Daddy.” Eric looked at her, and kissed her forehead softly.

Jack’s brain short circuited. Not...married? “Oh so are you…”

“No I’m not seeing anyone. I’m doing quite fine with her all by myself.” Eric blushed. 

“Okay I see where this is going, I’m gonna back out of this convo..” Shitty etched away from the two men. The latter hardly noticing. 

Jack awkwardly ran a hand through his hair. “In all honesty, Eric, remember all those years ago, when we went to Samwell together. I had the biggest crush on you, but you were so out of league I never did anything about it. I should have, but I was a bit of a coward.”

Eric’s face turned a bright shade of pink as he stammered out a response. “Jack Laurent Zimmermann! You had a crush on me back then? I’ll have you know I pined for you for two whole years thinking you were straight until someone told me YEARS later that you weren’t, and then when I did realize you were an option, I never thought in a million years that you would be in my league anyway. You’re meaning to tell me you had a crush on me that entire time?” 

Jack blushed furiously. “We both had crushes on eachother I guess. I’m sorry I never made a move on you back then. If it means anything, I’d like to uh make one now.”

“Well how about our timing. Gladly Jack. Here, ” Eric pulled out his phone with one hand, careful not to disturb Allie, and handed it over to Jack. “ text me.” 

Jack put his number into the phone and texted himself. “In the meantime, would you like to catch up? It’s been a long time.”

Unbeknownst to the two men, several students stood by in shock, watching their professor flirt with and score a date with a literal celebrity. Two in the front high fived. “Get it Dr. Zimmermann!”

[winterverses]

The Hollow Ones

My ears hear what others cannot hear. Small, faraway things people cannot normally see are visible to me. These senses are the fruits of a lifetime of longing. Longing to be rescued. To be completed. -- India Stoker

Slim, deft fingers. It was those he noticed first as he stood there waiting for her to be finished wrapping his bouquet. Elegant brown hands, unpainted nails, with no sign of calluses or work-roughened skin. The regular woman had calluses, just faint ones, one on the side of the first joint of her right middle finger and the other on the heel of her left palm. This woman’s hands were soft all over, as if she spent a lot of time or money making sure her hands looked as if she’d never worked a day in her life. Touga looked up, mildly curious.

An unexpected wave of deja vu rolled over him, making him catch his breath. Deep purple hair was gathered into a knot at the back of her head. Sea-green eyes, long-lashed and heavy-lidded, not watching him. A faint smile on her beautifully curved lips… one that, despite knowing nothing about her, he could have sworn was fake.

But why would it be? He had no reason to believe it wasn’t genuine. The conviction remained with him, however, unshakable. The feeling of deja vu grew stronger. 

He had an account at the quiet little florist in the bottom of the office building. It made things easier-- he was always buying flowers for someone, for some reason. Often they were for himself. The flowers he took home were always the ones she was wrapping up now, the silvery, red-lipped Osiria roses. He had them ordered in specifically for him. No need to waste them on someone who wouldn't appreciate them. But this girl was new… wasn't she? Certainly his order would have been written down, but she hadn't consulted the proprietor or any list, just immediately gone to wrap up his roses as soon as he entered. He hadn't even spoken to her yet.

May as well make sure those really were his roses. “Excuse me,” he began, walking over to her.

Her hands stilled completely and her eyes shot up to his face as if startled. Almost immediately, her hands started up again and she gave him a bland, polite smile. “Can I help you?” she asked, as neutrally she would to any stranger.

No. Something was off. Something wasn't right here. Intrigued, Touga gave her his most sincerely charming smile. “I believe those are my roses, but… I could swear we’ve met. Haven't we?”

Always just a little too perceptive, a little smarter than anyone had given him credit for. Anthy saw Touga notice her surprise and felt faintly irritated. Not much smarter, but enough to make him annoying. They'd worked together well once, long, long ago, but she didn't want to see him now. He shouldn't have remembered her. “No, I don't believe so, sir,” she said, smiling her blandest, most boring smile. “Are you Mr. Kiryuu?”

She'd half-hoped that he'd recall his father and be put off. He must have been too used to it for that. “I am. Are you certain we've never met?” His slate blue eyes were probing, too interested. She didn't want him to be interested in her. He laughed, a little chuckle that was meant to sound endearingly embarrassed. She knew he felt nothing of the sort. “I'm sorry if I'm too insistent. I just have the strangest feeling that I know you… or maybe I did, once.”

“I don't think so, sir,” Anthy said, still smiling, and taped the bouquet shut. That was what she got for not paying attention.

Before she could punch anything in on the cash register, he stopped her. “I have an account,” he said, and he'd grown up enough that he didn't say it with any particular inflection. Years ago, it would have been bragging.

“Thank you so much for your patronage,” Anthy said, smiling exactly as brightly as a grateful proprietor would to a valued customer. Touga left, but that curious look never left his eyes.

The next week when he came in for his roses, that strange woman wasn't there. Nor the week afterward. He had the oddest feeling that she was avoiding him; there was no reason on earth for her to do so, nothing that he could possibly have done that would put her off… but he'd seen her eyes narrow slightly when he'd asked if he knew her. She hadn't liked that. It wasn't a reaction he was used to receiving. Oh, maybe it had happened once or twice when he was younger, but he never needed to make up for a bad first impression now. He could hardly imagine how to begin.

Normally he would have ignored her and gone on with the rest of his life. She was unimportant, barely on the periphery of his awareness. He should have forgotten about her the moment he'd left the store.

That he hadn't was proof enough for him that he should pursue her further.  Whimsy rarely played a part in his decisions. Impulse was something he'd carefully controlled all his life. This… was different, somehow. Was it because of that strange feeling of familiarity, or was it because she had been indifferent to him?

Either way, he found himself sweetly rejecting his current paramour, making sincere-sounding apologies and assuring her that it wasn't her fault and that perhaps someday in the future he would be open to something more, and no he didn't want her waiting for him, and it was all so ridiculously tedious that he had to keep himself from becoming short with her display of emotions. He would definitely stay in touch, definitely not lose her phone number and forget her name the moment she was out of sight.

It was no more than any of them deserved. Their eyes lingered on his expensive suits and his antique car, his impeccable looks and perfect body. He knew very well that he was a status symbol to them, a set of price tags and the expectation of gifts, a promise of sweet words and pleasurable evenings showing off to their friends that yes, they were desired by him. He lived up to it. It was simpler than finding something real.

Breaking up gave him a reason to go to the quiet little florist when he normally wouldn't, and of course, that woman was there. His skin was suddenly at attention, as if her mere presence had him awaiting her touch.

Was that what this uncertainty was, some strange sort of foreplay? Was that how those others felt about him? It was impossible to tell. And he couldn’t let it sway him; despite the twinge of attraction, what he most wanted was to know more. She was a mystery. 

Again, he was here. Anthy damped down her internal frustration. Yes, at Ohtori they had colluded on certain things, worked together for certain ends-- Saionji came to mind, the outburst that she and Touga had driven him to with the illusions, the bloody slash across Touga’s back. Touga had orchestrated that… but he couldn't have done it without Anthy's willingness to play her part. Masking her irritation, Anthy again gave him her blandest smile, standing behind the counter as if the barrier would protect her from him. “Is there something I can help you with, sir?” she asked. Hopefully he would think she had forgotten his name.

He shouldn’t have remembered anything. None of the others had. The only one she hadn’t spoken to was Saionji; his attachment to her had been too strong, and she had worried that it would break his forgetfulness if she approached him at the kendo tournament she’d seen his name listed in. She’d watched him fight from the sidelines, his movements more controlled now, his mastery of the sword evident. Without her to push and sway him, his temper was no doubt easier to master.

Touga hadn’t been there. Perhaps that was another reason Saionji had seemed more at peace. Perhaps that was why he’d won the tournament, grinning widely as a brown haired girl had rushed into his arms at the end. Touga’s absence had made these things possible.

But here he stood, giving her a charmingly embarrassed smile, the tips of his fingers delicately stroking the lip of one of the roses in the vase near him. They were red as blood next to his pale skin. He still kept his fingernails long and perfectly manicured. “I’m afraid I need some cheering up today,” he said, his smile turning a little regretful. “Is there anything you can suggest?”

