#girlie said I cant leave here by myself. when i go back its not gonna be good for me... and he heard 'ohh So you do worry about me' lolol

[storge]

If we fail… We won't fail. I'm here.

Story of Kunning Palace (2023) 1.35

[imaginespazzi]

PARRRRTTTT SEVEN REACCTTTIONNS

- nivi u angel bby thank you so much for the update!!! i always look forward to monday updates (west coast girly u did it with hours to spare) BUT REMEMBER don’t over work yourself over getting us updates!!! ily!!!

- my goal for the chapter is to stay far away from cliffs because i seem to always threaten them!

- stop paige’s little mini panic then relief when azzi and stephie are still there 😭😭 sweet girl went through it:(

- “and maybe this is how i become whole again.” oh hey it’s me, remember before i started reading i said i would stay clear of the cliffs? yeah well, fuck that! find me a cliff because i died dead. screaming, crying, throwing up. NIVI u are my evil genius but please please just protect her heart PLEASE.

- okay paige just left the bed if she leaves the house without speaking to azzi and stephie u might finally get some tears out of my eyes! i rlly don’t think she would but…

- stop poor drew 😢drew being annoyed with paige switching teams?!? im nervous for drew and azzi reunion.

- going to be honest i don’t really interact with azzis brothers stuff anywhere so i don’t know anything abt Tallulah but she seems so sweet in your fic ❤️‍🔥

- stop the fudds missing paige and talking about her😭😭 im on the floor next to the cliff bleeding out

- stop tim and paige mean so much to me

- stop paige legit tripping over her feet at the sight of stephie upset MY HEART

- STEPHIE ASKING PAIGE TO PROMISE SHE WILL NEVER LEAVE 😭😭 im scared

- I PROMISE ILL TRY TO STAY. fuck i’m scared

- god. your writing is a masterpiece. this whole situation is damaging my soul. i don’t hold it again azzi, im fully convinced she has her reasoning that were VAILD but oh my god i feel so bad for paige (this is not me saying that azzi didn’t go through shit too) but my poor bby is terrified i feel so bad ☹️

- stop stephie really is a mini azzi 🥹🥹

- love.

- kill

- me

- now

- let’s go back to me at the bottom of the cliff bleeding out, my pulse is barley there now.

- STWAAAPPPP paige spoils stephie it’s so cute

- YOUR DAUGHTER 🥹🥹🥹🥹

- i can’t tell if that helped or made my pulse worse

- hey so my baby fever is still here and killing me.

- “ONLY FOR YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER.” my pulse just gave out, flatlined, not breathing, dead 🤗 thank you so much.

- YES PAIGE YOU ARE SAFE WITH AZZI.

- JANNNNNAAA MY GIRRLL

- Aunty Chérie you say? hmm i can just smell paige’s jealousy

- “you’re supposed to be holding me and i’m supposed to be holding you; it was meant to be us.” hey so i somehow just died even more😁

- okay here is the thing, i feel for olivia i do. the situation most have been hurtful to her however, CUNT CUNT CUNT DONT U DARE EVEN THINK A NEGATIVE THOUGHT AGAINST THE AMAZING, PERFECT, GORGEOUS, SMART, TALENTED, LOVELY, AZZI FUDD. her and her passive aggressive comments can leave.

- OHHHHH AZZI FUDD, YOU ATE HER UP SHE MAY BE 5th BEST BUT MY GOD AREBU NUMBER ONE BY MILLLLLLLES.

- “if it was azzi” paige babe let’s fast forward to that divorce.

- also paige going on tik tok spirals abt azzi while her wife is in the same room is just WILD and kinda sad almost makes me feel bad for mrs. cunt (my sympathy for her evaporated the second when opened her mouth around azzi 🤬🤬)

- the whole last section. omg. i know i already died then came back to life but i am not FLINGING myself back off the cliff 😁

- GODDDD NIVI u talented, talented women i cant believe how you always are able to amaze me with your writing.

- i’m gonna be honest it’s 2am for me i started reading at 10 and i just finished. i kept having to take breaks because i was screaming, no tears though!

- chapter was 100,000/10

- QUESTIONS FOR NEXT CHAPTER:

- OKAY so ms french girl whose name i can’t remember at the moment is no longer playing with the valkyries… are we gonna get like flashbacks of azzi and her in future chapters?

- this may be dumb but if the olympics were 2028 next ones were, 2032 and its 2033 right? so did the other olympics pass? are we gonna learn more about that? did azzi and paige win gold? IM SO CURIOUS!!!!

- okay that’s all i got i think…sorry for yapping so much!

oh also i kept dying but it’s def gonna keep happening tbh

-🤩🤩

HI MY LOVEEEEEE <3

- You're literally the most precious soul ever and lowkey I really needed to hear that cause I do mayhaps stress just a little bit about updating so thank you :)

- I like that you said you were going to stay away from cliffs and then managed to get through exactly one bullet without jumping off a cliff...

- I lowkey don't know a lot about Tallulah either because I only really have second-hand knowledge of the lives so I'm just lowkey molding her into what works for the plot I guess? But I'm sure she's lovely irl too!

- Circumstance truly is a bitch because I think they're both pretty scared of things beyond their control being an obstacle again

- Baby you really went through it for a couple of paragraphs there huh?

- Listen if I have to suffer through baby fever, you're all suffering with me like I keep having to remind myself that a college dorm is not appropriate for a baby bassinet

- MRS CUNT made me cackle out loud

- Omg not 4 hours babes lmao but I'm glad I still haven't brought you to tears!

- Hmmm I lowkey don't think there will be flashbacks of Clémence like that because her and Azzi's past isn't quite as integral as their present (opposite of Olivia in a sense I guess)

- The next Olympics were in fact 2032...I wonder what happened? I wonder if we'll find out?

Never apologize for yapping, it makes me so happy to hear everyone's thoughts!

[soggypotatoes]

ok ok im leaving hospital on monday but now im. now im very very anxious about leaving

like. not only do i have access to all sorts of unhealthy coping mechanisms at home. i dont have anyone giving my meds to me at set times??? also im gonna have no sleeping meds bc the only ones that work rn are hella addictive and he said hes only gonna let me have like 4 after i leave???? so im gonna end up not sleeping, losing my whole routine, fighting off dastardly urges all day and night, having to cook and clean and walk dog and pack and PACK and make DECISIONS ..........

i mean yes i will have good shower. and friends. and dolg. and mum visiting most days. ill have help.

BUT WHAT DO I DO WITHOUT THE SWEET CLEANING LADY WHO CHIRPS AS SHE COMES IN AND DOESNT JUDGE ME FOR THE HORRIBLE MESS AND JUST SWEEPS AROUJJND ME AND TALKS ABOUT BLUEY

AND THE SWEET GAY NURSE ON NIGHT SHIFT IM IN LOVE WITH WHO BRINGS ME  MY ZOLPIDEM AN D TREATED MY SELF HARM THAT ONE TIME SO GENTLY AT 5AM AND CALLS ME DARLING AND TAKES MY PHONE AWWAY BC HES A TIKTOK GIRLIE AND KNOW S WHAT ITS LIKE TO SPEND 8 HOURS ON TIKTOK INSTEAD OF SLEEPING

AND THE NURSE IM IN LOVE WITH WHO TRIES TO GET ME UP AND GET ME EATING FOO D AND WAS SO HAPPY WHEN I GOT UP BY MYSELF AT 8330 THIS MORNING AND LIT4ERLALY JUMPED FOR JOY WHEN I SAID I SCHEDULED AN APPT IVE BEEN PUTTING OFF FOR A YEAR AND A HALF AND WHO THELPS ME CLEAN MY ROOM AND DOESNT JUDGE ME FOR MY MANY CUPS JUST FILED WITH SUNFLOWER SHELLS

AND THE SWEET NURSE ALSO WHO FOUND ME ON THE FLOOR AND FOUND OUT I HADNT EATEN IN A FEW DAYS AND SCOOPED ME UP AND TOOK ME TO A TABLE OUTSIDE THAT UR NOT MEANT TO BE ALLOWED AT AND PUT AN INSIDE CHAIR THERE SO I COULD SIT AND BROUGHT ME BACK LIKE EVERY FLAOURR OF YOGHURT AND FRUIT AND OPENED THEM FOR ME TO MAKE SURE ID EAT IT

AND THE NURSE THAT ALWAYS SHOWS ME FUNNY EDITS OF HER DOGS SINGING SONGS AND ALWAYS ASKS WHEN REGGIES NEXT VISITING  AND BRINGS FOOD TO MY ROOM WHEN I CANT LEAVE

AND LINDA WHO I ASKED HER TO BRING BEDSHEETS CAUSE I HAD BEEN SLEEPING ON APPLE JUICE FOR 5 DAYS AND SHE WAS LIKE ‘ITS OK IT HAPPENS’ AND CHANGED THE SHEETS FOR ME AND SHOWED ME WHAT SHE WAS DOING SO I COULD LEARN HOW TO DO IT MYSELF (theres a lot of layers due to hygiene) AND STOOD BY ME MAKING SURE I PUT AWAY ALL OF MY CLEAN CLOTHES FOR THE FIRST TIME I GOT HERE 2 MONTHS AGO

AND THE OTHER PATIENTS HERE WHO ARE DELIGHTFUL, ONE SLID A BEAUTIFUL COLOURING PAGE OF THE FIRST LETTER OF MY NAME THAT SHE DREW AND SHE SLID IT UNDER MY DOOR ?????/ AND SHES SO NICE AND THE GUY I PLAYED CHESS WITH AND THE OTHER GUY AND THE GIRL I WAS TALKING TO,,, AND THE ONE WHO GOES ON WALKS WITH ME AND HAS REALLY ENTHUSIASTIC CONVERSATIONS AND STUFF

YEAH SHE SHOWERS HERE SUCK BUT WHEEEERRE ARE THEY ALL GONNA BE ITS JUST GONNA BE ME ??? ALONE??????????? AT HOME WITH ALL MY RAZORS AND WEED AND SHIT AND N0B0DY TO TALK ME THROUGH THINGS??????? NO PSYCHIATRIST 3X A WEEK, NO GROUP THERAPIST CHECKING IN ON ME ONE ON ONE TWICE A WEEK.... i will have my psychologist bUT SHES GOING AWAY FOR 3 WEEKS SOON she did offer to see me once during that but OMG

i have a lot of people with me here, i have plenty of beautiful friends offering to help, my mums gonna help too... im just scared. mostly about the sleep thing, i knowwww im gonna stop sleeping and this schedule ive managed to cultivate for the first time in ever will be fucked. like, ive been sleeping at midnight, getting up at 8:30, it’s insane!!! i do nap a  bit after cause my brain is so stressed and overwhelmed and tiiiired but it’s something!! i really want to try to hold onto this i really hope i have the strength. please, please have the strength to get up, please, even if you literally want to die. and take your meds every night and get off your phone even if it’s so so scary and you don’t know what to do without it. PLEEEEEEEEASE MAKE THIS WORKKKKK

[theravencawsatmidnight]

Part Two

W! Drinking, stabby stab, attempted Non C but it does not happen .

Touya,21.The drunk Future King whose only interest is whores and brothels

Natsuo.18. The Middle Sibling who is just like his father

Shoto.16.the youngest and most reserved, has no interest in marriage but would like a companion

Reader is a rebellious princess in a falling Kingdom and is sent off to live with the Todorokis in hopes of marriage to save her family. But Reader has other plans in mind.

tags/ @no-post-ghost @yoonbbyboy @pinkjellychan @squeaky-ducky​

You wasted no time ditching the family for the courtyard after dashing out of the carriage and right past Enji, you were over Natsuo and his creepy behaviour and over this whole arrangement.  With a groan you stopped next to some trees and slipped between two large oaks to conceal yourself for a minute. You sat down hugging your knees panting slightly. It was a pretty courtyard, full of flowers funny enough since only men seemed to lived in this rotten castle. 

 So what now? The King would not be happy at your actions but if he tried to hurt you it would hinder his plans for his precious sons. So you were safe for the most part. The oldest, Touya did not really seem interested in courting you anyway, to focused on his drinking and keeping his brother in line.  

