#genuinely i think idk it was just such a big culture shock i guess u could say from 1 and 2 that it was hard to digest on its own for me

[bylertruther]

i don't like season three when viewing it as a continuation of seasons one and two, but i do very much like season three when viewing it as the prequel to seasons four and five... hmmmmm.

[class1akids]

U might be getting this a lot idk but what is your opinion on mitsuki and bakugo's family life (like if he's been through domestic abuse and such)

Hmm, it’s one of those really tricky questions, because (1) we have seen Mitsuki only in one situation (which was very high-stress), (2) the definition of child abuse is very culture-dependent - in some places any physical or verbal attack would be immediately considered abuse, in many others, “physical punishment”, like light smacking is separate from child abuse, where some kind of injury is the threshold, (3) it’s not sure how much of the scene was supposed to be Hori’s slapstick comedy, like much of the scenes of physical retribution against Mineta, or when Bakugou stabs Deku in the head with his collar. 

So different readings can be made of the same scene. I can give you mine as for now (caveat: in my wider family there were many people with anger issues and aggressive communication, so my personal threshold for these things is quite high):

I can whole-heartedly agree with All Might, that the Bakugou family-home is at least highly dysfunctional, and Mitsuki’s parental style was definitely a big contributor to Katsuki’s own issues with not being able to read and process his own emotions appropriately - everything being translated into anger.

The first picture we see is Mitsuki lightly whacking Katsuki - it’s not meant to hurt, more a pre-emptive strike to keep him in check. I think she means it in a funny way, but clearly she’s inconsiderate of Katsuki’s feelings who probably feels humiliated. (Also, she’s not the only person using whacks - it’s used in a various parts of the manga to get people out of their own headspace - e.g. Mirio does it to Deku, so does All Might).  

Katsuki reacts with (understandable) anger - and to me the dynamic is not so much one of oppression and fear, but an ingrained dysfunction of communication, where Bakugou to cover up his embarrassment in front of the two teachers who at this point are the most respected adults in his life calls his mother rude names and physically threatens her, though I’m fairly certain it’s an empty threat and he wouldn’t actually raise a finger to her. While Mitsuki to cover up how rattled she is, is attacking Katsuki and blaming him for his own kidnapping (this is btw the scanlation, not the official VIZ-translation, which always uses much stronger language). This kind of victim-blaming and gaslighting is very harmful for the self-esteem of children, and obviously even worse in the state Katsuki is post-Kamino. 

Masaru’s intervention is very weak and ineffectual, his peacemaking efforts are rejected by Katsuki. But it is more about the appearances than the root-cause of the problem. In any case, it reinforces that the entire Bakugou family is aware that their behaviour is very much inappropriate, but they just can’t help themselves, because this style of communication is just so deeply ingrained.    

Now with this exchange out of the way, let’s focus on the second part that is much less referenced. 

Mitsuki first tries to brush off Aizawa’s question with a joke, but then she lets a rare moment of sincerity. 

And it turns out that she sees Katsuki’s problems quite clearly - that the too much empty praise all focused on his power (she seems to be a part of this) affected his personality and behaviour. (If I had to guess, but this is pure speculation on my part, Katsuki’s parents were early on also very much focused on his exceptional quirk, being proud of his talent and potential, and it took them a while to realize how it started to push Katsuki in a bad direction. And by the time they caught on that there was a problem, it was very difficult to reel in Katsuki’s willful personality, which could have lead to the spiralling of aggressive language and smackdowns in the family. They simply didn’t know what to do with him.)

And to their credit, Mitsuki and Masaru do realize that UA is a better influence for Katsuki than they themselves are, and she is clearly touched by Aizawa’s public support for Katsuki, so I think despite all the dysfunction, the aggressive and belittling language, they do truly love Katsuki and want to do what’s best for him. Also, Mitsuki understands that there is another layer to Katsuki underneath the insolent, self-centered brat, but she is unable to connect with that person, because honest, positive communication is basically non-existent in the family. 

And when she’s not trying to cover up her emotions, she’s actually able to express that she was worried about her son in a quite affectionate way (Katsuki’s face tells me in that panel that it’s the first time he hears that), and also has an acute assessment of the situation the school is in. Finally, the fact that she is asking them not to go easy on Katsuki, kind of shows that she knows that he badly needs a different type of influence than what he got at home and in his lower grades in school. 

The Bakugou household situation gets referenced two more times. Once during the remedial arc, where Bakugou advocates for a violent smackdown of the brats, saying that’s how he was raised. I think considering that they are dealing with a bunch of kids with their teachers watching, Bakugou is not advocating for serious violence, but more like a “show them who is top dog”. But he backs down at Todoroki’s request, because he knows violence in his experience is a whole different level, but perhaps also admitting that whether it’s low-level smacks or the Todoroki-household level of violence, it doesn’t lead to winning anyone’s heart and if anything will rile up the kids more. 

The other example is when Bakugou reacts to the shitstorm that goes down at the Todoroki dinner, which basically implies that he finds it less shocking that there are problems in itself and more just a question of politeness of keeping it under wraps (which was Masaru’s attitude during the teacher-visit).

TL;DR:

So in conclusion, I do believe that Bakugou’s household is very dysfuntional, especially how they seem to have elevated verbal and light physical aggression to everyday communication, which probably heavily contributed to Bakugou’s anger issues, low self-esteem, emotional constipation and his lack of communication skills. He was probably not an easy child to start with (precocious, confident, self-centered, extremely talented, wildly competitive children are hard to parent well), and clearly Mitsuki and Masaru were not up for the task. 

But I also think that they genuinely love him and want what’s best for him. 

