#genuinely not trying to gatekeep. just trying to girlboss

[wazzuppy]

kind of frustrating to see ppl coming back to madoka magica with the new trailer drop and then simply referring to magia record as "that gacha game." like don't disrespect her name like that. just because its a mobile game doesn't mean it lacks value.

[anton-luvr]

# WHEN YOU REFUSE TO SIT IN FRONT ; 7riize.

𖦹 bf!riize x fem!reader | fluff | prank (?) au 𖦹 note ; in case yall dont know about this prank, its basically just people telling their partners that they're not gonna sit in the front seat and capturing their reactions!! i found it quite funny, so hence the birth of this fic... enjoy! hehe + reqs are open !

# SHOTARO. - he's concerned. why don't you want to sit in front?? do you not trust his driving skills??? do you not want to be his passenger princess anymore???? feels like his whole world crashes down and tries to understand why you're so insistent that you want to sit in the back. the moment he realizes it's just a prank to see his reaction, he's instantly relieved. there's nothing else he loves more in this world than having you as his passenger princess.

# EUNSEOK. - he's confused. he wouldn't get why you didn't want to sit in front, and he'd honestly just let you be. but he knows you love sitting in front and controlling the music while he cruised down highways too much to give it up. talks to you to make sure you're okay, and will just start driving if you continue saying you'll sit in the back. he won't be surprised when you confess that it's just a prank and starts clambering back to the front ten minutes into the drive.

# SUNGCHAN. - he's amused. the moment you dramatically announced you weren't going to sit in the front seat today, he knew something was up. he finds it funny and kinda cute at what goes through your brain in hopes of 'pranking' him, or to get his attention. plays along and convinces you to sit in front, using the excuse that he 'needs someone to accompany him' on the 'long and weary drive' - you were going to a taco bell that was only fifteen minutes away. rolls his eyes jokingly when you tell him it's a prank.

# WONBIN. - he's chill. don't wanna sit in front? okay, whatever. don't get him wrong, it's not that he doesn't care. but wonbin is just genuinely a chill person, so he'll let you do whatever you want to do. even if you wanted to sit on the roof, wonbin would let you do so. he respects your gaslight gatekeep girlboss decisions, even when he doesn't get them. even after you told him it's a prank, he'll reassure you that he doesn't mind, and that you can sit wherever you want at any time.

# SEUNGHAN. - he's worried. it's rare that you don't want to sit in front. so for you to suddenly sit in the back, seunghan will start questioning his entire existence. he'll wrack his mind trying to remember if he did anything wrong or offended you in any way recently. in the end, he resorts to just talking to you about it and asking you to sit in the front seat. he's too used to driving with a hand on your thigh while you sang your heart out to songs that it felt weird to not have you by his side. lets out a huge sigh of relief when you tell him it's just a prank.

# SOHEE. - he's upset. how could you not want to sit in front?? do you not love him anymore???? i think sohee would go two ways in this situation - it's either he feels terrible and guilty and starts crying (even tho he did nothing wrong) or he'll act all emo and silent and let you be. if it was the latter, he'd simply start driving, the entire car in complete silence. he's a bit immature in that way, because he knows he should talk it out, but give the man his five minutes of pettiness. he'll talk it out with you later on and feel a bit of an idiot when you tell him it's all a prank. makes you make it up to him with cuddles and kisses.

# ANTON. - he's stubborn. oh, you don't wanna sit in front beside him? don't worry, anton will sit in the back with you. the car's not going to move because no one's driving it? anton doesn't care. he just wants to be beside you and as close to you as he can at any moment; he's attached to you like a magnet with metal. takes you a while to convince him it's all just a prank, and he finally agrees to drive the car when you move to sit in front.

© anton-luvr, 2023.

[demonicchicken1121]

Alastor, Rosie, and Cannibal Town: an Analysis (I’m fucking at it (Alastor Posting) again)

Ok I know that a lot of people have already been talking about this, but I really want to analyze Alastors behavior in cannibal town and how it’s so much different than how he behaves literally anywhere else.

Alastors true motives, personality, opinions, etc are widely debated in the fandom. Does he actually care about Charlie or the hotel? What’s his beef with Lucifer? Why did he make a deal and who was it with? Al is such a mysterious and closed off character, and his demeanor changes so frequently that no one in or out of universe really knows much about him. I personally think that the closest we get to seeing Alastor in his truest and most authentic self is when he’s in cannibal town.

From the moment they arrive, Alastors demeanor changes dramatically, even from a few moments before, when Charlie was venting about her relationship issues. He seems genuinely excited to be there and see Rosie, to the point where he seems to forget he brought Charlie here for a reason (hell I think he forgets Charlie is even there at a few points.)

Al and Rosie HAVE seen each other since he returned to hell, at the overlord meeting, but they didn’t really have the time to interact. Even so, they are so in tune with each other. This man was gone for seven years and here they are gaslight gatekeep girlbossing like nothing happened.

But once they actually have the opportunity to interact outside of the overlord meeting they’re super excited to catch up. The only other time he shows this much enthusiasm to see someone is with Mimzy, but things quickly goes south when she puts the hotel is danger. Alastors friendship with mimzy feels very onesided, and it seems that she only shows up when she needs something. While Alastor and Rosie clearly ask each other for favors, it feels a lot more equal in a way where they each get an equal amount of benefit.

And while we haven’t seen much of them yet, I get the vibe that they hang out in their free time and respect each others boundaries and schedules. I think Al went through cannibal town hoping to see her in the prequel comic, but figured she was busy after the extermination and instead asked some of the residents to say hello on his behalf. But that’s just a theory, a gam-

Also just a little thing I noticed, when rosie is joking about Charlie being too young for Alastor, Charlie looks visibly annoyed, but Alastors body language and expression don’t change. He tends to react relatively strongly when anyone (Angel) makes a move on him or assumes he’s dating anyone, but I think he knows Rosie well enough to know she’s joking.

Alastor lets his guard down so much in this part of the episode. He’s really in his element and his behavior seems so natural and genuine.

I love how he’s so willing to just roast Susan. Every iconic duo has that one person they fucking hate and will not be subtle about how much they fucking hate them. It’s especially funny with alastor, who’s usually really pretentious and passive aggressive when he insults someone, but with Susan it’s just

“✨Ornery old bitch?✨” also this is the only time in the entire series that alastor swears in a genuinely humorous way. In almost every other example, he is trying to intimidate someone or piss them off, and also when his staff was broken.

And speaking of his staff, I think it was actually a big deal that Alastor let Charlie use it, even tho it was for a very short time. This does show that whether or not he actually cares about her, Alastor does have a certain amount of trust and respect for Charlie. Despite that, I don’t think he would have done this if he wasn’t in cannibal town and with Rosie. The staff is clearly very important to him and likely holds some amount of his power, given how he reacted when it was broken.

As weird as this sentence is out of context, I think Alastor feels very safe in cannibal down. Rosie and probably the other cannibals genuinely like and respect him. it speaks volumes that not only he let Charlie use his staff, but he put himself in the position that would leave him vulnerable to Rosie if Charlie were to turn on him. While he knows it’s highly unlikely that would happen, I think it’s still worth noting that he intentionally left himself in such a vulnerable position in cannibal town and nowhere else.

Something else interesting I noticed, is that “ready for this” is one of the only songs that Alastor is interacting with another character, and isn’t competing for the spotlight. He is walking all over Vox in “stayed gone”, and getting walked all over by Lucifer in “Hells greatest dad”, but here, he’s very in tune with everyone else. He and Rosie are on equal footing and he feels secure enough to fade into the background a bit, harmonizing with the cannibals and letting Charlie take the lead.

So yeah, I feel like Cannibal town is alastors home in hell. His relationship with Rosie is probably the most positive relationship he has in the whole show. I think viv has mentioned that Alastor wasn’t a cannibal before he died, and I’m not sure if that’s still canon, but if it is, I can definitely see him becoming a cannibal when he became friends with Rosie. I can also see Rosie being one of his first friends in hell, maybe they even rose to power together. I’m clearly getting into some more speculative headcanons because I do what I want, but I’m putting them in their own section.