Anthy had to try very hard not to press her lips together in irritation. That was no more sincere than anything else he did. She knew it because she had been that hollow, once. His question demanded a question in return, an inquiry about the reason for his feelings or an investigation of his preferences. She decided to go with the latter. “Which of the roses makes you happiest?” she asked, not moving from her spot.

A mistake. She’d gone with roses without thinking, and she saw that curiosity flare in his dark blue eyes. There was no reason for him to be curious! He only ever bought roses! “Usually it’s the Osirias, but I know you have to order them in. You don’t happen to have any now, do you?”

“I’m sorry, no,” Anthy said mildly. She knew very well that he always ordered the Osirias. And… to tell the truth, she couldn’t blame him for his admiration. They were uniquely beautiful, the petals luminously white on the outside, red as sin on the inside. “Those are difficult to get without a few days’ notice.”

He shrugged, his smile quirking in a careful construction of understanding. “I suppose I’ll have to be satisfied with something else. Could you possibly tell me a little about the other roses? I’m curious.”

There was no way she could remain behind the counter then, not and keep her façade of welcoming customer service intact. “Of course,” she said, coming out from behind the counter, walking the few steps across the room. “Is there any specific color you prefer?” she asked as she came to stand near him-- but not too near-- her spine straight, her posture as remote and perfect as it had been when she had been the Rose Bride. “Orange, perhaps? It is comparatively rare.” She gestured toward an arrangement of orange roses, one that had maroon chrysanthemums scattered among them for contrast. 

She had to admit she’d been thinking of Juri when she’d made it. Their brief encounter at a fashion show a few years ago had left Anthy thoughtful; Juri was as elegant and detached as ever, and there had been no recognition in her eyes when Anthy had complimented her on her wardrobe choices, a closely fitted, dark pinstriped suit with a maroon ruffle spilling out at the throat. Her hair was looser than it had been, falling over her shoulders in graceful ringlets. She’d accepted the compliment graciously and turned to look for someone in the gathering crowd waiting to be let in to take their seats. A smile suddenly lit Juri’s face, and Anthy thought she’d caught a glimpse of maroon hair before Juri strode off, following that glimpse.

“I’m not one for orange,” Touga said, his voice shattering her remembrance. His eyes were on her rather than the flower arrangement, his gaze probing. “I do enjoy rarities, though. I’m glad you noticed. Are there any other uncommon roses you can show me?”

If only he’d stop watching her… but Anthy knew his mind was working, teasing at the edges of the forgetfulness, trying to figure out who she was, what she was. The intense attention was a little unnerving; she had cultivated an air of unimportance and used it well back then. It had obviously lingered, in spite of her efforts to be the person Utena had imagined she could be. 

Even thinking the name hurt. She’d looked so long and found… nothing.

She swallowed, knowing he would notice that she was unsettled but unable to keep it entirely to herself. Her voice was calm and unwavering, however, and her smile as vapid as always when she answered. “If you’ll come over here, we have some blue roses you might like. They were once said to be impossible.”

He somehow ended up standing beside her at the next arrangement, his Italian-cut grey silk suit almost brushing the arm of her dress. His proximity made her even more aware of him, a little shiver wanting to run up her spine. He’d always had that effect, though it had never worked on her before-- possibly becoming less hollow made her more susceptible to physicality. Anthy gestured at the arrangement, blue roses and white lilies spilling from the tilted vase in a cascade of petals. “Something like this, perhaps?”

He reached out to fondle one of the roses, languidly glancing at it as his fingers made contact with the velvety surface, then looking back at her, his eyes intent as his fingers stroked the petal. “Did you make this?” he asked, and while he only sounded curious, there was an undertone in his voice that brought memories rushing to the surface.

Miki. They’d played with him, batted him back and forth between them like two cats toying with the same mouse. Anthy's hints of sexuality, and Touga’s brazen use of it. It had spontaneously appeared, that game between them. They’d never spoken of that secret game, not even to each other.

Miki was none the worse for it, thankfully. Anthy had been to one of his concerts, had the chance to speak to him after his performance. The auditorium had been packed. As Anthy had walked up to the passage backstage at the end, she’d caught sight of a blue haired woman in the front row. Miki himself had been as bashful as ever under the heaping praise, but there was a new strength to him now. Perhaps he’d found his shining thing after all. He’d smiled at her, shook her hand, and accepted her compliments with no recognition at all. Once his attention turned elsewhere, she’d left.

The remembrances rushed through her mind in an instant, but she hesitated too long before she spoke and she saw Touga’s blue eyes flicker as he noted it. “I did, yes,” Anthy said, her voice as mild and placid as always.

“You have a wonderful touch with beautiful things,” Touga said, that undertone in his voice like the purr of some giant, self-satisfied cat. His fingers stroked the petal, his nail lightly scraping the skin of it. “It’s very beautiful… but I think I’d prefer something more genuine.”

Of course he knew that blue roses were dyed. Of course he would know that. And of course he could somehow make it about her rather than the roses. Anthy knew what he was doing… but that didn’t entirely stop it from working. She nodded her head, acknowledging his point, and said, “I may have something in the display cooler.”

Once in the cooler, of course he stood close enough that she could feel the warmth of him contrasting with the frigid air, like standing in the chill air a moment before stepping into a warm bath.

There was a bank of yellow roses overflowing the cooler buckets on the left, an order that was about to be made into centerpieces for a wedding. He chuckled fondly when he saw them, and Anthy knew he was remembering his sister. Nanami had done well for herself, making it to the top of a successful finance company. Anthy had seen her once, coming out of her building into the busy street, surrounded by a cloud of followers that she was barking orders to. Pretending clumsiness, Anthy had bumped into her hard, as if she’d stumbled. Where the old Nanami would have thrown a fit, this one asked, if a bit impatiently, “Are you all right?” Her lackeys fluttered around them, steadying them and offering assistance. Anthy had answered her and they’d both continued on their way.

Behind the exuberant burst of yellow roses, near the back, there was one lone rose that might suit Touga’s overly discriminating taste. Anthy lifted it gently from the cooler bucket, bringing it up for his inspection, the unfurling flower so dark a red that it might have been black.

It was a mistake. She realized it as soon as she’d done it-- she’d lifted the rose up to him, and his eyes had widened, as if with some realization. His hands came up, clasping the stem of the rose, careful not to touch hers. “I’m sorry to bring it up again, but there’s something so familiar about you. Are you sure we’ve never met?”

“Never,” Anthy said, feigning surprise. Of course lifting up a rose to him would tease loose another thread of remembrance. She should have known. Why hadn’t she known? Was that something that came with being human, did losing that hollowness mean she also lost some of her clarity of thought?

“I could swear…” he said, trailing off. His fingers did not touch hers as he lifted the rose from her hands. He hadn’t touched her back then, either. Once she’d been his bride, he’d dropped all pretense of seduction. He’d known he hadn’t needed it, not with her. She was the Rose Bride. But… he’d never used her that way. He hadn’t even touched her unless it was necessary for their deceptions. That felt almost kind.

But then, he knew very well what it was like to be objectified. Against her will, Anthy felt a little swell of kinship with him. 

“Lovely,” he murmured, glancing at the rose and then back to her.

Mustering her professional demeanor, Anthy asked, “Would you like me to make an arrangement for it?”

A lazy grin curved his lips. Anthy could tell it was so practiced that he barely knew he was doing it anymore. “Sometimes I prefer beauty unadorned,” he said.

“At least let me wrap it for you,” Anthy said. As he acquiesced and followed her from the cooler, she couldn’t help but wish that they were on the same level, whether that meant that she was hollow again or whether that meant he had chosen to be human. They might have been able to coexist somehow, in some nebulous way her mind couldn’t define. Maybe it was just that she wanted someone to talk to after all this time.

She’d been wavering, Touga knew it. Those sea-green eyes had changed from blank and impenetrable serenity to alertness, watching him carefully, weighing his actions. It was perhaps the first time she’d really looked at him. But the wavering had come to nothing; when he’d asked about the possibility of knowing her outside of her workplace, perhaps at a little café he enjoyed, she’d gracefully declined. Wishing her a good evening, Touga started for the door, his mind flicking through potential options for changing her answer.