 The thought of Natsuo made you gag and cough a bit, what an awful person and he's gonna be King eventually? Maybe you could cut his balls off to save whoever marries him.  Sighing you relaxed against the tree letting one leg down admiring the clouds that rolled on by, the sky seemed more blue here than at your Kingdom too you, weird. 

 “Uhm…?” said a voice, it sounded skittish.

You rolled your head to the left to see a boy about Shotos age looking at you, he had royal clothes on and had crazy green hair. You tilted your head at this boy and brought your legs down so you were criss cross. 

 “Yes?” you asked curiously

“Is Shoto around?”

“I think so , the main entrance.”

“O-oh uh, okay, i can wait here then. May i sit by you? My names Izuku of Midoriya Manor”

“Sure kid,” you scooted over a bit for him to join you.”Y/n of Alastar”

“Oh thanks !” he sat by you but seemed to be looking around

“Something on your mind?”

“Oh uh n-no, im just waiting for Shoto, his father does not a-aprove of me so we have too …” he trailed off rubbing the back of his head.

“Hm? Well your safe with me kid, i doubt that big ape approves of me too.”

“Are you to be wed?”

“Sadly.”

“Uh- uhm!,” he rubbed his hands together. “You seem really cool and can protect yourself..” he told you, pointing to the knife on your person. “Just watch out for the middle sibling okay?”

You got up patting your butt free of dirt and Shoto squeezed through the trees to see you and Izuku.  Shoto hugged Izuku and the two sighed with relief to see each other. 

“y/n. Touya wants to see you to show you around, hes at the stables, around the corner from here”

“Okay Shoto, izuku was waiting for you, i never saw him though.”

 The youngest gave you a gentle smile and a nod as thanks. 

**

Squeezing back through the trees you strolled around the courtyard admiring the flowers before meeting up with Touya. No sign of the King or his creepy son , the courtyard had a large apple tree in its center but it only had one apple on it and it looked to be rotten which was weird. It's definitely apple season. Hm.  thinking nothing of it you made your way around the large castle to see the stables and Touya petting a large black and white mare of the face in long strokes.

“Whos a pretty girl ? you you you” he cooed at the sleepy horse.

“Dont take you for a animal lover” you joked walking up to him. “Wheres idiot 1 and 2?”

“My father is giving Natsuo a talking to so im trusted to show you around” he pointed to the castle “thats the castle” he pointed to a stray window at the top “thats your room”

“A five star tour i see”  you pet the horse admiring its coat. “ lovely colors”

“Reminds me of my life from before” he told you while taking out his flask to drink.

“Hm? Whats that mean? And whos this Izuku that was sneaking around?”

Touya sat down in a empty stable drinking more before answering you. “Thats Shotos boyfriend, dont tell anyone or i will kill you myself. Im the only one who knows”

“i wouldn't do that Touya, he said Enji does not approve of him?”

“Yep” he fell into some hay drinking more. “They want to leave when they turn 18 and have a farm, im helping make it happen”

You sat down by the hay watching this man drink his life away , he had not one care in the world, unless it was Shoto related. 

*

Some time passed and you and Touya were sharing the flask now.

“So .. what did you mean by your life from before?”

“Mmmm… i was going to be a father, at least.. Thats what i was told.” he sat up pushing his hair outta his face. She was a brothel worker and i had gotten her pregnant.” 

 You listened to him taking note of the hint of sadness in his voice.

“I was excited, i wanted to be a dad.” he told you looking over at the horse.”she had black and white hair, i called her my little… berry.., i did everything right, i told her she could live with me and be a Princess and we could be happy. But i also told her i did not want her working the brothel anymore obviously,” 

  He brought his knees up laying his elbows over them looking at the ground between his legs. “She told me she would stop but something felt weird so i checked on her and she was still working it. I confronted her and she said she needed the money for the baby and i told her i have more money than i know what to do with, the months went on and she eventually stopped, her bump was small and everytime i felt it , i dont know. It felt off. One day i woke up early and looked over at her, she was asleep on her stomach and .. she was too far align to be doing that.” he looked up at you, his eyes slightly red. “ she lied to me, for my status, my wealth, my name, it was some kind of material to seem like a bump, she tried to tell me it was my fault.”

“Touya…”

He ignored you. “What she said stung more than the faked pregnancy. I had to know, for sure. So i contacted a witch and she performed some kind of spell on me and ..and..”

You moved closer, placing your hand on his arm , he took a big drink and lowered his head again. “ i cant… have children… “

You pulled this man into your arms trying your best to comfort him. He just cursed up a storm and told you how excited he was, how he was going to move away as soon as Shoto left with izuku and start an even bigger family with the woman he loved. Touya wanted his own Kingdom but in a quiet place no one knew about where he could be happy.

“Everyday… i curse Natsuo, he does not deserve to have children” he pushed himself off you to wipe his eyes. “ no one knows this about me y/n”

“Touya its safe with me”

“I have no interest in getting married anymore, i dont care.”

“Thats perfectly okay Touya”

He sniffled not looking at you. “Thank you for listening, you should get settled into your room, top floor last door on the left.”

“Youll be okay?” you asked, getting up

“Nope” he got up walking past you “but thats just how i like it” he waved not looking back as he headed into town.

*

The castle was full of expensive things: statues, paintings, rugs, swords. Anything you could think of. Big wide open rooms with ceilings higher than you had ever seen. It smelled like the kitchen was to your right and the main rooms looked to be up the rug covered stairs. You could hear Enji yelling at Natsuo when you got to the top , you snuck by peeking in every room you passed, looked like bedrooms. You heard a door slam and looked over your shoulder to see Natsuo brooding outside the door talking to himself. 

   You slipped into your room and scanned around the giant room, pretty bed, too girly honestly. A wooden vanity with glass in it and a couple windows. You checked outside them all , dammit. Nothing to really grab on to for a quick escape? You thought on it inspecting more and suddenly you were grabbed from behind and flipped over and pressed against the window, your hair blowing in the wind. 

 Natsuo was pinning you down looking very angry with you. You stuck your chin out at him reaching down for you knife.

“Yes ? your highness?” “I should … should… “ he pressed harder into your shoulders. “You . so mean, you made a fool of .. of me? In front of my father? I ?” his gaze dropped and he grabbed the knife tossing it out the window . his voice got louder and he shook you. “ they tell me i should kill you !! but!! My voices arent always!!.. Correct so …”

“Let me go !! get these gross hands off me !” you fought his grip and he threw you onto the bed pinning you from behind. “ why are you so … SO SO difficult? Im a future KING im in CHARGE not YOU” he reached back fussing with his belt and you got very still.

“Is that why your upset hm? I hurt your ego?” you asked looking back”pitty” with a quick snap of your arm a second knife shot out of your left sleeve and stabbed Natsuo in the arm. He cried out falling back and you pushed him out fo your room. “Sorry, no middle siblings allowed” you slammed the door locking it and pushing some heavy furniture in front of the door for the time being. 

 You could hear Natsuo crying in pain in the hall but you did not really care, it sounded like he was walking away and you finally… finally..alone. You sunk down to your knees” what the fuck man…”

*

[wolferals]

🔆PRISONER🔆

reader x him (imagine any guy)

„Put your arms on the counter."

I followed the police's orders and did as she said.

She started feeling me up, starting at my breasts down to my knuckles.

„Alright follow me Miss." I grabbed my bag that had been set on the floor after she's gone through it to check if I had any potential weapons with me.

„There's one thing you should know about him."

She started as we walked down the long grey corridors to the prisoners cells.

„Yes?" I asked nervously while struggling to keep up with her steps.

„He is tremendously good at charming people. Like immensely good, he will have you wrapped around his criminal fingers faster than you can even introduce yourself. So keep in mind what he did and try to focus on your questions."

You nodded as she opened a heavy metal door leading to the interrogation rooms.

„These two gentlemen will be right here if you need them, they will interfere right away. Just remember, 30 minutes from now."

She spoke one last time before opening the door, letting you into the white locked up room.

The unexpectedly handsome criminal sat on one of the chairs, leaning back, crossed legged.

„Well hello there peachy." He grinned at you, making his blue eyes light up.

„Hello." You sat down opposite of him and took out your notebook and a pen.

He suddenly sat up straight and leaned dangerously close to your face. „Uhm we.. I have some questions for you."

He just nodded back at you, sending you a cocky smile.

„Come on then girly, we got 30 minutes only."

You took a deep breath before starting to speak.

„What does it feel like being in here for such a long time?"

He didn't even change his expression and replied:"It's great man, absolutely great. Got my own room, have a lot of time to think and can masturbate whenever I want. It can be quite shit though because if you do it too often, your balls get all blue and start hurting."

Your mouth automatically hung open at his words.

„Uhm okay... Im gonna write *getting a chance to think about my actions*".

He chuckled. „Alright then. Next question peachy."

You swallowed and continued:"Okay, whats gonna be the first thing to do once you get out?"

He started grinning right away. „Easy. Find you, peachy."

-„What, why?"

This time, he laughed out loud, leaning back again.

„You'll see baby." He gave you a wink, which made you roll your eyes, yet you had to grin.

„Write that though. And once you're at it, write down your number for me so I can give you a call sometime."

You give him a serious look and then paid attention to your notebook again.

„See my family and friends." You spoke to yourself while writing.

„Oh come on girl, family and friends? Who am I, Alice in Wonderland? Write something better, like *get drunk and hookup*."

-„I'm not going to write that! I will get graded on this."

He chuckled again and leans forward again. „You gotta pull that stick out your bum. And once we're already at that, Imma help you find a substitute for the stick. Little hint, its my cock."

He started laughing at his own joke loudly, while you just looked at him in disbelief. Something inside of you wanted to laugh as well but he was a criminal, he almost killed a guy and also beat up lots of other people.

„Okay... third question. Whats the most important thing you've learned in here?"

The handsome blue eyed man smiled. This time, really sweetly and honestly. „I learned that sometimes its really important to fully trust yourself and focus on your own good. Like ya I fucked up and these are my consequences, but once I'm out there Imma care about myself in the first place because on one will ever believe in myself the way I do."

You nodded at him and smiled. He seemed really passionate about that which touched you.

„But again, uhm peachy, i wanna see you out there in 3 months alright?"

You laughed a little while writing his previous answers. „Im serious. I can show you that I'm not as bad as you think."

This time you smiled at him. „Alright you know what. Do you know the chapel down Jamison street? If you plead guilty at your trial and get out that day, be there at 4:30pm sharp."

His eyes lit up as he nodded. „For you, anything."

Rolling your eyes again, you chuckled while packing your stuff.

„Okay Miss, 30 minutes are up. Say goodbye Prince Charming." The male cop spoke as he waited for you to leave the room.

„Bye, see you next week." You waved goodbye to the handsome stranger.

„Hey peachy, when you come back please bring a photo of yourself. I need something pretty for my room."

You chuckled again, smiling goodbye.

„Bye peachy. You're real hot you know that?"

-„Shut it boy. Don't harass the young girl." The cop spoke, leading you outside.

While walking to the front door you heard his voice one last time, as he was walked through the hallway as well.

„I cant help it man. She's real pretty, I guess Imma behave now to get out."

[xsixxx]

Bad Influence, Chapter Eight

Authors note: Hiya guys, it's been a while 🤙🏻 Sorry for the wait, I've had a rough few weeks, so I took a break from a lot of stuff, Tumblr included, but I'm back & I've been working on this chapter piece by piece. It was originally supposed to be longer but I've decided to split it into two separate chapters, which means at least the first part of ch.9 is written!

Thank you all for baring with me, I'm sorry for the wait!

So on with the goddamn show 🤟🏻

Warnings: Language, sexual tension, love triangle awkwardness, Beth being a super slut, loads of angst

Tags: @triplehaitches @freddiessmallnipples @queen-crue @scarecrowmax @lovesick-heart0 @littlesunnymoon @80sheart-strings @cranberribread @inthebackofmycarlaytheirbodies @deaconsroger @zoenicoles @crazysaladchopshop @ggorehorror @lunamadhatter99 @justtryingtoovercome @chaoticvybe @you-know-im-a-dreamer @eightiesrockbaby @valentines-in-london @xrosegoldwolfx @fupatroopaa @lilypetite88 @this-blog-must-be-the-place @ashleecrue @lauravic @dark-princess99 @unknownoblivion @mgkobsessed @antheasnow

(I've given up trying to find matching GIFs for the chapter so here's one of Erin Moriarty who is legit Beth in my head)

*Beths POV*

I rolled out of my bed, pulling on a tshirt & yawning as I went. I glanced across at the naked rockstar, asleep in my bed, which had become quite a common occurrence since the KISS tour ended for Mötley.