Now for headcanons with little to no substantial evidence ✨✨✨

I do actually really like the idea that they became friends very quickly and rose to power together. I like the idea that they were friends before Alastor became this super powerful force in hell. It also makes sense that he would trust someone who wanted to be his friend back when people weren’t constantly asking for favors or testing his power. Bc I do think that there was a short period of time between him arriving in hell and rising to power. (I have a lot of ideas about how he got his powers which probably will get its own post, but to brief, he wasn’t super powerful when he arrived in hell.) it makes sense that him and Rosie would have become friends in that period.

When he did start rising to power, I think Rosie would have guided him, given that he was a relatively new sinner. She would help him find overlords to target, possibly even letting him recruit cannibals to help him take them down. After he was finished broadcasting their screams, he would return their bodies to Rosie for her to sell. Maybe any cannibals who helped him would get discounts or first pickings.

This makes sense to me bc not only would it help explain why Alastor has never seen Rosie as a rival or a target, but also it would help explain why they’re so close. Nothing builds a friendship better than overthrowing incredible forces of power. Also they totally square dance on the weekends.

Viv please I need an episode that’s nothing but these two dicking around in cannibal town for twenty minutes.

[narzissenkreuz-ordo]

ok im loosing my mind at this theory? canon connection? from twitter

1.2 spoilers/theories / luocha companion quest mentions / leaks(?)

i was ALSO under the assumption that dan feng is dead and dan heng is just a Fucked Up On Purpose reincarnation of himself. but these TWO screenshots fuck it all up

(apparently this was data mined from the game and hasn't been deleted but im unsure if its 1.3 leaks for imbibitor lunae's companion mission or not)

and this is just a screenshot from Luocha's companion mission where March is talking about a novel that has a molting/de-aging story beat and said novel is a main focus throughout the mission

the clear use of "molting" is. super telling especially since Luocha is a follower of the abundance and has unclear motives on the Luofu that havent come to light yet compared to Dan Feng's gay gay homosexual gay immortality sin

and boy does hyv like to drop hints like this in the patches leading up A Big Reveal

this makes the lore EVEN MORE complicated than it already WAS trying to figure out whats going between these two(?) characters and if Dan Feng was actually just de-aged its honestly So Much More Tragic than just Dan Feng dying because Dan Heng IS Dan Feng. Blade ISN'T as delusional in thinking they're the same person, though Dan Heng isn't trying to gaslight gatekeep girlboss by pretending not to know Blade because he GENUINELY doesn't. Dan Feng isn't dead, Dan Feng just doesn't exist anymore in the capacity that his loved ones can remember . And it hurts SO much more.

This also explains why Jing Yuan was acting so fucking insensitive to Dan Heng in the 1.2 trailblaze mission. Jing Yuan is a long-life species and not a stranger to the death of people around him, he is familiar with the Vidyadhara reincarnation cycles & him repeatedly referring to Dan Heng as Dan Feng is unwarranted and not in character IF Dan Feng is actually dead. If Dan Feng was de-aged & grows into being Dan Heng that throws a huge fucking wrench in the already messy & convoluted Vidyadhara reincarnation. His friend did not die and move on to their next incarnation that is to be expected of Vidyadhara, Dan Feng NEVER died but his existence was so altered to the point that his death would have been kinder

bonus me trying to explain to my non-hsr friend this shit;

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

I’m sorry but can you write more stuff about Vox being a gaslighter? I’m actually obsessed with your analysis

Thaaanks I'm obsessed about them too~ 🩵❤️

So, Vox is like the ultimate gaslighter. Manipulation and brainwashing? That's his whole freaking business plan. I mean, come on, the Voxtek slogan is "Trust Us," and somehow, people actually do.

Oh, let's talk about Voxtek - he's the worst, most manipulative boss ever. He's always pulling stuff like withholding essential information for a task someone's supposed to do, then publicly blaming them for screwing up. And he's sneaky about it too, acting all concerned and disappointed instead of just yelling. It makes people feel useless and insecure, so they bust their butts trying to please him and win back their colleagues' respect, never daring to stand up for themselves. Plus, he's a pro at keeping relationships between higher-up managers tense and distrustful by spreading rumors and creating a competitive vibe. And don't get me started on how he's a total hypocrite - Voxtek, like every other company, preaches its values and missions to create this fake sense of safety and purpose, but then he goes and acts against them or lets someone else do so. It leaves people feeling confused and helpless because they can't play the game when the rules keep changing. Let me tell you, Satan might work hard, but Voxtek's HR department works even harder.

And manipulating people on a personal level? Way too easy for him. People who don't know him well enough think he's some kind of genius (bless their hearts), so they give him way too much credibility. It's crucial for him to be seen as competent because that's how he stays in control. That's why he loves to question the competence of his business partners (Not to be that guy, but those numbers don't look great. Are you sure you can handle this? I don't want to waste my money.) or Valentino (Babe, I've got this. We both know you're not great with financial planning.). Thought hardly ever works on Velvette because she's got zero bullshit tolerance.

Now, when it comes to Valentino, Vox has zero remorse about gaslighting him. To him, gaslighting isn't even violence; it's just a way of handling things, all neat and effective. Why bother yelling and arguing when he can just manipulate Val into agreeing with him? It's like what we saw in episode 2. And even when Val has every right to be angry because Vox acted like a jerk, Vox tends to devaluate his emotions (I don't have time to deal with another temper tantrum, Val; You're always so pissy, why can't you just chill?) or tries to make him doubt his own reality (Maybe you'd remember it better if you weren't high all the time.). He hates arguing with Val, but also is unable to admit that he's wrong, so in his mind, undermining Val's ability to call him out on his bad behavior is a way of keeping their relationship healthy. But it's risky because sometimes Val sees through his manipulations, especially when they're about his feelings, and then things get even messier.

I like to think they trust each other when it comes to serious stuff, like protecting each other from outside dangers, but at the same time, it's like Mr. Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss is married to Mr. Manipulate Mansplain Manwhore - you never know if he's being genuinely nice or if he's trying to get you to do something.

[sweet-as-an-angel]

Yandere Phillip Graves Headcanons

Warnings: Yandere behabiour, toxic beahviour, kidnapping, no pronouns used for Reader except 'You', flirting, Graves is jealous, Graves gaslighting himself, etc.

This man is the definition of gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss.

And not in a funny way.

You captured his attention with your skill, your humour, and your overall personality.

He's cocky, arrogant - tries to wow you with his flash lifestyle outside the military.

Btw, he would definitely use his money to keep you docile (or, in the beginning of your friendship, impressed); try to buy you expensive things to keep you happy where he himself could not satisfy you.

Lowkey flirts with you; like he really tries to make it subtle.

He thinks it makes you feel special when he's understated with his attention to you, feeling more genuine as opposed to him basically charming his way into your bedroom as he usually does with other people.

If you don't even reciprocate his subtle flirting (which you totally pick up on), he'll take that as a challenge.

Will increase the flirt factor when speaking with you.

"Looking mighty fine today, darlin',"

"Wish I could say the same for you, Graves."

Lives for the challenge you present to him - like you're a code he needs to crack.

Begins to over-analyse every interaction you have, trying to read it and find a double-meaning.

He's like a teenager with a crush; his thoughts are only of you.

Eventually, he'll start seeing signs that aren't even there.

You offered to help him plan a tactical attack on the enemy? You're making time for him - you want to be around him.

You give him your extra bread? You care for him. Deeply. The bread is a metaphor for your heart--

Stuff like that.

He literally gaslit himself into believing you liked him romantically.

Graves began spiraling a few months into his 'relationship' with you.

You saw it as a friendship, but Graves, apparently not.

He's always thinking of your safety and well-being, even when it's not necessary, basically forcing you to get medical check-ups you don't need because he "Doesn't want to risk it."