[kae-karo]

Okay but can you do an analysis of the heart throb video?? bc WE all need that

oh hello dear u bet ur ass i can i mean jfc how could i not what is this nonsense i’m shooketh to my core

thank u dearest anons for expressing literally all the moods on this one lmao let’s go

throbbers dan u are well aware what that sounds like

see the cute thing is i think they went into the vid with the intent of it being like lmao fun cute wholesome which is sweet but like this is dapg they should know better

‘phil’s got his guns out’ nobody asked dan???? i mean we love em just as much as u tho

any time dan says ‘this is gonna be a whole thing’ u know it gon b gay

we stan air quotes around ‘for girls’

‘a whole big box of yikes right here’ did u mean: dnpgames

dan always looks immensely soft in that jumper??

hi excuse me where’s phil’s heartthrob card bc like damn

sned hlep

dan adds ‘apparently’ to stuff when he’s like actually genuinely unsure/uncomfy/feeling awkward this has been a psa

‘choose your favorite on looks alone’ i mean same phil

“‘fast food freak’ that person might have my heart” / “i’m a fast food freak” i mean honestly ‘you and dan are so married’/’it’s a useful thing’ is quaking, i would bang voldemort whomst? idk her

phil absolutely roasting dan, fast food freak and has to be the center of attention i mean we been knew but phil out here exposing him

they both like,,,,,,,enjoy looking at buff lads but wouldn’t actually be like Genuinely into them ofc bc they’re both fuckin noodles and they love each other

‘toot toot hello’ dan,,,,,stop

look boys i know y’all only have eyes for each other but like u don’t have to come up with stories/reasons why every single guy is actually creepy or terrifying

hi i now demand dan posing as bobby and phil posing as richard, complete with the tank top for dan and the glasses/sweater combo for phil

it’s always about the kinks isn’t it

the fuckin yodeling pickle why why is that a reference

dan’s idea of school dancing being grinding and phil’s just straight up like

dan’s ‘oh phil’ catch me fucking sobbing why is he so soft for his man

dan having like a paragraph-long explanation for why he thinks phil chose the person he chose, where phil’s just like ‘lmao p sure u picked this one eh’

OH MY GOD NO EXCUSE ME PHIL U MADE THIS DECISION BC U THINK DAN’S A THIRSTY HOE WHO WOULD FULLY JUDGE ON LOOKS AND PICK THE SEXIEST-LOOKING PERSON

‘the night leads somewhere a nice pg peck on the cheek’ mhm yeah okay lads we all know what ur idea of ‘a night together’ ends with so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

someone save me why do they have to look This Good

granny is not a reference i wanted or needed thanks bye

i love that they both thought it was cute that richard was a tuba player

and then ofc they went the whole ‘it’s sexual’ route what is wrong with them guys guys guys ik this might come as a shock but not everything is sexual okay

(hi dear anon! basically there’s a whole stigma abt band camp being like where all the teens hook up n stuff just a weird culture thing)

dan sees phil in richard and that’s why he keeps trying to defend all the cute lil awkward things and u cannot convince me otherwise

like if they did another round with ‘who would u like want to marry’ dan would pick richard them’s just the facts

phil’s ‘i’m not messing around/lying/fucking with u (but i actually am lmao)’ face

dan guessing all of phil’s right is a mood i mean that boy has to keep up his phil trash status

dan’s doing that ‘top or bottom, phil’ face to the camera bc it says girlfriend and he’s trying to Make A Point by staring

stop they’re so cute look i can’t

‘that is a game changer’ dan had richard pegged as his endgame but now he’s got a Project to work on with bobby, u bet ur ass he didn’t go into his current relationship feeling like Super Confident and maybe felt like phil looked at him as a project or someone to fix n he never experienced that n so is that his way of projecting or smth idk but i think it’s Very Interesting

‘he’s just a lil jaffa cake’ phil ily but ur metaphors man ur metaphors need some work

twins

the final piece of the richard puzzle: “bumps into walls and trips over his own feet” dan: *internal screaming* oh my god it’s phil

this literally became ‘who do u want, the rich boy with a soft, sensitive side, the awkward but endearing nerd, or the unsettlingly strange guy who’s called ‘the lemon’’ and idk how i feel abt it

i do love that phil knew dan was moved by the ‘never been kissed’ thing

and then dan had to go on a full minute-long explanation for his actual reasoning bc nothing is ever simple with him and i love him but he a complex boye and everything he does he either puts a massive amt of thought into or literally none at all he has no concept of moderation

phil straight up attacking dan ‘u like fancy things boy u ain’t slick i know u’

also phil relating furries to nudism as if they’re at all related i mean same dan same

(his actual reasoning was dan doesn’t like wearing clothes around the flat and that’s the tea)

‘u like his look’ ‘no i mean okay yes but that’s not the point okay’

i also feel like dan’s looking at this from the perspective of,,,,,an adult pretending to be a teen and applying what he knows now as an adult and like his life growth to his decisions even though he’s pretending he’s a teen,,,,,

also boi u literally got with ur husband at eighteen don’t pretend that meant u were an adult u were still So Young

bless phil for sounding offended at the idea of dan wanting to date someone as a project

hi dan ur fond is showing

‘you are not editing that out’ yes drag ur husband on camera i’m here for it

this felt important

bless them both for discussing the lack of diversity in the game & calling out the gender role issues, it’s always good to hear that

i’m sorry it’s ‘almost as sexual’ lads did y’all even watch the gwf vid???? i’m hard-pressed to come up with a more blatantly sexual vid y’all have ever made (and i don’t mean like higher on the fuck energy scale that’s another story i just mean like full of intentional innuendos) 

honestly sometimes they Do Things and i’m like lmao they think they’re self aware they ain’t tho they know Nothing but like. sometimes

[macdvnald]

[ CHRISTIAN SERRATOS ] • [ SHE/HER ] | is that [ MARY MACDONALD ] , the [ NINETEEN ] year/s old [ GRYFFINDOR ] alumnus , walking down diagon alley ? I heard that the last time they had their fortune read, they drew the [ HIEROPHANT REVERSED ] , which seems [ UNLUCKY ] . hopefully they won’t come to any harm, considering their recent choice to ally themselves with [ THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX ] . they’ll probably be fine - I know they’re [ PERSISTENT ] , though apparently they can also be [ RUTHLESS ] . what’s the worst that could happen ? | 

