#get your act together Wahn

[textuallee]

Who’s Wahn and Why’s Namaari So Mad at Him?

Who’s Wahn? This guy...

...who gets a smackdown for questioning why they’re out there.

This scene is where we see Namaari for the first time after she breaks Raya’s trust. She’s now an intimadating warrior, apparently one with an explosively short fuse who smacks around her own underling for daring to question her. Her treatment of Wahn further frames Namaari as the villain of the story.

But I feel this picture doesn’t quite match up with the Namaari that’s revealed by the end of the movie—poised and well-mannered, passionate and expressive but restrained and disciplined. She’s certainly an angry teen (as the screenplay describes her)...

...but taking out her anger through physical violence like she does to Wahn? Namaari only shows such behavior towards one other person—Raya, her nemesis born of a complicated and traumatic history, the one pushes her buttons.

(In fact, while making the above image, I realized that even the angry faces Namaari makes are mostly directed at Raya. Of the 9 screenshots I chose, only the bottom right one isn’t—that’s from when Tong calls her “the one who slayed Sisu.” Namaari’s anger issues are definitely tied to Raya and we’ll talk more about that below.)

So I wondered why Namaari’s so mad at Wahn. What buttons did he push?

Then I noticed that Wahn isn’t dressed like the other Fang soldiers:

But there is someone dressed just like him...

...the guard watching one of the gates of Fang Palace.

So with this in mind, let’s talk about how Wahn may have triggered Namaari’s anger.

A. What Is Wahn?

Well, we can safely guess that Wahn isn’t just a soldier in the royal army—he’s a palace guard.

We can also speculate that he was probably the guard on duty when Raya infiltrated the palace to steal the dragon scroll, by incapacitating him and using his key to get inside (much like Noi and the Ongis). Being sent on the dangerous task of chasing the thief through Druun-infested lands would have been the punishment for failing his duty.

Supposing the above, we can explain the harshness of Namaari’s reaction when he suggests that they forget about Raya and the scroll. Instead of making up for his failure by capturing the thief and recovering what was stolen, he’s trying to shorten his punishment by convincing Namaari to abandon their mission.

What’s worse is that he’s still displaying the complacency and negligence that led to his failure to guard the gate and prevent the theft. He doesn’t even see that retrieving the scroll isn’t what’s truly at stake. Because what makes their mission worth the risk is keeping Fang safe by determining what Raya’s up to and neutralizing any threat may she pose by capturing her.

B. Why Is Namaari So Angry?

It’s important to note that chasing Raya is manifestly a threat response for Namaari. Twice, she fiercely demands to know what Raya’s up to, why she’s stealing gem pieces. To Virana, she worriedly insists that Raya shouldn’t be underestimated and must be stopped.

So first, Namaari shows anger, especially when Raya evades her. Then, safely at home and to her trusted mother, she reveals a more vulnerable underlying emotion—fear.

Yet Raya doesn’t seem to have done anything so very threatening. She did successfully infiltrate Fang, but only to steal a scroll that's not useful for anything. Stealing the gem pieces is more concerning, but it’s not like they do anything other than repelling the Druun (and Fang is well-protected from the Druun by water).

Virana (who’s all about keeping Fang safe) certainly isn’t very worried about what Raya's up to. She advises Namaari not to make emotional decisions, implying that her need to stop Raya is irrational. And Namaari, unable to offer evidence to the contrary, pivots her argument to the benefits of gaining more gem pieces, in order to convince Virana to lend her the royal army.

Then why is Namaari so afraid? Why does she view Raya as a threat that must be dealt with? Because she caused Raya so much harm and irreparable loss. Her attempt to take the dragon gem led to the breaking of Heart and the world. And Raya came back to life from presumed death, broke into Fang, and took what was used to lead her to treachery. And Namaari doesn’t know what this ghost risen from her past sins will do if not stopped. Guilt leads to fear and fear leads to anger.*

Namaari’s guilt is so deeply repressed that it mostly only surfaces in the form of fear and anger. And—rather than proving a lack of remorse—her treatment of Raya as a threat, her angry and fearful gestures of aggression, can be understood as the product of a deep and overwhelming sense of guilt that she’s unable to properly process or express.

(*That’s not to say that Namaari’s psychology can be reduced to this simple formula. There's more going on, like how the problem of scapegoating factors into her aggressive defensiveness. And the pull of shared connection and attraction, of course, which complicates things even more.

To dig a bit deeper, I refer you to an article by an actual psychologist: “Anger: How We Transfer Feelings of Guilt, Hurt, and Fear.” Applying this article’s insight to Namaari’s case, we can also explain her anger as a psychological defense used to distance herself from distressing experiences such as feeling afraid, powerless, accused, guilty, ashamed, untrustworthy, unloveable, etc.)

C. Back to Wahn

Let’s wrap up this discussion by counting the buttons that Wahn manages to push:

1. “the Tail lands are infested with Druun” (Yes, an entire land has been destroyed by a plague caused by Namaari’s actions. Duly noted. Two down, three left.)

2. “Benja’s daughter is as good as stone” (Might as well have said, ‘lol Raya’s totally gonna die and, hey, remember how she lost her father thanks to you?’)

3. "useless dragon scroll” (Not that Namaari believes Sisu’s still out there, like some 12-year-old, but nobody likes to be reminded that there’s no way to fix the world they broke.)

4. Putting their safety before before their duty and mission. (A quality that Princess Selfless-Hero-Complex wouldn’t appreciate in her palace guard, especially one who failed at his job.)

5. Failing to treat a threat to Fang seriously. (See sections A & B.)

Namaari: Anyone else wanna push my buttons? (#incorrect quotes #Raya don’t)

[uzumaki-rebellion]

“Wet Sugar” [Part 24 of 30]

"Every time I make a run, Girl you turn around and cry, I ask myself why oh why, See you must understand, I can't work a 9 to 5, So I'll be gone 'til November,

Said I'll be gone 'til November, I'll be gone' til November, Yo tell my girl I'll be gone 'til November, I'll be gone 'til November, I'll be gone 'til November, Yo tell my girl I'll be gone 'til November, Janurary, Feburary, March, April, May, I see you crying but girl I can't stay…"

Wyclef Jean – "Gone 'til November"

"Shh…don't move. Stay still…"

Erik looked down at Sydette who sat next to him hidden behind some large bushes.

Sydette rocked on her backside to move closer to him. She patted his arm.

"Mama coming?" she whispered.

"Yeah…here she comes. Shh…"

They both turned to peek through the leaves as they heard Yani walking down the path to the cove. Her head turned left and right as she tried to find any clues to where they were hiding. Sydette's right hand clutched at her mouth as she bounced next to him, her eyes shining with excitement.

"She can't see us…" Sydette said leaning into him.

"Nope."

Yani passed them by and Erik gave Sydette a high five.

"C'mon, let's go hide in another spot. Remember…quiet all the way baby girl."

He bent down and clasped her hand in his as they moved in stealth mode in the opposite direction.

"This time I want you to hide by yourself, okay?"

"'Kay," Sydette said looking up and watching his eyes with intense concentration.

"Look for a good place," he whispered.

"Like Jerome?"

"Yeah, like Jerome. So Mama can't see again…"

Erik watched Sydette scurry behind the bushes lined up against the wall that led up to the pool.

"Move back baby girl, I can still see your shirt and jeans."

Sydette scooted further back until he couldn't see her at all.

"Don't make a sound," he said moving away from her.

He walked up the stairs that led to the pool and positioned himself where he could see the bushes and the path that Yani would come up. Erik texted Yani to let her know that Sydette was hiding by herself around the middle house grounds.

He heard leaves rustling and soon Yani emerged from the hidden path. She looked around carefully and he allowed her to see him up at the pool area. She spent at least ten minutes walking around the entire area, and when she circled back around, she gave closer inspection to the bushes and trees around the pool wall. Yani looked up at him and shrugged her shoulders. Erik frowned and tilted his head. He leaned over the pool wall and looked down to where Sydette had chosen to hide. Yani saw his eyes look there and she took another peek.

"I can't find her," Yani said.

Erik walked down the steps and went directly to where he last saw her.

"She was right there," he said. He thought for sure her bright yellow shirt would give her away. Yani pushed plants and flowers aside and Erik scanned the area using his own keen skills.

"Killmonger…where is she?"

Yani's voice held a touch of panic.

"Sydette!" he called out.

"Sweet Pea!" Yani shouted.

They split up and searched section by section of the middle grounds, each tree, bush, and flowering plant.

"Let me go put some shoes on and we'll go back down toward the cove," Erik said jogging up the pool steps. Yani was right behind him. They rounded the pool and came to a halt when they heard soft giggles.

Eyes scanning the pool, they rested on a dirty pool towel tossed inside a large hamper.

Erik and Yani walked to the hamper.

"Sweet Pea?" Yani said.

They saw the hamper move slightly and more giggles erupted.

Erik lifted up the towel.

"Boo!" Sydette's big black eyes twinkled at them as she gave them another giggle fit after surprising them.

"Little gyal!" Yani said reaching down and lifting her daughter up.

Erik stared at Sydette flabbergasted. How the hell did she get past him without him noticing her moving and climbing into the hamper? He was standing less than ten feet away from the hamper.

"How come you didn't answer when I called?" Yani said.

"Baba say be quiet. So yuh can't find me."

Yani stared at Erik and he found himself grinning with pride. Stealth mode for real.

Erik glanced over the pool wall and tried to fathom how he didn't see her bright yellow shirt moving among the dark green plants or the slate gray stairs…

He looked at Sydette again. She wasn't wearing the shirt.

"Where's your shirt Sweet Pea?" Erik asked.

Rocking her little tan undershirt, Sydette pointed back at the hamper. Erik looked inside and saw her yellow shirt balled up. She had taken off her bright shirt and crawled through the bushes and right behind him blending into the background…

"I'll be damned…" Erik said staring at Yani.

"You have to answer me or Baba if we call you, okay?" Yani said.

Sydette nodded.

"Good job," Erik said giving Sydette another high five.

Sydette wiggled on Yani's hip until she was put back on the ground.

"Let's hide again, Baba," she said grabbing for Erik's hand.

"We have to go, Sweet Pea," Yani said.

"Find us Mama…Baba come on…"

Erik stared at the tiny viewscreen on his armband. The tracking device he had on Klaue was indicating a return.

"Hey Sweet Pea, it's time to go. Baba has to work," he said.

Yani glanced at his face.

"Klaue and them are on their way back," he said.

He gave a weary sigh and reached out to give Yani a hug.

"I can come over later tonight if you can swing it," he said.

"Nannette is having her study group come over tonight and I have to watch the girls. I wish I could."

"How late?"

"I don't know. I can get away tomorrow for a few hours after four—"

"I'll be with Klaue then…shit…"

He looked back down at Sydette. Holding his hands out for her, he lifted the girl up.

"Time to go baby girl."

Sydette's face twisted up and they both heard the whine in her throat.

"I wahn play more," she said.

"Another time."

They headed up to the compound entrance. Leona saw them and came out of the front house to greet them.

"On your way out?" she asked.

Her hands stroked Sydette's back as she rested on Erik's hip.

"Yeah," Yani said.

Leona glanced at Erik.

"They're on their way," he said.

"I better get dinner started early then. You men act like starving wild beasts when yuh leave here and return after a few hours."

Leona headed back inside the front house. They could hear Cee Cee calling out to Leona for assistance.

"Klaue won't be upset that I brought her here?" Yani asked.

"Nah. I stopped the security feed. I'll turn it back on when you leave."

"You sure?"

"Don't worry about it."

She nodded and gave him a warm smile.

"Today was fun. You have fun, Sweet Pea?" Yani asked Sydette.

"Yes."

"I'll call you," he said.

Yani took Sydette from his arms.

"Bye Baba."

Erik gave Sydette a kiss on the cheek and watched Yani itch to kiss him too. He kissed her forehead and felt her lean into him wanting more. The struggle was real. He was trying his best to wean himself from her. And that included not being overly affectionate with her. Hugs and quick kisses on the cheek or forehead were his cut off points.

"They will be here soon, Yani," he said.