Risk what?

Well, your health, of course!

Absolutely gives unsolicited advice about how much of what vitamins you need in a day, what you should and shouldn't eat, etc.

Goes everywhere with you.

I'm serious, he will NOT leave you alone.

He's like a dog or a puppy, and, while endearing to you, his presence is downright menacing to others.

Shoots absolutely disgusting look at people who stare at you. Or just look at you.

He's mad territorial; can't stand to see you talking with anyone else.

He can get extremely jealous and will often punish those he deems as a threat to your 'relationship'.

But never you.

He could never bring himself to punish you.

Eventually, after the two of you got closer and he realised he liked you romantically, he acted on instinct immediately.

He lured you to some secluded area of the Base under the false pretenses of having "Somethin' real cool to show ya!"

Turns out that "something cool" was a chloroform-soaked rag, which he pressed to your nose and forced you to inhale.

You resisted, of course. Tried to put your military training to good use, but Graves was stronger, both physically and mentally, and your body gave out.

When you woke up, you were in a penthouse.

You could recognise the decor as your blurred vision came into focus, Graves having bragged to you many a time about his salary and the many houses he owned in God-knows where.

Coming to think of it, he never actually told you where his penthouses were located.

Sneaky bastard.

When you fully came to, you found yourself on a bed, unlike anything you were permitted in the military.

It was soft, plush, like two mattresses stacked atop each other.

The room was large enough that you assumed even your thoughts would echo within it.

Everything was a neutral cream or beige, lacking any personal touch and resembling a hotel room rather than an expensive villa.

That is, until Graves' voice crackled over a microphone.

"Hey, darlin'," he said, his voice bouncing from the walls, making the origin impossible to locate.

"Now, you'll be wonderin' why I've brought you here, and the truth is that--"

There was a pause.

"--that I...like you. More so than you've probably noticed--"

You scoffed. Jesus, his attempts couldn't have been more obvious that if he'd outright told you what he was planning on doing to you.

The voice didn't react to your show of 'disrespect', and you gathered that the message was pre-recorded.

Of course, Graves was far too busy keeping up appearances for the 141 to come and see you in person.

“And because I— like you— I had to take you away - protect you.”

Despite having kidnapped you, Graves sounded more bashful than anything else. No remorse, no nothing except for embarrassment.

"I had to bring you somewhere you'd be safe, and happy, and...loved-"

Even the recording seemed to freeze as you did upon the word 'love' permeating the air.

This isn't love, you thought.

You, on the other hand, were fuming.

How long had he planned on doing this to you? Who else knew? What made him think he had the right to do this to you?

You tried leaving, but found the door all but soldered shut, the windows such a great height off the ground that, if you were to even try to lower yourself down from the ledge, you'd most certainly break your legs.

Graves had you right where he wanted you; dependent and reliant on him and him alone.

And, unless you can outsmart him, you'll stay that way for the rest of your life.

Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously :-)

Masterlist Masterlist [Continued] Masterpost Modern Warfare AI Masterlist

AO3 Wattpad

[mothmanssweetsucculentass]

What are your head cannons for characters in different factions within Zenless being friends? (Example: Lucy and Corin being friends because they have the shared experience of not great parents based on what the game reveals).

Ooooooh I hadn’t thought about this til now—

I’m gonna try and include as many characters as possible in this!!

So first off, everyone in the Cunning Hares gets along with everyone in The Sons of Calydon. Considering Billy used to be a former member of the gang, I’d say the two work pretty closely/know each other fairly well. For specifics, I think Anby and Caesar have the same mindset when it comes to combat, and Nekomata and Burnice bond over being chaos gremlins. Nekomata would also love Piper, nap taking gang go Brrrr. I think the only ones who wouldn’t like each other would be Nicole and Lucy, and they tend to just hate each other in secret/behind everyone else’s back’s cause they care about their own groups too much.

Similarly, I think Belobog also has similar ties to Victoria Housekeeping. Lycaon and Corin both like Ben, but for different reasons. Lycaon likes Ben due to thiren solidarity, and Lycaon also thinks he’s a pretty decent guy who’s chill and all that. If Belobog ever needs a commission from Victoria, or vice versa, the transactions are made between those two.

Corin likes him cause of how gentle and understanding he is. She sees a lot of her new father figure Lycaon in him.

As much as it pains me to say it, I don’t really think anyone in Victoria Housekeeping would like the company of the more criminally aligned factions (so far being the Cunning Hares and Sons of Calydon). Sure, Victoria Housekeeping may not have the greatest moral compass, but they do have a reputation to uphold.

The only one I think does make sense is Corin and Nekomata considering their actions in canon. Maaaaaybeee if you squint, I can see Anby and Ellen getting along, too

Seth being the himbo that he is would definitely befriend Rina on accident. Like, she would just be doing the mind manipulation stuff and being super condescending and shit, and he’d be none the wiser and think her insults to be genuine compliments.

And obviously because of that, I think Rina and Jane would also be besties. Gaslight gatekeep girlboss solidarity.

Lycaon and Qingyi I think would also get along at least somewhat well, considering both are very peepaw coded characters. Lycaon also deems it good to have at least one cop friend for emergencies.

Soldier 11 often works with NEPS, but hasn’t been able to form a close bond with anyone outside of Phaethon due to how insanely busy she always is. She’d definitely like Qingyi the most if given the time to actually hang out with the NEPS faction.

Seth, if ever given the chance, would also probably like Anton’s company. The two have similar moral compasses and even more similar himbo mindsets.

Anton would also love Billy for the same reasons. He has to keep their friendship somewhat hidden though, lest Grace finds out Billy exists and tries to cut him open to see how he works.

Piper seems to be the mechanic of the Sons of Calydon group, so I think she’d get along with at least Koleda and Anton from Belobog. Solidarity in working with big machinery and all that y’know?

Soukaku would definitely be friends with Burnice, no explanation needed. Chaos gremlin x chaos gremlin.

Harumasa and Seth probably have a history together the same way Zhu Yuan and Miyabi do.

Until they reveal more about her, I don’t really know what to say about Yanagi, but I think she’d probably get along with people like Lycaon and Qingyi

I ran into Lighter once in Lumina square and he had dialogue about being kinda shy so y’know what, fuck it, anxious mf solidarity between him and Corin. Let the tall scary looking biker guy have social anxiety and let it be the most normal thing ever please Hoyo I beg do not make him like fucking Mika from genshin

I really hope they officially reveal the idol/livestreamer faction, as well as the vampire guy in Lycaon’s story quest soon, cause I’d love to see how their personalities are, and how they’d fit in with the rest of the cast

[poorlittleyaoyao]

do you have any cdrama recs?

I haven't watched many! My attention span for just-for-fun reading is abysmal when school's in session, and that sadly includes subtitles.

HOWEVER. I HIGHLY recommend Story of Yanxi Palace, a historical drama that follows a young woman named Wei Yingluo who enters the Qianlong Emperor's court as an embroidery maid to avenge her older sister's murder. Yingluo is a FANTASTIC protagonist because she's a top-tier manipulator capable of being absolutely ruthless; however, for all that she's trying (and generally succeeding) at being a Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss, she has an unshakeable sense of justice, and often undertakes personal risk to protect people dear to her. I always like it when a hero gets to scheme and lie unabashedly and the scheming and lying is acknowledged as such.

Beyond that--and what REALLY appealed to me coming off of The Untamed--is that the cast is overwhelmingly women. There are, like, four guys who matter in the entire 70-episode series. The other principals are the women of the palace complex: the empress, the concubines, the consorts in the harem, the maids. The series is first and foremost concerned with the relationships between these women and how the repressive environment of the Forbidden City (and the precariousness of their own positions) stifles their abilities to be themselves and encourages them to turn on each other. There's a lot of love! There's also a lot of mess!

And if you're like "hm, this sounds like a serious and depressing prestige drama," it also includes some BUCKWILD plot moments. At one point a character summons bats to murder someone. At another point, a character goads another into being struck by lightning.