Vinces blonde hair lay feathered around his sleeping features & I couldn’t help that girlish feeling of excitement & smugness in my stomach as it struck me, as it does every morning that I wake up next to Vince, that this beautiful man that women threw themselves at, wanted to be sharing my bed.

I smirked to myself as I slipped silently out of the room & made my way into the kitchen.

“Coffee?” Came the always chirpy voice of Tommy, who was grinning ear to ear as he stood in just his boxers in the midddle of the kitchen, changing the filter in the coffee machine. I eyed him up & down, trying to muffle my giggle at the sight of his long chicken legs in all their glory.

“Please.” I mused back to him, smiling.

“Good night?” He winked, catching sight of my yawn as I draped myself lazily against the wall.

"Probably about as good as yours from the sounds of it," I sniggered, "I thought we were having a competition at one point!"

Tommy let out a loud, hearty laugh that immediately made me giggle. His happiness was infectious.

He poured out the coffee into two mugs before sliding me a sly smile as he opened up one of the cupboards & produced a bottle of whiskey. "Fancy making it Irish?" He chuckled.

"Tommy, it's like 10am!" I laughed, shaking my head at him.

"So?! It'll get us in the mood for tonight! You're still coming, right?" He asked as he poured way more than a shot into each of the coffee mugs & handed one to me. I rolled my eyes at his offer of corruption, but my smile betrayed my & I took it from him, more than willingly.

"Of course, you really think Vince would let me miss it?!" I snorted, taking a sip of what was, let's face it, 1/3 whiskey with a coffee mixer. I tried my hardest to keep a straight face as the alcohol hit the back of my throat & immediately warmed my chest, chasing away any remnants of lathergy I might've had. "He's desperate to show off for me, it's been so long since I've seen you guys play!"

"He won't be the only one up there showing off for you." Tommy said, smirking behind his mug as he took an impressive gulp without so much as a blink.

I feigned innocence. "What, are you gonna twirl around your little sticks to try & impress me, T-Bone?" I winked, sticking out my tongue cheekily as he playfully nudge my shoulder, his laughter ringing around the kitchen once again.

"You wish girly," he sniggered. "You know who I'm talking about."

I pretended to rub my chin thoughtfully. "I didn't know Mick had a thing for me.."

Tommy let out another infectious laugh that instantly had me giggling along with me.

"So," he started as we both composed ourselves & I took another sip of my drink "Does Vince know what you & Nikki have been up to then then?" Tommy winked.

I nearly choked on my mouthful of whisky as I clamped my hand over Tommys mouth, peering out of the kitchen door to check we weren't in danger of being heard.

I removed my hand from Tommys mouth to reveal a grin behind it. "So it is true!"

"What, n-no!" I stumbled, knowing I wasn't fooling him, not even close. I relented, sighing as I did. "Goddamn it Sixx, can't keep his mouth shut.."

"Oh, Sixx didn't tell me." He smirked, "I see how you guys act, it's not hard to put the pieces together, you hate each other a little too much." He laughed, his grin growing wider. "I'm kinda surprised Vinny hasn't figured it out yet either.."

I scoffed. "If Vince ever noticed anything other than pussy or his fucking hair, then hell must be freezing over."

"Babe, if hell is freezing over, it's only because you've been warming the devil's bed." Tommy winked again, chuckling darkly as I took a swipe at his arm.

"Ok, well A," I started, as my hand caught him just below his shoulder sharply, wiping that grin off if his face. "I am not sleeping with Nikki! We kissed once! And B, how do you know I call him the devil?!" I asked sheepishly, my face flushing red with embarrassment.

Tommys mouth grew wide again as he rubbed his arm where I'd hit him. "Oh Sixx loves that shit, he brags about it all the time to us!" Sniggered T-Bone, before noticing my face & visibly grimacing. "I said too much again, didnt I? Beth, I'm sorry! He doesn't take the piss or anything," he rushed, stumbling over his words, "you just know him, that sorta shit builds up his ego, calling him the Devil is probably the biggest compliment you could give that twisted fucker!"

I groaned aloud as I downed the last of my whiskey with one swift gulp, hoping it might chase away my memory of the last 5 minutes.

"I can't believe you know!" I moaned, hanging my head.

"I can't believe you thought you guys were being subtle!"

"T-Bone, you gotta keep this to yourself ok? I like how things are with me & Vince right now, we're having fun & I kinda wanna keep it that way. And, for the love of God, don't tell Sophia. I can't be dealing with her disapproval on top of my dad's & my sister's right now." I finished, shaking my head. Tommy looked at me with that cute, dopey look that instinctively made me feel warm & trusting.

"I promise, I won't." He smiled affectionately. I could tell he meant it.

*Later*

*Nikkis POV*

I winked as I approached the gaggle of girls hanging around the door that lead to the backstage of the Whisky.

“Nikki, look for me in the front row.”

“Hey Nikki, cant wait to see the show tonight.”

“What are you doing afterwards Sixx?”

It was always the same. The girls always sounded the same, saying the same things, hoping to be the one to grab my attention that night. They were all starting to look the same too. The same hair, the same tight dresses, the same fake smile plastered on the same forgettable face.

Didn’t matter to me though. I fucking loved it.

I stopped next to them, leaning against the wall & flashing the arrogant smirk that never failed & I watched as they fell to pieces in front of me.

“So, what are you girls hanging around back here for?” I asked, making them giggle.

They babbled away, doing their best to impress me with their answers as I shut off, letting my eyes & my mind wander. I was halfway done mentally undressing them when a soft, flirty voice cut through the noise of the groupies.

“Hey rockstar, what’s a girl gotta do to get backstage?”

I turned my head, my eyes meeting with Beths before they trailed down every goddamn inch of her fine self. She was dressed in an oversized Led Zeppelin tshirt, tucked into a high waisted black denim mini skirt & white sneakers. She definitely wasn't like all the rest.

“Just show up looking like that, angel.” I smirked, not able to stop my eyes tracing her every curve. I strode towards Beth, leaving the wannabe groupies behind me without another word or thought, took her hand & lead her through the door.

“So when’s our next therapy session, Doc?” I mumbled, wrapping my arm around Beths waist, pulling her close as we walked.

Beth let out a forced laugh, wriggling away from me & glancing around quickly, checking we were alone. “Nikki, that night was purely for research purposes, we are not making that sharing circle a regular thing.” She said, her eyes darting around, looking anywhere but at me

“How about we just make the last part of our session a regular thing then?” I mumbled, placing my hands on her hips & pulling her into me once again, leaning my face towards hers, closing the gap between our lips.

Beth took a sharp step back & finally allowed her eyes to meet mine, a look on her face somewhere between panicked & scornful.

“What’s the matter, angel? Worried your boyfriend is going to see us?” I mocked, brashly reaching for her hand, but she snatched it away.

“Yes.” She snapped, before checking herself, blushing pink. “I mean, not that I think Vince is my boyfriend.. Obviously.” She stuttered as I let out an offhand chuckle.

“I should hope not.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?!” Beth retorted, her whole body suddenly stiff & defensive.

“Calm down doll, I only meant that Vinny ain’t the dating kind, I don’t want you getting you hopes up.” I shrugged.

“I’m not one of those girl out there you know,” she gestured towards the door that lead to the faceless groupies. “I don’t crave this bands attention & I don’t need it. Maybe its me that wouldn’t date Vince, ever thought of that?!”

I raised my hands in surrender to her over-sensitive tirade. “That’s all good then, because Vince definitely isn’t gonna date you darlin’, so don’t get used to your sleepovers." I replied, a little too harshly as I let my jealousy seep into my words.

Beths face went dark & her usually soft features looked twisted & angry.

"What's with you tonight, I didn't realise it was possible for you be more of an asshole than normal." She barked.

"And I didn't realise it was possible for you to be more of a stuck up bitch, but I guess people can suprise you." I hurled back, irritated by her defensive attitude.

"Real fucking nice Sixx, thanks. And just when I was starting to think you weren't all bad after the other night.."

"Oh, so you do remember the other night?" I cut in sharply. "Because here's me thinking it must've all been in my head being as you've been doing everything in your power to avoid me since then & pretend like it didn't happen."

"Oh grow up Nikki, I haven't been avoiding you. I've been working & hanging out with Vince, I'm sorry I haven't had much chance to stroke your fucking ego for you."

"I could probably free up some of your time if I went & told Vince that little promise you made me the other night. What was it again? Something about making me kneel before you'?" I laughed smugly as Beth's eyes flashed with fury.

"Christ, you just can't stand the idea of someone turning you down, can you?"

I let out a dumbfounded laugh at her bold pretension. "Remind me Beth, when did you turn me down?. Was that before or after you asked me to kiss you? Or maybe when you were up on the kitchen counter, moaning into my mouth." I asked snidely.

She glowered at me. "What part of me still sleeping with Vince & refusing to kiss you just now makes you think that I'm interested in you?"

I was beginning grow infuriated with her condescension, how could she just pretend like the other night didn't mean shit? "Tell me, is Vince really that good in the sack?"

"And what's that got to do with anything?" Beth fired back, irritated.

"Must be a good fuck if you're willing to get attached to someone who's gonna drop you any day now." I shrugged, pretending I couldn't care less.

“So that's the plan, he gets bored of me & then what Nikki? I move on to you? You get to sleep with me & ‘fufil my dark fantasies’, twist me into someone as fucked up as you so you feel a little less alone?” She spat venomously, her voice cold & sharp, taking me by surprise. My body went rigid as I felt anger descend over me like a mist. Beths face flushed pale as mine turned red, but she remained stubborn, folding her arms across her chest defiantly.

“Fine, fuck off with Vince.” I seethed, my jaw clenched & my mind ablaze with the thought of Vinnys hands on her, touching her like I’d not been able to stop thinking about touching her since that night he first took her home. “He'll get bored of you soon enough, I know I already am.” I finished bluntly, fixing Beth with a stone cold glare before spinning around on my heels & marching towards the backstage door. I leaned through, deciding I’d pick the first one that looked at me.

A tall, slender brunette in a tight red dress with fake tits & that usual fake smile glanced round, her eyes brimming with excitement when she spotted me.

“It’s your lucky day darlin.” I cooed, taking her by the hand & pulling her through the doorway & away from her fake ass friends. Probably for the best, they’d all hate her now anyway.

I turned back to face Beth, smug smile at the ready, trying to think up a shit-eating remark to say as I walked past her, but she'd already disappeared.

Fuck.

"So rockstar, where's your dressing room?" The brunette asked, her fingers finding their way under my shirt to my chest as she draped herself seductively around my arm.

I looked at her with uninterested eyes, my mind still entirely too focused on Beth.

I guess I could use the distraction, I thought, taking the brunettes hand & leading her down the hall & into the dressing room, untying my leather pants as we went.

*Later*

“And where the fuck is Vince?!” I yelled at Mick & Tom, tapping my foot impatiently as we all waited to the side of the stage.

“Not sure,” Tommy lied, badly, “I’m sure he’ll be here in a sec.”

“Pretty sure he’s in the toilet.” Mick mumbled, without looking up from tuning his guitar. Tommy nudged him nervously, but Mick just grunted, flicking him the middle finger without a glance.

I watched from the sidelines as Beth & Vince emerged from the toilet together, giggling like goddamn school kids. White hot jealousy burned through me, flooding my veins as saw them, hand-in-hand, disheveled hair & satisfied smiles plastered on their smug faces.

"Nice of you to fucking join us." I spat as they strolled over to us at their own pace, still laughing.

"Oh come on Nikki, we ain't due to go in for another 15 minutes, chill out man." Vince shrugged unconcerned, fueling my outrage with his nonchalance.

"You might care more about getting your fucking dick wet than you do this band Vince, but this shit actually matters to the rest of us, so either change your attitude or you can get the fuck out." I seethed, my eyes flitting dangerously to Beth, who had taken a cautious step back from me.

