#genuinely just like having a very cool job that i enjoy doing and am interested in is so cool and awesome | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

beauspot · 1 year

Text

The Bear Season 2: And Why I’m Fucking Annoyed (Full Spoilers below)

*Long Post*

The Bear is something truly special. When it dropped in June of last year it wasn’t a major hit right away. It was a sleeper and it grew its fanbase over time. If you were here this time last year you remember how small the fandom was posts on every platform could barely reach 200 interactions, but with the Golden Globe wins and the word of mouth this fandom began to grow and expand, because season one of the show was just so good.

Season 2 however is an interesting piece of media. I am well aware that I have some bias in this department and I can’t view this season objectively, but neither can the rest of you so I’ll say what I want.

To start off I really enjoyed some of the episodes this season, the first two? Excellent. The Marcus Episode(with my husband Will Poulter at his side)? Fantastic. The Richie Episode? Perfection. And let’s not even talk about Fishes, which was beyond words. I genuinely went into this season wanting to like it and praise it the way I did the previous season because I thought it was good. The writing—which is spectacular in nearly every other place—takes a nosedive with this romance plot. I still do think it’s good, but I can’t act like this whole season hasn’t left a sour taste in my mouth, because it has. Because the show runners are lying racist misogynistic nasty assholes who bullshitted us for nothing.

Toward the end of last year/beginning of this year Chef’s Kiss fans words made their way to some journalist who then asked about the potential for it with the actors and the writer( in an article stupidly named “don’t worry the bear doesn’t want carmy and sydney to kiss, either” the writer of which goes on to ship carmy and marcus so clearly they have excellent taste 😒) who all shut it down. Fine. That’s fine. That’s their opinion and it doesn’t affect us. What bothers me is the words of the co-creator Chris Storer who said this 👇🏾

He went on to say the show was also just meant to be focused on these people doing their jobs. So fine. We said even if it won’t be canon there’s no way they would bring in a new love interest cause that’s not “the vision” they have for the show, right?(He also goes on in the pic above to act like we couldn’t separate our love of the plot of the show from the ship which is…infantilizing and annoying) continuing on though, he also said this

He thought it would be cool to see a show with no romantic plot. Mind you this statement was made in January and the show starting filming in February. So unless they want me to believe they added this romance plot as some last minute thing (which very well could be the case as Claire has quite literally no personality outside of being pushy and being Carmy’s girlfriend) they knew they were having a romance plot in the second season and chose to lie about it. So the actors, the creator, basically everyone who was apart of this project said that Syd and Carmy were a weird ship (a strange thing to say to your, at the time, small audience even if that’s how you felt) just for them to turn around and have Carmy with a new love interest from school and have Sydney and marcus develop feelings for one another in the second to last episode? can y’all be fucking forreal for one minute?

Suddenly all you “yesss let men and women be friends, not every show needs romance” ass bitches want to ship something. I can tell you know Syd and Carmy have chemistry otherwise you wouldn’t have been shaking in your boots hoping the writers wouldn’t get them together. There was some dumb post i saw rooting for Claire and Carm but then adding ‘no one was better than platonic Sydcarmy’…

I see you.

I spoke about this before, but this constant sidelining of black women in these types of shows irks me. Sydney is basically hunting Carmy down for 85% of the season because he can’t do his fucking job he’s so consumed with Claire. And I know people are gonna say i’m being overdramatic, but it’s so clear they just did not want their main white boy to be with a black girl. Something that happens over and over and over again so many fucking times you can just lose count. Carmy, who in season one was so in tune with Sydney’s emotions he quelled his own anger and anxiety to ask if she was ok now ditches her at their restaurant to go help some girl he hasn’t seen since high school. He ditches her to go to a party then has the nerve to bring up Claire’s helping to inspire him.

Like yeah no shit Sydney is sorry that she’s there, y’all are opening a restaurant together which could fuck both your lives if it fails and Carmy is off doing god knows what instead of his job!

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!? And yeah, Carmy fucks it up at the end with Claire but that doesn’t negate the rest of the season. Chef’s Kiss shippers are strange and delusional and the show doesn’t need romance and then Claire is half naked in Carmy’s apartment? Look Carmy deserves happiness, his life has been basically nonstop stress and trauma since he was a kid and him ending the season thinking he doesn’t deserve fun or love is heartbreaking because it isn’t true, he deserves all the love in the world especially since he is actively trying to break the cycle (along with his sister). That doesn’t negate the fact that he agreed to being partners with Syd and then left her to make decisions on her own about a business they agreed to start together. Which is why he apologized and rightfully so.

And I know for a fact annoying Sydney and Marcus shippers are going to be like “well ackshully they are clearly setting up Sydcus this season so how can they hate black women.” I love Marcus as much as the next person and honestly after I saw where the writing was going I was like fuck it why not at this point, but if Sydney and Carmy’s shippers were living off crumbs Sydney and Marcus shippers were living off the memory of food. But sure that ship had development.

also no i don’t fuck with that syd and marcus ship because why the fuck are you snapping at sydney cause she rejected you and it wasn’t even really a rejection that was very incel core and it’s not about being upset half the kitchen is always screaming about something, it’s why he snapped at her.

I’m just angry so yeah fuck this show.

I’m genuinely contemplating if I want to watch the next season at all. I said if they wanted to go no romance, fine go no romance, but to not only lie about that but bring in some whole new girl we don’t know and throw the black girl to the closest guy despite the fact Sydney and Carmy are more alike than anyone else? You clearly need to do some introspection and think about why you can view Sydney and Carmen as friends but get sick at the thought of them being more.

There is a possibility (a slight possibility) that they are playing the long game we wanted, but i am wary because they lied and put a manic pixie indie girl in as a love interest this time and it sucked. But then I remember the scene with Syd and Carmy under the table and how open and honest they were with each other and even though their relationship wasn’t the best this season I can see it’s potential, because that one scene had more chemistry than all of that other ships other scenes combined. I don’t know.

This got me thinking though Will Poulter romcom when? I will be seated. Also the consensus on twitter is that people really didn’t like Claire and thought the show should have ditched their plot all together so that’s nice. A lot of people seem to think this is a setup for sydcarmy and idk, maybe i’ll rewatch when i’m more calm.

#the only little bitch here is the show runner for being a lying sack of shit #the bear #the bear season 2 #the bear s2 #the bear fx #the bear hulu #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #sydney adamu #syd adamu #carmy x syd #syd x carmy #sydcarmy #chefs kiss #carmney #the bear marcus #the bear tina #black girl romance #misogynoir

352 notes · View notes

clownprincehoeshi · 8 months

Text

Parallel Hearts - Chapter 1

Synopsis: Never in your wildest dreams you imagined that you’ll meet your ult bias. Maybe you finally have your shot at love and happiness. Or not.

Genre: Fluff, Smut, Angst

Pairing: fem reader x idol Jungkook fem reader x idol Mingyu fem reader x idol Hoshi

Warnings: Kissing-Nudity-Sex 18+-Harrassment-Stalking-Death mentions-Cheating

youtube

Word count: 4620

This is my first time writing, I hope there are no big mistakes in the text, I am also not a native english speaker. This is chapter 1 from a series of chapters that will be about more idols. The story starts sometime in 2022. Enjoy!

Next chapter

Masterlist

Why does it have to rain today of all days? Is this how this city is welcoming me? Am I not wanted here? Well, you’re stuck with me now, city! I’m not going back to my shitty town and my shitty life. This is a new beginning. Y/N said, as she stacks some boxes on the floor of her new home in Seoul.

She moved here today, after she was offered a new job at an advertising company. She thought she needs a big change in her life. It’s not like her life in her country back in Europe was interesting. Yeah, she had a couple of really good friends there, and her sister, but that was it. She’s not interested in dating or having a man, she’d rather spend her free time on her hobbies and on herself.

One of her hobbies being kpop. She got into it when covid struck and she had to spend her time inside. Weeks and weeks of working from home and spending her entire free time at home, so she needed to find new ways to entertain herself. That’s how kpop came into her life. It was also a period in her life when she felt lonely, because she just ended a 2 year relationship. She put a lot into it, and let’s say she was more than disappointed when the guy told her out of nowhere that their relationship isn’t going anywhere. But that’s life, and she had to move on.

Now, this is like a new start for her, but she will focus on work and making herself happy. Starting a new life in a new country isn’t easy, but her luck is starting to change when she meets her new coworkers. Most of them are Korean, but there are also some foreigners that immediately try to talk to her and get to know her. She’s not a very open and social person, so it’s hard for her to open up and be all friendly with strangers. But Hana from work notices this about Y/N so she will make it her mission to befriend Y/N and make her feel at home. Hana knows how it must feel, she’s been in her shows when she moved to Seoul from Busan.

Hana: I think me and Y/N will be good friends, she seems genuine, so I’m going to invite her to have lunch with me today.

Maddy: Go ahead. I think she seems pretty arrogant to me.

Hana: Stop judging before you actually talk to the person, geez.

Maddy: Whatever, you do you.

So here you are, having lunch with this girl with bright brown eyes, named Hana who just seems so nice. It makes you want to be friendly and nice back. But you’re curious as why is she being like this with you, so you ask.

Y/N: Soooo… I don’t want you to think I am being rude or anything, but I am curious about why you approached me.

Hana: Well, I also moved from a different city like 2 years ago, and I know things must feel weird for you now.

Y/N: Yeah, it does feel weird. And I am not the most social person. I am a little concerned about how people will see me and if I will make any friends here.

Hana: Oh, don’t worry. I’ll be here, we can be friends. Deal?

Y/N: Deal.

Hana: Stick around me and you’ll end up with a lot of friends. You could say I’m pretty popular.

Then she winks cutely at you, smiling.

In these weeks that you have grown to know Hana, you have learned that she’s is indeed popular, she’s sweet, kind, had a ton of friends and acquaintances. She’s so cool, you think to yourself. Also, thank god she’s into stuff that you too like, for instance kpop. You haven’t met that many people that are into it. Strange, you think.

It’s Friday evening and a text from Hana pops up on your phone screen.

Hana banana: Y/N, I think it’s time

Y/N: Time for what, silly?

Hana banana: For you to meet some of my friends

Y/N: But I met your friends?

Hana banana: Naah, these are other friends that I haven’t told you about

Y/N: Ok?

Hana banana: But I needed to be sure about you

Y/N: What you mean?

Y/N: Hana?