"Maybe we can get together later this week? Go out to eat…?"

He nodded, not making any verbal promises.

It had been so hard for them to see each other.

Klaue had them on an accelerated work schedule. Free time was at a premium and unfortunately, it never matched up with Yani's schedule. Their get-togethers were Disney-rated because it was always with Sydette present. Erik didn't mind. He was happy to spend as much time as he could with them both and it was easier to be with Yani if they kept things platonic. The moment Klaue gave the word, they would be heading to Sweden to hide out. Erik's Aunt Serah had sent an urgent and private message to him weeks earlier letting him know that the British Museum would be getting the first viewing of ancient East African art pieces at the end of the year. Art pieces that spanned the time period he was looking for and also the tribal affiliations he was after. He and Klaue wanted to be in striking distance. They were still baiting Agent Ross from the C.I.A.

Klaue made the brash decision to tell Ross that he had a large chunk of vibranium to sell when they did not have any more surplus in their possession. The man was sent a minuscule sample to make it look like they had some, but Erik was worried that Klaue would get caught up in the C.I.A. scheme and forget the plans to go back into Wakanda. It was truly difficult keeping the man focused. And even more difficult for Erik not to kill him. Something was going on with Klaue. He was brasher and more erratic than usual, changing his mind every other day and cursing his crew when they pointed out any contradictions or oversights in his plans. Most of the head-butting came from Erik, but he did his best to keep even-keeled. He couldn't afford to lose Klaue's trust and confidence. Linda was in Erik's corner, but even she couldn't get a handle on Klaue's behavior. The man acted like he was a God who couldn't be stopped. Especially with his new arm and the power he held within it.

Erik watched Yani drive away from the compound and the weight of the world returned to his shoulders. Being with her and Sydette lightened the days for him, and each time they left his side, the gulf of what was to come only grew wider.

Erik focused on breathing and he went into his bedroom to take some medication. Stress was eating him hollow. One of the last times Erik saw his child therapist Dr. Davis was right before his father died. His parents had reunited after a trying separation and he couldn't process all the feelings he had. His brain couldn't turn off. Dr. Davis explained to him that he was caught in a loop. His anxiety had him thinking about the future and worrying about his parents staying together, and his depression had him caught in the past still coming to terms with his Aunt Lia's assassination in front of him. He had to learn how to live in the moment, especially the good ones. That's what he tried to do with Yani and Sydette.

Stay focused on the sweet limited moments he had left with them.

Like playing hide and seek.

Listening to the precious laughter coming from his Sweet Pea knowing how close they were to losing her.

Seeing the smile on Yani's face when he snuck away to meet up with her in her university parking lot to bring her a surprise lunch.

Hearing Yani's voice singing made-up lyrics in her apartment to an old track his ex Disa had made from one of her d.j. mixes from his M.I.T. days.

Eating oxtails or stew chicken with Yani in her apartment as rain showered around outside as she told him stories about her life as a young girl being wild with Twyla.

He had to stay in the now.

Keep his thoughts away from their past beginning or shooting far ahead into the future when he would be on another plane to his destiny.

###

Klaue's eyes looked irritated.

Erik stood next to him in the living room of his main house as they stared at the wall viewscreen.

"This Ross prick is stringing me along," Klaue grumbled.

"I don't know why he's trippin'. He has a real sample of vibranium, so he knows we're legit. I smell a setup." Erik said.

"Let's sell to another buyer, fuck the C.I.A.," Linda quipped.

Her impatience at being on the island was wearing thin. Erik suspected it was more than just the waiting around. The island was a playground for the other mercs, they were happy to hang and wait.

Linda was annoyed at him.

Because of Yani.

For someone who prided herself on being the end all to be all, Linda was beginning to act like a jilted Ex with Erik. After drinking with the guys, she tried to tag along with him on one of his late-night runs off the compound but he refused her.

"Sneaking to see the cleaning lady," she said with a bite in her tone.

He didn't confirm or deny what he was doing, but she knew.

"So typical," she tossed at him.

"What's your problem?"

"You men and the low-level shit you settle for—"

"Mind ya business—"

"I thought you were better than that."

Erik jumped in her face.

"Fucking watch your mouth."

"Got a diamond in front of you but you go for the—"

"Understand something-"

"Please-"

"Focus on Klaue and not my dick. Got it?"

"Think I'm concerned about your—"

"You funny. Seems like you worried about someone else's shine being brighter than yours."

"You're not the only man around here you know."

"Then go get you some dick."

He walked past her and she grabbed at his arm. Her legs were shaky and she kept smoothing her hair back the way she did when she was one drink away from being sloppy drunk.

"Killmonger…wait…don't go. Stay here and have a drink with me. Smoke a little herb."

"No time for that."

"I just want to talk with you. We haven't hung out and talked in a long time…like we did in Jo'burg…remember? The guys here are boring."

She slinked up to him, her voice a seductive purring in his ear.

"Not tonight. I gotta go girl."

"That bitch…" she mumbled.

He could've snatched her up by her neck and throttled her. Backhanded the shit out of her for disrespecting Yani, but Linda would like that. Think he was being his usual dominant self and find it a turn on. It would make her come at him harder. He just glared at her. She wasn't worth the trouble. But he didn't want to alienate her and maybe cause her to leave the team. He needed her around. For a little while longer before he cut her loose.

"Tomorrow night. Some pool and good weed," he said, knowing Klaue had plans for them and he could blame the man for when they couldn't chill together. A sly smile painted her lips.

"Alright," she said stepping back from him, "go do your slumming tonight, but I'm holding you to tomorrow."

The fake smile he gave her pleased her and she sauntered away like she had won something.

Staring at her on the couch, her focus was on the work and not him.

"The C.I.A. will pay the most," Klaue said.

"What about…?" Erik stared at Klaue.

"Not those fuckers," Klaue said.

"Hey, the enemy of your enemy," Erik suggested.

"Who are you talking about?" Linda asked.

"H.Y.D.R.A," Klaue spat.

Erik glanced over at Linda.

"Another greedy group trying to take over the world…the usual bullshit. There's always some organization wanting to be the big swinging dick. They just a bit more ruthless," Erik said. Linda's lips puckered up.

"Sell to as many who want to buy, that's what I say. Klaue, is there a time limit you're shooting for? If the C.I.A. is stringing us along, and this H.Y.D.R.A. is sketchy too, who else can buy the vibranium quickly for your asking price?"

"I've got other options, but I need the C.I.A. in my pocket. Things are afoot my friends. I've got some other deals brewing in Eastern Europe, so we'll be busy in Sweden, but I have to have Ross," Klaue said.

"What about Wakanda?"

Erik let his father's homeland settle on the open air. Klaue's eyes regarded his with annoyance.

"We'll get there."

"When?"

"Wakanda is not Angola or South Africa. It's not Nigeria or the Congo. You need to comprehend the amount of pre-planning we have yet to begin in order to get into that place. That country is beyond anything your mind can conceive."

"Then we need to work on it now. We have time. I've made you weapons. I've made you money. I'm ready to move on that place—"

"You don't run this show, Killmonger! I do!"

Linda flinched when Klaue shouted at Erik. Erik stared at the man without backing down.

"You've been running a shitshow the last few weeks—"

A streak of blue heat shot past Erik's head and destroyed a drum fixed on the wall behind him. Klaue's wild eyes ogled Erik, but Erik wasn't fazed by the behavior. Klaue stood with his weaponized arm stretched out.

"That shit won't last forever. Eventually, it will run out of energy and what do you have to replace it? Nothing. Want to try for the drum on the other side? Or maybe the masks hanging above me?"

"Killmonger…don't…" Linda whispered. Her back was pressed harder into the couch. The stench of incinerated wood and ancient goatskin singed their nostrils.

"You know I'm right. Stop fucking around and let's get cracking on Wakanda. I'm ready. You're ready too. We just need to focus on it with the time we have now."

"You're such a brazen bastard, you know that Killmonger? I could blow your head off—"

"Then do it. Be about it."

"Jesus, Killmonger, don't goad him," Linda hissed, her eyes watching Klaue's arm shut itself down.

"He won't kill me. He needs me. And I need him. Ain't that right, Klaue?"

A smirk dragged across Klaue's mouth.

"I might just kill you after Wakanda. What do you think of that?"

"Not if I kill you first."

Linda stood up.

"Clearly this meeting is adjourned for the night. Ciao, gentlemen."

"Sit down, I was just joking with him," Klaue said walking over to his globe liquor bar.

He poured himself a shot of scotch and poured another for Erik.

"Drink up you smug bastard," he said.

Erik took the drink and gulped it down.

"Only you have the balls to talk to me like that with shit blowing up all around you."

"I'm 'bout that work. Not the bullshit. I came into this game with you to get to Wakanda. Get my hands on a motherlode."

"You'll have it. I promise. But those Wakandans…those savages…you have to be more ruthless and more cunning to outsmart them."

Klaue's eyes swept over Erik's face. He drank down his scotch.

"You're right. We need to go there soon. We start planning once we get to Sweden."

"Bet."

Klaue wandered off to his room in the back. Linda crept over to Erik and he poured her a drink.

"Why do you push him?" she asked.

"Because I can."

"He's unstable when he drinks. You know that. He could've killed you."

"He won't."

"Let's make our money in one piece, okay? Without antagonizing him."

Erik poured more scotch into her glass and his own.

"Chill," he said.

"You chill."

He slapped her on her butt.

Keep her close.

Comfortable.

He let his hand squeeze her ass again as he pushed up on her. He felt her breathy sigh blow on his cheek. He slapped her butt again. Linda punched his arm and he winked at her. She relaxed.

The way he needed her to.

###

He stood in the parking lot waiting for Yani. Right next to her car. He saw her walking toward him.

"Is that a Grand House Ceasar Salad?" she asked.

"With the champagne dressing and cheese biscuits," Erik said.

Yani jumped for joy and ran to him grabbing the large brown bag he carried. She grabbed his hand and pulled him toward an open area where there were benches to sit where she could eat her lunch.

She tucked into her salad wasting no time drowning it with the dressing and smacking her lips over the biscuits. She tried to keep from spilling anything on her steel blue nursing uniform.

"I needed this…Jesus…classes were intense this morning…and I have to tell you about volunteering at the hospital…."

She wolfed down her meal and Erik watched her while eating one of her cheese biscuits. His mood lately had been quiet. Contemplative. They interacted as affectionate best friends and that was hard for her. She knew why he did it. Trying to make their upcoming separation easier for her. But it was doing the opposite.

Once she finished eating, she drank up the soda he brought with her food.

"Tell me about the hospital," he asked.

Yani held the cola can against her chest.

"Oh…the babies…they are so tiny. Dr. Candace has me spend two hours on the preemie ward and I just hold them against my chest. They don't even feel real to me. When I had Sweet Pea, she was so big and plump, even at seven pounds, but these babies…like fragile tiny dolls. So small…but they have the fight to live in them. I held a little boy that squirmed on my chest the whole time I had him, and I could almost see through his skin. Next Saturday I will observe the critical care unit for children again and shadow Dr. Candace's colleague there."

"Which do you like better?"

"Mmm, maybe the critical care unit. I can talk to the children and I like the different ages. There's a lot more to do there because of the different needs. Most of the time in the preemie ward I am sitting and holding the babies quietly."

Her mind went to her morning class and she grew quiet.

"What?" he asked.

"We're doing an Intro to Epidemiology unit in one of my classes and since Sydette was ill and Star passed…I think I'm interested in studying diseases. I've been reading a lot into that, and I think I want to move into that field."

Erik nodded his head encouraging her thoughts.

"I want to work with babies and children so I have to figure out what will make me happy. That virus came through the island so fast and so deadly. A lot of the islands were hit hard and were so unprepared throughout the Caribbean."

She crushed up her soda can and put it inside the brown bag her salad came in.

"Seems like school has you beyond excited."

"I'm having so much fun! My mind is soaking up everything and Dr. Candace has become a great mentor to me."

"Black women uplifting other Black women."

"She is from here, unlike some of the other doctors, so she really understands the needs of our people. You know what she told me last week?"

"What?"