LINKS: stats, pinboard, playlist PARALLELS: johanna mason ( the hunger games ), jessica jones ( jessica jones ), raven reyes ( the 100 ), ellie ( the last of us ), rosa diaz ( brooklyn 99 ), nancy wheeler ( stranger things ), kat edison ( the bold type ), sarah manning ( orphan black ) HELLO and welcome to the mess that is this intro!! on the bottom are some plot ideas & besides that its a big old mess! but we love disorganisation! hit this up with a like if u want me to hit u up for plots and i sure as hell will <333

history

mary had a little lamb? WRONG. mary had a little calf. because she was born on a dairy farm in the highlands of scotland ( laugh at my joke pls i worked hard on it ). she was born third to two muggles – a scottish father and a mexican mother, who loved each other deeply – and would eventually become their middle child. she could have become overlooked, but mary never felt discounted at home: while her parents were very often busy with the cows, their love ran deep.

her youth consisted of this: running through fields of grass, attending a muggle elementary where people sang songs at her ( old macdonald had a farm and mary had a little lamb ), playing with the animals, building tree houses with her brothers and sister and playing football every spare moment she got. it was good and simple and wholesome.

of course, strange things happened, as they tend to with muggleborns: she’d explode her brother’s toy when she got angry, or let things fly around the room when she was laughing. when she found out she was a witch at age eleven, things fell in its place. and the macdonalds, while traditional catholics, accepted mary, which is the most important thing of it all. her parents were shocked, yes, but they squeezed her shoulder and promised to discover this all together.

which?? very much influenced mary greatly? because it went against a lot of things they – and she, too – believed in? this has allowed her to have a faith in people, and while she may be cynical and bitter at times, that faith is still there.

hogwarts was as chaotic as home, and mary settled in quite nicely. sorted into gryffindor ( she guessed it was for her rambunctious nature, but who knew ), she found herself a second home and loved it. as it turned out, she was rather good with a wand as well – she didn’t do so good at essays, though – and genuinely liked learning ( except for history of magic. fuck that. ).

being a muggleborn had its downsides, of course, but mary never really allowed herself to feel discouraged. hurt? yes, definitely, but never discouraged. she wasn’t going to let it get to her, she told herself, but it did, especially when the harsh words turned into something more. it was during her confrontation with mulciber that mary felt true, harsh fear for the first time. she felt shut down, paralysed, depressed —– but then, after a while, she got up and took some important steps. she reported mulciber, which led to nothing, which caused her to feel angry, which in turn caused her to feel determination. if the system wasn’t going to be on her side, she’d just have to fucking change it, right? mary started throwing herself in her schoolwork, determined to join the dmle – hopefully as an auror, but any position would do. she suppressed her fear and the trauma that was there, and kept her chin up.

the entire mulciber situation is up for change, should we get a mulciber, or if it doesn’t correspondent with the plot/rp canon! 

graduation rolled around and mary got the five required NEWTs to even apply. it was a nervewracking process, but once she got into auror training, she cried. like. for a year. she was so proud of herself and she felt so determined and !! man. it was such a good, defining moment. around the same time, mary joined the order; she knew the ministry was corrupt, and that it’d not allow her to do everything she wanted to, when the order DID. mary had too much anger, too much determination to fight this bullshit to just stick with the ministry, and so the order seemed like the right place.

right now, she’s fighting. she’s gritting her teeth and keeping her goals in the back in her mind and is focusing. and she does not always feel brave or confident or self assured, but that does not matter: mary macdonald always gets the fuck back up, and that’s what she will keep doing until she’s completely knocked down.

personality & tidbits

mary is a human espresso. she’s so. damn. bitter?? despite the fact that she keeps on going and that she’s fighting her ass off, she’s tired and angry that things don’t seem to be moving in the right direction, she’s feeling bitter about the fact that this kind of discrimination is happening right in front of her eyes and that she does not have enough power to stop it. she feels powerless, which makes her feel bitter, which makes her cynical.

still! mary is not necessarily a debbie downer to be around. she keeps her bitterness ( and hopelessness, even ) carefully hidden in boxes in her mind. on the outside, she’s filled with quips and smiles and quick comments! just a sociable bean, but just a bitter one.

is a dog person and will fight anyone who prefers cats. has a cairn terrier called bowie. she loves him more than anyone.

obsessed with tea, tbh. her ma always said that ‘there’s nothing a cuppa can’t fix’ and mary definitely agrees with this statement.

though is also a ‘whiskey in a teacup’ kinda gal

can be spotted wearing either a rly nice ass blazer or a jean jacket, no inbetween. either office-fancy or farmer-chique

fucking loves muggle culture and loves fellow muggleborns and !!!!!! she loves it!!!

very much in a take-no-prisoners mindset at this point re: death eaters. it kind of scares her, tbh, but mary is very much capable of murdering a death eater, even if she could stun them — she’s just done. she’s very. done. with them. and this whole shbang? will only feed into this.

mary is ruthless, that’s what it boils down to. she’s a lot more than that, of course, but i chose that trait for her app because she is --- in small things ( football matches & boardgames ) but also in bigger ones, and of course the war is the main way it shows. mary is so angry. she’s so angry and scared and tired of feeling that way and tired of being scared to lose people and herself and of death and she’s so angry that people really are this way and that they really do these things --- she wants it to stop. she wants the world to be right. and sometimes she thinks the ends do justify the means. 

this is why she’s chaotic neutral and not chaotic good.

like ive had her turned to dark arts before just bc she’s so desperate to. fucking win.

and she’s also like --- mary doesnt care if she ruins herself? if she becomes a bad person who’s unable to live with the shit she’s done? as long as the world is better for it, as long as kids can go to hogwarts and feel safe and the world is a safe place for everyone. what does her soul matter in the grand scheme of things? she’d burn in hell forever if it meant the rest of the world changed for the better.

emotionally driven mess of a being

is catholic but struggles a lot with religion and feeling faithful, but she does still identify is a catholic, it’s just? complicated. it’s rly complicated and she hates it.

is a bit flighty when it comes to romance, def has a lot of one night stands/fwb situations though??? she’s just like??? i dont have time for romance its a WAR

has been trying to stop smoking for five years, but alas

mary also works part time at quality quidditch supplies because the girl loves quidditch ---- though not as much as she loves football.

a proud scot. probably lives in scotland, but i’m ... going to keep her living situaiton open and segue into Wanted Plots!

