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#get FUCKED joker
nerd-in-gotham · 2 years
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Sorry I've been inactive, Gotham U got attacked (again) by Joker and I was taken hostage for the Bat!! Luckily I'm mostly fine now but it's been a little bit while I recovered. I got a high five from Red Robin though so like. Worth it
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spectral-honey · 2 years
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AU where Jason gets his revenge by becoming a lawyer and getting joker sentenced to the death penalty
Bruce is conflicted about it but any time he tries to say anything on the subject Alfred just talks over him like "oh we're so proud of you master Jason you finished college and you didn't even use your father's extensive resources that could've easily gotten someone in this family a degree aren't we so proud master Bruce that Jason got himself a respectable profession--"
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kamwashere · 4 months
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whoever runs the verified batman account in instagram needs their ass ate cause these are hilarious
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puppetmaster13u · 3 months
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Prompt 139
So. Dan has somehow found a small child. A practically newly born ghostling who had literally fallen right on top of him. A ghostling who had practically formed right above him, far away from nurseries and instead above him of all ghosts? 
Him, the Sunkiller? The Worldeater? Jordan Vladimir FentonNightingale-Foley-Manson? Son of Space and War? Bringer of the End?? Seriously, what the hell! Ghostlings shouldn’t even be able to form within other ghost’s Lairs, and he knew for a fact this wasn’t his own ghostling seeing as he wasn’t interested in such things. 
So here Dan is, feeling more confused than he ever has with a newborn ghostling clinging to him and sobbing in his arms about wanting his dad. What even is his unlife right now.
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cyrwrites · 3 months
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There's Irony In The Little Things
The world gets reset, but some memories just don't go away.
A child again, Jason Todd knows three things for certain:
- the Joker is going to kill him one day;
- he's never going to have a perfect family;
- and Batman is going to be his damnation.
Two people in that list live in Gotham, so Jason does the smart thing, packs his things, and marches himself to Bludhaven. He thinks that it's going to be easy to fall through the cracks there.
Pity no one told him about Nightwing and his increasing fascination with runaway children that so happen to have the name Jason.
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hellafluff · 3 days
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Garrus' interactions with Shepard post-Thessia are so fucking well written. Everyone else is telling Shepard they're sorry or doing a soft sad voice asking if she's okay but Garrus has this moving little speech about how losing a fight isn't the end of the war and I just. He's so fucking good. He knows what Shepard needs to hear and has the experience to back up the things he says. He's so good to her
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annakarenina · 1 year
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Alice, you’ve disappeared, like everything else. Who else can I talk to? I’m lost.
New Moon 2009, dir. Chris Weitz
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easyaesthetics · 1 year
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Sometimes a family is you, your rival/gay lover, an unethical doctor, the girl he gaslit and a cat :)
(Credit to @sad-thief-noises for the Metaverse Joker sprites!)
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nelkcats · 11 months
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Earthquake in space-time
When Flash reset time to resolve everything that happened in Flashpoint, he didn't realize how much he was messing up the Infinite Realms. Which were trembling and thousands of portals were opening from one moment to another, portals that led to all moments in time, connected to all dimensions.
Clockwork and Danny weren't enough to hold all the glitches. The ghost king was draining all his energy just to keep the ruptures at bay in the Realms but at some point it wasn't enough.
The main cause, the DC universe was suddenly invaded by multiple portals in time. Different versions of themselves endlessly opening and closing. This became critical when the dimensions began to collide and even the ghosts dared to enter.
Bruce was freaking out watching his father (as Batman?) and his mother (The Joker ???) adopting a jokerized Tim and a ghost Jason. Constantine was wondering how to solve the dilemma when Clockwork appeared through a portal in the middle of the Watchtower meeting room.
Constantine debated whether he should stop the Ghost God from killing Flash. That didn't seem sorry at all. And when he was about to do something, a boy stood between them.
"We don't know how to solve this and it's your fault," the boy said, the dark circles in his eyes were obvious, "but if you don't solve it, we'll take the Speedforce away from you, this is a fucking disaster, no more resets bitch."