"Sixx man, come on," Tommy said, gripping my shoulder, trying to diffuse the situation. "it's not a big deal, we don't need this shit before the show."

I took a steady breath, trying to regain control over my temper. "Just go & change before you make us any later," I hissed at Vince through gritted teeth.

Beth lingered awkwardly as Vince waltzed off to the dressing room, unsure whether to follow him, stick around or simply leave. I decided to help her along with her decision.

"I think it's best you go." I said to her coldly, my bitter jealousy plainly obvious as I turned around & marched towards the back exit, desperate for a smoke.

"Nikki, wait-" Beth called out, following me outside into the cool night air.

"What do you want Lizzy?" I snapped, sparking up my cigarette & taking a long, deep inhale. "I've got nothing to say to you."

"I'm sorry-", she started, but I immediately interrupted.

"For what?! For fucking Vince & almost derailing my show?!”

Beths eyes narrowed. "I was going to apologise for what I said earlier, but yanno what, fuck you." She fired back, defensively. "Why would I be sorry for doing whatever the fuck I want with Vince, it's not like its any of your damn business."

"My fucking band, my fucking business sweetheart." I seethed, taking another long drag through my gritted teeth.

"No Nikki, just because they're in your goddamn band, doesn't make any of those guys in there your property, you don't get to lord over them like you own them." She replied, feeling brave.

"And what about you, huh? I fucking made you into this over confident little groupie & frankly, you're getting a little bit too comfortable around here."

"Excuse me?!" Beth thundered, her whole demeanor changing, "you didn't make me into anything, you egotistical prick!'

I smirked arrogantly, knowing I'd got to her. "You come to my gigs to see my band, you fuck my front man, snort my drugs, party with my guys. Who were you before you met me? A stuck up little princess who didn't know how to have fun. Face it doll, I fucking made you." I scoffed as I watched Beth's face flush red with anger.

“And what about your new piece of ass, huh? You gonna make her too?” She snarled. “You’re pissed because I fucked Vince but you’re a goddamn hypocrite Nikki, I saw you with that girl, taking her into the dressing room. I'm guessing she didn't go in there to help you with your fucking makeup?"

I paused, caught off guard, not realising my plan to make her jealous had actually gone to fruition. I couldn’t stop the sly smile from creeping on to my face. “What does that have to do with anything?” I asked, my voice changing swiftly from enraged to calm & deadly smooth in an instant, enticed by her hint of jealousy & eager to hear her answer.

Beth squirmed a little, realising the corner she’d backed herself into. She looked deliciously trapped.

“I just-” she tripped over her words as she scrambled for an excuse. “I just don’t get it, why are you so pissed that I fucked Vince?” She asked, diverting the attention for herself.

“Because I want you.” I said plainly, switching gears, my anger melting away as I watched her discomfort double as she tried to stay mad.

“What?” She asked, shaking her head in annoyance.

“Because I want you Beth. I’ve wanted you since that night I caught you doing blow in the bathroom with Tommy, the night that Vinny took you home when it should've been me. I want you & I want to be the only one that gets to have you.” I replied bluntly, smirking as Beths mouth fell open a little.

“But you don’t.. You don’t do the whole exclusive thing.” She mumbled awkwardly, still processing my words.

“You’re right. See princess, I’m selfish like that.” I purred, taking one last drag on my cigerette before flicking it away & taking a step towards her so our bodies were practically touching. “I don’t like exclusivity, but also, I really don’t like to share.” I breathed, our lips practically touching.

Beth scowled, suddenly finding her voice. “Well that hardly seems fair. You expect me to be loyal to you whilst you fuck every woman that shows you some attention?!”

I chuckled darkly, knowing how unreasonable I was being. “Pretty much.”

“You’re such an egotistical asshole!” She yelled, raising her hands to shove me away from her, but I caught them by the wrists in one swift movement & pinned them by her shoulders. Beths delicate features were twisted, her perfectly shaped eyebrows were furrowed in anger & her soft pink lips were pulled into a tight, thin line as she fought against my grip. She glared at me, eyes dark & full of hostility. Yet I saw a lingering passion in them. Her tight lips relaxed for just a moment & I saw her drag her bottom lip through her teeth, those dark eyes darting to my mouth. I smirked.

"You’re right, I am an asshole. But you still want to kiss me, don’t you, angel?" I breathed, tightening my grip on her wrists, grinning wider at her mixture of discomfort & pleasure.

Her lips parted slightly & I could hear her breath quicken as I watched her internally fight with her desires whilst I fought with my own. On the surface, we hated each other. I hated everything she represented, the fact that she didn't like my music & how she was like every other girl, sucked in by Vince's blonde hair & boyish charm. She hated my arrogance, my runaway lifestyle & the fact that I could see right through her good girl act & get under her skin like no-one ever had. And yet somehow, that hatred had paved the way for an attraction neither of us could fathom or understand. It was illogical, unwise & entirely unwelcome. But it was also intense, salacious & completely overpowering. We both knew we'd have to give in to it eventually.

She kissed me, unable to restrain herself any longer. I released my grip on her wrists & buried my fingers in her hair, pulling her closer to me. She tasted so damn sweet.

I pulled Beths hair roughly, tilting her head & exposing her neck as I placed hungry kisses along her skin as she moaned aloud, pushing herself up against me. I placed my hands at the base of her pretty neck, running my thumb across the skin gently as I brought her lips back to mine, dragging her lower lip between my teeth. She groaned into my mouth, rubbing up against me as I squeezed my grip around her throat a little tighter, smirking against her kiss as I did.

She was fucking delectable.

Just then, the backdoor to the Whisky swung open, returning us from our heady escape back to the dingy alley with a crash.

"Nikki, come on man, I thought you-" Vince started to say, before catching sight of us jumping a mile apart in a failed attempt to look innocent.

I coughed, trying to regain composure. "Yeah yeah, I'm coming."

Vince's face was like thunder, a mixture of outrage and betrayal turning up a storm. "Nah, doesn't look like you got that far." He spat

"Vinny, I-" Beth stumbled, walking towards him.

His eyes shot from me to her, disgust adding to the mix of emotions he was displaying. "I haven't got nothing to say to you." He said harshly, cutting her off. "& You, brother," he drawled sarcastically, "get your ass inside, we've got a fucking show to play, remember? Or do you care more about getting your dick wet than this band?" He quoted, bitterly.

"Fuck you, Vinny." I shot, shoulder barging him as I shoved past to get through the door.

"Fuck me? Are you fucking kidding, Sixx?" He screeched, quick on my heels. "You're out there grinding on my fucking girl & you're acting like I'm the fucking problem here?"

"Your girl?" I laughed crudely, "Since when does Vince Neil have a girl?"

"You know damn well what I mean. I haven't been hooking up with her for this long for you to just go & help yourself." Vince snarled.

"Well maybe Beths got her reasons for looking elsewhere." I sneered, getting brave.

"And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Well Vinny," I started, taking a smug step towards him, getting in his face, "Maybe if you satisfied her, she wouldn't come to me."

"Shut the fuck up Sixx, you know that isn't true!" Beth yelled, pulling on Vinces arm in a feeble attempt to separate us.

"Why else would she come running to me right after you'd finished fucking? Your bathroom fuck clearly wasn't enough for her so she had to come looking for someone that could finish her off." I suggested arrogantly, smirking at my own maliciousness.

"Vince, just walk away." I heard Mick say from somewhere, right before Vinces fist flew at my face.

*Beths POV*

I sat at the bar, drinking away my humiliation as I watched the two guys I'd shamefully kissed in the space of 10 minutes, up on stage playing a visibly tense set. Nikkis angry red cheek was glowing like a beacon for the whole audience to see.

"It's not like you & Vince were anything serious." Sophia said, serving me up another shot of tequila. "I mean, that guy has definitely been screwing around since you guys first hooked up."

"I know & if he'd caught me with anyone else, I don't think it would be a big deal, but it definitely crosses the line to go with one of his band mates & best friends really, doesn't it?" I groaned, burying my face in my hands. "Plus, I'm not exactly a normal groupie, Vinny is my friend, we hang out, he spends the night.." I trailed off, knowing I'd just put a definitive end to that.

"Why were you kissing Nikki?!" Sophia asked, raising her eyebrow knowingly.

"Don't start Soph ok, I don't need it." I replied, necking the shot & gesturing for another. "Let me just bury my shame in peace & fucking tequila."

"I don't get it though, I thought you were liking things with Vince?"

"I was loving things with Vince, I don't know what the fuck I was doing." I sighed. "All I know is that Nikki has a direct line to both my last fucking nerve & my emotional g spot apparently. Who knew they were connected?" I groaned, mentally scolding myself for the millionth time.

"You gotta figure out what you want babe." Sophia said sternly, disapproval written all over her face. "But what you've gotta remember is, neither of these guys are in this for the long run, so are they really worth it?"

I fell silent, sparking up a cigarette & looking back across at the stage.

"I want you, I need you

I want you to be mine tonight.

You need me, you tease me

Use you up, throw you away."

I listened to Vince sing, watched him prancing around, his striking good looks & flamboyant attitude on stage so appealing it made me weak.

Then I looked across at Nikki, dark & brooding, the complete opposite of what I thought my type was. He was conceited & rude, his lifestyle & interests were the furthest thing from my own & he pissed me off like no-one ever had.

If I was being honest with myself, I'd say that, up until tonight, he was right; I'd thought myself above Nikki Sixx.

But tonight had changed everything.

Tonight I'd realised that I wasn't better than anyone else, I was just as bad. Worse, maybe.

I watched Nikki pluck away at the strings on his bass, enjoying the sound for the first time. I let my mind wander back to that night he said he should've taken me home. The same night he promised to drag me down with him.

He'd been right about everything. I wanted excitement in my life, I wanted to have fun. I wanted someone to fulfill my darkest desires. I wanted someone to show me how to enjoy the dark parts of me. And that just wasn't Vince.

I watched Nikki play intently, that spark of desire igniting inside me once again. I wanted him.

My bad influence.

[blondecarfucker]

Bed of Roses (Last Chapter - 21)

Roger Taylor x Reader

BoRhap!Roger Taylor x Reader

Fic Summary: It's 1971. You just moved to London to study, and you find a band on a local pub after a bad date. The encounter doesn’t go the way you expect it, and neither does what follows this evening as you try to deal with loving Roger Taylor.

Fic Note: So I’ve had this story in my head for the last three weeks and finally decided to write it down. It’s completely planned. It will have 21 chapters and it’s divided in three acts: Dusk, Night and Dawn. It’s will be a bit angsty in the future, and it will most likely have some smut as well. I hope you guys enjoy it! Tell me what you think about it in the asks/comments/messages. If this is your first time stumbling upon Bed of Roses, thank you for stopping by! The rest of the story is in my masterlist, the link is in my bio - can't put the link here or else the post will disappear from the tags.