"She thinks I should consider becoming a doctor again. She says I have an affinity for medicine and the smarts to be a doctor. I thought it was too late to dream that big again, but…"

"Hey…Yani…," Erik stroked her back.

Yani wiped her eyes. The unexpected tears surprised her.

"I used to think I was a failure for giving up Uni after getting pregnant. My parents and a lot of my family made me feel like it was too late to have that. But now…to have a doctor tell me to my face that I have what it takes to be like her, another Black woman doctor…mi feel like anything is possible again."

Erik pulled her in for a hug.

"I know you can do it," he whispered in her ear.

"Now I believe it too," she said.

She wiped her eyes again and leaned back from him. Glanced at her wristwatch view screen.

"I need to get to my next class."

Erik took her trash and tossed it in a waste receptacle near the bench. She reached out and touched his hair.

"Getting so full," she said.

"I want to loc it back up again."

"I can do that. Come by tonight?"

"Can't."

"Tomorrow night?"

"Maybe."

"Chez is taking Sweet Pea to his mother's church for a gospel fest. I can do your hair at my place uninterrupted. Nannette will be around, but she always stays in her room watching her tv shows."

Yani didn't want to sound desperate, but she wanted to be alone with him. Even if it was just to do his hair for him. She needed to touch him. She leaned in to kiss him and he accepted her lips. He allowed her to throw her arms around him and she nuzzled her face against his neck. He smelled like expensive aftershave.

"Get back to class," he said pulling away from her.

"Thank you for lunch."

"See ya later, Dr. Galiber."

Yani smiled and he gave her some dimples with his grin.

He kissed her cheek and she walked away from him. Stomach happy. Heart slightly heavy.

"Yani."

She turned to look at him.

"I'll come by tomorrow."

Her face beamed and she had to stop herself from skipping away from him like a little school girl.

The rest of her day sped by fast, her brain filled with facts and ideas and a need to do more personal research on viruses and bacteria and public health policies.

Sydette had a great day at daycare and Yani treated her daughter to ice cream before dinner. Back at their apartment, Yani packed Sydette a little overnight bag to give to Chez. He would take her with him to stay with his mother after the gospel fest. Yani would be able to sleep in an extra hour Thursday morning because Chez would drop Sydette off at daycare for her.

She fell asleep on her couch with her laptop glowing in front of her face with completed homework sent to her teachers and Sydette snoozing right next to her.

###

"What are you doing?"

Erik's voice was curious as he watched Linda standing in the middle of Klaue's living room. He caught her staring at the floor.

"Just admiring the tile. Seems discolored in some places."

"Grout cleaner probably discolored some of it,' he said walking past her.

He opened up the globe liquor bar and poured himself a bourbon on the rocks.

"Want one?" he asked.

"No. Trying to keep this tummy down," she said patting her flat stomach, "been overindulging a little too much. Drying out."

Erik sipped and her eyes dragged over him. She studied him.

"What do you know about Wakanda?" she asked.

The wall view screen popped on when she waved her hand over the power source and a map of Africa filled out his vision. Linda swiped the screen and East Africa came up in sharp 3D relief.

"About as much as you," he said.

Linda glanced behind her to see if Klaue was in earshot.

"It's land-locked. Not really on anyone's radar…"

"And?"

"How does a poor country with no real GNP and an unknown resource it doesn't harness have complicated security monitoring? I can't hack into any computer source around it or inside of it. It has a powerful blackout network that I can't crack. And you know I can get into anything anywhere if given enough time. I've spent two months trying to find a way in. Klaue says that it is a powerful place. I thought he was exaggerating, but now…this is some next level shit, Killmonger. Vibranium is just the tip of the iceberg. Who are these people…for real?"

"The future, Ma. The future."

Linda's eyes regarded him to assess if he were truly serious. He didn't flinch.

"How the hell is our skeleton crew going to go up against that?"

"We're not going to war. Just taking vibranium."

"I didn't sign up for a suicide mission."

"You signed up to make bank. So make bank."

Her eyes were wary.

"Does he still have the Kabul goods?"

Erik stayed silent.

"That's why he has you here for the long term."

"Wakanda is not a suicide mission."

Linda's eyes gazed at the map. She outlined Wakanda with her hand.

"Wakanda is my last big job. After that, I'm out. Retiring," he said.

"You retire? You love this shit. You were made for this shit."

"I'm done after that place. On God."

"On God? Hmmm. You must be serious."

Her eyes flitted about the room before she walked over and made herself a drink.

Erik turned off the view screen and stepped out onto the balcony. Closing his eyes, he listened to the surf down below rush in. The liquor coursing through his veins warmed up his insides as a cool breeze tickled his skin.

Retire.

Right.

The soldier in him had to stay vigilant.

"I'm so ready for Helsingborg," Linda said.

She stood next to him and watched the water.

"You'll miss all of this, won't you?"

"I lived well here," he said.

"Suits you. Sun. Surf. Someone to cater to your needs all day. Cooking your food. Cleaning your housing. La dolce vita."

"Life is sweet here."

He felt her eyes on him, but he concentrated on the view in front of him. His cell vibrated. He ignored it while Linda stood there. The gentle ping on the intercom system notified them all that dinner was ready.

Erik walked with Linda up to the front house and found the other men there already surrounding the dining table and drinking heavily. The energy was festive and relaxed. A change of pace from the last few weeks of tension and shutting down operations in St. Thomas. He watched Leona and Cee Cee place trays of meat and vegetables on the serving tables and the motley crew fixed their plates.

Erik didn't participate in any conversations and ate his food fast. He wanted to get to Yani. He was eager to feel her fingers on his scalp. When dessert was brought out, Erik made his leave.

###

Yani dipped her finger in the fresh loc butter she brought from Twyla's house. It smelled like lemon cookies, and she kept her nose in the jar until Killmonger walked into her apartment. His hair was freshly washed and she had him sit on the floor between her thighs. The heat from his body warmed up her legs. She wore black shorts and made sure her legs were shaved and smoothed in cocoa butter.

She sectioned his hair and massaged the loc butter into his scalp and onto the ends of his strands.

"Smells good," he said.

"How thick you want them?"

"Same as before."

She started at the front of his scalp, palm rolling the soft texture of his hair and clipping the new locs to the side. When she got to the patch of red hair on his scalp, she took her time there and created three locs. One for him, one for his mother, and one for his father. She clipped the birthmark strands and his head turned up to look at her. She bent down and kissed his cheek. He closed his eyes and she moved her lips to his mouth. Her tongue licked the seam of his mouth and his lips parted. The tip of his tongue darted out and touched hers and she sucked on it eagerly and moved her upper body down closer to his. Erik reached up and touched her neck before pushing back and allowing her to continue palm rolling.

His head slumped forward and his breathing was relaxed and deep. His hands reached around her ankles and rubbed her feet as she finished up the back of his head.

"You sleep?" she asked.

"Nah."

"Almost done."

She unclipped his hair and finger-combed the new locs back. She spritzed it with some floral-scented distilled water.

Yani passed him a hand mirror and he stared at her work.

"Looks good."

He pulled a wave cap from his back pocket and she helped place it over his hair. He leaned back into her thighs and rested his face on her right one. He kissed the inner flesh there and she felt a giddy fluttering in her belly.

"Kendall has a show this weekend. A promo party for his new EP. You want to come?"

"When is it?"

"This weekend."

"If I can get away, yeah."

Yani glanced at her cell phone when she saw it light up on the end table. She read the text Chez sent her and cracked up laughing.

"Lookie, Killmonger. Chez says Sweet Pea is trying to play Hide and Seek in the church right now."

She held her phone out to him and he saw the picture Chez sent. Sydette was under a pew.

"Getting her dress all dirty. See what you started," Yani said.

Killmonger grinned and handed her phone back. He checked his watch.

She held onto his shoulders.

"You have to go back?"

"Nah, just checking the time. When is Nannette coming back?"

"I don't know."

She felt nervous. Jumpy. Fearful that he would leave.

Switching channels on her tv, she found a show she liked and moved back into the couch. He moved to sit next to her and she leaned into him. He settled down more and threw his arm around the back of the couch. She lost interest in the show and glanced at his face. He seemed to enjoy what he saw. She stroked his thigh.

"Killmonger…why won't you touch me anymore?"

"I touch you—"

"You know what I mean."

"Told you…surface level."

"I don't want that. I know you think it's to help me get over you. But it won't. I want to be with you… in all ways."

His eyes focused on her chin and not her eyes.

"It hurts me not to be the way we used to. I crave everything about you. Don't you miss me too? Touching me like this?"

She reached out and placed his left hand on her breast. His fingers clutched at the soft cotton of her shirt and the fullness of her.

"Mi still yuh sugah, yeah?"

His breath sped up and he squeezed her breast.

"Yani…"

She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him with everything she had.

"Baby…"

His hands snaked around her waist as she bounced on him.

"Yuh miss me?" she whispered in his ear. Her tongue darted along the shell and the groan from his mouth made her bolder. She pulled off her shirt and let her breasts bounce in his face.

"Shit!"

Erik's eyes watched her tits and she felt the swelling from his dick under her mound. Winding her hips, Yani slowed down her movement.

"Love me?" she asked.

His dick jumped under her and he thrust up.

"Tryna make me cum in my pants again."

Erik stood up and she wrapped her legs around him. He walked them into her bedroom where he released her. They undressed and crawled onto her bed.

His mouth was on her neck when she heard Nanette enter the apartment.

"Yani!"

"I'm in my room studying."

Erik pressed his mouth into her neck to muffle the laugh that bubbled out of him.

"My sister is with me. We have some take out, you want some?" Nannette said.

"No, I'm not hungry…thank you…oooh…"

Yani's hands shot out around Erik's neck. His erection separated her sticky folds and she lost her breath for a moment.

Nanette and her sister moved around in the living room and her daughter ran around in the next room playing with her toys.

Erik lifted up Yani's legs and drilled down into her pussy. They both tried to keep quiet, but Erik's pants were so loud in her ear. She gasped and clutched at his back, clawing his skin, his muscles moving beneath her fingers. The firm scars all over his traps anchored her even though he was making her bed move. The headboard clanked against the wall. Erik reached up and held onto the metal bar headboard, his thighs widening as he shifted above her. His dark brown eyes watched her face as she tried to keep quiet.

"Fuck me…" she gasped.

His eyes narrowed and became more intense.

"Pussy so wet…fuck…I love that sound," he groaned.

Yani didn't know what was more erotic, Erik's facial expressions and soft moans trying to keep quiet, or her own breathy pants. The more they kissed, the tighter her pussy felt surrounding his length.

The loud babble of Nannette and her sister and the banging of toys on the floor in the next room swirled around them. It didn't matter though, she and Erik only heard each other. Yani lifted her legs higher around Erik's waist, wanting him deeper and harder inside of her.

"I'm not pulling out!" Erik groaned in her ear.

He held still and Yani felt his heavy dick pulsing inside her pussy. His cum shot deep inside of her thick, raw, and hot. A sharp cry flew out of Yani's mouth when she felt her orgasm spasm around Erik's rigid length. He kissed her to keep their noise down but his mouth on hers only made her want more.

Erik's cell buzzed. He ignored it until the third buzzing made him pick it up. Yani tucked the bed covers under her neck as she watched him. His face changed from sated bliss to uncertainty.

"What is it?" she asked.

He put the phone on the nightstand and fell back on the bed.

"Killmonger?"

He turned to face her.

"We're moving out."

###

Chapter 25 Here.

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[uzumaki-rebellion]

“Wet Sugar” [Part 20 of 30]

Summary:  Yani's new life changes Erik...

Mature Audience. NSFW.

"No, I can't seem to get it, And in my mind I'm bettin' My time's made up, I gotta' go... And it's alright if you want, To see through your tomorrow, But right, now I gotta' go...

If you want to stay then you can be here with me, But I can't let go of all this love, oh no, so easily... I said, if you want to stay then you can be here with me, But I can't let go of all this love, oh no, so easily..."

Flying Lotus feat. Andreya Triana– “Tea Leaf Dancers”

"What do you think?"