plot ideas

roomies ----- so mary is not Earning A Whole Lot Right Now but does not want to live at home any more because 1. its in the middle of nowhere and 2. most importantly, she’s afraid of endangering her family. she needs roomies! i’d love for her to live in glasgow/edinburgh/london/idk a city!!!

hook ups/fwb’s/etc ----- mary is what the old ppl call promiscuous and she sleeps around. so ! let’s talk! former hook ups! booty calls! friends with benefits! etc etc etc! 

party pals ---- mary likes going to pubs and clubs in the muggle part of town bc it is a LIT way to escape the reality of the wizarding world and also, muggle clubs have better music. come party w her!!!!

in the dragon’s den together ---- fellow ministry employees who side eye the ministry and whom mary can sip tea and judge their colleagues with

mudbloods club ---- mary loves her fellow muggleborns and i would love some muggleborn friends that she can be buds with. ranting about dumb pureblood names and traditions and the fact that wizards dont have movies

general friendship ideas ---- im just going to a bunch of ideas here: hogwarts friends, ride or dies, order pals, friendly exes, fellow tea drinkers that she can go on coffee/tea dates with, friends who are growing apart bc of the war (my fave), etc.

etc ---- some other ideas i want to spitball: purists who h8 on mary’s life, fellow diagon alley employees, fellow order members, Annoyances, there is solidarity in being scottish, ministry connections, etc etc etc HIT ME UP

[the-guccidamn]

a decade; an entry.

it’s december 31st and weirdly enough, i just want to cry. over what? i have no idea, i am still trying to figure out. maybe because it’s not only the year ending, but a whole ass decade. maybe because exo is having a concert right now and i stopped streaming because i am afraid it might really be their last. maybe because the holidays, in general, are making me upset. i don’t know, i just feel upset.

but i wanted to do a recap just for the sake of it. scratch that, tbh i am just one of those sentimental human beings who love going back and remembering. 

so here goes.

2010

graduated elementary with flying colors. valedictorian. i remember being just so eager to learn, to be the best, to achieve and achieve and achieve things - as many as i can. i remember entering high school and being blown away by the presence of new people. high school made things more interesting - socially. i belonged to squads. i had legit crushes that turned into heartbreaks (or so i thought back then). high school drama was also prominent, was it even high school without it? everything was just so new, refreshing, interesting and there i was still trying to be on top of it - in a good way. or not. i tried to blend in, to belong, whilst aiming for that first honor medal. this was also the year i cried for the first time because i was not able to attend a damn concert. i hate u justin bieber for making me feel distraught that day in may. i also hate the fact that i did not know it was going to be our last annual family outing. corregidor was still a place to revisit though, thanks to the history attached to it - no, i don’t think i liked their beach very much.

2011

a continuation of the eager version of me. you know this year might have been my calmest and chillest year had it not been for the fact that my family’s life turned upside down. my dad got diagnosed with cancer and well, you can say nothing has been the same ever since. it wasn’t until i am typing this that i realized how traumatic that year was. sudden visits to the hospitals. me being on edge all the time. me trying to be the same eager vane who wants to achieve as many as she can to make her parents proud, while trying to hide the fact that she is so so SO SCARED of what might happen. looking back, i tried so hard to busy myself with academics, with friends, just so i wouldn’t have to dwell with my family’s current situation. home made me so stressed - emotionally and mentally, but i couldn’t just run away because i knew back then that it would be such a waste of time and energy and just - i did not wanna regret anything. it was also the year when i sprained my ankle during sparring. we took Taekwondo classes - would have been a black belter or somewhere close to that if we continued it though, i mean maybe.

2012

the inevitable happened. 5 became 4. and i don’t know. to be honest, i am currently contemplating whether or not i have cried enough during that year, or even allowed myself enough time needed to just feel the pain because i don’t think it has healed yet. or will it ever be healed? does time really heal all wounds, or does it just make them more tolerable? it is pathetic but i can trace everything that i have been hurting about lately to this year alone. my heart literally breaks every now and then, and every now and then i try so hard to mend it because who wants to live the rest of their lives with a shattered heart? goodness me. i spent the summer of it acting though, and preparing for my first ever musical appearance. the workshop was satisfying as i got compliments for my acting. little did they know that every day i attended it was me already acting out that i was, in fact, okay and not on the verge of crying. it’s funny because 2012 was also the year when a huge turn point of my whole identity happened. it was during the time when i was tolerating the pain of having my wisdom teeth removed, and out of boredom i searched One Direction on Youtube - the rest was history. One Direction literally became my savers, distraction, whatever you can call it. It was unhealthy, in some part, yes, but at least I do not feel devastated, at loss, sui***al. It was such a big change. I am still the eager vane who tried to achieve and achieve but now a new reason was added, it’s to be worthy of asking a concert ticket just in case 1d decided to pay Manila a visit. I was such a sucker for them. it was when i discovered stan twitter, new people who are also “like me”, exposed to new cultures, time differences, the fangirl culture - oh the fan parties what fun. I hated and loved niall, louis, liam, zayn and harry (OH HARRY) at the same time. along with my fangirl awakening, 2012 was the year when i attended my first ever concert. it was of the jonas brothers. i won the ticket through twitter out of sheer desperation (i even skipped school because i was just so upset at the thought of not going) and then there i was. found myself inside moa arena, alone, in lowerbox. and when when you looked me in the eyes played, a wave of feelings hit me. i felt at home. the moment, i left the arena, there was a newly discovered need of attending concerts inside me already. i also got braces this year.

2013

if this was the peak of 1d, this was the peak of my high school life i guess. or was it because i was in my fourth year? nonetheless, i remember just feeling so high that year. figuratively. i was so busy with academics and fangirling i had no time to feel low. do you get what i am saying? it was sort of the year where everything in my life is fitting into places. i really busied myself with trying to achieve as many as i can because i wanted to be the class valedictorian. i joined the interschool youth month event - there’s a fake council meeting we had back then, and i remember feeling so giddy that they picked my proposal. i also made friends with the people i met there. i had felt accomplished when i was able to write and finish a script for a play - which i also directed, and played in. i felt so so sooo proud of myself for performing a monologue during the talent contest of the most outstanding student of muntinlupa, and even more so when i learned i placed 12th. i felt so accomplished for being the student council’s president, for contributing to the choreo of our cheerdance, for winning the field demonstration, for having lots of hohol with friends, for getting a passing score during the mock UPCAT, and even more so for passing UPCAT, and even UST (damn you, Ateneo). 2013 made me feel i had everything figured out.