And without more to say, he passed out in the arms of his mentor. Was it the end of the Speedsters?
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Court case for the jokers punishment
So the joker got an infection and eventually kicked the bucket
Bruce is nutral if a little sad
Jason is pissed he couldn't kill him
And all of the other batfam are releived that the jokers not out and about anymore, and atleast the family fight on the joker ends
During a family meeting to discuss the jokers death a Lazarus pit opened up and a...butler? Servent? Footman? Who knowes! someone in a suit...
Oh and he was floating off the ground and translucent
The batfam were on high alert and instant attack mode, damian tried to stab the guy and ended up tumbling through him
Bruce walked up and intended to intimidate him, but the guy walked through him...and right for jason
:you are jason todd, correct
:why do'you care
:you are the jason todd killed by the joker and reserected by currupted ectoplasm, correct
:my death is none of your business!
:mr todd, as a victem of the joker you are entiteled to a say in the jokers punishment
The whole room got quiet, jason was freaking out but...also calm. The pit was reacting to this guy like...comradery? Companionship? It wasent negative but not positive either
Bruce was still trying to intimidate the guy into giving them answers
Tim and dick were just staring
and damian was making another swing with his sword
:w-what do you mean, jokers punishment ???
The guy pulled out a seat and told everyone to sit, he pulled out a file and put it in front of jason, bruce went to grab it but the guy slapped his hand away
:only mr todd and trusted members of the ghost kings high court may read it
That was the first time he acknowledged bruce and he didnt like being ignored, jason couldn't hold in his chuckle at B getting frustrated
Slowly jason picked up the file and began to read, the paper on the top was a basic file of jason todd before he died, age,school, adoption date, birth place basic things though the thing that stood out was the words at the bottom
Cause of death: joker
Following it was the date, time, wepon and location of his death
He flipped to the next page and saw a similar file to robin, the day he started training, his first day out, how he met bruce, an analysis of his fighting gear from that time, his patrol rout
And at the bottom was the same thing with the same information
Cause of death: joker
Jason was starting to worry why he wasent freaking out about this file he was kinda a numb giddy if that made sense, the batfam were all looking at him expectingly and the butler guy was just watching him
:why are you watching me??
: oh, you see, some ghosts tend to...loose themselves a bit when confronted with...sensitive information, I'm just making sure you wont panic
That got a look from dick and tim, bruce just "hmm"ed and damian was still glaring at the guy
Jason turned to the next page and saw another thing like the last pages, except this one was much more recent, age, height, the day he came back to the public eye,
But there was alot more concerning writing
Death date, date of reserection, level of corruption, death age, core growth, manifested abilities
Jason gave a look to the guy but didnt freak out, though everyone at the table saw the look and was starting to get concerned, jason didnt know what to make of the information let along what it ment
He turned the page and saw one for red hood, age, number of wepons, occupation, date he made his davew, number of times he tried to kill the joker, ect;
Jason tried to ignore all the things that stood out and gave him a sinking feeling and the pit had an...odd reaction
He flipped a page and rather than another log thing there were pictures, mostly id photos and things accessible to the public, but there were also alot of photos that looked like tim took them when he was playing watchdog
He flipped the page and read the following:
You jason todd, due to the crimes and atrocities commiced to you by john, kur aka:the joker
One week after the jokers death he will be tryed and condemed for his actions, and dispite the unusual circumstances surounsing your existence you are entiteled to a say in how the joker is punished
Due to your previous and current occupation you have much more sway over the outcome of the trial then most of his other victmes though they will still have their say
You will not be forced to attend any trial or judgement, as this selecting processes is voluntary and you may reject having any involvement in the case of the jokers soul, condemnation or punishment
And dew to your unique standing with parties that for whatever reason (the big bad bat, you know who) may want to joker to get a lighter sentence than diserved the batman will not have nor get any power or say over the conditions of the joker. he will not have any say and you do not have to lisen to him on any matters concerning this trial
I thank you for your time and any question you may have berry( the ghost who delivered this to you) will answer any and all questions
High king of the infinet realms: phantom
P.S: most people in the infinite realmes kinda have a grudge against the batman so don't be shocked if berry dose something to him
Jason closed the file, handed it back to berry and just...sat there for a good 5 minutes
:mr todd do you have any questions you need answering
l:... I've been out of the loop d'ya think you could...give the the details of...whatevers going on...and what court trial for the jokers soul?