Yani held up a pale lavender double-bed sheet set and Erik tried his best to be engaged but he wasn't. He felt depressed. Holding Sydette in his arms as Yani shopped for new bedding and pillows was not the way he wanted to spend their day. He wanted them to be on the beach swimming, or walking around the compound and catching vista views of the ocean. Or cooking food together in the kitchen with Sweet Pea wiggling all around dancing to music they played the way he used to do when he was a kid with his parents.

Yani was delighted buying things for her very first apartment, and Erik could only feel acid settling in his stomach. He wanted her to stay with him until Klaue arrived, even offered to pay her rent for the next month without her staying with the roommate, but she declined. She wanted Sydette and the roommate's daughter, Azriel, to be together from the start of their taking the space.

It was already difficult for him to watch her studying and reading and working on her classes at the compound and not have the free time like they used to. It was also difficult to deliver Sydette to Twyla or Cee Cee or even her sister Anika so he could work. There was so little time to be with both of them anymore.

He started getting high more to cope. Ease his mind to help focus on Klaue's weapons and the man's return. He was ashamed of how he was feeling. Acting like an entitled brat because he wasn't getting his way.

"Goose down, or synthetic?"

Yani held up two pillows for him to inspect.

"Goose down is hard to clean," he said.

"You're right. Synthetic it is."

She tossed three pillows into their shopping cart. Two comforters, pillows, sheets, bath mats, and shower curtains. He had to hold Sydette because there was no room in the cart.

"The electricity was turned on this afternoon, so we can drop this off there…"

She rattled off all the things she wanted to get done for the night and Erik nodded, only half-listening. He could probably deal with the move if he were allowed to come over and stay with them sometimes, but Yani and her roommate Nannette made an agreement that no men were allowed in the apartment for overnight stays until they were settled for a few months and got to know one another. Yani implemented this rule herself. She didn't want strange men around her daughter or coming around at odd hours. Nannette agreed even though she had no partner of her own. That would limit their time even more.

He wondered if their time together had run its course. Maybe she was trying to pull away from him nicely. He had been gruff with her and abrupt around the compound, a combination of his work frustrations, and also his worry over losing her so soon. He had been thinking they had a few more months of bliss, but the reality was changing.

"I got it," he said pulling out his wallet to pay for all the items she wanted.

He traded the baby for the cart as he pushed it to the S.U.V. He felt Yani's eyes on him.

"You've been so quiet…everything okay?"

He nodded his head, but she could see that he wasn't.

They rode in silence over to her new place and he carried all of her things in two trips up the stairs to the third floor.

Putting the baby on the floor, Yani showed him around.

It was spacious, brightly lit, and there was furniture in place. A new black leather couch sectional with a low coffee table and matching end tables took up the east side of the apartment. The small kitchen had room for a round dining table and he could see two high chairs already placed near it. His heart sank.

"Looks good in here," he said trying to perk up for her.

Sydette ran around as Yani took out the new sheets in her bedroom and made up the new bed he bought for her. Queen size for a queen. She fell on top of it when she had it looking nice with the decorative pillows her Aunt bought for her. She patted the space next to her and he crawled onto the bed. "I think I'll paint this room yellow. Make it look sunny…or maybe powder blue to look like the sky…"

Her eyes darted about making plans. His fingers reached for her face and he turned her head to look at him.

"Happy?" he asked.

"Mmm-hmm. Very."

She kissed his cheek and he kissed her lips back. He felt the pressure of her lips on his subside, but he pushed back harder and she pulled away from him. Her eyes regarded him with a seriousness he hadn't seen from her in a long time.

"What's wrong?" she said.

"Nothing's wrong—"

"You lie. Don't do that to me."

He laid back on his arms and stared up at the ceiling.

"I feel like we're drifting. I want you to have your own place…but I don't want you to leave me either."

Her fingers stroked his chest.

"I'm not leaving you."

He didn't say anything. His silence spoke for him. She leaned on her elbow and stared into his eyes.

"We lived like royalty with you. I'll never have anything like that again. I'll cherish that time with you there, Killmonger. I really will. This is just the next stage of my life. You are a part of that still—"

He turned his head away. She pulled it back.

"Things will just be different. I'll still come help my Aunt at the compound on the weekends. You can come see me and Sydette at night or you can visit her when she's out of daycare…"

She stroked his face and her touch made him feel the loss of them more. Sporadic visits wouldn't be enough.

A sense of shame came over him. Yani's words reminded him of the things he said to his old love, Disǎ when he was busy with his work and not around her as much. He finally knew what she felt like when he told her things would just be different. Different simply meant a drawn-out ending.

Erik pressed his mouth against Yani's neck and kissed his way up to her lips. Her lips melded to his for a moment before he made his way down to her t-shirt. He pulled up her shirt and unfastened her bra, tossing it on the floor. He settled his face between her breasts and suckled until her nipples were tight hard pebbles and his dick was a ramrod in his jeans. Her fingers played with his locs as he bit her tips, causing her to cry out with pleasure. It had been too long since he had done this with her.

They heard Sydette walking around pushing her little play lawnmower.

"You okay in there Sweet Pea?" Yani called out.

"Yes!"

Erik pinched Yani's nipples and her sighs made him throb in his pants. Sydette rolled her mower against the bedroom door hitting the door jamb. Yani pulled down her shirt and rolled off the bed.

"Where's your hair ties?"

Sydette touched the springy curls on her head, the two braids she once had were gone.

"Ova there…"

Sydette pointed out toward the living room.

"Go get them," Yani said.

Sydette took off running and returned with two purple silk ribbons.

"She will not leave braids in."

"Let her wear her hair out. She likes it."

Erik sat up from the bed, but waited a few minutes to let is body settle back down.

"Nannette is here," Yani said.

Erik heard the front door open and Sydette squealed and ran to the front room.

"Hey!" Yani said.

Erik picked up the empty shopping bags from around Yani's room and followed her out into the living room.

Nannette was a slender woman with long blue twists in her hair. Her daughter, a little girl about two months older than Sydette was touching Sydette's lawnmower.

"Nannette, this is Erik. Erik this is my new roommate."

Nannette had a nice wide smile with an overbite. She shook his hand and they all watched the two little girls mess with the lawnmower together.

"Did you see the bedspreads I got for the girls?" Nanette said.

"No, I haven't even gone in their room."

"Come look!"

Nannette grabbed Yani's hand and pulled her to another bedroom in the back that was right next to Yani's. Erik followed, curious to see what the girls' room looked like.

Two trundle beds were covered with Princess Tiana bedspreads with matching pillowcases.

"Oh my God! This is too cute!" Yani said.

There was a white and crème-colored dresser and cute overhanging lights with cartoon characters on them. A pink toy chest sat in a corner already stuffed with the things Erik had bought Sydette. The room was clean and neat. Sydette crawled onto one of the beds.

"This mine," she said looking at Erik.

"That's your bed, Sweet Pea?"

"Yes. See Princess Tiana?"

"I see her," Erik said.

Azriel climbed on her bed.

"I have Princess too," she said.

"I see," Erik said giving the other girl some attention.

"You all hungry? I brought food," Nanette said.

Yani looked at Erik, but he watched the two women and decided they needed to be in their own space for their first night without him intruding.

"I'll let you all settle in. I gotta run," he said heading toward the door.

"Baba! Baba…where you going?"

Sydette jumped off the bed and followed him, grabbing his hand.

"I'm going…"

He stopped himself. He was about to say home, but Sweet Pea's face looked stressed seeing him head out of her room.

"I have to do some things. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Her finger went to her lip and she turned to look at Yani.

"Tomorrow," Yani echoed.

Sydette looked comfortable with the idea.

Erik picked her up and walked her to the front door with him. He kissed her cheek as Yani rubbed her back.

"Come play in my room. I wahn show yuh..."

"What do you want to show me?"

"A secret."

"Secret? What kind of secret?"

Her dimples popped out and she whispered in his ear.

"A secret."

Erik started laughing. She lifted his spirits.

"Show me tomorrow. I'll bring you ice cream."

"I wahn show yuh now."

"Sydette…"

Yani stuck her face near her daughter.

Nanette took Azriel into the kitchen with her and Yani stroked Erik's back.

"See you tomorrow Sweet Pea. Be a good girl, for Mama."

"'kay."

He put her down and she lingered near them, her hand on Yani's leg.

He lowered his head to kiss Yani and she slipped him a bit of tongue which was a terrible thing to do to him because he only wanted to be with her back on her bed. With her breasts pressed into his chest, he let his hand dropped down to her backside and grip a plump cheek.

"I hate this," he said when he let her lips go.

Her eyes dropped away from his. He was making her feel bad. It was an unkind thing to do.

"I'll live," he said painting a smile on his face, giving her some dimples. Her eyes looked unsure so he smacked her ass and then squeezed it again.

"Call me tonight," she said.

"I will. Go enjoy your first meal in your new home."

"When we get settled, I'll cook you a nice dinner later this week."

"I'll hold you to it. Do I get some dessert with it?

"I'll give you some dessert."

Her voice was seductive.

"Go eat."

He walked down to his car and for a moment he sat in the driver's seat and stared up at the lights in Yani's new home. He had no right to feel sorry for himself. Yani was becoming an independent woman. She would soon have a career. But he felt like he was being pushed away. He hated the feeling. Abandonment. An all too familiar feeling for him. He hated everything about his life at that moment.

A coldness was creeping back into him. The type of coldness that made him reckless and mean.

###

Yani stared at the whiteboard in the classroom and took down notes as quickly as her nursing teacher wrote them.

Being in class was a totally ultra-accelerated experience compared to taking classes online. She did her best to keep up. She was smart. She knew this. Smarter than most of the others in her class. But the nurse/midwife program was not for the slow or lazy. The teacher expected his students to be prepared for the advanced level, and Yani was so thankful she spent time studying as much as she could before she started. If Erik hadn't made that free time for her at Klaue's, she would've dropped out after the first week of class.

Yani scratched the back of her scalp as she checked her micro-recorder to make sure it was taping the lecture. Her left leg bounced a bit inside her nursing uniform. The school required all the nursing students to wear actual nursing attire. It made Yani feel like a real medical professional.

Erik.

His face came to mind, and she felt a knot in her belly. She hadn't seen him for days and barely spoke to him on the phone between their texting. His messages were coming with less frequency, and Yani knew it was because she had put distance between them.

Her classes kept her busy all day, and Sydette's attendance in daycare proved to be a success and less of a burden on her Aunt and cousins. The nursing program helped subsidize the daycare costs because it was on campus, so Yani and Nanette drove the girls with them in the morning and Yani drove them all back to the apartment when Nannette was home from her morning classes. Yani had to stay for later classes because of the extra course load she was carrying. The timing of the traffic was perfect because Yani was able to make it back to her classes on time, and then spend the evening with the girls while giving Nannette a break. They had a perfectly set schedule that worked well with the children.

Sydette adjusted to being with strangers and one of the daycare providers even suggested letting her start pre-school early because she was so bright. Yani was proud of that. She wanted the best for her little girl and she felt like she was finally getting the outside support she needed. She didn't have to depend on her own family so much anymore.

She also didn't need to depend on Erik.

That was a problem. For him.

Her new schedule left little time for herself once more, and she fought tooth and nail for any bit of solitude she could get. That often meant late at night when the babies were asleep and she could finally get some sleep herself. The weekends found her watching two babies while Nannette worked a weekend job at one of the fancy hotels in the mornings. While the girls played in the living room of their apartment, Yani studied. Erik would come over then and in between toddlers running around and Yani trying to hit the books, there was no real quality time. Infrequent sex was heavy petting and occasionally quick bounces on his dick with clothes on while they sat on the couch when the girls napped on the weekends. It was always fast. Almost impersonal. Hot sticky fingers, muffled grunts and groans, and Yani keeping an eye and ear out for the children interrupting or Nannette coming home at unexpected hours depending on her work's flexible schedule.

Things turned ugly one Saturday afternoon when they were lying side by side on the couch. She wanted to take a quick nap and he wanted to slip his dick inside of her while they had a blanket over them.

"Not here…not now," she fussed, pushing his hand away from the waistband of her sweatpants. She could feel his erection pushing up hard against her backside, and his breathing was heavy. Nibbling on her earlobe, he pulled on her nipples and tried to coax her into giving in to his need.