(Also, because this made me very anxious: when a tiny dog shows up, DON'T WORRY, THE DOG IS FINE. THE DOG IS OKAY.)

I will admit that I haven't finished the series; there's a point around 2/3 in where some major plot threads are resolved and the ones intended to take their place come out of NOWHERE and involve what I feel is some genuinely OOC writing for the new antagonists. But it's just so ENJOYABLE to watch a historical drama that centers on women's experiences, isn't a romance (there are romances in it! but that is deeply secondary), and lets its characters be absolute disaster humans instead of Cardboard Picturesque Sad Historical Ladies(TM). I am grateful to @maester-of-spreadsheets and @tavina-writes for recommending it!

The whole thing is on YouTube with top-notch subtitles. (They translate terms of address! They translate the idioms and scientific/cultural/historical references verbatim and then add footnotes for context because they correctly assume that yOU ARE WATCHING THIS ONLINE, YOU CAN PAUSE TO READ IF YOU WANT. Netflix would NEVER.) There's also a remarkably thorough Wikipedia page if you lose track of the characters, since many of them undergo changes to their official titles and are referred to by those exclusively.

[kookidough]

i know world tour rewrites are probably overdone by now but i wanna see an alenoah world tour rewrite where pretty much everything is the same but (predictably) it changes at/around i see london

so in this rewrite, pre-london, similarly to canon alejandro is flirting with other teams to get them off their game and eliminate them (cough cough bridgette, leshawna, etc) but he thinks it’d be a good idea to flirt with someone on his own team- not to throw them off their game, but to get a closer bond with them and hopefully a steady alliance once merge rolls around. after all, it’s easier to get closer to a team member than an enemy right now.

he’s weighing up his options and he Hates owen, izzy is Insane, and tyler serves no use to him, which leaves noah.. alejandro thinks he’ll be a good choice since while noah is weak he does somewhat try in challenges and he is very smart, so having him as an ally will benefit alejandro, also he genuinely enjoys noah company, viewing him as being on the same level as him in levels of wit/intelligence/humour, so boom it’s settled, noah will be his ally post-merge

anyway back to i see london, the episode goes the same up until the elimination ceremony, alejandro yaps in the confessional about it being unfair that chris let team amazon win since his team were the ones that actually caught the ripper-type guy. he also knows that since he was caught before the challenge even started, he’s probably going home !! so he needs to figure out a way to gaslight gatekeep girlboss everyone and stay in the game

he, like in canon, is of course irritated at noah for talking about him behind his back and thinks about eliminating him, despite previously thinking he’d be a good ally. this is where i diverge fully from canon and say he can’t really risk losing an ally here and maybe, without noah having the influence of anyone else, he’ll be able to turn things around with him. izzy is already gone so if alejandro eliminates owen, then noah will have no other allies and most likely be searching for one, so this is where alejandro can swoop back in and continue to ally with him (while definitely planning to use him for his intelligence and double cross him later as revenge for gossiping about him, and also because alejandro wants to win)

so with 2 votes for ale and 3 votes for owen, the big guy is sent packing and things are playing out the way alejandro wants them to. when he approaches noah for an alliance he’s surprised at how little convincing it takes, and he thinks this plan will be easier than he thought

hoooowever noah is also planning to double cross him and he approaches heather, despite disliking her, because he knows shes currently the only other one that can see through alejandro. he may not like heather but he knows she’s smart and a very capable player and hey, if things go south then it can’t be that hard to get her eliminated, because she’s literally heather

so just . AUFHHR i need this dynamic of noah and alejandro thinking they’re one step ahead of each other and they’ve got each other all figured out but they’re actually both just playing each other’s game and they have all the stupid flirty rival banter while they tango around their feelings for each other it’s great

and they dont even have to be final 2 !!! maybe their plans crumble and they end up voted off and get into some tense aftermath segment and have a very chaotic game of “truth or volcanic eruption” !!

[adragonsfriend]

Reading Darth Plagueis,

by James Luceno.

Ok I finished this book. It was a wild ride, here are some highlights, (anything in quotes, " ", is in fact, a direct quote). Spoilers, I guess.

———

“At some point, probably when he was focused on murder, a rock or other projectile had pulped a large area of his lower back.”--Plagueis

Yeah man that always happens to me too when I’m focused on murder

———

Me thinking, *Plagueis is way too normal for a sith,* about five seconds before the narration goes *Plagueis was hungry. he thought about eating the eggs of some sentient lizards and also the sentient lizards themselves, but restrained himself*

———

Plagueis, a banker: nOt all mUNns R bAnkErS u kNoW

A pirate who wants a bribe: be better for you if you were some financial wizard

Plagueis, a literal wizard:

———

Captain La (the random pirate): how do u know my name

Plagueis: *truthing* I sliced you ship’s systems,

Plagueis: *lying* it’s not like I’m a telepath or something

———

*at the evil rich people party*

"Republic senators, at least those that weren’t present, would be subjected to ridicule—"

I love how the narration says "subjected" like Bail Organa would give fuck about some assholes making fun of him

———

Plagueis in a business meeting as hego damask:

Repeats himself multiple times conducting experiments in trying to force suggest to a resistant species

His assistant: bro what r u doing ur making us look bad

———

omg young Palpatine is so Anakin coded. Genuinely he throws tantrums it’s perfect

———

Tag this accidental baby acquisition some random dathomiri lady just handed maul over like a sac of potatoes

———

Sidious, about to gaslight, girlboss, gatekeep, mansplain, manipulate, and threaten to manslaughter Nute Gunray within an inch of his life all in the span of a 2 minute zoom call: *wearing his Sith cloak on their holocall* what is up my guy? did u get the rare collectible bird I sent u anonymously a while back?

Nute Gunray: uhh…yes…um… its very nice…who are you and why r u hiding in that hood bro?

Sidious: it's the traditional clothing of my Order

Gunray: ur a cleric?

Sidious: "Do I seem like a holy man to you?"

Me: the only holes I see here are in your logic, morals, ability to feel compassion, and *waves hand all encompassingly* vibes

———

Dooku: if one more Jedi dies because of the indolence of the republic, I’ll leave the Jedi and refuse to look back

Palpatine: *listening attentively*

———

Plagueis & Maul: (separately) gloat about being Sith Lords to people they’re about to kill

Sidious:

Sidious: these idiots cannot keep a secret to save their lives—

———

Plagueis ACTUALLY believes Sidious is about to appoint him co-chancellor. what an idiot.

———

Padme shocking both Sith at every turn during the Naboo crisis is sending me

———

Oooh Sidious' murder rant is incredible. He's like Plagueis you manipulated and abused me, now i'm gonna kill you so I can go do that to other people without you hanging over my shoulder. It's like the evil but still cathartic version of Zuko's speech to Firelord Ozai.

———

Dooku: That zabrak guy was definitely a Sith. There has to be another one, probably the master

Sidious, standing right next to him in a shadowy warehouse wearing a black cloak: “how would one even begin to know where to look for this other Sith?”

———

“For an instant, Palpatine perceived a touch of his younger self in Skywalker”

This book needs to stop. Maybe consider pulling its punches sometime. The only mark of disapproval I have here is that this is portraying Obi-Wan as an asshole for the five seconds he’s present

———

Bad news, the book did indeed stop. I have been gravely injured, but also greatly amused. The experience of reading this book is just constant vacillation between *wow so Sith Lord, so scary, so evil* and *Plagueis, my guy, that is the dumbest ideology I’ve ever heard. maybe if you took a nap (for the first time in 20 years) you’d finally say something that made sense*

I will also confess that I was taking detailed notes about Plagueis for an AU idea I have that I will not be starting for at least another year because I am married to BHOT and I refuse to be like the rest of you sorry fucks with 17 wips (ignoring that fanfic is in fact the only genre of writing I do not have at least 17 wips in)

[lonelylonelyghost]

Reason 1 of why I liked Blossoms in Adversity -

- Romance

I didn't hear particularly great things about this aspect of the drama, but the way that it was talked about paradoxically made me sure that I would end up liking it. And I was right. Yey me.