Chapter's notes: THE LAST CHAPTER. I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE. i feel like before i start my thank yous i could give you some weird trivia on the story. i wrote the entire outline for the fic at a weekend shift at work, where i always have free time. i had some smaller ideas - them meeting at a bar and not seeing again, the whole kensingon-taxi-class thing from the beginning - but there was a sudden burst of inspiration and in like twenty minutes the outline was done, and very little has changed, i mostly just added some more details. also, i imagine the reader as alicia silverstone in the 90s?? idk. i just do. also, the reader thing with new york comes from the fact that i lived there for a while and i miss it so much, so thats why theres so much detail about places and stuff - its my form of revisiting my favourite spots there. also, will (REMEMBER WHEN) was written with sebastian stan in mind, and liv tyler (in her lord of the rings days) was poppy. i did too much research for this fic on queen history, and everytime i had to change something (especially in the first act) so the dates made more sense, it KILLED ME.

anyway, now the thank yous: SHIT THIS FIC IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT CHAPTER ON MY LIFE. its my first time writing such a long story without abandoning it, and my first time writing fiction in english, so i learned so much!! i was doing some research the other day, and the great gatsby is like 47k words long, and the first harry potter is around 70k words long - bed of roses is around 60k words long. this is crazy.

it's also my first story to get this many readers interacting with me, and i'm so grateful for you all!! i thought about thanking you all by name, but i dont want anyone to feel left out so i just want every and each one of you reading these words to know: if you read my story, thank you. thank you for giving me your time of the day, thank you for connecting with what i wrote, thank you for telling me in any way possible that you've enjoyed it. thank you. a writer must write, but theres not a lot of joy in talking to an empty room. you filled my small room with warmth and love and there's not enough words to express my gratitude for you all. thank you.

about my writing: i plan on FINALLY DOING THE MANY REQUESTS I HAVE IGNORED OVER THIS FINAL ACT OF BED OF ROSES - requests are still open, too! i'm also outlining a smaller roger x reader fic where she's one of the videographers on the news of the world documentary, so keep an eye out for that! i'm gonna open a permanent taglist for the requests (and eventual new fic), so if you want to be added, hit me up in the ask box/comments/inbox!

anyway i'll finally wrap up this chapter's note cause you have the final chapter to read. enjoy my loves

Words: nearly 4k

Warnings: none??? part of their dialogue is inspired by some of my favourite movies and books like her and the wife and almost famous and before sunrise and the fault in our stars and eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and maybe more I DONT KNOW ITS BEEN AN EMOTIONAL RIDE OK I CANT EVEN REMEMBER WHERE DID I PULL THIS FROM EXACTLY. some errors too cause i didnt revise it completely my bad im crying ok

 ACT 3 - DAWN

"It's the moment night time seems weaker and everything seems easier to figure out"

 Chapter 21

Roger lit a cigarette in the train cabin, and tried to open the top window, the one you can usually pull open.

"Rog, it's not gonna open, you know", you told him as you watched him fiddling with the glass.

"I guess you're right. Hope you won't be bothered by the smoke", he said, taking a puff.

"I won't if you share it with me", you answered, and with a half smile on his lips, Roger lifted the cigarette to your lips, and you breathed in the smoke while looking at him through your lashes.

"Don't look at me like that. Especially if the cigarette smoke is going to leave the cabin sultry and hot", he told you, and you laughed.

"Yeah, and we won't do anything about it", you said, trying to make yourself more comfortable in your seat.

"And why is that?", he asked, batting his lashes innocently at you, you you lightly elbowed his ribs.

"We need to do something else, something we've been ignoring the whole trip", you said, and he raised his brow. "We need to talk about us", you told him, and he breathed out, smoke coming out of his nose.

"I guess you're right again", he said, then slid a bit down on his seat.

You didn't think much about talking about your future with Roger while in Paris, so now has to be the time, on a train that will take you to London and to a whole month of Roger being away, promoting News Of The World.

While in Paris, you never talked to Roger about the future, and talks of the past where subtle - you talked about how you felt with the development Doctor Who took over the years, but didn't think much about the fact that you were separate during years of the show.

You enjoyed the city, but most of all, you enjoyed each other's presence, not only going to museums, churches and castles around you, following them up with fancy dinners and walks along the Seine, but you also spent time inside the room, in your pajamas, ordering take out from restaurants you found on the phone book, having a hard time trying to speak french as Roger tickled the sole of your feet and kept trying to distract you.

You would always remember the peace you felt as you ate cheap chinese food on Roger's shirt on the balcony at night, the Eiffel Tower shining over your meal and Roger's electric blue eyes as he hummed early David Bowie's songs under his breath, or how at home you felt sitting on the couch, Roger on the floor with his head on your lap, his soft strands on your fingers as you tried to braid them while watching re-runs of I Dream of Jenie, Roger focused, trying to understand the french dubbing until he noticed what you were doing.

"Babe, are you trying to braid my hair? Think I'd look better if I'd look more girly?", he said, moving his head back so he can look at you.

"Yeah. Always thought so, but I'll have to keep imagining, since your hair is too short to braid", you pouted, and he laughed.

"Don't you like my new hair, then?", he asked, pouting back, and you moved your head to his level so you could press a quick kiss to his lips.

"I love it, Rog. Especially cause since it's shorter, it looks even messier after I pull it", you said, and he smirked. "My favourite look of yours is when you're all dishevelled after sex", you winked, teasing him.

"That's my favourite, too", he said, turning completely around and pulling you in for a kiss, his hand on the back of your neck.

But now, while in the smoke filled train cabin, you needed to make a few things clear.

"I've been avoiding this for a reason", he said, looking out the window, and you raised your brow, waiting for him to explain. "I have this weird, innate fear of you telling me it's all good but you don't want to see me again, or something", he said, and you gave him a half smile.

"I don't want to do this, Rog. And I won't do it", you told him, and he sighed in relief.

"Even though loving you is a bit complicated, I'll admit. Especially if you're me", you shrugged, and he turned to you, confused.

"Let me explain. I loved your idea for a bed of roses, a few days ago, cause it can exemplify our relationship so well. The roses feel so good against the skin, the smell is so intoxicating, it looks so beautiful - maybe too beautiful, ethereal, even. But then there's always a few thorns here and there, and they hurt so much when they lodge themselves on my skin, but I'm so intoxicated by the whole experience that I don't mind - I convince myself that it's nothing, and even that it's already part of me already, cause the thorns fit so perfectly on me, on my little stabs made by myself, by my own insecurities", you say, and he stares at you.

"What I'm trying to say is that every minute that I'm with you always distract me from the issues that come with being with you - the fact that there's a few expectations that come with being your serious girlfriend, be them always travelling with you while we're young, or eventually staying home once we have kids, knowing that you'll eventually cheat on me with a younger version of myself, while I'm too tired of taking care of the babies to even think about my sexual needs", you said, and you watched him frown.

"I'm not sure where you're going with this-", he started saying, but you cut him off.

"Let me finish, I promise it will get better", you said, fixing your posture as you start again. "But the thing is, I love you. I always have, ever since I started talking to you, you always trying to outflirt me, always seeing me as your equal. You desire me, but you also listen and see me as another human being, you never back down or ignore me if I challenge one of your beliefs, and you never treat me as a trophy-wife-to-be", you say, and you can feel your eyes fill with tears, but you're smiling. That's what you always loved about Roger. He smiled back at you.

"And because I love you, I don't want to deny myself the pleasure of being with you. I'd rather be in a bed of roses than in an empty bed - or worse, a blank bed, someone being there just so it's less cold at night. I want to be with you, Rog", you say, and he pulls you in for a hug, and you hold him back for a few moments before pulling away and looking at him in the eye.

"But also because I love you and I want to be with you, Rog, I don't want us to try to fit into this type of relationship I just mentioned. I don't want you to make me the other woman, either, when you eventually find someone so you can settle down, if it's not me" you said, rubbing your nose. "I guess I want to settle down with you, eventually, as we planned before, but this whole thing - living together and cheating if we're away for too long - it kills me, and I think it kills you, too. I respect you too much to want to cheat on you again, cause if I ever do and you never find out, I'll lose respect for you, and the same thing will happen if you cheat on me and I don't find out. And these are ugly truths, but this isn't our first time together; we know each other, we need to think about this", you told him, and he nodded.

"And I need to make it clear that I'll never be a simple rockstar housewife - I'll never be able to quit my job and look out for the kids while you travel the world and I make them lunch. I'll never be able to sit down on a dinner table on some award show with you and when someone asks me what I'll do, I'll smile as I say I'm a king-maker. I'm not", you said, firmly.

"And I'll never be satisfied with dumb spa and shopping trips as you do the actual work when we travel. If I have to live this life, I'll resent you, and I don't want that. I like being domestic with you, but this type of forced domesticity will poison us again - we're both too wild, too career-focused, for this. We've always been similar", you said, and he gave you a smile as you sighed. "I guess that's all I have to say", you shrugged, and he laughed. "Not much, right?", he said, running his fingers on his hair, pulling the strands back.

"Guess it's my turn now", he said, and you nodded, encouraging him. "When I saw you again, at the pub, there was so much that I wanted to say. I mostly wanted to apologize - it got lost as I got infatuated with you again, and tried to get you in bed - you know, usual stuff", he winked, and you laughed.

"But yeah, I kept looking at you while you updated me on your life, your skin glooming under the stars and the moonlight, and I couldn't stop thinking about all the things I wanted to apologize to you for. All the pain we caused each other. Everything I put on you. Everything I needed you to be or needed you to say. Cause no matter what - even if you had decided on never seeing me again after all this - I'll always love you, because we grew up together. And you helped make me who I am", he said, moving strands of your hair behind your ear.

"I just want you to know that there will always be a piece of you in me, always. Whatever someone you become, wherever you are in the world, however this" he said, pointing his finger to the two of us "works out, in whatever form it might take", he said, sighing "I'll always send you love. Before being anything else to me - and I hope to God you're always something more - you'll always be my friend, to the end", he told you, and the tears were already streaming down your cheeks. His cheeks soon mirrored yours.

"And now, after you so eloquently told me all your fears about our future, I need you to know something else, too", he said, as you wiped the tears under your eyes. "I always loved you for being the way you are. You always challenge me, you always make me work harder, try harder, to be better. And it's not even something you force me to do; I just follow your lead. The way you look was what first got into me, I won't lie, but the way you are is what made me stay. It's what will always make me stay", he said, a genuine smile on his lips. He made you feel warm, like the sun.

"You're the smartest person I know, you're funny, you enjoy sex, you're unapologetic, you're proud of who you are, even proud of your insecurities. And you have such a huge importance in my life: you made me who I am. Whatever way you want to make us work, I trust you. I just want to be with you, in whatever form it takes", he said, smiling, and then getting up and opening his bag.

"I forgot to give you something", he said, pulling a string out of the front pocket. You recognized the red glimmer. It was the heart necklace. "It's still yours to keep. Even though it's not in its original glory, it will always be yours. The necklace and my heart", he said, and you couldn't help but smile at him.

"Always so cheesy, Taylor", you said, joking as you moved your hair to the side so he could put the necklace on.

"You always loved it", he winked, and you laughed. "I do", you said, smiling.

"So, what does it all mean? Where are we?", you asked, and he shrugged. "Wherever you want us to be. I just hope that you keep me around", he told you sincerely.

"I will. So, we're not going back to our old ways, right? We're not back at sharing a flat and stuff", you said, and he nodded. "Sure".

"And you're going to spend a month away, all around the world. I don't want you to feel pressured not to cheat", you said, and he nodded again.

"Yeah, and you're back in London, starting a new job. I don't want you to be worried, too", he said.

"So, maybe no exclusivity, this time? At least not now. This is still debatable, in the future", you said, and he agreed.

"Makes sense. But I'll have a hard time desiring anyone but you", Roger said in a low voice, and you laughed to break any mood that might have settled. You needed to get things clear before making out in the train cabin.

"Me too, Rog. But I don't want to create any expectations of loyalty because we know each other too well, and I don't want a stupid fight to break this thing we're building together", you said.

"It's a good idea. So, no titles, too? I can't call you my girlfriend?", he said, and you laughed.

"You can, if you want to", you told him, and he pulled you closer to him.

"Good, cause I want to call you that on the News of the World launch party, that I'm hoping you'll go as my date", he said, pressing a kiss on top of your head, breathing in your fruity smell.

"Of course I'll go. I need to see the boys again", you told him, and he laughed.

"So you're not going for me, then?", he pouted, and you laughed again.

"No, I'm just going so I can meet Deacy's kid", you told him, and it was his turn to laugh.

-

Once you got to London, Roger offered to go to the airport alone - he had to get on his flight, and he was late. He knew you had to go home and get ready for work tomorrow, but you wanted to spend as much time with him as possible.

He looked relieved when you got on a cab with him to Heathrow.

"Big day tomorrow, huh", he said, rubbing your arm.

"Yeah, I still can't believe I'm finally going to work at the British Museum. It's so surreal, it feels like a dream. Like I'm living someone else's life", you said, looking out at the window, the early sunday morning reminding you of fresh starts - you were in the middle of one.

"Well, it's your life, and it's your job, cause you deserve it, babe. I never met someone who worked so hard to get where they want", Roger said, smiling, proud.

"I did. You and the boys", you said, and he huffed. "Guess you're right. Me and that pack of idiots, we turned out okay", he joked.

Once you got to the airport, you followed him to his gate.

You were feeling nervous - you had him for a week, and now it's time to say goodbye again.