Y/N: Hana banana?

But she didn’t reply that night. She called you the next day, saying she wants to come over to talk about her friends. Was she hung over from last night? How much did she have to drink? Was she drunk now? Did she drink first thing in the morning? What’s with the mystery? You scratched your head as you loaded the washing machine. You’re waken from your thoughts by the doorbell. Hana must be here. You open the door and she’s storming inside, with a big grin on her face.

Hana: Ok, here you are

Y/N: Yeah, I should be here, it’s my house. Are you drunk? Where did you disappear last night?

Hana: I was with my friends and I told them about you, so they got curious and told me to bring you next time I meet them.

Y/N: And are they like spies or something? What’s with the mystery? Are they aliens?

Hana: I was thinking to prank you and just not tell you who they were and see your face when you meet them, but it would not be fair. But you need to look your best if you’ll meet them

Y/N: It’s not like I look like shit when we go out

Hana: Y/N, come on. Sometimes you dress like a homeless person

Y/N: That’s how I like it?

Hana: Nooo, you need to look your best for this one

Y/N: I think the fuck not. Not dressing up for no man

Hana: It’s Jungkook. You’re going to meet Jungkook, bitch. He’s one of my friends. And all the 97 line. Jaehyun is my cousin and sometimes he invites me to their dinners and hangouts with the other guys

Now… in your head there were conflicting thoughts. First thought was that this was a lie, there is no way in hell that the universe was so kind to you after all the shit you’re been trough in your life. She must be saying this to prank you, But what a stupid prank this is. Nobody should play games with you when it comes to your ult bias, JK. What is she thinking?

Y/N: You trying to die today?

You’re starting to get all red, you can feel it. You’re starting to get hot and angry. Angry at her for being such a pain in the ass. She knows you don’t like this type of shit, why is she doing this?

Hana: I am not lying!!! Look

As she takes her phone out her bag, she starts to show you photos and videos of her with the guys. Them, eating, drinking, taking night strolls, car rides, laughing, having fun

Remember that first thought? Scratch that. Those other thoughts? Irrelevant. Now you’re only thought was that one tik tok where Sponge Bob was putting on a maid outfit.

You grab Hana’s hands, look her in the eye and quiet sets between you two. You stay like that for a few moments. Then tears are forming in your eyes and they start to roll down your cheeks that are not a dark shade of pink, because you got angry before you got excited. You cry. You ugly cry.

Hana: What the fuck? Why you crying?

Y/N: What am I going to weaaaaaar?

What you’re going to wear. That was your fucking concern. Really? Well, duh!!! It’s Jungkook. He’ll see you. You. Why and how you’ve gotten so lucky, you don’t know. And the rest of the day you’re a ball of nerves, because you will see him tomorrow.

You can barely sleep that night. As usual, you spend your late hours in bed, watching Run BTS and Jungkook reels until you fall asleep. At 6 AM. You think you’re crazy and you will look like shit tomorrow. This is not the time to say I don’t give a shit how I look, I’m not going to look perfect for any man. But he’s not just any man, is he? No no. He’s the perfect man, you’re ideal man. How is he not everyone’s ideal man?

The next day you make sure to eat properly, to take extra care of your hair and skin, because you only got 4 hours of sleep last night. Thanks, Instagram for making reels a thing.

It’s 5 PM and Hana will be here any minute to pick you up. You’re feeling like shit. You feel like throwing up or shitting your pants, you don’t know which. You call you bff who’s back in your hometown. You’’re sure she’s awake, she’s a night person like you.

Y/N: Wifey, what am I going to do? What if I do something stupid in front of him? Should I just not open my mouth at all?

Bff: What? No, wtf! I mean, I know you’ll be weird and all, but just relax. Just be yourself, maybe try not to look like you trying to kill people, you know.

Y/N: Great talk!

Hana texts you she is downstairs. You grab your bag, check yourself in the mirror and leave your apartment. When you get into Hana’s car she starts whistling

Hana: Yooo, you looking for a girlfriend? I’m single.

You slap her shoulders and start blushing. But you know you’re mostly blushing because you know who you’re going to meet. But what if he’s not going to come? What if something happens and he can’t come? Shit! I wanna put my head into sand right now.

You arrive at the place you’re going to have dinner and drinks. You’re not much of a drinker, never been. In fact, you hate pretty much any taste of alcohol. It’s just not for you and your sensitive tasting buds. And you never try to drink just to please the people around you. No, you don’t care about that. So you won’t drink tonight either, unless they have something sweet. You like sweet alcohol, it’s tasty.

Hana walks in front of you, arriving to a private room and opens the door. You hear voices inside and your stomach shrinks into a little grain of sand. Oh god, I’m going to die!

She greets the people inside, everyone sounding friendly and nice, but then she moves. You were trying to hide behind her, but you’re been revealed now. You bow, greeting everyone. You’re so shy that you can’t even look them in the eye. At least not for more than 0,00001 seconds. You could be an octopus with how fast you feel your face changes color from normal to red. But you love octopuses, you find them cute. Your mind flies to octopuses when you’re meeting Jungkook. WTF. Focus!

Jungkook’s POV

You’re already at your second drink and you feel just a tiny tipsy. You hear the door opening and there is Hana. Oh, this means her new friends must be with her. But you can’t see the friend. You were about to ask about her, but then Hana moved from the way and there she was. Was she hiding behind Hana? That’s hilarious. She must be nervous, cute.

But when you see her, it’s like everything slows down. Like in those movies when the main character appears, looking all cool, and everyone is starring. This is how it felt. How can anyone be this attractive? Have I been drinking too much? I just had one glass, the hell. First thing you notice it’s her hair, because she was kind of looking down at first, then she bowed and her long, golden hair moved towards her face like the softest silk. You notice her big bright eyes, the way they avoided yours and that shy smile. She had a beautiful smile. She was wearing a cute short dress, revealing her shoulders and legs. Well, wow is all that you could say. Good thing nobody heard you. You hope.

Y/N’s POV

Hana points you to sit between her and Jaehyun. There is another girl there, and you find out it’s Eunwoo’s girlfriend. Wow, it must be crazy hard for them to hide their relationship from the public. I don’t really envy that, though. I wonder if Jungkook has a girl too. Jaehyun hands you the menu and tells you to pick whatever you like and he’ll order for you. What a gentleman, you think.

Y/N: Oh oh, beer and sprite.

Jaehyun: Interesting combo, never tried it.

Jungkook: Never to late to try new things.

He says that, while sipping from his glass, looking at you with hooded eyes.

Shit! Why are you doing that, Jungkook? I am weak! Stop with those eyes!!

You’re so happy when you mix your beer and sprite in your little glass and take a sip. The day got better and you feel like you can do this. Whenever you have your favorite stuff around, you feel more like home and it gives you confidence. Like your favorite drink, or food you like, or a song you love, or a doggo.

You’re pretty quiet, but that’s just you. You’re a die hard introvert and you take time to feel comfortable around new people. You’re happy thought that nobody says annoying stuff like “oh, you’re so quiet”, “You don’t talk?” and other shit strangers say to you when they first meet you. It annoys you to the Moon and back that some people are so unaware that not everyone is like them, extroverted, outgoing, super social, loud.

Sometimes, when you’re in a mood to put those types of people in their place, you fight back with “why are you so loud? Why do you talk so much?”. They get pissy, but you don’t care. You like your little bubble and you let only your people inside, the ones that care to understand.

You’ve had already 2 glasses of beer-sprite and a glass of strawberry soju. It’s sweet, you like this one. You feel a little social by this point, but still super shy to look at Jungkook. And what’s worse is that he’s just across the table, right in front of you. You need to look left or right to avoid his eyes. You only look his way when you’re sure he’s doing something and has his head turned away from you. But the alcohol is fucking with your eyes, so at some point and you think about admiring him a little more and you look. You look straight into his big eyes, because guess what. He was already looking at you. Good thing you’re sitting, because your knees become jelly. You do the unthinkable and for once in your life you don’t move your eyes. You keep them on him. And he keeps his eyes on you. What’s going on? Why is he looking at me? What do I do? Do I have something on my face? On god no, I must have something on my face, shit.

You must feel brave today, because you ask him:

Y/N: What’s wrong, do I have something on my face?

But you’re dead serious and while touching your face. He giggles

Jungkook: No no, you’re good. Sorry, I think I was starring too hard.

He takes another sip of his drink, while saying “cute” in a low voice, but you heard it and it made you blush. You felt like a big ball of lava right now. The Jungkook thinks you’re cute. The universe must be joking right now, making fun of you. Is this a dream? Have I hit my head one day and I’ve been in this dream since? When did your life become this? You were never a lucky person and it feels weird.

You observe Mingyu in the corner of your eye, kind of like trying to start a conversation with you. You don’t know much about him, you just know he’s Jungkook’s friend and he’s also in a band, but that’s about it. He starts to fiddle in his seat, you feel his eyes on you.

Hana: What’s with you, Mingyu? You seem a little agitated.

Mingyu: Oh, nothing. Just trying to hop into the conversation you’re having with your friend. I’ve heard something about going to a concert next week?

Hana: Yeah, I want to introduce Y/N to the kpop concert life, she hasn’t been to any so far and I think that’s wack.

Mingyu: You really must go, you’ll love it. What show you’re going to?

Hana: Ateez, we love them. You know I have a thing for Mingi.

You push her shoulder a little, knowing what she’s thinking right now, because you know your friend has a dirty mind.

Y/N: Girl, behave, not in front of my beer.

Mingyu: Oh, so who’s your Ateez bias then, Y/N?

Y/N: Yeosang. You answer shily.

Mingyu: Really now. And why is he your bias?

You feel Jungkook’s eyes on you and a rush of heat runs through your body.

Y/N: Well, I like his personality. He’s introverted and shy, has a great sense of humor, and he’s hot but at the same time really cute and adorable.

Mingyu nods like he’s in agreement, and then he’s asking the craziest question.

Mingyu: Who’s your bias in BTS?

You choke and you feel like you don’t know what words are. What’s speaking?

Y/N: I won’t tell you, since Jungkook is here. It feels weird

Mingyu: Oh, come oooon! Pleaaase?

Jungkook: Dude, it doesn’t matter. She’s right. I am here. Maybe you’ll find out another time when I’m not here.

Ugh, your savior. How can he be more perfect? He saved you when you were feeling awkward.