And the reason for this was my probably not the most relatable quality. Because - hi, hello, I'm ace as hell. Nice to meet you.

One of the main reasons of why I can't finish many (especially het) dramas that have lots of romance in it is because in my opinion very few of them manage not to fumble the romance part. If the progression of events or characters doesn't make sense for me, then I just completely lose any interest in the story, even if the rest of it is immaculate. If the couple throughout the beginning is at odds with each other for legitimate reasons, how can they sleep together and declare undying love to each other after spending just one day frolicking outdoors? And they didn't even talk much about their issues while on the trip? I mean good for them I guess, but I don't get it.

So, the way that the relationship between Gu Yanxi and Hua Zhi was described by others (or maybe my ace senses were tingling idk), I just headcanonned them as an ace couple.

And it was awesome! They are both smart, strong and independent, they build their way into romance from a place of genuine friendship and actually liking each other as people, they have an ungodly amount of communication skills. They respect and treat each other as equals. They spend around 3 years together, some of it while being friends and helping each other with their respective problems, and the rest of it dating (going on dates, unraveling conspiracies and adopting almost the entire Imperial Family, one sad child at a time).

They don't have this awkward tension like some of the shows have, where the show is trying to desperately convince me by telling me that they are "so in love" without actually showing me why they are in love.

I love me some messed-up dynamic occasionally, but especially in m/f relationships what I love the most is seeing them as equal partners, a power couple if you will.

That's not to say that there is no drama between this two! Healthy does not mean boring

And yeah, I know that this is unrealistic, the way that Hua Zhi is so powerful in a period patriarchal China, how she treats everyone with respect despite their status, how she's even allowed such freedom, etc.

But I don't watch dramas for their gritty realism, I'm angry and resentful at this world enough as it is. Dramas are my escapism, the stories give me hope, and they are one of the very few reasons why I'm still alive.

And if the reason for me to feel good requires me to watch a a young woman in a historical settings in charge of her enormous family gaslight-gatekeep-girlboss her way into being adored and respected by the whole world because of how amazing she is, and a young man in charge of a terrifying organization breaking away from his toxic family situation and finding his peace and his people while helping the love of his life to dig out 17 (or 18) jars of wine, then so be it

[yuwumeniji]

Hello there! My request has a bit of angst, but I was wondering what your take would be on when reader-Chan and their Luxiem guy are like after a fight? Like how would they make up? Thanks if you decide to write this!

Luxiem & Fights

WARNING: Please remember that I am writing about Luxiem based on their characters online and not of the people behind their vtuber avatars, thank you!

EXTRA NOTES: thank you for the request!!!

SETTING THE STAGE

my comedic attempt at angst lmao

actually this genuinely might be more comedic than angsty because i can't write for my life lmao

proofreader? i hardly even know er

MORE UNDER THE CUT

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧ ─────┈⊰᯽⊱

IKE EVELAND

either the pettiest bitch alive or someone who easily forgives and forgets

if he's being petty, it's probably over something mundane like eating his leftovers or a simple argument like is water wet?

outside of that, ike seems to be the kind of guy who easily forgives most because he thinks there may be good intentions behind an action even if it was expressed poorly

if an argument was HIS fault; ike is the kind to take his time in apologizing

he doesn't want to seem insincere when apologizing too quickly, but he also doesn't want to give off the impression that he didn't learn from his mistakes and recognize what he did wrong

he goes out of his way to write an actual apology and give it to you as a letter though

LUCA KANESHIRO

mission impossible - it's difficult to get into any kind of argument with luca because of his easy-going nature

like i genuinely can't think of a scenario where luca would purposefully be petty and argue over something except for silly internet kind of arguments

if you seem upset over something he's said or done, he's the type to sincerely apologize as soon as possible

he'll prolly drag you out to someplace nice, do things for you, etc. to cheer you up - he'd rather see you smile more than anything else

oh but that's for personal relations, if we're talking about his whole mafia boss thing... well.... he's ruthless

no apologies, in fact, would anyone make it out alive from an argument from the boss?

i'll leave that up to your imagination

MYSTA RIAS

ok no, he's THE pettiest in luxiem

he is out here fighting tooth and nail in any kind of argument unless there is solid evidence of said topic - with photos, sound recordings,etc.

if he's wrong, he'll take it like a champ and say he's wrong (but he'll be sulky about it.. just a little)

he's great with apologies too, a little slow with them, but great nontheless

the way he apologizes is just to sit you down and profusely apologize to you

that's it lmao

OR he's the type to move on quickly from an argument (i mean just like my asian parents /slapped)

he won't bring up the argument up again, but he will cry if it was brought up again

SHU YAMINO

the most difficult to get into a legitimate argument with because he's the most logical one here

this is going two ways - either he's actually correct or this is the most gaslight,gatekeep,girlboss of him ever

when it comes to arguments, shu often gets into mundane arguments that are absolute nonsensical because he tries to reason them out with logic, but other than that he refrains from getting involved with serious matters (unless need be)

when it comes to apologies, shu sends a funny meme and hopes that it brings a smile to your face - he's not that great with words, so to compensate, he'll try his best to make you smile

VOX AKUMA

I think he would be a big baby over most kinds of argument, especially afterwards

he's a little scary when it comes to arguments (i mean he is a demon after all) and he does raise his voice

but afterwards, no matter what, he'll crawl back to you and apologize profusely to you for raising his voice and for the things he's said

he's in tears man

if it is for serious matters, of course his sincerity can be most felt through just sitting down and chatting about where both parties are wrong, where he was wrong and how to fix these mistakes

[nyhti]

I feel like Jervis and Hugo would make each other normal (they would literally make each other so much worse)

I'm literally writing a fic right now about them making each other normal (worse). They would fuel each other's fucked up kinks <3 But honestly, at the same time they would make each other better in some ways as well. I love that cute shit <33

And this is where I could have ended this response, but because I love these two so much and think about them all the time, I wrote all this:

It depends on the writer just how ”aware” Jervis is. Some writers like to write him permanently stuck in Wonderland and in some versions (mostly Pre-Crisis) it's like he's never even been there. I prefer the versions somewhere in between; the ones where he's lucid most of the time, but slips back into Wonderland under stress. And I especially like the versions where, at times, it is unclear whether he is actually in Wonderland or just faking it to get out off a situation (think Gotham Central #19-22).

I'm saying all this, because Jervis' awareness is very key to how I write this relationship. Aside from those moments when he is genuinely in Wonderland and genuinely disconnected from reality, he is very aware and has a very keen eye in my verse. This comes from the whole hypnotist and general Mind Games World Champion thing. I think as a hypnotist Jervis needs to be very good at reading people to know exactly what to say and do to put people under his spell. And given that he is an expert in mind games himself, it is impossible to play mind games with him. In general, I love the contradiction of a character who pretends to not even be here mentally most of the time, being actually incredibly keen eyed, smart and fucking with people's heads. They think he's lost his mind, but they're the ones who are about to lose their minds. He might seem like he doesn't understand what's going on at all, and sometimes that really is the case, but most of the time he knows exactly what's happening – even better than most people.

How this relates to Hugo is that he basically has immunity to Hugo's bullshit. You cannot play mind games with him, because he knows every trick in the book. He was there when mind games were invented. My Jervis is like a human lie detector, if lie detectors actually worked and Hugo, as we know, is a big fat liar. I love it, I love it, I love it. Hugo cannot stop lying, it's so second nature to him that he lies even when he doesn't necessarily need to and every time, every time Jervis catches him on it. This is where it's at for me. Hugo has been Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlbossing his way though life for 52 years and suddenly there's this 150cm tall 48-year-old man who finally tells him to shut the fuck up. I love it. Immovable object, unstoppable force. I love it.

