‘K-king Mario! We have a new visitor in the kingdom. He says he’s an old friend of yours...’
“ Oh? Well, that sounds interesting. Feel free to let them in, Clarence! “
‘Of course, King Mario.’
...
“ Hello, Mario. “ Said the muscular figure, as an aura of positivity and strength covered him from head to toe.
“ Gigachad?? I haven’t seen you in the last 800,000 years! “ The plumber would hastily hop up from his throne, before running up and giving his old friend a chadly fist bump.
“ Ah, forgive me for that. Being a therapist and personal trainer took up a lot of my time. That, and making sure none of the bad guys in the meme dimension break through into the real world. “
“ Sounds like you’ve really got your hands full... Regardless, it’s good to see you again, old friend! Wanna go have some chocolate parfaits? “
“ Of course, Mario. “
And thus, they’d head out to the desert shop in Mario’s Moon Kingdom.
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20th Anniversary Map, with commentary by Kerubim Crepin and Joris Jurgen
The frustrating thing about this map, is that nobody who got it has decided to scan or transcribe it, for documentation's sake. So I had to complete this list of all the commentary using tweets and unboxing videos.
But, at the very least, we now have documentation of what this thing actually says.
Joris and Kerubim's text is colour-coded for your convenience, and this post includes both the French transcription, and English translations.
La carte du Monde des Douzes. par Joris Jurgen et Papycha
The map of the World of Twelve. by Joris Jurgen and Papycha
ASTRUB:
J: Chez Papycha ♡ / Papycha's home ♡
J: Les Araknes, c'est dégueu-monstrueu! / Arachnees are icky-creepy !
J: Je pari que la tour du Xélor fou est par ici. / I bet the Mad Xelor's tower is here.
K: Perdu, mon Jojo ! / You lost the bet, my Jojo!
SUFOKIA:
J: de lourds secrets sont enfouis dans ses profondeurs... / dark secrets lay buried deep within this place...
ILE DE MINOTOROR / MINOTOROR ISLAND:
K: Croyez-le ou non, le Minotoror est terriblement chou... / Believe it or not, but the Minotoror is awfully cute...
FOIRE DU TROOL / TROOL FAIR:
K: Ma meilleure partie de pêche aux koin-koins ! / My best quaquack fishing experience ever!
J: Lorko -> 🚶♂️
(personal note: i have no fucking idea what a Lorko is.)
ILE D'OTOMAÏ / OTOMAÏ ISLAND:
J: contacter en cas de besoin 👍 / contact him should the need arise 👍
BONTA:
J: Là où j'ai taqiné la boufballe avec le giga gran Khan Karkass!! / Here I playd boufball with the supa-duper cool Khan Karkass !!
(personal note: This means that Kerubim and Joris started work on this map while still living in Astrub, but kept working even after the movie. Cute.)
(personal note: A French person who helped me decipher this part, said that Joris makes quite a lot of spelling mistakes here. I'm sure there are more that I didn't catch in other parts of the post. He's very wonderful, very cute.)
ÎLE DE MOON / MOON ISLAND:
J: autochtones sympas. ne pas rester pour le dîner. / nice locals. don't stay for dinner.
K: Bashy, mon pote d'enfance, semait la terreur aux ces flots ! / Bashy, my childhood friend, sowed terror among these waves!
ILE DE NOWEL / KWISMAS ISLAND:
J: Les cadeau sont mortels! (vraiment!) / The gifts are deadly ! (really !)
FRIGOST:
J: Bienvenu chez le Yech'ti! / Welcome to Yech'ti's !
K: Passe-lui le bonjour de ma part ! / Say hello to him for me!
PANDALA:
J: commander de la chichala à zato / order chichala from zato
(Personal note: this suggests Joris might be just as heavy of a drinker as Kerubim. Or at least into very intense drinks, similarly to Keke. He's so real for this.)
ÎLE DES WABBITS / WABBIT ISLAND:
J: éviter le wa... / avoid the wa...
J: L'île de La Likrone... Par là d'apré la légende. / The Unikron Island... This way, acording to the legend.
K: T'es à l'ouest, mon Jojo ! / It's to the west, my Jojo!
(Personal note: Joris wrote "d'aprés" with a mistake. I'll try to translate his little mistakes, if I notice them, or can come up with a way to do that.)
K: Le réceptacle des Dofus / The Dofus Receptacle
X Traverser le pont / Cross the bridge
X Parler au chaman / Talk to the shaman
X Boire un coup / Have a drink
(personal note: this is a reference to the quest "The Dofus Receptacle". The bridge referenced here is the bridge to Pandala.)
K: Je suis sûr qu'Indie a pris ce bateau ... / I'm sure it's Indie, who's on that boat...
VULKANIA:
K: Contre Grozilla, je me suis dépensé sans compter ! / I gave it my all, while fighting Grozilla!
Dessinée à l'ancre de Kralamour. / Drawn using Kralove eenk.
Propriété de Joris © / Property of Joris ©
Ne pa toucher / Dont touch
(Surtou si vous vous apelé Lilotte) / (Espeshaly if you're name is Lilotte)
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Free roaming gods in arknights are fucking hysterical. The chinese-equivalent pantheon god of painting is an extradimensional squatter. She'll show up and draw an entire room on your wall and live in it forever. That's kind of what she did. The residential weirdo shut-in from Engineering who routinely forgets to eat for several days called her 'some weirdo shut-in' in an official document. This tendency was partly a coping mechanism to the fact that her gf is in fact mortal and will die; their names are literally 'Dusk' and 'Dawn'. Girl deadass came in Doctor's room to sketch and insisted it's hers, being confronted with the fact that it's Doc's office, she went 'but what is personal property, really? Am I not also inhabiting this room, Participating In Labour? How are we fundamentally different?'
Nian technically represents metallurgy but constantly churns out shitty b-list movies and tempts people to play mahjong with her on their work shifts, this is partly a coping mechanism in response to the constant existential dread that herself and siblings will suffer ego death one day after being alive for centuries. Same. She's a mere professional squatter but I still love her.
Ling -allegedly- took a thousand (not projectiles) shots in a go in front of the entire Rhodes bar and spewed pure poetry. Just vandalises a random fucking wall with some archaic meters, tail dipped in ink, while making up songs at top lung capacity. Probably weekly. Everyone thought it was kinda rad and want her to stay - this is also by far the strongest reaction Rhodes Island has toward one of these goobers. She lounges around mountains all day looking at the moons or some crap, blood alcohol level perpetually minimum 200%, still insists to Doc she never got drunk her entire life. Her canon superpower is not giving a fuck and Dusk is concerned with the metaphysical consequences of her stop giving a fuck about the laws holding the universe together. She slew a dragon-god vestige by not really giving a fuck about it. Other than this she's a surprisingly well adjusted person, as opposed to the two giga failgods.
Kjera founded a nation in the mountains. Their culture is centered around her as a religion and the country is named after her. They think she's the best thing that happened before sliced bread and she's convinced it was an enormous blunder. Her public status and legal station is her pope's maid and both of them snuck off to some roving hospital as temp workers. There are currently two (2) other people in Terra who seem at all aware of this. Her pope is the person equivalent of a moderately lazy housecat and HG tried to hide they're in deep gay love but i suceeded a heroic int check and now know otherwise.
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