2014

Assumption College - man, I did not expect to end here. an all girls’ school, really? but it’s still a prestigious one so...... i hated myself for not pursuing UST or UPLB. talk about culture shock, this was what this year was all about. it’s a blur now, honestly. i remembered just trying so hard to belong again. i tried to blend in to the elite girls there - whilst sticking to my identity. i did not join any clubs, although i wanted to, because as an academic scholar, i had to see if i would be able to balance them out if ever. but i also remember trying to fulfill my uaap dreams - it was the year i became so obsessed with uaap men’s basketball (hello, von pessumal), i went to real games (thank u sweet anne and vhon) and i event went to the cheerdance competition. and it did not happen again lol. 2014 was just the year of frosh vane and everyone in college being surprised that i do well academically.

2015

now this is a pretty interesting year. would i like to relive it? 95% yes. the 5% is because this was the year zayn left 1d, broke my heart and had me healing it for 4 months. anyway, to start, i attended two concerts this year. 1st was The Vamps - this was just impulsive. i liked them but did not really stan. now idk the main reason why i pushed myself so hard to find a gen-ad ticket for their show - but hey their music was my jam back then, also i learned that gen-ad was for desperate people only because it was so high my acrophobia was shaking so there you go. i attended Graphika as well that year - i was enlightened of what my program could do, guess it was the start of falling in “like” for my program which i also chose impulsively. the second concert was the one and only, of One Direction. BEST DAY STILL. ONE FOR THE BOOKS. AN ACTUAL CONCERT I WAITED FOR. I REMEMBER HOW HAPPY I FELT THAT DAY DESPITE THE SHITTY EXPERIENCE OF LINING UP UNDER THE SUN FOR 11 HOURS (little did i know it was nothing compared to what i would be doing now). BUT MY GOODNESS, SEEING THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME LIVE, EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE ONLY FOUR, WAS ENOUGH. I FELT SO HIGH AND JUST GENUINELY HAPPY I WAS SCREAMING AND CRYING THAT NIGHT. I LOVE ONE DIRECTION 5EVER. I FELT SO LOVED BACK THEN IDK EXACTLY HOW IT HAPPENED BUT I JUST DID AND I ALSO REMEMBER NOT WANTING TO LEAVE THE CONCERT GROUNDS AND NOT WANTING IT TO END. but zayn left, 4 days later. man, it felt like a real breakup, and i did not even have a boyfriend so. thankfully, my school went through an academic calendar shift meaning we had 4 months of vacation so i was able to mend it during that time and enjoyed watching tons and tons of movies and series. also, my family was able to go to Baguio after so many years, there’s that. anyway i went back to school with a newly appreciation and knowledge for films whilst sporting my new short hair look. the first semester of my sophomore year was a blast - i felt like a real communication arts student for the first time. we spent our days editing, shooting, script writing, acting, concept making, IT WAS FUN AND I LOVED IT SO SO SO MUCH. even more so when my pieces got compliments and praises from my professors, i was so pleased with myself. the second half of 2015 was me putting a twist to my college life. i joined a club, and not just any club, i joined the school’s dance company. hip-hop team. with a legit coach (no pun intended). and dare i say it was life changing? i learned a lot since then. values that only a dedicated student-athlete can understand. looking back, auditioning for tadc (no matter how scary it went) was an A+ decision. i would audition again tbvh. it opened me to a new community and experiences not everyone has the privilege to have. trainings may have been tough but the bliss you feel after every successful run was enough to keep going. 

2016

I TURNED 18. it was the year i had my jade west phase. i had no regrets. it was the year when i had my first ever dance competition - we lost 1st place though, but it was motivation for me to not leave the group and continue to strive for the better. 2016 WAS THE YEAR FOR FANGIRL VANE. I SAW 5 SECONDS OF SUMMER. LIVE. IT WAS AS AMAZING AS EVER. after camping out for the first time just for the sake of buying a ticket with soundcheck inclusions, did not buy it myself though because i had a performance at the same time, I FINALLY GOT TO BE IN THE VIP MOSHPIT OF THE BAND I LOVE THE MOST. IT WAS A THRILLING ROLLERCOASTER NIGHT. I DANCED SO HARD. CRIED BECAUSE THE SONGS BROUGHT SO MUCH MEMORIES. FREAKED OUT BECAUSE LUKE MY BOYFRIEND HEMMINGS WAS JUST AN ARM AWAY. I ALSO GOT MICHAEL’S GUITAR PICK. I CAN SAFELY SAY I WON THAT DAY. I WANTED TO DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. 2016 was when i really busied myself in dancing. my first crissa competition and let me tell you how fulfilling it was to compete with top schools and perform on the same stage as them. who could have thought i would be performing at the big dome, right? it’s really just me and my growth as a dancer for 2016. oh and my slowly coming back to the kdrama/kpop world.

2017

EXO. THE PLOT TWIST OF MY 2017. the moment i impulsively attended THE EXORDIUM IN MANILA, i was in it for life. it was 1d all over again. I SPENT DAYS FANGIRLING, KEEPING UP, WATCHING FANCAMS AND VIDEOS. READING SEKAI FICS. ACTUALLY BUYING ALBUMS AND MERCH. AND WOW JUST A NEW FANDOM CULTURE TO LEARN AND DROWN MYSELF IN. EXO was meant to be though, knew it when i danced to Growl back in 2013 but never did i think i would be in it SOOOOO DEEP. THE IMPULSIVE DECISION TO ATTEND THEIR CONCERT WAS SO WORTH IT. I FELT SO SO SO HIGH AGAIN AND ANOTHER KIND OF BONAFIDE HAPPINESS. i am thankful to have found another distraction/motivation especially when things are getting hard in school. campaigns here, campaigns there. and thesis. stupid thesis. it’s really that thing in school that will make you cry. 2017 was also my last academic year. my senior year in college. and it changed a lot in school especially when you are part of organizations, it gets busier than ever, more schedules, you cannot keep up. i cannot believe i was able to balance thesis, academics and tadc especially on the last quarter of the year. had to study, submit requirements, train endlessly, at the same time i was honestly going insane. HOWEVER, TADC CAME IN 4TH PLACE DURING CRISSA FINALS with a team consisted of half rookies HU TO THE RRAH. I also became more committed to the team than ever :( i never expected it but i guess such things happen when you actually do like what you are doing. coach vimi also acknowledged me a lot this year :( i felt so pleased again.