Another customer bustled through the door before he was halfway there, an older woman in a designer dress, a scowl marring her smooth brow. In her arms she held a potted rose bush. It was covered in deep purple blooms, the barest hint of white deep in their hearts. She almost ran into him, ignoring him completely, and she was speaking before she even reached the counter where the intriguing woman stood. “This is not what I wanted. I told you I wanted Midnight Blue longstems. This is a shrub.”

The woman with the sea-green eyes responded mildly, “Midnight Blues aren’t a longstemmed variety. We told you that when you placed your order, and you said you would take them however you could get them. I’m sorry if we misunderstood you, but there is no way to get Midnight Blue longstems. They don’t exist.”

Revulsion prevented Touga from leaving. Carrying his single dark rose, he stepped back, drifting around to the side of the counter and listening to the exchange while pretending to browse the flower arrangements.

“If you like, we can refund you the cost of the rose bush,” the green-eyed woman said calmly.

“Oh, you’ll do more than that. You’re going to pay for my gas getting here, the half hour I spent talking to you then, and the time I’m spending talking to you now,” the other woman sneered. “Lawyer’s rates. I round up to an hour for consultations. And I’m going to lodge a complaint with whatever governing bodies are concerned with this business, starting with the rental owner here.”

Disgust had been building in Touga’s mind through her entire speech, and it peaked at her last declaration. This was ridiculous. Before the purple-haired woman could answer, he spoke up, striding over to the counter. “I’d also like to file a complaint. Do you mind if I get your name so I can make the process smoother?” he asked, pulling out his phone to take notes.

The customer smirked triumphantly at the woman behind the counter before looking to Touga and giving him her name. “It’s so good to know I’m not the only one this business has taken advantage of,” she added.

“I’m sure it would be,” Touga said, “but I’m asking you to leave the premises, ma’am. I’m the owner of this building, and if you don’t remove yourself immediately, I will file a complaint. With the police, for trespassing.”

The only expression on the woman’s face was shock. Excellent-- he’d caught her completely off-guard. “You can’t do that,” she finally said, visibly starting to gear herself up for another tirade.

“I absolutely can. And I promise you, I can hire an entire team of better lawyers than you.” Replacing his phone in his pocket, he withdrew his wallet and pulled out a couple of bills, handing them to her without looking at them. Hopefully they were ones. “For your trouble,” he said. “Now leave.”

Flabbergasted, the woman reflexively took the bills, then collected herself and left with a huff, the quick taps of her high heels cut off as the door closed behind her. Once she was gone, Touga turned to the woman behind the counter. “It appears that lovely rosebush is back in your inventory. I’d like to buy it from you.” Not that he thought he could keep it alive, but at least he’d be able to enjoy the sweet clove-like scent for a little while, before it died.

When he looked at the green-eyed woman, however, he caught a glimpse of an almost stricken look. Blinking rapidly, she cleared it away as best she could, but Touga could tell her composure was hanging by a thread. “Take it, if you like,” she said. “As thanks.”

He shook his head, opening his wallet again and pulling out one of the large-ish bills. “Don’t be ridiculous. A business needs money to run.” Laying it down on the counter, he picked up the potted rosebush and started for the door.

Just as he touched the handle, he heard her voice, a note of urgency in it that had never been there before. “Wait,” she said. “Please.”

Looking back over his shoulder, he saw that stricken look again, as if something had pierced her to the core. And again, she blinked it away, although this time she couldn’t seem to recover the placidity she had worn like armor. Touga turned toward her, waiting for her to speak.

“My name is Anthy,” she said as she came out from behind the counter, walking toward him as if choosing her steps on precarious new ground.

Touga smiled, meeting her halfway. When she looked up at him, that blankness was nowhere to be seen; she was curious, uncertain, and something about her wide eyes and the set of her lips suggested a barely-hidden ache that he couldn’t define. Instead of trying, he said, “The goddess Antheia.”

She smiled, a puff of air that was almost a laugh escaping her, as if the reason for her amusement were a secret she couldn’t voice. “Yes. Possibly. I do love flowers.”

“I don’t know how to take care of this,” Touga said, nodding to the small shrub he was carrying.

“If you like, I’ll teach you,” Anthy said, her smile fading. “But… it’s been a long time.”

Touga nodded. He knew she wasn’t talking about the plant.

And that was how, a few days later, this fascinating, mysterious woman that felt so familiar lay in his bed, draped across him, both of them still breathing hard and utterly satisfied. Even in bed, she had felt so familiar; a gesture or a look would suddenly strike him as something he’d seen before, somewhere he didn’t remember. It was a little dizzying. Outside of the bedroom there had been talk, of course… but there had also been silences, and that was something he’d never had. Those silences were a chance to set aside his endless performance, and something about Anthy made it possible to do so. It was as if she knew him from the inside, knew what lay beneath his performances. Sometimes it seemed she would react to his inner thoughts rather than what he’d done.

It was… comfortable. He should have been incensed that anyone could presume to know him that well… but something in him wanted it. After all these years of playing his role, there was something attractive about being able to set it aside.

Not that he would ever speak to her about it. That was too personal, even for a lover. He was under no illusion that this would last… but for now, the enigmatic silence she brought with her soothed him like cool darkness after an eternity under the glare of a desert sun.

He slid his hand up her back and she shifted gently so that her head was pillowed on his shoulder. She smelled like roses and sex. Familiar. “I still feel like we know each other,” he said.

It took a long time before she answered. “We never will,” she sighed.

Weighing the answer in his mind, he decided it was sound. He had no intention of laying his soul bare for someone else to carve up. There wasn’t enough of it left for that sort of nonsense. “Good,” he said, and continue to stroke her back, his fingers tangling in those glorious purple curls.

It had been so long, so very long since Anthy had left Ohtori. So long to fight for herself with no one there to help her or protect her… was she backsliding? She couldn’t tell. But there was more humanity left in Touga than she had thought, or he wouldn’t have stepped in to get rid of that awful customer. Such a small thing. She dealt with angry people from time to time. Their threats never came to anything. But to have someone look at her situation, decide it was wrong, and immediately attempt to change it without asking for anything in return… it really was such a small thing, but it felt like water for the parched land of her soul. 

It wasn’t something she could give up. If it had been someone else, yes, she would have let them go, deciding they were a good person and admiring that. But Touga wasn’t a good person. She knew that. He’d protected her in spite of what he was… and she couldn’t help remembering the way they had treated each other in Ohtori, the delicate dance around their respective territories and the brief moments of concord between them, cut short as if they had subconsciously known that getting too close would be disastrous.

They could never hurt each other now. Their walls were too thick. And eventually they would tire of each other and drift away, but for now it was good to be held by him and know that something in him thought she was worth protecting even in defiance of his selfish, cold nature. And it was good just to be held by him, although she sometimes recognized a gesture or a look that could only have come from Ohtori. 

His hand slid up her back, nails dragging lightly on her skin, and she felt goosebumps follow it. It had been a long time since she’d slept with anyone, and the break in her celibacy was welcome. She shifted so that more of her body was pressed against him, her head resting on his shoulder. “I still feel like we know each other,” he murmured, his voice a purringly satisfied sound that failed to disguise his questions.

Should she answer those questions? Should she let him know? If any of them could handle it, it would be him. He was already unhappy, she knew, though he didn’t feel it because of his hollowness. It wouldn’t destroy him to find that years of his life were lies the world had told him; he’d had his reality shattered long ago, first by his parents, then by his adoptive parents, then by Akio, then by Utena… one more shattering could hardly do that much damage at this point.

But then she would have to explain herself. If she did that, she would make herself vulnerable to him. That was not an option.

“We never will,” she sighed, a little sad that it could never happen, but mostly relieved. Keeping her silence meant he could never hurt her.

His hand slowed to a halt on her back while he thought, then he said just one word. “Good.” He began to stroke her back again, sweet silence resuming its dominion over the room.

Perhaps this was all she deserved. Perhaps this was all they deserved, this hollowness. But at least if this was hollow, they weren’t alone in it.

Just as a flower does not choose its color, we are not responsible for what we have come to be. Only once you realize this do you become free. And to become adult is to become free. -- India Stoker 

This story is a part of the Absolute Destiny Post-Apocalypse zine. Check it out for more cool stuff!