Mingyu: Damn, was just trying to make the night more interesting. Sorry, guys.

He says with a pout, the others teasing him. He seems like a big puppy. He’s so tall but so tiny at the same time.

The food is here. You let them order whatever they wanted, you had no idea what to choose. You just knew you don’t anything too spicy or weird. You can’t wait to eat, because you feel fucking hungry. You’re not something to shy away from eating, and even eating a lot. So you start with some soup, then some steak and all kind of grilled stuff. You just love Korean food, so tasty and filled with different flavors. You wish your best friend was here with you. You think to yourself that this is the happiest you’ve ever been. Eating delicious food and being in the same room with your ult bias. What could be better than this?

Well it could be better than this, but that’s another story, something you fantasize about when you’re alone.

Jungkook and Mingyu, seeing as you enjoy the food, the offer to help you with the meat. They put it on the grill and cook it for you, then put it on your plate.

Hana: Wow, guys, you’ve never done that for me. What’s this, now? Acting nice for the new girl?

Mingyu: She has been nice to us, you’re mean.

Jungkook starts to laugh, because he knows Hana always teases and bullies Mingyu. They all tease him and they do it because he never gets upset, he’s just that nice and soft for his friends and everyone loves him for that.

Mingyu, being the extroverted guy that he is, tries to find out more about you, so he goes crazy with the questions. He’s also had a few glasses, so you answer all his curiosities.

Mingyu: So, Y/N, tell me.

Y/N: Yes, Mingyu?

A pinch of pink appears on his cheeks, hearing his name on your lips, sounding so pretty.

Mingyu: Well, how did you end up in Seoul, why this city?

Y/N: Umm, long story, but to make it short, I have been a fan of Korean cinema, then started watching dramas too, then I thought I want to learn the language because it sounded so interesting. I already knew English pretty well, Spanish, and a little of French and german, so I wanted something different. Then stuff happened in my personal life and I needed a big change, so my boos from back home told me about this job opportunity in Seoul, since she knew I spoke the language already. I didn’t think about it, I just booked a flight and here I am.

Jungkook: Your Korean is really good, though and you know so many other languages, wow. You’re really smart.

Y/N: Oh, thank you.

Now you feel yourself blushing again, but what’s new.

Mingyu: Do you have a boyfriend?

You almost choked on your food. This man.

Hana: You have no shame today, Gyu.

Mingyu: Hey, we’re just getting to know each other here, we’re practically friends now. Right, Y/N?

Y/N: Umm, I guess?

Jungkook: So?

You look at Jungkook, trying to figure out what he’s trying to say. But all he does is lay back on his seat and manspread, with a grin on his face. You feel like going crazy. He knows what he’s doing. Does he know he’s my bias? Could he? Maybe he reads minds. Oh, I hope not!!!

Y/N: What?

Jungkook: Do you have a boyfriend?

Y/N: Oh!! I don’t, no.

Mingyu: Why not? If that’s not too much to ask.

Hana: Oh, this is going to be good.

She knows your life story and your history with guys and relationships, so she knows you have a lot to say about this.

Y/N: You really want to know? I can give a formal short answer or a genuine longer answer. Which one is it?

Jungkook: Long answer.

The whole room is now looking at you, curious about what you have to say. People are always curious about this type of stuff. You are too, you have to admit. And not in the Oh, I like gossip type of way, but you like to hear about other people’s love stories and why they didn’t work out.

Y/N: I don’t trust men. I used to. Big mistake, because whenever I put my trust in one, I would get disappointed again. My last relationship was a disaster. I felt used, like he came into my life, promised the world, then after he got what he needed, he left. I invested so much time, energy, feelings into it and all I got was emptiness. I tried dating a few times after that, but everything felt so shallow. Nobody with real good intentions. Everyone felt so fake, so I stopped everything. Why waste my time on people that don’t care about me? No. And you know what? Unless some guy shows up, really doing everything to show me he’s a real person with real feelings and not some stupid cardboard box, then I might consider giving him a chance. I’m just happier alone.

Hana: Mingyu wouldn’t know about that, he’s got a new girl every other month.

Everyone starts to giggle and you’re surprised but not really, because he’s a really attractive guy. And he seems to have it all.

Mingyu: Wow, you say such nice things about me, Hana. You’re just the best.

You laugh, you find him funny and charismatic. No wonder he’s getting so many girls.

Jungkook: Guys, come on, leave my man alone. He’s not that slutty. He’s just overly friendly and excited so he can give the wrong impression.

Mingyu gives a proud smile, hearing his bestie taking his side. Finally, someone takes his side, he thinks.

Y/N: But what about you guys, how hard is it to have a romantic life in your situation?

Mingyu pouts, Jungkook tilts his head and looks like he’s thinking, Jaehyun shrugs.

Eunwoo: In my case, all I can say is that it’s really difficult. You put your career on the line, but when you meet someone you really like, you can’t just ignore the feelings. You can’t live just for your work, you’re not a machine.

Mingyu: It fucking sucks, I barely have time for a romantic life. Things are getting really intense at work lately and I need to be there for me and for my members.

You look at Jungkook, who’s taking a soju shot, waiting for him to give a response too. You really want to know, it burns you to know.

He realizes you are waiting for him to say something, so he tries to change the subject.

Jungkook: Let’s do shots before we end this night?

And the hands you a glass of shot, you drink it, looking at him. He’s avoiding your eyes for the rest of the night and it’s not long until you all need to leave. The restaurant is closing, it’s past midnight and tomorrow it’s a work day. Shit, you have so much work to do tomorrow and here you are, a little drunk., wondering why Jungkook didn’t answer your question and why he didn’t look at you the rest of the time.

You all give your goodbyes and the guys are telling you how glad they are to have met you and that they will see you next time. You feel Jungkook’s eyes burning into your skull, and when you turn to him you catch him starring so you give him a little smile with a “goodnight”. He bows and smiles then turns and walks with Mingyu to the direction where a car is waiting for them.

You felt sadness. Sadness because this night was over, because you thought that you were weird and they didn’t like you. Shit, you met your bias of biases and you’re glad you didn’t shit yourself when he looked in your direction. You felt a little proud of yourself for not acting like a crazy fan. You always thought that if you met any of your favorite artists, you would just be quiet and act normal, trying to not make them feel uncomfortable. That’s what everyone should do, right?

You’re also trying really hard not to be too delulu right now, after meeting him. You can’t wait to tell your bestie about it, too bad she’s sleeping at this hour, must be really early in the morning there. Oh well, I’ll just take a shower and go to sleep. Who knows, maybe the universe is starting to like me and I will see him again.

Next morning you wake up all sweaty and worked up. You had a sex dream about Jungkook. Damn, it felt so real, wtf. Stupid brain, let me function today! You arrive at the office and you find Hana waiting at your desk, two cups of hot cocoa. She known you hate coffee, and what else could you drink on a cold march morning?

Hana: I figured you’ll be a little hungover, we had a lot to drink. Well, me. You were lightweight.

Y/N: Ugh, you’re a life saver. Thanks for the cocoa, I love it.

Hana: So what did you think?

Y/N: About last night?

Hana: Duh! Did you feel weird or it was fun? Want me to get a signed photocard from JK?

Y/N: Nooo, I would feel so embarrassed. But I really enjoyed it. They seem like normal people, though Jungkook is a little reserved. So mysterious, no?

Hana: Hm, maybe because you were there. He was a little more quiet last night though, but so were you. I could see you two being a couple.

Y/N: Omg, stop! I’m not that delulu, girl.

Hana: You never know.

49 notes · View notes

ghostchems · 1 year

Text

road rage - cardinal copia x female!reader

as copia's assistant, you've found a nonconventional way to keep your boss calm.

author's note: i have been working on this for like a MONTH. a week off and i am truly goin off the rails with fic writing before i start my new job. mdni! enjoy copia bein an angry stinker. 1.7k words. ao3 link.

You are clutching onto your seatbelt as Copia swerves the car, quickly getting over into a different lane. Something had crawled up his butt today. He is grumbling to himself, his long fingers wrapped tightly around the steering wheel, so tight that every time he slightly turned the wheel his leather gloves would squeak.

“Cardinal, the GPS says that’s our exit-“

“I know what I am doing, sorella!” He snaps, shooting an angry look in your direction. You sink back into the passenger seat, resting your hands in your lap.

Cardinal Copia had been a bundle of nerves since taking over the Ghost Project. The pressure and the power was starting to go to his head and there were some days where it was best to just steer clear from him.

Which was very difficult since you have been assigned to be his assistant. The hours were long and more often than not he was stressed over something. It had taken some getting used to but you managed. There were times when he was almost sweet, though. Almost sweet.

Your relationship with him was complicated, to say the very least. And on days like today, you wish it was approprIate for you to tell him to fucking relax but it wasn’t your place.

There were a few ways that you were able to help him relax without telling him to. It started off as just asking if maybe he would be interested in something like that and to your surprise, he did – he was very interested. The Cardinal kept to himself and didn’t seem to participate in the… extracurriculars that Papas typically did so you were genuinely surprised he said yes.

After a while, he started asking for it himself and then… he would reciprocate. He told you to keep it between the two of you, that it was your little secret, which was fine by you. That’s as far as the two of you had gotten, though. Nothing more than touching.

You snap out of your thoughts as you lurch forward in your seat, with Copia slamming on the breaks.

“FOTTUTO IDIOTA! Cazzo!” Copia’s fingers are pinched as he continues to curse in Italian at the driver in front of them. You are so close to the Abbey now and if you could just ignore him for the rest of the drive you’ll be able to return to your dorm and cool off for the rest of the night.

Or, Copia in his angry, heightened state, will make you stay with him and work late. Your gaze falls to him, taking in his pointed, frustrated features. His lips were pressed together in a thin line, his brows furrowed and his nose seemed a bit pointier than before.

Your hand falls to his thigh.

“Sorella, what are you-“ Your fingers slip inside his thigh to brush over his groin and he cuts himself off with a small groan. His grip on the steering wheel loosens and his posture relaxes, leaning back against the seat.

Your hand works deftly, stroking him through his already tight pants. Copia’s mouth falls open, a low whine spilling from his lips as he shifts even more in his seat. You can’t help but smirk to yourself, feeling a bit powerful with your ability to get him to shut up and relax. His cheeks are red now, teeth digging into his bottom lip.