:ah i can do that mr todd.
So 24 hours ago the joker passed away, dew to the ambient ectoplasm in gothem he bacame a ghost in the infinite realms
At jasons confused look he said he'd explain later
:the high king of the infinet realms immediately had his soul captured and he is currently waiting for his trial
The joker has killed alot of people in the infinite realms and they want their pound of fleash, and king phantom is beyond willing to give it to them
So anyone willing is going to his trial next week to condem him
You were killed by the joker and are under unique circumstances, in fact it was up in the air weather to let you have a say or not, but you were dead and thus entitled to a say in his punishment
Because you fought the joker and died to protect gothem you have a larger sway over the outcome than most
:... so what your saying is... i can fuck over the joker even when hes dead?
:yes
:hhahaha hell yeah!!!
Jason jumped up and started laughing like a lunitic, now it made sence why the pit was giddy, it knew he'd finally get his pound of fleash and B couldn't do shit!!!
Batman: that cant be fair
: whyever not
: he's already dead just let him rest
:after all the things he's done...never
: he's already been punished leave him be
That was the wrong thing to say as berry jumped out of the chair, knocking it over and jamming the table into the rest of the batfams ribs
:HES BEEN PUNISHED, WHAT WAY HAS HE BEEN PUNISHED
:he die-
:WE ALL DIED!! HE'S DIED, I'VE DIED, HELL YOU'VE DIED! That dose not excuse his crimes! Besids! What do you think he'd do in the infinite realms! Think you egotistical furrie a madman with no punishment, developing powers and access to multiple universes! Its a disaster waiting to happn you idiot
:it's still unfair, i will stop it
: how moron! you have no say in this you are naither a victme or a trusted member of the high kings court, you have no power
:then I'll talk to this king
:*snort* sure you will...mr todd do you have anymore questions?
Jasons giddiness froze at being put on the spot so suddenly he froze mid-cackle and had to stand properly before he answered berrys question
J: uhh... how to i get to the trial, thing on the right time
: a servent will escourt you,AND ONLY YOU, to the event. Good day and fuck you!!
Berry opened a portal, stepped through and gave bruce the finger
Everyone kinda stared at where the portal was, jason was the one to break the silence by giggling
: hahaha i still get to fuck over the joker and, for once, you can't stop me, later you egotistical furrie
Jason ran to his bike and floored it out of the batcave, he has to plan
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cursedzucchini · 1 year
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DC x DP prompt #5
This is so dumb but Danny is Bruce's uncle.
And not in the Danny is old or whatever, no, my dude is 15 looks like he's 13 and when he was running away from home, he met this really really old lady which looked at him, looked at his wounds and went "aight I'm adopting u"
Danny thought she was a ghost and this was her obsession, so imagine his surprise when it turned out that not only this lady was alive, but also supposedly from very influential family??? Danny wasn't sure Abt that one, bc he himself never heard abt these "Waynes" like that just sounds weird, but hey. It made the lady happy so.
Anyway they part ways, bc the lady only wanted to adopt not care, and Danny decides, hey now that I have a new fam, maybe i should get to know them or something?
Well imagine his surprise when he found out some guy in his fifties is supposedly his nephew and has like bazillion kids.
Idk what happens next yada yada sheniganas happen and than Danny ends up in Gotham. And meets Bruce Wayne. Who obviously sees young child w si gns of abuse, black hair, blue eyes and is immidietly like "aight I'm adopting u" (like grandma like grandson huh)
Only this time, Danny is sure he isn't a ghost, and has a counter argument "u can't adopt me I'm ur uncle" and immidietly flees bc dealing w his problems isn't something he does.