You're both aware that the rest of the band is already waiting impatiently in the jet, but you can't help it - you hug him, dropping your luggage on the floor, and he does the same, the hug soon turning into a kiss as you rub your hands on each other's body, as if you're trying to remember how every inch of the other feels like, as if you're both about to disappear.

But the airport worker clears her throat, and you break the kiss, looking at each other longingly.

"Don't say goodbye", you beg Roger, putting your hand on his lips as he opens his mouth.

"See you soon", he says between your fingers. You smile at him, grateful he found a way with words so you're not repeating the same old goodbyes.

"See you soon, Roger", you say, hugging him again for a few seconds, just trying to capture every detail - his smell, the feeling of his arms around you, his body against yours.

And once he has to go into the jet, you go to the glass wall, and you can swear you see some familiar faces from the windows of the jet.

But before you can focus, soon Roger's well known face takes over the window you're watching, and he puts a hand on the glass.

You can't help but think about the last time you did that with him, him being on your place as you were inside the plane, moving to another country, your heart weighing down on you, filled with doubts.

But now your heart warmed you up, filled with joy and love, and you could feel Roger's crystal heart on top of your chest. He was right. There would be always a piece of him on you, too.

-

Epilogue: News of the World Launch Party

"Y/N! You're back!" Brian's voice welcomed you to the ballroom.

You squeezed Roger's hand - it was the first time you saw the band in years, and you couldn't help but feel a bit nervous about it.

"Darling, you're really back! We thought Roger was getting high too often and hallucinated a week in Paris with you. But I guess you did come back to him", Freddie said, hugging you by the side as he held a glass of champagne on his other hand.

"I'm back with him only so I can see you all again, of course", you said, winking at Roger as he pretended to be offended.

But then you heard Deacy and Veronica scream your name in unison, and you turned to see them.

"So you're really back!!" Deacy said, but your eyes were on the baby boy on his lap.

"This is the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.", you said, trying to get his attention. Roger looked at you, adoringly, as you moved your eyes to Veronica.

"Ronnie!! You're so big!" you said, trying to hug her through her belly. "It's coming out in a few months! It's a boy, Michael. Someone our young Rob can play with", she said, and Roger frowned.

"I could swear it was a girl", he said, and John smiled. "Maybe next time", he said.

"Hey, Bob. Do you want to play with me? C'mon", you said, and he motioned to go to your arms. You picked him up as he started playing with your hair.

"You'd be a good mom, Y/N", Veronica said, and you got tense. "God, Ronnie, don't even joke about this", you said, and Roger chuckled. "It's a sensitive topic at the moment", he explained.

"The moment will take quite some time, you know", you told him, the youngest Deacon pulling your earring before playing with the crystal heart on your neck.

You talked to the boys and Veronica for a while, updating each other, but no one brought up how you and Roger got back together. It just felt natural - no need to question.

You stayed with Roger for the whole night - behind the cameras as he did press, by his side during dinner - where he was back at his old ways, teasing you lightly with his hand under the table. You felt good in his arms, getting back into his life.

He was interested in getting back into your life, too. He came back to London last night, and went straight to dinner with you. You were trying different food, and now was time to try Indian food.

As he ate his Chicken Tikka Masala, dipping the naan in the sauce, you invited him for a party your bosses would be throwing next month to celebrate a new exhibit.

He gave you a bright smile. "I'd love to be your date, my love", he said.

And after the Deacons went home - Robert was asleep on his father's lap - the party got louder, the dance floor more full. You could swear you saw an angular face that could only belong to Bowie pick someone to dance - was this Princess Leia? - but before you could process the whole situation, Roger pulled you to dance.

"Thought you didn't dance, Mr Taylor", you told him, wrapping your arms around his neck as you tried to slow dance to All The Young Dudes, by Mott The Hoople.

"I don't dance very well, indeed. But it's just an excuse to be so close to you in public, and God, I'm dying to call you Ms Taylor", he said, and you chuckled.

"Take it slower, Rog", you told him, and he leaned in to rest his head on the curve of your neck. "And why do you want to be close to me in public? Is it still one of your weird fetishes?", you joked, and you felt him laugh against your skin.

"No, it's just that you've been killing me with this dress of yours, and you've been killing a lot of the guys here, too. Could swear I saw Bowie checking you out", he told you, and you gasped.

"Taylor, don't even joke about this. I'd have a heart attack", you said, and he laughed. "You'd leave me here for Bowie, is that it?", he asked, and you laughed.

"Of course not. I just have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that he might acknowledge my existence", you said, and it was his turn to laugh. "The only eyes I really like to feel on me when I look away are yours, Rog", you said, and he gave you a quick kiss.

"Okay, had enough of trying to dance. Let's get some fresh air", he told you, and you followed him to the balcony.

As the cold, fresh air brushed against your exposed skin, you heard the first notes to Tiny Dancer, by Elton John. You walked to the balcony, leaning in and taking in the view of London at night.

Roger soon took you into his arms, hugging you from behind, and you felt safe, his body heart making you warm in the cold evening as he jokingly whispered "Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man" into your ear, and you scoffed. "Slower, Taylor", you told him, and he laughed.

"However you want it, babe", he said, now paying attention to the view, focusing on the feeling on you in his arms again. Finally.

 But oh how it feels so real

Lying here with no one near

Only you and you can hear me

When I say softly, slowly

 "I could die right now, Y/N. I'm just... happy. I've never felt this type of happiness before. I'm just exactly where I want to be", Roger said in his husky voice, and you nodded lightly in agreement.

Because in Roger's arms, you feel home. You feel what you hoped to feel for years - what got you to move to London in the first place. You feel like you belong.

---

1988 Special

Taglist:

@taylorroger-s @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @its-nessi @anamcg317 @frenchieswiftie @queen-danielle-dani-dan @minihemo @shutup-sorry @theyrealllegends @killerqueenisthebest @ashagracelove @hardy-s @fuckinghurricanesoul @secretsweetscollectionblog @mrswinterhater @11mb0 @tamtam-go92 @derptatosaur @brianandthemays @phantom-fangirl-stuff @the-hysterical-queen @rogerofmylife @notevenlxvely @discodeakyy @x1975sos @16wiishes @jennycidesstuff @partydulce @melros-e @onevisionliz

[oakmd]

Congratulations ! You received 1,000+ followers !

Continue? ▶YES ▷NO

 Well, I can’t really express anything but amazement at such an accomplishment, and to be honest I’m pretty blown away that so many of you have stuck with me since the beginning of this blog, and that so many of you enjoy Professor Oak enough to stay. I’ll forever stand by the fact that this blog was the best 'joke’ I ever made, and probably one of the most fulfilling things I’ve actively kept at. 

As much as I hope this blog has helped you find comfort and laughter, RPing Professor Oak has definitely changed me for the better, as well. It has given me an outlet to heal parts of myself and provide help to others, and also pushed me to practice positivity even when I know I get so low sometimes that I don’t even want to try. Another bonus is that I have met wonderful people here, most of you just strictly friends on the dash, but I’ve also gained relationships with people that have extended into discord and I’m sure it has made all the difference this past year and a half. 

As usual, I’m not really a fan of long-winded gushes of emotion, so I’ll keep it short, but I would really like to have it be known that my love for Professor Oak has grown tremendously, in ways I would have never reached without taking the time to thoughtfully craft his backstory and work to develop him further. I know he’s a very nostalgic character that so many of us know and respect that I’m always very careful of how I choose to build on the image without ruining what’s already there.  Out of all my many muses here, this one has seemingly ( and surprisingly ) all at once snuck its way as my primary blog; the blog I always look forward to logging into the most, where I enjoy following your activity whether it be IC or OOC, and just generally enjoy being in the presence of people so passionate about a fandom associated with my childhood. I love this little corner of a community that has welcomed me and engaged with me and unknowingly kept me going, and to look back at my experience and see that I’ve had no trouble at all makes me feel really lucky.

There will never be a way to fully and accurately express my thanks, but I will say it anyway: thank you so much, and I hope that no matter where you go, and no matter what you do, you are trying to be your best, and that you’re happy. Professor Oak will always be there to congratulate you when you reach your dreams.

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER ( because my mind is so scattered - ) special shout outs to special people: 

@timecapscle - wasn’t it you that said i’d one day get 1,000 followers? : ) you’ve literally supported me since the beginning and i just wanna say that i appreciate your enthusiasm for professor oak as much as i appreciate your enthusiasm for bill. its wonderful to see someone represent an otherwise under represented character and you do it well. i care for you so much, and wish nothing but good things for your future even if you want to do bad things in the name of science

@diligentseeker / @evolutionexpert  - someone i consider a cherished friend, despite how sporadic our interaction seems, i appreciate all our random long talks on discord, and i’ll never forget our very first conversation. it meant a lot to me, and i want to thank you. i dont meet a lot of ppl that i feel ‘get’ me on some unspoken level, so when it happens, its a nice surprise. anyway i won’t ramble because i take it you’re not one for praise, but im glad people like you exist. with that being said please stop making professor elm stress me out.

@undinaes - the moment you’ve been waiting for. SIKE! just kidding; its no surprise that you’re always filling my dash with testimonials from people that see you for what you are. you’re a beam of sunshine with all the qualities to match; warm, bright, and a natural source of energy that brings people together. your passion for writing is astounding and even when ppl dont deserve your kindness, you’re unbiased in giving it out. truly a mom through and through. but most importantly, ur my girlie and im glad we met :v

@ofpalletown - in my mind, you are practically ash, and ill be here to support you even during all your moments of Extra™ ... but aside from that you’re very loyal to your friends and full of something sunny that i can’t describe. ur gonna be okay, kid. so pls stop stressing out ur dear prof oak 

@03redd - i probably mentioned not long ago that your blog is really good, but ill say it again in case you weren’t listening. i love your blog? its very fun to follow, and i think you’re one of my favorite reds. even with me not being game verse, its so easy to just immerse myself in whatever nonsense you have red drag professor oak into. i dig your creative energy. 

@normaliium - and ofc i cant leave out my cousin. the one to be admired, the ever-successful, brilliant human being that loves me even when i take off ten years of your life each night. my life would lack such substance without you, and i will never forget all you’ve done to help me when i would otherwise be left to myself. you make me really proud to know you, you really do, and everyone i ever talk to you about can attest to that. #YOLO

@bossgiovanni - you haven’t been active in forever, but you remain one of my friends and that’s all that matters. from skype to discord, im glad we could stick together even with our blatant differences in opinion. you are always so nice to me and say the kindest things, and i just wanna say thanks. hope youve been doing well! you are capable of so much, and i believe in you, so don’t forget that. 

@agentmansley - can i jsut say thank you for staying true to your muse and throwing even the purest of characters into your mess? i have loved your blog long before i made professor oak, and you’re seriously one of the funnest people i’ve rp’d with here. everything i’ve written with you is refreshing and new, and never fails to make me laugh. thank you for your love for kent, and also for writing with me. i know you’ve been MIA for a while, but you’re definitely a memorable person. 

@tcssaiga - i dont have a lot of cross-fandom interactions so when they happen im usually pleased. you’ve got great characterization, and have perfect dialogue. i never watched a whole lot of inuyasha but i’ve atched enough to know that you’re pretty close to canon. thanks for the interactions even if you’re mean to prof oak on archer ; (

@askgarymfoak - MY LITTLE ACORN!!!! the dedication you have for gary honestly gives me so much life, and i love rping with you on discord and just yelling about sam / gary hcs. its always a highlight of my day and i can tell you’ve thought about gary and his life long and hard, and its so cool to see someone interested in all that makes him the Headache we all recognize and love. please never stop sharing with me the personal hcs you have for the boy, i always want to hear them. 

@futureheld - we don’t even rp with each other on this muse BUT youre one of my longest tumblr rp friends that i still talk to and you’re really important to me. we have history, we go back!!!! okay? #FRIENDSHIP n all that. but tbh id follow you on any muse because your writing is just great? id write any weird crossover with you because you have a talent for making it work seamlessly anyway. thanks 4 the memories, loser. 

@seviiserver - CELIO!!! we dont talk as much as we used to, or rather, we talk in bursts every now and then but i consider you one of my good friends! not only are u really talented in all things artistic, but i love your writing and it’s always enjoyable to read, even if its not one of our threads together. you made me have so much adoration for celio and like all the other ppl ive met who bring life to underrated / under-rp’d muses, i enjoy seeing everything you pour into him... AND ALSO I LOVE OUR OAK / ROWAN INTERACTIONS? i love them so much it hurts okay. even if its just silliness in discord it brightens my day. anyway perhaps one day we will cross paths in this sleepless city and i will finally teach u how to ride a bike.