The remaining ride back to the Abbey was incredibly smooth with no angry outbursts or vaguely Italian hand gestures, and no giving you any attitude. He was putty in your hands, too focused on how good you were making him feel to complain about getting cut off again or being stuck behind an insanely slow driver.

You make it to the Abbey in record time. Copia parks the car and you continue stroking him, giving him a squeeze through his pants. His legs tremble, a deep growl rumbling up from his chest as he clenches the steering wheel. You brush your hair out of your face and start to lean over the armrest but he stops you.

“Do you not want me to?” Your brows furrow and a small wave of panic shoots through you. Copia’s eyes narrow as he looks at you, his lips twitching into a sneer. Not a good sign. You pull your hand away from his lap and he catches it.

“Get in the back seat.” His voice is low and his eyes are dark. You swallow thickly, nodding slowly as you undo your seatbelt. The realization dawns on you that he’s parking pretty far away from the typical entrance to the Abbey. “Get in the back seat.” Copia repeats more sternly and you can hear the anger rising in his voice. You get out of the car and carefully shut the door behind you. You think about making a run for it but you know that will just make things worse, even though there were times Copia liked the chase.

You slide into the backseat and smooth out your pants as your heart thuds in your ears. Copia drums his fingers on the steering wheel and eyes you through the rearview mirror. He removes the keys and gets out of the car. His fingers glide across the outside of the car, slowly making his way to your side.

Copia pulls open the door and leans his head down into the car. “Look at me, sorella.” You immediately snap your gaze to him and his gloved hand takes you by the chin. He crashes his mouth against yours, his tongue pushing past your lips. You groan quietly, pleasantly surprised by him. Your hands move to his cheeks, cupping his face as you pull him in closer.

He uses his free hand to close the door behind him while he pushes you onto your back, settling between your legs. His hands roam your body, up and down your sides before cupping your breasts through your habit. You arch into the touch, huffing softly as you try to grind your hips against him.

“You are so good to me, sorella.” Copia hums against your lips, teeth grazing them ever so slightly. “Always helping me when I get too… eh, tense.” He pinches one of your nipples through your shirt and you give a soft whimper. His head ducks down to your neck, finding a particular spot to suck on hard enough to cause a bruise. “Such a good girl.” He purrs as your hands find his shoulders, nails digging into the fabric of his coat. “Do you want me, sorella?”

“Y-yes, yes I do, Cardinal.” You whine while he chuckles against your neck. Copia reaches for your hair and gives it a tug, his teeth scraping along your sensitive skin. He uses his other hand to hike up your habit, fingers playing with the hem of your underwear.

“You’ve wanted me ever since you became my assistant, si?” Copia whispers, bringing his lips up right to your ear. He rips your underwear off and you can’t help but yelp at the feeling. His fingers drag across your already slick folds before bringing his fingers up to his lips, sucking on them with a soft groan. “You taste so delicious.” Your hips snap again, desperately needing some kind of friction.

He pulls himself off of you, very narrowly avoiding hitting his head on the ceiling of the car. You’re panting already, all of the fear you had been feeling has completely gone and is replaced by how much you need him right now. His words have clouded your mind; you always forgot how good at it he was until it was too late and you were writhing and whining for him.

Copia reaches for his belt and slowly undoes it, pulling it from his pants. He gazes at it once it’s completely off, then turns his attention to you with a smirk. “Your hands, sorella.” Your cheeks flush as you hold out your hands to him and he loops the belt around them tight. “So good for your cardinal.” He hums and presses your bound hands above your head, then unzips his pants.

His cock is already leaking with precum and arousal, the head swollen purple. He lines himself up with your entrance, running the head of his cock through your slickness. You moan and try to press yourself further against him but he grips you by your hips to keep you in place. Copia slides into you slowly, hissing as he bottoms out and grinds his hips forward against you. The way you stretch around him has your back arching and your eyes fluttering open and shut. You’ve fantasized about how he might feel inside of you but it hardly compares to what you’re feeling now.

“Fuck, Cardinal.” You whimper, pressing your hips to his while feeling his cock throb inside you. Copia’s mouth drops open, a low growl rumbling up from his throat as he starts to thrust into you, starting off slow then growing quicker and harder. His one hand rests on your shoulder while the other moves to your throat.

Your eyes widen as he squeezes, a choked moan spilling from your lips as he snaps his hips even harder into you. You wrap your legs around his waist, heels digging into his back. Copia sinks even deeper inside of you, growling while you bring your hips up to meet his with every thrust. His pace starts to grow erratic, the fingers around your neck pressing firmly into it as he gazes into your eyes.

A snarl rips from his lips as he jerks recklessly into you, his hips stuttering when he reaches his orgasm. He thrusts shallowly into you and you feel him filling you up with his seed. Your chest thunders, his grip on your throat loosening until he pulls his hand away fully. Copia is staring down at you, lips still parted as he catches his breath.

“Such a good pet. You like being used by me, si?” He whispers, his fingers lightly caressing your cheek. You lean into his touch and nod, all that you can manage now. “Mmm. Good.” Copia smirks and tucks himself back into his pants. He leans over you and releases your hands from his belt, quickly putting it back on.

“Get yourself together, sorella.” Copia is out of the car before you can even think. “Meet me in my office. Our day is not over yet.” He gives you one last smirk before heading off to the Abbey. You’re left in the car, your habit still hiked up around your waist and his seed spilling out of you onto the seat.

Typical.

#papa emeritus x reader #cardinal copia x reader #cardinal copia #copia

346 notes · View notes

tempestswing · 6 months

Text

Ranking the Dark Council:

hi! I was writing some notes for a piece of SWTOR fiction I am working on, and decided to create this list as a fun way to share that information.

Dark Council Pre-Shadow of Revan:

12. Darth Aruk - we know nothing about this character, other than that they were head of the Sphere of Sith Philosophy. According to the Wiki, rooting out Revanites was supposed to be their job. What a failure, hopefully they still have a job after Shadow of Revan?

11. Darth Rictus - Also kind of a mystery, which is ironic since he was head of the Sphere of Mysteries. Rictus does appear in a novel called 'Annihilation', but that book is mostly about Theron Shan. All we really know about Rictus is that he's (A) old, (B) dislikes aliens, unless they're murderous enough, and (C) founded the Dread Executioners to take down the Dread Masters. Not enough information to rank any higher.

10. Darth Acharon - at least this guy appears in the game. He's kind of a nothing character though. He defended the imperial occupation of Corellia unsuccessfully. He was head of the Sphere of Biotics. Since he died on Corellia, he would presumably have been replaced by Shadow of Revan, but we don't know who by.

9. Darth Arkous - hate this guy, but he's still technically head of the Sphere of Military Offense after the Hutt Cartel plotline. God, what a bag of dicks he is though. The one good thing about this character is that he's technically Lana Beniko's master? Although she's an advisor rather than an apprentice, so he gets no credit for the existence of awesome Sith wife.

8. Darth Decimus - Also found in game on Corellia! Decimus is actually present in the imperial quests, so you get a lot more interaction with him than Acharon. Canonically, he also trained Krovos! Krovos is really cool, so decimus should get a few points by association. Not enough to bump him up the list though. For the head of Military Strategy, he's not a very good commander.

7. Darth Ravage - You can meet Ravage at the end of the Inquisitor and Warrior storylines, and for all imperials he is present during the cutscenes preceding the Emperor Malgus flashpoints (although does nothing to help?). The main reason I'm putting Ravage so low is that he's a little bit inconsistently written. He'll gladly say "good riddance" to Darth Thanaton's death in the inquisitor plotline, but if you kill Baras in the Warrior plotline, he'll show up at Nathema and be all offended that you claimed power by murdering your master... does he know what a Sith is?

6. Darth Mortis - I have a bit of a soft spot for Mortis. He's got a no-nonsense demeanour which is rare amongst Sith, and he's clearly serious enough about their philosophy to join a secret conspiracy against the alliance if you "squander" the power of the Eternal Throne - a petty move, this man is a bitch after my own heart. He also is the one who snaps Darth Thanaton's silly little neck, which definitely earns him a few points in my eyes. As a point, he's involved in the Macrobinocular missions, which I did not enjoy, but he was a highlight of the questline.

5. Darth Acina - WOMEN IN POWER!!! Empress Acina is better than Emperor Vitiate. Unfortunately Acina is kind of bland, I really don't feel strongly about her either way. I've killed her on Iokath in most of my playthroughs, even if I don't intend to defect to the republic later. I might be lesbian but I just don't like her that much. Her reforms to the Empire are interesting though, I do have to give her credit for making the Empire slightly less racist and Sith dominated.

4. Darth Vowrawn - Silly guy!! This man is genuinely quite funny. He's a blast to spend time with at the end of the Warrior story, after dealing with Baras' grumpy ass for close to fifty levels. His choice to help the Wrath with the Hand on Rishi says... something. He's genuinely an interesting character to me, especially since he maintains that joviality when he becomes Emperor. It's tempered, to be sure, but I think it does show it wasn't entirely an act. Vowrawn could be a genuine friend to the Wrath.

3. Darth Jadus - Sue me, I like unapologetically evil characters. Jadus is not just an evil clown, he's an evil circus. Schemer to the core and melodramatic as fuck. I chose to serve him without a second thought in my agent playthrough. I appreciated the name drop on Iokath and I have 1% chance 99% cope that he will return at some point in the story.

2. Darth Occlus/Nox/Imperius - OCs are fun. No further notes. I should probably drop the lore for my verison of this character, huh... maybe in another post.

Darth Marr - Everyone's favourite tired Dad just trying to keep his society from collapsing as his colleagues bicker about inane bullshit. I reckon he drinks coffee straight outta the pot in the Dark Council's break room. I really wish he hadn't died, but his force ghost shenanigans were neat and I liked seeing him find a measure of redemption. Again, I am on a high dose of copium but if Malgus can return after being killed and abandonded on an exploding space station why can't someone scrape Marr off the floor of Zakuul and rebuild him. I do also low-key ship Marr with Satele Shan?

anyway, that's my totally subjective ranking of Dark Council members.