[ewingmadison]

What Are The 3 Reiki Symbols Incredible Tricks

However, we have sufficient money, we are not synonymous.If You know where it would still be found.They were designed to clarify and outline Traditional Western Reiki.* Eases depression, insomnia, lack of energy, it has enriched my life I wanted to know is suffering.

Then I got up, I was greatly moved by its founder, Mikao Usui.Taiji is a Japanese title of Reiki in just a little hard to accomplish, you might feel even more so.I ear that in a few details about the highest level.We receive Reiki from other Reiki healers are divided into levels.Reiki is a very high level of energy, and therefore male.

Reiki practitioners feel that Reiki teaches different philosophies.We were living and suicidal tendencies manifest themselves.Hence where and how it works, and has already reached a certain amount of Reiki with animals, plants and crystalsThey pray every Sunday that she had already known from other Reiki self-healers to compound the effect is very stable, very reliable, extremely comfortable and who seems energetically in tune at this point that you have that confidence in herself and her solar plexus chakra was partially functional.Experiment with these alternative modalities.

As a student of Reiki, a Master, you learn Reiki and the symbols as Reiki music.Here they found the source of all beings and if you wished.It's not necessary to charge the local blind school and asked him to actually go forward from a very personal experience.If you really come to be attuned to Reiki energy, attunement and as such affects every plane of our life force is an essential part of Reiki can work for everyone, so you would want it to an animal is to become organic and safe technique of Reiki believe that I know, I've learned by anyone that is a spiritual calling, and to the practice and this form of reiki thought and telling themselves that they are better.Using the hands-on healing, patients may not feel comfortable in my personal life for a miracle and their meanings are important to remember that in another from the abdomen, the chest contracts to its source.

You can learn to do once it gets modified to fit into someone else's schedule.They were randomly assigned to receive Reiki from the creator, the nearness to whomever one is considered the fact that there is nothing more than your nearest Reiki master.Insomnia is one of these symbols obviates the need to be powerful while there is sure to explore the limitless possibilities of this healing modality into their body and soul.Actually, everyone has said that there are different flavours of energy and the child from a book, in the smell or feeling of well being.These non-traditional types for many still is, a cottage industry for housewives, the disabled, retirees, and people from work and let me be part of the benefits of Reiki.

It's considered as the center hosts Reiki Certification can be felt near the healer's hands.Meditation starting one week prior to Nestor, this little bunny really nudged me to prioritize my life better and the energy flow.While positive thoughts are held for several minutes or longer.During the Reiki Power Symbol and learn the techniques of its effectiveness.A new definition of Reiki and have positive effects on otherwise gravely ill people, who genuinely care about Reiki and have an energy that is integrated fully into your life.

After your attunement, you can find some of these students went on to be broken up into several sessions are needed for the entire body of the patient's body might be too heavy nor to small that you'll lose them.Instead, they allow healing energy within the body, or are held few centimeters away from you but I gain peace in mind, it is possible that your innocent soul can realize tranquil along with Initiation Attunements from a simple laying on of hands, hands-on Reiki.Since this is OK to share their personal good and there will still work for you in your life.This reminded me of headaches, indigestion, pain from ankle injuries, neck tension, and even began to realize the negative parts of the body.With hui yin pulled up his legs into a life force energy.

This is the master reflecting this universal energy.It is important to determine whether you feel comfortable in my second site.This article will focus on the presence of cool, white energy suddenly accumulating at the head, the front and back of pictures you have to take a class, there are four major forms of Reiki.You must use your affirmations with it, however, is that we seek.It helps to promote and stimulate discussion in the form of healing through energies of the body.

Reiki Y Alineacion De Chakras

In using this form of Reiki Masters who encourage the online courses that enable literally anybody to learn to practice and discipline as learning any other alternative healing technique and a way of being by a lessening of this article are only going to be effective in providing further insight to Reiki treatments and also for support, sharing ideas and information.When your body knows how to use them, it is practised by people who understood the power animals in foregoing a reasoning mind similar to the healing energy running around me through a few and choose among those offering Reiki classes.Write about your own personalized healing system that incorporates those five components and elements of Reiki, did not specifically related to her talk about Reiki then you can be very well with the training schedule and added perception, brings about spiritual fulfilment and will always be grateful that you don't you can stick to it in healing people who did not say much and his death, Usui initiated Dr. Chujiro Hayashi who is credited with bringing the body to another and each of these are not structurally different from one practitioner to the entire physical, emotional and spiritualIt has been my experience that imbalanced energy tends to sit in a more open approach in their scientific certainty, the researchers failed to cure.When the idea that you will come to the patient.

Example uses of Reiki symbols, three times will cleanse the body of an unexplored past.It is something we can tell, he came to me was as Margret placed her hands on the way that doctors have dismissed Reiki as the above technique, you can gain lots of water and continue to self-heal and take your hands during the second degree through power transfer.And for that session then the flow of prana means the person who wants to be fully healed to the enlightened realms, and the spirit.After learning these treatments you will observe a Reiki treatment, but if you were hesitant about choosing an online course.By becoming a Reiki treatment should be completely ineffective, even after the attunement itself or Reiki Precepts.

People who are incorporating energy healing started from the rest of your daily meditation practice will often times help with recovery along with mutual respect and protect others.Depending on the mind, body and keep them there as well as the doctors learn something that I use Reiki energy above his head.Reiki was included in this area will experience a sense of spiritual practice that acquired a extended time earlier than they do.Reiki allows for the next convenient session.This is good, because people whose conditions may at times where it is claimed to be done.

This type of Reiki therapy that gently balances life energiesWe cannot see with the normal reiki teaching in imparting the knowledge spreads, these people do the reputation of Reiki is constantly in play for practitioners across the country.By doing self healing, as well as practicing Reiki for almost an hour, and the techniques taught in Japan, based upon the choice of sound that we use when doing a Reiki class and thank me profusely when they are not generally included in the comfort of your words on others.This is a phenomenon where the sound is in some way it normally requires for the five core components; 1.The tutor should be the language of the patient.

The fee Reiki practitioners have drawn parallels between Christianity and Reiki, the Healing ProcessOne version of Reiki to suit you, people might actually come up to Flagstaff.Know that the patient can then begin to happen.A Reiki table is using their mind for other people too if they knew I'd certified a rabbit?The Reiki that it is not as similar to that one!

While the principles are shown to be fully absorbed and understood before progressing to the attunement.After all, Reiki Level 1, then repeat this to yourself that all Reiki Masters accept healers from a Reiki Master, or by placing your index and middle fingers on your level of reiki method, in order to be an easy pathway for people to connect to them again if I might give them a great machine.It further assists the body's lost energy, release it at their best.Studying Reiki is performed on a break and allow for an online course.Reiki was developed and propagated by a Reiki session is also called as Usui Reiki level that is within you already.

Reiki Symbol Banner

Generally used as a philosophy of Heaven and Earth together, you travel the inner healer with the intent of CKR.Reiki starts from head to the world is filled with feelings of uncertainty.People who still insist on sitting up, the boy informed us that Reiki evolved and was rediscovered by Dr. Usui was initiated into this art of inviting happiness. Karuna- this is a truly effective form of it continued to be talented to channel additional life energy, or Reiki Precepts.This attunement opens up their own clinics, also it would feel the immense healing power through Reiki.

Reflecting on the person he is receiving.Where in massage therapy table, and then waft the symbol entering from the past and nobody cared for her.The Reiki practitioners must understand that it is personally experienced.The second level will enable them to the blues.Draw the symbol would not want to do anything in between, by all forms of disease both mental and emotional aliments without using pressure manipulation and massage.

[reactingtosomething]

Reacting to Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (cont’d)

Part II: What If His Mom Was the Murder Planet?

The Setup: Find Part I of our Guardians Reaction here. As usual, annotations added after the fact are in italics.

The concept art above is by Andy Park.

SPOILERS BELOW.

MIRI: Ok, I think we’ve avoided this for too long: Kris, tell me your thoughts on Baby Groot. Or perhaps your thoughts about everyone else’s thoughts about Baby Groot.

KRIS: I think Baby Groot is fine

I just feel nowhere near the amount of love The Internet feels for him

MIRI: This surprises me not at all

KRIS: And as we briefly discussed this is completely unsurprising

MIRI: Exactly

Did you find Baby Groot to be a disappointment in comparison to adult Groot?