I just love the frustration that it ignites in Hugo when he cannot lie to get what he wants, when someone is forcing him to be genuine for the first time in over 50 years. I think it would remind Hugo of being young. See, he wasn't born a Girlboss, he had to learn how to Gaslight, how to Gatekeep. He was always shitty and was trying to manipulate and control others from a young age, but it was hard. He made mistakes and things didn't always work out and it left him frustrated. And it's all happening again now, his bullshit doesn't work on Jervis and it makes him feel frustrated, angry and finally depressed. But ultimately, it is all for the better.

I think it's evident reading Pre-Crisis Hugo issues, that he wanted people around him and not just as his little minions that he would dispose of when they weren't of use to him anymore. He has those too, of course, but I'm saying he wouldn't have made sure Magda wasn't defenseless if worse came to pass, had he not truly cared for her, he wouldn't have healed Bruce's wounds and ”died” to protect his secret, had he not cared for him. He wanted people around him and he deeply cared for the few people he was close with. All of his relationships are fucked up, because he is fucked up, but it is clear to me that this man both wanted to love others and was capable of loving others.

He wants people around, but I think it's very difficult for him to let anyone that close. Even though in my verse Jervis is the one person next to Batman (and mayyyybe Joker) that he respects, I don't think that he would ever even consider letting Jervis close, letting Jervis see behind the lies. But that's just the thing, Jervis saw thought them anyway. It was like he was forced to let Jervis close, because he couldn't keep him away. And as stated, it makes him frustrated, angry and even depressed, but ultimately, it is for the better. It does him good to be genuine around someone for once. To stop lying for two seconds and just be himself. It does actually make him more normal.

For example, if Hugo was upset over something, his first response would be to lie that he wasn't, as to not seem weak. Think of when Thorne had him kidnapped and beaten by thugs and Hugo was still going on about how: ”Threats mean nothing to Hugo Strange! You mean nothing to Hugo Strange!” Yet, after he had faked his death, he spent so much time and effort on getting his revenge on Thorne – TWICE. This man had to avenge what he suffered in Thorne's hands TWICE. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure the torture did mean something to Hugo Strange. Plus, we have seen countless times the way he responds to his plans not working out: faking his own death. Seriously, the tiniest thing goes wrong and he's out there faking his death again. This man CANNOT handle setbacks.

Imagine now if Jervis caught him on that first lie, when he pretends to not be upset. Imagine he was forced to face the fact that he very much is upset. Imagine he had go through that emotion, instead of running away from it (to his ”grave”). If he actually sat through that emotion, he would find it isn't the end. It wasn't that bad. Life goes on. Jervis could never fix him, but I do think that he could make him more normal.

And what does Jervis get out of all this? Well, he gets to play with Hugo's nice round ass <3

[jae-birde]

doth thou have any OCs? and if you do I request that you rant about them. if you have a lot then rant about a few of your favorites.

If thee do not have OCs, I request of thee that thou rant about thous? favorite characters. tell me what fandom they're from and why thou liketh them

Okay, so I don't actually have any proper OCs (unless you count D&D characters, which I don't)

However for favourite characters? I have many. It comes from having many fandoms, but alas, 'tis the curse of being ADHD and autistic.

Currently, (as many of my reblogs may suggest), I am VERY into the Life Series, and Pearl from Double Life in particular, has VERY much gotten my brain going in ALL the best ways. And so, prepare for the rant under the cut (which is basically an analysis on Pearl throughout the season) that got a little too long

In the first episode, we see that Pearl genuinely never meant any ill intent to Scott. Before she even knew who her partner was, she went out of her way to protect them before she knew who it'd be. She defends her partner multiple times throughout the entire episode, both from damage and from when Martyn took a crack at her future soulmate, and she just goes, “No! You leave them alone!” Even when she starts taking a lot of damage because she was getting attacked, she starts apologizing profusely to her partner the whole time, even though she has no idea who they are. And then when they finally do find each other, she was so happy when she discovered it was Scott.

And then she saw the messy breakup that Cleo and Martyn had, but she thought that surely, surely she and Scott would team up, and Cleo could join them, and it'd be Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss again. And sure, it’s a different and new season, and there are new rules, but it’s still something so familiar that it’s almost like coming home because this is her team. The Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss trio was her ONLY TEAM. Pearl had only been a part of Last Life beforehand; she's genuinely never teamed with anyone else at this point. And the three of them are reunited for all of 10 seconds and she is just so happy to be there because she doesn’t realize that Scott was also leaving her.

The quiet realization, followed by Scott and Cleo both leaving her, just breaks my heart (and I know from an irl standpoint it was played up, but from a character standpoint, it's heartbreaking). The only thing she did "wrong" was go to the Nether with Martyn, which took a lot of pestering from him for her to even go. The whole time they were there, she was worried about their partners, trying to keep herself and Martyn safe, whilst Martyn was insisting that they go find a bastion, that they go to the fortress, that they do all of these things to put them in danger.

And then Martyn leaves her too. Even though he was the one at fault for their partners leaving them, and yet he also leaves her.

And then Pearl is left alone. She has no one else, but at least she has Tilly, right? Except Tilly dies within the first few minutes of episode 2.

And from there it just gets worse.

She has a brief alliance with BigB and Ren, but then she inadvertently causes their deaths, and they shun her. The Ranchers are nice to her, but they don't trust her after the way she stood in the powdered snow to "tickle" Scott. Any chance of an alliance with the Boat Boys is dashed by their deaths and her stealing Joel's chestplate. She doesn't have too much actual interaction with the Homewreckers from what I remember other than the fishing rod chain in front of their house and the pool party. Scar was basically her only "ally", and that was only for specific circumstances.

Pearl is basically alone for the entirety of the season, until the rest of the Divorce Quartet come to her as the only other yellows left.

And then the only people left are the four of them.

Martyn and Cleo go after Pearl, betraying her and attempting to kill her, but she manages to win the fight, killing Cleo while Martyn dies from his trapped base.

And Tilly is dead again.

And it's just Pearl and Scott left.

And Scott, the one who left her in the beginning, saw all that Pearl had gone through to make it to this point, and sacrifices himself so that she could win.

And Pearl herself says that she didn't believe they could do it, and with the way she acted and played, you can see why. Pearl builds her base to be defendable and to have what she needs. She's alone, with little to no allies at any point, and her only friend is Tilly, throughout the whole time. Looking at the series objectively, Pearl is clearly the underdog and one of the least likely to win.

And yet she does.

She makes it to the end, and thanks to Scott's sacrifice, she wins, ending up getting first place.

I love her character arc throughout the series, as well as her slow descent into insanity. She is a character who is driven to survive by spite. Spite against Scott and Cleo for leaving her, to prove that she can make it on her own. Spite against Martyn for ditching her after he was the one who convinced her to go to the Nether. Spite against every other player for turning their backs on her and leaving her on her own. And that spite drives her to win.

Sorry for how long this is, but I am extremely hyperfixated on the Life Series, and, as I've mentioned, I'm going to be writing a Double Life fic focused on Pearl eventually, so I have a lot of thoughts about her.

So... here's a thoughtdump about her! (If this wasn't what you asked for, then I apologize)

Thanks for sending in the ask!

[wouldntyou-liketoknow]

My EgoPats Meeting the Canon EgoPats (Brought To You by Incorrect Quotes)

Yep, I finally decided that this post deserved to be expanded on. So, to absolutely no-one's surprise, I gave it the ol' college try with memes.