#swtor #Dark Council #Sith #sith warrior #sith inquisitor #darth mortis #darth Marr #darth acharon #darth acina #darth decimus #darth arkous #darth jadus #darth ravage

32 notes · View notes

shostakobitchh · 6 months

Note

finally admitted to myself that ok maybe i doooo ship snily 🙄 the thing is that i cannot find fics… i mean i *can* but there’s too many and i don’t know where to start……. so this is me asking for recommendations from the only jily shipper i know of (i’m not in the fandom a lot lol). i think it would be cool to read about them getting together as adults or something where snape is a little bi (turns out i also ship snape and sirius…. whatever ok!!!) but truly anything you have i’m accepting hehe i trust you! thank you bye!!! ps; i miss a&i aka the fic that i love so much and that i shamelessly recommend to literally everyone i know xxxxx

hi!

I'm gonna be real with you; there is very little Snily and even fewer stories I've found that do them both justice. I find that many make Lily a damsel in distress with like, her only driving motive to be a mother, and James is ALWAYS a POS. And Snape becomes an alpha male who is too controlling and it just skeeves me out. Lily loses all autonomy the second they do the deed and it's just not my thing. Even with the few Snape/OC fics I've read; if Snape is not like feral and nasty and with someone who can match that energy, I have no interest in it.

I have two major stories that come to mind with A+++ Snily. I have discovered recently that I am somewhat of a Snape Snob when it comes to fics where I only enjoy it if he is an unhinged, bitter little asshole who is a little nuts and Lily is like, the only one who can stomach him and keep him somewhat calm, but she can absolutely match his level of crazy if/when she needs to.

Come Once Again and Love Me - laventadorn

I read this nearly a decade ago and I haven't picked it up again because it just breaks my heart and puts it back together. It's a "Snape gets a do-over" but he does NOT want the do-over - he doesn't want anything to do with Lily at all at first - but the author does such a beautiful job of showing Snape as a bitter 30-something-year-old back as a teen just as his life took a dark turn. And Lily is AMAZING - her grief over losing her life old life (when she thinks of Harry it's gutting) but finding Snape again is just - UGH. She doesn't put up with his shit. She matches him and doesn't back down. She's awesome. A true queen.

A Dream Carved in Stone - diadelphous

I forgot about this one for a long time and recently reread it - I think I accidentally took inspiration from it with a certain potion LOL so I am giving full credit here - BUT - THIS is the best Snily I have ever read. It's during the first war where Lily and James never got together and Dumbledore approaches Lily and asks her to get Snape to confess he's a Death Eater. Their love story is - SO. FUCKING. GOOD.

They are both a little broken and a little crazy, but when people ask me how it would've gone down if Snape had known about Lily being pregnant, THIS story is how it would've gone down. When he's Soft with Lily it's so natural, it's so tender and raw and I die a little. Also, his reaction when Lily says she's pregnant is 10/10. It makes me laugh and cry every time.

I'm sorry I don't have more but I genuinely don't know of any others (at least that I like). I love this pairing so much LOL it makes me so sad there's nothing out there.

#sam speaks #fic recs #snily #I know WHY its unpopular its more of like #there is so much potential #if snape had just like pulled his head of of his ass #for like a minute

23 notes · View notes

excelsior9173 · 6 days

Text

…

this is… a tough one. idk. it feels bad but i’m also at the point where it’s like, it is what it is, y’know?

my sister and i are very much the black sheep in the family as far as my dad’s side is concerned

and i think the worst part of that is that we didn’t do anything but be ourselves- dad’s family takes the fact that they never liked our mom out on us kids. we’re too much like her.

for me at least it’s always been subtle. i wasn’t always a problem, or undesirable. my sister had always had it harder, i gradually fell out of favour with them. i feel so distant when i visit, i’m close with my one cousin and that’s about it. everyone else sort of feel like strangers at this point. they’re getting bolder with their distaste too- try to veil it behind humour but it’s starting to get pretty blatant

i knew they’d poke fun at my colourful hair and facial piercing and i knew they’d hate it when i got tattoos (shocker- my grandma can barely bring herself to look at my ink) but the comments have gotten more blunt. convinced my cousin to get matching tattoos with me, she loves it and is planning more! my uncle has “jokingly” lectured me/confronted me about it three times now. like he’s trying to play it cool but is pissed that i have “corrupted” his precious daughter i think. he’s a control freak and i took that control away my grandma straight up flinched when i walked out of a camp bathroom in shorts and said “i’ll never get used to those tattoos”. like thanks, grandma, but i didn’t get them for you to enjoy them. all that shit is kind of water off a ducks back now, i expected those reactions, i was prepared for them. i don’t really care it’s honestly rather entertaining to me to see how much they’ll tie themselves in knots over choices i make for my own body.

the part that really made me realize i was falling out of favour as opposed to my cousin who can do no wrong in their eyes (i don’t hold it against her, i love her dearly and she was the closest thing i had to a sister growing up- until my sis transitioned) was my university convocation.

my cousin convocated last year, and i convocated in june. it was a whole big thing for my cousin! everyone came to see, we all took pictures with her, went out for a nice meal and had champagne to celebrate. my convocation? idk the family all came, we took a few pictures, went out and had lunch. they gave me their gifts and then everyone left- they had other plans to get to. i just- it felt like there was a lot less fanfare and celebration around it all. it was all “good job exie, but your cousin did it first and she has a grown up job related to her degree so 🤷‍♀️” they all ask my cousin how work is going, they ask her questions related to her degree, all that stuff. i get none of the same treatment. occasionally i’ll get asked something psych-related, but it always feels like they’re asking for the sake of being able to make a point. like i’m just a research engine and there’s no interest in my education. i genuinely wonder if any of them will even care once i get my next degree. it’s the same thing with holiday/birthday gifts. i feel like there’s thought and intent when they get gifts for my cousin, and for my sibling and i it’s just… random shit. the worst part is that my dad and aunt have asked for wishlists. my dad makes an attempt- his gifts are always thoughtful, last year he got me a heated sweater because i do dog walks in very cold weather. but the rest of his family? i got a mug and some froofy soaps and some kitschy novelty booze glasses (i have maybe a drink a month. except for new years and august long). even after they ask for a list :) i think i have become a stranger to them. my interests are so foreign and uncomfortable that they won’t even make an attempt at this point.

i kind of thought it would hurt more. realizing that i am not loved to the same extent as my cousin. that my sister, if they knew the truth, would be loved even less than i am now. but it doesn’t. i feel kind of numb to it. like i guess i knew this was inevitable. i would never be the perfect niece/grandkid. and i’m not saying it doesn’t hurt- it does, but it’s sort of like a long, old ache. it’s been hurting so gradually for so long that it’s sort of just a part of me. it doesn’t feel as bad as it is because i’m used to it. and that sucks to say. but it is what it is. i am not going to compromise any part of myself to earn the approval of people who can’t be bothered to even attempt to understand.

there’s more i wanted to say, or perhaps i wanted to say this all differently. idk. but that’s my rant tonight lol. family is great but it also fucking sucks.

#exie vents #family issues #family is fucking hard #i love them. i do. but it feels rather detached #why invest my love into people who will never fully appreciate who i am?#this vent is really really long wow. too much to say and very little substance i think #honestly at this point i’m happiest with my mom my dad and my sister. i don’t need much else for family #i’m done trying to contort myself to fit in the box they want me in.#our mom tried so hard to keep her conflict with them away from us kids #she played nice for our sake. but it never fucking mattered #we are still her kids. and that’s sin enough for them #how dare we be raised to believe in bodily autonomy and freedom of expression

7 notes · View notes

humannish · 8 days

Text

nulluther concept/oneshot

this is nulluther oc x canon so if u care then go ahead and keep reading lol.

upon getting to know each other, luther and no name have a chat. luther praises null for their intellgence and resilience and makes a comment on how cute their ears and tail react when he complimented them. null doesnt know how to take complments or praise very well and isnt used to being called cute, but of course this is different cause its Luther and they like him. null, being their honest self, start to reveal by accident they are at least attracted to him through subtle hints in their behavior (like starting to blush more, fidget, avert eyes, stammer) and things they say like "i trust you" "youre genuine" "i only am able to talk more with people i am interested in". luther picks up on this, of course, exceptionally flattered and boosted ego, but plays dumb to get more information out of [null]. null catches on that they may have accidentally outed themself, making a face of pure regret and looking at him swiftly like they just broke his favorite vase or something, hoping he didn't notice. they both go back and forth playing dumb. Luther is pretty sure null has a crush on him, and makes comments about how adorable they look all nervous and flustered and like they are about to explode just to mess with them cause lets be honest he would be enjoying this. this doesnt make null's redness any better, and they clam up more unable to speak so their response is they try to look cool and distant, but they arent successful cause they are littlerally stiff and so red ( i have this issue irl i blush alot when i like someone and its so noticeable and it sucks). Null starts to cave in, realizing they cant hide it anymore and says this, trying not be be too direct, " Im fond of you. I trust you You feel different from people Ive met". Luther asks them what they meant by "fond of him" and null says they don't know why they even said that their brain just said to say it. null genuinely thinks they are doing a good job at hiding it and acting nonchalant but luther wasn't born yesterday. so he decides to pull A Luther and gently grabs their face to make them look at him, suprising the fuck out of null, and says something along the lines of "Youre a terrible liar. You know what you meant by that, dont lie to me. If your brain thought of saying that, that means you subsonsciously want to say it. I believe you actually meant you have a little crush on me." null's brain literally becomes mush in this moment.

Null explodes and dies

The end.

Thanks for letting me cook and putting up with my terrible storytelling and writing skills.

#ranfren #randals friends #luther ivory #luther von ivory #ranfren oc #oc x canon #cute

8 notes · View notes

wfagamerants · 3 months

Text

With my Jamboree hype still in full force, I decided to revisit both previous Switch Mario Parties as a refresher, with some 3, 6, Star Rush and Top 100 on the side to help with some things I wanted to compare.

Mario Party is one of my favorite series in anything and I have been vocal about my relationship with the Switch games being rocky. I was curious to see if the benefit of hindsight changed my views on them.

The answer is one No and one Yes, with some no sprinkled in.

Super Mario Party

This is the big one for me.

From the Hudson games, to the first five NDCube titles, I unironically enjoyed every previous entry, as is well known with all the cheerleading I do for 10 and Star Rush in particular and even Island Tour has some good stuff well worth experiencing.

With all that in mind, it probably comes as a surprise THIS is the one Mario Party I genuinely can’t stand and a revisit did not change my mind one bit.

Not like I didn’t try either, even with my enjoyment of the other NDCube games, of course I was excited to see the old formula back, but that only means so much when it doesn’t do it well and that’s what I really do think is the case here.