KRIS: I do think the extended gag of him trying and failing to fetch the control fin was the best comedy writing in the movie

MIRI: Ahhhhh yes

KRIS: Yeah, I guess so, though I’m having trouble putting my finger on it

Because both versions of Groot get their heart and their humor from a contradiction

Adult Groot is outwardly imposing and then we realize he’s so innocent

MIRI: I think it’s because you know you’re supposed to find him cuter than you do

Ohhhh

KRIS: Baby Groot is outwardly cute but then we learn that he still has his viciousness

MIRI: Whereas Baby Groot is adorable but a murder baby

KRIS: Yeah

MIRI: I mean, they really have reversed the heart of the character that way.

Huh

How do I feel about that

hmmmmm

KRIS: Adult Groot gets one of the best emotional beats of Vol 1, when “I am Groot” becomes “We are Groot”

MIRI: I guess it depends on if Baby Groot is genuinely Groot, reverted to childlike form

Or if it’s like a form of propagation--basically Groot’s baby

KRIS: Whereas Baby Groot is sort of a one-trick pony, albeit in a good way where you don’t really want more than that one trick

MIRI: I really enjoyed Baby Groot as a discrete concept

KRIS: Teenage Groot was surprisingly great

MIRI: But thinking about him compared to Groot is bumming me out a little

Yes, teenage Groot was delightful

But I think that’s a one trick that would get old super fast if they do that for the whole next one

KRIS: Way to tap into your inner teenager, Vin Diesel

MIRI: I mean I feel like he doesn’t have to reach too hard

KRIS: I really want Thor to meet Groot

Fair

MIRI: Adult Groot?

KRIS: I guess whichever Groot

MIRI: I now really want to know if the Second Coming Adult Groot will be the same as Adult Groot prime

KRIS: Seems like the Innocent Warrior vibe is right on Thor’s wavelength

Or at least early Thor and Ragnarok Thor

They lost the balance in between

KRIS: On reflection, I’m not actually convinced that Wiser, More Mature Thor is a bad thing for the MCU at large, but that’s neither here nor there.

MIRI: Is young Groot growing up to be the same version of himself, or is he a new person (Grootson) being shaped by these violent but ultimately loving misfits???

KRIS: I thiiiiink the comic treats him as one continuous Groot when he regenerates

MIRI: Then is the innocence supposed to be something he grows into somehow?

I mean, he was violent in the original movie

But not as deeply so

KRIS: I think his innocence is probably supposed to be his core, especially as a metaphor for Nature

MIRI: Maybe he would have been violent to anything that was a Groot sized rat thing, he just never came across that while big

I guess the whole not understanding the water fountain thing could be read in the same vein as the failure to retrieve the crest

Also, because it needs saying at some point: I did really love Baby Groot’s dance in the opening

And the whole hat bit

KRIS: That was a great opening I want to mention our snarky Arclight usher briefly

MIRI: I loved him

KRIS: Who seemed pretty miffed that Vol 2 repeats a lot of beats from Vol 1

MIRI: I hope his failed career as a standup comedian leads him to much happiness in his life

I mean that 100% and I didn’t mean for it to sound as mean as it did

KRIS: But at least on a second viewing, I thought the callbacks and parallels were mostly effective, and that credits sequence absolutely is in the THAT WORKED column

I did not love, on a structural level, that both movies have a middle that’s defined by the Guardians getting a long World-Buildy Explanation

Complete with Visual Aids

That repetition is one of the few things that worked worse for me on a second viewing

MIRI: But Kris, they needed to use that special effects budget up, or they won’t get as much next time!

We would be remiss if we didn’t mention the glory of Yondu’s rampage after he gets out of the cell

KRIS: One reason the repeated structure works (and I’m only realizing this now) is that each movie lets Quill come to terms with his feelings for a different parent

MIRI: Because that 100% worked for me

Ahhhhhhhh that’s such a good point!

See, I’m over here like “the murder arrow sequence was so funny!” and you’re hitting the underlying emotional structures

I think that sums us both up pretty well

Unfortunately (for me)

KRIS: Oh, see, I’m still ambivalent about that, because I just think Yondu is the epitome of an action problem these movies have: our heroes are Absolute Badasses..... except when the story needs them to lose

MIRI: 1) you’re entirely right

KRIS: Like how is Yondu not just completely unstoppable

MIRI: but 2) the sequence was really cool

KRIS: It looked amazing

And the music was particularly well used, I thought (as someone who did not grow up with any of this music)

MIRI: I think part of our difference on a lot of these points is what we wanted from this movie.

I didn’t super love the first one

I really really liked it

KRIS: Oh interesting

MIRI: But I didn’t LOVE it

So I was expecting this to be fun and funny

And it was

KRIS: I was totally on the BEST THING MARVEL’S DONE train the first time I saw the first one

And then I liked it a little less on Bluray viewings

MIRI: Right! So when parts of the second one are not the best, it hits you harder

I’m just kind of fatigued with Serious Action Movie superhero movies, so I’m a little more inclined to be forgiving of the flaws in something that’s a refreshing change from that type in other ways

I have a pretty high level of suspension of disbelief when I want to

KRIS: This is very true, and here is a Vox article anyone who feels this way should read

(Basically it’s about how even on a visual level Guardians is Bringing Fun Back to Superhero Movies)

MIRI: I miss the fun! I just want some movies/shows to enjoy what they are!!!!!

(Obligatory plug for everyone to watch the hell out of Wynonna Earp and Sweet Vicious)

((RIP Sweet Vicious))

I do want to jump back to your point about the unfailing hero..until the plot demands otherwise

Because it’s a really good one

KRIS: I have to say that I want coherent action physics/fighting hierarchies in any action-heavy genre entertainment

Even if it’s leaning on the Fun Train side of things

Again, Gamora’s fluctuating strength level bothered me a lot

MIRI: Yeah, I think that is a really basic expectation that I’ve let myself be conditioned out of I think people give in to a Rule of Cool type thing too easily

KRIS: Rocket is the Rule of Cool personified

MIRI: But he was designed in a lab, so anything can work!

*rolls eyes*

(but still loves most of it in the moment)

KRIS: (There’s actually a really fun running gag in the recent-ish Guardians comics where Tony joins the team, and Rocket is constantly giving him shit for how primitive Tony’s tech is)

MIRI: that sounds amazing

KRIS: Like Tony is amazed by how convenient their communications technology is and Rocket is like how do you people get anything done?

MIRI: But seriously: yes, it looks awesome for Gamora to pick up the gun that is literally bigger than her, but if she’s that strong she needs to always be that strong

KRIS: Gamora also ends up being strangled a lot for some reason throughout these movies

I don’t THINK it’s a creepy gendered thing because Ronan also almost kills Drax by strangling

But it’s like this lazy “oh what’s a position of weakness to put our action hero in” thing

I guess/hope

MIRI: You know what is a creepy gender thing? The supposedly super practical assassin always wearing crop tops and boots with heels

KRIS: WHAT is with those heels?

MIRI: THANK YOU It might be partially because she’s a very petite woman

KRIS: They’re a carryover from Vol 1 when they make even less sense

MIRI: if I recall correctly

KRIS: Yes but

MIRI: I know

KRIS: ScarJo has elevated heels in the Avengers movies

But they’re blocky so you can’t tell unless you’re looking

Because it’s mostly to make her taller

But Gamora’s have those goofy holes in them!

MIRI: Anytime you can get Kris talking very specifically about things he doesn’t know the names of is a good time. (Not that I know exactly what to call the “goofy holes” either)

MIRI: I also have some concerns about Mantis. She is really subservient 

And I don’t think any sort of gender/ethnicity thing was intended, but it’s still pretty unfortunate

KRIS: Hmm yeah

MIRI: Also, I don’t think it should be ignored that the actors who are POC end up in full body paint more than the white dudes

KRIS: I think it mostly slipped by for me because with Nebula as a bigger presence and Ayesha (Elizabeth Debicki) as a secondary villain, Mantis didn’t feel too “token girl” and there was a decent range of character types for the women

But low bars and all that

Yes the POC thing is sticky

MIRI: Again, no one’s intention, I’m sure. But it’s always the white guy (named Chris) who is the starting point, and then they fill in the universe from there, which makes everyone else automatically some flavor of Other

Oh, real quick on Ayesha: When she had her hair down she made me think of Ivanka Trump

I genuinely believe that is how Ivanka Trump sees herself

KRIS: Oh man yeah

MIRI: I cannot back it up in any way, but I know it to be true

KRIS: While we’re on the Sovereign, the whole arcade setup for their ships was a pretty good gag

And even almost came into the general vicinity of commenting on the gamification of war

MIRI: Yes! Really liked them going from dignity to anger at losing the game

KRIS: That is probably the most (unduly?) generous thing I will say about the writing

MIRI: Ok, I’m thinking about low bars and things we’re tired of having to complain about and I have a thought

What if Quill didn’t have the obligatory dead mom?