Cue confused batfam or stuff idk, I'm so tired and this is just an excuse for crack
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THE BAND SINGING UMAZANE MISLI [x]
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bruciemilf · 1 year
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Maybe nasty horrific on screen gay sex will be allowed if Battinson gets this Harvey Dent in the next movie
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BIG BOY I WANT A BIG BOY GIMME A BIG BOOOOYYY
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jstodd · 2 months
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the thing i find so frustrating about the batman doesn't kill thing is that it’s not JUST in relation to batman. bruce not wanting to have the power of life and death in his hands, on his shoulders, is REASONABLE. (i dont agree cuz of the whole concept of vigilantes but irrelevant)
what makes the beef between him, jason, and the joker so insane is that jason gives him 2 options, "kill him, or let me do it."
bruce has the option to stand aside, look away, and he doesn’t. he hordes the responsibility as if the problem isnt jason's, but his own. He makes the deliberate choice to insert himself in a way that does irreversible damage. and he does it more than once. he does it each and every time jason's morals and actions dont align with his own.
instead of standing aside, bruce injects himself, and he chooses the side that allows him to feel both correct and "righteous" anger -- and lashes out. and not only does he lash out in a way he would say is too far or out of line for anyone else, but he doesn’t openly acknowledge, regret, or apologize for his actions. because nothing compares to the ultimate evil.
and you could say him being a bystander is just as bad, but bruce is a bystander in his daily life, REGUARLY.
bruce has the kind of money and influence that is life changing for hundreds. the exact kind of money and influence that could eradicate homelessness, or at the very least, hunger, but he doesn’t do that. he chooses instead to "help" how he wants to dish out help. every project he takes on either has to benefit batman, or go thru batman.
either way bruce reminds me of that one quote about elon musk where it's like, "he wants to save the world, but only the way he wants to save it"
bruce's hypocrisy is a neverending tragedy
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puppetmaster13u · 8 months
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Can't stop thinking about This prompt/au lol
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I almost like to think that Clockwork kind of half-sent Danny to the ghost-world version of Gotham because he was struggling and is honestly just a kid and could use some guidance. And with how the Observants dislike him to the point of murder, CW sure couldn't keep him in Long Now. But Gotham? Now there's a place that not many go, thanks to curses running amok, a very dangerous City Spirit, and amalgamations of fallen Guardians and Rogues. It's chaotic, dangerous, and a hell of a shot, but the Bat could, and most probably would assist the newborn guardian. The living world and the infinite are intertwined after all, influenced by whatever realm it drifts closest to.
Thankfully Danny seems to be enjoying himself- he has a proper ghost friend now! And he's starting to be able to understand Batblob's cacophony of Silent-EverSilent-Gurgles-DistantWhispers-QuietScreamsSilence easier too without Robin translating. (His Ghost-Speak is getting so good :D) He wishes he could bring Sam & Tucker but it's a little too far into the ghost zone. And the ghosts and Vlad doesn't bother him here! (The last time he tried, unknown to Danny, the older halfa was met with a malicious swarm of teeth and maws ready to rip and tear and not lose another child again-) He's even gotten shown the exits to the living-world's Gotham. Robin likes to ramble about the new and different living-robins and about their friend who was also a robin and who disappeared one day and whose core they carry on their belt. Maybe he can help them find out what happened to him...
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petite-phthora · 10 months
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Do you think it was a date?
[DP x DC fic]
[Love at first... murder? - part 5]
<< Prev | Next >>
Part 1
Ao3
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In-chat nicknames:
Daniel = Danny
Sharpshooter = Jazz
TooFine= Tucker
Chaos = Sam
TheCoolerDaniel = Danielle/Dani/Ellie
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Private chat nicknames:
Bill = Danny
Pants = Jazz
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As soon as Danny enters his apartment, face bright red, he takes his head into his hands and lets out a silent scream.
He could have said anything, and he panicked and went with Toodealoo Kangaroo???
At this rate, he’ll never get a partner.
As Danny stands there in misery, his phone starts buzzing with messages. Curious, he checks his phone to see what going on.
Uh oh.