Going point by point, as I like to do, I wanna start with one thing I do find praiseworthy…despite not liking it that much, the character roster.

Mario Party usually doesn’t have much going on in terms big roster numbers, so to see one push so far is genuinely refreshing and they did need to put work into it, given the amount of characters that needed to be updated (Hammer Bro and Dry Bones) or never had a playable MP outing period (Pom Pom, Goomba, Monty) not even mentioning all examples here, that stuff is commendable.

I’m just personally not that big on the selection. Losing the Toads really hurts and I am generally more in favor of less mook centric rosters, even if I like all the ones on offer. Pom Pom to me, even as someone who loves the boss characters like the Koopalings, King Boo, Petey, King Bob-omb, etc, is just a really lame and unappealing character, no better than Boom Boom who at least had Strikers to make me warm up to him.

Bowser being playable is also iffy for me. I love the big guy, but taking him out of his usual role has some very drastic consequences in function and flavor, which I am very happy Jamboree is addressing, to give us the best of both worlds, but more on that later.

Objectively, this is a good roster, it’s just very not for me.

Another thing I find praiseworthy and do enjoy is the hub. Dropping regular main menus in favor of an interactive hub where you can walk around and chat with characters is a cute concept I want to return.

Once we get to the actual board gameplay though, the cracks start to show right away.

Everyone already complained about it, even when the game was new and generally praised, but yeah. 4 boards is an absolutely abysmal number and that could at least be salvageable if they were all good and fun to play on but….you already know where this is going.

I will say, I do love the themes. As much as I think the previous games did more with the NSMB tropes than they are given credit for, it’s great to go back to something more original again. They are cool themes, they are visually great, that stuff all works out.

Too bad they’re really bad boards.

It’s been talked about to death, but yeah, the boards are incredibly tiny and small boards don’t even need to be bad. DS had smaller boards and did such a good job with them you barely felt it, on top of to me, being a Top 5 Mario Party.

Not only are Super’s boards even smaller than the ones for the game that HAD to scale them back, but they are also very linear, with little in the way of interesting gimmicks or alternate routes.

You can call most MP boards, aside from deliberately linear ones like Pagoda Peak, basically big circles or squares. That’s fine, they are BOARDS after all, it’s more what you can do on them that matters and makes you not even notice that.

King Bob-omb’s Powderkeg mine feels like the closest to an aversion to this and even it just amounts to choosing either the smaller circle or the larger circle, to run in circles in. There is simply nothing interesting going on and the events are too basic and lame to distract from it.

What doesn’t help is that Super made some changes to fundamental aspects of MP we take for granted and it really says a lot about how well thought out those elements were.

For one thing, the Dice has been reduced from a 1-10 to a 1-6. This was already a thing in 9 and 10, but in those games you were all in the same vehicle and progressed together, it was way more about wanting the best result out of your current situation. In Super, being a classic style MP again, it just makes progression feel fundamentally more sluggish, since cutting down the dice numbers so hard means you will go by nature, much slower and the odds of barely going anywhere are way higher.

There is also just the general lack of truly threatening obstacles on the boards. This especially shows with Bowser being playable. Gimmicks like him being on the board like MP1 and MP4’s Bowser’s Gnarly Party are off the table, as is him having his own board or game specific ideas like Bowser Time in MP7. Instead of Bowser Spaces we now have Bad Luck spaces.

They Suck. Really hard.

The penalties are just not threatening and the game feels rigged to prioritize the tamest one. The coin penalties barely hurt, losing an item is really not that big a deal here, the star moving is rarely anything but a non-punishment, etc. They do get a bit more punishing during the last 3 turns, but not only does that window give them little time to come into play, but even losing a star is less of a big deal than it would usually be, for one particular reason.

The economy in SMP is totally out of whack.

Now second and third place also get coin rewards in minigames, which WAS a thing in 9 and 10 as well, but in those games that had more of a purpose, given the much more limited control during board play for everyone. In a classic Mario Party though, this already has implications and it only gets worse with other elements thrown in.

It just doesn’t feel that rewarding to be good at minigames, because even if you play well, you may not even build up much of a lead, with Hidden Blocks, Hidden Block items and Lucky Spaces that can give coin rewards in abundance and ALL that is combined with how little everything costs.

Stars cost only 10 coins and combined with how small the boards are, getting to one rarely feels like a hassle. Even stealing a star only costs 30 coins and items are remarkably cheap and that’s on top of there being so few events that really threaten your coin count. King Bob-omb is really the only one that makes a real attempt there.

All of that results in really dull board play. More than ever the game really is all about the dice roll, with nothing from the board layout, to events, to the items, doing anything interesting to let you strategize or anything like that.

There’s also the small annoyance of them finding it necessary to give you needless tutorials and tips, like when you open the map or getting an item for the first time, which you can’t disable.

On a final note for the board play are the allies and ally spaces, as well as custom dice, all taken from Star Rush. A lot of people dislike them, but I do find their implementation to be the most interesting thing on SMP’s boards. Supremely unbalanced, it needs another pass there, but I can see interesting potential for it in a MP with boards of more substance.

There is also Partner Party, which is essentially the Star Rush mode of the game and as Star Rush fan, I should love it.

Eh.

I appreciate the thought, but you can’t do free for alls, There are way fewer opportunities to get and especially steal allies and the boards continue to be void of anything interesting. Even just playing the 4 boards it had once each, with the minimum Turn count of 10, felt like a slog.

Then there are the minigames, which I often see praise for and honestly, they’re okay enough, but I do find the overall selection pretty meh.

It has genuine highlights, Slaperazi, Croozin’ For A Broozin’, Don’t Wake Wiggler and Fuzzy Flight School all being ones I really like for instance and I don’t hate the motion controls, I think they work fine.

It’s really not so much that there are a lot of bad minigames and more that it misses types I really like. There are no platforming minigames, no brawling minigames where you just punch and kick other players off of a platform, only one mashing minigame, etc. That’s on top of the fact that I feel a lot of the rumble minigames are really samey. There are like three separate minigames where you use the rumble to select the biggest/most of the thing you are meant to get.

There is also a general major sense of reduced player interactivity that plays into this and the most blatant example of it for me is comparing Hammer Drop from Mario Party 1 (and Superstars) to Super’s very own Lightning Round.

They are very similar coin minigames, but there is a major difference that sets them apart. While the hammers and lightning strikes both aren’t much of a threat, Hammer Drop lets you jump to swipe the incoming coins and coin bags, even jumping on opponents and hindering them or even ground pound opponents to hold them back. In Lightning Round, that interactive element doesn’t exist and everyone is just slowly running to the coins, while dodging total non-obstacles.

That example sums up a lot of why I find SMP’s minigame selection to be just not as interesting as the rest of the series and it also contributes to a stylistic difference I am not fond of at all.

I always loved Mario Party for being a more zany kind of Mario game, putting the characters in all kinds of wacky scenarios and to be fair, Super isn’t FULLY devoid of it. It’s still a rare time you see, say, Peach, helplessly chased by a giant Wiggler or Broozer army entirely as a gag at her expense one moment and then the next she pilots a big Sidestepper mech to whack Bowser with hammers with. That stuff is just awesome.

Super just has very little of it, due to the lack of interesting board gimmicks and action-heavy minigames and even what is there is heavily scaled back. Like characters just go into their dizzy animations when a Bob-omb blows up on them, rather than flying off-screen and said Sidestepper mech minigame just flings the characters away with a generic flail the game uses for almost every single negative event, as opposed to the other MPs which will just totally crush the character.

Is it pure flavor? Yeah, but I like flavor, flavor is good. MP just has a particular personality to it that Super doesn’t capture. It has plenty of personality in other areas, but it is missing a particular aspect I thought helped make the games really energetic, competitive and cartoonishly charming. It’s as if Mario took a page out of Wario’s playbook to be more wacky and I miss that.

Having said all that, one area the game does quite well in are the side modes. Champions Road is a perfectly functional ‘’Play all the Minigames’’ mode and Toad’s Rec Room hosts some minigames I honestly wish had regular play counterparts.

River Survival is decent, not something you can go back to much, but it’s a neat concept that at its hardest, does offer a challenge and its own minigames are pretty enjoyable for the most part.

Sound Stage meanwhile is the big star of Super as a whole for me. I love the rhythm minigame approach, there is a great energy to it, it’s got some lovely charm with all the dance animations for the cast (Waluigi’s moonwalk being the best, just sayin’), it’s just a good time. At most I wish I found the music more catchy, but it does its job at being fun to play along with.

I didn’t mean to be as negative as this likely came across, but it is just how it is. While it has some content I really like and ideas I think have potential, SMP on the whole I just do not like at all. It brought back the classic formula, while totally butchering it and it’s just all around lacking in so many things I like about the series. I went back to it to see if time and benefit of hindsight changed my mind and sadly no, if anything I have only grown to dislike it more.

Mario Party Superstars

By contrast, Superstars won me over on several things I was iffy on. I still have my gripes, but overall, I was pleasantly surprised.

One not pleasant surprise since the game came out, to start similarly to the Super section, is the roster. It’s small, it’s lame, we all know that. Of course character choice rarely affects anything in MP, but as I said, flavor is good and besides: When a series makes this much money and makes so heavy use of reused models, animations and voice clips across games, I do expect it to at least be able to compete with games that came out in the 2000s in terms of content in all places.

Speaking of which, this game is a bit funny to evaluate because it is all remakes of older content, but there is still plenty to talk about.

First there are the boards, five in total. Only one more than Super in terms of quantity, but they are all so much better than all of Super’s boards combined that they may as well be four boards more than Super had. That said a 6th board would have been appreciated, ideally they wouldn’t have just a N64 focus, but if they really wanna then at least give 3 a second board.

The board selection itself is quite pleasing. It has Horror Land so that alone is already a slam dunk, but there is a good quality level all around. The lack of a proper finale board is felt and I would have rather had a second MP3 board than two from MP1, simply because the former has much more interesting board design, but as it is, it’s fine.

Peach’s Birthday Cake made me roll my eyes when I saw it, but it turned out to be the most pleasant surprise of the whole game. The addition of items, a shortcut ramp and Bowser also doubling as a short-cut, if with a penalty, along with the lottery being moved, makes getting around and actually getting stars is far smoother and quicker. This also makes star stealing Piranha Plants far more of a threat, since there actually is something to steal now and that’s on top of there also being coin stealing Piranha Plants now.