@rottenrhythms - i know i dont have much to say or comment with whenever you message me on discord, but i admire how much detail you put into your characters and meta. im always impressed with all the work and thought you put into your world-building; i wish i had that much drive. also, you’ve made a lot of improvement with yourself from the time i first started talking to you on skype. be proud of your progress, and keep working at it, it’s worth it in the long run!

@lack--two NATE youre definitely a very sweet person, and perhaps a little more devious ooc than i’d imagined you would be ( at least to me, why must you poke me for reactions? ; ( u wound me ) but you’re a soothing presence to be around and im glad you were finally able to make discord work. bonus points for letting me yell about yugioh all the time. never stop being wonderful. im here for you whenever you might need a listening ear, okay? 

@loyalpika / @palletbloomer - #PRIKA!!! ever since i first followed you i remembered being blown away by your extensive headcanons on pikachu and i genuinely enjoy every blog you make! we dont talk OOC but from all your ooc posts you seem like a very caring older sister and thats nice to see; with you running around all the time, i hope you do get some rest every now and then! i hope our camaraderie never falters, take care friend! 

@thepkmnnurse - i cant forget all the love and support both you and your muse have for professor oak, and im happy you try to spread positivity on the dash whenever you can! we don’t talk much OOC but from what i can tell you’re just as kind and nurturing as nurse joy herself. i hope you’ve been taking it easy wherever you are, and i hope your days are bright!

@rebelracket - will there ever be a day that i dont enjoy seeing your delinquent muse causing havoc on the dash? your creativity is wonderful to witness and i enjoy clarissa so much, thank you for interacting with a pure ol’ muse like mine. i hope we can continue to keep writing together, im excited at where we might end up. p.s. your art is delightful.

@porttownprince - you’re a gentle presence on my dash but im glad that youre here and that you’ve stuck around despite all the bad things that followed you. i hope you can overcome all the trauma you’ve been through. thank you for being kind with me!

@nikkouki - i know i dont say much but i enjoy your random check ins with me on discord, and i think youre a sweet young girl. you’re gonna go far in life, just make sure you keep going! continue being a precious kiddo and don’t forget to study your japanese ; (

@viciousvainglory & @midoriyamight - i cant think of one without the other so accept this double-tag lol. you’ve both supported this blog since the beginning and i wont forget how welcome you made me feel! no matter what blogs you’re on im glad we can still be friends! you deserve the big toblerone! 

@fateandfury - my long time writing parter without knowing we were long time writing partners! the work you put into professor juniper is something to behold! we haven’t seemed to interact much despite rping professor muses, but that doesn’t mean i don’t appreciate your take on such a muse!

OTHER BLOGS TO BE ADMIRED ( also in no particular oder) : @sterlingsilverchampion @starmarkcd @pxgtails @satanstories @champofpallet @golden-oak @spriggaens @nurturen @florenselite @craniumaniac @ask-guzma @tenderpoison @gocatchem @faemoria @hikaup@writtenbykaichu @executiveariana @honoxtokage @simikami @bigcalavera @rotorotom @thehopcful @and-they-succeeded @metalprincess13 @keep-those-memories-away @hisvanity @attitxde @asmayflies @sesshcmaru @theagentlooker @ambcrly @kantocowboy @dauphindekalos @beareroftheblueorb @blastingxff @aquaelegance @bugeyesboutique @make-it-trouble  @thunderstonereject  @theagentlooker @soultattered @scvedbylove  @diluviumx @inevitabilis-sors @pokedouche @fightiniumz @firespun

I’M SO SORRY IF I MISSED PEOPLE, THIS IS REALLY HARD FOR SOMEONE SO SCATTER-BRAINED AND MEMORY-FOGGED AS ME. EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT INCLUDED AND EVEN IF WE’RE NOT MUTUALS, I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR SUPPORT OF THIS BLOG. WITHOUT ANY OF YOU I WOULDN’T HAVE GOTTEN HERE.

BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR A GIVEAWAY!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

[iprefermyanarchycolorcoded]

Power Rangers (Short Story)

I shivered and grasped onto the chipped paint of the windowsill. I did my best not to rattle the glass. I tried to calm the tremors in my legs. I listened for the familiar tune. Alex turned the TV on and looked through his window at me knowingly. Go Go Power Rangers, broke the silence.

Finally, it was Saturday morning, and my power rangers were here to kick ass. I wish I were brave like they were.

Our little ritual had started a few months ago. Alex was to proud to admit he was a power rangers fan but I had seen the proof.  

His readjusted his bag and the action figure fell to the floor. The pink ranger, it was covered in scrapes and the paint was faded from overuse. I sauntered over to his chair, filled with glee.  

"Whats that Alex?" I asked with a switchblade smile.

"N-n-nothing Sarah go away," He nervously stammered.  

"Oh I think its something," I taunted. I reached forward and snatched the action figure away before he had a chance to retrieve it. At 11 years old I was already taller than the boys in my class. So I held the figure up over his head.  

Obviously trying to look like this wasn't bothering him he whispered, "What do you want Sarah?"

"What do you have to offer?" I said, drunk on unfamiliar power. I swiped my curly hair over my shoulder dramatically.

"Ill give you my fruit snacks every day for a week." He was starting to get red in the face and his freckles darkened with embarrassment.

"Nah I don’t want that. I think I'll keep the action figure." I started to walk away.

"No! Please! If I lose that my Mom will be so mad! Please Sarah!"  

Wondering how best to benefit from the situation I thought until an idea the size of Czechia hatched in my brain.

"Do you watch power rangers on Saturday?"

"Yeah duh, why?" He asked.

"Where do you live?"

"Two blocks behind the old hardware store on main street."  

I took a minute to think then proposed a trade. "I'll give you this back and I won't tell anybody if on Saturday morning I get to watch Power Rangers at your house."

His face scrunched. "You can't do that. My mom says I'm not allowed to hang out with you because your mom's a w-hore." He whispered the last word knowing it wasn’t allowed and placed an unnecessary accent on the w.  

"Ya well I don't give a shit what you mom thinks. Do you want this back or not?" I asked as I began to walk away.

"Yeah fine ok, but you have to stay outside. You can watch through my window."  

"I can't hear the words from out there," I whined.

"Ugh, I'll have my mom put on the little words at the bottom."  

I paused, thinking about the offer.  

"Why can't you just watch it at your house?" He offered. "Or are you too poor for a TV?"  

Actually we were too poor for a house but the little shit didn't need to know that much.

"My sister spilled juice on the TV and we have to get a new one." Hopefully I could remember that lie if I was questioned about it later. Just then another kid walked up and looked right at the Power Ranger action figure.  

"Is that your doll?" The chubby redhead asked spitting through her heavy lisp, looking right at Alex. "Tharah is tho poor she can't afford thoap that’s why the always thmells like dogthss."  

Alex looked at me with fear in his eyes. He knew his social life was over if anyone found out that he was 12 years old and still watched Power Rangers. I looked at him and the fiery little demon to our right.  

"Actually its an action figure and it is mine. So why you don’t you fuck off TTHHeeeeeTHHicaaa!" I spat her name so hard I thought I was going to spit out a river.

After the spit hit her face she decked me good right in the jaw and walked off. I handed the action figure to Alex and walked off in a huff. The teacher looked over and saw the red splotch on my face and a disgustingly pleased Jessica. She looked away.  

"Ill leave it in the bathroom later and you can go in after me and get it, that way no one knows its yours," I said. "Why do you bring it to school if you don’t want people to know it's yours?"  

He mumbled something then looked at me.  

"If those were words I did not understand them."  

He mumbled again this time a little louder but still too soft for me to understand.

"If you don’t want to answer you can just tell me to shove off," I said, confused.

His face had matched the orange- red of his bowl cut. "Because she makes me feel brave!" It was an aggressive whisper but at least I understood.  

"Not brave enough to be honest apparently," I retorted.  

"Look its different for boys!" He said. He was starting to get upset so I didn’t push farther. "Boys aren't allowed to like girly things, and boys have to be brave all the time." He readjusted his khaki shorts and sat back down and looked at the ground.  

"I don’t know a lot about you, but I do know that if the power rangers were here right now, they would want you to be yourself. Even if it makes a you little girly whatever that even means." I began to walk away. "See you Saturday kat."  

He tried to obscure the smile on his face after hearing the nickname. Katrina was the pink rangers name, apparently his favorite.  

*

I watched frozen like the landscape around me as the show finished, thankful. Even if the show was ending. Even if I had to stand barefoot in early winter. The credits began to roll and I was about to head "home" when I saw Kat moving around inside. I had continued to call him Kat. Even if we didn’t really hang out because of his mother.

He held up his hands for me to wait and I was confused but I humored him. He searched through some bags in his room and pulled a grocery bag out and slowly opened his window.  

"You cant tell anyone about this ok?" He whispered.

"About what, you got drugs in there? Im not a cartel kid," I joked.

"No you dunce, just take it." He handed me a grocery bag and said, "Don't open it until you get home." Then we heard his mother coming so he shut the window and I took off down the street. I didn’t stop running until I got back to where I had been sleeping.

I opened the bag and the first thing I pulled out was a new pair of socks and sneakers. They were..... my size? Taped to the inside of the shoe box was a letter.  

Sarah,

I don’t know how to write letters so this will be short. I know you don’t have a house. Im not stupid like you. And I noticed your shoes fell apart because your poor. So I had my mom buy me a new pair and you can have them. I don’t know if you know this but Power Rangers is over now which means that you probably shouldn’t hang out, outside my house at 6 am anymore. When you started coming over I wasn't very happy about it but since then I decided that I sorta kinda like you I guess. And I was wondering if you wanted to be friends.

Alex

I laughed. I lauhged so ahrd I thought I was gonna break. I laughed until my whole body shook and tears shed from my eyes. I laughed at the idea of us being friends. I laughed because... well because I was happy, and I didn’t know what else to do.

I took a second to try on the socks and shoes and before I could stop myself  and I started sobbing. They were so warm. And comfy. I'd never had new shoes before. At least none that I didn’t have to steal. I sat weeping for a few minutes then noticed there was something else in the bag and a backside to the letter.  

I pulled the Pink Ranger action figure out of the bag and read the rest of the letter.  

P.S

I don’t need this anymore so I thought I would give it to you. I thought I needed her to be brave but since I met you, I wanna be brave on my own. I guess you don't completely suck.

Alex..... (again, I told you I don't know how to write letters.)