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Team Phantom 👻😎
Chaos: Guys check this out
Chaos: *link*
Chaos: The Joker escaped from Arkham again, but no one’s heard anything of him since, nor have they been able to find him
TooFine: @Daniel 👀
TooFine: ok the @ had been a joke but the fact that he has read it and not replied is concerning
Sharpshooter: @Daniel, what did you do?
Sharpshooter: @Daniel
Sharpshooter: I can see that you’re reading this, don’t ignore me.
TooFine: ohhhh someones in troubleee 👀
Sharpshooter: Tucker.
TooFine: 🤐
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Danny takes a deep breath.
Well, it’s now or never. Let’s hope Jazz is feeling merciful.
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Private chat
Bill: ok so you know how you said you would still love me if I was a worm?
Pants: I have no clue how this ties into the previous conversation, but yes. Why?
Bill: hypothetically
Bill: would you also still love me if I
Bill: hypothetically
Bill: accidentally
Bill: vibe checked someone that tried to uh
Bill: hypothetically
Bill: kidnap and or kill me??
Bill: 🥺🥺🙏
Pants: Danny, did you accidentally kill the Joker?
Bill: yes or no Jazz??!? 😩🥺
Pants: Yes, Danny. I would still love you if you, hypothetically, accidentally killed the Joker.
Bill: this is why you’re my favorite sister 🥹🥰😘
Bill: don’t tell Ellie 😳🫣
Pants: Danny, what happened?
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Danny lets out a sigh of relief before proceeding to tell Jazz what happened.
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Pants: Oh Danny.
Bill: are you mad at me?
Pants: I’m not mad at you, I just want you to stay safe.
Pants: While I don’t condone murder, I understand that it was self-defense and an accident. I‘m just glad that you’re alright.
Bill: 🥰💞😘
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With a small smile on his face, Danny goes back to the groupchat.
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Team Phantom 👻😎
Daniel: you know
Daniel: if I had a nickel for every time I’ve had to fight off an insane clown that attacked me 🤡
Daniel: I’d have two nickels
Daniel: which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice, right? 🤔
Chaos: Damnit Danny, we leave you alone in a new city for a week and you already manage to get into a fight with one of Gotham City’s most infamous rogues
TooFine: actually its been 6 days 10 hours and 17 minutes
TooFine: so not even a full week yet
Chaos: Did you at least get a good few punches in?
Chaos: Danny?
TooFine: @Daniel ???
TooFine: if i had a nickel for every time danny said something concerning and then didnt provide context id be richer than vlad
Daniel: anyway, for completely unrelated reasons, @TooFine I need you to wipe some cams for me 😃
TooFine: danny im not wiping the cams again so no one will have proof of you tripping backward and falling ass-first into a trashcan
Chaos: Speaking of, Tucker do you still have that footage and can you send it to me?
TooFine: already done
Daniel: noo it’s nothing like that this time 😫
Daniel: pleaseeee 🥺🙏🙏
Daniel: I’ll get you an autograph from Tim Drake-Wayne?
TooFine: deal.
Daniel: 🥳🎉
Daniel: ok so the footage from somewhere around 3 am last night
Daniel: around some place named park row??
Daniel: I think it’s called?? 🤔
Daniel: though I’m pretty sure I’ve also heard some people refer to it as crime alley
Daniel: not sure why tho 🤷
TooTine: aye aye captain o7
Chaos: Danny, in an alley getting attacked by the fucking Joker: I wonder why this place is called crime alley
Daniel: stop bullying me 😠
Chaos: No
TooFine: hey danny r u sure thats right? i checked the cams n stuff but theres no available footage from the area n time u described
TooFine: its like someones already wiped it all
Daniel: oh!
Daniel: that’s so sweet of him  😊
Chaos: Wait who is this ‘him’?
TooFine: the joker????
Daniel: oh no not the Joker
Daniel: just some cute guy I met last night  
Daniel: he witnessed me killing the Joker 🫣
Daniel: and didn’t call the cops on me afterward 🥰💞
TooFine: def green flag
Chaos: Oh hell yeah, he’s a keeper
Chaos: Wait you killed the Joker?! I thought you just fought him off!