2018

i really don’t wanna remember this year. after graduation, my mental health dropped to an all time low. i was paranoid, insane, anxious. it was the start. i also got an appendicitis and underwent appendectomy this year. but hey, on december i got a stable job at a well-known accounting firm (uh, what? right). earlier during this year though, i saw exo again for the 2nd time. it was bittersweet, i swore to do better for the next tour. and yes, for all it’s worth, for all those times i strived so hard to get an uno whilst being surrounded by org commitments and pagod na ako moods, i graduated magna cum laude from assumption college. still, a win for me. oh and 2018, i finally got my braces off.

2019

here it is, the last year year of this decade. what can i say? to be honest, it was just me holding my mental health in. there were worst days, but there were also the best days. best days include me lining up for 30 hours for an exo ticket (with camila, and surprisingly, my mom). it ended up with me feeling blessed and grateful, and my heart full. of course, there’s the concert itself. seeing exo for the third time doesn’t really feel different compared to the first time i saw them last 2017. they were down 3 members yes, but i still felt so happy to share that moment with them. that’s when i knew i was really in it for life. best days also include me accomplishing my tasks in my work with flourish, getting compliments from my boss. oh and it also includes the outings i had with my family. went to the beach twice this year - first in batangas, second in pagudpud. cried in batangas because it has really been so long and beaches remind me of the good old times. in ilocos, it went well, i am glad we got to see that despite our situation, outings like this are still possible. i am so glad to say, or rather write, that i am ending this year and this decade, with a calm heart. i am happy, as happy as i can be this year. we had a pleasant staycation during Christmas. and i finally handed in my resignation, plus i got to have 2 weeks off thanks to my approved VL. exo made me cry though :( i hope to see them still next year.

for 2020, and for the next decade, i hope to be happy. the genuine happy. i pray that my family would be healthy, stress-free and happy, and complete. i pray that everything will go well with my new job. i pray that i will be able to do more outings with my family (even internationally, please). as for the little things, i hope i can fix my back problems, i hope i can continue to write (even just sekai fics), i hope i can visit south korea for an exo concert, i hope i can attend more concerts, i hope for the little things that will make me happy. i hope nothing more but a healthy and bounty new year and decade for me, my family, my relatives, and my friends, especially to those who cared. i will also include the people who need it the most, and this country as well, because i just can’t stand seeing people have less while some have more. anyway, cheers.

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

35 things to inspire you during your 2019 self-love sessions

May is National Masturbation Month, and we're celebrating with Feeling Yourself, a series exploring the finer points of self-pleasure.

So far, 2019 hasn't been a particularly sexy year.

When you think about, we've all had to watch a lot of straight-up nonsense go down. Green Book won the Oscar for Best Picture, Jeff Bezos' "sexts" leaked, and Sonic the Hedgehog got a full set of human teeth, for goodness sake. Gross!

A bunch of this year's pop culture moments have been genuinely disappointing, but we're not going to let that harsh our self-love vibes. From sexy fashion statements and television characters, to memes and music, 2019 has definitely given us some glorious moments worthy of recalling during the act of self-pleasure.

If you find yourself in need of some masturbation inspiration, here are 35 ~very 2019~ things to think about.

1. Chris Evans' teal velvet pants: Christopher Robert Evans had the absolute audacity to show up to an Avengers: Endgame press event in April wearing teal velvet pants. The trousers looked as though they were hand-crafted by an angelic seamstresses in the clouds and came with the equally stunning teal velvet suit jacket Evans wore to the Oscars earlier this year. We're all blessed that his stylist, Ilaria Urbinati, firmly believes you should "never let a great pair of trousers go to waste."

Chris Evans inventing pants.

Image: ALBERTO E. RODRIGUEZ/GETTY IMAGES FOR DISNEY

2. America's ass: While we're on the topic of Chris Evans' pants, let's get another inevitable Chris-related 2019 thirst trap out of the way. Feel free to think of the real star of Avengers: Endgame — America's ass — whenever you need a dose of dayummmm. 🇺🇸🍑

3. "Old Town Road": There are many subject-appropriate songs out there to get off to, but if you're looking to switch things up a bit, consider listening to the 2019 anthems, "Old Town Road" and the remix, for inspiration.

4. The possibility of eliminating student debt: This year, Elizabeth Warren announced her plans to cancel student debt and eliminate college tuition for future students, and honestly? Just the thought of having your ridiculously high student debt forgiven is *tingles* exciting. 

5. The new Staples logo: People got seriously amped when that little staple unfolded. So... strong.

SEE ALSO: 7 ridiculously large sex toys to help you go big in the bedroom

6. The Jonas Brothers reunion AND the introduction of the Jonas Sisters: One of the world's most popular boy bands — a band of literal biological brothers — reunited in 2019, and that alone is reason enough for everyone to be "Burnin' Up." But with the reunion also came the introduction of the fierce female trio, the Jonas Sisters (aka Sophie Turner, Priyanka Chopra, and Danielle Jonas). 🔥

7. The black hole: The world saw the first recorded image of a black hole in 2019, and I guess it's kind of hot, right? It is described as "supermassive," so. Hey. 

8. The possible return of Wendy's Spicy Chicken Nuggets: Can you think of a thought spicer than imagining the possible return of Wendy's Spicy Chicken Nuggets? There aren't many. 