"Let's go in the bedroom," he whispered in her ear.

She was annoyed. Tired. Her head hurt from trying to remember what she read for her homework. All she wanted was to feel his warm body around her. She needed him to stay awake to listen out for the girls while she clung to his arms and snoozed. Just for one tiny hour.

"Yani, c'mon…"

"Let's just stay here. I want to stay like this—"

"Baby…"

"You know these walls are thin. They can hear us, and you know it takes too long to get them settled again…"

He yanked down her sweats.

"Killmonger…stop."

"Let me get some…just a little bit. I ain't seen you in a week…take care of me…"

His fingers manipulated her breasts a little too hard and when he reached down to unzip his pants, she slapped his hands and pulled up from him.

"Just stop!"

He froze.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her tone was abrasive and he shrunk back from her.

"I need to sleep, man. While the girls are out, I need this time to rest—"

"Go get in the bed then. I'll stay out here and watch out for them."

He turned the channel on the tv and sat up away from her. His eyes ignored her.

"Killmonger—"

"Go to sleep. It's all good."

He reached between his legs and pushed down on his dick while zipping up his pants.

"Can't you see I'm tired? I don't want to mess around right now—"

"We good. Go to bed."

His voice was surly. Those big lush lips fixed in a pout.

"I already got one baby, mi don't need a grown-ass one too—"

"Whatchu say to me?"

His eyes cut to hers so quick. They were on fire.

"You heard me—"

"Fuck you really mean then, Ma?"

Cold.

His voice was so cold.

"I'm just tired."

"Then go to your damn bed and sleep."

He shoved her away from him hard and she struck his face just as hard. The ring she had on her pinky finger slid across his lip and cut him. A tiny sliver that bled.

His left hand swiped his lip and when he saw the blood, he shook his head at her.

"Get your ass in that room before you really mess up…"

She wasn't about to test him. She stood up and walked into her room, quietly closing the door. Laying on her bed, she curled up under the covers and tucked her fingers against her chest. Her heart beat so fast. She had struck him. Not playfully, or joking over something, but with anger behind it. She didn't want to have sex. Not at that moment. Maybe later after she had a catnap. But he was always so forceful wanting it. When they were at Klaue's she loved it. Loved him coming after her when he wanted it. Because she had wanted it too. Their summer paradise was made for that type of loving. It was September now, and playtime was over for her. Erik couldn't accept that. Just like he couldn't accept the fact that every other weekend Chez was allowed to keep Sydette. Court order. She didn't like it herself because she didn't trust Chez, and she didn't trust Ursula to treat her baby right, but there was nothing she could do about it. She had to allow it because Chez threatened to press charges against Erik for fracturing his jaw.

The weekends that Chez had Sydette, Yani would work at the compound with her Aunt. Klaue was back. Between work hours there, Yani would sleep in her Aunt's apartment under the main house and pretend to not know Erik at all. Except for those small sweet moments when he would caress her fingers as they walked past one another. Or bumped into each other in the kitchen. She thought there would be time for them to sneak away somewhere on the property and be alone, but that was not to be. She saw it working Erik's nerves. She saw how he treated the other men. They were scared of him, and she had to admit to herself now, she was beginning to fear him too. Fear what he was becoming.

The small moments at her apartment were supposed to be honey and flowers for them. They almost were except her schooling took precedent, and that took a toll on her ability to carve out enough sleep. It was a tiredness she could cope with because she knew there was a goal at the end of it. Unlike the time she spent drifting with her old jobs trying to keep her head above water, nursing school was taking her somewhere. Dividing her time between school and quality time with Sydette took precedence over sex sometimes. Erik acted like he knew this in the beginning, but two months in now, he was…he was a problem.

And she slapped him.

Cut his lip.

Whatever anger that was brewing in him since she began her education was deep and wide and she saw it when he shoved her off the couch.

She wept quietly in her bed and dozed off a bit before going into a deep slumber. It was dark when she woke up.

Jumping out of bed she went into the living room and found Nanette watching tv with the girls playing near her feet. "Hi," Nannette said.

Yani wiped her face.

"Where is-?"

"He left when I got in. Told me to tell you he would call you later. You sleep good?"

Yani nodded and swept back into her room looking for her phone.

No messages from him. She swiped his number.

He didn't speak when he answered.

"You left."

"No need for me to be there. Nanette can babysit for you."

"You still mad?"

"Nah. I'm good."

"What that mean?"

"I'm good. As in maybe we need to break. You have important things to do. I respect that. I got shit to do too. Every time I see you, you're too tired or we argue about petty shit—"

"I'm not going to argue over what my body needs to maintain itself. If I'm fucking tired, I want to sleep and you should just wait for when I feel like sleeping with you—"

"We don't sleep together no more. We barely fuck."

"So that's all I am to you now? Was to you…?"

Her throat stung with an ache that she couldn't get rid of.

"You breaking up with me because I wouldn't give you no ass?"

"Yani…it's more than that. When we're together, your mind is not there with me—"

"What about Sydette…?"

She burst into tears then.

She heard a heavy exhale on his end.

"I'm still going to see my baby girl—"

"But not me?"

"Yani…we gotta face it, baby. We're going downhill. We knew it was going to happen—"

"Not like this!"

Her voice wailed into the phone.

"I'm sorry I hit you. It was wrong. I was pissed. Killmonger…please…"

"Yani…"

She heard muffled talking in the background. Someone spoke to Erik.

"I'm sorry I pushed you. I was being an asshole….I gotta go—"

"Don't hang up—"

He was gone.

Her nose ran with snot and she felt her cheeks warm up with hot tears spilling from her eyes.

It wasn't fair. But it was their own fault.

She had crawled onto his lap and told him to his face so many months ago that they were stupid for trying to build a solid house out of sand on a rising tide.

Yani couldn't eat dinner and could barely keep up with Sydette as she tried to play with some giant puzzle pieces on her bed.

"Look, Mama!"

Yani nodded at the completed puzzle of a giant giraffe and fat hippo swimming in a lagoon. Sydette hit it to knock the pieces apart so she could put it together again and Yani could only look at it and think that her love life was always like that. Giant pieces that looked pretty once they were put together but inevitably, some force would come down and break it apart. Playing with Sydette gave Yani perspective. All she had in the world was herself and her daughter. Nothing and no one else.

She loved Erik fiercely, but he was just like any other man in her life. Temporary. He may well have been the love of her life, but he was not her entire life. That was something she had to create on her own.

She was comfy in her bed when her cell vibrated. She picked it up from her nightstand.

Come outside.

Short and sweet as always.

Yani put on her jacket and fluffy Bugs Bunny slippers and crept out of the apartment. Glancing around she saw Klaue's S.U.V. parked on the far end of the parking lot. She took her time walking over to him. The sharp snap of the car latch opening caught her ear and she climbed into the passenger seat. When his eyes settled on her, she started crying again. She hated it. Her throat was sore and swollen from weeping earlier in the night.

Erik reached over and pulled her onto his lap. The driver seat was pushed all the way back and she clung to him as her chest shuddered against his. He reached up and turned on one of the overhead lights

"Girl, I'm sorry…this ain't easy…"

He smelled like weed and expensive liquor. His eyes were bloodshot, but not just from the weed.

"I love you," she said, gripping his neck tight.

"I love you too, but…our priorities are different now. Like we knew it would be eventually…"

Her head shook against his neck and he held her waist.

"Klaue is moving on again soon. I gotta bounce with him…Yani…don't…listen to me…Yani…"

He pulled her head back so she would look him in the eye.

"I get into these moods now, and I don't think we should be around each other. I'm focusing on the new job at hand and I'm going to be involved with the men at the compound…and…I can't deal with you too. I miss you all the time, and I miss Sweet Pea…but I'm leaving baby. Better to cut bait now. I hate this shit, girl. I'm losing you and her—"

"We still here," she pleaded.

"I'll come see Sweet Pea and say goodbye to her soon—"

"When are you leaving?"

"I can't tell you that because I don't know. That's why I want to end this now. I don't want this to drag and cause more hurt feelings."

His forehead dropped against hers.

"You know this is best, right?"

She nodded. She felt like she was dying inside, but she knew it was true. Dragging it out would kill her.

"I'm still going to work at the compound. Auntie needs me."

"I'll stay out of your way. Most of us will. Shit is getting hectic over there."

Yani pulled back and stared at his lips. She wiped her eyes then kissed him.

"You do well in school. Keep your focus on that. Nothing else. Not even me. Okay?"

She nodded her head.

"Treat me like you used to and you'll be alright."

She smiled but then his eyes brought her back to the pain.

He rocked her in the car until her breathing became even again. She didn't want to let him go. But she had to.

"Go inside now. It's late as fuck."

She didn't budge. Curled herself up closer to his chest.

"Yani, c'mon…"

She pulled herself off of him as he opened the driver's side door. Slipping down from him, his eyes watched her every move. She willed herself to look strong. She knew this moment was coming…just didn't expect it on that day. She would've wagered another two weeks or maybe another month. He didn't want sex from her. He was craving the intimacy she wanted just like him. The intimacy they used to have. She wanted to quit the compound, but she couldn't let her Auntie down. How could she walk around that place with him there and not touch him anymore, or look at him with love in her eyes? What could she say to her daughter about her Baba not coming around anymore? He said he would still come see her, but why torture himself and them?

She moved slowly back to her apartment. He sat in the S.U.V. watching her, making sure she made it up safe. Once she was at her front door Erik drove fast out of the lot and she wondered how she could go on.

###

As always, he was true to his word.

Yani barely saw Erik. He knew her routine around the compound and made himself scarce. After a couple of weekends, it actually felt like he wasn't there. Leona kept her hours between lunch and before dinner, roughly five hours on Saturdays. When Chez had Sydette for the weekends, she would stay longer to help prep her Aunt for later in the week and to also do laundry and clean. It wasn't too much of a burden for Leona. There were only four men on site: Klaue, Limbano, a man called Unger, and Erik.

And as Erik said, they were kept busy with Klaue, so by the time meals were on the table, Yani could leave for the apartment to start laundry or cleaning as the men ate. She knew all the paths to avoid running into anyone she didn't want to see as she worked.

The few times she did spot Erik, he was right with Klaue and it was like everyone around them were ghosts.

School hummed along, and she actually went out with friends a few times when Klaue didn't need them to cook on the weekends. Once Leona knew what had happened between her and Erik, her Aunt tried her best to cook easy meals that didn't need Yani so much so she didn't have to be around the place.

Her heart still hurt, but Yani stayed mentally busy. Going out helped a lot. Having new guys push up on her helped a lot too. She didn't act on anything, but it did make her feel hopeful about truly getting over Erik.

She was redoing the floors in Klaue's house with fresh sealant when she heard new voices on the property. Erik was away on an assignment for Klaue in the states. She only knew this because he had gone to visit Sydette over at Twyla's when Nanette was gone for a weekend. He sent Yani a short text asking permission to see her and she agreed. Her baby girl had been grieving over him, and it hurt Yani's spirit to keep her away from him even though it would become permanent soon enough.

Yani put away her cleaning supplies so she could be nosey and walked up to the middle house.

"Oh, hey! Could you get me some fresh towels please?"

Yani stopped in her tracks as she stared at the light-skinned woman sunbathing topless near the pool. She was on a lounger with big sunglasses on and a tiny bikini bottom. She pulled down her sunglasses and stared at Yani.

"Did you hear me? Towels? You are Yani, right? The girl who works here?"

"Just a second," Yani said.

She walked up to the first house and checked on the pool towels that were tumbling in the dryer. She pulled out two hot ones and folded them quickly. She headed back down to the pool and handed the woman the towels. "Thank you. I'm Linda. I tried looking for some towels in the house but they weren't really pool towels."

Linda's curly hair was piled up high on her head. She was pretty and very matter of fact. Yani could see two other bodies moving around in the house. Linda took one of the towels and folded it over her chair. The second one she laid across her legs. Her chest, especially her breasts were tanning but her belly and her neck looked sunburned.

"Do you need some sunblock or tanning stuff?" Yani asked.