Daniel: it was an accident!! 😭😭
Daniel: he crept up on me and tried to grab me 😓
Daniel: so I got startled and because all I saw was a clown
Daniel: I just kinda punched his face in with my ghost strength… 😰
TooFine: f
Chaos: f
Sharpshooter: Have you gotten rid of the body yet? Did you leave behind DNA at the crime scene? Will I need to start saving up bail money or getting ready to enact the Fenton Break Out plan?
Chaos: Jazz asking the important questions here
Daniel: well, considering the footage was wiped
Daniel: and also the fact that no one’s found him yet
Daniel: I think it’s safe to assume it’s all taken care of
Daniel: that’s honestly really sweet of him though 🥰😊
TooFine: oohhhhh ur mystery boo??
Daniel: yeah, this random guy saw me vibe-checking the Joker
Daniel: and let me go home without any trouble
Daniel: pretty sure he’s the one who wiped the cams 🤔
Daniel: and then today he showed up at my apartment with flowers 🥺
Daniel: they were sweat peas!!!! 🥰🤩
Chaos: Was that to thank you for the murder orrrr?
Sharpshooter: Oh those are your favorite, was that on purpose?
Daniel: well I didn’t tell him
Daniel: so I’m not sure if he knew or if it was a coincidence 🤷
Daniel: but yeah then he took me out to this restaurant called Pete’s for dinner
Daniel: they had some amazing cannoli
Daniel: you should try it sometime if you get the chance
Daniel: and then after dinner he took me to the observatory!!!!!!! 🤩🥰
Sharpshooter: Gotham observatory?
Sharpshooter: Isn’t that the one with the special telescope, I think you mentioned it before
Daniel: yeah, the crystal-powered telescope!! 😍💞✨🤩❤️
Daniel: and at the end, he brought me home
Daniel: and he asked for my number!!!
TooFine: nice dude!
Chaos: The guy really went all-out and planned your dream date hu? So, what’s this mystery hunk’s name?
Daniel: oh I’m not sure, I didn’t ask 🙃🤭
Sharpshooter: Danny…
Daniel: yes?
Sharpshooter: Did you go on a date with a complete stranger who witnessed you commit a murder?
Chaos: How do you not even know his name?
Daniel: two words Jazz: Johnny 13
Daniel: and he’s not a stranger!! 😠
Sharpshooter: But you don’t know his name?
Chaos: We just can’t leave him alone, can we? Less than a week on his own and he already murdered one of Gotham’s most infamous rogues and then completely forgets the concept of Stranger Danger
Daniel: I mean he probably just found it when he tried to do some research on me or something
Daniel: probably got it from the school’s system now that I think of it 🤔
TooFine: dude who the hell is this guy??
Chaos: Who the fuck did you go on a date with?
Daniel: do you really think it was a date? 🥺😳
Daniel: I wasn’t sure
Daniel: cause he mainly took me out for dinner to thank me for the night before
Daniel: but then again
Daniel: he did get me flowers and ask for my number after he brought me back to my apartment 🤔
Daniel: like I wasn’t sure if I was reading the signals right…..
Daniel: but do you think that was a date? 🫣
Sharpshooter: Danny, for the love of the Ancients.
Sharpshooter: Who was it?
Daniel: oh, it was Red Hood 🥰
TooFine: damn dannys got that vigilante rizz
Sharpshooter: Red Hood? The crime lord?!
TooFine: former, actually
Daniel: what he said ^^
Chaos: Danny, you really have a type huh? Vigilantes with a Red theme. Who’s next? Red Robin?
Daniel: stop bullying me
TooFine: never
Chaos: Never
Daniel: on a different note, who changed my name in the chat again?
Sharpshooter: Ellie did.
Chaos: Ellie
TooFine: @TheCoolerDaniel
TheCoolerDaniel: 😎
TheCoolerDaniel: wait i just read back, danny’s dating a crime lord?? :0 👀
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Taglist (for now, I’ll probably stop if I cant keep up):
@i-always-say-yea  @uraniumwizard
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