9. The thought of the L train being functional: Governor Andrew Cuomo is confident that limiting service of the extraordinarily popular L train for a year will be in the city's best interest, but in the mean time New Yorkers are living a fresh new subway hell. Stay strong, people. And if necessary, after a long-ass day of commuting, feel free to envision a beautiful, fully functioning L train in the sack.

10. Jauz's "Baby Shark" remix: I think the Coachella track really speaks for itself doo doo doo doo doo doo.

11. KFC's hot new Colonel Sanders: KFC isn't simply in the business of making people hungry for chicken anymore. Now they're interested in making people thirst for their hot new Colonel Sanders. (It's working?)

12. The thought of sexting with a robot: Mashable Staff Writer Jess Joho sexted with a bot, and you can too. Turns out it's surprisingly hot.

13. The Night King: Listen, he wasn't very nice. He's also dead now. But in his glory days the Night King could get it.

14. The Hulk's junk: Ever wonder if the Hulk can have sex? There's a lot to unpack. Consider doing so next time you get down with yourself, because, why not?

15. David's dance on Schitt's Creek: David and Patrick's relationship is one of the best on television, and while David's dance to Tina Turner's "The Best" is sweet enough to make you ugly cry, it's also sexy as hell and impossible to watch without getting chills. (The same argument can be made for the scene where Patrick sings "The Best" to David.)

16. Literally any moment from the 2 hours and 17 minutes of Beyoncé's Homecoming: The performance is the definition of flawless and we are barely worthy of such brilliance.

17. The Burn This poster: The poster for the Broadway revival of Lanford Wilson's Burn This is haaaaawt. It features Adam Driver and Keri Russell lookin' gorg, just chillin' horizontal on a couch all dreamy and idyllic and shit. See for yourself.

18. This sand art replica of Dwayne Johnson's face: You might not initially think a video of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's head being assembled from sand is the stuff to inspire hot thoughts, which is understandable, but if you never try you'll never know, right?

19. Bowsette: The fan-created character that mashes Bowser and Princess Peach together was dismissed by Nintendo this year, but that doesn't stop people from lusting over NSFW Bowsette art online.

20. This extremely long dongle: Major BDE (Big Dongle Energy) coming from this one. Who can ignore?

This is one long dongle #io19 pic.twitter.com/OtNf1fsdDK

— Raymond Wong📱💾📼 (@raywongy) May 7, 2019

21. The moment Captain America wielded Thor's hammer: Yes, we've already gave a nod to Chris Evans/Captain America twice on this list, but how could we not acknowledge the ⚡electric⚡ moment Cap summoned Mjolnir? A real shock to the heart.

22. 500 Intel drones performing a choreographed light show set to Phish: Get jammin', folks.

23. Golf balls cut in half: These artsy halved golf balls with tantalizingly scrumptious interiors are forbidden snacks, but we can still drool.

24. Demon Beto O'Rourke: When the skateboarding, burger-loving, Beyoncé-endorsed musician Beto O'Rourke ran for Texas Senator against Ted Cruz, he was one of the most crush-worthy men on the planet. Now, O'Rourke is running for president, though, and the American people can't afford to let their thirst distract them from focusing on policy issues. Rather than thinking of Beto to get yourself all hot and bothered consider, focusing on this comedian's parody version, Demon Beto.

25. Animations of a baguette on the move: We are not suggesting you think about just any old loaf of bread while masturbating. Animated baguettes are special.

26. Villanelle and Eve: The relationship between the two Killing Eve characters may be complicated, but their chemistry is clear as day. Scenes like this are simply too intense to just watch.

27. Crocs and shaving cream: In case you haven't seen, putting large dollops of shaving cream in Crocs and then inserting feet forces the shaving cream to escape out of the signature shoe holes. It's quite the satisfying sight.

28. Basically every Met Gala outfit: The 2019 Met Gala theme was "Camp" — inspired by Susan Sontag's 1964 essay — and everyone's outfits were S T U N N I N G. Here is a list of some greats. 

29. The Rihanna birthday outfit challenge: Everyone knows Rihanna slays the Met Gala when she attends, but since the singer didn't make it this year we have to get our fix another way. Try searching "Rihanna" and your birthday on Google and see one of her iconic outfits will appear. You're welcome.

30. Balenciaga Crocs: Speaking of Crocs and the Met... I like those Balenciagas. The ones that look like Crocs. 😏

of course the balenciaga crocs are here pic.twitter.com/34ZWXYXAKD

— rachel syme (@rachsyme) May 6, 2019

31. Jake Gyllenhaal in Spider-Man Far From Home trailer: HeLLO, Mysterio. We see that beard and shaggy Jim Halpert hair, boy.

32. What if we kissed memes: A perfect meme for those who want to imagine kissing people in super bizarre places — like near a high voltage box — but are in need of inspiration.

33. The gray streak in Richard Madden's hair: 50 strands of gray = bae.

34. The Senate Intelligence Committee subpoenaing Donald Trump Jr. to testify over the Russia Investigation: Perhaps some people will take pleasure from imagining Trump's son testifying in hopes it will shed some light on this long, national, election hacking nightmare. IDK! 

35. Samsung's foldable phone: The wide, glossy screen folds in half for goodness sake. 

Digital hot dog bun.

Image: RAYMOND WONG / MASHABLE

Have fun, everyone!