"Oh…no…I'm fine. I always tan uneven—"

"But it looks like you're burning a little bit."

Linda looked down at her chest.

"Ugh..you're right. You have any sunblock spray?"

"I'll look."

Yani left Linda and went up to the first house. There were pool supplies there. And also her Aunt.

"Auntie. When did that woman show up?"

"Miss Linda? She got here about an hour ago with two other men. Everyone is back."

"Everyone?"

Leona nodded and Yani went into the supply closet and pulled out two different types of sprays. She headed back to the pool and almost wanted to turn around and leave. Erik was standing out by the pool right next to Linda. He wasn't alone. Huntsman and Neal were there to. And so was that big guy from months before, Shipley. Linda had a towel covering her chest, and before Yani reached them, all the others headed down to Klaue's main house. All except for Erik.

Linda stood up and let her towel fall. Erik didn't even blink with bare breasts flashing in front of him. Linda had a slick smile plastered on her face.

This was the woman Erik traveled with.

Linda.

Yani felt her face get flush when Linda stroked Erik's arm. She hadn't seen Erik openly for two weeks, which was better for her of course, but seeing him now gave her butterflies in her stomach and a tingling rush across her chest.

That was still her man standing there. No matter if they had ended things. Roughly.

"You have two choices," Yani said.

She stood behind the lounger, her eyes on Linda. She could feel Erik's eyes sliding across her and she did her best to ignore it even though she felt herself trembling. Linda took the coconut-scented sunblock from her hand. She sprayed herself with a liberal amount of sunblock.

"Thank you, Yani."

Linda's voice was dismissive.

Yani headed back up to check on the rest of the pool towels. Her whole body shook once she was inside and alone.

Erik could have in-house pussy now.

Tahir had warned her that men like Erik used women. What would stop him from fucking that woman again?

Yani wanted to leave.

She threw up instead.

###

Erik was taking a hardline stance with Klaue.

They needed to move on Wakanda immediately. Before King T'Chaka started globe-trotting and making it difficult for Erik to claim his inheritance and blood right. He was tired of seeing the old King on tv with that smug-looking cousin of his. Claiming he wanted to be a broker for peace in the world. The fuck? A murderer claiming to want peace. In a world he had a disdain for. Turned his back on. Ruined Erik's life for.

T'Chaka needed to be in Birnin Zana when Erik took his life in front of the entire Wakandan Royal Court. He wanted that man's life blood spilling out on the floor as he turned his revenge on T'Challa too. He wanted the wretched King to see his son bleed out right next to him. They both could die together, side by side.

Erik wanted their Wakanda team to be small. Just Klaue, himself, Linda, and Limbano. They were the only trustworthy ones as far as Erik could tell from their behavior.

Linda was also pushing to make that move quick. Her greed for money was insatiable. She was even looking for side jobs outside of Klaue's sphere of influence. She was about her digital paper and pushed Klaue as much as Erik did.

Erik bought a plane ticket to London to be with his Aunt Serah in December. He would pick her brain and get as much museum intel as he could. He was also looking to see who would buy the vibranium once they hit the mother lode.

Erik had weapons devised to handle Wakanda and anyone else that got in his way. Klaue was pleased, but he was also scheming for more hits. It was hard for Erik to keep him focused on East Africa.

And then there was Erik's other problem.

Yani.

The more hectic the compound got, the more he tried to forget her. She was his peace, but he couldn't keep up the pretense of a life when it was about to be dashed to pieces. He hated the way he ended it. Erik thought they would have one last romantic day together, some time spent with Sydette—

Put it away.

Erik thought about the time he saw a therapist as a child. What was her name?

Dr. Davis.

The Black woman with big glasses and kind eyes. She taught him how to breathe and how to compartmentalize his anxiety and depression when it spiked. And he was spiking off the charts with both ever since he left Yani. He created an imaginary shelf in his mind as he did as a child. A shelf where he could put trauma up and away from him as he did in the past. Breathing deeply he imagined turning Yani and Sydette into tiny dolls. In his mind, he lifted them up and placed them high above him on a secure shelf. Once he placed them there, he imagined stepping away and not giving them attention less they cripple his ability to function normally. It allowed him to process his pain in small segments. It wouldn't disappear completely, but it helped him cope. Especially dealing with the high stress of being around Klaue and other killers.

It all seemed to work until he overhead Leona on the phone talking to Twyla when Yani was away from the compound buying supplies. She was on speakerphone as he was passing through to get some things from the dryer. He did his best to stay away from Leona too because her eyes seemed so hurt by their situation.

He heard Sweet Pea's voice and it felt like someone reached up and twisted the valves in his heart. His eyes shut tight and he almost started to cry. She was talking in complete sentences and asking inquisitive questions over the speaker and Erik pulled out his cell and texted Yani.

Can I go see the baby?

There was no immediate response.

Please?

He walked down to the middle house and sat on a lounger by the pool. Allowing his eyes to watch the dark blue water, he saw Jerome crawl across the pool wall. The iguana's eyes watched him, and Erik felt like the creature was judging him.

Could he blame him?

Erik did what he knew he was going to do. He allowed an irrational love to sweep him up, went into it willingly, and now he was reaping the shitty reward. He crushed a woman and her child.

You can see her.

Erik jumped up from the lounger, his heart thudding fast. It was the first communication they had together in weeks after he broke it off in anger. He ran to the car garage and grabbed the keys for one of Klaue's cars.

"Where are you going, mate?" Klaue asked.

Klaue stood in the doorway of the front house sipping on water and checking his cell.

"Weed run," Erik tossed casually.

"Hmmm. You seem to be smoking a lot lately."

"They got good shit here."

"Don't take long. Meeting after lunch."

"A'ight."

Erik felt nervous driving over to Twyla's house. She had moved near her job and they hadn't had contact in a long time.

When he knocked on the door of her cute little cottage, Twyla answered.

"Hey," he said.

"Good to see you," she said stepping back to let him in.

For some reason, he thought she would be abrupt with him. He had broken her cousin's heart. She seemed to read his mind.

"Big nigga. It's not mi business what went down with you and Yani, seen? You not normal, and she probably had no business fuckin' with you and whatnot. But I know you were the realest nigga to her in her whole life."

His head dropped down. Twyla turned her head.

"Sydette!"

"Whut?"

"What? Yuh talk to yuh Auntie like that? Come see mi now."

A whirling ball of legs and arms came running out from a back room with hair all over the place.

"I'm here!" Sydette said putting her hands on her hips, her eyes glued to Twyla.

"Lookie. Who that?"

Sydette's face turned, and when she saw Erik, her mouth dropped open.

"Baba! Baba!"

Her little legs ran in place. Erik bit his bottom lip and water dropped from his lids. He turned his head away.

"Hey…hey big man…no shame…" Twyla said patting his back.

Erik dropped to his knees and Sydette's little arms wrapped around his neck so tight.

"Baba? Why yuh crying?"

She patted his face and tried wiping away his tears.

Erik's throat was so choked up he couldn't even speak.

"It's okay Baba."

Erik wiped his eyes himself.

"Don't be sad Baba. I'm here. I make yuh feel better. Wait here…."

She ran from him and back to the room she came from. Erik stood up and Twyla rubbed his back.

"It's okay, Killmonger. I feel yuh."

Twyla's eyes were a little watery too.

"Oh look, it's Miss Penny," Twyla said.

Sydette came running back with the Black nurse doll Erik bought her that had the same black puffy hair as her with a tiny nurse cap sewn on the top.

"She make yuh feel betta, Baba. Here. Hold it."

She raised the doll above her head. Erik picked Sweet Pea up and rocked her.

"Thank you," he whispered. He coughed and tried to clear his throat.

"Have you eaten?" Twyla asked him.

"Nah."

"C'mon then. Got some stew peas and fish."

"Fish 'n peas!" Sydette sang out.

It was the best meal Erik had in a long ass time.

###

Chapter 21 Here

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[uzumaki-rebellion]

“Wet Sugar” [Part 18 of 30]

Summary: Erik and Yani deal with more than their immediate problem...

"It's taken me a little while to come back I've been working on some thing good Oh, so every now and then I tend to fall back Oh Lord, I've been misunderstood

Till you came along and you saved me You saved me with that good love Oh yeah yeah You came along and you saved me You saved me, ooo, with that good love…"

Gary Clark Jr.—"You Saved Me"

Erik woke up sweating and clutching his side.

His dream-state brain was back in South Africa, running outside during the raid on Klaue's compound.

A police raid supported by what Erik was positive was U.S. C.I.A. and U.S. military Black Ops. Shit was too streamlined and overly professional. He had enough time to put on his merc fatigues and shirt, his weapon locked and loaded.

Linda was just as fast, already moving down the stairs searching for Klaue and an exit strategy with her weapon in hand. They moved in tandem sweeping room to room until they reached a side door that led to vehicles they could use to try and make an escape. Linda jumped into the driver's seat of a jeep as Erik covered her with his Glock.

Attacked from the side, Erik shot a man in the head while another slashed his abdomen with a long blade from behind.

"Killmonger!"

Linda gave warning before she backed into the blade wielder, snapping his legs to splinters as she rolled over him. Erik jumped in the open back holding his side and shooting into the chaotic night.

"There's Klaue!" she yelled.

They saw their boss lighting up men, weapons, and police vehicles with his sonic cannon.

Smoke bombs choked Erik's throat. Linda whipped the jeep in front of Klaue. He dived into the front passenger seat and kept firing his arm doing the most damage out of all of their men. A police vehicle slammed into their jeep and Erik tumbled out landing on his back.

An officer tried to threaten him with an automatic weapon to his head, but Erik's legs helicoptered in a spin too fast for the man to react, and Erik had his gun and his life in a matter of seconds. It was fortunate that the police and their minions had no reinforcement. The power of Klaue's arm had their enemy shook and it didn't take long to overpower the raiders.

Back to back, Erik and Linda kept Klaue covered with their weapons as he was able to enjoy the full power of the arm Erik fashioned for him.

So many bodies.

There was no time to stack the dead or even worry about sweeping the compound. Klaue's crew re-grouped in the house and dispersed once Klaue gave them directions. The compound had to be stripped and abandoned.

"Killmonger, how bad is it?" Linda asked.

He was bleeding through his shirt and when he lifted it, he was glad to see the wound wasn't deep and had clotted on its own. If Yani saw that, she would fret.

If Yani—

Eyes focused.

Our Lady's Manor.

He was in St. Thomas.

His wound still had reddish inflamed skin, but it was from the cut through his keloids. Reaching for Yani next to him he saw that she was gone.

Barefoot, Erik strolled through the house looking for her. He was surprised at how late it was. Already noon. He worked late trying to test and stabilize the vibranium he brought back from South Africa. The gun shipment was arriving that day and Erik needed to prepare for new mercs—and Huntsman—coming onto the property.

"Yani," he called out. She wasn't in Klaue's main house.

He walked out of the main house and followed the path to the middle house. They had packed up all of Yani's and Sydette's things to place into the caretaker apartment. Yani was acting moody, and he thought it was because of the new people coming for a few days. They were arriving early with the boat because of a hurricane forecast, and Erik needed the weapons asap. He was upset because Sydette would have to stay at Leona's or Yani's parents, and he wouldn't be able to see her until the men left. He wanted them gone before the storm passed through.

He saw her walking to the middle house with Sydette fussing with the baby while holding her hand. Sydette started crying and Yani picked her up, still fussing.

"You need to listen to me!"

Her voice was sharp and Sydette arched her back, her wailing voice a shrill piercing to Erik's ears.

"Hey, what's going on?"

Yani's eyes were red like she had been crying.

"Mama!"

Sydette was really falling out.

"Stop it!"

"Yani, chill—"

"I've been dealing with her like this all morning!"

Erik took Sydette from her arms and the baby bent her body, her tears and cries for Yani troubling.

"Today not a good day, Sweet Pea?"

He tried to smooth over the tension, but Sydette was not having it and Yani was done with the whole situation.

"You go be by yourself, I'll take her."

Yani's eyes looked hollow, but she cut her eyes at Sydette's wailing and stomped into the middle house.

Erik cradled Sydette's head.