___

[Caliban has just returned from visiting Theory Manor. He’s now ranting to Murdock about WarfPat]

Caliban: Listen to what one of my STUPID doppelgängers did! Caliban: Apparently one of his “guests” ended up dying in his studio, and he offered the body to me. And since we’ve been in-between jobs lately, I was like, “Sure, why not?” Caliban: So, I cooked the best parts, then I went to town. . .and every two minutes, he added salt. Caliban: And it was weird. It almost tasted like sweet potato. Caliban: I asked, “Did this guy eat a lot of candy before he died? Or was he on drugs?” Caliban: And Warf said, “Noooo.” Caliban: Every two minutes, he added salt, salt, sALT, SALT! It was like he wanted to poison me! Caliban: And when I finished eating, he asked, “How did you like the human flesh wiTH SUGAR?” Caliban: . . .HE USED SUGAR INSTEAD OF SALT! Caliban: *starts shaking Murdock by the lapels of his overcoat* SUGAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!

___

[The EgoPats are using an Ouija board] The Detective: Tell us. . .is there an otherworldly creature in this house or on its grounds? LeviathanPat: *is right outside the nearest window, but has decided to use his powers to speak through the board before he actually starts talking* ¥ê§. MadPat: Great! Rent is due on the first of the month. WarfPat: Oh, and movie night is on Friday if you want to hang out. LeviathanPat: *genuinely caught off-guard* . . .Wåï†, WHĆ—?!

___

Mack: So, for that party I told the guys about. . .do you, uh. . . Patty/DancePat: Oh, are you not sure how to dress for it? Mack: *panicked* WHAT IS CLOTHES???

___

[Caliban and The Hermit’s first meeting is going pretty well.]

The Hermit: —and then I said, “I didn’t realize that I would be having some guests. . .for dinner!” Caliban: *laughs* Ah, that’s a classic! Mack: *watching from a distance and ranting to The Detective* —no nO NO, we are NOT dealing with TWO OF THEM!

___

WarfPat: Hey, new guy! Trick or ye— LeviathanPat: *conjures an Uno Reserve card* ñÖ

___

The Detective: If I have to clean one more bloodstain from this carpet, I’m going to murder someone. Caliban: Sounds a little counterproductive.

___

The Detective: I'm not doing too well. Penn/Pennsylvania: What's wrong? The Detective: I have this headache that comes and goes. [LeviathanPat manifests outside the nearest window] The Detective: And there it is again.

___

The Hermit: What is toothpaste if not bone soap? Caliban: . . .You are a complete and total treasure. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.

___

Penn/Pennsylvania: We call that a traumatic experience. Penn/Pennsylvania: *turning to The Detective* Not a “bruh moment” Penn/Pennsylvania: *turning to The Hermit* Not “sadge” Pennsylvania: *turning to MadPat* And DEFINITELY not “oof lmao”

___

Mack: *scoffs* Clearly, you don’t own an air fryer. Clearly. Caliban: *chuckles dryly* I’m not gonna be talked down to by some arrogant, condescending, delusions-of-grandeur-prone SIDE-DISH. Caliban: If you want to insult me, go right ahead. But you have no idea how brutal that’s gonna get. You don’t even know my name! Caliban: *steps closer to Mack, almost getting in his face* I ' m t h e c o m b i n a t i o n o f y o u a n d a c r a z y i s l a n d h e r m i t f r o m a d i f f e r e n t t i m e l i n e .

___

The Detective: Define “dream”. LeviathanPat: Ðrêåm—†hê £ïr§† †hïñg þêðþlê åßåñÐðñ whêñ †hê¥ lêårñ hðw †hê wðrlÐ wðrk§. The Hermit: Oh, c’mon! That’s just too dark!

___

Ness: Do you support LGBTQIA+ rights? Patty/DancePat: . . .I’m literally a girlypop and exotic dancer?? WarfPat: He’s avoiding the question!

___

MadPat: Gatekeep, girlboss, and. . .what's the other one again? LeviathanPat: †hêrê ï§ñ'† åñð†hêr ðñê. ¥ðµ'rê ¢råz¥.

___

Caliban: He doesn’t deserve you! If he doesn’t treat you right by now, you’re gone! Ness: *taking a deep breath* I’m gone. Caliban: *nodding and grinning* Now gO CHOP HIS DICK OFF—

___

Penn/Pennsylvania: I can’t tell if you’re a genius or just incredibly arrogant. Mack: Well, on a good day, I’m both.

___

[The EgoPats are discussing a plan. Ozzie has taken his turn to speak, standing with a whiteboard at the head of the room] Ozzie: Anyone have any questions? Ness: Is this legal? Ozzie: . . .Anyone have any relevant questions?

___

The Detective: Are you seriously making human-bacon for breakfast?! Caliban: *looking away from the bacon-filled frying pan he’s using* Yeah. What’d you have for breakfast? The Detective: . . .Nothing. Caliban: *shrugs, returning his focus to the frying pan* I’m doing better than you, man.

___

Penn/Pennsylvania: What’s up with you? Mack: What do you mean? Penn/Pennsylvania: You’ve been nice and helpful and considerate all day. What’s your game?

___

[The Detective recently griped to Caliban about a recent case. Now Caliban is trying to convince The Detective to do something highly unconventional to make progress with said case.l]

Caliban: DO IT! The Detective: NOOOOO! GOD, PLEASE NO! Caliban: MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE! The Detective: NO! Caliban: JUST— The Detective: NO! Caliban: — D O I T ! The Detective: N O O O O O O O ! ! !

___

Patty/DancePat: I can't believe you've done this. . . Ness: I'm sorry, I didn't know—! Patty/DancePat: *on the verge of tears* YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE WHEN I HAVE NOTHING PREPARED FOR YOU IN RETURN! NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE JERK!

___

The Hermit: Onion rings are vegetable donuts. Mack: Sure. . . The Hermit: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed. Mack: Okay? The Hermit: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake. Mack: . . . The Hermit: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio— Mack: Jesus, that one is a little— Caliban: *was just passing through but is now interested* No, no. Let him continue

___

[A plan involving paranormal investigation has gone terribly wrong, and The Detective is almost out of options]

The Detective: *begrudgingly holding a dark ritual* If you are here, speak to us! LeviathanPat: *slowly manifests outside the window. . .and starts singing “Don’t Stop Believin’.” With each lyric, his voice shifts in a very disturbing way* JÚ§† Ä Ç̆-Ä¥ ßÖ¥! The Detective: *grinds his jaw, having even more regrets than before* LeviathanPat: ßÖRñ ÄñÐ RÄ̧ÈÐ Ìñ §ÖÚ†H—!

___

WarfPat: What kinds of sounds annoy you? Ozzie: Are we talkin’ real sounds or imaginary ones? WarfPat: *now interested* Lets say imaginary. Ozzie: Spiders wearin’ flip flops.

___

[MadPat is trying to talk killer-to-killer with Caliban. So far, he’s only succeeded in annoying Caliban]

MadPat: Every time I go out there, I feel like I do my best and they don’t! Caliban: *has heard all about how sloppy Mad’s methods are, how much evidence Mad always seems to leave behind, as well as how Mad trapped himself in a fire only to get caught by the police* Let me ask you a very fair question—What do you do successfully? MadPat: . . . Caliban: *raising an eyebrow* QUICKLY. MadPat: *scowls and storms off*

___

The Detective: You need a hobby. LeviathanPat: Ì ålrêåÐ¥ håvê å hðßߥ! The Detective: Terrorizing people is nOT A HOBBY!

___

Ness: Ducks are better than rabbits. Penn/Pennsylvania: What? Rabbits are adorable. Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? Ducks are jerks. WarfPat: Duck is delicious! Rabbit is all gamey. Ness: We’re not talking about flavor, Warf! WarfPat: Flavor counts! The Detective: Who carries around a duck’s foot for good luck? Anyone? Mack: You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. I’ll wrap myself in a comforter stuffed with duck feathers. Who’s cozier? Penn/Pennsylvania: Okay, but— Mack: NO, NO, NO, NO. WHO’S COZIER? MadPat: Why don’t we just take a rabbit and a duck, stick ‘em in a cardboard box and let them fight it out? Penn/Pennsylvania: BECAUSE THAT’S ILLEGAL! MadPat: ONLY IF WE BET ON IT! Caliban: *sitting in the adjacent room, listening in on the debate. He’s not sure if Snare could get roped into it, because Snare is a hare and not a rabbit, but he’s still holding him protectively* . . .