[wearethejerkoffs]

1-100 ;;;-)

1. How long have you had a Tumblr?2011 i think? 2. Describe your first kiss, who was it with, what was it like, where was it etc?his name is justin. he had a gf at the time and kissed me (shitty af) in a library. it was nothing special. i really liked him though. 3. What’s your biggest regret? I know we all say we don’t regret things but obviously it’s how we learn, from our mistakes. So what’s something from your past you wished you could have changed?dating emilio for as long as i did. 4 Favorite Songs at the moment?i cant pick its too hard 5. What is the craziest thing that you have ever done?i am not wild6. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?i erase this shit from my mind7. Do you have any scars and if so, how did you get them?they come from myself hahahh 8. Where would you like to be in 10 years?just successful and happy. 9. What are your views on drugs and alcohol?theyre fine just dont make them your top priority 10. What are your views on religion?believe what you want. dont bash me for not believing in anything though. 11. Have you ever thought about ending your own life? If so, why?of course. i get sad, hoe. 12. Write 5 facts people might not know about you.i am very open. there is very little people dont know about me. 13. last really important text you got?ky cam saying shes down to shop w me and maddie :)14. Can you let go?not easily 15. Discuss your first love.have i even had one?16. Put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up. Explain why each song is on there.i dont have an ipod but fuck i wish i DID17. Name somewhere you’d like to move or visit.visit? probably canada. id move there too. or wisconsin. 19. What are your views on mainstream music?no beef, i dont often find stuff i vibe with on the radio but i have18. Are you currently missing someone?more than anything 19. At what age do you think people should have sex?prolly high school, but really whenever you are comfortable. 20. What are your highs and lows of this past year?highs: leaving my abuser! getting a job i love! leaving people who are shitty and toxic! meeting rachel! meeting jessie! seeing amity!lows: spending the first half with my abuser! self harming again! crashed my car! 21. What are your strongest beliefs?i believe in aliens and ghosts (who doesn't?) i believe in an after life. 22. Who are you closest to in your family?my brother hes my best friend damn near 23. How important do you think education is?pretty important. i dont think college is necessary. 24. What’s one of your favorite shows?how i met your mother25. How have you changed in the past 2 years?i am stronger and happier. i have better friends and just a happier life. 26. Name 5 people who are famous who you find attractive.ryan ross, detective nick amaro, the rock, young matthew lillard, and ellen page27. Name your favorite movie and what it’s about.nick and norahs infinite playlist. its about a girl falling for a dude thru the mix cds he made his ex (her friend) and meets him at the club and soends the whole night with him looking for her drunk friend and a secret show. 28. Who is someone who fascinates you and why?aalyssa. shes so interesting to me and i could listen to her talk for hours. 29. What kind of person attracts you?lanky emo boys. douchebags. pretty girls. 30. What’s a problem that you have recently had or are currently having?i want to find another job 31. Name something that you miss.dhanes laugh. 32. Share 5 goals you want completed in the next 30 days.get in the shape i want to. thats it. 33. What’s been the highlight of your month and the lowest point? anytime i see michael and rachel its a highlight. low point: my FUCKING CAR GETTING HIT. 34. What’s something that you’ve done in the past that you would never do again?molly damn near. 35. What is you’re biggest insecurity & why?tummy. its too big. 36. What were the last 3 songs you listened to and what did they mean to you?eeeek i cant remember.37. Do you have a toy that’s really special to you and if so what is it, how did you get it etc?no i dont but i wish i did. 38. Have you lost anyone close to you to death? yep. i love you dhane! i love you christian! 39. What is your purpose in life?do i really have one? 40. When was the last time you cried and what was it over?today at a sad facebook video 41. If you got to spend an entire day with your favourite celebrity what would you guys do? we would have sex i love you ryan ross 42. If you could only listen to one artist for the rest of your life, who would you choose and why?nevershoutnever. you fuckin know why. 43. What are 3 traits that you like about yourself and what are three that you dislike about yourself? Personality wise.goods: im very empathetic. i look out for people. im fucking funnybads: im too nice. i get angry very fast. im petty. 44. Can you cook? If so what are your favorite dishes to make? yes!! i love to just make pasta with chicken and homemade pizza. 45. What was the last decision you regretted making?probably fucking sy hahahaha 46. Do you believe in the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater”?nope47. Do you ever wish you were famous?not really 48. What’s the nastiest thing anyone has ever said to YOU? Or something that’s hurt you above anything else and why?emilio said some of the most disgusting shit to me for months. dude told me he was gonna kill me hella times and how i should just end my life already! fucks wrong with that dude? 50. What mark would you want to leave on this world after you are gone?just want people to remember the good about me and my laugh 51. Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery?not really52. Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on?hell no whats the point 53. Have you ever slapped a boy in the face?yes54. What’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you?drive around with me and not make fun of me while i sob my eyes out. thanks becca! thanks jessie!55. What is one of your favorite memories?amity performing youngbloods. thanks for making me cry! 58. What’s the nicest present you’ve ever received?becca bought me an amity ticket, i love that bitch. emilio got me a stuffed animal that is sully so that was pretty nice of him to do (rare) my fav is when people give me flowers. 59. Have you ever had your heart broken?yeah im a sensitive bitch. not his fault tho!60. Have you ever wanted to change anything about your life? If so, what?yeah like mostly where i live. i would just like to leave here. 61. What is something you feel like you are really good at? problem solving62. What are your top 5 favourite all time songs by your favourite artist?open letter. deaths hand. i hate hartley. youngbloods. chasing ghosts. 65. What’s one thing someone has done for you that was really small but made a huge impact?becca had my back throughout my past relationship. she really did everything for me. s/o to her for being legit the best person i have ever met. 66. What do you do when you can’t sleep?watch more tv68. If you could change 3 things within your government, what would they be and why?get trump out of office. thats all i got. i dont know much about the government. 69. What’s your favourite holiday and why?id say halloween. i like the spooks. 70. What’s the kindest thing a stranger has ever done for you? Even if it’s TINY like holding a door open for you, something that you remember even though they were a complete stranger.the nice anons i get. thanks guys. 71. Who’s your favorite cartoon character?honestly? probably scooby. 72. What’s the first song that comes to your mind while reading this and why?scooby doo theme song. i love that shit. 74. What would you like to be the first dance song at your wedding?idk i never think about my wedding plans tbh. something alternative ideally. maybe something by flatsound or across the universe. 75. Have you ever been told you look like a famous person, if so, who?nope 76. What’s one thing you can not live without?becca! 77. What is the most selfless thing you have ever done for someone?idk i will really do anything for anyone. mostly just helping out with driving. 78. Are you a girly girl?i dont think so 79. What color is your bed?black80. Do you prefer light or dark haired guys?dark. ideally brunette. 81. Are you currently frustrated with a boy?hell yes but not his fault 82. Do you have a best friend?yes. s/o to becca. s/o to maddie. s/o to tony. 82. What song makes you cry the most?i cant even pick. probably something by flatsound 83. What’s the funniest film you’ve ever seen?eeeeeekkkk...... i have no idea...... honestly for some reason all that comes to mind is 21 jump street and thats weird 84. What’s something crazy that you’ve always wanted to do?im just tryna kiss a gurl85. Has anything ever happened to you that you just can’t forgive?yes for sure. i will never forgive my abusers. 86. Ever been really drunk?sadly87. Is there any type of rumor going around about you?not really. these people were saying i do bars and thats pretty fucked up considering ive never taken prescription pills for "fun"89. Have you ever felt ashamed about something? If so what was it & why? yeah i'm not gonna talk about it 90. Do you keep a journal? If so what mostly goes in it? Random thoughts, feelings, stories?i did, i should start again. 
91. Do you like somebody?yep :-)92. Craziest shit ever done?im not crazy 93. What’s the saddest story/one that’s touched you the most that you’ve ever heard on the news?the kid that hung himself because people spread rumors that his girlfriend killed herself. 94. If you were told you were going to have 3 daughters, what would you want to name them?i have no idea because im never having kids. 95. Do you have a middle name and if so, what is it?marie96. Are you in a relationship?no 97. Do you enjoy drama?not really98. Are you a virgin?nope99. Are you short or tall?short100. Do you have siblings? If so, what are their names and how old are they? amber is 31, erin is 29, and tony is 16

[hemmo-or-hemmings]

The Step-Sister Of Luke Hemmings Chapter 6 ~ In the Beginning

Okay so I didn’t put all the new chapters up the other night but that was because I had some editing, sorry. But here it is! Behold Luke Hemmings

Okay so I live in England, the land of cold and gloom, what the hell was I supposed to do?

"Fin! I can't believe you didn't tell me you didn't have summer clothes, or at least you did but you grew out of them!" Groaned my mum for the 100th time that day.

"Okay since when have I ever had summer clothes? Plus you didn't ask before what was I supposed to do, I don't have a job, I cant just go out and buy my own clothes." I stated defending myself.

"Yeah and it's a good job too, you'd end up walking around in all black because you're going through the 'emo' phase." My mum bit back. Rolling my eyes I looked across the vast room full of clothing. We had got the the airport no more than half an hour ago when I finally told mum that I may just sweat to death. But now i think it's gonna be death by shopping. Oh joy!

But then I saw it. It was really cute. Not too colourful. Not too girly. But very me. A dress that I actually liked. I was immediately drawn to it. It was red. Burgundy to be specific. Burgundy is my favourite colour and I love wearing red. So this could actually be the perfect dress for me. It had long lace sleeves and it wasn't provocative for a thirteen year old. It wasn't long, but not too short either. Oh and there were matching converse to go with it. I didn't realise that I had actually walked off to the dress until I touched it and felt the soft fabric beneath my fingertips.

"Well isn't that a pretty dress?" Mum's voice questioned from a distance. I could hear her soft footsteps coming closer, but quite slowly. She knew I wasn't the type for pretty stuffs."If you want it I will make you a deal." She suggested. Oh. No. I did like the dress, a lot actually. I may only have been thirteen, but hey puberty hit me quite early, I was getting quite the bust now and even though I was filling out, I wasn't really gaining weight anymore, so this dress would look quite good on me. It was decision time. The dress or my pride? Well we were gonna be in a different country for two weeks. No one I really know would see me in the god awful clothes my mum chose. And I could probably get away with never wearing them every again after the holiday.

"Okay, but on one condition. I want the converse as well." I raised my eyebrow at her. Waiting for her to agree. Waiting for her to disagree. Waiting for her bargain.

"Fine but I get to choose some new clothes for you." She said bluntly. My fingertips had just got to the coat hanger the dress was on. "And before we get off the plane in Australia, I don't care how or where, but you get out of those depressing clothes." She turned on her foot and walked away.

An hour later and my mum had bought me quite a lot of clothing. She had said that when we get to the next airport we will put the new clothing in and I could get changed. But at that moment we just had to carry all the heavy bags around with us. We had found a Costa Coffee shop in the airport and sat down. Mum texted Andrew to let him know that we were at the airport and not backing out 'lol'. She had gotten a latte whilst I had stuck with a cappuccino. I know that drinking a lot of coffee at that age probably wasn't good but eh, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

There was a loud noise calling out our flight. That was it. I was actually excited. We quickly went to the boarding gate with all the other people flying. Pair by pair we made it to the desk where our tickets and passports were checked. We then walked through the jet bridge to get to the actual plane. We were shown to our seats. Mine was next to the window, of course. We put our hand luggage above us and then sat in our seats and buckled up. The safety procedure was given by all of the made up air hostess'. The plane started making its way to the runway. Getting faster and faster every minute. We hit a fast speed and I jolted back a bit. We were making our way down the runway. Further and further. Faster and faster. I could feel the wheels leave the ground. We were getting higher.

After two flights, one stop off and an hour of getting our luggage it had finally started. Our 'holiday'.

'Fin, we're finally here!' My mum had squealed like a five year old.

'Yep, the land down under, wohoo!' I mimicked her sarcastically, 'Can we go now? It's like a hundred degrees and i'm getting really claustrophobic.' I mumbled looking at the many people rushing past us like their lives depended on it.

'Okay, okay let me check my phone to see if Andy has messaged me.' She scrummaged through her bag grasping her phone quicker than the speed of light, 'Oh! He's already here!' She gasped and grabbed my hand quickly leading me to where I assumed Andy was. We went past a few bars and restaurants, and then there was the duty free's. 5 minutes later and I could feel the increase of heat, which obviously meant we were closer.

'Andrew!' Suddenly the firm hold of my hand disappeared and I saw my mum dashing towards a tall man with sunglasses, who I recognised as Andrew after adjusting my eyes to this weird fireball in the sky that I had never seen before because I lived in England most of my life.

Slowly making my way towards them with my luggage, I saw the most disturbing thing of my life: tongue locking parents. Who puts their tongue in someone else's mouth? That is beyond disgusting! I sighed and shuffled forward. But both were still oblivious of me. I couldn't stand it any longer.

*Cough cough cough* Obviously dying *Cough Cough Cough*

I splutter a bit for the added affect

Clears throat

'Sorry I think I got a fly stuck in my throat, are we going now?' I ask nonchalantly, although inside I feel really sick.

' Finley! It's so good to see you again! The cars over there,' He pointed to a car park that was a bit of a walk away, 'Here let me take that for you Del.' He said to my mother taking hold of her luggage and leading us to his car. Whilst walking he asked loads of questions about school, and then asked my mum about work and Nan. And what the weather was like in England. Then they started a different conversation about how confusing it was that England roads are opposite to others because of which way you have to drive, blah blah blah.

Kicking rocks as I dragged my bags I started getting a bit frustrated, why couldn't he just park closer? Why was it so hot? Why is no-one carrying my bags for me? Why is that cute guy with the blonde hair and blue eyes looking at me weirdly?

Woah wait...