"Hey now…shhh…it's okay. We all have bad days baby girl. Today is stressful for all of us…shhh…"

Sydette's little chest shuddered and her tears dried up and her high-pitched whining calmed down enough to allow Erik to take her into the middle house.

He walked around and bounced the baby in his arms, checked her pull-ups, and made her a juice bottle. A half-hour later, she was calm in his arms and nodded off.

Something was wrong.

Yani didn't come to check on Sydette at all.

In fact, she stayed out of the living room the entire time.

Erik took Sydette into the smaller bedroom of the house and laid her on the bed and under the covers. He stroked the baby's hair and checked the room for safety before searching for Yani.

She wasn't in any of the other bedrooms or the kitchen.

"Yani."

A bathroom door was closed. He heard movement inside it.

"You alright in there?"

She didn't answer.

"Aye Ma, what's going on? The baby is sleep. We can talk."

He pressed his forehead against the door and then moved his left ear next to it.

"Yani, open the door."

He heard a whimper and he was ready to break the door down.

"Baby…c'mon. Open up—"

Yani's face was wet with tears and her eyes were closed.

Erik's arms shot out to comfort her, but she stepped back and sat on the closed toilet seat.

"What is it?"

"Mi Sweet Pea…we been fussin' all day. She make mi so vex this mornin'—"

"Slow down. Slow down. I'm right here."

Erik knelt down in front of her. His eyes checked her over, looking for any sign of what was wrong with her. His eyes flicked up to the bathroom sink. A white plastic store bag sat on the counter.

"Being here, I've been able to rest…think. Get back to mi own self, y'know. Lemme do what is good for we, yeah?"

He nodded his head, still not understanding her pain.

Yani reached for the bag and opened it, pulling out a slender box. He saw what it was and his eyes closed.

"I'm two days late, Killmonger."

He touched the side of her face.

"Two days doesn't mean—"

"I can't do this."

"Baby, you've been on the pill. We've been stressed a little bit from the men coming through. Don't jump the gun—"

Her eyes burned into him.

They had made an agreement.

If she were pregnant, they would terminate. That was the plan. Period.

But…

Second thoughts.

"It's early—"

"This test is the most accurate. It can tell you within a couple of days—"

"Just wait a few more days and see if your period comes—"

"I don't want to wait!"

Her shriek was loud in the small bathroom. It shook him to his core and he sat back away from her.

"Take the test. I'll wait outside."

He stood up and she reached up for his hand. A fresh tear streaked down her face and her hand trembled in his.

"I'll be right out here," he said.

Leaving her alone, he exhaled and cursed himself. He allowed the thoughts of a baby to hang around him, and now this. She took her birth control every day on time at the exact time every single morning. He should've pulled out more. Used condoms maybe…

If she were pregnant…

He paced a bit until she opened the bathroom door.

"Have to wait ten minutes," she said.

Her face was puffy, eyes swollen, and lips dry.

"C'mere."

He held his hand out for her and she took it. He hugged her and she held onto him tight. He didn't know what to say to her. Nerves on high alert, Erik rocked her and kissed her forehead. They stood together longer than ten minutes, both scared to look he assumed.

Walking into the bathroom together he squeezed her hand and she lifted up the tester and held it for both of them to see.

Not pregnant.

He didn't know if her exhale was louder than his own. When their eyes connected together, her lids pressed out more tears.

"Told you. Just nerves, baby. Stress."

Her hip leaned against the sink as he kissed her.

"Chez got mi pregnant on purpose."

"What?"

Her eyes were sad dark pools when she gazed up at him. Her words flew fast.

"Mi nuh want, Sydette. Him tear condom to get mi with pickney so I won't leave him."

She pushed back from him and wiped her face. Her chest heaved a bit from crying.

"Mi wahn abortion—"

"Yani…don't—"

"Mi need yuh tuh hear mi now. Please."

Erik's stomach twisted up.

"Him promise money for mi not to have a baby. He lied. Made excuses until it too late. Him say he take care of mi and mi pickney. I believed him, Killmonger. Then him get she pregnant…that bitch. Mi give up University…family put me out. I took some herbs and try to abort on mi own—"

"Stop."

Erik grabbed her and pulled her in tight.

"I had her. Do mi best to make up for not wanting her at first. At the hospital, when dem nurse put she in mi arms…I was so happy I didn't…"

She looked down at the tester in her hand.

"I have to finish school. Have to get a good-paying job so I can take care of we. Another baby would kill me right now. It took me so long to get here, and if I had another one…you could be like him. Leave me all alone. Not because you want to but because of what you do with Klaue. And mi can't…mi can't…"

"We should go see a doctor and make sure that test is accurate," he said.

She nodded.

"I want you to finish school. I want you to be independent. Okay? I won't trick you."

"I know you won't.

In his gut he felt bad for wanting to get her pregnant on the beach. He never wanted her to fear that from him ever again. She was a wreck. To go through all that with Chez and Sydette.

His eyes snapped toward the glass patio doors leading to the pool. Three of the six dragonfly drones he used around the compound buzzed past heading down toward the main house.

"Security Alert! Boat Dock. Security Alert! Boat Dock!"

The men had arrived. Early.

"Listen to me. I need you to take Sydette and leave here until tomorrow afternoon. I will call you with the exact number of people who are here. If I don't think these men are trustworthy, I will let you know not to come back until they are gone. Can you do that?"

"Yeah."

"We're okay, baby. I promise. I'm sorry Chez put you through that with Sydette. You are a great mother."

She threw her arms around him and he hugged her with compassion.

"Go. I need to get my Glock and get these fools settled."

Worry creased her face.

"Be scared for them," he said.

She smiled. He pressed his warm lips into her cheek.

She wrapped the tester in the plastic bag and slipped into the side bedroom to retrieve Sydette. He waited for them both to come back out. Sydette was still asleep. Yani kissed her little girl and Erik touched the baby's hair.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

There was no time to properly comfort her. They split directions outside by the pool. Yani went up with the baby and he went down, passing Jerome perched in a tree fast asleep.

Once he had his Glock, Erik headed down to the private dock. His mind tried to put Yani in a safe place as he stalked down to the intruders of their paradise.

###

"Killmonger."

Huntsman stepped onto the dock as their boat captain tied the boat down. Gray clouds rolled in from a distance, but they were still five days out from the oncoming storm.

"They clean?" Erik asked.

Erik was not friendly at all. Strictly business.

"Like a baby's bottom."

"Y'all stay in the middle house."

"Have any good food ready for us?"

"Nah. Self-serve for today. Housekeeper not in until tomorrow afternoon."

"Hmmm. The young one, right? Yani?"

Erik's eyes narrowed.

"We'll take the load up now," Huntsman said.

Erik's drones scanned the men. There were five in total.

Erik led them to the gun range and watched them secure the weapons Klaue wanted him to convert inside a large locker shed.

As the new men ate sandwiches and drank beer from the middle house, Erik turned on all security systems and cameras and linked them to his cell and his bedroom. He only allowed access to the middle house and called Klaue to let him know the goods had arrived.

Klaue's eyes were bloodshot, not from drink, but from lack of sleep. He was still in South Africa.

"There's word coming out from Wakanda that King T'Chaka is going on a speaking tour next year. U.N. The World Peace Foundation. The summit in Switzerland early spring. Might be able to take advantage," Klaue said.

Erik clenched his teeth. He could taste the throne. But he needed Klaue on the continent. Easier to move a body that way.

"I'll have a prototype ready for you next month," Erik said, keeping focus on his work, trying his best to keep his brain on that and not worrying about Yani being in any shape to drive to Leona's.

"The storm is tracking fast. Will they be gone in time?" Klaue asked.

"Three days is enough time based on the weather reports here. They could always go to Puerto Rico for a pit stop."

"Get them rested and out."

"Understood."

"Talk soon."

Klaue flicked out on the viewscreen and Erik headed back up to the middle house.

"We'll get fuel for the boat in the morning. Can we get Yani to whip up some steaks and shrimp for dinner tomorrow?" Huntsman asked guzzling down a bottle of Rum leftover from his last visit. He shared it with a new merc, a Black man with tats and a scowl to match Erik's. He didn't like the idea of new blood being at the compound without him knowing anything about them.

"I'll see what she has planned."

"Just you two here?"

"She comes and goes."

"Neal, wait until you see this girl. She doesn't talk much, but a looker…you okay Killmonger? Need a drink?"

Erik's eyes looked Neal over before he glanced at Huntsman. The brotha was muscular, but lean. Burn marks covered part of his neck and chin.

"I'm good. Glad the package is delivered. Klaue knows what's up."

"Don't understand why Boss stays there when he has all of this," Huntsman said holding his hands out. They stood around the pool area and Erik was ready for them to go away.

Leaving the men, he texted Yani, and when he slipped into the main house, he secured the domain and called her direct.

"You make it okay?"

"Yeah. We're here. The men alright?"

"Yeah. How are you? For real, Yani. Don't bullshit me—"

"I'm fine. Promise."

"I miss you already. What you said earlier, about you and Sydette-"

"Hmmm."

"I'm glad you had her. I know it wasn't easy, baby…but, I'll make sure you two are fine—"

"I will make sure we are fine—"

"I can help you."

"I know you can."

"So let me…"

He could hear Sydette in the background.

"She wahn talk to you."

"Sweet Pea." "Baba!"

"She is always yelling when she gets on the phone," Yani said laughing.

"You being a good girl?

"Yes! Come here."

"I can't Sweet Pea. Baba has to deal with some stuff. I'll see you in three days, okay?"

"kay!"

"Can you give Baba a kiss?"

He heard the sound of her mouth trying to send him a kiss.

"Don't spit, love," Yani said.

The sound of Yani laughing made him feel better.

"Huntsman is asking for steak and shrimp tomorrow night."

"How many there?"

"Five."

"There's meat in the freezer. Ten steaks. Still good. You'll have to thaw them out tonight. Don't know about the shrimp. Be expensive at the last minute."

"Do whatever you want. They don't have to have shrimp. Call me tonight?"

"I will."

"I can't sleep without you."

"I know."

"Be scarce when you do come here. Got some hounds over here. Huntsman already has you on the brain."

She sucked her teeth.'

"That wasteman. Pervert."

"I'll keep him in check."

"Killmonger…."

"Yes?"

"I love my baby. I love her. I don't want you thinkin' bad of me for what I wanted to do when I was desperate back then. She ah blessing. I know this."

"I know where your heart is, Yani. It's all good, Baby."

"See you tomorrow."

"Don't forget to call me tonight. More likely I'll call you. Love you."

"Love you back."

She sounded good. He was able to relax a bit.

Music played from the middle house. Killmonger didn't want to interact with them. But he had to.

Cigar smoke, raucous laughter, and bawdy humor greeted Erik.

He hung out with them until a couple of them passed out on the patio and the others tumbled into the house to sleep off heavy drinking. Erik secured the compound and slipped out with the S.U.V.

He ran up the steps of Leona's apartment complex and knocked on the door. It was late.

"Killmonger…"

Yani was wrapped in a yellow robe, her hair covered in a blue satin durag.

He moved into the living room and saw the couch bed pulled out. Sydette was curled up under the covers.

"Yani."

He hugged her and sat down on the couch bed with her.

"I'm going back, but I need to—"

"Shh…"

She laid back on the couch bed and he curled around her. The movement woke Sydette up.

"Hey Sweet Pea."

His baby girl crawled over Yani and tucked herself on Erik's chest.

He had to accept some hard truths.

His life was different. Having Yani and Sydette was not easy, but he needed them more than they knew. He had been turning into a robotic killing machine…one with a purpose…but losing his humanity. He felt it. The coldness.

He pulled Yani closer to him. Sydette's heartbeat thumped on his chest. They were anchoring him. He gently rubbed Sydette's back and felt comfort with Yani's arm thrown across them both. He stayed awake long enough to listen to them breath easy in their sleep.

Baba is this how you felt with Mama and me?

The longer he stayed on the island, the more he thought of his parents and his past.

He was acting out his father's life with Yani. The thought humbled him. The secrecy. The limited time to be together. He didn't want to end up like his father.