This game turned what I thought was easily the worst Hudson era board and turned it into my second favorite one in this game. I am still stunned to this day and the improvements made to it show some really smart thinking that makes me optimistic for Jamboree’s new original boards.

The other boards haven’t seen any major changes and that’s perfectly fine. Playing Yoshi’s Tropical Island with items is a fun new experience though.

The actual board play has improved a lot, on top of playing on actually good boards, the coin distribution after minigames has been reworked to give the winner 10 coins again instead of only 8, with second and third only getting 2 and 3 respectively, making minigame wins far more of a benefit to build up a lead again. Stars are also back to the usual 20 coins and Bowser is back and as punishing as his spaces always are, so seeing harsh loses through that and the returning Chance Time brings back a ton of value to coins and stars that they largely lost in Super.

One new addition that’s consistent across all boards is Lucky Spaces, functioning the same as in Super. The coin and item rewards you get from those can be really extreme and coupled with how many of these spaces there are, it gives the game a pretty chaotic feeling at times. For this particular game, I’m cool with it for this game, but ideally future games cool it a bit with these things.

There are also some nice QoL additions that once again, give me a lot of confidence for Jamboree. The generally increased game speed is a plus. Getting to choose between random Bonus Stars and the classic three is a feature that always should have been there. Getting to save up to 8 sessions, even online ones, is incredible and having the option to speed up board event scenes is a godsend for ones you may see many times in a row.

So yeah, the board game portion to me is a total hit in this game. The minigames are where I get more mixed. Not counting item minigames there are 100 in total and over half of those were already in Top 100. Not a bad thing by itself, but it does make some choices made bother me even more. Also not a fan of the N64 focus on the minigames as well, since it not only throws out a lot of good minigames, but it also screws over the GameCube and Wii & Wii U minigame packs, which would have been really cool options with a bigger selection.

Despite the latter gripe, I think the selection is….okay. It has it’s winners, particularly Hot Rope Jump and Dungeon Duos, but also some really notable stinkers like Spin Doctor, which wasn’t even in Top 100, so they deliberately picked that over something like Camp Ukiki or Apes of Wrath from the same game, genuinely bewildering. Duel Minigames in general really got the short end of the stick with only 5 in total and of all things, they pick stuff like Spin Doctor (which is at least okay) or Mass Meteor (one of MP6’s few stinkers).

Top 100 wasn’t perfect in that regard either, but I found its overall selection way more consistently solid and satisfying.That and bringing back certain minigames a third time just baffles me. Piranha’s Pursuit is a really bad minigame in all its incarnations, that can way too easily turn into a free win for the one player. It was a weird choice in Top 100, but bringing it back again in Superstars, without any changes for the better, really pushes it.

It’s still largely a good selection, it’s just easy to see the cracks when you have older versions to compare these games to and some did get butchered a bit. Tidal Toss’ hitboxes for the biggest waves not matching the visuals in particular being a NASTY example.

The characters also make far more grunts in many of the minigames and...yeah they can get pretty insufferable, especially with how small the pool of voice clips in this game is, compared to say, MP10, which had two minutes worth of clips for everyone.

There is also a case where the game still feels like holds back on bit on Mario Party’s old personality, with alterations to some minigames, for some examples:

You don’t see losing players bounce away in the lava anymore in Bumper Balls, they just vanish.

Several minigames replace more distinct damage poses with the generic flail, even if the more appropriate animation is elsewhere in Superstars.

The characters just lamely fall off the record in Dizzy Dancing, instead of crashing into the walls.

Squared Away lost it’s ending animation, which was already a thing in Top 100, the only time it took something like that away, but that had an excuse due to it using a generic minigame results screen like the other NDCube games did before.

Even taking the slapstick aside, replaying 3 in particular really revealed how many small things got cut for more generic animations. Hide and Sneak in particular has the characters just all do a heads down ducking pose, as opposed to the original where everyone had a distinct one, like DK adjusting his tie or Mario lying down.

Again, all this is flavor, but it sticks out even more when you are remaking content and if the roster is gonna be that small, going the extra mile on a few things would be appreciated.

It feels weird too, because the game oozes personality in so many other areas.

The title screens are all lovely.

The board ending pics and loser elimination sequences at the end of a round are very classic Mario Party.

The way characters literally pull out maps when you study the board map is amazing.

The dismayed reactions everyone has when landing on a Bowser space are great.

The Stickers are a fun evolution of taunts that can express way more.

Really, the game is full of great personality, it’s just in the minigames where some of the old charm they had gets weirdly sanded off.

Lastly there is online which is as functional as one could hope for. Has its hick-ups, but for Nintendo standards it’s fine. It’s not a disaster ala’ Mario Maker 2.

All nitpicking aside, this is a good game and a good Mario Party. I don’t think it’s one of the best ones, but the QoL additions and generally really solid board gameplay show the potential for it is there.

More than anything it feels like a testing ground to study the old board designs and test out things like the online, rather than something meant to be big on its own. I didn’t even touch on side content because there really is nothing to discuss.

Good game, but I was waiting for the next big thing and now it’s finally happening.

Super Mario Jamboree

My thoughts back here still apply and are very up to date, since we haven’t seen anything new since:

Playing the other two games again just really put into perspective how many things already got improved from one game to the next and it makes me all the more hopeful for Jamboree.

I have no doubt it will be the MP I have been waiting for all gen and I couldn’t be more excited~

#mario party

17 notes · View notes

mokutone · 2 years

Note

hi what do you think abt t4t kakayama (it's canon to me tbh)

:) hi ty for the question. i will do two sweet pictures of them being intimate and then under the cut there's going to be a longer very unsweet and more technical response

so i'm usually not a very shippy person! but that said i am also on the record as an occasional kakayama + kakayamagai enjoyer

i do hc them both as trans and in different ways w/ different experiences of transition and identity! i have no interest in proving my view as canon, but i do regard my reading of the text (text here including the anime) as a valid interpretation of yamato's experience of identity

yamato, for example, imo, doesnt have any real lived experience of being raised as a child of any gender. he was an experimental subject, and then he was Danzō's weapon/vessel for the mokuton, and then he was in anbu.

in a fun little word game which should not be taken seriously: it'd almost be more fitting to describe him as "adgender" rather than "transgender" since the prefix "trans" implies moving across where the prefix "cis" means to stand still, but the prefix "ad" means "to move towards" and i headcanon him as somebody who was degendered as a child, not in a cool nonbinary way, but instead in a dehumanizing, objectifying way, so his experience of creating his identity and his gender along with it is one of moving toward the concept of gender this word doesn't and wont exist, but bc of the way english works it would probably be simplified to be spelled precisely the same as "agender" in the same way that "aggression" came from latin "aggredi" which came from "ad" (meaning to/toward) and and latin "gradus" (meaning step) (essentially the combination means "to step to" [in a threatening manner]) the only diferences is where agender (meaning no gender) is pronounced ay-gender, the agender that comes from adgender would be prounounced more like "uhgender" in the same way that agressive isnt pronounced like "ay-gressive" but instead like "uhgressive"

and then...as for kakashi? i just decided on vibes. i didn't think hard about it.

i guess i should also say that, while i draw kakayama very infrequently, when i do draw it i usually try to be very apparent about the transness in the artwork if i can? especially if i'm drawing anything more intimate than a peck on the cheek. it's no secret that shipping is often times the most energized part of fandom, and i kind of don't want to produce romantic or sexual artwork which will be enjoyed by people who don't think trans people can be attractive? or who find that trans headcanons make a character uninteresting to them? or worse, "ruin" a depiction of a character to them?

often i think about in terms of. IF there are people that follow me that love my work (usually) and think that kakashi or yamato are hot (usually) and love kakayama (usually) but get frustrated or even uncomfortable out when i draw them as explicitly trans? then i'm drawing all intimate artwork of them as explicitly trans.

it's a little like...nobody gets to love my work if transgender characters are a turnoff for them. that's the bar for entry, is the way i think of it, but really its more like putting onions in a dish. if you want to eat the dish you have to eat the onions. if you don't want to eat the onions, don't eat the dish. all the meals i make contain onions. i'll never compromise on my intention to put onions in every dish i make. that's my ninja way, as the kids say.

especially in the climate we're in right now.

i don't know. i have a lot of feelings about how most fandoms tend to view trans men, especially in terms of romantic and sexual relationships. I'm doing a bad job of expressing the depth of how much seeing how fandom treats trans male identity and transmasculine bodies impacts the way that i draw + write kakayama, but genuinely it's something i think about every single time i create content about them.

#yamswers #danova #often even when there r trans characters/trans hcs of characters the m/m pairings are usually trans + cis #+ i wanna emphasize: there's nothing wrong with that. trans+cis relationships are as beautiful and valid as t4t #but...in fiction...there's like. expectations. of how a trans guy will act in a relationship with a cis guy #literally every transmasc person knows exactly what im fucking talking about lol #i'm trying to keep this conversation PG bc naruto is not an adult show—so. anyway #the presence of t4t depictions is basically essential in offering an alternative image of relationships + intimacy for trans individuals #a view of trans bodies which is not designed for the pleasure of cis consumption+assumption #a view of trans bodies not couched in an artist statement saying ''this is a trans body. this is how you interact with a body like it.''#sometimes even stuff made by trans people will cater to explaining transness to cis people + thats fine and okay and—#—can be cathartic to create. esp as a trans person since so many of us are Surrounded by cis people irl #but. as a singular consumer. i get tired of that. i don't want it—at least not in the way that fandom frequently produces #i'm sorry this was probably an ask that expected a reply full of trans love and just got a bunch of technical stuff back #but to be fair this IS how i feel about t4t kakayama

162 notes · View notes

marmorafarms · 5 months

Text

The Hazards of Love Ch 3

I have a bonus chapter for you all! I ended up getting super inspired, and decided to split the chapter into two instead of doing one huge chapter. I hope you enjoy!

The song mentioned in this chapter is a real song! It's one of my favorites, and is called Kun Anta, by Humood AlKhudher! I translated the bits I put in as best I could, but I might not have done the best job ever, so sorry to y'all who are more fluent in Arabic than I am!

Pairing: Labru

Word Count: 2098

Chapter Rating: Teen+

You can read it down below or on ao3!