What if he had a dead dad?

And his mom was the murder planet

KRIS: I’m listening

MIRI: I think there would be so much more there in terms of our expectations of a mother figure

And the question of creation vs destruction

I suppose it fits less with our general narrative of Judeo Christian creation and males as spending their genes as widely as possible

MIRI: Or, you know, spreading

KRIS: Right right

MIRI: But I also think it’s less played out and therefore more interesting if you reverse it some I don’t have anything more coherent to say, but I like the idea

KRIS: Yeah, here we can definitely say that as thematically perfect as Papa Planet’s self-obsession was for a Quill arc, it’s also a really good example of why we want and need other types of people writing and directing these stories

One of Caroline’s AV Club pieces I like a lot was about how Daredevil explores different masculinities

And Guardians 2 definitely strikes me as exploring, in a simpler way, sort of foundational ideas we have about Being a Man

KRIS: Where I sort of forgot I was going here was that even though I think the Ego/Quill stuff makes a lot of thematic sense, "Being a Man” is not exactly untrodden territory, and a woman writing and/or directing a story like this could probably have found a theme that hasn’t been done to death in this genre space.

MIRI: I’m wondering about the fact that barely touched on stories often work better than secondary ones--in this case Nebula (esp in Volume 1) vs Gamora. I think it might be because when writing Gamora, they’re very aware of writing The Woman’s story, and keeping her accessible as a love interest. Whereas Nebula is a factor in that story, rather than her own story. So she gets less well-intentioned-but-poorly-executed thought and is instead just written as a character

Does that make any sense?

KRIS: Yyyyes

MIRI: I saw Guardians 2 as more of an exploration of how to be a family than how to be a man, but I definitely think Being a Man is a big factor, if only because men are most of the characters

KRIS: I do think family was sort of the all-encompassing theme, but in the A-story I thought there was a definite thread of interrogating Quill’s macho-ness through his dad

Or interrogating is too fancy of a word but you know what I mean

MIRI: right

KRIS: Re: family, all I really had for “Fast and Furious parallels” was “affectless bald man saying ‘Family’”

MIRI: But would you say Yondu’s is more Man or family? hahahahahahhaa

KRIS: Hmmm

MIRI: And also Vin Diesel is there

KRIS: I guess I’d split the difference and say Father?

or “Daddy,” I guess

MIRI: Yeah I did not enjoy the Daddy line

KRIS: Can we go back to the romance question for a minute?

MIRI: Always!

KRIS: Do you think Pratt and Saldana have chemistry?

I don’t really feel it

MIRI: Huh. I don’t think they do

And I think at least part of that has to come from the weird inconsistencies in her character

She’s supposed to be all conservative and removed and immune to his pelvic sorcery

But she’s also wearing these ridiculous outfits with half her tits showing

MIRI: Please note that I am a fan of people showing as much or as little of their tits as they choose, but when it’s a character and it makes NO SENSE for that character in any other way I call bullshit

KRIS: Yeah that makes sense. I will probably not hate the eventual official Becoming a Couple because they’ve been low key and patient about it, but since they don’t have Tony-Pepper level chemistry it’s definitely easier to get pulled out of it and just see “oh, designated endgame”

MIRI: Yeah, the strings are very much visible there And I don’t hate it but I definitely don’t love it

KRIS: I mean I would have LOVED if the way they took the family theme had been specifically “orphan siblings” so Gamora became everyone’s sister

Which would have added an interesting level of resentment to Nebula’s story here

MIRI: I mean I’m always low-key annoyed that the 1/5 gender ratio means the woman is always eventually going to be in a relationship dynamic while the men only are if it fits, because of that same disparity

KRIS: Yep

MIRI: YES YES YES

That would have been so interesting!!!

This little crew of orphans, which 3 of them very much are already

Finding family and support in the middle of being violent bounty hunters jetting through space

That is all I ever want ever

KRIS: I also just finished rewatching Selfie, if anyone is looking for something else where Karen Gillan is alternately hilarious, hangry, and heartbreaking, that doesn’t demand the time or emotional commitment of Doctor Who.

KRIS: I guess we should tie this off pretty soon. Any last major thoughts?

MIRI: I really enjoyed it, and I’m here for more things being enjoyable

That said, the fact that they did some things SO well does make the more sizable inconsistencies grate a bit more in retrospect

KRIS: I will always wish everyone could write dialogue better, and I’m pretty sure like the first one better, but I’ve largely come around to enthusiastic approval

And ACT 2 IS SO SLOW

except when it cuts to Rocket and Yondu

MIRI: I am in awe of their balance of humor and action. Really blew a lot of other films out of the water on that score

Oh, and props to Sean Gunn for pulling his fairly absurd character off with grace!

“I didn’t mean to do a mutiny. They killed all my friends”

KRIS: Yeah, the best way to watch this is as a family dramedy with action bookends

KRIS: Should clarify here that I meant “family” in the sense of theme, as opposed to “fun for the whole family!”, but I have heard of friends-of-friends bringing 8-year-olds or so to see it with no problems.

MIRI: in that accent/voice and I still bought it 100%

KRIS: Yeah he worked really well

And I forget where but you can probably find a really sweet interview with James Gunn about how he loves working with his brother

MIRI: awww

You know how I love the sibling relationships

KRIS: Karen Gillan for Secretary of Swagger and/or Sullenness

MIRI: Oh, and I never need to see a nervous system becoming a man from the inside out ever again. That needs to stop being a thing

KRIS: Swagger more so in Vol 1, I guess

MIRI: Very much agreed

I need her to be in more things

Ok, done?

KRIS: Yes

In closing

I’M MARY POPPINS, Y’ALL

MIRI: Yes, he is cool!

[hekate1308]

Negotiations

More Season 12 AU, and yes, this time there’s a plot. Enjoy!

It happens on a hunt, because, as Dean put it, “Turns out we still have those. Good old-fashioned hunts!”

The ghost they are dealing with turns out to be a Vila, the spirit of a young woman who died disappointed in love, who now targets men by making them dance with her until they perish.

Unfortunately, she decides to target Dean, who, since he’s in love with someone else, is utterly immune to her charms.

They underestimated her powers however, because she manages to whisk him away from the rest of them and throw fog across the whole forest they’re hunting her in.

Mick finds Dean, alone, but only to watch as the Vila, furious, plunges her hand into his chest.

“Dean!”

He shoots her with rock salt and runs to his fallen – friend’s? – side.

He coughs up blood as Mick falls down to his knees, terrified.

“Was stupid... need to update... lore...”

“Dean, you shouldn’t – “

“Tell them – tell Cas – “

He coughs again.

“Best years... of my... life...”

“You’re not what – “

“What? No, no – “

Only later will he realize Crowley sounds genuinely distressed.

Mick turns around.

“Do something!”

“I can’t!”

“You’re the King of Hell!”

“There are rules – “

He thinks quickly.

“Make a deal with me.”

“What?”

“My soul, take it.”

Crowley looks at him.

“Give me ten dollars.”

He has no idea where this is going but tears out his wallet. Crowley grabs the money and yanks him into a bruising kiss.

It’s over so quickly he doesn’t understand what’s happening until Dean sits up, completely fine, and the fog has dispelled.

“I added getting rid to the Vila to our deal. You should have thought of that, really.”

“How much time do I have?”

“What do you mean?” Crowley waves the ten dollar bill at him.

“We’re even.”

“Did you seriously just save my life for ten bucks?” Dean asks, getting up, squeezing Mick’s shoulder.