___

Ness: *calling up the stairs from the kitchen* I made lightly-fried fish fillets for dinner! The Detective: . . .Ness, it’s one-fifteen AM. What the hell? Ness: Do you guys want the lightly-fried fish fillets or not? Ozzie: *pokes his head out of one of the guest rooms* Well, I mean, yeah. Ness: So come downstairs before they get cold. Penn/Pennsylvania: *comes out of another guest room* Wait, you just made them? Ness: Yeah, I wasn’t tired, so I decided to make lightly-fried fish fillets. LeviathanPat: *has been watching/listening to all of this through the kitchen window* §å¥ "lïgh†l¥-£rïêÐ £ï§h £ïllꆧ" ðñê mðrê †ïmê.

___

Patty/DancePat: When you’re shopping at Lush and another customer comes in and bites one of the soap options because they think it’s cheese. . .I talked to one of the employees about it, and apparently this sort of thing happens way more frequently than you’d think. Mack: Well, if Lush stopped literally presenting soap as deli food, then this wouldn't happen so frequently. Patty/DancePat: Who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese??? The Detective: . . .Who goes to the deli section of a store and just takes a bite out of the cheese?!

___

[MadPat keeps trying to antagonize Caliban, as if THAT will somehow change Caliban’s opinion of him]

MadPat: *pacing the floor in front of Caliban* And I’m not gonna conversate with you! I’m not gonna invest time in— Caliban: *organizing some Black Market stuff on his laptop, not paying Mad too much attention* I think it’s “converse.” MadPat: . . .Huh? Caliban: *rolling his eyes* Just say “talk.”

___

Penn/Pennsylvania: I haven't slept in seventy-three hours. Ozzie: Eighty. Democratically elected leader of insomnia over here. MadPat: Bitch, it's been ninety for me. I'm going for an even one hundred. Ness: . . .You guys can be terrifying sometimes.

___

The Detective: Oh, you’re back from that outing. What’d you think of that Patty guy? Ness: I can’t remember how we got on the topic of beaches, but he referred to sand as "heterosexual glitter." The Detective: . . . Ness: I don't know how someone so awesome can be so anxious all the time!

___

Mack: You’re making fun of me now, aren’t you? Ozzie: What? Oh, no-no-no, Mack. I’d never—*suddenly points past Mack* MACK LOOK IT’S CALIBAN! Mack: *turns around in a panic* WHERE?! [As it turns out, Caliban is, in fact, nowhere to be seen] Mack: *blinks, pretty much frozen in place* Ozzie: *falls to the floor, laughing hysterically*

___

The Hermit: Let's all agree that going up the stairs on all fours is actually the best experience on earth. Penn/Pennsylvania: Conversely, going down the stairs on all fours is actually the most terrifying experience on earth.

___

Patty/DancePat: Yeah, so, my latest shift at the club was a little rough. Heh. . . Ness: *concerned* Why are you looking up? Patty/DancePat: I need to CRY, but my foundation cost FORTY-EIGHT DOLLARS.

___

The Hermit: How do ethical philosophers feel about murder? Ness: Well. . .I mean, it’s frowned upon. Caliban: Yeah, but what if the reason you want to murder someone is to make your life easier? The Hermit: *nodding along* That’s okay, right?

___

LeviathanPat: ¥ðµ kñðw whå† Ì’vê rêålïzêÐ? The Detective: Some thoughts are better left unsaid? LeviathanPat: ñï¢ê †r¥, åñ¥w套

___

Ness: So they were just using me? Penn/Pennsylvania: I’m sorry, Ness. Mack: *trying to contain his amusement* You must feel pretty stupid right now. Ness: . . . Penn/Pennsylvania: Okay, that’s a time-out. Mack: No, I was just trying to— Caliban: *using his meat cleaver to gesture to the corner of the room* Go sit over there! Mack: *walks away in defeat*

___

Mack: *entering the room, unable to see what's going on just yet* I’m going to dunk on you— Patty/DancePat: *is wearing heels AND is currently practicing some new pole-dancing moves* You’d better bring a ladder, then.

___

The Detective: *exhausted from supernatural shenanigans* Please, God, just let me have one peaceful day?! LeviathanPat: Öh m¥ GðÐ, ¥ðµ ågåïñ? Gïvê ï† å r꧆, ßµÐÐ¥! The Detective: I WASN’T TALKING TO YOU!

___

Penn/Pennsylvania: A riddle for you, my friend! So it’s raining, right? And you pass a bus stop. There are three people there—your most trustworthy friend, a pregnant lady who needs to go to the hospital, and the person of your dreams. However, your smart car only fits two people. What do you do? Ness: Oh, I’ve heard this one before! You lend the car to your friend so they can take the pregnant lady to the hospital, and then you stay at the bus stop with your dream person! Penn/Pennsylvania: Oh, so close, but wrong. The correct answer is as follows—you go home and reEVALUATE YOUR DAMN LIFE! Penn/Pennsylvania: *grabs Ness by the collar and starts playfully shaking him* YOU! BOUGHT! A! SMART! CAR!

___

[Caliban leads Mack over to a closet]

Mack: *walks into the closet* Um. . .what’s in here? Caliban: Oh, it’s just—*turns the room’s light off and grabs the door handle* —YOUR DEMISE. Mack: AHHHHH—! Caliban: *slams the door and locks it*

___

@sammys-magical-au @insane4fandoms @b-is-in-the-closet

[morally-grey-girlbosses]

Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum Propaganda Post

the epitome of gaslight gatekeep girlboss, made her own kingdom from biomass and rules it as kind of a dictator, this is called out in-narrative. She once made a task force of elite soldiers and when she came to the conclusion they were too violent she literally just killed them all and moved on. Convinced a king to keep his daughter socially isolated all of her life because she thought she'd be too dangerous, and then in that same kingdom nerely started a war because she just HAD to deface their sacred relics out of fear that they'd be turned into weapons.

She's a borderline dictator who fashioned herself a kingdom entirely populated by her own bioengineered citizens. Her first appearance features her experimenting on corpses. She had to care for herself and her brother in a post apocalyptic wasteland immediately after being spawned from a hive mind. She made a family for herself and they betrayed her and now she trusts nobody. She crushed her robot police force into a cube because they were too brutal. She spies on literally everybody. She's been tired for a very long time. She loses control of her kingdom after losing an election because she's too focused on the comet thats about to crash into the world and regains control after the new princess flees when vampires attack. She does everything out of genuine belief she is doing the right thing. She stops spying on people. She's trying to colonise space because she's paranoid the world is going to end. She's constantly aware of every threat to her kingdoma nd her people and wants nothing more than to protect them. She went to war with her own uncle. She's made of candy. She's even a lesbian.

She built her kingdom from the ground up herself after the family she created betrayed her. She's accomplished this though a lot of war crimes and scientific affronts to God. No, seriously. She created life on a whim and discards it just as easily, her experiments are sentient and yet she holds to remorse against killing them en mass, trapping them in a sort of psychic limbo, or straight up abandoning them. She loves to play with life. But she actually does care about her citizens, who she keeps intentionally stupid in order to keep control. She also holds control by spying on everyone, having cameras in kingdoms that aren't even her own, and gps trackers on all her people. She will sabotage and meddle in the affairs of other kingdoms so her own can prosper. She's called a dictator and a fascist on multiple occasions. She pushes the people in her life away to focus on this. And she's gay.

Created an entire civilization from scratch because she was lonely, then surveillance stated the hell out of them. Also did like a bunch of other morally questionable things but the surveillance state is the only one I can remember off the top of my head and I can't be bothered to look anything up right now. Despite this, she's a supporting protaganist who helps the heroes at least as much as she fucks things up for them. All This has lead to the most ice-cold video essay take that she's "THE REAL VILLAIN OF THE SHOW" no, you fucking idiot, she's a Morally Gray Girlboss