WATCH: Gaga and Bradley set the meme-osphere and our loins ablaze this week with their Oscar's performance — All the Memes

[femaleidols]

im curious on the admins opinions on the whole mamamoo blackface situation... im really having a hard time bc mamamoo was one of my ult groups but it's been so hard for me to move past that as a black woman and it hurts bc i can feel myself not having the joy i had before for this comeback :( im just curious about how the admins felt and how they worked past it

see our honest opinions below the cut!

sullflower: To be honest, I can’t say much about their scandal because I didn’t follow it nor am I a Moomoo. But you have every right to be disappointed. It’s totally okay if you don’t feel like enjoying them anymore, really. I know I wasn’t much help, but I hope you’ll find a way you’re comfortable with.

iyokans: (hiatus)

heonies: I don’t want to share any opinion on the matter since I don’t really follow mamamoo and only recently heard of the events. It is incredibly disappointing though, and you have every right to be upset. All I can say is, if something hurts you, don’t invest your time and effort into it. You do you, and don’t feel bad about it.

jiaerrs: dude i totally get it if you’re having a hard time. one of my ubs fucked up in a similar way last week and blatantly ignored black fans who were sending him messages to educate him. while i can’t understand how painful it is firsthand as an asian woman, i understand completely if you’re feeling conflicted/upset/etc. over what mamamoo did. ngl, i was very disappointed when i saw them do blackface again after i was starting to get over their last incident. even with rbw stepping up and issuing apologies for multiple instances, it doesn’t seem genuine because it keeps happening. seeing the amount of people justifying it because bruno mars wasn’t black and bringing up sexist double standards to absolve the girls from their fuckups is a headache to deal with. whatever you feel is totally valid, and it’s fine if you’re not excited or maybe you are. i just hope no one gives you a hard time for doing either or!

katypery: i don’t know the details on how this scandal unfolded since i haven’t been following it but when i heard it i was extremely disappointed with them. i’m not a moomoo myself so i don’t follow their activities but i do hope they learn from their mistakes regardless. i believe you have the right to be hurt since this situation affected you directly and probably most of their black fans as well so it’s totally understandable if you don’t feel like enjoying this comeback! i personally don’t see anything wrong with you feeling that way so don’t go hard on yourself and support them only if you feel comfortable.

sunjis: first of all, i’m not black. honestly when a situation like this happens i don’t even get surprised anymore, which is sad, i always expect the worst to happen sooner or later but when it does i still get disappointed. regardless of being an idol i like, my relatives, someone from work/school, i just hope the person learns from their mistakes and keep an open mind when they hear critics. i got really surprised by rbw apology, but what saddened me the most were some fans reactions, defending them and therefore proving themselves of being completely ignorant. if what happened made you sad and you don’t feel excited anymore, it’s fine, really. it’s not worthy giving more chances to something that makes you feel bad and it’s not your or any fans obligation to educate them, sometimes we just have to get away and do what is the best for ourselves.

lauxrent:I think that generally when you fave fucks up you need to understand that if you can’t move on past what they did it’s perfectly fine and you don’t have to overcome it? Like if they don’t bring you joy anymore you shouldn’t force yourself into it. Maybe it will pass with time maybe it won’t. I know that it must be sad and disappointing when your fave group fucks up and looses its magic for you because of that, but if it really bothers you shouldn’t feel obliged to accept it. I know that there is a certain pressure in kpop fandom to accept idols’ mistakes and that some fandoms are really nasty to people that can’t forgive their faves but this fandom culture is toxic and you primarily should focus on what makes you happy. Myself I was never really a fan of mamamoo and I won’t become one now.

sooyulti:it’s really disappointing and there’s no excuse for racism, all this bullshit that fans say when trying to explain it like “their culture is different”, i believe it makes the situation even worse… and i know they apologized but it’s hard to accept it, especially when they have a big international fanbase, they should’ve educated themselves by searching through internet, i’m sure they have access to it. anyways, idk how i could help you to move past that bc i’m still very disappointed and i can’t move past that either, i just hope the girls will learn from this and won’t make the same mistake again.

wonhosoks: i was pretty surprised that they did that tbh but im not into them like as a “fan” so my only opinion probably it was disappointing coming from them? idk but i totally get that you would feel hurt cus they are ur ult group too :(  im so sorry I dont think i helped much at all :(

24kool: i’d rather not share my opinion on it, however i do hope you manage to find the right solution for you 💜

1krystaljung:when mamamoo first did it i was rly dissapointed and upset of course… but then they apologized so soon after which was really surprising and i wanted to forgive them & believe they had really learned from their mistakes. like i don’t think i’ve seen many idols apologize when they’re in situations like this, so i thought it was great they were aplogizing and i believed it to be genuine and that they were really gonna grow and learn from it! but then… they jst went and did blackface again so shortly after lmao… like i really thought they had learned and listened to what people had to say but i guess the apology was just to save face and wasn’t really genuine at all lol?? so the whole thing is really upsetting to me and i lost a lot of respect for them, especially now that they’re caught up in the controversy of them wearing bindis… like……. do they not learn??? it feels like they don’t really care like at all lmao. aaaand that’s my opinion on that. sorry, but i don’t really have much to say on “working past it” because i was never really a mamamoo stan, i just listen to some songs here and there. if you decide to work past it, good luck, i know it can be kind of hard to work past something like that, especially since it wasn’t just a one time thing :/ and if you decide to drop them that’s totally understandable and i wouldn’t blame you

seuhgi:that was disappointing for sure.

prkchaeyoung: i was never really a mamamoo fan, but what mamamoo did was extremely ignorant and it hurt a lot of people. if you believe that letting go of them is the best thing for you, then go for it!

yoonbomis: i’m sorry that the situation has made u feel this way :( the situation did make me upset and quite shocked?? (since i’m not a big fan of mmm, i didn’t really expect it) and i’m glad that fans’ rightfully upset/offended/perhaps betrayed? feelings to it was able to get a least, an apologetic response out of mamamoo and their agency (if i remember right, they said things along the lines that they were going to aim to educate themselves on it?) but it is still something that is constantly in my thoughts whenever i think of or see mamamoo, so it did hinder my opinion of them. however, i still listen to their music, although not with the same enthusiasm as before. i’m sorry if i’m not too much help or comfort ;; (also because i am not a black woman) but i hope u are able to find a way to ease ur pain in a way that makes u comfortable and happy ^^

monoka: as a nonfan & someone who was never interested in them i have to say i avoid them as much as possible, because i got tired of their problematic antics. They have done so many things multiple times and still NOT learn. Their ignorance is amazing.

seulge: what bothers me the most is that mamamoo fans are quick to pretend that these girls did absolutely nothing wrong - or most of them at least. i will never forget seeing on twitter this one moomoo who was giving out false translations to protect mamamoo’s reputation or some bs. i do not like mamamoo as people anymore, and the fandom is equally toxic imo, so i stepped away a long time ago. i might check out the mv when it’s out and if the song is good, so be it. i’ll listen to it if it’s catchy.