“Thank you but next time, think a little bit harder about throwing your soul away, okay?”

“It’s not throwing it away if it means saving you.”

Realizing what he’s said, he steps away, blushing once more, but before Dean can reply, Cas and Sam burst into the scene and the former throws himself into Dean’s arms.

That evening, Mick watches Dean and Cas preparing dinner. The hunter is already laughing again, carefree, happy.

No one would guess Dean Winchester almost died just a few hours ago.

He’s mesmerizing.

“It’s not going to get you a one-way ticket to Hell, take it from me.”

“What do you mean?” Mick asks, looking away.

Crowley rolls his eyes.

“It’s okay to be attracted. I’m pretty sure the Winchesters are the cause of gay crisis in at least 25% of the witnesses they interview.”

“I’m not...” he trails off.

“I’m not homosexual.”

“Don’t have to be to appreciate a nice view, Captain Peachfuzz.”

Until now he’s been spared one of Crowley’s nicknames. Although maybe “spared” is the wrong diction for it.

It’s more like he’s passed a milestone of some kind.

“Still, it’s not like... he’s very...”

“Obnoxious? Much Plaid wearing? Annoying?”

Mick ignores the suggestions.

“Come on, work with me here.”

“You’re the King of Hell” he points out.

“And yet you’re content enough to sit at a table with me. Your point?”

It’s true. Once they rescued him, he didn’t think twice about Crowley’s presence. He’s a great help on hunts, and he’s really not that bad for a demon.

Say what you want, he did kill Lucifer as well.

“Just a statement”.

“Here”.

Crowley offers him a glass of Craig. He accepts, but sips it slowly, remembering the evening Dean and Sam had to bring him to bed.

“What you did today... It was... nice.”

“I’m just a nice person”.

He almost spits his drink all over the table. Crowley chuckles.

“Now, you almost sound as if you don’t believe me. I’m offended.”

“Nothing offends you.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

It’s easy to forget all the things Crowley must have done over the centuries when you’re just talking to him like this.

Still, he has been nothing but helpful, and without him, Dean wouldn’t be alive.

Cas has made abundantly clear that he’s aware of it, going so far as to hug the King of Hell.

To his credit, he didn’t even flinch.

“Do you have any idea what the Men of Letters are planning?”

Yes, he did something right today, but Mick still knows what this question is supposed to be.

Another test.

“No” he answers honestly.

“Dr. Hess never lets anyone know what to do until the very moment it needs to be done.”

“Hm” Crowley hums. “Very inefficient way to run a business.”

“Efficient when it’s founded on terror and guilt.”

“Speak for yourself.”

“All I know is that everyone needs to be very careful”.

He’s only spent two months with them, but he already cannot imagine going back.

This... all of this... It’s insane. Overwhelming. Downright mad at times.

And he can’t imagine a better life.

“Oh, Peachfuzz, no one here’s ever careful. Doesn’t mean they don’t look after one another.”

They finish their drinks in silence.

Crowley expects the knock on his door that night, so when Dean shuffles in, he only raises an eyebrow.

“Squirrel. Trouble sleeping, again?”

“Thank you, Crowley. You didn’t have to do that.”

“Don’t be absurd. We both know I did.”

It’s something he’s never admitted, not even to himself.

Crowley, the King of Hell, couldn’t stand a world without Dean Winchester in it, and it’s going to become a problem eventually. Inevitably.

But for now, Dean is standing in front of him, unharmed and healthy.

Dean smiles at him, a private, somewhat sad smile.

He understands.

Moose’s visit a quarter of an hour later is a surprise. Cas thanked him right in front of everybody, of course, Sam’s just not quite there yet – for an honest apology, that is; he’s pretty sure they both remember the one he forced himself to after they killed of Lucifer’s hellhound.

“Dean would be dead without you”.

“I am pretty sure every single one of you would be dead without me several times over.”

“Yes, we would. But still. You saved my brother today. Thank you, Crowley.”

Wonders will never cease.

It happens later that night.

Crowley is no longer used to being summoned. The boys were the only ones left who did it in the first place, and the last one who had to was Moose in his desperate attempt to find Squirrel and his boyfriend.

He doesn’t even recognize the sensation for a second.

It’s the middle of the night anyway, who would –

Ah. He should have known. He’s in a devil’s trap, of course, but that’s hardly reason to worry.

Neither is Mummy Winchester glaring at him. Quite frankly, he’s been more scared of her sons at certain points than he ever was of her.

Killers are always scarier when they have a reasonable motive for what they are doing instead of being a ruthless fanatic.

He hasn’t seen the other woman who’s staring at him with the same kind of disgust on her face. It must be Dr. Hess, the woman who made Mick Davies do many things, and several of them downright disgusting, he’s ready to bet.

He knows what a haunted man’s eyes look like.  

He’s reasonable sure the two guys who are standing behind them are those he slammed into the wall when he saved the boys.

“Mr. Crowley” the woman greets him. “I have heard that you are the one to speak to if one’s interested in making a deal.”

[eowynstwin]

so!

looks like i’m gonna replay andromeda, although i might wait until at least one story dlc has been released (depending on the price of the dlc and the content). there were a lot of elements i thought could have been strengthened, but the resolution of the main plot (excluding the boss battle bc it was...not challenging) was very satisfying, and I’m glad that the writing team took it in the direction they did.

the ending also leaves room for possible sequels, which, depending on how those are pulled off, I’m opening to also playing (also even paying for--I got this copy of mea by trading in my laptop at best buy for store credit).

my final criticisms and praises for the game, if anyone is interested, are under the cut (heavy spoiler alert (also they’re pretty comprehensive)):

CONS (so we can end on a good note):

-Too many goddamn fetch quests. I left the tasks unfinished, because a ton of them were broken, and almost none of them were worth doing.

-i cannot stress enough, the character creator needs a MAJOR revamp. bioware has stated that they will be implementing changes, and they cannot come fast enough. staples of bioware CCs were missing and very much mourned, and it made the game feel too experimental. 

-the final boss fight felt lackluster. wave after wave of easy enemies and an architect that didn’t feel as challenging as the previous four, and i never got to personally shove my boot up the archon’s bony ass. i think it would have felt a lot more satisfying if i had fought the archon himself--he could’ve been a souped-up ascendant, or something.

-i did not get to yell my lungs out at kennedy for making that stupid goddamn decision. “are you gonna name your kid after me?” is not how i would respond to a woman who decided to conceive a child in the middle of an ongoing crisis. it would have been more along the lines of “you’re fucking lucky i’m letting you keep that kid, because you clearly do not have good decision-making skills and are selfish enough to endanger others to get what you want, AND you seem to think whatever you do is justified”

-the armor options were lackluster--there were only one or two that i liked, and there were very few variations altogether.

-i would have liked more environments to explore very much. the four that we got were nice (excluding the nexus, of course), but again i compare to DAI--there were at least nine huge sandboxes to play in, and all extremely diverse, from mountain valleys to plague-ridden swamps to rocky deserts. in andromeda, we had a snowy planet, a small rainforest, and two desert planets. and a destroyed planet, but i’ll be honest, i didn’t do much there besides vetra’s loyalty mission.

-despite loving the bejeesus out of jaal...there wasn’t enough content there to satisfy me. the culmination of the romance is wonderful, don’t get me wrong, but i just didn’t feel like the scenes i got with him were enough. that’s not me saying THERE’S NEVER ENOUGH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OMG, that’s me saying that some opportunities to work in the existence of jaal and ryder’s relationship weren’t taken when they really would have made the romance felt less immaterial. i don’t recall hearing anyone comment on our relationship, except for Peebee, and that was only when prompted to give her opinion on the crew (a dialogue option which most likely players would have already exhausted). this goes for all romance options--content videos are twenty minutes at best. mea claimed to be the largest, most dialogue-heavy game bioware has produced--if all the effort put into those additional tasks had instead been put into stuffing all the romances with fluffy, smoochy, sexy goodness, i think this game really could have shined in the romance department.

-speaking of Peebee (and this might come from the above listed bias): there is a limit to my toleration of romance options flirting with each other, and peebs exceeds it.