The plot to go into Wakanda had consequences. The biggest was not succeeding. He was prepared to die and leave an impact when he was alone. But he wasn't alone now. He made the foolish decision to align himself with this young woman and her baby. Willingly took responsibility for them and their future.

He had no fear of his mission before coming to St. Thomas. Now he was very afraid. He had to survive. Had to make it out alive. The baby sleeping peacefully on his broad chest was his now. He was shaping her life along with Yani's. His justice claim was bigger than just for his mother and father. He wanted to turn the world on its head for Yani and Sydette too.

He loved them but was afraid that their love for him would weaken him. Would he second guess his moves while plotting against Klaue? Would worrying about them cloud his judgment? It already affected his behavior in South Africa during the raid. Instead of acting, he reacted to everything going on around him, his focus on just getting back to Yani instead of looking out for Klaue. That focus allowed an officer to cut him with a blade, allowed someone to sneak up on him when that would never have happened before. He would have to go back to killer mode if Wakanda was going to be his reality.

And a pregnancy scare?

She couldn't have another baby now, but he wanted to have one with her in the future.

Future.

He was a dispossessed Prince. About to snatch his birthright. Yani could be his Queen. Sydette his Princess.

Erik dozed off, but his cell vibrated. The sun was three hours from rising.

Slipping away from his woman and child, Erik drove himself back to the compound.

###

Pulling the steaks out from the front house standing freezer, Erik took a moment to set his energy. He didn't want these men here. But he was following Klaue's orders.

He found Huntsman and Neal awake and drinking coffee in the middle house kitchen.

"Storm is moving faster," Huntsman said.

"It will touch down sooner. Might have to stay here," Neal said.

"We'll see," Erik said taking a mug from the cupboard and pouring coffee for himself.

The men spent time poolside and playing pool in the middle house den. They ate sandwiches again for lunch until Yani showed up. She immediately prepped for dinner and he kept his feelings in check when he caught Neal checking her out as she checked for propane in the outdoor grill outside the front house kitchen.

"Any chance for shrimp?" Neal asked.

Erik stood outside the front house with two of the mercs. Yani rolled up the sleeves of her sweatshirt and walked around Neal as she grabbed cleaning supplies to wipe down the grill itself. She didn't make eye contact with the man, but he kept pressing her.

"Yani…that's your name right?"

She stopped and put a hand on her hip.

"No shrimp. I have to get this together so I can cook. Whatchu need, man?"

Her voice was curt and it reminded Erik of how she sounded with him when he first saw her. He smirked and kept his eye on the stranger.

"Just asking a question."

"Excuse me," Yani said walking back into the house.

Neal watched her, took a sip of the beer he was drinking and followed her. Erik zoned in after him.

Yani had the kitchen in prep mode, steaks marinating, potatoes grated to make potato and cheese fritters, with asparagus tips stacked on a tray.

"You have a nasty attitude," Neal said.

Yani stared at the man, as she washed her hands in the sink.

"Yo…bruh…I need you to stop bothering her while she's trying to work."

Erik moved in close to Neal. Yani stepped back behind him and grabbed a hand towel.

"She can't be pleasant to guests? She does work for us."

Erik grit his teeth.

"She's not here to entertain you. Let her cook."

Neal gave Erik a bit of reckless eyeballing. He looked over at Yani again.

"Be nicer. I know jobs are hard to come by on these little islands. Hate to see you mess up a good gig."

"Mr. Klaue is my boss. Not you," Yani said.

"Neal—"

Huntsman walked in. His eyes flickered over Yani and he waved for Neal to follow him out. The moment they were gone, Yani held onto the sink and took a deep breath. Erik reached out and touched her hand, but they kept the contact brief.

"Has he been coming at you like this a lot?"

"Just staring. Asking for shit…"

"Like?"

"Water. Soda. I keep away from the middle house, but he comes up here."

"I'll keep my eye on him."

"He has a bad vibe. Like Huntsman."

He wanted to hold her, but she went back to work and he left her alone.

"Youngblood."

Neal stood by the pool area with his cell out. Huntsman and the boat captain walked down toward the bottom of the pool patio steps to admire the view of plants and flowers framing a view of the sea.

"That you up there?" Neal asked.

Erik played dumb. He didn't like being called Youngblood. This dude was probably only a few years older than him.

"You know what I'm saying to you. You bust up in there like captain-save-a-hoe."

"Respect the staff, man. That's all.''

"I'm respecting it. But you know how these lil island freaks be. I'm trying not to be a line stepper, so that's why I'm asking. That bitch hefting around something I want to sample. S'why I'm asking. That you?"

One thing Erik was never able to do was hide emotion on his face. This nigga had his pressure up.

"Mmmhmmm,…yeah. You all over that. Shit must be real good since your face is about to crack."

"You talk too damn much. And assume a lot."

"How that ass feel-?"

"Watch your mouth, bruh—"

"She gonna like some new dick. I break bitch's backs—"

Erik's hands wrapped around Neal's throat and he threw the man off balance.

###

Yani heard the commotion down at the second house. It took her a moment to realize something was wrong because the men had been loud all afternoon and she was doing what Erik advised and stayed out of their way.

When she heard Huntsman shouting with rage, she left the grill and ran down to the noise.

Erik and the new guy Neal were trading punches, and the other men tried to separate them. The imbalance of men pulling Erik back made him fall and Neal leaped on him and battered Erik's face with his fists.

Yani wanted to run down and help Erik, but he told her to act like she didn't know him or like him the way she did when she first met him. She stood away from them with her fists balled up to her face.

When he was able to shake the other men from pulling on him, Erik's hands became like hooks and he ran them hard against Neal's chest and stomach. Neal grimaced and Erik gave a solid hit to his face with his elbow and the man staggered back grabbing onto his head.

BLAM!

They all jumped when Huntsman shot off a weapon above their heads.

"For fuck's sake…what are you two fighting about?" Huntsman yelled.

Wild-eyed, Neal wiped his bloody mouth with his hand.

"Youngblood is mad that I asked about him fucking the housekeeper."

Huntsman's eyes landed on Yani and she felt her face get hot. The other men stared at her too. Erik fixed his shirt and rubbed his face. There was no blood on him.

"The man is out of line and disrespecting Klaue's housekeeper. I'm not wit it. She works too hard to be harassed—"

"He's just pissing a circle around her. No big deal," Neal said.

"You are disrespectful," Yani said.

The men stared at her again. Erik gave her a look to be quiet, but she couldn't.

"Him pester mi, the second I get here—"

"No one is listening to you—"

"Everyone gwine hear me. You annoy the fuck out mi—"

"Go back up to the house, Yani. He won't bother you again," Erik said.

"Alla you stay out mi way. Dinner will be ready in thirty minutes. If yuh late I'm not heating nothin' up!"

She stomped back up to the kitchen of the first house and pulled on grilling gloves. She was still agitated when she put the first rack of steaks onto the grill. All would be medium-well. The moment the steaks were on, she went inside to fry up the fritters. It would only take a few minutes to cook the asparagus.

Being in the kitchen alone she found her groove and the repetition of frying and draining potatoes calmed her down. Neal was going to push Erik's buttons. She didn't think that would be the last fight between him and Erik. She had no idea how he figured out her and Erik's situation because she knew for sure she played her part with no slip-ups. He must've said something to Erik to set him off.

Yani moved back and forth from the kitchen to the grill. She saw the mercs heading up to the dining room and she quickly put the asparagus on after cleaning the grill from traces of steak meat. She was fast and had the food on the serving tables ready to go by the time Erik showed up. He sat at the head of the table and Neal sat at the far end.

The men ate in silence most of the time and every now and then they all looked outside and commented on the small gusts of wind that rattled the trees. Hurricane season was always touch and go, but the upcoming storm was shifting constantly. She texted Twyla to check on Sydette making sure to stand where Erik could see her in case anyone came into the kitchen for ice.

It was challenging having the men back. They changed the atmosphere of the compound instantly. Where she had once frolicked around the estate with her baby and walked nude when she felt like it for herself and her man, she now felt like she was in a prison. She couldn't smile, move around freely, and worse still, she couldn't touch Erik or be touched by him. She saw the irritation on his face all day as he had to interact with the mercs, and she wanted to rub his back for him. When she first arrived, she saw his face get tight because it was normally their time to cuddle on the couch and have him suck on her breasts while she stroked him to a pleasurable release in her hand. She did her best to wear the most boring work clothes, but Erik's eyes were still watching her with desire. Maybe Neal saw that and put two and two together.

Finished with their meal, Yani cleaned up the dining room. Halfway through her work, she went to the restroom, and right when she was done peeing, she felt a familiar rush of blood release from her.

Thank God.

There was no need for a doctor's appointment.

She stuffed toilet paper into her underwear and made a quick dash to the apartment under the house. She had tampons stashed there and cleaned herself up better. She took time to give prayerful thanks. Before she ran back up to finish cleaning, she wiped her face with a clean warm rag in the bathroom.

The men were back down at the pool drinking hard and playing rock and roll oldies and goodies. Erik was not with them.

Yani moved in stealth mode and used a seldom-used path to sneak down to Klaue's main house.

The retina scanner gave her instant access, and she found Erik staring at the living room viewscreen. A storm tracker channel was on.

"Did he hurt you?"

Yani ran her hands over his face and chest. He smiled at her and pulled her hands away. When his arms wrapped around her, she gave out a sigh of relief. Together alone at last.

"Why did you fight?"

"It was stupid on my part. You have to keep away from that creep. He wants to fuck you."

"He said that?"

"Nigga bold as fuck. He asked about you and figured out shit…and I reacted like a dummy."

"I can survive two more days…"

Her eyes held his.

"What?"

She held him tighter.

"My period finally came. Right after I cleaned up."

"Told you," he said.

Yani stared up into his eyes and saw something she didn't expect.

Sadness.

Wait.

Did he want her pregnant?

"Incoming message. Chambers, Linda."

"Go to the bedroom," he said, pushing her that way.

Yani backed away from him, then turned to make it into the room before he answered the call. She kept near the open bedroom door. Her eyes were just able to see the viewscreen from where she stood.

"Linda. Talk to me."

Erik's voice sounded worried.

Yani felt worried the moment she saw Linda's face filling up the entire viewscreen that covered a whole wall.

She was dressed like the mercs Yani had seen at the compound before, but her eyes, they didn't look at Erik like he was a fellow co-worker. She looked at him like she knew him in a biblical way.

"Boss man wanted me to check up on you all. We're watching the storm. Category 2 now heading past Barbados."

"We're good. Why you and not him?"

"Staying off radar. You know. Are the boys aggravating you yet?"

"Always. Tell Boss man all is well."

"Will do….but uh…you and I still need to have a little discussion about some things. We didn't get to work some stuff out in Joburg."

Yani leaned in as far as she could. She didn't like how easy going this woman was talking to Erik. And Erik, he sounded stilted in his speech, like he was trying to get her to shut up…

"Klaue needs you to check out some contacts. Sending you intel now."

"Later," Erik said.

He shut off the viewscreen.

"Yani. Come out here."

Yani stepped out of their bedroom and sauntered over to him.

"I know you heard her."

"You fucking her?"

She didn't mean to say that so abrupt. She wanted him to confess.

"I fucked her. But before you. Before us—"

"Please don't lie—"

"I'm not lying."

"What she mean 'bout you not finishing some stuff? You were with her when you were gone?"

"She was with me, and Huntsman, and Klaue…all of us. Together."

Her side hurt. Late cramps squeezed her.

She believed him.

"You finished with the Kitchen?"

"Yeah."

"Go on to Leona's and be with the baby. If I can get away from here I will."

"Okay."

He reached out for her and she stepped into his arms.

"Please don't fight. I don't care what that bum says about me."

"I'll keep my hands to myself."

"For serious, Killmonger. You don't know how you look when you fight. It's scary. My heart can't take it."

He kissed her lips before he released her and slapped her butt.

"Get out of here. See you in the morning."

Yani blew him a kiss and slipped out the front door.

"So, it's true."

Yani froze.

Huntsman stood at the bottom of the porch deck smoking a cigar. He blew smoke her way.

"You and Killmonger."

Yani ran past him.

Chapter 19 Here

###

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