THEN:

Ever since the concert with Laios, the two had become almost inseparable. It was hard to find one without the other, both men seeming to genuinely love being around each other. Even though Laios was a little odd, Kabru found that he really didn’t mind that much. He might be different, but he was passionate about his interests, and it softened Kabru’s heart to hear him talk about his two passions—exotic animals, and cooking.

“You know, I’d love to cook something with you sometime!” Laios said one day, seemingly out of the blue. The two were studying in the library, Laios looking over his notes for creative writing, and Kabru working on some math.

“What?” Kabru asked, confused. They hadn’t even been talking about food, so he wasn’t really sure what had brought this on.

“We should cook,” Laios said. “I think you should meet my friend Senshi, he’s a cooking instructor, and can make an amazing meal out of anything! I was just thinking, I want you to meet my friends. I’ve met yours, so you should meet mine!”

Kabru winced, thinking about Laios’ introduction to Rin. She had been ice cold, but either Laios hadn’t noticed or simply didn’t care.

“Is it because he’s pretty?” Rin had asked after hanging out with Laios. Kabru glared at her.

“Probably,” their friend Mickbell said with a snort. “I can’t believe you want to hang out with that blond dumbass,” he continued. “He’s friends with Chilchuck! Don’t you remember that weirdo from high school? Ugh, I can’t believe we have to be friends with those chuckleheads now.”

“It’s not that,” Kabru said, trying to keep a cool head. “He’s nice. Genuine. Maybe he’s a little strange, but that just makes him even better. He’s himself, no matter what. It’s beautiful.”

Mickbell made a loud fake gagging noise, and Rin rolled her eyes.

“Whatever you say,” she said grumpily.

Kabru hoped that meeting Laios’ friends would go over a little bit better, and that hopefully none of them would have rude things to say about him behind his back. He had agreed to meet Senshi, which had overjoyed Laios. He gave Kabru a one thousand watt smile, and clapped him on the back.

“We’ll have so much fun!” Laios said. “You should bring some ingredients!”

“Like what?” Kabru said. “We should probably come up with a meal first instead of just bringing random ingredients and hoping it makes something.”

“Hmm…” Laios said thoughtfully. “I’ll ask Senshi what would be good.”

Kabru nodded. “Okay that sounds--”

“Oops!” a feminine voice said as someone bumped into Kabru. “Sorry!”

Kabru turned in his chair, and saw two people behind him. They were both blonde and very feminine looking. The shorter of the two was who was looking a Kabru in a way he very much didn’t like. She leaned against the table, a sly smile on her face, eyes hooded. He recognized this look. It was the look of someone who was going to try to shoot their shot, and Kabru really wasn’t in the mood.

“It’s fine,” Kabru said, trying to sound as disinterested in her as possible.

“Oh I’m glad I didn’t bother you,” she said. “Hey, I think I recognize you! I think you’re in my stats class! With Professor Jakob?”

“Maybe,” Kabru said, “It’s a huge class. Sorry, I don’t think I recognize you.”

Her face fell, but brightened as she continued. “Well, my name is Fleki, and this is Lycion,” she said, nodding to the man next to her, who raised a hand in greeting.

“Great, nice to meet you,” Kabru said. He turned back to his math, but Fleki continued to talk.

“There’s a really awesome party coming up next weekend,” she said, sliding Kabru a piece of paper. “There’s my number. Call me sometime, okay?” she said with a grin. Kabru gave a forced smile, and felt relieved as she left.

“Are you going to call her?” Laios asked. “She was pretty.”

“She was, but that’s not enough to make me want to call her,” Kabru said. “She was so rude, just butting into our conversation. And I did recognize her.”

“Really?” Laios said, surprised. “But you told her you didn’t!”

“I know Fleki by reputation, but not by looks. At first I was being honest, but as soon as she said her name, I realized who she was. She’s a druggie, always high on mushrooms or LSD or shit like that. An awesome party…probably just wants to get high and mess around.”

“Would you want to do that?” Laios asked.

“Want to get high and fuck her? Hell no!” Kabru said, shocked.

“No, I…I more meant the idea. Getting high and messing around with someone,” Laios said, sounding slightly flustered.

Kabru blinked. What?

“Um, I don’t know?” Kabru said. “Maybe if it was like, weed or something. I don’t go any harder than that. I’ve never had sex while high though.”

“I have,” Laios said.

“Really?” Kabru said, and Laios nodded.

“I don’t have a lot of experience though, not many people want to go that far with me, but when I have--”

“Oh that’s bullshit, you’re hot as fuck!” Kabru burst out. It didn’t take long for him to register what he had just said, and felt his face heating up, wishing a hole would open up in the floor and swallow him whole. Why had he said that?!

“Excuse me?” Laios said, his cheeks tinged with pink.

“I…” Kabru floundered, trying to figure out how to save the situation, “I just meant that you’re a good looking guy so it’s hard to believe that people wouldn’t want to do it with you!”

“Oh,” Laios said, eyes wide. “Well…I don’t have trouble getting dates if it’s on an app. Girls seem to like how I look. But it’s after that’s the problem. Once they meet me, most of them don’t want to date me. I weird people out,” Laios said sadly. “So meeting people in person is pretty much out of the question. They meet me and are instantly turned off.”

“That’s stupid,” Kabru said with a frown. “You’re great! Anyone would be lucky to be with you.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re a guy!” Laios said.

Ah.

That line.

Kabru sighed. Having said that stupid phrase, Laios was probably straight. If he wasn’t able to consider that a man could have feelings for another man…or maybe he was operating under the assumption that Kabru was straight? Well, the band aid would have to be ripped off at some point, might as well say something now.

“First of all, it doesn’t matter that I’m a guy, it’s obvious that anyone would be lucky to be with you. You’re a great guy with a good heart. But secondly, I happen to enjoy guys just as much as those girls you’re talking about.”

“Enjoy guys?” Laios said slowly, looking confused. Kabru wanted to slam his head against the table. Why was Laios so slow on the uptake?

“I fuck guys,” Kabru said bluntly, and Laios choked on air.

“You’re gay?” Laios said, after his coughs subsided.

“Bi,” Kabru said, “but yeah, I’m into guys. You?”

“I…I’m not really sure,” Laios said after a moment. “I think I’m straight but…”

“But?” Kabru pressed, and Laios looked away.

“I dunno. I’ve never thought about much until…” Laios paused, the apples of his cheeks flushing once more. “Well, I was talking with my friends and then my sister’s girlfriend, Marcille, called me ‘heteroflexible.’ So…maybe I like guys? Sometimes?”

Holy shit! He likes guys!

Kabru felt his heart flutter. Was being with Laios an actual possibility?

“But that just means the amount of people who don’t want to date me has just doubled,” Laios said with a bitter laugh. “I’ve tried to be someone else, a whole new person, but it never works. I’m just…me.”

“Don’t sell yourself short. There’s this song I like…it reminds me of you. It’s in Arabic, but it says basically that if you’re yourself, you’re beautiful.”

“So, in your opinion,” Laios said slowly, “If I just let myself be myself, I’ll be beautiful?”

“Yes,” Kabru said firmly. “Don’t forget that, okay?”

“I won’t,” Laios said with a soft smile. “I promise.”

NOW

Laios sat in his car, wondering if this was a good idea. He hadn’t asked beforehand, but it was visiting hours. He desperately wanted to see Kabru, even though he had no idea what he would even say.

Laios turned his music on shuffle and hit play. And then it came on. The song, their song.

Pulling up his GPS, he put in the name of the hospital and began to drive. This was probably a stupid idea, but Laios didn’t care. He needed to see Kabru, even if it was just for a few minutes, or even seconds. Even if he was just looking through the window…he needed to see his face.

(in order to keep up with them I imitated their appearance. So I looked like someone else, just to brag. I thought I had become rich, but I found I had lost, for these are appearances)

لأجاريهم، قلّدت ظاهر ما فيهم

فبدوتُ شخصاً آخر، كي أتفاخر

و ظننتُ أنا، أنّي بذلك حُزْت غنى

فوجدتُ أنّي خاسر، فتلك مظاهر

Laios’ breath caught in his throat, and he both wanted to listen and didn’t want to listen all at the same time. He didn’t speak Arabic, but he could still remember Kabru telling him the meaning of the song, telling him how much it reminded him of Laios.

كن أنت تزدد جمالاً

(Be yourself and you will be more beautiful)

Kabru had told him this line on that day in the library. Told him that as long as he was himself, he would be beautiful. But look where being himself had gotten him! He hadn’t been able to love Kabru, and now his friend was in the hospital, dying. Sure, Laios had a plan. But did Falin have a point? Could he make himself fall in love with Kabru, or was it a lost cause?

Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes as he drove, listening to the song. At the next light, he put the song on repeat, letting it play on loop as he remembered the first time they had ever listened to it. That moment had been everything. It had been the moment he fell for Kabru.

But clearly, not fallen in love.

God, how could he say he fell for Kabru when Kabru was coughing up petals and pollen? He felt like he was in love, but clearly something was off, something was wrong. Could something be wrong with his love? Was it not deep enough, or maybe…maybe they weren’t meant for each other? Was that how it worked? Maybe you had to be soul mates.

Laios had spent hours researching Hanhaki, but unfortunately there wasn’t a whole lot of scholarly articles about it. Most of what he found were random people speculating or telling stories that truly frightened Laios. One article in a newspaper he didn’t recognize spoke of someone who lost all memories of the person they had been in love with. They had had the surgery and completely forgotten the person, didn’t even know their name.

Could he handle it if Kabru completely forgot him? Completely forgot this song? Completely forgot when they had…

Laios shook his head. He couldn’t remember that now. He needed to focus on what he was going to say to Kabru. He had to figure out what the hell to say! And what to say if Rin was there.

Rin was furious with him. She blamed Laios for Kabru’s predicament and clearly hated him for it. She had burst out in fury at him, and now refused to even look at him when they were in class, much less talk to him. She would probably try and stop him from seeing Kabru.

And maybe she would be right to. Would Kabru even want to see him? Laios hadn’t even considered that until this very moment. Maybe seeing him would make things worse. Maybe he’d die on the spot. Laios gripped the steering wheel tight. He sighed, and pulled over. This was a bad idea. He punched a new address into the GPS and headed there. He needed someone to be brutally honest with him, someone who wouldn’t sugar coat things even a little bit. Someone who wouldn’t give a shit about his feelings.

He needed Izutsumi.

#labru #laios #kabru #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #fanfic #my writing #hanahaki #hanahaki disease

18 notes · View notes