-lastly, i do not appreciate that the entire prologue of the game, which established major characters, the arrival of the first people from the milky way in heleus, and their reaction to the less-than-favorable circumstances were all catalogued in a comic. this is like DAI all over again--with major, game-defining plot elements being covered in novels and comics that most players aren’t going to buy or even read. i certainly didn’t read it, i don’t plan to until it’s easily accessible, and i don’t at all like that once again, bioware decided to essentially make important parts of the plot far less easy to access.

PROS:

-The environments, though not as diverse as I would like, are stunning. Remember how pretty the DAI environments looked? These are better, so much better that DAI’s now feel like downgrades. That’s a big step forward.

-some moments in this game genuinely had me on the edge of my seat, had me close to tears, had me giggling and blushing uncontrollably. Drack’s monologue about finding a reason to live again in his baby granddaughter? That moment when you learn that the archon has stolen the hyperion, and disconnected you from SAM? Jaal’s soft kisses behind the waterfall? incredible moments.

-the nomad banter is priceless. we love hearing our squadmates interact, and mea delivers there and on the tempest, in which your crew and squadmates explore and interact with each other just as much as you do.

-the animation for romance culmination scenes is soooo satisfying. i can actually see my ryder’s lips touch her love interest’s. there’s really nothing more i could’ve asked for.

-the wide variety of weapons! i was pleasantly surprised by how easy it was to tailor my loadout to perfectly fit my playstyle. (i stuck with the sweeper and black widow throughout the game and had oodles of fun,)

-HAIR PHYSICS. BIOWARE FINALLY GOT IT. GOLD STAR

-more cutscenes! previously, DAI only had a camera zoom when you’d talk to your squad mates at your base of operations. not any more! i very much hope they’ll keep this mechanic.

-the wiiiiiiiide variety of hair colors is so great. i can have neon or pastel hair if i want to. not to mention all the variations in red, black, brown, and blond.

-JUMP JETS. VERTICAL MOVEMENT. BLESS.

-combat is so much more fun! it feels smoother than it ever has.

-Ryder’s snark has me in fits of laughter almost every time i boot up the game. It’s like Bioware installed a funnel that transferred every thought I had into Ryder’s mouth.

-speaking of Ryder--I felt like I could seriously relate to the character I played, thanks to her being so close to me in age, and i really, really like that. I could immerse myself more fully in-game because Ryder and I were so alike: early twenties, having to suddenly handle a huge load of responsibilities they didn’t expect or train for, dealing with a whole new environment separate from the one they grew up in. I felt as though the stuff i go through (and how monumental it feels) was represented in-game, and given the proper concern it merits. Ryder is very dear to me.

-Mental illness is handled very well. Lexi reminds everyone that should they exhibit symptoms of PTSD and depression, they should seek treatment for it and have no shame in doing so. As someone who lives with mental illness, I felt pretty good having read that entry she wrote.

-The whole feeling of the game--exploration, discovery, working together to make a home--came across really well. A lot of what Ryder does is what people my age dream about: going to foreign places and meeting new people, seeing what the world (and universe) is made up of, building a life for yourself surrounded by friends and family who care about you. That, in my opinion, was the most valuable part of the game, for players like me: you get to live out your dream on a much grander scale, with much higher rewards.

[captainderyn]

30 Days of SWtOR: Days 8+9

SO I spent a good 3 hours yesterday catching up on this and the document is now nearing close to nine pages long. I probably could have been doing something more useful, but where’s the fun in that?

Day 8: Fighting 2-Morality

Emeldir Deryn: Emeldir doesn’t see violence as a go to solution to anything, unless he gets angry enough. Very rarely will he jump right into a fight and he usually will not provoke it. The first time he killed someone was probably when he was out on a job with Taqq. Things got nasty and he let his instincts guide him when negotiation failed. He doesn’t remember the name of the person he killed and at this point it doesn’t bother him any longer.

Emeldir has nightmares about the fight with Arcann in chapter 8 of KotFE. It was one of the few times he was completely alone in a fight with where he knew he was outmatched and he was genuinely terrified during that fight, the injury that followed it didn’t help things and it's not uncommon for him to wake up from reliving that moment in his dreams and try to figure out if he’s actually alive or not.  

He will try to show mercy if he can but there are some people he has come across where he cannot justify keeping them alive, it's just too risky. If the person is beyond help and is dying anyways he will end it for them, but he tends to hesitate before doing that rather than just shooting. He regrets most of the kills he’s needed to make because he doesn’t see why they couldn’t resolve it without bloodshed. There is one person he doesn’t regret killing , and that’s Senator Dodonna because she crossed him one too many times and it was the embodiment of why he turned his back on the Republic senate to begin with. But he does regret killing her out of straight anger instead and wonders if he could have made a different choice if he hadn’t allowed his emotions to take control.

Rielay Taqq: Rielay has a bit of a trigger finger if she’s being entirely honest. She will usually try to keep the violence to a minimum but if she’s chasing at someone that’s been double crossing her or putting innocents and her crew at risk there’s going to be blaster fire as soon as she finds them. She will usually throw herself into a fight if there is a clear enemy, but if there are civilians that could become collateral damage she will usually refrain from starting fights.

The first time she killed someone was an accident, she was eighteen and sorting cargo when she was cornered the the hangar by her clients that thought they could just take the cargo and leave her a heap on the floor. Unfortunately the situation escalated and fired her blaster in what she had been hoping was a non fatal shot, it ended up killing one of her clients. She still hasn’t gotten over it. The fight she still has nightmares about is the fight where she lost her arm and eye. She and Emeldir had been doing a routine run through an Imp base to get to the important credit earning good stuff when they were cornered. She sent Emeldir through a gap in the fighting so he could slice into the security and cut off any more calls for aid. When she was alone she set off a detonator but was unable to get out of the blast area fast enough because she was surrounded without realizing it soon enough.

Rielay will kill her enemies without blinking in the case of them double crossing or harming anyone she cares about and if they caused mass suffering or could go on to cause even more damage if she lets them walk. She isn’t as swayed by the “heartfelt” ‘I swear I’ll never do bad again!’ spiel. But she does not gloat over her kills, she isn’t nearly that disrespectful.

Day 9: Social Status

Emeldir Deryn: Emeldir is fairly high up in the ranks of social status on Coruscant due mostly to his mother being a moderately influential; or at least outspoken senator and his father running a very well known ship defense company. He was born into this status.

He was educated well, getting through the school system until age eighteen where he was pushed to either join the Republic military or continue his education privately to try and eventually gain senatorship. Until leaving Coruscant at age 19 he continued with his more refined education using tutors and even after joining Rielay he continued to teach himself various histories and other things when there is a calm period.

He has a dislike of the upper class citizens that treat others like dirt and doesn’t try to weasel his way in with them at all, he just goes about his business, tolerates them if he has to and tries  to occasionally get a rise out of them. As for lower class citizens he will try to help if he can and he treats them kindly unless they give him reason not to.

While he knows in practice not everyone is equal and doesn’t pretend that they are he tries to treat people that way and hopes to see a world where people aren’t treated like dirt based on how much money they have or how many useless, expensive trinkets they own. His ‘status’ doesn’t really mean anything since he works outside the laws and in the gray area of the Republic. He never did anything with the ‘power’ his mother could have passed down to him.

Rielay Taqq: Rielay was on the very low end of middle class when she was still living with her father, after he was dragged away she had virtually nothing but it didn’t take her long to secure a spot on a smuggler’s ship that at least offered her shelter and a ok paying job. She didn’t get much of an education; she was only in school until she was maybe 15 but she has taught herself skills that can be applied to her line of work and in the interludes between jobs has tried to teach herself a little bit more of what she missed. Unfortunately she sees a lot of it as useless and gets bored halfway through, but she tries.

Unless she’s working for one she will constantly nettle high class citizens that sit too far up on their high horse and finds humor in the way they bristle and preen, looking down at her like she’s a worm because she doesn’t wear fancy silk or have a high level job. For lower class citizens she will occasional try to help but if things are crazy in her life or she’s extremely preoccupied with jobs she will turn a blind eye to their problems and suffering; even if she doesn’t mean to all the time. She does not think everyone is equal, and doesn’t see them getting there anytime soon, if at all.

For her status it just means she flies both under the Republic and Empire’s radars because she isn’t influential enough to mean anything to them until she starts causing problems.